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graciellasamma · 11 months

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My AU of Previously On

Sup guys! As you can see on the title this is pretty much of what my version of RvB Season 15 Episode 5 “Previously On” because that episode is my favorite in season 15 because of how funny it is on their story of their retirement. If you want to know about the AU I made, then I suggest to go look at my oc “Frøy Kurenai.”

I hope you guys like it!

Grif: (groaning) Lots of bullshit, I don’t know where to start.

Tucker: Before or after the temple? If it’s before, this is gonna get NSFW real quick.

Sister: Oh yea.

Horobi: Oh God...

Izu: “Temple?”

Tucker: Ho yeah! After we captured Hargrove, we partied fucking hard! See, Chorus has this ancient relic called the Temple of Procreation that when activated makes-

Wyoming, Simmons, & Grif: WE SAID WE WOULDN’T TALK ABOUT THAT!

They quickly look at each other and Grif and Simmons quickly look away, embarrassed. Wyoming just blushed in embarrassment.

Blake: Wait. It doesn’t due as the same implies right?

Sarge: Oh it does! It was all like a planet-wide aphrodisiac! Things got real Bohemian! (knowingly) Mm-hmm!

Tucker: Yeah, y’all keep saying that! But everything felt normal to me!

Sister: Ya, it was completely normal.

Washington: Surprising no one.

Weiss: Gross!

Yang & Urataros: I wish I was there!!

Weiss & Momotaros: DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, YANG/YOU PERVERTED TURTLE!!!

Ruby: Ugh, from you Yang, I’m not even surprised.

O’Mally: Hehe, let me ease up Papa Wolf’s concern over his pup’s virginity. Once the idiot with the sword over here activated the temple. Frøy got bored and decided to play Monster Hunter on his Nintendo while hearing music with his earphone.

Jiro: So he didn’t do anything... weird?

Doc: No not at all, we just doing our business while Frøy too distracted by his game and hearing music.

Jin: I don’t get it, what are they talk about??

Horobi & Aruto: We’ll talk about it when you’re older!!

Felix: Locus was already off of Chorus by the time the planet-wide party began.

Grif is still looking away from Simmons.

Simmons: Can we-can we change the subject?

Ramon: why are you guys so nervous?

Caboose: (To Ramon) Oh, they’re just upset because they got locked in storage closet during the whole thing and Reggie and Flowers were in-

Gamma: Yes, and of course they were.

Ikazuchi, Yang, Nora, Momotaros, & Vice: WHAT?! HAHAHAHA!!!

Wyoming: THE SUBJECT. CHANGE IT.

Frøy: Hold on, I thought you were the one who-

Wyoming: I SAID: CHANGE IT.

Washington: To actually answer your question, after the war on Chorus we decided we were due some time off.

York: We’ve earned some R&R. Even Carolina, Tex, and South agreed!

Tex: When did I ever agree to th-

South: It was for the best. Clearly. (Takes a glance at Carolina)

Carolina: I thought I’d give the simple life a day in court.

Gamma: Surprising. Everyone.

Grif: No more adventure? Hell yeah, I was on board!

Butch: We were all on board.

Simmons: Kimball set us up on this isolated moon, and she built us some of the most awesome new bases, ever!

Shot of the new Red and Blue bases, which look like luxury condos.

Tucker: Everyone adjusted to the peace and quite differently. Some of us were natural!

Grif: Don’t hate the player.

Theta: Sarge got hopelessly depressed after not dying heroically on Chorus!

Sarge: Hogwash! Baseless slander!

Simmons: But you said-

~*~*~

Cut to the Red Team, including Lopez, outside their new base. Sarge walks up.

Sarge (flashback): I am hopelessly depressed after not dying heroically on Chorus! We need a new enemy...

Hearing this, Red Team quickly scatter.

Sarge (flashback): ...something to fight. Where y’all going?

~*~*~

Back in the Bases, CT looks at Carolina.

CT: Sarge wasn’t the only one having a hard time adjusting to inaction.

Everyone looks at Carolina.

Carolina: What?!

Washington: Fortunately, we found a tutor.

~*~*~

Cut to Carolina and Grif in a small ravine, Grif sitting cross-legged on the ground and Carolina standing up, looking at him as though he were a wise master. Or Yoda, maybe.

Carolina (flashback): (dead serious) Help me, Grif. Help me be the best at being lazy.

Grif (flashback): (wise and mysterious) You’re not ready, padawan.

Carolina (flashback): I can try!

Grif (flashback): No. There is no try.

Felix (flashback): (offscreen, yelled) YOU SAID THE LINE!!

~*~*~

Flowers: (narrator) The peaceful times didn’t last too long. Turns out this planet has some native lifeforms!

~*~*~

Loud thumping as Flowers, Frøy, North, Simmons, Tucker, and Grif run across the scene. We hear the sound of a dinosaur roaring.

Simmons (flashback): AHHHH, RUNNN!!!!

Grif (flashback): I CAN’T DIE AS FOOD! OHHH HOOO, THE IRONY!!!!!

North (flashback): HOW IS THAT IRONY?!?!

Frøy (flashback): HAHAHA!! I’M HAVING SO MUCH FUN!!!

~*~*~

Carolina: (narrator) While everyone debated if dying as food was technically ironic, Caboose went and made friends with the dinosaurs.

Hiromi: Why would he do that?

Grif: (narrator) Because of course he did.

~*~*~

Carolina, Flowers, North, Frøy, Tucker, Grif, Sarge, and their AIs are staring up in awe the camera, while we see the shadow of a dinosaur with a Caboose-sized figure on its head.

Caboose (flashback): (offscreen) Awww, who’s a good boy?! Awww, you are a good boy!

Felix (flashback): Holy shit!

Flowers (flashback): CABOOSE, get down from there!

Church (flashback): How the hell does he get up there without getting eaten?!

Frøy (flashback): Can I eat it?

Sarge (flashback): Tell him to fight me!

Theta (flashback): Ummm Sarge, you do know you are gonna lose that fight in a heartbeat, right?

~*~*~

Tex: And let’s not forgot, trivia night.

Everyone except Felix, Wash, Delta, Theta, Carolina, Caboose, and Donut groans at that.

Felix: Hey, you guys wanted to give me a party, and that’s what I got.

Tucker: Easy for you to say! You got all the answers right!!

Simmons: You gave us hard questions.

Felix: Are you serious? It was easy!

York: It was a trick question!!

Ryutaros: What’s trivia night?

Delta: They are like pub quiz, one of us has to ask the question that we made while the rest of us have to answer the question correctly.

Theta: We decide to make a theme on all the questions from his favorite movie series!

Tucker: Which is Star Wars by the way. (glaring at Felix)

~*~*~

Everyone gathers around for trivia night.

Grif (flashback): Anakin Skywalker.

Felix (flashback): (monotone, like church) No.

York (flashback): C-3PO.

Felix (flashback): (monotone) No. That’s a droid.

Sarge (flashback): Grif.

Felix (flashback): No. He’s not even a Star Wars character Sarge.

Sarge (flashback):............. You sure?

~*~*~

Felix: WHAT PART OF “THE MOST ANNOYING CHARACTER IN THE STAR WARS UNIVERSE” DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?!

Sarge: It was a trick question!

Felix: Oh come on! I gave you plenty of hints! Even Caboose got it right!

Caboose: I nearly said Tarkin because he is mean.

Frøy & Church: Well not all of us is a Star Wars nerd like you, so sorry if we don’t know all the characters!!

Felix: Oh fuck you both!! (Giving them the middle finger)

Grif: (narrator) And then DONUT somehow managed to burn down our bases!

~*~*~

Donut standing in the foreground, while the bases burn in the background.

Donut (flashback): Whoopsy-daisy!

~*~*~

Grif: (narrator) Ah-ha, why, why, oh why?!

Church: Some of them were crying, and some of them didn’t care.

Tucker: And you were one of those people who didn’t give a shit.

Church: I expected things to go wrong from the start. Don’t blame me if I didn’t help with the problem, dickhead!

Donut: (offscreen, still unfiltered) I told you, it was a simple mishap with my vanilla-satin-scented candles. Sheesh.

Flowers: DONUT! CLOTHES!

Donut: Party pooper!

Kintaros: Why is he naked?

Leo: THAT’S your first question?

Aruto: Why did you have a candle in the first place?

Wyoming: We need them to remove the stench that was coming from the kitchen.

All eyes from the Reds and Blues glared at Carolina yet again.

Carolina: I was trying to find a hobby, so don’t blame me.

Frøy: Are you kidding me?! I wasn’t able to use the toilet because of both Grif and Sister were stuck in the bathroom for weeks because of food poisoning, and the toilet clogged because of that!!

Grif: I regret ever tasting that MRE.

Jiro: I know how you feel.

Both Jiro and Ramon glared at Riki because of the stench in his room and his cooking skill.

Simmons: Anyway, we lost 80% of our rations in the fire, so these two fat-asses (looks at Grif and Sister) over here started going around and eating native plants!

~*~*~

Grif and Sister approach some wild mushrooms that glow a mysterious blue coolor.

Grif (flashback): Oh, hey there, sexy.

Sister (flashback): These look good.

~*~*~

Simmons: (narrator) Oh, and as it turns out, the mushrooms are basically crystal meth ON crystal meth!

~*~*~

Cut to Grif and Sister running by, in order, Sarge fighting a tree, Carolina fixing a Warthog, and Simmons going for a walk.

Grif (flashback): (super fast) Heyhohowyadoin’? Good?Okay. I’mgonnagoforarun. AlotofpeoplesayI’mnotfast,butI’msuperfast. Don’ttell anyybodythough,it’soursecret, Okay, bye!

Sister (flashback): (super fast) I’msofullyetIhavesomuchenergy.

~*~*~

Back to the base.

Grif: Yeah? Well, at least I didn’t spend my summer learning Esperanto!

Simmons: (ashamed) I thought “Esperanto” was Spanish for “Spanish.”

Church: Spanish is just Spanish! Me and Delta told you thst multiple times but you kept saying Esperanto is Spanish!

Simmons: I know...!

Frøy: And now you’re the only one in the universe who speaks a dead language! How appropriate!

Simmons: (sigh) Mi estas tiel sola. (I’m so alone.)

Caboose: And Freckles got a new body! He can use any bathroom he wants now!

~*~*~

Freckles walks threateningly into the scene. We then cut to a wide shot to reveal he’s hopelessly small, with Caboose and Tucker looking at him.

Freckles (flashback): (like a chipmunk) Prepare to be exterminated!

He shoots Caboose. Caboose dramatically falls.

Caboose (flashback): AHHH! Tucker! You’re supposed to be playing dead.

Tucker (flashback): (leaving) Riiight...

~*~*~

Back to the base.

Tucker: That’s right around when we tried to raise some money for new bases by selling off our movie rights!

Delta: I believe we didn’t have any-

Ruby, Jin, Ryutaros, Aruto, Leo, & Vice: You have movie rights?! Awesome!

Pyrrha: Even with my fame. No movie company has asked for me to be in any of their films.

Izuku: What rights did you own?

South: Us and for some reason Reservoir Dogs. We still have no idea why we own that.

Grif: Yeah well, Hollywood really screwed the pooch on that one.

Church: We should have burned the script when we had a chance.

Weiss: Was it bad?

Doc: Well it received positive reviews and critical acclaim. They just got us and the story all wrong.

O’Mally: Ugh, they just have to ruined my character.

Simmons: Oh, but we were rich!

Grif: And then we realized water parks were way more awesome than bases!

Carolina: So we built the galaxy’s greatest... water park.

CT: 101 on how to waste money on useless stuff, we don’t need.

~*~*~

Cut to the water park. Where all the boys even Washington jump in the air with joy. Carolina, South, and CT refrains.

Boys (flashback): Yay!

Girls (flashback): (with disinterest) Yay...

~*~*~

Ruby, Jin, Vice, Ramon, & Ryutaros: That’s so cool!!

Yang: I wanna swim! I’ll get my bikini!

Wyoming: Don’t bother.

George: What? Why?

Grif: BECAUSE OF DONUT-!

~*~*~

Mirroring the shot from before, Donut is in the foreground as the park burns in the background.

Donut: Whoopsy-daisy.

~*~*~

Grif: I MEAN HOW?! HOW DO YOU BURN DOWN A WATER PARK, DONUT?!

Delta: It is highly illogical of how he did it.

Donut walks in, now wearing his armor.

Donut: 1) Lube isn’t normally flammable! And B) I didn’t burn down the whole water park! Just the park part!

Caboose: And then we formed the best band ever!

Washington: Tucker thought it might attract... chicks.

Tucker: Which worked.

~*~*~

Cut to Grif and Tucker arguing over the name, with Caboose watching on the drum while Frøy was on the mic and while Church and Felix just standing and floating at their partner’s side while watching the whole argument.

Grif: The Talking reds!

Tucker: Mötley Blüe!

Grif: How about redmau5?

Carolina: Hey, I heard you boys are looking for a backup singer.

Tucker: Uh, yeah! Chick singers are awesome!

Grif: Can you sing, though?

Frøy and Church does a killing gesture knowing their sister’s voice.

Carolina: (confident) Can I sing?

~*~*~

Cut to the base.

Tucker: (unconvincingly) Carolina sings. So good.

Carolina: Thank you.

Simmons: Oh, and we’re definitely not hust saying that because she could kill us.

Wyoming: And break every bone in our body.

Grif: (strained) So. Good.

Tucker: I mean... Frøy wasn’t bad.

Frøy: Please stop it.

Simmons: Sarge decided to make his own enemy, so he built an evil robot army to invade our valley!

Tucker: But the robots malfunctioned and attacked the dinosaurs!

Theta & Iota: And it was the awesomest battle ever! Of all time!!

~*~*~

Cut to the Reds and Blues watching an enormous battle happening offscreen. We get explosions and roars and some flashes of red light plus a black plume of smoke coming in from off-camera.

Theta/Iota (flashback): Woah.../Wow...

Washington (flashback): I have seen some amazing things in my life, but this...? This takes the cake.

Frøy (flashback): I think I can died happy now.

~*~*~

Back to the base.

Vice: Now that is so cool!

Ryutaros: Are the dinosaurs still alive?

CT: Yeah they are, they just destroyed the robots and left. Haven’t seen them in awhile though.

Carolina: (snickering) And then Grif convinced Simmons Game of Thrones really happened.

Leo: What the heck is Game of Thrones?

Ikazuchi: A really good TV show ever!

Blake: And Grif convinced him that a fictional series actually exist?

Simmons: He explained it to me in very convincing manner.

South: And apparently, after that, we learned Simmons has a knack for-

Simmons: (panicked) Don’t say it!

~*~*~

Grif and Simmons are standing on top of the base, mirroring their positions in the first episode.

Simmons (flashback): Nuh-uh.

Grif (flashback): Uh-huh.

Simmons (flashback): Oh, shut up!

Grif (flashback): Seriously, dude!

Simmons (flashback): Nah, nah, no way!

Grif (flashback): Yeah, way!

Simmons (flashback): Dude.

Grif (flashback): Dude.

Simmons (flashback): Dude!

Grif (flashback): Dude.

Simmons (flashback): Dude!

Grif (flashback): Yeah, dude.

Simmons (flashback): That’s awesome! Man, I’m gonna go visit!

~*~*~

Weiss: Seriously?

George: Wow, you’re must be an idiot for falling for that.

Ryutaros: Wai! Simmons-no-baka!

Simmons: What? I can’t believe in it? Anyway, Sarge found a new enemy! One that would keep him busy for the rest of our time here.

~*~*~

The Reds are gathered outside the new base, watching Sarge walks on camera again.

Sarge (flashback): For far too long our people have been oppressed, crushed, under the weight pf ourselves! If we don’t start standing up to our mortal foe gravitty, by god who will?

Washington, Frøy, Church, Felix, Carolina, and Tex are watching nearby.

Carolina (flashback): Are we really going to let this play out?

Washington (flashback): Why not see where it goes?

Felix (flashback): This is gonna be good.

Church (flashback): Something we can agreed on.

Frøy (flashback): You both are just cruel.

Lopez is in the Warthog, Sarge nearby.

Sarge (flashback): Buckle up, friendo! It’s time we take this fight to the enemy!

Lopez (flashback): Por farvor no. (Please no.)

The Warthog goes flying off a cliff.

Sarge (flashback): Chaaaarge!

~*~*~

Simmons: But that just meant Blue Team had one more Jeep than Red Team.

Tex: Not the First time either.

~*~*~

Back to outside the base: Donut, Grif, Simmons, North, South, Wyoming, and CT are standing there, while the warthog is on fire in the background.

Sarge (flashback): Gentlemen and lady, we simply cannot let Blue Team have tactical superiority over the canyon! This means war! Red. VS. BLUE!

Lopez (flashback): (offscreen) Mierda... (Shit...)

~*~*~

Back to the base.

Tucker: That helped us realize just how outdated this whole Red Team-Blue Team thing really is.

Simmons: So, we had a meeting to debate a new form of government.

Yaiba & Naki: Oh this should to be good.

~*~*~

The Reds and Blues are facing each other outside their base, Carolina having joined the Blues this time.

Grif (flashback): I vote anarchy.

Simmons (flashback): You can’t vote anarchy, you dumbass!

Omega & O’Mally (flashback): But it fit us so well!

Flowers & Doc (flashback): No!

Tucker (flashback): Monarchy! Whoever holds the magical sword, (draws his sword) Excalibur!

Caboose (flashback): Party Paryarchy!

Felix (flashback): Jedi Order!

Frøy (flashback): Of course, you’ll choose that.

Felix (flashback): Hey, up yours Frøy.

North (flashback): Democracy?

Sarge (flashback): Military Dictatorship!

Carolina (flashback): Matriarchy.

CT (flashback): I like where you’re thinking.

South (flashback): Fuck yeah!

Tex (flashback): We can make an agreement on that. (smirks)

Church (flashback): Typical.

The girls (flashback): Hey!

Church (flashback): Not all of us are girls in this valley! Heck, most of us are pretty much a dude! Of course, it’s freaking cliche.

Caboose (flashback): Oh! How about Malarkey?

Flowers (flashback): Caboose, that’s not a type of government! It just means meaningless talk and nonesense!

Long silence.

~*~*~

Washington: (back at the base) Malarkey won.

Theta: There was also the time when Frøy built a bomb and it blew up and make a wormhole to a new universe.

Grif: And what came out was really, really, really weird.

~*~*~

Everyone is gathered up.

Wasington (flashback): This has to be one of the strangest things I’ve seen ever... Of all time.

Frøy and female Frøy are looking at each other with Church and Felix floating at their partner’s side also in their opposite gender. Both wear identical armor and have identical weapons.

Both Frøy (flashback): THIS IS AMAZING!!

Both Church, Felix, & Tex (flashback): This is a fucking nightmare.

~*~*~

CT: The destruction they caused was enormous.

Frøy: (sigh) Too bad she had to go home. I never met someone that I could have so much fun with.

Church: Thank God for that!! I don’t think I could handle another Frøy and Felix.

Felix: I could say the same for you, asshole.

Tex: I suppose to be the one to say that\, consider that I have to be the one to handle the both of you cockbites.

Church & Felix: Shut up, bitch.

Donut: Oh! And don’t forgot York and Carolina’s wedding!

Ruby: (gasp) Really?! That’s amazing you guys!

Leo: Congrats, you two!

Sakura: Omedetō!

George: Congratulation!

Ikazuchi: Mazel tov!

York and Carolina: Thanks.

~*~*~

Carolina was in a nice Cyan dress with York in a suit holding each other hands. Behind Carolina were CT, South, and Kimball while behind York were Wash, North, and Tucker while Frøy as the Ring Bearer with Church, Felix, and Tex floating at his side. In the center is Sarge marrying them.

Sarge (flashback): And now by the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife. Just kiss the bribe already.

York chuckles with a grin.

York (flashback): You don’t have to tell me twice.

Before York could even kiss her, Carolina grabbed him by the collar and dipped him, he got startled by this but he kissed her back as everyone cheered. The lieutenants and feds shot their guns in the air as Donut and Jensen were crying.

~*~*~

Wyoming: And that’s when we knew who would be in control in bed.

Tucker: (chuckles) That’s not what I saw at the-

Carolina: Finish that sentence and I’ll make sure you have surgery so you be a women.

There was an awkward silence for that until Caboose broke it.

Caboose: Ah, you haven’t mentioned the dark place!

Tucker: Oh yeah! Somehow Caboose got stuck in another dimension!

Frøy: I didn’t do it.

~*~*~

Caboose is somehow in the Upside-Down from Netflix’s Stranger Things.

Caboose (flashback): Hello? Anyone there? THIS IS AWESOME!

The Reds and Blues are staring at the alphabet Christmas lights from Stranger Things.

Washington (flashback): “Neat.” He just... keeps saying, “Neat.”

North (flashback): I think he’s just excited, or he could be yelling for help if “neat” meant something.

Delta (flashback): How did he even end up there?

~*~*~

Back to the base.

Tucker: Oh, and we found Donut dead!

Nora: Really?

~*~*~

Grif and Wyoming find Donut’s supposedly dead body lying next to a body of water.

Grif (flashback): Sweet.

Wyoming (flashback): I guess it was the best day ever.

Simmons, Tucker, York, Wyoming, Grif, North, and their A.I.s are staring at a shallow grave.

Grif: (voiceover) We decided to bury him in a shallow, unmarked grave.

They look up, hearing Donut offscreen.

Donut (flashback): (offscreen, unfiltered) Aw, fiddlesticks! I can’t find my suit!

Grif: (narrator) Turns out he was just... skinny-dipping.

York: (narrator) And that’s where I got second-degree trauma. Thanks a lot, fuckface.

Donut (flashback): (offscreen, unfiltered, cont’d) Guess I’m going au natural! Nice and breezy!

~*~*~

Leo: Did you see him?

Grif: Yes! Yes, we saw him!

~*~*~

In the exact same shot from when they were running from the dinosaur, Simmons, Tucker, York, North, and Grif run from Donut.

Simmons: AAAAAHHHH, RUN!

Wyoming: DON’T LOOK! DON’T LOOK!

Grif: AH, THE IRONY!

York: I’M BLIND!

North: I’M SCARED FOR LIFE!

~*~*~

CT: But that wasn’t even the weirdest thing that happened! Wash, Grew. A bread...

~*~*~

Cut to Washington standing outside. Of course, we can’t see the beard because his helmet is on.

Washington (flashback): It’s kind of... itchy.

~*~*~

Tucker: And then this morning Grif spiked Simmons’s couscous with his meth-meth shrooms! And Sister wanted to see if she was faster than him.

Grif: You know, for the lolz.

~*~*~

Cut to the shot from the opening, with Grif and Flowers talking to Frøy and the rest of his companion that he met and brings them to the base as Simmons and Sister runs by.

Simmons (flashback): (super fast) Ihaventbeenbeenthishypersinceihadamargerita!

Sister (flashback): (super fast) FastImfastyougotabetterone

Donut (flashback): (offscreen, voice unfiltered) Anyone seen my tanning oil?

Flowers (flashback): Jesus Donut, we have guests!

Grif (flashback): Put some clothes on, for Pete sake!

Tucker appears again.

Tucker (flashback): Oh ho, Blue-Tang Clan!

Grif (flashback): The Red Kennedys!

There is a loud whistling sound, as though something is falling from a great height.

Sarge (flashback): (falling with it) SUCK IT NEWTON!

We quickly cut back to Grif before Sarge hits the ground.

~*~*~