tw : satire, “fatphobia”, sh mentions, yaoi, saw fanfic (part 1/2 it wouldnt all fit) Hoffstrahm:

it was a brisk night, Mark Hoffman had just gotten off from work and was pulling into the Mcdonalds. Classic fatso. He was feeling especially obese tonight, and little did he know that his ex coworker had just been hired (at mcdomalds). As Hoffman pulled up to the Drive-thru, a familiar voice startled him, running a cold chill down his fatroll riden back. “Can i take ur order fam” asked Peter Strahm, who’d just been let off from his job, for his involvement with the Jigsaw Killer. “hello?” his raspy, hourse vocal chords rang out. this was cause a few weeks ago he stabbed a pen through his neck. and he was also let off for watching porn on the job. “uhm… I’ll get 3 big macs, 4 large fries, a cokey wokey, and uhm… a kids meal, chicken nuggets w a boytoy please.” Mark hoffman remarked. “wow, must be a pretty full car, huh?” Strahm chuckled. “no, it’s just me …” Hoffman replied with a sort of depression in his voice that could make even the strongest man weep.

As he pulled up to the next window, Mark handed Peter his card, and when Peter stuck his hand out to grab it, Mark noticed the cuts on his arms. they were red and puffy, some still fresh. Mark winced at the sight, he never wanted to see Peter hurt like that. “why are you cutting those flowers? I know how it feels to do that… please stop… for me..?” Mark looked up at Peter as he said it, who’d begun to cry. His sorrow sobs made Marks heart start to thaw. “I lost everything” Strahm said, “my job, my voice, my diginity, my partner…, even my Grindr account is dry as hell.” He started to grab onto his Mcdonalds uniform, he felt the visor become tight, he felt trapped, alone.. “You’re not alone, Peter, I’m here for you.” Mark started to climb out the window of his car, but his fat stomach got stuck. He wanted to climb inside the Mcdonalds and give Strahm a hug. Everyone always told him he gave great hugs. Lawrence, who was also working at Mcdonalds since Allison took the house, the kid, the car, and even sold his fursuit, he was left with nothing. All he had was his boytoy twink, but since Adam was so depressed all he did was lay in bed and piss into empty mountain dew bottles. Lawrence was yet again the sole provider. “this is a mcdonalds drive thru.” Dr. Gordon reminded them. Mark hoffman tried to look up at Lawrence, but he was halfway through the car door. Peter tried not to giggle, Hoffman was so rotund, so chubby, a living tub of lard, it was hard not the laugh. Tears started to form as he could no longer contain his chuckles. “Do you still want those big macs and shit?” Strahm asked Hoffman. “Yes, can i get a little help here?” Hoffman remarked. “Yeah i’m coming.” Peter came outside, and started pushing the fat rolls back into Marks subaru. Once he was back in, Hoffman invited Strahm to sit with him. “Why do you do such a thing to yourself..” Mark asked. “i-i feel like i deserve it sometimes…” Strahm replied. “all you deserve is the world, baby girl.” Marks hands started to caress his 44 year old thighs, there was something so sexually appealing about this middle-aged man. It was so hot to think about his bunyans, his morgage, his hairy balls. They both started to get hard, a big bulge started to show through Mark’s slacks. Peters boner was much more painful, because he was packing 9 and a half girthy, thick inches. Peter might of been a tranny but when he got that deformed spring roll permanently attached to his downstairs, he wanted to make sure it was worth it. Peter hadn’t even noticed that Mark was hard, because his penis was barely 4 inches. Mark grabbed a hold of Peters belt buckle, fumbling trying to take his pants off. Peter realized this, and immediately dropped his pants, only to reveal some not so whitey-tightys. there were a few shart stains in his undies. Mark looked over at peter, in all his glory, with his sweaty bod and his humongous cock. Mark quickly took his pants off also, showing off his pissed covered boxers. Mark was addicted to piss. He loved pee. He had a total piss kink, and prayed that Peter did too. When Peter looked over at Mark, he screamed. “OH YMGOD WHY ARE UR BOXERS COVERED IN PISS OH MYFOD THEYRE BRIGHT YELLOW OH MYOG EW” he shrieked out of disgust. Mark started to feel turned on and embarrassed at the same time. “Did you bring the food” Marks oval shaped ass asked. “uhm… yeah…” Peter replied. He took out the bag, holding the excessive amount of big macs. He pulled the drinks out too. Mark immediately started digging into the happy meal, only to realize he got a girls toy. “oh mygod. oh my god.” Hoffman stuttered out as he started to freak out. “oh mgof OHM YOGF IS THIS A FUCKING GIRLS TOY. OH MYGOF YOU WORTHLESS PIECE KF SHIT LILL YOUSELF OH MYGOD I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS IM GONNA LITERALLY COMMIT SUICIDE RIFHT NOW!!!!!!” he yelled, his voice bouncing off the corners of the car. “Youve been naughty, very very naughty.” Mark said as he stared daggers at Peter. Peter tried to get out but Mark had locked the doors. “Here.” Mark said, handing Peter two of the large cokes. Peter was puzzled,

"why do you even like saw?! it's just torture pooorn!" WRONG. it's gay porn

I love yurifying them

Can I come over and stare at u like this

Lynnmanda nation we’re winning.

love shipping old dudes that hate each other. if no one else is shipping old dudes who hate each other, its me.

I would have came back for ur gay ass Adam 😪🫡🫰

more saw shitpost

I love Peter Strahm

Saved

good morning

Telling slashers you like 'hot old men'

I am an old man lover and enjoyer for life. I love hot old men I hope I become one when I'm older. So what better way then to make a post appreciating all of the hot old men I'm in love with. I know some of these men aren't like super old but it's still kind of old ok? We're talking an age range from 30's-50's. Also this was buried in my drafts since like April.

Includes: Doomhead, The Grabber, Mark Hoffman, Peter Strahm, Hannibal Lecter, and Bo Sinclair

Warnings: Implied kidnapping in The Grabbers section

Doomhead

He honestly thought you said something else when you first said it. You two were watching a movie together and you made a comment on how you love "hot old men".

When he asks you to repeat yourself and you confirm that you said you love hot old men he laughs. He knows he's an older man but you saying that is really funny to him.

"Are you calling me an old man, sugar?" He asks you, pressing a kiss to your cheek. After you clarify you don't mean it in a negative way he just keeps laughing quietly.

He'll bring this up from time to time when he sees fit. He honestly might play up the 'old man' act just to tease you about it even more. But he's not too offended that you said it.

The Grabber

Because you've been behaving well he decided to treat you by giving you a magazine. He sat with you in the basement while you looked through the magazine.

He noticed you lingering on a page for a bit longer than the others. He asks you about why you're still on that page. You chuckle and tell him it's because there's an actor you love on it. "I just love old men." You say casually.

He pauses for a moment before he chuckles himself. He's an older man himself and because of your recent behavior. "Is that why you've been behaving so well for me?" He asks with a smile behind his mask.

Your chuckle and smile in response is all he needs to know. He's going to start subtly showing his age to you more and more. I think he'll try to show off his hands and arms. He's going to be so cocky about this and you'll never hear the end of it.

Mark Hoffman

You and Hoffman are coworkers and you've been dropping hints to him about your attraction to him. Today you were working with Hoffman, looking over some tapes when the discussion of how long you've been in the force came up.

When Hoffman mentioned when he graduated from the police academy and made a comment about how he's old you smiled and said, "Good thing I love old men."

He laughed it off at first then got a little defensive about how he's "not that old". You explained to him that you never meant it to be rude, you just meant to say that you find older men attractive.

He just nodded his head and went back to watching the tape over. But over the next few days he kept thinking about what you said. It's the most outwardly flirty you've been with him before. When he next sees you he asks you out and you accept.

Peter Strahm

You're on a date with him after being introduced to each other by a mutual friend. He took you somewhere nice and he's driving you home. You both feel a strong connection.

He mentions how long he's been working in the FBI and makes a comment about how you must think he's so old. But when you chuckle and tell him "Don't worry, I love old men." He chuckles too.

Peter isn't too much older than you but he still finds your comment funny. He asks you why and when you talk about how older men are more mature, provide stability, and they're just hot, he smiles and puts a hand on your thigh.

He thinks about your comment for awhile after the date. The comment and how well the date went leads him to asking you out again, which you of course say yes to.

Hannibal Lecter

You met Hannibal at an opera and he found you very attractive. He invited you over for dinner later in the week and you accepted. He made sure to make an impressive meal for you, which isn't hard for him to do.

You two start talking over dinner and Hannibal talks about his career as a surgeon then as a psychiatrist. He makes a comment about how you must think he's very old and you reply with, "I don't mind at all. I love old men."

He chuckles and says he's not that old. You tell him you know that but you start talking about how you love a man who looks more mature and has his life well put together.

The dinner goes well and he invites you over again later in the month. But he can't stop thinking about your comment. He knows he's an older man but he doesn't think he's that old. But the comment doesn't get to him too much because you like him anyway.

Bo Sinclair

You're sitting with Bo in his garage while he's working on a car. You're reading an old magazine when you start to giggle. He asks you what's so funny and you talk about how hot this model is.

When you show him the model Bo talks about how he looks pretty old to which you reply with "I love old men." Bo sets down his tool and looks at you.

"Are you saying I'm old, darlin'?" He asks you. You think for a moment before you tell him no. Bo is in his early 30's and you don't really consider that old.

You have to explain to him that by "old men" you mean men in their 40's and above. Bo will tease you about this constantly. Any time you two see an older man, either it being in a movie or a victim he asks you if he's your type.

tw : piss, SATIRE!!!, uh s🗣️icide, yaoi part 2/2

Peter was puzzled, confused as hell. “Drink.” Hoffman said as he started to guzzled down his big macs, stuffing two in his face at a time. Peter finished both cokes quickly, tense about what could happen next. “Do you want to get it on like donkey kong?” Mark asked. Peter really wanted to bone Hoffman so he agreed. “Yeah let’s do it in the back seat” he said. They began to have sex, Hoffmans tiny itty bitty little shrimp genitals sliding in and out of Peters unwashed butthole. 20 minutes in, Peter really had to piss. “Wait hold on I need to piss real quick.” Peter said, regretting saying anything at all the second the words left his mouth. Mark started to get hot. “pull your drawers up.” Mark demanded, with ill intent. Peter pulled his undies up, his balls sore from all the cheek clapping. “Piss yourself for daddy kitten.” Hoffman ordered whilst touching himself. 10 minutes had gone by, and Peter began to whimper. His bladder started to burn, his body wasn’t working like it used to. Hoffmans left hand started to get sore, so he began pressing down right below Peters abdomen. Strahms fave started to get hot, moments before disaster. Lawrence came by the window, yelling at them to pull up. Lawrence stood there in horror as he witnessed peter pissing himself and mark busting seconds later. He began limping, trying to run away, he was terrified. He then fired Peter as fast as he could. Afterwards, Peter got the notification that he’d been fired. His skin started to feel hot again, and he started to search through Hoffmans glove box. He came upon a pistol, which he then used to shoot himself with. His blood and guts splattered against the inside of Hoffmans gay little subaru. Hoffman snatched the gun out of his cold, dead hands and shot himself twice. The first time didnt go through from all the fat.

i know it wont make sense for adam to appear in saw x but i'll just throw my proposal out there anyway: since saw x is about medical malpractice, dr gordon appears in one scene to explain everything to the audience. adam walks in with his camera and kisses his doctor boyfriend on the mouth. lynn and amanda also enter and they are holding the lesbian flag. strahm is also there for some reason. hoffman

hello there

i am here again genderbending the living shit out of saw

I literally can’t draw them seriously😕they’re just so silly I can’t

got Saw on the brain