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#price takes a couple of photos of the aftermath to remind you of what happens when you misbehave
meowpupp · 16 days
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tw// overstim++, hybrid smut, bondage, gag, price and simon are assholrs, JUSTICE FOR JOHNNY ‼️
pup!johnny, who's been such a good boy for owner!simon recently. while pup!reader, been the complete opposite for owner!price.
you've been whining and yapping for attention constantly. you're desperate for attention and pleasure. spending most your time rutting against anything you can find. your big puppy eyes were at first endearing when you pawed at his cock, but it quickly stopped being cute.
price has had enough. you're so desperate, he can't get anything done. there's a thin line between needy and annoying, and you've definitely crossed it.
meanwhile, soap has been such a good boy. listening to each and every one of simons commands, keeping his grubby paws off his cock. he even resisted you during your weekly playdate. keeping his hands (and cock) to himself. even despite your pitiful attempts to grind on his thigh.
and so, naturally, there's an obvious conclusion here. two birds, one stone.
when simon tells soap that he's having an extra playdate with you this week, he knows something is up. it's unusual. playdates are normally a bargaining chip for good behaviour. but then again, being rewarded is something johnny never protests.
he had expected the usual, not this. as soon as he entered prices house, Simon gave him an order to follow. and so he did, only to find you bound, gagged, and desperate. all for him.
you're a sight, one that would make even the strongest man rock hard. wrists tied behind your back with pretty pink ribbon. you're dressed in white lace, the lingerie hugging each curve and roll. price had dressed you up for the pup. even going as far as gagging you, the pink dogbone shaped silicone making you drool all over the sheets.
you're already a wreck. your slick shines as it drips down your thighs. the white lace of your panties is translucent, wet fabric clinging to your prrtty cunt. the vibrator price used to torture your pretty clit tossed on the bed beside you carelessy. johnny's eyes dart all over the scene, drinking in each detail.
he can barely hold himself back, but he does. after all, he's a good boy. simons good boy. but it doesn't matter in the end. a large hand squeezes the back of his neck, simons deep voice growling in johnny ear as he speaks. "all yours, pup. show price how good you've been."
it takes him less than a second to act. johnny can't hold himself back, gipping your hips tight. you can barely take a breath as before he rups through the lace of your panties. he isn't nice like normal. instead of slowly lapping at your clit until it's swollen and desperate beneath his tounge, slowly stretching your tight cunt with his fingers- he forces his cock deep inside your swollen cunt.
he knows its mean. the way your cry and squirm beneath his tells him youve already cum multiple times. but it only makes you more fun to fuck. your greedy cunt sucks him in, a lewd squelch filling the room with each thrust.
johnny doesn't care if your sore cunt can't take it. he's not fucking you to make you feel good, this is his. his reward. his pleasure. his time to feel good.
his body is so taught and tense. each thrust is a reflection of that. his cockhead slams against your g-spot, merciless as he seeks his own pleasure. he doesn't stop, does slow. he refuses to.
even when you've cum 3 times, even when your sore, puffy cunt is stuffed full with his cum. johnny runs himself ragged. his pace frantic and feral even as you struggle. you sob and whimper into the sheets, giving price your best puppy eyes as try you beg for mercy despite the gag.
but he doesn't give it. "shhh, shh love. s'your punishment. this is what happens to horny pups like you." he growls as a big hand on the back of your head presses your face to the bed below you.
price and simon don't pay attention to you. ignoring your little squeals and yelps as johnny continues to pound into your over-sensitive cunt. they rub salt into the wound, praising the feral pup as he ruins you.
"such a good boy," "you can do better than that baby," "cmon now, harder. she's a toy johnny, use 'er."
they let johnny fuck you till he cant. your ass red and hot from his hips slamming into you, cunt puffy and swollen. johnny shoots blanks before he pulls out. he's whisked away by simon, praised by his owner till his dizzy. meanwhile, price cups your cheek, forcing your hazy eyes to meet his. "learnt your lesson? gonna be a good girl f'me now?" he smirks as you nod, not sure if you even understand what he said.
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fatesinthenight · 7 years
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Dark's Heart (part 1)
(so I was going to wait awhile for this one but I was too exited and couldn't help but start it now. This takes place after "Bim's Date". Hope you enjoy it. This is how I see Dark dealing with something like this. Lets see how this turns out. *Holds breath*)
Dark looks out the window into the backyard. He watches Bim in his garden tending to the flowers and his date bringing in some new flowers to plant. The date kneels by Bims side holding out the new flower and Bim takes it giving the date a kiss on the cheek. The date smiles and helps dig a little hole for the flower to be placed in. It has been a month since Bim's date came into his life, it ended up changing a lot of things. Since then the other egos were beginning to become open to dating and Mark encouraged them to try but to still be careful of course.
Willford had been on the most dates, most of them ending in him getting slapped or running scared for their life when he busts out the gun. Ed would from time to time but his main thing he cared about is if they would get along with his son. Silver was too shy to go on a date and said his true love was justice. Dr.Iplier said he wouldn't mind but he was too busy, but he did go out an a date once or twice. Yandere didn't go out saying he would not handle having multiple senpis and there can only be one. King of Squirrels said he would need someone to help him rule over his furry subjects and would propose that on every first date. Google was surprised someone asked for a date with him thinking no one wanted a droid including his brothers who also were asked and he went on a couple but said he wanted someone to have a good educational conversation with. Host kept to himself thinking it would be too weird to be seen with him but was told others didn't care and wanted to anyway, so he was considering it. Dark refused entirely, even if the others told him to be nice and go anyway he denied it.  
Dark watches the couple being happy together. Bim would not stop giving his date kisses on the cheek then head and just wraps an arm around them and kissed them on the lips. Dark looks away rolling his eyes. He makes his way to his office on the first floor and Willford snickers at him, "Jealous much?"
"Of what? Swapping spit with another person. No thank you." Dark saids and looks back at Willford. "And you? All you get in return is a slap on the face or a possible restraining order." Willford shrugs, "I just haven't met the right one you know. And to be fair I only pull out the gun when I know the person is actually a jerk." Dark sighs annoyed, " Who do you think has to deal with the aftermath of that and erase memories of any witnesses? Not to mention Mark has to warn people before they want to try to date you and to sign a disclaimer." Willford tugs on his suspenders, " Not all of them were bad. I had fun and some of them but you know it just didn't click. But I met some cool scamps and get invited to some parties with them to hang out." Dark gets more annoyed, "Again then you cause some disaster at some of these events and I have to deal with it." Willford laughs, "Come on that last one was fun and everyone laughed. So I got a car into a pool. Did anyone die? No."
Dark doesn't have time for this and makes his way to his office when Willford saids something. "You know you could still try to find-" Willford gets cut off as Dark appears infront of him looking very angry, his shell breaking flashing red and blue. "Don't. Say. Their. Name." He breathes heavily. "I don't want anyone near me again!!! I have no time for anyone and no one is worthy of my time." Dark takes a deep breath and straightens himself up then walks away. Will watches him go and Host walks up to Willford. "You know he doesn't like to talk about it. Why does Willford insist on it?" Host asks Will. Willford tugs at his suspenders more, "Maybe because it was the one time he was in his own way happy and that meant we didn't suffer as much from his wrath."
Dark slams his door shut and sits at his desk. He boots up his computer and tries to work, taking out some papers he needed to look over as well. He reads through them but stops after a while. Without thinking he looks at his computer and goes "that person's" profile again. They are smiling happily and posted that they were excited for their wedding that day. Dark doesn't know why he is even looking at this but he is. He tilts his head back and closes his eyes thinking about the first time he saw you.
It was a meet and greet about close to the beginning of the year. "A Date with Markiplier" came out a few days ago and Dark's had become very popular afterward. The fans wanted a meet up with the egos and after some consideration and many precautions Mark decided to make a meet and greet for them. He rented a room big enough for them to have it in and sent out the word about it. The fans were so excited and the egos were too, happy to meet the fans. Dark was less ecstatic as he sat in his chair unamused.
"Remind me again why I'm here." Dark crosses his arms looking serious as always. "You are one of us weather you like it of not so just act nice for today. And would it kill you to smile?" Willford saids looking at Dark at his spot next to him. "Yes it will.", Dark grumbles. "Look you are here now so just deal with it Edgelord." Willford pokes Dark's arm making Dark's aura seep out. 
"Ummmm Will maybe its not the best time to mess with Dark before the fans walk in..." Bim shifts in his seat at his table nervous.
"Boy's got a point. I rather not die before this thing starts." Ed leans in his chair.
"I already am going to be busy with this and tending to fans on the verge of fainting or having a large "Fangirl" moment." Dr.Iplier has a doctor bag under his table in case someone faints.
"I will be there to save the fans of course!! I am the hero they need." Silver is jumping in his seat being the most exited.
"Yes it seems we will have quite the crowd today. I can see many people outside are already using that "Facebook Live" to show they are waiting outside." Google's eyes glow as he looks up how popular the event is on the internet.
"The fans are talking happily amongst themselves while there is a threat of chaos that might commence in the building before they arrive." Host narrates softly, he was nervous about being there but wanted to be nice to the fans.
"I do hope the fans enjoy my loyal subjects and I brought them all peanut butter so we may all run out and embrace the squirrels!!!" The King of Squirrels had boxes of peanut butter behind him.
"I feel like senpi right now... I like it hehehehe." Yandere laughs to himself feeling powerful to become senpi for a day.
Mark walks in and looks at everyone in their places. He hopes nothing bad happens. "Ok guys we are opening the doors in five minutes so get ready. Katherine is out there with Tyler explaining how this is going to work. You each have your own table and line for yourself. A fan has to go to the line to the one they want to meet. They have at least a minute with you, its fast but we had to so no one can get left behind before the event is over. They do have gifts for you and anything they want you to sign. They will ask for pictures too and please for the love of everything that is holy don't do anything bad to mess up the building... I cant afford to pay for damages." Everyone looks at Willford when he saids that. "Cross my heart, but no promises.", Willford saids happily and Mark worries. "Any you. You need to be nice today. I don't want anyone running out here crying because of you." Mark looks at Dark but he feels the dark aura seeping out and shivers. He walks to the entrance where Amy is to help people get to their line and with Ethan at a table where there is t-shirts and other knick knacks of the egos to give away.
"I hope this doesn't end badly." Mark takes a deep breath to try to relax as he sits with Ethan. "Come on Mark it will be fine. Its going to be great.", Ethan saids happily fixing up the merchandise. "Yea don't worry so much. You know if they act up Kathryn just needs to snap her fingers to get them back in line. That girl knows how to take charge." , Amy pats Mark's head playfully. Mark looks up at Amy, " I know but I still worry you know me. I don't any the fans to get hurt." Tyler pokes his head out from the door, "Ok its time guys you ready?" Mark takes another deep breath and nods.
The fans walk in jumping and squealing. They walk in to find Mark and Ethan at the merchandise table in the front. They tell them they can get something now if they want for the egos to sign or save it as a gift for after the event. Amy is next by where the lines begin. They are all separated and have a sign at each beginning with the name of the ego for that particular line. She tells them to go through nicely and to wait til it was time for the event to start. The fans filled up the lines fast with more still outside the building. Tyler was at the front of the lines telling everyone they had to stand behind the red tape before they come up to the table and to please be kind to others in line. Once it was time the first people in line walked up to the tables.
Willford was having a blast, taking pictures and grabbing the phones to take a selfie telling them it has to be their phone background. Bim was shy at first but got the hang of it enjoying the fans as they said they wish he had his own show. Ed was pulling in people in for bear hugs when they asked for a hug and signing things with prices for his son. Dr.Iplier smiled at the fans and gave a fast scribble for his signature and if he saw someone looking very nervous he took his time to get them to relax and took deep breaths with them. Silver posed for every photo loving it and feeling loved when they told him he was their favorite hero. Google acted civil to everyone and smiled when the fans said he was the coolest android ever and even gave him gifts for his brothers to take back too. Host thought it was kind of the fans to want to help him find a place sign their things carefully taking his hand and guiding it to where they wanted the signature, he also liked the small conversations they would have. The King signed away delighted when the fans giggled as some squirrels climbed on them, and  asked if anyone was allergic to peanut butter before he gave a jar away. Yandere always added hearts to his signature and giggled when someone said they find him cute.
Dark was a different story. When fans came to him he just glared at them clearly not wanting to be there. He signed things and just gave them back without a word. Some were brave enough to ask for a picture and Dark allowed it but didn't smile and didn't get close to the fan. Someone tried to joke with him and called him Edgelord, Dark's shell had a small crack enough to make the fan get their signed idem and back away fast. It was coming to a point where people did not want to go near his line even if he had a lot of people wanting to meet him. Some just saw him and gave the gift to Mark at the front to give it to Dark instead. No one came to Dark's line anymore too afraid of him. He didn't mind and was glad at the fact. Willford whispered buzzkill to him but Dark didn't care.
"Well I expected that." Mark looks over at Dark siting at his table enjoying his empty line. Then you show up almost out of breath. "Im sorry *huff* is the event still going on?" You look at Mark. Mark smiles at you and picks up a water bottle hanging it to you. "Don't worry your on time. You got a good ten minutes left. If you get in line now you can still make it." You drink up the water, "Wow I'm so lucky... I thought I wasn't going to make it and ran half of the way." You look into the building and see the lines full of people but you stop and see Dark's empty one. "Ummm excuse me Mark is Dark's line closed?" You tilt your head. Mark looks back at Dark cracking his neck, "No its not. Everyone eventually got to scared to go near him. He doesn't seem to mind as you can see." You look at Dark, he does look very intimidating but you shrug your shoulders, "Well I'm going to burst his bubble."
You walk to Darks line happily. Everyone from the other lines look at you like you were crazy or had a death wish. But there you go and you stop at the red tape and wait for Dark to call you up. He looks up at you, his eyes looking you up and down. "What are you doing?" He asks placing his arms on the table. You smile at him, "Just waiting to meet you. can I come up?" Dark gives you a look, "You could have just left your gift with Mark like the others." You hold out your hands, "I don't got one. I just wanted to meet you." Dark is now curious he motions you forward. You walk up to the table not afraid and smile at him. "Are you telling me you came here without wanting a signature, bringing a gift, or wanting a picture? Yet here you stand wanting to meet me for what a minute?" Dark raises an eyebrow.
"Pretty much." You say simply. "I think your an interesting character. I know you are suppose to be evil and all that but I think there is more to you than you are letting on. Deep down I think your longing for something else besides the obvious taking over Mark or making your own deals that benefit you." You look at your phone. "Well times up I just wanted to tell you that. Bye have a good one." You make your way out.
"Your not leaving." Dark looks at you hard. You turn around to find him glaring at you. his dark aura coming out and his shell having cracks slightly. "What do you mean there is more to me? You only know me from Mark's videos. How can you possibly think you really know who I am? I am a evil ego and am feared by the others and even the fans. They say they love me and all but only because of Mark. You think you know who you are exactly talking to..." Dark's shell is cracking more. The other egos can feel it and are already preparing to jump in to protect the fans. Mark starts walking up to Dark's table to take you away before he does something bad.
You start laughing. It makes Dark surprised as well as the others around you. The fans think your asking for it and the egos think Dark's energy made you go mad. "hahahaha You think your scary. Trust me I have been through some bad things and they are worse than you." Dark looks at you eyes wide and for once amused. "Dark I know you aren't the best person ever but you know I think your like this because your acting out. Sure you love using people and you enjoy taking control but I think it is because you actually like people. sure it is to mess with them but to me it is also because you don't like being alone. You like having someone there to mess with. If you didn't then what would you do with yourself? You need people weather you like to admit it of not. That's just my opinion. I should get going I really went over the time limit but since  I'm the only one in line I guess that's ok." You turn to leave then walk back. "O one more thing." You poke Dark's nose with a boop. "See ya Edgelord." You wave at him and leave.
Everyone is doesn't know what to think. The other egos look at Dark eyes wide because he didn't react to what just happened. Mark stands their dumbfounded and you pass by him. "O by the way love your stuff. Your the best." You go to the merchandise table and buy a shirt with Dark on it from a very surprised Ethan who saw what happened. you leave with your shirt walking back to your car happily.
Dark looks after you still trying to piece together what just happened. The event ends and everyone starts to clean up. Dark still sits at his table looking at the doors you left at. "Dark you know you could have left five minutes ago right?" Mark looks at Dark. Dark sits up and walks past Mark, "I'm not doing this thing again..." Mark nods, "Noted." Dark leaves ahead of everyone. He is the first to arrive home going straight to his room. He changes for the night and lays in bed looking up at the ceiling.
"hu... I don't get their name." Dark whispers to himself. He thinks why would he care about learning a name for someone he would most likely never see again but they did do something he never thought anyone could do. They surprised him.
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god-hunter · 4 years
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All Over the Place w/ Nowhere to Go
Hey Tumblr,
I suppose it’s time to talk about Covid-19.  I’m really scared about what’s happening in the World right now and it’s absolutely affected every aspect of my Social Life at this point.  I’m not going to work anymore, although I do still technically have a job, of which I’m grateful.  However, how long that job will actually last is up to debate.  It’s a Process Serving Company.  Ya know, for when people get served papers for not paying their bills on time?  Yeeeeeeahhhh... that’s not exactly essential at this time of year.  
Yet, my company has ignored all the warnings, had us come in, attempted a work from home option, but didn’t offer it to many of us.  My boss even approached me about doing something different during this strange transition, and I said yeah, but nothing on that has resurfaced.  Instead another week went by where my work was dwindling and getting slower and slower.  There were a few boring and empty days, meanwhile other people were lamenting about lay offs. That put me in a weird place.  Then, they eventually asked if we’d be comfortable to still come in on Monday - [This past Monday 3/23] and at first I said yeah, but then I thought about my current situation at home and had to make a hard moral choice. It was absolutely the right thing to do.
For the moment, I currently live with my parents again.  And the more I go into work, the more I risk bringing home the virus to my parents, who are absolutely in the demographic of being very weak and prone to the infection.  I’d never be able to live with myself if something happened to them.  I’m trying desperately to get out of there, but Covid-19 is interrupting that, for the time being.  So I spoke with my Mom about it and at first she told me to do what feels right. I told her, I’m either not going to work, or I’m moving in to this new place before it’s ready.  She eventually conceded that even under the best of conditions, it’s always hard to go through a move.  And when it comes to work, no amount of money is worth the risk of what these stakes are.  Like I said, if anything happened to them, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.
....and now a Co-worker just forwarded me an e-mail which basically says that they need to lower wages and/or cut work hours based on the minimal work that’s coming in at this time.  What the FUCK Man!!!  Just let us go at this point!
Regardless either way I slice it, technically I don’t have insurance anymore.  So that’s just great.  I’m literally processing that right now as of a minute ago.  I am absolutely getting my Meds TOMORROW.  And I’ll just see if it’s the usual price or the absolute rip-off that I remember from years ago.
FUCK!  And here all I wanted to do was complain about my Ex and talk about girls.  Now none of that fucking matters anymore.  Literally right before this, I was lamenting about how my Ex is upset with me because I deleted all of our pictures from Facebook.  Except with Facebook, it’s never really deleted.  Anything on FB that you were tagged in, is still on your page until you remove the tag or ‘Hide’ them.  Well, I’m tired of going through the emotional duress, so I decided that the public photos that I can’t touch will just remain.  At least for now.  I even read an article on FB etiquette over this thing, because I heard enough different responses that I was like, “Really???”
First of all...  Deleting photos is healthy.  Its a sign of moving on.  I just figure, save them all in a folder and be done with it.  One day I’m gonna meet a girl, and I’m not gonna want her to see all these pictures of me with my ex.  Especially if I’m gonna be dating soon.  But again, that’s where the whole Covid thing comes in to interfere.  And again, considering that it’s affected my job to this capacity, now none of that even matters.  Just another emotion I’m navigating through.
To that end, I have minimal updates on any of the girls I’m talking to, because well... there’s nothing to do.  Covid has forced me to be a shut in.  My daily schedule literally consists of getting up, having breakfast, playing video games/going for a walk (not always in that order), having lunch, being social/watching a thing (not always in that order), having dinner, putting on a movie/being social. (Again not always in that order).  I’ve been staying sane during my Quarancation.  Taking it day by day.  But today has been truly taxing on my mind.  And also, I haven’t gone for a walk yet because my feet hurt.  I literally cut up my heels walking, because the shoes somehow scrape against the back of my heel, yet are comfortable enough for typical walking/sitting.  What the Hell?
The minor updates are all online via text or FB.  So I’ll start with texting Bakery Girl.  Not much doing.  We barely talk.  I’m not getting much of a vibe from her if any.  So I’m not going out of my way to text her every night or every other day.  But when we talked last night it was primarily about work and how times is scary.  Her bakery is still open, but then we talked about my job and what little we’ve heard from people that are still in there.
Next I’ll bring up Gamer Girl.  This one already has an ending, since the last entry.  We’re just gonna be friends.  However, I’ve noticed that she likes to message me when she gets home from work and talk for the literal hour she has before she goes to bed.  I think it’s sweet, but I also don’t... care?  I dunno. It’s literally going nowhere and would’ve been a bad idea in the first place.  Still though she reminds me that we WILL do Video Games and Pizza again, and she Will come over to my new place once it’s all set to do different games with me there.  Again, I think that’s awesome.  There’s also a flirty weird vibe about her conversation.  But she already said it won’t get weird.  She has a Poly Partner she visits and that completely works for her.  So there it is.
Now I’ll actually add a new name to this list.  Let’s call her Zombie Girl.  This one is an old friend, whom I met when I was 15.  She was way older and never on my radar.  In fact... I was illegal. o.o But fast forward to when I was like 24 or something, I definitely did a lot of theatre gigs on drums, while she acted.  Didn’t think much of anything with her, but she was always nice and silly to talk to.  One random cast party, she was absolutely all over me, drinking, talking and just hanging around me all night.  There might’ve been arm over the shoulder stuff, but nothing serious.  Then, when we said goodnight, she walked me to my car and was drunk enough to not give a fuck and kiss me goodnight right on the lips. I remember saying, “Goodnight Zombie,”  [Insert real name there] and that was the end of the flirtship.  I was not into her, man.  I didn’t want to do that and make it super weird. The friendship remained, however. She met someone, I met someone and 5 years went by with barely any talking!  Now however, with all of this Covid loneliness, I looked at old conversations, even when we were just friends.  And they were absolutely flirty.  And I just missed her, so... we’re talking again. Its absolutely nothing.  Just a lot of catching up and shooting the shit out of boredom.  She completely understood not keeping in touch though as we’ve both been in relationships.  As far as hanging out is concerned, right before Covid got grimly serious, she mentioned that she was interested in “shenanigans” with me.  She desperately wanted to get out of the house too, whether that would happen or not.  Now its absolutely not happening however, because everyone’s basically shut in right now. Now I’ll bring up a more significant friend.  This one I’ll call Canada Girl.  Similar year - back in 2013/2014, we had very flirty chemistry online.  This one went to High School with me.  She was a Freshman when I was a Senior and I didn’t pay her much mind.  When I was 24 though, she was 20.  Not a bad age difference.  But enough of one.  She had moved to Canada at some point, but was actually in town.  And I remember completely flaking on her when she wanted me to save her from being at her Grandma’s.  That was stupid. She absolutely broke up with her boyfriend too and went to a party where she just wanted to get fucked up and have a good time.  ::snaps fingers::  But I wasn’t into it at the time.  Whatever I was doing, it clearly was more important to me than randomly catching up and trying my luck with her. Now, however the story is once again different.  She actually hit Me up on Facebook and we had a good talk.  We both apologized for not keeping in touch, and there is already light flirty chemistry, but for the most part it’s very normal.  I won’t lie to you.  It was even like, a week before my Ex and I got together that we were pseudo-porn sharing on FB.  I mean, we got that weird with each other. So who the fuck knows?
And speaking of Porn Sharing, I was starting to think that my time with the Significant Party of the Significant Couple was a one-time only.  But nah, man.  For the past 2 nights we’ve been giving each other attention of the stimulating variety, and it was more than appreciated on my end.  I’m still so grateful to have that person in my life.  Lately I’ve been a moody shit, and it pleases me that they get it.  I’ve certainly been there for them.  So I like that they can handle me when I’m not at my best.  And I certainly don’t take it out on them.  Instead this is a very chill, ‘there when ya need me’ kind of relationship.  I’m really getting used to it, and it hasn’t gotten weird at all with the other person in the Significant Party.
It’s almost needless to talk about why I’ve been Moody.  It’s literally everything, dude.  Navigating the aftermath of this Relationship bothers me.  I’m over it.  I’m getting over it.  But I’m not fully out of it yet.  What I mean is, my stuff is still there.  Not all of it.  Just the tough stuff, like my furniture.  So I need to eventually get it out of there.
But that can’t happen until my place is ready.  Of which it isn’t yet.  Almost, but not quite.  Estimated time is 3/31-4/3.  If I’ve given any updates, the carpets were installed on 3/23, which is a miracle, because by then, Covid had really kicked in, forcing all non-essential businesses to close.  So I’m really grateful for that.  But now my Landlord has this whole other laundry list of things he wanted to do.  Too many to list.  So I’ll just leave it with, best case, it’s ready on Tuesday the 31st, or Friday the 3rd.  That’s really not terrible at all.
My next move was gonna be to get my friends to help me get this furniture in there.  I was gonna rent a UHaul truck and just knock it out in one day.  Apparently they’re still open.  But none of my friends budged.  Covid is really shutting ALL of them in.  Even my toughest and closest friends who promised to help. Of course I’m annoyed, but I get it.  This is Literally the worst time to move.
And now of course, since deleting the FB pictures, my Ex got really upset and changed the nicknames on our chat.  I knew it was gonna happen eventually, but now she’s no longer Darling Love and the heart emoji is just a thumbs up again.  When she made the change, I gave her a thumbs up and she said nothing.  Today when I tried to talk business, she was super short, but said sure, about coming over tomorrow.  I was gonna take measurements and my TV stand to start this furniture process.  Instead, she wants to do the measurements herself, which is fine, but since I noticed the aggression, I asked if we were okay, and she let on that she was pissed about me deleting the FB pictures.  I had saved them all in a folder on Dropbox and given them to her.  They are on my computer as well.  But I don’t think she cares about that.  I think it’s more the fact that I did it without warning or consulting her about it?  Which in a way is none of her business, because it’s my profile and I need to be comfortable with the content I have on there. On the other hand, it may seem like I’m trying to erase the last 5 years of my life, but I’m honestly not.  I just... can’t look at them anymore.  Not on Facebook.  But in my own folder, I will.  In my own time, if I want to.  This is the stuff she doesn’t want to talk about.  She wants her space.  And she really doesn’t want to see me this weekend.  So she won’t.
Doesn’t change the fact that I need my TV Stand.  And the rest of my furniture.  But as her replacement one hasn’t come in yet and my place isn’t ready yet, we can push that back for another week.  Her replacement TV stand should come in on 4/3, which is the latest my place will be ready, possibly.
So now I have some things to mull over.  But definitely it seems like whatever I do, my next move is gonna involve getting Movers to help me with this stuff, if any are in operation right now. My friends would absolutely help, but Covid... I honestly expect the same answer from any of the Movers.  And if that’s the case, I’m gonna be pissed, because then I truly am stuck...
But then, considering this new information about how my Job is truly going in the shitter now?...  Maybe stuck with my parents is exactly where I need to be at the moment...  I’m gonna be without insurance now, for who knows how fucking long.
I have money...  I can afford my meds.  But God damn, does that suck.
So yeah...  This is a really fucked up time.  So it was time for an update.
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lethaderr-blog · 5 years
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We stayed at two stunning hotels in Glencoe Scotland.
Not only is Glencoe the most scenic and famous glen in Scotland, it was also recently voted the most romantic one in the country. It’s only fitting to stay at idyllic hotels that are as much a part of this fairy tale landscape as the mountains themselves. Justin and I split our nights between two hotels in Glencoe Scotland: the Ballachulish Hotel and the brand new Kingshouse Hotel.
Both hotels offer different yet equally luxurious experiences. I’ll describe our stay at both hotels and you can choose where to stay in Glencoe. However, you might decide to split your time between both hotels like we did for two unique overnight stays. No matter what you decide, you’ll be guaranteed a restful night’s sleep in one of the most beautiful regions of the world.
GLENCOE TRAVEL GUIDE
GETTING AROUND GLENCOE: The best way to travel around Glencoe and the Scottish Highlands is renting your own car and seeing it on your own. You can also get around on your own two feet with epic hikes and walks around this spectacular region.
THINGS TO DO IN GLENCOE: Coming soon! In the meantime, check out the rest of our Scotland blog posts.
PHOTOS OF GLENCOE: Check out our entire photo album of pictures from Glencoe to inspire your trip. You can also purchase prints, housewares, and all sorts of gifts made from any of our photos – just click the “buy” button on any picture.
Ballachulish Hotel
The Ballachulish Hotel (pronounced Ba-la-hoo-lish) has welcomed guests since 1877. This historic home is the perfect base for exploring Glencoe and Fort William. It’s just outside of the village of Glencoe on the shores of Loch Linnie, with brilliant views of the hills of Glencoe. Once we checked in at the front desk, we drifted up the grand staircase to our room. I couldn’t help but wonder about the guests over the last century and beyond who have wandered up this very same set of stairs to their room. Were they experiencing the beauty of the Scottish Highlands for the first time, just like us?
Our Room
It was easy to feel as though we’d been transported back in time at the Ballachulish Hotel. Our “feature room” was filled with antique furnishings, as well as rich, bold patterns. It’s easy to see how this is one of the best hotels in Glencoe Scotland.
While each room has its own individual character, we adored ours at the front of the home. With multiple windows from two sides of the room, we had glorious views of the surrounding scenery. It was a beautiful day outside. The waters of Loch Linnie twinkled, boats drifted beneath the Ballachulish Bridge, and the flags of Scotland outside our room flapped in the breeze. We highly recommend booking one of the feature rooms for the view alone.
As much as the room reminded us of times long ago, it had tons of modern amenities, too. There’s a flatscreen TV set with many satellite channels, complimentary Wi-Fi throughout the hotel, and plenty of tea and coffee to start the day right. Our bathroom had a large bathtub with a shower, and it was quite spacious. 
The Restaurant
Once we reached Ballachulish Hotel after a day of adventures, we didn’t have to leave. With a restaurant right on site, the Bulas Bar & Bistro, you don’t have to go anywhere. There are vegetarian and vegan items marked right on the menu, although the chef came out to help determine the meals that we could have.
We started with the Slow Roast Mushroom and Rosemary Pate (grilled courgette, pickled tomato, sourdough crouton) and an order of artisan bread with lemon rapeseed oil. For the main course, we ordered the beetroot and quinoa burger, without a bun. They’re currently trying to source a vegan bun (right now it’s vegetarian – a brioche bun). The patty was super delicious and topped with onion jam, and it came with a side of sweet potato fries. There was even a vegan dessert on the menu, a raspberry tart with vegan ice cream (just request for the ice cream to be vegan!).
Aside from the food, one of the best aspects of dining at the Ballachulish Hotel’s restaurant was the view from the dining room window. We watched the sun go down as we ate dinner. The sky turned brilliant shades of orange, red, and eventually pastel pink and purple.
In the morning, all guests can enjoy a complimentary breakfast spread. It’s a classic Scottish breakfast, so I ate some toast, fruit, and baked beans. It was super delicious. And of course, there was a large pot of coffee to savor and enjoy!
Amenities
Guests of the Ballachulish Hotel can take a short drive down the road to their sister hotel, the Isles of Glencoe, to enjoy the swimming pool, sauna, and jacuzzi. While we didn’t take the advantage of the swimming facilities, be sure to pack your swimsuit so you can fully relax and unwind there. 
Ballachulish Hotel is one of the hotels in Glencoe Scotland that happens to be dog-friendly. If you’re traveling around with your best buddy, there’s just a small fee. Your pup is welcome in all the public spaces too, except for the bar and restaurant. Didn’t bring a pet along with you on this trip? You might have the chance to meet the hotel’s friendly cat, Diego!
Justin and I thoroughly loved our stay at the Ballachulish Hotel, making it one of the best places to stay in Glencoe. If you’re looking for an amazing Glencoe accommodation, look no further. From the warm welcome upon our arrival to the comfortable room and delicious food, we highly recommend that you stay at the Ballachulish Hotel. Book your stay at the Ballachulish Hotel, and read more reviews of this wonderful hotel.
The next day, we went on some adventures around Glencoe and Fort William. The two of us moved on to our next accommodation in Glencoe, the Kingshouse Hotel.
Kingshouse Hotel
For another brilliant choice of hotels in Glencoe Scotland, consider booking your stay at the Kingshouse Hotel. You’ll find the Kingshouse Hotel in the remote eastern end of Glencoe near the road towards Glen Etive. It’s one of the oldest hotels in Scotland, dating back to the 1750s. In fact, after the aftermath of the Jacobite Rising of 1745, the inn was used by the British Army (hence its name, the Kingshouse).
Recently, there were some massive renovations to the Kingshouse Hotel, tearing down an addition from the 1960s and adding a huge modern expansion and refurbishment. The original Kingshouse building from the 1750s was kept and restored. It remains as “The Way Inn”, a traditional pub for walkers and climbers in the area (as well as hotel guests) as a place to relax and recharge.
The Kingshouse Hotel recently opened in 2019 after these brand new and modern renovations, and we were among some of the first guests to stay at this brand new hotel. Walking into the hotel, we were immediately wowed by the modern and pristine design. Even though there was a grand entrance and foyer, some cozy elements to this space remain, like fireplaces and bookshelves full of books.
Our Room
Our standard room was very cozy and updated to every modern standard. There was a flatscreen TV with many satellite channels, complimentary Wi-Fi, USB outlets (and standard outlets) by the bed, a spacious desk to work at, and brilliant views of the rolling hills from our window. At the desk, you’ll find a kettle with complimentary coffee and tea. If you’d like some espresso or a fancier beverage, you can easily pop down to the Kingshouse Bar or The Way Inn pub.
In addition to a king-sized bed, there was also a sofa bed. This can be used as a couch or an additional space for two more people to sleep. This room is perfect for families with children or even if you are traveling as two couples. If you’ve gone hiking in the rain or mud, you can also use the hotel’s storage and drying room.
The bathroom was very clean, spacious, and modern. There was ample space on the counter for all of our toiletries and belongings. Our bathroom had a bathtub and a shower.
The Restaurant
We dined at the Kingshouse Restaurant, which was nothing short of spectacular. The massive windows allowed for picturesque views of the mountains as we dined that evening. The menu has a good amount of vegetarian and vegan choices, which are clearly marked. While there wasn’t a vegan entree, the chef easily adapted a vegetarian one for us. 
We ordered the Wild Mushroom and Thyme Pate (with celeriac and horseradish relish and beetroot crisps) to start, and the Root Vegetable and Barley Risotto (with roasted garlic and parsley dressing) as the main course. 
If you’re looking for a drink or a light meal, head to the Kingshouse Bar. There are an assortment of veg-friendly dishes, like hummus, a cauliflower curry, and a quinoa burger. You can even bring your dog to this area of the hotel. 
After dinner, Justin and I wandered down the hall to the Way Inn for a beer. There was such a charming atmosphere where old meets new. They maintained the classic features of the building’s structure and style, adding a modern wooden bar as the center piece. I loved how some of the tables were wooden barrels surrounded by glass.
In the morning, there was a buffet breakfast for all guests of the hotel, featuring all elements of a traditional Scottish breakfast. I happily munched on the veggie offerings of toast, baked beans, fruit, and plenty of coffee.
Amenities
In addition to the Kingshouse Hotel, there’s also the Bunkhouse for hikers and backpackers visiting the region. For a low price, you can book a bunk bed in a shared space, with access to shower facilities and the pub. You can also book the buffet breakfast at the hotel for an additional small fee.
There are wild deer living around the property as the hotel is right in the middle of glorious nature. They recommend that you view the deer from afar and please do not feed them. We saw one of the deer as we were leaving the Kingshouse Hotel in the morning, as if the deer were bidding us farewell. Be sure to read more reviews from fellow travellers for even more insights.
PLANNING A TRIP TO SCOTLAND?
Book your rental car, train tickets, or a small group tour with Rabbie’s.
Browse tours and excursions around the country for fun day trips.
Don’t forget to pack your rain jacket and umbrella!
Research even more with Scotland guide books to help plan your holidays.
Read the rest of my Scotland blog posts for the best trip ever.
So, there you have it: two beautiful hotels in Glencoe Scotland where we loved resting our heads at night. We weren’t able to pick a favorite hotel, so don’t make us choose! The Ballachulish Hotel was very elegant and contained many stylish antiques, with spectacular views of Loch Linnie and the rolling hills. Alternatively, the Kingshouse Hotel was brand new and modern, while retaining some elements of its heritage and beautiful scenery of the mountains. No matter which hotel you choose, you’re bound to have an exciting and memorable stay.
Thank you so much to the Crieff Hydro Family of Hotels for inviting us to stay at your properties. We had such a wonderful stay and highly recommend your hotels to all travelers to Glencoe and the Scottish Highlands.
PIN one of the above images to Pinterest for future reference. Click the top left corner.
Have you ever traveled to Glencoe, Scotland?
The post Two Luxurious Hotels in Glencoe Scotland Where You’ll Love to Rest Your Head at Night appeared first on Justin Plus Lauren.
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evil--isnt--born · 7 years
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Bleeding Hearts
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Summary: Emma Swan has spent a decade killing the soulmates of those willing to pay for immortality, but being suddenly given a partner makes her question whether her life is now the one on the line -- either at the hands of her uncompromising boss, or at the hands of a stranger magic altogether.
also on ff.net and ao3
Big thanks to @nowforruin for stepping up to the plate on a rather last minute beta job (my fault) and for the excellent suggestions that got this where it needed to be.
I think I’d need another 18k to adequately describe how grateful I am to have @nightships in my life, but in the absence of that, let me just say that it has been an utter treat to get to write something for such a wonderful friend, talented writer, and birthday twin. Thank you for inspiring me on the daily to be a better writer and overall human being, and for giving me a reason to write about romance and murder. Happy Birthmas 2.0, fandom soulmate. I promise not to kill you.
The worst part was that they always looked happy.
Even through the scope of her gun, and even alone without their soulmates beside them, her targets all had that same sense of peace and belonging that practically made their skin glow from the inside out. If she caught herself at the right moment she could use that, sink deep into the part of herself that didn’t believe in love or happy endings, and breathe in bitterness until what she had to do became bearable.
Either that, or she reminded herself of everything that was at stake -- and of how far the man she worked for was willing to go to keep her locked in this bargain of theirs -- and did it.
She took a breath and focused on her target, let everything around her fall away until the wind whipping across the rooftop was nothing more than white noise, and the insistent twinge deep in her chest that she shouldn’t be doing this could be ignored.
She squeezed the trigger and of course she hit her mark -- one hit between the eyes, quick and clean and as painless as a shot to the head could ever be. She didn’t stick around to watch the aftermath, swiftly disassembling the long gun and packing it into the false back of an unremarkable backpack with practiced ease. She was off the roof in minutes, out the back door of the building, onto a side street, and walking calmly away from the scene as though she didn’t know what was unfolding on the other side of the building, as if she had had no part in it whatsoever.
It was a cold comfort, as she walked away with no one the wiser, to know that Emma Swan was very, very good at what she did.
-------
“Put it on the board,” Emma said, stopping unceremoniously in front of a large, carved wooden desk and staring down the short man seated behind it. “It’s done. Come on.”
“Impatient, aren’t we?” The look he gave her was all flat lips and hard eyes, stern words she knew too well sitting just behind them, but he stood nonetheless, leading the way to a large chalkboard taking up the entirety of one wall. It was full of numbers, a cryptic but extraordinarily detailed log of every deal he had ever made with people like her, and of how long he owned them for. He stopped by one numbered row -- not the first on the list by a long shot, but one Emma knew well. Her number, her row, her kill count, her debt written in clear numbers that he rubbed out and then rewrote, the figure dropping by nowhere near enough. But it would do for now. It had to. “Happy, dearie?”
“Thrilled.” She took the second warning glance without comment and followed him back to the desk, lingering without taking her eyes off him until he slid open the top drawer and tossed two plain white envelopes on the surface between them. She grabbed them both, nodding once in a warped version of respect before turning and striding from the room in the direction of the elevator without another word from him. Without glancing back she knew he wasn’t even looking at her, their business done. He had always kept things brief and only said what he needed to -- it was perhaps the only thing she liked about Robert Gold.
She stuffed the envelopes in her back pocket as she crossed the office building’s expansive and ridiculous marble lobby to exit onto a bustling street. For so long she had paused just outside the door of this beautiful building and wondered how the people who came through it every day, the occupants of every other office, even the people walking by on the street, could stay so ignorant of the man who took up the very top floor and the kind of business he dealt in. But she had been in it too long now to marvel at Gold’s low profile, so she simply melted into the crowd without a backwards glance as she made her way home.
-------
Emma waited until she was full of microwaved macaroni and cheese and three glasses deep in a bottle of wine before snatching the two envelopes from where she had dropped them on the coffee table an hour earlier. She opened the easy one first, the one fat with her cut of the last job, the percentage that didn’t go towards repaying everything Gold told her she owed him. The prices he charged for his services -- her services -- were exorbitant, but they were no more than a sliver of the price he put on lives that needed saving. So while she only took a slim cut of everything she brought in and lived in a glorified closet in a part of town that wouldn’t have been safe if she didn’t have a small armoury hidden under her bed, she was still so indebted she could barely see the end of it even if she did have several lifetimes to get there.
She had worked for Gold for the last decade, but his business had been going on longer than she’d been alive. Everyone in the world had a soulmate, and she didn’t know how or why, but somehow the universe had seen fit to make it so that everyone found that soulmate eventually, no matter how many years it took. You froze at twenty, stopped aging for ten or twenty or a hundred years until you found the person meant for you, and started aging alongside them so you could grow old together. In theory, it was beautiful. In practice, it meant that people like Gold could charge a premium to whoever was willing to pay to take out their soulmates, stall their aging again, and live on until the universe presented them with another meant-to-be. And then do the same thing again and again and again, immortal until they ran out of money.
The second of the two envelopes was harder, it always was, and as Emma opened the flap she thought that she should have finished the bottle of wine before diving into this one. Sometimes she dreamed of taking a break like she knew some of the others did, doing one job and taking her cut and disappearing for a month before coming back for another, remembering what being a person felt like instead of just being a gun for hire. But then she thought about that figure on the board, the dent she barely made in it even doing jobs back to back year after year, and remembered why she didn’t get days off. It had been her own naivety that had gotten her here, and she would bear the cost of it for however long it took.
She upended the envelope with a sigh, two photos and a folded sheet of paper falling out onto the couch. She ignored the letter because the basic target details were always the same, but the photos caught her eye. It wasn’t often that she got two targets at once, but it had happened before and it usually meant that the hit was even more personal than usual -- a key to immortality and a giant Fuck You to the couple all at once. It also meant that the price was higher and therefore her cut was higher, so while she hated jobs on couples, it wasn’t one she could turn down.
The first photo was of a woman, dark haired with the beginnings of laugh lines around her eyes. Emma swallowed heavily -- the ones who had aged were always harder. Somehow, knowing they’d had love long enough for it to show on their faces made taking it away hurt more even though the endgame was always the same. She picked up the second photo reluctantly, but when she saw the man, she had to look three times before she allowed herself to believe what she was looking at.
He was young. Or looked it, at least. The woman looked thirty, but the man looked twenty. Unless this woman had found and lost an earlier version of her soulmate before meeting the man in the picture, he wasn’t hers, and she wasn’t his. So why...
Emma opened the letter quickly, but all she saw were the usual details, except --
It didn’t make any sense, but there were only details for one of the people. For the woman. Emma flipped the letter over but the back was blank, so she flipped over the woman’s photo. Her first hint that something was well and truly off was that Gold’s writing spelled out Your Target on the back.
What cemented it was the scrawl on the back of the man’s photo: a time and date two days away, a location, and the words Your Partner.
-------
When Emma had been young and stupid, she had thought that soulmate magic would make everyone happy, getting to stick around until you found the person meant for you and getting to live the rest of your life together. But it took maybe a month of working for Gold for her to realize how much people were willing to pay to take their soulmates out of the picture, to get to live forever on a loophole the universe had unknowingly given them. She saw them all: the men who looked young but had money built up over decades paying to wipe out the soulmate they had just found; the forty- and fifty- and sixty-year old women who aged a little more every time soulmate after soulmate crossed their path, and who kept paying to make soulmate after soulmate disappear; and the classic vindictive hits on men and women alike who were unfortunate enough to be not-meant-to-be with a person who couldn’t handle the truth. They all paid for hits, and Emma carried them all out without argument, but always alone.
Except for once.
She’d had a partner once, another one of Gold’s people he had paired her with early in her tenure on a hit that was too big to trust her with alone. Or so he had said. She had worked with Neal on half a dozen hits before the big one, and she actually had been twenty then, and stupid. So, so stupid to believe that a good working relationship meant something more, that even though she wasn’t aging there was something between them. And he had led her on, let her believe she was someone to him, danced his fingers along her skin while they waited for clear shots and opportunities, and whispered things into her ear that she wanted to cut his tongue out for when she thought of them now. Despite the undeniable existence of soulmates, she had never really believed in love, at least not for herself, but he had gotten her closer to believing. Until the night he had pulled out a handgun on a hit and pressed it to her temple, told her it had been a test of her instincts and that she -- fatally -- hadn’t even seen it coming. It stung more than she let herself remember even now, but though she hadn’t said a word back, the quick draw of her own weapon and survival-driven, hesitationless shot told him clearly enough that he was an asshole, and he had been wrong about her.
It was that memory that had her sitting in a booth tucked in the corner of a nondescript bar half an hour before she was supposed to meet this supposed partner, two guns and a knife tucked away underneath her red leather jacket. Carrying around weapons was usually too much of a liability to bother with outside of hits, but she could still feel the ghost of warm fingers dancing across her skin, betrayal trailing in their wake. If this partner tried to lay as much as a gentle finger on her, if she caught a bare whiff of a trap, she was going to cut off his hand.
The door of the bar blew open with a gust of cool evening air, and with it came her partner. She recognized him instantly, the dark hair and sharp jawline, the swagger that fit perfectly with assassin. His eyes swept the bar efficiently, settling on her quickly. He strode over without hesitation, sliding into the seat opposite her and saying without preamble, “You’re early.”
This close, only feet away from her in a leather jacket and jeans, he looked dangerous and God, hot. But she didn’t let any of that show, simply arching an eyebrow.
“Do I know you?” she asked, eliciting a chuckle from him.
“You can save the act, but I like the poker face.” He leaned in closer, flashing a charming, painfully curated smile. “Nobody sits in the back booths of bars except for murderers and adulterers. Alas, I’m the only man here worth adulturing with, and I just arrived. Also…” He reached into his jacket pocket and slapped a familiar square of paper on the table, turning it around so she could see her own face smiling back at her. A picture she didn’t doubt had Gold’s writing on the back of it the same as the picture of him she had in her pocket. “I know your face.”
She fought a grimace at the picture. It was an old shot that had been taken before she had started working for Gold, and though her face hadn’t changed, there was something in her eyes that the past decade had erased. She hated that this was his first impression of her, but she bit back her frustration and just levelled him a frank and serious look.
“Who the hell are you?” she asked, because his photo had been his face, Gold’s writing, and nothing else. She had tried to find out who he was, of course, but had come up against the endless walls of nothing she knew he would have encountered if he looked into her, too. The sheer lack of any trace was a calling card for Gold’s people, but that didn’t mean much -- a lot of people worked for Gold, and this man’s employer was the least of Emma’s concerns.
“Your partner,” he said with a wicked twist of a smile. She had to roll her eyes at that, the self-satisfied grin and the knowing glint in his eyes that said you should be impressed.
“I’m not giving out gold stars for information I already know.”
“Good thing, because I like a challenge.” His eyes sparkled, and he held her gaze even as he pointed to her drink and held up one finger to the bartender. “What’s your name, Challenge?”
“Oh, as if,” she shot back, fighting the urge to roll her eyes a second time. “I got here first. You tell me yours.”
“We’re going to get to know each other eventually if we’re to work together. Why delay the inevitable?”
She just arched a brow and let the hypocrisy sink in for a moment. His eyes were still locked with hers, a hint of a challenge there, and she almost wanted him to start something -- wanted him to test her and see just how little she was willing to compromise.
After a long moment, though, he dropped his gaze to the table with a frustrated sigh, and her lips curled in a smile.
“Killian Jones,” he said, holding a hand across the table. She didn’t know him, but she hadn’t expected to. “At your service. Now you.”
“You don’t waste any time,” she muttered, ignoring his hand and taking a sip of her drink. His eyes tracked the movement, navy blue with something simmering beneath the surface that warned against teasing him, warned against stalling when he had kept up his end of the bargain. She could see how he and Gold, who was a stickler for a deal if he was anything, got along. But she supposed he had been a good sport, so she caught his gaze when she set her glass down and nodded once in lieu of the handshake. “Emma.”
“Emma what?”
She just shrugged and bit back a grin at the muscle jumping in his jaw and the frustration plain on his face. They had a target to discuss, and she didn’t make it a habit of being seen anywhere with any of Gold’s people for longer than was ever necessary, so she really shouldn’t have been wasting her time baiting him. But it was so, so easy to get under his skin, and if he was angry maybe he would be less careful with his words. Maybe he would admit what she already knew -- that partner jobs were never a reality unless they were traps for one half of the team. Since that first time, she had never stopped looking for the next test, and if Gold thought that blue eyes and a leather jacket would disguise it when it came, he didn’t know her well at all.
Killian had just opened his mouth to reply when the waitress came by with his drink. A pleasant smile slid onto his face so fast Emma would have almost forgotten his stormy expression from moments ago if she didn't know as well as he did the value of a good cover. The charming grin was so natural, though, and fit his features so perfectly that despite herself, Emma almost forgot how false even the best covers were. He busied himself with his drink while the woman walked away and Emma fell into the routine too, sipping her own drink and then launching into the start of a story about a fake pair of mutual friends until there was nobody in earshot. Before she could cut herself off, Killian did it for her, leaning in slightly and pulling her focus back to him, to the discussion that nobody in this bar would believe they were having even if they overheard it themselves.
“If you’re not going to work with me,” he said quietly, “then that’s up to you. But let me tell you something about Gold: if you screw up this hit because you want it to be the Emma show, he will end you. And me. And I’m not about to let that happen just because you refuse to cooperate. Is that clear?”
For a second she was frozen, just staring at him in disbelief because...no. No, he was not sitting here trying to educate her on what Gold was and wasn’t willing to do to them. No, he was not telling her she was the only reason they would fail. Her blood turned cold in her veins, and she could feel her expression turn a precise sort of calm that only looked calm until it was on top of you.
“Let me,” she said, voice even quieter than his, "tell you about Gold. He doesn’t do partners. Not ever. Not unless he thinks someone,” and at this she looked very pointedly at Killian, “isn’t doing their job, or isn’t doing it right, or is becoming too much of a liability to trust alone. He only assigns partners to walk someone to a six foot hole in the ground.”
“And how do you know I’m not the one walking you?”
“Oh please.” It was almost laughable to think Gold would give her that much of a chance. Yes, Killian was probably a test of her performance or her loyalty, but he wasn't an escort to her own death. Especially after the last time, Gold knew better than that. And so did Emma. "If that was his game, I'd already be dead."
Killian's gaze turned sharp, and tellingly so. He clearly knew Gold well enough to not only think he could school Emma on the man, but also to know how little Gold liked losing investments. Investments in people -- in trained killers -- most of all. Emma knew he could hear the certainty in her voice, though, and was smart enough to know that there was a history behind it to make her so sure that the rules which applied to everyone else didn't apply to her. She was Gold's biggest liability, and investment or not, it was no surprise how far he'd go to keep her from becoming a problem.
"Have you considered," Killian said finally, "that he has reasons for assigning partner hits he's just not told any of us about? That she" -- the target Emma assumed he had gotten the same information about as she had -- "is just particularly important? Or dangerous?"
She wondered who Killian was, that he could believe such a thing of their boss who he had to know was never as up front as he seemed.
"If you believe that," Emma said more gently than she would have thought possible, "then I can see why he's paired us up."
Killian put it all together instantly, her words and what she had already said about death, her certainty that she wasn't the one on the chopping block. He scowled at her and slapped a second photo on the table, shielding it casually with a leather-clad arm from any potential roving eyes. She was surprised he didn't walk away, but if he was a professional, she supposed worse things had put that storm in his eyes than just her saying something he already knew.
"How about we just work," he said. "We've a little over two weeks from the information I received, presuming you don't bite my head off first."
"Work it is." She ignored the biting comment for now, simply relieved that they were finally getting to the thing she was good at. What he said was exactly in line with the information that had accompanied the photo she had been given, and even though it sounded long, in their line of work two weeks was nothing at all. "Tell me what you know."
-------
What he knew ended up being exactly what she knew, which was not much. Emma wasn’t sure whether it was a coincidence or whether their target actually was someone -- or whether a thoroughly anonymous target was part of whatever Gold was trying to achieve with this partnership. She and Killian had spent an hour nursing drinks and figuring out what ground had been covered already, and though they had apparently looked into the same things and asked the same questions, they had both come up with the same nothing. So he had proposed a stakeout the next night -- proposed it right as she had opened her mouth to do the same, and she contemplated pinning his hand to the table with a straw through the palm because he gave her the cockiest smirk.
He left first, and she could see his profession in the lines of his body as he slipped smoothly between people at the bar. He had that same look on his face, though, as he pivoted to face her one last time before disappearing out the door, and she only put it all together when she lifted a coaster to wedge a bill underneath to cover her drinks and realized he already had.
Bastard.
Emma had agreed to the stakeout because it made sense, but nothing about this supposed partnership said she couldn’t get ahead in the meantime. The information Gold had given them both about their target had included a home address, and being parked in front of it for the last hour with no sign of the woman had given Emma a lot of time to stew about her so-called partner. Between the smirk and the leather and the eyes that said to forget everything else, between the cocky way he had introduced himself and the better-than-you certainty with which he had tried to educate her about a man she knew all too well, Killian Jones was trouble, and Emma knew it. But what she didn’t know, despite an entire evening and the last hour thinking about it, was what Gold was after with the man. Emma hadn’t been lying -- if Gold had any reason not to trust her, she’d already be gone. But if it was a capability problem he was getting at, she was going to make him eat his words. Thoughts. Whatever. She would figure out who this woman was, finish the job, and take the entire cut for herself before this Killian Jones got off his ass and bothered to come to work. And then she’d shoot the same knowing smirk back at the partner she didn’t need and let him meet whatever end Gold had planned alone.
Assassinations weren’t a team sport, and she wasn’t about to let them become one.
A red car rolled around the corner, slowing as it approached the house, and Emma sat up straighter. She could just make out the target behind the wheel, hands tapping casually on the curve of it. Even from afar, the woman looked nice -- exactly the kind of woman who didn’t really deserve to be killed. That was nothing new, though -- most of the people whose photos she got in those envelopes didn’t deserve what they got, either.
She had cared more about that at the start, but ten years was a long time to build walls between her better judgement and the necessary evil of her work.
The woman was just about to exit the car when Emma’s passenger door creaked open and the car dipped as another figure slid into the seat beside her. Even before she turned toward the person in the grey hoodie, she had a small knife in hand, palmed from where it always lived in the side pocket of her door, and bound for the intruder’s neck. But he -- it had to be a he by the way he filled out the seat -- was fast, too, and had a hand on her wrist with the tip of her blade inches from his skin.
“That’s not,” he said, drawing his hood down with his free hand, “any way to treat your partner.”
“Get out of my car,” she snapped, not bothering to drop her hand as she turned back to the woman’s house. The entire exchange between her and Killian had been moments-long so the woman was, luckily, still in the driveway -- lucky for Killian because if he had screwed this up for her, she would have left him in the gutter with her knife in his neck, partnership or not.
“I’d only draw more attention to us, not that this car does much by way of blending in.” He forced her hand down to the centre console between them, and she let it happen, if only because two people fighting over a weapon in a parked car really would have caused a scene.
“I don’t remember asking you to weigh in on my car; in fact, I don’t remember asking you to be here at all.”
“I like to think I’m thorough,” he said, leaning over slightly to look out her window as the woman started unloading bags from her trunk. “Besides, if you’re not going to invite me to do recon, I’m going to have to find you myself.”
“Were you following me?”  
“Don’t flatter yourself, love. I’ve better things to do with my time than trail a second-rate assassin.” He ignored the rage sweeping over her face and nodded out the window to the woman. “I’ve been following her.”
“And what the hell do you think it is I’m doing here?” she asked sharply.
“A lot of sitting, by the looks of it.” He squeezed her wrist in a bone-crushing grip until she dropped the knife between them, and while she thought about picking it back up, she settled for glaring at him and leaving it where it was. “And I found out where she works. What do you have to show for this little lounge-fest of yours?”
She ignored the barb for the moment in lieu of the other piece of information he’d let drop. “You did not,” she said flatly. She was really starting to hate this guy. “Where?”
“You know that bookshop cafe down the street from the office? Percolate & Parchment?” He paused a moment for her to catch up, picking absently at the woven strands of the shelf beneath her dash. “She works there. Barista, though when I went in she seemed more interested in selling me a book than making a cappuccino.”
“You went in?” Emma regarded him skeptically, but the faintly red tips of his ears gave away the truth of his statement. Gold had rules about interacting with targets -- ideally never, practically only when necessary if the target was big enough, if the hit was important. Emma herself had never actually met a target in person, even on big hits, and it had never been an issue.
Second-rate assassin my ass.
“Well, if it’s as I say and she’s important, then we should use whatever means available to understand who she is and how best to carry out the hit.” His eyes flashed away from hers for only a moment, but it struck her as off and then instantly she knew -- knew that behind the cocky grin and the uncompromising confidence was something a little more vulnerable, a little more human. And, more than that, it was something he didn’t want her to see. “And if it’s as you say,” he continued, “and my head’s on the line, what do I care what I do to get the job done?”
“Practical,” she said drily, turning back to look out the window to hide the softening she could already feel around her eyes, because his voice just then had sounded different than she ever would have expected from him. It sounded like late nights in empty cars and on cold, windy rooftops, like being alone with your thoughts so long you forgot there was ever anything else; like being on edge frequently enough that you stopped caring what happened. It sounded uncomfortably familiar, and she wasn’t about to let that take the divide between them and turn it into something murky and complicated.
The woman was just closing the trunk, her bags lined up neatly on the front porch of the house. She looked so civilized doing it that Emma had to wonder who had called the hit. She never met the people who hired her, but Gold usually put it on the information sheet that accompanied the target photos. Once the surprise of Killian had worn off the night she got the assignment, Emma had gone back to the sheet, but it was strangely empty this time around. No name, no profession, no hire details -- just this address and the deadline for the hit. It was almost sloppy in its lack of detail, but Emma knew better than to question Gold. She had known it even longer than she had been working for the man, long enough that the knowledge was in her bones.
And she had always been resourceful.
“What’s her name?” she found herself asking regardless, eyes still on the woman. She didn’t want to ask Killian, didn’t want to admit in doing it that she still didn’t know for herself, but he was here, and if he had met their target he probably knew. More than that, Emma needed the connection. It felt too invasive to sit here planning the end of a person she didn’t know even at the most basic level. Even if the hits had lost their edge over the years, she still needed to hold the names of her targets in her mind, the details of who they were and what they did and why they were at the wrong end of her gun. It didn’t make it better, but it made it feel...right -- right that she would carry these pieces of the people she took away with her for the rest of her immortal life, right that their memory would die the same way she eventually would, at the hand of the man who had ensnared them all in this in the first place.
“Belle,” he said quietly, gravely, like he knew why she had asked. Emma nodded once, turning the name over in her head, adding it to the paltry collection of details. Killian didn’t say anything for several long minutes, the two of them watching out of Emma’s window as Belle moved everything inside, and then for a few moments after until Killian said, “We could do it now, you know. We’re both here, it’s quiet, and if you didn’t see anyone since you’ve been here she’s probably alone. It’s a good opportunity.”
“We don’t know anything about her,” Emma protested. She was well aware that days of recon and stakeouts were not crucial components of a hit, and that they probably weren’t business as usual for him the same way they were for her, but the idea of doing the job and leaving while their target was still a stranger...
“I know, but when are we going to get a chance like this again?” He glanced in the back seat, but he wouldn’t find what he was looking for back there. “Do you have…”
“We could make it work,” she said, thinking of the knives hidden all around the car and the gun she had tucked away well within reach. It wasn’t her usual long-range rifle, but it would do if it had to.
“Are we going to?”
She held back what wanted to be a trailing sentence, a formless I… out in the air, because she knew what made sense. Yes made sense, yes was practical, yes was what a decade of this life told her she should say. But there was the fact that they still knew next to nothing about Belle except for her name and where to find her, and then there was the one thing that probably did make her a second rate assassin.
“Not now,” Emma said finally. “Not here.”
She could feel Killian’s gaze on her for a long moment, but just as she thought he was going to argue, he leaned back in his seat with a definitive nod and said, “Okay.”
She didn’t let her surprise show as she mirrored his nod in response, and didn’t waste any time putting the car in gear and pulling away from the house. She felt a pressure on her chest slowly ease as they turned onto the main road and out of Belle’s neighbourhood, the image that had been running through her mind slowly fading. It was a beautiful neighbourhood, and in the time she had been parked, she had seen two young families and several more yards with colourful toys that provided undeniable evidence of more. She pictured the lives these families probably had, careless and happy like she had dreamed of all through her childhood, and she couldn’t shake the image of one of those kids finding the body, of the stain her work would leave on the neighbourhood. She took lives, yes, but she drew the line at taking from children the peace and certainty and childhood she had never had.
“You can drop me off anywhere,” Killian said quietly beside her, and she clenched her teeth as she realized she had almost forgotten he was still in the car.
“Did you park somewhere downtown?”
“Took the bus.” He shot her a twist of a smile, the familiar smugness returning. “Your target knowing what you drive is just asking for trouble.”
“Only if you get noticed, which wouldn’t happen if you were any good,” she shot back, a wicked grin curling in return. “Where do you live? I’ll drop you off.”
“Nice try, love.” An eyebrow drifted up to his hairline, and she had to offer him a nod in concession. “You tried to stab me not fifteen minutes ago. You’re not getting within a hundred yards of my house.”
“Congratulations. You just passed Assassin 101.” She rolled her eyes but her grin didn’t fade. “I’m not just driving around with you for the rest of the afternoon. Tell me where to go, or I’m dropping you on a street corner.”
“Street corner’s fine.” He gestured in the general direction they were headed. “You know that grocery store on the corner of East and Pine? That’d be great.”
“What, you hitting a bag boy next?”
“No, but I do plan on putting an end to a frozen pizza later this evening.” God, he was quick. If he had been anyone else, she might have laughed at the quip. But he wasn’t, so she settled on keeping that twist of a smile for the next three blocks.
He didn’t immediately leave when she pulled into a parking spot at the store, instead pulling a hand up and through his hair and turning to her with a measure of hesitation in his expression.
“Give me your number,” he said. Now that she laughed at.
“Fuck you, no. Why?”
“Partners, remember?” He tossed his phone in her lap, unlocked and open to the contacts screen. “We’ll go to the coffee shop tomorrow. There’s a vacant office in the building opposite. We can figure out our plan from there.”
“And just meeting there wouldn’t work because…”
“Are you always this bloody stubborn?” He sighed heavily. “You have a work phone, I know you do. Just give me that. It’s not tied to you so I can’t somehow use it to your detriment, and you know Gold would let me have it if I did anything to jeopardize his operation. I don’t see what the problem is.”
He was right, and they both knew it, so Emma picked up his phone with a scowl and gave him the number to the nondescript phone Gold had given her years back. She didn’t use it much -- even Gold barely contacted her on it, and he was the only one who had both the number and a reason to call -- so it wasn’t really a problem. But...
“It’s the principle,” she said. “You don’t just go asking for girls’ phone numbers when you’ve just been talking about casual murder.”
“Not casual,” he snapped too quickly. “Professional, and frequent, but not…”
“Jesus. It was a joke.” She tossed the phone back in his lap with no small degree of frustration in her voice. “Now get out. I’ve got things to do.”
“Don’t beat around the bush, do you?” He had the audacity to look offended at her tone, but he opened the door and got out anyway, offering a sarcastic eternal thanks for your hospitality before he slammed the door.
She wasn’t even out of the parking lot, though, when her phone buzzed in her pocket. She pulled it out and set it on her thigh as she turned back onto the main road, glancing down at the message on the screen. It was a number she didn’t know, but it could only have been one person.
Never say I’m not fair, said Killian Jones, his number in bright white figures on her screen.
-------
They met at eight the next night at the office building across the street from Percolate & Parchment, an hour and a half before the coffee shop was set to close. She saw Killian the moment she entered the building, lingering in the lobby like he had gotten here well in advance and had been waiting a while. In the moment it took him to look up, she cursed him for looking so good in his suit, a plain navy number with a crisp white shirt and red tie that suited him perfectly. When he did look up and caught her gaze with his, the grin he gave her told her he knew how he looked and had expected her reaction.
Not that, when his eyes travelled down over her simple patterned blouse and slim black trousers, he was very subtle in his admiration, either.
“Eyes to the front of the class there, Jones,” she said quietly as she came to stand in front of him, offering him a firm handshake that slotted perfectly into the cover that fell into place around them, two business professionals checking out a vacant office after hours.
“Only if you direct yours there also.” He winked as he released her hand, turning to lead her to the elevator. “Almost like we planned it, eh, love?”
“Can’t blame you for copying my moves,” she returned smoothly. It wasn’t necessarily luck that they’d both had the same thought about their attire, about what would fit in best if anyone happened to see them here. Her years of experience had made blending into the background habit, and she supposed it had worked the same way for him, even if she didn’t know whether he’d been in this life as long as she had.
“If I recall,” he ushered her into the elevator with a flat palm as he spoke, every inch the gentleman she knew he wasn’t, and turned to face her as the door closed, an eyebrow already arched, “I got here first. So by rights, you’re copying me.”
“I’d rather die.”
“I know I look heavenly, darling, but please do try to contain yourself.” He took the elbow to his side easily, only shifting slightly to take the blow near the front of his ribcage. As his jacket pulled taut, she saw the faint line of a shoulder holster under his arm, no doubt carrying a weapon that was an equal match to the gun she had tucked in the rear waistband of her pants, hidden neatly beneath her own jacket. The cover clearly only went so far for both of them.
“You’ll be looking even more heavenly when I push you out the window,” she said as the doors opened, gesturing to the wide-open, empty office and the large windows facing the street.
“Oh, I don’t think that’s where I’d go.” His voice was a shade darker now. He walked past her to one of the windows that had a folding chair set up in front of it already, but didn’t sit, instead lingering just beside the window frame and peering down at the darkening street below. “If you pushed me.”
The certainty in his voice made her pause for a moment, that darker note she knew too well from experience. She wished he had just stayed cocky -- cocky she could handle.
“Well,” she said finally, “I’d probably join you eventually.”
His eyes snapped to hers so quickly she barely saw it happening,. They were deep blue and full of something that wasn’t confidence and wasn’t teasing, and she didn’t know what to do with an expression like that coming from someone who was just as likely to be digging her grave as she was his. So she walked over to the window, taking a place on the side opposite Killian, and swept up a pair of binoculars from the seat of the chair. She could feel Killian’s gaze still boring into her even as she raised the binoculars to her eyes, and for another long moment afterwards as she focused on the warm yellow cafe across the street.
“So what are you thinking?” Emma asked. “Short range or long?”
“What, love?”
“The hit. Are we going in there with pistols and knives or are we doing it from here?”
There was a long pause as Killian caught up, and the delay felt distracted and sloppy even to Emma’s ears. “We can’t see the full shop from this far up,” he said eventually. “Close range would be more of a guarantee. But…”
“Messier,” Emma finished, nodding. “More chance to be seen, for her to scream or try to fight.”
“So long range, then. There are good shots from here. We could make it.”
“Easy.” Even though some of the back of the shop was obscured by the angle, there were plenty of opportunities for clear shots from this window. Early in the morning or late at night would be best, a clean shot between the eyes as Belle opened or locked up the double doors facing the street. Even at the counter would do, something a little more private. Emma could see Belle with crystal clarity standing behind the espresso machine now, could get a clear shot that would put her behind the counter when she fell, obscured from the eyes of the street. By the time someone found Belle, Emma and Killian would be long gone without a trace. “We’re going to have to take this stupid lawn chair with us before we--” Emma let her sentence drop off as Belle came out from behind the machine, sliding a finished drink toward a smiling woman across the counter in a white to-go cup with a distinctive black scrollwork P in sharp relief on the side, the cup turned at an almost perfect angle for Emma to see it clearly.
“She doesn’t own the cafe, does she,” Emma said to Killian. It wasn’t a question.
“No, she only started a few months ago. Place’s been here--”
“Forever,” Emma finished absently, not taking her eyes off the cup as the customer carried it out the door.
She was an idiot. She should have recognized this place, the name, as soon as Kilian had said it. It had been here longer than Emma had, one of the first places she had been to when she’d come to the city. It was a remnant of her past and she steered clear of it now, but she still should have remembered. It was the cup that flagged the memory, that curling P she had seen in a spindly hand and on the corner of a thick oak desk day after day for years. Even before then, it had been a constant fixture on bedside tables and a warm granite countertop and in a library she wasn’t allowed in.
She knew that cup well, and it changed everything.
“I know who called the hit,” Emma said, turning to Killian abruptly and shoving the binoculars in his hands.
“How--”
“Look at that cup.” She pointed in the direction the customer was slowly disappearing, and to his credit, Killian wasted no time in training the binoculars on the disappearing figure. “Where do you recognize that from?”
It was one moment, then two, then, “Bloody hell.”
“No kidding.”
“It could be a coincidence,” he said, even as he dropped the binoculars to look at her with wide eyes full of realization.
“A coincidence that Gold’s been drinking that coffee for--” sixteen “--years, except for the last few weeks?” She’d noticed the brand new in-office coffee machine and lack of white paper cups on Gold’s desk when she had gotten her assignment before this one. She should have known there was a reason for it beyond, Convenience, dearie.
“And that’s why this is a partner hit.” She could almost see the wheels turning as Killian put it all together. And because she was watching, she also saw his eyes harden and dart over to her right before he said, “I’ve got a rifle in the ceiling.”
“What?” Her voice sounded flat and harsh even to her own ears. “Do you know how much of a risk that is?”
“Of course I know,” he snapped. “But if Gold called the hit, and if he thinks she’s a risk…”
“We could do it right now and be done with it,” she finished. He was right, of course, and she had thought the same thing when she recognized that cup. It was what someone loyal would do, what a good assassin would do. If she were any good, she would have carried out the hit at Belle’s house yesterday.
But if Killian were any good, he would have carried out the hit from this window when he came to hide the rifle.
“Or,” Killian said, and she looked over at him with hope simmering dangerously in her chest. “We could recon one more night just to be sure, just to get a plan in place.”
“I wouldn’t mind a decent exit strategy. Or a contingency plan.”
“Then we wait.” He looked almost relieved, and she liked him just a little bit more for it.
“When? Tomorrow?”
“I’m busy tomorrow,” he said. “And the shop’s closed Tuesday and Wednesday.”
“Thursday it is, then.” Emma turned back to the shop and felt Killian turn with her, the two of them looking down at the warm yellow light seeping onto the street and the faint figure of Belle moving behind the counter.
“How many do you think he’s had?” Killian asked softly after a moment.
“What?” But Emma knew what he meant. Gold was centuries old, and soulmates weren’t a one-time thing. It was a gift, this thing the universe gave them, but it didn’t account for a business like Gold’s selling immortality one hit at a time. For Gold to look like he did, around fifty physically, he had to have had a lot of soulmates.
And had to have killed them all.
“I don’t know,” she continued. “Fifty? A hundred? More? I don’t even know how old he is.”
“Me neither.”
They stood in silence for several more minutes, Killian tapping an absent rhythm on the windowsill, Emma cataloguing every hit she had ever done to figure out whether any of those targets had been Gold’s soulmate. It was an uncomfortable thought that she might have done something he wanted, something for his benefit. She didn’t want to now, either, but she couldn’t see a way around it.
Maybe she’d let Killian take the shot. Maybe it would matter less if it came from him.
“Well,” Killian said finally, pushing off the wall and running a hand through his hair. “If we’re not going to do it tonight we might as well get going. Don’t want to linger up here and give anyone any cause for suspicion.”
“As if the rifle in the ceiling wasn’t enough.” Emma rolled her eyes but followed him back into the elevator. It was near closing time for the shop anyway, and she didn’t expect to see much more tonight that would tell her anything about Belle she hadn’t already figured out.
“It’s practical to keep a rifle in the ceiling,” Killian argued with a small grin. “Good for security.”
“Yeah, I’m sure any robber would definitely give you time to start popping ceiling tiles up to grab it.”
“You never know. Robbers these days aren’t what they used to be.”
“Shame.” The elevator doors opened onto the lobby, putting them face-to-face with a tired looking man in a dress shirt and jeans -- no doubt someone who actually did work there squeezing in some overtime.
“I do hope the space has everything you need,” Killian said smoothly, letting Emma step out ahead of him and nodding pleasantly at the man as they passed. “But please do phone if you have any additional questions.”
“I’ll talk to our facilities manager about the improvements we’d need to make,” she said, flashing him a business-grade smile as they crossed the lobby toward the door, elevator doors closing on the man. “But I think it will work nicely.”
“Glad to hear it.” Killian held the door open for her, and there was a definite sparkle in his eye when she allowed it, the cover silencing any protests. On the street now with late-night foot traffic flowing around them, there was no room for one more quip about the rifle in the ceiling or for a reminder that she hadn’t pushed him out the window upstairs. There was only one final, firm handshake between industry professionals, and then he was turning left and she was turning right and that was it.
She hadn’t really planned on making a window joke, but she found she missed the opportunity.
-------
Emma was nearly home when her work phone buzzed on the seat beside her. She glanced over absently at the first stop light, expecting Killian to add some detail about their meeting on Thursday he hadn’t gotten a chance to at the building, but it wasn’t Killian. It was the only other person who knew this number, and the one she wished didn’t.
Come to the house, it said, simple as that. She wanted to say no instantly, as she always did. Nothing from Gold was ever an invitation, and this was no different. It was a power play cloaked in pleasantry, but he wasn’t fooling either of them. With a long sigh, she hung a U-turn in the intersection and headed out of town.
Gold’s office was impressive, but his house was something else entirely. A sprawling building on a country property just outside of town, the money he took from clients and assassins alike dripped from every brick, and Emma hated it. It was a hulking structure, dark with mahogany and stone, the leaded windows sharp teeth when the light hit them at a certain angle. The sconces on either side of the door were on, and there was light shining through the front windows when she pulled up, a mockery of a home. The worst thing was that it almost tricked her every time -- coming up the long driveway from the dark road with the house glowing warmly in the middle of the property, it was almost welcoming until she got closer and saw Gold’s car parked in the driveway, saw the upstairs window that looked out over the road, and remembered who exactly lived in this house.
She knocked twice on the big wooden door, and the sound hadn’t even finished echoing through the yard when Gold swung it open.
“You never need to knock, dearie,” he said in a voice that would have been kind coming from anyone else.
“Visitors knock. I knock.” She let him usher her in and fought the urge to look back at the door as it closed behind her, to catch a final glimpse of her bright yellow Bug parked in the driveway, as if it was the last sliver of sunlight she was going to see for a while. “Do you have another job for me that couldn’t wait till the morning?”
“I just wanted to discuss your current target,” he said, leading her into a living room with deep brown leather furniture and dim table lamps casting heavy shadows in the corners. “And to see how you liked working with Killian Jones.”
It sounded innocent, but she knew Gold well enough to hear the edge beneath the words. Hearing him ask was shocking enough because he never checked up on hits, but with what she knew of Belle she shouldn’t have been surprised.
“I don’t need a partner,” she said because he would expect her to. “It’s one target. I can take the hit alone.”
“Team building is important, dearie.”
“It’s infuriating and full of itself, and the more hands on a hit the more likely things will go wrong.” She was surprised to find that she didn’t want to say those things, but she knew Gold asked her here to hear them. As well as she knew him, he knew her better, and while that grated harshly, she couldn’t fake a change of heart. “But…” she said, rolling her eyes and forcing a huff of breath, “he’s competent. I guess. And he hasn’t screwed it up -- yet -- so he’s fine.”
“Excellent.” She almost expected him to tent his fingers, but he just lowered himself into one of the chairs and looked up at her expectantly. “And your target?”
“Far as we can tell, she’s unremarkable. Young, works at a cafe downtown, lives alone. We’re going to do the hit long range, from the building across the street. It’ll be quick and thorough, done by the end of the week.” She scowled slightly and looked down at him with something edging on contempt. “It’s a straightforward job. I could have done it alone.”
“Well, maybe you can teach Mr. Jones a thing or two.” Gold looked satisfied, and Emma hated that she had given him that. “You should stay a while. I’m having dinner delivered shortly.”
“I have a few things to do before the hit,” she said, forcing a slightly bored tone to cover up the frantic energy she could feel building inside her, the panic at the idea of staying. “I want it to go well.”
Gold just looked at her for a moment, and she knew he knew she was lying. There was something too cunning in his eyes, and then a small smile curled on his lips. Everything was power with him, and he knew he had the upper hand here, as he always did. He had asked her to come, and she couldn’t say no. He had asked her about work which he herself had trapped her in, whose assignment he had dictated. And he had asked her to stay, and while she had declined, if he asked again, she would have to say yes.
The only reason he nodded once and jerked his head toward the door in a silent dismissal was because he was choosing to let her go, not because her words meant anything to him.
She didn’t bother with a goodbye, hustling down the too-familiar hallway and back out the front door. Five minutes start to finish, but the short visit was enough to remind her of her place. As if she ever forgot.
-------
Belle was Emma’s only target, so the next day passed unremarkably with no recon and no action to speak of. She was hoping for a quiet night too, something she didn’t get a lot of, and thought she was going to get it as the hour got later and she stayed sprawled on the couch with the TV on in the background. But just shy of midnight, the shrill of her work phone echoed through the apartment from where she had left it on the kitchen counter. She groaned, but her heart was in her throat, because if this was Gold again she didn’t know what she’d do.
She answered without looking at the screen, a simple and curt, “Yes?”
“Emma?” The smooth accent wasn’t Gold’s, and the ragged breathing behind it definitely wasn’t. Gold didn’t do anything for himself except sit at his stupid desk, so it could only be one person.
“Who the hell gave you the right to call me?” she demanded, taking the phone to sink back on the couch as she scowled at Killian through the receiver. “We said tomorrow. I’m going to be there tomorrow. End of--”
“Where do you live?” he cut in. “I need to come over.”
“Like hell! You got lucky with the phone number, buddy. I’ll see you--”
“Emma.” There was something in his voice that made her finger hover above the disconnect button but not press it -- not the confidence she had gotten used to, but not the vulnerability that seemed to lurk there, either. No, this was something that she would have called fear if she didn’t know better, and that a was a dangerous thing for anyone in their profession. “I’m...working. Asshole had a gun and he knew what he was about. I need to come over.”
Shit. Shit shit shit.
Emma knew what that meant. Between him calling her and that tone in his voice, she knew things had gone very south. If he meant what she thought he meant, and he was calling her because he couldn’t handle it himself, he really did need somewhere to go with someone who wouldn’t ask questions.
“Shit. Fine.” She sighed as she gave him the address, ignoring the fact that his rough thank you made something shift in her chest. She wasn’t expecting him quickly, but it was maybe fifteen minutes before there was a knock at her door.
“Lock’s broken on the main door,” he said in greeting when she let him in, shooting her a small grin even though his hand was clamped over his side and she could see a dark, wet mark on the fabric of his black shirt. “Not very safe.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve got a small armoury under the bed so I don’t care.” She had weapons hidden in more places than just under the bed -- one under the table just to her right, in fact -- but he didn’t need to know. She jerked her head down the hall and gestured for him to follow her. “Come into the bathroom, would you? I’ll never get my security deposit back if you get blood on my floor.”
“What a welcome.”
“I said you could come. I didn’t say I was a good hostess.” She let him enter the small bathroom before her, directing him to the side of the tub. “That shirt needs to come off.”
“Ah, I see your game here.” He waggled his brows but the gesture fell flat even if it did elicit an eye roll from her. He pulled the shirt off, his mouth a grim line as the movement pulled on the wound. He dropped it into her bathtub and clamped his hand over his side again in one smooth movement.
She caught herself looking as his eyes were on the bloody shirt in her tub, and though she told herself she shouldn’t be, she still allowed her gaze to sweep over him once, taking in the map of scars on his chest, the faint line where his neck met the paler skin of his chest, and the tattoos inked over his heart and on his forearm. She dropped her eyes just as he turned back to her, twisting the tap to hide the sudden movement and rinsing off her hands. “So, what happened?”
“My target was a policeman. He had his weapon on him and was a bloody quick draw.”
“Oh, so you get assigned a cop and think to yourself, I’ll just get him while he’s at work, armed, and a radio call away from backup? Great idea.” She crouched in front of him and moved his hand from the wound gently, ignoring for the moment the worry that bloomed when she felt his blood slick under her fingers. “Jesus Christ, Killian. You couldn’t dodge or something?”
“I was aiming at the time,” he said, grimacing as she prodded the edges of the wound. It didn’t look critical, but she knew he wouldn’t have called her if the bullet wasn’t still in there.
“Did you at least make the hit?”
“Of course I did.”
“Good.” She stood and wiped her hands down the side of her jeans, only realizing after that she would probably have to throw them out after this. “You can use your cut to pay the bill I’m going to give you when all this is over.”
“Viper.”
“Second-rate assassin.” She threw him a smirk she didn’t really feel and stepped back into the hall. “Wait here. I’ll be right back.”
“Not like I’m bleeding or anything, love. Take your time.” She could hear the strain in his voice even as he teased her, and she didn’t want to be glad he was here making himself her problem, but she was.
She wasn’t gone long, shoving a three-quarters empty bottle of rum in his hands when she returned and folding an old dish towel on the bathroom counter before pulling a first aid kit out from under the sink.
“Drink that. It’ll help a little. Maybe.”
“Maybe?” He sounded so indignant at the word that she had to smile at it, but he twisted off the cap and took a swig nonetheless. His eyes screwed shut against the burn and stayed closed, his shoulders lifting as he sighed. “I do apologize for this, Emma. I’d have done it myself if I could see the wound properly, and you know Gold.”
Yes, she did know Gold, which meant she knew his rule about injuries on the job -- namely that if you got hit, you were slow enough to have been seen, which meant you could have been identified, which meant you found yourself at the wrong end of one of your colleagues’ weapons and nobody ever found your body.
“Thank me after you don’t die tonight,” she said tightly instead of saying all that. They both knew it, and dwelling on it -- or on the possibility that even if Emma fixed Killian up Gold still might find out -- wasn’t going to help the situation.
“I fully trust that you won’t -- Christ, woman!” That was because Emma had grazed the edge of the wound with a pair of tweezers. She looked up at him and arched a brow, tapping the bottle of rum.
“How the hell did you think I was going to do this? That’s what the rum is for, you ass.”
“Could’ve warned me.” He took a long swig from the bottle and tipped his head toward his side in assent.
“You came to me. That’s warning enough for you that things are going to hurt.”
“That’s alright, love.” The words came through gritted teeth as she probed the wound again, finding the bullet quickly. He was lucky it was small and hadn’t gone too deep, and that it hadn’t hit anything important. His breath caught once as she worked but he didn’t protest again. “I like it rough.”
His voice was gravel, and it was probably because of the pain, but the sound of it settled somewhere deep in Emma’s chest, heat blooming beneath it. She was suddenly and intensely aware that he was half-naked in her apartment, his skin warm beneath her hand, and that nobody had probably ever seen him this vulnerable. The pale lacework of scars on his chest spoke of previous injuries, but the ragged look to some of the larger ones said that those injuries had been tended sloppily and hastily. And alone.
“Well,” she said finally, “I don’t call digging foreign objects out of guys’ sides a good time, so enjoy this while you can if that’s what you’re into.”
“I assure you,” he breathed a curse as she pulled the bullet out entirely, “there are things I enjoy more.”
“Thank God for that.” She pressed the dish towel to his side, and he held it in place without having to be asked while she dug through the first aid kit for iodine and a long roll of gauze.
“You’d be a good paramedic, you know,” he said, swallowing another mouthful of rum. “You’re quite calm under pressure.”
“Oh, please. It’s a glorified flesh wound, you big baby. How do you know I wouldn’t be in hysterics if you actually were bleeding out on my floor?” She was aware as she said it that it was not, in fact, a glorified flesh wound, but she figured the banter would keep his mind off the burn of the iodine in a moment. At the very least, she was enjoying herself.
“I just know.” He hissed a little as she removed the towel and dabbed the wound with iodine, but he didn’t say anything. “I assure you, if it was you who got shot I’d be running around, arms flailing…”
“You would not.” She grinned despite herself, packing the hole with gauze and sticking a large white bandage over the whole thing. “There. I think the bullet was small enough that you won’t need stitches, so we’re done.”
“Just like that?” He twisted a bit to look down, running a cautious finger over the bandage. “That was quick.”
“If you want, I can take my time and dig around a bunch more. Be a little less efficient about it. Maybe invite in an infection or two.”
“Touche.” He stood, fingers ghosting across the bandage again as it pulled. “Thank you for this, Emma. When I asked for your number I didn’t quite intend--”
“Yeah, well nobody plans on getting shot.” She shrugged, suddenly uncomfortable in such a small space with him. “Seriously, it wasn’t a big deal.”
“We both know I was looking at an unmarked grave if Gold had found out, so yes, Emma, it was a big deal,” he said quietly. “I’m not going to let you brush this off without thanking you for it.”
“You can bring me coffee on Thursday and we’ll call it even.” She dumped the tweezers, bullet, and bloody towel in the sink before stepping into the hall and nodding towards the living room. “You want to just...hang out for a sec until I’m sure you’re not going to keel over on the street or something?” she asked, then gestured toward the rum bottle still clutched in his hand. “I’ll get you a glass for that.”
“No need, darling.” He held up the nearly empty bottle with a sheepish grin as he followed.
“Guess I’ll just get you a straw, then,” she muttered, directing him to the couch with a flat palm, and disappeared into the kitchen. She didn’t get a straw but did get herself a beer from the fridge, and then leaned back against the closed fridge door and closed her eyes for a moment, just breathing. She hadn’t given herself much time to think about it from the time Killian had called until now, but he had been in her bathroom with a literal bullet in his side. And he had called her -- had called her, and she barely even knew him. Could have brought him in here and held a knife to his neck a second time and not pulled it away.
She didn’t want to think that he trusted her.
With a final deep breath, she went to join him in the living room. He was sitting on the far side of the couch, eyes roaming around the spartan room. Emma had never had anybody over to this place, and it felt more intimate than it should have, knowing that he saw how few personal things she had, knowing he was putting together why.
“You want to watch a movie or something?” she asked, grabbing the TV remote from between them and flicking on the set before he had a chance to reply. “You don’t need to stay long -- just convince me you’re not going to die before you leave and I’ll be satisfied.”
“Didn’t think you’d be so concerned for my well-being considering you did threaten to kill me the day we met.”
“I did not, first of all. And if you’re not careful, I still might decide to use you for professional development.”
“It was implied,” he said drily, then jerked his chin at the TV. “What do you like to watch?”
“You’re the guest. You can pick.” She tossed him the remote and took a swig of her beer. Despite Killian here, still shirtless, she could feel the ghost of her quiet evening returning.
“You’ve done more than enough for me tonight, Emma. You can--”
“You just got shot. You pick. Stop arguing with me.”
He raised both eyebrows at that but kept the remote, muttering yes ma’am as he clicked through the channels.
He settled on a cartoon, darting a glance over at her to see if she’d object. She arched an eyebrow of her own but let it slide, tipping back her drink and tossing him a throw in place of the shirt now ruined in her bathtub.
“If you were to ask anyone what two assassins watch on TV on a Monday night, I bet nobody would believe this,” she said, eliciting a chuckle in response from him.
“I bet nobody would believe two assassins are hanging out on a Monday night, cartoons or not.”
She inclined her head in his direction by way of a reply, but he didn’t say anything more, letting the conversation lapse into silence. She was never not aware of him sitting a few feet away, but with the TV on low in the background and the day suddenly weighing on her, it was peaceful just to be there together with someone else.
Is this what life would have been like if she and Gold had never crossed paths? Quiet nights at home with friends or otherwise, people in her life to drink beers with after work, someone on her couch night after night breathing gently beside her, not demanding anything, just existing? She spent a lot of time angry at Gold for what he had taken from her and the person he had made her into, both inadvertently and purposely, but her anger always burned for bigger things, not for the quiet moments like this that she hadn’t even realized she was missing.
Over the course of the episode, as she thought about the other lives she would never get to live, she could feel Killian slowly drifting beside her, the adrenaline from the shot leeching away until all that was left was the haze of the rum and the weariness that came with the job. It became apparent very quickly that he wasn’t about to die, and she could have asked him to leave. Should have asked him to leave. But she convinced herself that they would finish the episode, and even as the credits rolled and a commercial ran, she couldn’t find the words to kick him out.
“How…” he started, turning his head lazily to look at her, his blinks long and languid with liquor, the bottle long empty. “How did you get tangled up in all this? With Gold?”
Her entire body tensed and she wanted to snap at him to mind his own business, but…
...but she had never had anybody ask. Never had anybody know what she did enough to wonder how she got into a line of work that was so outside the law it seemed absurd. Never really had anybody know her while she was working for Gold, period. So instead she settled on, “How do you know I didn’t seek it out myself?”
“I’ve met the people who do,” he said, the skin around his eyes tightening as he frowned deeply. “They’re not...methodical about things, and don’t do the recon, and don’t worry about the cover or about how to do things quick and quiet and get out fast. They treat it like...an art form, almost, and not in the good way.” His voice dropped slightly as he finished, “They’re not you.”
“How did you get into it, then?” she asked. “Because that’s not you either.”
He chuckled darkly and put the rum bottle to his lips before realizing it was empty. Emma wordlessly swapped the rum for her own half-empty bottle of beer and just waited, silent, until he took a swig and said, “I’m...older than I look.”
“Aren’t we all,” she muttered.
“No, Emma. Older. Not thirty, or fifty. Hundreds of years. And way back at the start of them, I had someone.” He closed his eyes and rubbed a hand over his face, and she instantly regretted this line of questioning.
“You don’t…”
“It was a long time ago,” he said, dropping his hand. “It’s fine. She wasn’t my soulmate, but I cared for her deeply. We went to the market one day to buy fabrics and vegetables and spices for a voyage the next day, and when we came back to that port months later, one of the vendors was waiting for us at the docks. Short, mean as a viper...you know him.” Killian looked at Emma significantly until she breathed Gold’s name on a breath of disbelief, and he nodded. Hundreds of years. “She was his soulmate, and it was starting to show already on his face. He wasn’t subtle about it -- had a knife out the minute he stormed our ship, and I knew.” His eyes drifted shut, and this time they didn’t open again even though she could see his pupils darting around inside the lids as he remembered. “I fought him, of course, but he’d had probably at least a hundred years of experience already by then, and I was never going to be a match for him. Not when he was so angry, or so desperate for more years.”
He paused a moment, and she wanted to ask how. How had Killian gone from a man fighting Gold to a man working for him, killing for him? The depth of emotion in his voice betrayed just how heavily the years that had passed since sat on his shoulders, and she wondered how he could walk beneath the weight of it all every day and not have it show.
“I was lucky enough to impress him,” Killian said, though the word didn’t sound like luck, “and he asked me to come work for him. I declined.” His eyes snapped open then, and there were storms raging in the depths of the blue there. “And then he found my brother.”
Oh. Now this was a story she knew well.
“He explained his business, how many he had working for him, and the lengths he could -- and would -- go to to find the people he was after. And if I didn’t work for him, Liam would end up on a dock somewhere with a sword pierced straight through his throat.” He looked over at her, the horror of hearing that still plain on his face even after so long. “I saw his eyes, Emma. He meant it.”
“I know,” she said softly.
“Aye, I suppose you do.” He sighed and turned his head to the ceiling, and just then he looked exceptionally lost. “And the rest, as they say, is history. I quit sailing, left my brother to the Navy, and I’ve been working for Gold ever since. Because he travelled around so much, Liam got to live the last few hundred years with me. He found Elsa twenty years ago, and now I’ve got both of them to protect.”
“And the debt for sparing both their lives is going to keep you in this business until they’re gone,” she finished for him, her own eyes drifting shut at the unfairness of it all. It wasn’t a new story by any means, but it was worse hearing it from someone else’s mouth, about someone else’s loved ones.
“Aye.” He sighed deeply, and when he spoke again his voice was quiet, heavy with the vulnerabilities being spoken aloud. “And when they are, Gold will lose his leverage, yes, but I’ll also have lost any opportunity to know them without this bargain always looming on the sidelines.”
“Do they know?” she asked, voice barely more than a whisper.
“No. Liam would try to fight it, and Elsa would try to make it better, but then they would both have Gold marring their lives as he is mine. I don’t want that for them.”
“I wouldn’t, either.”
“Aye, I’m getting the sense that you know all too well what I’m talking about.”
She nodded, and the silence stretched as Killian waited for her to elaborate, the opening scenes of a new episode casting them both in flickering blue light. When she didn’t continue, he blinked once, long, and rubbed his hands along the legs of his pants absently.
“I should go,” he said. “I’ve imposed on your evening enough, I think.”
“Right now?” Emma gestured to the TV, a too-quick and too-transparent cover for the almost instinctive question that had practically come out on its own. “He hasn’t even gotten his milkshake licence -- could you really forgive yourself if you missed that milestone?”
He stared at her for one long moment, a soft grin slowly spreading over his face and lighting his eyes, the corners crinkling with faint creases, and then he leaned back into the cushions and tugged the blanket tighter around himself.
“No, I don’t believe I could.”
Killian ended up staying for two more episodes back-to-back, and by the time he finally did stand up to leave, they were both yawning and clumsy with exhaustion. He pulled his ruined shirt back on for the trip home, assuring her that the blood would be covered the moment he got in his car, and bid her a simple goodbye with another emphatic thank you as he exited into the hall.
She leaned in the doorway and watched him walk toward the stairs, his steps heavy and slow with the hour and the liquor and the confessions and the pain. His story and the years he had belonged to Gold still rang in Emma’s mind, along with the fact that he had called her, had come here, had trusted her enough to tell her how he had gotten caught up in this life. And yes, she had let him in, had fixed him up, had listened, but she hadn’t really given him anything, had she? And she didn’t want it to bother her, but…
“Killian?” she called down the hall, stopping him just before the stairwell. He pivoted to face her, and she could see his eyebrow cock even from a distance. “Emma Swan,” she said, a faint smile playing on her lips as he caught up with her words, as a brilliant grin spread across his. She waved once before he could say anything, stepping back into the apartment with a quiet don’t get shot again before Thursday tossed into the hall before she closed the door.
His faint chuckle followed her in and stayed long into the night.
-------
Emma beat Killian to the empty office on Thursday, the two days passing slowly without work to do. Sometime since they had last been there he had clearly been back because a second folding chair was set up next to the first by the window facing the cafe. She smiled softly at that, the mental image of him sneaking up the elevator in his suit with a lawn chair too ridiculous not to indulge in. She wasn’t in her fake corporate wear today, risking being seen in jeans and a sweater by whoever was still in the office at eight o’clock. At best, she figured she could pass off casual gear for work after hours in one of the other offices in the building. At worst, she still had a gun in her bag.
She sank into the new chair, grabbing the binoculars from the seat of the other and bringing them lazily to her eyes. The cafe was busy, a line half-a-dozen people long snaking in front of the counter, Belle moving behind it with a smile. Emma didn’t know the woman, obviously, but from everything she’d seen she couldn’t help but wonder how someone so sunny and bright was soulmates with the human equivalent of a sewer rat. She wondered if Gold had always been this way or whether all those hundreds of years ago he had been someone worthy of someone like Belle, and the universe hadn’t caught up yet.
The telltale hum of the elevator filled the space before she could go any farther down that trail of thought, and she was on her feet in a moment, gun drawn and trained on the door right as it opened. Killian stepped out and froze the moment he saw her, a smile spreading across his face as he raised both arms in mock surrender.
“If you’ve forgotten,” he said, “I’ve been shot recently and would prefer not to be twice in a week, if it’s all the same to you.”
“We’ll see,” she said with a twist of a smile back, but wedged the gun back in her waistband and reclaimed her seat. “How’s the wound?”
“Sore still, but I’ll live.” He winked as he sank into his own chair. “I had a good doctor.”
“Your doctor should be sued for malpractice on the grounds of operating out of a bathroom that was last cleaned...a while ago.”
“I’m going to die, aren’t I?”
“Yeah, probably.” She had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep the smile from growing, but failed miserably. She handed him the binoculars and leaned back in her chair as he took them, watching the headlights from the cars outside striping along the ceiling as Killian looked out at the cafe. With no lights on, the room was dusky with the late hour and indirect street light, and it struck her that she was going to miss this -- the lawn chairs and the cavernous space, sneaking around with half-formed covers and constantly reminding herself not to forget the rifle in the ceiling when all of this was over.
She turned her head slightly to the side to make a quip about the rifle, but it died on her lips when she found Killian already watching her, his lips a serious line and the binoculars sitting in his lap.
“What?” she asked, peering out at the cafe. “Did something--”
“You like this, don’t you?” he interrupted quietly, ignoring the cafe entirely and gesturing to the space between their two chairs.
“What?”
“This,” he said. “Us. Someone else who knows who you are and what you do. Talking about it without being scared of chasing someone away. You pointing a bloody gun at my face and me not having to worry about whether my coat flaps open enough that my holster pokes out. No covers and no lies. All of it.” The words came out in a rush, his face so open she could tell they were raw and honest, ushered into the open before he could talk himself out of it. She didn’t know how, after being burned so badly by Gold, he could still be so open -- about his past, about this -- but he wasn’t wrong.
“Does it matter if I do?” she asked softly. “We do the hit, we get the payout, we go our separate ways. That’s how it has to be. You know Gold wouldn’t stand for two of his people together. It’s a liability, and we’d both end up dead.”
“I suppose you’re right.” He rubbed a hand over his face and up through his hair, the motion so weary she saw every year in the line of his body, the crushing weight of being alone for so long with so much to say and nobody to say it to. “I’ve just...enjoyed this, Emma. Swan. And I want you to know that.”
Maybe it was the melancholy in his voice just then, maybe it was the way no covers and no lies had settled just beneath her breastbone, maybe it was the way she was never going to see him again after this, or maybe it was because as much as she wasn’t willing to say it, it was nice to tell someone something and know they would understand. Whatever it was, she pulled her gaze from his and looked out the window again as she breathed I’m an orphan into the room.
Killian didn’t say anything in return, but she heard the squeak of his chair as he shifted to face her.
“I was left on the side of the road as a baby,” she continued. “I never knew my parents, bounced around the foster system a lot, until I turned twelve and got adopted.” An ironic smile twisted as she said it, because she still remembered the excitement -- nearing that age when she would be basically unadoptable and getting the news that someone wanted her when nobody ever had. “They said he was a single guy, widowed, but well-off and willing to give me my best life.”
“You’re not…” She had to give it to Killian -- he was smart and he picked things up fast even when she couldn’t quite bring herself to be direct.
“He had the biggest house I’d ever seen,” she said. “Out in the country, tons of property. I had a whole wing basically to myself, and a bedroom of my own, and there was only one room I wasn’t allowed to go in but I didn’t care. And he was…” She didn’t want to say nice because Gold had never been nice, but… “He was...different,” she settled on. “Different than he is now. And I know now that he was basically running a long con and none of it was real but...for six years, it was good.”
“And after six?” Killian asked, his voice low and dangerous in a way she had never heard it.
“I turned eighteen,” she said, shooting him a helpless, bitter little smile. “And he told me what he did for a living. And that he had picked me because he heard about my ‘street smarts’ and because he saw potential there. And that I worked for him now. And then he showed me how much he said I owed him -- everything from the past six years that I thought was mine had just been piling on and becoming debt, and the life of every friend I had ever made and anybody I had started to care about was turned into dollars and added on too. So you’re in this for your brother and your sister-in-law?” She laughed bitterly. “I’m in it for every person I was stupid enough to let in. I’m in it for a thousand lifetimes.”
“You’re Gold’s…” Killian swore emphatically. “That bloody bastard.”
“It was a long time ago,” she said, echoing Killian’s own words from the other night, but she could hear it fall flat. “But you asked how I got here. Tricked into it, same as you.”
What Emma didn’t say aloud was how much it still stung. She was angry at Gold for shanghaiing her into this life, yes -- angry that he was holding hostage the lives of the friends she had once been naive enough to make, punishing her for a life she had barely even gotten to live. But no, what still hurt was that once upon a time, he had given her hope. He had made her think that for once in her life, someone had wanted her. That she got to have the kind of youth she had only ever dreamed of. That she got to have a home, and a family, and a life that wasn’t just defined by what she couldn’t have. It was that he had given her all that and then ripped it away. It was that she didn’t dare to hope anymore, for anything, and she had him to blame.
“Swan…” Killian’s eyes were still slightly too wide, but his voice was blissfully steady as he reached across the space between the chairs and grabbed her hand. “Everything he did...you have to know it wasn’t you, right? He would have done it to anyone.”
“You don’t know my history, Killian.”
“I don’t need to.” His thumb rubbed along the back of her hand as he raised it between them, brought it up to his lips so, so slowly. She had every chance to pull away but her gaze was locked with his, drowning in a sea of deep blue and understanding she had never felt before. His lips against her skin were soft at first, a whisper of a touch, but they deepened as he traced the map of her flingers, her knuckles, her palm with his lips. “You’re worth more than that. You’re worth the world, Emma Swan,” he breathed onto her skin, pressing a kiss to the crease between her thumb and forefinger, the shallow crevice that--
She tore her hand from his and bolted from her chair, standing straight, body taut, in the blink of an eye.
-- the shallow crevice between her thumb and forefinger that hadn’t been there when she had spent an hour cleaning her rifle at home after her last hit the week before. An hour when her eyes had roamed every inch of her hands along with the equipment held in them.
Killian’s eyes were soft but careful as he looked up at her, utterly still. There were words in the blue of them, and his lip pulled slightly where he was biting it, but she didn’t need him to say anything. She knew what this meant, and everything about his expression and the line of his body curving towards her said he did, too.
She pivoted sharply and while she didn’t run, she didn’t waste any time making her way back across the empty space. Something followed that sounded like her name floating on a breath, but she didn’t care. She pushed through the door into the stairwell, and then she did run, feet a sharp staccato against the concrete steps, the sound a hollow echo in the space. For once, she didn’t care who saw, didn’t care about her cover. All she cared about was that her footsteps were the only sound, that the door at the top of the stairs didn’t slam open, that Killian didn’t follow her. She only slowed when she reached the lobby, though her strides were brisk as she crossed it and exited onto the street.
She didn’t look back at the building as she crossed the road and got into her car, but she could feel the imagined heat of Killian’s gaze. If she looked back now, she knew she would see the silhouette of a single figure against the upper windows, his cover also cast aside as he watched her leave him behind.
-------
Emma had never wanted a fucking partner.
Killian had drunk all her rum, but a quarter of a bottle of scotch had been waiting for her at home -- cheap, shitty scotch, but it did the job. Well--it didn’t stop her from turning her hand left and right in the scant light of her living room, studying the topography of her skin as if she had never seen it before, but the alcohol did dull some of the panic that clawed at her chest as her eyes inevitably caught on that one crease that had somehow snuck in all on its own.
Creases meant aging, but Emma didn’t see anyone. She didn’t do anything. She used self-scan at the grocery store and filled her own gas, went to the office and carried out hits from far away and came home to an empty apartment night after night, protecting the world and everyone in it from the fatal bargain that was knowing Emma Swan. She had been so, so careful all these years, and yet--
Emma tipped the scotch back, closing her eyes against the faint burn. Fucking partner.
Had Killian seen the evidence on her? Did he know that he was the only person she really saw, apart from Gold? She wished now that she knew more about soulmate magic, about whether if she ran right now and never saw Killian again, the clock would pause for both of them. Her job was enough proof of the negative, but she let herself dream for a single moment that this was a world that let her choose, that magic she had never asked for didn’t stand in her way.
She took another deep swig. Magic and Gold were standing in her way. Her debt to him was a constant reminder of whose lives were on the line if she tried to run, and though she hadn’t seen any of her friends in over a decade, she had no doubt that Gold knew exactly where they were and how best to hurt them if Emma set a foot out of line.
And then there was Killian’s family, the ways in which Gold would use them to make Killian suffer if Emma did anything. Killian who, despite her best efforts, had somehow gotten tangled up in the black hole that was Emma’s friendship. Killian, who had people to protect the same as she did. Killian, who hadn’t been wrong back at the office.
Emma emptied the final dregs of scotch as she finally let herself settle on the truth. Killian had been right. She did like someone knowing her, knowing what she did. She liked having company on stakeouts. She liked someone teasing her about the likelihood that she’d kill them, liked that the edge to that someone’s voice was grounded in reality, liked that they knew she might actually kill them one day and stuck around anyways. She liked someone else being in on the joke when she used a cover, and liked feeding off a cover as well crafted as her own.
More than that, she liked that that someone was Killian.
But because it was Killian, their future was impossible. He was just as tied to Gold as Emma was, with just as much to lose. Emma knew where that left them, and even though hope was a dangerous burn in her chest, she was glad she didn’t believe in happy endings.
If she did, the reality of this one would hurt that much more.
-------
It had been maybe two hours before Emma heart a soft knock at the door. A small, stubborn part of her considered not answering. She had spent so many years in this apartment with nothing ever changing that it was easy to imagine that nothing ever would if she just didn’t acknowledge that maybe it already had. But after a long moment stretched, filled with her hesitation, there was another knock. This one was more insistent, and she knew that as much as she wanted to deny that a future had finally caught up with her, it wasn’t going to stop knocking at her door until she let it in.
Fucking partner.
She found Killian on the other side of the door, as she knew she would. He looked almost hesitant himself, his smile crooked and sheepish, one hand anchored behind his ear.
“Makes sense now that you threatened to kill me the day we met,” he said, the levity forced but so, so welcome. “You know -- assassin…” He gestured between them, the space pregnant with soulmate.
“I didn’t--”
“Threaten to kill me, I know.” He rolled his eyes. “But it was implied.”
“You’re imagining things.”
“I don’t think I am.” And then suddenly it was about more than the day they’d met. Emma could see the weight of it settle on Killian all at once, his fragile smile finally faltering as he ran a hand up and through his hair with a sigh. “You going to let me in, or are we going to have this conversation in the hall?”
“I’m out of rum,” she said, stepping aside. “And you know I’m a bad host.”
“I had a bullet in my side the last time I was here. I think anything would be an improvement.”
“Yeah, well…” Emma’s reply died on her lips as it finally sunk in that this is what she had to lose -- this easy banter, Killian’s eyes shining with it even now. He seemed to realize it at the same time, nudging the door gently shut behind him and taking two cautious steps toward her until they were toe to toe.
“You didn’t know, did you?” he asked softly.
“We’ve barely known each other a week, Killian. Of course I didn’t know.” Then the way he had said it hit her. “But you knew, didn’t you? How the hell long…”
“A day. Maybe slightly more.” He ran a hand up and through his hair, pinkie tapping at a spot just behind his ear where she could just barely make out a small grouping of silver hairs.
“That’s impossible,” she said. “We’ve--”
“The older you are,” he cut in, “the faster the signs start to show. It’s magic, Emma. It doesn’t have to justify itself to us.” He sounded so ready to just give in to the inevitability of it, to let the reality of what they were overshadow everything else, and something in her chest caved at the sound of his voice because she so, so wanted to let him.
“No,” she said. Her voice was shaking audibly as she denied him this, as something in his eyes fell away while his expression remained solid, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. “This isn’t allowed to happen. I’m locked in for a hundred lifetimes already, and I can’t put another person...Killian, I can’t do that to you. To me. You can’t do it to you. Fuck, and your brother…”
“Swan,” he took another step, his hand making calming, stroking gestures in the air as if to soothe a wild animal. “We don’t get to pick, love. You know that as well as I do.”
“Killian, we can’t. There’s no future here. You have to know that.”
“Emma.” He closed the final space between them, reaching up to cup her face in his palms, one thumb rubbing a gentle line across her cheekbone. His eyes were soft, too much in their depths to pull apart in this tangled moment. “Swan. I’ve been waiting three hundred years for a wrinkle or a grey hair or something to tell me life was capable of changing for me. And I know the circumstances are…”
“Gold’s going to kill one or both of us, and you know it,” Emma cut in.
“And though the circumstances are challenging,” he continued, “I’m not willing to give this up because of what if’s. I want this, Emma. And I want it with you. With every piece of you, knives to my neck and guns to my head and all.”
“You barely even know me,” she protested, but it was weak in the face of his certainty, and she still hadn’t pulled away.
“I know you’ve got enough donut shop napkins in your glove compartment to indicate a small addiction.” He offered her a happy, boyish smile, and she couldn’t help the way her eyes softened at the expression. “I know you like lagers, and I know you’re more invested than you should be in Spongebob Squarepants’ milkshake license. I know you like knives for their concealability but guns for their practicality, and I know you could survive a zombie apocalypse on what you have stashed under your bed alone.” He leaned forward, his nose skimming hers and their foreheads resting together as he breathed, “I know you won’t let yourself want this, but I also know that I plan to spend a blissfully mortal lifetime making the world turn out its pockets for you because you got screwed.”
She laughed softly, the sound dancing between them, and damn her soulmate was good with words.
“You’re going to have a hell of a time keeping us alive that long.” She could hear the surrender in her own voice, and by the smile on Killian’s face, so could he.
“Well then it’s a good thing I like a challenge,” he said, and then he closed the final distance between them.
It felt like lifetimes since Emma had been kissed, but what she remembered was nothing like this. This was soft and gentle, years of waiting finally come to an end, but there was a hunger beneath it that settled low in her stomach. One of Killian’s hands rose to knot in her hair, and the other fell to her lower back, pressing her closer. She went willingly, arms wrapping around his neck and fingers tangling in the soft hair at the base of his skull. The dim room felt warm and close, the two of them the only people in this world made of soft light and the white noise of tires humming against the road outside, and in that moment Emma forgot all the risks. She forgot about Gold and that one of them was probably going to end up dead, forgot about the hit, forgot about the years and years where hope wasn’t an option, and gave herself up to Killian.
They pulled away at the same time, both too soon, and lingered in each other’s space a moment longer. Killian’s fingers brushed up and down her spine, the touch both intimate and casual, and of everything she had ever hated Gold for, Emma was starting to hate him the most for taking this away before it had even begun.
“You know this can’t turn into anything,” she said finally, pulling back properly and taking one big step back.
“Emma…” Killian hadn’t moved, still standing where she’d left him, hand still suspended to trace the shape of a phantom body.
“No, Killian.” Her voice rose in volume, an edge of anger there as hot tears pricked the backs of her eyes. It wasn’t fair -- none of this was fair. “How would that look? How would making this work long-term actually look?” She pointed harshly in the direction of the bathroom, willing him to remember the night he had come here, bullet in his side the least of the perils of this life. “You know what we do. You know who we work for. With him standing between this being a possibility and not, do you really want to have to make that choice?”
“I’ve already made it.” The certainty in his voice chilled her to her bones, not because she didn’t want it, but because she did and couldn’t.
“Don’t be stupid, Killian. Think about this. Gold is going to find out eventually -- he’s bound to. When we both start getting older at the same time, you think he’s not going to figure it out?” She waited until he nodded slowly before plowing on. “And then what? You know he wouldn’t let us stay together and age out of our deals before our debts are paid, and you know those debts are more than just one lifetime long. So the way I see it, everyone we’ve been trying to protect all these years becomes leverage, and one of us is going to have to kill the other to stay young, to keep working right up till the end.”
“We could…” Killian started, but trailed off as he realized what Emma already had -- that there was nothing they could do.
“And then...” Emma said softly, gently, because she knew the idea of three hundred more years alone was hurting him. Because she could tell by the hardening of his expression that he would agree to kill her so at least one of them would be free.
She wasn’t about to let him, because she was going to do the same.
“And then,” she continued, “Whoever’s left is going to have to take on your debt too, keep your family safe, because that’s the least they can do.”
He caught on instantly. “You’re not doing that,” he said firmly. “It’s me or nobody. You deserve--”
“I deserve to know I did something worthwhile for once in my goddamn life.” She reached out and took his hand again, knitting their fingers together and looking down at them instead of at him. “You’ve got two people to protect, Killian. I have...more than that. And you’ve been in this long enough.”
He didn’t say anything more for several long moments, bringing their joined hands up and pressing his lips against her knuckles. When she looked up at him she could see him thinking, and when his gaze eventually locked with hers, the blue of his eyes was soft but deep with resolve.
“Then we kill Gold,” he said.
She laughed a little, the sound half-strangled and incredulous.“What?”
“If someone has to go in order for this to work, I vote him. I don’t want to have to compromise, Emma. I don’t want one of us to have to leave the other to an eternity of killing soulmate after soulmate to continue drowning in debt. I want to live, and I want you to live, and I want us to live -- actually live, and not hop from job to job -- and I want it to be together.”
“He runs a business built of assassins, Killian. We’d never leave the office…” We’d never leave the office alive, she was about to say. But what if they didn’t have to enter the office in the first place?
Gold never told any of his assassins where his house was, never let any hint drop about where it was that he was most vulnerable. Except for one.
“Middle of the night at the house,” she said, a true smile spreading across her face as it all became possible. “I know how to get in. I know where he’ll be.” She’d thought about it before, of course, but seven-figure debt and a long list of people who needed protecting had always stood in her way. But with someone else’s loved ones on the line, with someone else on the line, and with what could be a future standing on the other side, the plan practically formed itself. And she was all in.
“And you’re sure about this?”
“Yes.” Her smile turned wicked and she loved the irony as she said, “I hope you got the rifle out of the ceiling.”
It was only fair that the gun meant for Gold’s soulmate would do the job.
Killian’s answering grin was brilliant, his eyes glittering in the dim light. “One final hit,” he promised.
She finished his sentence easily, the future finally stretching before her in a long, shining road whose end she could finally see. “Together.”
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auburnfamilynews · 6 years
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The Auburn freight train got knocked off the tracks. (John Bazemore, AP Photo.)
     War Eagle, everybody. It’s time now for the Acid Reign Report on Auburn’s 28-7 loss to Georgia in the SEC Championship Game. It has been a challenging year for the Tigers, but I’d have to judge it a fun one, overall. The pressure has been on, with “hot seat” being the prevailing topic of conversation the past couple of seasons. After an exceptionally horrific loss in Baton Rouge in October, Auburn went on a tear. An undefeated romp through Amen Corner in November ensued, and Auburn knocked off Number One-ranked Georgia AND Alabama, in the span of two weeks. National title dreams danced before Tiger eyes. It all came crashing off the tracks in Atlanta, in the SEC Title Game.
     This will be a little bit of a departure from my usual post-game grading style. It was a disappointing loss, to be sure. But I can’t bring myself to ding various players for “points off here for…” stuff after the effort these young men showed this season. Instead, I’ll try to point out the positives, from this game.
     First off, kudos to Georgia. I had opined prior to this game that Auburn won big in the trenches in the last matchup, and there was no reason that would not continue in this game. Georgia did not stand pat. The Georgia coaches changed strategy on both sides of the ball, to minimize damage done by key Auburn standouts. Then, Auburn was missing its running game for this one, make no mistake. With a one-dimensional attack against a good Georgia defense, it was an uphill battle all the way.
     Before this game, I gave a nod of approval to Georgia offensive coordinator Jim Chaney. He showed his stuff, in this game. Auburn has been killing offenses in the middle of the line. Georgia did a good job this game of getting the game out on the perimeter on the toss sweep. This is the most signature, basic play in the old pro-I offense, but sometimes it gets overlooked, in the modern fancy, read-based offensive era. Georgia has both a pair of runners, and a tight end and fullback that will all will likely be playing football on Sunday for years to come. Auburn slowed the toss down for maybe 3 quarters, but paid a price. Pressure on freshman Georgia quarterback Jake Fromm was less, and he made some good plays as a result.
     On offense, we knew Kerryon Johnson looked done for the season late in the Iron Bowl. Somehow, KJ started this game, and got some carries. Honestly, I wish the team had let him heal. He was a shell of his midseason self, and it was a big risk to his future health, to play him. KJ gave his all, as usual. In the bigger picture, Auburn’s running plan was a shell game, mainly trying to beat UGA with speed sweeps and QB keepers. It didn’t take Kirby and Georgia long to figure out that Auburn was no threat running up the middle.
     With the running game stalled, Auburn looked to the passing game. The mesh/crossing pattern plays that beat Alabama were gone. Georgia had one or two linebackers dropping into those lanes, and there was nowhere to throw the ball into those spaces, without risking a turnover. Georgia was also able to avoid being outnumbered on the quick screens to the sideline. The Bulldog plan was to keep those contained, and make the tackle. Sure, Auburn completed probably a dozen of those passes, but most catches were put down on the ground with less than 5 yards gained. I was reminded of Tommy Tuberville’s defensive philosophy, on those. “We’ll let you throw it 5 yards to the sideline. But we are going to make the tackle. You won’t be able to complete enough of those to move it down the field, and score.”
     Special teams have had issues this season for Auburn, and this week’s gaffe was a high snap, and a subsequently blocked field goal attempt. I couldn’t find much fault, otherwise, there. Aiden Marshall is getting better and better each week, punting the football. Daniel Carlson continues to be a weapon on kickoffs, as well as extra points and field goals. We can’t blame a 21-point loss on one blocked field goal.
Meandering musings, after the jump!
     On the defensive line, Auburn had uncharacteristic struggles. To neutralize the best edge pass rusher in the SEC, Georgia ran right at Auburn end Jeff Holland, and sent lots of blockers his way. Holland finished with 2 total tackles on the night, none for loss, no hurries, and no sacks. Also, with the flow of most run and pass plays to the sideline, this took inside Auburn men Russell, Brown and Williams out of the game as well.
     I have to credit the Auburn linebackers for keeping Auburn in the ball game as long as they did. They were stuck trying to chase down NFL-level Georgia backs on the boundary, and for the most part, kept things in check. Auburn sorely missed having senior Tre’ Williams in the game, in the second half. Williams has been superb the past two seasons, at getting the Tiger front seven aligned.
     The secondary become more and more shorthanded, as the game progressed. Top cornerback Carlton Davis could not go, in the second half, and Tray Matthews seemed limited. Matthews is a great redemption story. He was one of the defensive backs involved in Auburn’s famous 2013 “Miracle in Jordan Hare!” play that went for a 73-yard game-winning touchdown, as a Georgia Bulldog. Matthews transferred to Auburn, and has been quite a leader for the Tigers over the past 3 years. I feel like Matthews has turned his life around, and will be very successful at whatever he does, going forward.
     It has been a rough year on special teams, this year. However, on SEC title day, this unit mostly came through, expect for the aforementioned blocked field goal.
     Auburn’s offensive line faced a good Georgia front that had a renewed focus on effort. In my opinion, Auburn’s offensive line held their own. Georgia made it a point to have more guys in the box than the line could block. Auburn has made hay this season on running the ball despite a numbers disadvantage, but that was not happening this day, given running back injuries.
     One of the most frustrating things about the past three seasons has been running back attrition. Auburn has gone though SO many guys. The coaching staff has done a great job getting talent into this position. And so many have gone down. Peyton Barber left early for the NFL. Roc Thomas transferred to Jax State. Jovon Robinson was booted from the team. Kamryn Pettway has spent parts of two years hurt. Kerryon Johnson has been in and out of the starting lineup. Kam Martin has been hurt, and limited. Auburn has had some great backs during the Malzhan era. Keeping them healthy and eligible has been a problem.
     I can’t really blame the receivers at all, for the result in the SEC Title game. This time, they weren’t able to make a play, because the ball largely did not get to them. Still, I have to take my hats off to this group. They were the keystone cops, early in the season, with tons of dropped balls. Those dried up in November of this year, and this became a unit no one wanted to face. Auburn has a ton of talent coming back here, and the future is bright.
     A lot was put on quarterback Jarrett Stidham in this game. He was asked not only to continue to blister a good Georgia defense, but he was also asked to win the game solely on his own arm, and scrambling ability. It is important to remember that Stidham is only in his first full year as a starter. I don’t think even Cam Newton or Pat Sullivan could have won this game, with the running back situation.
     I was very, very worried in the aftermath of this game. We knew Arkansas was coming on a poaching run, and reportedly they offered coach Malzhan over 7 million dollars a year to come jump to Arkansas. I was VERY worried about what the Auburn administration would do (or not do), with lame-duck athletic director Jay Jacobs on his way out. We’ve been mighty frustrated, mad-as-hell and concerned about a real lack of transparency out of the administration this year.
     I will make no secret of the fact that there are a lot of things I find irritating about how Gus Malzahn deals with the press, and dispenses information. We Auburn fans have been spoiled by past Auburn coaches like Pat Dye, Terry Bowden and Tommy Tuberville. Those guys would spit out one-liners like no one’s business. There was seldom any doubt about where they stood on this issue or that one, and they gave tons of feedback on what was happening with the program. Gus ain’t that guy!
     Expectations are high, at Auburn. That’s a fact. When expectations aren’t met, Auburn folks do not meekly accept that. For better or worse, Auburn folks will complain loudly, and often. There is a tradition taught to all Auburn folks that one can work oneself out of all issues. That’s the answer, don’t accept mediocrity, and work through all issues. Coach Malzahn has run afoul of that philosophy a few times, and we certainly have seen a ton of calls for his head here in this space.
     My take was that this is a very bad time to be looking for a new head coach in the SEC. Florida had to break the bank to get Dan Mullen, a guy who’s SEC record is currently 32 wins and 40 losses. Texas A&M has had to pony up $75 million over ten years to get Jimbo Fisher. Fisher wasn’t even top dog in the ACC, in recent years. Tennessee thus far has no takers, having been turned down by a dozen coaches. Think about that. Tennessee. A stadium that holds over 100,000 rabid fans, and has a ton of alumni with deep pockets, can’t find a coach willing to take the job.
     For better or worse, head coach Gus Malzahn coordinated the best offense in Auburn history in 2010, and was part of a national title. As a head coach, he has won the SEC West twice in 5 years. Texas A&M, LSU, Arky, MSU, and Ole Miss have not. Lack of communication aside, Malzhan’s teams win consistently. We’ll never be happy with his post game pressers, but we have had tons of joy on the playing field. Malzahn has put together a string of top ten recruiting classes during his tenure, and looks to have another one lined up. Kudos to the Auburn admins for keeping him away from Arkansas, and back at Auburn for years to come. Us peanut-gallery types will gripe and complain every time Auburn loses a game over future seasons, but I hope everyone understands that we could do far, far worse. Here in this space, I’d like to thank coach Malzahn for the joy he’s brought to our Auburn hearts, and we are glad to have him back. It had to have been a difficult decision for him and his family.
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