Eric and Donna’s Wedding Fiasco Meta (Part 1)
Eric and Donna were both having reservations about their wedding in the final episodes of season 6. Eric is having stress dreams, he couldn’t enjoy his Bachelor party because he was thinking about her giving up college all night, Donna is anxiously asking Kitty about cold feet at her wedding dress fitting, they were both late to the rehearsal dinner, and Donna had her packed suitcase in the back of her car. At the end of the episode when he comes back she admits, “I had a bad feeling too.” But I think Donna’s was just cold feet - pretty normal. Eric’s concerns, obviously, were real.
Her purchase of the trailer is what started to really freak him out. It was so opposite to everything he thought she wanted (and he turned out to be right about that), and I think he knew in his heart that the humdrum life they were building in Point Place would be enough for him, but not enough for Donna. Remember that she was also talking about forgoing college and just being a full-time DJ at WFPP - a decision that also seemed to leave Eric puzzled/concerned. Donna throwing out her dreams of leaving Point Place and going to college is what drove his insecurities, and it’s ultimately why he doesn’t show up the night before the wedding - to protect Donna, and what he thinks is best for her. He knows this isn’t really what she wants because he knows her better than anyone - but he hasn’t been able to get her to admit it (he did try - when they tour the trailer he asked her ‘Is this really what we want? What you want?’).
Their friends know this because Eric’s been sharing his fears with them, and they try to explain it to Donna. Fez says,
“Eric was afraid getting married and staying here was a mistake [puts on the stupid helmet]. You know, because you would be giving up your dream of traveling the world and becoming a ball breaking feminist.”
And later at the water tower, Hyde tells her,
“You know, Forman was tryin’ to do the right thing. He just did it in the wrong way.”
So I think Eric’s motivations are clear - to viewers, his friends, and by the end of the episode to Donna as well. One hopes they had a longer conversation about this off-screen after they reconciled - although it seems like maybe they didn’t because in S7xE1 Eric says, “Look I think we need to talk about us. Since the matrimonial incident, uh, I mean we’ve seen each other but we haven’t really talked about anything.” And then Donna says she likes not talking about their relationship anymore. 😫
Interestingly, on my most recent rewatch I noticed that Eric sort of does a similar thing in season 8 when he’s in Africa. Donna describes his break-up letter this way:
“It wasn’t really that big of a surprise. Eric said that ever since he left for Africa he felt like our lives were drifting apart. So he decided, for the both of us, that we should move on. So... I guess we’re movin’ on.”
Once again, he made a decision that affected both of them without her (ditto when he went to Africa in the first place), but I believe he had her best interests at mind - in this case, he didn’t want her putting her life on hold and waiting for him, but he knew she’d never initiate that kind of break herself. He does what he thinks is best for her, even if it breaks both of their hearts.
I think Donna genuinely hates that he does this kind of thing - it’s terrible communication, breaks trust, not to mention it’s very ‘I’m the man and the man knows best’, etc - but like Hyde, she knows Eric to his core and knows that he is trying to do the right thing but just going about it in the wrong way. She knows he has a good heart. Decades later in That ‘90s Show, she tells their daughter that is why she always came back to him and they stayed together for all of these years. It’s why she kisses him in the finale. Etc.
Part Two here
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