#red and blue from untitled
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discord whiteboard doodles with my friend @w1lburrrr
doodles of kinitopet + red and blue from Untitled, and a "chomny kjash crackfic writtne by a;llister"
edit: i just realized that i spelled "massive" wrong :sob:
#art#digital art#red and blue from untitled#untitled#chonny jash#chonny jash mind#chonny jash heart#chonny jash soul#tally hall#kinito fanart#kinitopet fanart#kinitopet#kinito#kinito my beloved
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my favourite faye wei wei paintings
little blue bird from the pillow flew (2020) \\ first i must clean the keys of the piano with milk (2022) \\ the black bells of a distant new mexico (2023) \\ an echo trapped forever (2023) \\ sweet velvet flower there is no time/ I ask to go back I wish you were mine (2021) \\ two butterfly lovers (2021) \\ untitled (2022) \\ nectar for honey (2021) \\ red i (2022) \\ fountain lies the sun (2017)
support this blog
#art#faye wei wei#little blue bird from the pillow flew#first i must clean the keys of the piano with milk#the black bells of a distant new mexico#an echo trapped forever#two butterfly lovers#sweet velvet flower there is no time/ I ask to go back I wish you were mine#untitled#red i#nectar for honey#fountain lies the sun
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alright, here it is: part 3 of the still untitled Room Fic! and boy is it long... this might be as long as parts 1 and 2 put together.
Content warnings for this part: vomit, serious discussion of food issues, internalized ableism, everyone being a little bit dumb
I am not a doctor and my meal plan for Leo is extremely lightly researched (mainly because it's hard to find information that would be helpful in Leo's situation but that isn't highly technical). in the end I went with what I like from a narrative standpoint. if someone starves as long as Leo did please get them to an actual doctor lol.
also I got tired and didn't proofread the last few sections.
just a warning that I'm going on vacation next week and will be out of the country for awhile so don't expect any more for this for quite some time. in the meantime, hope you enjoy this!
and if you're confused, start here!
-----
Leo wakes up.
The room is moving. His head is cradled in someone's lap. There's a furry hand stroking his arm, and a voice hums the notes of a lullaby he hasn't heard since he was a child.
-----
Leo wakes up.
He's lying somewhere soft and blessedly warm. There's a weight across his chest. Someone is chattering in his ear, happy and upbeat, saying something to him about Jupiter Jim on the desert planet Delta-5.
-----
Leo wakes up.
He's still somewhere soft but now it's too hot. He whines and pushes at the things on his chest. Near his ear someone tuts, and then a hand lands on his, giving it a squeeze.
"Nardo, you need to warm up. Don't-"
-----
Leo wakes up, and his eyes open.
"Leo?" comes Raph's voice. Leo blinks to clear his vision, then lets his eyes trail up, to find his big brother bending over him. "You awake for real this time?"
He isn't sure. Raph being here sure feels like a dream.
He lowers his eyes and looks around. He's not home. He doesn't recognize this place at all, actually. But the walls are beige (still unstimulating, but at least not white), the furniture is dark brown, the bed (not a cot) has a blue bedspread, the empty takeout containers on the table have a splash of red. It's not home, but it's not the room, either.
If he were going to dream, surely he'd just picture himself back home.
He blinks back up at Raph, and smiles.
"Wide awake," he says, echoing Raph from before.
Raph bursts into tears, immediately leaning down and wrapping Leo up in one of his signature hugs. For the first time in so many days (longer, longer, Leo can't remember the last time he got a Raph hug like this), Leo feels completely secure, fully enveloped in love and affection, held safe by his big brother where no one can hurt him.
The difference between this moment and the last week and a half is so stark it leaves Leo feeling dizzy. Like he hadn't even realized how scared and lonely and helpless he truly felt until all that pain was taken away. He's safe now. He's okay now. Raph is hugging him.
Leo hates crying in front of people, but even he can't be stoic for this.
"Oh Leo," says Raph softly once he realizes. "It's okay. We got'cha."
Leo sniffs, burying his face in Raph's plastron. He wishes he could hug back, but his limbs feel so heavy, like Donnie swapped them out for metal versions when he wasn't looking. So he can't hug back, but he leans in close and hopes that's enough.
They get about a minute to hug before Mikey is worming his way in between them, wriggling to push his arms past Raph's and around Leo for himself. "No fair, you got to hold him earlier!" Mikey declares, his voice thick with tears.
"You got to hug him earlier," Raph argues.
"He was asleep, it doesn't count!" Mikey hits back, and Leo laughs and shifts so Mikey can better get in the middle. Raph sighs exaggeratedly, but he gives Leo a pat and leans back to let Mikey in.
Mikey hugs even tighter than Raph, nuzzling in against Leo's shoulder. "I missed you," he says, then gives a choked sob he tries to bury.
"Missed you too," Leo promises, craning his neck so he can land a big smooch on Mikey's head. That replaces the sobs with relieved giggles that leave Leo feeling so much lighter.
After another minute, Mikey moves back and looks over at Donnie, who's been standing at the side of the bed wringing his hands. "Your turn, Donald."
Donnie makes a grumpy noise at having been perceived, but when Leo gets a look at his face he sees Donnie has tears shimmering in his eyes, too. They break free once Donnie's arms are around him, trickling onto the skin of Leo's shoulder.
"Crying over me, Don-ton?" he teases, even as his own voice is thick with emotion.
"Shut up, Nardo," Donnie snaps back, but his voice cracks at the end and he holds on even tighter.
"Alright, my turn," says April once Donnie starts to loosen his grip, and Donnie obligingly crawls off the bed, swiping at his eyes. Like he's looking for something to busy himself with, he starts throwing away the takeout containers on the table. They must be empty.
Leo tears his eyes away just as April swoops in to wrap him up in his fourth hug of the hour, giving him a kiss on his forehead as she does. "Hey, Leo. How're you feelin'?"
"Happy to see you," he says again, and she squeezes him tighter. "Kinda hot."
"That's the hypothermia talking," says Donnie. April shushes him.
"Hypothermia?" Leo asks. April pulls back so she can see his face.
"It wasn't that bad," she says quickly. "You'd started brumating, we think... Tromping around in the snow didn't help, though."
"Not to mention you used up the last of your energy portaling us out of there," Mikey chimes in. "It was really cool though!"
Leo laughs. "Thanks, little brother." Even with the containers thrown away, the smell of the takeout is thick in the room. Leo guesses they had Japanese. It can't have been that long ago. "Where are we?"
"Motel room about two hours down the road." April slides to sit next to him, keeping one arm wrapped around his shoulders. Her body heat is warm in a more pleasant way than the blankets, and he leans into it. "We wanted to go further, but we needed to get you warmed up."
"A motel...? Huh." Leo looks around again. This is his first time being in a hotel that isn't owned by Big Mama. He wonders how far it is from the Japanese place. Just, like, average delivery time. "What happened? It's... kind of a blur for me." He laughs.
They launch into the story without any more prompting. It all sounds like what Leo expected. Raph led the team. Donnie did science stuff. Mikey razzed his tazz. April used her investigative skills.
They tracked him all the way down to Colorado (that explains the snow) and broke him out. They floored it away from the EPF, got far enough they felt safe, then booked into a motel under April's name. That's where they've been since. Splinter and Draxum are out now, patrolling to make sure they weren't followed or discovered.
It's quite the story. And Leo knows he should be paying more attention than he is.
It's just, the takeout boxes. The smell coming from them is so strong, or maybe Leo is just abnormally sensitive to it. He thinks someone had steak, and someone else had fish. The fried rice had egg in it. His mouth is watering so badly he has to swallow every few seconds.
"Leo?" calls Mikey, and Leo startles, ripping his eyes from the trash can to look at Mikey's face. He's gripping the bedspread so hard his knuckles are cramping. He realizes this is not the first time Mikey said his name. Great, now they know he wasn't paying attention.
"Ah, sorry," he says quickly. "I didn't mean to zone out." He flashes them all the biggest smile he can, so they don't worry. "I was just, uh..."
He trails off, not sure of a way to say that he was completely distracted by the smell of their already eaten Japanese food without making it awkward.
"Sorry, Leo, we know you're tired," says Raph, reaching over and rubbing his head. "You can go back to sleep. We're not leaving for awhile."
Go back to sleep? Leo doubts he can, what with the hunger an empty yawning hole inside him. It had been muted while the cold and the exhaustion took over, but now that he's warmer and more rested his body is very painfully reminding him he still has another problem.
He's trying to come up with a casual way to approach the subject when his stomach does it for him, gurgling and growling loud enough that everyone hears it. Leo is very glad his blushes don't show up as easily as humans' do.
"Uh... heh heh." He scratches at his own cheek, then stops when he feels how disturbingly hollowed out it is. "Before that... are there any leftovers?"
Everyone's staring at him. Leo's too tired to puzzle out why they're all staring at him. Maybe there really aren't any leftovers? He did just watch Donnie throw everything away. Maybe there were some, but now they'd have to fish it out of the trash. Leo wants to say he'd happily eat it out of the trash, but that would be really weird and they'd stare at him even more.
(But he would eat it out of the trash. He may be too proud to say it out loud, but he can admit it to himself.)
"O-or," he says quickly, to fill the silence after his last question, "if... if it's not too much trouble, can you ask Dad and Barry to bring something with them when they come back? Even if it's just something from a gas station, or..." They're still staring, and Leo feels himself starting to ramble desperately, "Or if it's too late, I can just... I can just go back to sleep, hah, but... but can someone at least wake me up so I don't miss breakfast?"
His family stutters back to life at that. Raph gives a furious shake of his head and says, "Forget breakfast," which makes Leo's heart and stomach lurch painfully. Waiting until lunch? That feels like forever away.
But then Raph continues with, "Leo, why didn't you tell us you're hungry right now?"
Leo falters. "Uh... just... didn't want to interrupt the flow of the conversation," he says, which is true, but the way everyone is looking at him now, he's pretty sure it's the wrong answer.
"Please," says April, tone very close to exasperated, "interrupt the conversation."
"Will do," says Leo. But he's still not sure what to do, because no one has told him when food is coming.
(You want this? You beg for it.)
Before he can spin out on that thought, Mikey jumps off the bed and heads for the mini-fridge that Leo hadn't noticed until now. He yanks open the door and pulls out two takeout containers, a box and a cylindrical container.
"We weren't sure what you felt up to, so we got you steak hibachi and miso soup," Mikey says, waving each container in turn.
The thought of having to actually chew and swallow sounds exhausting, so Leo says, "Soup's fine." And then, just in case, he adds hastily, "Please."
"Okay," says Mikey, and even though he's clearly trying to sound upbeat, Leo can hear the strain in his voice. "Just give me a minute to heat it up for you!"
Leo would eat it cold. Leo would eat it frozen. But he bites that back and waits.
Mikey puts it in the microwave on top of the fridge. Every little tick down on the timer feels like it takes three eternities. The rest of his family seems to feel the tension as much as he does.
"April!" says Donnie abruptly, too loud to be natural. "You wanted to see what's on the sci-fi channel!"
"Thaaat's right!" she says, also a little too loudly. "I did. Hand me the remote."
Donnie gives her the remote. She turns on the TV just as the microwave dings.
Mikey yanks the door open as soon as it does, pulling the bowl out with no regard for how hot it is. He gives it a perfunctory blow to cool it down, then hurries over to the bed, pausing only to grab a plastic spoon off a little pile of utensils on the table.
He hands both the bowl and spoon to Leo, but Leo already knows his arms won't be able to maneuver the spoon, so he lets it fall into his lap, in favor of lifting the entire container to his lips. He hopes he doesn't look too pathetically eager as he tilts it back and takes his first sip.
It's good.
It's so good he starts crying.
It's not even the best miso soup he's ever had. In fact, it's a little too oily and nowhere near as good as the kind his dad makes, or what Mikey is capable of. But it doesn't matter. It wouldn't matter if this was the worst soup in the world, because right now it's the best thing Leo has ever tasted.
He may be crying more over this than he did over hugs from his family. Maybe he'll have it in him to feel bad for that later.
The TV is showing some old monster movie. His siblings pretend they're watching that and not watching him. He appreciates that, because it makes him feel less self-conscious as he desperately slurps down the soup, practically guzzling it, only pausing when he has to chew the greens here and there.
He eats until his stomach is full and warm. And then he keeps going. There's still soup left, and stopping feels impossible.
(Besides, no one actually promised him breakfast.)
"Hey, maybe you should slow down," says Donnie. Leo pauses, looking up at him, licking the remains of soup off his lips. The container is still about a third full.
Maybe Donnie is right. His stomach is actually starting to cramp. But... but...
He doesn't know what his face looks like right now. But something about it makes Donnie look sad.
He turns away, rubbing right between his fake eyebrows. "Okay, okay. Just... don't overdo it."
Leo sighs, grateful the soup isn't being taken away. He goes back to drinking it, feeling like the chasm inside him is finally beginning to fill.
-----
The next time Leo wakes up, it's because he has to puke. Unfortunately, he doesn't have time to communicate that before it's all over himself and the bedsheets.
"Whoa, Leo-" someone says, and then there's a flurry of activity around him. He can't keep up with who goes where and who says what. It's a lot to keep track of when he just woke up and is spewing half-digested miso soup and stomach bile.
"There we go... You're alright, Blue, you're alright," he hears once he comes back to his senses, and he blinks and looks over. His dad is standing on the bed next to him, and he leans in with a damp washcloth and wipes at Leo's face and mouth.
"Perhaps the soup was too much for your stomach," Splinter says as he finishes, tossing the washcloth into the floor. "How do you feel?"
"Mm... weird," Leo admits, leaning sleepily into his dad's shoulder. He shouldn't because he's gross, but Splinter lets him do it, stroking his cheek. "My stomach hurts..."
The loss of the food hurts; without anything in his stomach, he'll feel hungry again soon. Leo is terrified of that, of the deep empty chasm of his hunger returning, sucking him down into its depths. At the same time, the idea of eating makes him feel queasy.
He feels weird, and miserable, and scared, and he doesn't know when his dad came back, but he's so glad he's here.
"How much did you let him eat?" he hears Draxum ask. Leo finds the energy to feel offended that he's being talked about like he isn't in the room, but not enough energy to actually say anything about it.
"As much as he wanted," Mikey answers. Which, as Leo recalls, was almost all of the soup.
"And how much was that?"
"Here, look."
There's the sound of the mini-fridge being opened again. The pop of the takeout lid. Draxum hums in a way that does not sound pleased.
"Leonardo," he says, coming to stand by the bed now. "I have a very important question and I need you to answer: when was the last time you ate?"
Leo stares at him blearily. Then he raises a tired hand and indicates the mess all down his front.
"Don't get cute," says Draxum, ignoring the following grunt of warning Splinter directs his way. "You know what I'm asking you."
Of course Leo knows. But he doesn't want to answer. Not while his dad is holding him, and all his siblings are watching him expectantly. They aren't going to like what he has to tell them. He doesn't want to upset them.
But Draxum is unmoved and steely eyed. There's no way Leo is getting out of this without answering.
He sighs, shutting his eyes and leaning into Splinter so he doesn't have to be looking at the rest of them when he says it.
"Last time I ate was at Run of the Mill."
He hears a gasp, hears Mikey yell, "What!?" Feels Splinter's sharp intake of breath under his cheek, and then his dad shifts so he can hold him even closer.
"They... they didn't feed you in there at all?" asks April, like she doesn't quite believe it.
Leo nods.
"I should have leveled the whole building!" Donnie snaps, and Leo hears something get knocked to the ground.
Mikey comes closer, and puts a hand on his shoulder, drawing Leo's gaze back his way. He looks so upset, and Leo regrets looking. "Leo, why didn't you tell us? You didn't even say you were hungry!"
"Felt weird to bring it up in the middle of the happy reunion," he says. It's a weak justification, he knows. The look on Mikey's face just gets more miserable.
"Wait," Raph cuts in. "Wait, so... when Bishop said he gave you chances to cooperate for better living conditions, he meant..."
Leo swallows hard, not wanting to look at the distress on Raph's face. "Feeding me, yeah."
"What did he want out of you? What was he making you do?"
This part, at least, Leo can answer easily. "He wanted information. About the yokai and the Hidden City."
Raph sounds surprised. "He just... wanted you to answer questions?"
"Yeah." Leo nods again. "Like, how to get in, how many portals there are, what kind of defense capabilities there are, stuff about Draxum... That's what I remember."
"Why didn't you just tell them?"
Now Leo does look at Raph's face. He's staring at Leo with open horror and distress. But Leo doesn't understand the question, or the look. He did what he was supposed to, didn't he? He held out and didn't give Bishop any information. He did the right thing. So Raph has no reason to look so upset.
He smiles in a way he hopes is reassuring. "Hey, that's not what a hero would do, right?"
It's apparently not reassuring. If anything, Raph only looks more horrified.
He turns away from Leo abruptly and marches straight out of the room, slamming the door on the way out.
Leo doesn't understand that reaction. He did what he was supposed to, but Raph is mad at him, anyway. The rest of his family seems shocked, too, so at least Leo isn't alone.
"I'll talk to him," says April, the first to move. She leaves with much less noise, disappearing into the dark parking lot beyond the door.
Awkward silence envelops the room after that. Leo doesn't know what to do or say to break it. He made Raph mad, because he never does anything right, according to Raph. It's the same as always, but for some reason Leo feels even worse this time.
"...Well," says Draxum, cutting through the awkwardness when it becomes clear no one else wants to, "knowing this, we will have to be much more careful about what and how much you eat. I'll make a meal plan."
"Why you?" Leo grouses. "Let Donnie do it."
Donnie opens his mouth like he wants to agree, but Draxum cuts him off before he can.
"Me, because I have actual experience designing nutritious meal plans for children." Leo thinks of what he's heard about Draxum's lunchroom and makes a face, which Draxum ignores. "Besides, I can't trust any of the rest of you to actually tell Leo he can't have more to eat."
"I can handle myself," Leo argues.
"Clearly," says Draxum icily, indicating the mess still in Leo's lap, "you cannot."
Leo doesn't have a good response for that, and no one steps up to his defense. Back not even twenty four hours, and he already has multiple people mad at him. That has to be a new record.
"...Whatever," he says, because he doesn't know what else to say. Draxum nods like he actually gave approval.
There's another round of awkward silence. Splinter breaks it this time.
"Why doesn't someone call housekeeping to ask for some fresh sheets," he says, "while I help Blue take a bath."
"Ugh, yes, I'm calling them now," says Donnie. Leo notes for the first time that his most persnickety brother is as far from his bed as possible, having put the second bed and the table between them. "The whole room is starting to smell."
Leo cringes. "Sorry..."
"There is nothing for you to apologize for," his dad reassures him, patting his head. Leo isn't sure he'd say that, but he doesn't waste breath arguing. "Now, come with me."
It takes some maneuvering, but they get him out of bed without making a bigger mess. Mikey starts stripping the sheets, and he can hear Donnie on the phone with the staff across the room.
Leo's still not wearing any of his gear. It shouldn't matter because he's just in a room with his family, but he still walks to the bathroom as quickly as he can.
Splinter shuts the door once they're inside, then fills a little plastic cup with water. This he hands off to Leo, saying, "Drink this, and I will run you a nice warm bath."
Leo does as he says, and tries not to think too much about how Raph is mad at him.
-----
There's an old concrete barrier that stands between the motel parking lot and an open field. Raph hefts a piece of the crumbling concrete and chucks it as hard as he can, watching as it disappears into the tall grass beyond.
They starved him. They starved his little brother for over a week, because he wouldn't answer some questions. And he wouldn't answer those questions because...
That's not what a hero would do.
Raph's ninpo flares to life. Punching out another piece of the barrier is easy; he lifts the broken pieces and throws them after the first, watching them sail through the air.
"You better hope there aren't any security cameras out here," says a voice behind him, and he looks over his shoulder.
April is there, standing a few feet back, hands tucked in the pockets of her jacket. Raph's ninpo stutters out at the sight of her; he wonders if he looked scary.
"...What are they gonna do even if there are?" he asks. But he does stop his wanton destruction.
"I don't know, but just remember it's my credit card on file for damages." Her voice is teasing, though, and he knows she isn't actually mad. She comes over, turning so she can lean against part of the barrier that's still intact. "Come on, Big Red. Talk to me."
Raph doesn't turn around. He can't stand to look back at the motel, at the room where his brother is, tiny and weak and with a stomach that's been empty for days on end. He can't handle it right now. So he keeps his eyes on the field.
"Leo let those guys hurt him," he says.
"No he didn't," says April. "He can't help what they did to him."
"If he'd just answered their questions, they would have fed him."
"We can't know that." April shakes her head. "You heard what Draxum said about those guys. You saw what they were like. Maybe if Leo had answered their questions, they would have just killed him. Leo was probably thinking that, too."
"But that's not what he said," Raph points out.
"...Look." April takes a deep breath. "Leo... just went through a lot. We don't know what he was thinking while he was in there, or what he's thinking now. And you know that boy likes to say flashy things. Don't take anything he says right now too seriously."
"But what if this is the most truthful he's gonna be? What if he just hasn't thought of a good lie yet?"
"Raph-"
"No, you don't get it, April." Raph holds his head in his hands, like he can physically hold the dark thoughts at bay, but he can't, and they keep coming: horrific images of what could have happened, if they'd been too late, if the EPF had been less patient. "I told him to stop thinking of himself! Right before he disappeared, I told him he needed to be a hero! But Raph didn't mean like this!"
"Hey now, you don't know-" April tries, but Raph cuts her off.
"I just wanted him to stop doing everything himself! All the showboating, all the running in without talkin' to us... Raph just wanted him to remember that we're a team!" He lets go of his head and grips the concrete instead, so hard it cracks and crumbles under his fingers. "What if he took that to mean he should risk his life for everyone else? That he had to sacrifice himself?"
"Oookay, slow down there, big guy," says April, turning around and putting a hand on his arm. "You're taking one thing he said and blowing it way out of proportion."
"But what if I'm right?" Raph shakes his head. "How do I live with that, if I am? Knowing I almost killed him?"
"Okay, you look at me right now," she demands, in a way Raph can't refuse. He turns, and she reaches up and grabs his face by the cheeks, yanking him down until he bends to her eye level.
"You did not almost kill him. That was those EPF guys." Her voice is stern, and her grip on his face prevents him from objecting. "And even if you are right, and it's what you said to Leo that kept him from answering... well, then that's something the two of you will have to work out together."
She lets him go, putting her hands on her hips. "But what's done is done. Right now, Leo is exhausted and starved, and he's not really in a state for big emotional talks. So let's just get some space and get your head on straight. Once we get him home and everything's calmed down, the two of you can hash this out."
Raph lets out a strangled laugh, slumping down against the crumbling barrier. "Yeah, because that's so easy."
"I'm not saying it's easy." She sits down next to him, putting her hand on his arm. "But you guys love each other, so you'll do the hard things you have to do. I know you got this." She gives him a wink. "You're Raph."
Raph isn't sure he has that much faith in himself. But April isn't wrong very often, so he thinks he should probably listen to her.
-----
The water feels nice on Leo's skin, pleasantly warm and soothing. He sinks down until all but his eyes are in the water, letting it swirl around him.
He still feels a little exposed, but it's only Splinter in here, and that helps. It's like he's a little kid again, getting a bath from his dad, but he has to scrunch to cram his legs in the tub and that ruins the illusion.
"My Baby Blue always did enjoy a nice bath," says Splinter fondly, rustling up hotel soap for them to use.
He wets a washcloth and lathers it up, then cleans off the top of Leo's head and back of his neck, then down to his shoulders and the ridge of his shell. Leo would normally protest this kind of treatment, but right now he's not sure he can lift his arms above his head, so he doesn't.
Besides, it feels nice.
"Float on your front," Splinter says, adding, "Deep breath." It's what he always said when they were kids and he wanted to wash their shells. Everyone but Mikey can hold their breath for a long time, but he always says it anyway.
Leo takes a deep breath and flips onto his front, closing his eyes as his dad washes the back of his shell. It's so soothing he could almost take a nap here. The world is nicely muted under the water.
Splinter gives his shell three pats with his hand, the signal to sit back up. Leo does, rolling onto his back to rinse off. Splinter hands him the washcloth and soap, and he cleans his lower half, taking care around the bottom ridges of his shell.
"Thanks for the bath, Daddio," he says as he finishes. "I know I was starting to get pretty ripe." He pulls up the drain plug with a pop, watching the dirty water spin away.
He tries to imagine he's watching the last of that place drain away with it.
Splinter retrieves a fluffy white towel, drying off the top of Leo's head before handing it off. "I wasn't thinking of that," he says. "But I know a good bath always made you feel better when you were sick."
It was never really about the bath, but the undivided dad attention. How Splinter would wash his shell and pat his head and dry him off, just like he's doing now.
It occurs to Leo that he almost lost this forever, and its like his breath is taken away. He buries his face in the towel and tries to ride through it - he doesn't want to cry again.
Splinter must pick up on it, because suddenly he's sitting on the side of the tub, rubbing the top of Leo's shell. "It's okay, Blue. You're safe."
He's safe.
He really is safe, isn't he?
He lowers the towel and turns into his dad instead, wriggling his head into his lap. Splinter welcomes him, patting his head with one hand and the top of his shell with another. Leo's breath hitches and the tears break free.
"I know," says Splinter, and his voice is thick with emotion. Leo knows he can't look or he'll start sobbing. "I... was very scared for you, my son. I am so glad you're here, Leonardo. I love you very much."
"L-love you too," he warbles. His tears are falling fast, now, and Splinter takes the towel and dries them away every now and then.
By the time Leo sits up and rubs at his eyes, the towel is totally soaked through from being in the tub. Splinter moves away to grab him a fresh one, which Leo wraps himself up in.
"Leonardo," says Splinter hesitantly once he is out of the tub, "I know you may not want to talk about it right now. But I need to ask you this."
Leo wonders where this is going. He sits down on the toilet lid, looking at his dad. "Uh, okay."
Splinter looks him up and down before asking, "Did those men... hit you? Or touch you in any way?"
Oh. Leo shakes his head. "No. They didn't... I mean, they just put me in that room. They weren't, like... torturing me or anything."
He thought that would reassure his dad, but if anything Splinter only looks more sad.
"Not feeding you is torturing you," he says.
"Oh, well, yeah, I guess." Leo rubs the back of his head. "But I mean, they weren't... you know. Shocking me or whipping me or... putting me in that medieval stretchy thing from the movies."
"I see." His dad sighs, but nods. "Very well. I'm glad, at least, that you do not have any injuries."
Leo nods back. "Yeah, no, I'm all good." He tries to smile, but his smiles aren't really having the effect they usually do.
"Are you ready to go back?" asks Splinter, moving to the door. Leo nods again, standing up. "Are you still cold?"
Leo blinks in surprise, then realizes Splinter is referring to the towel he still has wrapped around himself. He's not really that cold anymore, but he grabs onto the convenient excuse, anyway.
"Uh, yeah." He grins sheepishly. "Actually, did you guys bring any of my clothes? I'm a little worried about the ride home."
"Ah." Splinter taps his chin. "I don't think we brought any of your things. Your brothers brought their hoodies, I believe, in case they needed to go in a store..." He reaches up and pats Leo's hand. "There is a gift shop in the motel lobby. I will send Purple and Orange in the morning - I'm sure they'd enjoy doing some shopping!"
"Thanks. I just need a sweatshirt or something. Maybe some pajama pants." He shrugs. "Gotta stay toasty, right?"
"That's right. No more turtle-cicles." Splinter reaches up and turns the doorknob, gesturing for Leo to lead the way.
Leo shuffles for the bed, keeping the towel tight around himself as he goes. He doesn't drop it until he's under the sheets again, safely tucked away.
Raph isn't back yet. The realization turns Leo's stomach. But Mikey barrels into bed next to him, cuddling up against one side, while Donnie scoots in on the other, tapping away at his phone, and Leo tries to forget about it.
He's sure that, as soon as he's better, Raph will be back to yell at him.
-----
Leo doesn't realize Draxum left until he comes back. He did doze off for a bit there, though, so it's not surprising.
Mikey was snoozing against Leo's arm, too, but when the door clicks shut he raises his head, blinking sleep out of his eyes. Donnie looks up from his phone. Splinter's asleep in the other bed, only grumbling incoherently at the noise before rolling over.
(Raph and April still haven't come back. It makes Leo's heart thud a little harder.)
"Hey Barry," says Mikey, voice still a little sleepy. He pushes himself up to sit against the pillows. "Find what you were looking for?"
"Yes." Draxum walks over to the bed, pulling a bottle out of a pharmacy bag. He twists the cap loose, then holds it out and says, "Leonardo, drink this."
Leo can't help the way his face screws up as he takes it, eyeing the label on the bottle. "Eugh. What is this?"
"Vegetable juice," Draxum informs him dryly.
"Gross." Leo does not bring the bottle any closer to his lips. "Can I have soda instead?"
"Absolutely not." Draxum's voice is stern. "No sugar or caffeine until I say otherwise."
The next several days are looking worse and worse. Leo grimaces. "Can I just drink water, then?"
"You can and should drink water. But you also need to steadily reintroduce your body to nutrients. The vegetable juice will help, until your stomach can handle more solid food at a time."
Leo groans, eyeing the bottle warily. Anything labeled "juice" should not be this color of red-orange.
"Draxum's just trying to help, Leo!" Mikey chimes in. "Besides, vegetable juice isn't that bad."
It's not the most reassuring endorsement, given that Mikey loves vegetables in a way Leo has never understood. But with his little brother cheering him on, he can't back down.
"Fine. Down the hatch," he mutters, then takes a swig. It tastes just as off-putting as he was imagining, and he shudders and smacks his lips. "Yuck."
"Sorry, Leo." Mikey pats his arm comfortingly. "As soon as Barry says it's okay, we'll get pizza!"
"Please don't remind me of pizza right now..."
"Here." Leo looks up to find Draxum is holding out a handful of crackers. "Eat these, too. Be sure you chew them thoroughly before you swallow. And keep drinking the juice."
Leo takes the crackers in his free hand, putting them in his lap on top of the sheets. There's only six, and they look boring even for crackers. but his stomach perks up with interest, reminding Leo that everything he put in it before got thrown up.
Leo thought he was going to be waiting until breakfast to eat again. The crackers ease that tension, relief he hadn't consciously realized he needed.
Still, can't let Draxum think Leo actually appreciates all his bullying, so Leo still makes a face as he holds up one of the crackers and examines it.
"And these are...?"
"Are you going to react like this to everything?" asks Draxum with a scoff. "They're whole wheat crackers. They'll settle your stomach, and you need food in you so can take these vitamins."
He pulls a bottle out of his bag and shakes it, filling the room with the sound of pills rattling around. Leo scrunches up his snout.
"You didn't get me the chewable kind? Or those fruit gummy ones?"
"Are you such a child you need your medicine in the form of candy?" Draxum rolls his eyes. "You will be just fine with the pills."
"Okay, okay!" Leo groans theatrically, leaning his head back. "I can't believe you guys are letting him take care of him. He'll be feeding me bugs and leaves next."
"Stop whining. No one wants to hear it this late."
"I actually like these crackers," says Donnie. "They're delightfully bland."
This statement is followed by a crunch.
The sound sends a shiver up Leo's shell, and he turns his head in time to see Donnie, one of Leo's crackers in his hand, a big bite taken out of it. He chews and swallows with a slight smile on his face, clearly unconcerned that he just took one of Leo's crackers.
Leo only had six crackers to start. Now there's five. He doesn't know when he gets any more. No one promised him breakfast. And now he only has five crackers, and not six. And he can feel the hunger coming back.
Donnie turns his head and they lock eyes. Leo has no idea what his own expression looks like, but Donnie's turns startled and then almost frightened. He's so shocked he drops the rest of the cracker into his own lap.
Leo just barely stops himself from snatching it back.
Because that would be weird. What he's doing right now is weird. Everyone is staring at him, the room has gone silent, he's acting like Donnie just committed an unforgivable sin when all he did was take a cracker, like the two of them haven't been casually taking each other's food their entire lives.
He's being weird. He needs to stop. He needs to go back to normal right now.
Five crackers can be enough. It's enough it's enough it's-
Leo forces his brain to restart, his face and posture to relax, his fingers to unclench. He schools his mouth into an unserious grin, glancing back at Draxum. "H-hey, so... how many crackers do I need to eat? Since Thief-atello just stole one."
"I'm sorry," Donnie blurts out, an extremely rare apology. "I wasn't thinking."
Leo waves a hand. "It's cool, man," he says.
"No," Donnie insists. "I shouldn't have done that, I don't know why I did that-"
Great, first he pisses off Raph and now Donnie's freaked out. Leo's family came all the way to Colorado to save him and all he's done since then is upset them.
"Dee," says Leo, and he knocks one shoulder against Donnie's. "Seriously. It's fine."
Because it is. They take food from each other all the time. Leo's the one who made it weird, not Donnie, even if he did take one of Leo's crackers.
Donnie looks at him, uncertain. He still hasn't touched the remaining cracker in his lap. Leo wishes he would finish eating it now, so it isn't tempting him.
"...Still. I won't do it again," says Donnie finally, looking down at his lap and wringing his hands. He looks miserable, and Leo hates that he caused this.
Before he can do or say anything more, Draxum gets Leo's attention by holding out a new cracker. "Here," he says, waiting until Leo takes it, before handing a few to the still shell-shocked Donnie. "Both of you can have crackers. Now don't squabble, you'll disturb the neighbors."
Donnie puts the crackers in his lap and doesn't touch them again. The air in the room is stifling. And Leo wants to eat his own crackers, but now it feels awkward.
"I think you should steal one of his to get him back," says Mikey in an exaggerated whisper, a gallant attempt to dispel the tension. It doesn't quite work, but it breaks the silence enough for Leo to force out a chuckle and pick up a cracker.
"Everyone eat what you've been given and settle down," says Draxum, going to sit on the other bed. Splinter mumbles in his sleep again and rolls over. Everyone relaxes a little more.
Leo bites into the cracker. It tastes like all of nothing, but it has a pleasant crunch between his teeth, and he finds that he likes it.
Next to him, Donnie hesitantly finishes off his own half-finished cracker. Then he half-heartedly eats the others. Leo drinks his vegetable juice, then swallows the pill Draxum gives him.
Mikey does his best to fill the room with happy chatter, and the mood lightens, little by little.
Everything's okay. He just can't do that again.
-----
Everyone but Draxum is asleep when Raph and April come back into the room, just a little before dawn. Splinter is splayed out across the bed closest to the door, while all three of his little brothers are curled around each other in the bed by the bathroom.
Raph and April spent a long time sitting by the barrier, talking intermittently between long spells of silence. Then they moved to the tank, taking a nap together on the bench seats.
April has her travel pillow and blanket now, and she takes both and spreads out at the foot of his brothers’ bed, wisely putting her head by Donnie, who sleeps still as the dead, and not Mikey, who has already moved several times since they walked in. She yawns and then conks out almost immediately, glasses held loosely in her hand against her chest.
Raph wishes he didn’t feel quite so wide awake.
Draxum is sitting in one of the chairs by the table, phone in hand. He has a notebook open and scribbles into it with a pen. Raph comes over and takes a peek: it’s all notes about nutrition, the vitamins that are most critically needed after a long term starvation event.
Draxum’s helping Leo. That makes Raph feel better, and he sinks into the other chair, leaning his head back.
“You should try to get some sleep,” says Draxum, voice low. “We’ll be leaving in a few hours.”
“Raph’s good,” he says, staying where he is.
He feels Draxum’s eyes on him, for a moment. “I’m taking watch. Go to sleep, Raphael.”
Raph hesitates, then gets up from the chair and goes to lay down next to his dad. Splinter grumbles in his sleep, but rolls over like he knows to make room for a son crawling into his bed.
From here Raph can see Leo’s face. It’s gaunt and washed out, and even with all the sleeping he’s done there are still dark circles under his eyes. He looks so fragile, and the anger burns in his chest again, that anyone could hurt him like this.
He’s safe now, though. Mikey has an arm curled around his plastron, and Donnie flanks his other side like a guard. He’s able to rest, and eat, and get better.
Raph remembers what April said. Give Leo time to heal, then talk about what happened in there. He can do that. He can be patient.
He hadn’t thought he would be able to sleep, but lying still, with his sleeping family all around him, safe and sound, puts him under in minutes.
-----
"Morning, Leo!"
Leo blinks awake, taking in his surroundings. The walls are beige, the bed is blue, there's a TV playing the morning news on low volume, there's sunlight shining through the window.
He can smell food.
"It's breakfast time!" says Mikey. He's standing next to the bed, holding a tray. Leo wriggles until he's sitting up against the pillows, grinning as he pats his lap.
"Thanks, Mikey."
"You're welcome!" Mikey gives Leo a thousand watt smile as he sets the tray down.
Leo wishes he could feel as enthusiastic as his little brother as he gets a look at his breakfast. There's a large cup of white yogurt, and a little plate of scrambled eggs that don't even look like they have pepper on them. He's glad he has food, he just wishes it was something more exciting.
He lifts his eyes and takes a look around the room. Donnie is in one of the chairs by the table, tapping away on his phone. April is in the other chair, and she smiles and gives him a little wave when he meets her eyes. His dad is in the other bed, munching on what looks like a muffin and watching the news. He doesn't see Raph, but he hears the shower running.
Draxum is standing by the doorway, watching Leo. When their gazes meet, he sighs, rubbing the furrow on his forehead.
"Are you going to ask me what you're eating again?"
"Yes!" Leo points at the cup of yogurt. "What is this!? It's not even fruit flavored!"
"It's Greek yogurt. You can have fruit when your stomach is more settled."
"Ugh..." Leo sighs, grabbing the plastic spoon off his tray and scooping up a tiny bite of yogurt. It's not terrible, but without any fruit it's not very exciting.
"Hey, look at the bright side," says Mikey, holding out a plastic cup. "You get apple juice this morning! Since it had no sugar added, Draxum said it's okay!"
Leo musters up a smile. "Well, it's better than vegetable juice..."
"Don't get too excited," says Draxum dryly. "You'll be drinking more on the drive home."
"You're such a buzzkill, Drax," Leo huffs, taking a bite of his eggs now. They're unseasoned, but they're something. And there's the part of him that is just happy to have any food, simmering under the surface and demanding he eat faster. To keep himself from cramming the whole of the plate in his mouth at once, he turns to Mikey. "Hey, sneak me a muffin. Blueberry or chocolate chip."
Mikey grimaces. "I don't think Barry wants me to do that..."
Leo pouts, chewing his eggs slowly. "Who are you going to listen to, him or me?"
"He'll listen to me," says Draxum sternly. "If you're still hungry after that, you can have some more crackers."
Leo sighs, but part of him feels better knowing the crackers are still on the table. He crams more eggs in his mouth and chews as sulkily as possible.
There's an Old Navy ad playing on TV. Splinter sits up straighter in bed when he sees it, getting muffin crumbs everywhere. "Ah, that reminds me! Blue wanted some warm clothes to wear on the ride home." Splinter reaches out and pats Mikey on the arm. "Orange, Purple - why don't the two of you go to the gift shop and do some shopping? You can get a souvenir for yourselves as well."
"Oooh, yes!" Mikey bounces excitedly in place. "Dibs on picking out Leo's clothes!"
"Gasp!" Donnie stands up, pointing at him dramatically. "You know I'm the fashionable one in this family! Leo, tell him you want me to pick out your clothes for our return trip!"
"Mmm, I dunno..." Leo grins up at his little brother, giving him a wink. "I think Angelo's got this."
Donnie makes a noise of utter betrayal while Mikey cheers and stoops to give Leo a hug. "I won't let you down, Leon!" he promises, giving Leo a big smooch on the top of his head.
"I know you won't."
"Fine then! I'll just have to make you all jealous with my own selections." Donnie looks down. "April, do you want to join us?"
"Yeah, sure." April stands up, stretching her arms above her head. "Maybe I'll get a keychain or something."
The three of them file out of the room, Donnie and Mikey still arguing animatedly. Draxum takes one of the abandoned chairs, and Splinter goes back to watching the news.
Leo continues eating his bland breakfast, and tries not to spend too much time wondering when his next meal will be. At least he's been promised crackers.
-----
Raph comes out of the bathroom about ten minutes later, just as Leo's finishing up his breakfast with a few crackers. He nearly jumps when their eyes meet.
"Oh, hey, Leo," he says, voice a forced cheerful. "You're awake! That's great!"
"Yeah," says Leo back, trying not to sound too awkward and failing. He holds up his empty cup. "Just finished breakfast."
"O-oh, yeah. Was it... good?"
Leo grimaces. "Not really."
"Oh." Raph hovers in the doorway, practically vibrating with nervous energy. Leo wonders if he should apologize, but he still doesn't know what he's apologizing for, so he doesn't.
He'd know if Raph would just go ahead and yell at him, but Raph doesn't seem eager to start. Maybe he doesn't think Leo is healed up enough yet, or maybe he doesn't want to do it in front of Splinter. Either way, no yelling seems forthcoming.
Instead, Raph says, "Uh, where's everyone else?"
"Shopping for clothes for Blue and for souvenirs for themselves," Splinter answers.
"Oh, cool. Maybe... maybe I'll go join 'em!"
Raph pats Leo on the head as he goes by, then leaves the room like it's on fire. Leo is silent; he has no idea what to say or do.
He's out of food now, too. He's already asked Draxum for crackers once, and he's not sure if asking again will actually gain him anything. And with Mikey gone, he feels too anxious to try.
He settles back on his pillows and turns his eyes to the TV, lifting the plastic spoon in his hands. He slots the handle between his teeth and chews, relaxing at the feel of it. It's sturdier than the water bottles, so he can't flatten it down as easily, but the way he can munch on it endlessly has its own appeal.
The news drones on. His dad laughs at something the anchors say. Draxum scribbles away at a notebook. And Leo leans back on his pillows and chews on the spoon.
On the ticker at the bottom of the screen, he notices the tail end of a news item about a training accident at a military facility in Colorado Springs - one injured.
-----
The outfit Mikey has picked out is a sky blue hoodie with "PIKE'S PEAK" in big block letters and darker blue plaid sweatpants. They meet Leo's standards for softness and comfiness, if not quite his standards for style. It's fine, because he's after the former right now.
"Did I do good?" Mikey asks, bouncing on his toes.
"You did great," Leo responds, motioning him closer so he can rub his head affectionately. It lacks his usual punch, but Mikey laughs and wiggles away anyway.
"We also got," Mikey rummages around in the gift store bag, then pulls out, "matching fuzzy socks!"
The socks are in their signature colors and have snowboarders on them, and each set has a terrible pun like, "SNOW RULES!" and "COOLER THAN COOL!" Leo loves them immediately.
"I think this is the best gift you've ever gotten me," says Leo sincerely. Mikey beams and comes in for a hug that Leo gladly returns.
"Here, put 'em on!" says Mikey after he backs away, nodding at the hoodie and pants on the bed. "You don't want to be cold, right?"
"Right," says Leo, lifting the hoodie in his arms. A quick glance around the room shows that they're all looking at him now - Mikey, Donnie, and April by the bed, Splinter from the other bed, Draxum at the table, Raph hovering in the doorway. Waiting for him to put the clothes on.
He wishes they wouldn't.
It's weird. He's never felt self-conscious like this. He and his brothers have never really practiced modesty the way humans do, especially around each other. And yet the idea of standing in front of them now with no clothes, not even his mask, makes him feel strangely queasy.
He tries to tell himself it's because of how he looks now. Stick thin arms and legs, weird, unhealthy skin tone, dark circles under his eyes that a few hours of unconsciousness and one night of intermittent sleep have definitely not erased. That it's just his normal vanity.
But he can still feel it: that guard's eyes on him, any time he left the safety of his hiding spot under his cot.
He pulls the hoodie on over his head while he's still in bed. Then he crawls out of bed and pulls the pants on as fast as he can.
He looks around to see if anyone noticed, but their expressions haven't changed. Mikey gives him a thumbs up.
He relaxes. With the clothes on, the feeling of being exposed finally ebbs away. And it is warmer like this, which is a plus.
It's okay. In a day or two, he'll be over this weird self-consciousness and back to normal, and no one has to know about it.
"Well, how do I look?" he asks, grinning and turning in a circle. Mikey and April clap indulgently for him.
"Lookin' good, Leo," says April, and he gives her a wink.
"Well, even though you chose to forego my aesthetic sensibilities, I got you something, too," says Donnie, pushing his way forward. He holds out a pair of flipflops, which say "We're in" and "CO" on the toes and have cartoon giraffes on the heels. Leo can't help but grin when he sees them. "Trust me, you'll want these if we have to go into any gas station restrooms. Shudder."
Leo laughs, then reaches out an arm to pull Donnie into a hug before he can escape. To his surprise, Donnie doesn't even put up a token fight against it, hugging him back more fiercely than usual.
"Thanks, I love them," he says into Donnie's ear.
"Of course you do," says Donnie smugly, but his eyes are suspiciously shiny when he breaks the hug. Nothing feels awkward between them now, even given the cracker incident earlier, and Leo is glad.
“Okay!” says April, clapping her hands. “Checkout’s in thirty minutes - if you have anything else to do, do it now.”
“Wait,” says Leo, looking around. “Where’s my mask?” It’d be nice for hiding the dark circles.
“Oh, I think Raph grabbed it,” says April, but when she turns, Raph is gone. April presses her fingers to her forehead and sighs. “Okay, you can get it later.”
Leo’s mouth suddenly feels dry. He reaches around and grabs a bottle of vegetable juice Draxum gave him, draining the last of it.
“Checkout in twenty eight minutes,” says Donnie to cut the awkwardness. “Let’s go, people!”
Leo sits on the bed and watches his family prepare to leave, gnawing on the top of his juice bottle.
-----
“Wake up, sleepyhead,” calls a voice, and Leo blinks awake to see April standing over his cot. No, not the cot - this is the bench seat in the tank. If he’s going to be sleeping so much, he needs to stop waking up confused.
And he has been sleeping a lot. The only time they woke him up was to eat another snack of crackers with a little bit of mushed up banana, like he’s some kind of baby.
The banana did help break up the monotony, though.
Leo can’t help but hope he’s being woken up for food again.
Like she read his mind, April grins and holds out a hand to help him up. “Lunch time!” she announces.
“Oh boy,” says Leo, taking the hand and slowly getting to his feet. He’s stiff from lying in the tank for so long, and he stretches and pops his arms. “More flavorless mush.”
“Maybe we can convince Drax to give you a little salt this time,” says April with a snicker. She waits for him to slip the flipflops on, then leads him out of the tank.
It occurs to him that this is the first time he’s really been out in the sun in over a week, excluding times he’s been unconscious and the short walk from the motel room to the tank. He takes a minute to just lean his face back and feel the warmth of it on his skin. It hasn’t even been that long, and he’s used to life underground, but somehow it feels different this time, foreign and new and sweet.
When he looks back at April, she’s tearing up again. She quickly wipes at the bottoms of her eyes and pulls on a smile, linking her arm around his.
“Come on. We can grab a picnic table and sit outside.”
It's then that Leo actually takes in where they are: a big travel center, or that's what the sign on the building declare. The tank is parked at the gas pumps, and Donnie, with his hood up, is excitedly talking about it to some interested truckers who have come over. He spots Mikey over at the grassy space for dog walking, laughing while a puppy licks his face, a seemingly annoyed Draxum standing off to the side with his arms folded. He doesn't see Raph or Splinter, but April fills him in as they cross the parking lot.
"Raph and Splints are inside ordering food. They have a whole diner in there!"
"Let me guess: I'm eating soup."
"I think it's potato."
"Well, at least it's not more tomato." Leo makes a face. "If I have to drink any more vegetable juice I'm going to turn red and swell up into a ball."
"You know what pizza sauce is made out of, right?" she asks, playfully bumping into him.
"Actually, I don't," he says smoothly, bumping into her back. They fake tussle outside the door for a moment, until both of them are laughing.
Someone trying to get past clears their throat loudly, and April and Leo shoot them an apologetic look before going on inside. Leo visits the restroom and tries not to look too long at the arrays of snacks on offer. April goes to help Raph and his dad with the food.
They all end up back outside at a large picnic table. His family has a mix of foods: burgers, hot dogs, salads, chicken strips. He knows there was pizza inside, and it touches him that no one picked it.
Next to everyone else's large, full plates, his own bowl of soup feels ridiculously small and sad. But he doubts any amount of pouting will convince Draxum to let him have a burger, so he digs in. At least this has some flavor.
Lunch is nice, even if Raph is still acting weird and distant. It’s just good being in the sun and the fresh air. Leo is reluctant to leave as they finish up.
“Come with me!” says Mikey as the others go to throw their trash away and buy anything they need for the return trip. He holds out his hand, and Leo takes it and follows Mikey back toward the grassy area at the edge of the parking lot. They make sure there are no dog droppings, then lay down in the grass, looking up at the blue sky and the clouds going overhead.
“I thought it’d be nice to get a little more sun before we have to get back in the tank,” says Mikey, limbs splayed out in every direction. He’s taken off his hoodie - no one at the travel center has paid much attention to the peeks of green skin they’ve been showing off, and no one is nearby right now, anyway.
It is a little hot. But the idea of being shirtless where a stranger can see him keeps Leo fully swaddled.
He pushes that thought aside, closing his eyes and just trying to enjoy the feeling of the sun on his skin, the breeze blowing by, the grass under his fingers. He doesn’t get to touch a lot of grass in the city, but it reminds him of times they would sneak out to Central Park.
“This is really nice, Angelo,” he says. “Thanks.”
“Mmhmmm.”
They’re quiet for a few minutes, just laying there, with only the ambient sounds of the travel center keeping them company. Leo starts to feel like he might doze off again.
“…Hey Leo?”
Leo blinks his eyes open, craning his neck to see Mikey. “Yeah?”
“Are you… okay?”
Ah. Maybe he should have expected this.
“Of course I’m okay,” he says, voice nonchalant. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Uh, well…” Mikey hesitantly trails off, clearly trying to decide what he wants to say.
Leo takes care of it for him. “It’s over, Mikey. You guys saved me. I’m okay.” He turns his head and grins. “And once Draxum stops being the food police, everything will be back to normal.”
“Mmm…” Mikey doesn’t sound as convinced as he should. Man, Leo’s smiles are really failing him lately. “But… if something’s bothering you… You’ll tell us, right?”
Leo pats his head. “Of course I will.”
If it’s worth bringing up to them, anyway.
Mikey’s eyes rove his face for a moment, but in the end he must be satisfied, because he smiles and rolls to toss his arm over Leo’s chest. “Okay. But I’ll hold you to that.”
“Or what, I’ll get a visit from the doctor?”
“You know it!”
Leo laughs, which gets Mikey laughing. They stay there until Raph calls their names across the parking lot, and they go back to the tank.
-----
He manages to stay awake after they stop for lunch, curled up on the bench seat. He doesn’t have the energy to talk as much as normal, but he leans against Donnie and contributes where he can. He’s just happy to be back with them, hearing and seeing them all around him.
But there’s something always at the back of his mind keeping him from fully relaxing: he doesn’t know when he gets to eat next. And he knows it will be okay - he’s with his family, and they’d never let him go hungry. He knows that, but about two and a half hours after lunch, he keeps finding himself returning to the same thought.
He’s drinking on a sugar-free Gatorade they got him at the travel center; one of the only non-vegetable or fruit drinks Draxum approved. Mikey has just finished up a story from one of the many art vlogs he watches, and, in the lag of conversation, he tries to broach the subject casually.
“Sooo… what’s our plan for the rest of the drive? Are we stopping, or…?”
“We’re going to try to make it all the way back to New York,” says April. “We already have our shifts picked out, and the autopilot is helping.”
“We can stop in a few more hours for another bathroom break,” says Donnie, pulling up a holoscreen showing their route and the drive time remaining. “Unless someone needs us to stop sooner.” He glances at Leo, and the way he’s bouncing the rim of the bottle off his teeth.
“Oh, uh, I’m good,” he says quickly, lowering the bottle. "I'm just wondering, uh... what about stopping for dinner?"
His family does about as good a job being subtle about looking at each other as he's being subtle about his worry. "We were thinking we'd probably try to find something around seven," says Donnie.
Seven. It's a little after three now. Okay. He can wait that long. What's four hours? And at least he knows what to expect now.
His family hesitantly return to their conversation. And Leo does his best to pay attention. April is telling them about all the stuff she's been doing to prepare for college in the fall, how she's already chatting with people running the student paper. She's excited about it, and Leo is excited for her.
"Ew, Leo," says Donnie suddenly, tearing him out of his thoughts. "Why are you doing that?"
Leo looks over at him in confusion. He starts to ask, Doing what?, but when he opens his mouth to speak, something falls out of his teeth and into his lap.
It's the Gatorade bottle cap, chewed down flat. Leo can see the marks from where his molars snapped through the lip, and the dents where he's been gnawing at it with his incisors.
He didn't even know he was doing that.
Everyone saw him doing that.
Embarrassment flushes through him, and he scrambles to grab the lid and toss it into their communal trash sack. Maybe no one noticed how thoroughly he had chewed on it.
"Gross," says Donnie, his nose scrunched up. So at the very least he saw. "You don't know where that's been."
"Oh please, it's not that gross," says Leo, doing his best to keep his voice light and airy. "It's just a bottle cap."
"That other people have touched and that you put into your mouth."
"Don't knock it till you try it, bro."
"I'm good not trying it."
"Your loss," says Leo with a shrug. He leans back, cool and calm and collected and not a total weirdo who gnaws on plastic like it's candy. "Stop looking at me like that, I threw it away already."
Donnie stops looking at him, literally. Things feel tense again. Leo doesn’t know how he keeps managing that.
Mikey jumps up, walking to the front of the tank, where Draxum is asleep in one of the chairs. Mikey shakes him awake, smiling in the face of his annoyed grumbling.
“Hey, Barry, is it okay if Leo has a snack?”
“Why do you have to ask him?” calls Leo, folding his arms. “Besides, I’m fine!”
His protests go ignored. “What time is it?” asks Draxum, sitting up and smoothing down his robes.
“I’m fine!” insists Leo, louder.
“It’s three fifteen,” Mikey says.
“Mm… Yes, he can have a snack.” Draxum gets up, going over to their snack cooler. “Leonardo, do you want crackers or more banana?”
“I’m fine!” Leo tries one more time, but his stomach flips when it occurs to him that he may actually not get a snack if he insists, and he wants the snack.
He sighs, sinking back in his seat, and says, “Crackers.” He wants the crunch of eating them.
Draxum brings him his crackers. There’s only four. He’s not sure why he’s getting less this time. Maybe because he was caught chewing on the lid.
He doesn’t ask. He eats what he’s been given, and then decides the best thing for everyone would be if he took another nap.
-----
Raph would have driven them all the way to New York if he’d been allowed. But they insist on having him swap with Donnie, and he ends up sitting in the back on the benches with because the other front chairs are hard for him to fit in.
Leo is asleep. He’s been sleeping a lot, but that’s to be expected. His body barely has any energy, and going by the dark circles, Raph knows he didn’t get much sleep while he was…
When Leo is awake, his family are their lively selves, chatting and laughing and enjoying each other’s company. Once he goes to sleep, everyone quiets down, Donnie dims the lights in the cab, and a weird melancholy sets in.
Leo looks terrible. They haven’t talked about it, but they all know it. Raph is shocked Leo has even been able to walk on his own, but Draxum attributes that to their reinforced mutant biology. He’s swimming in a hoodie that is his size, his hands and feet are skeletal where they poke out of his clothes. Raph wonders how long it will take for him to start filling out again, to have muscle like he did before. He’s afraid to ask.
Splinter sits with Leo’s head in his lap, rubbing his shell any time he shifts in his sleep. Mikey curls up against Raph and sniffles, and Raph pulls him closer.
He has to keep reminding himself that Leo is here, and safe. He just ate a snack, and soon they’ll get another meal in him. Just give it a week or two, and they’ll have their brother back.
And then, he’ll make sure Leo knows he never has to sacrifice himself again.
-----
Home looks just like Leo remembered it, and feels totally foreign at the same time.
His family clap for him as he walks in, and he does a little bow, which is a poor decision because it leaves him feeling lightheaded after. Luckily Raph is there to catch him and carry him from the garage to the chair in the living room. Things are still weird between them, but at least Raph isn't totally avoiding him.
(Raph still hasn't yelled at him. He wishes they could just get it over with.)
They eat lunch, with Leo getting bland soup and crackers again. Draxum notes that he could have peanut butter if they could have it in the lair, which makes Raph look pointlessly guilty, so Leo changes the subject. After lunch, April gives him a big hug and tells him she'll see him soon, but she has to go back home before her mom gets too worried. Leo feels bad when he learns she's missed several days of class now, but she just laughs and pats his head.
"I'm a senior and it's May, Leo; that I show up at all is enough for them."
Everyone's tired from being on the road for over twenty four hours, so after April leaves they unanimously agree on a movie marathon/turtle pile in the living room. His brothers drag out their comfiest pillows and blankets and set up in the floor, while Splinter cuddles up with Leo in his recliner. Draxum actually stays, to everyone's surprise, and Mikey jumps at the opportunity to introduce him to the magic of Lou Jitsu and Jupiter Jim.
Leo drifts in and out the whole evening. He'll be awake for the whole first act of a movie, then blink and suddenly they're partway through a different film. Each time he wakes his dad is there, patting his hand and saying, "Hello, Blue," and his brothers are around him, quoting their favorite lines or jumping up to act along with their favorite parts. It's normal and it's familiar and it's warm and soft.
He eats more soup for dinner, and crackers and banana and a little pudding cup, as a treat. His family gets more sleepy as evening turns to night; his dad's snoring fills the room, and Draxum finally leaves to go to his apartment. His brothers settle in and fall asleep around the middle of Jupiter Jim's Last Trip to the Moon 17, curled up in a heap at the foot of the chair.
He's home.
He's really home.
It's over.
Leo buries his face in his dad's fur and lets that thought carry him to sleep.
-----
Leo's home and it's amazing.
Raph wishes that meant everything was back to normal.
He doesn't know how to be around Leo right now. Every time he looks at him, he sees the stick thin arms and the gaunt face and he hears Leo's voice saying, That's not what a hero would do, and he doesn't know what to say anymore. What if he accidentally says something that makes Leo feel like what happened to him was right? What if he accidentally makes Leo think he should do it again?
It's only been a day, he tries to tell himself. Leo's still spending most of his time sleeping, between his regular snacks and meals. Even when he's awake, he doesn't have much energy for conversation, seeming content to just sit and listen to everyone else. It's just not the right time. It'll get better once Leo is better.
He can wait until then.
It's the afternoon now, the day after they brought Leo home. Raph just finished his workout and is making his rounds to check on everyone, just to make sure that everyone is... well, just to make sure. Splinter is in the kitchen making tea, a kind with no caffeine or sugar, as per Draxum's instructions. Mikey and Leo are in the living room, a half-asleep Leo watching Mikey play video games on the projecter.
Donnie isn't there.
His heart lurches, no matter how much he tells himself it's okay. Donnie is fine, Donnie is home, Donnie hasn't gone missing, not right after they got Leo back.
(He'd tried to tell himself Leo was fine in the beginning, too.)
He checks their rooms first, but Donnie's is empty. Then it's up to the lab, where he finds the door closed.
He knocks, and a robotic voice asks for identification. He sighs, not wanting to play this game right now.
"Donnie, it's me. You better be in there..."
The door beeps and then slides up, revealing a dimly lit lab. At first, Raph thinks he must not be here, and he's about to turn to leave, but then he hears a noise from Donnie's big computer desk.
A sniffle.
His big brother senses shifting into hyperdrive, he speed-walks over. The door slides shut behind him with a mechanical whir.
Sure enough, Donnie is there, legs pulled up into his desk chair, face buried in his knees. His goggles are off and laying on the desk, and his computer monitor shows a video, frozen on...
A white room, almost empty, save the cot that is for some reason propped up in front of the toilet, and...
Donnie sniffles again, and Raph tears his eyes away from one little brother to the other.
"Donnie...? What is this?"
Donnie sniffs and sits up a little more, rubbing under his eyes where tear tracks are already drying. "It's the surveillance video from the EPF base."
Raph gathered that much. "Why... are you watching it?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Donnie looks up at him. "I wanted to see what they did to him."
"You couldn't just ask him?"
Donnie's drawn on eyebrows go down. "I don't know, do you want to ask him?"
Raph imagines trying to ask Leo questions like that and can't help but cringe. "Okay, no. Raph doesn't want to do that."
"Exactly." Donnie gestures at the screen. "I got this footage from the base. And I erased it permanently from their systems, for the record, and destroyed the hard drives to be sure. But I kept a copy for us. I thought, if Leo wasn't in a state to... well, just in case. We might need it for medical reasons."
"But we know what's wrong with him," Raph points out.
"Do we?"
"Uh, yeah." Raph nods. "Starvation... right?"
"Well, yes." Donnie drums his fingers on the table. "But... he's different, now. He's pretending he's not, and he's doing his normal Leo thing of joking and smiling, but... he is." Donnie scowls. "And I already asked Michael to confirm my suspicions, and he said so, too, so I know this isn't me overreacting!"
"Okay, okay!" Raph holds up his hands placatingly. "So you wanted to watch the footage to see what happened. What'd you find out?"
Donnie wilts, resting his chin on his knees. "I couldn't get further than the first twenty four hours."
Raph feels a foreboding chill run over his spine. "You couldn't... or you didn't want to?"
Donnie reaches over and presses a button. The footage shifts to a different angle, so now he can see the wall Leo was curled up against. Donnie runs the footage back at a fast speed, and Raph watches as Leo gets up a few times, disappearing into the blind spot of the camera, or going to grab water from a little slot by the door, until Donnie freezes on a new scene: the wall opening up to reveal a large window.
He leans forward, putting his hands on the desk. "Raph saw that - they were watching his cell through that."
"Yes. And he would sit in that spot," Donnie runs the footage forward a bit, to where Leo is sitting against the now white wall, "because it's in a blind spot to the window."
Raph grimaces. "He didn't want them watching him."
"But it didn't matter," says Donnie, and he reaches over and taps the button to go to a new angle... and again... and again. "They have every inch of the room covered."
Raph's heart sinks. "Does he know?"
"Leo's not dumb," says Donnie, a magnanimous statement coming from him. "He knew they had to be watching him with cameras."
"But he still tried to hide..."
"He was doing whatever he had to to feel better," concludes Donnie.
Raph sighs. "I wonder if it worked."
Donnie clicks another button, and the video player closes. He swivels his chair to face Raph, his eyes shiny again.
"I don't want to watch anymore," he admits.
Raph nods. "I wouldn't want to, either."
"No, I mean... because he was trying to hide." Donnie rubs at his eyes again. "Maybe it is a little ironic for me to be saying this, but... it feels like it would be a privacy violation."
Raph turns that over. Maybe knowing what happened to Leo could help them. But what Donnie is saying feels more important.
He puts his hand on Donnie's shoulder, the part that's bare past his battleshell, and gives it a rub. "You love him and you don't want to hurt him," he concludes.
Donnie sniffles again, and then uncurls himself, putting his legs down on the ground. He doesn't have to do more than that for Raph to catch on, and Raph scoops Donnie up into a hug that is quickly returned.
"...I keep hurting him," Donnie admits, resting his head on Raph's shoulder. "I don't know how, but it keeps happening."
"...Yeah, well, join the club," says Raph sadly. He pats at Donnie's back. "Raph can't seem to say the right thing, either."
Donnie laughs miserably. "I thought getting him back would be the hard part. And then everything would go back to normal."
"Yeah..." Raph gives him a tight squeeze. "But you know what April said?"
"What?"
"That we'll do the hard part, 'cause we love him."
"Well, April is the only other smart one in this family," says Donnie, and Raph gives him a noogie with no actual pressure.
"Everything will be okay," he says. "Raph promises."
That seems to calm Donnie down. Raph just hopes he can actually keep it.
-----
It's his first night back in his room, and for the first time since escaping, Leo can't sleep.
He doesn't know why he can't. The sheets are the same as always. The dim lights from outside his subway car filter in through the windows the same as they used to. He's wearing his favorite pajamas, which have pants and long sleeves. The temperature is warm but not too hot. Conditions are perfect.
But he can't sleep.
At first he thought maybe it's because he's alone for the first time, but he doesn't think it's that. In fact, the idea of going to one of his brothers or his dad makes him feel even more exhausted. He loves them and he loves being around them, but he's had to work hard all day to not seem too weird. He caught himself chewing his spoon at lunch and had to stop. He paced the kitchen until Draxum gave the okay for him to have a snack. Mikey poked his head in while he was changing shirts earlier and he froze up, deer in the headlights. In the end, he went to the bathroom to change, because at least there aren't windows in there.
He's being weird, and trying to not be weird is taking all his energy.
So no. He's okay being alone right now. But something is still bothering him.
It's not the bed; he slept in the motel just fine. It's not the temperature, because they're making sure the lair stays nice and warm for him. And it's not the clothes, because the clothes are covering him up. And it's not the windows because it's not even like anyone is looking through them.
Right?
It's only then that Leo realizes he keeps staring out of them.
He tears his eyes away to look at the ceiling, taking deep breaths. What is he worried about? So what if the train car is full of windows? Who would even be looking at him? It's just his family outside, and if they need to talk to him they'll come in.
Besides, the windows are see-through. If someone were looking at him, he'd be able to see them.
Just to reassure himself of that, Leo looks around at all the windows again.
Yep. Still see-through. So it's fine. It's really not a big deal! No one is going to look through the windows at him here. No one is watching him. He's safe, and if he weren't, he would know, because he can see.
...Maybe he could hide under his bed.
Leo gives his head a hard shake. No. He is not going to hide under his bed, because that would be weird, and Leonardo Hamato is not weird.
Maybe he can just... put up some curtains in his room. Just, purely for aesthetic reasons. Yeah, that would look really cool. He could get some blue ones with some kind of sick design. Add some real originality to this place.
And then he could cover the windows and no one could look in unless he wanted them to.
Not that anyone is looking in, because he's home and he's safe and he's okay and he really wants to hide under his bed-
He takes deep breaths. His eyes land on the posters on the wall of the train car.
Maybe... maybe they would look better over the windows. Just... aesthetically.
He moves the posters to the windows of the train car, pressing hard to get the old tape to stick. It covers the immediate windows around his bed, but there are still others, and they're more in the dark, so Leo can't see who might be out there.
Not that anyone would be.
But if someone were, he wouldn't be able to know.
So he grabs towels next, and t-shirts, and anything he has lying around his room, and puts them on the bed. Then he sneaks to the kitchen to find a roll of masking tape.
It's not easy, but after about an hour he's managed to cover every window in the train car with something.
Just... a preview. For how sweet the curtains are going to look. And not for any weird reasons, like being scared.
Because he's not scared. He's home, and he's safe, and no one is watching him from outside the windows.
He lays down in bed and surveys his handwork. The room is even darker now, with every window covered, completely different from the stark ever-present light in that place.
It makes him feel safe and hidden.
No one can look in, and he's shielded by the dark.
(He has no idea how he's going to explain this tomorrow.)
But when he finally shuts his eyes, he sleeps like a baby.
-----
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 (here) | Part 4 (not yet out)
#rottmnt#dandy fanfiction#room fic#rise leo#rise raph#rise splinter#rise donnie#rise mikey#rise april#baron draxum#cw internalized ableism#cw vomit
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being so normal (18+)
a continuation of this series of blurbs (untitled, adidas, puppy grin)
contains: steve x reader; shy!reader; reader with a vagina; gender neutral pronouns used for reader, but good girl is used once; oral; fingering; blue balls :/
you really shouldn’t have smoked. but when eddie offers it for free, you take it.
because now you can’t stop looking at steve. you’re fixated on him like a moth to a flame. he’s the only thing in the entire bowling alley you care about. maybe if you were sober that would scare you - but also, if you were sober, you wouldn’t be looking.
everyone’s talking about something. steve included. you watch his brows furrow gently while jonathan tells a story about getting too stoned in california. how his pink lips quirk up and then fall flat again. his brown eyes all soft before they narrow when robin makes a joke at his expense.
and his nose. it slopes downward so straight. like it was sculpted. pink from the alcohol beginning its course through his system. there’s a tiny little freckle on his nostril that you want to kiss.
you want to kiss him. it’s so overwhelming that it’s almost painful. you’d love nothing more than to crawl over the table separating you and kiss him til he’s breathless. til his face is red and his pupils are blown. til his hands grip bruises into your hips. til there’s spit trailing between you two. til it trails down lower, down towards your aching, needy -
you’re snapped out of it when eddie slams his ringed hand down on the table in front of you, making you jump.
your brows crinkle together comically slow. you feel like you just woke up. “huh?”
“does steve have somethin’ on his face?” eddie asks again, smiling big.
“i don’t see anything,” jonathan adds.
you falter. “what?”
it must be physically painful for steve to not look smug over this. you wonder if he knows you were staring. his eyes meet yours and you feel dizzy all over again, so needy and so yet nearly fearful of his attention.
he’s a much better actor than you.
steve waves his hand, looking away from you, brown eyes focusing on the bar. “we all stare when we’re stoned.”
“maybe i just think he looks funny,” you finally say, which seems to be sufficient enough. eddie guffaws loud enough to hear over the music and jonathan slaps steve’s back.
“i’m gonna get you for that,” steve says, in a tone so casual it shouldn’t make your stomach flip, but it still finds a way to.
“gonna make them car sick again?” nancy asks. her eyes feel like they’re boring into the side of your face. like she knows something. it makes sweat bead at your hairline, pulse quickening when she raises her brows at you for a second.
and as the men leave to get drunker, nancy and robin sit staring at you. you play with the sweating edge of your glass of ginger ale, bouncing your leg.
robin’s the first person to break the silence. she swats at you, expression somehow irritated and elated. “how stupid do you think we are?”
“what are you talking about?” you deadpan.
“come on,” nancy huffs.
you point to the monitor above your table. “it’s your turn, rob.”
“how long have you been sleeping together?” nancy presses.
you gawk and you hope, despite knowing that nancy wheeler is the smartest person in a one hundred mile radius, that she’s falling for your innocence. “why on earth do you think we’re…?”
“oh, seriously?” robin scoffs. “you can’t even say ‘fuck’?”
“no, really,” you urge, knee bouncing faster. “why do you think we’re doing something?”
“you’ve been getting rides from him,” nancy points out.
“he has driven me somewhere three times in six months,” you amend.
this seems to make them short circuit, opening their mouths to protest but unable to find any ammo. you’re pleased with this.
“and by your logic, then robin must be having sex with eddie.”
robin groans, repulsed. “that’s gross!”
“how do you think i feel?”
“then why were you staring at him?” nancy asks.
you reach for your ginger ale, taking a long sip. “he’s cute,” you settle on. “so what?”
“if you aren’t doing something, do you want to?” robin continues. “i can, like, totally help you out here if you do.”
“robin,” you grit. “enough.”
as grueling as it is, at the very least, this behavior reinforces why you didn’t want to share your situation with steve in the first place. everyone is so nosy - and the only one who really has a right to be is robin. if you’d let it slip that you were being intimate with steve, she’d be furious that he didn’t tell her. but this makes you feel worse for hiding it, and you feel a little sick as you take another swig of your drink.
“well, if you’re not doing anything,” nancy says slowly. “and if his driving made you sick, and that’s why you pulled over, then you wouldn’t mind jonathan and i taking you home. right?”
you blink. “right,” you reply after a pause.
she stares, unwavering. trying to make you break. “so jonathan and i will take you home, then.”
you nod. “right,” you repeat.
nancy’s so goddamn petty, you think, watching robin finally get up to bowl. totally ruining your impending orgasm, again, just to prove herself right. you were so looking forward to riding steve’s nose. you try your best to not look irritated as the game continues, even as the boys come back, eyes ignoring steve’s - well, ignoring steve’s everything. you act like his entire existence is meaningless to you until he finds you in the hallway leading to the bathrooms, half drunk and messy.
“heyheyheyheyhey,” he coos, grabbing you by the waist, pulling you in to his chest. your body becomes overwhelmingly hot at his attention all over again. "c'mere."
"steve," you squeak, "we can't -!"
but he pulls you into the bathroom anyway, pressing you against the door and twisting the lock until it clicks. his mouth is on yours before you can protest, kissing long and sweet and serene. you melt for half a second before turning your head to the side.
"steve," you breathe, grabbing onto his shirt while his lips trail down your neck. "steve, we can't - they're on to us -"
"i know," he says between kisses, annoyed. "jon and eddie wouldn't shut up about it."
you open your mouth to protest but a moan comes out instead.
“oh, there?” he asks, breathless, attaching his lips to your sweet spot.
“steve,” you moan, breathy and low. “we can’t - they’ll - they’ll kn-know -“
he sighs and pulls away, pouting. “what were you looking at me for earlier?”
you’re a little speechless under his gaze. “why do you think?” you whisper.
he licks his lips. “i think someone here’s upset they didn’t get to cum.” one hand rests firmly on your hip, the other snaking around to the small of your back.
you’re trapped. deliciously so.
“and i think you were thinkin’ about how good my nose feels on your clit.”
you shiver, staring at the collar of steve’s shirt.
“that true?” he asks softly.
“not - not totally.”
“well, do you want that?” his thumb plays with the waistband of your skirt, clawing at it, wanting in. “want me to make out with your pretty pussy again?”
overwhelmed, your eyes fall shut. “nancy - nancy’s taking me home.”
steve falters, eyes going soft. “is everything okay?”
“she’s on to us,” you repeat. “thinks if we aren’t doing anything then i wouldn’t mind going home with her. so - yes, i’d really love that, but i don’t think tonight-“
but steve drops to his knees, like you aren’t in a public restroom. his hands push your skirt up, exposing your still drenched underwear to him. you open your mouth to ask what the hell he thinks he’s doing, but his tongue is on you before you’re able to finish your thought.
“oh!”
steve’s fingers keep your underwear pushed off to the side - his prize of the night now stolen from him. if he could, he’d send you back out there with your pussy on display, your underwear tucked safely into his back pocket. but he’s a gentleman, so he resigns himself to snag a pair from you next time.
he always assumes there’s a next time.
“we - they’ll - find out,” you pant, knees weak, your hands reaching down to push his hair away from his face.
steve laughs, pulls away, licks his lips. “do you really think i can’t make you cum in five minutes?”
you hold onto his hair in a white knuckled grip, tugging, listening to him pant and moan beneath you. his tongue licks delicately up your folds before he sucks at your clit, kissing it, flicking his tongue out. then he ducks down a bit, lets his nose rub against your swollen bud while his tongue fucks you.
“oh my god,” you moan, eyes rolling.
“do you want them to know?” he asks, voice thick with you.
you realize you’re being too loud, but it’s impossible not to be. steve brings you to rapture in ways you never thought possible. you never thought it was possible with him. his pretty face between your thighs begs for you to praise it, to let everyone in this goddamn dive know what he’s doing to you.
“you have three minutes,” you shoot back, panting.
“yeah?” he presses a kiss to your folds. “aren’t i supposed to make you pay for teasin’ me earlier?”
white hot electric shoots through you. “n- no.”
steve laughs, raising a hand so his thumb can rub circles into your clit. you sigh, trying desperately to still your shaking legs. “don’t have to let you cum, y’know. could just wait and see how desperate you can get for me. see if i can get you to hump my leg.”
he doesn’t need three minutes. he needs one more minute, needs his dirty mouth running, needs to make you feel like a pervert, and that’s all it takes. his mouth engulfs you just as you’re cumming, lapping you up, moaning as he tastes you.
“shit,” he gasps, pulling away, chest heaving. “wish i had an hour with you.”
you still don’t look at him as you ask, “what would you do if you had an hour?”
“stretch you out on my fingers,” steve answers immediately. “wanna see how well you could take ‘em if we had the time. if that’s okay,” he adds.
you nod, swallowing hard, dizzy. “that would be very okay.”
“you think i could?” he’s still not getting up. “you’re so tight on my tongue, bet it’d take an hour to get two fingers in you.”
but he’s going to try now, his fingers creeping back up your thighs and between them where you’re sensitive and halfway to dripping.
“we don’t have an hour,” you remind him.
steve just hums, using his free hand to part your legs. he’s begging with his eyes. “but we have a minute, right?”
your head falls back against the door with a quick mhm.
“you’re so cute,” he muses, the tip of his middle finger teasing your entrance. “so beautiful, you know that?”
you want to scream. “i did not.”
“must not tell you enough then, huh?” if you looked down you’d see the absolute adoration in his eyes. “sorry about that, angel.”
steve still isn’t trying to push inside of you. he’s just watching, staring up at your pretty face, the way it twists, your lip quivering. it’s so fun to play with you. he could do this all night but he knows he has about five more seconds until you remind him of the time again.
“please?” you finally whimper.
“good girl,” he beams, sliding his finger inside of you, nice and slow. it’s a stretch for certain, making your mouth fall open in silent rapture. steve drinks you up, afraid to blink and miss something. “so tight, honey. don’t think i’ll ever be able to fuck you.”
you clench around him. “you want to?”
“do you?”
you nod, suffocating.
“yeah?” he says softly, pumping his finger once, twice, in and out of you. “gonna need more space than the car.”
you really aren’t listening. you nod vaguely, trying not to be too needy and roll your hips downwards.
his movements still. “what if i came over tonight?”
now you’re listening. you let your chin fall forward to look at him. “really?”
“yeah.” his hair bobs as he nods, his face turning pink. “get to take my time with you.”
“nancy’s taking me home,” you remind him.
“i’ll come after you’re dropped off. if you want.”
you nod quickly. “mhm. yeah. i do.”
it’s a major loss when he slides his finger out of you, but the sweet kiss he gives you makes up for it.
“clean up,” he says gently. “i’ll be out here.”
your eyes follow his fingers the rest of the night.
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gojo satoru masterlist !
* fluff ^ angst
— all for my angel boy <3
main masterlist
* boyfriend!gojo hcs
* rainy evenings
in which gojo gets himself caught in the rain
* christmas cuddles
gojo finds his place in the universe
* arcades
arcades are scams, he knows, but dammit gojo will win you that prize
* flowers
gojo is a self-certified flower enthusiast
* periods
gojo is an angel on earth when you get your period
* sugar rush ride
gojo loves sugar, and you’re too sweet to resist
* priorities
gojo has his priorities straight: you’ll always be the most important
* rough day
gojo will always cheer you up after a rough day
* mornings
satoru loves mornings with you
* egg hunting
gojo’s never been easter egg hunting, you decide it’s time for the famous bunny to pay him a visit
* sunday love
sundays with gojo are slow and sweet
* grocery shopping headcanons
*^ jealousy, jealousy
the worst part of dating gojo? how often he gets hit on
* movie night
satoru gojo has developed a new weakness: romcoms
* migraine
gojo helps ease the pain of your migraine
* picnics
in which mother nature decides picnics are no good without a little rain
* after like
you and satoru say the L word
* my you
gojo learns he loves stargazing
* titles
in which gojo realizes you truly see him
* going to an observatory
* costume parties
* a scenic drive with him
* time
gojo will always make sure you’re taken care of
*^ hugs
“can i hug you? you look like you could do with it”
* sweet nothing
gojo always finds himself running home to you
* clean linen
gojo’s second favorite smell is your laundry detergent
* untitled
the last person you expect to patch you up is gojo satoru, so why are you knocking on his door?
* azul
when you think of love, you think of the color blue
* oranges
gojo knows how to peel oranges
* pretty boy
gojo has to let you know how much you mean to him
* sick
gojo’s favorite hobby is being your personal nurse
* scrapbooks
satoru isn’t a sentimental person, until he is
*^ nightmares
satoru has nightmares, but also long as you’re by his side he knows he’ll be okay
* easy
loving is easy when it’s gojo satoru
*^ scars
gojo learns to love the scars on his body
*^ arguments
arguments are never nice, but at least they help you grow
* birthmarks
even in his past lives, satoru was always loved
* pizza time!
or the one time satoru tries to make pizza from scratch and is effectively banned from ever trying again
* mistletoe-go
satoru comes up with a new Christmas tradition
* new year, new superstition
whoever said wearing red on new years brought love was onto something
* kisses
satoru always makes sure your lips are well kissed
* f1 racer!satoru hc’s
* to love is to linger
* cereal, soup and other deep questions
* “what do you think you’d be doing if we never met?”
* “you’re bleeding!” “I was trying to cut the tomatoes!”
* “i have a meeting in an hour! get out of the bathroom!”
* “you’re my everything”
* "what do you mean you've never gone trick-or-treating?!"
* going to the fair hcs
* collegebf!satoru
* study buddy!satoru
* birthday special <3
* satoru loves yapping [to you]
* drabble #1
* drabble #2
* drabble #3
* drabble #4
* drabble #5
* drabble #6
* drabble #7
* drabble #8
* drabble #9
* drabble #10
* drabble #11
* drabble #13
* drabble #14
* drabble #15
* drabble #16
* drabble #17
* drabble #18
* drabble #19
* drabble #20
* drabble #21
* drabble #22
* drabble #23
* drabble #24
* drabble #25
* drabble #26
* drabble #27
* drabble #28
* drabble #29
* drabble #30
* drabble #31
* drabble #32
* drabble #33
* drabble #34
* drabble #35
* drabble #36
* drabble #37
* drabble #38
* drabble #39
* drabble #40
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Wip game
Black Smoke Custody
I couldn't decide which one to ask about since I love all your fics so I used an rng to pick one. It's been a while since I've seen you mention this one though so anything you can say about it would be great!
Oh, Blank Smoke Custody! An old darling. It feels like a life time ago now, this idea. I would still love to write it, but it might become a shorter little thing and some of the large dadentine vibes might end up in the still untitled 'tired dads'.
I have rewritten the starting of this fic several times, honestly. But ah I still love visuals of it so much
There was a popping sound from the kid— like a log snapping in a bonfire— and the smoke flared red with hot ash as it drifted off the being. They curled up on themselves, wrapping around their legs as their body seemed to dissolve. In the center of their chest a ball of bright, burning light flickered.
Constantine moved quickly, crouching down in front of the kid’s chair, blocking the screen from view.
There's also this silly bit
Everyone froze, staring at each other.
There was a kid in the House of Mystery. He was just standing there in the hall like it was nothing. Like he belonged.
He looked like he could have been one of the Bats with his black hair and striking blue eyes. Slowly, the kid lowered the sandwich that was half way to his mouth. Without taking his eyes off the heroes, he called over his shoulder. “John! You have guests.”
Wonder Woman took a step forward.
The kid took a step back and disappeared.
The only sign that he had been there was a lettuce leaf fluttering to the ground.
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Untitled 259
Ohh yes, I have some pretty vivid fun dreams I like to write and draw sometimes. I wrote this in the 3rd person but for the first part I was Leo. Ignore the grammar mistakes lol im not much of a writer
Leo had broken his leg and arm during one of his usual episodic adventures and needed a crutch made for him (thanks Don). Despite being injured, he ventured into the sewers with Mikey for fun but they stumbled upon mutant Krang animals that had spread like crazy in the hidden parts of the city after the invasion.
One of the Krang dogs sprinted forward. Mikey pushed Leo out of the way making him stagger and drop his crutch. By the time Leo looked back up, the krang had already surrounded Mikey. The small turtle trips back unfocused on the krang goop on the floor. The moonless sewers was lit up by the dogs mutated eyes as it narrows in on Mikey.
Leo’s ninpo hummed sending sparks across his face, he snatches up his crutch and held it above him like a sword, the arc creating a crescent moon
Feeling unsteady without the crutches support, his ninpo lifted him up, off of the floor near a bright red ceiling light. The humming burned into his ears. With a force the red-eared slider hadn’t experienced before, he swung
(my pov changed to mikey)
A blue light swept over Angelo, a nostalgic feeling, and the bits of krang around him seemed to melt away. The dogs whined, hiding from the light and ran off.
Leo fell
His crutch clattered on the ground and splashed into the sewer,
Mikey rushed to stop his fall, catching him before he slammed onto the cold muddied floor. All that remained was the quiet drip drops of the sewer pipes and the flickering of the light overhead
(and then I woke up)
#staticwither art#wither wip game#rottmnt#save rottmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles fanart#tmnt leo#leonardo hamato#rise leo
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Behold, a bracket!
Text form below the cut because trying to copy all the 256 into the alt text sounded.... horrifying. Warning for 128 matchups, seriously, this list is long, and so I've avoided adding the artists until the polls.
a note: the pinned post has started misbehaving, so only open polls will be directly linked. closed polls instead have the results page linked in the set header, all the polls are linked from there
Set 1
The Lament for Icarus (Miao He) vs The Lament for Icarus (Herbert Draper)
The angel came to me in a fever hallucination, perched upon my bed as I returned from the bathroom. vs Sweet Brown Snail
Figures vs A Philosopher Lecturing on the Orrery
Happy Shoppers vs Hubble Deep Field
Lovers Painting vs Bath Curtain
Dr. Helen Taussig vs Une Martyre
Orangoutang étranglant un sauvage de Bornéo (Orangutan strangling a Borneo savage) vs Can’t Help Myself
Rape vs Technicolor Hiroshima
Set 2
A Walk at Dusk vs Based on “Autoportrait with the Model” by Maria-Rayevska Ivanova
Diary Page vs Les Jours Gigantesques (The Titanic Days)
Dead of Night vs You Won't
Christina's World vs Bobby
Untitled (I’m Turning Into A Specter Before Your Very Eyes And I’m Going To Haunt You) vs Two Sisters (On the Terrace)
Sharecropper vs Lustmord
The Parca and the Angel of Death vs Untitled (Zdzisław Beksiński)
Stress vs The Fallen Angel
Set 3
Device to Root Out Evil vs Travelling Light
Diana vs Fifty Days at Iliam: The Fire that Consumes All before It
The Plains, from Memory vs Exotic Bodies
Doubting Thomas vs Self-Portrait in the Bathroom Mirror
Empty Nest vs Somebody Fell From Aloft
Anguish vs If I Died
Cat in Obsolete Bath vs You're Not Boring Anymore
Salvator Mundi (Savior of the World) vs Untitled (billboard of an empty unmade bed)
Set 4
There Will Be No Miracles Here vs Symphony of the Sixth Blast Furnace
Fox Hunt vs Tarpaulin
Khajuraho Group of Monuments vs Ranakpur Jain Temple
ปราสาทสัจธรรม (The Sanctuary of Truth) vs Grande Panorama de Lisboa
Heroic Head of Pierre de Wissant, One of the Burghers of Calais vs The Weather
The Daughters of Edward Darley Boit vs If this is art
Statue of Vincent and Theo van Gogh vs Jeanne d’Arc écoutant les voix (Joan of Arc listening to the Voices)
Fountain vs Judith Slaying Holofernes
Set 5
Cueva de las Manos (Cave of Hands) vs Cave of El Castillo
Chauvet Cave Bear vs Uffington White Horse
Laocoön and His Sons vs Winged Victory of Samothrace
Crouching Aphrodite vs Statue of Taweret
Guardian Figure vs Kūya-Shonin (Saint Kuya)
Ancient Greek doll vs Arena #7 (Bears)
Enbu (炎舞) (Dancing in the Flames) vs Yearning Shadows
Belfast to Byzantium vs Freedom
Set 6
The Kama Sutra of Vatsyayan vs Portraits
The Blood Mirror vs Nighthawks
Electric Fan (Feel it Motherfuckers): Only Unclaimed Item from the Stephen Earabino Estate vs "Untitled" (Portrait of Ross in L.A.)
Lady Agnew of Lochnaw vs Forgotten Dreams
Saint Bride vs Pixeles (a group of 9 works)
War Pieta vs The Sunset
The Handmaidens of Sivawara Preparing the Sacred Bull at Tanjore for a Festival vs Ajax and Cassandra
Nāve (Death) vs Abstraction
Set 7
Yes vs Meeting on the Turret Stair
Hacked to Death II vs Stańczyk
Closeness Lines Over Time vs Voice of Fire
The Maple Trees at Mama, the Tekona Shrine and Tsugihashi Bridge vs Portrait of Sir Thomas More
Survival Series: In a Dream You Saw a Way vs Takiyasha the Witch and the Skeleton Spectre
Death blowing bubbles vs The Kitchen Table Series
Painting 1946 vs In the Grip of Winter
Untitled (Black and Gray) vs NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt
Set 8
Blue Plate Special vs Red Cedar
Palace of Fine Arts vs Mosque–Cathedral of Córdoba
Le Château des Pyrénées (The Castle of the Pyrenees) vs Susanna and the Elders, Restored - X-Ray
Moby Dick vs Viva la Vida, Watermelons
Venus Envy Chapter One (Of the First Holy Communion Moments Before the End) vs how to look at art
St. Sebastian vs Untitled #12
Carroña vs The invincible one
Untitled (Two Dogs) vs The Dog
SECOND HALF
Set 9
David (Donatello) vs David (Michelangelo)
The Other Side vs The Temptation of St. Jerome
Seated Woman with Bent Knees vs Starry Night
Headdress - Shadae vs Untitled for the Image Flow's Queer Conscience exhibit
Woman with Dead Child (Frau mit totem Kind) vs Les Amants (The Lovers)
Siroče na majčinom grobu (Orphan on Mother's Grave) vs You Make My World a Better Place to Find
Fighting Against SARS Memorial Architectural Scene (弘揚抗疫精神建築景觀) vs Fallingwater
Resting vs The Hull
Set 10
Olive Trees vs Worship
Glow vs Wheatfield with Crows
Study after Velázquez's Portrait of Pope Innocent X vs Untitled (He Plays Very Badly)
D.I.Y. by John Wiswell vs The Tragedy
Judith and the Head of Holofernes vs Beethovenfries (Beethoven Frieze)
The Memory of Me (How Could I Forget) vs oh god i had a really big epiphany about love and personhood but i’m too drunk for words
I am happy because everyone loves me vs 瀕危形態 (Endangered Forms)
Three Scaffolders vs Ivan the Terrible and His Son Ivan
Set 11
San Giorgio Maggiore at Dusk vs Water-Lilies, Reflection of a Weeping Willow
The Grief of the Pasha vs Monolith in Vigeland Sculpture Park
Passion vs Space Diner
Hamlet and Ophelia vs Two Earthlings
Ellen Terry as Lady Macbeth vs Seer Bonnets
Photograph from "SNAP OSAKA" Collection vs Clytemnestra after the Murder
“Untitled” (Perfect Lovers) vs The Lovers (TIE)
Kedai Ubat Jenun vs Orange Store Front
Set 12
The Apotheosis of War vs Portrait of the Dancer Aleksandr Sakharov
Julie Manet vs Mouth
The Icebergs vs Kaleidoscope Cats III
Maman vs Caza Nocturna (Night Hunt)
The Book of Kells Folio 188r: Luke carpet page vs Ardagh Chalice
Yusuf and Zulaikha vs Dome of the Rock mosaics
Rowan Leaves and Hole vs Untitled (prisonhannibal)
Le Désespéré (The Desperate Man) vs The Dedication
Set 13
Deimos vs Dog and Bridge
The Mocking of Christ vs Prudence
The Broken Column vs Siberian Ice Maiden shoulder tattoo
Transi de René de Chalon (Cadaver Tomb of René of Chalon) vs Head of Christ
The Day vs Spirit of Haida Gwaii
Eleanor Boathouse at Park 571 vs Jatiya Sangsad Bhaban জাতীয় সংসদ ভবন (National Parliament House)
Juventud de Baco (Bacchus Youth) vs Barges on the Seine
Oath of the Horattii closeup vs Visit hos Excentrisk Dam (Visit to an eccentric lady)
Set 14
Christ Crucified (With Donor) vs St. Francis
Thunder Raining Poison vs Piazza d'Italia
The Grove vs Among the Waves
Pintura Mural de Alarcón vs Sagrada Família stained-glass windows
Noonday Heat vs La Dame à la licorne (The Lady and The Unicorn)
Matroser i Gröna Lund (Sailors in Gröna Lund) vs Gielda Plakatu
Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks vs The Garden of Earthly Delights
Kuoleman puutarha (The Garden of Death) vs Haavoittunut enkeli (The Wounded Angel)
Set 15
i've wasted a lifetime pretending to be me vs da oracle
minus #37 vs Panel from Fun Home
Excerpt from illustrated edition of The Rime of the Ancient Mariner vs La Mort de Marat (The Death of Marat)
The Veil vs Düsseldorf 4 (Museum Kunst Palast)
Capriccio vs Zodiac calendar for La Plume
The official imperial portrait of empress dowager Cixi vs José y Maria
Blooming Lilacs vs Lágrimas De Sangre (Tears of Blood)
An Interlude vs Boy Staring at an Apparition
Set 16
Mermer Waiskeder: Stories of the Moving Tide vs The Gran Hotel Ciudad de México Art Nouveau interior
Unfinished Painting vs To Arms!
Memorial to a Marriage vs The Island
Dropping a Han Dynasty Urn vs A Few Small Nips
Saturn Devouring His Son vs Guernica
Fairy Princesses vs Lamentation over the Dead Christ
Mummy with An Inserted Panel Portrait of a Youth vs Little Girl Looking Downstairs at Christmas Party
Agnus vs The Cup Of His Murders Is Flowing Over And In His Coat Shall Be Many Curses
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new chapter of Sea Glass Promise (our jonmartin selkie au) is up!! i wanted to post the pictures here, im happy with how they turned out - martin's face in the last one is so cute and babby jon is even cuter <3
[Start ID: Five images of Jon and Martin from The Magnus Archives based off scenes from a selkie AU. Jon is a thin Persian man with short dark curly hair and a beard, both streaked with gray. He wears square framed glasses and has dark eyes. Martin is a fat mixed Korean/Polish man with short dark wavy hair and a beauty mark under his lip. He wears browline glasses in some pictures and has dark eyes, he also wears a blue sea glass necklace.
1st image: Jon is holding a book titled A Guest For Mr. Spider and looking at Martin with a horrified expression. He is wearing a white button up shirt rolled past his elbows. The book has a simplified black spider hanging upside down with a friendly fanged smile and is tipping a red bowler hat in greeting. Martin is holding a hand to his mouth and snickering at him in the right corner. the background is simple book shelves.
2nd image: Martin is flexing his right arm, looking down at his bicep with a proud smirk, his other hand is rolling up the sleeve of his white t-shirt. A couple diamond stars are in front of his eyes and there are three lines marking where he is flexing. Jon looks on with wide eyes and a blush, there is a white circle around his head to indicate he is thinking deeply about the sight. He is wearing a simple dark t-shirt that looks too big for him. The background is a dark window to the left with pattering rain outside, with otherwise light grey walls.
3rd image: Martin is dressed in a jean jacket and a striped shirt. He is smiling at a photo in his hand along with Jon's grandmother, Mrs. Sims, who is pointing at the photo. She is a thin, elderly Persian woman with rectangular glasses, dark eyes, and grey eyebrows. She is wearing a hijab patterned with flowers and a simple dark dress, as well as wearing dark lipstick. Jon is in the background thumping his head against a kitchen cabinet, his arms slack in front of him. He is wearing a dark v-neck shirt with sleeves rolled past his elbows and jeans with a belt. He looks very put off by the two looking at the photo. The background is a kitchen with a fridge on the left, a curtained window in the middle, and cabinets and countertop spanning the middle and right.
4th image: A close up of the photo from the previous image. It is of Jon as a child (around 6 years old), wearing oval shaped glasses and his hair is just past his shoulders. He is glaring up from a book he is reading while sitting in bed. The book is untitled but has a silhouette of a mouse on a broomstick on the cover, presumed to be some fantasy novel for children. He is wearing a plaid button up pajama shirt with matching pants. There is a plate of Jammie Dodgers (crimped cookies with a heart shaped hole for red jam in the middle) by his side and a teddy bear and lamp on his other side. A blanket is covering his feet and he is resting against a pillow. Martin's thumb is pressed into the corner to hold it.
5th image: Jon and Martin at sat across from each other at a circular table that is in front of a large window at a dessert cafe. Jon is wearing a plaid flannel with a dark shirt underneath, and is looking at Martin with shock, he is holding out a cup of rum raisin ice cream towards him. Martin is making a disgusted face and sticking his tongue out, he is holding a tiny spoon in his right hand and making a fist with his left. By his right hand, he has a cup of green tea ice cream. Outside the large window, there is a fuzzy outline of street lamps and a walkway railing. There appears to be scribbled writing on the window that is intended to represent the cafe's name. End ID.]
#the magnus archives#tma#tma au#tma selkie au#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#jonmartin#jmart#selkie!martin#order up! art tag
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Fic Master List
(Banner gif done by the amazing @britonell)
My AO3 profile:
It’s all BG3!!!
Holy fuck people made art 🥹:
Drunk Batstarion by @britonell
Eleanor by @lyzelky
Eleanor and Astarion, sitting on a bench by @britonell once again 💜
Eleanors! by @shierke
Astarion is trying to flirt (critical fail) commissioned by @sasseffects and drawn/rendered/colored by @squirrelcurls and @vipermenace
Snippets:
Tiddy Cuddles - actually SFW. Batstarion never walks anywhere ever again when he can get uppies.
One Shots (All of them are rated E):
Stuffing - an entry for Wanksgiving 2023, sexually explicit. Ties into Feeding Alligators.
All I Want for Solstice - happy holidays 2023, have some fluffy smut! Eleanor tries to spread holiday cheer. Astarion tries to spread Eleanor's legs. Rated very much E for explicit sexual content. Technically a two-shot, but whatev.
Valentine’s Day Special - Roses are red, violets are blue, blah blah I’d like to fuck you. Or: Astarion bought a toy. Eleanor wants to give him a night he won’t forget. ASTARION GETS PEGGED.
You Could Just Ask - Astarion is terrible about communicating what he wants. But Eleanor is getting good at translating gremlin. ASTARION GETS PEGGED AGAIN. The man is a MENACE.
Something Full-Bodied and Red - Aunt Flo comes to visit Eleanor. Astarion is thrilled to make her acquaintance.
Feeding Alligators:
Turns out, it’s not heart disease that gets you. Not a car crash, the second coming, or even a plain old slip in the shower that removes you from this mortal coil.
It’s motherfucking aliens.
Your Uncle Randy would be so proud.
Or: two losers cheat, stab, and flirt their way to a win.
Rated M for language, violence, and (very) eventual sexual content. Astarion/Named Tav with a backstory.
Updated every Wednesday and Saturday.
Chapter 1 - Naked and Afraid
Chapter 2 - Friendship is Magic
Chapter 3 - PANTS!
Chapter 4 - Man vs. Wild
Chapter 5 - First Blood
Chapter 6 - Skeletons!
Chapter 7 - Potion of Tongues
Chapter 8 - Mind Your Language
Chapter 9 - You're (not) a Wizard
Chapter 10 - Atelier
Chapter 11 - Murder Buddies
Chapter 12 - Hustle
Chapter 13 - Psycho
Chapter 14 - U.S. Foreign Policy
Chapter 15 - It's a Goddamn Cult
Chapter 16 - When Animals Attack
Chapter 17 - Panties!
Chapter 18 - Untitled Training Montage
Chapter 19 - Bite Night
Chapter 20 - The American Red Cross Association
Chapter 21 - I Got Better
Chapter 22 - Swamp People
Chapter 23 - Paranoia Agent
Chapter 24 - From Druids, With Love
Chapter 25 - Splitting Atoms
Chapter 26 - Gray's Anatomy
Chapter 27 - True Blood
Chapter 28 - The Art of War
Chapter 29 - Knives Out
Chapter 30 - Auntie Knows Best
Chapter 31 - The Bachelorette
Chapter 32 - Munchies
Chapter 33 - Dream Date
Chapter 34 - Fireside Chats
Chapter 35 - The Devil Wears Douchebag
Chapter 36 - Glee
Chapter 37 - Gaslight
Chapter 38 - Gatekeep
Chapter 39 - Girlboss
Chapter 40 - Mirror, Mirror
Chapter 41 - Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Chapter 42 - Slaughterhouse Four
Chapter 43 - The Proposition
Chapter 44 - Dance With the Devil in the Pale Moonlight (rating went up, new warnings apply).
Chapter 45 - Walk of Shame
Chapter 46 - Not Quiet on the Western Front
Chapter 47 - Soul Jar
Chapter 48 - Astarion and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
Chapter 49 - Idihwisvsga
Chapter 50 - The Smallest Ember
Chapter 51 - I Lived Bitch
Chapter 52 - Only I Will Remain
Chapter 53 - Goblintown
Chapter 54 - Get Outta My Swamp
Chapter 55 - Love Shack
Chapter 56 - This Bitch
Chapter 57 - Let the Bodies Hit the Floor
Chapter 58 - Behind Enemy Lines
Chapter 59 - Plans Within Plans
Chapter 60 - 1812
Chapter 61 - It Compels You Though
Chapter 62 - It's My Party
Chapter 63 - I'll Cry if I Want To
#baldur's gate 3#astarion#fanfic#it's a goddamn isekai#i'm not sorry#no betas we die like men#astarion x tav#slow burn#eventual idiots in love#baldurs gate iii#bg3#tav has backstory#plus size tav#demisexual tav#tavstarion#feeding alligators fic#astarion fanfic#modern girl in faerun
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*WIP THURSDAY*
I was tagged by the lovely @slippinninque and I'm happy to share some sneak peeks into my WIPs 📖
I have three recent WIPs (besides my series I am still working on), and I'm excited to list them here:
1. The Siren of Baker Street - Henry Cavill!Sherlock Holmes x Black!OFC (Explicit - smut) - Sherlock is enamored with a new client.
"Before she knew it, Pearl is kneeling next to Sherlock’s armchair. Her shivering hands reaching out to warm herself by the fire. Sherlock watches quietly as the fire illuminates her face in an ethereal glow. In contrast to the warmth of the fire, Sherlock is frozen in his spot as he contemplates his next move."
2. Untitled* - Soft!Dark!Lloyd Hansen x Chubby!Black!Fem!Reader (Explicit - smut/violence) - Lloyd deals with a toxic alpha male that is bothering you.
"He was always a fan of this outfit because it hugged all of your curves. The halter top accented your full breasts with a healthy amount of cleavage. The high-waisted fitted skirt showed off your wide hips and thick thighs and stopped just under your knee. A pair of stilettos, with a little buckle that Lloyd bends down to secure, completes the ensemble."
*This story is actually based on an ask i received (nonny, I love your ideas btw).
3. Don't Kill My Vibe - Henry Cavill!Clark Kent x BestFriend!Black!Fem!Reader (Explicit - smut/weed use) - You finally agree to help Clark ease the pain of his broken heart.
"You were already elevated, having taken a couple puffs from your blue and red glass bowl earlier, so you were struggling to pay attention to everything he was saying. You tried to put on your “I’m not high” face and nod enough, saying “oh wow” every so often. But, in actuality, your eyes were as red as the Devil’s dick and Clark wasn’t stupid."
I'm switching back and forth between writing all of these at the same time. Yes, that's crazy, but so is writing for free and praying for the dopamine that creative feedback gives us.
I'm open to any questions about these sneak peeks as well, I welcome it, honestly.
no pressure tags: @raccoon-eyed-rebel @blackwood4stucky @ronearoundblindly @navybrat817 @targaryenvampireslayer
@winter2112rose @hansensgirl @vellicore
#wip game#wip thursday#black fic writer#hc sherlock#sherlock holmes x black ofc#sherlock holmes x black!ofc#sherlock holmes x ofc#lloyd hansen#lloyd hansen x black reader#lloyd hansen x black!reader#lloyd hansen x reader#clark kent#clark kent x black reader#clark kent x black!reader#clark kent x reader#ellethespaceunicorn fanfic teaser
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Kiko’s Masterlist
This is a Master for the important links for my stories 😊
*We are not spoiler-free here, so please block the JJK Manga Spoilers tag if you don't want spoilers!*
Some of my posts contain mature content, and I try to mark them with proper community labels. If you're not seeing them, you'll need to make sure your settings are updated to display content marked as mature. Please consume mature/explicit content at your own discretion!
Please do not copy, imitate, or recreate any of my works without explicit permission and/or providing credit.
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Another Level Masterlist
Status: Complete
“You’re a Zenin.”
More like an unwanted mistake. Which, funny enough, had actually been the first words she ever heard her father say to her.
-
Kurisaki Rinko was born an unwanted bastard child to the Zenin clan, having since grown into an unwanted bastard adult. Her stubborn refusal to be discarded resulted in a display of strength that many would call (they had, many times to her face, in fact) an unhinged lack of self-preservation. But lucky for her, that unhinged display caught the attention of a particular blue-eyed menace who happens to be more fun to rile up than anyone she’s ever met.
Read Another Level on AO3
Physical Paradox Masterlist
Status: In Progress
How they went from:
“I’m kinda impressed,” Gojo stated, sliding his sunglasses onto his face. “Didn’t expect a psych major to know this much about philosophical theory.”
Rinko blinked at him slowly, raising her eyebrows as she scoffed.
“I’m sorry, mister unresolved childhood trauma,” she said, stepping closer and poking a finger in his chest. “But I don’t really give a fuck if you’re impressed.”
To:
“Your professor is leading the world of cognitive and behavioral research,” Gojo told Rinko's students, chest swelling with pride.
“And she’s really pretty-”
“Oh, she’s fucking gorgeous!” he agreed. “She has it all. Smart, funny, beautiful. She’s honestly perfect. It’s incredible she-”
“Married you?” Touma interjected. “I know. I thought the same thing when I first met you.”
Read Physical Paradox on AO3
Gokudō Masterlist
Status: On Hold (I will finish this eventually, though)
Gokudō (極道): the extreme path. A term used to refer to members of a Yakuza syndicate.
-
“Now, why is a pretty girl like you in an ugly place like this?”
“Some might say the contrast is tragically poetic,” she replied easily.
“Yeah, well,” he drawled, a smirk pulling at his lips as he stepped up to stand beside her. “Others would say it’s tragically idiotic. What’s your name, pretty girl?”
“Shouldn’t you introduce yourself first?” she asked, her pulse jumping at his quiet chuckle.
“You already know who I am.”
-
She never asked to be part of this world. A world filled with greed and violence and revenge. She never asked to be part of the world where life was as meaningless as dust. The world stained red by the blood that pooled beneath her mother’s body after she was forced to watch her die. She never asked to be part of the world driven by hatred and bloodlust, but she never asked to leave, either.
Read Gokudō on AO3
One-Shots
Before I Love You - (angsty Gojo/Rinko AU, hopeful ending)
Fight Me? - (Nurse!Gojo shoots his shot with a grumpy patient)
Blurbs
For Your Health - (College!Gojo just wants to help his girlfriend stay healthy)
Untitled Unfinished Angst (very angsty Goinko bc Kiko is not ok)
Random Asks and Kiko's Rants
Ask: Advice for AO3 writers and when you're in a creativity rut
Ask: How Do I plan the plot for stories?
Rant: The issue with meaningless angst
Kiko's Original Work
Sample: Summary and blurbs
Sample: Blurbs 2
Meet some characters
Another Life - Short Story
#gojo satoru x original female character#gojo satoru fanfic#another level#gojo fanfic#gojo satoru#jujutsu gojo#physical paradox#author discussion#jjk fic#jjk au#jjk fanfic#rinko kurisaki#gojo and rinko#rinko and gojo#satoru gojo#masterlist#gojo x reader#goinko masterlist#goinko yakuza au#jjk yakuza
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Untitled, very suggestive ficlet based on this;
Violence, incest, dddne: it's exactly what's on the tin
We take requests
⬇️
The stupid fucking thing was supposed to remain unconscious until they could get it contained in his ship. Of course, rarely do things not go completely tits up halfway through any adventure. Rick and Morty were eventually caught off guard by a large shapeshifting mass of fleshy growth that tackled Morty down to the ground mid-transformation. Oh fuck this.
Rick stepped back out of reach of flailing limbs as the creature shifted it's form into a seemingly perfect copy of his grandson while grappling with the real deal. He made a frustrated grunting noise, watching with rapt attention now as the identical sets of gangly arms and legs swung and clawed at each other. As much as he enjoyed watching the fourteen year old get all his teen rage out on something that wasn't him, he begrudgingly reached out and ripped the two bodies apart from each other and dropped them a couple feet apart. He smoothly reached into his lab coat and pulled out a sleek looking gun that lit up blue along the barrel as it charged up.
Both Mortys stood up in mirrored movements, almost disorientating to watch. When they both noticed the gun in Rick's hand and the almost silent whine it was emitting- ready to fire at any second- he watched with delight as fear washed over one face and then the other. Just a fraction off beat.
"Okay, I'm n-ough-t playing the blame game, th-that shit's annoying me without h-having t-urrp-to even start." Rick gestured between them both using the gun, eyeing the one to his left that just barely shivered.
"R-rick this- this is g-getting out of h-hand-" "-th-this is starting t-to really freak me out Rick!" They almost talked over each other, the grating whine doubled, and Rick shot the floor between them and made both boys jump.
"Sh-uuuugh-ut up, I got this dude."
He reached into his coat again and dug around a little before producing a little red remote engulfed in his long fingers. The Morty on the left started to turn pink in the face while the one on the right began to grow confused.
"W-w-w-ait Rick m-maybe there's a b-b-better w-aAAAY-" Morty on the left doubled over and fell to his knees when Rick twisted a dial on the remote with his thumb alllll the way over with one motion. A sharp grin twisted his lips up as Morty moaned loudly, utterly pleased with the vile display of the boy writhing on the ground now. The muffled sound of something buzzing away filled the air, and the shapeshifter contorted Morty's face into one of disgust as it turned to look up at Rick.
"I thought that was your grandson, you sick fuck, what the hell is wrong with you!?" It dropped all pretense of being a wimpy high school freshman, it's voice warping out of Morty's obnoxious trill. It was struggling to keep from looking at the whimpering whining body next to it.
"Lotta things, l-like the need to- like how I just g-gotta take care of his cute needy little ass a-after ourhp- after we're done here." Rick's attention was waning now, so before he let his eyes snap back to Morty on the ground panting like a whore, he aimed his gun between the shapeshifter's big brown eyes and felt something twist with arousal in his gut as he blew it's brains out with a very forceful shot. Nice and easy, he let out a breath to cool the smoke off the tip and slid it back into his coat.
Rick finally let his gaze drift down, giving the Morty-shaped shifter corpse a once over as his eyes settled on his grandson. Popping a squat and listening to his knees crack, he watched Morty raise his head up. Tears and drool streaked his young face, and it started rolling something heavy in Rick's groin as the old man finally brought the remote up to fiddle with it. The buzzing sound quieted and Morty made a wheezing gasping sound as he was granted reprieve from the onslaught, bleary brown eyes raising up to lock with cheerful steel ones.
"Y-ouugh-ou did great buddy," Rick clamped a large hand down on Morty's shoulder and squeezed before helping the boy up to his feet, making sure to support him when he stumbled.
"F-fuck you man, that was h-humiliating." There wasn't any bite in the bark there, so Rick just laughed at him. It wasn't a mean laugh either, at least not in the way he laughed when he was making fun of the little guy.
"H-hows about Gr-aagh-grandpa make it- make it u-up to you then?" His smile made Morty shiver, something he watched gleefully before grabbing the corpse by the familiar brown curls. He didn't miss the way Morty's eyes followed all the rough movements of his grandfather manhandling the dead body that looked just like him.
"What? I can st-still use it."
"Y-you're not "m-making it up to me" w-w-with that in the ship." The firmness in his tone was set deep.
"Booooo! Yyyou're no, you're no fun Morty." Rick slung his free arm around the shaking teenager and guided him the rest of the way to the ship, dragging the cooling corpse behind him.
#rickorty#rickmorty#rick x morty#🎯.txt#rick and morty#i wanted to say a lot about rick with as little as I could get away with :3c
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Several Sentence Sunday - 03/03/2024
Hello all! Hope you've all had a stellar week.
Tagged today by the wonderful @bigassbowlingballhead @magicandarchery @getmehighonmagic. All wonderful writers and excellent friends.
I have just updated No.1 (Royal Red and Blue) Oil on Canvas (dang thats like a fall out boy song title i s2g) so you could go give that a little read if ya like. Only one more chappy for that one!
I have so many WIPs going on rn. I know you love my smut but lets save that for next week bc they're almost done. Here is some more angst. I've got two for ya:
Untitled Henry doesnt want kids fic (canon divergent future fic):
Alex fucks into Henry like he’s got a point to prove. It’s missionary because they want to pretend look at each other, but Alex’s unfocused gaze lands somewhere slightly above Henry’s right shoulder. Like he’s looking right through him. Henry closes his eyes. He’d almost suggested Alex do him from behind to save them both from looking the other in the eye, but that would have meant them both letting on that something was the matter.
Henry presses his head back into the pillow when he comes with a muffled cry. Alex pushes in deep as his own orgasm takes over, his teeth biting into his bottom lip so hard Henry thinks he can see a spot of blood. He doesn’t collapse onto Henry and push his face into his neck, like usual. Instead, he sits back on his knees, his gaze falling to where Henry’s legs are splayed around him. He makes an abortive move to press a palm to Henry’s thigh, but he rests it on the bed.
Later they lie, side by side, shoulder to shoulder, with a two-inch gap. Close enough Henry can feel the heat radiating off of Alex, but far enough away that Henry is reminded of the chasm that is growing between them.
And one more:
Air Crash Investigation AU
The rain hits him hard. It's cold and dark and there's nothing left in the field. The grass is burnt into a muddy slurry and there's the occasional bolt or wire stuck up from the dirt. But there's nothing in this field anymore.
Alex reaches out and grabs his hand. "I'm sorry, H."
Henry squeezes Alex's palm. "I don't know what's wrong with me."
He keeps looking out over the field. It's empty. There's no such thing as ghosts.
no pressure tags: @nocoastposts @anincompletelist @firenati0n @littlemisskittentoes @wordsofhoneydew @sparklepocalypse @violetbaudelaire-quagmire @sunnysideprince @eusuntgratie and anyone else who wants to do it (make sure to tag me)
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arctic monkeys + tranquilty base hotel and casino mv + mark rothko pantings (1/?)
in my understanding rothko wanted to create art in which you could escape, a fasination with door like ,open window forms leading to a far away place or world everyone could find but no two the same, wanting to create something with the same grand emotion in music that seemed simple to those who interacted with it but steeply and endlessly complex for the artist , here i draw comparisons to the world of tbhc where transitional spaces and distinct colors and forms built from a gaze of ambiguity both in visuals and in musical content which as stated before rothko was also moved by whereas this world is more of a projection of art from the music than vice versa.
If our titles recall the known myths of antiquity, we have used them again because they are the eternal symbols upon which we must fall back to express basic psychological ideas. - mark rothko.
Mark Rothko, Untitled (Blue, Dark Blue, Yellow) / Number 207 (Red over Dark Blue on Dark Gray), Mark Rothko / Mark Rothko Red on Maroon / Untitled (Green on Maroon) / Blue, Green, and Brown
#arctic monkeys#alex turner#mark rothko#tbhc#IM SO SORRY IF THIS IS WEIRDLY NICHE AND LIKE ALSO LIKE AN WEIRD INTERPRETATION AND BASTARDIZED ONE AS WELL UHM I HAD A THOUGHT AND UH I HAD#UHM#*****mine
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year in review: favorite lines! :) <3
hello hello! I was tagged by the lovely @anincompletelist in this adorable tag game where we share our top favorite segments from our published fics and/or wips! :)
I only have one published fic LOL so here are some of my favorite pieces from that and three out of four wips right now (four is buck wild to me considering i had zero like ten days ajflakjfds).
i saved some of my real faves for y'all to read in worm fic (i didn't want to spoil my favorite paragraph at the end LOL). I have linked the fic as well as the tags with wip snips :)
from our world, mine and his alone (the midnight train to go)
Deep breath in. “By the way. Digging the cardigan, Henry. Very…”
He rifled through his extensive vocab for literally any appropriate adjective. Refined? Boring. Professional? Practical, but also boring.
“Very…?” Henry raised an eyebrow, long fingers wrapped around a cup of tea. Earl Grey, Henry had said a while ago, but Alex couldn't be sure. He had been terribly distracted by said fingers, wondering where else those fingers could—
What Alex’s distracted, useless worms in his left temporal lobe decided to supply him with as a response was:
“Slutty-English-Literature-professor core.” Alex was going to jump off the train. He was going to change his name. He was going to get a lobotomy, as a treat.
“Excuse me?!” Henry sputtered into his tea, turning red alarmingly quickly. His sexy-librarian cardigan was collateral damage, tea splattered down the front.
from the full spectrum of human emotion (WIP, The Proposal (2009 movie) AU, eta 2024):
And selfishly, he’s pretty fucking scared for his career trajectory if it doesn’t work out. He can’t start over, he can’t. His resume can’t take it, and neither can his ego.
He can already hear Oscar clicking his tongue and shaking his head, practically taste the disappointment in Ellen’s pitied gaze and outstretched hand. He absolutely cannot give them the silver bullet that goes clean through his erratic heart and wrenches him back home. He loves Austin, breathes it, and yet…and yet. He just can’t return, not when he’s so close. He still has so much to prove, so much to hold up to the sky and say I’m here, I can take it, I did it, I’m good enough. It almost swallows him whole—his overwhelming love for his family, his nostalgia for the Texas sun. But it’s just not enough to—
from queerano de bergerac (WIP, Cyrano / The Half of It (2020 movie) AU, eta 2024):
“Amber, everyone thinks you’re pretty, it is an objective fact. Irrefutable, even.”
“Aw, Henry! That’s so nice of you to say, thank you.” She flashes him a genuine smile. She’s sweet, Henry is loath to admit.
“You’re welcome. But. This letter…we need to workshop it a bit. Make it more personal? More about who Alex is as a person, and not who we see him as. What’s below the surface? What are his hidden depths that you are willing to explore? How do you show you’re in love, not just tell?”
Amber raises an eyebrow. “Okay. How do I do that?” She sniffs. “I thought I was being so obvious when I asked if he had lunch plans.”
“...You asked him if he had lunch plans during our…one lunch period at school?”
“Okay, fine! I’m not the best with fancy words like you, Mr. Future English Literature Major.”
from untitled continuation of worm fic (WIP, eta 2024):
If Alex could land Henry's phone number (a bit forcefully, if he remembered Henry's tone correctly) using sheer fucking charisma, he could nail a date with the guy. Easy peasy.
Except.
Except for the fact that Alex's brain seemed to rapidly degrade in every conceivable way when faced with Henry's fairytale hair and anime-worthy blue eyes. Henry's presence was lethal for every ounce of Alex's grey matter. With every blink of his doe eyes, Henry obliterated another one of Alex's (already fucking limited!) brain worms. They would writhe in agony, unable to shake the vicelike grip of Henry's charisma, doomed to a slow and sensual death.
Alex was so fucked, and not in the fun, safe, and lubed way.
+
no pressure tagging @ninzied @inexplicablymine @anincompletelist @myheartalivewrites @suseagull04 @priincebutt @sparklepocalypse @kiwiana-writes @onward--upward @nocoastposts @user-anakin @wordsofhoneydew @littlemisskittentoes @happiness-of-the-pursuit @matherines @lizzie-bennetdarcy @celeritas2997 @sherryvalli @gayrootvegetable @ssmtskw @affectionatelyrs @tinyarmedtrex @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @14carrotghoul @orchidscript @rmd-writes @dustratcentral @eusuntgratie @magicandarchery @leaves-of-laurelin @songliili @cricketnationrise @msmarvelouswinchester @leojfitz @dragonflylady77 @cha-melodius and open tag for anyone else wishing to share! have fun :)
xoxo roops
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