good evening bloodweave enjoyers

still don't ship them but i want shrue and VAL to team up to kill carson together like judith slaying holofernes

their vibes are absolutely rancid

Fully convinced Mal wouldn't have disliked Audrey nearly as much as she did if Audrey hadn't immediately announced that she was Aurora's daughter. On the limo ride over, she responds positively to the driver's rudeness- Mal likes (or at least respects) people who are mean to her.

Currently imagining an AU where Mal doesn't know Audrey is Sleeping Beauty's kid (maybe Audrey is keeping it a secret from her for whatever reason, maybe cicumstances conspire to make sure she doesn't find out), so she just thinks of Audrey as "random princess with a petty streak" and she loves it tbh. Thank you, random princess, for being mean, it reminds her of home. Makes her feel alive in this pastel hell. Audrey is confused and frustrated by the fact that Mal seems to enjoy her hostility so much.

Ben, however, takes it as a good sign. So, when Audrey complains to him about Mal helping girls speedrun hair styling, he suggests that she take it up with Mal directly because hey, Mal seems to like her. Audrey does not like this idea At All, but she also wants to humor her boyfriend and she's pretty sure Mal's not going to kill her on campus, so she does it. She marches up to Mal's room and demands politely requests that Mal stop giving magic makeovers because goshdarnit, where does that leave those of us who are pretty through genes and work, huh?

Mal is delighted to learn that Audrey is 1) insecure about her position as The Prettiest and 2) is this willing to defend it. That's villainous motivation material, baby! This princess isn't just entertaining, she's potentially useful! And she has ties to the future king. At this point, Evie also takes an interest, because. You know. These kinds of hangups are more or less the entire reason Evie's mom is Like That.

Audrey has a very, very bad feeling about this.

the thing about aziraphale is that he really is a sweetie pure of heart wants desperately to alleviate all suffering etc but he’s also a self-centered control freak. would stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror etc etc

Atem and Ishizu really are funny as hell together and criminally underutilized. There's a reason they were besties in a past life. Every time I write them together they bounce off each other perfectly. She refuses to engage with his bullshit when utilized against her while simultaneously enabling it against everyone else, and is fully versed in her own more subtle version of bullshitting that bolsters Atem's credibility. They're both trying to sound confident about ancient magic they barely know how to use. They're both running "it was my job to protect all my loved ones (despite me being a literal child at the time) and therefore everything bad that happened to them is all my fault permanently forever" in their heads on loop. They're lying through their teeth and also the only people at this dig site who have any idea what they're doing. They're smooth operators. They're barely-holding-it-together disasters. They're gossiping about all their other friends. They are going to get banned from this Egyptology conference

the “this character is insufferable” to “this character is literally me” pipeline strikes again

i and my main warden don’t get along with wynne it’s not about that i just wish nuance didn’t die as soon as a character is a woman let alone (god forbid) an old woman. if a man had wynne’s tragic backstory i’d have fifty fics on my desk by monday and apologism left right and centre

timeskip looks

psychic damage media have characters that act shitty in a way that makes me go oh no. i do that

me: *coworking with @mirrorbird*

mirrorbird: *coworking with me*

me:

mirrorbird: "Surprise Bitch" fits the naming canon for The Archive Undying AIs

Look. We give Milligan a lot of shit for constantly throwing himself off of cliffs/buildings (justified) (affectionate). However, I do think we're letting McCracken off the hook for straight-up launching himself *through* a second story glass window in order to kidnap a group of children faster. On some levels, he and Milligan are the same brand of insane and this is why they work so well as enemies. In this essay I will-

Me: HAHA look at Daniil and his stupid snakeskin coat and snake belt buckle, what a NERD

Also me:

me hitting myself over the head with a big book: stop *whack* being *whack* so *whack* bitter *whack* and *whack* envious *whack* no *whack* more *whack* jiang *whack* cheng *whack* isms *whack* out *whack* of *whack* you!!! *whack*