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loving-azerath · 4 months

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Keegan Brain rot

lately this man has been in my head ALL THE FUCKING TIME. SO I am dumping my toxic Keegan brain rot here and I look I get it "why are you romanticizing toxic relationships?" But IM writing it and YOUR reading it so its very much a Girl what were YOU doing at Satan's brunch type thing okay? Okay.

This man is smooth as hell okay? He gets you with that deep fucking voice, and his fucking hot shit attitude. He is hot and he knows it. He walks like its heavy and it is. HE KNOWS IT. He got you so fucking downbad because for the first couple months you guys are literally so fucking in love in hurts. Both of you.

Yes TOXIC KEEGAN fucking loves you. He can't get enough. It's an obsession. Which is why when he sees that coworker talking to you he loses his mind a bit. Thought of anyone else having you? Quite literally breaks this man. You two fight, you break up. You are devastated. He's heart broken. How could he do that when all he was trying to do was keep you? Now though he can't get you out of his head.

He misses every fucking part of you and no matter who he fucks it never compares. So he ends up luring you back in with sweet words and toxic fuckin dick. He fucks you like he gets paid to do it. Hand on your throat in prone bone, fucking into you with almost body slams. Your fucking sounds fueled him because he missed them so fucking much.

He leaves hickies now, needing to mark you as his in hopes to keep other guys from getting too close. Which would have worked. If the guys that were approaching you were interested and not co workers or married friends. Didn't matter what you said to him. Though you aren't innocent in this either. Somewhere you learned that when he gets possessive, when he gets jealous...he fucks you so good that it replays in your head on repeat throughout the next month. When he starts the fights you fucking fight back. With words just as sharp.

It became a cycle before you knew it. Two years gone in it. Going two or three months happy and then one of you fucks it up. You only stay broken up for a month at a time. Its all he can bare. Longer if hes deployed but you bet as soon as he comes home from deployment hes at the bar he knows you like to go to. Tucking you away into a bathroom, caging you in against the sink of the single dirty stall. He knew what to say, and you wanted him so fucking bad. Even when you hated him a part of your body craved him. Craved him so fucking bad. You would pretend not to be interested, knowing it pisses him off. You were already soaked just from having him practically pinning you against the sink. Staring through your pretend uninterest. It would be a battle of who gave in and kissed first. He always lost. He would grab a fistfull of hair from the nape of your neck, pulling your head back enough to get a sweet little whimper from your lips before swallowing it with his own. Which would just give you more whimpers for him to swallow. His lips were always so hungry for you, to taste literally every part. Every inch of your neck and chest. Bruising hickies would litter any place he knew a man would look. When he was so hard he would hurt himself from his dick pressing hard against his zipper and seam of his jeans. He would finally unzip them, free his cock that twitched when freed. Twitched when he pressed it against you just to kiss you again, small grinds because he just needed the friction.

"Fuck..." He practically growl, "Do you have any fucking idea what you do to me doll?"

You would blink twice at him

"Piss you off?" You ask, to do what you may ask? Oh right piss him off because as I said you aren't innocent in this shit. It would work too. He would be fucking fuming. Hiking your dress up without removing his eyes from yours.

"Damn right you fuckin' piss me off." He grinds, his fingers finding your folds, this part always broke you. Every. Fucking. Time. Because his fingers were like magic. The warmth and friction bringing shuttering whimpers which as soon as he heard his cock pressed up against your stomach twitched again.

"You feel, so fuckin wet." He would whisper "I need you so fucking bad baby"

"Beg" You say, straightfaced. His eyebrow twitches in irritation. He should have seen this coming. Truthfully. It didn't matter if it was in a dirty bathroom. You would walk him like the dog he was. He sighs flexing a muscle in his jaw. Before slowly lowering to his knees. His eyes once again, never leaving yours.

"Please baby...I need you so bad" He says kissing your hips, messaging your thighs with your dress still in his hands, moving the fabric up and down your thighs with his movements.

"More"

"You" kiss "are" kiss "Everything" kiss "To me" His mouth hovering right over the one place he wanted to sink in the most. "Please, I don't have purpose when you hate me"

You scoff "Thought your purpose was to make me hate you?" You ask

"Only when we fight baby, I don't wanna right right now" He says smoothly planting another kiss around the one spot you both wanted his lips.

"Then make me forgive you" you say, a smirk crosses his lips before he devours you. Moaning vibrations into your core as soon as he tastes you.

"Fuck baby" He says against you, between laps that he doesn't break his eye contact for. "This is what I'm made for" He says, every lap, suck, flick, and moan is driving you crazy. Your whimpers during into panted mewls and whines.

"Kee..." you whine when you're close.

"I know baby, I know. It feels good. It always feels good. We feel good" He says, sucking on your clit while the high rises. "Let me taste how good I make you feel"

It was always so easy for him to make you cum this way. Your hands gripping the sink behind you as you struggle to keep your sounds under uncontrol. He always pulls away from your sweet core like it pains him to do so. Grabbing your hips and turning you a little too needily around to face yourself in the mirror.

"Fuck look at how good we look together like this baby. Keep watching, you'll see just how perfect we look together." He says, he looks down to guide himself into you and the familiar stretch breaks any resolve you had left.

The sounds your bodies make when they slap together echoed off the tile bathroom walls. Keegan had his hand over your mouth, letting your muffled moans feed his addiction and ego. You catch your reflection, your eyes and brows pulled into a fucked out pleasured expression. Your wetness was drinking down your own thighs and your legs were shaking.

His thrusts getting sloppier and his groans turning into whimpers that made you fucking melt every fucking time. He knew it.

"God you make a mess of me Angel. A fucking mess. All I am without you" he whimpers. "all i fuckin am"

he shoves himself so far inside you that the pressure is almost too painfil while you feel him pump his ropes inside of you. You were panting against his chest as he slowly removes his hand, then himself.

"Forgive me?" He asks as he zips himself up. You just silently nod, brain still fuzzy and feeling the mess he made inside of you leak out. It was filthy, but you loved it. He kisses your forehead. "Good girl, Let's go. I want round two but the ungodly things I'm going to do to you needs privacy"

and then the cycle fucking continues.

#i need it #pleasekillme #keegan smut #keegan p russ #cod keegan #keegan russ x reader #Poorly written smut #I need to be sedated #The way I need this man should be studied by a team of medical professionals

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stoogeaohlic-11 · 5 months

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Lux & Ivy performing with the Cramps at Eldorado in Paris, June 1984, as captured by Bruno Galus.

#lux interior #poison ivy #the cramps #pleasekillme #stoogeaholic

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radioactivevulture · 2 years

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You guys like Biblical Imagery here???

Someone on my discord prompted me to draw Lesley and Yellow as the painting of "The creation of Adam." I gave them more.

+An oc of mine +An oc of a friend's.

#dhmis #dhmis oc #dhmis art #dhmis lesley #dhmis red guy #dhmis duck #dhmis teachers #dhmis coffin #dhmis shrignold #dhmis briefcase #dhmis twins #dhmis tony #dhmis paige #dhmis collin #dhmis warren #dhmis electracey #pleasekillme

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envarcade · 14 days

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WH4T UP MY F3LLOW HOM3STUC14NS >:]]] 4R3 Y4LL R34DY TO K1CK TH3 BUCK3T ON TH1S F1N3 4/13?????

#ask blog #envtuber #vtuber #homestuckers #joshuaegbert #drakestrider #daisylalonde #jakeharley #pleasekillme #4/13 #homestuck #bucket #en-v arcade #EN-V ARCADE #y2k

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emptyspace2004 · 2 months

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Lord, what went wrong in my life... I used to be a cute little child, but now I’m quickly losing my mind and feeling like my own emotions are tearing me to pieces... perhaps due to hyper-fixation on two fucked-ups... or perhaps I really am going crazy and stopping Zyprexa was a mistake... fuck it, I hate this medicine... fluoxetine rocks! Zyprexa go to hell!

#fluoxetine #zyprexa #tw depressing thoughts #shizoposting #im going insane #pleasekillme #mental illness #giveup

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soaddictedtoyourheart · 1 year

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#itsokaynottobeokay #smoking #pleasekillme

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one-odd-crow · 4 months

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How come as soon as I have a issue with my long distance bf my want for cuddles shoots through the fucking roof

#pleasekillme

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acidicstars28 · 4 months

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I'm seriously starting to hate the holidays.

WARNING LONG Long Story: My selfish ass mother gave my twin sister and I, Covid a week before our birthday and Christmas. She got Covid going to a Christmas party with like 40 of her trashy ass always intoxicated friends. She refused to isolate in her room and refused to wear a mask in public areas of the house after she tested positive, even though it's not her fucking house. She literally basically freeloads off my 87 year old grandfather and has for as long as I have been alive which is 31 years as of the 23rd. Any way... my sister recently had to move back in with my mom and grandpa, because her dirt bag partner of 10 years cheated on her with a coworker and they have to sell their house. So I went over there last Saturday to bake Christmas cookies with my sister to try and cheer her up and I'm suprised to see my mom there cause usually she's out drinking with her gross boyfriend on the weekends but you know it was noon so maybe she was leaving later. Fast forward to 9pm and my sister and I are just finishing up decorating the last batch of cookies. My husband made a cameo to pick me up and got roped into helping decorate and do dishes after he got out of work. So we finish cleanup and go home and then my sister texts me.

I SHIT YOU NOT, We're not even half way home when she texts saying "By the way, our mom JUST (like 5 to 15ish minutes after my husband and I left) told me she tested positive for Covid yesterday (friday), which is why she didn't go to her fucking boyfriends house. Now I am super confused and getting a bit angry at this because my mother sat around the house all fucking day, put her fingers and face near the food and the cookies we made, and GAVE to people, hovered in the kitchen and was just all up in our business all day, with no mask fully knowing she had Covid and not telling amyone. My grandfather didn't even know. She didn't care that two of her kids, one who is immunocompromised (me) and one who is literally 2 months out from a devestating break up (and now has to spend her first birthday and Christmas without a partner in 10 years alone in our childhood bedroom, isolating so she doesn't get my grandfather sick).

I can't even be with her because I have to isolate at home (immunocomp) by doctors orders. And I just feel so fucking angry and helpless because I can't be with my sister on days where she's going to really need me (and my husband, story for another time). Because my mom is a selfish bitch.

I mean she's always been a toxic narcissist but this just is a new fucking low even for her. No care in the world for me, for my sister or for my grandfather at all. BUUUTTT as long as she could spare her precious boyfriend who is in perfect physical health (and also ALREADY HAD FUCKING COVID) from getting sick it didn't matter.

😮‍💨 I now get to spend the third birthday in a row, practically alone because of her and her fucked decision. My husband has to work most of the day too, since you know retail 2 days before Christmas. Before that gets any judgement, he's masked up and testing every morning. His immune system is way better than mine and he doesn't even have a sniffle, the lucky bastard.

It is wrong of me to absolutley HATE my mother right now? Like my sister and I had a ton of plans for this weekend. She wanted to keep busy to keep her mind off the other things going on her life. And because the last 2 birthdays we've had sucked ass. She had covid 2 years ago and I was in the middle of a severe depressive spiral. And then last year we got hit with a fucking massive blizzard. But also now I have to miss a shit load of work 5 days before Christmas and I don't have any PTO left. I just feel like my mom and her shit has completely drained every thing, I have left in me for the year. Not to mention I am so sick that everything in the world sucks right now.

I feel bad for ranting, but also really needed to get that off my chest before I go nuclear on my mother through very angry texts. I would call and yell but I have no voice and my husband has been trying to get me to not immedietly chose violence all the time.

Ugh okay. I'm fucking done now. I hope your holidays are better than mine.

#toxic parents #fuck the holidays #trigger warning: toxic parents #this is just a rant #you don't have to read this #covid #pleasekillme #depressing shit #sorry for being depressing

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lyingpissbaby · 10 months

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ive graduated. yippie no more 17year old stuck in highschool!!

me and my step sister feeding the fish in back yard pond

#pleasekillme #1993blog #im drinking beer #its not even that good #imma read fanfics #happy graduation!#graduation

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jahmee · 1 year

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I. AM. SO. STRESSED.

Two nights in row. Yes. For two nights in a row. I have had unspeakable experiences and I. AM. STRESSED.

It started yesterday, 5/8/2023. I awoke to the feeling of something tickling the side of my face. I brushed it away. Thinking not much of it. I couldn’t see anything, so I assumed I must’ve been tripping. A few moments pass, when I feel something again. I look, and to my absolute horror. THERE WAS A MOTHERFUCKING ROACH. I almost died. However, I held my composure and gasped as I watched the six-legged insect run away. I wanted to die. I held my hand over my mouth, ready to vomit the stomach bile that was in my stomach. I somehow was able to go back to sleep.. only slightly traumatized. I did think of it randomly throughout the day. Specifically when my ear was itchy. Unsure if there are roach eggs currently incubating in there or what....

So I made it,,,, right?

....No. Unfortunately, I did not. Fast forward, it’s around 2am EST and I woke up because my 8-month-old was fussy. NBD. I just decided to scroll TikTok, FB, you know, the usual social media. I was leaned up on the couch, head pretty much against the wall when I could’ve sworn I felt something land onto my head. I immediately jerked my head and starting shaking it around. I turned on my phone flashlight, but didn’t see anything..... I think... OK, I’m clearly tripping because of what happened yesterday. NBD.... I’m tryna chill, scrolling, and I feel something on my leg... I look.. nothing. OK, just keep scrolling. When all of a sudden, I feel something crawling, I look in my lap, AND IT IS A MOTHERFUCKING ROACH, AGAIN!!!!!! I got up screaming and woke up the entire house with my screaming as I ran away from the couch....

I have never in my 30 years on this earth experienced something like this. Even when I lived in a mold infested, roach infested apartment I didn’t experience this... I’m currently googling the symbolism and meaning of cockroaches & simultaneously feeling things crawl all over me.

Help???????

#roaches #symbolism #meaning #literally wtf #pleasekillme

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theratunderyourstairs · 1 year

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Ok do you guys know that gag in Gravity Falls season 1 episode 6 with the cops and the pancakes? Well, how would one do the? Like the muscle strength it would take? Would the calories burned even be replaced by the pancakes? It's it pointless?

#gravity falls #random #im sorry for making this #pleasekillme

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loving-azerath · 6 months

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No one asked for this. HOWEVER As a person with ADHD who gets the zoomies when I am overly tired. Here is the list of headcanons of how I think our COD men that I can't get enough of would react to you having the Zoomies :)

(This is inspired by something I did with a Konig bot....so uhhh....leave me alone about it?? KAY THANKS LETS GOOOOOO

Captain John PleaseCureMyDaddyIssues Price

The man adores you. He would laugh at your antics, and beam at you as you laughed at things that aren't funny but for some reason are really getting you fucking cackling tonight. He would find words that worsen your laughing fits and would say them right when you calmed down just so that you will laugh again and grab onto him in your fit. He would ADORE that you are so fucking cute when you get like this. John would also record them sometimes, if you were being real rowdy so he had blackmail and so that he could watch them when he's deployed just to beam at the phone because he misses your zoomies. You were in bed beside him one night, giggling because of something he had said. The giggle never stopped giving him the tell tale sign that you were about to get the zoomies.

"Uh oh Love, should I take cover?" He would ask and you would laugh and shake your head.

"No, it's fine. I'm fine. I am just tired." You would say and then start laughing again which would make him grin.

"Doesn't sound like you are fine. Sounds like I am about to get hit with a pillow and called curses that would make my men blush" He would poke and you would drop your jaw in false offense grabbing your pillow and slamming it on him.

"You fucking twat waffle what the fuck" You would say which he would chuckle at. If you tried to playfight this man...he would restrain you very playfully and yes you two would fuck. #AfterZoomiesPeePawDick

Johnny Soap Dial Mactavish

This man would get the zoomies with you! You think that he isn't laughing at the same shit? He would be wheezing he is laughing so hard. Some nights you two would be on one for so long that by the time you both actually stopped passing around the laughing fit it was near three AM and you had to work the next day. Worth it though because you LOVED those moments with him. Some jokes would make him laugh even the next day though when he would tell them to his friends at work they would NOT find what you two found so fucking funny it kept you up. That amusing. Sometimes when it was only you though, to start, he would make jokes aimed to drive you further into madness.

"Ay, bonnie baby I got a joke for ya" He would say which you ALWAYS fell for because you loved his fucking jokes.

"Tell me"

"Why was the Strawberry crying?" He would ask, and you would try to hold in laughter that was already bubbling in your throat and trying to escape.

"Why?" You asked, squeaky because you were trying SO FUCKING HARD NOT TO LAUGH.

"Because it was in a jam" He would say, which would have you rolling. Like full on clutching your stomach and every fucking time you would get air you would just repeat the last word. And laugh again. "Ghost loved that one too"

Simon PleasefuckmeGhost Riley

The man LIVED FOR THIS SHIT. When I tell you that he would watch you with so much love and fucking admiration. He would find this adorable 10/10. Like I picture him not showing it on his face much because I reckon he is a bit controlled with his facial expressions. But he would for sure just watch as you zoomed around him. He would also take videos and watch them on deployment because the thought of never seeing those zoomies again made him a tad sad. So he would do it when he missed you. Though you liked to playfight with this man and he would playfight back. He would throw you around and then eventually you would just fuck. He would pin you and you would tease him and he would rail you into next week where you would do the same thing again. <3 One night where you had a long day dealing with customers. You were tired but the zoomies called and you always answered with an enthusiastic cackle. Twas time to annoy your husband.

"Don't start with me" He would say, the look on your face clued him in. The stance. The energy. The small giggle. "No....don't fucking start with me"

hehe

"I don't know what you are referring to. I don't start anything. I am an angel" You would say and he would scoff

"Angel of fucking Chaos maybe." He would say "No...DON'T YOU FUC- I will throw you on your ass- LOVE, THINK ABOUT THIS"

It was too late. You were already throwing a mean false jab to his (untraumatized) ribcage. Which he would counter by grabbing you and throwing you onto the bed. Grabbing the pillow you would slap it across his body but he always grabbed it from you. Tossing it to the side. Until you were out of pillows. Only then would you unleash...the jump attack. Which he always caught as well. Slamming you right back into the bed.

"Thought I said not to start with me" He would say and you would giggle

"I'll fuck you up you Spooky bitch" You would quip which would make him laugh but he would also take it as it was. A fucking threat. And how did he handle threats from you?

He would fuck you. That's how. He would fuck you...you silly bitch.

Kyle Gaz littleBritishShit Garrick

He's a switch. I don't mean in the sexual way though probably there too. The man gives I would be on my knees in the shower eating you out vibes. However, in this case sometimes he would join in on your zoomies and other times he would watch. If he was joining in, you both would be slamming each other with pillows. You would try to pull the blanket over his head and he would body slam you into the bed. Sometimes if you were tickling him (Gaz is ticklish idc) he would accidentally throw you off the bed. One time you did hurt yourself and you both still laugh about it. On times that you are not joined he would make fun of you. He would make jokes and wait until you were almost asleep to make you laugh and each time you would break and you would slap his shoulder and his arm and he would pretend that it hurt.

"OW! You fuckin heathen" He would say which would make you snort

"HEATHEN? Who uses HEATHEN ANYMORE?! Are you from the 1800's?" You would ask and he would roll his eyes

"Piss off mate! You're being a gremlin and you know it! You just punched my shoulder!" He would retort.

"Have you tried not being a little bitch about it?" You would ask and he would chuckle

"Have you tried pissin off?"

"Yeah I piss off my boyfriend all the time" You shrug and then punch him again. Which turn into you on top of him. Pretending to punch while he pretends to block and plead under you making you laugh. Can you guess where this heads? Yeah bitch you get fucked.

Keegan P(ussy destroyer 2000) Russ

He would for sure watchyou for a while with a cocked head and an arched brow. He would laugh with you and would for sure record that shit and send it to you the next day. Only to be like like. "You're a fucking weirdo and I love that shit". I also think that he would without a fucking doubt call them crackhead hours. I don't know why that feels right. But I feel it would go like this. You would start your zoomies right, which would bring fear into this mans heart but amusement into his eyes and blood to his dick.

"Oh no" He would say

"hehehehehehhe"

"Crackhead hours are upon us" He would deapan which would make you flip him off.

"Fuck you, I am not a crackhead" You would argue. "I don't do crack"

"Doll you are acting like a crackhead." He would state. Which would offend you. Which would start a playfight. He would also probably I feel get annoyed if you tried to fight him. He would for sure pin you in like two seconds because he wants you to stop trying to egg him on. He wouldn't want you to actually get a hit in because he was too confident to even defend himself against your weak ass punches. SO he would most def just pin you and then with consent of course fuck your brains out. :) Keegan gives GREAT crackhead hours dick.

König CouldShoveMeInTheDryerOnHighestSetting.

LISTEN! He loves the Zoomies and he finds them adorable. He is obsessed with you when you have the Zoomies. He likes how easy it is to make you laugh so hard you are crying. He likes how your face turns red from laughing so hard. He does playfight back but rarely and if he does he barely puts effort in because he DOES NOT WANT TO HURT YOU. He would most likely also record as well. He doesn't just watch them on deployment though he would watch them ANYTIME he missed you. Even if he was at work for a single hour he would pull out his phone to see the latest zoomies. Which his reaction to for the first time was hilarious. He was chuckling at your antics.

"what has gotten into you mein liebling?" he would ask with another chuckle

"Gimme your hand" You would order and he would carefully give you his hand which you would bite. Not hard at all, just enough to fix your affection aggression that was riling up your zoomies.

"Why did you bite me?" He asks amused that there was no pain but equally confused. "Did I as least taste good Schatz?"

"I needed a nom"

"A nom?"

"Shit sorry, I'm hyper" You would say "Wanna know what I call these moments?" You would ask, literally so amused with yourself you could hardly keep it contained.

"What is it Mein Engel, what do you call it?" he asks turning to you completely. Your energy having completely gotten his attention you were already giggling. Barely keeping the laugh behind your lips.

"Zoomies" You say cackling and falling into him with amusement which would have him cradling you in your laughing fit.

"Oh mein Engel. You are too precious" He would say. I need this man to fuck me so hard I see beyond this fucking galaxy.

#i need it #funny #ghost cod #pleasekillme #konig headcanons #simon riley x reader #konig imagine #captain price #ghost #simon ghost riley #captain john price #Konig #Daddy konig #Keegan P Russ #john soap mactavish #soap mw2 #soap cod #kyle gaz garrick #gaz mw2

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