#porthos meta
Note
The Musketeers absolutely live rent-free in my head right now, so if I may present, a moment in praise of Porthos?
I love dearest Porthos, for although the adaptations turn him into a buffoon (excepting the BBC version, where he's absolutely brilliant), he's such a sweet man. He has his moments of being an utter heel (his communications with Coquenard come to mind), but there are moments where his good heart shines through.
I think of his opposition to d'Artagnan's plan to get rid of Bonacieux (a plan that, to be fair, actually came back to bite d'Art later), which Porthos readily identifies as being really unkind. That he makes sure d'Artagnan eats something when he comes to visit him at the inn. Also, way back at the start of the book, Porthos trying to protect Athos from de Tréville's wrath. xD That he defends the queen's honour when Aramis -- of all people! -- makes that infamous remark!
In Twenty Years After, his loneliness is heartbreaking -- all Porthos wants to do is be boisterous and spar with people, but everyone's afraid of this giant of a man. Yet, he speaks in the manner of a gentle older brother when d'Artagnan is worrying about meeting with Athos and Aramis prior to the scene with the argument -- Porthos has his doubts that Athos or Aramis would harm them, but he calmly tells d'Artagnan they'll go and see what happens. He tears up when everyone reconciles, delighted to have his friends reunited and once more in concert with each other.
I think I love him, your honour. Dearest Porthos, the heart of the group. =)
I am very grateful for your on point descriptions of the lovely Musketeers. 💕 Porthos does in fact have the biggest heart!! It‘s so big that he cannot even turn his back on his friends when they go down the wrong path, endangering his life. More Porthos love woohoo!! And it would obviously be nice to see him portrayed as justly as in BBC musketeers more often.
#the musketeers#les trois mousquetaires#the three musketeers#bbc musketeers#vingt ans après#twenty years later#alexandre dumas#porthos meta#porthos
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Series asks:
• The Terror
• The Musketeers
• the last movie you watched
Marvellously the last film I watched was LOTR, which makes this beautifully easy! Also I want to sue for making me choose just one husband-candidate from the Terror character list, this is nothing but pure biphobia.
The Terror
Character I’d want as a best friend. - Depending on my mood it would either be Bridgens (sweet, gentle, loves books, will clearly be a comforting presence) or Fitzjames (gossipy, kinda bitchy, would enjoy drag brunch and hopefully sharing his fabulous wardrobe with me).
Character I’d want as a parent. – I was going to say MacDonald, as he’s just so nice and dry-witted and shaped like kindness, but honestly one of the fundamental rules of life is that you can't think your parent is hot and Charles Edwards remains an absolute dish, so it's gonna have to be Captain 'Grumpy Pants' Crozier here.
Character I’d want as a sibling. - Irving, my troubled dweeby little baby queer: I have so many queer Christian groups to share with you.
Character I’d want as a significant other. – SOL TOZER. LOOK AT MY TAGS. THIS MUCH IS APPARENT. He's loyal, he's snarky, he's genuinely protective of his men, he's the hottest one of the bunch and clearly takes orders well: which is basically my dream husband. Because I'm greedy I will also dub Fitzjames and Hartnell as very close runners-up: two absolute Good Eggs who also happen to be very pretty.
Character I’d want as a child. – Honest to God, if I could pop baby Thomas Evans into a sling like a baby kangaroo and carry him around all day, I would, with his curls and his pinchable cheeks and his heartbreaking loyalty to his buddies.
Character I’d want as a weird inlaw. – There is only one possible right answer for this, and that answer is Thomas ‘Monsterfucker’ Blanky.
BBC Musketeers
Character I’d want as a best friend. - Porthos, 100% the best musketeers of the bunch.
Character I’d want as a parent. – Obviously Captain Treville; apparently a specific blorbo-type I have is ‘gruff figure of authority who would die for anyone under their command’ and Treville was definitely a foundational blorbo here.
Character I’d want as a sibling. - Sylvie only had a single series and I'm still gutted about it; not only do I think she'd be a great sibling but we could overthrow the government together.
Character I’d want as a significant other. – I didn't spend several years spamming your feeds with reams of d'Artagnan gifsets and meta not to dub him my honorary husband now.
Character I’d want as a child. – Aramis: granted he’s an adult man but I feel like he needs a full-time parent just to tell him what not to put his dick in.
Character I’d want as a weird inlaw. – Can you imagine going to family dinners and having Louis as an in-law? Those meals would be so messy, I would absolutely love that.
LOTR
Character I’d want as a best friend. – I would argue that pretty much the entire point of the trilogy is ‘you will never get a best friend better than Samwise Gamgee’, so obviously my answer’s gotta be Sam. We both like gardening, planting, being snarky little shits and loving Frodo Baggins so we’d probably get on.
Character I’d want as a parent. – Absolutely Theoden: Bernard Hill’s delivery of ‘no parent should ever have to bury their child’ ruined me twenty-two years ago and honestly I’ve never quite recovered. (He makes such a good dad!!)
Character I’d want as a sibling. – Boromir is the archetypal big brother; I would bond with him over adorable hobbits and being aspec so so much.
Character I’d want as a significant other. – My little eleven-year-old self’s crush on both Pippin and Merry was a significantly formative period in my life, so honestly, either of them. They’re both Good Eggs, we can bond over cooking, Pippin can make me laugh lots and Merry can compensate for my utter inability to plan anything ever.
Character I’d want as a child. – Those two adorable baby hobbit kiddos played by Peter Jackson's kids.
Character I’d want as a weird inlaw. – Gandalf is the only weird inlaw.
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ROUND 1 MATCH LIST
NOTE: This bracket has been SEEDED. This means that characters with more submissions initially go up against those with less submissions. However, some characters with only one submission are characters I know to be very popular, perhaps because of the "everyone must have submitted them already" effect... let's see how this goes.
Round 1 polls will last a week so people in various fandoms have time to realise their favourite characters are in the poll. Length of time for other polls tbd.
OUR COMPETITORS
Gideon Nav vs Peko Pekoyama.
The Three Musketeers (Athos, Porthos and Aramis, I'm not separating them) vs Darth Vader.
Sasha Waybright vs Mulan
Rose Quartz vs D'Artagnan
Percy Jackson vs King Arthur
Clare vs Anomander Rake
Dave Strider vs Finn Mertens
Pearl vs Zorro
Roronoa Zoro vs Vasher
Camilla Hect vs Weiss Schnee
Crona vs Qui-Gon Jinn
Connie Maheswaran vs Obi-Wan Kenobi
Aragorn vs Michonne
Geralt of Rivia vs Zagreus
Utena vs Yu Jiaolong
Westley vs Duncan MacLeod
Leonardo Hamato vs Deadpool
Luke Skywalker vs Cloud Strife
Meta Knight vs Dante
Ghirahim vs Blade
Sokka vs Alanna the Lioness
He-Man vs Count Dooku
Nico di Angelo vs Vergil
Adora vs Mace Windu
Inigo Montoya vs Tain Hu
Gomez Addams vs Li Mu Bai
Puss In Boots vs Sephiroth
Kai Smith vs the Wilkinson Sword couple
Adolin Kholin vs Xena
Erza Scarlett vs Madame Vastra
Elspeth Tirel vs Yu Shu Lien
Link vs Carrot Ironfoundersson
POLLS BEGIN SOON
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Everything after ENT is a holoprogram.
Years later, Trip ran back into his baby daddy’s species. A lasting friendship between them led to him learning their holographic technology. When he finally retired from ship life, his hobby of tinkering with holographic code turned into a full-blown career.
Kirk was a younger but more polished Archer. No surprise Trip gives him a Vulcan XO. He made him a hybrid as a tribute to Elizabeth. Bones was based on a grouchy uncle.
He starts with the species they know, but before long he’s inventing all kinds of things, sometimes borrowing from alien lore. The series is so popular he comes up with spin-offs.
Trip eventually indulges in a self-insert character, a blonde in love with an alien who loves movies and working on cars. He tries to give him a bad boy backstory to make him more interesting, but it never really takes. Trip has no experience in that world and it just doesn’t stick. But the character does come off as weirdly gay for his uptight fellow crewman. Everyone is afraid to point this out to Trip as he seems blissfully unaware. He later gave the character a penchant for writing holonovels.
The day he named their mysterious cybernetic foes (’ya know, short for Cyborg, get it?’) and brought them into his stories, T’Pol looked at him as though it was the dumbest thing she had ever heard. It was massively popular. He wound up having to write borg after borg story to satisfy the market. He almost wished he had never come up with it.
He made Janeway a short queen like Hoshi and a dog lover in Porthos’ honor. Phlox, who had just discovered the wonderful world of coffee and become quite obsessed himself, suggested that character quirk.
In reality the Federation lives pretty happily topping out at about twenty member worlds. Things are pretty routine. The fictional idea of the future starts to get a little out of hand as Trip runs out of ideas, but people keep buying it. T’Pol tries to advise him to keep things in the realm of believability, but it’s often a losing battle. She’s responsible for most of the things that actually make sense.
Ironically, it’s T’Pol that often suggests the time travel scenarios. She becomes quite fascinated with how it might work. If it did. To the degree that Trip gives Janeway a headache over it, mirroring his own.
One day he wrote what he thought was a fun meta thing where they were actually the characters and the characters were real and he died. T’Pol made him delete it.
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The Musketeers Reaction: The Challenge
Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]
Now with BONUS: meta analysis :) (But Wench might post that separately later too... she hasn't decided)
[Oh, no, a prisoner transfer! That always goes badly; just ask CTU (from 24)]
Well shit
Well…. SHIT THIS MAN A BEAST [Yup!]
“Stay out of this, damn you” Let us get our asses kicked by one man.. on our own [Red Guards be prideful dumbasses]
Wot? WOT?! WHAT!?! [Tenth Doctor-coded, you are] ☠️☠️☠️ [But also, agreed. They explicitly warned the Red Guard. And then tried to help. Not their fault the RG didn't listen 💀] Right!?!
No one asked you, man child
WHAT, ARE THEY ALL CHILDREN??? [Yes]
OOOP- awwwwww [Dangerous for him and Constance to do that in broad daylight tho]
Well their relationship has escalated
[OH, LOOK, HER HUSBAND; WHAT. DID I SAY.] ☠️☠️☠️☠️ [Awkward, that is.]
Blech
Sweet lord [Indeed]
Do they not get paid? [Kinda but also... money got spent… It's not much, I don't think]
[They're Tinder-ing in church ☠️] Im dying [Porthos swiped right on the widow alkdsfj] Trying to say something and these two are distracting me [I adore them] Ok, so anyway… I’m guessing D’art does it, wins, and then becomes a Musketeer
Poor d’Art
Y’all two really trying to swindle money from grieving women… MEN [Only one was grieving. The other was having an affair, since those are highly common] ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️
Imma. Oooop… Second-hand embarrassment [She's covering for him :)] ☠️☠️☠️
☠️☠️☠️ Oooop she ain’t grieving too hard [I'm sorry, but they're kinda cute] They are
“You’re cute”
☠️☠️☠️ Aramis is gonna get the money and Porthos is gonna get a wife [adslkfjlksadjf]
Candle sniffer? Is that a person? ☠️☠️☠️ [Candle snuffer, dear] I know 😂
["Too often, you let your emotions get the better of you" "Can we just get on with it" Sir, that. Proves the point] ☠️☠️☠️
Oooop, I see what you’re doing, Athos
Blech
[I love Peter Capaldi]
Oooop. That might not go well
[Love lines like "I can see you are a man of quick intelligence"... they’re always passive-aggressive digs]
How did he not see him? Or hear that? They are quite incompetent
[OH SHIT I REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THIS]
Oooooop
“You killed my father” [he’s making a habit of this] “I mean, burned down my farm. Prepare to die”
Well damn [This has gone badly for young d'Artagnan] d’Art, how do you really think this is gonna play out
[Of course Athos had to save him ☠️] ☠️☠️
Awwww [They turned it in a different direction, but I usually detest "I'm not like *you*" statements]
“Get some rest!” How about dry off?
Bruh where did the rain go?
Bitch (Milady), why ain’t you ded?
[This is what I meant by “I remember what happens after this” btw] Let me breathe on your mouth for a moment [Shut up]
“Leave me alone, Athos” Ma’am you came to him??? Womennnn
“I thought you had brains, but clearly not.” Athos, what has he done for you to think that? [alskdfjlsakdjf This is a valid question]
– – –
Jezebel: Welp! First off the level of ack I feel about friends having to fight each other in a competition is like…. Skyrocketing. Idk if it’s gonna be as awkward (they each think they will win, disappointment if they don’t) but I feel awkward about it lol!
Wench: You underestimate their loyalty, dear… I'm reasonably — like 90% — confident that they're only, like, half-competing. Because this is the current main way they know to get d'Art his commission and he's running out of time. And these three are, it's heavily implied, the best of the regiment so it’s kinda foolish to send a new recruit unless it’s more about getting him the commission.
Jezebel: Ohhhh they letting him win?
Wench: I suspect they've already gone to Treville and been like. “Don't consider us for the tournament.” I don't know for sure, but that's always been my interpretation. Also, it's less "letting him win" and more "nudging him in the right direction and giving him sway with Treville." Buddy's from Gascony and got that hot-headed pride thing going; he wouldn't accept their charity any more than he'd accept their money
Jezebel: Ohhhhhh! I see!! I love them! 🙂
Wench: At least Athos, since he's heavily training d'Art to compete. I'm less sure about Flort because they seem to kinda need the money 💀
Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️☠️ Gonna be another: (Athos) “We weren't gonna try to win” -> (Porthos) “Weren't we?” -> (Aramis) “Next time let us know” things
Wench: aslkdjflkadsjf Exactly!!!
Jezebel: It feels like as of rn they have put Milady in the ep…. Just so she’s in the ep ☠️ Not that I’m complaining she’s aight but she just seems random
Wench: You ain't seen shit yet. Also, in case you missed this, they're Heavily paralleling Athos and d'Artagnan in this ep. Her being there is definitely intentional.
Jezebel: Yes! I have 😂 Athos even said it ☠️
Wench: Ma'am. He said one overt "you're more like me than you know"; that is not paralleling ☠️ And, if it were, it’s not the extent of the paralleling either
Jezebel: Aight lay me out the parallels 😂😂
Wench: I'll tell you in endpoint; it's easier to avoid mincing my words
Jezebel: Speaking of tho! I LOVE ATHOS TRAINING DART SM OMG!!! And Flort are just fucking chaos. ☠️☠️ I love them! Porthos trying to talk to the widow tho was fucking adorable
Wench: I adore them all
Jezebel: Ready?
Wench: Yup!
– – –
Ooooop
Ma’am!
She is so pretty tho 😮💨😮💨😮💨😮💨
Oooooop! Oooooooooooooop!!
No, she didn’t
Oh nooooo ["Who else is just going to walk up and hand me 30 livres" Well, ya see-] THIS IS WHY YOU ARE DUMB [Constance was]
PORTHOS!
OOOOP she’s giving him that look
[never trust "it doesn't matter"s]
HE BRUSHED HER HAIR BACK WITH HIS PINKY!? THAT WAS ADORABLE
Ooooop!
[I kinda adore them; sorry to your Portamis plotting ☠️ ] (Porthos) “What was I supposed to be getting again?” (Aramis) “….. NOT THAT”
[Shocker, the marksman won the shooting competition alksdfj] Aramis and that damn hat ☠️☠️☠️ [Oh, and the close-combat dude won the close-combat skirmish; who knew? :)] OH THIS GIF SET!
Athos watching all proud [*simultaneously* Also, in point of fact, I'm not actually sure Athos is competing at all]
Angry face
HE DIDNT FLINCH
“No control….” Buddy. You knew this. Ahead of time. Why are you acting like it's new???
I see what you’re doing… Le gasp! CARDINAL YOU ARE INSANE!
PORTHOS!
Dawwwww
Ma’am! SO ARE YOU
Okay, not the last one. But two out of three isn’t bad!
[Whoops]
Ma’am… It- Y’all- Sir. THEY ARE SO PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER [Because they're so dumb? :)] Yes
OOOP
He gone beat the hell out of herrrrr… Those things were allowed back then
Oooop
OOOOP
[Protective!Athos unlocked asldkfj] Ooooop!
Treville knows he’s letting the guy fight huh? [Not saying :)]
POOR DART! [Poor Constance] I KNOW
💔💔💔💔 The break in his voice when he said I want you
POOOR CONSTANCE
“Her name’s Alice” Oooop- [Callback to your earlier “Aramis is gonna get the money and Porthos is gonna get a wife” !!!] Jealous Aramis
The Musketeers are like WOT
[Bruh. Swordsman??? It's a. Sword contest. I know Athos didn't seem to be competing in the initial bracket. But also. If the point is to win. ???]
They look like guard dogs ready to attack
[Once again, a very Doctor Who score… (Again, same dude, but it especially shows here)] lol!
There goes the hat
[Also, gotta love Athos getting ready to throw hands the second Treville's arm got injured alksdjf] Yes!!! [Man was taking off his cloak in 0 time]
Welp ok. King making up for all the childish behavior
[d'Artagnan needed to have his heart broken to not let it sway his actions ☠️] 💔💔💔💔
Ooooop! He’s doing the thing! The thing Athos did! [:))))]
Whoooop whooooop! [I must say. It's. It's kinda biased. To have the King. Judging an assessment. Involving the King's Musketeers] ☠️☠️☠️☠️
Oooooo! Whoooop whoooop!
[Adore the fact that Athos gets to give it to him]
Ooooop! She’s been had! [Why is she surprised that the scheming, manipulating, control-freak Cardinal was being a scheming, manipulating, control-freak??] ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ [Also, I'm sorry, but the Athos/Milady storyline is something that is so delectably twisted I can't even... I'll explain some in endpoint] ☠️☠️☠️☠️
“d’Art is the key” ‘Cause he’s dumb
Sighhhh, womennnn
💔💔💔💔💔
Ack! DON’T DO IT
HE DONE IT
HE DIDN’T DO IT
OOOOP! She’s confused!
– – –
Jezebel: Basic summary: Poor d’Art! But also YAY D’ART! But then poor Constance. No really 💔💔💔💔 POOR CONSTANCE. But Miladys face when he didn’t get in the carriage? stunned 😀
Wench: Indeed
Jezebel: Also I didn’t absolutely hate the king this episode. He seemed competent ☠️☠️ I retract my earlier statements about him 😂😂
Wench: Ma'am. He was still being the same childish king he's always been; he just happened to be childish in favor of the protagonists.
Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️ ok fair
Wench: He just threw a competition as a way of proving that his men were better than the Cardinal's, and then he rigged that competition, and then he took the prize money on top of that laksdjf
Jezebel: This… is also true 😂😂 Anyway 😂 ummmmm… oh yeah! Porthossss 💔💔 he was so soft and non-tough-guy with Alice it was adorable. And the “Who’ll look after you?” to Aramis???? 💕💕 (When she leaves)
Wench: Yeah :)
Jezebel: And Papa Treville! And how they all was like yeah fuck the competition soon as he got hurt! I love it! And I did mention up there the look on Milady’s face when the lil dummy she was so sure she could seduce didn’t take the bait ☠️☠️ Now that may change I guess! But that was satisfying that he wasn’t like “well, bye, Constance; hello, Milady!”
Wench: This is true, and it's nice that he's not fickle... Fits in with his character, though, for the most part, so I'm not horribly shocked
Jezebel: Athos tho! I loved him this whole episode! And his little "get down there before he changes his mind" (with a smirk)
Wench: Yesssss
Jezebel: Uhhhhh… the only thing I can say about Athos and Milady’s scene together was already said in the react, but how she was all “lemme stalk you” and then all “HMPH stop stalking me”... Like!?!?
Wench: You still don’t see the parallels?
Jezebel: Nope ☠️☠️ Just tell me
Wench: *sigh* Okay
Jezebel: 🙂
Wench: For reference, btw, we only have two more s1 episodes left. Now, first, some contextual parallels: Have you noticed the running theme of scarring/binding/tying in Athos' and Milady's backstories?
Jezebel: Um. I- no? Maybe? You say that and all I think is her being hanged but I can’t remember where else it is happening or do you mean figuratively
Wench: Yes and no. That’s the obvious example. She was hanged. She still "bears the token of [his] love" in the scar that remains. She covers it up with a fine necklace --- a choker --- to obscure her past. But less obviously... He still wears her locket. She says that he gave her a necklace, and he still wears the chain that represents her around his neck. Half the time he's drinking, his head is literally bowed by it. Also, in his intro, the locket is the first real thing we see of his character. He's hungover and drinking first, yes, but the second he gets his bearing/sits up, he pulls out the locket. And that's before he even gets dressed/does his wake-up ritual. Within that locket is a pressed forget-me-not (or an icon of the flower, but the point remains... a forget-me-not). Additionally, the first time we see her, she's manipulating things so that he gets imprisoned --- weaponizing justice the same way she feels was done against her --- and quite literally manacled in the process. Et cetera, et cetera.
Jezebel: Ok, so see! This is what I mean by I may see a parallel but would never see it that deep! I would see he wears her locket with a forget me not inside and be like ohhhhh he is like tormenting himself. And this I would not think about it again. I would have never caught the choker being symbolic just that she needed something that fit to her neck… or she couldn’t hide the scar
Wench: And that's shown in their interactions too… In "Commodities," for example, when they both are back at Pinon: after she’s knocked him to the ground, she literally pulls him up to meet the dagger by the locket chain.
Still Wench: And yet it’s also why she can’t go through with killing him; she's so distracted by it that she takes too long and d'Artagnan shows up.
Jezebel: ☹️☹️☹️☹️ see now I caught that that threw her off ☠️☠️ I’m not fully unaware! 😂
Wench: Not surprised by this, but the scene still means more in context of the larger symbolism. Then you've got the episode we just watched, where you have the alley scene, in which she literally tugs him closer via the chain.
Once again back to Wench: But even beyond the literal symbolism that's emphasized overtly on screen, it's their literal storyline… They're each orbiting the other, unable to let go completely but unable to forgive and forget and move on either. Tied together by their mutual scarring --- whether literal or metaphorical --- and the literal ties that bind.
Jezebel: ☹️☹️☹️☹️ that is so sad and makes so much sense once pointed out omg
Wench: So. Why have I spent so long yapping about this? Because all of this context boils down to Milady deciding to sponsor d'Art. And what does she do for him? She gives him money, BUT. Attached to that money. Is nothing less than:
Still Wench: A necklace. More than that, a forget-me-not pendant on a chain.
Jezebel: I meant to mention that more! I think I was like oooop or something but at first I thought it was THE locket! Like i thought she’d got it off Athos
Wench: It's not, but what it is is a cheaper-quality pendant. It's not a locket; it's just an oval with a carving. It's stark and cold, harsh and engraved. Molded. Like, one might say, a woman who's been through shit and decided to embrace the role of criminal she feels shoved into. Athos', meanwhile, is a locket. It's got the actual flower, soft and natural and encapsulated in time. A happy memory encased in pendant form. But it's also not intact. It's old and withered and slightly tarnished: the necklace equivalent of that warm and happy glow they always use for the Athos/Milady flashbacks.
Jezebel: I am sitting here reading this like…. Bruh, these are blink and you’ll miss them moments and here she is just pulling full detailed parallels out of her ass…. But they make sense and make the characters so much deeper and sadder… ack
Wench: I'm boutta add a bit more, whoops :) Because this shows up in the context of Milady offering to sponsor d'Artagnan, right? She's offering him money. But the chain comes with the money. Her influence comes with the money. They have to go together, or they don't go at all. If he takes that money, he becomes even more indebted to her than he already was. And he does take it. And he takes the necklace (her "care," her influence, his debt to her) too. AND… this is what gets him and Constance in trouble. It's Bonacieux seeing d'Art and Milady together and discovering that necklace that prompts him to follow d'Art. It's Milady's meddling influence that keeps screwing things up for them. BUT it’s not all bad because, when the necklace goes missing and Constance asks about it, he dismisses it --- her influence, his debt to her --- as unimportant. He lets it go. She does it again --- not with a necklace, but still --- at the end: she offers him a ride in her carriage, and it’s just a simple offer, but with strings --- literally --- attached
Jezebel: (I was waiting cause it seemed you were gonna add more to that! Since he declines the offer)
Wench: Oh, no. Nothing immediately attached. But I will say... The more I (re)watch, the more I realize that she's got a lot of the archetypes of the devil figure. (That's the character who offers a temptation but gets control of you in return)
Jezebel: Oooooo! 👀 I can see that
Wench: She consistently offers things to people --- love to Athos, power to the Cardinal, a hodgepodge of things for d'Art --- but it's not as easy as it seems. With the sole exception of the Cardinal (because he's an unstable force that she can't fully manipulate), she gets nearly interminable power over the people who take her up on it
Still Wench: Anyway, that's the main but extensive parallel between Athos and d'Artagnan in this episode. Athos outright says, "you're more like me than you know" (paraphrased), and they show it, bit by bit, with this running symbolism. They're alike, but not the same. They have similar necklaces --- similar ties to Milady --- but not identical ones. d'Art hasn't and never will have the same opportunity to be influenced by her as Athos did --- he first met her when she framed him for murder, so he's not quite as inclined to trust her as Athos (who met her when she was either not the same person or pretending to not be the same person, depending on your interpretation) --- but he's nonetheless swayed by her. Similar, but not the same. See?
Jezebel: Yes! I do! 😂 though I never would have before! So thank you 😂😂😂
Wench: :) np! Any overall responses though? ☠️ I kinda took over
Jezebel: More of a question… Am I just seeing her look confused he didn’t get in the cart, or is that gonna play into this little “she can sway Dart to come to the Cardinal men” thing she had because she doesn’t have the hold over him she thinks?
Wench: Wot
Jezebel:
Wench: Hellooooo?
Jezebel:
Wench: Good night, dear
-- -- --
*the next morning*
Jezebel: I was falling asleep ☠️ but I can’t remember if you ever commented on if there was a point to be made about him not getting in the cart with her. Like he can resist her and she didn’t expect that, or something. And because it seemed like you hadn’t responded I was asking basically if I was looking too deep into it. Like sure maybe she was like: oh ok then. But to me she looked legitimately shocked, as this came right after her telling the Cardinal it would be easy to sway him in their favor. If that makes more sense ☠️😂
Wench: It does a bit, yeah, and, to answer… I kinda adressed it, but only a bit, with the "She does it again --- not with a necklace, but still --- at the end: she offers him a ride in her carriage, and it’s just a simple offer, but with strings --- literally --- attached.” It's another way of drawing him closer/getting him under her influence. And she's feeling Really Confident --- as you said --- about her skill at influencing him. But what he does is a) show loyalty and b) show love. (Both for Constance, but still). This is particularly important because, if you think back to the pilot when they *coughs discreetly behind my fan* laid together, he saw the scar around her neck, asked about it, and, upon hearing that her husband had her almost killed, offers to kill said husband for her. So what we have here is a conflict between her influence and the other people in d'Artagnan's life, and she's been counting on her influence being strongest. (Which is partly because that's how it worked with Athos... even now, buddy can't move on.) But she just got proof that it's very clearly not. He just prioritized Constance (someone who'd just broken up with him, too, and seemingly very cruelly, even if Milady didn't know that) over her, and that's a sign that maybe she's too used to her own allure working and she's misjudged d'Artagnan's character, But it's just a minor thing, so it's not panic yet, just confusion. Does that make sense?
Jezebel: Yes! 🙂
Wench: Good... I feel like half of this shit is not what it is in my head laksdfj
Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ doubt it, because everything you say makes so much sense
Wench: ☠️😭
Jezebel: The emojissssss
Wench: Shut up But I have had months to think about this. And more since the book.
Jezebel: That was all I had for endpoint though! I just really wanted your two way more than two but I love it cents on that look
-- -- --
Wench edit, many days later: It's occurring to me that those "oop"s are very incomprehensible but idk what they referred to, so I can't put in signal phrasing... sorry :] (Blame Jezebel)
#jezebel (pr)#musketeers#the musketeers#bbc musketeers#bbc musketeers reactions#athos#porthos#aramis#d'artagnan#portamis#<very heavy this time#s01e08#the challenge
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arguments for making the Enterprise novels canon:
1) Trip doesn’t die
but more importantly
2)
Had Hernandez, who had never been sanguine about making love in Porthos’s presence—and was allergic to pet dander to boot—not issued a fateful it’s-me-or-the-beagle ultimatum, the lives and careers of both captains might have taken radically different trajectories.
Erika Hernandez breaks up with Archer because she doesn’t want to fuck in front of his dog and that is hilarious
(and she is an immaculate queen and I love her)
bonus shrancher fic idea where Shran courts Archer by getting Porthos to like him with cheese-based bribery, “your canine has chosen ME, pinkskin!”
#star trek#star trek enterprise#enterprise#shran#jonathan archer#shrancher#quotes#meta#novels#kobayashi maru#thy'lek shran#erika hernandez#porthos#otp: we keep doing each other favors#star trek: enterprise
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Musketeer March Day 3 - Favourite rare pair
(Welcome to “Flower tries photo editing” and also me being basic as hell.)
Porthos and Elodie may be canon but they’re not particularly popular - they have a total of 45 fics on AO3. And a lot of people think that Porthos deserved better.
Now, don’t get me wrong: Porthos deserved better in a lot of ways. But he didn’t deserve better than Elodie.
All of his romances are short (one episode each for Flea, which is more of a short rekindling of an old flame, and Alice, two episodes for Elodie). Porthos falls in love quickly and easily and is always dreaming of more, as much as he loves his life in the Musketeers. But the women he falls in love with don’t fit into his life - Flea and he shared a home but it was hers, not his, and he needed more. Alice could not accept a big part of his life, the fighting and the means of living and the outlet it provides to him.
Elodie understands that way of life, that soldier soul, and she knows that a part of him will always belong to his duty and his brothers. She knows that she can’t keep him. But she knows that he would do all he can to protect her and her daughter, and he does by marrying her and making sure the world knows they belong together. And meanwhile, she won’t be the sort of wife sitting around and waiting for her husband to come home. I am convinced that Constance and her will become friends from the get-go and show Paris that you underestimate a Musketeer wife at your own peril.
Porthos and Elodie deserved better - they deserved a long, slow, season-spanning romance. But they didn’t deserve better than each other.
#musketeermarch#musketeermarch2021#the musketeers#porthos#elodie#Flower does things#meta#well sort of#just have some thoughts about Porthos and Elodie and an attempt at photo editing
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Tag drop: Athos
#tag drop#[ athos. ] did you hear all that? / mm. / what are you going to do about it? / i'm going to drink.#[ athos / threads. ] draw if you wish. it will be our duty to kill you. and incidentally our pleasure.#[ athos / answered ic. ] talent won't keep you alive if your heart rules your head.#[ athos / answered etc. ] we are king's musketeers. / so answer the question. politely.#[ athos / cast. ] i think they need our help. / they're just too shy to ask.#[ athos / visage. ] we all have our deep secrets and hidden emotions. allow me to keep mine to myself.#[ athos / tom burke. ] how do I know you won't betray me? / i'm going to pretend I didn't hear that.#[ athos / relevance. ] athos is held in the highest regard by his fellow musketeers. his disgrace will strike a deadly blow.#[ athos / meta. ] will your man win? / athos is the best swordsman in the regiment.#[ athos / et cetera. ] what happened to the code? / oh. who has time?#[ athos / musketeers. ] wherever we draw breath. make a stand. save a life. that is the garrison. we are the garrison.#[ athos / dyn: milady. ] you still wear my locket. why? / sometimes i ask myself the same question. / shall I show you why?#[ athos / dyn: aramis. ] i cannot believe you slept with the queen! / i thought you didn't see anything.#[ athos / dyn: porthos. ] his courage has never been in question. and his tactical instincts saved us all.#[ athos / dyn: d'artagnan. ] you let your emotions run away with you. talent won’t keep you alive if your heart rules your head.#[ athos / dyn: anne. ] if the queen comes to any harm. you will pay for it with your blood.#[ athos / dyn: louis. ] i haven't seen the king since we were children. / he's barely changed.#[ athos / dyn: ninon. ] there is a melancholy aspect to your looks i find intriguing. but it's probably only mental vacancy. / i hope not.#[ athos / dyn: sylvie. ] some would consider the ideas dangerous. / my father would say they’re only dangerous because they still matter.#[ athos / inquiries: ic. ] talent won't keep you alive if your heart rules your head.#[ athos / inquiries: etc. ] we are king's musketeers. / so answer the question. politely.
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The Ideal Picard Season Two Episode
Any opportunity for everyone to dress up and do something goofy and offbeat is a win in my book, I mean, Stardust City Rag was the strongest Picard episode for a reason. So I think that they should do should do a classic holodeck malfunction adventure episode. AND.... have it be a holonovel adaptation of The Three Musketeers. It makes total sense since Picard and Elnor bonded over the book and the art of fencing...
(source)
because Elnor is both a master swordsman and curious about pretending/lying...
(source)
and MOST IMPORTANTLY because it’s a perfect opportunity for Rios to get in on the action in a delicious meta twist, since Santiago Cabrera’s portrayal of Aramis on BBC’s The Musketeers amassed a pretty big following for him.
(source)
Like honestly I think I lot of people are watching Picard who had never seen an episode of Star Trek before because they loved Santiago Cabrera’s Aramis so much. “Aramis in space” is a whole-ass tag for that very reason.
(source}
Anyway, I think in the holonoval, Rios should be Aramis (of course), Elnor should be D’Artagnan (that’s literally his role in the group tbh), Picard should be Athos (since he’s the father-figure), and Seven of Nine should be Porthos because I think it would be funny and holodeck adventures are Seven’s guilty pleasure. Also, perfect opportunity to make a reference to Admiral Archer’s Prize Beagle. Look me in the eye and tell me that seeing the four of them dressed up like swashbucklers wouldn’t be the star trek episode of the decade.
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There's something to be appreciated in book!Aramis being a stickler for etiquette: d'Artagnan did nearly cause trouble for a woman and, in the same incident, nearly got Aramis into terrible trouble, just by trying to be polite about the handkerchief thing. xD You know at least you could trust book!Aramis with your confidences. =) (I mean, he's still an utter disaster sometimes, all the same. xD)
That is a hundred percent sure, he's super secretive! Aramis has always been my favorite character because of his ambiguity really. On the one side, there is the etiquette, the secrecy, the self-chastising he deems necessarry bc of his weird religious fear. On the OTHER side, he makes nasty jokes about the queen's honor, turns into some sort of harpy when Porthos tells him off, fights two enemies at the same time without twitching and just his SMUGNESS when he fights with d'Artagnan over the tissue!! But whenever Athos is around, Aramis is a little different, more the shy sort (I always love it when Porthos makes fun of him then and Aramis basically shrinks to tinman size while Athos just smiles knowingly). It's just... he's so toooorn between doing what he thinks he should be doing and doing what he really likes and I will now not delve into all my thoughts on his sexuality BUT yes Aramis, precious Aramis, what a train wreck, really, total disaster just like you said. I don't know what sort of image he's trying to portray towards d'Artagnan to make it seem like he's superior - which he isn't that's the whole point - but he really needs to stop it, it's embarrassing :D (just thinking of the moment he wants to join the Jesuites or the moment he tells d'Art that he's turned i don't know 38 or something and d'Art is like: now hold on I am 38, this can't be possible :,D)
To sum my stream of consciousness thoughts up: Aramis notices that d'Art is superior to him, simply bc he doesn't try to be anything he's not. Athos loves this in d'Artagnan. And there are a hundred reasons why I think d'Art and Aramis can't stand each other, but Athos' love is in my opinion one of them. d'Art gets so much of it, basically taking over the role of the youngest of the group, and Aramis keeps his distance to him. (Only in d'Art's last ever line in the last book is the rivalry and disdain between them really acknowledged, it hit me so hard in the gut omg i googled for days afterwards trying to deal with the pain.)
#this got looooooong#aramis meta#the three musketeers#d'artagnan meta#athos#porthos#les trois mousquetaires#alexandre dumas#aramis headcanons#athamis#d'artagnan x athos#athos x aramis
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Musketeer March 2021
(Note: always in progress. We will be updating this regularly.)
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Porthos for the song ask :)
Oh Porthos, my dearest Porthos, I have so many songs that fit him so I'll give you multiple:
Up the Spirit Caverns Walls (the melody reminds me of him)
Papaoutai by Stromae (pretty self-explanatory, it's about him wondering who his father is etc)
Bâtard by Stromae (Do I headcanon that he listens to Stromae in a modern AU? Yea I do)
Parle à ta tête by Indila (it's really more about the rhythm here tbh)
Piccola Anima by Ermal Meta and Elisa (mostly bc 'dicono che non c'è niente di più fragile di una promessa, ed io non te ne farò nemmeno una', it makes me think of Portamis)
A Song of Storm and Fire by Yuki Kajiura (it's dramatic af)
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d'artagnan, treville, and koriand'r from titans? (which i've never seen but her hair is beautiful and also i appreciate the name)
d’Artagnan
How I feel about this character: i love that d’artagnan wholly, and without any evidence of an uneasy split between the two selves, occupies the role of ‘archetypal hero’ and ‘incorrigible little shit’. he is brave, and romantic, and loyal to a fault, but he also has a casual, often flexible relationship with his principles when he really, really wants something. he can be conniving, deceptive, and entirely too comfortable with scaring the living shit out of anybody enemy-adjacent as long as it gets him closer to his goal. the source material leaned into this irony more, but it’s not difficult to see that edge to him on the show. it’s not even something he’s even conscious of, which makes him very entertaining to watch, and honestly makes me long to see more of his story.i was going through some of my old meta posts about d’artagnan and here’s one from 2015 that kinda sums up all this waffle:he’s such a little shit. and he’s perfect for the inseparables because i don’t think there’s any other way to get their attention and their friendship than to stomp into their midst, threaten to kill one of them, roll your eyes at their plans, act entitled to their histories within months of knowing them, signing up for missions without a thought about what they would actually entail, and just being stupidly brave enough through the whole thing that the resulting smugness is more endearing than irritating.this guy kills without compunction yet has legions of people calling him ‘puppy’. how is he not a little shit.I LOVE HIM.
All the people I ship romantically with this character: EVERYBODY. essentially my musketeers manifesto.
My non-romantic OTP for this character: porthos + d’artagnan makes me swoon in any iteration.
My unpopular opinion about this character: i know he got a lot of shit for some of his actions in s2 and while he deserved some of it, he did not deserve the kind of unchecked vitriol that fandom spewed about him then. the facts speak for themselves.
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: there were at least a couple of interesting inflection points in his character arc that sadly went unexplored: when bonacieux died in 2.07 and ‘cursed’ him and constance with his dying breath; and when he had to kill the mentally ill veteran he’d been trying to save all episode in s3. he ends both episodes in genuine pathos, seemingly at a crossroads, but by the next he seems to have forgotten all about it. it could also explain why it felt like d’artagnan grew so little in s3.
Treville
How I feel about this character: i tend to have a vague, low-simmering affection for treville most of the time, but the times that he’s most interesting is when he’s more... well, morally suspect. like the time he essentially used his regiment as a pawn in his protracted war with the cardinal, or the whole savoy fiasco, or even his efforts to keep porthos’ past a secret. also i just like to refer back to this post i made a long time ago whenever i’m asked to articulate my thoughts on treville.
All the people I ship romantically with this character: i see the potential in richelieu/treville, but i haven’t really given a lot of thought to shipping treville
My non-romantic OTP for this character: i really like the dynamics between athos and treville. i don’t think treville was entirely accurate with his judgment of athos’ temperament as a leader, but i think he was willing to take the chance anyway because he saw, perhaps clearer than most, athos’ compassionate heart.
My unpopular opinion about this character: i don’t honestly find him as interesting as the rest of fandom??? *shrugs*
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: it’s a great pity that richelieu had to leave at the end of the first season. i do think his dynamic with treville made treville a lot more interesting and it would’ve been cool to see that evolve.
Koriand’r
How I feel about this character: what i really love about what titans has done with kory is subvert the ‘born sexy yesterday’ trope. they could’ve so easily had her perform this naive, what-are-these-human-customs role, but kory is different. she’s alien, sure, and curious about this world that she’s landed on, but she’s also smart and adaptable, and oftentimes far more well-adjusted than the earthlings around her. and i love how the show lets her be alien twice over--in the first season she has amnesia and is alien to herself, and that’s just a really interesting layer to her characterisation.besides, she is badass, and compassionate, and funny, and all-around beautiful, inside and out. and yes, her hair is great.
All the people I ship romantically with this character: DICK GRAYSON. despite the sorry lack of together-time in s2 they still have crackling chemistry. i also like kory/donna and kory/faddei.
My non-romantic OTP for this character: kory really connected with rachel and conner wrt their feelings of ‘otherness’ and i hope both of those relationships are explored further from hereon.
My unpopular opinion about this character: i mostly agree with the show’s decision to have her separate from the rest of the titans in s2. i know it was frustrating, but oftentimes her relationships with the others devolve into her providing succour and doing most of the emotional labour, and that’s not fair on her or the others.
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: that said, i wish there’d been more focus on her, or just more screen time in general. still all the signs are pointing to exactly that in s3, so i’m optimistic. :)
( give me a character to break down! )
#the musketeers#d'artagnan#captain treville#titans#koriand'r#badass strawberry truffle#meta#going through some of my old musketeers meta posts from 2015 and 2016 has been a TRIP#i wrote some really cool and interesting things#thanks past self
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John Childermass, and if I may be greedy (and obvious XD) d'Artagnan for the character breakdown thingy :P
I love my friends for indulging me
John Childermass
- How I feel about this character
*high pitched squeaking sound*
Absolutely the best. Only competent human being (barring Arabella) in the whole of freakin’ England. Best faerie lore. Best loyalty. Best Northern accent. No questions asked; I don’t make the rules.
- All the people I ship romantically with this character
The question is, who don’t I ship with this character? Romantic ships: Norrel, John Segundus, Jonathan Strange, Lascelles, Emma Pole…for someone who I headcanon pretty heavily as demi, Childermass sure does have Vibes with everyone he shares a scene with.
- My non-romantic OTP for this character
Also Norrel? Like, obviously there is that smol grumpy bookworm protected by tol grumpy bookworm, but also I just love them as buddies.
- My unpopular opinion about this character
…Too handsome? Too tall? Too dark and snarky? I don’t know what to say, because all my opinions condense into ‘john childermass 4ever’ and literally the whole fandom agrees with me!
- One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.
MORE BACKSTORY! MY KINGDOM FOR MORE CHILDERMASS! Also, any scene, even one, where he and Arabella interacted, would have made my life.
D’Artagnan
- How I feel about this character
I could – and have – written a thousand metas on precisely why Charles ‘You Little Shit’ d’Artagnan (aka Charles ‘I’d Sell My Soul For Some Validation d’Artagnan// Charles ‘Eyes Closed Head First Can’t Lose’ d’Artagnan//Charles ‘I Go DarkSide Concerningly Easily’ d’Artagnan) is one of my fave characters in all of fandom; and surprisingly only 50% of them concern how pretty Luke Pasqualino is!
I just…there is admittedly a painfully thin line media treads between ‘entitled toxic male jackass’ and ‘flawed, human, but ultimately still compelling character who does occasionally demonstrate toxic masculinity issues without ever giving them a pass (and exhibits vulnerability, affection, et al)’, and most of the time they skew painfully toward the former. D’Artagnan, I think, is a great example of the latter.
Also, pretty.
- All the people I ship romantically with this character
Like Childermass before him, Luke Pasqualino manages to have Vibes with pretty much every damn character he’s onscreen with. Constance. Lucie. Athos. Milady. Porthos. Aramis. Rochefort. Louis. Treville. Vadim. Assassin princess. That random slave-owner lady in S3 where one hand-kiss was enough to have me squeaking out loud. Damnit, Pasqualino, with the puppy dog eyes!
- My non-romantic OTP for this character
I may have run out of characters?? (Probably Porthos, lbr. The beauty of porthagnan, it translates to both romance and platonic friendship depending on your preference!)
- My unpopular opinion about this character
S2 D’Artagnan was just normal human fallibility; you guys are just mean.
- One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.
Freaking d’Arktagnan, man. Had to happen.
Ask me about a character!
#my two faves!#john childermass#d'artagnan#jonathan strange and mr norrell#bbc musketeers#paintedimagining#answered ask memes
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The thing that annoys me about Porthos/Elodie is not so much a lack of chemistry as it is a lack of development. His interactions with her, up to the point where he’s suddenly offering to stay with her and staring at her with what I guess is supposed to be wistfulness and longing as he rides away, is typical Porthos behavior: kind, friendly, loving, supportive Porthos. There’s no indication that these typical attitudes are veering into romantic emotion/intent. Meanwhile Elodie’s entire character kind of gets shafted so instead of being a strong-but-sweet counterbalance to Juliet she exists only and entirely to be a Last Minute Love Interest (conveniently pregnant and ready to give birth for situational drama and immediate Babies Ever After effect). No woman is going to 1) learn her husband is dead, 2) give birth, and 3) fall in love with the total stranger that delivered said bad news about her husband and said baby all within a 24-hour period. It doesn’t make sense and it feels cheap and rushed.
Then they shoehorn her into the finale without a clear explanation of why she and her baby (who still has no name despite being weeks or possibly even months old?) are in Paris. I think all she says is something vague like “The war found us again” which doesn’t even mean anything. And once again, it didn’t feel like there was any romance between her and Porthos, just a few platonic whispered conversations and the hammering home of the point that Porthos will always be a soldier before anything else (and Elodie making a comment about not asking him to give it up for her because France needs him and walking away, which to me felt like there was an unspoken ending of any potential relationship and her saying France is more important than any budding romance that might have been there) and some adorable scenes of Porthos and the baby, which I am 10/10 here for because I couldn’t decide who was more adorable, and then suddenly he’s going back to the front as a general and asking her to elope with him so that she and the baby will be taken care of and their kissing like they’ve been in love for a while and just, what? It feels like there’s pieces missing and I think that sucks.
I understand that it was done because the show writers knew it was their final season and they wanted to make sure everyone had a happily ever after, but there were a lot better options than a new character added in a small role four episodes from the end. They could have brought back Flea, who had a romantic and friendly past with Porthos and was a really cool character, and she may not have been instant happily ever after but could have been reintroduced (possibly working with Sophie or something, tying in the refugee district to the Court of Miracles and giving everything a nice continuity, as one idea of how to do it) and have been the promise of things to come, especially if they brought her back early-ish in the season and have the finale end with him asking her to marry him or some such. They could have done pretty much the same thing with Alice, since while she was also only in one episode, that episode takes place over several days at least and they were pretty hot and heavy while it was happening (however, I like that idea less than Flea because their relationship in the episode felt a little less organic and was kind of based on a lie to begin). Or I mean, there’s the obvious option of just doing Porthos and Elodie’s plotline better, over time, in a logical and complete fashion.
Instead, we get everyone else having fleshed out characters and story arcs that happen to end in happily ever after because at this point its what the characters have all worked toward and earned, and Porthos is left out in the cold with an unfinished and frankly half-assed plot. When even minor characters like Cadet Brujon get better, more logical and intentional and well done endings than one of your main characters, there’s kind of a problem. (I mean Milady doesn’t really get a happily ever after arc either, and I could write whole separate essays on her ending, nor do characters that die, but…)
#The Musketeers#BBC The Musketeers#season 3 finale#series finale#just a little thought/complaint#that really bugs me#Porthos#Elodie#I want to like it because a well-done version of their plot would have been adorable and wonderful#but this version just makes me sad and kind of annoyed#endings#spoilers#The Musketeers spoilers#the Babies Ever After trope in general bothers me#and when you do something like they did with Elodie and Mary Cessette its even worse#I do like the meta about Porthos and the baby and the name though and how its a direct connection to Alexandre Dumas#woops I rambled#or is it ranted?#also like I know its a small thing but the baby just disappears for all of the victorious end bits#and everyone's together so its not like there's someone babysitting offscreen#unless Elodie left Mary Cessette with the freaking Queen so she could help rebuild the garrison#and again to give Porthos and Athos their dramatic sappy send offs
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Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Les Trois Mousquetaires | The Three Musketeers Series - Alexandre Dumas
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Athos/Aramis
Characters: Athos, Aramis, Porthos, Marie de Rohan Duchesse de Chevreuse
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, holiday fic, Meta, Humor, Spanking, Filthy Disgustoids pollute everything
Summary:
Aramis really wants Athos to come with him to a very special holiday party.
A very special holiday prezzie for our Third @donnaimmaculata <3 and for all to enoy!!!
#fic#the three musketeers#arathos#one never forgets one's first love#modern day disgustoids being disgusting#*waves to Audience*#i'm not dead yet!!!!
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