Stancy were absolutely that unrealised bi4bi couple, they completely mistook their own celeb crushes for each others,

Nancy "Oh yeah Steve totally had a thing for Princess Leia when we watched Star Wars together" Wheeler

vs.

Steve "We totally watched Star Wars because of Han Solo, Nancy always had a thing for Harrison Ford!" Harrington

One day Steve makes a comment about how he loves that he can talk girls with Robin but kind of misses talking about boys with Nancy, and before that Carol.

Robin: oH WE CAN TALK ABOUT BOYS IF YOU NEED TO??!

Steve: No, Rob, that would be weird! You don't like boys.

Robin: but it wasn't weird when they would talk to YOU about boys?

Steve: No, cause we'd talk about girls as well!

Robin: Nancy and Carol would... talk girls?!

I fucking love pretty much every version of the “celebrity x Just Some Guy™” trope that there is for Steddie, but in honor of having a totally reasonable amount of wine I’m going to tell you about the version I’m currently thinking about all the time, one of my dumbest yet also funniest AU concepts: modern!AU with streamers Steve & Robin and Hardcore Fan™ Eddie who writes reader-insert fic about Steve.

Steve and Robin, aka EvenStevens and BirdBox_ on Twitch (“My name is spelled with a P-H, Robin, that’s such a stupid name.” “No, it’s actually even better this way! You don’t want to just use your real government name for something like this, and you would just make your username ‘SteveHarrington01′ or something equally uninspired-”) frequently stream together and have a shared YouTube channel. They got popular doing reaction videos that quickly devolve into the pair of them bickering on camera, and since the internet just loves the ‘snarky woman and her emotional support himbo’ dynamic, they got very big, very quick. Plus, it certainly doesn’t hurt that they had the combined might of Dustin and Erica to help them bend the algorithm to their whims.

While most people recognize their platonic-with-a-capital-P soulmatism, there are still some that are convinced they’re secretly dating - they can’t decide if it’s hilarious or absolutely maddening that every time they try to disprove the rumors, they somehow get stronger. Robin doesn’t feel comfortable coming out to the internet yet, and without that trump card some people just can’t understand why they’re not dating.

...there are other sections of their fandom, however, that absolutely do believe they’re not dating. Mainly because they’d rather be dating Steve or Robin (or both!) themselves, and write all the reader-insert fanfiction you could ever possibly need about it. Robin is largely ambivalent to the concept of fanfiction being written about herself as long as they’re not writing smut, since at least that way they’re not insisting she’s dating Steve.

Steve on the other hand finds it absolutely hilarious how despite how much he’s changed, he’s back to being the heartthrob he used to be in high school - and, he’ll be honest, he thrives on the attention. He’s given everyone the green light to write whatever they want - dared them to make it raunchier, even - to the point where it’s a running joke that Steve will read your reader-insert fanfiction about him unless you tag it with some form of ‘Steve don’t look’. He even used the prevalence of fic about himself to come out on stream.

(Steve’s in the middle of re-organizing his flower field in Animal Crossing when he’s interrupted by a donation. “Hey Steve, really sorry to tell you this but people are writing porn about you... and they’re making it gay. Like writing about you getting fucked by a dude. Just wanted you to know so you can say something about it.”

Steve stops dead, his screen freezing on his open inventory. “Hey, uh, why the fuck would I have a problem about a fictional version of me bottoming? Or- wait, do I seriously give off homophobic vibes? I’m literally bisexual. Hey Dustin, can you ban that guy please? Christ, the nerve of some people. If that’s how you feel about people being gay, or about people writing things that I’ve already said I have no problem with, you can leave this stream right now because I don’t want you here.“)

Many people lost their minds after that stream, one of them being popular tumblr blog whorefireclub.

Eddie didn’t plan on starting a tumblr blog for self-insert fanfiction about a twitch streamer. Really he didn’t, and every time he thinks about it in terms that plain he kind of dies a little on the inside. It’s really all Gareth’s fault, for getting fed up with Eddie’s dumb parasocial crush on a streamer and daring him to just “get it out of his system already”. So, using a bare-bones anonymous tumblr and many, many beers as his cover story, Eddie posted some of the most quickly written and unedited pieces of writing he’s ever produced in his life.

Except he wrote it with an AMAB reader character - and for those of you unfamiliar with the reader-insert sphere, that’s like fucking hen’s teeth. People are pretty good at making things gender neutral at least in their descriptions, and sometimes the anatomy is vague enough that it’s ambiguous, but the majority is written with AFAB genitalia for the reader character.

Eddie’s little drunken post blows up, and at first, he’s never regretted a life choice more.

After thinking about it, and seeing just how many people left comments with their reblogs or came into his askbox directly to thank him for giving them the representation they wanted, he starts to feel a bit better about the whole thing. In fact, it kind of tickles his “protector of the outcasts” instincts; there are people who can’t enjoy the content they want to because it doesn’t gel with their anatomy or gender identity. Eddie could, hypothetically, if he wanted to be absolutely insane about this one hot streamer guy, help fix that problem somewhat.

A couple of months later and he’s become “the guy who writes inclusive reader-insert fic”. While a fair amount of his work is gender-ambiguous, both in anatomy and in avoiding gendered language, more than half is written for anyone who finds themselves underrepresented in the usual reader-insert scene; anyone AMAB, AFAB people who can’t do female language, he’s even written a few oneshots with intersex reader characters. He did research for it and everything. It’s certainly not how he planned for this to work out, but it’s actually kind of... nice. He’d written a lot of fanfiction in his youth, mainly about Lord of the Rings and Star Trek, and while this isn’t how he’d imagined returning to the hobby it’s actually really fun. (It’s making his celebrity crush on Steve a million times worse, of course, but he’s in denial about that so it’s totally fine.)

He’s a little shit, so his blog header has - underneath his personal details - a PSA that reads “Steve, don’t look at this unless you have the balls to shout me out on stream ;)”. Eddie thinks he’s absolutely hilarious.

Right up until he wakes up to find his following has exploded overnight, and upon checking his DMs from his mutuals realizes that - oh shit - that bastard actually did it and talked about his blog on stream.

And Steve said he liked it. Steve likes the porn that Eddie wrote about him. Jesus H. Christ, Eddie is so unfathomably fucked.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

if this were to exist as a fic it would be told through social media posts/DMs. one of those fics that uses unconventional (i.e. non-prose) formatting, you know the ones. the concept actually came from the fact I fucking LOVE fics like that, I’m a slut for any of that House of Leaves-type shit. one time I read a fic that consisted of 8 short stories and each one had a HTML puzzle you had to solve to be able to read it, e.g. one you had to highlight because the text was in white, another you needed to hover your mouse over to make it scroll through the text - I can’t remember the rest but it was SO COOL.

(or, to put this another way, I read homestuck at a formative age and it forever changed how I feel about formatting stories.)

Survey #330

“and i don't want ya  /  and i don't need ya  /  don't bother to resist, or i'll beat ya  /  it's not your fault that you're always wrong  /  the weak ones are there to justify the strong”

If you have a job, do you like it? I'm unemployed. Do you like any kinds of fruit? Well of course. Are you waiting for something right now? Covid and this headache to fuck off, May for my tattoo, to be paid to take some pictures again... What is your favorite kind of animal? Kind, not the actual animal itself? In that case, social species, usually mammals. What kind of Dippin' Dots do you like? Holy shit, I haven't had that in like a damn decade or something. I don't know, I barely remember the taste. Who is the most badass woman that you can think of? My mom. My mother is a fucking warrior. Do you have a Pinterest account? Yeah. I get a lot of photography ideas from there, as well as base pictures to make Mark icons, haha. If you were to write a book, what would it be about? The stories I and my friends have weaved in RP. Have you ever seen the television show The Munsters? AHHHHH YES!!!!! Mom loves that show, so I used to watch it with her growing up. Have you ever written one of those 'Roses are red...' valentines? I don't think so. Would you/have you spent more than $200 on any one person for a holiday? I haven't, but I would for certain people. Do you have a favorite Robin Williams movie? Probably Night at the Museum. Thoughts on Slender Man? Have you even heard of him? I think it's a cool creepypasta; he does look pretty unnerving with his height and especially lack of a face. The movie was good too, btw. Do you know what the Tardis is? I think almost everyone does in this generation, haha. Doctor Who ain't no joke to a whole lot of people. Are there any children's shows that you'd watch today if they were on? Sure, like Pokemon or Avatar: The Last Airbender, among others. I wouldn't at all be opposed to watching The Lion Guard, either. I actually want to, with my whole TLK love. I'm not embarrassed to watch "kids" shows or movies at all. What would you call yourself the King or Queen of? Having not an ounce of knowledge on how to love things in moderation/avoid total obsession with things, haha. If I paid for you to take karate lessons, would you? No, especially not now with my legs. Do you read more fiction or non-fiction? Almost solely fiction. What modern technology are you especially grateful for? Laptops, ig. Do you have a favorite science topic? Genetics. Very fascinating stuff. Have you ever read any Sherlock Holmes stories? No. What is the saddest movie that you've ever seen? Either Johnny Got His Gun or Boy in the Striped Pajamas. What's your most popular post? On what? If Facebook, I don't really know. Possibly my "coming out" one or a lovey-dovey essay when Sara and I were together. On Tumblr, it's definitely the gif I made of Mark and Chica (his dog) with I think over 10k notes. Manga or anime? Anime. I don't read manga, though I've been tempted with Deadman Wonderland since the show only had one season and ends on a ginormous cliffhanger, but there's more story to be had. A card game that you're good at? None, really. A popular book you haven't read yet? To Kill a Mockingbird. I feel like every school student has read it at some point. Favorite Mean Girls quote? I don't know any. It's a fine movie, but I've never understood the hype. Name your top 3 albums from your favorite band/artist. Black Rain, Ozzmosis, and... then I can't choose. I love so, so many very dearly. Name your top 5 music videos. I don't really watch music videos, so I definitely can't name five. My #1 favorite is probably "Wrong Side of Heaven" by Five Finger Death Punch; I absolutely cannot watch it without crying. What are you most passionate about? How did this passion develop? Animals. I was born simply adoring animals and have always wanted to protect them and their environment. Do you like monkeys? Do you believe in evolution? Yes and yes. We've literally watched it in action. What embarrasses you the most in front of other people? Discussing RP if you're not involved in it. I'm terrified of people thinking I'm weird. Have you considered running for president? Absolutely not. Which famous person would you like to be BFFs with? I'd say Mark, but I'd be way too interested in dating him instead of being just friends, haha... So with that said, maybe Bindi Irwin? Would you ever go skinny dipping with the last person who commented you? Lyndsey would be that person, so no. She's a great friend of mine, but realistically I'd probably only ever - if ever - do that with the company of my s/o. Are you still friends with the last person who broke your trust? No. How long did your last relationship last? Around two years. Have you ever been banned from anywhere? Online, yes, as a little kid on the Animal Planet forum, haha... Has anyone kissed you when you weren't expecting it? Yeah, Juan. Did you like it? It was a sweet moment, but I didn't want it. Does your dad smoke? Like a chimney. Is your mom over 50? Yeah. Are you currently listening to anything? Yeah, kinda hooked on "The Horrible People" by Manson. I've found a lot of great music lately. Would you ever consider getting breast implants? No, but once (if...) I lose all the weight I want, it's going to be a moderate priority to get a breast lift. I've hated my body way too fucking long and am dying to be satisfied with it again, and with how much weight I need to lose, I would essentially have grandma tits. :x Do you know anyone who is bisexual? Me, haha. Among some friends. Who would you tell, or who did you tell when you lost your virginity? That's not something I'd just go to tell someone afterwards for no reason... I'd only ever mention having lost my virginity if I was actually asked or if it was relevant to a conversation. Is there something you have been trying to learn lately? I'm really trying to practice opposite action and behavioral activation, among other things I've learned in group therapy. When you think about your future career, do you envision yourself becoming the head honcho or CEO? If not, why not? Well, I want to be my own boss as a freelance photographer. In any other job, I definitely wouldn't want that. Too much responsibility and leadership skills. Can you think of a time when you seriously misjudged a music artist based on their name? I don't think so? Have you ever kissed someone that you didn’t really want to kiss (not assault, just indifference)? Why did you go along with it and how did you feel after? Yes, Tyler. I felt like I was "supposed to." I felt really uncomfortable afterwards. If you have to wake up early for something, what time is just TOO early for you to be there and be presentable and sentient? Have you ever had to be somewhere that early? Probably like, 5:00. No. Have the majority of your romantic relationships started with a physical attraction or a deeper connection? Always an emotional connection. Did you ever write a fan letter to a celebrity? How about submit something to a magazine? No to both. What hair color is the most attractive on the opposite sex? Of natural colors, black, but I like unnaturally dyed hair most. Where do you like to go to when you are stressed? On a carride, so long as I'm controlling the music nice and loud and not talking. Where do you go to get your hair cut/dyed? To a family friend's little salon/small business. Why do you want the career that you want? Because I adore art and think it's pretty darn magical that you can freeze a moment forever to not just remember in your head, but actually see. Have you ever watched iCarly? Yeah, I enjoyed it when I was younger. What was your favorite class during your sophomore year of high school? Art. Do you wear bandanas in your hair? No. Have you ever been on a blind date? No, not interested. How many living grandparents do you still have? None. Have you ever worked in an office? No. Who does the grocery shopping in your house? Mom. Have you ever stayed in a hotel without your parents or older relatives? No. Did you have an Easy-Bake oven when you were little? Sure did. Have you ever seen a donkey? Yeah. Have you ever made out in a hot tub? Pretty sure no. Do you always flush the toilet after you use it? Yes. What were the last words you said to your dad? Probably "bye, love you." Have you cuddled with someone you weren’t dating? Nah. Who has the ability to hurt you the most emotionally? JASON. Are you a really understanding person? Yeah, very. Are you the type of person that enjoys getting hugs? Yes. When’s the last time you wore a wig? For a witch costume many years ago. Why were you last hospitalized? Suicide attempt. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without food? At least 12 hours, but I think I almost went a day once back when recovery started and my appetite was non-existent. What was the last name of your third grade teacher? Mrs. Britt. How was the last chicken you ate cooked? They were chicken tenders. What is your favorite kind of chip? Hot crunchy Cheetos. What grade did you have your first boyfriend? 7th. Have you ever been told that you’ve lost weight? Yeah, back when I actually WAS losing loads of weight. >> Do you have the same political views as your parents? Some things, but definitely not all. Does anyone call you babe/baby? No. Have you ever made a significant other cry? Sadly. If you could make your lips bigger, would you? Maybe just a teeeeny bit. Are you one to sneak food into movie theaters? Yep. Fuck them prices. Are you prone to illness? Definitely not. What races do you usually date? History says Caucasian, but I have no actual preference. I'll date any race. What’s your cup size? C. Ever flirted with a teacher? Yikes, no thanks. Who was the main cook of your Thanksgiving meal last year? My older sister made the most stuff. Have you ever been dumped really harshly? Well, considering it literally traumatized me... Do you have any ex’s you can’t stand anymore? No. Are you more of a phone or a computer person? Computer, definitely. When was the last time you made a sandwich? What did you put on it? Yesterday for lunch. Ham, American cheese, and mustard. Have you ever made friends with someone that you didn’t expect to get along with? Yeah. Do you own any accessories with your name on? No. What brand of eyeliner do you use? I pay no attention to this. Have you ever been sexually harassed? No. Have you ever sent a naughty text message? Suggestive ones, yes. How long have you had your pets? Roman, around two years. Venus, around three or four years. Who was the last person to tell you that they love you, other than family? Sara. Has one of your friends ever tried to hook you up with someone? Colleen tried obnoxiously hard to push Girt and me together. We all went out to eat pizza once just as friends hanging out, and this bitch prefaced an uncomfortable and nosy question to him with an even more uncomfortable "because I'm trying to get you in her pants...", and that, my friends, was the closest occasion I've ever come to slapping someone right across the face. I looked at her in absolute disgust, and Girt was clearly thinking "what the actual fuck" as well. I do not miss her feral mouth. Are you good at staring contests? No. Eye contact is very difficult for me to maintain. Do you like peanut butter? I love peanut butter. When was the last time you had to present something to your class? In this mandatory but entirely pointless entry class at my last college, we all had to do like this PowerPoint introducing ourselves. I hated it. Who was the last person that told you they missed you? I think my friend Chelsea. What store is your favorite shirt from? It's not a real store, but rather an online brand: Cloak. Mark is one of the owners/creators so I obviously support them intensely. Have you ever fell off your bed while you were sleeping? No, thankfully. Do you have something you’re supposed to tell someone, but you haven’t yet? No. What type of food do you never really eat? Vegetables, oops. Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? No. Do you like going to weddings? Not really, if I'm being honest. I'm only interested in photographing weddings for the only the couple pictures and pay, really. I'm not big on formal events. What’s your favorite flavor squash? I don’t like squash. Do you or anyone in your house have a severe allergy? No. Who was the last guest in your house and what were they staying for? Our landlord/family friend, just to hang out for a little bit and chat with Mom. What fad were you actually into? Hm. What was the last spontaneous thing you did? I'm not a very spontaneous person, so I really don't know.

2019 Upcoming LGBTQA Fiction I’m Excited For!

A new year, a new top nine for women-lead LGBT fiction I’m looking forward to reading! There are, of course, a great many more books than the nine I’ve chosen this time ‘round - I think I will eventually make a part two to this post. I am so, so happy to see that this year we have even more diversity, even more stories about characters from all walks of life, from different parts of the LGBTQA umbrella, and even more LGBT novels. I remember a time where it’d be hard to find more than two YA novels with LGBT themes published in a single year - and now we have so many amazing works coming out!

The themes for 2019 seem to be gay witches, space gays, and explorations of mental illness in the LGBT community. I am so excited to read stories about girls and magic! I am more excited to read stories about girls and love! And I am definitely excited to see multiple books seriously addressing the issues of mental illness in young lesbian and bisexual women - it is a serious topic that has often been glossed over in the past, and to see multiple works that want to tackle these issues, and the issues of toxic relationships, in a healthy way is refreshing. 

Below you’ll find titles, summaries, and goodreads links.

Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up With Me by Mariko Tamaki Laura Dean, the most popular girl in high school, was Frederica Riley's dream girl: charming, confident, and SO cute. There's just one problem: Laura Dean is maybe not the greatest girlfriend. Reeling from her latest break up, Freddy's best friend, Doodle, introduces her to the Seek-Her, a mysterious medium, who leaves Freddy some cryptic parting words: break up with her. But Laura Dean keeps coming back, and as their relationship spirals further out of her control, Freddy has to wonder if it's really Laura Dean that's the problem. Maybe it's Freddy, who is rapidly losing her friends, including Doodle, who needs her now more than ever. Fortunately for Freddy, there are new friends, and the insight of advice columnists like Anna Vice to help her through being a teenager in love.

Starworld by Audrey Coulthurst & Paula Garner Sam Jones and Zoe Miller have one thing in common: they both want an escape from reality. Loner Sam flies under the radar at school and walks on eggshells at home to manage her mom’s obsessive-compulsive disorder, wondering how she can ever leave to pursue her dream of studying aerospace engineering. Popular, people-pleasing Zoe puts up walls so no one can see her true self: the girl who was abandoned as an infant, whose adoptive mother has cancer, and whose disabled brother is being sent away to live in a facility. When an unexpected encounter results in the girls’ exchanging phone numbers, they forge a connection through text messages that expands into a private universe they call Starworld. In Starworld, they find hilarious adventures, kindness and understanding, and the magic of being seen for who they really are. But when Sam’s feelings for Zoe turn into something more, will the universe they’ve built survive the inevitable explosion?

The Lost Coast by Amy Rose Capetta Danny didn't know what she was looking for when she and her mother spread out a map of the United States and Danny put her finger down on Tempest, California. What she finds are the Grays: a group of friends who throw around terms like queer and witch like they're ordinary and everyday, though they feel like an earthquake to Danny. But Danny didn't just find the Grays. They cast a spell that calls her halfway across the country, because she has something they need: she can bring back Imogen, the most powerful of the Grays, missing since the summer night she wandered into the woods alone. But before Danny can find Imogen, she finds a dead boy with a redwood branch through his heart. Something is very wrong amid the trees and fog of the Lost Coast, and whatever it is, it can kill. Lush, eerie, and imaginative, Amy Rose Capetta's tale overflows with the perils and power of discovery — and what it means to find your home, yourself, and your way forward.

Tell Me How You Really Feel by Aminah Mae Safi Sana Khan is a cheerleader and a straight A student. She's the classic (somewhat obnoxious) overachiever determined to win. Rachel Recht is a wannabe director who's obsesssed with movies and ready to make her own masterpiece. As she's casting her senior film project, she knows she's found the perfect lead - Sana. There's only one problem. Rachel hates Sana. Rachel was the first girl Sana ever asked out, but Rachel thought it was a cruel prank and has detested Sana ever since. Told in alternative viewpoints and inspired by classic romantic comedies, this engaging and edgy YA novel follows two strongwilled young women falling for each other despite themselves.

The Meaning of Birds by Jaye Robin Brown Before, Jessica has always struggled with anger issues, but come sophomore year that all changes when Vivi crashes into her life. As their relationship blossoms, Vivi not only helps Jess deal with her pain, she also encourages her to embrace her talent as an artist. And for the first time, it feels like the future is filled with possibilities. After In the midst of senior year, Jess’s perfect world is erased when Vivi suddenly passes away. Reeling from the devastating loss, Jess pushes everyone away, and throws out her plans to go to art school. Because art is Vivi and Vivi is gone forever. Desperate for an escape, Jess gets consumed in her work-study program, letting all of her dreams die. Until she makes an unexpected new friend who shows her a new way to channel her anger, passion, and creativity. Although Jess may never draw again, if she can find a way to heal and room in her heart, she just might be able to forge a new path for herself without Vivi.

The Weight of the Stars by K. Ancrum Ryann Bird dreams of traveling across the stars. But a career in space isn’t an option for a girl who lives in a trailer park on the wrong side of town. So Ryann becomes her circumstances and settles for acting out and skipping school to hang out with her delinquent friends. One day she meets Alexandria: a furious loner who spurns Ryann’s offer of friendship. After a horrific accident leaves Alexandria with a broken arm, the two misfits are brought together despite themselves—and Ryann learns her secret: Alexandria’s mother is an astronaut who volunteered for a one-way trip to the edge of the solar system. Every night without fail, Alexandria waits to catch radio signals from her mother. And its up to Ryann to lift her onto the roof day after day until the silence between them grows into friendship, and eventually something more...   

How It Feels To Float by Helena Fox Biz knows how to float. She has her people, her posse, her mom and the twins. She has Grace. And she has her dad, who tells her about the little kid she was, who loves her so hard, and who shouldn't be here but is. So Biz doesn't tell anyone anything. Not about her dark, runaway thoughts, not about kissing Grace or noticing Jasper, the new boy. And she doesn't tell anyone about her dad. Because her dad died when she was six. And Biz knows how to float, right there on the surface--normal okay regular fine. But after what happens on the beach--first in the ocean, and then in the sand--the tethers that hold Biz steady come undone. Dad disappears, and with him, all comfort. It might be easier, better, sweeter to float all the way away? Or maybe stay a little longer, find her father, bring him back to her. Or maybe--maybe maybe maybe--there's a third way Biz just can't see yet.

Going Off Script by Jen Wilde Seventeen-year-old Bex is thrilled when she gets an internship on her favorite tv show, Silver Falls. Unfortunately, the internship isn't quite what she expected... instead of sitting in a crowded writer's room volleying ideas back and forth, Production Interns are stuck picking up the coffee. Determined to prove her worth as a writer, Bex drafts her own script and shares it with the head writer―who promptly reworks it and passes it off as his own! Bex is understandably furious, yet...maybe this is just how the industry works? But when they rewrite her proudly lesbian character as straight, that's the last straw! It's time for Bex and her crush to fight back.

These Witches Don’t Burn by Isabel Sterling Hannah's a witch, but not the kind you're thinking of. She's the real deal, an Elemental with the power to control fire, earth, water, and air. But even though she lives in Salem, Massachusetts, her magic is a secret she has to keep to herself. If she's ever caught using it in front of a Reg (read: non-witch), she could lose it. For good. So, Hannah spends most of her time avoiding her ex-girlfriend (and fellow Elemental Witch) Veronica, hanging out with her best friend, and working at the Fly by Night Cauldron selling candles and crystals to tourists, goths, and local Wiccans. But dealing with her ex is the least of Hannah's concerns when a terrifying blood ritual interrupts the end-of-school-year bonfire. Evidence of dark magic begins to appear all over Salem, and Hannah's sure it's the work of a deadly Blood Witch. The issue is, her coven is less than convinced, forcing Hannah to team up with the last person she wants to see: Veronica. While the pair attempt to smoke out the Blood Witch at a house party, Hannah meets Morgan, a cute new ballerina in town. But trying to date amid a supernatural crisis is easier said than done, and Hannah will have to test the limits of her power if she's going to save her coven and get the girl, especially when the attacks on Salem's witches become deadlier by the day.

The Top Twenty Books I Read in 2019

My main takeaways from the past year’s reading:

Sometimes you think something is happening because of magic, but then it turns out to have a non-magical explanation so weird that you find yourself saying, “You know what? I wish faeries or God were responsible for this. I’d honestly feel less disturbed.”

Stop bathing and changing your clothes and shaving for three years, three months, and three days. You’ll find out who your real friends are. I promise you that.

I want more books about bisexual ladies!!! Give them to me!!!

Anyway...

20. The Prodigal Duke by Theresa Romain (2017)

Childhood sweethearts Poppy Hayworth and Leo Billingsley were separated when his older brother, a duke, sent him away to make his fortune. Years later, the duke is dead, a financially successful Leo has come back to England to take his place, and Poppy has become a rope dancer at Vauxhall Gardens after a life-shattering event. New sparks are flying between them, but is love possible when so much else has changed? Leo and Poppy are believable and charming as old friends, Romain makes great use of obscure historical details from the oft-depicted Regency period, and I loved Leo’s difficult but caring elderly uncle.

19. Simple Jess by Pamela Morsi (1996)

Althea Winsloe, a young widow in 1900s Arkansas, has no interest in remarrying, but almost everyone in her small Ozarks community is pressuring her to remarry, and she still needs someone to help farm her land. Enter Jesse Best, a strong young man with cognitive disabilities who’s happy to take on the work. As he makes improvements to her farm and bonds with her three-year-old son, Althea gets to know him better and starts to see him in a new light. This earthy romance could’ve been a disaster, but instead it illustrates how people with disabilities are often...uh...simplified and de-sexualized in a way that denies them autonomy. Morsi has a similarly nuanced take on Althea and Jesse’s community, which is claustrophobic and supportive all at once.

18. Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli (2018)

Outspoken and insecure, bisexual high school senior Leah Burke is having a tough year. Her friend group is in turmoil, her single mom is seriously dating someone, and she’s caught between a sweet boy she’s not sure about and a pretty, perfect straight girl who couldn’t possibly be into her...right??? The sequel to the very cute Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, Leah on the Offbeat pulls a The Godfather: Part II with its messy protagonist, sweetly surprising romance, and masterful comic set piece involving the Atlanta American Girl Doll restaurant.

17. Copper Sun by Sharon M. Draper (2006)

Kidnapped from her home in eighteenth-century Ghana, fifteen-year-old Amari is sold into slavery and winds up on a South Carolina plantation, where she faces terrible cruelty but finds friends in an enslaved cook, her little son, and eventually a sulky white indentured servant around her age. When their master escalates his already-atrocious behavior, the three young people flee south to the Spanish Fort Mose in search of freedom. Draper’s complicated characters, vivid descriptions, and deft handling of heavy subjects makes for top-notch historical YA fiction.

16. A Prince on Paper by Alyssa Cole (2019)

After her controlling politician father was jailed for poisoning a bunch of people in their small, prosperous African country, Nya Jerami gained unprecedented freedom but also became the subject of vicious gossip. Johan von Braustein, the hard-partying stepson of a European monarch, wants to help her, partly because he sympathizes and partly because he has a crush, but she thinks he’s too frivolous and horny (if wildly attractive). After an embarrassing misunderstanding compels them to enter a fake engagement, though, she begins to wonder if there’s more to him. I’m not a huge fan of contemporary romance, but this novel has the perfect combination of heartfelt emotion, delicious melodrama, and adorable fluff. 

15. One Perfect Rose by Mary Jo Putney (1997)

Stephen, the Duke of Ashburton, has always done the proper and responsible thing, but that all changes when he learns that he’s terminally ill. Wandering the countryside in the guise of an ordinary gentleman, he ends up joining an acting troupe and falling in love with Rosalind, the sensible adopted daughter of the two lead actors. Like another Regency romance on this list, this novel celebrates love in many forms: there’s the love story between Stephen and Rosalind, yes, but there’s also Rosalind’s loving relationship with her adopted family, the new bonds she forms with her long-lost blood relatives, the way her two families embrace the increasingly frightened Stephen, and the healing rifts between Stephen and his well-meaning but distant siblings. Stephen’s reconciliation with his mortality is also moving.

14. My One and Only Duke by Grace Burrowes (2018)

Facing a death sentence in Newgate, footman-turned-prosperous banker Quinton Wentworth decides to do one last good thing: marry Jane McGowan, a poor pregnant widow, so she and the baby will be financially set. Then he receives a pardon and a dukedom at the literal last minute, meaning that he and Jane have a more permanent arrangement than either intended. I fell in love with the kind-but-difficult protagonists almost at once, and with Burrowes’s gorgeous prose even faster. 

13. Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell (2013)

It’s 1986, and comics-loving, post-punk-listening, half-Korean Park and bright, weird, constantly bullied Eleanor are just trying to get through high school in their rough Omaha neighborhood. He’s only grudgingly willing to let her share his bus seat at first, but this barely civil acquaintance slowly thaws into friendship and blossoms into love. Far from being the whimsical eighties-nostalgia-fest I expected, this is a bittersweet love story about two isolated young people who find love, belonging, and a chance for self-expression with each other in an often-hostile environment (a small miracle pre-Internet).

12. Shrill by Lindy West (2016)

In this memoir, Lindy West talks about the difficulties of being a fat woman, the thankless task of being vocally less-than-enthused about rape jokes, the joys of moving past self-doubt, and the very real possibility that Little John from Disney’s Robin Hood was played by “bear actor” Baloo, among other subjects. I was having a hard time during my last semester of law school this past spring, and this book’s giddy humor and inspiring messages really helped me in my hour of need.

11. Seduction: Sex, Lies, and Stardom in Howard Hughes's Hollywood by Karina Longworth (2018)

In 1925, very young businessman Howard Hughes breezed into Hollywood with nothing but tons of family wealth, a soon-to-be-divorced wife, and a simple dream: make movies about fast planes and big bosoms. He got increasingly weird and reactionary over the next thirty years, then retired from public life. More a history of 1920s-1950s Hollywood than a biography, this book has the same sharp writing and in-depth film analysis that makes me love Longworth’s podcast You Must Remember This.

10. The Beguiled by Thomas Cullinan (1966)

In Civil-War-era Virginia, iron-willed Martha Farnsworth and her nervous younger sister try to run their nearly empty girls’ boarding school within earshot of a battlefield. When one girl finds Union soldier John McBurney injured in the woods, she brings him back to the house, where he exploits every conflict and secret among the eight girls and women (five students, two sisters, and one enslaved cook). Charming and manipulative, he nevertheless finds himself in over his head. Cullinan makes great use of the eight POVs and the deliciously claustrophobic setting; it’s fascinating to watch the power dynamics and allegiances shift from scene to scene.

9. A Gentleman Never Keeps Score by Cat Sebastian (2018)

Reserved tavern keeper Sam Fox wants to help out his brother’s sweetheart by finding and destroying a nude portrait she once sat for; disgraced gentleman Hartley Sedgwick isn’t sure what he wants after having his life ruined twice over, but he happened to inherit his house from the man who commissioned the painting...plus he’s not exactly reluctant to assist kind, handsome Sam in his quest. I wrote about this heart-melting romance two times last year; suffice it to say that it’s not only one of the best Regencies I’ve ever read, but also possibly the best romance I’ve ever read about the creation of a found family.

8. Frog Music by Emma Donoghue (2014)

Blanche Beunon, a French-born burlesque dancer in 1876 San Francisco, has a lot going on: her mooching boyfriend has turned on her, her sick baby is missing, and her cross-dressing, frog-hunting friend Jenny Bonnet was just shot dead right next to her. In the middle of a heat wave, a smallpox epidemic, and a little bit of mob violence, she must locate her son and solve Jenny’s murder. This is a glorious work of historical fiction; you can see, hear, smell, and feel the chaotic world of 1870s San Francisco, plus Blanche’s character arc is amazing.

7. The Patrick Melrose novels (Never Mind, Bad News, Some Hope, Mother’s Milk, and At Last) by Edward St. Aubyn (1992, 1992, 1994, 2005, and 2012, respectively)

Born to an embittered English aristocrat and an idealistic American heiress, Patrick Melrose lives through his father’s sadistic abuse and his mother’s willful blindness (Never Mind),  does a truly staggering amount of drugs in early adulthood (Bad News), and makes a good-faith effort at leading a normal life (Some Hope). Years later, the life he’s built with his wife and two sons is threatened by his alcoholism and reemerging resentment of his mother (Mother’s Milk), but there may be a chance to salvage something (At Last). Despite the suffering and cruelty on display, these novels were the farthest thing from a dismaying experience, thanks to the sharp characterization, grim humor, and great sense of setting. Also, I love little Robert Melrose, an anxious eldest child after my own heart. 

6. The Perilous Gard by Elizabeth Marie Pope (1974)

In 1550s England, no-nonsense Kate Sutton is exiled to the Perilous Gard, a remote castle occupied by suspicious characters, including the lord’s guilt-ridden younger brother Christopher. Troubled by the holes she sees in the story of the tragedy that haunts him, she does some problem-solving and ends up in a world of weird shit. Cleverly plotted, deliciously spooky, and featuring an all-time-great heroine, this book was an absolute treat. The beautiful Richard Cuffari illustrations in my edition didn’t hurt, either.

5. An Unconditional Freedom by Alyssa Cole (2019)

Daniel Cumberland, a free black man from New England traumatized from being sold into slavery, and Janeta Sanchez, a mixed-race Cuban-Floridian lady from a white Confederate family, have been sent on a mission to the Deep South by the Loyal League, a pro-Union spy organization. Initially hostile to everyone (but particularly to somewhat naive Janeta), Daniel warms to his colleague, but will her secrets, his shattered faith in justice, and the various dangers they face prevent them from falling in love? Nah. Alyssa Cole’s historical romances deliver both on the history and the romance, and this is one of her strongest entries.

4. The Lady’s Guide to Celestial Mechanics by Olivia Waite (2019)

Heartbroken by the death of her father and the marriage of her ex-girlfriend, Lucy Muchelney decides she needs a change of scenery and takes a live-in position translating a French astronomy text for Catherine St. Day, the recently widowed Countess of Moth. Catherine, used to putting her interests on hold for an uncaring spouse, is intrigued by this awkward, independent lady. I’ve read f/f romances before, but this sparkling Regency was the first to really blow me away with its fun banter, neat historical details, and perfect sexual tension.

3. The Wager by Donna Jo Napoli (2010)

After losing his entire fortune to a tidal wave, Sicilian nineteen-year-old Don Giovanni de la Fortuna sinks into poverty and near-starvation. Then Devil makes him an offer: all the money he wants for as long as he lives if he doesn’t bathe, cut his hair, shave, or change his clothes for three years, three months, and three days. This fairy-tale retelling is an extraordinarily moving fable about someone who learns to acknowledge his own suffering, recognize it in others, and extend compassion to all. 

2. Vampires in the Lemon Grove by Karen Russell (2013)

In this collection, Russell weaves strange tales of silkworm-women hybrids in Japan, seagulls who collect objects from the past and future, and, yes, vampires in the lemon grove. She also posits the very important question: “What if most (but not all) U.S. presidents were reincarnated as horses in the same stable and had a lot of drama going on?” My favorite stories were “Proving Up” (about a nineteenth-century Nebraska boy who encounters death and horror on the prairie), “The Graveless Doll of Eric Mutis” (about a disadvantaged high school student who discovers an effigy of the even more hapless boy he tormented), and “The Barn at the End of the Term” (the horse-president story). 

1. The Wonder by Emma Donoghue (2016)

Lib Wright, an Englishwoman who has floundered since her days working for Florence Nightingale during the Crimean War, is hired to observe Anna O’Donnell, an eleven-year-old Irish girl famous for not eating for four straight months. With a jaundiced attitude towards the Irish and Catholicism, Lib is confident that she’ll quickly expose Anna as a fraud, but she finds herself liking the girl and getting increasingly drawn into the disturbing mystery of her fast. Like The Perilous Gard, this novel masterfully plays with the possibility of the supernatural, then introduces a technically mundane explanation that’s somehow much more eerie. Donoghue balances the horror and waste that surrounds Anna, though, with the clear, bright prose and the moving relationship that develops between her and Lib, who grows beyond her narrow-mindedness and emotional numbness. I stayed up half the night to finish this novel, which cemented Emma Donoghue’s status as my new favorite author.

This is the entire description, personality, and information on Infernix. It’s long as heck so be warned. Seriously, it’s freakin long. It’s mostly here for my own reference when writing her character or commissioning stuff, but feel free to read if reading about other people’s OCs is your thing <3

One sentence description: Full-time crazy bird lady, part-time reluctant super hero

General

Full Name: Holly Burns Nickname: Nix, Nixy Reason for nickname: Shortened version of her super hero name, Infernix Age: 26 years Sex: Female Gender: Female Place of Birth: United Kingdom Birthday: 20th October Currently living in: Municiberg Species/Race: Human [super] Ethnicity: Caucasian Occupation: Works at a rescue centre for birds given up by their owners Sexual Orientation: Bisexual Social Status: Middle class Relationship Status: In a relationship/married (depending on the timeline) Status: Alive

Appearance

Body Build: Slender, but with chubby hips Height: 5’4” Weight: 120lbs Skin colour: Pale Hair style: Long, comes down to mid-back. Straight with fringe over right side Hair colour: Brown Eye colour: Dark brown Distinguishing Features: Has a tattoo of two feathers in a heart shape on her left collarbone, has single piercing in each ear Preferred Clothing: Casual; jeans and a shirt with either a cartoon character or a bird on it Accessories: Blue topaz earrings, hairclip with topaz and amethyst beads and two phoenix feathers

Supersuit: Over-the-knee boots with a flame colour design, over-the-elbow red gloves, white suit with a yellow belt and a phoenix emblem on the chest, attached to the belt is three large phoenix tail feathers and the same beads as those on her hairclip, her mask is curved up at the ends to imitate eyelashes and goes over her nose like a beak, and is orange with three purple accents in each corner

Likes/Dislikes

Likes: Birds, heights, flying, birds, the sky, nature, birds, cartoons, boats, warm days, night time, socks that have animal faces on them, seafood, birds   Dislikes: Planes (it’s not natural flying!), small spaces, spiders, people who don’t like birds, spicy food, really loud music

Hobbies

Bird watching, reading, going for nature hikes in forests and woodland, watching documentaries, aviculture, collecting precious stones

Habits

Has retained many habits from her time spent as a phoenix. She will spend a lot of time “preening” her hair, she makes clicking noises with her tongue when she is happy, she feels awkward about how to position her hands so she usually keeps them against her chest when standing, and she will make bird-like squawks or chirps when startled or curious. Oh and she hisses (like a swan) when angry.

Strengths/Weaknesses

Strengths: Intelligent, fast healing, able to shapeshift into a phoenix which grants her flight, temporary immortality, and fire powers

Weakness: Water extinguishes her fire, certain soundwaves disrupt her ability to maintain her transformation, if the phoenix is “killed” then she is forced back into her human form which has no other powers and will be physically exhausted, is quite easy to emotionally manipulate

Skills/Abilities

Infernix is a super, and her super power is shapeshifting. She can only shapeshift into one thing, and that is a giant fire bird phoenix. Her phoenix is around 10-15 feet high, depending on the amount of energy she can expend into the transformation. She can maintain this transformation indefinitely, but once she changes back, she is physically exhausted and must rest before being able to transform again. In her fire bird form, Infernix can fly, communicate with any bird species, breathe fire, and is immune to any damage from heat/fire sources. She can also speak and understand English as a phoenix. The true power of the fire bird is to engulf itself in flames and burn everything around it, but she has not achieved this yet. As a phoenix, she is of course immortal. She can feel pain and be injured, and even experience the pain of death, but instead of dying, she simply is forced back into her human self. This only applies to her phoenix form, and as a human she is mortal. She has some hand-to-hand combat skills, but nothing advanced. She is quite intelligent, and because the size of her phoenix makes it impractical for her to transform in crowded cities and built up areas, she is usually the ‘brains’ and takes on the planner/sleuther role for fighting crime. Her phoenix has high raw power though, and is very useful in large-scale supervillain battles. As a human she has no other particular powers, except that she recovers faster than normal from injuries and illnesses.

Fears

Spiders, being trapped (especially underground), anything bad happening to Screech, and she has an irrational fear of one day waking up and not being able to use her powers any more and being trapped in her human body forever

Personality

Very emotionally attentive - feels emotions strongly. This can be good as it means she is very loving and very appreciative of little things, but it also means she is sensitive and easily hurt/angered by other people

Very kind and caring towards every living thing, believes that every life is important no matter what body it’s in. Very empathetic and compassionate

Brave, especially when protecting others

Very maternal towards those she cares about

Stubborn, often believes she is right and can be argumentative. Can find it hard to accept when she’s wrong or know when to stop

A lot of her kindness is aimed at animals and the disadvantaged and vulnerable (e.g. children, the elderly). When dealing with typical, healthy humans she can be selfish as she is not used to socialising, and firmly holds the belief that animals (birds) are purer than people

In her human body she is unsure of herself and doesn’t always feel ‘right’. Only feels ‘normal’ when she is in her phoenix form. She is slowly getting more used to it

Relationships

Family: Not in contact with them, except Gus Burns (Reflux), who is her great uncle. In the future, she has 4 children with Screech: Jay (male, 15), Raven (female, 13), and twins Skyler and Robin - (both male, 5) Love interest: Screech (Boyfriend/husband depending on timelime) Friends/Allies: He-Lectrix, Krushauer, Voyd, Winston Deavor, Brick Enemies: Currently none. Not an enemy, but she’s kinda mad at Edna Mode because she criticized Infernix’s giant phoenix tail feathers on her costume

History

Infernix did not discover her powers until very late compared to other supers. During ages 5-10, she was a ‘normal’ kid. She was bullied heavily at school, because she didn’t make any friends and would spend her playtime looking for birds and feeding them. The other kids would call her ‘bird girl’ and throw things like birdseed at her. At age 11, her emotions were running very high, and she could not shake the feeling that she was in the wrong body. She didn’t feel like a human, she felt like a bird. When she saw birds in the sky she felt jealous of them and felt like she just wanted to join them. When she looked at her arms, she saw unnatural, lanky limbs, and they just didn’t feel right. There should be wings there. These limbs aren’t hers. The human body is so weirdly shaped and hairy. Where were her feathers? She felt they were meant to be there, but they were missing. It was then that her first transformation happened, and it terrified the life out of her. It didn’t last long because she could not sustain it. Not sure what was going on, and thinking it was some kind of fever dream, she tried to pretend it never happened. Until it happened again and again, each time when she felt tremendous energy from her emotions. Eventually she was able to bring it under control, so she could decide exactly when she transformed and when she transformed back. She kept her powers hidden, and her family never knew about them; she was never close to them. Aside from learning to control it, she never really experimented with her powers, so she never achieved her full potential. She was pretty content this way for a while, until she met a man she fell hard for. She was infatuated with him, totally smitten, and he appeared to be the same with her. They had a relationship for two years, during which he subtly destroyed her self-esteem without her realising, and then used that to emotionally manipulate and abuse her. The relationship ended when she discovered he had not only been married the entire time, but had a child too. Heartbroken, she spiraled into depression. She felt totally betrayed by humanity, and felt less connected to her species than ever before. Birds never betrayed her trust like this, they were always loving and never had secret intentions. So, she decided she was going to transform into a phoenix and live in the wild amongst the birds. She lived this way for years, completely missing the events of the first and second Incredibles movies.

After the events of the second movie, the “Wannabes” created their own superhero team. Winston was eager to locate the supers who had survived the Omnidroid. Infernix was listed as one such super, since she had powers she was on the NSA database, but since no one had seen her years, she kind of got forgotten. So the “Wannabes” eventually located her, and tried to convince her to return to society. She refused. But they persisted, and reluctantly she agreed, but on the condition that she can stay a phoenix. She took an immediate interest in Screech because she felt he was a fellow bird-enthusiast, who might possibly understand how she felt. Screech of course marveled at her, because she was a giant bird, but that was strictly it. Not long after, during a super villain fight, the phoenix was ‘killed’ and Infernix was forced back into her human body. It took her a long time to adjust, even things like walking felt weird. But now as a human, she and Screech began to bond better. They would talk about birds, and no one but them understood their crazy passion. At one point, Infernix hit a very low spot, after trying to locate her family and being unable to. She confessed to Screech that she felt she had made a terrible choice in running away and had ruined her life. She felt torn between her two lives, and felt like an outcast among other people, because they never understood her and she never understood them. Screech comforted her and told her that he knew how she felt, that he too had been thought of as ‘weird’ for his owl-like habits and appearance, but that he still had a place here with his new friends, and so did she. From that moment, she and Screech began spending a lot more time together, and eventually he gathered the courage to ask her out on a date. Gradually they fell in love, with Infernix loving Screech for his honesty, passion, and pure intentions, and Screech loving Infernix for her similar passion, and her ability to always be loving and kind to people even after the resentment and bitterness she went through.

Trivia

Thinks popcorn counts as a vegetable

Has several pet birds, including 4 budgies, a cockatiel, a pigeon, and a screech owl. Would like a cockatoo

The feathers on her costume are real phoenix feathers, taken from her phoenix form. They do not give her any special powers and are only for display

Does not actually consider herself a superhero; she’d much rather spend time with her birds than fight crime, and she only does so because she thinks it’s the only reason the “Wannabes” remain her friends and she doesn’t want to lose them

Aside from Screech, the person she gets on most with is Voyd. Voyd’s naturally caring and enthusiastic nature makes her feel comfortable

She doesn’t really interact with the Parr family much and thinks Bob’s name is Bill. She also calls Elastigirl “Elasticalgirl” which mildly annoys Helen sometimes

She gets very offended when people call pigeons ‘rats with wings’

Favourites

Food: Sea food, particularly crab, lobster, scallops, and mussels Colour: Orange Animal: Budgerigar Number: 4 Holiday: Christmas Season: Winter Time of day: Night Genre of music: Cheesy love songs Genre of literature: Non-fiction Genre of shows: Documentary Genre of movies: Horror

Health

General health: Excellent, she heals from illness and injuries quickly Any physical illnesses?: No Any mental illnesses?: BDD Take drugs?: No Smoke?: No

Mental/Emotional State

Archetype: The “Everyman”or the “Lover” Act before thinking/Think before acting?: Think before acting Emotion-wise, generally: Pretty mature, but wears her heart on her sleeve

Conversation

Way of speaking: Has a North-Atlantic accent, is well-spoken except for when she is excited Common conversation starter: “Do you like birds?” Swears?: Occasionally, but only for hyperbole effect, not when angry

Education/Intelligence

Education: Has a degree in ornithology IQ: 140 EQ: 100

Secrets

Before her and Screech were a couple, she had a giant plush owl that she called Screech and cuddled at night pretending it was him

She likes cats but distrusts them, because “they eat birds”

Everything in her apartment is bird-themed; bird plates, bird mugs, bird ornaments, bird plushies, bird cushions, etc.

She cannot talk to/understand birds when not in her phoenix form, but she talks to them as if they understand her anyway

She’s into BDSM, specifically as a dom

She likes drawing and thinks she’s pretty good but she’s actually really, really bad at it

Trying Not To Love You: A Detective Snowing Story

A direct sequel to You Have More Friends Than You Know. Back then, I thought this would stay platonic, but then I fell in love with this ship romantically. @loboselinaistrash sent me a plot twist prompt for this verse about what would happen if Killian pushed them away when he discovered his feelings and this is the result of that.

Trigger warning for gun violence mentioned, but it doesn't go into too much detail of the shooting.

Also on AO3

Killian walked into his house and heard…nothing. That was odd for him, considering he had a rambunctious 3 year old. Sure, his daughter was in the final stages of recovering from her tonsillectomy, but with Emma over pretty much every day, she was definitely on the mend. Snow and David had insisted to come by to help him out and he was grateful for it. They cooked, help make sure his house didn’t fall apart and especially helped make sure that Alice and Emma hadn’t gotten into too much trouble. They especially came in handy when he had been called into work for an emergency, assuring him that they could handle both girls on their own.

 He headed into the kitchen and found David doing the dishes. He was a handsome man, there was no doubting that. Years of working on a farm had shaped his body in ways that probably some couldn’t realize. He still kept in good shape, besides running around as detective, he went to the gym three times a week.

 Killian quickly shook the thoughts out of his head. He had known he was pansexual since he was 13 and he knew that David was bisexual, but the latter was married. The ship had sailed. Besides, there was nothing wrong with just being attracted to a married person physically right? It’s not like he wanted to be with him like that.

 “Hey,” David’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “I made mac and cheese, there’s some leftover in the fridge. Snow made a salad too.”

���You got Emma to eat a salad?”

“Well…no. But Alice ate it.”

Killian laughed. “Good.” He looked around the kitchen. “Where are the girls?”

“Emma passed out on the couch while they were watching Robin Hood, Snow took Alice to get her ready for bed.”

“I think I’ll go see my little girl before I eat.”

 He headed around the corner and lingered in the doorway of Alice’s bedroom. Snow sat in the oversized easy chair he had bought for the room, way back when it had just been a nursery. Alice was snuggled up on her lap as they read from one of her favorite books, Robin Hood. He knew that they had just watched the Disney movie according to David and yet Snow didn’t mind reading the exact same one to his daughter again. She was so patient and loving, she always looked at Alice with this joy in her eyes.

 Snow was just as beautiful as David was handsome. She had once had long black locks, but after Emma was born, she claimed it was too hard to maintain and had a pixie cut ever since. It suited her face and allowed her eyes to shine brighter. She had a gentle voice and a smile that could probably stop any person in their tracks.

 Killian had read about polyamory in college. He knew it was far different than polygamy and worked in different ways. Sometimes, it meant that the couple had an open relationship and could sleep with others if they wanted. Others, it was having a committed relationship that was equal between three people or more. They weren’t as rare as people would think, but they weren’t exactly very public.

 The truth was, Killian knew he was in love with David and Snow. He had been for a while now, but there was no way he could just bring it up. They’d think he was some kind of freak, suggesting that he could join their marriage. Worse, they’d pity him and their friendship would never be the same.

 Yet, it hurt too much to even be in the same room as them. To have them so close, yet so far. He was falling for them more and more by the day. Alice was growing closer to them as well, he knew she looked to Snow like the mother she never had. When she was a baby and Emma was learning how to talk, she had copied her in calling Snow mama. Killian had panicked, but Snow just patiently smiled and explained that she was just copying Emma. Eventually, Alice got used to calling her Auntie Snow.

 No, he couldn’t allow his daughter to get hurt.

 Nor could he allow himself.

 Snow looked up at him and smiled. “Well, look who’s home.”

Alice’s eyes drifted up and she beamed brightly. “Papa!” She jumped off his lap and ran into his outstretched arms.

He swooped her up and cradled the back of her head with his hand, his prosthetic resting on her back. He had lost his hand when he was mugged in high school and over the years, technology had improved and now he had one that worked nearly similar to a real one, though it’d never be completely the same. “Hey there, Starfish,” he whispered. “How was your night?”

“Good. I ate all my dinner.”

Killian couldn’t help but smile at that. She hadn’t been eating much since the surgery. “That’s good to hear.” He kissed her temple.

Snow rose to her feet and walked over to them, kissing Alice’s head. “We’ll get going. Unless you need anything else?”

He cleared his throat, biting down on his lip, hard. “No, we’re um…we’re good. You’ve done enough already.”

“Alright, we’ll see you soon.”

 She walked out of the room, shutting the door behind her. To Killian, that would be the last time he’d see her.

David didn’t think much of it when he didn’t see Killian around the station as much at first. They normally worked similar shifts, “Dad shifts” as Leroy Dreamer called them, which meant they could be home for their kids. Yet, he also knew that their boss wasn’t always as understanding and sometimes they worked the less desirable ones.

 Then Killian stopped responding to their texts or phone calls. When they ran into him at the diner, he left quickly. If Emma asked her parents to let Alice come over, he’d have some excuse or another when David cornered him at the station. Alice was a fairly healthy child, how many doctor appointments could she possibly have?

 “Do you think we did something to offend him?” Snow asked her husband one afternoon when Killian had declined their evite to Emma’s 4th birthday party. It wasn’t like him, at all.

“I don’t think so? I mean, we cleaned his house that night after we took care of the girls. We left him dinner. It’s not like we did anything to piss him off.”

“It’s been a month, I’m just getting worried. This isn’t like him. Is he still working weird shifts?”

“No, Weaver told him he had to cut that out. Now, he just works different positions than me. Like, if I’m doing paperwork, he goes on patrol. Or vice versa. We used to patrol together. If we do have to work together for whatever reason, he won’t talk to me.”

“This is just weird. If we hurt him, I wish he’d just come out and say something about it.”

 Their concern turned to anger when Killian finally returned one of their texts.

 It’s nothing you guys did. I just don’t think that it’s best that we’re friends anymore.

 David and Killian had been best friends for nearly 8 years, he and Snow for 4. He was cutting off their friendship for no reason, for nothing. They decided to give up. If he wanted nothing to do with them, fine. They’d take a hint.

 “Mommy?” Emma asked one afternoon when they were at the party store. “Is Alice coming to my party?”

Snow paused, biting down on her lip. She knew that the girls still saw each other at pre-school and would play. As angry and hurt that she was over Killian’s text, she didn’t want to hurt her daughter. “I don’t think so, sweetheart.”

“But Alice said she wanted to come.”

So, clearly Alice didn’t know what was going on either. “I know, baby, but her daddy said they’re busy that day.” She paused again before crouching down in front of her. “You know, you can still play with Alice at school, but I don’t know if you’ll have playdates anymore.”

“Why not? She’s my best friend!”

The defeat in her daughter’s voice broke her heart even more. “She is. It’s just…I don’t think her daddy wants her coming over anymore. There’s nothing we can do about it.”

“Uncle Killian is acting silly,” Emma said with a huff, crossing her arms over chest.

Snow let out a deep breath and kissed her daughter’s head before standing up. “He is. Hey, how about you help me pick out the favors for the party?”

Killian sat at his desk, knowing that if Weaver walked by, he’d be in trouble. He was using his computer to look at zoo fare and hours for the day of Alice’s birthday. Typically, he’d have a party for her, but that just didn’t seem right this year. She wanted to invite Emma so badly, but that would mean talking to Snow and David, not that they would even want to talk to him. After his text, David had given up trying and was giving him the cold shoulder. Killian didn’t blame him one bit, he was acting like a jerk. He just had to protect Alice’s heart and his own.

 So, he had promised Alice that instead of a party, they’d do something even more fun. She had asked if Emma could come, of course, and it broke his heart to tell her no. He hoped in time that just seeing her friend at school would be enough. It had to be. He figured to make it up to her, he’d take her to the Franklin Park Zoo and New England Aquarium in Boston. They typically visited Massachusetts at least once a year since it was just a 4 hour drive away and those were two of Alice’s favorite places. It’d make a perfect birthday celebration.

 His mind flashed back to Alice and Emma’s first birthdays. They had a combined party for them with all their friends to celebrate making it through that crazy year. Snow’s arm was thrown around Killian, telling him if they could survive this, they could survive everything. They were best friends, they’d raise their girls together.

 So much for that.

 Suddenly, the station’s frequency radio buzzed and he could hear an officer’s voice coming through it. “Detective down, need backup on Mifflin.”

 Killian jumped up with another officer and they rushed to the scene. By the time they got there, the shooter had been taken care of and was in the back of a squad car. Killian walked closer to the sidewalk where he noticed Mayor Mills was in tears. He had never seen her so upset before. She was explaining that there was a sudden break in by her former running mate and that there was a detective that had been the first to respond to the call.

 “Greg would’ve shot me for sure,” Regina sobbed. “If Detective Nolan hadn’t pushed me out of the way, I’d be dead by now.”

 Killian’s blood ran cold and he saw his friend laying on a stretcher, being carried to the ambulance. The man he loved, the man who had been his best friend since their freshmen year of college. The man he had pushed away, to protect his own heart…was now bleeding on a stretcher.

“Someone has to tell his wife,” Weaver was saying to some of the other officers at the scene.

“I’ll do it,” Killian spoke up. “It…it should be me.”

Snow would always remember what she was talking about the moment her husband was shot. She had been so excited that day to hang up pictures of Emperor Penguins that Emma had helped her pick out. They were supposed to be going to an aquarium the following week and it reminded her of Alice, who loved going to those so she could see all the different sea creatures, especially the starfish. She had come to love that little girl and to know that she’d probably never get to hold her again, broke her heart.

 Her door opened and Jasmine, her aide, stepped in…followed by Killian dressed in full uniform.

 “Mary Margaret,” Jasmine said, using the name that only the school ever did (her mother had nicknamed her Snow as a child and it just stuck). “I’m going to take over for a while. You need to go with Detective Rogers.”

 Snow folded her arms over chest and followed him into the hallway.

 “What’s going on? You haven’t spoken to us in two months outside that cryptic text and now you ruin my lesson plan?”

“Snow,” Killian’s voice broke and pain filled his face.

Slowly, she lowered her façade. “What’s going on? Is Alice okay?”

“She’s fine. It’s David.”

 Snow blinked. There was a part of her that had always been preparing for this day. When she had begun dating David, he was a rookie on the force. She had known who he was when she took his name, a police officer. There was a chance of this happening and yet, she never thought it could happen. Not to him. Not when they were happily married, with a nearly 4-year-old.

 “No,” she whispered.

“Snow…”

“NO!” Her voice grew sharper. “You are not doing this Killian…you are not telling me…”

“I don’t know if he’s okay. He reported to Mayor Mills’ house to deal with a break in report…Greg Mendel shot him. He’s being taken to the hospital.”

 Snow’s knees grew weak and she nearly collapsed to the ground. Killian wrapped his arms around her and kept her upright, tears in his own eyes.

 “Come on, I’ll take you to the hospital.”

 Snow was silent the way down to Killian’s car, but clung to him for dear life. For once, the roles were reversed. He had depended on her so many times after Eloise left and for once, he could repay the favor. She didn’t have time to appreciate the irony, all she could think about was her husband.

 The ride to Storybrooke General was just as silent, but she snapped into action as soon as they rushed into the E.R. She ran right up to the desk where Nurse Ratchet sat.

 “My husband, Detective David Nolan was brought in,” she said.

“Have a seat, the doctor will be right with you.”

“I…I can’t take a seat! I need to see my husband! I need to know he’s okay?” Tears streamed down her face. “Did you…did you see him? Is he okay?”

“I’m afraid I can’t give that information, Mrs. Nolan. You’ll have to wait for the doctor, he’s in surgery with your husband right now.”

“Can’t give me that information? I’m his wife!”

“Snow,” Killian rubbed her back. “Come on, it’s not the nurse’s fault. Let’s just go over there.” He turned to the nurse. “Have the doctor come get us as soon as you know anything.”

“Of course,” the nurse said, eyeing Snow who looked on the verge of a breakdown.

 Killian lead Snow to the corner and she began pacing.

 “He’s going to be okay, Snow,” he whispered.

“How can you say that?!?” Snow exploded, ignoring the looks that the people in the waiting room gave her. “He was shot! This wasn’t supposed to happen! He…he promised me it wouldn’t!”

“I know he did.”

“I can’t lose him, Killian.” Her voice broke again. “He’s…he’s everything. To me, to Emma. Oh my God, Emma!” Her eyes shut and she leaned against the wall. “How am I supposed to tell her that her daddy got shot?”

“You won’t.” Killian put his hands on her shoulder. “Because he’s going to make it out of this. We’ll tell Emma and Alice that he just needed to see a doctor, but that he’ll be fine. It won’t be a lie, because he will be. Do you hear me, Snow? You’re not about to become a widow today.”

 He wrapped her back into his arms and as much as she wanted to pull away, she didn’t. She knew that he easily could’ve sent Weaver or Humbert, but he didn’t. He came himself, because he knew she would need him. She wrapped her arms around him and sobbed into his chest for as long as she needed to. Once she calmed down, he got her some water from the nurse’s station and they slid down into chairs. Eventually, the nurse told them where David was having surgery so they could go and wait in the proper waiting area. Killian kept his arm around Snow at all times.

 Three hours after they arrived, Dr. Whale finally came out of the back and lead them into his office. Snow clung to Killian just as tightly, tears in her eyes.

 “The surgery went fine,” Whale said “We got the bullet out of his stomach and we were able to partially remove the other, but he’ll be fine with it inside of his shoulder. He is a very lucky man, if it had gone even just a few inches lower…well, we won’t worry about that.”

“But he’s okay?” Snow asked.

“He’s going to be. He lost a lot of blood and we had to do a transfusion, but he’s out of the woods. He’s stable right now and alert.”

Snow and Killian let out simultaneous breaths of relief. “Will he be able to return to the force?” Killian asked, knowing that’d likely be all David cared about.

“In time. His shoulder is going to require some physical therapy.”

“Good. I know that’ll make him happy.”

“Would you like to see him?”

 Snow nodded and looked to Killian to let him know that he should come with her. Whale lead them down the hall to David’s recovery room. He was hooked up to a few machines and was pale, his shoulder in a sling. Snow bit down on her lip, but moved forward, sitting next to him. She took his hand and felt him squeeze it.

 “You’re okay,” she whispered.

“I’d never leave you,” he hoarsely whispered in return. His eyes flickered open and he saw she had been crying. He attempted to reach up to touch her face, but let out a hiss of pain. They had given him morphine as soon as he asked for it, but it still hurt.

“No, don’t do that.” She took his hand and kissed it. “I’m fine.”

“I must’ve scared the shit out of you.”

“Yeah, you did, but now I know where Emma gets it from.”

He partially smiled and then looked over when he saw Killian lingering in the doorway. “Kian?” The old nickname for his best friend slipped from his lips.

“I responded to the call when it came through that a detective was down.” He looked at his watch. “Look, I should go get the girls from school. I’ll take care of Emma for the night. I’m sure Weaver is going to want to talk to you about what happened, but I’ll keep him off your case until you’re feeling a little better. Mendel’s locked up, so you have nothing to worry about.”

 There were so many things David wanted to say. He wanted to scream at him for shutting them out. He wanted to ask why. Why Killian was doing so much for him after he had chosen to shut them out? But the truth was, the morphine was exhausting him and he just wanted to sleep.

 So, instead, he just whispered, “Thank you.”

That night, Killian distracted the girls. He told Emma that her parents were just handling some adult matters and fixed them some grilled cheese, letting them eat it in front of the T.V. They watched both Lilo and Stich movies, put on a hula show in the living room and for a minute, it was like old times. He hadn’t realized how much he had missed Emma, how much he loved her just as much as he did Alice. Shutting them all out hadn’t healed his heart, it had only hurt it.

 Later on, when he tucked both girls into Alice’s bed, he knew what he had to do. He had to tell Snow and David the truth. Even if it was too late, even if they didn’t feel the same, they deserved that much.

 So, after dropping the girls off the next day and promising Emma that she’d see her mommy that afternoon, he headed to the hospital. David had been moved to a new room to help his recovery and according to Snow, he’d be released within a week. He’d have to rest a lot and he was already starting physical therapy, but was doing well. Weaver had come by to get David’s testimony, but everything after he arrived at the mayors’ house had been a blur. Luckily, Regina had calmed down enough and could give one that would help put Mendel away for a long time.

 “What is going on?” David asked Killian after their half hour of small talk. “Why did you push us away?”

Killian sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “I was trying to protect myself.”

“Protect yourself? From what?”

“I…I’ve had feelings for both of you for some time now. At first I thought it was just because we raised our girls together, but in time I realized I had fallen for you.” He sighed once again. “But you’re already together and I was afraid that telling you would ruin our friendship. In the end, I screwed it up anyway.”

 Snow and David looked at each other, but Killian couldn’t read their faces. He waited for them to laugh or to throw him out of the hospital room. To ban him from ever seeing their daughter again. To his surprise, Snow just smiled.

 “And you don’t think we’ve felt the same?”

Killian did a double take. “You can’t be serious.”

“Killian, we’ve had feelings for you, for years. David learned about polyamory in the same class you did. We just thought if we brought it up…you’d think we were weird and that it was all about sex. So, we settled for being friends.”

“Not having you in our lives these past couple of months proved what we thought,” David said. “Being apart from you hurts.”

Killian felt like he was going to pass out. “I can’t…I can’t believe this is happening.”

“We love you, Kian. Always have, always will. And if you’re willing to give this a shot…so are we.”

“I pushed you two away.”

“And that hurt,” Snow said. “But…we get it and we love you. We don’t want to lose you again.”

 Things didn’t start off right away. David was still in the hospital for another week and Killian was helping Snow with Emma. When David was discharged, Snow and Killian took turns accompanying him to physical therapy. But when he was cleared to at least go on a date, they all went out to dinner. And when he was cleared for sex…his first time back at it was his first time with both Snow and Killian.

 They told the girls six months in, expecting them to be confused, but they were just thrilled. And one year to the day that David had been shot, they all stood on the beach in front of their closest friends and family. They couldn’t legally be married, but in that moment, they agreed to love and care for one another as if they were. That was the day the marriage of two, became three. They’d go onto adopt each other’s girls. Nothing could stop them now.

Some South Park Headcanons I have

(Because I’m falling for the series again!)

The four main characters:

Kyle Broflovski: 

His personality makes it almost impossible for him to let things go, if it means making someone (other than Cartman) upset or sad. He just want as many people as possible to be happy around him, because if they aren’t he feels like he has failed them. 

This comes from his strict upbringing his parents gave him and from studying/knowing everything (including religious various beliefs) thus he lives his life by the golden rule: “Do not do unto others, that you do not want done to you.”

He believes highly in karma as well, especially the Wiccan belief of karma. Where if you do something kind you will be rewarded with 3 times the kindness, but if you do something hurtful you will be punished with 3 times the misfortune.

Despite being Jewish and claiming his pride with the religion, Kyle doesn’t follow any of the practices most Jewish people do. He willingly eats pork and sometimes attends/helps the local Roman Catholic church (but this could be do to the town only having one church and most of his friends go there.)

Unlike Scott, Kyle’s diabetes isn’t as serious and he can get away with eating something with extra sugars in it without going into diabetic shock. Though he does carry emergency insulin just incase.

Kyle is aromantic and bisexual. He doesn’t know how to react to intimacy or pick up clues that someone likes him “in that way”, he just assumes all positive contact with him is platonic in nature. He has to be directly told that someone is in love with him for him to understand why they are being overly nice to him.

Since he is only an 9/10 year old, he isn’t aware full of his own sexuality, thus acts the way he thinks a “normal boy” should behave. Despite constantly giving away that he isn’t “normal” by his own definition.

Also he still has his pet Elephant, but it has been moved to a Zoo for a breeding program. He goes to visit it him occasionally and is a junior Zookeeper at the park. He’s going to be officially hired to work there part-time once he’s in high school.

Stan Marsh:

He still does drink, but not to the extent that his father does nor does he get blackout drunk anymore. He’s cut back a lot thanks to going to AA, but is struggling with the 12 step program do to his father leaving alcohol in his reach, and offering him alcohol. He’s also the kid that pulls drinks for his friends and for parties, as both his father and uncle Jimbo will buy it for him if he asks.

Stan tries his best to be vegetarian but has no problem with eating meat as long as he doesn’t witness the slaughter and preparation of the animal. (Including fish.) Blood makes him squeamish, and he becomes overly emotional when he sees an animal in distress.

Even though Stan is straight, when he’s drunk he’ll sleep with anybody. Drunk Stan also believes Kyle is his boyfriend and will run to him for comfort. This normally confuses Kyle, especially when Stan rejects everything when he is sober. It part of the reason Wendy decided that she is genderfluid and created Wendyl, thinking it will keep Stan from “wandering” away from her.

Stan is very proud of his gay dog Sparky. He willingly takes him to gay pride parades and events, and voices his support for his dog. 

He still owns that poodle he bought, which he found out was a toy poodle.

If his parents didn’t limit Stan to only 2 dogs, he would have a pack of at least 6, that he’d have follow him everywhere. He instantly can become friends with any dog he meets and feels heartbroken when he can’t take them home.

Stan knows different wolf howls and behaviors, he can almost instantly tell you what a wolf or a dog is trying to tell you. If he ever gets lost in the forest around town. he knows how to find the local wolf/coyote pack to keep himself company.

Out of all the boys, Stan would be the first to go feral if they were abandoned by their parents/society.

Kenny McCormick:

Is literally an Elder God, but only is aware of his immortality. He can’t remember what other powers he has or how to activate them. His real father is Cthulhu, and he hates him.

Kenny cares very deeply for his little sister Karen and older brother Kevin. When he has extra money, he will always buy them something nice. Like a new doll for Karen or powdered doughnuts from the convenience store to share with Kevin, because it’s their favorite treat.

Even though he will do nearly anything for money, he draws the line at eating Hot Rods. (Unless of course eating them would bring his family out of poverty or something...)

Kenny is genderfluid and pansexual. Mostly because he doesn’t care who he sleeps with, especially if their is money involved. Also wearing girl clothing occasionally was at first so he could had it down to Karen, but now he’d proudly admits he does like the look and feel of women’s clothing on him.

He has had pet rats, a pet possum, and raccoon. Currently he’s raising a baby flying squirrel he found abandoned in his yard, and nursing a robin who has a broken wing.

He wants to be a veterinarian when he grows up.

Eric Cartman:

Never thinks things through, and always pays for his schemes one way or another.

Still has a horde of stuffies he keeps in his room and sleeps with. Even having tea parties with them, when his “friends” don’t want to play.

Is an asshole towards Kyle, because he has unrequited feelings for him, but doesn’t want Kyle to know. Most of his plans fall through, because he really doesn’t want to hurt or push Kyle away.

Knows that he should watch his weight and eat better, but subconsciously wants to get diabetes from his obesity so he can be just like Kyle and Scott. He hates that they get special attention to their medical problems at school and thus don’t have to participate in certain exercises in gym.

Cartman is sex repulsed, but is secretly gay. He can’t stand the thought of actually having sex with anyone and believes all intimate contact is rape. 

He once broke up Craig and Tweek when he spotted them kissing at Stark’s Pond, then went on a rant of how Craig was taking advantage of his boyfriend, scaring Tweek into thinking he got all of the STDs.

Kyle has force Cartman to clean up “Zaron” all by himself before, after Cartman broke too many rules they came up with after the Stick of Truth was thrown in Stark’s Pond. Although, Cartman made Butters do it for him instead, when Kyle went home.

Four other boys:

Tweek Tweak:

Wasn’t aware his parent’s put meth and other drugs in his coffee to test the blends into being their customers addicted, until Craig discovered what Mr. Tweak was doing. Though Tweek is too scared to report his parents, Craig has used it as a threat to get Tweek expensive things, like videogames and new brand named clothes.

Tweek is a wonderful cook and baker. He wants to change the Tweak Bros. Coffee, into a restaurant kind of like Tim Hortons, where they serve both coffee and homemade food. Though he is too scared to ask his father to put in a proper kitchen in the back of the store, for him to use. Instead he has convinced his mother to sell his famous cupcakes, he bakes at home.

Even without the coffee and drugs, Tweek would still have his twitching tick. It only acts up when he is stressed out. When he is calm, it’s barely noticeable.

Before he bought Stripe #4 for Craig, he was terrified of rodents, after he fell in love with Guinea Pigs and occasionally will discuss proper rodent care with Kenny. 

Though now he fears that Craig might eat Stripe one day, do to Guinea Pigs being a delicacy in Peru and not knowing what happened to the other three Guinea Pigs Craig has had before Stripe #4. That’s why Stripe is kept over at his house on weekends and not a Craig’s 24/7.

Tweek has a parrot named “Coffee Crisp”, because it’s his favorite snack and the first words the parrot learned. His parent’s bought Tweek Coffee Crisp, to help keep his paranoia in check. 

Coffee Crisp will repeat goverment conspiracy theories do to that fact Tweek listens to them on the radio in his room at night. Coffee Crisp also knows the name of over 150 different types of coffee related products.

Craig gave Tweek a hand knitted Chullo and shall that matched his own, but in green, for his birthday. Tweek is afraid he will ruin them if he wears them, so he only wore the outfit for a day before permanently hanging it up in his closet.

Tweek was questioning his sexuality, but has always been gay. He was just too paranoid about other things to focus long enough to realize this.

Craig Tucker:

Although he behaves like he doesn’t give a shit about anyone or anything, he cares deeply on the inside for his friends. He believes showing emotion is weakness and prefers to internalize everything.

He has broken down in front of only two people ever in his life. The first being Clyde after Strip #2 had died, and the second being Tweek.

Craig is aware he is adopted and his native homeland is in Peru. He’s half white and half Peruvian native, and was sent to the US for adoption after people started trying to worship him as the Guinea God.

He’s also aware that he is a god and has god-like abilities. He just doesn’t like to use them and prefers to live a “normal” mortal life. He is aware of Kenny being an Elder God and his immortality. He’s willing to teach Kenny how to be responsible with his powers if he ever find out how to use them.

Craig has eaten Cavy and knows how to make traditional Peruvian dishes that use it, do to being a deity in his homeland. He likes it on occasion, but would never eat a Guinea Pig that he intends to keep as a pet and has buried his previous Guinea Pigs in the back garden of his home. He even had little funerals for them where his friends attended.

Craig likes to knit and will spend hours in his room listening to music and knitting. He hides this from his dad, because it’s not a “manly” hobby. Though every christmas he gives his family handmade sweaters, scarves, mittens, and socks, as gifts.

He doesn’t like coffee like Tweek, but his favorite drink is French Vanilla Cappuccinos. Which he has with whipped cream added, do to his sweet tooth.

Craig can’t dance, but tries to at parties and has fun regardless at his failed attempts. It makes Tweek laugh anyway.

Finally like Tweek’s twitching, flipping people off is a tick Craig had developed. Do to internalizing all of his thoughts and feelings, he automatically flips the bird when he feels upset or angry over someone or thing.

Clyde Donovan

Is just as pervy as Kenny, but is straight. 

He has problems with over expressing his emotions and is always crying about something. He uses Craig as his emotional support constantly, and sometimes will sit eating ice cream and watching romance movies alone.

He is embarrassed by his colostomy bag and only his friends (and Mr. Macky) know about it. He has one do to surviving rectal cancer when he was five.

He wants to own his own mexican themed restaurant when he is older or a Taco Bell. He was very disappointed when the government canceled building a giant Taco Bell during the events of the Stick of Truth.

His favorite Raisins girl is Lexus and always request her to be his host when he eats there. He wants to ask her out, but is too scared she will reject him.

When the kids play “The Kingdom of Zaron” now, Clyde remains as a separate third faction and the main “antagonist” of the game, when the humans and elves aren’t fighting each other. He rules over all the kids that want to be “monsters” or non-human or non-elf. Humans and elves can join his side if they proved to be “evil” enough.

Clyde has worn women's clothing for fun before. He likes flowy skirts and dresses. He wants to go to prom one day in a dress and maybe convince his future wife to let him wear the bride’s gown to their wedding.

Whenever he hears that Tweek is having a “backing meltdown” he gets excited, since Tweek makes too much and usually shares by giving him three boxes of baking. He hides this from his dad who want him to be careful of his weight.

Token Black:

Likes to buy expensive things for Nicole and his friends. He has no idea the value of money and genuinely gets confused when his friend say they or their parents can’t afford something.

Kenny McCormick creeps him out, and he thinks his family just chooses to live in a garbage dump. Though he does get along with Karen McCormick and had bought her lunch a few times, since he thinks it’s cruel for her parents to not give her money or food for school.

He is the second person Clyde will run to when he is upset, though unlike Craig, he dosen’t really know how to react or comfort Clyde. He normally just stands there with Clyde crying in his shoulder, awkwardly patting his back saying “there, there...” until Clyde feels better.

Contrary to belief (and Cartman) Token doesn’t like listening to Beyonce or hip hop type music. He actually likes listening to old folk music and polkas. 

Weird Al Yankovic is his favorite entertainer and “Just Eat it” is his favorite song by him.

Token sometimes says racist things against his white friends by accident. After which he profusely apologizes if he catches himself or someone calls him out on it.

He rather play chess than play football or basketball.

10 Q's Tag, tagged by @boy-king-stories !

1. Why did you start a writerblr? I wanted to get in touch with more of the writing community, and make friends as well as get more eyes on my work.

2. When did you start your first wip? Uh Like in middle school, I guess. It was basically a Dragon Ball Z fanfiction, but it was fairly long for an 8th grader writing in a notebook. After that I wrote about two "novels" a year until I graduated high school. After that I got """""serious"""""""""" lol

3. Is there a book that inspires you? Villains by Necessity by Eve Forward was one of the first books that I read where I was like, "I want to write stories that are as fun as this one," and I actually felt like I could. Other books were okay but had parts that weren't really my thing-- as much as I liked them and loved to read-- but I loved Villains start to finish. Making a Literary Life by Carolyn See. If you are a young writer, definitely buy or borrow this one. It's not just a "how to write" book-- it's a "how to life like a writer, i.e., AS FABULOUSLY AS POSSIBLE" book. Reading it always gives me hope and inspiration. Authors whose writing is pretty/funny/good: C S Pacat Robin Hobb, especially in the first three books of the Farseer/ROTE series UGH those descriptions I just wanna eat them up Mark Lawrence Terry Pratchett

4. Do you already have birthdays for your OCs? The vast majority of them don't. Sometimes I make one up randomly, but I'm not super versed in star signs so I just end up going "I feel like this person was born in the spring/heat of summer/coldest part of winter" etc.

5. How does the political system work in your world? In Order of the Wolfshead, it works the same as ours, with the exception of Order Law which only applies to cryptids and is pretty unfair. If you fuck up too many times or do something that puts humans in danger, somebody comes to kill you.

6. Any Laws of Physics in your world? ... Yes?

7. Tell us your OCs’ backstory, but badly. France dirt fancy vampires lol what are gender politics wait a minute you can't say "neither" hey where are you going fashion fashion FASHION sadness

8. Do you like using music or nothing at all when writing? I used to only be able to listen to white noise-- I couldn't have any distraction at all-- but these days I listen to a tried and true playlist on Pandora, all songs that I know already. The "musicals" playlist and the "let's try something new" playlist are no-go for writing, though.

9. What would your OC's usernames be in any social media? Ashley has a couple accounts under "PiiinkParty" Mika has every social media available, usually his username is Ringlight. Wyatt had a facebook under his real name that he updated once with a picture of him drinking a beer and flipping off the camera when he was fifteen. Leon doesn't know or care what a social media is, and Ama's off the grid, so he stays away from phones and computers. No use showing up on insta if no one's supposed to know you exist.

10. Would you let any of your OCs have a lava lamp Ashley has one in her room, but she hasn't plugged it in for like a year. Mika sneers at it every time he sees it and keeps threatening to break it. Leon won't sell them in his shop because they really aren't worth anything, but he has some fond memories of dim, smoky rooms with beaded curtains and lava lamps. QUESTIONS FOR YOU: 1. How would your character make a simple sandwich? And how about a deluxe one? 2. Does your world have atheists? How are they treated? 3. Do you have any characters that hands down, no argument, totally and completely loathe camping/the outdoors? 4. Your main character can go to any national park or historical attraction in the continental US (sorry, it HAS to be the US. My meme, my rules. You can't go the eiffel tower. throw a rock at the French) where would they go? Why? 5. You have two sentences to end your WiP right where it is. What do you write? 6. Why did you start writing? 7. What are your family and friends' reactions to your hobby/livelihood/obsession as a writer? 8. How are trans people treated in your world, and by your characters? Nonbinary? Asexual? Pansexual? Bisexual? 9. Which one of your WiPs is "the one that got away"-- the story that you really want to write and you know it's gonna be awesome but you haven't been able to make it work yet? 10. Your character is a pro wrestler. What's their gimmick and what song do they come to the ring to? I've been away so long that I have no idea how many people have done this already. If you follow me and like my questions, TAKE THE MEME AND RUN.

Stone Cold | october.

university au + platonic + romantic + angst, teamiplier + jack

sequel to: Story of Another Us | also on ao3 | previous chapter

Bella’s song choice: Crybaby by Melanie Martinez

“Why is it so hard to find something decent?” exclaimed my friend, Aria Mercer. Well, I wouldn’t exactly call her a ‘friend.’ More like, ‘I know you well enough to go dress shopping with you, but not enough to tell you my deepest secret.’

We had been going to different clothing stores for a majority of the afternoon. Typically, I couldn’t stay out too long due to sensory overload and panic attacks, but I figured I could pop a Xanax I had secretly stashed away a few months prior. I didn’t like having to take medication on a constant basis, only when I really needed it.

Aria and I were both going to homecoming, and we were lacking in the fancy dress department. One thing we had in common besides the facts that we were both Mexican and from the same home town, was that we were terrible at shopping for clothes. Usually, our other friend (or ‘former classmate’ for me), Sophie Jensen, would accompany us to things like this, but she sat this one out. I knew exactly why, and I didn’t really miss her.

“I know,” I replied, mindlessly shifting through the racks. “I hate too many patterns. Too many sequins, too many colors! Where’s all the black?”

“Ah, you feel me,” Aria said. “I just need a little black dress and I’m good to go.”

“Ooh, speaking of…” I spotted an ashy black-grey color in the rack and grabbed it. I pulled out a black halter top dress with a simple rhinestone pattern at the waist. “¿Que opinas?”

Aria’s eyes looked up and down at the article of clothing. “If you don’t get that dress, I will.”

I smiled and then went to try it on. I had managed to talk Jack into an all black attire. It was the only color I was comfortable in (apart from my hair; black and faded pink ombre) and he felt like it would hint at what was going on on his channel.

The dress went down to my knees, and the skirt was nice and flowy when I twirled. It had enough neck space to where I could pair it with a choker. I definitely wasn’t going to find a better dress solely because I was stubborn and I wanted to get home as soon as possible.

Once I got out of the dressing room, I found Aria coming out of one of the stalls. She was wearing a short, tight, black dress with long lace sleeves. Now, I actually had to stop and stare for a second because damn.

“What do you think?” she asked, practically calling me out on my gaping.

“I-It’s nice,” I said in what I thought was a casual way. “It’ll knock ‘em dead.”

“Really?” Her eyes lit up, but she quickly went timid. “I mean… I lowkey want to grab someone’s attention. Kinda wanna tease them, y’know?”

My heart started to race. Oh god, where was this going?

“C-Can I ask who?” It came out before I could control it.

“Just my ex,” Aria said, sighing. “It’s kinda stupid because like, it’s been like almost a year since we broke up and I also haven’t seen him in months.”

I was mostly relieved, but slightly disappointed.

“Well… have you talked to him lately?” This felt a little personal all of a sudden. I didn’t realize I was on this level with Aria. Then again, I did check her out without even thinking about it.

“No, that’s why it seems dumb,” she explained. “And he’s only going to be here for the weekend, anyway.” Her shoulders slumped as she went back into the stall.

“Pues… compralo de todos modos,” I told her. “Se te mira bien. Do it for yourself. If your ex notices, then good. If he doesn’t, then you’ll still look good, and he’ll be missing out!” And honestly, if I was tipsy and confident at homecoming, I would probably end up being the one taking her home.

She came out of the stall in her regular clothes, dress in hand, and a smile on her face. “You’re right. I’m gonna do it.”

~

When I was back home, looking at my dress option, I wondered. If Aria was trying to capture her ex’s attention, could I do the same? Could I try to grab Mark’s attention? Show him how hot I am and how I’m not his anymore.

I nearly laughed at that thought. Me, Bella Santiago, trying to grab attention? Even worse, trying to get attention from the person who didn’t love me anymore? How unrealistic could I be?

This really was high school. I hated it. Even as an adult, you could still get hung up over your ex and still pine after them. However, if you’re like me, you’ll go through extreme lengths to avoid your ex. Dropping out of YTU was one of those lengths. Taking a hiatus from social media was another. Avoiding homecoming at all costs would be another length, but I made a promise to Jack.

Needless to say, this was going to be difficult. I had to map out the YTU courtyard and plot out escape routes in case I was too close to Mark. I had to find out what kind of drinks would be served so I could forget the crowds of people surrounding me. I had to know who was going to be there so I could figure out who to avoid. It was irrational and insane, but I had to plan everything out.

I had to tell all of this to Jack so he could help me rationalize it, but the month was hectic for him. He was making videos left and right, focusing on the “Antisepticeye” hype. He had much to do with Robin over Skype, which meant that he was spending nights on campus. That also meant he wasn’t here to make sure I ate or slept or actually lived.

I was okay with it. I was okay with eating half a granola bar for breakfast and the other half for dinner. I was practically used to sleeping less than three hours a night, only to sleep through the rest of the following day after taking Jack to school. I didn’t want to bother him with my personal problems, especially while he was so busy. Don’t get me wrong, I liked having him here and it felt good to have a roommate again, I just couldn’t burden him.

In the meantime, I was pacing around my apartment. I had my sad playlist on blast, but I wasn’t crying or lying on the floor. I kept singing and pacing, and then when that wasn’t enough, I went to my keyboard. I attempted to play Stone Cold but 1) I hadn’t played it since I filmed it for my channel and 2) the lyrics were too damn real for me to sing out loud. “I was your amber but now she’s your shade of gold.” Ouch.

Before I knew it, I was walking to the bathroom. Not my en suite bathroom, but Jack’s. I stood at the doorway and stared at the floor. My fingers ran over my sweater sleeve, then over my upper thighs. As I remembered what happened here three months prior, I was almost relieved that the scars weren’t on obvious places, apart from the ones on my wrists. It was easier to hide this from Jack. I didn’t have the heart to tell him what I had done.

I stepped inside and sat down on the floor, bringing my knees to my chest. My breathing was strangely steady, given that I was sitting on what could have been my deathbed.

Who would have been the one to find me, had my neighbor not heard me fall and then call 911? Would it have been that neighbor? Would it have been Mark when he had returned the key to my apartment? How would my audience have found out? Would there have been a funeral? No one would have shown up, except maybe Jack.

I couldn’t leave him. Sure, Jack had plenty of other friends, but I felt guilty having to leave him. I couldn’t tell him that I tried to kill myself. Mark hadn’t told him either, which I was semi-thankful for. What would Jack say if he knew?

He’s the only person who was still in my life. That was both sad and comforting. He was my friend, but how long would it be before he grew tired of me? There had to be a point where he couldn’t handle my depressed ass anymore. Surely he was only my friend because I didn’t have any other person in my life.

The only way I knew how to distract myself from these thoughts was through makeup. Better yet, I went back to my room and set up my camera and lights. Then I grabbed various makeup products from my bathroom. It was October, so what was the only seasonally appropriate thing to film?

“Hey it’s Bella. Today, I’m going to try to do some sort of Halloween makeup,” I explained. “Um, I’m not sure what the fuck I’m gonna do… Maybe something simple like… Harley Quinn.” As soon as I said it, that’s what I wanted to do. “Yeah, that’ll work. Let’s do it!”

Since I hadn’t prepared ahead of time, I improvised with face makeup. Normally I would put a lot of thought into every product prior to filming, but I was trying to create a distraction for myself, and my mind was too foggy to think about anything else.

I used a light concealer in the place of foundation, I didn’t really bother with contouring or highlight. I used glitter shadows for my eyes, which made red and blue glitter fly all over the place.

“Go nuts with Halloween looks, guys,” I said as I dragged the colors past my eyes. “I’m using glittery eye shadow because I’m a slut for glitter. Put your own spin on things. That’s the beauty of makeup.”

At one point I was just getting messy. It was almost obvious that I was being reluctant. Therefore, I felt the need to explain myself.

“I know it seems like I’m jumping the bandwagon,” I said, “but to be honest, I’m not feeling one hundred percent today. I mean, I probably haven’t felt one hundred percent in a while. There’s various reasons behind it… it’s just one of those moods, y’know? Anyway, today was particularly shitty, and this was the first thing that came to me to distract myself. I just sat down and filmed without even thinking about it. Like, I know when I watch this back, I’m gonna think of better alternatives to the products I’m using and things I could have said better, but… Oh well.”

One thing I was somewhat known for was ranting while doing my makeup. I’ve talked about LGBT+ rights, bisexual pride, and plenty of other things while maintaining a sharp wing. For some reason, it was very shocking to the Internet (and by that I mean, mostly men) that I, a makeup artist, was so educated on things going on in the world. I suppose that was because plenty of beauty gurus didn’t speak of things like that on their channels, and most people expected a review/demo of the latest beauty products instead of a lecture on why stereotypes are absolutely terrible.

“You know what,” I said in thought, “let’s talk about that. Let’s talk about those moods. For me personally, it feels more like a mindset than a mood at the moment. I don’t know. I don’t want anyone to worry though - I’m still seeing my therapist, and my friend Jack moved in with me for the semester. I’m not alone, and this is probably just a bad day or something. I’ve been told that talking it out would be helpful, so I’m just telling you guys that I don’t-slash-didn’t feel like being a person today.”

I sighed and put down my blush. Then I grabbed my dipbrow and angled brush and began to fill in my eyebrows.

“Like, I wish I had advice to give,” I continued. “I feel like I’m stuck… Um, okay, I guess talking it out is good. Yes, yeah, that’s a good idea. Anything you got on your chest, let it out in the comments. There’s always gonna be someone there to talk to you. Whatever we’ve got going on in our lives, we’ll get through it together.”

I finished off the look with a bright red liquid lipstick that I then smudged with the back of my hand. Then I put my long hair in two high ponytails, and that’s when I noticed how much my roots were showing.

“Could’ve done a wig,” I said, tightening the tails. “But my hair has some color in it already. And I made this video completely unprepared. And, yes I’m aware I need to dye my hair again. Oh well.”

~

After posting that tutorial, I was practically spammed with ideas for more costumes and well wishes from my followers. I even got some Twitter DM’s from other vloggers, which was shocking to say the least. Why me?

“Hey! Wishing you all the best! You’re a strong person, and you’re loved by many!” -Pamela Horton

“Hiiii, just letting you know I saw your Harley Quinn tutorial and that I think you’re so brave and strong for sharing your emotions and your story with everyone! I’d love to sit down and chat someday!” -Suzy Berhow

“Hey, I deal with anxiety a lot too, I know where you’re coming from! I think you’re really amazing and strong, and I’d love to talk or even collab with you one day!” -Kathleen Fuentes

And even more from other people I secretly looked up to. It was funny that a few months prior, I published a video talking about my coming out process and my anxiety disorder, but my impromptu Harley Quinn tutorial is the one that got a lot of attention. I didn’t really know how to feel about it.

Besides that, I felt inspired and distracted by the amount of Halloween requests. I got superheroes, video game characters, and classic costumes. There was only one, however, that stuck with me, and it was a partner costume. I wanted to do this right, so I had to make several online orders, all rushed delivery. I also had to make emergency trips to Sephora and Ulta, but in the end, we had everything together.

“Hey, it’s Bella!” I greeted to my camera. “Today, I have my friend Jack here, and we’re going to turn into the brother and sister from Melanie Martinez’s ‘Dollhouse’ music video! We’ll be going over hair, makeup, and costumes. And, uh, I’ll link where we got everything in the description.”

“We,” Jack repeated, sounding amused.

I rolled my eyes and smiled. “Where I got everything. Anyway, let’s get started!”

“I’m excited,” Jack said as I gathered the first few items.

“I’m gonna take off your eyebrows.”

“Oh…”

I looked at him, amused by his reaction. I was already feeling confident about this video.

Using a gluestick, some foundation, and some powder, I managed to cover up a majority of Jack’s eyebrows. He was amazed at the result, and he also laughed at how funny he looked in the viewfinder.

“Oh wait,” I said in realization. “You have a beard! You’re supposed to look like a porcelain doll!”

“I can be a doll with a beard!” he argued.

We shared a look for a few seconds before I rolled my eyes and continued with my work. I applied a very pale, full coverage foundation to make it look smooth and flawless. Then I drew on his new eyebrows with a pencil, much thinner and more doll-like. That alone made Jack look like a completely different person.

“Who even are you?” I wondered. “What have I done?”

“So this is what I look like with normal eyebrows,” Jack said.

I continued on with his face, contouring his face and applying blush. It was coming together nicely.

“Have you ever listened to Melanie Martinez?” I asked him after a while.

“Yeah, you showed my ‘Crybaby,’” he replied. “The whole album, not just the song.”

“Which song is your favorite?”

“Hmm…” Jack went silent for a second before singing out, “It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to!”

“Oh my god, same! That song is my life! So is ‘Crybaby!’ And ‘Dollhouse!’ And ‘Sippy Cup!’”

“The whole album is your life.”

I finished up with his face, and then things got a little difficult. See, Jack has sensitive eyes, and he wasn’t used to the pains of makeup. It took a good ten minutes to apply white eyeliner to his waterline. Adding false lashes was even harder because he kept blinking and squeezing his eyes shut. After getting them properly glued on, I styled his hair. A side part and some gel put the whole look together.

“Okay, so wait until I’m done with my makeup, and then we’ll put on the costumes,” I told him once I was finished.

My look was a bit more complicated. It was a cut crease eye look with a whole lot of glitter. I had to draw my lips a certain way, and add freckles to my face. Then I had to put my hair into tight curls and add a ridiculously large white bow on top.

The costumes were the icing on the cake. For Jack, he had a white button up, black suspenders, a black bowtie, and black dress pants and shoes. I wore a pink sailor dress, knee high socks, and black and white oxford shoes.

Then I set up the camera and lights facing a wall in the living room so I could get full body shots. Jack stood against the wall, hands in his pockets.

“Keep your face blank,” I told him. “Channel your inner angsty teen.”

He pretty much scowled. I made the same face when it came to my solo shots. Then we stood next to each other, hoping that we looked cute, but creepy.

“We look so fucking cool,” Jack said after a while. “I can’t believe you knew how to do all this. Actually, I can, ‘cause you’re Bella.”

I chuckled, but I did appreciate his words. I couldn’t ever leave him.

_______

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