#sam kiszka fanfic
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Talk ⎮ Sam Kiszka x Reader
a/n: i've got hozier on the mind, people! sorry! this idea has been banging around in my head for a while, and since i can only write angst, here y'all go (sammy nation, just email me an invoice for your therapy) ((and look at the lyrics to this song!))
thank you @sacredjake for the pic (credit to owner!) and @gold-mines-melting for editing and being my second set of eyes; it truly takes a village lol
pairing: asshole!sam kiszka x fem reader
summary: you hated sam, you really did, but one fateful night he gets under your skin in more ways than one.
warnings: 18+, explicit sexual content, minors DO NOT INTERACT!!! angst, alcohol consumption, stubborn mean asshole sammy (my guilty pleasure), petty y/n (she is by no means blameless LOLLLL) degradation, name calling, hate sex, unprotected p in v (please be safe, folks), fingering (f receiving), oral (f receiving), spanking, choking, pls let me know if i missed anything!
word count: 8.3k
You couldn’t stand his face. The cadence of his voice. The smirk that would splay across his lips when he found another woman to lead on only to inevitably gaslight her and leave her hanging once the night was through. You really couldn’t stand any of it.
And now, posted up on the side of the bar with your friends, you were seeing red watching Sam comb his fingers through some innocent woman’s hair as he leaned in close to her to undoubtedly whisper a slew of nonsense.
“You know, you really shouldn’t let him get to you as much as he does,” your best friend, Danny, murmured, shaking you from your spiraling thoughts. “He’s way more harmless than he looks.”
You sighed, turning your head back down to the drink in your hands that was now mostly water and melting ice.
“Did you really have to bring him with you tonight? Like, I know he’s your friend and your brother and all, but-”
Josh clapped you on the back, signifying his return from wherever he scampered off to.
“That’s right, mama, he’s our brother. Unfortunately, we’ve had to learn how to live with his antics, and you might as well, too.”
The glare you shot Josh had him retreating his hand from your back, slowly backing away with arms raised, signifying his surrender as a chuckling Jake took the spot beside him.
“Yeah, well you might want to give him that pep talk, too, Josh. I know he feels the same way about me as I do him.” Jake’s smile only widened as he brought his glass to his lips, muttering something that wasn’t quite loud enough for your ears to pick up, but earned him a jab in the stomach from his twin.
The blood pulsing through your veins was beginning to turn scalding hot as you turned to take in the scene that was unfolding between Sam and his mystery woman of the night. He now had his arms snaked low around her waist, kissing and nibbling at her ear as she blushed and wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders.
“Relax your jaw, honey, you’re gonna give yourself a headache,” Danny cooed from over your shoulder, bringing a reassuring hand to the middle of your back as you continued to stare, imagining lasers darting from your eyes to shoot right through Sam’s head.
“How can you all tolerate,” you gestured towards Sam, “this? It doesn’t bother you at all? His blatant disrespect for any woman that walks the earth?”
“Of course it bothers us, darling,” Jake started, coming up beside you to watch Sam as well, “but you know Sam. He is never going to quit doing something unless he finds out the hard way for himself, no matter what any of us tell him. One of these days Karma will get him, and I personally can’t wait to watch.”
He was right, of course, and that was one of the things that drove you craziest about Samuel. Sam was headstrong and stubborn, refusing to listen to any advice given to him and always getting burned in the long run, even if he didn’t realize it at the time. He was arrogant, smug, self-righteous, and always had to have his way, and the thought of him using this poor girl to his own advantage only to gaslight her and leave was about the last thing you could tolerate.
The worst part of it was that you had always secretly found Sam attractive, and sometimes there would be an all-knowing flash in his eyes when you two were bickering that suggested that perhaps he actually liked getting a rise out of you. The curve of his smirk, the twinkle of his honey-brown eyes, he had to know. And it all pissed you off further.
You hadn’t realized that you zoned out, still locked on Sam, until his eyes met yours. The woman he had in his arms was now buried in his neck, reciting whatever sweet nothings Sam had definitely spewed to her, and once his gaze found yours, a sinful smile began to creep up on his lips.
Fuck him.
Flustered, you turn back to the bar, dropping your head to try to hide your rising blush from Danny and the twins. You had to get out of there.
“I’m gonna run to the bathroom quick, I’ll be right back,” you explained as you shot off your barstool, knowing that the bathrooms were just past Sam. The company of three hummed in acknowledgement, already deep within a conversation about the studio session they had earlier that day.
You didn’t know why you felt this way. Sure, you hated the guy, but why was he able to get under your skin so easily? Every action he made ignited a new fire within you, every word that dripped from his plush lips was poison to your ears. And you knew it was childish, but you had to do something to not let that girl be a pawn in another one of Samuel’s selfish chess games.
You knew it was extremely childish as you approached the couple, slightly hip-checking Sam as you stormed past, causing a gasp to tumble from him as he bumped into the woman before him, causing him to spill his drink down her front. You didn’t stop to apologize even though your right mind was telling you to turn around and grovel on your hands and knees for forgiveness; no, you continued on your path to the ladies restroom, a satisfied smirk playing on your lips.
~~~~~~
You were leaning over the sink touching up your lipstick when the faint click of the lock sounded from the door. Through the reflection in the mirror, you could see Sam entering the bathroom and turning the lock before he settled his weight up against the wood, arms crossed and a purely sour look on his face.
“I believe you’re looking for the room next door, Samuel,” you started, placing the cap back on the bullet and straightening before the mirror, tousling your hair slightly. You needed to keep your hands busy; you’ve never seen him this angry and you knew you should be nervous, but you were too busy damning yourself for the heat that flooded to your face and the sudden clenching of your thighs. He was pissed. Good.
“That was a low blow, even for you.” His voice was gravelly and hoarse, any semblance of playfulness worlds away from the shitty dive bar that you two occupied. You watched Sam as he shoved off the door, stalking towards where you stood only to stop short a few feet behind, his eyes burning into your reflection. “I could’ve sworn there was a hint of jealousy in your eyes when you were admiring me from across the room.”
Your stare darkened and your jaw tensed.
“You can only be jealous of something you want, Sam, and the last thing I want to be is your conquest for the night.”
The sides of his mouth twitched in what you could’ve sworn was going to be a smile, but he masked his amusement quickly as he inched closer to you, a lion stalking its prey.
“You’re really telling me you just happened to trip and fall into me, doll?” The nickname left his lips with a condescending tilt of his head. “I’m not as stupid as you think I am.”
Having had enough, you dropped his glare, throwing your lipstick in your bag and whirling around to face him, leaning your weight slightly on the countertop behind you.
“Fine,” you relented, crossing your arms, “but it was never because I was jealous, let me make that fucking clear. It’s because you’re one of the biggest self-righteous assholes that I have ever met and I couldn’t watch you ruin yet another woman's night beyond some club soda spilled on her shirt.”
“I’m pretty sure I was about to make her whole night, Y/n, not ruin it.”
“Really?” You were certain steam was coming out of your ears at this point. “What was going to be your excuse tonight, hm? Telling these people exactly what they want to hear despite your worst intentions,” you dared a step closer to him, “deceiving them, convincing them that you want “the exact same thing” that they do, when all you want is a pretty plaything to warm your dick.” One more step closer. “Making them all trust you before you leave in the middle of the night and block their number, never to be seen again.” You were close enough to him now that you pressed your index finger to his chest as you seethed through clenched teeth, “You make me fucking sick.”
His hand wrapped around your wrist in a vise-like grip, hatred and something that looked like lust dancing in his eyes as he brought his face inches away from yours. “You could only wish that you were the pretty plaything I get to warm my dick with.”
That was the last thing you thought he’d say and it was obvious by how your jaw hung open, causing a low chuckle to rumble out of Sam’s chest. He threw your wrist down as he straightened and turned on his heel, heading for the door.
With his fingers about to turn the lock, he threw you a glance over his shoulder,
“And you’ll catch flies in your mouth with that dumb ass look on your face.”
~~~~~~
Trying to settle your racing thoughts, you stalked back to where your friends sat at the bar, seemingly far more intoxicated now than when you had left them. You laughed under your breath as you approached them, setting your bag down on the bar and reclaiming your stool.
“Daniel called Jake “Little Man” so Jake bet Daniel that he can hold his liquor better than him even though he’s shorter,” Josh leaned over to explain, a Cheshire cat grin on his face, “so now they’re in a pissing contest.”
“Oh no,” you chuckled out, rubbing your hand in small circles on Danny’s back as Jake stuck his tongue out at him, “you know Jake can drink you under the table any day.”
Danny tilted his head to blink up at you, his eyes impossibly droopy. “I had to at least try, honey,” he managed to slur out, that dopey smirk you’ve come to love so much making an appearance. “And you’ll never, EVER, succeed, you prick!” Jake shouted in his British accent as he slammed his hand down on the sticky counter, earning genuine belly laughs from the entire group and annoyed groans from the other patrons in the bar.
Josh hurriedly hopped off his stool, going to place an arm around his twin's shoulder. “And with that,” he shook Jake a little bit, “I think it’s our time to leave.” He coaxed Jake off of his stool, albeit a tad reluctantly, and closed their tab with the bartender. Josh turned to you, “I’ll get him home, do you think you can manage Daniel?”
“Yeah, do you think you can manage me?” Danny hiccupped, trying to get off his stool and stumbling a bit. “Yes, you big lug,” you wrapped your arm around his torso, making sure his own was secured around your shoulders as you tried to support his weight, “and I’ve dealt with you in far worse situations.”
He giggled as the two of you waved goodbye to the twins, Josh laughing as Jake staggered out of the front door.
“Alright,” you turned your attention back to Danny, “you ready to go? You’re gonna crash on my couch, I don’t trust you to be out of my sight.” He let out a shocked gasp, his free arm moving to clutch at his chest in faux disbelief before he blurted out, “Sammy.”
Ugh, that’s right. Where the fuck was he?
You groaned as you scanned the bar, seeing Sam tucked away in a booth nearby with a new woman, the previous one shooting daggers from her eyes at him from her spot in a booth not too far away. You still had your arm wrapped around Danny as you barked out, “Sam! We’re leaving!”
Sam looked over at you with disgust, clearly upset that you interrupted him once again before he saw Danny tucked in your grip.
“Ooooooh Sammy boy, it’s time to go hooooommeee!” Danny yelled in his best sing-song voice, and you watched in awe as Sam’s face shifted from anger and attitude to one of fondness and humor. He smiled at his friend, the admiration in his eyes shining through.
If only he could act this way with everyone.
“Okay, okay asshole, I’m coming,” Sam laughed back from his seat, dismissing himself from his companion and swaggering over to you and Danny. Without saying another word, he pulled Danny’s other arm around his shoulders, the two of you supporting the weight of the drunken curly-haired man between you.
Sam leaned forward a bit to catch your attention, “So, what's the plan?”
“I’m gonna take him to my place, get some Alka-seltzer in him before he passes out on the couch,” you explained. You appreciated that you both could drop the act for a second, more concerned about helping your mutual friend than bickering. “If you could just help me get him to my car, that’d be great.”
Sam nodded his understanding, but asked, “And are you going to be able to get him up the stairs to your apartment by yourself?” He had a good point, the stairs to your place were treacherous being that you lived on the fourth floor, the stairwell full of angled turns that you were sure you’d have to drag Daniel up.
You sighed, “Probably not, would you mind helping me?”
Danny chimed in, “I can walk up the stairs just fine, thank you very much,” trying his best to convince you both but the tripping of his feet told you everything you needed to know.
Sam smirked with a hint of fire in his eyes, intentionally ignoring Danny’s plea, “I thought you’d never ask.”
~~~~~~
“C’mon Danny, just a few more flights,” you begged, Danny dragging along like dead weight between you and Sam. Thankfully, the ride home had been bearable, Sam too focused on his friend to pay any attention to you as you drove. You were grateful for that fact, definitely less than pleased that Sam would be stepping through the threshold of your home even if it was for a good cause. The other men had been to your place plenty of times, but you had a strict rule about not letting Sam over. Didn’t want his energy in your space.
“You got this, Dan, come on buddy,” Sam chimed in with you, readjusting Danny’s arm around his shoulder, hauling him up the stairs. Finally, you made it to the landing where your front door stood, and you shimmied out from under Danny’s arm as you fumbled for your keys.
“I love you guys,” Danny mumbled out, wrapping his now-free arm around Sam and bringing him into a bear hug that had Sam laughing. You couldn’t help but chuckle too; your best friend was a sentimental drunk.
“Yeah, we love you too, you flirt,” Sam said, clapping his hand on the man's back as you unlocked the door and held it open for them to stumble through. “I’m not a flirt,” you heard Danny say, almost unintelligible as they passed you and headed over to the couch, thankfully not too far from your front door. You watched for a minute as Sam set Danny down on the cushions, then immediately crouched down in front of his friend and began untying the laces of Danny’s beat up Vans.
You remembered Danny’s words from earlier that night: “He’s way more harmless than he looks.” Maybe he was right, but it would take a whole lot more than that to convince you that Sam was a genuinely good person.
‘Would take a whole personality change, you thought as you shut and locked the front door.
“Can you get him situated? I’m gonna grab him some water and meds,” you called, already heading towards your kitchen. Sam waved you off, which you took as a ‘yes’, and left the room. As you rummaged through your cupboards, you reminded yourself of all the things you disliked about Sam; you weren’t going to let this one act of kindness get to you. Besides, you’ve witnessed some truly despicable things from him.
Plopping two antacid tablets in a cup of water, you hurried back to the living room, seeing that Danny was now horizontal on your couch, his head propped up behind a couple of decorative pillows. Sam grabbed a blanket from the basket that sat on the floor and draped it over him before sitting on the arm of the couch by Danny’s feet. Making your way over to your friend, you saw that his eyes were closed, already dozing off. You scratched his head lightly, causing his eyes to open a smidge.
“Take a couple sips of it, then you can go to sleep,” you cooed, his hand coming up to grab the cup and bringing it to his lips. “Thanks, honey,” he whispered after drinking half the glass and handing it back to you, smiling up at you as he laid his head back on the pillow. You leaned over to set the cup on the end table by Danny’s head, then moved to kneel next to the couch, running your fingers through his hair to coax him to sleep. His eyes immediately drifted shut, and soon enough his breathing evened out, faint snores coming from his slightly parted lips. You smiled to yourself, purposefully forgetting that the man you despised sat no more than 10 feet away from you, watching silently as you took care of his friend. Sleep wasn’t too far off for you, either, and you desperately needed to get out of your clothes and into something comfy, but before you could get up, Sam cleared his throat, reminding you of his presence.
“I’m gonna stay with him for a little while longer, if that’s okay with you,” he said softly, not a hint of the usual arrogance in his tone. You blinked at him, a little stunned by the kindness of the gesture and the gentleness of his words. “Oh come on, Y/n, I know I’m a dick but I’m not that heartless.”
And there’s the asshole I know.
You stood, stretching a bit before landing your eyes on him again. “You can do whatever you want, I’m gonna go get ready for bed. You can let yourself out when you’re ready.” Not bothering to wait for an answer, you turned on your heel and started towards your bedroom; you weren’t too interested in what he had to say anyways.
To your dismay, sleep completely evaded you the second your head hit the pillow. Teeth brushed, face washed and in a big, comfy t-shirt, you tossed and turned in your bed, finally deciding to turn back on your salt lamp. Josh had told you once or twice that it’s better to get up and do something if you can’t sleep rather than just stare at the ceiling, so you decided to heed his advice.
You checked the time on your phone; it had been an hour or so since you left the boys in your living room. You knew Danny would sleep through the night no problem, and you could have sworn that you heard the front door slam a half hour ago, signifying Sam’s departure.
You locked your phone and put it back on your nightstand.
Sam.
You flipped on your back and huffed out a sigh; you couldn’t believe that he had been in your apartment. Reliving the events from the night, your blood began to heat again, remembering just how infuriating he had been at the bar. How rude he had been to those women. How hot you had found it that he locked the both of you in the bathroom, and how your thighs clenched when he grabbed your wrist.
How could you be this attracted to a man you despised? It made your anger grow tenfold, trying desperately to convince yourself that he did not have this effect on you, that you were simply tired and touch-deprived and that was the reason why your mind was stooping so low. But the more that you thought about him from the sanctuary of your bed, the needier you became. It was just physical attraction, right? There’s nothing wrong with that, you repeated in your mind, knowing damn well that you were going to beat yourself up in the morning for what you were about to do.
Alright Josh, I’ll do something, you thought as you opened the drawer on your nightstand, grabbing your vibrator that kept you company on nights like these.
Back bowing off the mattress, you held your breath as your eyes screwed shut, your release just out of arm's reach. Thoughts of Sam swirled in your mind's eye, imagining the way his guitar fingers would feel pressed into the canvas of your skin, the song your name would sound like when it dripped from his lips. Your orgasm was speeding towards you, the wave cresting and about to crash, when the sound of your bedroom door shutting snapped you back to reality.
Your eyes shot open as you bolted straight up, your vibrator still buzzing away beneath the bed sheets.
“Please, don’t stop on my behalf.”
Sam stood with his back pressed against your door, a mirror image of his actions from earlier. Arms crossed, a devilish smirk on his face that you wish you could smack right off. And you would get up to do it if only you were wearing pants.
“GET OUT!” You hissed, your vision blurry with rage as you chucked your pillow at him with little thought. He side-stepped it easily, not paying the plush fabric any mind.
“In my defense, I knocked,” his head tilted up so he could look down his nose at you, “twice. Seems like you were too preoccupied to hear me.”
“Sam, I told you to get out! Why are you still here, anyways?” You fumbled for your vibrator under the sheets, finally switching it off, shrouding your room in silence.
“Well,” he shoved off the door, eyes still glued to you, “I was coming to ask you if there was a pot or bowl or something I could set next to Dan in case he needed to throw up.” He made it to the foot of your bed, looking down at your exposed leg that was visible from beneath your blankets and slowly trailed his gaze to your beet-red face.
You pulled the blankets so your bottom half was completely covered, “There are things underneath the kitchen island, okay? Just please, for the love of god, get out of my fucking room!” You yelled at him; you desperately needed him to leave so you could focus on your breathing and not on the wetness collecting on the insides of your thighs.
But Sam clearly had other plans as he sat at the foot of your bed, not bothering to say a word for what felt like ages.
“Bet I could do a better job than that bit of plastic.”
What? Were you hearing him correctly?
Your eyebrows shot up as you tried to find words, but his statement had shocked your brain into malfunction.
“I’m just saying,” he glanced at the lump underneath the blankets next to you, to the toy that hid beneath, “I’m right here. And I could do a better job.”
“Are you fucking serious right now, Sam?”
His smirk dropped and was replaced by a sternness that you’ve never seen from him as he leaned ever so slightly closer to you.
“That depends, are you considering it?”
“No way, I fucking hate you!” You tried to whip your other pillow at him but he caught it effortlessly, holding your stare with an eyebrow raised.
Of course you were considering it, you had been seconds away from your own release that was brought on by lewd thoughts of him, and now that he sat at the edge of your bed, looking positively sinful… How could you not consider?
“Likewise, but I’ve seen the way you look at me. You think I don’t notice, but I do.” The smirk came back. That stupid, gut-wrenching smirk. “And I think I’ve made myself clear about what I think of you.”
“And what do you think of me, Samuel?” That piqued your interest, subconsciously mirroring his actions and leaning your body closer to his.
His voice was a low rumble in his chest as his gaze flickered between your eyes and your lips.
“I think you’re a brat, you’re entitled.” Suddenly, he was shifting his position, climbing onto your bed on his hands and knees.
“You have a big mouth.”
He moved closer to you.
“You ruin my fun.”
Closer still.
“I can’t fucking stand that you’re close with my brothers.”
Closer.
“I fucking despise being around you,”
His arms encased your legs on either side of them, his head mere inches away from yours, and just barely a whisper, he breathed,
“And yet I dream of all the pretty noises I could coax out of you while you’re in my bed.” He glanced down at his hands and grabbed the sheets, “Or your bed, apparently.”
“You talk a big game as if you didn’t just say you think about fucking me,” you said lowly, thankfully your voice steadier than how you truly felt. “I can see it in your eyes when you're spouting your stupid shit to me, even before you admitted it.”
Sitting up further on the bed, you pressed your back against your headboard, having more room now that your pillows were scattered remains on the floor. Your confidence swelled; the man you hated had just revealed that he dreamt of having you, taking you, and you weren’t going to let that bit of information go to waste.
“You know what I think, Sam? I think there’s a different reason why you can’t keep a girl longer than one night,” you mused, crossing your arms and feigning disinterest.
“And what would that be, doll?”
It was your turn to look down your nose at him, causing that wicked grin to crawl upon his features.
“You’re a little attention whore. You want these girls to want you, and once they do, you get bored. Such a fucking asshole. You want them to think about you, to get all hot and bothered by you, and you toy with their hearts cause you truly don’t want any of them, do you?”
Sam was back hovering over you in an instant, one of his hands gripping your cheeks so your lips puckered slightly, his eyes searing into your soul as your own were blown wide.
“Tell me what I want.”
You tilted your chin up a little more, your nose nearly brushing his as you fixed your stare; it was your turn for a devilish smile.
“You’ve always wanted me, haven’t you?”
His hand left your cheek in favor of caressing your jawline, his slender fingers pausing underneath your chin as he brought his face ever closer to yours as you asked, “Do you wanna fuck me?”
Genuine amusement shown on his features for a split second before he regained his composure, humor still dancing in the chocolate of his eyes,
“I really want to, doll, but you know that.” His thumb brushed against your lips; the gentleness that would pop up here and there was still surprising you, being as it wasn’t something you were used to. Maybe if you had paid more attention to him you would have picked up on it, but you were never interested in getting to know him more than the bare minimum. Maybe until now… “Do you want to?”
Was this really happening? You knew you wanted him, needed him, badly, but what would happen tomorrow? A week from now when you inevitably would see him at the bar? Oh god, and Danny was still asleep on your couch not too far away…
“Yes.”
“Yes, what?” He whispered.
“Yes, I want you to fuck me, Sam.”
His face darkened nearly instantaneously, the leash on his composure snapping. The light hand underneath your chin traveled quickly to your throat, and you felt his calloused fingers squeeze the sides of your neck as he breathed into your ear,
“Yellow, we slow down and talk. Red, we stop altogether.” You sucked a sharp inhale through your nose; you couldn’t believe how excited you were. “Or tap me three times, I’ll know what it means.”
He didn’t have to look down at your body to feel you squirming in place, for he knew exactly what he was doing to you. And when you felt his lips curl into a smile against the shell of your ear, the leash holding you back snapped as well.
“Green.”
That was all he needed. Before you knew it, Sam had let go of your throat with a hint of force, hopping up to yank you to the foot of the bed by your ankles, bringing you to lay flat on your mattress. He rolled his eyes as a faint gasp escaped you, every movement he made shocked you slightly. Straightening to his full height, he began removing his clothes, and you propped yourself up on your elbows to watch his display; you’ve never even seen him shirtless before.
The outfit he wore tonight was one of your favorites- a pair of black slacks that fit him a little too tightly, not that you were complaining, and a cream colored corduroy button up, buttoned only at his navel, a page out of his older brother's book. A small, navy crystal in the shape of a triangle hung as a pendant around his neck. Simple, but elegant. You could see he was unbelievably hard already, straining in the confines of his pants, and secretly you knew he was getting off on watching you watch him, only further confirming his need and love for attention.
He forwent unbuttoning the rest of his shirt and pulled it over his head in one swift motion, revealing his slim, tanned torso. It felt nice to have an excuse to marvel at his beauty, to take a moment to really look at him without any malcontent.
“Like what you see, princess?”
Nevermind.
You flopped back down on the bed, causing your t-shirt to hike up a little higher. The blankets and sheets were still hiding you from him so he couldn’t see your exposed skin, but you were growing impatient, ready to throw them off of you. Ready to pull Sam on top of you. The mental notes you had taken suggested that if you pushed the right buttons, he’d easily give you what you wanted.
“You ruin everything when you speak, Samuel,” you sighed, doing your best to look disappointed.
His eyebrows shot up as he tied his hair back in a low bun; the feral look in his eyes told you that he wasn’t going to tolerate much more.
Good.
Ripping the blankets off of your body, he threw them to the floor. The cool air in your bedroom lapped at your bare legs, sending a kiss straight to your core. And then he was pinning your legs open with both of his knees, his hands planted on either side of your head, bits of hair already falling from his bun and curtaining your vision.
“You’re such a fucking tease, princess.” He dipped his chin to his chest to assess the mess that had already gathered at the apex of your thighs. “And you’re already so wet for me.”
“Don’t flatter yourself, did you forget-”
“Forget about this?” He reached across your mattress to grab your vibrator, cold and lonely. “How could I?”
The teasing was becoming unbearable and you debated whether you should just toss him out of your room and get back to your night with your trusty toy.
“Can you either shut up or put your mouth to good use?” You huffed.
A saccharine smile as he bent closer, a promise of a kiss as he whispered, “I intend to take my time with you, to make you scream and wake poor Daniel up.”
He was about to capture your lips with his and as much as you wish he would, your annoyance was still at the forefront of your mind. Since both of your hands were free, you used one to clamp over his mouth, his eyes shooting open in surprise.
“Ah ah ah,” you tutted, “I don’t think you’ve earned that privilege.” You turned on your best set of doe eyes as you cooed, “Find another use for your mouth.”
Sam playfully nipped at the palm of your hand before rising on his knees, stretching your legs even further, a look of pure wonder as he observed you spread out for him. He dropped your toy in favor of using his hands to roam over your body, tugging at the hem of your shirt that was now bunched up on your hips. You helped him pull it over your head, and once his hands were free of the fabric, they were sweeping over your skin anywhere he could touch; swiping his thumbs on the smooth skin underneath your breasts, running his fingers over your ribs and down the sides of your waist, until they landed on on the divots where your hips met your thighs. And he stole the air out of your lungs as he breathed to himself, “Stunning.”
But he moved on quickly, moving to lay flat on his stomach in between your legs, picking up your vibrator in his left hand. Catching your stare as he lowered his mouth to where you needed him most, he shot you a wink before diving into your cunt, sending a long stripe from his tongue from your entrance up to your clit. It all happened so quickly, and you gasped as your head shot back onto the mattress, hands flying to the silky roots of his hair.
He hummed against you immediately, causing delicious vibrations to shoot straight through your system. Stars were illuminating the backs of your eyelids as he devoured you with a fervor no partner has ever rivaled, and you silently cursed him, knowing that you would unfortunately be craving this night after night.
The pleasure was short lived, however, as he withdrew his lips that were attached to your clit. You lifted your head up and shot him a look of utter annoyance, only to then hear the faint buzzing of your vibrator.
“Didn’t you say you could do a better job than that thing?”
“Yes, and I am,” he smirked, using his free hand to trace your entrance and gather your slick on his fingers. He held them up to show you, “I just thought since you wanted to cum so badly with it, I’d have to make you.”
Your groan of distaste quickly turned more guttural as he pressed the silicone directly on your throbbing clit. A dark chuckle rang out through your room as he watched you begin to writhe on the mattress, your hands gripping the sheets as if your life depended on it. There was no build up; he had turned your toy to its highest setting and pressed it against you with enough pressure to send you into oblivion. Your moans continued to grow louder, your orgasm nearer to you than you had estimated.
The fingers on his free hand began dancing around your dripping entrance, and you forced your eyes open to watch as he slid two fingers inside you, curling them to the perfect angle that caused his name to tumble past your lips.
“Shhh…” he started condescendingly, “What would Daniel think? Hearing you be such a fucking whore for me.” You whimpered, trying to quiet yourself and prolong the inevitable release that would soon crash into you. “What is it he always calls you?” His tone was mocking, his eyes blown with lust and his mouth slightly agape. Until he snapped his eyes to yours, “Honey?”
“D-don’t,” you whined, but your body betrayed you as you clenched around his fingers.
“Oh, you just love it when he calls you that, don’t you? I can’t wait to tell him what it does to you.” His fingers sped up their pace as your thighs began to tremble, your walls fluttering around him. “C’mon, give it up, honey, I know you’re there.”
Your back bowed off the mattress for the second time tonight, eyes screwing shut as the ball of tension in your stomach finally snapped and you were clamping around his fingers, vibrator still buzzing away with all its might.
“That’s it, princess, cum for me,” he cooed, slowing his fingers but not taking the toy away as he watched in awe while you rode out your orgasm, twisting and turning on the mattress beneath him.
It wasn’t long before overstimulation had you in its grasp, and you grabbed his wrist with more force than you thought you had in you, silently begging him to let up. He looked at you, batting his eyelashes, and you prepared yourself for more nonsense to fall from his lips.
“I thought you wanted to cum so badly?”
“Sam, please,” you admitted defeat, “I can’t do another.” Steadying yourself with deep breaths through your nose, pleading with your eyes for him to show you mercy.
But your jaw dropped as he genuinely laughed at you, a malicious sounding noise filling the space.
“Told you you’d catch flies with that dumb ass look on your face.” He finally withdrew both the toy from your oversensitive clit and his fingers from inside you, bringing the digits to your open mouth and placing them on your tongue. You hollowed out your cheeks instantly, tasting yourself and humming around his fingers.
“Who knew that such a brat would end up being so good for me.”
That wasn’t going to slide, and he knew he made a mistake when he caught the mischievous glint in your eyes mere moments before you bit down on his fingers. However, your plan backfired, and before you knew it, the same hand was wrapped around your throat again, anger written plainly on his face.
“I’m getting real fucking sick of your attitude, Y/n. You should be on your knees thanking me that I let you cum.” Your eyes narrowed, his words causing your own annoyance to ignite once again. “Actually, that’s what you’re going to do. Hands and knees.”
He released his iron grip and yanked you up to a sitting position, but all you could bring yourself to do was cross your arms.
“Let me? You’re the one who barged into my room and ruined everything.”
“On your hands and knees, now.”
Oh, this was too much fun. And you let him know so with a smirk curling on your lips.
“Make me.”
His arms were around you in an instant, hauling you up and effectively flipping you onto your stomach with a slight bounce off the mattress. Your hair caught around your eyes and in your mouth at how swift the motion was, and felt his hands wrap around your belly and lift up, forcing you to hold your weight with your hands and knees. Your own curiosity had you biting back your witty retort; you were intrigued to know if he would hold onto this dominant streak.
His weight left the mattress as you huffed in exasperation, trying to pretend you were growing bored even though you were anything but. And when you heard the faint unzipping of his pants, you couldn’t help but crane your neck over to where he was, catching him just in time to watch him free his length from his briefs and kick off his pants. Fuck, he was positively huge, and of course every single part of him was beautiful.
He vanished from your vision quickly and you felt him kneel behind you, causing your heart rate to quicken. However, he didn’t move to touch you.
“I’m growing tired, Samuel,” you pretended to yawn, “if you don’t hurry up and fuck me, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave-”
His fist was in your hair immediately, pulling you up so your back was flush with his chest.
“For the sake of both of us,” he hissed into your ear, “I suggest you drop the act, princess.”
Your world was spinning as he threw you back onto the mattress, one of his large hands splaying across your back and pushing you even further into it, causing your ass to rise in the air.
“You’re going to take what I give you.” A gasp left your lungs as his free hand landed a sharp smack against the side of your thigh, “And you’re going to be fucking grateful for it.” Another harsh smack, this one directly on the flesh of your ass.
“If you think for a second,” smack, “about spouting your bullshit,” smack, “I’ll make sure you regret it.” He began running his hand over the red, swollen skin, soothing the bruises that were sure to make their appearance tomorrow.
“Color?” Softness returned to his voice, the calluses on his fingertips lightly moving to trace your shoulder blades.
“Green,” you gritted out, “green, you fucking asshole, keep going.”
The dominance switched back in an instant, his hands flying to your ass cheeks and spreading you wide open. The display had you clenching around nothing, ever eager for him to finally fill you up.
“How sweet,” he cooed, gripping his cock and running the tip through your folds, gathering up your wetness and smearing it along his length, “she’s blowing me kisses.”
The words you were about to let fly caught in your throat as he slowly pushed into you, stretching you in a delicious way that your body had never felt before. The two of you groaned in tandem; you could feel him pulsating as he bottomed out, stilling for a moment to let you get used to his size. You hated to admit it, but it felt like he was made for you; no one had fit so perfectly inside you.
“Fuck, Y/n, you feel incredible.” His harsh attitude was faltering, you could tell, as he leaned forward to brush your hair out of your eyes, your head turned to the side with your cheek against the mattress. You would’ve found it endearing, if it were anyone but him, and you let him know that fact with a look of annoyance from out of your peripheral.
“Move, you bastard.” Once again, playing the game to get what you want. And with a hand pressing the side of your face into the mattress, he started on a gruelingly harsh pace that had moans tumbling from your mouth with reckless abandon.
The sound of skin slapping against itself filled the room, accompanied by Sam’s filthy words and your pathetic moans. He was drilling into you with every ounce of power in his body, and you imagined how heavenly he must look with sweat dripping down his chest and his eyebrows knitted together. You would’ve turned to look back at him had your eyes not been rolled back into your skull, your groans and pleas becoming an endless mantra that only spurred him on further.
Finally, he enveloped both of your wrists within a hand, tugging you upwards so that your back was sticking against his chest, the new angle causing you to yelp out a curse of his name. Your head lulled back onto his shoulder, and he took the opportunity to nip at your ear as he continued his murderous pace.
“Look at you,” he panted into your ear, “you’re cock drunk on me already.” He groaned as you twisted your hands free, snaking them back into his drenched hair. You could tell he was getting close to his release, his thrusts beginning to falter ever so slightly, and that thought had you clenching down around him, ready to drain him of everything he was worth.
“Shit, honey, if you keep doing that, I won’t last much longer,” he whined, trailing a hand down your front and settling to rub fast circles around your clit.
“Don’t-” you gasped, trying to get your words out, “don’t call me honey.”
He huffed a breath in your ear, “I think we’re well past that-” His circles quickened, your thighs beginning to shake as you could see your own orgasm on the horizon.
You needed to spur him on one last time. You needed him to continue his pace. You needed to get in one more jab before you both reached your end. And by some miracle, you found your voice.
“Fuck, Sam! God, I fucking hate you-”
His hips bucked and he let out the most obscene moan you had heard from him all night, one that would forever be cemented in your brain. “Fuck, say that again, Y/n,” he breathed, pushing you back against the mattress so he had more leverage to pound into you, fingers still working your clit.
Your eyes screwed shut as you gripped the sheets, the leash on your release about to snap.
“I-” His hand landed another sharp slap against your ass, causing you to gasp and clamp down hard on his cock, the words dying on your tongue.
“Please, say it again, I’m so fucking close.”
“Sam,” you whined, “I’m gonna cum, please keep going.”
“Say it,” he seethed, his pace not relenting even though you could hear him panting.
Tears were brimming in your eyes, and you could feel them spill over as you choked out,
“I fucking hate you.”
You could feel him swelling inside you, his breathing turning into pitchy moans.
“Where can I-”
“Inside, do it.”
That was the last bit of convincing he needed before he bent over you, sheathing himself even further as he spilled inside of you, a string of curses mixing in with praises of your name. Hearing your name fall so freely and adoringly from his lips caused your own orgasm to finally crash into you, turning your vision white and your ears to ring. You could faintly hear him hiss as you clenched and fluttered around his sensitive cock, but your body and mind were floating, skin prickling and tingling as he rode you through your high.
Hands massaging your shoulders kept you tethered to the earth, bringing you back into your mind as you began to settle, your chest heaving and your throat a bit hoarse from the volume of your moans.
“Come back to me princess, come on,” he wiped your brow, coaxing your eyes to flutter open. Once he saw that you were present in your body, he withdrew from you, causing you both to shudder and wince.
After a few long minutes of catching your breath, he stood, rummaging through the pile of clothes, pillows, and blankets that were strewn across the floor. Plucking up your sleep shirt you had been wearing not too long ago, he brought it over to you, kneeling on the bed to wipe up your mixed releases that had begun to collect on your thighs and bed sheets.
You hissed through your teeth; you were a lot more sensitive than you had thought you’d be, surely going to be sore in the morning.
“You really had to use my shirt for this? I have towels in the bathroom.”
He smiled to himself, an action he didn’t think you would catch as you watched him clean you up.
“Glad to see your attitude hasn’t changed.”
Once he was satisfied with his work, he shoved off the bed, chucking the shirt back onto the floor and grabbing his clothes, beginning to dress himself.
“Plus,” he started as he buttoned his pants, glancing at you with that nonchalance you hated, “now you have something to remember me by.”
You scoffed, not bothering to get into it with him in favor of watching him pull his shirt back over his head, ridding his hair of the tie that bound it. You were waiting for the self-loathing to set in; waiting for the guilt of giving in to your desires, but you felt none of it. Instead, you felt a tad grateful, in some messed up way, that he had caught you in the act tonight because it caused the two of you to release an arsenal of pent up emotions you harbored for each other.
Once he was dressed, he strode over to the bed and knelt down on the floor, choosing to smooth out your hair and trail his fingers down your spine. You hummed in approval, the slight massage lulling you closer and closer to sleep. His eyes shone with a new emotion; you couldn’t detect the same distaste that always was dancing within them when he looked at you. There was lust there, and a certain seriousness that you didn’t recognize, but you welcomed it.
He surprised you for one last time as he bent down and placed a gentle kiss to your cheek, smoothing the skin with his thumb after he pulled away. You couldn’t help but smile up at him as he straightened to his full height.
“That certainly didn’t feel like you hate me, Samuel,” you called as you watched him make his way to your bedroom door, somewhat eager for him to leave so you could finally get to sleep.
“Well,” he breathed, sending a smirk over his shoulder as he turned the handle, “imagine being loved by me.”
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Jake Kiszka x Narrator & Sam Kiszka x OC.
Chapter Two
Summary: The Jones Family are new additions to the sleepy community of Beech Run. A tight knit scattering of rural houses, where everyone knows everyone. Deeply religious and overbearingly strict, the daughters of the family are kept under lock & key by a fanatical Father and submissive Mother. They watch from bedroom windows as their neighbours, The Kiszkas, draw intense curiosity and desire to be free. Madness of youth , hope & obsession collide to bring the danger of forbidden love to poetic ends. (Era A/U)
A/N: This chapter is particularly seeped in religious doubt. There's sexual activity in church. Spanking and cock warming and talk of it being a punishment from God. If you are particularly religious or have any trauma regarding this I urge you not to read. These views are the views of a character I have created and do not directly display the views of the writer.
Warnings:Religious trauma. Parental trauma. Intense emotions including desire, obsession, grief and yearning.Loss of virginity.Explicit sexual activity.Heavy praise kink.Severe edging.Oral sex m/f.Fingering.Masturbation.Dirty filth talk.
Summer 1984
I would have taken a thousand punishments in the wake of the memory of that hazy afternoon. Surrounded by tall grass and the sound of crickets on the breeze. Jake, and his exploration of my body, like a dream that I'd yet to wake from. Still frames in my mind, of his mouth and his eyes and his voice. I could still smell his flesh long after I parted from him. Consumed by it even as I stood at the foot of the stairs, beyond the hour of our curfew. My fate already sealed.
Jolene was unrepentant. The flush of her cheeks and the ravaging of her hair telling a story that she would never utter in words. I knew better than to ask. But when she'd appeared, breathless and without remorse, I knew that Sam Kiszka had been gifted with her heart, and perhaps more.
I don't think either of us came away from that afternoon exactly as we'd arrived. If innocence was the price paid, I felt a little richer for what I'd received in return. Perhaps a bird with clipped wings losing it's feathers, only to find that beneath there was an even greater bird just waiting to fly. That was how I imagined myself. On the verge of taking flight.
"Explain to me, boy."
Dad was standing in the hall, formidable and with a rage simmering away beneath a steady gaze. I'd only ever seen him this vexed once before, during a time when he'd been forced to reconsider the limits of his power over our brother. I thought, perhaps, that Ben would take his moment to exert his mounting power. But he wasn't the alpha, not yet.
"Car trouble, Dad." He replied nonchalantly, throwing his jacket on the bannister. "We're only a half hour late."
He would lie for us, but only to better serve his own needs. If he wanted to take Harriet Dinsmore out again and use the car, he'd have to pretend that nothing nefarious had happened out there while he was meant to be our escort.
"Don't you lie to me, boy!"
The way he spat the words out made me flinch. Instinctively reaching for Jolene's hand. The two of us ravaged and ruined by those boys, softly acknowledging that flower petals had been plucked in those fields. And we would take whatever punishment would accompany it.
"I had a phone call from Mrs. Dinsmore. Thanking me for my son getting Harriet home at a reasonable hour." He said, meeting his son at eye level. "And then she also happened to mention that young Lewis had been glad to see my girls down at the creek today."
I sensed the fear in Ben's eyes. The boy he once was never too far away. Bolstered by his freedom and the reluctance to lose it, he backed down immediately. And my lungs deflated.
"I left them in town, I swear." He pleaded, "I didn't know they went to the creek. I swear, Dad!"
It was pitiful. The way his cheek was turned as our Father struck it. That painful retrospect of what he could or should have said playing over and over in his mind as he looked directly at us. As if somehow Jolene and I had caused this. As if he didn't understand quite fully how free will worked just yet, and he'd had a choice. He could have told the truth.
"I'll deal with you later."
There was a look of reproach as Ben stormed up the stairs, clutching his cheek in a shame that was yet to properly manifest itself. He'd treat us like ghosts for the rest of the summer, but we truly didn't mind.
I was sad to see him go, still. Without the focus on Ben it meant that it was my turn to feel my Father's wrath. A wrath that he truly believed was descended from God himself. Sometimes I wondered if the truly believed that, or if it was a diocese of lies he told himself in order to sleep at night as the tyrant he truly was.
"I expected better from you." He said, standing with his finger extended at me. "I expect my daughters to uphold the values of this house and the church we embody. Not go against my word at the first opportunity."
He cast his eye towards Jolene, who would stand firm. She'd finally experienced something worth holding on to. Something she would protect, even in the face of God's wrath; which seemed to always wear our Fathers face.
"Dad, we're sorry." I apologised, although the validity of it felt like a sin within itself. "We had every intention to go into town with Ben. It was awful hot though, and we just wanted to cool off by the water. We didn't know that there would be others down there. Promise."
There were flecks of spit in the corners of his mouth as he leaned in. A tremble of his lip as he tried to keep his tongue in check. I could see my Mother lingering in the kitchen door way, like a shadow that bore no use without the shade she dwelled in. Both of them prisoners to their own demeanours. I hoped that there'd been a time, once, where they'd known how it felt to lay down and feel what I had felt that afternoon.
"Proverbs 19:9 - A false witness shall be punished, and a liar shall be caught." He quoted, as he often did, when he needed witness to his tyranny. "And I'll not have liars for children."
I didn't feel much like a child. And he would see me punished like the young woman I was becoming. Yanking me away from my sister, digging venom into my flesh with fingertips that intended to bruise me.
"You'll go to the church. And you'll pray on it until the sun comes up. And if I don't find you on your knees, you'll stay there until supper tomorrow."
Jolene knew better than to protest. Her hands flew to her mouth as he handled me out of the door and out towards the car. Her silent pleas for him to let me go left on the tip of her tongue. I wouldn't struggle. And she knew that I would go to my punishment as willingly as she would go to hers. And somehow, we knew, that we'd meet in the aftermath.
I was grateful for the sweet coolness of the church floor. The ebb and flow of a breeze that in the shade was a welcome respite from the summer heat. My knees were bent, pressed into the red velvet tuffet as I rested my elbows on the solid wooden edge of the kneeler bench. Genuflecting to the lord with my fingers entwined and a solemn knot in my stomach.
That was where he found me. Alone in my retribution. The gentle click of the church door alerting me to his presence, although I didn't turn and look. I allowed the echo of his footsteps to guide him towards me, my eyes burning into the effigy of Jesus Christ on the cross. My knuckles white, palms growing steadily more sweaty.
In the candle light it appeared as if Jesus was smiling at me. And I wondered if it were a cruel trick to lull me into thinking that I was absolved. The devil painted such a beautiful picture in my mind, and he arrived just when I thought I could be saved.
"I followed you." He said, his voice echoing against the rafters. "I didn't think he was going to leave you here, though."
He would know me in my anguish. I dared to turn my head a little, greeting him with a soft apology for the state in which he'd found me in.
"You should leave, Jake." I whispered, afraid that if my voice carried any higher God himself would hear.
He was wearing the same shorts, sunburnt shoulders now covered by a light blue shirt. Half of his hair tied back, the rest tumbling down against his neck. As I swallowed, I realised my mouth was unflinchingly dry. The sight of him an unholy memory of what he had done to me mere hours ago.
"I'm not leaving this church until you do." He assured me, slumping down onto the dusty floor, his back against the kneeler. He propped his forearms up on bent knees and sighed heavily. He didn't ask me to stop praying. He just...sat there.
"You'll be here until dawn." I warned him.
"So be it." He replied, without hesitation. "If I'm the cause of your punishment, I'll be the remedy too."
I didn't quite know what he meant. I didn't dare ask him to explain. The darkness was drawing ever closer and the temperature was dropping. The candles flickered in the encroaching draft, and my knees began to give way. The warmth of the afternoon felt like a fever dream. And he could feel the way my body began to tremble against the enormity of it all.
"Here." He offered, rising to press himself against my back, "Lean against me."
He took a little of my weight, but still didn't make me stop my prayers. He was like scaffolding around me, holding me up as I tried to right the perceived wrong I had done. His body still felt warm and tender against mine, his breath exhaling on the line of my jaw. His chest against me, arms tucked around my waist. I felt completely detached from the divine. As if my soul wanted nothing more than to dwell with Jake.
"We didn't do anything wrong today, Bonnie. You know that, right?"
I wasn't a moral compass on what was right and what was wrong. All I knew was that I'd done something which merited the endurance of midnight prayer. I couldn't speak to it, the softness within which I recalled the heat of the afternoon. It had me tongue tied as I tried to speak to God and beg for his forgiveness for such wretched wickedness. The wickedness of pleasure.
But God didn't speak to me that night. The only voice I could hear was Jakes.
"Do you want to be punished?" He asked, "For what we did?"
His question caught me off balance. My breath caught a little and a tiny, almost indiscernible gasp escaped my lips. This involuntary move made him hold me a little closer, a little tighter. Pulling my body up and more earnestly against him.
"God see's everything." I replied, trying to breathe against his palms that were flat to my sternum. "I'll be punished regardless."
He breathed an amused little sigh into my ear.
"If God see's everything, he's an immoral voyeur who knows that the flesh he created cries out for touch." He explained, taking the liberty of wrapping his fist around the hem of my dress. "Don't you think what we did down by the creek was a gift from God?"
When I thought about it like that, like it was God's hand guiding me into sin, I didn't want to believe in him anymore. And not because the God I'd been raised to fear might have been a foolish idea created by men who desired control over others, but because there seemed to be no God that could ever satisfy me.
"What are you saying?" I asked, keeping still as he pulled my dress up, revealing my underwear to the altar.
"Puppets. All of us. Moving around by the command of one puppeteer." He continued, his voice low and commanding. "All seems a little... inconceivable. Doesn't it?"
I was powerless to stop it. The thrum of blood beating in my core. The way it seemed that every muscle and sinew in my body seemed weak against his strength.
"All these moving parts, tethered by invisible strings to a hand nobody can see." He preached now, tucking the back of my dress into my bra strap, viciously pulling down my panties until I was fully exposed where I knelt. "You could kneel at this altar for hours in penance and feel nothing. Or you could let me help you feel something."
"You blaspheme." I whispered, closing my eyes as he slipped a righteous palm down the curve of my ass.
"You blaspheme!" He growled, "Against yourself, against your body...against me."
Perhaps I did. Fear was the definition of every corner I'd ever turned. Fear of God. Fear of my Father. Fear of wanting something I knew neither of those things would ever allow. It all seemed trivial though, somehow, when Jake ran such careful hands over me. When I could feel his body responding to mine. Heavenly, almost.
"Proceed, then." I allowed, fingertips digging into the bench. "If you're here to make me feel something. Go ahead."
If Jake was here, perhaps he was sent by God to instruct my punishment? Or maybe it was all just a bunch of nonsense. Maybe he was here because he wanted to be? Maybe all of this was just fuelled by nothing more than two people who wanted this?
I could feel the trembling in his body as he prepared himself. My underwear languished at my knees, my dress pulled up so that my entire lower body was on display. I remained in my kneeling position as he pulled himself back, taking a deep breath.
"Do you want to be punished, Bonnie?" He asked again.
"There is no God, is there?" I almost sobbed. "Only us?"
"Have faith in me." He replied so softly, his hand slowly riding down my thigh. "I'll never worship anything but you, Bonnie. I swear it."
I'd never forget that night in the church. The way my fear in God died and in it's place was planted a new found obsession for pleasures I'd been repeatedly denied.
Jake was nothing if not gentle with me. The soft rise and fall of his hand as it skimmed the inside of my legs, parting them a little where I knelt. His arm was pressed against my collar bone, keeping me steady when I might weaken. His subtle whispers were for me, not even God was privy to them as he spoke directly into the shell of my ear.
And then I knew his purpose. The slow roll of my body as he leaned it forward. The sharp recoil of his previously gentle palm as it reeled back. And the bitter sting of it as it connected with my flesh. The sound echoing around the church walls. And my silent scream ringing out into the far reaches of my mind, unable to flow out of my mouth as I bit down heavily on my lower lip.
Jakes hand lingered on my ass. Squeezing it as he centred himself. The very act he'd just performed seemed to draw such high levels of arousal that his breath seemed to cease for a moment. His mouth resting breathlessly against my shoulder as he pulled back once more. This time the connection was even more unyielding. And he moaned, digging fingertips into my tissue where I knew it would bruise.
Each time he spanked me I could feel myself drawing closer to something divine. Not God, not a deity I could believe in. The tears of it dripped down my inner thigh and rolled down my leg into the fabric at my knees. This was something else. Something only Jake could give me. My senses were entirely heightened. The sound of it against church rafters. The sting of it on my reddened skin. The pain of each squeeze as he revelled in it, and the way he seemed to go deeper into an arousal he could only speak of in feral groans with each snap.
"Your silence wont make a difference." He said, noticing the droplets between my legs for the first time. "Your body speaks where your voice will not."
I was still learning. "Once more." I urged.
I needed it. Whatever this feeling was. I craved it. The way his reactions made me wetter and wetter. The way his ministrations made it unbearable for him. The way I knew it was because of me that he damn near sank his teeth into the flesh at the base of my neck. Fighting for his life as he breathed harder. Kneading my ass cheek, rolling his palm over the heat.
"Tell me how much you need it." He begged, "Tell me how much you need my palm across your sweet little ass."
I began to think, perhaps, that he needed it more than I.
"Is it wrong how badly I need it?" I dared to ask, my voice quiet and small.
"No." He breathed. "You don't have to be pure if you don't want to be."
He did it again. Harder. With more vicious intent. The sensation of it sending ripples through my flesh and down into the folds of my beating pussy. That time I couldn't hold myself together. Whimpering so wretchedly that the candle flames danced in my breath.
"Again." I beseeched.
He didn't preach to me again that night. He pummelled his hand over my ass repeatedly until I gushed a river. My cries finally finding their voice. Ascending like a choir into the bell tower. With each switch of his wrist he grew more insatiable. And it seemed that he couldn't bear it any longer once he was done with me. Almost as if all it would take would be one more strike to make him ravage me.
He was exhausted by the time he hastily pulled up my panties. Ruffling down my dress, making it appear as if he'd never touched me at all. Nuzzling against my neck, his nose pressed against my jaw. Trying to swallow and breathe, like he'd lost all control. And despite the drop in the temperature, his brow was covered in a sheen of sweat.
I fell helplessly into his arms. My legs buckled under the weight of what we'd done. And he held me tenderly. The hand which had executed my desired punishment now brushing back my hair and lovingly stroking across my temple. I didn't reach orgasm, neither did he. But there was this strange comforting feeling I knew we both shared that something had inexplicably changed there in the church that night.
Once we had both calmed, we found ourselves tangled in a sweet embrace as we sat on the cool church floor. He coiled a light touch beneath my chin, cupping it in the curve of his index finger as he tilted my head up to meet his gaze. And he kissed me with all the uncontrollable arousal he'd supressed. His tongue explored mine. His gentle lips soft like pillows, opening and closing at slow intervals to allow his tongue to retract. Pulling back just enough to look into my eyes as daylight began to turn the black night into a pale blue hue.
"Why don't you ever stand up to him, your Dad?" He asked, playing absently with my fingers as we held each other. "You're eighteen. Surely that has to count for something?"
I knew he would ask eventually, I thought perhaps it would have come a little later.
"It's not like it is at your house." I sighed, "Your parents actually care about what you want. I don't think my Dad ever stopped to wonder if any of us wanted any of this. It just... is."
He stroked the back of my hand and curled both of his around it, closing around it like an oyster shell. "It doesn't have to be."
I wanted to join him in his hopefulness. But with the sun coming up I knew that I would have preferred to face the consequences of him being there alone. Another punishment. Another atonement for something I'd done that felt good.
"You'd better go before he gets here to pick me up." I responded, with my heart sinking even as the words spilled out. "I don't want you to have to deal with him."
But Jake was staunch. Sometimes I forgot that he was older than me.
"I'd take him on in a heartbeat if it meant that I got to keep you." He said reluctantly, sweeping his lips across my cheek. "Find what you love...and let it kill you."
The day I met Jake was the day that everything started to make sense. The night I spent with Jake in that church was the night I knew why. The pieces of my life finally started to fit. And there was no joy to be found in anything except for him. And I knew that I was irrevocably in love with him. Doomed, some might say.
Jolene was sitting in the window as I arrived home. Her forlorn morning stare reaching out to me through the glass as I climbed out of the car, the journey home wordless and without any conclusion. My Father had simply walked into the church, ascertained that I hadn't fallen asleep at my post, and opened the door for me to walk outside.
The weary walk to my room was peppered with my Mother taking my cardigan at the door and sheepishly asking me if I was feeling alright. I felt a sense of betrayal from her that usually simmered below the surface, but that particular morning it raged so aggressively I could barely look at her.
"May I go to sleep now?" I asked, ascending the stairs as my Dad silently nodded his approval.
No sooner had I opened the door, Jolene flew to it. Dark circles painted beneath her eyes, as if she hadn't drawn a wink of sleep either. Her nails bitten down to the quick and almost manic as she gripped my shoulders.
"Did Jake find you?" She demanded, frantic as I tried to sit at my desk. "I saw him, his car sped out of the driveway after Dad took you out. He looked pretty pissed."
There was a strange sense that my head was under water. It felt like my ears were blocked and my vision blurred. I hadn't slept, I'd been on high alert. And every time I thought it was safe to, I forgot that it hurt to sit down.
"Yes, yes... he found me." I sighed, pulling off my dress and slipping into my night gown. "We can talk about it later, now I really need to sleep."
She continued to fret as I climbed into bed. I hadn't realised that my body had been tensed, my muscles suddenly relaxing as I pulled my blanket around me. In here nothing else mattered and I closed my eyes. Feeling Jolene's unease as she lingered on the edge of her bed on the opposite side of the room.
"Let me sleep, Jo." I said, eyes still clamped shut.
She hesitated a little before responding.
"I had sex with him, Bonnie." She whispered, forcing me to open my eyes.
I wasn't really sure what I'd expected her to say. That perhaps they'd exchanged a sweet kiss. That she'd let him trail his fingers up her shirt, but nothing quite so absolute as the full act.
"What do you mean?" I asked, reluctantly sitting up as a beam of morning light began to creep in through the crack in the curtains.
She rolled her eyes and began wringing her hands between the folds of her night gown nervously.
"That's why we were late to get back to meet Ben." She explained, her eyes trained on the closed bedroom door. "All of this is my fault. I should have been the one doing midnight prayer. I'm the reason we were late. I'm the one who committed the sin."
She'd endured her own type of punishment. I could see it in the way she couldn't settle. Her knees in a frenzy as they shook up and down, her fingers in her mouth as she continued to chew on her nails. I opened up my blanket and invited her to lay with me. Immediately she drew the same calm as I had from being shrouded in pillows and blankets. Our bodies side by side as I hunkered down with her. Something we hadn't done since childhood.
"Was it what you wanted?" I asked, delicately pushing her hair away from her tired face. "With Sam? Did you do it because you wanted to?"
Her brow furrowed in confusion. "Of course I wanted to. He didn't make me do anything. Maybe I got caught up in the moment, but he was gentle with me from start to finish."
He was just like Jake. She weaved a tale so soft and seeped in romanticism that I was swept away with it. The way he'd offered her his hand to hold. The way he'd wanted to show her where all the fish liked to gather at an old bridge further down the creek, and they'd sat with their feet dangling off the edge talking about nothing of consequence. It sounded like a perfect summer afternoon. And she'd let him kiss her on that bridge for the first time, her and I locked in our unfolding stories at the same time.
"One minute we were kissing on that bridge and the next he scooped me up and carried me to the river bank. I don't think either of us had any idea what we were going to do. It just...happened."
She didn't have an inkling of regret. Even though she was sleep deprived, there was a sparkle there in her eyes as she talked about him. About the way he'd soothed her with caresses, assuring him it was what she wanted when he would have stopped. Calling her his little grasshopper because she'd been so excitable. He'd been slow and careful with her, repeatedly asking if she was ok throughout the whole thing. Taking care not to hurt her. Promising to shoulder the brunt of any punishment laid out.
"He's going to ask Dad for permission to date me." She said wistfully, "I told him that it didn't matter whether he asked for permission or not, that we'd never be allowed to date. But he was adamant. He said he wasn't going to let it come between us."
Our secrets were ours to keep. I knew that the minute Sam Kiszka crossed that street and onto our porch that they would unravel. I wanted to keep our secrets safe. It didn't matter how many punishments we endured. Jake seemed to understand this. His was a far more mature and level headed approach. Jake would have followed me anywhere, in pursuit. He would have snatched me up and taken me anywhere I pleased. But he knew better than to try to defy a man who was neither sound nor reasonable.
"I know he think's that he's doing the right thing, but he can't ask Dad to date you. It'll only make things worse." I worried, careful not to bring my own intentions into it.
Jolene's eyes moved down. Gentle disappointment laced in her heavy breath. When she looked up it was with forlorn dismay. A film of tears threatening to spill over her lashes.
"He's in my bones now, Bonnie." She sniffed. " I want my chance with him in every life time, not just this one. Don't you understand that?"
Such a romantic little thing, she was. I carried the bruises of the sexual deviances of what I'd done, but she'd known something I'd yet to know. A secret that was all hers, that I was no part of. I wondered why Jake hadn't tried to have sex with me, why her and Sam had come to it so soon? She was so eager to have everything so suddenly, part of me wondered if she hadn't instigated it herself.
It didn't really matter. Her mind was so staunchly set that I couldn't argue with it.
"Ok." I conceded. "Well, did it hurt?"
The swell of her smile was enough to keep me awake. The fissures of a giggle threatening to give way.
"A little." She replied, "I didn't know what to do at first. He laid me down and touched me, told me it was so that I'd be ready. And then he kissed me all the way down until his mouth was... you know...and then he kissed me there a little while. I don't know what came over me, I just knew that I'd let him have his way after that."
A flush of pink rushed to her cheeks. She seemed more awake than she had been a moment ago.
"And then... it was like a hot knife cutting through butter. Smooth and slow. And I could feel it sting, but only for a moment. And he asked me if I was alright, he never stopped looking into my eyes for any hint of pain. I just kept nodding, trying to keep it together. Not knowing if I should make a sound or stay silent. If I should move and let him do all of it. I just laid there for the first few minutes, taking it all in. Like even as it was happening I knew I'd recall it like a dream."
Theirs was a sweet summer love. A tender fairytale I could see a shadow lingering behind. But I didn't dare tell her. I hoped that it was stay where it was and leave them be. She deserved a summer of love.
It made me wonder what was going on in Jakes mind. The opportunity to descend into sexual madness had presented itself twice now, and twice he hadn't tried to take my virginity. I questioned whether it was a long game he was playing, or if he simply did not desire to have it.
"Did you do it with Jake?" She asked, almost as if she'd heard the reverb of my thoughts.
I couldn't lie to her. "Not all the way. With him, it's like he's playing this long game. Almost like he can't bear to take it too far too soon."
I knew she would think that I judged her. But what one brother would do wasn't always going to be what the other did. She was well suited to Sam, and yet their shared penchant for chaos was the face of that very shadow I could see behind them.
"Do you love him?" She asked, yawning and rubbing her eyes as the sun crept in.
That was something which seemed to have a more simple response. I didn't know his favourite colour or the way he liked his eggs cooked. I didn't know what songs he liked to listen to in the car on long journeys, or if he ever sang in the shower. These were things I ached to know, and resolved to know in due course. The little things. It was the biggest thing which drew me to my conclusion.
"He took a risk coming to the church last night." I replied, feeling my eyelids grow ever heavy. "For that alone, I will love him."
It felt as if I'd only closed my eyes for a moment. I was drifting from a dream that I wouldn't remember when I opened them. I could hear familiar voices rising, my name somewhere on the breeze. Perhaps I was still dreaming? Somewhere in the distance I could hear my Father's voice. His venomous sermon waking me, and I sat bolt upright in a panic that I hadn't known would come.
I had no sense of the time. The sun was beating down from the centre of the sky, my curtains rippling in the warm summer breeze as my window sat at half mast. And outside the peace of the afternoon was broken by the sound of my sister's screams.
I grabbed my robe off the hook on the back of the door and flew downstairs. The front door was wide open, so rarely was it ever left like that; I knew immediately that something was wrong.
My Mother was standing on the porch, pacing a little as she watched from her safely appointed spot in the background. My Dad was standing at the foot of the driveway, holding Jolene back as he pointed an ominous finger at Sam. He was flanked by his older brothers, who were trying to convince him to pull back. Jolene was crying. Tears streaming down her face, begging to be let go of. Trying to rip at Dad's shirt, like an animal caught in a snare trying to fight for it's life.
The moment I appeared Jake's eyes lost their focus. He let go of his brother. Bile began to rise in my throat and I shook my head, terrified that he was about to move towards me. The very motion of my head seemed to break his heart. He would have made his claim, would've fought for me. But now was not the time.
"Please, Mr. Jones. Just hear me out!" Sam pleaded, trying to reach for Jolene. "I love her, Sir. I wont hurt her, I promise!"
It was as if he couldn't feel the push and pull of his daughter who wriggled on the end of a hook that only he had the power to reel in. He barely shook against the onslaught of her efforts to break free. His eyes burning into the boy who had come to ask for his permission.
"You set foot over here again, boy, and I'll call the police. You hear me?!" He threatened, "This is my land. My daughter."
Josh was still fervently attached to Sam's shoulder.
"With all due respect, Sir, my brother is a good person. He doesn't mean any harm to your daughter." He reasoned, holding a palm up towards my Dad to signal a cease fire. "We only live across the street. Only seems natural they'd take a liking to each other."
He didn't know it, but he was kicking the hornets nest. I wanted to intervene, feeling useless as I stood there with a voice that couldn't speak and feet that wouldn't move. I felt no better than my Mother as I watched the screen door over at the Kiszka house fly open. Their sister appeared, trying to explain what was going on in violent hand gestures, as their Mother stormed across the front yard and over to where her boys were trying to avoid a scuffle.
"Marie, come and take your daughter." Dad said calmly, shoving Jolene back towards the house as my Mom scurried down the porch steps to retrieve her.
I stayed close by. I didn't know what else to do.
"Boys, get back in the house!" She demanded, pulling them apart like rubber bands. "Mr. Jones, I know you're a well respected pastor in this town but I don't like your attitude towards my family. We welcomed you in to the street, we were met with indifference. So I'd kindly ask that you don't raise your voice or your hand to my son again!"
The way she stood there, fierce and unflappable. I'd only seen her a handful of times, taking groceries into the house or tending to her flower beds around the edge of the porch. Sometimes she would sit with Mr. Kiszka on the porch of an evening. The two of them sharing a drink and watching the world go by. That sort of slow living I thought only existed in movies.
"You keep those feral mutts away from my girls." Dad argued, that terrible finger of devout judgement mere inches away from her face.
But she remained unperturbed. Josh and Jake lingered at her back, Jake not knowing whether to stay behind his Mother or come to my side. I continued to subtly shake my head every time I caught his eye.
Mrs. Kiszka, with her arms folded and her eyes wide with rage, kept her lip tucked firmly under her teeth as she weighed and measured my Father. I noticed Ben lingering by the garage door, an oily rag in his hand and the car bonnet propped up as he stared at the chaos unfolding. An onlooker, no better than I. And I hated myself for it.
"If my feral mutts go anywhere near your girls, it's because they were invited." She bit back, keeping her voice low and steady. "It only seems hospitable that we extend the invitation right back."
Such poise and grace deserved accolades. She took a few tempered steps back, raising a cheerful grin as she looked back at the house and regarded only me and my sister.
"Girls, you are more than welcome over at our house any time." She said sweetly, "You know, it's downright cruel the way you keep them cooped up like that during summer."
She gathered up her boys and began the triumphant walk back across the street. I knew the rage that simmered beneath my Father's still frame was unfathomable. He remained where he stood for a few more moments, deftly trying to fight against raising his voice or going over there to continue the fight.
I left him there. Taking Jolene from my Mother, ushering her back inside to calm herself. Utterly broken by the events that had unfolded. I looked back only once, to see Jake staring at me from his driveway.
Dad went into his office and slammed the door behind him, the sound shaking the walls of the house. I sat Jolene down at the kitchen table and made some tea, her face all pink and blotchy from the tears. I could hear the sound of lawn mowers humming outside in the distance, and Ben hammering away at something in the garage.
Like it had never happened.
But it had. And there was no going back from it. Shaken and ruined by it, I sat holding her hand. Trying to ignore our Mother as she appeared, cleaning away the dishes at the sink as if she was looking for something to occupy herself.
"You girls, you know you shouldn't get him angry like that." She dithered, almost as if she couldn't see the state in which Jolene remained in. "It's so much easier to just... not push his buttons."
"And I suppose by not pushing his buttons you mean never speak a word, stay in our rooms and be on our best behaviour at church?" I replied, urging Jolene to drink her tea.
She pushed it aside. "I don't care what anyone says, I won't be kept apart from him."
Mom dropped a glass in the sink. "Oh, Jolene... you know your Father just wants the best for you. To marry a good Christian boy from the church."
"I don't want no one but Sam!!!" She yelled, our Mother flinching back as if she'd thrown hands. "You'll never understand! Just because that's what you did, it doesn't mean that's what I have to do! Look at you, like a frightened little puppy! Scared of what he'll say if you step out of line! I'm not afraid anymore. And if you want me to stop seeing Sam, you'll have to kill me."
I didn't know it at the time, but Jolene had set in motion a course of events that would never be able to wash it's hands clean of the blood that would be spilled. I would often think back to that day in the kitchen and hear the sound of that glass shattering in the sink, our Mother's hand bleeding out under the run of the faucet. And I would wonder what might have been if she'd just kept it a secret a little while longer.
That night, I couldn't sleep. My pattern ruined from the previous night of wakefulness and the day I'd spent catching up. Unable to settle in my bones thereafter, after being woken so abruptly. Jolene had spent hours beneath her blanket, refusing to be comforted. Sobbing into her pillow until her breath had gone shallow and I could discern the waves and depth of sleep that had taken over.
I kept the window half open. The heat still bearing down, even when the sun had set. The trails of the night breeze gliding over my leg as I hitched it over my blanket and tried to distract myself with a book.
The way that Jake had looked at me was etched in every single thought I had. Barely able to eat supper at the excrutiatingly silent dinner table, unable to focus on anything but the way he'd wanted to step to me. That same tangible desire that was being screamed out of Jolene's lungs existed within mine.
Only mine was a little quieter. A little more serene. But no less bold in it's approach. I wanted him so bad I couldn't read any of the words on the page. I had to actively stop myself from going to the window to see if he was waiting there with a sign. I knew that if I did I wouldn't be able to stop myself from climbing out and going to him.
I didn't need to wonder, though. The night was so thick with atmosphere, the sound of the crickets had shrouded his movements. It wasn't until his hands curled around the window frame, pulling it open as wide as it would go, that I looked up from my book and felt my heart begin to rage within my chest.
He fell into the room, knocking over my pencil pot as he climbed over my desk. Admonishing himself as Jolene stirred a little, but did not wake. He silently placed the pencils back where they belonged and stealthily moved over to my bed.
It felt as if I hadn't seen him for days. About to whisper my fears as he placed a warm hand to my mouth and hushed me before I could utter one word.
"Ssssh now." He whispered, "You don't want to get us caught, do you?"
I shook my head with his hand still firmly planted there. His body was firm against mine, his eyes scanning my face in the low, golden glow of my bed side lamp.
"You sure do look pretty when you're all tucked up in bed like that." He said quietly, smirking as he released me. "Get dressed. Meet me out on the porch roof."
I glanced at my alarm clock. It wasn't yet midnight. I knew that if I could slip back in before sunrise, the risk would be lessened. I thought about it as I watched Jake climb back out, waiting until he was completely through the frame before yanking off my night gown and carelessly picking up the first thing I could grab out of my closet. Conscious that one creak of the floor boards could wake Jolene.
Would I even care, even if I did get caught sneaking back in? Would the consequence be worth it? I clasped my bra on, pulling the straps over my shoulders as I shimmied into a pair of white linen shorts and a blouse. I shoved my feet into a pair of sandals and knew that the regret would haunt me for the rest of my life if I didn't climb out of that window right then and there.
The sight of Jake in the summer moon, silver light illuminating his side profile as he sat on the edge of the porch roof waiting me, it was all I needed to know that I might never climb back inside the window. He was looking up at the stars, completely enchanted by the expanse of little white dots scattered across the noir. And when he noticed me, his face transformed from one of spacial wonder to one that knew it's home when it saw it.
"Do you trust me?" He asked solemnly, extending his hand for me to take as I climbed out.
He was wearing a muted purple t-shirt, ripped at the hem and paired with a pair of washed out old levi's. His hair hadn't been brushed, I could make out the knots even in the light of the moon. The wild elements of him only serving to make my heart beat faster. There wasn't anything about Jake that made me think that I was about to enjoy a peaceful evening. Everything about him had my danger receptors firing in all cylinders. And yet, I did trust him.
"Why, shouldn't I trust you?" I asked, letting him guide me down the trellis that ran down the side of the porch, his hands reaching for my waist as he helped me onto the ground.
"That very much depends." He fired back, "If your Dad intends me to bring you back without knowing how much I've fallen in love with you, then no."
His words stilled me. There under the moon, he caught me with a gentle gaze that guided me into a kiss that could have been witnessed by every eye in the whole world and I wouldn't have cared. His palm rested on my cheek, his hips angled towards mine. Heaven tasted like his tongue which gently probed into my mouth and brushed over mine, sending a rush of arousal to my beating pussy.
"What happened today shouldn't have happened." He said, keeping his forehead rested against mine. "I can't pretend that I understand why the fuck your Dad is such a narcissistic bastard. But I'll take you the fuck away from here. Just say the word. I've been working at my Dad's music store, saved up enough to get my own car. A little left over, too. We can go anywhere you want. I'll look after you, Bonnie."
I almost died inside at the sentiment. Waves of heat and flutters of excitement churned away in my stomach as he awaited my response. There wasn't a single condition to the way that I loved him. I didn't know how or why or even when I knew that it was love, the exact moment I could have hand picked from the little ones we'd shared. But I knew, beyond all conviction, that I would have followed him into the fire and brimstone of hell if that was where he was destined to go.
Jake made the dead parts of me breathe again. The parts of me that I'd long since disregarded and thought could never be resurrected. And I wanted so badly to honour that. To take his hand and let him lead me as far away from Beech Run as was humanly possible. But I couldn't leave Jolene. Not with the threat of the days events still hanging over her head. Without me, there was no guiding light for her.
"I promise." I whispered against his open mouth. "One day I will ask you to take me away from here. But not yet..."
For now, I let him take me across the street and up the gravel of his driveway. Every light in his house was out, save for the flicker of something glowing behind the half raised garage door.
"I meant what I said." He reminded me, stopping right before he would open it fully. "I'm gonna show you how much I've fallen in love with you."
"Maybe I'll show you." I countered, leaving him a little bewildered as he pushed up the garage door.
"You deserve to have beautiful memories. I really hope this is one of them."
The garage was only a small space. Littered with music paraphernalia. Multiple piles of vinyl in cardboard sleeves. A few stereo systems of varying degrees of use were dotted about. There was a drum kit right at the back and a set of guitars leaning on stands sitting on a moth eaten old carpet. On the walls there were posters, some of them lovingly placed in glass frames and others haphazardly tacked to the wall and ripped at the edges. I didn't recognise any of the faces in the images, but they looked like musicians or from movies. In the centre of the room was a couch with a pull out bed. He'd taken the liberty of making it up, surrounded with pillows and several blankets and comforters like he'd tried to build a soft little nest.
And all around the room were the dainty flickers of tea light flames. Hundreds of them, lovingly placed and ignited to fill the room with a soft glow that gave me a lump in my throat as I looked at what he had done for me. If he had wanted me to remember this, it would always stand proudly at the front of everything I did that summer.
"You did all this, for me?"
He went over to one of the stereo's and at the very top was a record player. He set the pin into the grooves, and let it begin to spin. I didn't recognise the song, but it set the mood perfectly.
"This is the least of what I'd do for you." He said, pulling me in to slow dance as I rested my head against his shoulder. "And when you finally decide to run away with me, then you'll know how far I'm willing to go."
We made out on the pull out bed for a little while. His smile as I kissed his teeth made him giggle, sharing laughter as we kissed amongst the piles of vinyl and instruments. I could have stayed like that forever, just taking in the memory of his lips and the way it felt to have his arm tucked beneath my head as he pulled me in. Sometimes his hair would fall out from behind his ear and sweep across my cheek, making me shudder at the sensation of it. And he would gallantly tuck it back, taking a moment to catch my expressions in the candle light.
"Tell me what you know about sex." He said, playing with the cord on the waist band of my shorts. "Do you ever think about it?"
I suddenly felt so very small in his arms. "Of course I think about it."
The steady beat of his heart became so erratic I could hear it in his breath. He was doing anything to distract himself, twirling the little string of fabric between his fingers and only looking at me when I hadn't said anything for a while. Like he'd been waiting for me to speak and didn't want to break the spell.
"I know enough about sex to know that I think about it." I offered, "Why do you ask?"
He couldn't look me in the eye, then. Preferring to shoot his gaze at the stereo, the clear plastic hood of the vinyl section propped up like a car bonnet as the pin skipped over to the next song.
"What I did to you in the church... and in the field the other day... I don't want you to think that it's all I want." He sounded sincere, bringing his eyes back to me after he'd finished speaking.
I could see the conflict. His desire to protect me and fuck me at odds with one another. I pulled him into another superfluous kiss. It had been enough for him to do all this for me. To lay the bed out with all the soft comforters and pillows and light all the tiny little tea candles, pick out his favourite music and making sure he said all the right words.
"But I also want you to know that I would do it all again. Over and over. Because your body does something to me that is beyond all fucking reasoning." He trailed his hand down from my throat into the valley of my breasts. "It started the first time I saw you in the window. Took every ounce of strength I had not to get too hard. And then when I saw you coming towards me down by the creek, I felt dizzy for the first time over a girl. I wanted to give you something, something that would make you feel good. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to know what you felt like. I couldn't get the thought out of my head for hours, even in the church I wanted to pull your panties all the way down. I wanted to just pull my zipper down and let it happen. But I knew that if I did, I'd regret it. You deserve to be courted sweetly. Not spanked to the edge of tolerance under God's roof..."
"I liked it." I cut him off, his fingertips pushing the edge of my blouse away from the curve of my breast. "I'm not made of porcelain, Jake. I wont break. I've been treated like I shouldn't be exposed to sex my whole life. Like it was a dirty sinful thing that would land me a one way ticket to hell. I don't care where I end up after I die. I just want to live..."
"Then we'll live." He agreed, wordlessly tugging at my clothes until he had taken them off and thrown them down by the bed.
In my underwear, I'd been conditioned to feel shame. But there was nothing but power there as Jake knelt at the foot of the bed and stared at me as if he'd unearthed buried treasure. His tongue sat the edge of his teeth, his eyes moving down from the way my hair tumbled over my breasts right down to the curve of my ankles.
"You ever seen a hard cock before?" He asked, shedding his t-shirt and unbuckling his belt. "I don't want to scare you."
I couldn't help but giggle. "I'm not afraid."
Perhaps there was a part of me that was curiously on edge. It wasn't fear, but as he began to take apart his zipper I could feel the apprehension rise. He didn't take his eyes off me. Carefully watching for my reaction as he pushed his levi's down. Beneath the fabric of his white boxer shorts I could make out the line of his cock. He gripped it tightly, giving it a little shake as he released some of the tension.
"It's not fully hard yet." He explained, "Do you want to touch it until it is?"
I swallowed thickly, the lump in my throat somehow bigger as he kicked off his jeans and scrambled up the bed to lay back down at my side.
"Show me how you like to be touched." I said, letting him guide my hand over the bulge, almost like the fabric between his flesh and mine was a slow introduction to how he liked it best.
"Just wrap your hand around it." He instructed, watching as I coiled my fingers around the shaft. "Yeah, just like that. And then squeeze it a little. And move up and down slowly."
The pulse quickened immediately. A rush of blood taking him to a solidness I hadn't expected. And it made me wet. I could feel the crotch between my thighs grow moist, and he noticed it too. Tracing the line of fabric that had darkened in colour, breathing heavily as he ghosted a feather light touch over my mound.
"I'm trying to take it slowly, but I need to have your body free of these..." He pulled on the waist of my panties, moaning softly as I continued to move my hand precisely the way he'd told me to.
"We're always trying." I mused, rolling onto my back so that he could take my underwear off. "Trying to be good. To work hard. To do what's right. Why don't people ever try to do what they want, what they need?"
"Oh, they do." He replied, peppering my breasts with kisses as he unclasped my bra and threw it down with the rest of my clothes, his body above me as I looked up at him. "They just don't talk about it."
The way he slid down my body, taking my panties with him, I couldn't bear it. " Oh...I guess that makes sense."
His head snapped up from covering my stomach in soft little kisses. His hair already knotted up and fucked.
"For instance, right now all I want to do is make love to you. But that's our little secret. Nobody else gets to ruin this for us. This is ours. Between nobody but me and you. Ok?"
I barely noticed that he'd rendered me naked. I laid there without a stitch on, his body lingering above me as I watched him move back. He was so beautiful. I couldn't take my eyes away from how his stomach moved as he breathed. The way his messed up hair sat at his shoulders. Even his thighs were making me feel like I'd never really been alive up until this moment. I'd just existed through out a series of events that had brought me here.
"You have no idea how possessed I am by you." He told me, sliding his hand down behind the waist band of his boxers as his eyes closed a little. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you bewitched me."
There was humour in his inflection, enough that it drew a breathy little giggle as he pulled out his cock. He let his boxers fall to the ground, observing me as I laid on the little nest he'd built for us.
"It's got a hold of me, too." I confessed, "Whatever this is. I'm a part of it."
It seemed to be enough that we were both entangled within this spell. He stood there gently stroking himself as I parted my legs. Letting him enjoy the view, taking in the sight as I watched him right back. He seemed to know the pattern of his own touch, letting his cock stand as he rounded a palm over his balls and left a shimmery trail at his bellybutton as his tip leaked.
"I don't want to wait anymore, Jake."
There were such things as ghosts. Not the people who had once lived and had died, but the versions of ourselves that had been and were never more. I felt like a ghost as he coveted me. My thighs welcoming his body between them and the rush of arousal that flooded every nerve ending was like lightening striking the earth.
I didn't quieten myself for Jake. For him, I did not enter a room as if I were not invited. For him I opened up, offering him my heart and my virginity; the two things perhaps the greatest gifts I had to offer him. And there was no confusion over what it meant to him. He laid down on top of me, holding his weight just enough so that I could feel his intention and taste his breath. The softness of his approach in direct contrast to the unrelenting hardness resting at the unopened door.
"Can you feel that?" He asked quietly, his lips brushing against mine. "It's all for you, Bonnie. All of it."
I knew he was mine the moment he shifted. His weight rolling down, hips dancing forward. And I was a vessel on calm seas. He didn't take his eyes from mine as he slowly entered. The tip just sitting in the tightness, stretching me out and making me wince a little. But it wasn't unbearable. I placed my hands around him, keeping him tethered. Ensuring no part of him would retreat if my expressions betrayed me.
"Ok?" He checked, moving a subdued kiss across my cheek bone, sweeping his lips across to where his whisper entered my ear. "Does it hurt?"
"Just keep going." I urged, certain that the burn and the ache would subside, "Don't stop..."
He let out the most delicious sound as he slowly continued to enter. Moaning softly, his breath warm against my cheek until he was entirely within me. And I could feel his groin rub against my thighs, soft pubic hair against my mound. And there he stayed, leaning up on forearms so that he could get a better look at me.
"I'm not going to fuck you, not yet." He explained, his palms coming to rest against my temples. "I just want to commit this feeling to memory."
I'd never felt more full. Almost like he was nearing the inside of my stomach, the pain and the sting of was worth all the misery of wondering what it would feel like. Because it simply wasn't how I could have ever imagined it.
"I love you, Jake." Was all I could fathom to say, staring up at his intense brown eyes that couldn't seem to look away from me.
He mouthed the words back to me, resting his forehead against mine, breathing a little harder as I clenched my pussy around him. The action was somewhat involuntary, as the inevitable burn began to lay waste to a feeling that was entirely new. With every flex he moaned again, and the melody of it drew a throb from me that almost demanded movement.
"So... tight..." He fought against it, keeping his cock nestled inside me, making a home for it as he buried his lips against my jaw and whispered sweet words that made me fall in love with him over and over again.
He would have stayed like that forever. And I would have kept him there for eternity. But the need and the animalistic urge to thrust was one I hadn't been prepared for. The way my body felt the rigid pull back was a delight. And the slow push back inside was delicious and my senses were spilling over with every thrust, every touch. Every breath and every kiss. Every word spoken and every soft moan. My mouth filled with his tongue, my fingers digging into the soft flesh at his waist. His cock slammed into me, fucked me and made love to me so softly at first and then when I couldn't stop myself from crying out he let himself take it a little harder, a little rougher until we were moving in unison.
"You feel so good, Bonnie." He told me, breathless between kisses, "I claim you..."
"I claim you, Jake..." I panted it, my voice coming out like a desperate whine that didn't quite sound like anything I'd ever spoken like before.
He seemed to like it. Bringing his mouth down to my hard nipples and clamping his lips around them. He sucked so gently, keeping his rhythm so perfectly I could feel my body start to vibrate. Overstimulated and ascending to the stars that he had promised me.
And yet, I had a feeling that he was nowhere near to being done with me.
To be Continued...
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Endless Summer: Josh Kiszka x Reader Fanfiction
Part Two
description: you and sammy have been best friends since you were kids, and being around his family was the norm your entire life. when invited to a trip to their family lake house during the summer, you find yourself spending more time with his brother than your best friend. and, one thing has been clear your entire friendship: brothers are off limits.
warnings for this series: alcohol and marijuana usage, explicit content (18+, minors dni), angst, swearing
word count: 7k
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You squinted one eye open the next day as you heard your door squeak. You lifted your head just enough to see Sam creeping into your bedroom. When he noticed you were alert and awake, he gave you a soft smile, and made his way over to your bed without caring about his steps being too loud on the creaking wood floors.
He crawled into bed with you, resting his back on the headboard and inviting you into his arms as one laid above your head. You moved yourself over to his body and rested your head on his bare chest, humming in delight as you made yourself comfortable and shutting your eyes.
“Morning.” He croaked at you.
You titled your head up and met his eyes, then chose to rest back down as you felt your neck growing tired from craning it.
“Good morning to you, too, sunshine.” You smirked at your comment, feeling Sam’s chest rise as he huffed out a laugh.
“What was it like sleeping in here?”
“Blissful, until you decided to wake me up.” You shook your head against his chest. “What time is it?”
“Nearly nine.” He shifted his head towards the round clock that sat on the wall of the room. “Bright and early.”
“Too early,” you groaned, “are the boys awake?”
“I think Josh is, but I’m not sure. Didn’t check.” He shrugged.
You moved yourself off of his chest and chose to rest your back on the headboard as he did, sighing deeply as you let your eyes get used to the brightly-lit room.
“Do we have anything planned for the day?” You turned your head to him.
“I know they have something planned, but they won’t tell me because they want it to be a surprise for you.” He rolled his eyes and finally met your gaze.
“They know better not to tell you because you’d tell me anyways.” You gave him a playful smirk, watching as he grew slightly irritated at your truth. “You’re not good at keeping secrets.”
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever it is, I hope it’s good.”
You nodded and let your eyes rest on the mirror in front of you, watching through it as Sam picked himself off the bed and stood in silence, like he was waiting for you to turn your attention back to him.
“Breakfast?”
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You all grabbed food at a nearby diner, agreeing to go shopping to stock up on groceries to keep your going out to a minimum. Once you all arrived back home after eating, you entered the lake house again.
Jake mentioned that you would need your swimsuit for the day, but it wasn't necessarily required. You decided to throw it on underneath your clothing just in case and met the boys downstairs where they seemed to have gathered in a small circle and chatting casually.
You raised your eyebrows at them and waited for their attention to turn towards you, to which Josh clasped his hands together and motioned everyone to follow him. He grabbed a small, light-weight cooler on the way out with a few things he packed into it from the newly stocked fridge and pantry.
"Are you boys gonna tell us what we're doing?" You followed the twins and Sam down the familiar trail to the lake, except taking a slightly alternative route.
"You'll see when we get there." Jake flipped his head back to you, giving you a suspicious smile that only meant they were up to no good.
You looked up at Sam, who seemed to be set off and in an aggravated mood. He must've been told what you all were doing, or he simply figured it out on his own. You chose to keep your thoughts to yourself and look back forward and continued down the path.
As you four made it to the bottom of the trail, two kayaks laid at the bottom with four large paddles sitting inside of them. Jake and Josh must've set them up earlier when you and Sam were together in the morning, or when you two were occupied with changing.
"You didn't tell me what we were doing because we were going to go kayaking?" Sam huffed with a slight groan, popping his hip out with folded arms.
"Well, if we would've told you, we wouldn't have been able to drag you down here." Jake shrugged with a sly smirk slapped across his face, seemingly pleased that he was upsetting his brother. "It won't be like last time, I promise. Don't be a prick, Sam."
"Wait, why are you upset? I thought you liked kayaking?" You furrowed your brows, making your way to the kayak that was directly in front of you.
"That was until they pushed me into the water, and I had to get a new phone because my old one broke. And I lost my wallet." He spat, looking over to the twins who were failing to hide their laughter behind their ducked heads.
"God, it was hilarious, y/n. Sam was trying to find his wallet for like hours, and he eventually gave up. He ended up tugging his jeans on a few branches and came out of the lake a mess." Josh said in between laughs.
"It's not funny, man. Told you guys I didn't want to go kayaking with you again after that. Was fucking miserable all day. You know I nearly got an infection because I cut myself so deep?" He spat, challenging his brothers by taking a few steps closer.
"If you think we're going to do it again you're more than free to go sit in the house until we get back." Jake shrugged, flashing his eyes at you before meeting Sam's.
Sam turned his head over his shoulder, noticing you were eager to step into the kayak and waiting for him to join you.
Sam rolled his eyes, exhaling with a deep sigh and saying, "Alright, but I'm going with y/n. If any of you try something stupid, I'm pulling you down under with me." He pointed in their faces, giving them one more look of anger as he took harsh steps towards the back of yours and his's kayak,
Josh took his seat whilst you settled into yours, letting Sam push your kayak into the water and Jake pushing theirs. After getting deep enough into the water, Sam hopped in and grabbed his paddle to begin rowing.
While you helped paddle through the lake, you watched as Josh commanded Jake with quiet directions, snapping photos on his camera of the scenery around you. You had forgotten about how gorgeous the lake was: trees lining the deep blue, yet murky waters, branches that hung too close for comfort, and sparce leaves that rested on the surface of the lake.
Jake had begun talking about where you all were headed off to, explaining that there was a small creek ahead and that that would be your final destination. You listened to the twins tell you a story or two about a fond memory of swimming there, because as kids they always ran off and did things on their own. Sam stayed quiet for the most part, only exhaling quiet sighs as Josh dragged on a story about him and Jake.
Once you all made it to the creek, you and Sam "parked" your kayak off to the side by a few sturdy rocks and tying it to the bark of the tree that rested behind the rocks, letting you four stop for a few hours.
Josh had already cracked a bottle open of a Coors Light beer, sipping it gingerly as he continued to sit in the kayak, not stepping out of it just yet and letting it float in the calm waters. Jake had already made his way under a shaded area nearby, grabbing a sandwich from the cooler and sitting on the rocks as he took a few bites.
"Wasn't so bad, was it?" You stepped over to Sam, who cautiously grabbed a beer from the cooler that sat in front of Josh.
"That's because I warned them not to try anything stupid." He popped the tab of the can, letting the fizz simmer before taking a drink. "You were barely any help."
"Oh, I'm sorry my arms got a little tired." You titled your head to the side, glaring at him with a hint of playfulness. "I'll steer the entire way back if you'd like."
"You might make us crash." He bit back a smirk, dodging your flying hand with a chuckle.
Josh stepped out, pulling the kayak up the rocks until he felt comfortable it would stay, and joined you and Sam's conversation.
"You know, I don't mind taking y/n if you feel as though her paddling was unsatisfactory." He flicked his eyes at you with a warm smile before looking back up at his brother.
"Yeah, and then have Jake in my kayak? That's just a disaster waiting to happen." Sam said as he rested his hands on his hips.
"Not going to push you into the water, Sam." Jake spoke up from his seated position, taking another bite of his sandwich.
"I'll make you a deal, then. If Jake pushes you in the water, tips the kayak - any of that, you can push me in while I'm fully clothed. I can even have my phone in my pocket if it makes you feel better." He cocked his head with raised brows, waiting for his brother's response.
Sam looked over at Jake, who seemed to have spaced off by looking at something in the near distance, finishing his sandwich and setting his trash next to him as he sprawled his hands out behind him and leaning on them for balance.
"Why do you want y/n in your kayak so badly?" Sam furrowed his brows, looking back to Josh who had a confused look on his face.
Before you were able to speak to express your feelings about Sam's unnecessary attitude, Josh spoke.
"I was just offering because you were complaining about her not being helpful, Sam. She's a friend to us all, not just you."
Sam had always been protective over you, especially when it came to his older brothers. It spurred from jealously of never having something that his brother's didn't, and you were something that was his own. It wasn't a possessive thing in any means, it was a thing of being his own personal best friend. Although he did have Danny, he didn't know him for nearly as long as you two have known each other, and your guys' bond was inseparable just like Jake and Josh's. So, yeah, from time to time he did get jealous when you found one of Josh's jokes funnier than his or decided that you liked one of his older brother idea's better, but that came from him always feeling like he was competing with the twins. He never wanted to make you feel like he thought he owned you, but he did want it to feel like you preferred him over his siblings. He just didn't want to lose another thing to his brothers.
Being the youngest sibling didn't help always feeling like he got the short end of the stick, so when you and him became friends, he finally had something, someone that wasn't a product of his brothers. You were his best friend, and although you eventually became friends with Josh and Jake, you always chose him at the end of the day.
Sam huffed, flicking his eyes back over to Jake before starting to speak. "Fine, yeah. I'll go with Jake back." He threw his hand up and walked away with a tight fist, slumping into the rocks and drinking from his can.
You looked at Josh with wide eyes, seeing that he had already shrugged the situation off.
"I'm sorry-"
"Don't be," he placed his hand on your shoulder, "you know how he is. He'll shape up once we get back."
You nodded, turning your head in Sam's direction, who still had a sour expression on his face and averting his eyes from everyone as he stared at his feet.
"Did you guys push him last time you all were here?" You pressed your lips together.
"Yeah, two summers ago. Was our last time here before we went on tour again. He doesn't let us live it down." He chuckles, raising the lip of his bottle to his mouth.
"Did you apologize to him?"
"'Course we did. But you know Sam. Always holding a grudge." He shrugged with the bottle still at his mouth, taking another sip as he finished his sentence.
You were torn between continuing your conversation with Josh or joining Sam where he sat. You knew Sam always liked space when he was upset, but he also always appreciated your company, and you were able to easily pull him out of an upsetting mood whenever it called for it.
When Josh left you to sit beside Jake, you found yourself creeping over to Sam and sitting next to him with your eyes on the lake. He still had his head dipped down and caught in his own train of thought.
"Hey, you alright?" You spoke quietly, looking over to him.
"Fine." He said as he gave you a tight smile with his eyes still focused on the rocks. "Was just joking, by the way."
"I know you were." You nodded and placed a hand on his back.
Sam picked his head up, sharply inhaling as if the words he had to say were resting on his tongue, but he didn't know if he should speak. He turned his head to you, flicking between both of your eyes as you waited for him to say whatever he felt like he couldn't.
But you knew what he was upset about. It wasn't just the kayaking, which he eventually got over, it was about Josh. He knew you were close with his brothers, and that was fine, but it still bothered him. He felt as though if you ever got closer with them, you'd stop spending time with him and push him to the side. Because, as a matter of fact, that happened a lot to him when he was younger. You watched from the sidelines and would see his friends come and go and choose Jake and or Josh instead of him, or stop being friends with him all together for whatever reason. And you were one of the only people who never chose a side, and that's why you were so important to him.
"You know I love you, Sam. Right?" You let the corners of your lips rest into a smile, rubbing his back with affection.
"Yeah," he huffed a laugh, "I guess I was just being dramatic. I don't know, I was kind of set off already with the whole thing and when Josh said that it just pissed me off. I know he was just trying to be nice, but sometimes I just miss the actual intention behind things, ya know?" He swallowed, rubbing his lips together; a nervous tick he always did. He wasn't the best with his emotions, but when he was, he was fearful of whatever would come next or what would be said.
But you always knew what to say, thankfully because you've known him for so long.
"Yeah, I know. He was just trying to be helpful, despite him not knowing you were just messing with me. I think you owe him an apology, though." You watched as Sam cocked his brows at you. "Maybe not now, but you should at least do it after we get back."
Sam nodded, wrapping his arm around you and resting his head on top of yours. He squeezed you into his side and circled your back with his hand.
"Thanks." He muttered, raising his hand to your hair and massaging your scalp. "Sometimes I don't know how you deal with me."
"It's a thing called patience." You sighed.
You all went into the water for a bit, taking turns popping in and out of the lake and letting the sun soothe you into relaxation. It wasn't an extremely eventful day, but you didn't need much to be satisfied. You had your friends with you, and that was just enough.
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You hopped in Josh's kayak and let him push it into the lake, hopping in front and setting the cooler at the floor of the small boat. Jake and Sam followed shortly behind, but you and Josh had a small head-start.
You twisted your head back and realized Sam and Jake were actually far behind, more than you realized. You worked harder to paddle, probably because you didn't want to embarrass yourself in front of Josh.
"Do you think we should stop and wait for them?" You slowed your rowing and met Josh's eyes.
"Nah, they'll catch up." He titled his head up and motioned for you to continue.
You pressed your tongue to the roof of your mouth, hesitating to speak for a moment.
"Sam's feeling a little jealous." You admitted.
You heard Josh chuckle to himself. "When is he not?"
"Yeah, you're right." You shook your head as you laughed. "I just don't get it sometimes. I mean, we've known each other for so long and he still reverts to acting the same way he did when we were younger."
Josh clicked his tongue. "I'm not sure. He's just a jealous guy. Always has been, I suppose."
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You and Josh made it back to the lake house before his brothers did, and you both took the liberty of grabbing firewood for the firepit outside whilst waiting for their arrival.
You dusted your hands off on your shorts, taking a seat as Josh finished putting the last piece of fire in the pit.
With the sun just barely peaking its head over the grassy hills, the air became less aggressive and lightly sang through your hair and caving in to cool your body. The temperature change wasn’t by much, but it was enough to feel a difference.
Josh hopped in the seat next to you after pulling out one of the last bottles of beer in the small cooler, grabbing one in his other hand and lending it to you with a smile. You took it with gratitude, using the bottle opener and clicking off the metal lid with a loud “pop”.
“Shall we wait for them to get here to light the fire?” Josh looked over to you for approval. The way he asked you seemed like he was stating it rhetorically, but you still answered with a shake of your head.
“Sam isn’t the only pyromaniac in the Kiszka family.” Josh pointed his finger at you, causing you to giggle.
You took a sip from your bottle, waiting patiently for Josh to light the fire. He was blocking your view, standing directly in front of you and then turning around with a satisfied smile once he got the fire going with a few matches and newspaper.
He retook his seat next to you and rested his head on the back of it, fluttering his eyes shut and taking a deep breath.
"I'm sorry, again, about Sam earlier." You twisted your head and letting it rest on your shoulder.
Josh squinted one eye open and looked over to you, shaking his head with a smile.
"You don't have to apologize for him. You have no reason to be sorry." He gave you a shrug, lifting the lip of his bottle to his lips.
"Well, I just feel like someone should apologize. I don't know if he will, so." You pressed your lips together, watching as Josh returned to relaxing the back of his head on the chair, to which you followed and did the same.
Your ears tuned to the hushed sound of branches crunching under shoes, and quiet chatter floating through the air. You lifted your head to see Sam and Jake making their way up the trail with blank faces.
Jake ran off into the lake house, probably to go grab his guitar, and Sam stood in front of Josh with furrowed brows. Josh flicked his eyes at you, then to Sam, and quickly stood up from the seat with an "oh!".
"Was keeping your seat warm." He extended his arms towards the seat as Sammy hopped into the chair.
As Josh made the short walk over to the seat that became his, you decided to try your luck with talking to Sam again.
"I see you're completely dry. Jake didn't push you in?" You joked, letting your lips relax into a playful smirk.
Sam shook his head with an eyeroll, biting back a smile. "We didn't talk much on the way back."
"Probably because he didn't want to say the wrong thing. You look a bit tense."
His face was tight as if you insulted him, shaking his shoulders out and trying to prove to you that he hadn't let the situation earlier affect him still. His Adam's apple bobbed in his throat, averting his eyes from you and standing up to make his way to the cooler.
Jake came out with his guitar case and plopped into the open seat next to Josh, flicking the latches open and pulling the acoustic out with a soft grunt. He rested the base on his knees, his fingers laying lightly on the neck and searching between the three of you with a parted mouth.
"Any suggestions?" He asked. With no reply, he turned his direction to you. "Y/n?"
"Oh, I don't care. Anything you play is great." You felt your cheeks flush, and you shook your head and nursed your bottle by your lips.
"C'mon, I'll play whatever you want." He dragged out the syllables and rested his mouth in a smile.
You took a deep breath and clicked your tongue, searching the ground for an answer, but coming up with nothing. It's not that you were shy, it's just that nothing came to mind. There was always the pressure of not picking a good song, but you shared common music taste with the boys.
But an idea sprung into your head. "How about one of your songs? Haven't gotten the chance to hear you guys live yet."
"But we play our stuff-"
"No, c'mon, let's play something for her." Josh cut Jake off while throwing his hand out to the guitar. He gave you a comical smirk, followed with a wink.
"Well, if that's what you want." He shrugged, tilting his head up for a moment in thought before letting his fingers pluck the chords.
You watched as Josh nodded his head to the melody, seeing him flutter his eyes shut once he began singing the first note. His vocal cords exuded a beautiful orchestra as he sang the song you've familiarized yourself with: "You're the One".
Through your peripheral, you noticed Sam's eyes rested on you, seemingly waiting for you to turn your attention to him. You whipped your head to him with a smile.
"Do you feel any better?" You whispered as you leaned your head towards your friend.
"A bit, yeah," he let his mouth rest parted, "I'm sorry, by the way, for being a dick earlier."
You flashed a smile at him, placing your hand on the back of his. "It's okay. I know you're a little selfish with me sometimes."
He tilted his head up, exhaling a laugh before slowly returning his eyes to you. "Just don't want to lose you to my brother, that's all."
You opened your mouth to reassure him that that wouldn't happen, but he turned his hand over and held yours, speaking up before you had the chance.
"I know I won't. I just worry too much sometimes. And, and it wasn't like it was a big deal anyways. It was a fucking kayak ride." He shook his head while he pressed his lips together. "I just, well, it's still hard sometimes to see you spend time with my brother and not me. It's selfish, I know - I'm well aware." He sighed, looking over to his brothers before returning to you. "I don't even know what was wrong this morning. Guess I just needed someone to blame for how I felt, and Josh was the first person to test me."
You pressed your tongue into your cheek and squeezed his hand, nodding to acknowledge his words and how he felt. You always appreciated it when he would be so vulnerable like this, and it was vital for him to know that you were listening and cared about what he had to say.
"Can I be honest with you?" You said hesitantly.
He nodded and waited for you to continue.
"Don't get upset when I say this," you warned, to which he scrunched up his face in confusion, "I think sometimes you can kind of be an asshole. Like, y'know, with me wanting to hang out with your brothers for a bit. I know how you feel - I do, I just wish you'd take a step back and realize I'm not going anywhere. You don't have to be so protective over me because you think I'd stop being your friend if I spent more time with your brothers."
He tried to let the muscles in his face relax, exhaling deeply as his eyes scrunched shut. With his head tilted down, he collected his thoughts, and gave you a nod.
"Okay," was all he could say to you. You knew that was all you were going to get from him, because after all, he never liked admitting when he was in the wrong. He knew that you cared about your guy's friendship more than anything, but deep down, his gut told him a different story and that he should be cautious.
But he had no reason to be. Even if you had feelings for Josh, which you pushed deep into the back of your brain and heart, you wouldn't let that ruin your friendship with Sam. After all, he was the person that held you as you cried, the person you confided in, the person that would drop anything just to make sure you were okay.
Even when you two were in high school did it shock you how you were a main priority in his life. He usually came off to those around him as self-centered, but to his friends, he was beyond reliable. That's one of the reasons why you valued Sam so much; because even if his exterior said that he didn't care about others, it was far from the truth.
So, seeing him jealous time and time again was normal, and you grew to understand the motive behind his feelings. Even after all this time, you didn't fully grasp why he wouldn't just let some things go or be the bigger person. But, when remembering how he viewed you, it became easier to accept that that was the dynamic between you two, and it would never change. You were like his little sister, despite him being a month older than you. But he didn't consider his brothers in your extended family, it was more of if you were some sort of "long lost sister that was only related to him."
And in a strange way, it made sense. Especially considering you never saw the twins as family, but rather just as friends. But Sammy, Sammy was the brother you never had - the sibling you were never given. And that's why he was so protective over you.
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Once the fire finally died down and the night had seemed to come to an end, you all decided nonverbally to part ways and head back into the lake house.
As you brushed your teeth and got ready for bed, a few, quiet knocks tapped at your door. You probably wouldn’t have heard them if your sink was still running.
With a cocked brow, you walked over to your door, opening it and seeing Josh.
“Hey.” You titled your head to the side, looking at him quizzically.
“Hi,” he smiled at you sheepishly, “mind if I come in for a bit?”
You turned your head over to your bed, then meeting his eyes. “Everything alright?”
“Yeah, I’m just not that tired. Preferred to bother you.” He nodded his head satisfactorily and pushed his way past you as he hopped onto your bed.
You huffed a laugh and returned to the sink in your bathroom as you began brushing through your hair.
"Your brothers weren't good enough options?" You huffed a laugh and flipped your hair over your shoulder once you made your way over to your bed.
He shrugged. "I get to see them all the time. You, on the other hand, not so much. Feel like we got a bit of catching up to do."
You nodded your head in agreement, sitting crisscross on the bed and facing towards the mirror. You noticed Josh fidgeting with his fingers in the mirror, keeping his head hung low and his eyes focused on his cuticles.
"Are you okay?" You turned your head to him, to which he immediately caught your gaze.
"Yeah, just a little bored. Usually just sit in my room for an hour, but I figured a little company would be nice." He gave you a single nod with a soft smile, returning his eyes to his fingers in a slow motion.
You pushed your tongue into your cheek, bouncing between asking him a question that you felt was too sensitive perhaps. Or, just flat-out stupid. But you knew Josh wasn't one to judge you or leave you feeling embarrassed for asking a question.
"Do you...do you get, or feel lonely sometimes?" You watched as he stopped picking at his nails, furrowing his brows together in thought and tilting his head up.
"Not really, no. I'm just a people person, I suppose. Although, I do like spending time by myself." He pointed at you before resuming picking at his nails. "Sometimes it sucks third or fourth wheeling on outings, but it's normal for me. I've become more comfortable with being alone." He met your eyes with a smile that told you that he was being truthful. That he didn't want you to worry about him.
"That's kind of sad." You looked at him with a frown, down turning your brows.
"I don't think so. Well, when you state it the way I just did, yeah it sounds sad," he chuckled to himself, "but I don't mind it." He gave you a reassuring smile, hesitating for a moment before he continued. "Do you?"
You laughed at the question, mainly because you could feel yourself getting uncomfortable with the height of vulnerability immediately rising. You never had an issue talking about emotions, let alone with Josh, but it wasn't something you liked thinking about.
You had your friends in college, and Sam and the twins, but that was pretty much it. Of course, family is always there, but there's some things you can't talk to family about that you can with your friends. You missed Sam more than anyone for the most part when he was gone, and it was the worst kind of feeling you'd get that rested in the pit of your stomach watching him leave Frankenmuth every time. It never got better, no matter how much time went on at an agonizingly slow pace.
And God did it hurt when Josh would leave. You'd even let your tears fall as you give them all hugs, and Josh would hold you in his arms a little longer because he knew that that's what you needed. You'd grasp onto that memory and feeling of being in his arms for as long as you could, until you couldn't remember, and it was just a distant memory that you oddly felt guilty about trying to recall, even though you shouldn't be ashamed of missing his touch.
"Sometimes, yeah. I've got a good number of friends in school, but I miss Sam a lot when he's gone." You watched as his face scrunched up. "And you and Jake, of course."
"Glad to know you don't forget about me when I'm gone." He rested his hand on your knee, rubbing his thumb up and down the bone.
You try to forget about him, but you know if you do, you'll feel worse when he comes back. You're practically guilt-ridden for missing Josh more than Sam sometimes. And that's one thing you'll never admit to anyone.
You two continued to talk about your schooling, and his upcoming tour and all the new songs they have recorded and ready to release. Watching his eyes light up as he tells you the premise of their album and what each song means to him with such passion made you realize what made you fall in love with him in the first place: how much he loves life and is beyond grateful for everything given to him. And how his eyes hold so much adoration, no matter where he looks or who he looks at. He's always wearing his heart on his sleeve and showing the next person the same appreciation as the last. It's one of the things you aspire to be like - more loving, that is.
But you don't try to let your emotions control you, especially because every time you look at Josh you just want to shove your lips on his and taste whatever stupid ChapStick he's wearing. And you've tricked yourself into believing that's selfish. Selfish because you know Sammy would be absolutely crushed that you did the one thing he told you not to do.
But you hadn't done anything wrong, at least not yet.
Then you realized why you hated talking to Josh sometimes. He brought out your emotions and easily unveiled the layers that hid your vulnerability and let them pour into his lap from your mouth. Okay, you didn't hate it, but you wished it wasn't so easy for you to open up to him. For him to make you feel like you were the only person that truly mattered.
And that was why you hated loving him. Because you couldn't. Because it was wrong. Because it was selfish of you to have feelings for someone that you shouldn't because Sammy had told you so long ago that that was the one thing, the one thing that he didn't want to happen in your friendship.
And it did, and it ate at you from the moment you woke up until you fell asleep. And sometimes, it invaded your dreams just to remind you how you should be ashamed.
And that was all you could think about when you and Josh talked. You tried keeping a bright smile on your face, nodding your head to show you were listening. But you were letting your thoughts travel through your ears instead of his words. It was the only time you didn't listen to Josh when he spoke.
"Do we have any plans for tomorrow?" You muttered as you tucked a stray hair behind your ear.
"Don't think so. Might go downtown or head to the beach at night. Jake and I just kind of decide what to do when we see each other in the morning."
"And leave Sam out of it?" You cocked your head to the side.
"He doesn't really care what we do. And, he never has any input. We always consider something if he brings it up, but he usually just tells us whatever we do is fine. Although, we are thinking about surprising him with going to one of his favorite restaurants tomorrow." He gestured with his hand as he spoke. "One of the only places in town with 'good vegan food'."
"I'd like that." You gave him a downturned smile.
"Did he convert you into a vegan?" His eyes widened, pretending to be shocked.
"That's one thing we don't have in common, Josh." You laughed at his face contorting back into a relaxed face of "relief".
"I'm glad some things don't change. Which, you didn't." He extended his pointer finger towards you.
"Is that a good thing?" You rested your hands on your knees and repositioned your body, still sitting crisscross.
"In your case, yeah. I think it is." He nodded, placing his hand on top of yours. "There hasn't been anything wrong with you to begin with." He circled the back of your hand with his thumb, holding your eyes. "Maybe not coming to any of our shows is where you went wrong."
You opened your mouth in defiance, still smiling, and Josh spoke before you had the chance.
"I'm sure you can make it up to me somehow. Like, I don't know, just a random thought, by coming on tour with us next year." He shrugged with a sly smirk, watching you as you rolled your eyes.
"I'll try, Josh. I think next year I'll finally be able to."
"Good! It's been long enough." He threw his hands up, keeping his mouth rested in a cheesy smile as you pushed his shoulder.
Josh let the laughter die down before he hopped out of your bed, letting his lips rest into a soft smile and saying goodnight. You returned the words and waited for him to close the door fully before relaxing under your covers.
You figured resting your eyes and letting your tired body sink into the mattress would lull you to sleep, but you couldn't help but wear your infamous downturned smile. It wasn't like you hadn't had conversations with Josh before, but after what seems like forever, you got to talk to him in an intimate setting again.
It wasn't easy getting one-on-one time with Josh when Sammy was around. Of course, you didn't mind it, but it wasn't a part of your usual routine that made it more exciting and made you crave the late-night talks more.
But you couldn't fight the guilty feeling of Sam sleeping in the room next to you as you and Josh talked. You were purposefully leaving him out of it to satisfy your own selfish desire of having Josh alone and fully attentive to you.
But it's not like anything was going to come from it, anyways. You would be doing the same thing for Sam had it been a better day on his end. You figured after the day he's had that leaving him alone would be best, even if you grew annoyed with the whole situation because it simply seemed childish to you.
But that was just Sam: protective over you in any way possible. Sometimes it came in handy, while other times it was just a little too intrusive. That was the only flaw in yours and his's friendship. But it was just a matter of him caring too much about you, and you shouldn't regard it as a flaw. Even if his intentions or words seemed over the top or outright dramatic, he meant well, for the most part.
⊱ ━━━━.⋅ εïз ⋅.━━━━ ⊰
And as the week went on, the routine of Josh coming to your bedroom nightly continued. Those talks were more intimate, in a platonic way, with you both talking about your lives and everything that's happened since you've two seen each other.
A part of you felt guilty for not discussing with Sam that you two were spending time together alone, since his freakout last week. But there was nothing going on other than a simple chat or a deep conversation that you could have with Sam, so it shouldn't poke at you with guilt that you couldn't get rid of. You thought about offering once or twice to Sam to join you and Josh, but it seemed like Josh preferred it when it was just you two or preferred that Sam didn't know.
Sam did eventually apologize to Josh for overreacting during the kayak trip. It took a day for him to work up the courage, because Sam has never been good with confrontation or admitting he was wrong. But, nonetheless, the gesture was appreciated, and it wasn't spoken of again.
As the days went on, and you all indulged in different activities, you noticed that more than half of your time was preoccupied with Josh. Sure, Sam was often by your side during most of your guys' conversations during the day or by the fire, but at night, it was a different story.
You evaluated your actions and decided that maybe spending so much time with Josh wasn't the best idea, considering how easily upset Sam got over small things that occurred between you and his brother. Even when you four were in the same room would Josh brush your arm or leg or make a joke that could be intended as flirty. But you knew him better to disregard that as Josh being himself, but Sam couldn't. Sam didn't care that it was in his brother's nature to be naturally flirty, because anyone can prevent their actions. And you noticed how aggravated Sammy would get, how his ears grew bright red at the sight of Josh landing his hand on your shoulder or knee. Or his lips would tighten into a sour expression.
You just hoped he didn't notice how your cheeks would flush from the innocent touches, or how your smile would reach your eyes anytime Josh said something to you. Or how you laughed a little more at one of his jokes than the rest of the group. You did all of these things without thought, but once you saw how tense Sam grew, you would beat yourself up in your head after the fact.
Were you making it too obvious you still had feelings for Josh? Or did Sam figure out how you felt about Josh instead of being oblivious to the fact?
Whatever it was, you couldn't let it keep you up at night or pick at your brain when the room was silent, since it practically became a routinely thing of worrying. Whether or not Sam was concerned, you knew it would be in your best, and his interest to not bring it up and leave it be.
⊱ ━━━━.⋅ εïз ⋅.━━━━ ⊰
taglist: @gvfleetwood @sacredjake @aureatopia @myeyehurtz @alexiagx @objectsinspvce @unhappycylinder @spinthehemmo @carbonwritingthroughtime
-part three-
#greta van fleet#danny wagner#josh kiszka#jake kiszka#sam kiszka#sammy kiszka#danny gvf#jake gvf#josh gvf#sam gvf#josh kiszka x reader#josh kiszka x y/n#josh kiszka fanfic#josh kiszka fanfiction#josh kiszka smut#josh kiszka fluff#josh kiszka fic#josh kiszka series#endless summer#sam kiszka fanfic#sam kiszka fanfiction#sam kiszka x reader#jake kiszka fanfic#jake kiszka fanfiction#gvf#sam kiszka x y/n#endless summer fanfic#sammy gvf#josh kiszka x you#josh kiszka greta van fleet
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somethin' stupid (like i love you)
pairing: sam x reader | word count: 5.3k | warnings: kissing, language, alcohol consumption | my masterlist
summary: you and sam have been best friends for years, but the presence of three little unsaid words could be enough to tear you apart.
author's note: Y'ALL this is my longest fic ever like what is happeningggg?? anyways, this fic is almost entirely unedited aside from whatever grammarly told me to fix lol but i love her anyways. i was unsure of how to format this, and i was kinda worried that it was corny, but i think i'm really happy with this one. it makes me so very soft. also it's based off of the song somethin' stupid, which is one of my songs of all time and is also linked below!
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The icy night air stung your cheeks as it whipped around you, making your hair tumble from its carefully done style, and you were sure that you would wake up with a cold in the morning with the way the weather turned you into a sniffling mess. You guessed it was partially your fault for not grabbing a jacket when you and Sam had snuck your way from the cramped, sweltering space of your high school gym, but in your defense, you hadn’t had a lot of time to think it over. You were laughing and dancing with one of your friends, swaying with giddy delight when you felt a hand grasp your own. After whipping around, you saw that it was your best friend, his expression pleading as he made his request.
“Let’s get out of here,” he had said, and you followed without a single question as to why. Next thing you knew, you were walking hand-in-hand down the empty streets, wandering aimlessly in silence. Occasionally, you would hear a quiet sniffle from him, and you couldn’t be sure if it was a product of the environment or something else entirely.
After many minutes of wordless strolling, the two of you came across a playground. Void of any of the childish giggles and shrieks it usually fosters, it was almost an eerie sight. Still, you went with Sam as he turned toward the old, rusty swing set. The seat creaked as he sat down, and the chain on yours squeaked as it gave with your weight. You turned to your friend, studying the serious expression he wore as he gazed downward and kicked the pebbles that littered the ground below him.
“You okay?” you prompted, hoping for him to open up. He kept his eyes away from your own but held his hand out beside him. You reached your own out to him, and he linked his pinky with yours. It was a small gesture, but it didn’t go unnoticed by you. Even when he was hurting, Sam was sure to give you reassuring bits of affection, making it clear that it wasn’t you he was upset with.
“She dumped me,” he finally said after a long moment. His voice lacked any of its characteristic light, and his eyes stayed trained on the ground. The long waves of his thick hair hung like curtains that obscured his face from your view, something you figured he was grateful for.
You sighed and reached out a sympathetic hand, resting it on his arm. “Oh, Sam,” you mumbled, “Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“I know. That’s not your fault. I didn’t tell you. I… couldn’t,” he answered, his voice quiet and strained.
A moment of silence fell between you as you took in what he had said. “Why?” you finally asked, and you could feel the weight of the question hanging in the air the minute you uttered it.
Sam let out a long sigh before answering. “Because… you never liked her anyway. I thought if I told you, you’d just rub it in my face that you were right.”
His confession hit you like a ton of bricks as you say there, feeling like the biggest jerk in the world. “Oh, shit, Sam. I… I never meant to make you feel like that. I’m sorry,” you whispered, “Fuck, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay,” he replied through a deep breath. You knew he could tell how bad you felt. Sam was always so in tune with your emotions, quick to lift you up when you were down, but in this moment, you couldn’t let him do that.
“No, it’s not,” you corrected, shaking your head, “It’s really not, Sam. I’ve been a shitty friend. I thought that I was looking out for you, but I was just being a jealous asshole. I think seeing you so happy with someone else… it made me feel left out, y’know? But that’s not your problem, it’s mine. I made you feel like you couldn’t talk to me about your relationship, and that’s messed up. I’m sorry.” You turned to face him and were surprised when he was already looking at you.
His grip on your pinky moved to your entire hand as he laced his fingers with yours. He wore a gentle smile as he shook his head softly. “No need for an apology. I already forgave you, silly,” he mumbled, brushing stray hairs from your forehead. His hand cradled the back of your head and pulled you forward. You sighed softly as his lips grazed your temple. “I could never stay mad at you, y’know,” he said quietly.
You nodded. “I know,” you teased, “You love me too much.”
He let out a small chuckle and looked down at you. “You got that right. You’re the best friend I have,” he answered. His arm rested across your shoulder, pulling the two of you close despite the groans of the swings you occupied. You tilt your head up, your chin resting on his chest as you meet his gaze. You wished that you could keep this moment in a capsule and return to it over and over again, but you knew that there was more that needed to be said.
“Sam? You wanna talk about it? The breakup, I mean,” you offered, not wanting to pry but also desperately wanting to be there for him.
He gave his head a small shake as he continued to smile down at you. “Nah, it’s okay. I kinda knew it was coming.,” he explained, “She was pulling back. I just tried to ignore it. Told myself I was making it up, y’know?” He said it more like a fact than a question, punctuating it all with a long sigh.
“I’m sorry,” you replied, unsure of what else to say. You looked down at his hand in yours, turning it over and examining his long, slender fingers. You thought about how funny it was that even up close Sam was so beautiful and warm. He was perfect down to each minutia of his being. Your fingers traced along his knuckles, transfixed in the dips and curves between them. You grazed his fingertips and felt the rough calluses that had formed there from years of practice and passion. It was like you had fallen into your own private world as you stared at the canvas of your best friend’s palm.
A small chuckle from Sam pulled you from your daze, his laughter vibrating through his chest and flowing into you. You wore an expression that fell somewhere between amusement and confusion as you looked up at him. “What?” you asked with a soft giggle.
He shook his head as he held his fond expression. “Nothing,” he answered, “You look pretty when you’re all focused like that. Your brows get all scrunched, and your face gets all serious.” He tried and failed to mimic your expression, falling into a fit of wild, bubbling laughter.
You rolled your eyes and gave him a playful look. “That doesn’t sound pretty, Sam,” you chided jokingly, “You make me look like a doofus.” You shoved him lightly, making him only laugh harder.
He shook his head, fighting off his persistent chuckling as he placed his hand on your cheek and tucked a windswept strand of hair behind your ear. “Trust me, sweetheart. You look so pretty right now,” he whispered. Your heart jumped at how shamelessly he said it, making it impossible to not believe him. You swallowed thickly in an attempt to calm your racing pulse.
“Yeah?” you questioned teasingly, “You’re not too bad yourself, y’know.” Your cheeks felt hot as you said it, and you could feel creeping regret encompass you as you were suddenly afraid that you had gone too far and ruined the moment, but a small laugh from Sam calmed you instantly in a way that only he seemed able to do.
He mirrored your question, “Yeah?” His gaze pierced your own, freezing you in place despite your desire to look away and hide your growing bashfulness. You felt completely bare before him, like he was seeing every piece of you, and you weren’t sure if you could handle it or if you even wanted to. Just when it became too much to bear and you moved to turn away, you felt Sam’s fingers grip your chin, keeping you facing him. “You scared?” He asked quietly, his voice even and sincere.
You hesitated before answering, unsure of what the honest answer was. Your heart was racing faster than it ever had, and you felt like you were seconds away from passing out, but as you stared up at Sam, you had never felt safer. You were scared out of your mind, but you knew that he would never lead you astray. You shook your head. “I’m alright, Sam,” you answered shakily.
He smiled softly. “Good,” he cooed as he leaned forward, stopping when his lips were only centimeters from yours. His eyes flitted up to meet your own, silently giving you one last chance to back out. You let out a nervous breath and smiled at him before closing the gap between you, hesitantly locking your lips with his. You heard Sam gasp quietly in surprise, and he stayed still for a moment of pure shock before kissing you back in earnest. His hand on your cheek moved to the back of your neck, pulling you close with all of the gentle passion in his body. You squeezed his hand as you sighed softly into his kiss. Everything around you melted away. There was no playground, no icy wind, and no pressure to be anything but yourself. It didn’t matter where this went or what it would mean for you and Sam tomorrow. All that mattered was this beautiful, messy, perfect moment between the two of you as you made your undefined and unexplored love for each other tangible between squeaky swings and shuffling rocks.
*
Sam may not be right about a lot of things, but he sure was right about one: you really needed to learn to pace your drinking. You stumbled about Josh’s house, placing your hands on empty walls, wobbly shelves, and innocent party-goers in an attempt to steady yourself. Occasionally, you would spot someone you recognized and slur out a desperate “Where’s Sammy?” to which you would get pointed in a direction that never seemed to be where he actually was. After a few minutes of aimless wandering you gave up and decided to make your way to the kitchen. Your stomach had been growling endlessly for about fifteen minutes, and you had ignored it for just about as long as you could in your drunken state. As you crossed the threshold into the kitchen, your foot caught onto a statue near the entryway, sending you tumbling downward. You yelped and braced yourself for impact, but at the last moment, you felt strong hands grip your arm and waist and pull you back up. You mumbled out a quick thanks before turning towards your savior and seeing a familiar face.
“Oh, Sammy!” you gasped, “There you are! I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” You giggled softly and pulled him into a crushing hug, making it his turn to give a surprised yelp, which was followed promptly by his signature, good-natured laugh.
“Looking for me? What do ya need me for?” he asked. He kept a hand on each of your arms as he talked to you, making sure you didn’t take another dive toward the hardwood floors.
You stared blankly for a moment before shrugging. “Don’t remember,” you answered before a look of realization crossed your face, “Oh, yeah, I’m drunk. And hungry.” Your stomach growled loudly, cementing your latter point. “See?” you added, pointing to your belly.
He let out a bark of laughter before he looked at you with a smug grin. “Lemme guess, you didn’t listen when I said that doing all those shots with Jake and Josh was a bad idea, huh?” his voice had a tinge of prideful victory, and it was putting a serious damper on your excitement at finding him.
You let out a groan and stuck your lip out in a pout. “It’s their birthday, Sammy. What kind of friend would I be if I turned down shots?”
“A sober friend,” he countered with a chuckle, “Besides, they’re professional alcoholics. No one can keep up with them.” He pulled you into his side and ruffled your hair slightly.
“Hey!” you whined, swatting his hand away from your now-tangled hair, “You know, I think you only say that no one can keep up with Jake and Josh because you’re a lightweight.” You look up at him, wiggling your eyebrows in an act of challenging playfulness.
He rolled his eyes. “Watch it there, sweets. Don’t wanna bite the hand that keeps you from falling on your ass,” he quipped, his grip on your waist tightening slightly as he felt you shift your weight from one foot to the other.
“Whatever,” you dismissed with a scoff, “You know I’m right, though. That’s why you never drink much at these parties.” Now it was your turn to look up at him smugly, your nose scrunching slightly.
He brought his other hand forward and tapped the tip of your nose with his index finger playfully. “You wish,” he said with a smirk, “I don’t drink because I know you’re gonna get wasted and beg me for a ride home. What you gotta say about that one?” His gaze on you was triumphant as he expectantly waited for you to answer.
You opened your mouth to protest but stopped as your cheeks flushed, and your face grew into a half-hearted glare. “Can we get Taco Bell on the way home?” you finally asked defeatedly.
You felt Sam shake with laughter as he nodded, “Sure,” he agreed, “Now, c’mon, let’s go say bye to everyone. Don’t wanna be bad guests, now do we?” You nodded in reply, and he started to guide you out of the kitchen in search of his brothers. Finding them proved to be anything but a difficult feat, considering that all it took to find Josh was to listen for the loudest person and head in their direction. Jake, of course, was right beside his twin, Josh’s arm wrapped affectionately around his shoulders. After wishing them goodbye and a happy birthday and assuring them that while, yes, you’d love to stay, you really did have to go home, you set your sights on finding Danny. He was just as easy to find as the twins, pouring himself another drink and making friendly conversation with some of the other guests. You and Sam bid him farewell and began to make your way out of the house. You clung desperately to Sam’s side as you made it through the living room, and only three extra goodbyes and one near-faceplant later, the two of you had made it outside and all the way to Sam’s car. He unlocked the car and opened the passenger door for you, helping you climb inside.
“Thank you, Sammy,” you mumbled, “You’re a real sweetheart.” You gave him an affectionate pat on the arm, which he returned before shutting the car door and moving to the driver’s side.
“Alright,” he said as he sat behind the wheel, “You ready to go? Got your seatbelt buckled?”
You gave a gasp of realization, “Oh!” The seatbelt made a loud zipping sound as you pulled it across your body. Sam watched with fond amusement as you tried again and again to click the buckle into place, finally nailing it on your fourth try. “Got it!” you exclaimed, all giggles and excitement.
He laughed along with you as he backed out of Josh’s driveway and set off down the road. You let the time pass between you, an ever-flowing stream of consciousness pouring from you as you shared anything and everything on your mind. Sam listened to every word, never interrupting or making you feel silly for your drunken rambles. It was the kind of thing that you’d really appreciate and probably comment on if you were a little more sober.
Eventually, you felt the car slow down as Sam pulled into the Taco Bell drive-thru. An excited squeal left your throat as the car rolled to a stop. He rolled down the window, and a few moments later the metallic voice rang through the speaker, asking for your order. You heard Sam ask for a moment before he turned to you with a lopsided grin. “Alright, what are you having, sweets?” he asked.
You gave a loud, exaggerated hum as you thought it over, staring at the menu through the windshield. “Ummm, quesadillas,” you finally answered, “Oh, and a Mountain Dew, please. A big one.” You held your hands up and mimed the shape of a comically large drink. Sam rolled his eyes and chuckled softly in response, ordering quickly and driving up to the window. You leaned over and reached down for your purse. As you picked it up with a victorious huff, you stuffed your hand inside, fishing around for your wallet. However, your movements stopped when you felt Sam’s hand on your arm.
“Don’t worry about it,” he told you, shaking his head as he pulled out his own wallet from his pocket. He moved to take out his card but stopped with a sigh as you shoved a few bills his way.
“Lemme pay, Sammy,” you pleaded, “People are gonna think I’m a gold digger if you’re always buying.” You hoped your attempt at a joke would make him give in, but it seemed that the odds weren’t in your favor as he shook his head again, pushing the bills away.
“Nice try,” he said as he handed his card to the woman at the window, “Besides, we’re not even dating. No one’s gonna call you a gold digger.” He laughed, mostly to himself, and took his receipt from the cashier. You pouted slightly as you heard her tell him to pull into a parking spot, letting him know that the food would be out in a few minutes.
You were about to open your mouth to complain about how hungry you were, but when you looked at Sam, the thought was erased from your mind. The glow of the parking lot lights washed across his features, making them seem beautifully sculpted and impossibly soft all at once. His lips looked plush and full as he sang along quietly to the radio, and the way his lashes fluttered with every blink was enough to make your heart beat out of your chest.
Before you could stop yourself, you reached out with one hand, gently touching his cheek. “You’re so pretty, Sammy,” you whispered as your thumb brushed along the smooth skin of his cheek. He laughed softly and thanked you, but you shook your head, feeling a burning need to make him understand. “No, I mean it,” you insisted, “You’re beautiful. The light makes your face look so good.” You leaned over the center console, craving to be close to him.
You didn’t notice the soft flush of his cheeks, but you felt his hand grab yours softly and place it back in your lap. “Thanks, sweetheart,” he answered with a small smile playing across his lips, “You look really nice, too. Even if you’re a little sauced.”
You sigh, ignoring his playful dig at your current state. Your gaze stayed trained on him for a few more lingering moments. “You look the way you did in the playground that one time,” you mumbled, and you felt your cheeks heat up even as you said it.
“Yeah?” he asked, tensing slightly and gripping the steering wheel tighter with his left hand, his right one drumming on the gear shift.
You nodded. “Yeah. I think about it a lot. Do you?” you asked with such unfiltered candor that Sam couldn’t deny you the truth.
“Yeah. Sometimes,” he uttered, his eyes staying trained forward, unable to face you. It was only when he felt your soft grip on his chin that he turned.
“I wanna kiss you, Sam,” you blurted. The words hung in the air, and you desperately wanted to take them back, but it was too late, and as much as you could try to deny it in the morning, they were all true.
He searched your face for a few seconds, confusion and heartbreak dancing over his features. “No, you don’t, sweets. You’re drunk,” he muttered with a shake of his head, “You’re just getting in your head and saying things that you don’t mean.” His hand firmly but gently gripped your wrist, pushing your hand away. You moved it back immediately, your face holding a look of vulnerable want.
“No,” you protested softly, “Drunk or sober, this is what I want. I just… I’ve never been brave enough to say it before. Please, Sam, you know I love you.” You leaned forward slightly, praying to whatever powers that be that maybe he would feel the same way, but he only shook his head, placing his hand over yours.
His voice came out in a pained whisper, punctuated with a shake of his head, “I love you, too.” They were the exact words you wanted to hear, but you never knew how painful they could be. What you thought would be a heartfelt confession became the biggest rejection of your life. You opened your mouth to speak back, to ask why he didn’t want you if he loved you so much, but you were cut off as a woman approached the car, knocking on the window and handing Sam your food. You sat in a terrible silence as he placed your drink in the cup holder and handed you the brown paper bag. He stared ahead for a moment before sighing and putting on a half-hearted smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
“Alright, sweets. Let’s get you home.” And just like that, the moment was over.
*
Hot tears poured down your cheeks, burning your skin and making you choke with every sob. You wiped your nose with your sleeve, not caring how gross you would normally find the habit. Your knees were pulled tightly to your chest as you sat perched on your couches. After a few moments, your breathing slowly evened out, and you took a deep breath before reaching for your phone, dialing quickly and praying for an answer.
“Hey, sweetheart,” you heard Sam’s voice from the other line, full of cheer and affection. The sound of him alone was enough to pull fresh tears from you, pouring out in loud cries. He responded immediately with concern, “What’s wrong?” His question was simple. He never pushed too far, and it was something you appreciated now more than ever.
You sniffled loudly for a few moments before answering. “I dumped Austin,” you sobbed, “Can you please come over?”
“I’ll be there in ten minutes. Do you need anything?” He asked, his answer swift and to the point.
After a few moments of silent thought, you whimpered back, shaking your head, “No, just get here as soon as you can, please.” Your grip on your phone was tight and desperate as if holding it close would bring Sam to you faster.
“Alright. I’ll be there soon. You hang in tight, okay? I love you,” he cooed, slowly easing your nerves, making your breath still.
“Okay,” you sighed, “Thank you, Sammy. I love you, too.” You hung up the phone and took a deep breath. All you wanted was to ball back up on the couch and scream, but you decided that you should try getting yourself together before Sam arrived. You were sure he wouldn’t mind if you were a blubbering mess, but it wasn’t like he could help you much if you could barely speak.
You walked into your kitchen, throwing open your freezer and grabbing a tub of ice cream. It made a soft thudding sound as you dropped it unceremoniously onto the counter and swung the door to the freezer closed. Next, you pulled open the drawer nearest to the stove, grabbing a spoon for yourself and an extra one for Sam. The old barstool that was posed near your kitchen island screeched as you dragged it towards you, and it creaked loudly when you sat upon it. You mentally reminded yourself to look for new barstools and yanked the lid off of the ice cream, scooping a large spoonful and shoving it into your mouth. The sugar truly did little to lift your spirits, but at least it didn’t make you feel worse. At least that was what you were telling yourself when you heard a knock at the door, signaling Sam’s arrival.
You got up from your place at the counter and plodded to the door. As you opened it and saw your friend’s face, you fell into his arms in a tight, bone-crushing hug. “Hey, Sammy,” you mumbled into his chest.
“Hey there, sweetheart,” he answered. You felt his hand splayed out across your back, rubbing up and down in a comforting gesture. After a moment, he spoke again. “You okay?” he asked, his voice full of gentle concern.
You let out a long sigh. “Yes. No. I don’t really know,” you whined, “I feel so bad, Sam. He had no clue it was coming.” Your head fell forward, landing in your palms as you rubbed your temples in frustration and uncertain grief. You slowly moved back to the kitchen and plopped back into your chair.
“I thought things were going really well,” Sam asked, following you and sitting beside you at the counter.
You nod as you take another bite of ice cream and nudge the extra spoon in his direction. “It was. I mean, he was so sweet and nice. He would come to all my family stuff, even when he knew he didn’t have to, and he was always doing all these sweet little things to make sure I knew he cared. Flowers, chocolates, the whole nine yards, y’know? He was the best boyfriend I ever had,” you shared, one long stream of consciousness pouring out of you.
Sam sat in silence for a moment, taking in what you had to say. Then, he gave a long sigh and finally answered, “I don’t understand then, sweets. Why’d you dump him?”
It was your turn to give a sigh in response, paired now with a shake of your head. “I didn’t love him,” you said quietly, “I tried. I tried so hard to love him. I mean, why not, y’know? He was a nice guy, the kinda guy I should consider myself lucky to be with. But I just couldn’t do it. No matter how hard I tried.” Tears started to roll down your cheeks again and your shoulders started to shake as Sam pulled you into a tight embrace, resting his chin on the top of your head.
“Hey, it’s alright. You don’t have to love anyone. You know that? Besides, any guy who’s with you is the lucky one, not the other way around,” he cooed sweetly to you as he gently patted you on the back, swaying slightly.
You gave a small huff, leaning into Sam’s embrace. “It’s like this every time. I meet a nice guy, and I try to love them, I really do, and it always just blows up in my face. God, what’s wrong with me?” you cried as you buried your face into the crook of his shoulder.
He shushed you softly, “Oh, now, come on. You know nothing’s wrong with you. You’re the best gal I know, and you shouldn’t try to force yourself to love anybody. That’s not the way to go about it. It’s not fair to yourself.” You felt his head tilt downward to look at you. “What’re you doing trying to make yourself love all these guys anyway?” he asked, no mocking tone in his voice, only a genuine desire to understand.
“It’s embarrassing, Sam,” you replied with a shake of your head, “I can’t….” Your sentence trailed off and you kept your face pressed against his body, unable to answer.
He nodded, “Alright. That’s fine. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, but just try to remember that things are gonna work out, okay? You’re gonna find someone out there who’s gonna really knock your socks off.” A small chuckle rumbled in his chest as he tried to slowly lift your spirits.
“No, I won’t, Sam,” you muttered, “I’ve tried over and over. It’s not gonna work out for me.”
Your words only made him tighten his grip on you. “Now, that’s crazy talk,” he chided softly, “Why would you think a thing like that?”
“Because you don’t love me.”
Your words hung between the two of you, Sam being the first to cut through the thick tension they left behind. “What?” he asked, his voice bearing incredulous confusion, “Of course I love you. I tell you I love you all the time.”
You gave a frustrated groan and pulled yourself away from him. “God, Sam, you just don’t get it. I don’t mean love like that. I mean love. You might love me, Sam, but you don’t want me. Not the way I want you.”
A painfully loud, blaring silence filled the room as the weight of what you said rested on the man before you. He didn’t say a word, his eyes staying locked on the floor.
“See?” you continued, “I’ve always loved you, Sam. I thought it was pass, but… fuck, I love you, Sam. And you just don’t love me. You never did.”
You opened your mouth to say more but was cut short as you felt warm, soft lips pressed against your own. Your body went rigid with shock for a moment before melting into Sam’s kiss. Deep, hungry sighs of relief flowed between the two of you as you desperately grabbed at each other. His tongue slotted itself between your lips, coming to meet with your own as his hands combed through your hair, gentle need filling him as he cradled you to his being. Your hands rested upon his shoulders and acted as an anchor to prove to yourself that this was real and not some sick joke your brain was playing on you.
After you could hardly breathe and had exhausted yourself in the raw passage of love you shared, you pulled back, looking Sam in the eyes. “I’ve always loved you,” he confessed, “I loved you since that night we kissed our senior year. I just… I was scared. The way I feel about you, it’s bigger than me. Hell, it’s bigger than the both of us put together, and I was scared that if I told you, if I really put my money where my mouth is and just laid it all out, it would ruin what we had. I could never afford to lose you. I still can’t. I just always told myself that I’d do whatever it takes to keep you around, even if it meant I couldn’t love you the way I wanted.”
You were almost moved to tears at his words as you pulled him close, hugging him tighter than you ever had before. “Oh, Sam, you’re so stupid. Stupid and wonderful. How could I ever not love you? And how could a love like ours ever go bad?” You tilted your head up and kissed him again, feeling so free just to know that you could.
A loud laugh rumbled through his chest as he held you and kissed you back. “Yeah, I guess love makes us all a little stupid, doesn’t it?” he asked and looked down at you, his playful, lopsided smile plastered to his face.
You giggled with unbridled delight. “I guess you’re right on that one,” you conceded, “At least we can be stupid together, right?”
“Right,” he answered, leaning in and kissing you sweetly. You smiled into his kiss, happy in the fact that you and Sam were both incredibly, undeniably stupid and unmistakably, absolutely in love.
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#mal writes#sam kiszka#sam gvf#sam kiszka x reader#sam kiszka x you#sam kiszka x y/n#sammy kiszka#sammy gvf#sammy kiszka x reader#sammy kiszka x you#sammy kiszka x y/n#sam kiszka fanfic#gvf fanfic#greta van fleet#gvf#Spotify
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Connection: Part 1
Sammy x (F) Reader
A smidge of Danny x (F) Reader
Word Count: 4.7k
Warnings: 18+, (F) oral, (F)&(M) masturbation, unprotected sex, squirting, choking
Summary: Enemies to lovers, Sam used to be your best friend, now your sworn enemy
Part 2
“You cannot be serious Daniel,” you huffed out.
Today had been such a great day. It was fall, your favorite season. The crisp yellow and red leaves covered the ground. The cool air wrapped around your body like a blanket. The sweet smell of spiced pumpkin swirled through your apartment. You were perfectly content and nothing could ruin your mood. That was until you came home.
“Daniel..You only call me that when you’re actually angry with me,” Danny laughed at you.
That’s because you were actually angry with Danny, you were furious. Danny’s best friend had been dumped, or rather kicked out. He shared an apartment with his girlfriend who’s name no one had bothered to remember. It was no surprise that no one liked her, he always had a terrible choice in women. He never stuck with them more than a few months, so there was no sense in getting close to any of them even if you wanted to, which you didn’t.
You had no idea how your sweet Danny could be friends with someone like Sam. Samuel Kiszka. Just thinking about him made you sick to your stomach. You hated being around him socially, you only put up with him for Danny. But you would not allow him to be a guest in your home, absolutely not. You would not stand for this.
Of course Danny would open your home up for Sam. You and Danny had gotten a place together about a year ago. You and Danny were long time friends, anywhere that Danny was Sam was sure to follow. A few years ago you actually considered Sam a close friend of yours, a best friend even. He was sweet and charming. You weren’t blind, he was attractive to say the least. You might have even had something of a crush on him, possibly more than a crush. Somewhere along the lines though, you and Sam grew apart, and by grew apart you meant more like mortal enemies.
It was around the time that you and Danny decided to move in together. Everything changed after that. At first he just started to be distant in small ways. He didn’t want to hang out as much. He stopped hugging you or holding a conversation with you. Then it became like he did everything in his power to be as far away from you as possible. You had no idea what you had done, anytime that you attempted to get some kind of explanation out of him he did all that he could to get out of the conversation. After a while you gave up on trying to figure out what went wrong. The feelings he had for you became mutual. Ever since then he was your enemy and that was that. It was like you had no history, like you hadn’t been best friends a year ago.
“Come on Y/n, it won’t even be for that long,” Danny gave you his best doe eyes.
“You didn’t even ask me,” you rolled your eyes. You knew Danny would win this. Despite your hate for Sam, you had a weakness for Danny, and he was well aware of this.
“Because I knew what you would say, you won’t even notice that he’s here.”
“I won’t notice he’s even here? You must be joking. We can hardly stand in the same room together. I give us one night before we kill each other,” you laughed out at him even though you were more than serious.
“Well, he’ll be here any minute so I guess I’ll go hide the knives,” Danny said half jokingly while making his way around the house to check for anything that could be used as a weapon.
Just as you were hoping that Sam would find literally anywhere else to stay, the door to your apartment swung open. You could feel your blood begin to boil. You watched as he waltzed right in like he owned the place. He shot you a shit eating grin, but didn’t even grant you a simple “hello”. He plopped right down onto your couch.
“Make yourself at home why don’t you?” you said not even looking in his direction. You were thinking maybe since you were doing him a favor he would treat you with some decency, possibly even thank you for allowing him to stay. Of course you were wrong. He knew you didn’t want him here.
He ignored your presence and started talking with Danny. You weren’t going to let him ruin your night, so you made your way to your room. “Goodnight Danny!” You made sure to only direct your attention to him. “Goodnight Y/n,” Danny called back to you, giving you a light smile.
“What, no goodnight for me, actually not even a hello, maybe a welcome? You wound me Y/n.” Sam dramatically called out.
“Why welcome you when you’re not really welcome here?” You ignored him and went to bed for the night, sleeping peacefully knowing that Sam was a bit bothered by how well you ignored him.
You woke up the next morning to the smell of breakfast being cooked. Danny was the chef of the house. You couldn’t make a meal to save your life, so thank goodness for him. You walked into the kitchen wearing an oversize t-shirt and your underwear. This was how you dressed when you were at home. If you were home you were going to be in your comfiest clothes, after all you were just lounging around, no need to be all dressed up.
“Good Morning Petal,” Danny said as he made you a plate of pancakes. You couldn’t help but to giggle at him. He had gifted you with that nickname after meeting you. You were standing under a tree that had rained flower petals down into your hair, it was cheesy really, but it always made you blush coming from him.
You never understood how someone could be so cheery first thing in the morning. You were the complete opposite, an absolute grouch. You were enjoying your peaceful morning with Danny when the demon emerged from the hallway. Sam didn’t bother looking at you or even greeting you. He fixed his plate of breakfast and sat down by Danny at the bar. The room fell silent, poor Danny tried to make small talk, it was a failed attempt. You could’ve cut through the tension with a knife.
Not a sound was made until you stood up to take your plate to the sink and you heard coughing. You turned around to see what all of the commotion was about. Sam was red faced and trying to get a hold of himself. “Forget how to eat Kiszka?” You did make sure he was alright, not that you would’ve jumped to give him the heimlich. He didn’t give you some snarky comment like he normally would, instead he was looking you up and down. His eyes were glued to you.
You chose to ignore it, thinking that he was just jostled up from choking. Danny didn’t take notice of Sam's weird behavior, he was too busy laughing at him. You cleaned up the kitchen and went to your room to shower and start your day. You went to leave for work, Sam was still sitting at the bar, “Leave any hot water for the rest of us?”
“I left hot water for those of us who actually live here and pay the bills here,” you shot back before walking out of the door.
You owned a flower shop just fifteen minutes from your house, which was ironic given your nickname from Danny. He hadn’t even known that you owned the flower shop at the time. You actually met Danny, and eventually Sam, because they owned a record store across the street. It was storming one afternoon and you’d only just moved to town and you didn’t know a single person. You had waited for the rain to slack up and walked outside to check on things and bumped into Danny underneath a pink Crape Myrtle tree and he instantly became your first friend.
Your lunches used to be spent with the three of you, now of course it was just you and Danny. Now anytime you came over to see him you and Sam kept your distance. You assumed that today would be no different, you made your way across the street for your regularly scheduled lunch break with Danny. Oddly enough, instead of Sam’s usual choice of ignoring you he was snarkier than ever.
“Don’t you have any other friends to spend your lunch with? I mean we see enough of you at home as it is,” Sam called from the back of the store.
“Home? When did you start paying bills?” you retorted. Of course he was going to pick a fight with you. You knew it was going to be even worse with Sam staying at your house.
Sam walked up to the front and had lunch with you and Danny for the first time in at least a year. He continued to do everything in his power to make your blood boil. This was odd behavior to say the least. Danny gave you a weird look with his eyes. You just shrugged, you were dumbfounded.
When you got home that evening you went straight to your room for the night. Sam wasn’t nice to you or anything, he was snarkier than ever. But for the last year he had done all that he could to make sure that the two of you wouldn’t even breathe the same oxygen and he just sat with you at lunch. Like it was nothing.
You had almost dozed off when Danny came bursting through your bedroom door. “What are you doing sleeping? It’s our movie night!”
You had almost forgotten, you and Danny had movie night once a week to unwind and catch up. “That’s right and it’s my turn to pick!”
“Oh shit, maybe I shouldn’t have reminded you, you’ll have us watching something scary or Harry Potter.”
“Just go start the popcorn and I’ll look for something to watch. We are going to be alone right?” you were praying that you would finally get some alone time with Danny, or just some time without Sam looking around.
“Of course Petal, it’s our movie night just for us I promise,” Danny reassured you.
You finally settled on a movie, Scream, your favorite. You snuggled up into Danny’s arms. You were surprised that he didn’t complain about your choice. After the movie was over you caught up on your week and had some snacks. Danny wanted to watch another movie and you definitely wanted more alone time with him since Sam had been in the way lately. You stayed up almost all night when you both dozed off the couch with the next Scream movie still playing. You and Danny were cozied up, arms around each other, as usual. When you were rudely awakened by the front door slamming and the unmistakable sound of Sam’s huffing and puffing.
“Well isn’t this just adorable,” Sam gestured to you and Danny’s sleeping position, “I must have missed my invite to movie night.”
This had clearly gotten under Danny’s skin, which was very rare. He was always the one to referee you and Sam. He always kept a cool head. “You would have gotten an invite if you were wanted here, but you didn't, did you? Maybe if you were nice to Y/n once in a while, but you just can’t seem to do that.”
You were shocked that Danny had said that. He was always a ray of sunshine, even when he was angry with someone he never actually spoke up. Sam was just as shocked as you. He was left speechless. You had never seen Sam left without words, he always had a snarky comment ready to fire back. You were happy that he had finally spoken up to Sam, but still dumbfounded with Danny’s response. Sam retreated to his room and stayed there for the rest of the night.
A few weeks had gone by and things had cooled down. Sam and Danny were perfectly fine as suspected. Danny hadn’t brought anything up and you definitely weren’t about to. Sam hadn’t said a single word to you since that night, which was fine by you. He had gone back to keeping his distance and keeping his snarkiness to himself.
It was their five year anniversary of owning the record store together. Of course they had to throw a party. They always found an excuse to have a party of some sort. You spent the next week helping Danny plan it. It would be at your home of course.
The night of the party was filled with mostly people you knew. All of them through Danny and Sam. Their brothers Jake and Josh were usually the life of the party and you loved their company. You had gotten pretty close with them when you and Sam were at your closest. Everyone was dancing and mingling and of course drinking.
You spent most of the night with Danny, the guest of honor. You hadn’t thought of Sam hardly at all over the last few weeks. Even though he was still staying with you and Danny, he kept his distance. But tonight after a few drinks you thought if you went to congratulate him maybe the waters would finally settle around the two of you. You didn’t have much interest in being friends again, but you knew it mattered to Danny.
You knew he didn’t deserve a moment of your time or breath. You scanned the crowd to find that Sam’s eyes were already on you. You walked over to him, “Hi Sam, I just wanted to say congratulations, I am proud of the both of you.”
He looked confused that you had even interacted with him, almost stunned, “U-uh thanks Y/n.”
It was silly, but for a moment you swore that you saw the Sam that you used to know and care for. His eyes were softer and kinder, rather than filled with hate and rage. You walked away and spent the rest of the night with Danny and his brothers. After the majority of the crowd cleared out you started to clean up a bit while Danny and Sam said their goodbyes. All that was left was you, Sam, Danny, Jake, and Josh. You all sat around talking and drinking the night away. Once you settled into your safe place, Danny’s arms, you almost dozed off. But you turned when you heard Sam scoff directly at you and abruptly head to his room. He didn’t even speak to his brothers. “What the hell was that about?” Jake drunkenly laughed.
Danny just shrugged and gave a strange look to everyone. A little bit later you got up to go to the bathroom, passing by Sam’s room on your way. The door was cracked open and you thought heard a voice from inside. You went to make your way to the bathroom, but then you heard your name. Your name followed by moans. You slowly peeped inside to see if your ears were playing tricks on you. They were not. You slid in undetected to see Sam, who supposedly hated you with every bit of his being, with his hand wrapped around his cock. He almost looked beautiful. He looked vulnerable. He looked like the Sam you knew. He was laid down flat on his back, his eyes squeezed shut, and whispering your name to himself while he pleasured himself. You wouldn’t have believed this if you hadn’t seen it for yourself. This brought your mind into a whirlwind of a spin.
You knew it was wrong to watch this intimate moment, but you couldn’t peel your eyes away. You didn’t want to if you were honest with yourself. You slid back out before he could see you. Jake and Josh left and you and Danny eventually fell asleep snuggled together on the couch. You never mentioned what you saw that night.
Over the next week however, your mind was spinning. You knew that night you had seen just a glimpse of the Sam you used to know, but you definitely did not think that he ever had feelings for you of any kind. It was all that you could think about. That definitely came out of nowhere.
The next movie night rolled around, Danny had called and said that he would be home a little later. So you sat and waited for him, getting some things done around the house. You realized it was the first time in a few months that you had the house all to yourself. This was the perfect opportunity for some much needed release. You had a lot of energy surging through your mind and body in light of recent events.
You headed for your bedroom eagerly. You removed your clothing and got your little pink vibrator out of your bedside drawer. You laid down onto your back on your bed. You began to rub over your body. You realized it had been a bit since you had had some true time with yourself. You slid your middle finger through your slit to find that you were already soaked. You pumped one finger in and out as you ran your vibrator over your clit. You let the thoughts roll through your mind when your mind started to play tricks on you. At first your mind suddenly went to thoughts of Danny. You would never admit that the thought of him had helped you get off more than once. The way that his curls would look wrapped in your fingers and the way that his muscles would flex around you.
Then your mind shifted to Sam. The images of Danny and Sam having their way with you together. You began to clench around your own fingers deep inside of you. Little whimpers escaping your mouth. Then, the only thing that was running through your mind was Sam. You fought it as long and hard as you could. The way he looked and sounded that night that you walked in on him, it was intoxicating. His bare chest with a thin layer of sweat. His long brown hair cascading to his shoulders. How sweet he sounded calling out your name while he took himself to the edge.
It was like you lost all control and began calling out for him just like he had for you. It was pulling you closer and closer to your end. You began screaming his name, your legs shaking uncontrollably as you came. You felt a white hot release and your vision went black. With a heaving chest you opened up your eyes when your breath hitched in your throat. You looked up and in your doorway was an astonished and wet Sam. His eyes wide when they met yours. He had a devilish grin a mile wide plastered onto his face. Your face was red hot by now. You were both silent for a few moments while you were still trying to come down from your high.
What you saw next stunned you even more. You fully expected him to send a snide comment straight your way. Instead, he took his hand to his face, whipping off your release and brought his fingers to his mouth and releasing them with a ‘pop’. “You taste just as sweet as you look.”
“Sam w-what are you doing?” was all that you could sputter out.
“Well I heard you calling for me and I thought something might be seriously wrong since I’m the last person you would call for. And to my surprise I find you spread out all pretty calling for me while you cum,” he said as if this was just a normal and calm conversation between the two of you.
You were not calm, you were astonished and bewildered.
“Whatever you were imagining about me though, I bet the real thing is much better,” Sam said as he slid his shirt off and placed himself onto the bed directly beside you.
You suddenly felt a wave of embarrassment and nerves. You tried to cover yourself with your sheets. Did you even want this? Don’t you hate him? Doesn’t he hate you? You were about to ask a million questions when his warm hand cupped your cheek and his lips met yours. All of the nerves you had felt just a moment ago melted away in an instant. The kiss was slow and sweet at first, then it became dominating. Your teeth were clashing together and your tongues swirled around each other’s mouth. You were exploring each other for the first time. Your hands sliding and grabbing all over one another. You didn’t know what exactly to expect, was this a hate fuck? It was pretty gentle to be a hate fuck.
These thoughts became reality. His hand that once cupped your face so gently made its way to your throat with a tight grip. “Maybe next time I’ll be more gentle with you, but this time I think we both have some aggression we need to release. I’ve wanted this for too long for it to be gentle,” Sam said while he kissed his way to your breasts.
‘Next time’, you thought to yourself.
You were already naked, so he made his way around your body easily. You were over sensitive from your first orgasm, which had led to this situation that you were in now. Every kiss and lick that he gifted you with caused lightning to shoot through your body. You had a purple trail from your neck to your stomach. He licked the inside of your thighs and bit down in the most delicious way. He looked at you for approval, you nodded eagerly.
He made his way to your center. He licked one slow agonizing strip before diving into you like a starving man. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and you let out the most pornographic moan you had ever heard. He licked and sucked like his life depended on it. He looked up at you and you could feel him grinning as he worked his tongue around your sensitive clit. He was clearly pleased with the effect that he was having on you. He looked gorgeous settled in between your thighs. He knew that he had you on the edge. “Sam, please, I need more.”
“I think that you can do better than that,” he teased.
You knew exactly what he wanted. “Sammy please, give me more, I want to feel you.” He had such a weakness for you calling him ‘Sammy’. Which was all that it took. He slammed two fingers into you. He pumped them quickly in and out of you, curling them up in the most delicious way. He was hitting your most delicious spots.
You would’ve been almost embarrassed by the wet and lewd noises that he was pulling from you, but you were both far too deep into the pleasure now. Sam looked up at you with dark and lust filled eyes, “I’ve wanted this for so long, you’re being such a good girl for me.”
If you had been in your right state of mind this would’ve shocked you to your core, but you were barely holding on as it was. “Sammy, I-I’m gonna cum, please let me cum.”
“Cum for me baby, be such a good girl for me and cum all over me.”
This was all that it took for you to come undone around him. You tangled your fingers into his long brown hair. You were tugging it so hard that you were sure that you were hurting him. He didn’t seem to mind as he sucked your clit and worked your through your orgasm. You felt another white hot sensation and were sure that you saw stars. When you came to this time, you saw a delightful picture painted out in front of you. Sam was soaking wet from your release and drinking up every little drop. You could’ve cum again at the sight and sound of this.
He sat up and you helped him remove his constricting pants. When you had seen him some nights ago you didn’t get a chance to see him in all of his glory. Now you could see every perfect inch. The sunlight from your windows was hitting him perfectly. When you pulled down his boxers his cock sprang up slapping his stomach. You had no idea he would be this big. Your eyes almost popped from your skull. It had drops of precum and was throbbing.
You were basically drooling at the thought of tasting him. You went to take him into your mouth, but he swatted you away. You gave him a confused look. “I want you to baby, but next time. I’m afraid if you did right now I would cum immediately and I need to be inside of you.”
There it was again, ‘next time’, you didn’t have time to analyze this before he was crawling on top of you. He dove his tongue into your mouth and you were overwhelmed with the taste of you and him. He lined his cock up with your entrance. He slowly slid in, giving you time to adjust to the delightful sting of the stretch. He buried himself to the hilt. He only gave you a moment before slamming into you. He set a brutal and forceful pace. He was slamming in and out of you, hitting your g-spot perfectly. The room was filled with the sounds of your skin slapping together and your screams and moans. You loved how vocal he was being with you. You loved the effect that you were having on him. Thank goodness you didn’t have neighbors.
You were both covered in sweat and sex. He pounded into you making you call out wildly for him. He swiped his tongue over your lips and bit down, you were sure that he had drawn blood, but you welcomed the sting of the pain.
He slid his hand down in between your bodies to draw circles over your clit. “B-Baby I need you to cum one more time for me.”
“I don’t think I can Sammy,” you tried not to sound as fucked out as you really were.
“Yes you can baby, I want us to cum together. Please cum for me, I know you can.”
With just a few more circles over your clit you came undone around his cock. You had tears rolling down your face and were screaming his name like never before. You tightened around him while he continued to slam into you. “Oh my god Sammy, I-I’m cumming, don’t stop.”
You felt him fill you up with his release as he moaned your name. He sounded even more beautiful than he did those few nights ago. He was right, it was so much better than anything that you could have imagined. You both laid there for a moment while he went soft inside of you. You looked into his eyes and saw your Sammy. The one that you had been longing for even when you didn’t know it.
He gave you a soft and caring smile. You were just about to try and get some answers when you heard the creak of your floorboards. You looked up to see Danny in your doorway. His cock visibly hard. Just like you had found Sam a bit ago.
“To be two people who hate each other, you seem to have had a lot of fun without me,” Danny said with a lustful smirk.
#greta van fleet#greta van fleet smut#greta van smut#sammy kiszka#sam kiszka smut#danny wagner smut#danny wagner#sam kiszka fanfic#sam kiszka gvf#sam kiszka fanfiction#sam kiszka x reader#greta van fleet fanfic#jake kiszka#jake kiszka fanfiction#jake kiszka gvf#jake kiszka smut#jake kiszka x reader#josh kiszka smut#josh kiszka gvf#danny wagner x reader#danny wagner gvf#danny gvf#sam kiszka fic#sam kiskza#samuel kiszka#sam gvf#greta van fic#greta van fleet fic#greta van fleet fan fiction#danny greta van fleet
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Good Girl | SFK
Author’s Note: Request from the lovely @bizzielisteningtogreta for some dom Sammy. Ask and you shall receive, my friend 🫡 This is unbeta’d so sorry for any mistakes. (I wrote this in one sitting so there’s probably a lot lmao)
Summary: After a night of relentless teasing, Sammy shows you who’s really in charge.
Content Warnings: Cussing, talk of being drunk, edging, fingering (f. receiving), oral (m. and f. receiving), p in v sex, unprotected sex, dom Sam. 18+ MINORS DNI
Word Count: 3590
Preview:
“Since you decided to act like a little brat all night, I’m going to treat you like one. And if you’re a good little girl for me, I’ll let you cum. Understood?”
You nod quickly, excitement and adrenaline coursing through your body.
“Words.” He says darkly, eyes filled with lust.
“Yes sir.” You say meekly.
“Good. Now go up to the bedroom, strip, and wait for me.”
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The thing is, you’d been asking for it all night. Sam was always so sweet to everyone, and he rarely got angry or upset – even when his brothers were being particularly annoying. Even in the bedroom, Sam is usually pretty soft – preferring to take his time and treat you “like the princess that you are,” as he often says. But there’s a darker streak in Sammy, brewing under the surface, waiting to be unleashed. And sometimes, you just can’t help but to provoke him in the hopes of getting to him. And tonight you needed it.
You’d started off pretty simple. The two of you were headed to a dinner party – an important one, where lots of influential executives would be present. It was a fancy event, and so you’d chosen to slip into a little dress that you know always drives Sam crazy. It’s the dress that you had worn on your first date with him, and it definitely carried with it some… pleasant memories of your first night together. You stood in front of your floor length mirror, admiring the way the dress accentuated your curves. You felt beautiful. And Sam was quick to agree with you.
“You look divine, y/n.” He’d said, slinking up behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist. “You know I love this dress.”
You turned your head and nuzzled into his cheek.
“I know.” You said simply, before pulling away from him to grab your shoes. You made sure your back was to him as you leaned over, giving him a nice view of your ass. He hummed in approval before leaving to go and grab his keys.
Your next opportunity arose during dinner. He was sitting next to you, his attention on some manager you didn’t know as the guy was sharing a very boring story about something or other. You reached your hand stealthily towards Sam, thankful that the tablecloth could cover what you were about to do, and placed your hand innocently on his thigh and squeezed. He turned to stare at you sharply, but you turned your head away – pretending not to notice as you asked Josh how his day had been. You couldn’t see Sam, but you could easily imagine the way his eyes were probably narrowing at you.
Eventually, he looked away and you took the opportunity to slide your hand farther upwards, brushing your fingertips over his clothed dick. You felt him twitch in his pants and he slammed his knee into the underside of the table. You whipped your hand away as everyone turned to stare at him.
“Sorry, guys.” He muttered, cheeks flaming.
You kept your eyes deliberately pointed away from him the rest of dinner, but you could practically feel the holes his eyes were burning into the side of your head.
It didn’t take long for yet another chance to tease Sam arose. Danny had suggested that the band head out to a little bar down the road to spend some more relaxed quality time with each other. Life tended to get a little crazy for the boys, and they were often looking forward to getting to spend time with each other in places where things were a little more laid back.
“Do you want to come with us?” He’d asked as you all rose from the table.
“Only if you and the guys don’t mind. I wouldn’t want to intrude.”
Sam smiled, the tension from earlier momentarily forgotten.
“We’d love for you to come.” He grinned.
He placed his large hands on your shoulders, sliding behind you to exit the cramped dining area. As he moved, you shifted your hips back into his, sliding your ass against his crotch.
“Oh sorry, babe!” You said as he jerked back. “I didn’t realize you were trying to get around.”
You turned from him quickly and began walking towards the door, glancing back for a moment to see him standing there, rooted in place with his jaw hanging open at you.
“Coming?” You called.
He shook his head and followed.
The bar was a smaller place, far more intimate than the snooty restaurant where you’d eaten. It had a lounge area off to the side of the bar equipped with several tables and chairs and pool tables. Danny and Jake were quick to challenge each other to a round, and Josh declared he would play the winner.
“Wanna play, y/n?” Sam asked, placing his drink down on the table. An idea – a terrible, wonderful idea began to take shape in your head. You slammed back the last of your drink before rising from your seat.
“Sure! But I haven’t ever really learned how to play.”
Sam grinned at you.
“Don’t worry, I’ll show you.”
The two of you walked over to the other pool table and Sam pulled the triangle off its hook, placing it on the table and gathering up all the balls. You grabbed two sticks off their wrack on the wall and handed one to him.
“First things first, someone has to break.” He said, rounding the corner of the table and settling into position. He struck the cue ball, sending all of the others rolling in different directions. A striped one sunk into the far right pocket. “And since I got a striped one in, I’ll be aiming for the striped ones for the rest of the game and you’ll be aiming for the solid ones.”
He walked around the edge and lined his stick up again.
“If you make one in the pocket, you get to keep going until you miss.”
You nodded, fighting to keep your face straight.
“What about the black one?” You asked, cocking your head to the side and giving him your best innocent eyes. “Do you win if you get it in one of the pockets?”
He hit the que again but none went in.
“Not quite. You only try to sink the black one if you’ve gotten all of the others into a pocket. If you hit it in before that, you automatically lose.” He walked over to stand beside you.
“Your turn.”
You lowered yourself, purposefully getting too low and lifting the back end of the pool stick up high.
“Like this?”
“Not quite.” He laughed, coming up behind you and pushing the end of the stick down. “You wanna try and keep this as level as possible, otherwise you’ll hit too low on the ball and it won’t go straight.”
You nod and purposefully miss the que.
“Fuck!” You exclaimed. “Sam, I don’t like this game at all!” You said, turning to face him with a laugh.
“You’re just mad because you’re not automatically good at it.” He gave you a rueful smile. “Try again.”
You got into position, again making sure to get too low towards the table. You drew back to try again but Sam stopped you with a hand on your elbow.
“Wait. Try and straighten your posture a bit. That might help.”
You shuffled your feet even closer to the table.
“Like this?”
“Like this” Sam said and he grabbed your waist and shifted you back slightly. You allowed him to maneuver your body into the proper position. He didn’t move away once you were settled and you took the opportunity to again shove your ass into his crotch, purposefully adding some force to it. Sam let out a choked groan as you struck the que, sinking one of the solids into the pocket.
“Y/n…” Sam whispered dangerously in your ear, lips just barely grazing your skin.
“I did it!” You cried, turning to face him in excitement, doing your best to act as though you had no idea what you had just done. Sam’s eyes met yours, ablaze with thinly concealed anger. You walked away from him, lining up to shoot again. You sunk two more balls in a row before missing the third.
“You already knew how to play pool, didn’t you?” Sam asked, voice strained with frustration and annoyance.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You said as you breezed past him to grab a sip of your drink.
The game continued on, and everytime it was your turn you made sure to stick your ass out, allowing your dress to ride up on your thighs. You won easily, completely outclassing your distraught boyfriend.
The night drew to a close with Jake completely drunk off his ass and Josh quickly catching up to him.
“I guess I should take these two home.” Danny said, coming up to sit beside you as you watched the twins playing a drunken game of pool where neither of them had any chance of actually hitting the cue. Sam was sitting to your left, cooly sipping his drink with his free hand clenched in his lap.
“Need some help? Josh and Jake are a handful when they’re not totally hammered.”
“Nah, I got ‘em. You and Sam go enjoy a night off.”
“Thanks, Dan.” You say as you rise to give him a hug. “Call if they get too hard to handle.”
“I will.” He laughed before turning to Sam to say goodbye.
“Hey! Thing 1 and Thing 2!” You call, walking over to the pool table. “Me and Sammy are headed out!”
Josh and Jake both turn to you, both voicing their disappointment at your departure.
“Lame. The both of you.” Jake says, capturing you in a side hug. “You guys be good.”
“Or be good at it.” Josh says, wrapping you in a goodbye hug of his own. He’s always a touchy drunk, and you allow the hug to go on longer than is usually deemed normal. You give him one last squeeze before extracting yourself from his grip. You turn away, only to be met with the angry face of Sam Kiszka. He strides over to you, eyes blazing, and grabs your wrist tightly.
“Let’s go.” You comply, allowing him to drag you out the door.
The car ride home is completely silent. Sam stares resolutely ahead, jaw clenched and his grip on the wheel tight. You stare at him a moment, admiring the way his hair frames his face. The moonlight accentuates his jaw, highlighting its sharpness. You look away, clenching your thighs together in anticipation of what’s to come.
Sam pulls the car into the driveway of the house, and you exit the vehicle quickly. You unlock the door and step inside. As soon as the door closes behind you, Sam slams your back into the wall. You drop the keys and they make a loud clatter that seems deafening in the silence.
“What in the fuck is wrong with you?” Sam asks through clenched teeth, leaning in close. You can feel his breath on you, he’s so close.
“What do you mean?” You ask, the tremble in your voice betraying how excited you are.
“You know exactly what I mean, y/n.” He says, reaching a hand up to rest on your throat. He doesn’t squeeze, but the threat is there if you misbehave even more.
“First, you wear this damn dress,” he says, eyes raking up your body. “Then, you purposely embarrass me at dinner by pulling that little stunt under the table cloth. A dinner, I might add, that had a lot of very important people.” You whimper as he leans down, pressing his lips to your ear. “And then, you grind your ass into me not once, but twice!” He bites your earlobe lightly, the sting making even more wetness flood between your thighs. “Then,” he says, barely above a whisper, “you and I both know that you lied about not knowing how to play pool. Just so you could tease me even more.”
“Sammy…” You whimper, your cunt throbbing with need.
“Don’t “Sammy” me.” He growls, twisting you around and pressing you face first into the wall. “You don’t get to say anything – especially since you decided to top all this off by getting all touchy feely with my brother.”
You whimper, pushing your hips back into him. You can feel his cock, hard and straining, through the fabric of his pants.
“Nope.” He says, pulling away from you completely. “Since you decided to act like a little brat all night, I’m going to treat you like one. Then, if – and only if, you’re a good little girl for me, will I let you cum. Understood?”
You nodded quickly, excitement and adrenaline coursing through your body.
“Words.” He says darkly, eyes filled with lust.
“Yes sir.” You say meekly.
“Good. Now go up to the bedroom, strip, and wait for me.”
You hastily clammer away from him, taking the stairs quickly up to your shared bedroom. You rip your clothes off before taking a seat on the bed. You wait. You can’t hear anything from downstairs and you wonder what he’s doing. You reposition, lying back against the headboard. Still, he doesn’t come up. You reach your hand between your thighs, seeking to soothe your aching pussy. You circle your clit a few times, eyes closing at the relief.
“Did I say you could touch yourself?”
Your eyes snap open and you rip your hand away from yourself.
“No.”
He raises an eyebrow at you.
“No, sir.”
He walks to the middle of the room and stops. He’s not taken any of his clothes off yet, and you can’t help but wish you could see more of him. He watches you for a moment, drinking in the sight of you all wet and needy.
“Come here.”
You rise, and pad over to him softly.
“On your knees.”
You do so, chest heaving with anticipation. You look up at him expectantly, but he says nothing. There’s a challenge in his eyes – a look that you rarely get to see on him. He’s waiting to see if you’ll take the bait. You have half a mind to say nothing. But you need him too badly to mess around anymore.
“Need it, sir.” You say quietly, eyes begging. “Need you to fuck my mouth.”
Sam smiles wickedly.
“Well, do it then.”
You nod and reach your hands up to his zipper slowly. You pull it down and unbutton his pants, sliding them down to his thighs. His cock is tenting his underwear, and you palm it, relishing the heat radiating off him. You slide his underwear down as well, just enough so that his cock springs free. He’s hard as a rock. You wrap your lips around him, sinking down on him as far you can go. Tears spring to your eyes but you don’t pull back. You use your hand to wrap around the base and begin bobbing your head. He groans, throwing his head back in pleasure. Sam reaches down and tangles his hand in your hair – the sting a welcome sensation. He starts off slow, little thrusts of his hips into your mouth. You groan, and the vibrations make him moan loudly.
“So needy for it, aren’t you?” He asks. “So needy for my cock.”
He begins to fuck into your mouth fully and your jaw aches with the effort. You flatten your tongue, allowing him to nudge the back of your throat. You swallow around him and he moans your name.
“Oh fuck.” He says lowly, before pulling his cock from your mouth with a pop, a string of saliva connected his tip to your lips.
“Get on the bed and spread your legs for me, baby.” He says, pulling his pants and underwear back up. You comply, laying on your back and allowing your knees to fall open. He climbs onto the foot of the bed and sits on his knees between yours. You feel so exposed like this, completely naked while he still has all of his clothes on. But, you would be lying if you said that there wasn’t a part of you that enjoyed feeling so vulnerable.
“You don’t get to cum unless I say so, y/n.”
“Yes, Sam.”
He dives between your thighs, licking a stripe up your pussy, just barely grazing your clit, He presses a heavy arm over your belly, keeping you pinned to the bed. He suckles on your clit, the pleasure so intense it almost hurts. You bite your lip, trying to stifle the moan that wants to rip itself from your throat.
“Don’t hold back, baby. I want to hear all those filthy little noises fall from your mouth.”
He swirls his tongue expertly around your swollen clit, before plunging it into you. You moan loudly, toes curling in pleasure. You feel your orgasm quickly approaching and you’re tempted to not say a word. But his warning from earlier plays through your mind so you reach down and thread your fingers through his hair.
“Sammy, stop. I’m gonna cum.” You whine, throwing your head back in agony as he pulls his mouth from you.
“Good girl.” He says, wiping his mouth. “Deciding to not be a brat for the first time tonight.” He chuckles before swiping his fingers through your folds.
“You’re so wet, y/n. And all for me.” He brings his finger to his mouth and sucks on it, savoring your sweet taste.
“Only for you.” You say breathlessly, looking at him nestled between your thighs.
Without warning, Sam sinks his middle finger into you, the burn quickly turning to pleasure as he pumps in and out of you. Before long, his index finger joins and he brushes your inner walls, finding that sweet spot that always drives you mad. Mewls and whines fall from your lips like prayers. Normally, you might be embarrassed by how desperate you sound, but your need to cum overrides any other thoughts you might have. He brings you to the edge once again, this time sensing it on his own and pulling back. Over and over again, he edges you – bringing you so close before pulling away completely. Your pussy clenches around nothing and you want to sob. You lose count of how many times he brings you to the precipice of falling apart. Tears run down your cheeks and your pussy is throbbing with the need to cum.
“You’re doing so good for me, y/n. So good. Do you think you deserve to cum yet?”
“Yes! Please, Sammy. Please.” You moan, hands clenching the sheets at your sides.
“Ask nicely.” He tells you, his voice thick with his own desire.
“Please, Sammy. Sir. Please let me cum.”
“As you wish.” He says, and you could sob with relief. “But you’re gonna cum on my cock. And only after I do.”
You nod vigorously as he undresses, tossing his clothes onto the floor. His dick is red and pearly drops of precum fall from the head. He slides the blunt tip of his cock through your folds, gathering the wetness there before plunging deep into you. You both moan as he bottoms out.
“Fuck, you’re so tight, baby. Feels so good around my cock.”
“Move, Sammy.” You groan, “Please.”
Sam pulls almost completely from you before slamming his hips back into you. He sets a brutal pace, the power of his thrusts pushing you upwards each time. You wrap your legs around him, digging your heels into his back to pull him even closer. His face is flushed and little breathy moans fall from his lips. You’re completely gone, cock drunk and desperate. Sam’s thrusts grow erratic and sloppy as he pounds into you. Your mind is empty of thoughts other than Sam’s name and desperate little pleas fall from your mouth with every thrust. His brows are clenched together in concentration, cock sliding in and out of you at a relentless pace and you need to cum so bad you want to scream. Sam’s eyes move from your face contorted in pleasure to your sopping cunt. The sight of his cock sliding in and out of you coupled with the desperate whines falling from your lips brings him to the edge. He moans as he finally cums, painting your walls with thick ropes of cum.
“Fuck. Shit.” He whines and your own orgasm tears through you. You let out a pornographic wail of his name as the pleasure courses through you. You clench around him, causing him to whimper as you milk him for every drop.
The both of you just lie there for a moment, catching your breath. You’re both sticky with sweat and your releases.
“You okay, baby?” He asks, slipping out of your abused cunt. “You did so good.” He brings your lips together in a sweet kiss.
“Holy fuck, yeah.” You say breathlessly.
“Let me go get a towel to clean you up.” He says, rising from the bed. “Can I bring you anything? Food? Water?”
“Nah, Just come cuddle.”
He laughs and nods his head before heading into the master bathroom. He emerges a moment later with a damp washcloth and carefully cleans you up.
“Are you sure I didn’t go too hard?” He says with concern, tossing the washcloth into the hamper.
You grab his shoulders and pull him towards you, giving him another kiss.
“I’m sure. Besides, I asked for it.”
“You could’ve just told me that you wanted it like that, you know. Instead of messing with me all night.” He says, settling into bed beside you.
“I could’ve.” You said, rolling on your side to face him. You tucked some of his sweaty hair behind his ear. “But where’s the fun in that?”
Sam laughs and shakes his head.
“You’re a mess, you know that?”
“Yeah, I know. But you love it.”
He smiles softly.
“Yeah. I do.”
#sam kiszka x reader#sam kiszka fanfic#sam kiszka fanfiction#sam kiszka smut#greta van fleet smut#greta van fleet fanfiction#sam kiszka#sam gvf
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I Never Really
Part Nineteen
Word Count: 2.6k
Warnings: Marijuana use
Playlist | Masterlist
Tag List: @jazzyfigz @dont-go-home-without-me @poochiesworld @stardustcatcher @83rkblogs @jaketsguitar @dannys-dream @gretavanfan @do-it-jakey-baby @gvfpal @ignite-my-fire @gardensgatekeeper @torniturntomyarrow @dannythedog
To your absolute dismay, it no longer felt right waking up in Sam’s bed. You felt guilty, somehow. Immediate anxiety flooded your veins the moment sunlight hit your eyes and you rolled over to stare at his sleeping form. He was already awake, godlike and radiant with the light of the sun playing off specks of gold in his eyes.
Motions that had once felt so natural felt odd and foreign to you now. You had become so used to waking up next to him, and he would wrap his arms around you, and you would curl your body against his chest to revel in his warmth. The embrace of his arms never came, his hands tucked beneath the pillow. You were wracked with guilt, certain that you should have never spoken to him last night. Tears were already threatening to fall from your eyes before a word had even been spoken between you.
“We should probably talk,” he rasped, his voice still broken from sleep.
“Right now?” You weren’t sure you had the capacity to have this discussion, especially immediately upon waking up.
“Maybe not this very second. But some time today.”
It felt like you were about to be scolded by your mother, or berated by your boss. Your anxiety over this situation ran so high for a moment you thought you might actually vomit, but you managed to hold yourself together. “I’m sorry,” you said, tears spilling from your eyes and your head starting to ache. “For…everything.”
“Save it.” There was fire behind his eyes, a flame you’d seen many times before, when he was annoyed with his brothers or frustrated over school. He was actually angry with you, something you’d never seen before, and it scared you a bit. Not that you were frightened of him, but you were frightened of what it would mean for your future, what it would mean for you. “We’ll talk later. In my room.”
The remainder of the morning whisked by through your tear-blurred vision. He checked to make sure the house was empty before rushing you outside, out to his car, and back to the dorms. As you closed the front door behind you, you had taken one last long look at the inside of that house. It would likely be the last time you’d see it, with its creaky floorboards, chipped paint, eclectic furniture, and welcoming aura. A piece of you would remain there forever, and you knew that.
He ushered you up to his room, though with how high your nerves were, it felt like you were being escorted to the electric chair. You may as well have been – to live without him was a metaphorical death sentence. His dorm had gone through some changes between semesters, adopting his typical maximalist style more so than before. Posters you recognized from his room at the house adorned the walls, and the window sill was lined with as many plants as it could hold, all of them lush and green.
“I hate to say this,” he began, taking a seat in the corner of his bed with his back against the wall. He picked up a lighter that had been stashed on top of the soil of one of the plants, fidgeting with it. “But I’m more disappointed that you lied to me than anything.”
You sat across from him, as far away as possible, and you realized why this felt so familiar. Your positions now were identical to the way you'd sat with him the last time you’d had a conversation of this nature. Full-circle, as always. “I’m sorry.”
“I know you’re sorry, but…” he sighed, eyes trained on the little pink plastic lighter as he twirled it between his fingers. “Sorry won’t fix this.”
“What about you?” You couldn’t fight the urge to immediately go on the defensive. “You were with that other girl last night. Had you still been talking to her the whole time I thought it was just me and you?”
“No, actually.” He looked at you, and you could see truth in his eyes. “Hadn’t talked to her in ages. Probably shouldn’t have called her at all.”
“We all make mistakes.”
“Mistakes?” He scoffed, turning his eyes away from yours. “Is that what you’d call it? A mistake?”
You realized he wasn’t talking about his own actions. “Listen, I know you’re not happy with me. But why are we talking about this at all? I fucked up, and I know that. So we should just drop it, drop all of this, drop each other.”
“You know neither of us can.”
“Maybe we should learn, then.” You spoke softly, hoping your voice would not reach your own ears.
“Or maybe, we could just…keep some distance.”
“How are we supposed to do that?”
He pulled his shirt collar aside, scratching at his shoulder. Just to the side of his collarbone, a circular bruise had blossomed, in the shape of your teeth. The sight of it made you ache, a feeling you knew would not be sated for a long time – if ever again. He didn’t respond, clearly trying to gather his thoughts, yet failing.
“I’m not tainted, you know,” you mumbled. “I’m not ruined because I…did that. And you’re not innocent, either.”
“I know you’re not. It’s about the trust. You lied to me.”
“You never made it official.”
“I didn’t think I needed to.” He ran a hand through his hair. “And you made it clear you wanted to wait, anyway.”
It dawned on you that perhaps you’d also been the one to put him in a difficult position. To expect him to stay perfectly faithful, when you had betrayed his trust and lied to him about it, was incredibly unfair.
“And I didn’t think about it from your perspective.” He fidgeted nervously, trying to work it out in his head. “It probably looked like I was leading you on. But I didn’t realize you’d go running to the one guy I kinda made off-limits to you. But, also, it was unfair to make someone off-limits to begin with.” He shrugged, twirling the lighter between his fingers.
“We’re both guilty.” You stared down at your hands in your lap, your eyes tracing over the remnants of the scar still present on your palm. A reminder of the love you’d shared so briefly, much more permanent than the finger-sized bruises on your hips.
“Space, then. We need to step back.”
“God, I don’t want to do that.” You whined it like a petulant child, squeezing your hands into fists.
“Do you love me?” He turned to face you, his eyes boring deep holes into you. With the gloomy sunlight hitting him, you could see the bruise on his face much more clearly. His brow was still a bit swollen, the remnants of a dark circle present in the yellowish color marring the space under his eye.
“I do.”
“Then we need to.” He held out his hand for you to take, entangling your fingers gently. “I can’t lose you permanently. Take some time to heal and I’ll do the same.”
The idea that you had to heal from anything – especially the wounds you gave each other – was mortifying. It brought you to tears, though you had none left to let fall.
“How am I supposed to live like this?” You asked.
“When you figure it out, let me know.” He tried to give you a smile, though it didn’t convey anything but sadness. “We just have to suck it up. No contact. I won’t text you, and you won’t text me.”
“No more walking to class together.”
“No more dinners together, either.”
“What if I run into you at the plant sale this week?” You said, a smile forcing its way to your lips.
“Just pretend I’m not there.”
* * *
The two of you managed to successfully avoid each other, for the most part. For a week, you didn’t see much of him, only the occasional glimpse between classes as you passed on the walkways. You’d always pretend as if you hadn’t seen each other. It was painful, but less than you'd anticipated, in all honesty. It was not a soul-crushing sadness that consumed you, but something more like a sense of relief. It was nice to finally prove to yourself that you would be okay without him, and to finally have time to reflect on your actions.
You were able to admit to yourself that you had, in fact, slept with Jake as some form of revenge. It hadn’t been conscious at the time – you'd been so deep in lying to yourself about everything, it felt natural to add another tangle to the web. But Jake had never been someone you’d wanted to pursue, not until you realized how badly it would hurt Sam if you slept with him. Neither of them had deserved any of it.
By the second week, something started to shift. You’d taken the time to own up to your actions in your own head, and the guilt that once crushed you began to dissipate. When you saw Sam, you’d stop, say hi, make up some excuse to talk – maybe you remembered some random knickknack you left in his room, maybe he remembered you still had one of his shirts, though it was always a lie. And both of you knew it.
At the third week, on one Friday night, he texted you. Something simple, only saying hello and asking how you were. You’d told yourself not to reply, fought with yourself typing and deleting paragraphs declaring your love over and over, until you wrote an equally bland response. Things continued this way for weeks, the occasional talk, the random texts, all of it cordial and simple.
Until one night, when you’d had a bit too much out of the wine you’d snuck into your dorm, and he’d been feeling a bit too bold. You’d texted him something a bit too risky, and within minutes, you heard a knock at your door. That had been the first night you’d broken your own rules, and it seemed to be a constant cycle from there.
Space was not something you could successfully keep. Not when you would “accidentally” run into each other on your way back from class. Not when he would stare at you with those eyes the color of Venus, smile at you with a mouth of perfect teeth and pink lips. Not when you would visit him in his dorm, with the intention to help him with an assignment, a code both of you learned quickly. Every time, it would end with your clothes on the floor, your naked body against his, your head on his chest as he held a smoldering joint between his teeth. Today was one such day.
“We really shouldn’t keep doing this,” he said, absently brushing his fingers through your hair. “Probably not good for us.”
You were quiet for a minute, listening to the crackle of paper burning as he took another hit. “But it’s so nice, isn't it?” You grinned, even though he could not see your face, playing the part of the devil on his shoulder.
“Sure is.”
You watched smoke curl up and away from you, sucked out the window by the gentle breeze. Spring was nearly here, midway into April, the chill finally gone from the air until the next batch of snow came. Spring in the midwest was a fickle thing. It was too cold at night to open your window, but you still always did – there was something about that smell of spring you couldn't resist. The buds on the trees, the first of the flowers poking their heads out of the ground, the birds returning, all of it was breathing new life into you. And, with any hope, breathing something necessary back into you and Sam.
It had been almost a month now of this song and dance between the two of you. It was almost as if nothing had changed, but you came closer to more arguments than before. You never fought, not outright. One of you would always back down before things could escalate too far. In all honesty, you wished the two of you could fight. There were plenty of things you needed to hash out, but you never quite could bring yourselves to bring it up. You’d both call it protecting your peace, but it felt like you were only doing more damage. You’d talked it all through to death, your mutual apologies numbering in what felt like the thousands. There were no hard feelings anymore, but the scars still lingered.
They’d started playing shows more frequently as of late. The venues had gotten bigger, cover charges had turned into ticketed events, and on a few occasions down in the city, lines had formed outside. You heard whispers of some guy down in Nashville, something about albums. It was bizarre, and didn’t quite seem to be sinking in for any of you. At the end of the day, Sam was still the wonderful, corny weirdo you’d fallen in love with. Even as you watched from the wings while women and men alike screamed and cheered for him and his brothers. The band even had a name, now. A strange one, but somehow it fit perfectly.
“There’s a show at the house tomorrow,” Sam remarked, his calloused fingers tracing shapes into the soft skin of your back. “Want to come?”
“Of course I do,” you replied. “But will that be…awkward?”
He shrugged, the motion making your head bob a bit. “It wasn’t too bad last time.”
You hadn’t seen the other guys much in the past month, only once, when you’d “happened” to run into them at a bar. The whole space thing between you and Sam had made for an interesting night. The two of you kept an almost ridiculous amount of distance, not even making physical contact once, sitting at opposite ends of the group, barely interacting at all. His brothers hadn’t quite known what to do with the whole situation, all of them glancing awkwardly between the two of you the entire night. Ultimately, they left it alone, knowing better now than to get between whatever you had going.
“I’d have to disagree,” you replied, pulling closer to him.
“For all they know, we’re still on that healthy distance kick.” You could hear the smile in his voice.
“You know how I get after your shows.”
“I’m well aware.” He laced his fingers into your hair, absently playing with a few strands. “What is it about that, anyway? Does people screaming the wrong lyrics get you going or something?”
You laughed in sync with him, rolling off of his chest to lay on your elbows, looking at him. “It’s your hands, mostly. The way your fingers move…” you imitated the way his hands would fly across the strings of his bass.
“Really? These things?” He held the joint between his teeth and wiggled his fingers at you. “All calloused and fucked up?”
“That’s the best part,” you grumbled.
“Guess I just don’t get it.” He reached behind him to stamp out the end of the joint, every curve in his body a masterpiece to your eyes. “So are you coming to the show or not?”
You pondered it for a moment, turning the idea over in your head. It seemed like a perfect recipe for disaster. But the days were getting longer, the sun shining warmer on the days it didn't rain, and a part of you was aching for a drunken night of music and joy. “Sure,” you sighed. “What’s the worst that can happen?”
#sorry this one took so long it was so hard to write omg#greta van fic#greta van fleet fanfiction#greta van fleet fic#gvf fanfiction#gvf fic#sam kiszka fanfiction#sam kiszka fic#sam kiszka x reader#sam kiszka x y/n#inr#i never really#sam kiszka#greta van fleet sam#gvf sam#sam kiszka fanfic#sam kiszka fan fiction
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ℭ𝔞𝔩𝔩 ℑ𝔱 𝔚𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔜𝔬𝔲 𝔚𝔞𝔫𝔱 - 𝔖𝔉𝔎
sfk x f!reader
I have an initial necklace hehe (he has mine on a bracelet)
THIS ACCOUNT IS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
taylor's version masterpost
reputation masterpost
☮
My castle crumbled overnight
I brought a knife to a gunfight
May third was the last time your friends heard from you. You remembered how the rain had been so humid and suffocating, the leaves just having returned to the branches. Flowers had begun to bloom but you had never felt more shrunken and frail, threatening to fall from the branches to the icy grass. Mark had shattered your heart into a million pieces the previous day, and your friends had arrived at your apartment, attempting to put you back together.
All you could manage was to ask for space, and your absence worried them greatly. They were convinced you had spiraled in the six months since you had spoken. Truthfully, you had been, for a few weeks, anyway. On the first day that you left your apartment for something other than work or class, you had made your way into a previously loved bookstore. Mark had taken you there on a first date, and it became a regular date spot.
All the jokers dressin' up as kings
They fade to nothin' when I look at him
At that moment, you were angry. Hopelessly angry. Filled with rage at how easy he made it seem to leave you. Picking up his favorite book from a dusty shelf, you sneered at it, like it was him with the well-loved pages and cover with distressed corners. I bet you think about me, you thought, I’m harder to forget than I was to leave.
“Are you, uh, gonna buy that or just keep making angry faces at it?” You jumped at the silky voice.
“Oh, sorry,” You held it out to him, “I’m not - you can have it.”
“I’m not buying.” He laughed, gesturing to the nametag pinned to his shirt.
A warmth in your cheeks appeared and you placed the book gingerly on the shelf.
“Are you new? I’m here all the time and I’ve never seen you.”
“Yeah, college isn’t gonna pay for itself.”
You both laughed and that was the beginning. In between work and school, you would visit Sam, at the library or his apartment, where you met his best friend, Danny, for the first time. Though, Danny had walked in on you making out with Sam on the couch, so you could’ve made a better first impression, but oh well.
All my flowers grew back as thorns
Windows boarded up after the storm
Truthfully, you had spiraled those first few weeks of absolute gut wrenching heartache, determined you were fated to drown. Sam had been a torch in a dark tunnel, a device meant to keep you afloat, and he had done just that. Sam made you laugh and took your breath away all at once.
The two of you spent Friday nights in bars, dancing with each other as you drank cheap beer. The glow of blue neon signs illuminated your head on his chest, and you could practically see the thumping of your own heart in your chest, and he, the same.
Bridges burn, I never learn, at least I did one thing right
It was great. For about two months. Then it - well, you - came crashing down. It was all too overwhelming, school, work, the future, life. Were you what Sam wanted? You didn’t even have to ask yourself the reverse, he was all you could ever want.
When he knocked on your door, he found it unlocked. He went to joke about being a serial killer when he saw you crumpled in front of the couch, sobs wracking your body. The quip immediately slipped back into his mouth and he ran to hold you. You could hear his frantic heartbeat from your position on his chest, and you apologized for the tears and snot on his shirt.
"You don't need to save me
But would you run away with me?"
“Baby, I don’t care,” he laughed in worry, “what’s wrong?” When you couldn’t talk through the tears, he didn’t expect an answer. Sam just held you, your hands gripping his flannel so tightly you thought it might tear.
After an hour, your tears had subsided, perhaps from dehydration, but you didn’t really care. He still held on just as tightly, until you began to untangle yourself from his grasp. Your throat was sore and your voice hoarse, and surely your face was stained with your smeared makeup from the day. That’s not how he looked at you though, he looked at you the way he looked at sunsets, dazzled and bewildered and wonderfully.
“What’s wrong with my baby, hm?” He caressed your jaw, his long fingers finding residence in the mess of your hair.
“It’s just - well, am I what you want? You could have anyone -” He cut you off.
“You are all I want, need, and everything in between, sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere until you give me the word.” It was firm in a way you’d never heard Sam Kiszka speak. But he was right.
My baby's fly like a jet stream
High above the whole scene, loves me like I'm brand new
The days that followed were not awkward, but had an air of delicacy around them. Like he was afraid to say the wrong thing. You apologized, and he assured you had no reason to. He was learning your boundaries, studying them so he could wrap himself around them and protect you.
One of those days, a new necklace appeared on you, and he wasn’t certain. He thought it might be - no, there was no way. Finally, he stopped you in the hallway as you were coming out of a shower. His fingers picked up the letter on your chest, inspecting its curves and the way it shined in the light. Sam knew you better than anyone, he deserved to be monumentally represented as a permanent part of your appearance.
“An ‘S.’ For Sam. Or Sammy. Or Samuel. Or-” He kissed you to shut you up.
Call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want
To
〚taglist〛
gvf: @doodle417, @brokenbellz, @gretavanfleas, @pyrojoshy, @greta-van-chaos, @xserenax-13, @hayley1623, @kdarling1, @autumns30, @keighoe, @chalametpwk, @sammysvanfeet, @shawnsthighs, @gretavanbitches, @sammiejane22, @gretavanbestie, @jordierama, @alexxavicry, @spark-my-nature, @rainy-darling
sammy: @harmoniousharry
#josh kiszka#greta van fleet#jake kiszka#danny wagner#sam kiskza#josh gvf#jake gvf#greta van fic#gvf fic#danny gvf#sam gvf#gvf fanfiction#sam kiszka fanfic#sam kiszka fluff#sam kiszka x reader
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Times I Remember Well
(and Some That I Don’t)
Part 2
author’s note: The word "skivvies" means underwear. Apparently not everyone knows that lol
pairing: female!OCxjake
time frame: 2014-2016
word count: 7k this part
warnings: language, more teenage angst, illicit substance use, underage drinking, mentions of sex and sexual situations, fingering, angry Sam
I was serious when I said I couldn’t show my face at the Kiszka household for a while.
Sam showed up at my front door the next afternoon, and immediately started making fun of me for being rejected by his brother.
“Oh Joshy, why won’t you kiss me?!” Complete with immature kissy sounds and puppy dog eyes.
I could only wonder what Josh had told him happened. He wouldn’t tell me. Menace.
It was one thing to hang out with Sam so soon after the incident, but there was no way I could be around Josh. Or even Jake.
The more I thought about that night (which was a lot), the more I over-analyzed Jake’s reaction to his twin cozying up to me.
Was I crazy to think that he was mad at me? Or at Josh? The look on his face had been murderous (it got even more murdery every time I thought about it). Had I imagined that?
Because I’m the luckiest girl on earth, I didn’t have to wait that long to find out.
After three weeks of avoiding their house all together, Sam convinced me to come by for a smoke sesh in the garage. Same as always, the usual, totally casual. I knocked twice on the door and let myself in, sat on the old throw rug right next to Sam, joined the rotation with Danny on the couch across from me and Sam to my left. Around and round it went, while I refused to meet the eyes of anyone in the room but Sammy.
Jake sat upon his ugly floral throne and Josh was tucked into the corner of the couch beside him. I risked peeking up at them, back and forth, whenever I knew they weren’t paying attention.
They were so different. More different than I had ever realized, but Josh seemed okay - a little quiet but he smiled easily and laughed freely. I don’t think Jake even glanced in my direction once, but I was too scared to look at him for too long, so who knows.
Eventually, Sam smoked too much. He did this almost every time, you’d think he’d have figured it out by then. He laid himself flat out on the cement floor and dozed off, so I asked Danny to toss me one of the dingy throw pillows from the couch.
“Here, stupid.” I shoved Sam’s shoulder and he stirred enough to lift his head, I stuffed the pillow underneath it. He went out like a light.
Jake chose the moment Sam passed out to stand from the chair. He stayed there for a second, and I could see him from the corner of my eye. Just standing there, like a total weirdo! So yeah, I looked up at him. Don’t you worry, he was already looking down at me and our eyes locked. Of course they did.
His expression was pretty neutral but made me feel squirmy anyway, so I blinked and looked at Josh instead. You guessed it, he was already looking at me too! Except he’s perfectly lovely and sweet, so he grinned and shrugged his shoulders.
“Come grab some snacks with me, Tiny.”
Nope, Josh didn’t say that. I nearly snapped my neck jerking my head back up to Jake. “C’mon, T.”
When we were still in middle school, Sam and I would sometimes watch reruns of The Twilight Zone, have you ever seen that show? Each episode was a story about some seriously weird and disturbing shit, alternate realities.
This was like that. I had entered the Twilight Zone.
Josh was my only option for help, so I obviously looked over at Danny instead. He was melting into the couch again, lightweight.
“Let’s go.” This Jake was freaking me out. I mean, he didn’t talk to me much under normal circumstances, but he definitely never asked me to go anywhere with him. Let alone demanded it.
“Okay!” Once again, I embarrassed myself under this roof. My voice came out strained and squeaky. Let’s blame it on the dry mouth.
He skirted around the chair and out the side door, and my body just got up to follow him. Traitor! I stepped over Sam and before I made it to the door, Josh’s hand shot out and grabbed my wrist.
“Hey, you okay?”
Ugh, he’s so perfect.
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine but he’s being so weird, right?” Right?!
“He is. He’s been kinda weird for a couple weeks, even with me. But uh… Good luck in there, missed you around here.” He released his hold on my wrist and chuckled. Traitor!
My possible friendship with Josh was tenuous at best, but I was considering a forever type of silent treatment after this betrayal. I sucked a few deep breaths into my lungs before I walked into the house, and when I made it to the kitchen, Jake was leaning against the counter, arms crossed over his chest. He hadn’t even pulled any snacks out. He lifted his eyes to me as I walked in, and did that flippy thing with the hair that always flopped over them.
“What’s up Biebs?” He hated that (he and Sam both did, it was great), and I knew he hated that, but he was getting on my nerves with his attention, with his demands. I could see the hate written all over his face, but I crossed the kitchen and leaned into the counter across from him. Then I matched his wide-legged stance, crossed my arms, and scowled. We stared at each other for a beat, my underarms started to sweat before he responded.
“Where have you been the last few weekends?”
What do you mean he’d noticed I hadn’t been here? Was he for real?
“Uhh, I’ve been around, I guess. What do you care?”
“You avoiding us, Tiny?” He adjusted his stance, straightening up to his full height (a whopping half inch taller than me - what is it with these guys?) but kept his arms across his chest. His hair had fallen back into his eyes and he flipped it away, and I just stared at him in silence. “Something happen the last time you were here?”
What do you know, dickhead?
“Like what, Jacob?” I smoothed out the scowl from between my eyebrows and batted my lashes at him. I’m so innocent! He did not like it. His arms dropped to his sides and he pushed himself away from the counter. In less than a second he was standing right in front of me. In a fraction of that, he had leaned in close, the tip of his nose nearly touching mine. I tried to back away, arching my back over the edge of the counter, but he moved in further.
Now my back was sweating.
“Did you fool around with my brother?”
Jesus. His question breezed over my lips and his words shot straight to my gut. It wasn’t like the soft caress of Josh’s voice asking what I was doing when I’d been begging him to kiss me. This wasn’t like that at all.
“Uh-“ Yeah yeah, I had to clear my throat. I think I stopped breathing. “Who? Sammy? Gross, dude.”
Deflect! Deflect!
“Did you fuck Josh, T?”
WHAT?!
I pushed him away from me. I couldn’t breathe!
“What the hell are you talking about, Jake? Of course I didn’t… do that!” I’d never done that, with anyone, had he lost his mind?
“Then why is he acting so weird? And why haven’t you been here since that night?” He really seemed surprised that I hadn’t fu- had sex with Josh on the couch in the garage. What kind of girl did he take me for?
“Ask him yourself, asshole!”
“I did! Multiple times! He won’t say shit and says you guys are just friends, but that doesn’t explain why you’ve been too chicken-shit to show your face!”
Why was he so close to me again? I put a palm squarely in the middle of his chest, ready to push his ass to the floor if I had to, but he wrapped his fingers around my wrist and squeezed. Kinda hard.
“My own brother won’t tell me the truth and it’s your fault.” He pushed my hand back into my own chest. “What did you do to him?”
I was truly at a loss for words, so I uttered a few that I honestly had never said to anyone before. Not even Sam.
“Fuck you, Jake.”
But he didn’t even move! His face sort of twisted up, like he was confused, but I don’t think I could have been any more clear.
“Grow up, Tiny.”
Ugh, when did he learn how to push all my buttons? “You grow up, and mind your own business you creep. What, are you jealous I kissed Josh and not you?”
You should’ve seen it, seriously. You had to be there. He sprung away from me like I’d electrocuted him.
“You are! Oh this is hilarious, you’re jealous.” I had to say it, the look on his face was a mixture of disgust and embarrassment. I couldn’t believe it. “Do you like me Jake? Huh? You wanna kiss me Jake?”
There’s no excuse for that one. I still don’t know why I said it. But then, ohhhh then, he rushed back into my space, wrapped both hands around the base of my skull, and slammed his lips against mine.
See? Luckiest girl on earth.
A lot of things happened in a span of a very few seconds.
The weight of his body pushed me into the counter pretty hard, but I barely registered the pain. My first reaction was obviously shock, confusion, but it quickly turned into acceptance and my lips went from stiff against his to soft and welcoming.
Yep. I kissed him back.
My hands flew up and wrapped around his wrists, and he actually gripped my hair. I gasped into the kiss and he slipped his tongue into my mouth. He groaned, I moaned and-
“Seriously?!”
We bounced apart like the opposite poles of two magnets. Jake didn’t stop moving backwards until he hit the counter across from me.
“This is seriously fucked up, guys.” Sam stood in the doorway of the kitchen, eyes red and unfocused, but they landed on me. “Go home, T. I shouldn’t have even asked you to come here.”
Before I could argue or even get upset with him, he turned out of the room and was gone.
I was confused. Very confused. My heart was still beating erratically in my chest and my breaths didn’t feel right either. Of all the people on the planet, I had to look to Jake effing Kiszka for help.
“Jake…” My voice came out small, weak.
For a minute, he just shook his head. My vision went a little blurry.
I am not going to cry in front of another one of these idiots!
“Jake.” Stronger that time, better. “Why did you do that?”
“Why did you?”
“You kissed me first! I-“
“You liked it.”
No, no I did not. I loved it. There was enough potential that I could’ve been smitten with it.
“You’re disgusting.” As I found my voice, I also found some anger. That anger coerced my feet into action, and I found myself toe to toe with him again. I pushed a finger right into his chest, for good measure. “Don’t ever-“
I learned a few things that night. One thing was that Jake was a really terrible listener.
He didn’t grab me again, he didn’t crowd me or slam his mouth to mine. He just leaned forward and let his lips hover over mine. That shut me up real quick.
“You sure, T?” Ugh, he whispered. And it was sexy, and seductive.
Another thing I learned that night was that Jake was a real prick.
Because he whispered those words across my lips, wrapped his hands around my upper arms and spun us around, backed me into the counter…
And walked away.
With all that being said, that might have been the night I started falling for Jake Kiszka. But I don’t really remember.
Sam didn’t speak a word to me for six days.
He was really mad at me! Or at least I figured he was, since he sent me away and said I never should have been there to begin with. And he ignored all my texts. And calls. Shit, I even emailed him once.
I passed him in the halls at school all week, tried to catch his attention from a distance, watched him purposefully look past me, or through me each time.
I had really fucked up.
On the seventh day, he gave it a rest. A full week since incident #2, he texted me.
sammy: I’m sorry too
That was it. I had apologized a hundred unanswered times, pleaded with him to just talk to me, for a week. After so much silent treatment, I didn’t really know how to address it.
Me: my dad wants me to stay with him for the summer
That was true. My dad always wanted me to stay with him for the summer, but I usually chose to stay home and traded out the other, shorter holiday breaks with him. I hadn’t seriously been considering it, until incident #2.
sammy: In Traverse? Are you gonna go?
Me: yeah.
What did you expect me to say? I needed to get out of the bubble that was our town and away from all the testosterone. Granted, Traverse City is only like three hours away, but that was pretty far for a kid with no license.
Sam didn’t text me back. I was glad I was leaving.
School let out for the summer and my dad picked me up that weekend. Traverse City isn’t all that different from home, aside from triple the population. There’s plenty to do outdoors - beaches and trails - but my dad didn’t exactly provide the same kind of company as Sam.
When you’re running free with your best friend, the break never seems long enough. This was the longest summer I could remember, but by early July Sam and I were back on regular speaking terms. We texted all the time, and eventually accepted each other’s apologies.
But after not hearing from him at all before I left town, the first time he reached out was not all that fun.
sammy: Can I ask you a question
Me: shoot
sammy: Why did it have to be my brothers?
Me: …
Me: what do you mean
sammy: You could make out with ANYONE else
sammy: Why them?
So Josh did tell him something.
Me: Josh told you we kissed?
sammy: That’s not an answer.
The truth? You know the truth. I started crushing on Josh sometime between his bare chest at Fischer Hall and the skintight jeans with the peace sign patch on the ass that he started wearing later that summer.
But I still didn’t know what the hell had happened with Jake.
Me: i already said i was sorry sam. I. AM. SORRY.
Me: i really did like josh… he doesn’t like me back
Me: but i DID NOT KISS JAKE!!! He kissed ME and i have no clue why
Me: I DO NOT LIKE HIM, I HATE HIM
Look, I rarely lied to Sam. I had no reason to. But that text? That was a big fat lie.
How could I tell him that not only did I not hate Jake, I liked kissing Jake. I wanted to kiss Jake again. I wanted to learn how he did it, what his moves were, what made him-
No. Couldn’t tell baby brother all that. So I lied, and I avoided at all costs.
Back to the best of friends by August, Sam was waiting in my driveway the day my dad dropped me off. We spent the last week of the summer attached at the hip again, but I didn’t step foot in his house for a very long time.
The Friday after my eighteenth birthday, Sammy threw me a party. That I didn’t ask for.
I rarely hung out with him at his own house anymore, and if I did it was only when I knew for certain that Jake wasn’t home.
Josh and I had developed a sort of friendly relationship over the last couple years, stemming from a run-in at a movie theater. I was on a date (it went terribly), Josh was on a date (I asked him about it later and yes, that guy liked him back!), we fumbled awkwardly through hellos and introductions. He told me he missed seeing me around.
Those five words were enough to convince me that it would be okay to go to the house if he was there.
But not Jake. Never Jake.
So imagine my utter shock and horror when I knocked twice on the garage door, slipped underneath it, and found the room packed full of people.
“SURPRISE!!!”
Fuck me, right? No one likes surprise parties. I particularly hate them. Especially when I’m standing there like an idiot, wide-eyed and slack-jawed, taking in an unexpected mass of people and my stupid eyes lock on Jake stupid Kiszka.
And he smirked. Asshole.
“I’m not ready to leave you.”
Despite the garage full of our friends, I still ended up on Sam’s lap in the ugly chair, a little buzzed and kind of weepy. I tucked my face into his shoulder.
Don’t judge me. I’d already done a few hours worth of dancing, laughing and drinking. And avoiding the proverbial elephant in the room. It was exhausting.
He shrugged off my concerns. “When I’m famous, you can just drop out and come on tour with us.” He raised his beer up to me, so I tapped mine against it. Cheers to adulthood, I guess.
“You better get famous, you dick. Or even better, fail miserably and come live in Ann Arbor with me.”
In a month, I was graduating. It's not like I was leaving for college right away, but the reality of being eighteen was weighing on me. Sam’s reality was even heavier.
The fucking band was getting noticed. Being seen. What was I gonna do if they took off, if he left me and Michigan behind?
“Cheer up, T. This is supposed to be a party.” He squeezed me with the arm wrapped around my waist.
“Yeah yeah. I’m fine… I’m just gonna miss you.”
He was really great sometimes, my best friend. He reached down and sat his beer on the floor, then wrapped both arms around me. “I’ll miss you too, you know that.”
I let my eyes close for a minute and just enjoyed it, then sighed heavily against his neck. “Okay, sorry for the pity party. Let me up, I gotta pee.”
A few people were lingering in the kitchen when I made it into the house, they all raised their drinks and yelled happy birthday as I passed through. In the upstairs bathroom, I could hear when they filtered back outside, the house falling silent. I gave myself a little pep talk in the mirror before I left.
Get it together, woman. Have a good time, enjoy the fucking summer. Grow. Up.
Good talk, I know.
When I hit the bottom of the stairs, I heard the refrigerator open. As I turned into the kitchen, someone was still standing there, hidden by the door.
But I knew who it was.
The fridge door swung closed and there he was. And we were alone.
Not this shit again.
I wasn’t gonna do it, I wasn’t gonna do anything. I swear. But I kept moving to pass him and leave the room, and he stuck an arm out and stopped me in my tracks.
“Just let me go, Jake.” See? I had zero interest in this! I didn’t even look at him. Ya know, until he physically turned my body to face him. He had the nerve to smile.
“Happy birthday, T.” Thank God he didn’t whisper it, he was so good at whispering.
“Yeah, thanks. See ya.” I tried to leave again, but he put both hands on me and kept me facing him, toe to toe. Another showdown in the Kiszka kitchen.
“Don’t be like that.”
Oh, how I hated him in that moment. Everything came back, the confusion, the anger I felt the last time we’d been here. When he basically accused me of being a slut right before accusing me of wanting him. And being right about it.
I shook his hands off my arms and took a step back. “No. No, I’m not doing this again.” I turned to leave again, and he caught me by the wrist.
“What are you talk-“
“Stop! Don’t pretend you don’t know!”
“Tiny, I really-“
“Don’t call me that, and don’t act like you don’t know exactly why I have avoided you for two fucking years.”
Maybe it was my expression, or maybe it was the tone of my voice, I’ll never know but he dropped my wrist and actually managed to look guilty.
“Exactly. Bye, Jake.”
I made it to the doorway. If I had just been moving faster, I would’ve missed it and probably never experienced what happened next.
“I’m sorry.”
There’s no way I’d heard that right. It spun me around where I stood.
“What?”
“I said I’m sorry, about that night.”
I waited for the ground to open up and swallow us, or a meteor to blast through the ceiling. Surely the world was ending. Nothing happened.
“Really. What exactly are you sorry for, hm? Why exactly do you think I hate you?”
“You hate me?” I’m sure you can imagine, but yes, he had the audacity to look surprised by that information. It pissed me off.
“Get real, Jake.” I moved closer. “Get fucking real. Tell me what you’re apologizing for, go ahead. What part of that night are you sorry for?” By the time I was done, I was all up in his space and he looked uncomfortable.
Good.
“I’m sorry I accused you of sleeping with Josh.”
The big bad anger deflated, but only a little. I really hadn’t expected him to acknowledge that.
“You accused a sixteen year old virgin of fucking your brother on a dirty couch in your garage.” He literally cringed. I get it, it sounded bad. Because it was.
“That was really shitty of me-“
“You think?!”
“Let me finish,” His hands were on me again, wrapped around my upper arms. “Please.”
All I could do was nod. That please is what did it. He really seemed to feel bad, and I was believing it.
“I said that out of anger, T. I knew something happened out there, and Josh was all fucked up about it after. He wouldn’t talk to me, and he tells me everything.” My shoulders shook with the force of that word. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”
My mind was reeling, grasping for the meaning he intended. I shook my head.
“We’re twins, we don’t have secrets. I thought you either forced him to do something he didn’t want to, or you… were mean to him. Judged him.”
It dawned on me, clear as day.
“You knew.”
He tipped his chin and nodded, just once.
“I don’t- then what about the rest? I called you jealous, but it had nothing to do with that. But you were!”
He nodded again. My resolve crumbled.
“Why did you kiss me?” I whispered it, but I wasn’t trying to be sexy, or seductive.
“Because I was jealous. And I wanted to.”
Gulp.
“I’m really sorry that I hurt your feelings. I never wanted you to hate me.”
“What did you want?”
As you can imagine, that question sealed my fate.
“Just you.”
My back was against the refrigerator before he even finished breathing the words. This time, there was no moment of shock, I wasn’t confused, and my lips were not stiff.
His hands slid up my arms and into my hair, and he tilted my head. My mouth opened for him, and I gripped the front of his t-shirt for dear life.
Remember when I told you that by sixteen, I had kissed plenty? That was true. By eighteen, I’d kissed plenty more.
But this kiss was going to ruin me, and I knew it.
He let a hand slip from my hair and ran it down the length of my body, past my shoulder, over my ribs and the small of my waist, then he tucked it between me and the fridge and flattened it to my lower back. And pulled my hips into his.
Oh my god. He did want me, I could feel the evidence of that pressed against me.
“Jake.” I broke the kiss but his lips kept moving, he tilted my head further and ran kisses over my cheek, my jaw. “Jake.”
“Mm?” His hips ground into mine, he didn’t take his lips off of me.
“What- fuck, what are we doing?” My hands flattened against his chest and pushed, just a little, and he finally lifted his face.
His breath was coming quickly, I could feel it under my palms. “What do you wanna do, T?”
My brain raced toward an answer, past all the reasons we shouldn’t do what I wanted to do. There’s still a party going on in the garage, Sam is waiting there for me to come back from the bathroom, this is a bad idea, this is Jake, Sam may never forgive me for this.
“Can we- should we… go somewhere else?” Yeah, that’s what my brain landed on.
“You sure?” The memory of that same question, two years ago, rushed in and I knew that if he walked away from me this time, I would never get over it.
“I’m sure.”
He didn’t stop to reconsider or question my decision, just took my hand and led me back to the stairs. We rushed to the second floor, not leaving time to second guess or re-evaluate. He practically dragged me into his room, slammed the door behind us and locked it.
I didn’t bother looking around, it was dark anyway but I didn’t want to think too hard about what was happening. I just let him push me towards a bed and fell into it. He tore his shirt over his head and covered my body and mouth with his.
My legs opened and he settled between them, immediately grinding into me. This was happening, and it was happening fast. Our mouths were securely attached, so I wriggled beneath him, tugging the hem of my shirt up. As soon as he caught on to what I was doing he took over the task, sliding a hand up under my shirt and touching my bare skin for the first time.
“Fucking hell, T.” God, his voice was ragged, he was literally panting as he leaned back to use both hands, spreading his palms over my stomach, my ribcage, skimming over the sides of my breasts and up until my shirt was over my head and thrown to the floor.
For a minute we just stared at each other, our heavy breathing the only sound in the room.
He had changed so little and so much in the last two years. Physically, his hair had grown long, hanging to his shoulders instead of flipping across his forehead. His cockiness had transformed into confidence, and his actions up to this moment had been firm and self-assured. As we took each other in, I wondered what changes he saw in me.
Did he see a woman that night, pinned to his mattress by his eyes? At sixteen, I’d tried so hard to convince all of them that I was grown - could he see the ways that I had?
“You’re so fucking hot.” Okay, yeah it wasn’t poetry or anything, but his words pulsed through my bloodstream and settled between my thighs. Something like a whine slipped from the back of my throat, and suddenly we were moving in fast motion. He covered me again, but his kiss landed on my jaw, then below my ear, then the base of my throat. As it passed my collarbone I tangled my hands into his hair. He’d propped himself up on an elbow and the other hand slid up my ribs again then covered my breast.
I wish I could remember what my bra even looked like that night, but it hadn’t seemed like he cared.
He squeezed me softly, I moaned, he squeezed harder. Then his fingers tugged the top of the cup down, and for the first time, a part of me was truly naked in front of Jake Kiszka.
There was only a fleeting moment where he lifted his head and looked at my chest, bared to him, my nipple already hard and aching for his attention - then he dropped his mouth over it and sucked it in.
My back arched off the bed and he sucked me in deeper, his tongue swirling around my nipple before he softly put his teeth on it.
“Yes.” I hardly recognized my own voice, but he must have recognized the need or the urgency in it, because he applied just a tiny bit of pressure, and bit me. “Yes!”
His head popped up and his eyes met mine. “Fuck, you liked that?”
Was that weird? Was I not supposed to? I didn’t know what to say, so I nodded. It prompted him to pull the other side of my bra down and treat my other nipple to the same affection, so I guessed it was the right answer.
We were writhing together, friction between our hips and my hands holding his head to my chest until I couldn’t stand it anymore.
“Jake, kiss me, please…”
Somewhere along the line, he’d become a better listener. His lips slotted over mine and he kissed me deeply, I felt it everywhere. Until his hand started fumbling with the button of my jeans. It popped open and he slid the zipper down. Just as his fingers danced over the edge of my underwear, he paused.
Against my mouth he whispered, “Yes?”
I nodded frantically, breaking the kiss.
“Say it, T.”
“Yes.”
Fingers slid over cotton and tucked themselves between my legs, and my entire body shuddered. He dropped his gaze to where he was touching me as he pressed them into me and slid them up my center, catching on my clit. I jolted at the contact.
“Jesus Christ.”
Had I surprised him? Done something wrong? Why was he pulling his hand away- oh.
His hand slipped out of my jeans only long enough to slide under the waist of my panties, then it disappeared inside them.
Jake Kiszka had his fingers on my actual, bare-
You get it.
Again, they pressed into me and then through me, I could feel the way my body offered no resistance, slick and easy.
“You- you’re so…” His voice trailed off, but I needed to know. What was I? What was he thinking?
“What, Jake?” I sounded breathy, my voice coming out shaky and quiet. He looked up into my eyes.
“You’re so wet.” He sounded stunned, awe lacing his tone.
My throat closed, I swallowed hard. Embarrassment made my chest hot and I opened my mouth to say something. I’m sorry? But my mouth snapped shut because he moved his fingers through the wetness again and groaned, deep and low, before tracing up to my clit again and circling it.
He continued to watch my face, I think. I’m not sure, because my eyes slammed shut as my body bowed into the feeling, but it seemed like he was watching all of my reactions closely. I’m sure he saw my face drop when his fingers left my clit, only to see my jaw fall open when one moved lower and pushed inside me slowly.
Inside. Me. My eyes shot open and found him staring at me, nostrils flared.
“Relax, T. You’re so tight.”
Was that bad? I pulled a deep breath into my lungs, in through my nose and out through trembling lips. Tried my hardest to relax every muscle, but I was wound so tight I felt like I would implode.
I must have done something right, because his finger slid deeper and he murmured the worst thing I’d ever heard.
“That’s good, good girl.”
In hindsight, I know he wasn’t even trying to be sexy. But my body tightened around his finger again and he started to withdraw it. I panicked, gripped his wrist and dug my nails in just as he pushed all the way inside.
“God!” I couldn’t help it, the invasion was overwhelming me.
“Shhh, I’ve got you.” He was pumping it inside me now. “Tell me what you want.” Focus made his features look so serious, but his voice was calm and coaxing. I had no fucking clue what to say.
So I said the first thing that popped into my head.
“More.” He smiled, his mouth curling up at the corners. I felt him withdraw his finger all the way, gasped as he swirled two over my clit, then entered me again with both.
“Jesus, you’re so tight, you feel so good.”
So good, so good. That’s good. I let myself relax into his touch and within a few seconds my hips were moving in time with his fingers. My bottom lip was held tight between my teeth as I tried not to let any of the sounds building in my throat escape. He noticed.
His face came close, he pecked a kiss to my cheek then whispered into my ear. “Let me hear you, just be quiet.”
I really had no choice, because as soon as the words left his mouth, he pressed his thumb to my clit and plunged his fingers deep.
“Shit Jake, yes yes yes…”
Still next to my ear, he tucked his face into my neck and kissed me there before making his way back to my lips. His tongue swept out over my bottom lip and I opened to him, let him in. My eyes fluttered closed.
Then I felt it, a tightening, low in my belly. A tingling even lower. I don’t know what I did that signaled to him, but he knew.
“Are you gonna come for me?” He asked between kisses. I didn’t answer. I couldn’t.
I didn’t have to. All it took was a few more pumps of his fingers, a couple circles with his thumb, and I had my first orgasm.
Trust me when I tell you, it was a doozy.
My entire body tensed, my back arched and my mouth opened. Thank God I couldn’t hear myself over the buzz in my head because I’m sure the sound I made was mortifying, but it didn’t matter. As quickly as it had gripped me, it started to fade away. Things came back into focus and I felt Jake’s fingers softly moving in shallow strokes before they stopped and he pulled them from me.
“Wow.”
Who said that? Oh, it was Jake. I peeked up at him and his eyes were wide, almost black in the darkness. Then he pulled his hand from my pants and stood up so quickly, I was sure I’d done something wrong. I shot up to sit and had barely planted my feet on the floor when I heard his belt buckle clink. The shuffle of his shoes across the carpet as he toed them off his feet. The soft swish of denim falling down his legs and hitting the floor, more shuffling and he stepped out of his jeans.
Holy shit holy shit holy shit.
I didn’t even have time to truly panic, because he stepped back up to the bed and leaned down, kissing me briefly on the lips before using his hands to guide me backwards, laying across his bed again. He reached for the waist of my pants and, already undone, started to slide them off of my hips. I let him pull them down my legs until they got stuck at my shoes.
He chuckled. I giggled, nervously. He slipped my shoes off then tugged my jeans from my feet. I shifted and sat back up.
And there I was. Looking at Jake Kiszka in nothing but his skivvies and socks, and myself wearing much of the same. Except my tits were out, the cups of my bra pushing them up from underneath.
Jake must have sensed my nerves, because he asked me if I was still sure. I nodded and he demanded to hear it out loud.
“Yes.”
He turned to his nightstand, rummaged blindly through the drawer, and when he straightened he slipped his thumbs under the elastic waistband of his underwear.
Then they hit the floor.
And there I was. Looking at Jake Kiszka in nothing but his socks.
My cheeks exploded with heat and I was grateful that he couldn’t see me blushing in the dark, but I must have made a face, or a noise, because he was poised to tear open the condom wrapper and he stopped.
“Are you okay?”
Oh shit, what did I do?
“Um-“ Cleared my throat. “I- yeah. Yes. Sorry. I’ve just, never done this before.”
“Ha ha, T. For real, what’s wrong?”
Ha ha? I wasn’t laughing.
“Nothing. It’s fine, I just haven’t ever…” It trailed off, because there was something wrong with the way he was looking at me.
“Fuck. You gotta be kidding me.” Ouch.
His arms dropped to his sides, condom packet still between the first two fingers of his left hand. He flicked it away, it skimmed the surface of the nightstand and fell behind it.
No, no no no.
“What? What are you doing?” There it was, a little bit of that panic, finally allowed to bloom under my skin. He bent and stepped back into his boxer briefs and pulled them up. My own semi-nudity suddenly felt shameful, so I tugged the cups of my bra back up to cover my breasts. “Jake, I still want th-“
“No. I can’t, T. You’re still a virgin?”
Was I crazy, because I hadn’t seen anything wrong with that before this exact moment? He stepped back into his jeans and started pulling them up.
I reached out to stop him, a hand on his wrist. “Yeah, but who cares? It’s not that big of-“
“I care!” He ripped his arms away from me, pulled his pants up and fastened them. He continued as he started plucking my own clothes from the floor and shoving them into my shaking arms. “I can’t do that, I can’t be your first. I can’t fucking believe this.”
The first tear slipped and ran down my cheek, and I swiped it away, frustrated. “You’re overreacting, Jake. Why are you-“
He cut me off again. “How could you not tell me? What if I, if I had- God.”
“I didn’t know I was supposed to!” I jerked my shirt over my head and shoved my arms through the sleeves. “Why would you think I wasn’t?!” Pulled my jeans over my feet and up my legs.
“Because Sam told me!”
My fingers stopped buttoning my pants, my head jerked up. “What?!”
“Sam said he thought you were fucking that idiot you dated last year, when you weren’t coming around for like a month. He-“
“I’m gonna kill him. That’s it, I’m finally gonna actually kill him.”
Jake threw his arms up. “What was I supposed to think, T? With the way you were kissing me, and- and- you weren’t acting like a virgin!”
“Because you still think I’m some kind of slut, Jake? Is that it? Oh my God I’m so stupid.” I fastened my jeans and pulled my shoes on, then shoulder checked him on my way to the door.
It felt good, okay?
He was right behind me, forgetting his shoes and pulling his shirt on as he followed me down the stairs, but I didn’t stop. I bolted through the kitchen and outside, then into the garage.
A lot of people had left and I found Sam immediately, strewn across one end of the couch. He was probably crossfaded and ready to pass out, but he popped up as soon as he saw my face.
“Tiny, where have you been? What’s wrong-“ Jake stormed into the garage behind me, and even through hooded, bleary eyes, Sam put some pieces together. Or tried to.
I was trying desperately not to cry, and I’m sure I looked it. I could feel how kiss-swollen my lips were, and I guessed that Jake’s looked the same. Add in the fucked up bed hair, and then two tears that slipped free and ran down my face.
“What the fuck did you do..”
But Sam wasn’t talking to me. He was looking past me.
“What did you do?!”
The few of our friends that were left lingering in the garage were all staring at us.
“Party’s over! GET OUT!” I flinched. I’d never heard Sam yell, not in anger. Everyone jumped and hustled through the side door until we were alone, and Sam took one deep breath before speaking.
“T, come here, are you okay?”
I didn’t move, just nodded my head and wiped furiously at my cheeks. “Yes, I’m fine, I- I just wanted to tell you I was leaving.” He came to me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders.
“What did you do?” I knew he was speaking to Jake, still standing silently behind me.
“Sam, I don’t know what you’re thinking but-“
“Why is she fucking crying?”
I broke free of his hold and stopped him. “Sam, it’s okay. I’m fine, I swear. I’m going home.” I grabbed my bag from the floor beside the couch and flung it over my shoulder, lifted the garage door and slipped out.
I didn’t stop running until I reached my driveway.
#greta van fleet#gvf#greta van fleet fan fiction#greta van fleet fic#gvf fic#greta van fleet smut#gvf smut#jake kiszka#jake gvf#greta van fleet fanfiction#sam kiszka#sam kiszka fic#sam kiszka fanfic#sam gvf
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Karma Sutra | Sam Kiszka X Reader | Part 1
Warnings: In this chapter-slut shaming, objectifying women, use of alcohol. This series will include 18+ content. Minors DNI.
Word Count: 2.2K
A/N: This series is one of the first that I put out. It has been left incomplete for quite a while. I felt that it needed some updating and reworking, but it is one of my favorite plot archs...so get ready. There will be fluff, smut, and a WHOLE lot of angst, so pull up your panties and get ready.
Summary: Chasing after the boy who is easily known as one of the sexiest and cockiest on campus...what could go wrong?
You felt eyes on you as you walked across the quad between classes. For what reason, you couldn’t place, but you knew that you were being watched. Peering across the quad, eyes flitting in all directions, you attempted to find the source of your insecurity. Nothing. You bundled yourself tighter within the thickness of your peacoat, shielding yourself from the blustery December cold. Making your way under an awning, you smelled the familiar odor of cigarette smoke. It wafted in your direction, beckoning for you to turn your gaze upward. Ugh. Of-fucking-course. Sam douche-bag-extraordinaire Kiszka. “Cold as fuck out here,” he said, puffing out O-rings of smoke from the side of his mouth.
“Mm, so you decide to step out in twenty-four degree weather to smoke a ciggy?” You spat sarcastically.
“Bad habit, sweetheart. You know what they say…they die hard.” You couldn’t help but roll your eyes and kept walking away from him. “There’s a party on the row tonight–you coming?” your eyebrows furrow instantly, turning to meet his gaze.
“I haven’t been to a frat party in over a year, Sam. Why would I?” He threw his hands in the air, shrugging. His cigarette remained burning between two fingers, dropping ashes every few seconds to the ground. “Just thought it might be nice to see a refreshing face for once.”
What the fuck? Why was Sam taking sudden interest in me? “I gotta make it to class. See you around.” You waved him off and continued walking to class.
“Hey, Y/N, for old-time’s-sake, it really would be nice to see you there.” His eyes were the color of chocolate, which was ironic. His beauty could melt any girl on campus just like the confection–except for you. You would always be the exception.
“Bye, Samuel.”
Samuel. He liked that. He bit at the corner of his lip, his eyes following you as you disappeared within the halls. Mm, I’ll save her for later. Blowing out the last puff of smoke, he stubbed out his cigarette against the brick wall, dropping it carelessly to the ground before strolling away to the next entertaining encounter.
***
Philosophy class soon turned into Philo-so-fucking-boring class extremely fast. Your mind wandered from the lecture, unable to focus. Why the fuck was he watching me? The truth that you wouldn’t even admit to yourself was that you had feelings for Sam, and had since freshman year. They had remained in the recesses of your mind ever since. For one, he was an asshole. You and almost every girl on campus knew it; however, some part of you would always have a soft spot for him, no matter how cocky he was. He just didn’t know it, and you sure as hell wouldn’t show it either. Fuck that red turtleneck sweater. Why did he have to look so good in it? You caught yourself doodling random hearts and sparkles in the margins of your notes as you thought about him.
“Pssst, hey.” Your best friend, Paige jabbed you from behind with the top of her pen. “Pay attention, there’s going to be an exam tomorrow.” Your hands flew to cover your notebook from her view. “What are you hiding?” She whispered, curious as to why you were being so secretive.
“It’s nothing, just drawings.” You realized a little bit too late that mere drawings wouldn’t have elicited such a reaction.
“Doesn’t seem like it’s just a few drawings.”
“Ladies, would you like to share your conversation with the class? Is it more important than the material that will be on tomorrow’s exam? Would you like to take it today after class since you don’t seem invested in the review?” You fell silent and averted eye contact, heat creeping up your necks to your faces. The remainder of class passed excruciatingly slow. When three o’clock finally arrived, you filtered out of the classroom to meet up with Paige.
“So I was thinking…how would you feel about going to the Row tonight.” Meeting your expectations, she recoiled instantly.
“Uh, who are you and where is Y/N? You never go to parties.” You turn away from her and begin to walk down the hallway.
“I just thought it might be nice to do something different for a change.” Your cheeks were flaming again.
“You’re such a liar. Who is it?” You bit your lip.
“What do you mean?” you stalled. Paige stopped you mid-gait, grabbing at your arm.
“Who is it, Y/N?” You had no choice but to look at her.
“Ryan McClean.” Another Lie. It was a good replacement though. He was sweet, good looking and respectful. At least as much as could be expected for a frat boy. Paige stepped back with a hand on her hip.
“You’ve never mentioned him, let alone told me you have a crush on him.” You continued to walk, ushering her forward.
“Well, it kinda happened fast. I don’t know–I was hoping to see him tonight. I wanted to look cute.” You saved face by putting on an extra air of confidence.
“Okay, okay I see you!” Paige grinned, snapping her fingers left and right as she walked.
“Unfortunately, I have a date with Mark tonight–so I won’t be able to go.” You nodded, secretly relieved that she wouldn’t have to see you lose what little humility you had left.
“Stay connected to the phone, don’t drink too much, play safe, get home safe,” she counted off on her fingers.
“Thank you, Mom. Would you like to dress me, too?” you asked, grinning. Paige rolled her eyes playfully.
“Actually, now that you ask, let’s go pick out an outfit that doesn’t scream…pilgrim lost in the twenty-first century.” You eyed her for a silent moment, challenging each other not to laugh, but you were the first one to lose, throwing your head back and cackling at her.
“You are such a bitch!” You said, elbowing her. “Let’s go." Paige wouldn’t let you go to that party without looking your best.
***
“Lacy Monroe.” “Total babe, 13/10. Would fuck her any day,” Wyatt Sellars interjected, a massive grin pasted on his face.
“Okay, how about Holly?” Matthew asked the question from the ping-pong table, tapping balls back to Wyatt. Christian Hearst entered the room next, a towel wrapped around his waist, applying deodorant to his armpits.
“Wilson? She’s a bit of a bitch, but I'd chase her for a little while until I got bored.” He chuckled, walking to the fridge for a beer.
“How about Y/N?” The room falls silent, save for the fast bounce of the forfeited ping pong ball that was previously in play. Samuel Francis Kiszka. He sits cross-legged on a lounge chair in the corner, knocking back the rest of his IPA.
“You mean the sexiest girl at school?” Wyatt offered. “Is she Mormon or something? She could have easily made her way through the entire football team by now.”
“Jesus, you dumb fuck, she’s not Mormon.” Christian came behind Wyatt, thumping him on the back of his head.
“Well-I didn’t know, I–”
“I think she’s stunning,” Sam says, leaning forward to place his elbows on his knees. His grin was obvious. His cunning expression cut through the room.
“Okay, asshole. What’s with the look?” Christian moved to the couch, taking a seat across from sam.
“I saw her today. Walking to class.” He licked his lips as he talked. Christian rubbed his hands together, prepared to hear about some salacious romp.
“And?”
Sam’s eyes grow wider. “Oh, n-nothing happened, I just saw her.” A chorus of disappointed scoffs filled the room.
“You suck, man. You literally had us going, just for fucking nothing,” Wyatt whined.
“It’s not like anything would happen– I’m pretty sure she’s a virgin anyway,” Sam continued.
“Oh, so she’s the pick of the litter. Nice!” Matthew interjected. Sam looked at him with a minor look of disgust, shaking his head.
“So why are you being a pussy, Sam? I Bet–” Christian pointed his finger at Sam in a telling gesture. “I bet you…I bet you that she won’t let you take her virginity before the month is over.” Rising from his seat, Sam padded to the kitchen tossing his beer bottle across the room, where it clattered into the trash can.
“I bet you I can make it happen. Six hundred dollars and open supply of weed for one month–split evenly.” His grin emanated throughout the room.
“Aha, bet!” Matthew said, coming around Sam to slap him on the back in approval. “Paying up like a man.” Sam took a long gulp of his beer before retreating to his bedroom, shutting the door behind him.
***
Just as you finished your makeup, your hand slipped and your eyeliner streaked messily through the eyeshadow that you had just applied so effortlessly. “Fuck!” An exasperated sigh escaped your parted lips as you wiped at your eyelid to salvage the look. After several minutes, you emerged from the bathroom, fully dressed except for your top–you didn’t want to ruin it with makeup stains. Just as you pulled your head through the sparkly black crop top, your phone chimes. Paige.
Show Ryan what he’s missing, bitch! Shake that ass in my absence, too. Stay safe, I love you. Call me if you need me.
Right. Ryan. My little secret. You sent her a quick text wishing her well on her date. Pulling a pair of gold hoops through your ears, you got a notification that Carlos, your Uber driver, was waiting outside of your apartment. Grabbing a few last minute items, you made your way downstairs. Pulling up to campus, you noticed one thing first. It was loud. So loud in fact, that your head was pounding by the time you made it to the Row. The identical houses were arranged in a perfect square with a patch of green lawn in the middle. Adirondack chairs littered the grass, loosely thrown around a glowing brick fire-pit. Girls looped themselves around boys, chattering aimlessly with beverages that sloppily poured over the sides of their cups and onto their laps and into the grass. They giggled and slurred–their heels dug into the earth, causing several unfortunate partygoers to trip and lurch, earning themselves yet another spilled drink or bitchy laughs from gaggles of jealous and judgemental girls.
You rolled your eyes, debating on going after all, but your feet were already moving underneath you, carrying you along the sidewalk that led to each house. Who were you to think that it was smart to come here alone, especially when it was the first party you had attended in God-knows-how long?
“Y/N!” Your eyes darted upward, trying to place the voice that was calling your name. You found him. Your eyes met his and you instantly felt like you were drowning. A vignette seemed to filter out the unnecessary material around you; the blaring music muted, the giggles and shouts subsided into soft static. He was impeccably dressed in navy silk. A tailored blazer skimmed his bare chest, provided as a mere accessory rather than a true piece of clothing. His bottoms hugged at his frame, falling just above a perfectly shined pair of leather loafers. His hands were casually tucked into his pockets as he looked directly at you–with that fucking smile.
He strode towards you, knocking you out of the trance. Your breath hitched, sending bolts of panic through your system as he approached. Oh shit, what do I do? You thought, averting eye contact as you made every attempt to not look as awkward and helpless as you really were.
“You’re not a hologram, right? If I remember correctly, you acted like you would rather be caught dead than come to the Row.” His feet landed in front of you as he arrived. You met his eyes, crossing your arms defensively.
“Well, I wanted to see what I was missing–by the looks of it, it just looks like it’ll lead to meaningless sex and a bitch of a hangover.” He readjusted in his spot, cocking an eyebrow upward. He likes your sass. He likes it a lot.
“Well, it is a party, Y/N, what better to do than get drunk and fuck, hmm?” You scoffed at him, stepping off to the side, making your way to the first house. You heard his shoes tapping the pavement as he walked. Good. You wanted him to follow you.
“What is your drink of choice?” He asked, trying to change the subject to something more playful. “I usually stick with tequila–the citrus notes are just–” You heard him kiss the tips of his fingers in a “chef’s kiss” gesture from behind you. You couldn’t help but grin, careful to maintain your guarded disposition.
“Got any Pappy?” You asked, turning over your shoulder with a grin. “I’m an expensive lay.”
Sammy snorts. “Two thousand dollar bourbon? You know the fucking answer, sweetheart.” That earned him a smile. You turned to face him and were immediately tossed upside down at the sight of his dimples.
“Well, we do have some lovely white claw reserve that was bought at this very upscale store. Maybe you know it–Target?” You couldn’t help but chuckle at him.
“Shut up, Sam!” He smiled warmly, coming beside you, pulling an arm around your shoulder.
“Let’s go find something worth drinking, hmm?” You hadn’t processed what was happening, but you didn’t want to, either. You let it happen, weighing risk versus reward. You stepped forward into the party with him at your side, forgetting the lie you had told paige. So much for finding Ryan. Instead, you found Sam.
End of Part.
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☀︎ - Fluff ✘ - Smut ☂︎ - Angst
18+ readers only below the cut!
Plant Dad (☀︎) Cuddle Bug (☀︎)
Labor Pains (☀︎) (w/ Dad Jake) Show Me: Part 1 (✘) Part 2 (✘)
Red (✘) Mirror, Mirror (✘)
Come Back (✘☂︎) Out of Body (☂︎)
Rules (☀︎✘) Sweet Relief (✘)
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Reflection (✘) Shackled (✘)
In Your Dreams (✘) Fifth & Cuff (✘)
Don't Take The Girl (☂︎☀︎) Letting Her Go (✘☂︎)
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Doesn't Stay In Vegas (☂︎✘☀︎) COMPLETE (9/9)
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Stuck (coming soon)
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Uncle Joshy (☀︎)
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Bloodshed (☀︎✘☂︎) WIP (5/?) (PAUSED) (in collaboration with @losfacedevil)
Best Kept Traditions (☀︎)
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Jake Kiszka x Narrator & Sam Kiszka x OC.
Chapter One
Summary: The Jones Family are new additions to the sleepy community of Beech Run. A tight knit scattering of rural houses, where everyone knows everyone. Deeply religious and overbearingly strict, the daughters of the family are kept under lock & key by a fanatical Father and submissive Mother. They watch from bedroom windows as their neighbours, The Kiszkas, draw intense curiosity and desire to be free. Madness of youth , hope & obsession collide to bring the danger of forbidden love to poetic ends. (Era A/U)
A/N: I want to dedicate this fic to all my beautiful friends who have loved and supported me through what could only be described as a difficult time. Their belief in me as a person, who tries to be good even though I'm prone to making hellish mistakes, has been unwavering and as such I wanted to create a piece of writing that I felt they would enjoy and immerse themselves in. So, this ones for you @writingcold @sanguinebats @thewritingbeforesunrise @takenbythemadness @edgingthedarkness @katuschka @lvnterninthenight @its-interesting-van-kleep @jakekiszkasbuttsweat @gretavangroupie and everyone else who has been with me on this journey.
Warnings: Religious trauma. Parental trauma. Intense emotions including desire, obsession, grief and yearning. Loss of virginity. Explicit sexual activity. Heavy praise kink. Severe edging. Oral sex m/f. Fingering. Masturbation. Dirty filth talk.
Summer 1984
The Kiszka's were like catching that scent of freshly cut grass on warm summer air. Nostalgic for something I'd never had. Books that I dare not open because my love for the cover meant that I was too afraid to start something I knew I'd never be able to put down. They were Sunday morning distractions, like I'd never known a day without putting my hand to glass and letting their chaos drift in through the open window.
The first time I saw them I didn't know the sound of laughter could make my heart want to die. The sort of rambunctious envy I felt was a thief to any joy I might have found, standing in the dust as I carried boxes into the new house. Theirs was a summer of freedom. And mine was like trying to find solace in the darkness.
The girl was pretty when she smiled. I thought, perhaps, in some other life she and I could have been friends. Sometimes I imagined it, that she would knock on our door and ask for me by name. A delusion I centred within myself whenever I saw her ride by on the yellow push bike that was always leaning against their porch steps. The boys weren't like that, though. No part of me could imagine myself in that wild entanglement. Fires and swearing, ripping their shirts off in the midday heat to wrestle in the dirt. Guitars littering their garage door, riffs that drifted in on the wind making me want to rise from the doldrums.
It just wasn't like that for us. Any hope that I'd carried into Beech Run was dashed the moment my Father shook hands with the patriarch of our neighbours, and immediately insisted that we weren't to go near those people. Godless and bohemian. Without decency. Without enough fear of a faceless, impalpable being that seemed to rule over nobody save for us.
He was a pastor and we paid for that dearly. With our curfews and our diligence and our punishments if we didn't honour God precisely how we should. I stopped believing that an almighty power would have chosen this life for me a long time ago, but nothing felt more certain until we moved to Beech Run. Only the devil would have put us next to the Kiszka's.
"They're so pretty."
Jolene was sitting on the windowsill, playing with her hair as she admired them. She had that faraway look in her eye that most girls had when they were seventeen. Romanticising them, giving them entirely fictionalised morals and wondering what her name would sound like on their lips.
"Come away from the window." I warned, the torture of it something I had already decided I would not endure all summer.
She would bite down on her lip and sway against the glass. Insufferable. Lost in a sea of their sweaty bodies tearing across the front lawn, having water fights and jam sessions in the garage. All the things we were denied. She and I, lumbered with reading lists and prayer groups that made me want to rip out my immortal soul and offer it to the highest bidder.
"The tall one, he looks as if he might sweep you off your feet. He keeps tucking his hair behind his ear, I think I'd like to do that for him."
No good would come of it. I could see the whispering angels and demons perched on my sister's shoulders. Consorting with her. The fathomless ages of young girls who had come before her in their tragic echoes, doomed to desire and the shadow of a breaking heart hanging above her head.
"Come." I encouraged, "Sit and read with me a while. And then shall we see if Ben will take us into town?"
The freedoms allowed to our brother were tantamount to our lack of it. He was the eldest and therefore had the privileges of that. He was male, and existed in a world that Jolene and I did not encompass. Sometimes he would take pity on us and drive us into town to get an ice cream or watch a movie. Sometimes he would be cruel and drive there without even telling us.
"I'm fine here." She sighed, and I suspected she wanted them to see her.
I was far too practical to follow her into that folly of romance. I thought myself immune to it, happy to just read about it in books that would remove me from my present circumstances. Something which had made me a target, previously, for underhand comments as I walked down the school halls or sat in the library just turning pages.
"Fine, until you send yourself silly with all this nonsense." I sighed, putting my book aside and shimmying to the end of my bed.
"I want to know what it feels like, don't you?" She was a dreamer, a conjurer of a fate I could already feel the chill of spilling down my back. "To be taken for a ride in a car, and have them open the door for you. And kiss you goodnight, making you feel like you're the prettiest thing they ever saw. Don't you want that, Bonnie?"
If I had ever wanted it, the moment had passed. Perhaps I was hopeful once, but then hope could be so easily dashed. My sister was beautiful in an uncommon way. Simple and understated, the sort of beauty that was caught at the right angle and once perceived, it was devastating. With long auburn waves and a set of dreamy blue eyes, she had lips that were full and round in complete contrast to what I had to offer.
"No." I replied without hesitation. "I don't want deal with any foolishness, least of all from a man. Don't we put up with enough of that from our own dear brother?"
She rolled her eyes in contention. "It's not the same, and you know it's not. Brothers are nuisances. In the same way Dads are."
With that, I couldn't disagree. Ours was a formidable creature who liked to keep us so pure it was as if any man would contaminate us by breathing the same air. Something which had begun to take it's toll. I had given up, and Jolene was merely awaiting her chance to break all the rules.
"Oh, but not these boys." She sang, returning her gaze to the frivolities unfolding across the street. "These boys are handsome and good. I just know that they are sweet and kind and up close I bet they have all these little nuances that only stand to make them even more handsome."
She would walk into a pit of fire if it promised to love her and adore her. Willing to walk to her heart break like ascending to the gallows with a smile upon her face and would willingly do it all over and over again just for a taste of something like passion. A part of me envied her.
"Maybe you're right." I agreed, deciding it might be worth a peek. "Maybe they are handsome and good. And maybe they will take you riding in a car and kiss you goodnight. But that doesn't change the fact that Dad would never allow it."
There were three of them. The elder of the twins was a lithe and charismatic thing. With a mop of curls and a penchant for wearing his pants low enough that my Dad had balked at the sight of him upon introductions. The younger twin was a little more reserved, hiding behind a curtain of long dark hair. His smile was entirely unexpected just by looking at the depth and darkness of his eyes. Neither of which were mirrored in their younger brother, who had all the hope and exuberance of a puppy dog that hadn't been trained on how to behave around company.
And Jolene was right. They were so infuriatingly pretty. All three of them with the same magnetic curse that had drawn my attention whether I wanted it to or no. I was no better than she, leaning my hand against the glass so that I might see them better. Rolling my tongue around in my mouth as I tried to appear calm.
"I'll jump out of a thousand windows before I ever let Daddy tell me who I can or cannot love."
I believed her. There was something in the way she stared out of that window that made me truly believe she would never let such a thing come between her and her desires. And as I looked down at the object of her affection, he saw me for the very first time.
Shirtless and sweaty, his hair wet and slicked back. He raised a hand to his brow and stared directly into our bedroom window. His brother, coming to see what had distracted him, followed his line of vision. Raising his hand, the two of them drenched and flushed pink as they stood at the end of their driveway regarding us. And we, against our better judgement, stared back.
I often stood in front of the mirror alone, wondering how I might be regarded by another. It was a terrible thing to be young and have innocence imposed. I would trail my fingers down my breasts and imagine that the handsome boy who had peered into my window was standing in the darkness behind me.
I couldn't see him. He wasn't a perfect image. His face was blurred from the distance of where he'd stood in my memories of that day. But it was him that I summoned whenever I touched myself. There was no other who came to mind. It was always the younger twin, the one with the long hair who had dared to stand and watch.
Perhaps it was his boldness that had made him stay with me. There was something bookish about his demeanour, like he'd been written by a woman for other women to fantasise about. Simply by standing there in the summer heat, taking note of me. Like I wasn't a ghost, after all.
"Open the door, Bonnie."
His voice ran through me like the prickle of a stinging nettle against flesh. To hear it whilst I stood there, naked, made my skin crawl.
"Just a second." I replied, pulling on my robe and hurrying to obey.
My Father was on the other side, standing there with a sourness that questioned precisely why I had been in the bathroom quite as long as I had. He would ask if I had been partaking in a sin, but at the same time he wouldn't speak it into existence. He simply cleared his throat and nodded at me.
"Your Mother and I were thinking, for the service this coming Sunday, that you and your sister would like to say a few words about how welcoming our flock have been since we arrived here."
His suggestion drew an audible sigh of disappointment. That I would be expected to stand in front of our neighbours and peers as if I were somehow grateful felt like a deception in the house of God. I could imagine their faces, thinking us good little Christian girls and what perfect examples of the lord's word. A credit to our loving Father. And our Mother, who would sit there in her perpetual silence and allow it to unfold without so much as an uttering against it.
"Of course." I replied obediently, "As you wish, Daddy."
He nodded his approval, clenching his jaw as if he'd anticipated a different response.
"I'd like the congregation to see what lovely girls we have." He mused, the grey flecked moustache that sat above his upper lip twitching. "They need to see that their pastor is the head of a good, solid foundation."
I had already agreed to his demand. There was no requirement for him to stand there and justify it any further. I was consciously aware of my state of undress, and felt it necessary to continue to nod my agreement as I scurried back to my room.
"Oh, and Bonnie?" He caught my arm, firm but not enough to cause pain. "Please make sure your sister stays away from the window tonight."
He would feel superior and I would feel beholden to it. As I smiled and nodded, as if I somehow held the reigns of my sister's deeds. He was smug and I was left wondering how he even knew that she'd been standing there.
"Yes, Daddy." I muttered, knowing it would have been futile to try and convince him otherwise.
She was feigning sleep as I came into the room. Making rudimentary noises and shuffling about as if in dream. I dressed quickly and quietly and it wasn't until I had switched off my lamp and laid my head down that she decided to end her performance.
"Bonnie?"
I flicked the lamp back on. "Yes?"
"Do you think Daddy will let us go to down to the creek this summer? I heard the Kiszka's talking about it outside. They said there was going to be a heat wave and all the kids from Beech Run and the next town over would be heading there. I sure would like to go."
There was an effervescent hope in her voice. That somehow, if she could only say it out loud, it might make it come true. I ruminated on the right way to tell her I couldn't see it being a possibility, not wanting to shatter her dreams entirely.
"Perhaps, if Ben is there escort us, there might be a chance." I offered, knowing that our brother had no intention of escorting us anywhere during his first summer in a new place with all the freedoms and folly of a youth that was extended to him.
She was leaning on her palm. Playing with a thread on her pillow case, her mouth all smushed up as she contemplated what I'd said.
"I just want to be like all the other girls." She sighed, before turning over and signalling the end of her part in our conversation.
"Dad wants us to say a few words at service this Sunday." I told her, plunging the room back into darkness, "Maybe we'll tell them all how he keeps us here like prisoners."
I heard a small, almost indiscernible titter from Jolene's side of the room. But I let her be. Sinking into my bed sheets and trying to imagine I time where I'd ever been satisfied.
He was there, again. Standing in the darkness. Haunting me. His imperfect face just beyond where I could see, the shape of him calling out to me. A set of deep set brown eyes appraised me, squinting through sunlight to get a better look at me. And I replayed it over and over until it was scratched into my memory like an old cassette that had worn it's self down to white noise.
I just wanted to know his name.
It was a Thursday evening. When the wall clock in the kitchen stopped. Summer rain began to fall. My Mother lost her most treasured thimble whilst sewing a set of curtains in the chair by the front window. And my Father was berating us for a less than exuberant attempt at writing a speech for the up coming church service.
He had us standing there like sentinels. Brushing his disappointment over us as if we were his canvas. I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck begin to prickle, a deep rooted need to protect my little sister from this sort of tirade starting to bubble away beneath the surface.
"I don't feel your gratitude, Jolene." He scorned, scrunching her script up in his hands like it was a tissue he'd used to blow his nose. "Try something a little more heart felt."
She was on the verge of tears. I could see them welling up in the corners of her eyes. I looked over at my Mother and felt a sense of abandonment whilst she was still in the room as she searched for the thimble she had lost. Silently willing her to step in, to say something. Anything.
"We'll have something appropriate drawn up by Sunday." I assured him, waiting to be dismissed.
His dominance was always at it's most ferocious when I dared to even tread into defiance. Sometimes I wondered if he took pleasure in it. The way Jolene trembled beneath his word and I tried and fought in vain to protect her. I wasn't the one prone to rebellion and yet it felt as if I always took the brunt simply because I always tucked Jolene behind me, safely squirrelling her away from his overbearing eye.
"See that you do." He simply replied, waving a cursory hand that allowed us to leave.
I heard my Mother rejoice as the lost thimble was found. My heart sinking that this was her biggest joy. That she had barely taken note of her daughters and our pain and the way we were slowly sinking into oblivion. Why was I even trying to obey?
Perhaps I closed my bedroom door a little more aggressively than I'd intended. It caused the pictures on my wall to shudder. The bottle of perfume on my nightstand rolled over. And Jolene fell into her pillows, leaving the stains of tears in the folds of fabric.
"They'd never convict him a court of law because he doesn't beat us." She sobbed, screaming silently into blankets.
Perhaps he would have if the marks would've been translucent. I often wondered if my Dad had ever thought about beating us into submission. Sometimes the bloody veins in the whites of his eyes and the tiny speck of spit in the corner of his mouth as he raged at us made me wonder if he curled his fist up at just the right moment if he would strike.
"I thought, when we moved here, that things might be different." I dared to wonder, "But if anything, he's worse."
Jolene's face was all blotchy and pink. Sodden with tears and her hair stuck to her wet cheeks.
"He knows, Bonnie." She sniffed. "He knows that if we were given half the chance we'd be across the street. With those boys."
Would it have been so bad? To have known a summer of love? I was eighteen years old. Never been kissed. Never been taken on a date and had a door opened for me. I had tried so hard to ignore it, but I could no longer look away from it. The way I'd been spending more time on it, touching myself and imagining him in the place of my own hand.
"You don't care, anyway." She added, with a little more malice. "You don't want any of it. You're always trying to stop me from looking at them. You're always burying your head in a book, as if that will help."
Perhaps I deserved that. I didn't dare tell her that I'd had a change of heart, of late. That my usual stance had begun to shift. Where once I'd thought the wanting had passed, it had started to become an insatiable curiosity. Even my waking thoughts were plagued by it.
"That's not true." I confessed, laying a careful hand in her hair. "I'm sorry if I ever made you feel alone in this. I promise, you're not."
Her nose wrinkled as she looked at me. As if seeing me for the first time. Allied in our awakening interest in the boys across the street.
"I can't stop thinking about him, Bonnie. Every night before I sleep and every morning when I wake up. I wish I could wash him out of my mind. But he's there, all the time, looking up at our window."
"I know, I know..." I soothed, "I've tried to forget that they exist, too."
I'd forgotten to draw our blinds. In our haste to appease our ever demanding Father, I'd left the curtains open too. From the corner of my eye I noticed a light flicker on outside, drawing my attention. I turned and took note of the Kiszka house, the glowing square in the upstairs left quarter was like a beacon against the rural darkness of our street.
"Look." I said, waiting for my sister to follow my gaze.
It was the elder of the twins who appeared. A towel sat snugly around his waist as he ruffled another through his hair. He was lean and perfectly cut, not dissimilar to his counterpart. I felt a sudden shame at watching him, but there seemed to be no care for his close proximity to the window.
He was talking to someone. His mouth moving in soft intervals, as if engaging in a conversation we could not hear. I was enthralled, nonetheless. Wondering what he was talking about. Who he was talking to. He carefully ran his hands through his curls, making sure they were perfectly sculpted. His stomach taught and his arms raised above his head, but it was only inquisitiveness that made me continue to look.
I felt nothing until he appeared. Tossing his brother a clean t-shirt. Doing nothing of value. Padding around and making me feel like the most detestable of voyeurs.
"He's the one, isn't he?" Jolene asked softly, taking note of my how my breath hitched as he appeared. "We can't just pretend like this isn't happening."
"They don't even know we exist." I dismissed her, forcing myself to look away.
"That's not true." She replied fluidly, her voice rising like a song. "We were introduced when we first moved here. They've seen us watching them. Even if it's the only thing they know, it's that we exist."
I wanted so badly for it to be true. I watched him stand there poetically in the window, talking to his brother and running a hand through his long hair. Casual. No care within the world for him. And I envied not only the fact that I couldn't be close to him, but also that I ached to be him.
I didn't settle at all that night. Fretting, feeling as if I held all the anguish in the world in the pit of my stomach. Jolene had nodded off as soon as the light across the street went out. But I continued to stare at the void a while longer. Silent tears streaking my cheek, the salt on my lips like a bitter reminder that it was all I could do to let it out.
I could see my reflection in the glass. A spiritual spectre that didn't have a voice. I stood there in my white linen night gown, ruffled at the sleeves and thought myself truly a ghost. The window was cold to the touch. The night was cool and calm whilst within me raged a tempest.
I didn't want to go to bed and lay down and have my thoughts ruin me. It would have been nightmares that came to me, ones about being locked in a cage. And so I stood there, in the window I had promised not to let my sister stare out of.
That warm glow from across the street reignited. It almost made me flinch. The way the darkness was all consuming, and then there it was. The light on in the room upstairs. I held my breath, as if somehow they'd be able to hear me. Lip trembling as he reappeared, this time alone. A look of forlorn sadness in his face as he went to pull the curtains closed.
He thought he could see something. He thought himself mad as he peered out further, squinting into the darkness as he caught the sight of me. It was in my mind to turn and disregard him, but I was rooted to the spot. Afraid that if I moved I would never feel again the way I felt right then in that moment.
I knew that he could see me. Certain as I knew that he was watching me right back. I could feel the pull of my heart strings dragging it down, into a flurry that churned my stomach like butter. He stood there, his forearm against the glass as he rested his head against it. Staring at me as if he couldn't quite believe I was real.
And then he raised his hand and waved. And I, inexplicably, waved back.
I sat in the choir loft as parishioners began to filter in. Gripping my insincere little speech in my hand, the paper felt as heavy as granite as I turned it in my hands.
I'd barely slept. Keeping vigil the past two nights, waiting for Jake to appear. That was his name. So graciously given to me, scrawled on a piece of paper as we exchanged messages from our respective windows.
It felt like poetry in motion. The first time he held up a crude scribble and asked for my name. It felt like I had been truly seen. I'd hastily scrambled for a pen and a notebook, holding it against the glass whilst he nodded his understanding. Waiting with my heart beating a muffled drum within my chest as he wrote something back.
He asked me why we never came to the creek. Why we never seemed to linger in the wide open spaces all around us. Why we were always in town with our brother. He seemed intrigued. Telling me about his passion for his guitar through page after page of rushed sentences.
The last of which had told me to wait for him in the choir loft before Sunday service.
Only a fool would have agreed to this. To sit there in my Sunday best, knees clicking together in consuming nerves of what I was about to do. Keeping a watchful eye on my Father as he stood at the podium and graciously welcomed his congregation. I'd never seen Jake or his family at church on any Sunday since we'd moved there. I questioned why he'd asked me to wait for him up in the rafters, but not enough to stop myself from agreeing to it.
"Bonnie?"
I clutched the hem of my skirt, knuckles white and my cheeks pale as I swallowed hard. He slid into the seat behind me. Graciously foregoing the seat beside me, I kept my eyes focused forward and felt as if I might melt into the very grain of the wooden pews. He leaned forward, resting elbows on the back of my pew, his breath warm and silken against the curve of my neck.
"Jake." I replied, my mouth suddenly ravenously dry.
What did I even anticipate that the pay off of this risk would be? Just to feel my own heart beating so wildly in my chest that I thought, perhaps, that I might pass out? To have a moment of stolen sin? I could smell the soap he'd used to wash with that very morning and the hint of coffee and toothpaste in the warmth of his breath. Was this ever going to be enough?
"You don't know how long I've wanted to talk to you." He confessed in hushed tones that forced me to close my eyes against the sincerity of the words. "Ever since you moved here. You've been somewhat of an enigma."
Nobody had ever spoken to me like that before. With careless want and an honesty that threatened to choke me. I could feel my palms grow sweaty, a compelling heat rising in my cheeks.
"We're not allowed to talk to boys." I replied earnestly, opening my eyes to a reality I did not want nor could I any longer tolerate.
He scoffed at the insinuation that he was a boy. "I'm twenty years old, I'm hardly that."
There was an innocent playfulness in the way he chased his brothers around their front yard. Their boyish natures belying their true age. I envied more than ever that they'd been granted that. Feeling naïve that I could have ever considered him a mere boy. Now that he was sitting so close to me, I could feel the urge to sin like effervescence bubbling off his skin. Something only men could feel.
"Forgive me." I faltered, bowing my head in solemn regret that I had been so fruitless in my estimation.
But he didn't berate me. "Oh, you're a caged little bird aren't you?"
If I could have let myself cry, he'd have witnessed a dam bursting. I sat there twisting my skirt, almost ripping the paper against it, letting hatred and regret and desire course through my veins. I hoped, more than anything I'd ever hoped for before, that he couldn't see the anguish.
"Are you ridiculing me?" I dared to ask, turning my head ever so slightly to catch him in my periphery.
I could see his lips parted as he lingered at my ear.
"No, never that." He reassured. "But I've seen the way he keeps you behind glass. I've seen you standing at the window watching us. And I tortured myself wondering if you knew that we had been watching you, too."
My breath stilled. "We?"
He boldly leaned a little further forward. Joining me in my gaze as I stared down at the growing crowd below. His chin almost rested on my shoulder, his hair almost brushed against my cheek. I couldn't stand it, the close proximity and the way I felt as if I couldn't move an inch.
"My brother Sam, and I." He confirmed. "He thinks your sister is damn near the prettiest little thing he's ever seen. But I told him no, that's not true. There's more grace and beauty in the older sister. She is where my mind runs to when I look towards your house."
To consider that he had thought of me made the centre of my chest begin to throb with a yearning I had never endured before. It filled that empty space between my ribs. Aching to crawl out and consume the rest of my body. I could scarcely breathe. My hand instinctively dropped the hem of my skirt and flew to my collar bone. Resting there as I tried to calm my beating heart.
"I didn't think you knew we even existed." I whispered, letting his confidence shine down on me, a part of me feeling fearless enough to make these confessions.
"On the contrary." He replied, sweeping his breath across my cheek bone, quite unintentionally as he lingered close to me. " I've thought of you often ever since you arrived. Wondering if you were ever going to make friends with my sister so that I could have the opportunity to talk to you. It was the greatest disappointment when we realised it wasn't meant to be."
His dream had been mine. The two of us worlds apart, and yet staggeringly close. Wanting the same wants. Needing the same needs. Laying his head down each night with that same blurred image of me that I had kept of him, too. God had finally answered my prayers.
"There is nothing more that I want that that." I replied wistfully, "But he would never allow it. We'd be punished. Called wicked. Or worse."
Jake shook his head and slinked back, taking away the heat of his body and leaving me cold.
"There's nothing wicked about the desire for connection." He surmised, tucking his hair behind his ear and pulling out a cigarette from his shirt breast pocket. Putting it between his lips for later. "You tell that air headed brother of yours to bring you down to the creek tomorrow."
"Ok." I replied quietly, feeling the essence of hope leave with him as he scurried away.
He didn't linger. I couldn't see his face in the crowd as I stood at the podium. He'd slipped out as easily as he'd slipped in, and I was grateful. I didn't want him to see me up there. Making a breath full of lies for ears that would have listened to any old garbage I could have come up with.
It was all I could think about as I talked about how the sanctity of strong family values held our bonds with God together. Something about honouring thy Father. As I pictured Jake sitting behind me, hot breath on my skin and the scent of his cologne still in the air I breathed. If I was wicked, I was already going to hell.
Ben was sitting in the car, his arm draped casually over the back of the passenger seat. His hair was neatly combed to the side, his shirt tucked into his slacks as he checked his teeth in the rear view mirror.
"We don't want to go into town today." Jolene complained, slumping into the back seat with a pout that she would never let our Dad ever see. "Why can't you just take us to the creek?"
He turned and pointed an ominous finger. I was inclined to bat it out of my way as I slipped in beside Jolene. Knowing she wasn't going to take no for an answer.
"You're going to town. I got a date with Harriet Dinsmore. I've been trying to pin her down for weeks. So don't start with all this going to the damn creek nonsense." He spat, carefully running a palm down the perfectly sculpted slicked hair that made him look uncannily like our Dad.
Jake had been unflinchingly correct in his estimation of our brother. For Ben, life meant never having to use much intelligence. He would fly off the back of our Fathers coat tails. No doubt becoming a pastor himself. Not for God but for the glory of it. But whilst he still held the keys to the car in his hands, I'd be smart.
"Oh, come on." I rallied, "You don't want your little sisters moping around while you try to court a pretty girl. We're better off at the creek. You can pick us up after."
I caught him roll his eyes in the mirror. "You would have me lie to Dad?"
Jolene popped her bubble gum, smirking as she stared out of the window over towards the Kiszka's house.
"It's only a lie if you tell Dad you're taking us into town with you. Has he asked where you're taking us?"
She knew there'd be a presumption made. But would use the semantics to her advantage. I felt a cool sense of pride in her, exchanging a knowing look as Ben rolled the thought around in his tiny little mind.
"Harriet Dinsmore? Isn't she the girl who works at the ice cream place?" I feigned interest. "She sure is pretty."
All it took was a few soft words about her hair. Her eyes. The way she served ice cream so deftly. She never spilled a drop. I wondered if he'd been so pliant before, if we'd had opportunities missed because we were so afraid of what our Father might do if he found out.
I was fuelled by that simple demand. That we get our air head brother to bring us to the creek. For what purpose, I didn't care. But I knew that if I didn't try I would reek of regret. And once Ben agreed to take us, I felt a sense of accomplishment that I'd never managed before.
Jolene was ratified in her excitement. Staring out of the window, beholden to a freedom so rarely afforded to us. We were given fair warning, of course, to keep to ourselves and not talk to any interested boys. To be on our best behaviour and not give him him any cause to have to tell Dad where we had been.
I did wonder what went through his mind as he dropped us at the side of the road, where the gate that lead down to creek stood open against a rickety old fence. I could hear voices in the distance. Jovial ones. And suddenly I was stricken with the stupidity of what we were about to do.
"Did he really say that?" Jolene asked, pulling down her little linen shorts and pulling fingers through her loose curls. "Did Sam Kiszka really say that I was damn near the prettiest thing he'd ever seen?"
If not for her, then for who? I set aside my reservations. Flattened down the pleat in my sun dress and pulled down the edge of my hat. I would make a fool of myself if it meant that she got to have just five minutes talking to the boy she liked. No more standing at the window wondering.
"That's what I hear." I replied, taking her hand as we sauntered through the gate and down the incline of the field towards the river bank at the bottom.
The tall grass weaved between my bare legs. Brandishing sleek little kisses against my inner thighs. The tips almost brushed against my crotch, each step like a feather dancing against my flesh. And it did not serve me well. I could see him standing on the embankment. Shirtless and long hair blowing in the warm breeze. I felt my stomach tie itself in knots over the sight of him, feeling as if the grass itself was inviting me to arousal as I walked towards him.
"Are you nervous?" Jolene asked, her hand still clutched firmly in the curl of my own. "I'm real nervous."
"Just stay close by." I soothed, "Don't leave my side, and we'll be just fine."
There were pockets of people dotted up and down the tree lined incline. Some were splashing around in the creek bed, where it met a wide opening that created a shallow pool, others were bathing in the sunshine. An array of colourful bathing suits on display. It was hot. The sort of hot where everything felt sticky and wet. There were balls and frisbee's being tossed around. Music playing from a boom box hanging from a broken tree branch. Beers sitting in coolers. Cigarettes and a sense that perhaps I'd bitten off more than I was willing to chew.
They were all there. All three of them and their sister, sitting in folding chairs and on blankets dotted around the clearing next to the water. There were a few faces I didn't recognise, too. Friends, no doubt. I didn't know where to look. It felt as if perhaps we were intruding, on account of the fact we weren't dressed appropriately for the occasion. We didn't even own bathing suits. It was apparent that we'd made a mistake.
Everyone was staring at us. Eyes boring into us as we approached. Jolene's hand squeezed mine. A silent plea for whatever we had walked into to stop feeling like a trap. Why did it feel as if I was feeding not only her, but myself to the wolves? They appraised us like creatures who belonged in a zoo. Eyes widened and sun shades slipped down their noses to get a better look at the Jones sisters.
"You came." Jake said breezily, greeting us at the edge of his little pocket. "I didn't think you would."
It was still in my mind to turn around and head back. But there was something in the way he wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand that made me willing to stay.
"You said to come." I hedged, every inch of me burning from the curious stares.
He was wearing a pair of denim shorts, cut at the knee. With a waist band so low I could make out the edge of whatever he had on underneath. With his body on unapologetic display, I didn't know where to politely look. There was only his eyes that could have accepted my gaze appropriately. And they were so intense I could feel myself wanting to back off.
"I did." He agreed, "And here you are. Let's get you introduced."
We accepted the seats we were offered. But declined the beers. Jolene sheepishly grinned as names were thrown at us and I tried so hard to commit them to memory. There was the Kiszka's; Jake, Josh, Sam and Ronnie. Danny Wagner and another friend from school, Lewis Dinsmore. Who's poor sister was stuck on a date with our unbearable brother. I was grateful for it, regardless. It provided an initial talking point which ingratiated us into the group, enabling me to calm my nerves as I sat there trying to act as if I didn't feel like a duck out of water.
"So, Bonnie. Are you a senior or did you graduate?" Ronnie Kiszka asked, hands on her hips as she supped on a bottle of beer and eyed the length of my dress.
"Umm, I graduated." I replied, "At our last school, in Ohio."
"So, what's the plan? College?" She continued, her questions posed innocently enough. But I felt like I was under the microscope. "I'm going to Michigan State in the fall."
"Oh, that's great." I tried to keep my voice steady and casual. "I'd love to go to college, but I'm needed at home to help my Mom."
Josh was sitting on a blanket, resting on his palms with his chin tilted up towards the sky. Languishing in a similar state of undress as his brother.
"Oh, is she sick or something?" He asked, pushing his shades up into his mess of curls as he looked over at me.
"No." I replied, looking down into my lap. "No, nothing like that..."
Jolene was more than happy to answer their questions. The intrusion didn't seem to phase her, she lapped up the attention like a neglected pup as I sat there wondering what they must have thought of us. Uncomfortable at the idea of it. Of them knowing our Dad would keep us at home rather that receiving a college education. That we were supposed to be somewhere else, and I wondered if any of them would know to keep our being there under wraps.
I couldn't hide my disdain. I smiled and nodded where required, but offered nothing in the way of conversation. I sat in the shadows whilst my sister took the reigns. Her desire to be part of something beyond our house was being fed to bursting and I could see the colour rise in her cheeks the more they enquired. Especially when Sam addressed her directly, their eyes finding each other in undeniable attraction. And all I could do was witness it unfold, hoping that my silence wasn't being mistaken for ill manners.
"You wanna get out of here?"
I looked up. Jake was standing at my feet, his hand extended for me to take.
"I probably shouldn't leave Jolene." I fretted, seeing how much she didn't need me.
"Probably shouldn't." He echoed, keeping his hand firmly offered. "Or is it because you're afraid of what might happen if you do?"
He'd been so kind. So humble. Introducing us to his friends and family. Like we weren't the spectacle we'd been when we first arrived. He'd been hospitable. Making jokes and including us in them. He'd made me laugh. Not just a giggle, but from my belly upwards. Making me radiate a smile that had been hidden for so long I hadn't even known I could smile like that.
"Afraid, of what?" I asked, although I suspected it was what he'd wanted.
He didn't say it out loud. There was only a hint of it in the way he curled his fingers up and urged me to go with him. I thought, perhaps, that he could see my uncertainty etched there in my face as I tried to fit in. All the things I wouldn't confess to. That I was afraid I'd spend my whole life never knowing what it truly felt like to be adored. Afraid that I'd always be a vessel for thoughts and feelings that would never be allowed to be expressed. Afraid that I'd never get to explore what it meant to be a woman. Fears that seemed to go unspoken. And yet, he heard me.
Jolene was sat with her chair practically on top of Sam's. Their heads bowed together in a conversation nobody else was invited to. I could see his hand edging towards coming to rest upon her knee, but he kept graciously stopping himself. Peering into her eyes instead, letting her ramble on about nothing in particular. Enchanted by her. And she, in turn, seemed entirely smitten with him. Blushing every time he tucked his hair behind his ear. Every time he threw his head back and let out the most infectious laugh I'd ever heard. He was being gentle with her.
"Come on." Jake said, "I know a spot we can go to."
Nobody seemed to care as he took one of the blankets and began to lead me away. Jolene looked over, silently watching as he took my hand. Too afraid that if she made a comment she would break the spell between her and Sam. I tried not to think too hard about it, grateful that people had finally gotten bored with our presence.
I would have let him take me anywhere. It felt like a sonnet that hadn't been written yet. The way he held my hand so casually, leading me back into the tall grass. All I could do was watch the way his hair moved in the breeze. Dancing against his flexing shoulder blades. His hips moving gracefully as he stepped between the long blades, blanket tucked under his free arm. The afternoon sun was beating down so hard, my cheeks began to burn. Grateful when he finally led me to a shaded area of tree's a little further down the creek where nobody else had bothered to venture.
I watched him as he laid the blanket down, flattening the grass and making sure we were shrouded by it. Inviting me to sit with him, the sound of flowing water and leaves moving in the dull wind as our soundtrack.
"You ever just lay in the grass and look up at the clouds?" He asked, rolling onto his back and placing arms behind his head.
I wrapped the hem of my dress around my knee's, conscious of the breeze as I laid down beside him. Through the canopy of the tree's around us, I could see wisps of cloud moving slowly against the brilliant blue.
"Not since I was a little kid." I replied, trying to remember the last time I'd done anything quite like this.
He was quiet for a brief moment. But it didn't feel like it needed to be filled.
"I hope you didn't get in any trouble yesterday. I don't think anyone saw me talking to you." He said, pulling out a small bottle of something honey coloured out of his pocket. "Sometimes people can't see what's happening right under their noses."
There was a flash of something in his grin as he lifted his head to take a swig, offering me some before dashing it onto the blanket at his side when I declined. I liked the way his side profile looked as I turned my head to look at him. There was something about the way his nose pointed at the tip, the way his mouth had the most enigmatic curl at the corners. It was obvious that he hadn't brushed his hair that day, but it didn't matter. It only served to suit him well.
I started to feel as if I could climb on top of him. The way he laid there, the muscles in his arms flexed as he laid them behind his head. I'd never been close enough to ever drink him in. I tried to commit to memory all the little nuances that were entirely him, knowing that I'd think of him later in more detail than I ever had before. It made me nervous.
"Clever." I surmised, impressed by his critical thinking. "Do you often do things right under people's noses?"
He smirked and turned his head, knocking me off my steady perch and into a panicked mess as his eyes met mine. I didn't dare look away. I didn't want to make the obviousness of my gaze even more obvious. I hoped that he couldn't tell I could hear the great whoosh of my own pulse when he looked at me. But I suspected that he did, letting his eyes fall down the rest of my body before coiling back up.
"Not everything." He damn near whispered, leaning up to rest on his forearm. "Some things I prefer to do where no one else can see."
It was getting hotter. The air felt warm in my lungs as I breathed. Even in the shade, it was sticky and sweltering. My dress was becoming increasingly drenched, beads of sweat pooling between my breasts. He was glistening in the sun light, his neck saturated as sweat ran down the peak of his adam's apple. Both of us tangibly giving in to the impetuous heat.
"Like what?" I asked, reaching for the bottle to quench a dry thirst that was forming in my mouth.
It tasted like fire. Did nothing to alleviate the dryness, only served to almost choke me and make me cough. Much to his delight as he placed a hand to my back and waited until I'd composed myself before offering his arm for me to lay against as I sank back down.
"Wouldn't want your Daddy catching us here, like this. Would you?" He asked, the sweat of his arm sliding against the back of my neck. "Wouldn't want anyone catching us here like this. I like being here, with you, just the two of us."
The weight of what was transpiring between us almost felt too heavy to bear. I could feel it, travelling up and down my body in waves of undulated panic and arousal. He wouldn't stop staring at me. Making it harder for me to deny myself.
"I like it too." I confessed quietly, allowing him to curl his arm up, making me inch closer to his face.
All the hours of wonder couldn't have stood up to the reality of him. The sweet and gentle nature of him coveting me, with nothing more than a simple gaze and the support of his arm beneath me. He made no attempt to touch me further, and I almost felt like begging him would have ruined the moment.
"Don't you get lonely up there sometimes?" He asked, grazing his bottom lip between perfectly set teeth. "I see your face sometimes and I can't stand the way you look so sad."
Oh, he'd noticed. My heart soared and broke all at once. That he had known not only that I existed, but taken the time to notice my mood made me feel as if our lives were not merely shadows.
"Not lonely." I shrugged, settling on a different word. "Perhaps, sometimes, it's a little melancholy."
He wrinkled his nose and thought about it. Reaching for a blade of grass behind him and ripping it from the ground in order to satisfy his need to keep his hands busy.
"If you were mine I'd never want to see anything but a smile on that pretty face of yours forever more." He said, running the blade of grass against my cheek playfully.
I shrank away. The sensation of it too intimate for me to appropriately deal with. I giggled, but my unease was there in the way my eyes couldn't settle back on him.
"I'm sorry." He apologised, throwing down the grass and trying to settle the vibe between us back into something a little more innocent.
But it was too late. I could feel a familiar throb begin to beat away between my thighs. Latent misery in being unable to satisfy my desires kept me tethered to the blanket, unable to confess that I wanted him to do it again.
"Don't be sorry." Was all I could say, a little more passionately than I'd intended. "I'm just...well, I'm no good at this sort of thing."
He seemed to go quiet all over again. Looking down at our bodies side by side. Swallowing so hard I could see his throat flex. Like he, too, was lost in a sea of words he so desperately wanted to say but couldn't.
"You're not like the other girls." He gulped, pointing out one of my deepest flaws. "I don't want you to be like the other girls. They aren't worth the risk like you are."
How could he have known my worth? Beneath that starry eyed exterior, was he just as nervous as I was? It seemed to me that he could scarcely hold himself back as his eyes moved between my lips and my gaze. Flitting up and down as if in conflict.
"All I've ever wanted was to be like the other girls." I sighed, noticing for the first time that he had moved closer. "Other girls get to be taken out on dates and have doors opened for them. And have goodnight kisses."
The subtle shake of his head intimated that none of that mattered.
"Other girls don't write their name for me in notes I can only see from my window." He said earnestly. "Other girls don't drive me crazy every time I see them come out of their front door on a Sunday morning wearing those pretty little dresses."
I felt like I'd fallen asleep and I'd woken in a dream. I could smell the liquor on his breath he lingered so close. The heat of the day dissipating as the heat of his body took over.
"Other girls don't make me write songs for them, before I've ever even spoken to them..." He stopped, right before his lips would trespass against mine.
"You...wrote a song...for me?" I breathed into his mouth, fingertips digging into the blanket folds at either side of my stilled body.
"For a good Christian girl, you sure do make me feel damned." He posed, speaking with his lips a feather light touch away from mine. "Damned to write songs for a girl I can't ever have."
Was it not enough that I dwelled beneath his touch? Whatever madness made him think he could not have me, I wished for such a fallacy to be gone from his mind. If God had put the attraction that was so palpably clear between us within our hearts, why would God punish us for acting upon it?
True. I was a little apprehensive. Not for the punishment of God, but from a Father who truly believed his word and actions stemmed directly from the all seeing eye above. But, like Jake had already so pointedly said, we were here alone. Just the two of us. No other man nor God in sight.
"Have me." I whispered.
I heard him hold in his breath. Already so close to my mouth, all he had to do was let it happen. Nobody was ever free from temptation, and I was sordidly aware of my need to walk directly into it's aching path.
If God truly did exist somewhere between this mortal coil and the thereafter, I believed that he would not blindly lead me to be tempted beyond my ability. That I may be able to endure it. My spirit and my body in unison for the very first time.
"You would hate me if I did." He whispered back, "I'm wicked, Bonnie. So much more wicked than you could ever imagine."
I didn't believe that anyone quite so beautiful as him could ever truly be wicked. Perhaps wicked in the ways that only brought pleasure, if you were so inclined to allow yourself to enter into that sort of thing.
Was I? That sort of person? He was only two years older than me but exuded an experience which far surpassed mine. Even with his boyish charm and child like nature, he was a man nonetheless. A man that held me in his arms on a hot summer day with the wind chiming through the leaves above us and the softness of the ever trickling water as it ran over rock and earth.
Heaven.
"I ache to know wickedness." I pleaded, feeling insanity wash over me as he still refused to kiss me. "It's not for anyone else to decide."
That one sentence brought him to his conclusion. I could see it there as his brow knitted together delicately, his gaze intensifying.
"You don't know what you've done."
Perhaps not. But I didn't have space for regret. Not when he let our worlds collide. At first, there was nothing but the gentle feel of his lips as they brushed against mine. Softly venturing, exploring what depths he could take with me. A solemn pull back as he checked in with me, I could feel his hand against my balmy cheek. Alabaster turning pink as the blood began to pump harder in my veins. I was breathless without even having to move.
When he'd ascertained that I wanted it, he returned to me. Pressing his lips against mine a little harder. Letting his head tilt to the side, our noses pressed flush into each others cheeks.
I don't know what it was that I expected. Certainly not the rush of adrenaline as he opened his mouth. Nor the moisture gathering between my legs that was certainly not due to the weather as I felt the slippery tip of his tongue converge into my mouth. It was soft and slow, only brushing against mine with subtle intimation that he wanted more.
I suspected that this was purposeful. Nobody had watched us as closely as he had and not drawn the conclusion that I had never been kissed before. I suspected that he knew this was my first time. And he treated it as such. Sweeping his thumb against my cheek bone, letting me whimper softly into his mouth as he pulled away only to slake his hand around the back of my neck and pull me up into an embrace that had more meaning behind it.
And then he stopped. Forehead rested against mine, breathless and lips drenched in each other. He didn't let me go, clutched me harder in fact. Made me wonder if patience truly was a virtue.
"I have thought about this moment over and over." He swallowed, kissing me again so briefly I barely had time to reciprocate before he'd pulled away again. "And always, I'm painfully aware of your virginity. I don't want to hurt you, Bonnie."
Maybe it was the heat. Maybe it was something else. I let my knees unfold, the hem of my dress crawling up my thighs. Immediately I was aware of just how tightly I'd been clenching them, my body immediately softening in his grasp.
"Take it." I offered. "It is yours."
He would have it. Retrieving his senses at the shock of such a thing, he ran a gentle palm down my stomach and his hand came to rest at my waist.
"You're not a good Christian girl at all, are you?" He ventured, kissing me with a little more fervence.
Although the presumption was made based on my willingness to part with my virginity and give it up to him, I knew I'd been a sinner for far longer than I cared to admit. My thoughts had been impure before we moved to Beech Run. The levels of depravity increasing ever since Jake had made his presence known. I wasn't a good Christian girl at all. Not behind closed doors. Not anywhere where thoughts were free.
"I've committed all manner of sins in my mind." I replied honestly, my tongue lilting against my teeth, prepared for another kiss. "Wouldn't you? If you couldn't do anything? Have anything?! Wouldn't you imagine what it felt like?"
"Oh, I would." He replied, licking into my mouth with all the urgency of a man who had been granted his greatest wish. "But I don't want you to imagine anymore. I want to give you everything you've ever wanted."
He laid me back down. Sinfully slow. Taking in the sight of me, hair fanned out on the blanket and my lips swollen. My breasts sitting comfortably beneath a modest neckline, my sun dress being something I would have worn to church. Wondering if he felt the same fear that I did.
"Give it to me, then." There it was, that little beg that had been threatening to spill out of my mouth ever since he'd put the blanket down.
His hand travelled further south. Parting my knees. He ripped another blade of grass and settled it between his thumb and index. Teasing it above my face in the air, making me nuzzle into his chest as I tried to run from it.
But he didn't run it against my cheek. I soon realised it was for a far more nefarious purpose. I dared to peek out from his embrace. A look of total devotion there as he swept the blade up my inner thigh. The almost breath like touch of it reminded me of how it had felt as I'd walked towards him. I held my breath. My dress sat just below where my underwear could be seen, everything else on display. And he unashamedly caressed me, using the blade as his guide.
"Soft little babygirl." He crooned, "It'd be almost cruel to ruin you."
I didn't need his protection from it. The inflection of annoyance at his suggestion that my virginity was something I wanted to keep was hard to hide. My expressions betraying me as I looked up at him.
"Lucky for you, I can be cruel." He added, marking his territory on my heart. "Would you like me to be cruel?"
"If the devil so wishes." I replied, "I fear I'm already ruined by my own intrusive thoughts."
The tip of the blade ran down the fabric which sat between it and my naked flesh. At it's most vulnerable spot.
"You don't have to be virtuous with me. Not anymore." He promised, "I'm not your Daddy."
It was clear invitation to step into my desires.
"Tell me I'm a good girl, Jake." I needed it. "You can be as cruel as you like, just tell me I'm good."
I don't know why I needed to hear it. Maybe there was a part of me that still dwelled in the church where I needed to be holy in order to exist.
His eyes widened at my demand. Staring at me, like I was Jesus on the cross and he had come to worship. He let the blade of grass go. Preferring to run his hand up my thigh instead. I shuddered. Let my lip curl into my teeth. Never taking my eyes off him as he brushed a fingertip against my moist crotch.
"Such a good fucking girl." Partnered with the curse word, his praise left me bound to him. "Does my good little girl want to get fucked?"
The abruptness of his question left me open mouthed. I wasn't shocked because it offended me, I was shocked because the answer was an unequivocable yes. They way he claimed me with that one, solitary use of the word my left me dizzy. Of course I was his. And all I could do was nod my consent.
"You tell me you're innocent and beg to get fucked with the same mouth." He breathed against my lips, hooking a solitary finger around the fabric of my panties, his knuckle brushing against my slit. "That's my extra specially good girl, isn't it?"
He was playing with me. Strumming me like his guitar, like a song written just about me. Pulling down my underwear until they sat at my knees, I was completely at his whim.
"I'm not going to fuck you, though." He said softly, raking those same calloused fingertips that had held my face as he kissed me through the sodden valley of my pussy lips. "Not yet."
I knew it was futile to beg. Not when he so gently and pliantly planed his fingers down the edges of what I could tolerate. He would bring me to the brink and tell me it was what I needed. Dancing with the devil, my sinful thoughts brought to light. I'd never been happier than I was right there on that blanket in the tall grass. In the shade of the grove of tree's that surrounded us, in the hottest summer I'd ever recall.
"You're so fucking beautiful." He said, leaning back into a kiss that was now familiar, his tongue edging into my mouth enough to send a flood onto his fingertips. "You tempt me so..."
"Anything, Jake." I breathed, "Anything you want, just tell me what to do."
He softly ran the pad of his thumb over my aching, swollen clitoris. I moaned, let my eyes close, turned my face away in fear that I would look ridiculous to him. I'd never dared to venture to that part of myself before. Letting the throb ebb and flow whenever I was aroused, never allowing myself a moment to indulge in it.
"Pull my zipper down." He instructed, rutting his hip into my side. "It's kinda uncomfortable down there."
In the furore of him touching me, I'd failed to notice his maddening bulge. I felt foolish and girlish, stupid for not realising he was aroused too. My hand wasted no time in releasing him. Pulling down his zipper and opening the button of his denim shorts. I didn't dare put my hand inside, still feeling a little trepidation of touching him back. But the relief was there as he eyes rolled back, grateful just to be free of the constraints against his hard on.
"I want so badly to sink my fingers inside you and ruin this pretty little pink thing." He murmured against my ear. "Tell me it's ok. Tell me I can feel you from the inside."
I couldn't bear it. The need to be penetrated coupled with the fear of whatever pain might accompany it. But he was too beautiful to deny. The tip of his nose pressed against my cheek, his breath warm and like fire.
"I'm ready." I replied, even if my mind had not been quite up to speed with my body, I still would have let him have his way.
Not simply because of the way he turned me on. But the way he made me feel so cherished whilst doing it.
"Relax for me, sweet girl." He whispered, lips pecking kisses against my temple, hands opening my thighs a little wider. "Just let me take care of you."
The sting of a single digit cast aspersions throughout my body. He was slow in his intention, hissing back a soft moan as he let it slide all the way to his knuckle. I fought against my body's responses to cry out in pain. It hurt. But everything else was a welcome distraction. His voice. His scent. The feel of his body next to mine. All of it.
"Look at you." He praised, railing his kisses back down to my mouth. "The goodest of all girls."
He began to slowly pull it back, savouring the way my mouth opened at the sensation of him sliding it back inside. He didn't attempt to add more fingers, or ruin me the way he'd promised. He simply enjoyed the way I felt. The way I showed him my devotion in simpering moans and errant panting. His middle finger buried deep inside, palm pressed against my wet clit. Completely at his mercy.
"You've bewitched me, Bonnie." He confessed in soft whispers, "With your tight little innocent pussy. And that fucking smile, I can't stay away from you..."
No church girl could ever do witchcraft any justice. But I believed him.
"Then don't" I urged, not knowing what it would mean when the time would come for us to pick up this blanket and leave.
"Never..." He buried his tongue into my mouth, venturing deeper than he had before. "Will you cum for me, pretty little sweet thing?"
I didn't know what he meant. And I wouldn't spoil whatever spell I had managed to weave by asking him. If I were a flower I could feel my petals begin to wilt and fall. How could I tell him that I didn't know what he asked of me? I didn't want him to stop until I was completely deflowered. And whatever it was that he meant by cum, I hoped that I could do it for him.
"Anything...anything you want." I moaned, louder, arching my back to feel his fingertips deeper.
"That's it, oh, you're close..." He said, curling his finger up inside me, in a beckoning motion that almost sent me over the precipice. "You'll know when you get there, my little Ingenué."
His use of another language was unexpected. And his face said it all as I bashfully smiled into another insatiable kiss. He was right, though. I did know when I arrived. There was nothing about it that was anything I could have expected. With no knowledge that such a thing even existed, I was ebbed towards it like I was blind and seeing for the very first time.
At first it was like a muffled song I could hear from another room. The melody was there, I just couldn't pick up the lyrics. All I could see was those beautiful, deep brown eyes of his with the dark circles beneath watching me in wonder as it cascaded over me. The song no longer muffled, the crescendo of a great symphony in my eyes as I finished against his palm. The way he looked so satisfied letting me know that I'd done good.
"Ssssh...sssshhh..." He soothed, "It's ok sweet girl, I promise...it's ok."
I didn't know that there were tears falling down my cheeks until I tasted the salt of them on my lips. The sweet relief of something I hadn't known I'd needed filling me up from the soul upwards. He slipped his finger out and pulled up my panties, making sure that I wasn't hurt.
"I feel so foolish..." I cried, "How could you want me? When I'm like this?"
"It's because of this that I want you." He reassured me, grabbing the length of his aching cock beneath his boxer shorts and adjusting himself to a more comfortable position. "Don't you get it? It turns me on. The thought of nobody before me. That you'd be mine, entirely. And I can promise you here and now, I will protect you no matter the cost."
I couldn't wrap my head around what the cost might be. Only the way he didn't expect me to touch him back in that moment. He started to soften eventually as we laid there together, his hand running gentle strokes through my hair as I calmed. And he tucked himself away, promising that he would save it for another time.
The afternoon was growing late as we packed up and sorrowfully left our quiet little spot. The grass where we had laid all flattened in the perfect shape of where our blanket had been. A sorry reminder that the moment had fleetingly passed. I kept catching his eye as he tucked it underneath his arm, and he reached out to take my hand again.
"What now?" I asked.
"I don't know." He replied, with equal sadness. "But something tells me it'll be worth it."
We walked back in contemplative silence. Content just to be together a few more moments until it would be cruelly snatched from us. I could see that some of the crowds had already begun to disperse as we headed towards the plunge pool. A little less heavy on the noise. I could see Josh and Danny standing by their little group, deep in conversation whilst Ronnie packed up the boom box and cooler. Lewis was idly folding chairs, stacking them up ready to be carried back to the road.
"Where the fuck did you guys go?" Josh asked, watching us approach hand in hand. "Was about to send out a search party. We might have to, if Sam and Jolene don't get back here soon."
I had no concept of the time. I could feel the coolness of late afternoon on my skin, where once it had burned. The sun was still beating down as earnestly as it had been, but it was a little further towards the west.
"Shit, what time is it?" I asked, bile rising in my throat as I began to wonder if Ben was waiting for us up by the gate.
"It's a quarter to six." Josh replied, shaking his wrist as he checked his watch. "Why?"
I let go of Jakes hand. Circling the area for a visual of my missing sister. I couldn't see her anywhere.
"No, no this can't be happening...Ben will be here to pick us up in fifteen minutes..." I panicked, visibly shaking as I ran down towards the creek edge.
I called out her name. But there was no reply.
To be Continued...
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@caprisunsister @thewritingbeforesunrise @takenbythemadness @katuschka @its-interesting-van-kleep @lvnterninthenight @writingcold @jakekiszkasbuttsweat @edgingthedarkness @velveteencatch @lyndz2names @nina-23-45 @itsafullmoon @vikingisthenewsexy @char289
#greta van fleet#jake kiszka#josh kiszka#fanfic#greta van fleet fan fiction#gvf#fanfiction#gvf fanfiction#jake kiszka fanfic#jake kiszka x reader#sam kiszka gvf#sam kiszka fanfic#sam kiszka
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Mirrors and Reflections: Sam Kiszka x Reader Fanfiction
description: what better way for your boyfriend to examine all your perfect features at once, than with a mirror?
word count: 3.0k
warnings after cut...
warnings: smut (fingering), bit of fluff, praise kink, minimal plot, begging, lots of teasing, little bit of choking
a/n: my first Sam fic! it's been a long time coming, but I'm excited to put this out for all my Sam girls. :) this is a super smutty one, so strap in folks, and enjoy ;).
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You had noticed Sam's eyes on you as you examined your clothed body in the bedroom mirror. With a light smile, you flicked your gaze to his. He was leaned against the doorframe with his arms folded across his chest. You had noticed he was wearing a partially open dress shirt, with pants that tightened around his thighs and loosely hung around his ankles. He was dressed up as much as you were, since you and him planned on attending a nice dinner for the night.
He was admiring you from afar, as you were wearing a tight black dress that clung to your curves. The outfit fully displayed the shape of your body, which allowed Sam to see every intricate detail that made your body the perfection it was in his eyes.
You turned your body with your head over your shoulder in the mirror and choosing to allow Sam to watch you in silence. Your eyes trailed up from your back, and down to your ass, then the backs of your legs. Once you turned the front of your body to the mirror, you looked to Sam again with light crimson cheeks and a shy smile.
Instead of saying something overly confident, you posed the question, "everything okay?" You turned your head in his direction to watch him remove himself from the frame of the door and stride over to you with a wicked grin.
"You look beautiful, really, truly, beautiful." He said to you.
His hands ran to your sides, pulling your body into him and pressing a light kiss onto your neck. He rested his chin over your shoulder, walking his eyes down your body and allowing his hands to run up your sides, and back down to your hips and squeezing them tightly. You stared at him through the mirror, noticing he was examining each part of you. From your exposed collarbones and shoulders to the tops of your breasts that were on full display from the low-cut dress. To the way your curves were outlined by the dress, hugging your figure tightly and showcasing your build. He was captivated by the sight of you in the dress, as he always was. He worshipped you and your body and adored the sight of you.
"What time are our reservations?" You breathed, watching as his lips moved slowly from your jaw and down your neck to your shoulders.
"In like, an hour." He hummed against your skin, continuing his journey with his mouth as he moved back up to your pulse point.
You pressed your lips together and released a soft, pleasurable hum, feeling the sensation of his mouth sucking gently upon your neck. Your hand raised to the side of his head, letting your fingers ravel into his hair and lightly tugging at it.
His lips pressed a light kiss onto the shell of your ear, flicking his eyes into the mirror and noticing your tentative gaze. His hands slowly made their way up to your breasts, watching as your mouth fell agape as he began to massage them.
"You are perfection, you know that? Divine," he traced one of the pads his fingers into a circular motion where your nipples were resided under your dress, "breathtaking, radiant, angelic. Do you know that?" He placed his hands onto your waist as he pressed his fingers into the skin.
Your hand fell to his smooth cheek, giving him a vigorous nod. He made you feel like you were a goddess, never letting your insecurities overtake you and capture your spirit. His words of affirmation never faltered, and he was always persistent on telling you how much he truly praised you and your essence.
He removed his hands from your waist, finding the zipper on the back of your dress and slowly unzipping it down your back. He stood only far enough to do the act, with his eyes still locked on yours and his lips just barely touching the side of your head.
"Sam," you breathed, "what about dinner?"
A smile was plastered on his lips as he suppressed a laugh, continuing to finish the job of unzipping your dress and stopping right at your tailbone where it ended.
"We have time." He gave you a light shrug and brought his hands to the straps of your dress.
They were thin, barely piercing into your shoulders as he slid his fingertips under them. He was careful to be slow, teasing you as if neither of you had seen what lied underneath your clothes. He always took his time when it came to pleasuring you. He loved the hilt your voice picked up when he was touching you, when his hands rested upon your body.
The straps of your dress fell down to your biceps, and he tugged them down even further to reveal your bare breasts. His eyes stayed lock onto your hardened nipples, pressing his lips together and swiping his tongue on his bottom lip with quirked brows. Every time his eyes landed on your bare body, it was as if it was the first time he'd seen it before. You adored that about him, and he never made you feel as though you should be worried about your appearance.
Your hands fell onto the tops of his, trying to speed up the process of getting your dress off. But he turned his hands over to stop you, giving you a faint shake of his head.
"Let me take care of you, okay? Just do as I say, y/n." He spoke close to a whisper.
A light whine bubbled in your throat, but you obliged, removing your hands from his and leaving them at your side.
As soon as the dress slipped down to your feet and pooled around your ankles, the only undergarment worn by you was a lace red thong, as you knew the night would most likely have a sexual encounter. You loved dressing up for Sam, and surprising him with different forms of lingerie that you knew he’d enjoy.
“Step out of the dress for me, yeah?” He patted your bare waist, and you quickly lifted your feet out of the dress and kicked it to the side. “That’s better.” He hummed, tucking his bottom lip under his front teeth.
His hand trailed down your arm, teasing you and watching your eyes locked on the movement of his calloused fingers. He gave into your longing gaze, pressing a kiss onto your cheek, then turning your face into him with that hand to kiss you harshly. A light, airy whimper was capsulated behind your lips as he met them, then opening it and following the fluid motion he set of his mouth.
His tongue grazed your bottom lip, invading your mouth with the muscle and allowing it to explore. You swirled your tongue around his own, feeling his hands travel to your breasts from behind you and opening your mouth with a gasp as soon as his fingers began to circle your nipples. You pulled away from his lips, looking into his eyes as his fingers squeezed gently at the hardened buds, twisting them and soothing you into pleasure.
“I love when you look at me,” he began, “but I want you to look at yourself. Watch as I pleasure you.” He nodded his head towards the bedroom mirror in front of you two, and your head whipped to it. Your eyes immediately landed onto his hands, as he began to massage your breasts and your head leaned back onto his chest with a sigh.
“Feels nice.” You spoke softly through hooded eyes. You relaxed onto him as best as you could, with delicate moans breezing out through your parted lips.
He nodded with a hum, pressing light, feathery kisses onto the crook of your neck.
One hand fell to your clothed cunt, drawing light circles around your clit. He placed light pressure upon it and watched as you writhed from the needed friction and begged with your physical movements for more.
You reached for your underwear, and he pulled away to place his hand on your unoccupied breast. You tugged them down quickly and shimmied them off, then throwing them off your ankles to the side on the bedroom floor. He released an airy laugh through his nose at the action, placing a kiss onto your temple and continuing his motions.
His movements on your breasts and nipples faltered, now having one hand placed on your lower belly, and the right hand coming to your mouth.
He pressed down onto your chin with his thumb, signaling for you to open your mouth.
“Spit.” He demanded lightly, and to which you did on his middle and ring finger, and he brought his hand down slowly to your sex.
The fingers pressed onto your clit, and you jerked your hips forward to receive any sort of friction you could. Your eyes lifted to him, as you saw a wicked smile appear on his face. He was enjoying having you wrapped around his finger by his touch alone - or, lack of touch. But his thumb on his left hand rubbed softly at your belly, with up and down strokes.
“Please,” you whispered to him, “please, Sam." Your voice hilted as you uttered his name.
He loved to hear you beg, to know that you were entranced under a spell by him. You writhed and bucked from the hard pressure upon your clit, with pleading eyes looking to him and then back to the mirror.
He began slow, circular motions on your clit, watching in the mirror as a light sigh exhaled from your mouth. He mimicked the way your mouth opened in a playful teasing act, smiling at you as you continued to moan by his movements.
His hand that rested on your stomach rose to your neck, wrapping his fingers around it and tilting your head forward by pressing into the skin to force your eyes upon yourself. He was tentative to drawing out each circle he would complete to lengthen each obscene noise that escaped your mouth.
"Look at you," he whispered, speeding his motions up and causing your moans to grow louder, "look at how beautiful you are. Every part."
You hummed with a hint of a smile, letting your mouth drop open and running a hand to his face. Your other hand ran to his side, to hold him as close to you as he already was. But you wanted to touch him and his body, to show just how good he was making you feel.
As he slowed his movements, your chest heaved from the faltering touch. You had enough time to catch your breath, yet you were prepping yourself for whatever was bound to happen next. He pulled you into his body fully, unwrapping his hand from your neck and hooking you into his body by his arm. Your ass was fully pressed into him, where you could barely feel his hardened cock from underneath his dress pants.
From the awkward yet efficient position, he was able to find your entrance, slipping his fingers in ever so slightly as to watch as your mouth drop open. Hung agape, you moaned his name, calling for him to dive deeper into your entrance, and start pumping his fingers.
Your eyes fell to his movements to see from the best of your ability the work he was putting into you. Although you could feel it, there was nothing better than to fully examine his fingers disappearing inside of you, then reappearing only for a moment to then plunge back into you.
"Fuck, Sam." You groaned as he curled his fingers inside of you. "Just like that."
He pressed another kiss onto your temple. "That feel good, y/n?"
"God, yes." Your eyes rolled back, blinking them open as to make sure you obeyed his word of keeping your eyes locked onto the mirror.
You had never experimented with a sexual act in front of a mirror before. Fully exposed, looking hopelessly mesmerized from Sam's fingers inside of you. You hadn't seen yourself like this before, and to see the way Sam's face contorted in pleasure at the way your walls sucked his fingers in was just the perfect bonus into this experience.
He was slow at first, grazing your insides with the pads of his fingers and only pushing up to the first knuckles, watching them go in and out of your entrance. He was captivated by the sight. He had enough of his own game, and your pleasured groans of his name were begging him for more. So, he dove his fingers deeper into you, passing his second knuckles and pulling out slowly, before punctuating you harshly when he pumped them inside of your walls again.
His fingers worked marvelously inside of you, quickening the pumping of his fingers, curling them so effortlessly and hitting the spot inside of you that he only seemed to be able to reach. Any noise that left your mouth only drove him to work faster, to send you to your orgasm quickly.
He was tentative to making sure you had an orgasm each time you two had sex, or him simply being between your legs, fully worshipping you and your pussy. He was drinking up the sight that unfolded in front of him, and although he would tease you for as long as the night would allow it to, prior obligations told him that he had to be quick with you.
Your eyes flicked to him. His eyes were shut slightly, eyebrows furrowed as his fingers were quick inside of you. Before he was able to look to you, your eyes moved towards yourself, moaning into the mirror and tugging at his long hair.
Sharp cries echoed through the room, and you could feel his cock throb against you as your ass began to grind down onto him. You looked at him for a moment with a flushed face, full of euphoric ecstasy and longing for your release. But, God, did his fingers feel so perfect inside of you.
Your back arched away from him, although your shoulders stayed pressed against his chest, and the coil that wrapped inside of your stomach was begging to be unraveled. You were so close, just mere minutes away from being sent over the edge and releasing onto his fingers.
There were tell-tale signs that you were about to finish: your moans grew louder, any words that you spoke were slurred, and your thighs tightened around him. He made sure to keep his grip tight on you, as to not let you pull away from him and fully be enveloped into his body as much as you could be from the position.
"Please don't stop," you whined loudly, "I'm so close, Sam." Your eyes were nearly screwed shut, with your eyebrows pulled tightly together and your mouth fully hung open. Your squinted at yourself to see how tense your body became, with the muscles of your thighs beginning to physically tighten right before your eyes.
"Watch yourself cum, y/n." He said through gritted teeth, although the demand didn't come out as angry. It was more of a plea, to watch yourself fully bare yourself to him and coat his fingers from his doing. "Just look at how beautiful you are when you cum."
It only took a few more seconds for you to be sent over the edge. Your legs trembled around his hand, and your hand that once sat at his waist grabbed at his wrist. You nearly fell forward, along with letting your head fall, but Sam moved his hand that sat in a fist on your bicep to your chin. He was forcing you to watch yourself fall apart, to see your fucked-out expression with light sweat forming on your hairline.
He guided you through it with a light smile that barely exposed his teeth. He watched intently at each jerk of your body, each muscle tightening, and listening to each choked moan that grew in your throat and eventually tumble out of your mouth.
His fingers pulled out from you, glistening in the dim light of the bedroom and raising them up into the mirror to let you examine your release. His fingers spread apart, showing just how much you coated them. Then, his eyes locked with yours in the mirror, putting his fingers into his mouth and sucking them clean. You leaned your head back and tore your eyes from the mirror's view of Sam to watch as he licked them right next to you, then popping them out of his mouth and wiping his saliva on his pants.
You stared at him breathlessly, letting your fogged mind come back to reality as he stared down to you. He removed a strand of hair that stuck to your forehead, placing his hand that once was used to work you to an orgasm onto your hip. Your legs felt wobbly, with your breathing still slightly labored.
He placed a kiss onto your lips, then untangled himself from you and bent down to grab your stranded dress off the floor.
"Alright, dinner?" He said casually with a smile.
You grabbed your underwear off the floor, slipping into them and then walking over to him. "I'm sure we're late on our reservations."
"Maybe, but we can always go and see if we can still make it. If not, then we can just come back here and do whatever you please." He said with a light grin.
You threw your dress onto the bed and shrugged. Your eyes flicked to the clear imprint of his cock through his pants, then met his eyes through your lashes. "Maybe I can return the favor, and we order in instead?" You ran your hands down his chest.
"Sounds good to me." He said with a shrug, then cupped your cheeks and brought you into a deep kiss.
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taglist: @ageofhearingloss @sacredjake @mountain-in-springtime @ignite-my-fire @gvfsstardust @jakesguitarsolo @tripthelightfatality @gold-mines-melting @digitalcalamity @demolitionndann @lipstickitty @joopsworld @gvfpal @hellowgoodbye @writingcold @stardustcatcher @absolutely--mental @hippievanfleet @haileygvf @gretasfallingsky @dont-go-home-without-me @beckahvanfleet @indigofallingsky @sinarainbows @sam-i-am-20 @laneygvf @malany-gvf @josh-iamyour-mama @starshine-wagner @lyndz2names @jjwasneverhere
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Greedy
Sam Kiszka X Fem reader
18+ only, minors DNI
This is definitely not my best work, but I really struggle with writing Sam. Id almost just categorize this as a blurb. I hope its still decent! xoxox
Warnings: Degradation, fingering (vaginal and anal), choking, unprotected sex,
You made your way through the crowded bar, 2 beers in hand as you made your way back to Sam. He was right where you left him, playing pool with his brothers.
"Hey Danny!" you said as you got back over, "When did you get here?"
"Just a few minutes ago, it's good to see you y/n" He said as he pulled you into a side hug.
"You too," he replied,
"Fuck" You heard Sam say on the other side of the table. He had just made an awful shot. You made your way to his side and held out his beer to him,
"Here ya go babe"
"Yeah, just put it right there" He motioned to the small table in the corner where Jake's gf was sitting with the guys drinks. You were a little thrown off by his answer. No thank you? Not even a smile, just an order. You shook it off, walking over and placing his beer on the table like he'd asked. You chatted with Jake's partner for a while, and then walked back over to the game of pool being played. You waited for Sam to take his turn, and then walked up behind him, wrapping your arms around him. He wiggled out of your grip, gently pushing your arms away, but pushing them away none the less.
"What is your deal?" You finally asked, not willing to let it slip this time,
"I'm playing a game of pool right now y/n, in case you hadn't noticed." He motioned to the table, speaking in a tone that was very condescending. You immediately felt the 3 other guy's attention fix on the two of you.
"Ok AND? You weren't taking your turn I was just trying-"
"AND you're being fucking clingy" He snapped, "Can you just give me some space?" You stood silent, a slow blink and a quirked brow. You could feel your blood boiling, but you reigned it in. He hadn't even looked at you when he talked to you, but the other 3 saw your reaction. Their eyes got wide, probably waiting for you to rip him to shreds, take him down a few pegs. That is how you would have normally reacted. Tonight, tonight you weren't going to humor him. You weren't sure what his issue was, but it wasn't you. However, you weren't a fan of how he had just disrespected you in front of not only your friends, but a whole bar. When you didn't speak, Josh did
"Sam, don't be a dick to y/n because you suck at pool" he said, always one to stick up for you, even though he knew you rarely needed assistance.
"No, it's ok Josh" you said calmly, walking back over to your little table in the corner. You sat there for a few minutes before Jake came over,
"It doesn't justify how he just treated you, but he had a rough day in the studio today, thats why we came out tonight" he shrugged. You nodded, that did explain his shit mood. He had been quiet at home earlier, and even quieter on his way to the bar.
"Who is DD tonight?" You asked simply,
"Danny, why?" you nodded, digging in your bag.
"Because I'm about to leave. Can you do me a solid and keep Sam distracted while I do? Not that he'd fucking notice." you clenched your jaw as you finally found your keys. "And don't tell him that I left?"
"You, are something else. I don't know why he ever crosses you" Jake smirked, "Give me a few minutes and then you can sneak out. You know he's gonna be pissed right?"
"Thats the plan" you replied with a devilish grin. Jake just shook his head and walked away. After a few minutes he led Sam over to the jukebox. You grabbed your bag and disappeared into the crowd, out the door, and into your car. You got in and turned it on, sitting for a second, wondering if this was wise. To hell with wise, you thought, Sam had been a complete dick and needed to learn a lesson. You put the car in drive, and went home.
Once you got home, you immediately changed into your favorite cozy sweater and a pair of panties. After slipping on your favorite chunky socks you picked up your book and made your way to Sam's at home studio. It was your favorite place to read, it had a comfy little armchair you liked to curl into. You wanted to escape the bullshit of this night and drift off into your fantasy world.
You weren't sure how long had passed, but you were pulled back to reality when you saw the flash of lights from someone pulling into the driveway. You scrambled to find your phone which had fallen between the cushions. It had been 2 hours since you got home, and you had multiple texts-
9:23 Sammy- Where are you?
9:47 Sammy- Y/n, I'm ready to leave, where are you?
10:02 Sammy- I'm getting worried, can you please respond
11:05 Dan the man- Just a heads up, we are almost to your house, and he is PISSED
Shit. Shit. You had been given time to calm down, but Sam..
You nearly jumped out of your skin when you heard the front door slam shut.
"Y/n!" He barked as you heard his footsteps quickly approaching down the hall. You were frozen in your chair, the edge in his voice already had goosebumps on your skin. He appeared in the doorway, his brows pinched together and his face red. You could see that his jaw was clenched.
Oh, he was mad. He was so, so, mad.
"Sam-" You started as he stalked across the room to you,
"Shut it. You just sit there and fucking listen." He snapped, leaning down and caging you into the chair by putting a hand on each armrest. You shrunk into yourself as you looked up to him with wide eyes, "Do you know, how worried I was when you weren't answering my texts?! I walked around that bar so many times, I checked outside, I was a wreck. And then I thought, 'oh she has her gps on'. So I look, and imagine my surprise when I see that you aren't even at the bar, BUT AT HOME." He shouted.
You were trying to listen, you really were, but you had gotten distracted. His lips were pink and his breath smelled like tequila, his chest was heaving up and down as he talked, his brows were furrowed, he looked too good. You wanted him, and you wanted him like this.
"Y/n! Are you even listening?!" He snapped, grabbing your chin now. "I asked what you were thinking?! Leaving me at a bar and just not answering my texts!"
"I was giving you space." you replied, batting your eyes and playing dumb, "Just like you asked." He glared at you, a muscle in his jaw feathering.
"So this was all some fit, because I didn't give you attention when you wanted it? Are you fucking kidding?" He questioned, grip still on your chin. You held his stare,
"I'm really sorry" You said, sugary sweet as you danced your fingers across his thigh. He caught the glimpse of the wicked smile that graced your lips,
"You're not sorry." He knelt in front of you, hand dropping to your neck. He held it in a barely there grip, "You're just playing the innocent little slut card now because you want to be fucked."
"Uh uh" You hummed with a shake of your head, a lie.
"Thats why you got so mad huh? Because you wanted to be fucked back at the bar too, didn't you? Wanted me to bend you over that pool table and make you cum right there in front of everyone? Greedy little spoiled brat not used to being told no?" He raised a brow, waiting for your response,
"Not my fault I've been spoiled" you challenged, shifting in your chair to spread your legs,
"Good girls know to accept what they are given and be grateful, not to go around begging for more" He paused as his eyes drifted down to your core, taking notice of the way your panties now clung to you, "But you're not a good girl are you?"
"I-" You started, only to be interrupted by him
"That was a rhetorical question. You and I both know you are anything but a good girl." the back of his knuckles brushed up your thigh, making their way up as he spoke. "Slut, whore, brat,- those are all words that describe you, never good girl"
"You love it" you replied, hands gripping the arm of the hand around your neck, pressing your hips forward to his other hand that was resting so close to where you wanted it.
"Look how desperate you are y/n," he slid your panties to the side, teasing his fingers through your slick, "Show me how bad you want it," He stilled his hand, two fingers resting right against your entrance. With your upper body pinned to the back of the chair by his hand around your throat, you started rocking your hips, fucking yourself on his fingers the best you could.
A smug smile played on his lips as he watched you struggle. A frustrated whimper came out of you, his fingers only going in about halfway wasn't nearly enough and he knew it,
"Was that a sound of complaint?" He asked, pulling his fingers away,
"I need more" You whined,
"More? You need more?" He stood up, venom lacing his words, "You want more? I'll give you more."
You gasped as he hauled you up from your seat, a harsh grip on your arm as he manhandled you over to his amp, bending you over it. Your toes barely touched the ground, so your legs were basically dangling. He yanks your panties down your legs, then you're just laying there with your hands splayed on the top of the amp and you wait for his next move. You could hear his pants and belt fall to the ground.
"Greedy sluts like you always want all their pretty little holes filled," He ran his tip through your folds, "You don't deserve it, but I'm going to give it to you anyways." He pressed into you abruptly, punctuating his words,
You moaned out as he started thrusting. His pace was relentless, and you wondered how he kept his words so steady as he pounded into you
"I bet my cock in your cunt still isn't enough for you, is it?" He rasped, coaxing another moan from your lips as his slickened thumb began rubbing circles over your back entrance. He growled lowly when you arched your back as best you could with your feet not touching the ground, "Tell me what you are, and you can have it"
"A greedy slut" You said eagerly, not worried at all about how needy you sound, "I'm a greedy slut and I want it"
"Thats right" He pressed his thumb into you, this move gentle in comparison to his cock slamming into you. He was quickly reducing you into a mess, and you still wanted more.
"Sammy....." You groaned, sounding pathetic. When you felt his eyes on your face you opened your mouth and stuck out your tongue.
"Insatiable, spoiled, brat" He hissed as he shoved his fingers in your mouth. You sucked on them, eyes rolling back as he railed you into the amp. His hips started to falter, moans slipping from him every time you moaned around his fingers. "Goddamn you feel so good" He said under his breath, his first compliment, a sign that he was losing it. "Time to give me what I want, cum for me" a few more thrusts, drawing you closer with each one,
"Don't be selfish, give it to me y/n", he ordered,
so, so, close,
"I said cum!" he snarled, and that was enough. You came hard as he fucked you through it. He didn't slow his pace at all, chasing his high. "Gonna cum" he groaned,
"Inside, inside" You mumbled around his fingers he kept in your mouth.
Suddenly you were empty. He had removed himself from every part of you, and was stroking himself as he came on your ass. You had to admit he was a vision with his cock in his hand, but you had been denied what you asked for,
"Ugh, I-" you pouted
"Awh, did you want it inside?" He feigned empathy, you knew he had heard you. You stuck out your bottom lip, puppy dog eyes on display as you nodded.
"Why don't you show me some gratitude, then? See what that gets you hmm?" his voice had changed, he was just as fucked out as you at this point.
"Thank you," You said simply, trying to see him out of your peripherals.
"For what?" He pried, taking his fingers and collecting some of his cum from your skin.
"For fucking me" you conceded. As the words left your mouth his fingers slipped into you, putting his release where you really wanted it. He was obscene, you loved it.
"Again," He commanded, repeating his movements, fucking his cum into you each time you thanked him. This process repeated until he was content.
He grabbed your hips, helping you off the amp. The indentions from it covered the front of your thighs, your hip bones already starting to bruise. He inspected them, kneeling and pressing gentle kisses to them.
"Let's go shower" He mumbled as he stood, taking your hand and leading you down the hall. "Sorry for being a prick earlier,"
"It's ok" You said, following him on wobbly legs,
"I guess sometimes fucking you fixes my attitude too" He laughed nervously as he rubbed the back of his neck,
"I mean...you said it, not me" You smirked at him as he pulled you into the shower.
#sam kiszka#sam kiszka smut#gvf#greta van fleet#greta van smut#greta van fleet fic#greta van fleet smut#fan fiction#sam kiszka fic#sam kiszka fanfic
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Connection: Part 2
Sammy x Danny x (F) Reader
Word Count: 5.1k
Warnings: 18+, (F) masterbation, unprotected sex, choking, language, (M/M/F) threesome
Chapter Summary: Enemies to lovers, Sam used to be your best friend, now your sworn enemy. After a turn of events he is so much more than that. You discover that you’ve been missing out on a big part of your best friends life.
Part 1
The air was thick around you. Your body was still buzzing from your high. The smell of Sam, sweat, and sex filled your nose. The taste of Sam was still fresh on your taste buds. Your senses were everywhere and nowhere, just like your mind. Your eyes were still lulled half open from your high.
You looked from Danny to Sam. All three of you in a comfortable silence. All of your eyes bouncing from one to the other. You could feel two sets of eyes burning into your skin. You made no attempt to cover yourself. It was like you wanted Danny to see you. Your eyes were basically begging him over to join you and Sam. Danny’s eyes were fucking you from his unchanged place in your doorway.
“It’s my week to pick the movie. I was thinking of a thriller or something scary? How does that sound Y/n?” Danny said, still not taking his eyes from your naked body.
You found his behavior very odd considering you knew he would never let his choice of movie be a scary one. You were more than shocked with this nonchalant question given the state that he had just caught you in. You cleared your throat, “That sounds great, I’ll be right out to make the snacks.”
“I’m assuming that it’s snacks for three right?” Danny smirked at you and Sam both as he walked away.
In the time that Sam had been living with you and Danny he had never once attended movie night. Everything felt so odd, yet comfortable at the same time. You and Sam stayed inside of your comfortably silenced bubble for a few more moments. He pulled you into a deep kiss. His hand cupping your cheek so delicately that you almost forgot how brutally that he had just fucked you.You knew you would have purple bruises and marks to remind you later. You agreed to talk about things later and you both got up to clean yourselves up.
You sat down onto the couch beside Danny like normal. Your mind was still spinning from everything that had happened within the last few hours. You were snapped out of your daze when Sam took a spot beside you. He and Danny had the same smirk plastered across their faces. There you were sandwiched between your best friend and your enemy. Both who had just seen you in quite a vulnerable state.
When the movie started Danny put his arm around you, opening up his chest for you to snuggle into. There was nothing odd about this. You and Danny had always been the touchy feely types with each other. Something about this felt more intimate than normal. Sure you had had little crushes on Danny, how could you not.
You had a little feeling that Danny had shared these little crushes, sometimes it felt like more than a little crush. Lately it had been feeling like there was so much more to it. There were looks that you shared, lingering touches. There were times after a bit too much to drink or smoke that you would be more physical than usual, but there was still a line that had yet to be crossed. The thought of crossing it had crossed your mind before, but never like this.
You laid your body onto Danny’s chest, cozying right on in. You laid your legs across Sam’s lap. You felt so comfortable between the both of them. Every sense in your body craved them both. It was like this was how it had meant to be all along.
You could feel Sam’s fingertips rubbing the length of your legs softly. Danny wove his hand into your long curly hair, softly massaging your scalp. Your skin was burning from the touch of them both.
Your hand toyed with a loose string on Danny’s sweater. You took in his sweet vanilla scent. His body heat radiating onto your own skin. Your mind was clouded again. Your ears were focused on anything but the movie playing in front of you. You could hear the sound of his heartbeat fasting and slowing. You could hear his lungs fill with air, but every so often you could have sworn that he was holding his breath.
You turned your head to the side to see Danny’s other hand intertwined with Sam’s. Both of their fingers fiddling with the other. They were more focused on each other than the movie. You could tell that they were having a silent conversation through body language.
Your breath caught in your throat. It was your turn to hold your breath now. Had you been missing something all of this time? You had caught little looks between them, never anything physical. Nothing enough that you thought was worth mentioning. You always had just thought that it was some inside joke between the two of them. Had you been so caught up in your hate for Sam that you had missed something this big?
Now that you really thought about it, when Danny walked in earlier Sam didn’t try to cover himself either. Danny was eye fucking the both of you.
The room was electrified with sexual tension. You could feel all three of your bodies buzzing with want and lust.
When the movie ended you hadn’t brought up what you had seen conspire between them, but it was definitely something to learn more about later. “So Petal, you want to keep this party going?” Danny asked as soon as the movie credits began to roll.
Of course you did. You had no idea what had gotten into you. You wanted to take this party as far as you possibly could. “Well Daniel, what did you have in mind?”
“Hm ‘Daniel’, I don’t hear you call me that very often.”
“Why don’t we get a fire started and have a smoke,” Sam chimed in. As you began to sit up, you saw them untangle their hands from the corner of your eye. Just as you stood up your front door swung open. In walked Josh and Jake. Of course they would choose tonight to welcome themselves.
The three of you shared a wordless conversation. This would definitely make for an interesting turn in the night. After you greeted one another, Jake got the fire started while Sam and Josh made everyone’s drinks. You and Danny got into your cozy place by the fire. Once you all got settled in and a few drinks in your system, the rest of the night was spent goofing off.
Throughout the night you could feel Sam and Danny watching your every move. You still couldn’t get the image of Danny and Sam’s hands together out of your mind. As the night progressed you kept a watchful eye on their body language. You noticed a few things. Things that were too subtle for anyone else to ever pick up on. They had been flirting right in front of you all of this time. How could you have missed these things? How could Danny have never mentioned any of this to you? They shared long lasting looks, lingering touches. The same as you and Danny had shared.
You and Sam shared your own looks throughout the night. You were dying to get some answers from him. You saw your Sammy in his eyes with each look that you stole. The sweet and caring one that you used to know.
The water around you and Sam was finally calm. It no longer felt like you were drowning in anger and hate around him. Josh and Jake noticed almost immediately that you two were now amicable around the other. You had to admit that it was strange for you too. After all of this time hating each other.
You and Sam started talking about some nonsense when you heard a gasp. “What the hell is going on here?” Jake quipped.
“Yeah don’t you guys hate each other? Something is definitely different,” Josh chimed in.
They both shared a shocked look. You should’ve known how quickly they would pick up on this new and odd behavior between you and Sam.
“U-uh well, we talked a bit just before you guys got here and decided maybe it was time to call a truce,” You stuttered in response. You looked at Sam for some help navigating your response, but received nothing from him.
“HA- A truce, that’s hard to believe after the way you guys couldn’t even stand to be around each other for at least the last year or so,” Josh laughed out at you.
“Danny, what do you think of this so-called ‘truce’?” Jake said.
“I think that it would be nice for my two favorite people to finally get along,” Danny said, smirking at you and Sam.
Sam never said a word about your “truce”. He was terrified of saying the wrong thing.
Jake and Josh finally let it go and the night continued on. Danny was more physical with you than he had ever been. Which was saying a lot considering how physical you had always been. The alcohol in your system had finally helped your mind to slow down a bit. Of course you still had a million unanswered questions, but you would save those for tomorrow.
The twins eventually left for their own home. Which left you, Sam, and Danny alone by the fire. It had dwindled down at this point in the night. The embers barely were keeping you warm. Danny’s natural body heat and his hand swirling around your lower back lulling you into a daze. Sam scooted over to the spot beside you. Once again you were sandwiched between them both, not that you were complaining. You were simply taking mental notes on the entire situation between the three of you.
You were absolutely exhausted, barely holding your eyes open anymore. It had been an incredibly draining day, in the best ways. “Alright guys I’m going to turn in for the night.”
“Goodnight Petal,” Danny and Sam said in unison.
You blushed as you went inside. You hadn’t heard your nickname from Sam’s lips in so long that it sounded foreign. You stepped into the shower to wash the day off of you. The smell of smoke and sex rinsed off with the suds.
You longed to feel the warmth of your cozy bed. You took one more look outside of your bedroom window at the boys. Sam had scooted into your usual place in Danny’s strong arms. Danny had his head rested on top of Sam’s. He looked so peaceful, they both did. It made you happy to see them like this. You did still wonder where your place was in this.
You were hit with the smell of Sam still lingering in your sheets and around your room. Your sore muscles thanked you as you sank into your mattress. You never heard the boys come inside for the night. It took you a matter of seconds to fall into a deep sleep.
All of the sudden Danny’s hands were around your waist, yours were tangled into his dark curls. Your tongues were swirling around each other. He was pushing you back forcefully, until you hit another body. Sam was pushed against your back. His warm lips were kissing your neck's most sensitive spots. The moans they were both pulling from you got lost in Danny’s mouth.
You were in your favorite spot, directly between them. You could feel both of their hard cocks pushed against your front and back. Their hands were roaming all around you. They were exploring every inch of your body.
Danny pulled from your kiss staring deep into you, like he could see your soul. He reached around you grinning and pulled Sam into a kiss. You watched in awe as these events unfolded right before your eyes.
You moved to the bed, your core begging for some attention. Just as they were about to join you, you were jolted awake. ‘Fuck’ you thought to yourself. Of course it was all a dream. You were covered in a cold sweat and a very real dream induced ache between your thighs.
You rolled over to silence your alarm seeing that you had given yourself very little time to get ready for work. You pulled yourself from bed and got ready for the day. When you walked out into the kitchen you realized that you were home alone. They had already left for work which was no surprise considering how late you were. You were thankful in a way that they were gone already, you had a tendency to talk in your sleep. There was no telling what you had let slip in your slumber.
It was a surprisingly busy morning for you. So busy that you hadn’t realized that it was now lunch time. With how late you were you didn’t have time to pack anything. You were about to let Danny know that you couldn’t bring lunch today when your doorbell rang. You looked up to see Danny and Sam with your favorite lunch in hand.
You were happy to see them both, especially since you had skipped out on breakfast this morning. You felt your cheeks get hot as your mind was flooded with images of your dream. You had your lunch like normal, it was nice to share it with them both. You all kept sharing a knowing look. It was like the three of you had fallen right back into your old patterns. It was comforting, but there was a new feeling in the air.
You had yet to talk to either of them about anything that had happened over the last 24 hours. You knew you weren’t confused about your emotions. Your mind was very clear about one thing, you had feelings for them both. Even though you were sure of your feelings there was still a lot to process. You didn’t know how they felt. How could you be with them both? Would you have to choose? How would you be able to choose? How were you even going to go about this conversation?
There your mind goes again swirling with questions of the unknown. You knew you needed to talk to Sam first, just to see where the two of you stood. It was clear the hatred that you two had once shared had dissolved, almost like it never existed. After lunch they went back to their shop and finished out their day.
You were the first one home that night. You were thankful for this. It gave you at least an hour to prepare yourself. You also knew Sam would be home well before Danny. This would give you some time to talk to him alone first.
The hour flew by much faster than you had anticipated. You waited for Sam on the couch. You had practiced over and over exactly what you were going to say and ask. As soon as you heard the door open you forgot every word. You were suddenly nervous, your palms were coated in a thin layer of sweat.
Sam beat you to the punch. As soon as he saw you sitting there he asked if you could talk. It was great that he wanted to, but what if he wanted to talk for different reasons? You knew you wanted him, but you also wanted Danny. You had no idea what was about to come from him, no idea what he really wanted.
He noticed how panicked you were and took a seat directly beside you on the couch. You both turned your bodies facing each other. “Sammy, I-” you started but were cut off swiftly.
“Y/n, can I please say something first?” Sam said to you.
You nodded nervously. He took your hand in his and gave you the softest look. “Look Y/n, I’m sorry,” he started.
“Sorry? For what?” you interrupted.
“For everything, I’m so sorry for everything. I’ve been horrible to you for the past year. I know that I had no right to be jealous, but I couldn’t help it. I know that I should’ve just talked to you about it and how I felt.”
“Jealous? What on earth were you jealous of?” you said with a confused tone.
Sam scoffed at you, “Seriously Y/n, no need to be shy now, especially not after yesterday.”
“I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about Sam, come on,” you said more seriously now.
“Oh, well I of course mean you and Danny. I mean it was painfully obvious, it still is. I just thought that you and I might’ve had something and then you go and move in with him. You are both constantly all over each other, you share looks and touches. You clearly have something going on. I just wish that I would’ve told you how I felt before and not wasted this whole year being so awful to you,” Sam said genuinely to you.
“Sammy, nothing has ever happened between Danny and I. I would’ve thought he would have told you that. I also thought that you and I had something, but I think you’re jealous of Danny too,” you said with a smirk.
Sam’s face turned a deep red, “H-He told you?”
You scooted closer to him now, “No, he’s never said anything about whatever you two have. I am simply perceptive. But I do wonder where we stand now, not just you and I, but the three of us really?”
Sam proceeded to apologize a few more times to you. “I forgive you Sam, and I’m sorry too. I haven’t talked to Danny and I don’t know if you two have really talked, but I care for the both of you,” you said shyly.
“Well that much I could tell, and Danny too. Especially after yesterday, it seemed like you wanted him to join us. And then after the movie if Josh and Jake hadn’t shown up I wonder what we could have gotten into?” it was his turn to smirk at you now.
“Before anything happened I wanted us to talk. You and I first since we had some tension around us and what happened came out of nowhere. I don’t think I was alone in wanting him to join us. And I wouldn’t want to come between you and Danny of course and-”
Sam cut you off again. You had spent most of this conversation interrupting each other. This time he interrupted you by pulling you into a kiss. He swiftly pulled you onto his lap. His tongue swept over your lips looking for an invitation.
Just as things began to heat up the front door swung open and in walked Danny. His eyes immediately fell to you and Sam on the couch. “Having fun without me again I see,” Danny chuckled out.
This time you picked up on the jealousy in his tone. He never took his eyes off of you both. Instead you noticed him inching closer. “Who says that it has to be without you Danny?” you said looking up at him with your best doe eyes.
He gave you both a puzzled look. Sam patted the spot beside you, silently asking him to join. Danny nervously took the seat beside you. You were still in Sam’s lap, you made no effort to move. You both turned to face Danny now. You watched as Sam slowly took one hand from your thigh and placed it on Danny’s. Danny flinched at the sudden contact, still with a confused look on his face.
You still didn’t know where the three of you stood, but you knew what you wanted. “She knows about us Danny, no need to be shy or keep it a secret anymore,” Sam said rubbing on his thigh. Danny seemed to calm down at this.
“Wait - before anything happens I think that we should talk about whatever this is,” you felt more confident now.
“Petal, we talked a bit earlier and we both care for you. We both want you, you don’t have to choose,” Danny said like he was reading your mind. He knew exactly what you wanted.
“We just want you to feel comfortable, we wouldn’t want to overwhelm you. We will respect whatever you want,” Sam spoke up now.
You didn’t say anything at first. All of the confusion and nerves were swept away, just gone. You were all finally on the same page. Everything was so clear now. You had the same wants and desires.
Still on Sam’s lap you began to mimic his movements of rubbing circles on Danny’s thigh. You could now hear the sound of the rain beginning to pour outside. Thunder was pounding and lightning was striking. The sun was setting, casting dark shadows through your house.
They were looking at you in an intense manner. There was a comfortable silence in the room. Your heart was pounding out of your chest from excitement.
“So Petal, are you going to let us take good care of you?” Danny broke the silence.
You only nodded your head.
“No baby, we need to hear you say it,” Sam said lustfully.
You took a deep breath to steady yourself, “Yes, please, I need you both.”
A quick look of agreement was shared between the three of you. Excitement was coursing through you like never before.
Suddenly Sam’s lips were on yours again. His hands were running over your body. You ran your fingers through his long hair pulling it gently. He pushed your hips down onto his. You began grinding down onto his hips.
You silently thanked yourself for your choice of outfit. You were wearing nothing but your favorite little yellow sundress and panties. You could feel his hard cock right on your center.
You pulled away for a moment to catch your breath. Danny was eagerly watching the events unfold right in front of him. He let out a strained groan.
“Petal, I think we made poor Daniel feel neglected,” Sam said.
“Oh Sammy, we wouldn’t want that. Does our sweet boy need some attention?” You cooed.
Sam and Danny were sitting knee to knee now. You peeled yourself from Sam’s lap and lowered yourself onto Danny’s lap. All of your feelings for Danny came rushing in at once. You were seeing him in a new light now. You giggled, “Hi Danny”
“Hi Petal,” Danny blushed.
You wanted to take it all in with Danny. You didn’t want to miss a moment of this. You wrapped your arms around his neck and ran your hands up and down his back. You ran your hands slowly around his nicely toned arms. You looked into his gleaming eyes. You could see your sweet Danny in them, but you saw something else. This was something new you were now seeing in them - you saw dark desire.
You slowly dipped down to meet his lips. When his lips connected with yours you felt dizzy. His lips were soft and plump against yours. You opened your mouth to allow him to dip his tongue inside. His warm tongue began swirling against yours. You were exploring each other’s mouths, tasting each other.
After a few moments you detached from his lips. “It seems like my boys have been holding out on me,” You said in your best pouty voice.
“I think that our girl wants us to put on a little show for her Sammy,” Danny said, turning to Sam.
“Do you think that she deserves it Danny?”
You decided to put on a show for them in return. You stood up from your spot on Danny’s lap and started to seductively trace your shoulders with your fingers. You hooked your fingers under the straps of your dress and dragged them down as slowly as possible. Your dress slid down your body and silently hit the floor, leaving you in nothing but your soaked black panties.
The boys’ breath hitched in their throats. They were gawking at you wide eyed and admiring every inch of your almost naked body. You were standing on full display in front of them.
You sat back down, this time onto Sam’s thigh. You began slowly grinding on it, desperate for some pressure. “I think that it’s time for my show now.”
Danny made the first move. He reached over and caressed Sam’s cheek, pulling his focus from you. He then pulled him into a deep sensual kiss. You admired how gentle he was being with Sam. How gentle they were both being with each other. The care and admiration that they put into each calculated move.
While they put on their show for you, you decided to have a little fun. You knew they were both aching for some relief. You reached down and slowly pulled Sam’s aching cock from his pants. This made him whine into Danny’s kiss. Danny chuckled at his reaction. You reached over into Danny’s lap and pulled out his throbbing cock. Which in turn pulled a breathy whine from him, just as it had Sam. Now it was Sam’s turn to laugh at his reaction.
Danny pulled from Sam’s lips just long enough to pull you to his own thigh. “That’s it baby, keep riding us, get yourself off,” Danny said out of breath.
You took their members in each hand and slowly jerked them off. You set an agonizing pace, paying special attention to their little whimpers and whines. They didn’t think that you were catching on, but you paid extra mind to every little twitch that they tried to conceal from you.
You were at a bit of a disadvantage. They knew each other’s bodies, you were in the dark. Of course that meant that they were also in the dark when it came to your body. You were determined to learn quickly.
You wanted to see just how long they could keep up this dominating side before they gave in to you.
They continued to pass you back and forth between their thighs a few more times. They were purposely hardly paying you any attention. They had the same idea that you did, but you were determined not to break. You had to admit to yourself that you were getting closer with each passing minute. The small beads of precum that covered both of their heads gave them away as well.
You watched carefully as their mouths consumed each other. They each had a hand on your thigh to hold you steady. Their other hands sneaking through their long locks of hair, pulling and tugging at each other eagerly.
You could very clearly tell how much they both enjoyed having you as an audience. You caught small glances out of the corner of their eyes every so often. Once you noticed their kisses beginning to become sloppy you quickened your pace. You started to let your own whimpers flow.
You almost let yourself go when you watched as Sam pulled away from Danny by wrapping his hand around his throat forcefully. Danny whined in protest, but his whine was turned quickly into a groan when Sam tipped his jaw up and attached his lips to the sensitive skin of his neck.
Danny purposely locked eyes with you, flashing you a daring grin. His eyes rolled back slightly when Sam began to lick and suck his way around the supple skin.
“I think that we should move this into the bedroom,” you finally stuttered out. You couldn’t take it anymore. You needed them, to feel them, see them, all of it.
“I think that we could do that, what do you think Danny? Has she earned it yet?” Sam said, still attached to Danny’s skin.
“I think as soon as she cums for us she will have earned it,” Danny growled to Sam.
You were going to protest, but you did need release, and there was no telling what they would have in store for you later. You released their cocks and rode Danny’s thigh until your vision darkened and your body was buzzing with ecstasy. You moaned their names and gripped their arms as they held you steady.
You were brought back to reality when you felt Danny scoop you up and carry you to the bedroom, Sam was following quickly at his heels. He plopped you gently onto his soft bed. You were hit with the familiar scent of him and Sam on the sheets.
They were looming over you, suddenly you felt so small. “Why don’t you undress each other, I would hate to be the only one naked around here,” you said looking up at their tall, clothed figures.
“We really should fix that Sammy, our girl wants to see us,” Danny said as he began to unbutton Sam’s shirt. Your heart fluttered at ‘our girl’.
You watched in awe as they very slowly put on a strip tease for you. They were eating up having an audience to perform for.
You scooted to the middle of the bed and watched the show in front of you. Your eyes were frantically moving between their bodies, not wanting to miss even the smallest of details. You noticed that they both had a damp spot on their thighs from where you had sat earlier. This made your stomach turn in a delightful way.
They were now both fully naked. You were laid out on the bed, on full display for them. They each slowly approached the bed from both sides, Sam on your left and Danny on your right. They took their places, laying down on either side of you.
Here you were, in your favorite place, sandwiched directly between their tan, naked bodies. This time though, things were more intimate between the three of you. Everything was about to change. The air was once again thick around you. Your whole body was buzzing with excitement and lust.
Sam was the first to make a move this time. He snaked his hand up to your jaw making you look up at him, “Can we touch you now baby, make you feel good?”
You blushed at the pet name falling from his lips, “Yes, please do.”
To be continued…
#greta van fleet#danny wagner#greta van fleet smut#greta van smut#danny wagner smut#sam kiszka smut#sam kiszka fanfic#sam kiszka fic#danny greta van fleet#greta van fleet fanfiction#sam kiszka fanfiction#sam kiskza#samuel kiszka#danny wagner gvf#danny gvf#jake kiszka#jake kiszka fanfiction#jake kiszka gvf#jake kiszka smut#jake kiszka x reader#josh kiszka gvf#josh kiszka#greta van fleet fan fiction#gretavanfleet#greta van fic#sammy kiszka#danny wagner x reader#dannywagner#sam kiszka imagine#sam kiszka gvf
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35 High // S.F.K
AgeOfBarbarians
Summary: Y/N comes home from a long day of work. The whole day was genuinely a series of unfortunate events, but the worst of the worst happens when she gets home.
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI! Anxiety Attack, Oral (m&f receiving), Fingering (f receiving)
Word Count: 5.6K
M A S T E R L I S T
You pushed your way through the sea of people, all trying to leave their day jobs, but you were also trying to do the same. You were trying to get home as quickly as you could since today has been absolute hell and you were just one small inconvenience away from having a complete and utter breakdown.
You worked at a small hole-in-the-wall diner a couple of blocks away from your apartment. The money was decent, enough to pay bills and have a little extra saved to the side in case you needed it. There were typically older people who came in to enjoy breakfast or an early lunch. You had a lot of regulars and when they came in they just seemed to make the days more enjoyable. But today was the definition of hell.
You had a couple of tables that gave you a one-dollar tip, or that had completely stiffed you. One snotty group of teenagers came in and while you were delivering food to another table, decided it would be hilarious to trip you. They did end up getting kicked out but you still had food and coffee spilled all over your work clothes. A couple of tables had bitched at you for things that weren’t your fault but just couldn’t grasp the fact that it was on the kitchen and not you. This morning while you were doing your hair you burnt one of your fingers really bad, you were completely out of coffee, and your milk had gone bad so you couldn’t even eat breakfast. It was one of the worst days you had in a while.
You were walking home, trying to calm yourself down, trying as hard as you could to enjoy the last little portion of your day. You had a whole plan set out to watch a couple of movies and order some Chinese food since you were in no mood to cook tonight. As you were walking down the street a lady who was paying more attention to her phone than her surroundings hit your shoulder causing you to drop your phone and the drink you just bought.
“Watch where you’re going, bitch!” She turned to you and flipped you off like it was your fault that she wasn’t paying attention.
“Get your face out of your phone and pay attention cunt!” You yelled back at her. She gasped and stormed off, not wanting to deal with the confrontation. The people who were around you looked at you like you had a third arm or horns coming out of your head. You huffed, picked your phone up, and walked away. There was no saving your drink.
You finally reached the doors to your apartment building. It was one of the largest apartment buildings in the city, it being at least sixty-five stories high. You lived on the forty-sixth floor so you have an amazing view of the entire city. As crazy as it seemed, you always took the stairs. Forty-six flights of stairs seemed crazy to most people, but you just considered it your daily dose of cardio. Not to mention the crippling fear you had of elevators. It was extremely rare that you took the elevator, and today was one of those rare days. You didn’t want to take the time to walk up the stairs when you could be up to your floor in seconds.
Surprisingly the lobby was pretty empty this evening. You walked up to the elevator and hit the upward arrow and waited for the doors to open. You took in a deep breath through your nose and exhaled through your mouth. Seconds later the elevator doors opened. You stepped in and hit the button next to the forty-six. The button lit up and you leaned against the back wall waiting for the doors to clothes. They began to shut and it was only a split second away from shutting completely before they opened again.
A boy who looked to be about your age stepped in and he seemed like he was out of breath. He pushed the button for the forty-fifth floor and it lit up. He gave you a small smile and leaned against the wall right next to you.
Really dude? Out of all places it had to be right next to me? You thought to yourself. You let out a huff and pulled out your phone trying to pull up your Instagram. Of course, you weren’t getting any single so nothing was loading. But with how the rest of the day had gone, you weren’t surprised.
You stood there in silence, your eyes locked onto the elevator door just waiting for them to open. The boy next to you hummed to himself and you couldn’t tell why but it was driving you a little nuts.
“I’m sorry, but do you mind?” You snapped, turned your head towards him and he looked at you with a raised brow.
“Sorry?” He looked confused and after observing his features you felt bad. Really bad. His eyes were a beautiful shade of brown, long brown hair that was pulled back into a messy bun, a jawline that could cut diamonds, and lips that were oh so perfectly pink they were almost kissable. He was in a black suit that was tailored to fit him perfectly, but he didn’t have a shirt underneath the suit jacket. Some of the skin on his stomach was exposed revealing the way it slightly glistened, but you didn’t stare too long. Everything about this man was stunning.
“Sorry I just,” you paused and rubbed the bridge of your nose with your thumb and pointer finger. “I’ve had the worst day and the humming is kind of annoying if I’m being honest. I didn’t mean to snap, that was rude of me.” You said the last part quietly and looked down at your feet, avoiding his gaze.
“It’s alright, doll. I guess it can be quite-“ he stopped talking as there was a loud thud and the elevator suddenly stopped. It shook for a second and you instinctively grabbed the boy's arm next to you. You realized what you had done and removed your hands from him. You mumbled a sorry before that there was a potential that your biggest fear had just hit.
“Are we stuck?” Your eyes went wide at the realization that you were no longer moving, and the red numbers indicating the floor number were stuck on thirty-five.
“I think so, it shouldn’t be a problem though,” he shrugged casually and you immediately sank to the floor with your head going between your knees.
“This is my worst fucking nightmare.” You whispered to yourself. Suddenly, it felt like there was hardly any air left in the small space and your chest became tight. You took in a deep breath through your nose and out through your mouth to try and calm yourself down but it wasn’t working. You could feel your body begin to shake and tears brimmed your eyes.
“Hey, are you alright?” The boy next to you crouched down and gently sat his hand on your shoulder. You looked over at him and there seemed to be genuine concern on his face. A few tears slid down your face and you continued to shake as you wiped them away quickly.
“T-this is one of my worst fears. I’ve had a day from hell and this is just the cherry on top. I don’t even know what to do.” You began to panic more and your breathing started to pick up. You were on the verge of hyperventilating.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Look,” He stood up and pushed the emergency call button that all elevators were required to have. It rang a couple of times before a voice picked up.
“Hello?”
“Hi, yeah, we’re currently in Clemming Heights, our elevator is stuck, we aren’t sure what happened.”
“How many people are in your elevator?” The voice came through the speaker.
“There’s two of us.” He replied and looked back at you. Your hands were shaking violently and more tears slid down your face. You tried every trick in the book to calm your nerves but everything you did just seemed to make things worse.
This was the worst day you’ve ever had by far. Maybe you should’ve just taken the stairs. If you did you wouldn’t be trapped in this metal box that could just plummet to the very bottom at any moment.
“Okay, we’re sending a technician over now. It should be about an hour before it’s fixed.”
“Thank you.” That was all he said and then he came back and sat next to you.
“An hour!? I-I don’t think I can be in here for an hour.” You started to hyperventilate and you tried your hardest to calm down but everything you knew just wasn’t working. You didn’t want to be having an anxiety attack in front of a total stranger, a handsome one at that. The whole thing was embarrassing. Today genuinely could not get any worse.
“It’s okay, I promise we’ll be okay. Hey, look at me.” He sat his hand on your shoulder again before he scooted in front of you, legs crossed. You looked up at him and he has a small smile on his face trying his best to cheer you up.
“What’s your name, doll?” He asked softly.
“Y/N,” You wiped your face with the back of your hand. Your breathing was still unsteady and your chest was still tight, feeling like it could just explode at any given moment,
“It’s nice to meet you, Y/N. I’m Sam, or Sammy, whichever you prefer. I live on the forty-fifth floor. Do you wanna talk about your day? Get your mind off this?” Sam introduced himself and it was nice that you could finally put a name to a face. You were hesitant but something was comforting about him, so you went on about how terrible your day was and he just sat there and listened, nodding his head now and again. You went through your entire day, from the time you woke up, up until now. He never once interrupted you, he just sat there and listened. It was nice.
“That sounds like a lot. Just think about it this way, today is almost over. Once we get out of here, you can go home, make some tea, binge on some snacks, watch a movie, or whatever it is you want to do and you can just relax. Tomorrow is a new day, and you can start fresh, yeah?” Sam spoke softly and his words were reassuring. You were silent for a moment, staring into his chestnut eyes. You scanned his face, but you didn’t know what it was you were searching for.
“Yeah, you’re right.” You smiled lightly, looking at the floor of the elevator. You had noticed that you were finally calmed down despite ranting about the shitshow of a day you'd had. Maybe all you needed was somebody to talk to about what had gone wrong. Ranting about everything today had cleared your mind and it made you calm down about being stuck. Even though it wasn’t the most ideal situation, you were glad that somebody was here with you instead of being alone.
“I’m on forty-six.” You spoke up again after a moment of silence. Sam looked at you slightly confused before remembering he had told you what floor he lived on.
“I’ve never seen you around before.” You could feel his eyes burning into you. You shifted and averted eye contact with him. He wasn’t intimidating but he was just so attractive that it felt like he was intimidating.
“Well, it is a big building…” You responded with a bit of sarcasm in your voice. You looked up again and Sam's smiled with a light laugh and nodded his head, looking at the ground.
“I guess you’re right. I just figured I’d remember seeing a pretty girl like you.” He looked up at you again and you felt your cheeks go hot. The compliment was so unexpected and it honestly caught you off guard. You had been in here for only fifteen minutes and he was trying to flirt with you. Not that you had minded, you did need a little excitement in your life, but Sam was definitely out of your league.
“I don’t know about that, I never take the elevator. I usually take the stairs,” you shook your head and you could feel your cheeks heat up at his compliment.
“Seriously?” He asked with wide eyes and his eyebrows raised, slightly dumbfounded. You shook your head. All you could do was nod, not too sure of what to say.
“I bet your legs are killer.” He laughed to himself and then stopped once he realized what he said. Sam wasn’t trying to make the situation sexual in any sort but the comment just kind of slipped out. He wasn’t wrong though, because of doing it almost daily you did have really nice legs. They were toned and had just the perfect amount of muscle to them.
“Sorry, that came out a little more sexual than I was expecting it to.” Sam awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck and you couldn’t help but laugh. You observed exposed skin and wondered why he was so dressed up but also why he didn't have a shirt under his suit jacket. Even sitting down you could tell how toned he was and honestly, it was quite sexy. You bit your lip and your eyes met his. You tried to play it off but he had a smirk on his face. The comment about your legs was still playing in your head and you didn’t really know why. Maybe it was because you were getting hit on by an attractive guy? Or the fact that you never really got hit on in general? You looked away for a moment trying to avert your eyes elsewhere.
“Enjoying the view?” He asked with a slight raise of his brow. Your eyes met his again and you could feel a bit of heat creeping onto your cheeks from the fact that he caught you staring.
“Don’t get cocky, Sammy.” You shook your head and scanned him once more. A part of you was just trying to fuck with him but another part of you genuinely wanted to just check him out. You began to wonder what he looked like without the suit jacket on, how his muscles and abdomen flexed, and what he looked like without almost anything on.
Your thoughts started getting the best of you and you shook your head slightly as a way to try and rid of them. You pressed your legs together, heat building at your core, trying your hardest not to make it noticeable.
“Cocky is my middle name, babydoll,” Sam said quietly with a tone that you couldn’t quite read. It was sexy and dominant but you really couldn’t tell what he was going for. The pet name that he had called you a couple of times already sent shivers down your spine and you bit your lip once more with a smile across your face. Even though he had called you 'doll' previously, there was just something about the subtle difference.
The two of you gazed into each other eyes, not sure what to even say. Your eyes flickered back and forth between him and his lips. He was doing the same and you could just tell the sexual tension was rising between the two of you.
In a split-second decision, you decided to just lean forward and kiss him. It wasn’t like you to make the first move, hell you had never even made the first move, but there was just something about Sam that was so captivating and you were determined to figure it out why he was making you feel this way.
Moments later it finally dawned on you that you were kissing a total stranger and you didn’t have a drop of alcohol in you. You had your fair share of hookups but they never happened if you weren’t drinking. You never had the confidence to initiate something like that. You pulled away and your hand came up to touch your lips. Sam had a look of surprise on his face but you couldn’t exactly read it. The silence grew heavy and you suddenly felt embarrassed.
“Oh my god, I’m sorry that was really-“ You couldn’t even finish your sentence before Sam's lips connected with yours again. One of his hands cupped the side of your face while to other rested right above your knee and your arms wrapped around his neck. You felt his tongue graze your bottom lip, in a way that was requesting permission for him to enter and you opened your mouth a little bit wider to allow access. His tongue fought with yours and he bit down on your bottom lip. Your hands pulled on the hair at the nape of his neck as Sam groaned and you could feel it through the kiss. The noise alone sent fire to your center and you scooted closer to him. You didn’t want to cross any boundaries, especially because you had only met him not even twenty minutes ago, but he removed his hands from your face and pulled you onto his lap.
“Is this crazy? This is crazy.” You pulled away, not realizing how deprived of oxygen you were until you took a deep breath. You stared into Sam's eyes and a wide grin flashed across his face.
“I like crazy,” Was all he said before kissing you again. You moaned quietly, hoping he didn’t hear it but from the way he sighed and started kissing along your jawline and neck, you knew he did. You leaned your head back, exposing more of the skin on your neck, allowing him access to wherever he pleased. He bit at the skin behind your ear and smoothed over it with his tongue. You pulled harder on the hair at the nape of his neck. He had found your sweet spot and the longer he stayed there, the more you were melting into his touch. You knew there was going to be a lilac mark.
Sam moved down your neck, eventually reaching your collarbones. He left a few chaste kisses across them but then licked a stripe up the front of your throat and connected his lips with yours. That simple action was almost enough to make you come undone. You adjusted your hips and as you did so you could feel Sam's hardened length under you. He hissed at the movement and you couldn’t help but smirk. You rocked your hips once more and he pushed up into you before grabbing your hips to hold you still.
“I want to take you home, Y/N,” Sam said between the kisses. The thought made butterflies run through your stomach.
“Lemme turn your day around. Let me make you feel good,” He attacked the other side of your neck, and his words made you moan. You tried to move against him, hoping to relieve some of the pressure that was building up in your core but Sam was quick to stop you.
“Words baby, use them.” He commanded.
“Please,” was all you managed to get out. He smirked and it just showed how cocky he really was.
“Please what?“ He stared at you intently, waiting for you to say exactly what he wanted to hear.
“Fuck, please take me home Sammy, just do something,” you moaned, and honestly, it was almost pathetic.
“Gladly,” Sam grabbed the underside of your thighs and stood up as he pushed your back against the elevator wall. Your legs wrapped around his waist and he began to kiss you again, this time with a little more force. With one hand he grabbed your wrists and pinned them above you, not allowing you to touch him.
You loved when somebody was dominant towards you. You liked being told what to do, being thrown around, and even being punished. You were into the rougher sex but it never seemed like anybody could seem to satisfy you with what you were looking for. Sure it was good enough in the moment, but you just needed… more.
Your legs tightened around Sam's waist and you tried anything just to feel some sort of friction against him to release some of the pressure. You pushed your chest up against him and moaned quietly into his mouth.
“If you don’t stop I may just have to fuck you in here,” Sam's voice was dominant and demanding. You flashed him a devilish grin before you rocked your hips up against him again.
“What if I want you to fuck me in here, Sam?” You asked with one of your brows raised. Your words alone looked like they could’ve sent him over the edge. Sam swiftly popped the button on your jeans and slid his hands into your pants, rubbing his fingers over the dampened cotton.
“Look at you, so wet for me already,” His forehead leaned against yours and a breathy moan slid past your lips. His fingers circled over your clothed clit and he smirked as he watched your face slightly contort with pleasure.
“Please,” was all you could say but you didn’t even know what you were begging for. Fuck, there were lots of things you could’ve been begging for right now.
“Please what? What do you want, pretty girl? Do you want my fingers? My cock?” His movements slowed down and you shifted, trying to feel his touch. You didn’t want to admit it but you were already nearing your release just from him rubbing his fingers along your clit. You didn’t respond and Sam removed all contact from your core, just waiting for you to answer him.
“Shit, I want your fingers, please,” You whined pathetically. Sam smiled at you before dipping his hands back into your jeans. He moved your cotton panties to the side and his thumb brushed over your clit. Your back arched slightly and you took your bottom lip in between your teeth. You could feel Sam's fingers run through your folds, collecting your arousal on the tips. He removed his hand once more and wrapped his mouth around his fingers, tasting every little bit of you. He closed his eyes and moaned, swirling his tongue around his digits.
“You taste like honey, babydoll” he groaned and went to stick his hands past the material of your jeans and he huffed.
“These, they need to come off.” He put you back down onto your feet before he sunk onto his knees. He curled his fingers around the belt loops and swiftly pulled your jeans down, helping you step out of them. You were left in your t-shirt and dark green cotton underwear. They were pretty cheeky, but they had just the perfect amount of coverage and the straps were thin on your sides.
Sammy observed you for a moment before planting a kiss on your clothed core. His fingers hooked around the thin straps and pulled them down, throwing them with your jeans. His hand slotted between your legs, causing you to spread them before he dipped his head forward and licked a thick, bold stripe up your center. Your mouth formed into an ‘o’ and your knees felt weak. One of your hands flew to his hair and tugged on his wavy brown tresses.
“Fuck, Sammy I want your fingers, please,” you moaned out. Even though his mouth did feel amazing, you so badly needed some sort of release.
“Only because you asked so nicely,” Sam grinned up at you before he entered two fingers into you, curling them upwards. Your knees buckled and you sat your free hand on his shoulder, trying your hardest not to fall. Sam watched your face twist with pleasure for a moment before he attached his mouth to your clit.
“Shit,” you gasped and tugged on his roots again. From the way, his fingers curved in and out of you to the way his tongue flicked and sucked on your clit you knew you weren’t going to last much longer. Moans left your lips and you tried not to be too loud even though it didn’t really matter since you were still stuck.
“Do you like that, baby? The way my fingers fuck you?” Sam applied a kiss to your abdomen and you whimpered at his words. You nodded your head but that wasn’t enough for him.
“Words. Use them.” His fingers stilled inside of you and raised a brow waiting for you to say something.
“Fuck, yes Sam, please don’t stop, I’m so close.” You moaned and he picked up his pace again. Sam attacked your clit with his mouth again, sucking on the swollen bundle of nerves trying to get you closer to your climax. Your eyes screwed shut and a loud moan flew past your lips. You could feel yourself clenching around his fingers and that familiar feeling of a rubberband on the verge of snapping in the pit of your stomach.
“Fuck, Sammy, I’m cumming,” you moaned and looked down at the explicit scene below you. Sam shook his head and you gave him a slightly confused look.
“Not yet baby, hold out just a little longer for me,” He kissed the front of your thighs and used his free hand to rub quick circles along your clit.
“I-I don’t know if I can,” you moaned and you could feel your legs begin to violently shake. You were on the brink of exploding but the longer you held back, the worse the feeling felt. That pit in your stomach was burning and you just needed a release
“You can and you will. Hang on for me,” Sam added a third finger and your vision was going in and out as more obscenities flew past your lips.
“Sam please, please let me cum. Oh my god, I’ll do anything. Please, I’m begging,” You gasped and you could feel your legs wanting to close but Sam held them open with his elbows, his movements quickening.
“That’s what I wanted to hear. Cum for me baby. Look at me or I’ll stop,” he threatened. You looked down at him as you struggled to keep your eyes open. You focused on the boy below you who was destroying you with his fingers. You sunk slightly as your orgasm tore through you. You moaned loudly and bit the back of your hand to try and suppress it. Your eyes screwed shut from the feeling being too overwhelming. Tears brimmed your eyes and you swore you could’ve passed out from the amount of euphoria you were experiencing.
Sam groaned as he rode you through your orgasm. He slowed his pace before his mouth connected with your heat, lapping up every last drop of you. Your legs shook and every time his tongue passed over your clit you couldn’t help but whine from the overstimulation.
“God you are fucking beautiful,” Sam stood up and roughly connected his lips with yours. You could taste yourself on his tongue and you didn’t even mind, it just made it so much more arousing. Sam placed one hand at the back of your neck while his other hand tangled in your hair and pulled at the roots. Your head tilted back and your mouth opened but no words came out.
“I’ll make you cum again if you let me, just say the word, babydoll.” He whispered into your ear before nipping at your earlobe with his teeth.
“Yes, please,” you whispered. His words sent shivers down your spine and the thought of him making you cum again sent a new wave of heat to your core. He pressed another kiss to your lips, this one a lot gentler than the last.
“Are you okay?” He asked quietly.
"Much better," You nodded your head and applied one last chaste kiss to his lips.
As soon as he pulled away the elevator shook and you noticed the numbers starting to go up again. You cursed under your breath and quickly grabbed your jeans, unsure of where your underwear went. You looked around the small space and you were absolutely dumbfounded.
“Looking for these?” San asked, holding them up. Before you could grab them he shoved them into his pocket and you didn’t even know what to say. You quickly slid your legs through the tight jeans and buttoned them. Seconds later the elevator door opened on the forty-fifth floor. There was a mother and her two small children waiting to enter the elevator. She looked at you and Sam with a disgusted look on her face. Sam grabbed your hand and lead you out towards his apartment. You were still slightly out of breath which means your face was probably red and Sam's hair was unruly from you pulling on his locks, but he didn’t even seem to mind.
“Are you hungry?” Sam asked as you followed him down the hall before stopping in front of one of the many doors. He pulled out a key and unlocked the door, allowing you to enter first. You stood directly next to the door, not wanting to overstep any boundaries of some sort.
“I was going to order some Chinese when I got home.” You said, on the quieter side. It was so strange that he had just gone from fingering you and eating you out to acting like nothing even happened and asking if you were hungry.
“Chinese it is.” Sam closed the door and lead you into the living room while he started to call a local Chinese restaurant. Before he could start the call you stopped him.
“I can pay for it,” you offered and he shook his head.
“Let it be my treat, you had a shit day. I told you I wanted to make it better.” He smiled and put the phone up to his ear. His words replayed in your head and you clenched your thighs together at the thought of potentially hooking up with him later.
“Needy are we?” He spoke from behind you and you turned around to see him almost hovering over you. You didn’t even know what to say. You cross your legs and gulp.
“Patience is a virtue, darling.” He smirked and came and sat next to you before turning on the television.
“What if I don’t want to wait that long?” You raised a brow, trying to challenge him.
“Good girls get rewarded.” That was all he said before he stood up once more and made his way over to the kitchen.
“And if they aren’t good?” You question him. All he did was shrug. You didn’t know how to feel about this little game he was playing but it was driving you mad, sexually. You sighed and looked over the back of the couch. He poured some whisky into a glass and held the bottle up to offer you some after he realized you were looking at him. You nodded slightly and he poured you a glass, bringing them over. He sat down on the couch and handed you your glass and sat his hand on your thigh.
Sam's eyes were fixed on the tv while he took small sips from his drink and all you could do was stare at his side profile. You quickly chugged your drink, the bitter taste coating your lips and mouth. You could feel the heat fill your chest and you sat the glass down on the table. Sam looked at you with a confused look before you swung your legs over his lap and wrapped your arms around his neck.
“I want you. Now.” You commanded. Sam met your lips as he kissed you hungrily. He leaned forward and slid off his suit jacket, leaving his chest exposed. You placed your hands on his stomach, your fingers toying with the waistband of his suit pants. You breathed heavily through your nose, a quiet whimper escaping as Sam bit your bottom lip.
Sam flipped you over so your back was against the couch and he hovered over top of you, one of his knees slotted between your legs. He pinned your arms above you like he had done previously in the elevator and he bunched up your shirt in his free hand. He trailed kisses from your lips, down your neck, over the swell of your breasts, and across your stomach. He stopped at the waistband of your jeans and unbuttoned them again. He slowly unzipped the zipper, trying to toy with you in any way he could. He slipped his hand passed your jeans, his fingers just barely hovering over your center that was once again dripping with arousal. He put pressure down on your clit before he released from the kiss, looking at your pleasured expression.
“As I said, good girls get rewarded.” He drug his fingers through your arousal and brought his slick fingers to his lips. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and he removed his knee from in between your legs. You layed there, defeated and out of breath with your core throbbing. He answered the door and you heard the rustling of bags when he reappeared with the food. You weren’t even hungry anymore.
“Hungry?” That was all he asked before he started taking food out of the bags as if nothing had even happened. All you could do was stare at him in disbelief.
You weren’t even hungry anymore.
***
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#Sam Kiszka#Sam Kiszka GVF#Sam Kiszka Greta Van Fleet#Sammy Kiszka#Sammy Kiszka GVF#sammy kiszka greta van fleet#Sam Kiszka OneShot#Sam Kiszka One Shot#Sam Kiszka FanFic#Sam Kiszka Fan Fic#Sam Kiszka Smut#Sam Kiszka Fanfiction#Sam Kiszka Fan Fiction#Greta Van fleet#Sam Greta Van Fleet#Sam GVF#GVF Sam#Greta Van Fleet Sam#Sammy GVF#Sammy Greta Van Fleet#AgeOfBarbarians#Samuel Kiszka#Samuel Francis Kiszka#Samuel Kiszka Oneshot#Samuel Kiszka One Shot#Samuel Kiszka Fanfic#Samuel Kiszka Fan Fic#Samuel Kiszka Fanfiction#Samuel Kiszka Fan Fiction#Samuel Kiszka Smut
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