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sirjustice1114 · 3 years

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Credit card reader smartphones images

Tank immersed in stagnant water half way in a tank, when heap in such tanks makes alternator generators dude, like in a dug big quarry u do the boom process next to down water level bro

https://www.cgafrica.com/gallery/typical-south-african-police-car

https://www.legit.ng/1213194-south-african-man-hendrick-chebanga-wows-social-media-handmade-sports-car-photos.html

Ng’ani ng’icho nadi gi wang moner ka ng’a moneno thel nyako mosegombo, same to a woman with male one dude. Be energetic and futuristic not at that point only kinda dude

Buy ticket as in the link below or introduced in every nation where their aint touts, but tickets bought on ya phone with receipt information of the car u want as u see it approaching as they can have wifi to know which at where with seat occupancy to place your bookings or go the city way where not as the mobile payed one, where belongs 4 that buses all but 4 the general 1 away from phone all matatus numbers can be in that gadget as below with WiFi showing location and occupancy to book but this at the end of the day the owner of the van is given her share minus tax to build the city as they can confirm via receipts dropped at the entrance door by the passenger to the driver

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=london+bus+ticketing+images&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi1-KOfiJPtAhUwVBUIHa9rDxgQjJkEegQIChAB&biw=1280&bih=882

In the office nowadays it is solved like in the bank, we got reserved seats 4 those who care of the next person who sat on and same with all life concepts as with daily credit pay. U get to that office provided not smelling people recognize and forgo that sit and sit on general seat every1 seats on dude as u care not or love humanity or have been via a lot dude as in the link below

https://www.airarabia.com/en/reserve-your-preferred-seat

https://www.google.com/search?q=whichita+transit+bus+ticket+images&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwiUzeOwipPtAhULShoKHTz0BUoQ2-cCegQIABAA&oq=whichita+transit+bus+ticket+images&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQA1CDd1j_4wFg_-UBaABwAHgAgAHwAogB4jGSAQkwLjEzLjEzLjOYAQCgAQGqAQtnd3Mtd2l6LWltZ8ABAQ&sclient=img&ei=Rr24X5SSDouUabzol9AE&bih=882&biw=1280&client=firefox-b-d

https://www.mobiletransaction.org/us/best-credit-card-reader-for-android/

https://www.123rf.com/photo_142084430_stock-vector-receipt-for-smartphone-screen-pay-tax-online-receipt-business-card-for-mobile-app-design-mobile-bank.html

https://www.equisys.com/blog/reconciling-credit-card-statements

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=smartphone+public+receipt+printing+machine+images&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwji9_WpnpPtAhWHRhUIHe-WCUMQjJkEegQIChAB&biw=1280&bih=882

The drone control monitor esp 4 the military tiny bomb drones can harbor the battery free technology as goes the touch temperature way, where the next enemy can identify ya if one as their radar can read waves used to direct the drone on air and even locate the tiny drone and overwhelm you, so u can hide your tiny drones on crevices and on top of buildings, when u stop holding the monitor control tool so they know not where u r and vice vice as they can as well have detective mechanism to detect LCD screen and more used within that interface even from drone mounted with the same fly up high, having the detector looking down to even detect ya clothes, blood components and even guns as much as shoes and bombs/bullets, so be ware as u got the same need to have radar sensor to sense the radar as well as they sense yours and their sent drone and if it goes that way ad-infinitum then 1 who listens not needs to be annihilated like the Kikuyus cause if not they will continue that way ad-infinitum not listening. Some times the drone control monitor has a remote as it, itself can fly, when detected to fly it away using the remote by u power off ya remote dude, so not be caught dude

https://www.defenseworld.net/news/25645/Russia_Develops_Radar_to_Detect_Miniature_Drones

https://securityaffairs.co/wordpress/43274/security/black-hornet-military-nano-drone.html

https://web.facebook.com/wichitatransit/?rf=161420490554142&_rdc=1&_rdr

With like the foreign drone detective radars fold the photo into 2 halves and place under like heap of kale in upper tank or on open ground with grass when car tires all round the heap and find anything to chop to make ya radar too, respecting all veggies, fruits, leaves or berries theorem of being placed in sand or in boxes either rotten, raw, cooked or ripe and acid being added to water and all placed in such acid and even fruit seeds and of veggies and even all scrap metal when u have such next dude and boom ya radar and most also made on big tanks like tip of the bottom parts inside soil or on water body shallow shore water or just in pool with low water level maintaining the above protocols dude. The above ticketing reduces hooliganism associated with such people operating the same and with police as witnessed in many African nations dude

They think they will be granted longevity is they mistreat people or if have much kids, the truth is, if resources are slim as per your number, God cant grant u longevity as their will be more people lest your are few in number

Winter drones or cold days drones need not to have the hanging propellers on top as always in the case with many drones, in fact the propeller can be 1 big 1 hidden like with a computer fan to add effectiveness and beauty dude as in the link below

https://www.shutterstock.com/search/cpu+fan

https://www.asme.org/topics-resources/content/handheld-dronut-brings-drones-indoors

https://www.trendhunter.com/trends/nano-tornado

https://www.coolthings.com/sprite-drone/

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/598767712937316126/

https://www.commercialdroneprofessional.com/drone-delivery-canada-confirms-healthcare-focused-agreement-dsv-canada/

Duluth has line of weakness and many in any world big water bodies as even on shore like seas and oceans, deploy military radar watch on such lands as many now have know to make nuclear bombs and can detonate those lands to capsize 4 water to fill the empty voids as valleys as it keeps on moving to kill people all around such low lands and destroy much properties as can be the agenda of many people refusing to get it their lands are poor as compared to a certain point as it got large water down pour in-case the same is done to kill all in such low lands to reduce the population or champion the agendas as said b4 dude

Your smartphone can contain your pulse rate and temperature detector and even of alcohol so that if u have it its know behind ya consent or u knowing to trace ya GPS as where u r dude when the combination gotten as few people have likewise the same dude

Using the step on or sit on panels to generate electric power b4 stepping up the power can use the vacuum flask technology where u place heated water inside or that flask has an automated stopper to let out gas as water boils using a coil placed at the back inside of the flask where such as well is an automated response where if temperature reduces to a certain degree it switches on automatically to some set minutes to heat back the water again to a desired temperature b4 the stopper open up or not to release the air bro as in the links below, USES the very very stima that has being magnified to heat the flask dude, a phenomenon worth noting dude like along time steam engine operated dude

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=big+vacuum+flask+images&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjEyun3lJPtAhURUxUIHeIQBeYQjJkEegQIChAB&biw=1280&bih=882

https://www.google.com/search?q=amazon+pressure+cookers+images&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwicveT5lJPtAhVM0RoKHf91CK0Q2-cCegQIABAA&oq=amazon+pressure+cookers+images&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQAzoGCAAQBxAeOgIIADoECAAQQ1DV7wtYrasMYKqyDGgBcAB4AIAB6QeIAfllkgEPMC4xLjIuMi40LjcuNi4xmAEAoAEBqgELZ3dzLXdpei1pbWfAAQE&sclient=img&ei=W8i4X9yjKsyia__roegK&bih=882&biw=1280&client=firefox-b-d

https://www.amazon.com/Miniature-Voltage-Transformer-Inverter-Generator/dp/B078SWVGXT

https://www.amazon.in/eHUB-0-9V-5V-Converter-Module-Output/dp/B07FXR6T4M/ref=pd_sbs_147_9?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B07FXR6T4M&pd_rd_r=919ebf4b-6fa3-4d77-b984-2ffe2c0d321e&pd_rd_w=08Td9&pd_rd_wg=dPJOZ&pf_rd_p=758bfbc8-a8f2-4456-bf65-ae5d502eac06&pf_rd_r=APQ5P0DM860BRTPC64V1&psc=1&refRID=APQ5P0DM860BRTPC64V1

https://www.amazon.in/Robotbanao-3-0-40V-1-5-35V-Converter-Multicolour/dp/B07KS4562W/ref=pd_sbs_147_16?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B07KS4562W&pd_rd_r=919ebf4b-6fa3-4d77-b984-2ffe2c0d321e&pd_rd_w=08Td9&pd_rd_wg=dPJOZ&pf_rd_p=758bfbc8-a8f2-4456-bf65-ae5d502eac06&pf_rd_r=APQ5P0DM860BRTPC64V1&psc=1&refRID=APQ5P0DM860BRTPC64V1

The radar as above detect a bulb inside gas or the heated gas cylinder gas contents as either any such heated when cold air blow lifts the cylinder upwards dude and that's it, so think twice as another day in paradise with you, Kill me kill you philosophy 4 the hooligans if u fathom not the reality and refuse to relent not or subdue to one above ya or ya equal. The Ninja Mind NM dude

Diamond ice made much when few sample brought close to kale in tank placed half way in the ground then u chop wood soaked in cooked cabbage water or more as detailed above or just the folded photo inside glass container or in the banner illuminating all sides as with coin or angle to try with any chop dude and with many cooper wires made when placed closed to kale in same tank as above and that one even in water or in side hole made big basement within the factory house basement as in its walls dude as explained earlier bro. Still fail to see what am doing, thinking its Zero work so still disturb me and wants my food as always and with ya silly investigation. U have not stopped dude with all i have said that we are not equal as my mind super cedes yours as if it were so u could have written the same well a head of me in ya own created a/c b4 announcing it us not saying your r the 1 telling me, yet this i had said b4 and now it years past bro. Stop and live ya own life bro, stop cashing into other men affairs dude. Mr Hindu be warned dude and Kisii arresting me kinda, next time, with my hate 4 ya, not a slap but a bullet will be on ya face and Mr white man on his chest as i escort him to the police post, legs on a lever as i hurl him not calling the corpse to take him or if they relent not to the morgue to confirm the truth they had know a lot past but not yet dude as in the link below, in Kenya people transporting timber on roads to reduce friction and the timber being scratched dude, to affirm my hate 4 ya, you luo blooded of knowing much esp women, without such as above, your land can be overtaken, not wanting to be ahead of men thinking another technology cant crop same as those who knows not how to play PS4 and those who knows how to play the same. Same with Wifi drone, they overwhelm ya not women thing as in the bible even if u r rich, Security fast as they monitor people good in such PS5 or 4 games to annihilated them not us knowing cause can guard the nation and those good in computers even if u love food and women better you than that who eats less and know shit regarding playing such games and with high vision or sight degree to monitor and view the same laid on screen signals as in the in below

https://www.dean.ngo/dean/news/working-education-kenya/

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sirjustice1113 · 3 years

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Bicycle way dude

Tank immersed in stagnant water half way in a tank, when heap in such tanks makes alternator generators dude, like in a dug big quarry u do the boom process next to down water level bro

https://www.cgafrica.com/gallery/typical-south-african-police-car

https://www.legit.ng/1213194-south-african-man-hendrick-chebanga-wows-social-media-handmade-sports-car-photos.html

Ng’ani ng’icho nadi gi wang moner ka ng’a moneno thel nyako mosegombo, same to a woman with male one dude. Be energetic and futuristic not at that point only kinda dude

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=london+bus+ticketing+images&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi1-KOfiJPtAhUwVBUIHa9rDxgQjJkEegQIChAB&biw=1280&bih=882

https://www.airarabia.com/en/reserve-your-preferred-seat

https://www.defenseworld.net/news/25645/Russia_Develops_Radar_to_Detect_Miniature_Drones

https://securityaffairs.co/wordpress/43274/security/black-hornet-military-nano-drone.html

https://web.facebook.com/wichitatransit/?rf=161420490554142&_rdc=1&_rdr

https://www.shutterstock.com/search/cpu+fan

https://www.asme.org/topics-resources/content/handheld-dronut-brings-drones-indoors

https://www.trendhunter.com/trends/nano-tornado

https://www.coolthings.com/sprite-drone/

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/598767712937316126/

https://www.commercialdroneprofessional.com/drone-delivery-canada-confirms-healthcare-focused-agreement-dsv-canada/

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=big+vacuum+flask+images&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjEyun3lJPtAhURUxUIHeIQBeYQjJkEegQIChAB&biw=1280&bih=882

https://www.amazon.com/Miniature-Voltage-Transformer-Inverter-Generator/dp/B078SWVGXT

https://www.dean.ngo/dean/news/working-education-kenya/

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sirjustice1112 · 3 years

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AG generators

Tank immersed in stagnant water half way in a tank, when heap in such tanks makes alternator generators dude, like in a dug big quarry u do the boom process next to down water level bro

https://www.cgafrica.com/gallery/typical-south-african-police-car

https://www.legit.ng/1213194-south-african-man-hendrick-chebanga-wows-social-media-handmade-sports-car-photos.html

Ng’ani ng’icho nadi gi wang moner ka ng’a moneno thel nyako mosegombo, same to a woman with male one dude. Be energetic and futuristic not at that point only kinda dude

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=london+bus+ticketing+images&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi1-KOfiJPtAhUwVBUIHa9rDxgQjJkEegQIChAB&biw=1280&bih=882

https://www.airarabia.com/en/reserve-your-preferred-seat

https://www.defenseworld.net/news/25645/Russia_Develops_Radar_to_Detect_Miniature_Drones

https://securityaffairs.co/wordpress/43274/security/black-hornet-military-nano-drone.html

https://web.facebook.com/wichitatransit/?rf=161420490554142&_rdc=1&_rdr

https://www.shutterstock.com/search/cpu+fan

https://www.asme.org/topics-resources/content/handheld-dronut-brings-drones-indoors

https://www.trendhunter.com/trends/nano-tornado

https://www.coolthings.com/sprite-drone/

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/598767712937316126/

https://www.commercialdroneprofessional.com/drone-delivery-canada-confirms-healthcare-focused-agreement-dsv-canada/

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=big+vacuum+flask+images&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjEyun3lJPtAhURUxUIHeIQBeYQjJkEegQIChAB&biw=1280&bih=882

https://www.amazon.com/Miniature-Voltage-Transformer-Inverter-Generator/dp/B078SWVGXT

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tikkisaram · 4 years

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John Keats — Intentionally Boring?

There are many poets out there whose work can only be characterised as bad.1 There are others whose poems do not even afford the amusement of comically poor writing — poets who force us to label them boring. This latter situation — arising from a vice of incompetence, one too marked to be excused but not drastic enough to create hilarity — is seemingly the more unfortunate for the reader, as it can induce no feeling other than that of lethargy.

And yet reading the poems of John Keats forces us to reexamine our position — for the vast majority of his famous compositions can only be considered boring. But how can a poet of his stature write dull and plainly uninteresting verse? How can the opening lines of his odes, instead of inviting and inciting us to read on, usher us on our way to sleepland?

It is not as if he were simply a boring person. He died at the age of twenty-five, having published his first poem at the age of twenty — a remarkably short and thus busy poetic career. His quarter of a century on earth was one full of tragedy — the deaths of his father, mother and brother; his own fatal illness — as well as joy and contentment — his relationship with Fanny Brawne; his many lively friendships; his time in "the pleasantest Town"2 of Winchester. He also proved his ability to write consistently engaging verse with the humorous trifles he included in his letters — poems such as The Devon Maid, Women, Wine, and Snuff and A Song about Myself.

Since it is inconceivable for his poems to represent accidental failures in writing interesting verse, we are left with only one conclusion: that Keats was intentionally boring.

Though this idea solves the issue at hand, it begs an answer to the question: why? What reason could Keats have to choose to write boredom-inducing poems? Because, ultimately, what good is a boring poem?

Queer poet and essayist Joseph Brodsky comes to the rescue to help answer these questions. He tells us that "boredom speaks the language of time, and it is to teach you the most valuable lesson in your life ... – the lesson of your utter insignificance. It is valuable to you, as well as to those you are to rub shoulders with. 'You are finite', time tells you in a voice of boredom, 'and whatever you do is, from my point of view, futile.'"3 And that futile finity is exactly what Keats describes when he writes about melancholy:

She dwells with Beauty – Beauty that must die; And Joy, whose hand is ever at his lips Bidding adieu; and aching Pleasure nigh, Turning to Poison while the bee-mouth sips: 4

Keats employs boredom as a poetic technique because he knows that it can offer us insights into the nature of life. He does what Brodsky tells us we should: "When hit by boredom, go for it. Let yourself be crushed by it; submerge, hit bottom. In general, with things unpleasant, the rule is, the sooner you hit bottom, the faster you surface."3

Boredom teaches us the uncomfortable truth about the insignificance of our fleeting existence, one which we perhaps would rather not think about. But instead of seeking beauty in the material world; instead of writing pretty, forgettable poems about the pretty flowers that will soon wilt away, Keats realises that there is nothing more beautiful than wisdom:

'Beauty is truth, truth beauty,' – that is all Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know. 5

Thus, Keats's seemingly dull verse serves to reveal a beauty that transcends all worldly pleasures.

Keats writes boring poems also as a testament to his awareness of his own insignificance. Instead of engaging in self-indulgent virtuosity, he decides to distance himself and his poems from his subjects – playing himself down to maximise poetic efficiency. The necessity of modesty in a poet was part of his philosophy of composition, which he describes in a letter to his friend J. H. Reynolds: "Poetry should be great & unobtrusive, a thing which enters into one's soul, and does not startle it or amaze it with itself but with its subject. – How beautiful are the retired flowers! how would they lose their beauty were they to throng into the highway crying out, 'admire me I am a violet! dote upon me I am a primrose!'"6 This shift of focus from the poem to its subject is apparent in the opening lines of his Ode to a Grecian Urn:

Thou still unravish'd bride of quietness, Thou foster-child of silence and slow time, Sylvan historian, who canst thus express A flowery tale more sweetly than our rhyme:

Keats's genius lies in his innovative deliberate use of boredom as a poetic technique. In an act of great modesty, he writes restrained poems which force us to think; which impart their ideas by making us experience them. Most of all, Keats teaches us this – whenever a poem is boring, we should ask ourselves the question: what for?

Not to point fingers, but Eiléan Ní Chuilleanáin comes to mind. ↩︎

Tomalin, Claire (ed.). "Poems of John Keats." Penguin Classics. 2009. pp. xiv. ↩︎

Brodsky, Joseph. "In Praise of Boredom." On Grief and Reason. pp. 104-113 ↩︎ ↩︎

Ode to Melancholy, III. ↩︎

Ode on a Grecian Urn, V. ↩︎

Letter to J. H. Reynolds, 3 February 1818. "Poems of John Keats." pp. 96. ↩︎

#blessay #poetry #poetry analysis #john keats

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argentdandelion · 5 years

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Papyrus’s Baby Pictures

Artists featured here: Zarla-s, Insanelyadd, Deadpool4ever, and C-Puff (thefloatingstone).

Papyrus, as previous posts have noted, has a pretty manly face and pseudo-physique compared to Sans’. Yet, in works where Papyrus and Sans weren’t reanimated skeletons frozen at the age of their resurrection, Papyrus must have been a baby at some point.

What Makes Papyrus Distinct, and How to Avoid Sans Convergence

It's pretty common to draw Sans and Papyrus as little kids. This can be more difficult than it sounds, for two very different reasons.

First, since Papyrus's design is often interpreted in a way that makes it look pretty manly and mature, artists have to figure out how to make an aesthetically-appealing "Little Papyrus" design that's still recognizable as him. Related to this, one has to make a Papyrus design that doesn't look too much like Sans.

The reader might wonder: 'How is that possible? They look so distinct!' Well, in a nutshell, it's because making Papyrus younger means making him cuter, and proportion-wise, modern-day Sans is simply cuter than Papyrus. So, if one strays a lot outside canon proportions in the interest of cuteness, baby Papyrus might end up looking like Sans. (This is especially true if one avoids giving little Papyrus long, gibbon-like arms, as he has in canon)

A few things distinguish Papyrus's design from Sans's. Body-wise, he has different jaws, eyes, teeth, and cheekbones/smile bulges. Sans never opens his mouth in-game; as he lacks distinct jaws, some assume his jaws are fused and his smile is more-or-less stuck in place like the Pokémon Glalie. Papyrus, however, has a distinct jaw with distinct teeth. His eyes are tall, narrow, and asymmetrical. Furthermore, the bulges around Papyrus's eyes are often interpreted as zygomatic bones (cheekbones); as ambiguous as it is, Sans lacks similar structures.

General Trends

(Papyrus looks pretty chubby, but he's not. It's just loose clothing.)

Some trends used when adapting Papyrus to a younger version hold true for character design in general.

One example is the changes of the Pokémon Charmander to Charizard, or Gible to Garchomp. The first in the lines are, overall, rounder, shorter, and chubbier, with proportionately bigger eyes and heads, shorter snouts, and taller foreheads. Later ones in the line are pointier (e.g., Garchomp has lots of spikes) and more complicated (e.g., Garchomp's arm-lines, Charizard's horns and bony wings).

Some trends are specific to Papyrus, however. Since Papyrus is a skeleton, he can't really be chubbier-looking as a baby/kid.[1] For that matter, he can't actually look more muscular when grown. He can, however, be dressed in baggier clothes when little, and in an outfit (i.e., his "battle body") that makes him just look muscular later.

Specific Trends

Eyes

Generally, younger characters are cuter. Intuitively, big eyes are cute, so a younger Papyrus's eyes are sometimes made bigger and cutesier. However, it's kept from copying Sans by making the eyes oval-shaped or just thinner than Sans' sockets.

Samples

Zarla's choice is unusual in the sample. Papyrus's actual sockets never change as he ages; rather, he gets little creases below his eyes over time. Allesia's choice1 is unusual in how she makes Papyrus's eyes so much bigger (in her reference sheet for Papyrus aged 9-10): his sockets aren't simply taller or wider, but a completely different shape from adult Papyrus. In fact, it's a similar shape (if smaller) to that of kid Sans (age 11-12) in the same work: the biggest difference is that Papyrus' eyes lack pupils.

Jaws

In human skulls and faces more generally, from babyhood onward the lower jaw (mandible) gets longer and thicker. This is especially true for adult male skulls, which are also fairly squared-off from a frontal view. It's mainly jaw growth which leads to the trend of Papyrus heads getting taller and narrower over time.

When making a baby Papyrus design, it's common for artists to do some of the following: make Papyrus's mandible wider, shorter (in height), have a smaller bottom of the jaw/chin, with shorter, more rounded jaw cutouts behind the teeth (i.e., Zarla and Insanelyadd).

When it comes to more drastic changes, some artists change the very way his jaws articulate. A baby or toddler Papyrus might have a lower jaw not really distinct from the surrounding bone, or a jaw that doesn't fit beneath the cheekbones and temporal processes (a little bridge of bone next to the cheekbones). Some artists even make little Papyrus's teeth rounder (not a human skull trait), remove a gum-line, and give him fewer teeth, such as through an overbite. In this way, little Papyrus can have a completely different tooth style from modern-day Papyrus.

Samples

Deadpool4ever's little Papyrus has a fitted jaw in both the "First Day of Elementary School" comic and "Sick Little Sans" comic, but in Deadpool4ever's comic excerpt of the famous Flowey is Not a Good Life Coach (by unrestedjade), more-or-less modern Papyrus has non-fitted mandibles.

Cheekbones

Papyrus's cheekbones are often one of his distinctive traits, but it's not really babylike. Some artists give him bigger, pointier cheekbones as he gets older. This is pretty realistic: real human skulls do get bigger zygomatic bones (cheekbones) over time.

Samples

Insanelyadd's newborn-Papyrus, Papyrus at Age 3, and more-or-less modern Papyrus are remarkable in that cheekbone size and position aren't linear. Instead, certain parts of it apparently change at different rates over time.

Deadpool4ever's choices are unusual: in this comic on Papyrus's first day of school, toddler Papyrus's cheekbones are big and fairly round, but in a comic excerpt of the famous Flowey is Not a Good Life Coach (by unrestedjade), his cheekbones, if he has any, or indistinguishable from his mandible.

Bonus: Sans’ Pictures

But how would you make baby pictures for Sans?

The trouble with Sans is that he’s already very neotenous. He has a small nose (or rather, nose-hole), a big, rounded skull, short lower jaws, and big eyes, even without artists exaggerating eye size. Making this more complicated is the fact he’s short for a presumed adult and, somehow, chubby-looking for a skeleton. (Probably just his fashion style)

Some, seeing Sans’ big eyes, make them even bigger, or subtly change the shape to be rounder. Others give him a proportionately bigger, rounder head, with a taller forehead. Some figure the lines underneath Sans’ eyes are like tired eye-bags, and so give baby/kid Sans no eye lines. Some make it a matter of expressions, giving Sans a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.

Samples

Zarla takes a unique variant: rather than making baby Sans’s eye-holes any bigger (in absolute or relative terms) she makes the pupils much bigger.

Related Readings

Papyrus is (Maybe) A Manlier Skeleton than Sans

Papyrus is Probably a Better Boyfriend than Sans (especially Part 3)

Tips on Skeleton Design

The author couldn't obtain permission to feature her art in time, but has provided a link to the art used for analysis. ↩︎

#Undertale #Papyrus #Sans #Undertale Character Analysis

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echoesintherainforest-blog · 6 years

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Social Glue—The Wonders of Maya Cement

How could have the Maya have built such beautiful and long-lasting buildings? The answer is cement1.

A Rock Solid Foundation

Arguably one of the only reasons archaeologists and explorers could tell of the Maya’s existence, cement was a huge factor behind the creation of the amazingly beautiful plazas, complexes and state buildings of the ancient Mesoamerican world2.

Cement was created by melting down pieces of limestone in specially-made kilns that could reach remarkably hot temperatures, an effect similar to a modern blast furnace, which allowed the Maya to create hydraulic cement some 1,500 years before the patenting of Portland cement in 19th century England3.

The process for making Maya concrete went like this: on a windless day, a kiln would be assembled from timber and other materials around a fire in a circle of 10 meters in diameter and with a height of 4 meters. A circular shaft would be created in the middle of the kiln, elevated over the ground so that cool air could flow from the outside into the low-pressure of the open shaft, which permitted the fire at the bottom to reach about 1400-1600 degrees Celsius. This was an adequate temperature to facilitate the chemical change needed to turn limestone into a form of cement, called quicklime nowadays. The fire would be allowed to burn for around 48 hours, after which the cement could be yielded and mixed with water for use in various projects, or improved upon further by adding other materials, such as tree sap4, latex, and the juice of morning glory vines5.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsmMi8N9C2s

The process of making Maya cement, shown here by James O’Kon6.

The ability to make this cement was a huge boon for the Maya, as it allowed them to construct towering pyramids of stone that could resist natural and human made disasters and factors alike, such as earthquakes, hurricanes, encroaching jungle growth and trees, fire, and the natural ravages of time itself7. It also allowed for the creation of vast, cutting-edge (for the time, anyway) interconnected roads8 that helped facilitate trade, the transport of goods, and the exchange of ideas9, bridges, and even things such as water reservoirs10 and distinct styles of arches in buildings11.

An example of a Maya _sacbe _or road12.

The fact that many of these beautiful structures are still intact despite being erected in such an unforgiving and harsh environment is a testament to the intelligence, resourcefulness, and architectural and scientific prowess of the Maya. If it were not for cement, much of our understanding of the Maya’s history and sophistication would have been lost, as it has been mainly through their spectacular chiseled words upon cement _stelae, _buildings, and walls that we have uncovered as much as we have. The strength of Maya cement guarantees that these wonderful structures will be around long enough for archaeologists and citizen explorers to delight in even centuries from today.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlsGoNW20r0

Maya quicklime being made13.

Footnotes

O'Kon, James. "Maya Arch." Maya Technology. Accessed July 25, 2018. http://www.theoldexplorer.com/index.php/maya-technology/maya-arch.

** **

SmithsonianNMAI. "Tikal-Plaza-And-North-Acropolis.jpg." Digital image. Living Maya Time. Accessed July 22, 2018. https://maya.nmai.si.edu/resources. ↩︎

History.com Staff. "Maya." History.com. 2009. Accessed July 23, 2018. https://www.history.com/topics/maya. ↩︎

"How Cement Is Made." America's Cement Manufacturers. Accessed July 23, 2018. http://www.cement.org/cement-concrete-applications/how-cement-is-made. ↩︎

Carlsen, William. Jungle of stone : The True Story of Two Men, Their Extraordinary Journey, and the Discovery of the Lost Civilization of the Maya. (New York, NY: William Morrow, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers, 2016), pg 371. ↩︎

User, Super, and James A. O'Kon. "CEMENT." The Old Explorer. Accessed July 23, 2018. http://www.theoldexplorer.com/index.php/maya-technology/cement. ↩︎

"Maya Kiln." YouTube. May 30, 2012. Accessed July 23, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsmMi8N9C2s. ↩︎

"Resource: How Maya and Aztec Buildings Resisted Earthquakes." Maya Buildings That Resisted Earthquakes. February 18, 2018. Accessed July 25, 2018. http://www.mexicolore.co.uk/maya/teachers/resource-maya-buildings-that-resisted-earthquakes. ↩︎

Hirst, K. Kris. "Sacbeob: Part Mythology, Part Causeway, Part Property Line, Part Pilgrimage." ThoughtCo. March 08, 2017. Accessed July 25, 2018. https://www.thoughtco.com/sacbe-the-ancient-maya-road-system-172953. ↩︎

Elizabeth. "The Mayans Built Roads That Rivaled the Romans'." History Things. February 05, 2017. Accessed July 25, 2018. http://historythings.com/mayans-built-roads-rivaled-romans/. ↩︎

Slivka, Kelly. "A Mayan Water System With Lessons for Today." The New York Times. July 16, 2012. Accessed July 25, 2018. https://green.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/07/16/a-mayan-water-system-with-lessons-for-today/. ↩︎

↩︎

Wohl, David. "Sacbe Dzibilchaltun.jpg." Digital image. Wikimedia Commons. January 1, 2002. Accessed July 22, 2018. https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Sacbe_Dzibilchaltun.jpg. ** ** ↩︎

TransAmericasJourney. Https://trans-americas.com/. August 19, 2012. Accessed July 25, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlsGoNW20r0. ** ** ↩︎

#mesoamerica #concrete #kiln #mayan #history

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elizabethjournals · 6 years

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Stress is everywhere, and everyone experiences it. Stress is so common it has become accepted and normal. However, stress in incredibly unhealthy and ought to be taken seriously. One of the most notable and interrelated side effects of stress is anxiety. This post will break down 10 simple ways to manage stress and reduce anxiety. This post may contain affiliate links

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1. Breathe

The first and easiest way to manage stress is to breathe. When you are feeling anxious or stressed, it is super easy to take a moment to do some deep breathing. One of the most beneficial ways to breath when stress is called diaphragmatic (or deep) breathing. Diaphragmatic breathing refers to a type of breathing where the stomach (not the chest) rises when breathing in, and settles when breathing out. Breathing this way stimulates a nerve that, in turn, stimulated the system in your body which relaxes you. Next time you are feeling anxious, take a few moments and take 10 deep breaths.

2. Get Enough Sleep

Believe it or not, all-nighters aren’t all that helpful. When you’re sleep deprived your brain functioning decreases significantly, and your metabolism slows! This is especially important for busy people who feel the need to stay up all night working. Instead of staying up all night working, practice proper time management allowing you to get plenty of sleep at night.

3. Relaxation Techniques

There are dozens of relaxation techniques. One is the diaphragmatic breathing mentioned previously. Another is progressive muscle relaxation or PMR. PMR involves becoming comfortable and slowly relaxing your body one part at a time. This method involves mindfulness, read more here. There are plenty more techniques, but I will only detail one more: meditation. Meditation is not easy at first and requires patience and commitment. It involves being in silence, emptying the mind, and focusing on breathing. If you would like to read more about relaxation techniques check out Help Guide.

4. Identify Triggers

What triggers your stress and anxiety? For me, I become incredibly stressed from parking in unknown, new, or busy places. Since I understand this as a trigger for me, I leave extra early so that I do not feel rushed to park, or I might carpool or walk from further away simply to reduce my anxiety. Knowing what triggers your anxiety can help you to build a plan so that you can better handle similar or repeated situations with less stress.

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5. Know Yourself

One of the most important tips is to know yourself. Understand your anxiety and stress and learn how to cope and manage. If you aren’t aware of what works, anxiety and stress can seem even more overwhelming than it naturally is. Spending time to learn about yourself can make that much of a difference.

6. Practice Self-Care

I know, I know, you are tired of hearing about self-care and all of the ways you can practice it. Instead of going on and on about how to practice self-care or the tools you need to do so, I will simply remind you that self-care is essential for stress management. If you are stressed, simply taking time to take care of yourself can make a significant difference and help you to relax.

7. Manage Your Time

I touched on it earlier, but managing your time properly can also help you to manage your stress and reduce anxiety a ton! A large portion of a persons anxiety and stress comes from deadlines and to-dos. If you manage your time and plan out your to-do lists promptly, you are likely to be ahead of the game and, in turn, less stress out!

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8. Learn to Say No

Sometimes, stress stems from not being able to say no. We become overwhelmingly busy because people ask us to do more than we are capable of and we feel obligated to say yes, or feel rude if we say no. That needs to stop. If you are too busy, you NEED to say no. Saying no when you need to take a moment or focus your attention on a project you have already said yes to, is essential to managing stress.

9. Be Active

Being active is a great way to get out of your head and focus on something that is not stressful. Being active does not have to mean a vigorous workout at the gym. It can simply be taking a walk around the block, walking your dog, some backyard yoga, or it can be a vigorous workout. Create activity that works for you and helps you to empty your mind of all of your stressors.

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10. Create Social Support

Lastly, it is essential to have social support. Social support is not only helpful in reducing stress and anxiety, but it is also essential for daily living. Having a positive social support system is one of the most effective ways of reducing depression and anxiety. A social support system does not have to be massive. Having a few people who truly care about you and support you in your corner is plenty enough!

Now that you have a better idea of how you can reduce your stress and anxiety, pick one of the 10 tips and implement it into your life!

10 Simple Stress Management Tips to Help Reduce Anxiety Stress is everywhere, and everyone experiences it. Stress is so common it has become accepted and normal.

#Anxiety #nervous #reduce stress #strain #stress #stress management #tension #tips #worry

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iamvolonbolon · 3 years

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Merkle Tree

They are a hash based data structure that generalize the concept of a hash list. Each leaf node is a hash of a block of data, and each non-leaf node is a hash of the concatenation of its children. Usually, they are build as binary trees, although thats not a requirement.

With them we can efficiently validate data across a network.

At the most basic level, we can compare two trees for identity by comparing the root. The root is a representation of the whole data set. The change of any single leaf at the bottom bubbles up to the root. This is not only wonderful because it reduces the number of comparisons we need to perform, it is even better because it reduces the amount of data we need to dispatch over a network. Typically 32 bytes, instead of, perhaps, GBs worth of content.

But wait, if all we want is to check the integrity of a potentially huge file, why bother with a tree data structure. We can hash the file, are we are done.

That's correct. If we only want to check the integrity of a data set, a hash is enough. We do build the tree because it is convenient to perform partial verifications. In a peer to peer network, we can verify subsets as we receive them. Even further, we might be interested only in a a subset, and we the tree structure, we can validate the portion we need.

If we receive the root from a trusted source, then we can ask for the pieces from any source. We can later verify the integrity of the whole or a subset later.

Proof of membership

Let's pretend we want to check if D is part of a tree.

First, we need to get the path to the leaf we want to evaluate. Once we have that path, we need to produce a proof. Essentially, a road map to traverse the tree, rebuilding the portions that we need.

Proof

To build up the proof, we can move down from the root, following the path to the leaf, and annotating our journey. We will find three types of nodes.

A leaf

A node in our path

A sibling of a node in our path

A simple algorithm would demand a bitfield to annotate information about the node we are visiting, and a list to save node data that we will need later to compute the tree.

If the node we are visiting is a leaf, we enter a 1 into the bitfield and we add the node to the list

If the node is in our path, we push a 1 to the bitfield, and we calculate its value traversing left and right.

Otherwise we introduce a 0 to our bitfield, and we move back to the parent.

Starting at the root ABCDEEEE, which obviously is in our path, we have:

Bitfield = 0b1 Hashes = []

ABCD is in our path:

Bitfield = 0b11 Hashes = []

AB is not in our path, let's add a zero to the bitfield and save AB to the hashes list

Bitfield = 0b110 Hashes = [`AB`]

Back to ABCD, we traverse to the right. CD is in the path.

Bitfield = 0b1101 Hashes = [`AB`]

Now we are at the leaves level, let's add both to the hashes

Bitfield = 0b110111 Hashes = [`AB`, `C`, `D`]

Since we completed the left branch of the root, we should go right, were we find a node which is not part of our path.

Bitfield = 0b1101110 Hashes = [`AB`, `C`, `D`, `EEEE`]

Membership validation

We have our proof, and we know that, since we have 5 leaves, the height of our tree is four1.

Now we can build a partial tree, and hopefully, find out that the root is the same (and thus, we will verify the integrity of the actual tree, and that the leaf under evaluation is, actually, part of it).

If the bit extracted from the bitfield is 1, and we are not at the leaf level, we append an empty node (which value would be computed later) to the tree. If we found a 1, but we are at the leaves level, we pop the value from the hashes array. If the bit is zero, we also pop the value from the hashes list, and move back to the parent. All the way back until we find a node with a null right node, and then, we traverse that branch. In our case, we will end up with something like this.

And by filling the empty nodes, we end up calculating the root to validate the entire tree.

Use cases

Git use Merkle Trees to check for consistency across multiple repos.

Blockchain also use Merkle Trees to preserve block integrity. Each transaction is hashed, and a tree is computed. Altering a single transaction is unfeasible.

Merkle trees can be used to check for inconsistencies in more than just files and basic data structures like the blockchain. Apache Cassandra and other NoSQL systems use Merkle trees to detect inconsistencies between replicas of entire databases.

We can accommodate five leaves in a tree that will fit 8 leaves when perfectly balanced, and with that many leaves, we will have 15 nodes, and four levels ↩︎

#crypto #basic

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because-its-important · 6 years

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2017: a year of courage 🦄

If 2016 was a year of opening doors, 2017 was a year of walking through them. This year demanded a lot of courage.

First, the fun things!

Programming.

I’ve been talking about this quite a bit already, so I don’t want to linger too much. This was my first year working as a programmer (heyo) and I learned a whole lot very, very quickly. Building a data-heavy webapp for bar associations and their member lawyers from scratch is no joke! I’m also real proud to be capping the year off in the midst of a batch at Recurse Center. About a year ago I kept thinking about how good it would feel to be “ready” for something like RC, and it does, it feels good.

“what are u doing rn?” selfie circa mid May.

Zines and indie book sellers.

I encountered a lot of zines this year, exponentially more than all the years of my life prior. I went to a zine reading, multiple zine fairs (including one I volunteered at), I assembled a zine at the Bushwick Print Lab, I brought friends to Quimby’s. And, ofc, I bought a bunch too.

I purchased all the zines above at Pete’s Mini Zine Fest. From top left to bottom right, they include: a parody science zine about “fracking”; a zine about a woman’s experiences riding the subway when she was pregnant; a zine about the history of animals that have been sent to space; a holographic bookmark that isn’t a zine but reminded me of a femme version of the robot in FLCL; a zine someone made about remembering her recently deceased father and how they’d go mushroom hunting; an art zine full of sketches of demons. I also asked every artist to sign the copy I bought, because I am a huge dork. 🤓

A beautiful zine I found in the library at the Recurse Center. Zines are everywhere! Keep an eye out. 👀

I also spent a lot of time browsing and buying books (often used, sometimes not) from independent bookstores and sellers. I picked up books from BookPeople in Austin, from the Oakland Book Festival, from a library sale in Syracuse, from Unnameable Books in Prospect Heights 1, from Autumn Leaves in Ithaca, from the Verso loft in DUMBO, from Borderlands in the Mission, from Powell’s in Portland. I even scored Invisible Cities and Frankenstein from a stack left outside my neighborhood coffee shop.

These were all purchased for like $3 from a library sale held in the garage of a old fire station in Syracuse, NY. Includes: a book about stream of consciousness novels; a book about how to make poisons written by this dude; a book of poetry about the devil. Must’ve been a real moody day.

Interference Archive and Church Night.

I visited a lot of new places in 2017, so I wanna talk about two places that I found myself coming back to again and again.

I first visited Interference Archive or went to events where they tabled roughly a dozen or so times this year. I remember spending snowy days in winter doing a bit of cataloging for a big archive they’d received of counter culture newspapers from the 70s. I participated in two reading groups hosted by IA, one on different social movements from the 60s to today and another on race and mass incarceration following The New Jim Crow2. Interference Archives annual block party was also killer, with free screen printing, radical button-making, a used book sale 😏, free tamales served out of a trash bag (they were so good!!), and a live Yiddish queer punk band.

I blew up and tied these balloons for IA’s block party all by myself! Very important work!

One of the issues of The Berkeley Barb that I cataloged. I also cataloged about half of The Black Panther newspapers in their collection. You can check out Interference Archive’s catalog here.

I also went to church service four times! 😋 Church Night is a comedy show that features three standup sets, a burlesque show, and a 90s rock sing-a-long, all rolled up into a evangelical sketch. Each service is also topped off by a real-ass sermon, with positive messages that have made me cry multiple times. It is a really perverse good time and the folks who run it are extremely friendly and hardworking. They travel to Brooklyn every couple months or so and are based in Washington DC, so if you near live in either of those areas, I fucken implore you to check them out.

Another great service at Church Night!

Puppet shows and films.

I attended two puppet shows this year, which is two more than any year in adult memory and certainly two more than I could have expected! The first puppet show played after a few live bands on a rooftop in Bushwick on a hot summer night - I drank cold canned beer and graciously accepted when some generous stranger passed around a bowl.

The second puppet show was a performance at a banging housewarming party in a living room in Bed Stuy, and a friend was one of the central performers. At one point during the show an iMac in the living room fell four feet to the hardwood floor below and the audience - a room full of friends and friendly faces - gasped. THE SPECTRE OF FAILURE!3 I thought very loudly in my head while my face contorted into rapt, waiting concern. Of course the show Went On, the moment of danger transformed, transcended. Holy shit! This is real! This is real life! I thought over a swelling-swooning heart, and it set the tone for the best night of my year.

I managed to catch a bunch of rad shorts including the IFC’s showing of Academy Award-nominated animated shorts, Rooftop Films’ non-animated “uncanny” shorts as well as their animation block party, and a round of alternative horror shorts presented by the Bushwick Film Festival. Respectively, my favorite shorts from each of these collections were: Blind Vaysha, about a girl with an eye that sees the past and an eye that sees the future4, See A Dog, Hear A Dog which explores how we train non-humans (particularly 🐶 and 🤖) to respond to us as if they understand us, My Man (octopus) about the stickiness of a toxic relationship (or, from the same night, Pittari, about a v cute demon), and GREAT CHOICE, which is a hilarious horror short about being stuck in an infinitely looping Olive Garden commercial from the 90s.

If you enjoy films and live experiences generally, I can’t recommend Rooftop Films enough. They’re a long-running NYC nonprofit that supports diverse, independent filmmaking and their summer series is truly unique and wonderful; each screening is hosted in a dope outdoor location in NYC and is preceded by a musical act fit to the theme of the film. I saw films on the roof of the Old American Can Factory and backlit by the eponymous sunset of Sunset Park. The ticket-price also includes an open bar after each screening, and you can chat with the folks who worked on the films. These are the kind of events that make living in a city so special, so take a friend, take two, and go!

It was a chilly the night at the Old American Can Factory where we saw Rat Film, a documentary about Baltimore told through the measures taken to control the rat population. Eugene (left) is wearing a towel I bought in LA. Bailey (right) is wearing a NASA sweatshirt.

Big music, living room music, radio music, discos Good and Bad.

Unlike last year, I didn’t go to any music festivals, but I did hit up a couple biggish shows. I saw Chastity Belt at Williamsburg Hall of Music (what a great venue 💚) and Yaeji at Elsewhere.

In a surprise display of social aptitude and luck, I managed to pull together folks from no less than four disparate friend groups to go see Chastity Belt with me in June.

I’ve been getting good at identifying proper communal experiences and boy, AcouticQ really hits the nail on the head. It’s such a friendly, intimate setting that you can’t help but wonder, is this not the perfect what to share tunes about heartache and triumph? If that compelling to you and you’re a good person who enjoys folky music and supporting queer artists, starting following AcoustiQ and hit up one of their events! Bring snacks, bring booze, bring a cash donation. 💵

I saw Julia Weldon first at AcoustiQ in September…

…and then again in November at PIANOS. 😊🎸

I started listened to radio programs - I think perhaps when looking for tunes for my daily bike commute? Anyway, I found myself tuning in pretty regularly to Radio Free Brooklyn. Bushwick Garage is probably my most listened to station, and I haven’t really tried any of the more talk show stuff. I suspect there’s something for everyone, especially if you live in NYC. You can check out their schedule here, though I’ve been relying on their Mixcloud channel for the most part.

Continued to do a fair bit of dancing in 2017 and saw a few new-to-me venues. I’ve decided that I really hate most any dance club on a Friday or Saturday past midnight; the situation nearly always devolves into Basic Dance Beat while straights get sloppy all over the place. There is nothing more distracting and vibe-killing than pretending not to notice some baseball cap bro who keeps desperately dancing at you in a crowded space, especially when you know he’s “working up the courage” to say something that will inevitably be heinously stupid. Like, I did not come here to build empathy for mediocre dudes hoping to ~get lucky~ at the club, I came here to dance myself clean!!! 😤

So when I tell you that I’ve had nothing but positive, glowing experiences the last two times I’ve been to weekend events at Magick City, let me tell you, this is high praise! What a great DIY music venue. The first event I went to there was a record listening party, where a roomful of people laid on blanket on the floor and quietly listened to an album - had a break to talk about it, pee, get another beer - and then listened to another. The second event was a set by these folks in a thick fog with a great light show and yet room to dance and breathe! The drinks were cheap and there was a whole table of delicious free snacks that had been prepared onsite.

youtube

Look at this rad setup by Drippy Eye Projections!

A communal fifth of whiskey left in the bathroom at Magick City. Just in case you needed a lil, y’know? What a phenomenal discotheque!🕺✨

Biking.

Through 2017, biking has been my main form of commuting. I spent winter and spring using Citibike5 until finally buying my own in early June. Deciding to own a bike for the first time in the city, let alone picking what to buy, was a pretty challenging experience. I went with a lightweight matte-black hybrid with an internal hub for its 3 gears.

My bb is decked out with cleated neon-chartreuse pedals, green and yellow spoke beads (not pictured), and a purple-teal bluetooth speaker. 💜💚

And a word, if we might, about my speaker: this speaker is tough as shit! I’ve dropped it off my bike multiple times, and once I looked back only to watch it get run over by a car, twice. It’s also survived rain, sailing, and being dumped roughly into airport bins.6

I have plenty more to say about biking, but to cut to the chase: biking is clearly a superior mode of urban transit if you are able-bodied, have the nerves to deal with cars, and don’t mind arriving at your destination kinda gross. In the last 18 months or so I’ve gone from someone who Never Goes Out to someone who Goes Out More Than Your Average Bear and I’m prepared to credit biking as a major enabler. If you want to learn more about your city, see your friends more often, and make new ones - start biking!

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This is a video I shot while riding my bike home from a 4th of July party. I nearly got nailed with a Roman Candle, lol.

Traveling.

I also did a greater-than-expected bit of traveling again this year, again all within the United States. I went to Austin in April, visited Oakland and Berkeley for the first time in May, visited both Ithaca and Vermont for the first times in July, drove to Kentucky to see the TOTAL SOLAR ECLIPSE with my cousin in August, drove from San Francisco to Los Angeles for Indiecade in October, and capped off with a half-work half-play visit to Portland, OR in November. I suspect this isn’t a sustainable amount of traveling, but it’s incredibly hard to regret - especially when it allows you to see friends who live far away or experience unique bonding moments with friends who live nearby - so who knows what next year will look like.

One of the most special places I’ve been this year was Lothlorien, a student coop at Berkeley where a friend lived in undergrad. It was an inspiring intentional community - so much art on the walls, a tree house with a perfect view of the sunset, a dream library. So magical! 💖

The cabin trip in Vermont was also really special. We did so many appropriate summer camp activities, like sailing, tubing, visiting cows, taking walks under a sky full of stars, building a blanket fort, putting together puzzles, and playing with fire.

We made this at the beginning of the day and boy oh boy did it come in handy for organizing ourselves! And gee, look at how well hydrated we were. 💦🌈💦

Now, the less easy stuff.

Sex.

One of my goals this year was to “learn more about sex.”

me: when you said we were going to be learning about sex, i didn’t realize there’d be so much reading involved, i thought it might be less of a mental and more of a physical edu- also me: lol don’t front

When I first cracked open Bataille’s Erotism: Death and Sensuality, I remember being absolutely floored by how much it was not whatever I had expected it to be - and that that was a helpful starting place. Erotism is an examination of the function of taboos and their sites of transgression, how the act of transgressing is subject to its own social rules and tends to be ritualized7, and how as conscious mortal beings we’re compelled towards moments of transgression because they seem to imitate what we imagine the great continuity of death feels like without having to, y’know, die. I liked his analysis of de Sade’s writing and the irony of sadism - that the promise of transgression is greater self-awareness, but the violence it requires necessarily also erodes that same awareness. I both appreciate and am wary of how aggressively Bataille dislocates sex from a bodily endeavor to a psychological compulsion. He had also some real undercooked shit say about women and was clearly terrified of sex, so I’m kinda disinclined to treat his opinions as functionally valuable to lived experience.

The Persistent Desire, on the other hand, was easily the most personally important book I read this year. It’s an anthology of generations of lesbian femme-butch relationships, told through stories from women’s lives, interviews with queer scholars, and some extremely hot sex poems. My primary inner-dialogue with gender has been “ugh” and “this shit again” and “if I pitch my voice and play Nice Girl this unbearable interaction will be over faster.” I had never spent so much concentrated time thinking about the performance of gendered sexuality in queer relationships, and wow, I have been missing out on some much better thoughts!

Like, Q: Does gender performance ever feel sexy to me, not just hostile? Under what circumstances? A: Yes, but generally only so long as a) the performance is fluid, eg. you’re the boy, I’m the girl, now you’re the girl, now we’re both boys, and b) power, however gendered, doesn’t rest in one place for too long. Gender is fun to play with as long as it feels like playing, where the heteronormative script is really only referenced insofar as it’s being subverted, shredded up by contact with a reality that unequivocally de-legitimizes it.

Like, Q: how much better would my life be if I approached sexual relationships from a place of radical honesty and expected the same from my partners? A: PROBABLY A LOT.

Like, Q: how do I make space in my life to form romantic-sexual relationships with people who aren’t cishet dudes? A: idk bitch, but you’re apparently a pro at lifestyle changes! Keep going to queer events, keep reading, keep processing. I believe in you.

This is a cute fire safety map at the Lesbian Herstory Archives, which I visited for the first time on a very wet snowy day in November. The archives had been mentioned frequently in The Persistent Desire and I was so excited to find that they were still around (44 years!), located in Brooklyn, and having an annual book sale.

Depression, denial, and death.

At one point this year I remember having an entirely normal hang out with my sister and partner in our Bed-Stuy apartment. I turned to the both of them and said, “You know, I think I might be real sad. I think I might depressed.” I wasn’t worried when I said it, though I do remember the words feeling strange. My sister and my partner of 7 years looked at each other, something like ‘Uh, do you want to take this one?’ or ‘Does she really not know?’ and eventually someone said, “Yeah, Nicole, that sounds right.”

If you had told me last year that I’d be spending so much time with Freud and Camus I would have rolled my eyes very, very exaggeratedly.

The most frightening thing about mental unwellness, imo, is that a good personal quality which is otherwise healthy and worth cherishing can become catastrophically distorted. So, say, an extremely deep capacity for enduring pain and discomfort, especially in service of others, becomes proving your worth by how much you’re willing to suffer, how much energy you’re willing to give away without expecting reciprocation. Worse still, let’s say, is being trapped in a cycle of denial about your own nature.

Denial takes lazy, irrational, harmful patterns of thought and elevates them to Gospel. You can’t be a generous and giving person because you can so clearly recall all the moments when you could have given more. You can’t be getting taken advantage of because you obviously would not abide exploitation in your presence. A friend wouldn’t repeatedly use you, to your loss and their gain, so that’s impossible by definition. If what you’re doing was really that painful and exhausting, you would have stopped already. _If you were depressed, you’d know it._8

I took this photo in Austin on a night when I was feeling decidedly not good at all. In fact, I was feeling so not good and so ashamed of not feeling good that I went out and bought The Myth of Sisyphus.

Last month the opiate epidemic rose up and swallowed my estranged uncle. Though we weren’t personally close, I’d spent my childhood within a ten minute walk from his house and had lots of memories of him. Death leaves a vacuum, always. It’s also an effective invitation to re-examine your life and the people in it. My uncle was provided with endless love and support from his family - and yet. Self-delusion sure is captivating.9

This was a year where I decided that I valued truth over self-delusion, and more importantly, a year where I affirmed that decision with concerted effort. It is extraordinarily challenging to reckon with the blind-spots in your perception of reality, especially whenever those blind-spots were constructed By You to cope with past pain and avoid it again in the future. Maybe everyone doesn’t need to do this? Maybe most people live comfortably with the given state of their ego? But internal delusions are a barrier to conscious clarity, and to the extent that living consciously feels the most like Actually Living and not Waiting To Die, I am determined to clean that shit up.

Lessons, imperatives!

So it’s late afternoon on Dec 31st and if this is going to be a 2017 recap, I’m really coming down to the wire. Here are the most important lessons I learned this year.

I luv this demon, because they sure got the right idea. ❤️🖤

AESTHETICS MATTER.

I’ve often caught myself feeling bad for identifying with a community or culture that I didn’t feel like I’d “earned” my place at yet. This happened with biking, it happened with programming, it happened in queer spaces. imo, the best way to handle impostor syndrome is to kill it where it sleeps. I sure am! I am a devious impostor! Let’s see how far I can get before someone reveals me, exiles me! Turns out you can get all the way to Being The Thing, especially if your intentions are true. Your attraction to the thing is the first signal of your belonging, so get busy belonging!

LOVE THYSELF, AND GET GOOD AT IT.

Most of the psychological friction I’ve come up against in my search for The Truth Please has been caused by a very stubborn refusal to see and accurately assess my own self-worth. Very classic, very boring. I have only just begun to internalize what it might mean to love myself, to care for myself with even a little of the generosity and kindness and specificity that I happily devote to other people. The psychic backbending I’ve had to do to accomplish this goes something like, what if we loved ourselves the way we wished someone else would, like, idk, as a joke or something? Wouldn’t that be funny, at least? 🙃

That worked pretty well, but when it didn’t, I used brute willpower: hating yourself is a coward’s game, and whatever I may be able to lie to myself about, I will not pretend that I’m a coward.

Ultimately, though, the best way to learn how to love yourself is to watch how your friends do it and to actively resist the urge to interrupt them.

SPEAK, BITCH 🗯

Earlier this year I was walking with a friend, and I was very ashamed of myself when I told her I was thinking about writing something. I immediately walked it back, waffled, recoiled from myself. She was bewildered. “You should! I feel like you have things to say!” My reaction to this was sharp, panicked fear.

Because she was right. Because self-articulation and knowledge-sharing are fundamental human endeavors and if I think I’m somehow exempt from that, that I somehow uniquely Haven’t Got Anything Worth Saying, then that is delusion. Because if the real thing holding me back is a fear that my skill won’t measure up to the things I want to express, then the brave and honest thing to do is to try anyway.

So when I went to Recurse Center, I started this blog. I named it Because Its Important just so that every time I started doubting myself and asking “Why oh why am I doing this?” I would have the answer right there. 🐙

👋 Thank you for reading! Here is a silly-glasses bathroom selfie.

I read Donna Haraway’s CYBORG MANIFESTO for an outdoor discussion group at Unnameable books this summer. It is so amazing. I could only barely keep pace with it and I can’t wait to read it again after some time. ↩︎

I consistently arrived late, but bearing coffee by way of apology. ☕️🙏 ↩︎

I read Theatre of the Unimpressed, a book recommended to me by a friend after we saw an indie play earlier this year. The book talks a lot about what makes theater captivating, about the necessity of the possibility of failure, about the tendency for people to see see one boring-ass play and decide that they Just Aren’t Into Theater. The play we saw together wasn’t memorable, save for the fact that it was performed in a loft that hosts semi-regular makeout parties, which I’ve attended on half a dozen occasions. They are largely terrible. ↩︎

In one of the scenes Vaysha is courted by suitors, but they appear as child in one eye and an old man in the other. Fucking chilling. ↩︎

I remember a conversation earlier this year where a guy said that he “couldn’t imagine what it takes” to ride a heavy Citibike over a bridge in NYC. “Willpower, mostly” I replied. He ignored me, repeated himself: “Gee, but I just don’t get it!” If someone doesn’t want to understand, they don’t want to understand. ↩︎

You can buy one here. ↩︎

In fact, a taboo ain’t even a taboo if it can’t be transgressed! ↩︎

A possibly less upsetting example of a denial! In September I was walking to brunch with my sister and her boyfriend the morning after a party at my bff's apartment. "Nicole, you really brought the party!" He said to me. My immediate emotional response was anger at how 100% wrong he was. The night before I had brought glowsticks, mini shark toys, and a Gingerhead House kit to the party. I was going to a party that night for which I'd purchased a tank of helium and large tropical balloons. But my desire to argue, my certainty that He Had Erred was complete. I've very rarely experienced moments where my subjective experience is so strongly misaligned with objective reality, but now that I'm in the business of noticing this crap, it happens pretty regularly whenever anyone says anything nice about me, to me. ↩︎

Drugs, too. ↩︎

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masayuki038 · 4 years

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202002 Retrospective

２月振り返り。今月はあっという間だった。

仕事

Sprint と段取り等のマネージメント系タスクとトラブル調査の3つ巴。初の残業アラートが鳴る程バタバタしていた。とはいえ休日は一切仕事してないし、20:00 over になったのは数日なので、まだそこまで厳しい状況ではない。

Sprint はチームメンバにお任せ状態に近い。マネージメント系タスクは、誰かに任せます、と言ってもうまくいく気がしないので、自分で見ていきたい。トラブルは、もともとリスクとして見込んでいて、それなりに手を回していたつもりだったが、諸事情によりうまく調整できずに顕在化してしまった。いつも思うが、開発のリスクマネージメントって本当にうまくいかない…。リスクとして上げたとしても、回避できるかは 50/50 というところ。結局自分で詳細を調べることになり、またトラブルシューティング力が上がった。問題点は見えたし、当リスクを改めてリスクと見るべき、という土台も整ったので、次の手を打っていく。

さらにここにきて COVID-19 で在宅勤務推奨ということになり、その調整も入ってきた。開発作業は比較的在宅でも実施しやすいので、しばらくは在宅で頑張ってみる予定。

生活スタイルの改善

会社まで歩くのは続けているものの、朝ちょっと早かったり、夜遅い時はキャンセルしていたので、フル実行にはいたらず。土日も荒川沿いを1時間程度歩いている。しかし、在宅となると歩く機会は減るだろう。

在宅勤務初心者に絶対に伝えたいことは、急激な運動不足になるのですごい速度で太るということ。私は9年前に初めて在宅勤務して運動しなかったら10kg太りました。外出できないなら自宅でできる運動 #freeletics をやりましょう。こちらの記事で紹介してます https://t.co/y56U1RVd81

— Sho Shimauchi (@shiumachi) March 1, 2020

Freeletics やろうかな。

花粉が飛び交うようになって鼻が腫れてるせいか、ここ3日ほど頭痛があってツラい。頭痛だけでなく、左目の奥がずっと痛い。昨日ずっと寝ていた。そのせいか今日は大分楽になった。花粉の季節に在宅勤務になったのはラッキーかも。

技術

仕事関連で Debezium まわりの記事を読むことが多い。その中で、以下の話が良かった。

Building zero-latency data lake using Change Data Capture

Debezium の差分情報を Hudi に変換する、というところ。これができるのは強い。ただ、Spark が必要なのが惜しい。Spark を使わずにできる方法を探しているところ。Hudi は Flink にも対応させようとしているようなので、そのあたりを見始めている。

[HUDI-184] Integrate Hudi with Apache Flink - ASF JIRA

Truffle+Arrow は Filter をちょっと作ったところで全然触ってない。

OSS

Hudi の件を見ている以外は特に無し。

英語

会社からオンライン学習の案内が来ているものの、時間を作れず始められていない。これも在宅勤務中に何とかしたいところ。

先週から SpeakBuddy を始めてみた。とりあえず一か月やってみようかな、と。

本

(Amazon へのリンクにはアフィリエイトの ID が埋まっているので、気になる方はご注意を)

Design It! ―プログラマーのためのアーキテクティング入門

posted with amachazl at 2020.03.01

Michael Keeling, 島田浩二オライリージャパン売り上げランキング: 6,707

Amazon.co.jpで詳細を見る

今年は月1で技術書を読むことにした。1月の課題図書は『Desgin It!』。「～ It!」の本の中では一番新しく、最も学びが多かった。感想はコチラ。

君がオヤジになる前に

posted with amachazl at 2020.03.01

堀江貴文徳間書店 (2013-07-01) 売り上げランキング: 65,354

Amazon.co.jpで詳細を見る

セールだったので読んでみた。ホリエモンの考え方が詰まった本。思考停止しないっていうのは大事。そしてそれを支える考え方、健康、環境等をどうキープするか。

音楽

Bobby [12 inch Analog]

posted with amazlet at 20.02.02

Lenzman Metah (2019-04-05) 売り上げランキング: 1,081,257

Amazon.co.jpで詳細を見る

先月から引き続き聴いてる。聴いてるうちに、より好きになってきた。

youtube

LuQuS「I'll Need You」。何で知ったのか忘れたけど、やや重たい雰囲気のスローなのが良くて、ほぼ毎日寝る前に聴いてる。

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