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a-timeless-love · 7 years

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Scorpion 3x17: Dirty Seeds, Done Dirt Cheap

Scorpion faces their deepest, darkest fears.

“To steal Happy’s line, ‘not good,’” says Toby.

No one ever adopted Happy.

She’s the only child no one adopted.

Happy’s biggest fear is that Toby will reject her too.

Toby is her one last shot at a forever home.

Toby’s full attention turns completely toward Happy and the full psychotic break the love of his life is having.

All Toby can do is watch as his fiancé’s heart breaks.

“No, you promised to be with me for life! You proposed to me!” Happy exclaims.

“But I’m perfect for you,” she cries.

Happy is on the brink of death.

Because Toby knows his “little princess” best,

he gets in her head and talks her lucid.

In her dream, he appears as an eight-year-old boy at the orphanage.

Tobias introduces himself and asks if she has anything to eat. She gives him what’s left of her tuna fish sandwich from lunch.

Happy says, “I like your hat. I like you.” and he says “I like you, too.” He asks her to marry him. She says, “Uhh we just met and we’re eight.”

Toby drops the façade. “You know who I am,” he says. “And my biggest regret in life is that we really didn’t meet when we were eight, cus I would’ve fallen in love with you from that moment. The truth is you’ve never been alone. My love for you has always been there, it just took a while for our paths to cross so I could share it with you. And under all those neurotoxins in your head you know I’m right. You have nothing to be scared of, ever.”

Later that night, back home, Happy dreams of them holding hands as they walk back to the orphanage and fall in love as little kids. After the rough day she had, she deserves such sweet dreams.

Sylvester is afraid of chickens!

Paige has maybe a little too much fun playing along and teasing Sly, as the voice of his childhood bully, Bucky.

With the full support of his family, the cyclone, Sly will get the votes to win this election!

Badass, ex-football playing Marine, Cabe Gallo is a proud, older gentleman who enjoys steak, Conway Twitty, and getting senior discounts.

Cabe has got himself a girlfriend.

Cabe’s nightmare is his life is like an old 50s sitcom where the woman is too good-looking for the guy. He hallucinates he’s married to Allie, who is so mean(!!!) to him about his age. She tells him, “You were alive for so long before electricity was invented it’s still new to you,” “We could watch Jurassic Park! Might bring back some memories for you” and “What should I expect from a man whose social security number is one?”

With Paige’s help, self-improvement is Walter’s new passion.

Walter and Paige revisit the frozen yogurt shop where Walter was punched.

Walter apologizes to the vendor with whom he had a miscommunication.

Toby thinks the most logical thing is for Walter and Paige to just be good friends and that they won’t be anything more.

Much to Toby‘s surprise, Paige’s worst nightmare is Walter making out with another woman / Walter off the market and therefore not an option for her!

Happy, Sly, and Cabe are locked in vaults!

Happy, Sly, and Cabe fall unconscious.

Happy, Sly, and Cabe need to wake the f*** up!!!

They need immediate medical care or they’ll never wake up from their comas. In the middle of nowhere tundra, with the closest hospital two hours away and their doctor on another continent, Walter and Paige are up a creek without a paddle.

Toby is so smart! He figures out how to create a life-saving treatment.

Walter SMASHES a lamp!

The sparks from the electrical wires accidentally cause a chemical fire! If any of the purple flames reach the door, to the tunnel filled with very flammable oxygen, the whole building will blow to pieces! Kaboom! The flames Walter and Paige aren’t hallucinating are spreading. The unconscious members of Scorpion will suffer permanent neurological damage if they do not get treatment within the next few minutes, IF they survive the impending explosion!

If someone had to die, who should?

Best Guest: RAY!!!!!

Best Dressed:

Hottest:

Cutest Couple/Death of Me:

Best Lines:

Toby: How to Get Your Point Across in 30 Seconds or Less.

Allie: I feel like it’s my fault. Toby: It is.

Sly: I’ll tell Mr. Wiener! Happy: I don’t want to know what he was dreaming about. Sly: I was dreaming that it was the debate but jocks from my middle school were snapping their towels at me. Toby: Mr. Weiner? Sly: My middle school gym teacher. Toby: Thank God. Sly: In my dream, my boxers were made of pimento loaf. What does that mean? Toby: That you’re messed up.

Sylvester: Here is Sylvester - a chicken afraid of chickens.

Sylvester: It was terrifying.

Walter: Saying sorry is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of strength.

Walter: Fear is irrational. You’re gonna scare yourself out of this election.

Cabe: Grandpas look cute in their glasses.

Paige: I don’t get the reference. Cabe: God, I’m a dinosaur.

Paige (to Cabe): You’re a darn good looking man with a ton to offer.

Paige: Best tires have some wear on them, right? Cabe: No, people prefer new tires.

Toby: I wanted to thank you for the yogurt. Also, I wanted to add… Paige: I know exactly what you’re gonna say. You and Walter have been spending lots of time together, does that mean you’re more than just friends? Answer: We’re not. Toby: Actually, I wanted to say that I think you’re doing a terrific job. Getting 197 to apologize?! That is amazing work. Paige: Thank you. Toby: De nada. Now if you’ll just hand over one of those froyos. Paige: Not til after lunch.

Paige: You stay toasty while we freeze our tails off? Toby: If the snow shoe fits.

Sly: Well this isn’t spooky at all.

Happy: You don’t need to warn me about getting lost in the blizzard. Been there, done that.

Happy: You don’t want to wander the dark tunnels alone? Sly: I’d prefer not to.

Paige: I worry about his maturity level. Walter: Don’t. Ralph’s very responsible. Paige: I was talking about Toby.

Ralph: There were no pirates on the Delaware.

Ralph: What Washington did was illogical. They were outnumbered, terrible weather… Toby: That’s exactly why he did it. He needed a bold move that no one saw coming. He faced his fear, he took action, and he was victorious!

Ralph: I know he likes my mom and the logical thing is to ask her out and the most common thing to beat logic is fear, so I figured he never asked her out cus he was scared.

Toby: I’m not trying to poop on your parade.

Toby: Let’s turn that frown upside down. You wanna eat everyone else’s froyo?

Paige: What the hell’s in there with him?! Get him out of there!

Paige: What’s wrong with him? Walter: I have no idea, but I know who to ask.

Toby: Bona fide fear responses

Toby: There are no chickens in there with you. Sly: They are all over! The cameras must be broken or something!

Ralph: What’s wrong with Sylvester? Toby: I don’t know buddy. But whatever it is it’s serious.

Cabe: My arthritis is acting up. Toby: You don’t have arthritis, Cabe. Cabe: Tell that to my hand. I’ve been trying to flip this breaker and it won’t budge. Joints are killing me. Toby: Again, they shouldn’t be because you don’t have arthritis.

Toby: Happy, listen to me. Anything you might be starting to feel is not real. It’s all in your head. Happy: Sorry, I gotta go. The bell just rang. Toby: What bell? There’s no bell. Happy, Happy there’s no bell.

Ms. Weldy: Prospective parents who are looking for that very special child to help them form a family.

Ms. Weldy: Best behavior, they will be watching.

Ms. Weldy: No wrenches, no wratchets

Ms. Weldy: A proper toy for a proper lady (a doll).

Happy: I’ll be better this time, Ms. Weldy.

Toby: Who the hell’s Ms. Weldy?!

Ralph: I’ll hack public databases, see if I can find a Ms. Weldy connected to Happy in some way. Toby: She’s my fiancé, I’ll do it.

Toby: Don’t go full zombie on me!

Allie: Arthritis acting up again, honey? Cabe: It’s killing me. Allie: Still working the fuse box? Cabe: I’m having trouble with it.

Cabe: What kind of casserole is that? Allie: Kale, flaxseed, macrobiotic grains.

Cabe: I’m not hungry. Let’s curl up on the couch and watch a movie.

Allie: A new club opened up and I’m going dancing. You wouldn’t want to come, would you? Cabe: Me, dancing? No, I can’t go dancing, on account of my arthritis.

Toby: He’s gonna wish the only thing he has to worry about is arthritis.

Sylvester: foul fowl.

Sly: Back away hens, I will deep fry the lot of you.

Toby: If you don’t listen to my instructions you are going to die.

Cabe: Don’t I know you? Ray: I don’t know. Do you? It’s your hallucination, brother.

Ray: So old he got a special thanks in the Bible.

Ray: His birthday candles caused global warming.

Ray: If he were to act his age he’d drop dead right here.

Ray: Which of the following things would Allie be shocked to learn didn’t exist when Cabe was born? Manned space travel, portable calculators, or tape cassettes? Answer: All of these. All of these things didn’t exist when Cabe was born, a full decade and a half before his current girlfriend.

Ray: What grade was Allie in when you married your first wife?

Cabe: Allie likes me just the way I am. Ray: All shriveled? Don’t think so.

Cabe: I don’t want to play this game. Ray: Well nobody does, but we all have to play it eventually.

Ms. Weldy: Wonderful news, children. So many of you have found your forever homes. When I read out your names you can go and meet your new mothers and fathers.

Toby: If a match is never struck, a fire can never burn.

Happy: Hello. I’m Happy. Dr Curtis: Are you? I’m a doctor of psychiatric medicine and I can tell right away you’re not happy. Happy: I’m just nervous, Doc. Toby: Doc?! Oh crap, she’s talking to me!

Dr Curtis: If I commit to her I’m stuck with her for the rest of my life? There’s got to be something wrong with her if she’s here, right? Happy: I try hard. I’m just a little different from the other kids.

Dr Curtis: Quick to anger. Volatile. I think I’d regret this decision.

Toby: She’s been alone since she was a child and I’m gonna put an end to that.

Tobias: I like Evel Knievel. Happy: I want a motorcycle one day.

Happy: No. I don’t care. Besides, I knew that nobody would want me cus I’m defective.

Tobias: We just exited the 90s. The Spice Girls had number one hits. Half the women in America are wearing a haircut called the Rachel and everyone’s investing in a website called AskJeeves. This is a decade where everyone’s making bad decisions, so anyone who doesn’t want you in their life that’s just another bad decision.

“Bucky”: Look at Sylvester hiding in a coop, just where a chicken should be…. Come out so I can pluck your feathers…. Aw, you want to go tell the teacher? Go pull this lever and go tell them!

“Bucky”: Coward! I knew all those stories about you weren’t true…. You jumped out of a plane, captured a poisonous snake, helped save a boy from a sinkhole…. No, you didn’t you wenie! Don’t dispute the facts! …Why is a hero hiding from chickens? I think it’s time you reconsider your facts, bucko.

Sly: Fact: I leapt off of a cruise ship. Fact: I went into a cave full of bats. Fact: I punched a man in the face in prison. Fact: What you did to me in sixth grade was mean, but I’m not scared of you anymore. Cus I’m a man and I can be brave sometimes, you little turd. And I’m still telling on you.

Walter: With age comes experience, knowledge, and wisdom. What you’ve forgotten others will never know and what you’ve lived others only read about. What you can do others can only dream about.

Cabe: God, is that you? You sound a lot less confident than I thought you’d be. Walter: That’s because I’m worried about you, but I shouldn’t be.

Paige: We have to go through ergot-saturated pathways. We’ll wind up whacked out and like how they were. Walter: Not if we don’t breathe in heavily contaminated air.

Toby: If you start seeing pink elephants, know that they are not real.

Cabe: I had a messed up dream.

Sly: Chickens!

Happy: Dirty hippies, gross.

Paige: Let’s go home.

Patel: Guess I scared Mr. Dodd off. Sly: I don’t scare that easy.

Sly: I would like to apologize for my lateness. I was out of the country, working for Homeland. Patel: For the record, Mr. Dodd is not employed by Homeland. He’s only an independent contractor.

Moderator: The comic book store seems to be the basis of your platform, so please address it.

Sly: I believe that eminent domain is abuse of government power. Patel: Really? Was it an abuse when the Erie Canal was built? Sly: No, but it’s not 1825 and the stakes are a lot smaller than enabling the American shipping industry to get from the Atlantic to the Mid-West. The matter at hand is taking private property to help not the populace, but a big box store. Patel: The kind of store grown-ups go to.

Sly: I had a tough childhood. I was picked on. Make-believe was my refuge. I found solace amongst the fantasy and I would gather up my courage to face another day. And trust me, when I was a kid I needed courage just to show up at school. And I need it now for my job. But the difference is, with Scorpion, I have a team to help me remember that I can be brave. And if The Warlock’s Chest will provide refuge for more kids who don’t know they’re brave yet, well, I want it to stick around.

Patel: Brave? You ran away from your problems by hiding in a comic store. Sounds chicken to me. Sly: Chicken? Sir, I know chickens. I have been around chickens. And I sir am no chicken.

Cabe: No Vegan Thrill. I hate that place. Allie: Been there a dozen times. Cabe: Hated it every time.

Cabe: I hate kale.

Cabe: I’m really crazy about is you. You’re the first woman I’ve really enjoyed being with in a long time. But I’ve got to know that you’re comfortable with me the way I am - a little weathered and stronger for it. Cus I can’t change who I am and I wouldn’t want to. Those years make me who I am. Allie: I like classic cars, vintage clothes, Sinatra. You fit right in my wheelhouse, Mr. Gallo.

Walter: See a fear of yours? Paige: No. Maybe. No. It was nothing. I got to get some air.

Tobias: I like your pigtails. Did you know the term pigtail comes from a twist of chewing tobacco? Happy: Just shut up and you can hold my hand. Tobias: Offer accepted.

#CBS Scorpion #Quintis #Happy Quinn #Toby Curtis #Scorpion #Walter O'Brien #Paige Dineen #Waige #Scorpion CBS #Sylvester Dodd #Cabe Gallo #Ralph Dineen #Ray Spiewack #Scorpion Review

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