"Bella gerunt alii, tu felix Austria nube!"

Day 6 of @spaus-week 's challenge

"Let others wage war, you, happy Austria, marry!" Was the political strategy of the Habsburgs, and marry did the House of Austria! Infamously, scandalously, sensationally. A mangled wreath of a family tree. We all know this horror story. And we all know the bitter end.

After Emperor Charles V&I divided his Spanish and Austrian inheritance ((also gained through his parents' and grandparents' marriages)) to his descendants and those of his younger brother Ferdinand I respectively, the Habsburg dynasty split into two branches. The Spanish and Austrian Habsburgs notoriously intermarried for generations, right up till Charles II of Spain whose heirless death in 1700 sparked the War of the Spanish Succession. The inbreeding and this informal Latin motto behind it has been blamed to hell and back for their implosion, for the physical ugliness that ran in this royal bloodline. But it is not to say the Habsburgs never went to war, nor that dynastic marriage was a political strategy unique to them! But they were, if anything, bloody successful at it seeing how they did rule half of Europe for 200 years, and then a lot of it in the Austrian line for another 200. Before anyone figured out inbreeding was bad it was considered a privilege to marry into the Habsburgs, with Louis XV claiming that Louis XVI's betrothal to Marie Antoinette was marrying the "Daughter of the Caesars", and Napoleon Bonaparte infamously ditching Josephine for Marie Louise. Charles II was a poor sod who took the fall and the mugs were wretched from the same ugly gene being passed around countless times*, but they did wear power and privilege well.

💅✨ Symbolism bc I'm a NERD and this my Category 10 autism event ✨💅 :

Charles V & Ferdinand I's joint portrait based on that propaganda woodcut, behind them the colours of the Habsburg flag.

The Spanish branch, comprising Charles V & I's descendants, is represented with a black background, and the Austrian branch, comprising Ferdinand I's descendants, gold, both colours pulled from their flag, a dynasty intertwined but split in two.

Round frames denote that the individual had no heirs.

Only the most influential ruler on both sides, the King of Spain and the Holy Roman Emperor, are represented as framed portraits, explaining Archduke Charles II's unframed depiction.

The unconventional placement of Charles II of Spain and Emperor Rudolf II's nameplates are a nod to their queerness: their intersexuality and bisexuality respectively.

Ferdinand III's portrait is lopsided because of the losses of the 30 Years War.

Cracks in Charles II's portrait: 🙃🙃🙃

team 🧚‍♂️

falls down the stairs

Had 3 (THREEE!!!!) separate conversations with different people about everyone's cringe middle school fandoms — naturally I had to revisit these old fuckos and draw them as I'd always imagined but couldn't execute with my 14 year old art skills.  Uh. If you remember my ask blog. Noooo you don't

art tag // commission info

The only time I will draw this bitch is if Im paid for it 💅🏻

Commission for @galactic---burst !!! Thanks bub!!

"Play something for me"

"Anything?"

"Anything."

"Liszt it is then." Sometimes when no one looked they could have their sweet moments like this. He would only learn how to play some of the Liszt's compositions for her but every time someone asked why Roderich would just pretend that it was just for himself when in truth it was so she could feel closer to home. --- Look! my parents

they're married

I think everyone is doing Austria a disservice when they write him as a prudish blushing flower, and not as a manipulative bitch who has mastered weaponized sexuality. YES he's an uptight snob, but when you look at the history of Austria's military alliances there is a lot of calculated moves based around arranged unions instead of (or to subdue) all out wars. It's much more fun imo to see Roderich as someone who can seduce you into a strategic marriage for the sake of saving his own ass.

Pruaus but is badly drawn as the ugly groom and beautiful bride thing

welcome to Austria's channel

what a promiscuous gentleman....

the other notable people on list is

3. Spain 4. Switzerland

“When we make it out of this, I’ll teach you to shoot.”

rod was DEVASTATED when liech cut her hair

*crawls up to you on her knees* pls sir, can-can I have Austria singing and twirling to the tune of The Hills Are Alive?

DID YOU KNOW I HAVE HAD THIS ASK IN MY INBOX SINCE 2017?!

Anyway, here you go, bb. I finally did this as a cooldown drawing tonight. ✨️

I think that Austria has one of those hairless meat cats. I think he found it on the street. He puts sweaters on it so it does not get cold. He carries it around in his purse. It's still a little feral so it bites everyone who isn't Austria. He probably named it Strudel or something. Everyone wants to get rid of Strudel. Nobody likes Strudel. Strudel has been alive for 80 years and is still kicking. If anyone dares to harm Austria's wrinkle baby, it's game on. Strudel is that meaty barrier that keeps Austria from flipping his shit big time. He probably keeps a picture of Strudel in his wallet and shows it off on airplanes. He probably takes Strudel on walks around his gated community and gets into brawls with his neighbors who think that Strudel is gross. Strudel probably manages to bring Austria dead things while simultaneously being an indoor cat. Do you see my vision? Give Austria a crusty meat cat 2023.

smh!!!!

How Austria Girlies Be...