Could you please write post Kingdom of Ash fic where Aelin has to go back to Doranelle with Rowan on important business or something and she deals with her trauma going back/ meets Rowans family/ Rowan repairs his relationship with his cousins? Pretty please 🥺

loved this idea and had so much fun writing it!! combined with the modified prompt of “living is so much harder than dying. are you sure youre fit for living?”

here’s day 5 everyone!!

~~~

It had been three years since Aelin Galathynius had stepped foot in the City of Rivers.

Her first two visits to Doranelle had been… less than pleasant, to say the least. Most sane people who had gone through what Aelin had would never get within a hundred miles of the city. But, Aelin had never been one to allow a shitty experience or two keep her away.

In the three years since the end of the war, Terrasen had slowly been rebuilt. Aelin had gotten used to her role as queen, had gotten used to peace. Although it had been hard and strenuous work, it was worth it. Every struggle and late night, argument with lords and advisors, had led to happiness for her people. Aelin would do just about anything for them.

Part of being queen, Aelin had quickly learned, was responding to correspondences from other kingdoms. Sometimes, they weren’t all that bad. She liked to write to Dorian, enjoyed the sporadic letters she received from Manon. But there were plenty of others that were less fun. Taxes, proposals, budgeting.

But, a few weeks ago, she received a letter from Rowan’s cousin, Sellene, the new Queen of Doranelle. She invited both Aelin and her husband for a diplomatic visit to her lands.

“Are you sure about this, Fireheart?” Rowan had murmured to her one night, curled up in his arms in bed. “You don’t have to go.”

Aelin understood his concern. The last time she had been to Doranelle, she had been beaten and bruised within an inch of her life, patched back together, only to go through the process again the next day. Maeve had certainly done a number on her. But Aelin would be damned if she let the bitch get the last laugh.

“I want to go, Ro,” Aelin assured him. “I want to see where you grew up, get to know your family better.”

I need to go, is what she didn’t have to say, but knew Rowan understood. Aelin had conquered many of her fears in the years since the war, but there were still nights she woke up screaming, still nights when it was impossible to tell the difference between the darkness of night and the darkness of the iron coffin.

She needed to go back to the place where she had been brought down to her lowest. Needed to prove that she was strong, and that she had triumphed.

And so it was decided. The queen and king consort would sail east.

They stayed a week in Wendlyn with Aelin’s cousin, Galan. Since he had sailed to her aid during the war, they had formed a closer friendship. It was good to see him, to see the kingdom from which her mother hailed.

From there, they traveled by carriage to Doranelle.

“Much nicer than the first time we made this journey,” Aelin remarked one afternoon from the comfort of their carriage, resting her head against Rowan’s shoulder.

“You certainly smell better.”

Rowan earned himself a slug on the shoulder for that little comment.

They passed into the City of Rivers discreetly, not truly wanting to deal with a huge welcoming party. Aelin convinced Rowan to take a day to themselves, for her husband to show her the city itself. The beautiful, simple lives of the citizens of Doranelle. How Rowan had grown up.

It was a perfect day. Aelin loved seeing Doranelle in all its glory. It was truly a work of art, unlike anything she had ever witnessed in her years traipsing the continent. They wore hoods despite the mild, spring weather, the both of them far too recognizable now to move freely without some sort of disguise. It brought her back to the days of being Adarlan’s Assassin.

Rowan brought her to some of his favorite places growing up, showed her a block that sold the traditional street foods of Doranelle for lunch. He bought her some sweets and took her to a lovely park, where they lounged under the shade, just talking and sharing kisses. He took her to a nice restaurant for dinner, snagging a private back room for just the two of them. It was all perfect.

And then the next day, they woke and readied themselves to head to the palace. Aelin managed to wrangle her husband into something nice, though he protested it on the basis of it just being his cousins. She wouldn’t hear of it.

That first day in Doranelle, exploring the streets as nothing more than another citizen, Aelin had been nothing but content and relaxed… but the first sight of that wide, curving bridge that would lead them to the palace had her heart beating just a little bit faster.

She remembered the last time she had crossed this bridge beside Rowan. She had still been going by Celaena then, freshly nineteen, just stepping into her power and her status. Terrified, though she never would have admitted it then. She had already been falling in love with Rowan, and her newly healed heart certainly wouldn’t have survived losing him.

She knew Rowan noticed the small change in her demeanor, feeling him squeeze her hand comfortingly.

They were greeted by Sellene, who was just as elegant and beautiful as Aelin remembered. It was clear she had stepped into her role as ruler with dignity and grace. She embraced Aelin like she was an old friend, making her feel truly welcome.

They were shown to their rooms, given time to settle in and refresh themselves before they would meet in court before dinner.

Their quarters were lovely: bright, open, and airy. The glassless windows allowed for the sweet spring breeze to blow into their room. There was a large bath that Aelin had full intentions of making use of that evening. Hopefully with Rowan. He wouldn’t need much convincing.

Some of Sellene’s ladies came in to help Aelin prepare, making sure her hair was thoroughly brushed and gleaming, twisted up in perfection before placing her crown on top. Her gown was a lovely piece of Terrasen green and intricate silver embroidery.

By the time they were both ready, they made quite a pair. Striking, indeed. Aelin made sure she complimented her husband thoroughly as they made the short trip from their chambers to the throne room.

It managed to distract both Rowan and herself. She barely took in the halls they walked through, some of it twinging deep recesses in her memory, like some sort of dream. But, she forced herself to focus on Rowan, the man she loved, lest the memories get the better of her.

The next thing she knew, they were being announced as they strolled leisurely through the crowded throne room. Fae nobility bowed and curtsied as they walked by, sending them wide, broad grins.

The throne room was so different than Aelin had remembered it. When it had been Maeve perched on that throne, it had been cold and quiet. It had somehow always felt like a trap. But, with Sellene as queen, it was bright and full of life. Music played, people laughed and smiled. It was… good.

A half hour passed by busily. Aelin was introduced to some of Sellene’s courtiers, reintroduced to Rowan’s other cousins. People gave her their thanks, commended her hard work and sacrifice during the war.

It was hectic enough at the beginning to keep her mind thoroughly occupied. Chatting and charming and laughing. It took a while before there was a lull in the conversation, when Aelin wasn’t listening to someone or speaking herself. But, it finally came.

Aelin took the rare moment of solitude to take in her surroundings. Rowan was across the room, talking with his uncle and cousin, Enda. He looked happy, relaxed. She loved it when he smiled.

She looked away from her husband, glancing around the room. Despite her better judgements, her gaze snagged on that throne.  It almost looked non-threatening in the late afternoon sunlight, but her gut still twisted. Images of a pale woman with dark hair and a spider’s smile flashed to her mind unwillingly. She flinched, eyes screwing shut and willing the memories of Maeve away. She was successful at first, but not for long. Images and snippets of voices, of screams that she didn’t know came from herself or others, assaulted her all at once.

Aelin’s breathing sped up, her heart hammering beneath her ribs. She felt the phantom bite of broken glass in her knees, heard Maeve’s cruel laughs. She saw Fenrys, heard his cry when Connall spilled his own blood right there by the throne. It was so clean now. Like none of it had ever happened.

But no. That had been real. The other images Maeve had sent her weren’t but…

Suddenly, the airy throne room was too small, too packed. Aelin felt ill. She ducked her head down, slipping out as discreetly as she could manage. The moment she was sure she was out of view, she bunched up her skirts and ran.

Her body remembered the way down into the depths of the palace, though she had never navigated herself. It had left a mark on her soul. She would never forget.

The dungeons below the palace were a stark difference from the open, bright architecture above. It could have been a different world. It was just as dark and cold as Aelin remembered, as it was in her nightmares.

She wasn’t sure how, exactly, she knew which of the near identical, dismal cells had been hers but… she knew. She hesitated outside the door, amazed by just how ordinary it looked. Who would have guessed that she had been held and tortured behind that door for two months?

Aelin pressed her palm against the door, the magic left in her recoiling at the iron she sensed. These dungeons had been built to keep people with magic contained. They had been well designed.

She pushed into the room slowly, using her magic to light the torches lining the walls. She wasn’t sure what she had been expecting to find: a coffin, blood stains, iron chains waiting just for her. But… it was empty. Even the stone table she had been chained to while Cairn carved her up was gone.

Just… nothing.

Aelin wasn’t sure how long she stood there before she sensed a familiar presence behind her. She was wrapped in the familiar scent of pine and snow, Rowan’s warm body standing just behind her. He placed a broad hand on her shoulder. “I thought I’d find you here.”

A tiny smile curved her lips, though she didn’t bother looking back at her mate. “You know me well, husband.”

There were a few beats of silence. Aelin didn't have to be looking at Rowan to know he was carefully considering his next words. So, she did him a favor, and spoke first.

“There’s nothing here,” Aelin said simply, stating the obvious.

“No, there isn’t. Is that a bad thing?”

A tiny shrug. “I don’t know. Yes? No?” Aelin hung her head in defeat, covering Rowan’s hand with her own. “Sometimes, it's hard to believe it all really happened. Without the scars, without the coffin… it just seems like something I dreamed up. I know I didn’t but…”

“But what, Fireheart?”

Her eyes burned with tears, throat tightening. “It would be… comforting, I suppose, to know that the experience left its mark somewhere else than in my head. It was terrifying and hopeless but I don’t want to forget it happened.”

Rowan stepped closer, her back pressed against his chest. He wrapped his strong arms around her securely, pressing a kiss to the back of her head. “I think you know that what happened doesn't only still affect you. I don’t think Lorcan will ever fully forgive himself for summoning Maeve to the beach that day, I don’t think Aedion will ever stop feeling guilty that he hadn’t been there for you when you needed him. And I…”

He trailed off, but Aelin knew Rowan better than she knew herself. She knew his fears, his regrets, his insecurities. Just as Aelin awoke some nights thinking she was back in that coffin, Rowan would wake thinking she was gone. Those nights, he would wrap her tightly in his arms and wouldn’t let go until the sunrise, as if she’d disappear with the morning dew.

She gave a meek nod. “You’re right.”

They stood in silence for a bit longer, stealing strength from one another. After a period of silence, Aelin spoke again.

“I thought it’d be easier by now,” she commented. “I spent most of my life struggling to survive, trying not to die in one way or another. It’s been three years of peace. I know three years is nothing to you and will eventually be nothing to me too but… when does life get easier?”

Rowan didn’t answer right away. “Living, Aelin, is so much harder than dying.”

She sighed and nodded. “You’re right. But when have I ever not stepped up to a challenge?” She looked up at Rowan and smiled cockily. He gave a breathy laugh and pressed a kiss to her temple.

“You’ve already conquered death, Aelin Galathynius,” he said. “I have no doubts you’ll conquer life just as easily.”

important question that's been bugging me for a while. since hypmic plays in a female powered society.. does that make everything like..our world but reverse? so that guys are more often oppressed and girls are more likely to be predators, taking what happened to hifumi (like men are more likely to us) and stuff like that? (or like if we imagine everything genderbent and apply our society to that) sorry I hope this is not too triggering. love your work!

This is a delicate question. I am going to put my answer below a cut. Topics included: sexual predators, misogyny, assault, kidnapping, the mistreatment of male sexual assault victims

I don’t think that I’m necessarily the best person to answer this or examine this. I’m not educated enough in this particular topic. However, I have tried to give it as much thought and respect as I can.

The Question of Female Predators

This is a very complex topic. Female predators are already not uncommon in the world we live in, so I guess the question of whether there would be more or less female predators depends on what factors contribute to people becoming a predator.

I could be entirely wrong about this, but I think one factor that causes a lot of fear of being preyed upon is the size difference between most AMAB people and AFAB people. Obviously, there are millions of exceptions to this rule, but AMAB people generally tend to be taller, more muscular, and broader than AFAB people. The majority of AMAB people are also men (whereas the majority of AFAB people are women), so on average, an altercation between an untrained man and an untrained woman is not likely to end in the woman’s favor. This isn’t going to change in the world of Hypnosis Mic.

It’s the societal factors that would change. The Center for Hope and Safety says, “A sexual offender generally believes he is better than other people and so does not have to follow the rules that ordinary people do.” This is a stance the Party of Words elevates. The Party constantly practices “othering” and promotes themselves as an elite group. Only they are allowed to enter a certain area. Only they are allowed to write the name of their ward in kanji, whereas every other location must use the foreign-looking katakana. ARB events frequently feature Party members shoving characters around from place to place with no explanation, as questions are not allowed. Only the Party can know what’s going on. Using this as a guideline, I think it’s very possible for predators already within the Party to use this as an excuse for being a predator. “Men are worthless, so I can abuse them.”

You could argue that the Party is founded on the principles of safety for women and non-violence, but the Party is also very hypocritical. Its promises of safety are only for the party itself; it puts on painful gladiator battles to turn a profit and purposefully cause infighting to keep the Party safe. Ramuda even suggests (and I have no reason to disbelieve him) in TDD 12 that they have a stockpile of weapons as well. The Party doesn’t care for anything but itself and staying in power.

So yes, predators within the Party are probably more likely to abuse their power, but would the shift towards a female-dominated society create more female predators? That’s a much harder question to answer. I am not remotely equipped to speak on what causes someone to become a predator. I do, however, think that societal norms can enable predators or foster mindsets of fright against certain groups.

In the world that we live in, it is very possible for men in certain areas to sexually assault or otherwise mistreat a woman and be applauded by their communities. Think of online communities such as “The Red Pill” or “Men Going Their Own Way”. Such communities believe that women deserve this mistreatment, and while these are very extreme examples, this same mindset permeates a lot of global societies. Even on a small scale, a lot of men tend to make casual sexist comments because we were raised with the notion of this being socially appropriate. And there’s the issue - it’s inappropriate, but it’ll continue to be socially appropriate as long as we don’t continue to challenge ourselves, challenge our friends, and raise our children with better standards of accountability and respect. These social changes do not happen in the blink of an eye, and I highly doubt that a single three years with the Party of Words in power would change that.

Similarly, a lot of girls in our societies are taught (both consciously and subconsciously) to defer to their male peers or even to fear men in positions of power. Once again, unlearning this and teaching future generations more positive standards does not happen overnight. I doubt that most women in the Hypmic universe are able to make radical shifts of thinking and acting over the course of three years. Furthermore, I doubt that many men are really taking the Party’s misandristic words to heart. None of the main characters seem particularly bothered by Ichijiku calling them barbarous fools on the regular; it’s an annoyance, sure, but that’s it. We’d have to see the Party in power for a much longer time to witness any large societal changes.

Additionally, the world inside Chuuouku and the world without are quite different. While Chuuouku boasts state-of-the-art architecture and technology, the rest of Japan gets by like normal, if perhaps in a bit shabbier fashion than to be expected for this futuristic world. Men and women seem to still fit into stereotypical gender roles in much the same way that they do today. Doppo’s bosses are all men; the majority of doctors we see are men, and the nurses tend to be women. While some of Jirou’s female classmates seem to be especially assertive, male and female students get along in the same way as we would expect to see in our world. Women are still kidnapped and trafficked by primarily male yakuza. The former military looks to be exclusively made up of men. Progress moves slowly, so I think we can assume that the Japan outside of Chuuouku is approximately our modern Japan.

One of the major issues in examining this topic is that we see so little female-male interaction in regards to sex or romance. Ramuda and Hifumi are the only characters (that I can think of off the top of my head) who have any on-screen sexually/romantically charged interactions with women, but probably because this is a series largely marketed towards women, these interactions never go beyond light, impersonal flirting. To really take a look at how predators and assault may be featured in the Hypmic universe, we would need a much larger sample size. That being said, I’d still like to examine two case studies: Nemu and Hifumi.

Nemu

The two driving forces of Nemu’s character are her rejection of violence and her desire to have personal strength. The first of these is probably rooted in her childhood, from living with an abusive father, witnessing his violent murder, and witnessing the subsequent suicide of her mother. Samatoki doesn’t appear to have any resources for dealing with his own processing of these events, and he turns to violence and emotional outbursts as a way to channel his feelings. This violence continues to wear on Nemu, but she can still withstand it under normal circumstances up until the moment she is kidnapped.

Nemu cites her kidnapping as an example of her weakness, when in reality, it is an exhibition of anything but weakness. She remains calm throughout the entire ordeal, comforts Jirou and Saburou and keeps them hopeful, throws her shoe at Genchou, and offers him to cut her fingers off if that means the others will be spared. Nemu isn’t weak – she is a hero. She is a seventeen year old girl who lost both parents at a young age and has witnessed horrifically traumatic situations, yet she keeps her head during a hostage situation and acts with courage in order to keep everyone else safe.

Nemu calls herself weak not because she thinks she’s weak for anything she did during the situation, but because the situation happened to her in the first place. She is victim blaming herself for violent assault. This isn’t a logical position, but it’s a very understandable position for someone with her background. Unfortunately, Samatoki doesn’t have the knowledge or resources in order to help her process her trauma safely, and his own coping mechanisms only set her off further.

Nemu isn’t mentally weak, but she is very emotionally vulnerable. Even without the Party’s hypnosis, an offer from the Party would be too tantalizing to ignore. They can promise her a world in which suddenly she has the power over everyone else and where violence is not practiced. An offer like this is impossible for her to ignore. Even though the Party are the ones putting her in jeopardy again, they implicitly promise her that she can never be hurt again. For a young, brave, powerful girl holding in so much pain, that promise is everything she’s ever wanted.

As mentioned before, the Party doesn’t care about stopping violence. In fact, it encourages infighting among its civilians. If Nemu were not in an emotionally vulnerable position, she could see that and reject the Party’s offer, but that’s exactly why the Party targets her and not any of her peers. Imagine how many other young girls in similar situations fall prey to the same trap. These girls need healing and positive environments, but they are fed propaganda instead.

Hifumi

I don’t talk about this much because it’s a very uncomfortable subject for me, but the way Hifumi is depicted is a real tragedy.

We don’t know the details of what this particular girl did to Hifumi, but we do know that it continues to impact him over ten years later. We know that Hifumi developed his coping strategy on his own, seemingly without professional help, and that without it, he can’t begin to live even an approximation of a normal life. The illustrations of him encountering a woman show him hiding, cowering with his neck covered, or crying. He looks to be in genuine fear of losing his life. Consider being this afraid of half of the population and how frequently he must encounter women in his daily life: on the street, in the grocery store, on public transportation. Without the jacket, Hifumi’s life is a nightmare.

And yet the canon source material frames it as a joke. The humurous background music in ARB and Hifumi’s exaggerated gestures in the manga show that his fear and discomfort is a punchline. This would definitely not be a funny gag with the genders reversed (a woman sobbing in fear and running away every time she sees a man), so it is a travesty that this is the stance the authors continue to take.

The world we live in is, generally speaking, not kind to its male assault victims. Misogynistic attitudes create an environment in which it is shameful for men to admit that they were assaulted, especially by women. It should not be a punchline when one human being hurts another, and it is wrong and sexist beyond all belief to perpetuate the idea that women can’t be cruel, violent, and manipulative just as much as anyone else can.

I would like to hope that Hifumi’s case isn’t indicative of all Hypmic universe male assault victims, but I don’t think that’s the case. Hifumi definitely has access to mental health resources, considering that his roommate does, but there is no evidence that Hifumi has ever come forward to ask for help about this issue. This is probably a combination of Hifumi’s internal shame and an unsupportive environment. While Doppo does help Hifumi navigate daily life around women, Doppo’s facial expressions suggest he considers the matter a nuisance. He threatens to take away or withhold the suit when Hifumi’s coping method annoys him, and otherwise doesn’t seem to take Hifumi’s distress seriously. Jakurai appears to be more supportive, but he doesn’t ever offer additional help or resources to Hifumi beyond what Hifumi already has. In fact, the majority of Jakurai’s interest in the subject seems to be around examining Hifumi like a case rather than as a person needing assistance.

It’s also probably a result of the faux macho attitudes that are rampant within the Hypmic universe. Hypmic men are bound by a multitude of ridiculous expectations that I always feel like an idiot translating. “Men don’t cry.” “Men don’t get stuck feeling disappointed.” Absolute nonsense. Men can and will do anything, just like any other group of people. It’s far more productive to encourage men to be their best selves, respectful and helpful to themselves and everyone else, than to feed into this sort of behavior which implies the hideously false “men can’t be assaulted”.

This all results in Hifumi living a double life and only being able to remove his façade in the safety of his own apartment or with his two friends. That’s a miserable existence, and while Hifumi appears to be cheerful enough, it’s sickening to see that this is supposed to be comedic.

The Question of Male Oppression

The Party of Words does institute laws to oppress men, but this oppression is fairly ridiculous. Yotsutsuji says that men are taxed at a higher rate than women and that men aren’t allowed into certain areas (such as Chuuouku, I presume). Despite these challenges, the majority of Hypmic universe men seem to lead pretty normal lives. As mentioned above, the professional fields still appear to be dominated by men, and male-on-female violence doesn’t seem much different from how it is in our contemporary world. These laws aren’t making a significant change in male lives, so they must be made to impact women. Yet these are token impacts only, as they don’t in any way actually make the lives for non-Chuuouku women any better. By making this an “us against them” deal, the Party is able to make more women sympathetic to their cause and cause more infighting (thus distracting people from “us against the Party”) without actually having to make positive changes for anyone.

These laws also aren’t the reason why rebel groups exist. Consider the motivations each character gives in TDD 11. Ichirou mentions a lack of central law and regulations making it difficult to keep loved ones safe. The infighting that the Party promotes via its rap battles allows for power-hungry individuals like Mozuku to take over whole areas and instate whatever rules they want, no matter the cost to the citizens. Samatoki is frustrated by being directed to fight when he can’t see a good cause; similarly, Ramuda is concerned about the effects of the fighting on the neighborhoods they pass through. Even with non-lethal weapons, a country in constant conflict is not one in which its citizens can prosper. Jakurai is concerned about inequalities between Chuuouku and the rest of the country. He mentions in FP/M 15 (which we’ll have up in a few days for you to see for yourself) that he’ll use the prize money from winning the DRB to provide medical care for locations that the Party can’t or won’t supply with aid. Later in the chapter, he drives away from the spectacular, futuristic city of Chuuouku back into a Tokyo marked with graffiti and squalor. Even the male citizens don’t care about how they’re treated as compared to their female counterparts; they care that everyone is suffering together under the Party’s poor governing.

The Party has never sought to oppress men and elevate women. The Party’s goal is to elevate itself and oppress everyone else. The gender inequality is as much of a diversionary tactic as the Division Rap Battle.

Yugioh Episode 30 Season 4: The Dead Joey Shuffle

Lets ignore everything happening on planet Earth right now and talk about old ass anime, shall we? Yes, my sky turned a horrible end of the world yellow/orange color for an entire day because of a LOT of fire in my state. But thankfully, the winds have changed, the sky is blue...and I can write about Yugioh again.

Last we left off, Tristan, Tea, and Yami stumbled across two fresh corpses. Now, when Joey died a season or two ago (I honestly can’t remember when), we had my favorite storyboarder at the helm just sweeping emotion all over the field and the intense weeping for Joey Wheeler lasted for like 30 minutes. Yugi freaked out in the puzzle headspace for like half an episode and nearly gave up playing cards again, Yami punched a wall and then put a duel disk on Joey’s arm like a funerary send off to the afterlife, Tea started losing her mind and begged Yugi to drop out of the tourney so Yugi wouldn’t die, and Pharaoh was like “yo Tea, Yugi can’t talk right now can we do this later????” And then Tristan, out of nowhere, just started shaking Joey and screaming at him to wake up (and I think he punched him in the face and it got censored? Yo that episode is wild.) Joey got plugged to some Kaiba Corp med bay that had like 2 dozen weird sensors attached to his chest and feet to keep him alive. Serenity was like hyperventilating in the back, just a LOT of stuff was happening all at once.

But this time, with an ordinary animation team, these three kids are so distracted by the other corpse, that they only cry just a little bit before being like “woah what?”

And like this is their second time. Maybe they’ve gotten used to Joey being dead? Maybe they got it all out of their system and are now a lot more accustomed to the fact that they all must die. Several times.

Confronted with this Agatha Christie brand debacle, Tristan makes an incredible reach that is also completely correct. Like this is such an amazing incredible reach.

Hire Tristan as your detective, hot damn. There are like 7.8 billion Orichalcos-possessed people on this planet right now trying to kill Joey Wheeler and Tristan actually called the right one.

Yami never tells us who he blames, but it’s OK, because the show immediately cuts over to Dartz’ silicon valley fortress to tell us without telling us. So while this animation team isn’t as insanely extra as our previous animation teams, they still know how to edit their cuts to work alongside their dialogue just fine.

(read more under the cut)

Lets take a little while to just take this in. Someone took a while to make it, so rather than look at it for half a second before it passes--please lets count the number of floating streets in this scene.

3.

So before when I talked about the history of San Francisco, I mentioned the old Embarcadero, which was a double decker street wrapped around the peninsula. (we still see parts of this double decker set up on parts of the highway to this day.) But what if--they actually have no idea that the Embarcadero was a thing before it fell down in an earthquake?

What if they just...wanted San Francisco to be vaguely cyberpunk in this universe and that floating freeway was supposed to be futuristic and not just an 80′s throwback?

Because there’s 3 streets stacked on top of eachother right here and yo there is no where in the city built like this. This is a Gotham situation where the poors live on the lower levels and the rich just kind of hang out on the top. We have too many Earthquakes in reality to ever support this setup but Yugioh...wow. They went for it.

Also, our art deco architecture isn’t quite in this style as Dartz’ mansion. Mind you, this isn’t full deco, and the structure has more of an ancient world vibe. But...while San Fransisco does have a lot of deco, it’s just different (sorry you’re not really here for the architecture but youknow, I’m an artist so I do think a lot about why concept artists may have gone where they went)

++++++++++RANT ABOUT SF DECO VS COMIC BOOK DECO FEEL FREE TO SKIP++++++++++++++

So I’m not going to dare say this is a mistake on the Yugioh team by any means, since Deco is Deco and who knows when Dartz built that building. But like I’ve seen the SF skyline many times in this show and it’s got some funky shapes in it that are just sooo off to me. They keep drawing a more Futurist New York. Truth is, we don’t have that many skyscrapers in SF.

Most of the pictures you see of scaling buildings are of this one area around the financial district--everything else is...pretty short. So in those photos they very carefully crop out all the really squat as hell buildings on either side of it, to give the impression that our city is super tall, much like a dating app.

And, as far as Art Deco Gotham-esque skyscrapers go, we got ones like this guy:

Where at a glance it’s like...that’s barely deco (and barely that impressive. This is 1/3 the height of the Empire State building.) Compared to a lot of cities in America, our skyscrapers aren’t as...clearly deco from far away? We don’t have the huge ass humps and long ass gilded lines of the Empire State building or the Chrysler building. You only really get those details when you zoom in.

Our other skyscrapers are kinda understated or modern in comparison. And the reason why we just don’t have many deco skyscrapers is because...our ground ain’t good for building skyscrapers at all, so it took us kind of a while to build up.

Like we got this tower that we built recently (the first skyscraper they built in SF in a good while) and they decided to name it the “The Millennium Tower” which...I know...good job, team, clearly you wanted to get cursed. Well the tower started leaning about 3 or 4 years ago, like well over a foot from it’s original spot, it’s just tilting and sinking away, and people are freaking out because it’s surrounded by other tall buildings so they’re like “damn it we’re gonna dominoes.” The people in charge were like “well...we don’t know why it’s leaning...but I’m sure it’s fine” and it’s like “the ground. It was the ground...you dumbasses” not to mention that it’s clearly cursed by at least one angry Egyptian Ghost but...what do you do?

I would absolutely watch the Yugioh spinoff season about the Millennium Tower and the SF tycoons that got possessed by a ghost and have to play card games to keep their tower from squishing all of San Francisco. Yo you should hire me, Yugioh, I got IDEAS.

Man...Yugioh predicting the future, how did they call the ill fate of The Millennium Tower????

But anyway, most skyscrapers in SF are kind of boring because they have to be sturdy as hell. But, they have some neat modern shapes (like the Transamerica Pyramid--in the shape of A PYRAMID that hasn’t shown it’s face once this entire Egyptian influenced anime)

I mean, come on Yugioh, it’s right there.

Also the hell is this weird UFO on this picture I lifted off of google?

Like I think it’s 4 jets? 

I may have lifted this from an alien website, so forgive me, q-anon for lifting your image, I’m trying to talk about architecture in my Yugioh blog.

In fact the only building I (and google) can think of that is both really tall and deco-ey is this one:

And it’s a Marriot hotel built in the late 80′s. And honestly, it looks way more 1980′s Las Vegas than it does Deco. (It honestly looks like photobashing but made real, this is a weird building.)

And I could be wrong and overlooking a very important structure, but most of the city’s really cool art deco buildings are in the form of theaters, libraries, churches, schools, and houses--which are only a few stories tall. They’re gorgeous buildings with cool and different silhouettes, it’s just not very big.

Like I believe this is an old high school?

also a lot of our “art deco” has no idea if it’s victorian, deco, or art noveau so they’ll just hit all of it to see what sticks. It’s a lot more eclectic than other places where Deco is typically more...straight-lined. I kinda hate defining art styles as masculine or feminine but honestly it’s the quickest way to really hit home the difference between a Bruce Timm art deco that you’d see in a comic book, (which is very New York inspired) and what we have in San Fransisco which is really decorative and decadent.

The Yugioh SF just has no curvy nonsense and that really sticks out to me.

Ornate swirls get shoved Everywhere. Willy nilly. Just everywhere randomly. And it sits next to other structures that are modern and simplistic. It’s very San Francisco to have this old world next to new world.

And it makes sense. SF is the other side of the continent from New York, and about as far West as you can go from the movement going on in Europe. So...we made our own take and tl;dr the art deco in our city doesn’t look like Gotham at all.

And, while it’s not as grand or dark or iconic, it’s a good thing. It’s what helps make San Fransisco look really unique compared to other American cities--the fact that we're...short and eclectic. Our district with the skyscrapers is where it’s kinda boring, actually--the good stuff is when you get away from that. Where every little building has a spunky wild personality.

But in a show like this you gotta make it seem more grand and less homely so--they scaled up the buildings a lot more than we really have and homogenized all the stylings into one (and they axed every Victorian swirl because they don’t want to draw that). They really just turned SF into comic book New York--especially since I’ve only seen like...one steep hill since we got here.

It’s fine, and it makes complete sense why they did it, (I’m more confused as to why most of California is a Nevada desert so I can easily forgive a San Francisco without the right Deco) it’s just a very different energy.

and honestly...it’s an energy influenced by the tone of the show. Everything has a very dark blue-gray palate, and it’s because it’s literally the end of the world, Joey has died, everyone is sad...maybe it would be out of place to have a building that looks like it sparks joy? The harsh and cold lines do add to the gravity of the situation.

Maybe I would have done the same thing? In the end, the legibility of your story matters more than the accuracy of your story--especially when it comes to TV. Which is somewhat a controversial statement, and there’s exceptions when it comes to cultural stuff. But while the culture of San Fransisco was erased (a culture that they did draw in the beginning of the season! they did show alcatraz, a trolly, and the golden gate!), it is at a point in the show where...all of humanity is being erased anyway. Could also be symbolic? Maybe?

+++++++++++++END OF THE ART DECO RANT+++++++++++++

So anyway, stepping away from lovely buildings and into this gross ass abandoned park, Yami decides he’s gotta get himself to this gaudy ass Batman building ASAP.

He can ride a horse but he absolutely will not ride a motorcycle. Or touch Joey Wheeler’s dead body.

Which is wild because apparently there’s a Yugioh spinoff where all they do is ride motorcycles??? But from what I heard, Yami is not in it. Which is the most wild thing.

So uh...you know how much I love art details, lets take a long look at this one.

AH no.

Nope nope nope nope.

I hate this logo. It looks like an emperor penguin’s eyebrow thingies. Like a face with just four huge eyebrows.

Not sure why we randomly have a new logo. It’s nearly the end of the season, we’ve already shown the Orichalcos logo so many times. Was this episode made earlier in development than the rest? Is that why there were like - I dunno, put this random logo here... Maybe we’ll figure out the rest of the logo later?

I don’t know. This weird logo feels so out of place.

And then because I’m thinking about buildings...maybe it’s influenced by our Shell building?

Maybe? Or not? Just saying you got a round thing with radial lines hovering over a trellis...the possibility is there that they were inspired but had to edit it down for animation? Eh, I’m reaching desperately for anything that looks like San Francisco at this point.

Anyways, the front door of this building is an elevator (????) and in a somewhat confusing set of cuts, out of this elevator comes the murderer herself.

And she’s dead.

SO HAPPY I didn’t have to watch that card game but like...c’mon. There’s no way Mai would lose to Raphael.

Maybe that’s why they couldn’t show it? Because she’s the only person on this show who uses a themed deck with cards that actually sync with eachother? (outside of Pegasus’ toon deck and Grandpa’s voltron deck ((sorry it’s name isn’t voltron, I’ve forgotten the name of the robot that you build out of other cards. Exodus? Exodysseus?

It’s Exodia isn't it? Wtv. 2020′s been a real long one, all y’all.)) )

(don’t ask where the smoke came from, we don’t know. Maybe Yami felt like making it to be more aesthetic. It is a fun visual tic to the show.)

So Yami goes into this elevator instead of anticipating that this is obviously a trap. Like most would just decide to take the stairs instead, but Yami loves falling for a good obvious trap every once and a while (or, in the case of this season--each and every single time a trap is placed in front of him) and so this takes him directly to the fightclub roof of yore.

Ah. We started this season on fightclub roof, in like...2010 or whenever I started this season. Feels like forever ago. How long has the year of 2020 been? 20 years of my life? 40 years of my life? Was I in fact never born before 2020 started? I honestly don’t remember anymore who I was before this year happened. Probably because I inhaled just a hell ton of wildfire smoke and now my brain is a bunch of jelly beans rattling around in a jar.

Anyway, Raphael just hands Yami (by hands I mean throws aggressively) Joey’s dragon card.

A little unsure why he’d do this since...this is the weapon to destroy Dartz. Why are you giving it back to the Pharaoh? But apparently, Raphael did that to prove that he is the murderer of Mai, who murdered Joey and...youknow...the stuff that we know but would be pretty difficult for the people in this show to follow.

Mai’s voice actor seeing “Mumbo-Jumbo” and being like “Well if I’m doing this, I’m going to commit.“

WE ARE NEVER DUELING DARTZ.

I refuse that a duel with Dartz, in fact, ever happens in this season.

Kind of surprised whenever I see there’s still people left. SF is basically abandoned in comparison.

Thing is...that’s just SF on a holiday weekend.

And then, because Tristan’s in the middle of the street, the rest of the party has to try and run him over.

It is really funny to me that Seto went out of his way to ditch these people so MANY times, but keeps ending up around them again and again, and each time in a wildly different vehicle, each and every time it’s when these guys need a lift...he’s very quickly turning into the group’s soccer mom. Should’ve gotten a minivan.

And then this happens?

I’ll just leave this here:

I’m sure that fanfic writers everywhere rejoiced when Seto reached out a hand to catch Joey’s face from hitting the pavement. In all this was a bizarre animation and now that I’ve figured out my blender settings for the new update, I can finally cap little segments again.

Just don’t you dare flag me, tumblr. Hopefully segments less than 10 seconds long are fine.

Like there was this part where they had to just drag around Joey’s corpse over this rail, and it was Mokuba and Tristan just prying him up there like he were a potato sack and like...

...Joey’s gonna wake up with so many rail-shaped bruises! They do not treat him gently!

Then back on fightclub roof, Raphael made me do a bit of a double take when he accidentally implied the existence of another bean within that Pharaoh bean.

And no, Bakura did not show up at this point.

I would LOVE IT if Pharaoh biffed it a second time and Bakura suddenly took the reigns and was like “Oi loves! that was bloody easy!” but I...have a feeling that this team didn’t actually watch the episodes where Bakura is just vibing in that puzzle piece.

If this never comes back to bite Pharaoh in the ass...

It might never come back guys...I don’t know. How do these writers have this much self control to ignore Bakura for like a full season. How do you do it? I can’t hold a plot twist in for even like 5 seconds. How....how do you do it?

Anyways, now that Seto has Tea who has a map, they walk up to the entrance (I honestly forgot if they drove or walked because knowing this show, Seto would absolutely ignore the car. Either way, the Ferrari isn’t necessary anymore. Written right out of the script. Cars are hard to draw. Get rid of it)

You know, Mokuba’s seen an awful lot of corpses for a kid! Like 20ish corpses if you count the 2 times the Big 5 biffed it. Really should have left him with Rebecca! Youknow, the other kid the same age as him!

But it’s fine, we gotta train Mokuba to suppress that trauma deep, deep down like a proper Kaiba.

Youknow when I started this series I was like “I don’t get why everyone talks about the Kaibas so much, these two seem kinda like whatever” but now I’m on like S4 and like...I’m SO concerned about the Kaibas. With Yugi...whatever...he’s gonna be fine, but the Kaibas? Oh boy. Either one of them could go completely evil and I’d buy it.

And probably root for them.

And I know they won’t go full tilt, I’m pretty sure--but like...they COULD. I can’t say that about the rest of the cast.

Everyone’s made it!

Even joey’s weird coma/dead body for some reason!

Lol also I love this random sci-fi tech water tower next to Tea. What is that?

My drought senses are screaming, is that a huge ass water tower the size of a 4 story building next to Tea? Chances are, it’s got a jet in it or something because this is Yugioh, but...man. At least it doesn’t look like one of those rusty New York rooftop water towers. This show just completely not getting what SF looks like.

Whatever, he can resurrect the leviathan, maybe Dartz can make water?

Youknow, all you have to do to make California worship you forever is make rain. Screw this lizard nonsense. The man can power water. What’s he doing with this stupid snake?

But youknow, Yugioh just never really figures out how to harness the weather. They CAN and they do it all the time. But, do they use it for their benefit? Like freakin never.

Anyway, that’s all for now. I went on a looong rant about SF but maybe I’m just sick of my own house? Been a lot of fire and quarantine over here. It’s been messing with my head a fair amount so thanks for bearing with me and my weird ass update schedule (remember when I used to be productive? Was that just a dream I once had?)

But if you just got here, here’s a link to read these recaps in order, from the beginning way back in S1.

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

“For eternity” Khunbam

as always sorry for any errors, and there’s smut under the cut so you’ve been warned lol

<- ->

Khun Aguero Agnis has never been prone to believe in the supernatural. As he said himself, this world has already contained enough madness itself. The first rule of living there everyone learned as a child – if you want to avoid making the same mistakes, you have to know your past. What's more, each human being was born with a mark on their body which symbolized the way one died in their last incarnation. The mark belonging to Khun didn't look particularly large. Some people thought he's lucky because of it. Yet two dark dots staining his pale neck looked as if he got bitten by a venomous snake. Even though they seemed way too huge for simply a wild animal, Aguero tried not to think about it. Was there a big chance that he'll die this way again? No, of course not. He didn't have any possible way of meeting such a creature during his usual life. And that's enough of a reason to don't care about his mark. After all, Khun Aguero Agnis was a busy man, he had no time for this kind of nuisances. Always dressed properly – a tailored suit, shiny shoes, black tie, and an expensive watch. If you ever tried to imagine what a stereotypical businessman looked like, he'd be the first thing popping into your mind. Khun's life, just as his straightened blue hair, was lacking any kind of mess. He couldn't understand people who treated their marks as a significant part of themselves. There was no such a word like “destiny” in his dictionary, because believing in it had no logical value. After all, he lived in a world with much bigger issues – economy, politics, and even an upcoming climate catastrophe! Caring about something as trivial as body marks in current situation seemed egoistical. Or at least that's what he thought.

Fall was such a pretty season, but it had a major flaw. Too short days. Aguero spent most of his time in his office, which resulted in the fact that both when he entered, and left the building there was already dark outside. Maybe Khun didn't like to admit it, but coming back to his house was the least favorite part of the day for him. The office was his sanctuary. Full of life, people, important matters. And his house? Empty, filled with loneliness, and apathy. Aguero had everything, but he felt like he still lacked something. Or someone, to be more precise. Khun could reject those thoughts, try to disagree with them, he could even find them totally idiotic. But for what reason when deep down he knew himself what was the truth? Self awareness was both a blessing, and a curse. Yet the awareness itself couldn't possibly affect his daily routine in any way. Aguero packed his documents, and checked for the last time if everything was on its place. It was a few minutes past 8 P.M. If not for the streetlamps, there would be an unbreakable darkness surrounding every inch of the world outside. Khun lived near his office, so he could easily go back to his place on foot. On his way he passed different parks, streets, and houses. Aguero swore to himself that there was no other place in this world with so many imbeciles behind the wheel who treated speed limits like suggestions instead of restrictions. Khun considered himself to be a tolerant person. Yet there was one thing he absolutely couldn't stand – irresponsibility. Suddenly, he heard a weird noise behind his back. It couldn't possibly be wind. The noise sounded more like a rustle of some leaves being stomped at. Aguero turned around immediately, but the only thing he saw was an empty road dressed in a dark shroud of the night. Maybe he imagined things? No, impossible. Maybe it was some kind of animal. Yes, that's the only rational option. Khun tried to believe that. Yet, during the whole walk to his house, he felt like he wasn't alone. As soon as Aguero reached his destination, he closed the door quickly while throwing his cloak at an armchair.

“Alone once again,” Khun murmured.

Talking to himself was one of those habits that he didn't create completely deliberately. Khun didn't like spending time in an absolute silence. Being left alone with his thoughts was too overwhelming. Silence was the only thing that could scream the truth so loudly. Khun Aguero Agnis was a successful man. And he was really fucking lonely.

“You seem really confident for someone who's wrong.”

Aguero froze. That voice definitely didn't belong to him. It didn't even sound fully humane. A husky, low timbre made Khun shiver.  He felt like an animal that's slowly getting closer to getting trapped in a cage. The velvet voice seemed to cling to Aguero's heart, and surround it with golden threads. The ones that spread their warmth, making others unable to take their eyes away from the beauty. Those that one day will stop Aguero's circulation to own the last beat of his heart.

“Who are you?” Khun asked while trying to get out of his narcotic trance.

“Does it matter? I can introduce myself with every name, and every past. But it won't change anything,” a man answered.

Khun took this moment as an opportunity to see the source of the voice. A man standing next to his window seemed completely indifferent to what was happening, as if the situation's nothing new for him. Because of a black cloak he was wearing, his posture lightly blurred with the night sky. Long, dark hair covering a part of his face made the stranger slightly more mysterious. It looked as if his clothing was chosen on purpose so the slim body didn't look so fragile. Because of his tallness, and rather delicate face structure the stranger reminded Aguero more of a statue than a real human being. His marble skin, and body seemed like an embodiment of the slenderness of Gothic architecture that somehow got trapped in a Greek sculpture.

“I don't think any different. But since you've already broken into my home, you could already make some effort, and provide me a believable reason why,” Aguero snorted.

“Does everything need to have a reason, though? If something has to happen, then it will, no matter if there's a legitimate cause of it,” the man replied.

Nonsense. Nothing happens without a reason. Khun Aguero Agnis would never allow something as irrational as fate to make a difference in his life without a permission.

“And, Aguero,” the stranger continued. “Don't you want to know what was the real cause of your mark?”

“How do you know my name?”

With each passing second Khun found it harder to stay calm. There was a stranger in his house who had probably followed him before, and somehow even knew his name. Aguero didn't know if the man meant any harm, but he also wasn't too thrilled to check. Khun knew there's a chance he's in danger, and even worse – he didn't know how to escape from his own house to call the police.

“I've been watching you for quite a time.”

Yikes. Isn't that stalking? Suddenly, a wind blow came through the room, and left a slight impact on the man's hair. The dark cascades made a contact with golden light coming from his big eyes. They seemed familiar. Too familiar for Khun's liking. A quiet voice in Aguero's head was getting louder, and louder. And its screams were repetitively filling his mind with one word.

“Your name is Viole, right?”

The man nodded.

Jue Viole Grace has never considered himself to be an extraordinary human being. Well, maybe let's start with the fact that he never considered himself a human. As one of the creatures that most people thought existed only in fairytales, he tried to fit in really hard. And it wasn't an easy task. With his extremely pale skin, dark hair, and fangs that were a little too long Viole was rather easy to find in a crowd. Viole considered the twenty-first century as a nice change, though. In the previous ages, his appearance usually made people either scared or nervous. Not to mention when he had to run away from villages while being chased with pitchforks, and torches. And now? Now if people react to his looks at all, they usually just wonder if there was a new collection with vampire accessories in Hot Topic. Viole liked it. No one would believe he's a vampire anyway. The society apparently thought of reincarnation, and weird body marks as completely normal. But vampires? No, that's not possible. Yet what else could he expect, when after all these years some people still believed that the Earth is flat? Viole didn't complain, though. Conspiracy theories were way better than wasting his time on priests trying to exorcise him to get some demons out. Viole didn't mind waiting. He didn't remember his past lives fully, but there was one repetitive thing in all of them. Eyes made of cobalt. But not some ordinary blue eyes. Only the ones that belonged to his Aguero had this exact color. Dark, but not overbearing hue that looked almost mauve in daylight was irreplaceable. Every time Aguero was amused, his eyes shined with him, and Viole could swear on his life that they looked like a sky full of stars. He'd wait for Khun as long as it's necessary. But he hoped that the right time will come soon.

The fact that his Aguero remembered him made Viole feel relieved. Even if a detail or two of their relationship escaped from  his head. The last time they met his Aguero was gone too soon. Even though Viole would give up his own eternity for Khun, there was nothing that could remain immortal when facing this world's cruelty. The marks weren't necessarily equal with death. They meant that the soul has already perished, but brought no meaning when it came to talking about the state of one's body.

“How much do you remember, my Aguero?”

Khun blushed madly. Most people didn't dare to act informal around him, let alone call him Aguero. It didn't bother him, though.

“Not a lot, unfortunately. I don't get why everyone's in some kind of tower,” he replied.

“It's a long story, my Aguero. Too long for just one night.”

Said story wasn't the most pleasant one to tell, too. Even though the godless tower was supposed to bring them happiness, the true joy came with the disappearance of it. Viole couldn't possibly be happy knowing how many people died because of him.

“There's quite a few interesting things that I remember, though,” Khun smirked with a dangerously amused look on his face.

Viole almost didn't notice how quickly Aguero closed the distance between them.

“How loudly you were moaning my name, for example,” he whispered into Viole's ear.

Viole felt his cheeks turning crimson. Beacause of the long time he spent without his Aguero, he almost didn't remember what a tease he was. But Khun forgot one thing.

“Then you should also remember how much you liked choking on my cock, and begging for more.”

Aguero frowned. He didn't recall Viole being that bold, and it really turned him on. Their lips connected in a hungry kiss which was a beginning of a sinful act. At some point, Aguero's legs wrapped themselves around Viole's waist, and Khun wasn't sure if he had any control over them anymore.

“I think a need a reminder,” Khun said, and licked his lips. “Preferably in the bedroom, third door on the left.”

“I'll make sure that you'll never forget again.”

Quiet moans started to fill the spacious room. Tangled, blue hair partly covered Aguero's rose-red cheeks. His plump lips, now lightly swollen, were wrapped around Viole's member, and made honey-eyed man lose his mind. A stream of saliva on Aguero's pale chin, his half-closed eyes, and needy moans were enough of a reason for Viole to forget about anything else. His Aguero looked exceptionally pretty when he was so obedient. When defenseless, he seemed almost pure, and full of innocence. Or at least what was left of it. Viole felt that he's about to cum, but it was too early for

that. The fun has just started.

“Mm... Aguero,” he said with a hoarse voice. “Be a good boy, and lay on your stomach for me.”

Khun tried to stood up, but his shaky legs were a major inconvenience. Viole has already made a mess of him, and he didn't even properly touch him. When Aguero's throbbing cock touched the sheets, an obscene noise left his mouth. He wanted Viole's touch. No, not just wanted. He needed it. Now. He felt Viole's arms slowly roaming around his body. And then, a silky fabric of his own tie made contact with Khun's wrists, tying them up.

“Is it too tight?” Viole asked, and the only answer he got was an incoherent mumbling, supposedly meaning 'no'.

Viole's lips started leaving trails of kisses on Aguero's body, making their way to his inner thighs.

“Stop t-teasing me, Viole,” Khun gasped, not even entirely sure himself if the words made a proper sentence.

“I thought that good boys are more patient,” Viole replied. “You know that being disobedient results in a punishment.”

He didn't wait for any reply this time. He liked seeing Aguero like this. So vulnerable, and willing to do what Viole wanted. But he wasn't sadistic. He could pamper his Aguero a little, and skip the punishment part. Viole reached for the lube that laid on the nightstand, and let the cold substance cover Aguero's needy, twitching hole. Khun moaned loudly when Viole's member entered him.

“Harder, please!” Aguero yelled with no care that someone might hear him.

Hoarse incoherent sounds left Khun's mouth, when Viole increased the speed of his thrusts. The erotic act between them brought another deadly sin to their lives, and made it take full control of the lovers. A throbbing release of their passion ended with an intense orgasm, leaving two men in a chaos of their own bodies.

“Viole?” gasped Khun exhausted, craving for air. “I want to be yours only.”

“You're already mine, Aguero,” replied Viole. “You've always been.”

Gold eyes roamed around Khun's body once more, while pale hands untied him.

“Not in that way, Viole” Khun said. “I want to be yours forever.”

The man looked into cobalt eyes once more, as if he was looking for reassurance. Aguero was confident with what he wanted. Viole's lips left a few delicate kisses on his neck, and then bit it.

“For eternity, Aguero?”

“And even longer, Viole.”

Secrets Secrets Are No Fun | Bellamy x Reader

*Before the 100 were sent down to Earth there was a time of peace. Bellamy was working towards being a fair and just guard, all the while keeping his family’s secret. However, nothing has ever come easy for this dark haired leader, while working towards his dream, he meets someone unexpected. Y/N is one of the lucky few to live in luxury on the Ark. Her parents serve as members on Jaha’s Council. She never knew what lay beyond the Alpha Station. Soon, a chance encounter with a mysterious guard will open her to experiences she never thought were possible.*

My mother once told me that you never realize defining moments in your life until they become memories. That an ordinary day has the capability to completely change you as a person. Some believe that it’s the big moments that shape you into the person you become.Yet, she believes it’s the small details that slowly transform you. 

That being said, let me tell you, sitting here in Earth Skills, is definitely not a defining moment that will mould me into a better person. Our professor has been droning on for twenty minutes now about how to find drinkable water in a desert environment. I shift uncomfortably in my seat and then peer out of the window to my left, fighting against my heavy eyes to take a much needed nap.

Earth floats out there, void of any life and incapable of supporting any habitable conditions for humans, at least for the next few years. At least that’s what we’ve been told since we were old enough to understand. I’ve always dreamed of what it’s like down there, is it barren like a desert, or have the toxic oceans filled with mutant creatures? Ways of rebuilding the once prosperous land are always flitting through my thoughts. The architecture, buildings, and bridges that I’ve seen in movies and books fascinate me. 

I wonder if I’ll ever step foot on Earth in this lifetime. Part of me wants to see it happen and the other is scared at the possibility. I’m jerked out of my thoughts by the sound of laughter which is unusual because no one ever enjoys Earth Skills. I look around and see that the last few students are packing up to leave and Professor Bose is chatting up two guards.

One is a tall, serious looking man with bright shaggy blonde hair. He looks like he’s never smiled a day in his life. I can tell even from where I’m sitting, his straight posture and crossed arms signaled that he meant business. The other guard is a smiling young man with beautiful tanned skin. I’ve never seen him before and that’s a damn shame. 

He fills out the guard uniform nicely, and he stands laughing with Professor Bose in a relaxed stance. His hair is slicked back and I can’t help but wonder what it would look like messy. Like if I were to run my hands through it would it fall in waves or it is naturally straight?

“Miss Y/L/N, is something the matter? Class ended ten minutes ago.” Bose finally realizes that I’m still here.

I snap out of my stupor with rosy cheeks and began to collect my things. “Uh no, everythings fine, Professor Bose, I was just riveted by your lecture and had to take a moment to process it all.” 

Bose seems to like my answer and proudly straightens to his full height of 5’3. His cheeks fill with color as he says, “Why thank you, Miss Y/L/N, it’s nice to know my efforts to prepare you are appreciated.”

The burn of guilt settles into my stomach, I’m so going to Hell for that. The two guards turn their attention to me. I flush with all of the eyes on me and quickly shoulder my book bag.

Before he can ask me any more questions I slip out of my desk and quietly pass the two guards, not making eye contact with either. I make my way over to my locker to pick up a few things for my next class.

“Hi!” A bright and chipper voice squeals behind me, causing me to jump. A familiar face comes into view and I recognize one of my best friends, Briar. Her brown curls sway as she bounces in her spot. 

“Hi Briar, you’re looking even more energized than normal.” I say with a smile. 

“Why thank you, Y/N/N. I’ve been dying to tell you about the gossip I heard today in Ark History.”

I shake my head at her antics because she knows I have no interest in hear say but I let her tell me all about it on the way to our next class. 

After another boring lecture, Briar and I make our way to the cafeteria. At lunch, my group of friends gather around a table and catch up. We joke, laugh, and even argue over the most trivial things and I treasure this hour every day. 

“I say we skip fourth hour and take a trip to the cinema, they’re playing the Hunger Games! You know that’s my favorite classic.” Jen exclaims. 

“I don’t need any convincing, I’m down. Anything to get me out of Layton’s class, I swear that man has it out for me.” Brexten groans.

Jen laughs, “Well of course he does, you set him and the classroom literally on fire.”

“How was I supposed to know sulfuric acid and potassium mixed together was explosive?” I quietly giggle at him. Brex was incredibly good looking with his green eyes, perfect golden tan, and sandy blonde hair, but damn, his looks did nothing for that boy in school.

“That was the whole lesson! You slept through it and tried to finish the lab in ten minutes.” I outburst with a peal of laughter along with my friends much to Brex’s dismay.

Just as we’re settling down, a stotic guard passes by assessing the room. “That's the fourth guard I’ve seen today.” Mumbles Jen, looking down at her plate, pastel purple hair cascading over her face like a shield. Our group goes quiet as the man leisurely strolls past.

“Yeah, what’s up with that? I’ve never seen so many guards here.” Being that we went to school in the Alpha Station, crime really wasn’t an issue. Guards were super chill and there have been days where I haven’t seen any patrolling the Station.

“I’ve heard that something went down with the Griffin’s.” Brext shares. My spoon freezes halfway to my mouth.

I wasn’t super close with Clarke or her family. I knew that her parents did really important work and we would casually chat if we were at the same event, but I wouldn’t classify us as friends. The only common link between us was Wells. He was Clarke’s best friend and he was a close friend of mine. I don’t remember Wells ever mentioning or acting differently the past few times we’ve hung out this week and surely he would say something, right?

“Like?” I pry.

“Beats me. I’ve heard several different rumors like deliberate engineering failure to overthrowing Jaha.”

“Oh my god.” I roll my eyes. All the tension in my body eases, people on this ship have nothing better to do than to start stupid rumors to make their lives more exciting.

“Anyways, so we all cool to skip tomorrow?” Jen changes the subject. 

Briar and Brex both nod in agreement.

“Sorry I can’t, I’ve got a meeting with Jaha, kind of like a job shadow thing.” I say offhandedly, like it’s no big deal.

“Oh future Chancellor Y/L/N, I approve!” Briar exclaims.

I giggle at the excited brunette, “No way, I’d be awful! I just can’t narrow down what I what to do after school. I was talking to Wells in History about it one day and the next thing I know Jaha shows up to our pod and offers to help me out.”

“If that were me, I’d be shaking in my space boots. That man has the power to float anyone on the Ark!” Briar shivers. I roll my eyes at her.

“He can’t float people for no reason Bri, and besides he’s over at my house all the time with my parents. I forget he’s there sometimes.” I say fiddling with my orange. 

The afternoon quickly wraps up, and I’m walking back to my pod. I need a nap and I need it now. I could barely keep my eyes open for the whole day. I mentally curse myself for staying up reading old romance archives on my tablet. I would swear that I won’t do it again, but I know, my parents know, my friends know that it would be a lie. 

I grab a snack from my fridge and plop down on our couch. I turn on some old comedy program archive that I’ve seen a million times before. As I watch the screen I slowly eat my snack and cover up with a blanket.

My tablet is full of readings and homework due and the smart thing to do would be to start it early and get it done, but I know I’ll just wait to finish it in a panic at the last minute.

My parents left a note on the fridge saying that they would be working late and to call in for dinner. For the rest of the night I video call Briar and chat, watch so much bad old reality TV archives, and call in Chinese food and eat way too much of it.

When I look at the clock it reads 11:28 PM, and I know that my parents will probably aren’t coming home tonight. I turn off the living room lights as I walk out and head to my room. 

I take a shower, brush my teeth, and get ready for bed. I climb into my comfy sheets, waiting for sleep to come over me. But it never does. I toss and turn, I try listening to soothing music, breathing exercises, and counting sheep.

Do you know how desperate a person has to be to count sheep on the Ark? I’ve never even seen a real sheep before! Then this thought makes me pull out my tablet to find a picture of a sheep, which lead to me reading up on sheep and what they did on Earth. 

This whole thing somehow spiraled into me watching old video archives of people making wool shirts by hand. My eyes strain from staring at a screen for so long, I check the time and realize that it’s 1:02 AM. 

School is going to be so much fun tomorrow. 

I throw my head back before deciding that I can’t stay in my bed any longer. I throw off the covers and head to my kitchen. I grab a glass and hold it under the faucet. 

Maybe a walk around the Station would clear my mind. I glance down at my sleep shorts and long tee, my bare face and messy bun would probably scare someone but normally no one is walking around at one in the morning so I decide to chance it. 

I slip on a pair of slippers and grab my key. The dimly lit hallway is quiet no sound to be heard except the almost inaudible hum from the Ark keeping us alive.

I pad through the silent halls until I find what I’m looking for. There’s a small sitting nook that looks out at earth not too far from my pod. Whenever I can’t sleep or in need of inspiration, I come here and stare out the window until I feel something.

Earth spins out there, blissfully unaware that some of it inhabitants would soon return to gauge whether or not it’s safe for us to come back. The thought of possibly having a life on earth is terrifying. All I’ve ever known is the Ark but wouldn’t life on earth where you can travel great lengths, play in an actual ocean, sit under a real tree be surreal?

“What are you doing out of your pod?” A voice behind me questions.

I turn to face the voice and pale. First it's a guard and im technically breaking curfew by being out of my pod and secondly it’s the cute guard from Earth Skills I saw today.

“I’m sorry!” I blurt out then start to stupidly sputter an explanation why I was out so late. The handsome guard stands with an amused expression.

He leans over me to look out of the window and my heart stops and falls into my stomach. Then in an instant, it starts up again in double time. He was so close I could smell him. The strong smell of cinnamon and spice surrounds me and I refrain myself from leaning in closer and breathing him in.

He looks out the window, pausing for a moment to take in Earth. Then he straightens out and looks at me again. 

“Nice view. I’m Bellamy.” He holds out his hand.

I shakily take it. “Nice to meet you Bellamy, I’m Y/N.” His palm is warm and his long fingers gracefully wrap around mine in a firm and gently shake. “So, Bellamy, am I in trouble?” 

He thinks for a moment, “Since you’re the first person I’ve seen on my patrol and considering I don’t see anything hazardous, I’m willing to forget I saw you.” He smiles and I can’t help but smile back.

“You had me worried there for a second, thank you.” I reach up and fix my bun, a single strand falling from it and into my face. I realize that I look like a hot mess in front of a super cute boy for the second time that day. 

“Who did you piss off to get this shift?” I ask, pulling my knees into my chest. Bellamy sits down next to me and stretches out his long legs. 

“I’m a new recruit. We usually get put on these shifts until we prove ourselves and move up in the ranks.” He explains. I notice the way his freckles move as he speaks and find it adorable.

“My turn. Why are you up so late?”

I rub my arms to keep my hands busy. “I can’t sleep and I don’t know why. It seems like all day today I’ve been dying to close my eyes and then when it comes time to actually sleep, I can’t.”

I shrug my shoulders. Bellamy waits for me to continue, sitting beside me in comfortable silence. “My brain doesn’t seem to want to shut off ever. Every time I close my eyes I have a million thoughts running through my mind. It’s been like this for weeks and I’m afraid it’ll never go away.” I nervously laugh. It seems that the early morning hours have made tired enough to share my feelings with a complete, albeit attractive, stranger. 

Bellamy is quiet for a long time, and I start to wonder if I’ve scared him. But before I can crack a joke to try and smooth over the depressing turn this conversation took, he responds.

“I feel that. Ever since I’ve become a guard, it’s like I’m trying to prove to everyone and myself that I deserve. Prove to my family that I can support them, prove to my superiors that I deserve this job, and prove to myself that can handle it all.” His takes on a raw edge, like he’s been tormented with these thoughts for a long time.

I nod, “It’s a lot to keep to yourself, but you also don’t want to burden your friends or family, so you just…” I trail off.

“Keep it to yourself.” He finishes and we lock eyes. It seems like we have a lot more in common than I thought.

I nod again, not trusting myself to speak anymore. We sit beside each other and stare out the small ship window. The sun slowly begins to peak its head from beyond the horizon when I finally begin to feel exhaustion overtake my system.

I feel my eyes flutter and I stretch my neck out to try and become comfortable. My forehead falls forward makes contact with something warm and soft. I’ll rest for five minutes and then I’ll go home, I tell myself. 

A hand gently rubs my back, waking me. My eyes lazily open and I yawn. “Hm?”

Bellamy chuckles, I feel his lips press into my temple. “Sorry to wake you, but people are going to start waking up soon and I should get back to my rounds.”

I lift my head up and realize how close we are. I was sleeping on Bellamy’s shoulder! Dear God, what if I said something in my sleep? Did I drool on him?

I can feel my cheeks burn and I quickly stand. Bellamy does the same, his dark head towers over mine.

“I’m sorry I fell asleep on you. How long was I out?” I straighten my shirt and I don’t dare to look him in the eyes. 

“Don’t sweat it, and you were only out for a couple minutes. I’ll walk you back to your pod.”

Not like I can say no to that, I smile and thank him. We quietly make our way through Alpha Station making small talk. I realize that I really enjoyed talking with Bellamy tonight, I confided in him with things that I couldn’t tell my friends or my family. It was nice to not have to put on a face for someone. Disappointment rushes through me when we stop at my door, we’ll probably never do this again.

“Here we are.” I announce, stopping by my pod door. “Thanks again for tonight and walking me back.” 

“My pleasure. And, you know, if you ever need to talk again, I mean, you don’t have to come to me I’m just offering, I wouldn’t mind- uh if we…” He stutters, a faint pink blush fills in the apples of his cheeks. 

I’m smiling like an idiot watching him try to form a coherent sentence. “Yes?” I press.

He clears his throat. “If you ever need to talk to someone again, I usually have this shift four days out of the week. I liked talking with you tonight.” 

My chest does this weird fluttering thing and I try to respond too eager. “I liked talking with you too, Bellamy, thanks. And your offer goes both ways. If you need to talk I’m up late almost every night anyway.”

I unlock my door, I say good night to Bellamy one more time and watch him wave me off before closing the door. I have to be to school in a few short hours, I hope I can get in enough sleep so I can be at least a little bit coherent. 

I slide under my covers, and this time it seems like sleep is waiting for me. I blissfully sink into a dreamless sleep. The last things on my mind before I drift off are freckles and dark hair. 

Merry Christmas, @chefhector!

I hope you like this. It was supposed to be "just" a soulmate AU but it suddenly became a wing-fic as well.

Read on AO3

*****

What change can do

Alec's mark is in the same place as everyone else's. He was born with it, he carries it on the inside of his wrist, just like everyone else.

For a child, a soulmark doesn't mean much. Parents, reasonably, tell their children not to worry about it, because it will come to be important on its own, later. Much later.

Maryse is the same kind of parent. Her children are supposed to learn and train and when the time comes, they'll find their partners because that's how it goes. Maryse doesn't care for the romantic aspect of the partnership. She was never Robert's soulmate, anyway, but they made it work.

Nephilim are there to keep the world safe and it's important for them to find their mates for one reason: Soulbond makes you stronger.

Alec grows up aware of it but he's also taught to only ever rely on himself. No Soulbond can make one a better Shadowhunter if one wasn't already a good Shadowhunter to begin with. Besides, Shadowhunters die. It's not as often as it used to be, thanks to the evolving technology, but their calling is still a dangerous one. There is no sign to tell them that their soulmate has already died and the marks are unchanging from birth to death.

At seventeen, Alec lies in bed after a successful patrol, looking at his wrist in the low light of the lamp on the nightstand. He hasn't decided yet what he feels about the complicated pattern. Of course, he prefers to have it rather than not because it would be completely strange if he didn't have one but he wonders sometimes how it'd be like to live without a person destined to be with you. Would it be simpler?

Sometimes he thinks his mother thinks so. She isn't too willing to discuss his mark with him, preferring to go over reports instead to teach him how to approve them.

The Lightwood children know their parents aren't soulmates. Alec wonders if that's why his mother looks at his mark strangely sometimes and why she doesn't encourage him to search for his mate.

Maryse directs him to more leading than hunting positions and it only makes sense she'd want her own heir to the Institute. The leaders are chosen on their merits but it doesn't stop the oldest bloodlines from keeping up their aristocracy status all over Nephilim world. Alec doesn't mind his mother's ambitions for him. He has his own ambitions and he can see himself where his mother is when he's old enough.

It's all fine.

It isn't until he's nearing 19 years of age when he realizes his mark isn't quite like the others. Obviously, they all differ from each other like snowflakes but his is different.

Alec only sees that when he's with his sister, adoptive brother, his soulmate, and their friends: the consul's daughter and her soulmate. Aline and Helen have met four months ago and they are one of the pairs proving that soulmates really become better together. Quicker, stronger, more observant, healing faster.

Jace and Clary are another pair. (Alec's complicated feelings about not matching up with Jace are his own secret.)

Just like Alec, Izzy hasn't met her mate yet but Alec personally believes she shouldn't want to rush.

Of course, his sister wants to have her mate already. She's full of energy, an excellent warrior on her own, and she can't wait to be even better than that.

That day, they end up discussing the Soulbond and the marks in their little group and it's then that Alec sees his pattern is simply different from everyone else's. The marks are like a dense pattern, an ornament on the skin made from crossing straight lines. His is the same size as the others, fitting the width of the wrist, but it isn't made up from just straight lines. There are two loops and one s-like line among the crossing triangles and octagons.

Alec knows their parents don't have any curling lines, either, but he never gave it a second thought before. He never studied other marks before, because he didn't care to and it'd be a little rude to stare at someone's mark outside of the family.

He doesn't know if it means anything.

Nephilim society is much, much smaller than the mundane one and finding one's mate is also much, much easier than in the mundane world. There have been ideas of creating a database with photos of marks made in childhood but it was never implemented because of reasonable concerns about the soulmates' safety in case someone didn't like their children marrying into a specific family.

When he's 21, Alec's mother still doesn't seem to think he should be actively looking for his mate. She keeps him busy with work, preparing him for his future.

And maybe it makes sense- if he's supposed to be in the Institute leading it, it matters less for him to have a compatible partner to be better fighters with. It matters more that he knows the Law and the procedures, and it's more important that he meets other Institute leaders and diplomats to give a good foundation for his career, not his soulmate partnership.

The only thing is, Alec wants to be loved.

Alec still goes on patrols because it wouldn't do for him to lose his good form and be out of practice for when it will be needed. The mundanes go about their lives unaware of the demonic threat hanging over them, kept back efficiently by the Shadowhunters.

They're also unaware of the other layer of the world: the underworld, the Downworld, the dark realm of magic and creatures with only half of human blood.

The Nephilim generally don't interact with them unless there is a demon summoning involved and the responsible warlock has to be found. The magic users of the Downworld are capable of summoning demons or making requests of them but to be fair, that happens rarely.

They stay away from each other since the oldest times, the Nephilim not wanting to mingle with those with tainted blood and the Downworlders not caring to be around the uppity winged creatures.

There have been some attempts at establishing diplomatic relations but those attempts had an effect for maybe ten years each time and they were only local for certain Institutes, not spanning the whole underworld.

Surprisingly for Alec, his sister becomes interested in the history of those relations. She comes to him after one of her patrols, talking about the people she's met in the mundane world, ones with half-demon blood.

Alec isn't very approving of that, not wanting his sister to put herself in danger. Not that there have been many cases of conflict but Alec prefers them to be safe rather than sorry.

Downworlders aren't forbidden from coming to the mundane world but they rarely do so because a warlock is needed to let them through. There are exceptions where Downworlders make a life for themselves in the mundane world. Most of the time they're warlocks and werewolves.

Isabelle is sitting sideways on the edge of his desk, looking down at him.

"Look, do you really think we should live like this forever? Separate?"

Alec's eyebrows rise.

"Yes? What need do we have to be working with them? We're doing our work on our own and we don't need distractions from that."

"You sound exactly like mom, you know that?"

"Maybe it's because that's what she taught us, because it's right?"

"I just think that's lazy. We could get help from them. We could get information from them. Unlike us, some Downworlders have mundane spouses and they live in the mundane world."

Alec sighs.

"I know that. It still doesn't make them useful to us. One, they'd have to run across demons to give us information about them or two, they'd have to betray their own kind to tell us about those who summon demons."

"It wouldn't have to be a betrayal. They don't want demons as much as we don't want them. It's like saying the mundanes wouldn't ever talk about their mundane criminals."

Izzy looks exasperated and maybe even a little angry with him.

"Maybe so. We still have more important things to do than that."

"Would you consider going there with me, just to see if maybe they'd be willing to talk with us?"

"Izzy, no. I'm not going anywhere to try something that isn't even going to get us anything."

She turns around and storms off without a word.

Over the next two weeks, Alec figures out that his sister isn't running into Downworlders randomly in the mundane world. She is going to them.

Nephilim are allowed to go to the underworld but since there's just no need for them to ever do that, they're out of place in the markets of the Downworld, what with their wings and their over-serious attitudes.

Alec finds himself there one day, following his sister. He's very much out of place. He tucks his wings behind him to make himself smaller because he'd hate to accidentally knock something over in the more cramped streets of the market.

He hasn't lost track of Isabelle but he's taking his time, looking around. This place is not different from the mundane markets in terms of layout or architecture. What's different is the werewolf, warlock and Seelie sellers and patrons. And vampires, too. In the underworld, the light is not their enemy.

Alec is glancing at the wares, the potions and amulets, and other perfectly ordinary items needed for everyday life.

It's a little noisy.

Two collared hellhounds run past him, barking excitedly.

A minute later child runs up to Alec. He startles a little because the only child he ever interacted with so far was his own little brother so he's not entirely sure how to proceed with a stranger's kid. What he knows, though, is that he should lean down to hear what the kid wants from him.

Alec crouches down and the child's eyes widen, clearly focusing on what's behind Alec's face: on his wings.

"Hello," Alec says.

"Hello," the child echoes. And then: "Are those real?"

Alec chuckles. "Yes. They are real. Do you know about Nephilim?"

The child nods and keeps staring.

"I'm visiting for a little while."

"Oh."

It's an 'oh' full of awe more than just acknowledgement of the information.

Alec can't fight the smile that's curling his lips. He waits. The messy-haired child is still looking at him, wide-eyed, and he wonders if he'll be asked more questions.

Then he sees the question is clearly coming.

"Can you take a feather out?"

Not quite what he expected, but…

"Just one? Yes."

"Will you? Please, would you give me one?" The boy's hopeful face wins him over.

"One for you, because you asked politely," Alec says with acted solemnity.

The boy claps his hands in excitement.

Alec looks over his shoulder, unfolding his left wing a little to find a suitable feather. There are some that need to be removed soon to make room for new, undamaged ones. He picks the best one so that the kid can have it.

He hands it over and the kid hesitates before taking it in his little hand. Once he has it, he gasps, shouts thanks to Alec and runs off. There's a little group of children watching them a little distance away and the boy runs to them, showing his treasure.

Alec chuckles. Max used to be just as easily excited when he was that young. He still is young but he's so interested in learning new things now, he doesn't play as often as he used to.

Alec stands up from his crouch, knowing that he's now more behind on searching for his sister than he was. When he straightens up, he sees something.

A warlock is watching him and probably has been watching since he started talking to the child. He's leaning against the wall with one shoulder, his pose casual, his head tilted in a curious manner.

He's beautiful.

Alec blinks.

The warlock smiles.

Alec stands there, waiting to see if the man wants something from him, even though he should go on his way.

With grace, the man uncrosses his arms, straightens and walks over to Alec. He gives Alec an obvious once-over, including his wings.

"What is a child of the Angels doing down here? What do you want from us?"

"Nothing," Alec shakes his head. "I'm waiting for someone."

"Oh? You don't want anything from us, which means there is another one of you around for you to wait for?"

"No, I-" Alec flounders for an excuse but the man raises his hand.

"Relax, little bird. I'm not accusing you of anything."

Alec doesn't relax. He crosses his arms on his chest.

The stranger warlock seems amused for some reason but Alec prefers to be careful and do his best to avoid angering anyone around.

The warlock speaks again: "Is the one you're waiting for dark-haired and winged as you are?"

"Maybe."

"Family?" He makes a gesture indicating Alec's wings. "Same patterned feathers."

"Maybe."

The stranger chuckles. "Do you want me to take you to Isabelle, little bird?"

Alec's eyes narrow. Do these people know his sister by name? He doesn't try to pretend anymore so he nods.

"I would like to hear your name first," the warlock says. "If you're willing to give it."

"Alec."

"So short?" he tilts his head as if he's trying to fit the name to the man. Then, he gives his hand for Alec to shake.

"Magnus Bane."

When Alec does, static electricity that passes between them makes his fingers twitch in surprise. The no-longer-stranger feels it, too, but he doesn't say anything.

"Follow me, Alec."

Alec follows. They walk side by side, the warlock's movements are graceful, fluid. Alec is stealing glances at him, at his hair and his black-lined eyes, and the silver earcuff on his right ear.

He's not like the others. The jewelry and make-up stand out the most and Alec realizes that the whole area looks… kind of poor. Not like slums but there is a certain level of restraint in the clothing of the people around. Minimal jewelry, clothing appropriate for the weather and not fancy. No, not poor – modest.

Both the Nephilim and Downworlders have different fashions from the mundane people and Alec can see the difference between his own people and those walking past him and Magnus.

He eyes Magnus again. Warlocks have magic and therefore are the most respected members of the Downworld. It'd make sense for them to be better dressed than the others. Still, Alec supposes magic can't make money or else things would be looking very differently here.

They've entered the residential area. Alec wouldn't have ventured here on his own without some reservations and when he'd come here first, his tracking told him Izzy was somewhere near the market. Now he knows she isn't there anymore because he's lost too much time and he decides to just follow Magnus.

Knowing his sister's name isn't enough for Alec to remotely trust him but Alec also doesn't want to offend anyone by being overly cautious. If anything happens, he has his weapons on him, concealed.

"Here we are," Magnus makes a grand gesture at the door which is too plain to be presented to anyone this way.

"Is this someone's home or…?"

"Or." Magnus smirks.

Alec looks at the building. It's modest, normal for the underworld. It's clean and tidy around it. There are hanging lacy curtains in the windows so he can't see anything inside.

"Lead the way," Alec tells his warlock guide.

They enter and immediately hear the voices of the house's occupants. Isabelle's voice is among them and the others sound like children.

Alec is confused but more than that, he's curious. Even though he could now go to his sister on his own, following the sounds, he waits for Magnus to take him to the right room.

Isabelle is sitting in a large living room, a whole group of children of various ages around her and an adult woman with blue skin and white hair is bowed over the same thing Izzy is looking at.

Alec and Magnus stop in the open door and Magnus is silent while Alec takes the scene in. Soon enough, he realizes that Isabelle is drawing blood from one of the children under the blue woman's watchful eye. To his surprise, the other kids are watching too, curious rather than afraid of the needle. Leave it to Isabelle to make them interested in a procedure normally considered scary by kids.

He would have hated to distract her from such a delicate work so only when she's done, does he speak up.

"Hello?" He starts, hesitating over his words. After all, it's not like he was invited to follow her. Although, on the other hand, she had tried to talk with him about the underworld. She probably would have asked him to come with her.

Isabelle looks up, surprised, but then she smiles widely when she sees him.

"Alec!" She stands up and the children make room for her to get to the door.

"What are you doing here? You followed me? Or is something wrong topside?"

"No, nothing is wrong, I only… wanted to see what you're doing."

"Well, you found me. And if you're willing to listen now, I will tell you all about what I've been doing."

She pauses and looks at the man still standing beside Alec.

"Thank you for bringing my brother here instead of chasing him off."

Magnus shrugs.

"He didn't do anything to deserve chasing. And it was no hardship," he gives Alec a pointed look that the Nephilim struggles to understand. Those golden eyes have a power to make him flustered, it seems, so Alec seeks a distraction – no, wait, it's the other way around. He's here for a serious matter and those eyes are the distraction.

"All right," Alec turns to his sister, "so what is this?"

"This is an orphanage and I am here to help with the sickness that has been weakening Downworlder children."

Alec frowns. "Is it serious?"

"Not yet," Isabelle answers and at the same time, Magnus says: "It can be."

"Okay," Alec says slowly, "How did you even know about this?"

"I ran into one warlock in the mundane world on my regular patrol. He was looking for some things to help with potions. We talked. He suggested that I see this for myself. So I did."

"And now? What are you going to do? Researching this?"

She nods. "I'll be taking the blood samples to our lab, see what I can find out."

Alec has several conflicting thoughts in his head. He isn't entirely surprised that Isabelle decided to do something like this. She's good at science and figuring things out. She's also compassionate.

At the same time, Alec wonders if she's here in part to spite their mother and maybe in a way, him.

But it doesn't really matter. What matters is that she's here, she's doing this and Alec knows she won't stop.

The best he can do is get some more information.

When he starts asking more questions, Magnus interrupts him gently and suggests they go sit down instead of standing in the living room with the kids.

First, he walks over to the other woman and exchanges some words with her. She's been watching them talk but she didn't leave the children to join them.

Then, Magnus leads them to a side room which looks like an office, if it was normal for offices to have amulets and magical artefacts all over the shelves, fighting for space with the many books, no doubt containing spells.

Alec tucks his wings close again but Isabelle appears to be much more at ease. How many times has she already come here?

Magnus sits down with the same grace he walks and does anything else. Alec chastises himself for noticing.

"Like she already said, your lovely sister has offered to help us with some problems we've been struggling within our world. This sickness, in particular, is a concern…"

"Can't you heal it with magic? Potions?"

Magnus nods slowly. "We can. It's not deadly for the time being. If you came down from your world a little more often, you'd have known there aren't that many warlocks around. We can't be medics around the clock. Potions require time as well as ingredients. Broken limbs in werewolves, young warlocks poisoning themselves with their own potions, the occasional demon crossing over to our side. We handle all of that."

Alec glances at Isabelle.

"They can go to mundane medics only if they have an identity in the mundane world," Isabelle says. "And only with non-magical problems."

"Do you think we can help?" Alec asks. "We're not like them-," then he looks at Magnus, "like you. I mean, biologically and magically."

"We're different," the warlock agrees. "But you have means of helping. Your kind always has but we barely even exist for you."

Alec frowns.

"Isn't that what everyone wanted? Three worlds, separate to keep peace in each of them?"

A strange expression crosses the warlocks face.

"Yes, isn't that what everyone wanted… You are right, of course, about the peace. It has worked well for a long time. But minding our own business shouldn't mean abandoning relations completely. Or do you think it should?"

Faced with a direct question like that, Alec wonders. His mind is going over everything their mother has ever said about the underworld.

'Don't bother them', 'don't waste your time on someone who doesn't even want you there', 'we're watching over the whole mundane world and there's not enough of us to spare. They've got their warlocks'.

"Do you want to maintain relations with us?" Alec answers with a question.

"You don't know that we've asked for assistance a few times? Many years ago. We stopped trying."

"I- didn't know."

"I can believe that. You're young."

Isabelle speaks up: "We've got a chance to change that. Help them with the sickness, gain some trust and goodwill."

"Iz… that's not a decision for you to make for us all."

She doesn't waver.

"I may not be the leader but I do know this is the right thing to do. And you are going to be the leader so I think you should be here and hear these things."

"I am here but if you think I can do anything at this time… I'm just the possible candidate."

Magnus is watching them closely. "You're going to be the leader?" he repeats.

Alec would have preferred this detail to stay unknown and he shoots his sister a disapproving look.

To Magnus, he answers truthfully. "I might be. Most likely."

"All right, so you're from the big-name families."

"Do you… mind?"

"Nah. It doesn't make any difference to me. You're all the same Nephilim to me."

Alec isn't sure if that was supposed to be a positive thing. Probably not.

He realizes he doesn't want this warlock to think badly of them, for some reason. Well, the warlock certainly appreciates Izzy but he doesn't know Alec yet. Alec, who should be finding a way to convince Iz to go home but who is more interested in having Magnus talk to him more instead. Magnus, who is beautiful, has eyes of a cat and who is looking at Alec like he wants to ask all of his secrets.

When the woman from the other room comes in to apologize and ask Magnus's assistance with something, Alec finds himself strangely disappointed.

Magnus goes with her but first he thanks Isabelle for today's help and voices his hope that she'll be able to keep helping them. As for Alec, Magnus stops in front of him, tilts his head in that way he's done before, and looks Alec up and down.

"And you, pretty boy, are welcome to drop by any time. Even if you're going to silently disapprove of your sister, I could use the eye-candy."

Alec flushes, his face growing hot while he's failing to find an answer. No one's ever said anything like that to him. Magnus doesn't wait for him to find it, he leaves to follow his fellow warlock back to the kids.

Alec's left with his sister in the warlock office. He's stubbornly looking down at the floor until his blush goes down.

On their way back to cross over to the mundane world and back home, Isabelle tells Alec more. He finds out the blue woman is Catarina, a warlock medic. She tells him more about the orphanage and other sick kids, who have Downworlder families worrying about them. She tells Alec about other people she's met there and knows by name.

He can hear it in her voice how eager and determined she is to help.

They walk and she tells him more about the Downworld.

When they're out of there, they take flight.

Instead of going straight home, Alec tells Izzy to go take her samples to the lab because he wants to fly a little longer.

* *

He doesn't go with her the next time she leaves, even though she tells him she plans to go.

Alec ends up bringing up the Nephilim-Downworld relations with Maryse one day and knows immediately he shouldn't have. She shuts anything he says down, telling him he doesn't have the time for this now. If she's going to step down and move to a position in their home world, she has to know he's ready to keep up with the standard she's set up in the New York outpost.

Alec knows all that and he's working hard. He's doing everything she ever told he should and more on top of that, because he set a bar high for himself, too.

And yet, she speaks to him like he's about to disappoint her. In fact, he's surprised by how irritated she is by him mentioning the Downworld, especially when she realizes he's actually gone there. She doesn't have the right to forbid him from going there but he feels like she would have done it if she could.

He drops it because he's taken aback by her reaction and a little hurt. He'll try again after he's figured out how to convince her it's not a waste of time.

Alec goes with Isabelle the next time. They fly together, cross the two worlds to get to the Downworld.

They appear in the market, as Alec has done the first time and Isabelle leads him back to the same orphanage building.

Magnus isn't there and Alec's mood drops. Still, he spends time with the kids Isabelle is examining. He plays with werewolf pups and notices there's more of them than warlock and seelie children counted together.

Alec isn't sure what he's even doing there. He has no skills to help out and it feels like he's there to accompany Isabelle and find out more about the Downworld. Maybe that has to be enough for now.

His thing would be to talk with the adults, learn more from them. Find out what they're thinking about the Nephilim. He's planning to do that but he needs Magnus to be his guide and his first contact because Alec isn't about to start bothering the others in the streets.

Magnus does appear before an hour passes. The Lightwoods are still there, Isabelle is talking with Catarina in the office and Alec is looking over the whole orphan group. Having wings helps immensely in keeping children interested. They've seen Isabelle's already but his are larger to fit his larger form and are more of an attraction.

Alec doesn't know that Magnus has been watching them for a good while before stepping inside the room to say hello to the kids and Alec.

He's welcomed loudly and with excitement. While the group crowds around him, Alec has a moment to look at the warlock. He's in a dark purple shirt today, purple streaks in his hair to match. His pants and jacket are dark, making Alec think of storm clouds.

Silver rings shine on his fingers when he makes an elaborate gesture, his magic forming around his hand to produce a satchel full of something. Kids cry out, clearly happy and expecting something in particular from this.

Alec assumes Magnus has a habit of bringing them all sorts of little gifts. Maybe candy.

Magnus tells them to share and warns he'll be making sure later that everyone got one. The tallest child gets the satchel and the group leaves to go investigate the contents in the play corner where a low and wide table stands for kids to use.

Smiling, Magnus watches them go and then turns to look straight at Alec.

"I hope you're not giving away any more feathers, little bird. We've had many children born these past years so you might just be left with nothing."

Alec shrugs. "They regrow," he says, pretending full seriousness.

"Well, in that case maybe I should ask for one as well."

"Do you want one?"

Magnus doesn't reply. He's looking at Alec and Alec returns his gaze.

And then, Magnus says: "Follow me, please."

Alec does without asking questions. Since the office is taken by Catarina and Isabelle, Magnus leads him to another room in the building. The corridor is as plain as the rest of it that Alec has already seen and it leads them to a room in the back with large windows. They can see the back garden through them.

The plants of the underworld are unlike than the ones topside. Their bark is darker and their shapes more twisted. Not ugly, but strange. Low bushes fill the space between the tall ones and their flowers are past their prime- it's no longer the season for new blooms.

Magnus didn't bring Alec there to look at the local flora.

He stops by the window with Alec following him closely and he turns to face him.

"Alexander," he begins and surprises Alec with the full name. Did Isabelle tell him? Did they talk about him?

"The night after your visit, we had an outbreak of the sickness. It surprised us. Catarina had already used most of her reserves of magic that day so I took over. I sent word to another warlock to come to help me when I would inevitably run out as well… Catarina distributed potions and began making new batches while I healed those who were brought to us. It took hours. The requested help came but.. I still had magic in me to heal. By morning, we've stopped the progress of the sickness in all the children so that the potions could work from there. I still haven't run out. I portalled home and dropped in my bed… tired but without a headache."

Alec is listening, wondering why Magnus would tell him all that. The warlock is speaking softly as if he doesn't want anyone to listen in, even though they're alone.

"Do you know what this means, Alexander?"

Alec thinks about it and comes up empty.

"No?"

"I got a boost," Magnus says. "My magical reserves were bottomless that night. And the only stranger I had interacted with that day for more than five minutes had been you."

Alec's throat becomes tight. "I don't know what you mean."

"Haven't you noticed your wings becoming tireless for a day? Haven't you possibly fought a demon and slayed it in record time?"

Alec opens his mouth to speak but no fitting words come to his mind. He had been flying for hours after he'd parted ways with Isabelle. His wings didn't ache the following day.

"Do you want to see my soulmark?" Magnus asks gently, softly, as if the question might offend Alec.

Alec manages to find his voice but it comes out raspy. "If you want-"

Magnus rolls up the left sleeve of his shirt and a black, dense pattern becomes visible. He offers his wrist to Alec, who leans closer.

Two loops, an s-like line. Many straight lines.

Alec's brain is frozen in a moment. Stuck. He's looking at the soulmark but he's not processing the meaning.

It isn't a thing that happens, Alec thinks and his thoughts sound like his mother's voice.

He can't be soul-bound to a warlock. He's a completely different race…

And his mother was so angry about him having visited the underworld… she didn't push him to find his mate among the Nephilim… because she knew. She must know.

She's older, she's seen his mark since his birth and she must have wondered about Alec's loops and lines. She'd figured it out, either from books or someone else's knowledge.

And she didn't tell him.

Magnus is waiting, silent, with his arm still held up for Alec to see. Slowly, Alec reaches out to touch his skin. With one hand he holds Magnus's forearm and with the other, he traces the patterns. Touching them won't give him any arcane knowledge but he wants to be closer to it. It's the counterpart of his mark, so in a way this is his, too. On Magnus's warm skin. Goosebumps raise on it in the wake of Alec's fingertips.

The warlock is still silent and it dawns on Alec he probably should reciprocate. He lets go of Magnus and takes off his own cover, the black band he wears over his mark.

And then, a smile slowly brightens the warlock's face. He's gazing down at Alec's mark like it's something precious in itself. Like he's seeing… like he's seeing something he's lost and found again.

Alec doesn't know why that came to his mind. He doesn't know what Magnus is actually feeling…

"Are you disappointed?" Magnus asks.

"What?"

"Are you disappointed it's me?"

"No. No." Alec shakes his head for good measure. "It's unexpected. It doesn't matter to me."

Magnus doesn't appear convinced.

"It matters to your kind. Your leaders."

"Yes."

"I don't want you to lose something over this. Your position or respect."

Alec takes a breath, considering his answer. Somehow, in this empty, gray room of the orphanage with only Magnus there, Alec's thoughts clear and he finds it's not that difficult to speak his mind.

"I wasn't looking for my soulmate. Izzy's looking but I didn't care to do it. I thought if it was meant to be, we'd run into each other sooner or later. I had my work to focus on. It's important to me. I probably could have lived alone for years."

"Aren't you lonely?"

"I am. I was. My point is, I didn't care about my soulmate for as long as they were somewhere away from me. They were… just a thought."

"Do you care now?"

Magnus isn't meeting his gaze. He's looking down at the mark.

"I've met you, talked with you, touched you," Alec reaches out to take his hand again. "You're a real person, not a concept."

Alec hesitates before his next words. "You're my person."

Magnus laughs. A startled kind of laugh, one he maybe didn't even mean to let pass his lips.

"I'm your soulmate," he says out loud, like they're magical words to make this more real. "And you're mine."

"Do you mind?" Alec asks him.

Magnus shakes his head decisively.

"I've waited so long, nothing could have possibly made me complain about my soulmate."

They don't make any plans. Alec will continue to visit with his sister and they will see what happens from there. Soulmates or not, they've seen each other all of two times. They need to learn about each other.

Alec doesn't tell his sister that day. He will, but for now this is for him to think about on his own, not announce it to the world.

* *

Meeting with Magnus regularly makes their new powers stick. It's no longer a day-long effect like Magnus had described but an almost permanent one.

When Alec goes on patrols, he always goes with Jace and Jace's soulmate. If – when – they notice his abilities changed, they will keep it a secret for him. He goes with Isabelle, too, but she's been spending even more hours in the lab lately. She's allowed because at the same time she's continuing her work on purely Nephilim research. (Besides that, Alec knows their mother thinks this is keeping Isabelle from running around, crossing the worlds.)

Magnus works long hours using his improved magic to heal while Isabelle at his side tries to find a chemical solution to a demonic sickness, and the other warlocks try out new potions.

Alec can't help them directly but he spends more time working in the Institute, with one goal in mind. The stakes have changed for him. He has to become the New York leader if he wants to change how they're treating the Downworld there. He's not dreaming yet of influencing the Nephilim in other parts of the world but he's always been good at working steadily, point by point until the task is complete.

He has to be the leader so that no one can try to order him to give up his warlock.

Maryse tries to do just that. She finds out (he knew she would) the truth about Alec's trips to the Downworld. Surely not from Isabelle but ultimately Alec doesn't care how she found out.

She's angry. Oh, she's so angry about his unusual soulmark.

"I've done everything to keep you safe from this," she's saying, pacing the floor of the office. "I raised you to be an excellent Shadowhunter and the future Head. I haven't even asked you to find a suitable partner to live with and to be your support, I let you be. But you still did this?"

Alec doesn't particularly want to argue with her. He doesn't want to have to defend what should be a clear thing. He has a soulmate and it's his right to be with them. His position on this matter is clear and unnegotiable. But his parents aren't soulmates. They'd married because they chose to and although Maryse appreciates the importance of the powers soulmates give each other, she wouldn't understand standing face-to-face with a destined person.

"Isabelle I get," Maryse goes on. "She's always gone her own way, no matter how badly that reflected on us as a family. She's made the Downworlders her little project, that's fine. We let that go. But you, Alec, must be blind not to see how what you're doing is wrong."

"What am I doing, mom? I'm only getting to know my soulmate. I'm helping him help his people and I also  make sure my work here doesn't suffer from it."

"You're giving him power. He's a warlock. With your soulbond, you're making him twice as powerful."

"He's doing the same for me."

Disappointed, she shakes her head.

"Most Nephilim find their mates, Alec. Whether or not you do, doesn't matter that much for our strength as a group. It's not the same."

Alec shouldn't be surprised, but he is. It hurts.

"Why are you saying things like this? If he didn't have me for a mate, he would have had someone else-"

She interrupts him.

"No, Alec, he probably wouldn't. Warlocks rarely find mates. Downworlders can have mundane mates, did you know that? How likely do you think it is for a warlock to find theirs in all the years they live? And if they do, how long do you think they keep them? You accepting the bond is not a usual thing. You are giving him – them – the advantage."

"To do what?" He asks, incredulous. "Attack us? What nonsense are you trying to convince me of right now? We've never been at war with them. There's no reason for us to avoid each other except for our pride."

"Dignity, Alec. We are meant to be separated if we want to hold up our mission. They are demon-blooded and are prone to corruption."

He nearly rolls his eyes.

"So are mundanes. They're corrupted even without demon blood. Downworlders could help us. Because of the demon blood, warlocks are able to fight demons and track their origin as well."

"That has always been the case," she replies. "And you did know that. You're bringing this up now only because you met a man you're interested in."

Alec looks down.

"You're right. I wouldn't have cared before. I had to see them for myself to change that. I chose to change that. We're supposed to learn, to be better, not stagnate. There is nothing you can say that will make me give my soulmate up. He isn't a threat and the others aren't either."

"Fine. We'll see soon enough."

"We will."

*

The same evening, Alec flies straight to Magnus. He knows where Magnus's home is by now because he has been invited there and instead of crossing the worlds in the market and walking from there, Alec takes flight. The Downworlders' eyes follow him curiously but since they know they have two regular Angel children visitors, they don't think twice about it.

Alec knocks with a little more strength than necessary and Magnus comes to the door quickly, thinking someone might be needing his help.

He's surprised but very pleased to see Alec's face.

Then, he notices something isn't quite right. He can read it in Alec's eyes and the way he's almost buzzing with emotions.

"Come in, Alexander."

Inside, he takes Alec to his living room and tells him to sit. Alec sits on the sofa and Magnus lowers himself to a crouch in front of him.

"What's wrong? Something happened?"

Alec sighs.

"I fought with my mother."

Magnus understands.

"Over me?"

"Yes. Apparently now that you have powers from our soulbond, you're going to become our nemesis and destroy the world."

Magnus smiles, amused. If Alec can joke about this, Magnus will let himself be a little less concerned for him, even though surely conflict with his own mother is a serious thing.

"Oh. Of course. That's right, I forgot to tell you about my plans. I'll be very busy this week."

At that, Alec smiles, too.

They look at each other, both seeing the fondness in their soulmate's eyes.

"May I sleep here tonight?"

"Of course, little bird."

"With you, I mean. In the same bed?"

"Yes. You don't need to ask twice. But first, would you like a late dinner?"

"I- yes. I might have forgotten to eat today."

Magnus nods. "I thought so."

He stands up and Alec stays on the sofa because he can watch Magnus from there.

The house is as modest as other Downworld buildings but Magnus puts his colors on himself instead. His clothes and hair, and sometimes eye-makeup when he doesn't have just the kohl.

Alec knows by now that warlocks can only create some things with magic. The rest are summoned from elsewhere. Most of the time from the rich mundane world because they wouldn't steal from the already lacking underworld.

Tonight, the dinner is being summoned. Magnus can cook but he doesn't want to waste time doing it and he doesn't want to make the Nephilim wait when he hasn't eaten.

When they sit down to eat together, Alec mentions Isabelle. She thinks she's close to a breakthrough with the cure.

Magnus nods. "She has sent me a message. I hope it will work. You know we're grateful for the help even if it takes longer to make a cure. You've done a lot for us."

"I haven't done anything."

Magnus gives him a pointed look.

"You're with me. You're making it possible for me to heal more people, sickness and injuries. Thanks to that, Cat can spend more time in the apothecary and tending to other needs in the orphanage. Not to mention you've been spending time with the children."

Alec stares at his plate. "It's nothing," he mutters but he's silently pleased with the warm tone Magnus is speaking to him in.

They finish the meal and move to the bedroom. Magnus stops at the door, puts his hands on his hips and considers his bed.

"That's not made to fit a Nephilim. I never thought I'd be dating one."

He sends magic out to fix that little issue. In a blue mist, the bed widens and with it so do the bedsheets and the comforter. Then, Magnus adds more pillows even though he already had a whole herd of them there.

"That's better. Come on, darling, you actually look like you'll be out the moment you lie down."

He isn't wrong. Seeing the bed, Alec is suddenly overcome with tiredness.

They strip to their underwear and then lie down, looking for the best position for both of them and the wings.

Magnus is thrilled to have them there. Those thick, fluffy wings which he knows are as soft as they appear because he's touched them during Alexander's previous visits. They must make a bed warmer at night, too.

Despite everything, Alec doesn't pass out the moment his head hits the pillow. He's awake and keeping his eyes open, and Magnus wonders if he wants to talk some more.

He does.

"I'm already exhausted thinking about the future… but I can't give up. Especially not just because of my mother."

"It's always hard to be the one to go against the flow. But you're not alone. Your sister started it. You mentioned your adopted brother. Surely he can be asked to back you up."

"Yeah. He would. He will. But we're just… Some older members of the council still see us as kids."

"But you aren't. You don't talk and act like a child, Alexander. They will see that."

Magnus reaches over to the part of the right wing he can touch. He runs his fingers down the feathers, just like Alexander likes.

"We don't have to solve this tonight. We don't even have to solve it this year."

Alec sighs, content where he is, with his mate touching him, even though his mind is troubled.

"I have lived for a long time and underworld has existed for a long time. We can wait for you to succeed, my little bird."

Alec closes his eyes, let's himself just feel Magnus's fingers smoothing down the feathers ruffled from the wind in his earlier flight. Sleep is just behind the corner, already fogging his mind. Tomorrow, he'll wake in a better mood, ready to work again.

... Five Years Later

I never set out to start an aesthetic blog, for as much as I’ve been curating one for the past half decade and counting. This whole thing started with the idea to start collecting images from around tumblr that sparked ideas for various writing projects without cluttering up my hard drives. It shouldn’t have been so surprising that not long after starting this habit, a cohesive, if eccentric, aesthetic began to emerge. There are a few well worn grooves in my mind when it comes to my artistic vision, I guess.

That vision has expanded and refined over the years, and curating o-blivia has become a project in its own right — independent of anything I’m writing even if it’s still a well for inspiration. And in this respect, o-blivia is meant to be more than an aesthetic, though it is that. Through imagery alone, I’ve been carving out something of a cyberpunk future. With that ever in the back of my mind when I sit down to tackle my queue for the day, a loose set of internal guidelines has developed for what does and doesn’t get posted. Figured it was time I expanded on them a bit, maybe involve you all in the process.

Firstly, the world is a complex, multifaceted place and I’ve always wanted o-blivia to reflect that in ways most cyberpunk works can’t while telling a specific narrative. That’s why it probably seems like I jump around a lot. Eclectic is a word for it, but it’s more the idea of presenting a rounded vision. In someways, this is my answer to where or how ordinary people are supposed to exist in the Cyberpunk Future(tm). Mainly, right mixed in with the mercs, cyborgs and basement hackers. Everybody’s gotta live somewhere.

Secondly, representation. Representation is achingly important. I’d hardly be the first to accuse the visual media in this genre of being whitewashed (blade runner, I’m looking at you,) nor to point out the absurdity of a globalized future lacking in diversity, and I’m not going to claim to be the first to refuse to perpetuate the tendency, either. It certainly wouldn’t reflect the world I live it. They call my country a cultural mosaic and my city a melting pot, so I’ve set myself the task of creating an equally rich fictional world — because we are the better for all our differing perspectives.

The thing about representation is it doesn’t mean shit if it isn’t done respectfully. It isn’t as though marginalized groups have been completely absent from media for the last century. The context in which they’ve been represented has been racist, demeaning and beyond disrespectful in much the same ways they’ve been treated in real life. Society is changing, and — albeit at a glacial pace — coming around to the idea that white people and their stories are not the universal default. For the longest time, there was next to no diversity in the cyberpunk tags on Tumblr. It’s gotten better, but I still feel that I have to put that extra bit of effort into finding and including images representing diverse groups in respectful, empowering and humanizing ways.

On the subject of representation and respect, I have to talk about my biggest peeve when it comes to cyberpunk Tumblr: the way women are portrayed, or the goddamned tactical bikini. Cyberpunk has a litany BAMF women characters, yet the art has remained firmly entrenched in trends that originated in the 80’s. The tendency is to have these big hulking male power fantasies decked head to toe in body armour and leather, while their female counterparts take up literally half the space, showing up to combat in daisy dukes and a bikini top wielding a big fuck-off gun like that’s how any sane person would show up to a gunfight.

There is nothing inherently shameful about the female body, I want to make that painfully and abundantly clear. My issue is not with how much skin is showing. No, my issue is that these images are meant to specifically portray women as sex object. The only conclusion you can come to is that these women have put appealing to the male gaze above bodily safety, which is beyond insane. So my rule when it comes to women with guns is that if she’s dressed in a way that is realistic, or that I could easily find a man similarly dressed, I will post it. If she’s dressed for a day at the beach instead of heavy combat, that shit is not getting anywhere near my blog.

That said, context is very important. So yes, I will post images of more provocatively dressed women if the context is right. Mainly, if she isn’t about to go into combat and the image is empowered. There is the odd exception, namely Tank Girl, who wields her sexuality like a weapon and pushes limit of provocative into the realm of raunchy with the intent to offend and scandalize. (She’s my hero.)

And above all else, on this blog, women are the default and not the other way around. So you will see at least as many, if not more women than men here. No, I don’t feel bad about it.

Lastly, it’s important that I address the depictions of violence and militarization that appear on o-blivia. It might seem incongruous with opinions I’ve expressed in the past, and with my own experience with gun violence, to have these depictions feature on my blog. I’m not a pacifist, even if violence is not something that I feel lives inside of me in anyway. Neither do I believe it realistic to expect a species as divisive and opinionated as we are to be capable of abandoning conflict and bloodshed any time soon. Someone is always going to find some way to be crueler, to inflict more suffering and pain, which means there needs to be someone to stop them.

I never set out in my mind to create some kind of utopian future — that’s not what cyberpunk is about by anyone’s definition. So to omit the presence of militarized forces, the threat of violence, or the realities of omnipresent surveillance would be disingenuous and would, I think, undermine what I am trying to create.  That said, I don’t seek to glorify violence, either. I don’t post images of firearms on their own, even if the image would fit the aesthetic, and I don’t post images where proper trigger discipline is not being respected. Guns exist, theres no way around that, but they should be treated with the trepidation and caution due to a device capable of ending a life between one heartbeat and the next.

Other than that, it’s pretty much anything goes. I’m an open minded person with varied interests — technology, fashion, abstract art, architecture, videogames, cats, sea creatures, space, design, weird creepy things and street art, are just a few regularly occurring themes. Who knows what will spark my interest tomorrow.

Hi I have been a fan of your work for a very long time and so I sneak into your tumblr from time to time.I counldnt help but notice that you post a lot of political/sjw stuff and I know it is none of my business but since I am probably absolutely opposite in my political views I can't help myself and ask: I understand that you are Asian, but you don't seem to be interested in real or imagined injustices in your country/continent and are mainly interested in USA, why is that?

Hi, anon!

First of all, I am not Asian and I’m very sorry if I ever did or said anything to mislead people into thinking that I was. It was unconsciously done. I have no intention of offending anyone or appropriating an identity that isn’t mine, so if I did something of that sort, please let me know and I’ll do my best to correct myself. I often reblog stuff about China because I think it’s an amazing country, I’m learning Mandarin (not making much progress, though), love their culture, nature, architecture and am a big fan of their historical/fantasy dramas. Also, the two fandoms I was the most active in (coincidentally) happen to be a Japanese anime and a Japanese video game, so I have a lot of love for their art and aesthetics.

I’m actually very surprised that you would ‘notice’ that I post a lot of ‘political/sjw stuff’, considering that I mostly use Tumblr to repost Merlin gifs, cast/crew news and fanworks. There is maybe one reblog on just about anything else for every fifty (perhaps even more) Merlin posts, so I really have to wonder which of the RL issues I posted about bothered you so much that you would describe them as ‘a lot’.

I may be misinterpreting the tone of your ask, so forgive me if I misread your intentions and am responding too harshly, but in my experience, ‘SJW’ is a term that is used to be dismissive when people are talking about real social issues, plus I found your wording of ‘imagined injustices’ very… interesting.

Also, I find it odd that somebody would unironically ask me why I’m ‘mainly’ interested in the USA.

First of all, the global market is oversaturated with American media, American products, American news, American movies, TV series, music, you name it. It’s everywhere. Of course I’m going to know more about it than, say, Lichtenstein. The exposure of American public figures is insane and it just happens that the stuff that appears on my dash is most often related to the USA because that is what the people I follow also follow (and for the record, on Tumblr, I mainly follow the Merlin fandom and to a somewhat lesser degree, various artists, baby animals, Chinese traditional outfits, Buzzfeed and NASA news). I absolutely do reblog pure evil, injustices, hypocrisy and intentionally inflicted misery in other countries too when I see them, but I don’t actively go looking for them on Tumblr, just like I don’t actively look for the USA posts either. The USA posts are simply there, without much active input from me, while other countries are not. An important point, of course, since we are having this weird discussion about why a random person outside of the USA is consuming so much American media, is that English is the only foreign language I am fluent in, so when it comes to foreign content, I am primarily going to read and interact with posts in English. And which country creates the most content in English? Yup, you guessed it!  

On a similar note, everything that happens in the USA affects other countries too. Nothing that goes on there takes place in a vacuum and the USA has made damn sure that it has its fingers in each and every single pie all over the world. Everything, the good and the bad, spills over and trust me, we feel the effects acutely in my unstable, politically fraught little country. The economic and cultural implications are enormous, so you can bet American issues are very personal for me, even if I don’t live there. My country’s government consists of puppets in the hands of various world leaders playing tug of war with actual human lives. My literal paycheck depends on the stability of the dollar. The survival of the entire human species hangs on how we deal with climate change right now and that ignorant, illiterate orange shitstain Americans voted into power is now standing on a global platform, spouting nonsense that is barely one step removed from Creationist bullshit and Flat-earther conspiracies. And you seriously ask me why I’m interested in the USA? 

The USA loves to dub itself as ‘the leader of the free world’ and ‘a global superpower’, and has managed to stick its nose into everybody’s business everywhere (usually with no good intentions), but somehow you question why the rest of us are now going to be interested in what is going on there, not to mention critical when the US government spouts absolute rubbish not just on a domestic, but also global scale? So, yes, I am personally invested in what is going down next in the USA and am sitting here, half the world across, cheering Americans on as they fight to have that shame they elected removed from power and, hopefully, incarcerated, along with all his corrupt cronies, advisors and family members. I’m going to be genuinely celebrating here when he finally goes down!

Secondly, I come from one of those countries that the USA and its allies have destroyed for their own gain and where they have ruined countless lives over multiple generations. I have every reason to notice, take a personal interest in and comment on the hypocrisy, the grandstanding and the false moral high ground that is assumed by the USA (and any of its bootlickers) when I see it.

For any of my USA followers here, I would just like to note that I am perfectly capable of distinguishing between ordinary people and disgusting government policies enacted by corrupt or incompetent politicians. I realise this post sounds angry, but I wish only good things for you all, people are people everywhere and the stuff I’m talking about is way above the average person’s paygrade. I also realise that the USA has screwed over so many of its own citizens; including its war veterans, PoC, minorities, the poor, the weak and the disabled. My heart goes out to you all, truly, and I love you all!

(BTW, I intentionally have not said which country I’m from because I’ve stopped publically stating my location online, simply because it makes it too easy for malicious people to identify me IRL that way. I don’t necessarily hide my RL identity if I have a valid reason to reveal my true name and location, but please forgive me for not stating it outright here, on a public platform, to satisfy the curiosity of an anon ask. My country is misogynistic, homophobic and hostile to all who are non-conforming and my job prospects are hard enough without my online pseudonyms being generally known in my RL circles. I used to be much less secretive about it, but have since learned the error of my ways and am now taking the most basic of precautions.)

With that said, yes, my country has issues! And, fyi, I have ranted and raged and cried about them before online, IRL and in private. I have posted about my country’s political problems everywhere, including here, when I was just too angry to hold it in because I’m absolute shit at being careful even when I make a conscious effort to be. Most recently, I raged about our elections which were a punch to the gut. If I was to start typing about the corruption, injustices and absolute evil going on around me, I would never stop, but I’m not going to do that because that’s not what I come to Tumblr for. This is primarily a fandom space, mostly for fandom stuff, where I come to look at other people’s things and almost never create content of my own. Just about anything political has been reblogged from someone else because it showed up on my dash and touched a nerve. Very little of that is stuff from my own country because nobody creates and reblogs posts about it in the fandom circle I mostly interact with.

I’m now trying to think back to what ‘SJW’ issues (as you put it) I reblog the most often and how any of them are ‘imaginary injustices’. Off the top of my head, the ones that usually touch a nerve are about the oppression and discrimination of women, patriarchy, sexism, various kinds of abuse, sexual assault, overworking, capitalist brainwashing, mental health issues, LGBTQ issues, freedom of speech, resurgence of Nazism, the gap between the rich and the poor, climate change and criminal religious institutions regaining power in society. I can assure you that none of these is ‘imaginary’ and the negative ways in which they affect me and the people around me are very, very real. Also, none of them is unique to the USA, which is what you seem to be the most concerned about, and even if the post is from or about the USA, these problems definitely overlap with things that I, and countless people around the world, are personally experiencing and have a lot of feelings about. The only social issues ‘unique’ to the USA that I often reblog are the ones related to the particular US brand of racism and the appalling, still-ongoing genocide committed against the indigenous people there, and how can you not empathise with that when it’s so egregious? I will reblog them every time they cross my dash to spread awareness since the US government is actively trying to stifle it and rewrite history and idc who is uncomfortable.

With all that said, I’m open to corrections and have no problem admitting to being wrong once I realise I’ve made a mistake. So, this goes for all the people following my blog: if any of the posts I shared are about ‘imaginary’ issues (just… wow at the use of this word) or contain false information, please feel free to let me know and I will take it under advisement. I’m always willing to learn.

My Royal Kidnapper novel read online - Prince Thayer and Kennedy Gilby - Bravonovel

My Royal Kidnapper

https://www.bravonovel.com/my-royal-kidnapper-8411

My Royal Kidnapper novel is a romance story about Prince Thayer and Kennedy Gilby.

Blurb : Kennedy Gilby works hard for years for the promotion. Before she takes the risk, traveling to the country she never heard of for the assignment, she meets a green-eyed, smoldering hot, and devilishly handsome Thayer that any woman will wrap their hands around him. She just broke up with her ex, yet she’s already dreaming of His Royal hotness in disguise. When she learns the real identity of the arranged to be engaged prince, she runs away. Thayer Camren Gattewarde Braynburd works hard for the monarch. When the King becomes ill, Prince Thayer decides to bring a woman of his own choice even if the time is not on his side. The moment Thayer lays an eye on Kennedy, he knows she’s the one. He is used to getting what he wants. When he realizes he’s madly in love with her, he kidnaps her, not only once but twice. To Kennedy, she’s not ready to give up her career and her ordinary life, but the charming prince is willing to give up his title to make his future wife fall in love.

You can read this novel online on Bravonovel and keep track of the latest chapters

My Royal Kidnapper novel Chapter 1

KENNEDY

My life just takes a detour.

My playlist blasted on my Airpods. I didn’t give a crap taking off my sunglasses as I entered the lobby of the 45th story building, ignoring the incredulous looks from the receptionist in a dark blue uniform throwing at me. At the back of my mind—what, bitch?

I punched my floor number as I entered the elevator. A few ladies and men in suits joined me. 

I hoped Siena came to work early. I was not in a mood to answer her twenty questions right now.

Thankfully, I arrived on the 20th floor. I excused myself from where I stood at the back. As soon as the elevator shut closed behind me, I took off my Airpods and checked my watch—I was two minutes late, which never happened since I started my intern at Style four years ago.

My heels clomped heavily along the tile floor. Pairs of eyes pinned at me as I followed the aisle toward my cubicle, ignoring my bleeding heart. I threw my bag on my desk, took off my eyeglasses, and shoved it into my bag. 

Taking a seat, I hit the power button on the desktop. I had been good at compartmentalizing. What was so hard of ignoring a bad breakup? It was not that he was the only one has a dick in town. 

My hand froze around the mouse by the clearing of the throat. Not much of trying not to get someone’s attention when you arrived late, eh? 

“What?” I focused my gaze on the screen.

“You’re late. It never happened. Ever.” It was Serenity. We started our intern the same day. 

“I woke up late,” I lied. In truth, I barely slept last night. I had not gotten a blink on an empty stomach. I couldn’t swallow the food when upset—no, raging mad like a bull seeing red. 

“Don’t you set your alarm like three hours ahead? Your alarm is on the nightstand, and you have a phone, Kenny.”

I clicked the folder on the screen, even if I could feel her searing stare at me. “I’m working. I should compensate my two minutes late, Sere.”

She snorted. At the corner of my eye, she crossed her arms over her chest. “Your eyes told me that you’re right. You didn’t get enough sleep, but that’s not the Kennedy Gilby I knew, babe. What’s wrong?”

I shut my eyes closed and inhaled deeply before I looked at her. Serenity was kind and loving. She was the kind of friend that you wanted on your side. The kind of friend who agreed to your terrible decisions because she didn’t want to hurt your feelings. She was also adorable with her big bright blue eyes and curly long bronze hair. Of course, all of us working in Style was fashionable with free wardrobes weekly.

“He broke up with me.” I sighed. 

“What the freak—” She looked around when she figured her voice came out louder. “That freaking Gorilla Raoul?” Her eyes grew even bigger. “What happened? Didn’t you just move in with him two months ago?”

That son of a bitch. He was persistent in asking me to move in with him. Then he just broke up with me with the clichest speech of the clichiest—it’s not you, it’s my crap. To be honest, something just shifted the moment I moved in. We’d been dating for almost a year now, and it was good. Then he just went cold feet on me.

“He told me it was not working.” Well, he was right. We hadn’t had sex in two weeks—either he said he was tired, or he had a deadline to meet. Apparently, working in one of the best architectural firms needed a lot of his time.

“He’s an a-hole, Kenny. You deserve someone better.” That was what I thought. Serenity was the kind of friend I wanted right now. She squeezed my shoulder. “I’ll help you move out. I know just the right movers.”

I pasted a small smile on my lips. “Thanks. Now can I get back to work?”

“I understand. You’re still in the denial stage. If you need a drinking buddy, I’m here.”

I rolled my eyes. “You could barely take a single shot. Siena and Faith are better drinking buddies, but you’re welcome to tag along and be our DD. I could use a drink or two.”

“Count me in then.” She smiled.

My chest constricted again. I understood that sometimes, men freaked out when they used to be living alone. They needed some space, but I couldn’t think of any reasons why he broke up with me. He was kind and considerate. Sex was great. So what had gone wrong? I didn’t think there was a third party involved because Raoul had been thoughtful and faithful. He would never cheat on me.

“Asshole.”

“Who?” 

I jerked in my seat. “Hey, Sien.” 

“Is he the one who put eye bags under your eyes?”

I didn’t have much time to put on eye patches. “I don’t know what are you talking about, Sien. I just got insomnia last night.”

“Wow! You looked lively without sleep. How much did you consume caffeine?”

I stared at Siena—the man-hater, but she had a strong personality. She could deal with difficult people. I always envied her strawberry blonde. 

“I’ll be fine tonight. I promise to take two cups of Camomile tea.” I wanted to roll my eyes, but it was cut short when our big boss emerged from her glass office door.

I rose from my seat. Today, she would have a big announcement that I’d been waiting for for almost three years now. My skin tingled in anticipation. 

If there was the Devil wears Prada, Madam Alessia Hearst, our Executive Editor wore Hermes from bags, scarves, and belts. Louboutin for her shoes, and I didn’t have to mention the choice of her jewelry and watches. She had her own stylist, but she barely agreed to interviews. She took her private life seriously. If she did, it only focused on her job, not her personal life. 

Alessia Hearst remained a mystery to me. But man, she was sophisticated, classy, and stood tall at least five feet, nine inches tall. She always kept her chestnut hair short. What I loved the most was her medium skin to my Porcelain.

“What the hell is wrong with your eyes, Miss Gilby?”

I gulped. I could feel everyone’s gaze on me. My face heated when Alessia kept her gaze on me, waiting for my reply.

“I had a hard time looking for a new apartment last night. I was planning to move out of my asshole ex’s apartment—” My hand clamped my mouth.

My colleagues chuckled around me, but I was also known to have confidence. So, I stood straight and rolled my eyes.

“What’s funny with moving out? We women should never depend on men. When a relationship can’t make you happy anymore, then get the hell out of it before it strangles you, depresses you. It’s ugly. Your mental health is important, and the pain will heal than staying in a toxic relationship.”

The entire floor went silent—a deafening silence.

Wow! She must be single.

“Now, my announcement. I’ll be taking a week’s leave starting on Monday. When I come back, I’ll be announcing my chosen candidates for our new senior editors. Now back to work.” She turned around.

Disappointment cut through me like a knife. I’d been working hard for the past years. I knew if I was good at it and not. What the hell was wrong with announcing it today? Was she planning to change her mind when she came back?

After a few seconds of excruciating silence, she called my name. Yay!

“Kennedy?” Alessia just called me by my name. She was still holding the door for me. Oh, my God. This is it! 

Heat rose to my cheek.

“Yes?” I strode in her direction. “Alessia.”

She did not reply but closed the door behind us. It was not the first time I was in her office. The creative lighting and geometric designs had her personal touch. Incorporated with bold colors, it added sparks of creativity, excitement, and at the same time, a calming effect.

I took a seat on the sofa a few steps away from her desk.

“I’ve checked your portfolio carefully. I admit that I was hard to be pleased and impressed.”

“Thank you.” I smiled.

“You’re good at what you do—” But I felt there was a but at the end of her sentence.

Crushed by disappointment, I dropped my gaze. 

“Oh, for God’s sake, Alessia. Just get to the point.”

…...

Continue to read the chapter 2 of the novel My Royal Kidnapper

https://www.bravonovel.com/my-royal-kidnapper-8411/chapter-2-216730

Read more exciting novels on Bravonovel App

https://www.bravonovel.com/download-bravonovel-app

Interview with Ruth Padel

Ruth Padel is an award-winning poet who teaches as Professor of Poetry at King’s. She has published over 20 books, 13 of which are poetry collections. The King’s Poet’s Karen Ng talks to Ruth about her new collection, Beethoven Variations: Poems on a Life and her experiences as a poet.

How did you first realise you wanted to write poetry?

I enjoyed poetry as a small child and found I knew poems by heart without trying to learn them, so I started writing them. It was natural, like singing.

How much of a relationship is there between music and poetry? Poetry is music! What influence does music have on your poetry? Does it play an important role in your life?

I grew up playing piano, and viola – like Beethoven – and singing. The first money I ever earned was £5 playing viola in Westminster Abbey. There were professional musicians in my father’s family. His grandfather was a piano soloist born in Christiansfeld, south Denmark, who studied at the Leipzig Conservatoire with Beethoven’s pupil Ignaz Moscheles. In 1868 he settled in York, teaching and playing. His son, my grandfather played violin and as headmaster of Carlisle Grammar School established a vigorous school orchestra and a family string quartet, a tradition that my dad continued with all of us. But I’ve also always sung, wherever I’ve lived: whether this was Cretan mantinades with workmen in the archaeological trenches at Knossos, or in more formal settings, in choirs. And – for a couple of evenings, unpaid, in an Istanbul nightclub.

Can you tell us about your new collection Beethoven Variations? What inspired you to write about Beethoven?

Inspired isn’t quite the word – it snuck up on me! I wrote poems for a Beethoven concert, to read between an early and a late string quartet. I focussed on the twenty years of Beethoven’s life between writing the early and the late and it went great in performances. Audiences said the poems deepened their experience of the music, which was wonderful, and a great, unexpected compliment. But I knew the poems weren’t finished, and kept them on the back burner while I wrote two other collections. Writing those – one a poetry narrative called Tidings, the other lyrics on my mother’s death but recalling her life – fuelled me to tackle the story of Beethoven’s life.

I began by visiting his birthplace in Bonn, and wrote the book in 2019, on sabbatical in New York. It helps to put a perspective distance of some kind between the experience and the writing of the poem. I reworked the original poems, responding to his life but also his evolving work, in four sequences like the four movements of a traditional quartet. I whittled these down to twelve poems in each of four sections, thinking of the architecture of a quartet – like Eliot’s Four Quartets – and using my own musical life as an example of someone influenced by Beethoven, by playing him. So I threaded glints of my life through the poems, playing music but also searching for him in the places where he lived. I added an introductory poem, Listen – the thing Beethoven became unable to do, but which is absolutely crucial in playing together – about the way my parents met, through playing music. 

Above all I wanted to get across his personality, the vivid counterpoint between his cut-offness – he was ruthlessly focussed on creating – his suffering, the awful deafness, his impatience, rows with everyone and devastated disappointments, and his warmth, liveliness, love of conviviality and jokes.

Behind it all, though, is Europe, his and mine. He grew up in Bonn, in Germany, on a street which dead-ended at the Rhine. He used to gaze at the river through a telescope from the attic, and was fascinated by the largest hill beyond – the Drachenfels – which he eventually climbed. So I crossed the Rhine and climbed that too, and then I followed him to Vienna when he went just as Austrian armies were mustering to fight Napoleon. The Europe he’d grown up with was changing very violently and so was mine. This was the year before Brexit, with right-wing factions – primed against immigration – growing in Austria, Poland, Hungary. The dark rifted history of Vienna, that white imperial city, ancient heart of Europe, along with the holocaust, and psycho-analysis which was born there – all that gets into the poems.  

So does the contrast between the glamour, the gilt, creamy spaces and carved stone curlicues of the great palaces of Vienna, owned by rich feudal nobles – many of whom commissioned his best pieces - and the poor dark ordinary homes to which the musicians returned after they played in the glittering halls. A whole hidden history of social injustice, exploitation, and the inequality Beethoven railed against all his life – he yearned and burned for humanity to be free of it – is built into the beautiful architecture he walked through every day, the very fabric of those wonderful cities.

So, it’s a book of poems on a man’s life, someone who was the great artist of hope, the epitome of enormous creativity coming out of suffering. It is in four sections. His life from birth to twenty-two, then to thirty-two when he was making his name, thirty two to forty two, when he said farewell to love and the ‘Immortal Beloved’, whoever she was, then on to fifty-six, when he died. Followed by a prose coda of Life Notes which I wrote just to underpin the poems historically, but they mutated into a prose sequence on their own: a narrative which functions as indirect commentary or supplement to the poems but is also a standalone mini-bio.

You have written biographical poetry before, in Darwin: A Life in Poems. How does the writing process with this type of poetry differ from others? Moreover, as A Life in Poems can be considered a family memoir as well, how did the writing process differ from Beethoven Variations?

I wrote the Darwin book in a very few months, my editor wanted to bring it out on his 200th birthday, February 12th 2009. A lot of the poems incorporate his words in letters and writing. Though the introduction mentions me and my granny, his grand-daughter, I don’t put myself into those poems so it is not really a memoir in that sense. Whereas with Beethoven I bring my own musical life in, as an example of the way Beethoven’s music lives on in all of us..

Can you tell us about influences on your writing and how have your influences changed over the years?

Everything is an influence, but the poets were Kipling, very young, from the Jungle Books, then Tennyson, Keats, Gerard Manley Hopkins, Virginia Woolf, Elizabeth Bishop, Sylvia Plath, Heaney, Charles Olsen, and on. But also the Greek poets, from Homer to Seferis.

You studied Classics and Greek poetry at university. Do the ancient poets influence your writing?

Yes. Especially Homer, Sappho and the tragic poets, Aeschylus, Sophocles, Euripides. I spent twenty years studying them for my PhD and two books, In and Out of the Mind and Whom Gods Destroy: their words and thoughts got into me at every level.

What do you think modern writers can learn from the likes of Sappho and Homer?

Intensity of imagery, the crucial, precise relationship of words to each other, linguistic excitement, and always to address the big things through particulars. How poetry inheres in our relationships – to each other, to the natural world, and to the motivating causes of what happens to us, which might be our own emotions, or the gods. And how your job as a poet is to keep finding new words, the truest words, to explore all that.

Do you enjoy translated poetry? When “lost in translation”, can nuances in the original language ever be retrieved – without yourself, as reader, learning the language?

Translations of Anna Akhmatova, or Mandelstam, are among some of the most iconic and influential poems of the twentieth century. Different poets translate differently well. The Greek poet Seferis, for instance, often translates very well, while people are always trying to do Cavafy differently and in a way failing. Yet Cavafy is really the greater poet. It varies. But of course we need to read translations, to expand our sense and knowledge of the possible.

What do you enjoy the most about teaching poetry?

When you see someone suddenly get it, and the poems suddenly burst with real unique life. But also in class, when students work together generously as a team, and start to notice and bring up about each others’ poems points you might have picked up on yourself – but also things you would never have seen and thought of. That’s wonderful – when students say things you would never have got to on your own. When you know they are travelling, they will be ok.

Do you think poetry is sometimes perceived as an inaccessible art?

I addressed the idea of poetry being ‘difficult’ in two books written out of the columns I wrote for several years for a Sunday paper on reading poetry, 52 Ways of Looking at a Poem and The Poem and the Journey. I pointed out that it is not more difficult than we are! We are difficult creatures, our lives are difficult, so is the world we live in. Complex and difficult – shouldn’t our poetry be up to us, in ourselves?

One problem poetry has today, as compared to, say, the 19th century, is that other arts and media have taken over some of the roles it used to fulfil. Film, popular music, TV. But it can still do something nothing else can, offer a memorable, intense new way of seeing the world and your own experience, in distilled, concentrated words that really grip you when you come upon them.

How important do you think writing communities are, in fostering ‘better’ writing? In your experience, is writing helped by discussion?

Yes, yes yes! But also no. Workshops, in which a bunch of you – who trust each others’ judgement and generosity – offer help on each others’ poems, are a wonderful way to grow as a poet and learn how to read and critique as poets, how to see where each poem can work more convincingly. A place to discuss your poems and the principles behind them, and also new work you are reading. That’s the situation we try to replicate in seminars at King’s. But you also have to be on your own with the work, do the thinking, experiencing and writing on your own. The ideal is a dolphin-like progression through the waves. Up with the others in the air, but also down under the water alone.

Does poetry always benefit from constant re-drafting and experimentation?

Yes.

Do you think poets should make a habit out of writing every day?

There’s no ‘should’ about it, if you want to write well, and better, you will.

Do “sentences that sound poetic” or flowery writing always indicate good writing?

No!!! That’s a terrible word, that word poetic. Poets don’t use it. It usually means warm and fuzzy. And facile.

Does a writer need to have natural talent?

Of course. You can acquire craft, but you have to have an ear and an instinct too.

Is practice and growth more important?

Also of course!

What are your thoughts on spoken word poetry?

Its effects depend very much on the presence and voice of the poet-performer, the physical sonic relation with the audience.

Do you a favourite literary journal, or a poetry platform you would like to recommend?

Our King’s poetry journal Wild Court has reviews and essays as well as new poems from international poets, and also supports our event series Poetry And... – which I explained in the Guardian, when we started it, aims to illustrate poetry’s connectivity to all areas of life and learning. We are setting up the next Poetry And... for May 13th: Poetry And Obisidian. It will feature three poets who are among the first alumni of the Obsidian Foundation for emergent Black poets, set up by prize-winning poet Nick Makoha, currently doing a Poetry PhD at King’s. Wild Court is now beginning a slot for King’s work too. Post-graduate from our PhD Creative Writing students, and Undergraduate from students who have completed poetry modules, in consultation with the Editor and Creative Writing tutors. Wild Court aside, Poetry Review with its brilliant series Behind the Poem, Poetry London, Prac Crit and The Scores all have excellent new work.

The Magic Circle

The term 'Magic Circle' is understood simply as, "a closed space where certain acts or behaviors might happen, that wouldn't typically happen outside of that space" (1). Within this 'Magic Circle', the context to every situation is important as it tasks people with certain roles that are not always the same, thus fundamentally generating a new narrative by engaging our imagination, feelings and behavior. By understanding more about the 'Magic Circle', we may be able to analyse key aspects about play that can help us re-imagine the way people collaborate with each other. This in turn would also provide a strength towards creating and testing a game in during its creation. So what are core values to the magic circle and what gives it relevance to play and game design as a whole.

Figure (1): Bass Speaker drum digitally manipulated. The magic circle has no physical form but is a space set by limitations.

Prof. Mary Flanagan pitched the idea of the 'Magic Circle' as "a safe space for experimentation... a place to practice what we see in our daily lives" (2). An example she used for this instance was the use of children's dolls. A Victorian doll house is a very grand and luxurious compared to a modern day one, as it does not stand to the same level or detail and scale. But this design of the doll house replicated the Victorian style of architecture and living environments, it's purpose was to replicate real houses for kids to fantasize about a reality built on their perception of social roles, norms and culture. Mary also makes it evident the critical importance of this scenario by stating that "...critical in the terms of dissecting or looking at something very carefully as a scholar but I also think of it as this critical moment that we have that popularity of games ...this is really about cultural importance, what are those games reflecting about" (3). Flanagan uses the term "critical" to signify the importance of cultural belonging and heritage as games that are popular are reflected by the number of players in a demographic, nationally or globally. I think that the relationship between the Magic Circle and Culture show a very strong link towards how we think in regards to cultural appropriation and belonging. Being able to envision and act in a scenario can help us to learn more about people's interests and behaviors given in real world scenarios that set the boundaries for sacred spaces and places to practice rituals.

Figure (2): Prof. Mary Flanagan giving her speech at TEDxDartmouth

All actions in an area marked off before hand either mentally or physically show no difference in play and contemporary practices. Temporary fictional places serve form and function with special rules much like the ordinary world. An example of this is a Theater for a play of live action performances. Actors enter their magic circle and follow their scripts while acting accordingly. Acting tries to make the audience believe the realism of their scenario. This would lead the audience to believe in their own magic circle that an actors portrayal of whatever it is they are acting is true. This can be used to make the audience believe exaggerated stereotypes of people in the real world. But the ritual or practice of a real life situation or scenario maybe be less interesting and stagnant. It is the key roles of the persons job that makes them interesting and gives them character. Sometimes these scenarios can be converted into games for people to play, consider role playing. In order to mock or have fun as a character you must change or mimic the behavior and action to that of which you are trying to copy. Games like dungeons and dragons can force people to collaborate with others. You are enabled to act in a certain way to which you wouldn't act in real life. For instance you could lie to a friend in a game to throw him off or in some way benefit towards a goal, but you wouldn't you lie with purpose to a friend for real. I think its is great to betray or lie to other players but sparingly. I love it for its tactile use and ability to read what other players are thinking and feeling. In a way I think it helps me comprehend scenarios and the actions of people better so I may be able to help a situation or evaluate decision making prior to acting on what ever is at hand.    

Figure (3): The Try Guys Try Dungeons and Dragons. Entertaining to watch them visualize what they playing as.

I was unfortunately unable to join this class on Friday due to work commitments. I can not add value or documentation of any practical work from the class but can only reflect on what I had learnt from the readings given to me by my lecturer. One of the key things that I learnt about the magic circle is that you can learn a lot through player interaction. This may include the way people can change their behavior and develop relationships with one another.

(1) = Table Talk 37 - The Magic Circle, at 1.05/11:16

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pd1_C3K8TK4

(2), (3) = TEDxDartmouth -Mary Flanagan:Critical Play-4/17/10, at 1:22/17:29 and 8.15/17:29

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZ8R9iiGk9g

Pin Up 01: The act of [architecture]

Set up Camera «Out of character», staring, until it’s quiet

Mhmm… so we start…?

DARIA:

Getting into Character, looking into camera, moderating, selling, but serious, standing

Reflecting on architecture is a crucial part of what we do, especially during this time, where the pressure of capital is consuming the open spaces and under-used buildings that have typically provided the slack for the experimental and provisional uses.1

The intention is that the desire to experiment and speculate does not fizzle out, but ultimately benefits the discipline. This love of discipline, which some people envy us for, and others suspect us for, is what we call the autonomy of architecture.2

We must encourage the conditions of openness, mutability and inclusion to make the sustainable and democratic city of today.1

For that it’s important to engage with the masterpieces of our time that shape the world we live in and to show you the worth these types of buildings provide.3

Pause to play Video of Toni-Areal by EM2N (an 8 min video, irregular zooming in)

ANINA:

Uh… briefly losing the thread, then determined, fascinated

So yes, our Project evolved around the question of worth.

We realized, each of the designs that are created for a house, a city or a landscape also contains in itself the design for another world.2

The task was definitely not an easy one (smirk) but we know they call themselves very lucky to now have this to represent themselves internationally.

LEO:

“The building as city, the city as building.”5

So, to say… We find ourselves in a cultural "energy node".6

proving a point. 

It truly makes a substantial contribution to the unique quality of life in

this city."7 Particularly there, it acts like a vitamin drink."8

selling, story-telling, fascinated

"A typical, well-designed conventionality dominates". "This is a completely introverted building, almost hermetically sealed from the outside"9, a flagship of Swiss architecture and the Swiss creative industries.7 Students are talented and willing to deliver.11

ANINA:

moving, maybe standing up, hands moving:

A monument like this, uh… It’s secured by public funds, so that the rent can be paid to a general contractor.12

Casual, smiling, maternal, directly addressing the viewers

Just saying this to give you a general idea that it’s about money also13 – creating value with real-estate.

Better than the cuddly surroundings, …the rough environment is good, it creates more resistance, the people have to be much, ... much more active with the environment.15

LEO:

Telling a story, walking back and forth

"There are doors with badge, doors with lock, and rooms that have a door with badge and a door with lock. There are doors that can be opened in one direction with a handle and in the other direction only with a badge. There are doors that are allowed to be open, doors that are not allowed to be open, doors that are not allowed to be open, but are always open..."16

DARIA:

Feeling responsible, expressing knowledge

That, really is the responsibility of architecture… and I have to remind you... it’s my responsibility to remind you that the responsibility, of architecture, of architects, is to create environments that are distinctive to its habitants, to solve things. You cannot be part of everything, we all know it’s better not to... to know everything, you know.17 They were already asked to solve the wrong problems for sure.13

ANINA:

Out of nowhere, pointing somewhere randomly, bestimmend

They have proven that they know how to find plausible solutions for complex conversions.19 Architects always proofed to be something (thinking)– able to build these monuments that last decades, centuries, thousands of years even… just think of the Greek temple, god-like almost.20

LEO:

Looking towards the frame of the video, standing up, full of pleasure

… Look! What a space! …spatially it’s an impressive space. Structure, concept, context, light and contrast, lust, elegant elegance, vibrating, open,… proportion.18 

Very judging, distinction between architects and ordinary people, questioning, looking down

… that is... how I interpret it. Many might not understand… but I assume you can understand my point…?24

DARIA: 

Next person standing up

Well…, uh… This leads to the conclusion, which is what our project makes clear, that perception always revolves around an object of knowledge.

Pointing with fingers

One seeks to find out the state of "being", the “is” of an object. 

However, unavoidable is the process of reflecting on a thing and thus placing the objectin a fictional context. In the imagination, the ”is” becomes an "ought" to be, the “Sein-Sollen”

Instructive, knowing

According to this logic, under no circumstances are we able to make statements about the "is" state of an object. Because the "ought" to be differs from individual to individual.25 As Pierre Huyghe says: "An objective organism is formed from many subjective opinions". And yes, it’s not a problem that we mention Pierre Huyghe.27

LEO:

It is a fiction…28 (thinking, contemplating, agreeing, recognizing) … yes, an Institution.

moderating

„institutions are forces to control and dominate space“.29

Convinced, looking into the camera, into the faces, going back and forth

We enter institutions, we invest in them we internalize their values, their discourses, their ways of being, their modes of perception and classification. flowy talking And then we embody them, … then we perform them in our lives and in our roles within institutions and our relationships with institutions… (look up, stand still) that’s the social process. I am an… I am here. I am the same as you, you are the same as them.

ANINA:

Now, what’s that supposed to mean? Pause well…

Pointing down distinctively with both hands, up on toes, very emphasizing, enumerating (Handbewegung) 

What we see here is, …that fundamentally what’s productive, is a space of ongoing investigation, critic, reflexive analysis pause critic is a verb above all.30 Kopf runter This is an enactment Kopf hoch of a highly conflicted, ambivalent, love-hate relationship to this and its institutions.31

DARIA:

convinced

We have the firm believe it’s much more productive to not say “okay now we are doing the right thing”, … but to say “No, this is how we are not doing the right thing”, “this is how we are participating in the reproduction of relationships of domination.”30

ANINA: 

schneller, hand gestures that shape a globe, pointing left, right, centre,

It is a structurally conflictual social space. The field is radically divided between two extreme poles.

Warning, but suggesting we are a team

The space in-between where those two poles mix is where most of us are and it’s an uncomfortable place to be.30

LEO: 

Short break, looking into the faces, looking into the camera

So… Recognizing. Okay... Lets’s say... (thinking, just came into mind, knowing the answer)

ANINA:

Quickly, runterlesen

“A field is a Field of forces within which the Agents occupy positions that statistically determine the POSITIONS they will take with respect to the fields, these POSITIONTAKINGS being aimed either at CONSERVING or TRANSFORMING the STRUCTURE OF RELATIONS OF FORCES that is constitutive of the field.” at least that’s how Pierre Bourdieu explained it.32

LEO:

explaining, slower, knowing more than the listener

Let me break this down for you guys: This tells us that reality is a social concept: to exist, is to exist socially in relation to others. What is real, is relational. Power relations between and within fields structure human behavior. (looking in faces) 

There are agents… you could say the players within a structure – fast, mumbling, quiet, unimportant, obvious, propulsive hand gesture  …me, us, you, and so forth.

loud, clear, getting up, walking back and forth

All agents occupy a position within a field and either try to conserve or transform the rules of their social field. Within this discourse people make use of their power or capital to impose the rules to the field hat favor them the most.

Small pause

DARIA:

We as agents in relations with all other actors, carry a responsibility to fulfill a task, promising the best solutions, compromising, maybe our own beliefs, trying to be true, projecting our “ought” to be out into world, we as a builders must know the “is”, do we belief what we say, we assume, we hope, we hope not to be selling a fiction, their ought to be. How can we do what we do and say what we do?33

… concluding we can say that not everybody can distinguish this and that, here and there, yourself and them, maybe it is even stronger to limit yourself. Maybe.34

Smiling, concluding,

We now understand a field. Our answer are questions.

Well, that’s that.

looking into faces

We thank everyone that’s feeding our knowledge.35

Thank you – and you will thank us.

looking into camera to finish

Thanks.36

Noragami: A Crash Course in Shintoism

This post is an adaptation of my panel "Noragami: A Crash Course in Shintoism" which covers the aspects of Shinto seen in the anime Noragami. (It’s a very long post.) (Also Tumblr’s formatting is a little weird so if you want a prettier version click here to read on Wordpress instead.)

This post is only going to be covering Noragami's anime adaptations. I won't be covering the manga or discussing major spoilers (like Yato's identity). I don't think reading this will ruin the series for anyone who hasn't seen it but just to be safe...

Spoiler Warning for Noragami, Noragami Aragoto and various Japanese myths!

What is Shinto?

A basic rundown.

Shinto is Japan's native religion. It's the amalgamation of local folk religions that eventually came to share uniform practices over time. Archaeological evidence of Shinto dates back as far as 300 B.C.E. The religion has no known founder and no single text as it's basis. This means there is no equivalent to Jesus or the Bible in Shinto.

However, there are texts about Shinto that are used as references to Shinto's mythology and practices. The oldest surviving being the Kojiki from 712 C.E. and the Nihon Shoki from 720 C.E. These texts are not scriptures, but record books about history and important people of the time. They recount myths (as history) and describe Shinto practices.

One reason Shinto is a particularly unique religion is because it has remained contained within Japan. Many neighboring religions have traveled to Japan and influenced Shinto including Confucianism, Taoism, Hinduism and most notably, Buddhism. In fact many Shinto gods are borrowed from Buddhism. Yet, Shinto has never really spread outside of Japan.

Almost everyone in Japan takes part in Shinto rituals. Even if a person is not religious they likely still visit shrines (in particular on New Year's) and take part in Shinto festivals. (Almost everyone in Japan also takes part in Buddhist rituals but due to the scope of this post I won't be covering Buddhism.)

So Shinto is easier to think of as a set of nationwide traditions rather than a religion in the western sense, as it lacks monotheistic worship as well as a system of specific morals.

It's also important to note State Shinto. From the Meiji Era to WWII, Shinto became Japan's official religion and at this time many practices, such as how to pray at shrines, became standardized across the country. State Shinto was used to rally nationalism and even after its fall, Shinto is still somewhat associated with Japan's right wing politics.

Kami (Gods/Spirits)

A very important part of Shinto is kami. According to the Kojiki a kami is "any being whatsoever that possesses some eminent quality out of the ordinary and is awe-inspiring".

Kami are gods or spirits that usually rule over local geographic formations (like mountains or rivers). They can also take the form of ancestral ghosts. But effectively anything can have a kami. The chair I'm sitting in can have a kami. The computer I'm typing on can have a kami. The anime conventions I've presented this at can have their own kami. And so kami can add up after a while and this is why the Shinto gods collectively are refereed to as "Yaoyorozu no Kami" or the eight million gods, which is meant to imply that are an infinite amount of gods.

And with so many gods it is no wonder that some are forgotten. This is what brings us to the premise of Noragami, which means stray god.

But despite Shinto having so many gods, it does have a primary mythology and primary gods.

Shinto Gods and their myths

Izanagi and Izanami

Izanagi (male) and Izanami (female) were given a jeweled spear with which they stirred the ocean with. When the spear was pulled out of the water and the drops off the tip splashed in the water, the main island of Japan was created. The two then went to the island, got married and had lots of children. Izanami would give birth to many gods as well as the other islands of Japan.

This is essentially Japan's creation myth. This myth was taught as history until WWII.

The myth continues on to describe Izanami eventually giving birth to the fire god, Kagutsuchi. She suffered horrible burns during childbirth and died from the injuries. She then went to reside in a place called Yomi. Yomi is underground, it's dark and lots of monsters live there. Izanagi misses his wife and decides to get her back from Yomi. He goes and finds her in the dark depths but she says she can't leave because she's already eaten the food of Yomi. (Those are the rules, if you eat the food then you can't leave.) Izanami says she'll talk to who's in charge and see if she can work something out, but on the one condition that Izanagi will not look at her. So what does Izanagi do? He lights a fire, and looks to see that his wife is a rotting corpse. And so he high tails it out of there. Izanami gives chase after him, but he beats her to the entrance of Yomi and seals it with a giant boulder. Furious, Izanami proclaims from behind the boulder that because of Izanagi's actions she will kill 1,000 people a day. Izanagi retorts that he will have 1,500 people born a day.

This myth is meant to explain the cycle of life and death, but it also establishes that Kami are not perfect, glorious, ethereal beings. They are instead very human-like. They have emotions and react to things the way humans do. They can also be injured and even die.

Yomi, or at least its entrance is a real place in Japan that you can visit a see the boulder that Izanagi supposedly placed.

In Noragami, the characters visit Yomi and the real life location was used as reference for the version in the anime.

The characters also get to meet Izanami while in Yomi. She is very lonely and wants her guests to eat the food she offers them so that they will be stuck down there the way she is.

She also commands an army of shikome (hags of the underworld). In some versions of the myth she sent shikome to chase after Izanagi (but he still outran them).

Noragami's Izanami also has long black hair that moves around and tries to grab things. This is not an ability associated with Izanami herself, but supernatural hair is closely affiliated with female ghosts in Japan. So Izanami's hair has special abilities, effectively because she is a dead woman.

Amateratsu and the Cave

After leaving Yomi, Izanagi had to cleanse himself. During his ablution, when he cleansed his left eye, Amateratsu the sun goddess was born. When he cleansed his right, Tsukiyomi the moon god was born. And when he cleansed his nose, Susanoo the storm god was born.

Amateratsu and Susanoo had an intense sibling rivalry. And when Susanoo would throw fits, being a storm god, things would get messy. So after Susanoo had finished throwing one of his fits and messed up a bunch of Amateratsu's stuff, she had had it. She decided to go into a cave, take the sun with her and that she wasn't coming back out, thus leaving the world in darkness. The other gods realized that having a world with no sun wasn't great, so they devised a plan to lure Amateratsu out of the cave. They threw a loud party and made it sound like they were having a lot of fun. Amateratsu heard the noise and got curious. When she peaked out of the cave to see what all the commotion was about, a mirror was placed in front of her face. Amateratsu, being a beautiful sun goddess, was entranced by her own beauty and was lured out of the cave using her own reflection. The other gods then sealed the cave so she couldn't go back in and thus ensuring sunlight to the world.

Amateratsu would go on to become the highest ranking deity in Shinto. Her shrines are some of the largest and best maintained in Japan. And when she says someone is going to be emperor, that person becomes emperor. She was believed to be the ultimate ancestress of the Imperial line until Emperor Hirohito renounced his divinity in 1946.

Amateratsu herself is not portrayed in Noragami, but the place she resides is. Takamagahara, is the realm of the gods. It is up in the sky and is connected to earth by a bridge (which some interpret to be a rainbow). Takamagahara is where the gods live and gather for meetings.

In the anime, Takamagahara is the location of Bishomon's giant estate as well as Yato's tiny piece of land.

Takamagahara is usually portrayed as a place with golden clouds and traditional Japanese architecture. Noragami's version carries on these motifs in its own capacity.

The Three Talismans of Sovereignty

After Amateratsu choose the first emperor of Japan, he was given three talismans by the gods in order to prove his sovereignty over the land: the sacred mirror used to lure Amateratsu out of the cave, a magic sword Susanoo found after slaying a giant serpent, and a fertility jewel called magatama that Susanoo used in a baby making contest against Amateratsu. (Remember, it was an intense sibling rivalry.)

The real life items are referred to as the Imperial Regalia.

Above is not a picture of the Imperial Regalia. Above is an artist's rendition of what they might look like. There are no photos of these items. There are no drawings of these items. The only people allowed to see them are the emperor and his top ranked Shinto priests. So many artists have created their own version of what they think they look like. The most popular hands down being the version from Sailor Moon.

But as for Noragami, regalia are the dead souls of humans that have the ability to turn into a tool (usually a weapon) for a God’s use. The word for regalia in the Japanese version of the anime is "shinki" which is a word that can mean treasure, a newly crafted item, or it can be used to refer to the Imperial Regalia. So regalia in Noragami is basically a pun off the idea of items that are important to the gods but also give dead souls a newly crafted life.

Many of the Shinto gods wield regalia in Noragami.

Ebisu

Ebisu is one of the Seven Gods of Fortune. He is the only one derived from Japanese mythology. The rest are derived from Buddhism and Hinduism.

Originally named Hiruko, he was first child of Izanami and Izanagi but was born without bones so he was cast away. He grew his bones back (as one does) and became the kami of fishermen and merchants and was renamed Ebisu. Noragami's version of Ebisu doesn't share many visual traits with traditional portrayals, but his personality matches. He is clumsy, honest and difficult to anger. His regalia are his coat and gloves and they help him with his mobility because of the whole not having bones thing.

Bishamonten

Bishamonten (or in Noragami, Bishamon for short) is another one of the Seven Gods of Fortune. He is the kami of warriors and is derived from Vaisravana, one of Buddhism's Four Heavenly Kings. The biggest change Noragami made to its version is that Bishamon is a woman. In traditional versions Bishamonten is a man.

But the two are still similar in personality. Bishamon is a fierce fighter in addition to being dignified and holding herself to the high standard of always triumphing over evil (to the point of it causes problems when she decides that Yato is evil). And much like the traditional version of Bishamonten who has a hoard of treasures from his various adventures, Bishamon also has a huge supply of regalia to use at her will.

I'm not entirely sure why she's dress like a sexy cop. But if you look at the picture above you may notice Bishamonten is stepping on his enemies. I think the creator took that idea of stepping on people and just ran with it when they were designing Noragami's version.

The Seven Gods of Fortune

Besides Ebisu and Bishamonten, the other Gods of Fortune only make small cameos in Noragami's anime.

(from left to right)

Daikokuten – god of commerce

Ebisu – god of fishing and merchants

Benten – goddess of music and art

Bishamonten – god of warriors

Fukurokuju – god of wisdom and wealth

Hotei –  god of health and happiness (Known in the west as the “Laughing Buddha”.)

Jurojin – god of longevity

Noragami's version of Daikokuten kind of looks like your shady uncle who's running a festival booth.

I'm not sure why. Maybe because those booths are associated with making money? But more notably he's seen holding a rabbit. This is because Daikokuten is also known as Okuninushi. There's a myth about Okuninushi helping a rabbit and in exchange the rabbit gave him some good fortune. So Noragami's version of Daikokuten really likes rabbits.

As for the rest of the gang, they look pretty similar to their traditional portrayals. (Benten has a treble clef tattoo, Hotei has hair but that's about it.) Except for Fukurokuju, who is dressed in a fancy suit since he's a god of wealth. But do not be fooled by his big fancy top hat. It is not there to show off how wealthy he is. It's there to cover up his giant forehead. His giant forehead is so giant that it is how you recognize him in traditional artwork.

So there you have the Seven Gods of Fortune. And as the story goes they all get together around New Year's time in a big flying boat and hand out presents to all the good little children.

I have no idea how this works because kids in Japan don't get presents for New Year's, they get cold hard cash from their family but that's the story. Whatever, floats your flying boat I guess?

Binbougami

Next up is Kofuku. She is not a specific mythological figure. She is a binbougami, (an unspecific) god of poverty. Binbougami are not worshiped. They posses people and houses and bring bad luck. They are traditionally depicted as a dirty old man with nothing to his name except an old hand fan. This is why Kofuku's regalia is a fan.

In Noragami, Kofuku goes by the name Kofuku (little fortune) Ebisu (the same as the previously mentioned god of fortune) so that people might mistake her for a god of fortune instead of misfortune and won't try to run her off.

Tenjin

Tejin's traditional depiction and Noragami's look very similar because Tenjin was an actual historical figure. He was named Sugawara no Michizane (845-903 C.E.). He was scholar, poet and politician. After he fell victim to some dirty politics he was fired, exiled and then died in exiled. Soon after his death a huge storm devastated the capital, destroying the homes of and even killing some of his political rivals. In order to placate his spirit the Imperial court restored the offices of his family, burned his order of exile and deified him. His name was changed to Tenjin and now he is the kami of learning. He is one of the most popular gods in Japan. Students frequent his shrines in order to pray for good grades. In Noragami, he's very wise but isn't the least bit humble about his importance and popularity.

Tenjin's Flying Plum Tree

When Michizane was exiled he composed a poem about how much he would miss a beloved plum tree growing at his home in Kyoto. Legend says that the tree also missed its master, so much that it uprooted itself and flew to be with Michizane again. And of course, you can go and visit the tree designated as the Flying Plum Tree.

In Noragami, the character Tsuyu might dress as a miko and stand among Tenjin's regalia but she's actually the spirit of said plum tree and has her own powers different from that of a regalia. She has a mark in the shape of plum blossom in the middle of her forehead to designate her from the rest of Tenjin's company.

Death and the Afterlife

So Tenjin got off pretty awesome in the afterlife. But what happens to everyone else according to Shinto? Descriptions of the afterlife are very vague if even present in texts about the religion.  In Shinto, since anything awe-inspiring can be considered a kami, when you die, your soul is effectively a kami and the thing you are the kami of is your descendants. Shinto has ancestor worship. Many homes in Japan have a kamidana, which is a small shrine on a high self near the ceiling.

A kamidana is a shrine to the kami of your home and your ancestors and small offerings are placed on it.

Shinto also has funeral rites, however, they weren't properly documented until the 1800s and considering how long Shinto's been around for it goes to show how little emphasis the religion places on death.

Something common to most Japanese funerals is that the dead are dressed in a white robe with the right side over the left. To wear traditional Japanese clothing (like a kimono or yukata) you should always have the left side over the right, because right over left is reserved for the dead. From this we know that characters in Noragami like Yukine and Nora are dead as soon as they appear on screen because of how they are dressed.

Nora also has a triangle shaped headband. No one is actually sure what this is for. There are theories that it was placed on the dead to ward off evil spirits but all we really know is that they were popular in the Heian period and in particular showed up in a lot of art of ghosts from that time. So Nora's character design not only tells us that she's dead but also that she's probably been dead for a very long time.

Tokoyo

"Tokoyo" literally means eternalness. It's the name of a distant land across the sea where the dead reside. The English version of Noragami refers to it as "The Far Shore". This is where corrupted souls dwell and become phantoms.

Masks and Phantoms

In addition to a plethora of gods, Noragami also features supernatural beings called phantoms. In the Japanese version phantoms are called "ayakashi" which is a word with three different meanings. Ayakashi refers to a type of ghostly monster (yokai). It can also be used to refer to any kind of supernatural phenomena related to the sea. And it is also a type of mask from Noh, a traditional type of Japanese theater where actors wear masks while performing. An ayakashi is specifically the mask used to represent a male ghost or wrathful god. Masks in general are frequently used in Shinto rituals and celebrations. So the concept of ayakashi in Noragami is playing with all these ideas. Phantoms in Noragami are wrathful spirits from the far shore (so they're related to the sea) and they can be controlled by masks.

Rituals and Practices

Shrines

Shrines are where you can go to pray for good luck and ask for wishes to be granted.

But before you can go up to a shrine you will first have to pass through a torii.

Torii are arches meant to be sacred gateways into the terrain of kami. They come in many shapes and sizes. Some are big and bright red, others are small and natural colored. Yato, of course wants a great big one.

Sometimes you will see white zigzag shaped pieces of paper hanging off a torii.

These are called shide, and they are meant to mark the presence of a kami.

So once you've passed through the torii, you still cannot yet approach the shrine. Before you can approach a shrine you must first cleanse yourself. Every shrine has some sort of fountain or tough with wooden ladles that you are suppose to use to wash your hands and mouth.

Cleansing with water is a common step in many Shinto rituals. In Noragami, we see Yato cleanse his blight with water from a shrine.

Once you are cleansed you can finally approach the shrine. But before praying at the shrine, its suitable to give an offering. Kami are thought to be responsible for the forces of nature and fate of people, so they’re placated with offerings and bribed to grant wishes. Offerings are usually food, alcohol or money. The traditional offering is a 5 yen coin. 5 yen is about 5 cents. It's a very small amount of money. But 5 yen in Japanese, "go yen" is a homophone of the word for fate "go en". So when you offer a kami a 5 yen coin, it means you are trusting them with your fate. This is why receiving 5 yen coins makes Yato so happy.

It symbolizes that people are willing to trust him with their fate so what Yato's actually happy about is not receiving the coin, but receiving the respect it represents.

So after you have thrown your offering into the offering box, it's time to pray.

There's usually a bell with a rope hanging by the offering box. First you ring it to get the kami's attention. Then you bow twice, clap twice, pray and then bow again. This procedure of prayer was standardized during State Shinto but it can still vary depending on local customs.

It's important to note that shrines are not just big buildings. For instance the kamidana as described earlier. There is also the mikoshi, which is a portable shrine used during festivals.

Shrines can come in many shapes and sizes.

There are also many things you might see at a shrine. You would probably see a shimenawa, which is a rope used to enclose sacred spaces and protect them. These are usually wrapped around trees. In Noragami, there is a shimenawa wrapped around Robos's tree.

When visiting a shrine you could also see miko, shrine maidens.

Miko help to keep the shrine clean, help out with odd jobs and help perform certain rituals like the kagura dance.

But Miko are not actually in charge of the shrine. The Kannushi, Shinto priests, are the ones running the shrine and leading the rituals.

They very rarely show up in anime, presumably because they are not cute girls.

Lucky Charms, Talismans, and Fortunes

Before leaving a shrine you might want to buy a omamori, lucky charm. An omamori is a small pouch you purchase from the shrine and keep with you for good luck. Many omamori are specialized for things like work, health or love.

Another way to boost the chances of your wishes coming true is to write them on an ema, talisman. An ema is a wooden block that you hang at the shrine so the kami will hopefully see your wish and grant it. You can basically write or draw whatever you want.

There are also shrines that can provide you with official anime ema.

You can also get a fortune, especially if it's New Year's. If you pull a bad fortune you can tie it to a tree or wire fence so that you don't take the bad luck with you.

More Shinto in Anime and Japanese Media

My recommendations for if you want to see more things that have a focus on Shintoism:

My Neighbor Totoro

Kamisama Kiss

Persona 4 (The game! Not the anime.)

Inari Kon Kon

Matoi the Sacred Slayer

Further Readings

Shinto by C. Scott Littleton (book)

Saninstory.wordpress.com (shinto myths as comics)

Thanks for reading!

'Creative Conscience: Peoples’ - Reviewing The Brief

Unit 12 - Engaging with an audience in art and design.

The aims of the brief is to promote and improve the communities we live and work in, helping to transform the wider world. This brief enables me to create a campaign/explore one that deals with/discusses a specific issue but also celebrates people and their achievements. What’s nice about this project is that I will get to look at people that go out of their way daily to help others and make a positive impact in peoples lives, but do not get identified or credit for their hard work. These are just ordinary people mostly volunteering in their own time.

What is ‘Creative Conscience’?

‘Creative Conscience’s aim is to inspire creatives to apply their talents to socially valuable projects, promoting sustainability, freedom, social health and well-being.’

Creative Conscience is a global movement ‘that aims to improve the communities we live and work in, helping to transform the wider world.’ They set up a competition for people to create and present an idea that promotes a ‘socially valuable, human centred design that enables and inspires people to change their lives and the lives of those around them for the better.’

This organisation has encouraged so many people to spend some time coming up with ideas that can in some way help a community of people in a positive manner. It’s brought people together and created new ways of celebrating circumstances that may be hidden away if we didn’t try and expose the positivity in it.

For this project, it is important that I try to think of a variety of ideas before deciding my final idea. I must also be able to identify who the target audience is and what i’m trying to communicate.

Conscience definition: a person's moral sense of right and wrong, viewed as acting as a guide to one's behavior.

Conscience is the voice in our head that tell us whether something is right or wrong / good or bad. It is important that my idea is going to appeal to everyone as an audience (objective). My opinions will need to be shared with others, therefore ideally I will pick an audience I can relate to.

It is important that I elaborate positivity rather than negativity as this competition ‘looks to celebrate people and their achievements and struggles.’ So we are looking at the resolution to the problem rather than the problem itself.

It is important to identify my audience. In graphic design and art, its not about what is on the page, but the meaning and context behind it for the audience. The was a piece is understood is what will make it successful or not successful. Therefore human-centred design is usually the most successful work due to the designs having clear connections allowing them to relate which make it easier to understand or more appealing.  

For this project, I must create something that attracts everyone, and that everyone agrees on. For example, mostly everyone agrees with charities and helping the less fortunate, so it might be a good idea that I base my piece around helping someone less fortunate. Another way to also go is by promoting something or someone that everyone likes. For example Mo Farah is a staple for British sport and has done wonders for our country, so it might be a good idea to base my project on recognizing his or someone else's achievements.  Promoting ordinary, everyday people who have had a positive influence on their community allowing the audience to relate not only to the work but to the people featured. To some extent, this could result in them wanting to join and make a difference themselves.

Along with this, I could base my project on something that we have a human race have as a problem, therefore everyone would agree that it is a good idea and i’ll have a huge target audience.

Audience definition:

The audience is the people who are going to be viewing a piece of work, the design is usually designed for a specific audience known as the ‘target audience’.

Gender

Age

Interests

Culture

The whole reason we create art is for an audience to view it, so it is important that I consider a target audience by doing extensive research so that I am able to attract this audience.

The audience want a piece that they can relate to, that shows I have researched the topic and shows that I know what i am talking about. Along with this, my piece should also teach the audience about the topic.

How can I research?

Interviews, Surveys, Focus groups, Social Media, Books etc...

‘Firstly you must identify something or someone that you believe contributes to changing the world for the better.’ This could be anyone from the emergency services (Police, NHS, Ambulance, Coast Guards etc), school teachers, charities (For the homeless, poorer countries, illnesses), social services. Along with these, it could be something more personal to you like a family member who has had a strong influence on your life. 

‘You could start by looking at your local community; a charity, a fireman, a family member or just an exemplary group of the people, and then consider ways to show their actions, to display their narrative or story.’ 

Community Definition: 

Traditional meaning: a group of people living in the same place or having a particular characteristic in common.

Modern Definition: the condition of sharing or having certain attitudes and interests in common.

It could be a good idea to look at people in my area or people that personally inspire me as it could allow my work to come across more meaningful and personal.

‘Your job is to propose and plan a way to celebrate their lives or draw attention to the positive impact they are having on our immediate society or local culture’. So it is very important to show the positive impact of the person/thing that you are promoting. It is important to plan your ideas so that they can be effective and clean.

‘This could be an advertising campaign, a photographic documentary, an animation, a digital set of information graphics, a magazine or a sequence of editorial illustrations.’ These are suggestions of techniques and processes I could use to create my final piece. It does not have to be one of these but these are just ideas. I personally haven't gone deep into animation so this could be an interesting process for me to try. I would also ideally like to base my project on architecture, however this could be hard in this project so I am going to keep my ideas open.

‘Your work may be conceptual, thought provoking, questioning, and inquisitive OR have the potential to develop into real life-changing solutions.’ 

‘Some ideas to get you started could include creative exposure for people who support humanitarian aid, education, water shortage, energy efficiency, inclusivity, bullying, inequality, poverty, homelessness, child abuse, over-consumption, mental illness and urban living.’ While we could choose to base our project on someone who's achievements we want to promote, we could also pick a theme like one of the above and propose an idea that could help solve/tackle that problem.

‘Your project should fit into at least one of the six impact themes:

Community Education & Learning Environment & Sustainability, Equality & Justice Health, Wellbeing & Disability, War & Crisis’

As you can see, we have been given a set of themes to base our project on. Personally, I would like to base my project on the theme of architecture. So looking at these themes, ‘Environment & Sustainability’ could be an interesting theme. For example I could create a building that works with nature instead of destroying it.

I could also base my project on one specific person, and promote their positive achievements. The type of people I could aim creating a positive projects about:

Police force,

Fire service,

Ambulance,

NHS,

Army,

Coast guard,

Armed forces,

Teachers,

YMCA,

Social services,

Charities,

Child line.

It is my primary goals to do this to my audience:

EDUCATE & ENHANCE:  To a extent my work should tell some level of academic knowledge and aim to improve the knowledge of my audience.

INITIATE & ACTIVATE:  My work should trigger a response or reaction. If it doesn’t it’s not successful and will be something people overlook.

IMPACT & PROVOKE: My work should immediately generate a strong effect on the audience, whether this is making them feel a certain way, make them question something or result in them taking action.

UNITE & CONNECT: My work should aim to bring people together for a purpose, fuse a discussion that people can relate to.

As graphic designers, these 4 goals are very vital to ensure our audience can learn, relate and connect with our work. If the audience can relate and connect it makes it more interesting and eye-catching making our outcome more successful.

Task 1: Context and Research

Research the creative Conscience’ website and competition details, looking at and examining previous competition winners and examples. Identify what makes previous examples interesting and exciting as well showing a broader knowledge of the themes and topics you have been asked to look at.

Explore other examples of work that relate to themes, these could be existing campaigns that raise awareness. E.g. Childline, Lloyds TSB. Consider the images you are looking at in your research and question not only the choice of composition and visual language but what is communicated and how an audience may understand this.

Create a series of analytical mind maps with a mood board of images/artworks that perhaps tackle difficult issues and social discussions, or look to celebrate people from all walks of life.

Gather primary research, research my local community and social network. Find a story or situation that promotes hope, solidarity and positive values and beliefs.

The final part of task 1 and as part of your submission for this assignment you are expected to write a considered and individual proposal (350 words) stating the following:

The focus of your studies (what do you intend to do)

Your target audience

The reason for this focus

The materials/process/ specialist area you intend to use and why

How you will go about making/realising your idea.

Task 2: Interpretation and Experimentation

As part of this assignment, you will complete a series of mixed rotational workshops inspired by specific contexts and techniques. It is important to evidence any practical workshop that supports independent experimentation and development of ideas. During this time critically reflect after each workshop session to show how you are personally developing, in terms of technical skills but also the quality of the work you are producing

Task 3: Development and Refinement

Through a proposal, you should have now established what you are to create and your workshops will allow you to see the potential of a broad range of processes. The challenge is now to develop and refine ideas. The aim is to produce an outcome and then look at presenting that outcome. As part of your final submission, you will present your work in a 5-10 slide presentation. This presentation will then be recorded to support your competition submission.

Task 4: Reflection and Evaluation

Keep up to date with reflections and notes within your sketchbook/file and blog. This could be scanning over your workshops outcomes and discussing the effects, the limits and the potentials of your experiments in regards to your target audience/subjects this must be done at least 3 times during the project.

You must also write a 1000 word evaluation of the entire project. This account should detail your strengths, weaknesses, the potential of your designs and points of development and progression. Consider what you will do now and whether you are now more ready for your next project.

Requirements:

-A sketchbook/Production file containing a rigorous and experimental investigation of ideas and concepts through the use of appropriate materials and methods.

- A 350-word statement of idea proposal.

- 5-10 Slide presentation recorded for assessment purposes.

- Contextual and theoretical research in support of your creative development –this should be integrated into your sketchbook/blog.

- A consistent approach to evaluating progress evidenced on your blog – what have you learnt, how have you progressed? How can you make improvements…?

- Evidence of crits and discussion with tutors and peers.

- A minimum of 3 portfolio boards that display refinement of ideas and outcomes.

- Final outcomes.

Deadline:

Submission date - Thursday 14th February

Home Security and You

Home Security and You Non-profit and free for redistribution Written on November 3rd | 2015 Published on November 4th | 2015 For entertainment and research purposes only

=============================================== DISCLAIMER: The Paranoid's Bible and its writers hold no responsibility for the acts of others. The Paranoid’s Bible is for research and entertainment purposes only. Please visit our blog for more PDFs and information: https://www.paranoidsbible.tumblr.com/ =============================================== Contents DISCLAIMER:    2 PREFACE    4 Home Security and You    5 Assess the situation    6 The Criminal Element    7 How a Mark is Chosen    8 Securing points of entry    10 Your Property, Your Rights    15 Your Home, Your Rules    17 Afterword    19 =============================================== PREFACE The who: People that have decided to combine their resources to create a repository of information. The what: Home security and loss prevention. The where: Your property. The why: To give people the knowledge to keep themselves and their property safe. =============================================== Home Security and You Home security isn’t just about locking your doors and advertising that you may have an alarm system. No. It’s far more than that, however locking your doors and advertising an alarm system is a good start. The thing is that criminal behavior isn’t exactly as you see it on TV or the movies, nor is it quite dead considering the lower and lower crime rates around the West, especially the US. Nowadays with neighborhood associations and the ever looming potential for a ‘Shit Hit The Fan’ (SHTF) scenario, you need to take not only the state and city laws into consideration but also the fascist-like behavior of a neighborhood association and strike a balance amongst privacy, security and aesthetic appeal. Aesthetics may be the latest societal contagion amongst millennials (due to the belief that looks somehow equates betterment or performance) but it does serve its purpose with making it look like you’re not worth robbing or murdering for some baubles and knick-knacks. The entire purpose of this testament is to help you not only secure your home and maintain privacy, but also strike a balance between overall curb appeal and home security. You may not think curb appeal matters, but if you ever need to sell your home or stay within your current abode for a prolonged period of time… it pays to have something nice looking to wait out the SHTF situation or simply having to live amongst those you dislike. =============================================== Assess the situation Before you can even begin to think about how to secure your home you’ll need to ask yourself a series of questions to better understand not only your needs but also what requirements your city, state, country and possibly even the home or neighbor association wants met. The Questions: • What is the demographic in my area? • Are the people lower, middle or higher income? • What permits must I get? • Am I allowed to defend myself and\or my property when threatened? • What are the gun laws in my area? • Are certain breeds of dogs prohibited? • Is there an association that controls certain aspects of the area I live in? • Do I know anyone who does drugs? • Do I know anyone that has ever committed a crime? • Do I know someone whose friends or relatives to someone who has done drugs or committed a crime? • Am I a friend or relative to someone who has done drugs or committed a crime? The reason we ask you to ask yourself these questions is due to the simple fact that not everything you can do would be considered legal or at least within reason. Some associations or laws will limit your use of force or how high one can build a fence or even if one can own a specific breed of dog or not. Some people, depending on the current situation with race relations and/or the political playing field, may not take too kindly to you fixing up and improving your home. Some may simply dislike the fact that you’re a new face in the area and distrust you. Certain areas and classes tend to be safer than others, while simply being in a suburb may put you on the list of houses to get robbed. Even having partaken in drugs, a crime, or knowing someone who has done so can increase your risk at being robbed, or worse. No matter what, you need to know your laws, know your rights, and know what specifically you can do to your property in order to protect yourself. =============================================== The Criminal Element Most of your ‘Professional’ criminals strike during the day and not at night. The criminal element that operates at night usually consist of amateurs, gangs, drug addicts, people looking for thrills, or minors—your true blue criminal who knows a thing or two will strike during the day, usually around 9AM when people are at work or school. Real professionals don’t want to hurt you, your family or your animals, and they’re usually more afraid of you then you are of them. These true criminals will spend weeks to months scouting out an area. They’ll operate in middle class to upper class areas. They’ll look the part of a sale representative or someone simply visiting. They look for clues and tells of whether you’re home or not, like for instance if your car is parked outside your garage and what type of car you drive. They’ll monitor Facebook feeds, use Google Maps (among others), tap into your phone lines or simply try to pick up the same frequency as your handheld phone, your child’s walkie-talkie or a baby monitor. They appear friendly, don’t look criminal, and even will talk to your kids and the people around your neighborhood. They can even be working for a legitimate business like construction, lawn care, or simply appear to be selling magazines or some sort of service. The entire point is they don’t look like a part of the criminal element and they know what to do, how to do it, and appear not to be doing anything out of the ordinary at all. They know you, your family and your schedule and can use today’s technology, besides social networking, to help themselves to your belongings. They want to be in, out and not draw attention to themselves. So that means you need to take the proper precautions, have your security in layers, and learn how to minimize your losses as you can’t fully prevent loss. =============================================== How a Mark is Chosen Some crimes and robberies may be random, yet that shouldn’t make you think it isn’t any less important to be quite prejudice with those you associate with. We’re not talking outright bigotry or racism, mind you, however we do mean learning that location not only matters but also how you, yourself act and how you care for your property. A lot of criminals, professional or not, look for several key factors before they mark a house to be hit. The below is only but a few of the items they possibly look for before choosing if a house is worth the risk or not. Some questions that they may ask themselves are below: Familiarity with the target(s) and their property: • Is it occupied? > If so, what is the number of occupants? > Do they have pets? • If not, are they moving in or out? > Is the house completely empty? > Is it being remodeled? > Are people there working or picking up belongings? • Have I ever been within the house? • Do I know these people? • Have I conversed with them before? • Do their pets know me? • Can I gain entry again through previous interactions? • Do they have weapons that can be used against me? • What are their personal attributes (sex, gender, sexuality, religious and political beliefs…etc) • Is the house vacant for extended periods • Is the house routinely empty during the day • Are the occupants new? • Are the occupants young or old? • Is it a house with college kids or not? How convenient is the location: • Is the house in a high crime area? • Are there already potential offenders nearby? • Is the house near a major thoroughfare? • Is the house near an artery street/road? • Is the house on the outskirt of the area? • Has the house been burglarized before? • Have other houses within the area been burglarized before? How good is the house’s Visibility: • Can I be seen from afar? • Can the neighbors see me? • Can I see the house from afar? • Can I see the house on Google maps? • If I survey the house, will people see and question me? Accessibility: • Are the house’s plans online? • How many windows and doors do they have? • Do they lock the garage? • Is the garage attached? • Are there decks or trees I can use to gain access? • Is there a basement? • Are the basement windows secured? • Do they have a security system? • What kind of cover exists around the house? • Is it secluded? • How good is the lighting around the house (A lot of people will avoid robbing a house with light on)? • Is the house on a corner lot? • Is the house designed with concealing architecture? • Is it next to the alley? • Is the house old? • Are entry points (windows and doors) showing sign of decay or disrepair? • Are the occupants careless about security procedure? • Does the house have any security devices that I can see? • Houses displaying signs of wealth (expensive items, decorations, boxes and packaging of high-end items) • Do they have a security system? Potential rewards: • Are they wealthy? • Do they live a comfortable lifestyle? • Do they have items I can gain without going too far into the house? • Do they have a safe? • Do they encrypt and password protect their electronics? • Would they use trackers on any of their property? • Is the risk worth it? • How quick can I sell off the loot? As you can see, just from guesswork alone, if someone were to rob a house and ask themselves these questions… they’d cut their risk, a lot, while increasing yours. It’ll be easier to break in and rob an elderly couple or someone new in the area than a young couple or some college house that has been in the area for awhile. It’d also be easier to take advantage of and possibly worse of a woman than a man. =============================================== Securing points of entry This chapter is dedicated to explaining what you can possibly do to your doors, windows and garage. These three areas are the most common and should be the only real possible points of entry to your home. Everything here should be taken into consideration before being applied to anything. Laws and neighborhood associations aside, having a fortress of freedom in the middle of suburbia may increase yours odd to be investigated or robbed than lessen them. Always think and assess before doing any of the suggestions below. Not all doors or windows will need the same level of security as the others, whereas some will need something much more drastic. Bars in the middle of a suburb will look out of place and give people a reason to question you and your motives. This doesn’t mean you can’t outfit some frames and pre-installed brackets and sockets, just in case. Be aware you’ll run into some suggestions for windows, doors or the garage already suggested on another list within this chapter. The door: The door will always be the main point of entry, if possible, for any criminal element. Especially if the door is out of sight or is the least visible point of entry. They would rather go through a door than try to force a window and draw possible attention to themselves or cause more noise than necessary. • The money is worth the initial investment • All tips should be applied to any and all doors on your property • ADT or some other security sticker on all doors and garage doors (ensure the company is real and does business in your area) • Ensuring all doors are locked when away or not in use • Never post or place NRA stickers on your doors (the stickers are magnets for gangs that are on the lookout for houses to steal guns from) • Never post or place political stickers on your doors (this, too, acts like a magnet for some troublesome people) • Place an emergency sticker on your doors that alerts emergency respondents that you’ve animals on the property (this also acts as a warning to would be thieves you’ve animals that’ll probably make noise) • Installing and using a deadbolt (either with a removable handle or a double cylinder) • If using a deadbolt look into installing a secondary deadbolt at head height or higher • Ensure the key is never left within the lock of deadbolt. • If you need to keep the deadbolt key or handle near the door, hang it above the door and out of reach or against a wall away from the door • Ensure the key can’t be grabbed by smashing through the door’s window • Invest in buying a ‘Lock Jaw’ (http://www.amazon.com/Lock-Jaw-Security-1001-Polished/dp/B000RZQAPM) for each and every deadbolt you own if you can’t remove the handle • When purchasing locks, look for bump-key protected locks • Always invest in buying a solid steel door and door frame • Don’t buy pre-hung • Always use piano hinges that go the length of the door, never use exterior hinges • When installing the door and/or door frame, ensure you use galvanized screws that are quite long and guaranteed not to bend or snap • Look into reinforcing the door jamb with steel plates (http://www.amazon.com/Safe-Homes-International-55724-Reinforcer/dp/B003P5KJJO) that run the length of the door, and, again, use galvanized screws that are long and guaranteed not to bend or snap • If you can’t reinforce the door jamb, at least reinforce the strike plate (http://www.amazon.com/MINTCRAFT-HSH-004BN-Security-Strike-Brushed/dp/B000UVR4BC/) • Look into installing individual alarms (http://www.amazon.com/Window-Door-Alarm-Kit-Pack/dp/B007RUGANC) on each door within your house and garage • Invest in buying a ‘Club’ (http://www.amazon.com/Door-Stopper-Resists-Force-Protect/dp/B00007E7LN) for each and every door within your house, including service doors and doors that enter an attached garage or similar building • Don’t buy and invest money in a door cane/bar (http://www.amazon.com/Master-Lock-265DCCSEN-Dual-Function-Security/dp/B0002YUX8I/) (goes under the handle). Most are easily bent and pushed through, but if you want to buy one make sure it’s very solid and is paired with the above • To go the extra mile, you can get two brackets and install them on either side of the door (again, galvanized screws that are both long and guaranteed to not bend or snap). Then lay a heavy and thick piece of wood or metal pipe across said brackets. This creates another layer that should help prevent kicked in or forced open doors. This can be painted and decorated to look more natural and match the home’s décor; however it’s advised for doors out of sight or rarely used, like side doors. • Always ensure to lock and properly secure all sliding doors, try using a cable or lock (http://www.amazon.com/Window-Door-Restrictor-Cable-Multiple/dp/B00UYDY3XS/) • Security lights (motion activated) should be installed above each door that leads to the outside • A security camera should be installed, be it fake or real, above each door that leads outside • The trim around the door should be covered, be it with siding or another form of covering • Bells or some other noise-making object hung where the door will hit or placed on the door itself • Place a “Do Not Disturb” sign on door and/or a “No Solicitor” sign on all doors or next to it • Even if not religious, have a religious item, statue or picture in sight if someone looks through the doors or their windows (can scare or cause guilt in some) • Keep all keys, documents and valuables away from doors • You’ll always have one unsecured door when you leave the house and no one’s home. Ensure the door you leave from is one in plain sight of the street and neighbors • Ensure all other doors are secured properly before leaving The windows: If a potential thief can’t use any door on your property, their next point of entry will most likely be the window if they haven’t decided to give up. Some will give up as the window will most likely cause more noise than going through the door whereas some others have prepared for just this case. • The money is worth the initial investment • All tips should be applied to any and all windows on your property • ADT or some other security sticker on all windows (ensure the company is real and does business in your area) • Ensuring all windows are closed and  locked when away or not in use • Ensure the child protection safety latches are enabled • Never post or place NRA stickers on your windows (the stickers are magnets for gangs that are on the lookout for houses to steal guns from) • Never post or place political stickers on your windows (this, too, acts like a magnet for some troublesome people) • Place an emergency sticker on your windows that alerts emergency respondents that you’ve animals on the property (this also acts as a warning to would be thieves you’ve animals that’ll probably make noise) • Install security film (http://www.amazon.com/Security-Window-Film-Wide-Roll/dp/B004LDBPY2/) on all windows possible (look into tinted too) • Install or put up blackout curtains, especially ones that offer noise cancelation (prevents people from peeping in and/or listen in) • Look into a window bar or simply use a piece of PVC | WOOD | METAL | PIPE above all windows • Look into installing a window lock (http://www.amazon.com/Cardinal-Gates-Window-Warden-White/dp/B007PLZUUC/), if possible • Place bars on all basement windows • Look into installing individual alarms (http://www.amazon.com/Window-Door-Alarm-Kit-Pack/dp/B007RUGANC) on each window within your house and garage • Ensure all frames are thoroughly sealed and caulked, double check for possible flaws • Even if not religious, have a religious item, statue or picture in sight if someone looks through the windows (can scare or cause guilt in some) • Keep all keys, documents and valuables away from windows • Place ‘security hedges’ (thorny bushes) under windows or close to them, make sure they’re dense enough that someone can’t hide in them or by them • Basement windows should have a cap placed over them (those plastic domes) • If windows are older, replace them with double or triple pane • Windows that are never in use or pose a bigger threat, even with the above done, should be screwed shut (not nailed)   The garage: Doors and windows aren’t the only point of entries. Many people, especially in higher class neighborhoods, tend to leave their garages completely unsecured. No one really pays much mind to the garage until it’s broken into. This is why you should be pro-active and secure your garage to further minimize your loss, especially if you’ve a garage attached to your house. • The money is worth the initial investment • All tips should be applied to any and all garages on your property • ADT or some other security sticker on all windows and doors (ensure the company is real and does business in your area) • Get a solid garage door, not a thin aluminum one. A solid steel or wooden garage door can help deter would be thieves • Ensure your garage door doesn’t have windows, if it does, secure or board over them • Limit the access points into your garage, board up windows if you don’t want or need them. • Ensure you’ve installed individual alarms (http://www.amazon.com/Window-Door-Alarm-Kit-Pack/dp/B007RUGANC) on all doors and windows, like suggested above • Ensure all service entrances have deadbolts, secondary deadbolts and bump-key proof locks • Ensure you always keep your garage clean and organized, this helps you see if anything is stolen or has been moved • Always park your vehicles in your garage. A car left out can suggest you’ve more than one car or are hardly home enough to use your garage • Zip-tie the emergency garage door release. Thieves and intruders can use a variety of means to release it and open your garage • Always close your garage door, even if you’re in there. An open garage door allows people to enter and scout around, possibly even allow access to your house. • Always invest in buying a solid steel  service door and door frame • Don’t buy pre-hung • Always use piano hinges that go the length of the door, never use exterior hinges • When installing the door and\or door frame, ensure you use galvanized screws that are quite long and guaranteed not to bend or snap • Look into reinforcing the door jamb (http://www.amazon.com/Safe-Homes-International-55724-Reinforcer/dp/B003P5KJJO) with steel plates that run the length of the door, and, again, use galvanized screws that are long and guaranteed not to bend or snap • If you can’t reinforce the door jamb, at least reinforce the strike plate (http://www.amazon.com/MINTCRAFT-HSH-004BN-Security-Strike-Brushed/dp/B000UVR4BC/) • Always ensure the service door leading to the house can be locked only from the house and not the garage • Ensure all windows are closed and locked when away or not in use • Ensure the child protection safety latches are enabled • Install security film (http://www.amazon.com/Security-Window-Film-Wide-Roll/dp/B004LDBPY2/) on all windows possible (look into tinted too) • Install or put up blackout curtains, especially ones that offer noise cancelation • Look into a window bar or simply use a piece of PVC | WOOD | METAL | PIPE above all windows • Look into installing a window lock (http://www.amazon.com/Cardinal-Gates-Window-Warden-White/dp/B007PLZUUC/), if possible • Invest in locked cabinets, lockers and toolboxes to keep thieves out of your tools and belongings. This also prevents you from supplying them the tools to break in • Ensure all explosives, flammables and similar items are put away, locked and out of site. These items can be used to gain entrance in your home • Look into investing into a good bike lock or two, non-combination. Use these to secure tools and larger items to your walls or to weights of sorts to prevent theft or use against you • Ensure you’ve installed private drive, private property…etc signs around your garage • Security lights and cameras (real or fake) can also help deter would be thieves and intruders • Check your garage door’s tracks. If they allow it, you can secure your garage door further by placing a lock-bar or a simple steel coat hanger through the tracks to prevent the door from being forced Before we continue into the next chapter, we’d like to remind you that the above is simply a series of suggestions. Your needs may be quite different, and doing all the above would be pointless if you only need to do one to two of the options only. Always assess your security and privacy needs before starting any of the projects or suggestions above. Remember to also go the cost effective route and not the cheapest or most expensive – you don’t usually need titanium screws that are a foot long to secure your hardware. =============================================== Your Property, Your Rights We’re granted a lot of rights as to do what we wish with our property, but due to some laws and varying home or neighborhood associations (that could give Soviet Russia or Nazi Germany a run for their money) there exist some limitations. This is why we stated in a previous chapter on asking yourself several questions ad also investigating your local and state laws. It’s quite crucial you do this as legally as possible without voiding anything and bringing hell down upon your head. This will result in less security and privacy if you do so, which also will increase possible danger to you and yours. You also must realize that if all other possible points of entry are secured and locked tight, they’ll look for other possible points by gaining even more access to your property through your backyard or the side of your house to look and test for possible weaknesses. This is why you also need to doubly check your laws and such, for if you want to prevent them from stealing some prized plants (meth heads steal the strangest things) or decorations and ornaments... you must be on guard even with the law. Now, similar to OPSec, you’ll want to compartmentalize your property with the proper fencing. Everyone loves a wide, open yard until raccoons or neighbors begin inviting themselves to your expensive Jacuzzi. And, if you do build a fence, remember to always go to the legally allowed maximum height. You want to go with the legal material, too. Some places aren’t too keen on h iron fences topped with razor-wire and broken glasses. To make it simpler for you, we’re going to list the things you need to know about building a fence. Things to know for safety and legal purposes: • When picking the material, and if it’s wood, let it dry a day or two before construction • Let the wood dry, especially after construction, before applying any finished or varnishes on • Always buy your posts a little longer, as you always want to set and sink said posts quite deep to prevent sagging, movement and easily lifted posts • Ensure the hinges are sized correctly, no matter what • Ensure you “Step” the fence up or down, changing elevation, when dealing with slants and hills • Spaces and gaps from “stepping” can be covered with chicken wire or a lattice • The “nice side” faces toward the outside of your property (toward the neighbors) and not you • Always check your codes, some places will want your posts sunk deeper than two feet • Always have someone professionally check for lines and such before digging Things to do for privacy and security • Always build your fence the maximum, legal height and width • Check for clauses and codes that may prevent or allow you to put up a lattice on your fence (deters would be thieves, also can break and generate even more noise. Possibly leave DNA behind) • Always ensure the fence has at least two good locks • If legal in your area, and the fence is high enough, look into “anti-vandal” (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-climb_paint) paint • If not violating anything, ensure to have visible signs that range from “no solicitors” to “Private property” and even those advertising the use of “Anti-climb paint” and that you have “Cameras in use” • If you own a dog, don’t use an “Attack dog” or “Guard dog” on property sign. Use a “Dog on property” sign to avoid potential lawsuits (two advertise a violent dog while the other simply states you own a dog) • Install bells or chimes on the fence and ensure it makes noise if jiggled or being opened • Ensure to have lights around or on top of your fence to help illuminate the area Your fence is all but one part of securing your property. You also need to ensure your yard is seen as clean. You can’t leave toys, belongings and miscellaneous items lying around. These will not only entice people to investigate your property, but also advertises what you may own or have on your property. You also need to keep your yard in shape, which isn’t to say you need a perfectly manicured lawn. Just keep it mowed, the hedges trimmed and weeds pull make people see that someone is there and keeping up on the property. Not much can be done outside of common sense; however you need to ensure you don’t advertise your political beliefs and party to the whole neighborhood and world. People are notoriously fickle individuals who’ll vandalize and steal property (http://www.washingtontimes.com/blog/inside-politics/2012/oct/9/romney-signs-defaced-excrement-virginia/) belonging to another simply because they don’t vote the same way or believe in the same things. And, on the upside, you also lessen hazards presented on your property or items that can be used to break into your house. Talking about hazards, people are quite curious; ensure you keep your yard smelling crisp and clean. If you have pets or kids, just keeping up on the lawn and putting your property away won’t matter much if something smells out of places. Hose down your sidewalks and pickup after Fluffy ASAP! It takes one concerned, elderly neighbor to have SWAT descend upon your house like flies toward Fluffy’s processed dinner. Take the 10 minutes and cleanup after your pets and kids. Better to be safe than sorry. And, to handle things more humanely, also looking into planting attractive plants and flowers on your property instead of putting up enticing ornaments and such than attract people like birds to a shine object. And, besides, decorating your property isn’t too bad of a thing. Shingled patios and pea-stone pebbled drives or walks generate noise and can spook would-be thieves due to the added noise. Also, a reminder: Always keep your part of the alley clean, too. It takes one pet carcass or some spilt red paint for the police to question you about the state of your garbage cans. It doesn’t hurt to bleach them out twice a month to prevent mold, mildew, bugs and whatever else might cause someone to question your garbage and recycling receptacles. =============================================== Your Home, Your Rules Not many people think that outside of doing the above that they’ve anything really left to do, however these people are wrong and probably will end up with their property broken into and items stolen. You’ve a bit more to do before you can feel as if your home is properly secured, and this chapter’s the fun on in our opinion. You see, as we stated, a criminal isn’t going strike during the night, but during the day when most people are at work. And, like we’ve stated before, the ones coming at night are amateurs, gang members and druggies (Meth heads will cause havoc). Those coming in at night will wreck your property; possibly even drive a car through your wall to get inside. These people aren’t going to hit a high end neighborhood with a few security guards or an active populace, though, and rarely will attempt it in desperation unless they have family or friends within the area—like vampires, they usually have to be invited into the area beforehand (possibly by a drug deal?). Your professional criminal or at least semi-intelligent one will strike when you’re at work. They’ll have spent several days learning your schedule and the schedules of your family, among other people in your area. They’ll look for weaknesses and easily overpowered individuals (remember the questions). They want to get in, out, and do so quietly. This is why the previous chapters recommended so much and basically suggested bells and chimes on your doors. You could also even use a motion detector in and around your property; however once they’re inside or feel confident enough it won’t matter. This is where it’s time to be a diabolical little devil. If you can afford it, do get an alarm system besides doing the above. They do work, although they shouldn’t be relied upon due to the fact that some companies do have criminals amongst their ranks. There’s also the fact that no alarm is foolproof. A cat or small dog could destroy censors, or bugs can cover them up or even get inside the sensors or cameras and wreck them. So, yes, get an alarm but never rely on them. And, just as an FYI, always sleep with your alarm set. You want them to go off instantly once the door or window has been opened, breached or broken. The noise will spook most would-be thieves into evacuating the scene instead of being taken in by the police. You also want to get not one but two dogs as most people think they can take on a big, mean looking dog. A good pairing is getting a small dog, as they’re usually prone to bark, and one nice sized big dog that look as if they could tear a person’s face. The reasoning behind the two dogs is quite simple: Companionship for you and each other, but also because one won’t likely shut up while the other begins to cave a would-be thief’s butt in while trying to flee the scene. Now, if you want to ruin someone’s night or day and really cause some undue stress and take a few years off someone’s life—get child safety locks. We’re not joking here. Seriously get yourself some child safety locks on everything you can. From Velcro “Safety bands” on your fridge to cabinet and drawer locks. Each and every possible container and appliance that may contain something of value or something a person could take should be locked by a child safety device, even the toilet. People, when breaking in, no matter how many times as we state it, want to get in and out. They want to basically get in and out. Noise, lights and visibility scare them away, so imagine what happens if they get in and can’t even open up a drawer without the trademark “KLLLLLCCHHHH” sound from Velcro or having to struggle with applying just the right amount of pressure to open up a drawer. Go the full nine yards and even do this to the garage, too, along with every outlet on your property having a child protection cap. You might as well put a protective case around your thermostat, too. Imagine the surprise when a thief has to traverse these potential time wasters alongside worrying about noise and lights. You also want not one but several safes and cabinets that lock. The reasoning behind this is that it causes one of those “too many choices” moments, yet also causes another time waster. They can’t just smash a safe as that, too, causes noise and picking the lock is going take awhile. Guns, jewelry, small and portable electronics, documents and what have you should always have a place and be within that place before you leave. A good, solid filing cabinet with locks is another good idea. Keeping your house clean is also very important as this hinders would-be thieves and any potential tools they can use to break into things. This also makes it look like that you either just stepped out or have a maid service to clean your property. Some people will leave simply due to the fact that you could be home any second and just possibly stepped out for a smoke or some more cleaners. This is also why it’s important to keep your house and not just your property smelling nice. If someone smells something off or as stale, they might see that you’ve been gone for awhile or get curious enough as to call the authorities on you for an off smell. Another good point is keeping something on, when away, to simulate conversation or noise like a radio or a TV. Some of your newer TVs do allow people to set timers to turn the TV on when a specific show is on or time is met. Getting a clapper for lamps is also a good way to help keep people off guard when they’re unsure someone’s home or not. You also want to buy timers for your radio, as when the TV goes off, having your radio go on simulates that someone may be in the house. Basically, we’re simply stating that nothing is 100% safe and will prevent thieves and criminals from breaking into your home, hence the constant layering of protection and safety. You need to ensure your house’s and property’s entry points aren’t only secured, visible and monitored by a camera and lit up whenever someone comes near, you also want the same with your fence. You also need to ensure your home and your belongings are secured and safe and locked up nicely; too, to ensure people just can’t smash into your house and run out with its goodies. And, before we close this chapter, we’d just like to remind people that they need to ensure expensive items that can’t be stored in a safe, like a TV or stereo, are properly secured to a wall or their stand--a pain for you, but doubly so for others wanting your stuff. =============================================== Afterword As mentioned in the above, it’s really just layering and being on guard. You can lock everything up and ensure you’ve the proper insurance (home owners…etc), however if someone wants it they’ll try to get into your house and property and take it. You need to be aware of everything around you and realize the biggest threat to your stuff is you. Remember OPSec and compartmentalization for your family and home: • Don’t advertise your guns or belongings • Always lock everything up and turn off what isn’t needed • Keep a light on and something that makes noise • Set your washer or dryer to turn on a few minutes after you leave (to simulate activity) • Never leave your house without say “goodbye” to someone (simulates activity and occupancy) • Befriend trustworthy neighbors (they’ll keep an eye on you and your property) • Never announce when leaving or going on vacation (especially not on social media) • Replace your mailbox with a locking one • Asking to have the post office hold your mail while away • Having friends or family (that you trust) to watch your home and property while you’re gone (or at least to stop by, walk around and check things once a day) • Always keep your property and house clean and smelling nice • Keep your property and home organized • Put your belongings away • Lockup and store things away when not in use • Always password protect everything you can • Etch your name, phone number and address into electronics and attach labels inside of items that may get taken • Take pictures and catalogue everything of  value and worth, even if sentimental, and keep a physical album with up-to-date descriptions and serial numbers in your safe or a safety deposit box • Be aware of who you're friends with • Remove your house and property from online maps (Check the Paranoid’s Bible PDF for more information) • Anchor TVs, monitors, and other similar items to furniture or floors • Don't flaunt expensive things, valuables...etc • Don't gloat about items of value or rarity • Don't advertise your recent purchases (always destroy, break down...etc packaging and throw a bit at a time) • Always use a cell to call police, thieves can and have tapped landlines or gotten access to your phone before or during break-ins • Don't throw away receipts or important documents (shred or burn) • Tell kids never to open doors and/or talk to strangers • Invest in bike locks, cable locks and other similar items to secure tools and work benches (even if locked before) to cement or other similar weights • Remind kids to never tell if you're not there or asleep • Don't leave drills, ladders...etc laying around (helps break into your house) • If ordering a taxi, get it on the corner of your block • If being dropped off by a taxi, get dropped off at the corner or a nearby shop/business • Keep your vehicles empty and in the garage • Don’t advertise political parties or beliefs on your car • Don’t use “Family stickers” as these can be used to gather info on you • Just don’t place anything on your car outside of permits and security items • Keep drapes closed, but if opened keep expensive items out of sight • Wasp/bear or mace will ruin a person's night if sprayed in the face • Make copies of all your important documents, including copies of all your credit cards (store in safe or safety deposit box) • And remember: You can do everything correctly and to the letter of the law, yet people will still try to find fault with your actions. Again, as we stated numerous times: You can’t prevent all break-ins, only lessen your loss. We hope this helps you and your family stay safe and keep your home and property safe.

Book Review: Colum McCann’s Apeirogon

by Dr. Sorcha Fogarty

 The Austrian Jewish and Israeli philosopher Martin Buber states, “The world is not comprehensible, but it is embraceable: through the embracing of one of its beings.” Colum McCann’s new novel, Apeirogon, embodies Buber’s sentiment, his novel elucidating the very essence of Buber’s philosophy: If we can’t avoid the abuse of power, may we at least love powerfully and embrace all. With Apeirogon, a hybrid of fact and fiction, McCann focuses what has been referred to as the world's "most intractable conflict," with the ongoing Israeli occupation of the West Bank and the Gaza Strip. Based on a true story, McCann’s remarkable work centers on two fathers - Rami Elhanan, an Israeli, and Bassam Aramin, a Palestinian - who each lost a young daughter to senseless violence. The novel explores how they form an alliance, becoming friends and working together through an organization called Parent’s Circle, a group of the fellow-bereaved who unite in their sorrow to press for a peaceful resolution to the conflict: “This became their jobs: to tell the story of what had happened to their girls.”

Regarding the unusual title of the book, McCann explains,

“An apeirogon is a shape with a countably infinite number of sides. It sounds crazy and impossible and beautiful all at once—and it is. You can be part of an infinite shape and land on any finite point within it. You can be at home and you can be everywhere. And you can, in fact, be lost too. I think it’s a word that suggests the modern condition. It's a strange word too. And sort of clumsy. But it sticks in your mind.”

 Apeirogon is structured as 1,001 individual chapters, in an homage to One Thousand and One Nights, (first translated in 1704), the collection of Middle Eastern folk tales. The chapters are diverse; traversing the present and the past, from memories of Rami and Bassam’s childhoods to the migratory patterns of birds, the make-up of bullets, the mechanics of the human eye, opera, architecture, weaponry and history. It is also a novel full of strange but true anecdotes, which McCann expertly weaves into the narrative, as critic Ben Libman identifies,

“Did you know that François Mitterand’s final meal was an ortolan, cooked whole — a traditional French dish thought to be so shameful to eat that the diner must cover his head with a napkin while chewing? Or that, when a suicide bomber activates his vest, his head usually separates from his body, a phenomenon known as the mushroom effect? Or that a frigate bird can stay aloft for two months without touching down?”

 In many of McCann’s 1,001 unique chapters (some merely comprising a few sentences, others simply blank pages), we follow Rami and Bassam in something like real time. They attend meetings, give lectures, and worry about crossing border checkpoints. McCann also refers back to earlier points in the men’s lives. It is essential not to lose sight of the fact that these are real people, two fathers from opposing sides who became united in grief. Speaking of his first meeting with Rami and Bassam, McCann recalls,  

“These two men were sitting there and they introduced themselves as Rami and Bassam. Ordinary men in an ordinary place - or so it seemed. And then they began to tell me about their daughters, Smadar and Abir, both of them lost in the conflict. I have to tell you, they pinched every ounce of oxygen from the air. It seemed to me like it was the first time they had ever told the story. Of course it wasn’t. They had told it hundreds of times before. But I was deeply moved and forever changed. It’s a little embarrassing to admit but I cried my eyes out that day. They told me that I had to harness the power of my grief which is what I hope the book does.”

Having spent seven years in prison for a failed grenade assault on IDF soldiers, Bassam is the walking image of the effects of the Occupation. When he is released, he desires nothing more than to marry and have children, seeing in family the promise of a kind of liberty. Rami, a descendent of a Holocaust survivor, and a second-generation adoptee into an old Jerusalemite family, was an apolitical graphic designer. As a young man, he participated in the violence of the Yom Kippur War, and learned what it meant to kill someone. From multiple angles, we witness the events that led to their daughters being killed. These multiple angles directly relate to the title of the novel. The apeirogon, as noted earlier, is an extension of the definition of regular polygon to a figure with an infinite number of sides. Thus, McCann takes the geometrical symbol of the apeirogon and makes it an allegory for the limitless nature of the novel, where meaning is infinite and every angle that is explored simply gives rise to the need for further exploration.

On the unusual structure of the book, McCann states,

“The structure found me. It seemed like the right way to tell the story. The situation in Israel and Palestine is confusing to most of us. And I replicated that a little by trying to confuse the reader in the beginning, not in any malicious way, but in order to say that confusion is okay, confusion can be embraced, confusion can bring us to the edge of understanding. And I wanted to write a very contemporary novel where we jumped and jumped and jumped, but always came home to the story of the young girls.”

 Much of the text at the literal centre of the book comes directly from the source material; in the note that precedes the novel, McCann tells us they’re “pulled together from a series of interviews in Jerusalem, New York, Jericho and Beit Jala.” Indeed, bits of these chapters can be found online in articles from The New York Times and The Guardian. In positioning these most intimate recollections of grief at the centre of Apeirogon, McCann indicates their primary importance in the novel. They are also the most harrowing moments in the book; agonizing to read, but essential as a means of understanding the personal tragedies which arise from all political conflicts,

“I still sit in that ambulance every day,” Bassam tells us. “I keep waiting for it to move. Every day she gets killed again and every day I sit in the ambulance, willing it to move, please move, please please please, just go, why are you staying here, let’s just go.”

 Rami, recounting the moments before he learns for certain that his daughter Smadar is dead, says,

 “You find yourself running in the streets, in and out of shops, the cafe, the ice cream store, trying to find your daughter, your child, your Princess — but she has vanished. … You go from hospital to hospital, police station to police station. … You do this for many long hours until eventually, very late at night, you and your wife find yourselves in the morgue.”

 From the formation of this unlikely friendship, the two men have made it their mission to talk to anyone who will listen so that the tragic loss of their daughters may help to prevent this unbearable pain for others, and to give a space for grieving to those who have suffered similar tragedies. By taking on the challenge of writing Apeirogon, McCann has created a formidable book about war, death, pain, grief, healing, and friendship. It is not an easy book to read, as McCann acknowledges, but that is what makes reading it all the more essential. As he states, “Please, let it dwell in the back of your mind for a little while. And please allow it to disrupt you. And then give it to others.”

Sources

https://www.mcmp.philosophie.uni-muenchen.de/students/math/basic-set-theory.pdf

Pellicer, Daniel & Egon Schulte. “Regular Polygonal Complexes in Space.” Transactions of the American Mathematical Society.  Vol. 362, No. 12 (Dec 2010), pp. 6679-6714 (36 pages).

https://www.jstor.org/stable/40997221

https://lareviewofbooks.org/article/also-about-birds-the-israeli-palestinian-conflict-in-colum-mccanns-apeirogon/

https://www.theirishworld.com/the-power-of-grief/

Available now on BorrowBox