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storiesforallfandoms · 3 years

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fantasies ~ ewan mcgregor

word count: 2168

request?: yes!

@victoriaharkness “smut with ewan mcgregor when reader doesn't know how to tell him about her sexual fantasies(light bdsm,sir kink type thing) ?”

description: in which her reputation as the innocent one makes it hard for her to tell him all her sexual fantasies

pairing: ewan mcgregor x female!reader

warnings: swearing, smut

masterlist (one, two)

One of the best and worst things about having a reputation of being “innocent” was the reactions you got when you told your partners about your kinks.

They weren’t even intense kinks or anything, but the fact that you were into something besides just plain vanilla sex often shocked whoever you were with at the time. You even had one ex tell you he thought you were a virgin before him, which made you laugh in his face. It was safe to say that relationship didn’t last much longer after that.

You had plenty of practice telling your partners about what you were into sexually, and you had definitely gotten used to the wide variety of reaction you got from telling them. However, for some reason, you were still finding it hard to try and tell Ewan about your kinks.

You had never worried about a negative reaction from any of your exes, but with Ewan it was different. Even in the short amount of time that you were together, you knew that he was someone you wanted to be with for the rest of your life. You were sure he wouldn’t judge you for your kinks, but there was still that small part of your brain that was convinced that maybe he would. Maybe he wouldn’t be into them, or maybe he wouldn’t like that you weren’t as innocent as he thought you were. You were terrified of ruining the relationship even though you kept mentally reminding yourself that it wouldn’t be your fault if Ewan wasn’t into the things you liked.

You had been trying to tell him for days, but every time you would build up the courage to ask him you would immediately chicken out again. The longer it took for you to get the words out, the more nervous you became. The anticipation of finally doing it was starting to grow and you were terrified to finally get it out.

When you did finally manage to tell him...well, it wasn’t exactly the best time.

You were both watching a movie at his place. Your nervousness was starting to bubble over, and when a sex scene started in the movie you knew you couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“I’m into BDSM.”

Ewan looked at you with confusion and you could feel your face heating up with embarrassment. Good timing, (Y/N).

“What?”

You sighed and looked down at your lap. You couldn’t face him, but you also couldn’t take back what you said. It was out there now, no turning back.

“I’ve been trying to tell you for a while,” you started. “But I kept chickening out, and...I guess I couldn’t keep it in for any longer.”

“What do you mean?”

“Everyone thinks I’m so innocent in the bedroom because I’m so innocent in public, but the truth is...I’m into BDSM. Like...light BDSM. I like being tied up, sometimes blindfolded and gagged, and choked and spanked, and I like to be called pet or princess, and I like calling my partner sir on certain occasions. I know it doesn’t really seem like much, but it always shocks people when I tell them and I didn’t want to keep it a secret from you for much longer.”

“And you decided now, while we’re watching a movie on the couch, was a good time to tell me?”

You cringed at this. God, you ruined the mood!

“I...I guess having it on my mind plus the sex scene just made keeping the secret too unbearable. I wanted to get it out there and to finally have it off my chest because I’ve been dreading your reaction for days now. Not that I think you’d react badly, but you can never really know how people will take learning that type of thing, and if it’s not something you’re into personally I understand, and - ”

You were cut off by Ewan’s lips roughly pressing against yours. His hands roughly grabbed your body, pulling you onto his lap and holding you tightly against him. You were shocked at first, but found it easy to melt into this kiss. Shivers were running up and down your spine as his hands explored your body.

You tried to deepen the kiss by attempting to slip your tongue into his mouth, but he grabbed your throat and pushed you away. You gasped as his grip around your throat tightened slightly, just enough to make you feel lightheaded.

“Listen to me,” he said, “you will not do anything unless I tell you to, and you will do absolutely everything I say. Do you understand?” You nodded and your eyes widened as his hold tightened slightly again. “Use your words, pet.”

“Yes.”

“Yes what?”

Fuck! You could feel your panties becoming more and more damp with every word he said. “Yes sir.”

“Good girl.”

He kissed you again before picking you up in his arms and heading towards his bedroom, your movie abandoned all together.

He threw you down onto the bed and hovered over you. You wanted nothing more than to lean up and kiss him, or to pull him down on top of you, but you weren’t sure of what type of punishment that would inflict on you.

After a moment, he kissed your forehead and stood. You watched him approach his closet and rummage in it for a moment before coming back with a tie in his hand. He looked down at you as he approached the bed, cupping your cheek with one hand and running his thumb across your lip. Almost instinctively, you took his thumb in your mouth and began to suck on it. He groaned at the action and you could see the bulge in his pants becoming bigger.

Ewan took his hand away from your face and took hold of your shirt, roughly pulling it off and throwing it onto the floor. He then shoved you down onto the bed and took hold of your wrists in his hands. He held them above your head and straddled your body so that you couldn’t move. He began tying your wrists to the headboard, making sure there was no way you’d be able to escape your restraints.

With you officially under his mercy, he knelt between your legs and ran his hands over your exposed upper half. You shivered as his hands ran up from your stomach, specifically coming to stop on your breasts. You let out a whimper as he pinched your nipples between his fingers. He leaned forward, purposely pressing himself between your legs to tease you further.

Your eyes rolled back into your head as his lips pressed against your neck, kissing and sucking there until he was sure he had left a hickey on you. He started to move down then, kissing painfully slowly down your body. He kissed and nipped at your boobs, taking each of your nipples in his mouth and sucking on them for a while. Your breathing started to increase as he got closer and closer to the place where you wanted him most.

He stopped just above the waistband of your pants, his hands reaching up to grab them but not making any motions to remove them.

“Do you want these gone, princess?” he asked.

“Y-Yes sir,” you stuttered out.

He pulled your pants down your legs, leaving you in just your panties. Ewan kissed your thighs and around your panties, making sure not to kiss you in the one spot that you wanted more than anything. Your head pressed against your pillow as you let out little whimpers. You had to stop yourself from bucking your hips up desperately, knowing that would definitely earn you a punishment.

“Do you want these gone, too?” he asked, pulling your panties aside enough that he could rub your swollen clit. You gasped as you tried to respond, but every time you opened your mouth he would rub a little faster. “Come on, pet, tell me exactly what you want.”

“I-I want you,” you finally managed.

“Where do you want me?”

You moaned as he slipped a finger into your wet pussy, pumping it in and out at a painfully slow pace.

“I want you inside me,” you said. “Fuck, please put your cock so deep inside of me.”

Ewan smirked at this. “Beg some more, princess, and maybe I’ll put my cock in you.”

You almost sighed with frustration. You loved the teasing, but you were becoming so unbearably horny. All you wanted was for Ewan to fuck you until you couldn’t walk properly.

You looked up at him with innocent eyes, knowing that would drive him absolutely insane. “Pretty please, sir, put your cock so deep inside of me and make me cum all over it.”

You tried not to let your satisfaction show when your words got you exactly what you wanted. Ewan’s eyes widened and he wasted no time in pulling your panties off. You moaned as he kissed your wet core once before sitting back on his legs and starting to take his clothes off.

You watched him with anticipation, taking in every inch of the body that you loved to look at. You could feel your arousal growing as he pulled his hard member out. He pulled your legs apart and teased your entrance with his tip.

Your wrists pulled against your restraints as he slowly pushed into you, wanting nothing more than to wrap your arms around him and feel his body pressing against yours. He took your legs and wrapped them around his waist, helping him to get as deep inside of you as you wanted.

Luckily, he decided he was finished with the teasing. The moment he was deep inside of you, he started moving slowly just to let you adjust to his size inside of you, before his hips started to speed up. His thrusting became rough and the sound of his skin slapping against yours mixed with your moans and screams of pleasure.

You could feel yourself building up to your orgasm already. Your legs were starting to tremble and you could feel the familiar pressure building in your stomach, threatening to be let go at any moment.

“I’m gonna cum,” you whimpered through moans.

“Not yet, princess,” Ewan said. “You better hold that until I give you permission.”

This just drove you even more wild. You weren’t sure how you were going to keep yourself from just letting go right at that moment. You wondered what Ewan would have in mind as punishment if you disobeyed him.

Part of you wanted to be naughty just to see what he would do. This was a whole new side that you were only just getting to see, you could only imagine what he would have in mind to punish you. But you decided not to explore that part of him just yet. You wanted to savior every moment of this very dominant Ewan.

His thrusts were becoming quicker and you could feel him twitching inside of you. His hand found your throat and he squeezed slightly on it again, bringing back that lightheaded feeling from earlier. You were trying to hold out on your orgasm as much as you could, but it was starting to get too difficult.

“I-I can’t h-hold it,” you told him. “Please, sir, can I cum?”

“You can cum now, princess.”

The words were barley out of his mouth when a warming sensation filled your body. Your walls tightened around Ewan’s length as you came so hard you were sure you were seeing stars. Feeling your orgasm was enough to push him over the edge as well, and you felt him filling you up shortly after.

You whimpered as he pulled out of you, immediately missing his contact. He untied your wrists and laid next to you on the bed. You rolled over and cuddled into his side, your body still shaking from your orgasm.

“Was that what you meant when you were telling me about your kinks?” he asked, a slight smile on his face.

You giggled. “It definitely was. I’m glad you had a positive reaction to it, though.”

“Why would you think I wouldn’t? Out of all the things you could tell me, being into BDSM was definitely the least serious of it all.”

You shrugged. “It usually shocks people when I say it because everyone thinks I’m so innocent. I’ve had past boyfriends leave me for it for one reason or another.”

Ewan shook his head. “Leaving someone because of a mild sexual preference is very silly. I’d never leave you because of that. I’ll just have to hope I live up to whatever fantasies you have.”

You giggled and kissed his cheek. “You live up to every fantasy I’ve ever had, whether you’re into the same stuff that I am or not.”

Ewan smiled back at you. You both settled into the bed and found yourselves drifting off to sleep within moments.

#ewan mcgregor #ewan mcgregor imagine #ewan mcgregor x reader #ewan mcgregor smut #imagine #one shot #smut #request #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

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curious-menace · 3 years

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Have I really ever requested one thing of you (the pegging telltale Riddler h/c)? Time to change that; let's see how the Eddies would respond to being told by their partner that they're a "bad boy" and "need to be punishment" (sexually, of course) - Pegging Anon.

I really enjoy these kinds of asks. honestly just give me a blank check for mayhem, unleash me upon the riddlers like a plague of locusts

nsfw below the cut

Arkham! Riddler

please be careful with this riddler. He has problems reading peoples tone and if he thinks youre angry at him you're liable to send him into a panic.

he really doesn't like dirty talk. dont call him a slut or a whore or anything like that. Not only is it demeaning and humiliating( 2 things this riddler doesnt deal well with) its just a terrible way to get him to do what you want.

again, the idea of punishment in a sexy setting is a turn off for him. He’s afraid of being strangled or choked and he doesn't find being hit sexy.

to put it simply, this riddler reacts better to the carrot than the stick. if you want a good reaction out of him, praise and affection work better. call him a good boy, give him pets and rewards.

IF you were to coax him into it, safeword, soft restraints and reassuring from you that everything will be ok, he’ll still probably cry. he might enjoy himself but the emotional stress will still leave him in an utter state.

i know some people use BDSM to cope with trauma but maybe dont try this on him. pitch the idea and let him mull it over. dont bring it up more than once or twice and let him decide

he always needs a lot of aftercare. he needs to be constantly reassured, not just after sex, that you love him , that he’s done well. lots of kisses and soft words and let him rest from the heavy stuff for a little while.

Blacklight riddler

another riddler you need to tread carefully with. he’s a kinky shit but like...a soft kinky shit who bruises easily.

He wont need coaxing. its either a hell yes or a hell no and you shouldn't push that. He likes sex games but he’s got trauma, sometimes something that was fine yesterday is triggering today so please be gentle and respectful with him.

He doesnt mind being called a bad boy, just not too often. mix it up and don't patronise him all the time . you can tell him off without treating him like a kid.

he likes edging and orgasm denial as a punishment. just dont ruin his orgasm or he wont let you do it again.

please don't ever hit him during sex. a playful thump on the arm when he’s telling a bad joke is one thing but if you touch him roughly during the act, even if he knows its coming, he finds it triggering.

He’s pretty exclusively a sub but don't think that means he’s into punishment all the time. mostly he just likes his dominant to take care of him.

BTAS Riddler

i feel like it would throw him for a loop. he’d be confused as all hell, even if you said it in a sexy voice he might not get the message.

he’d probably scoff at the idea. the notion that he’s anything other than perfect is laughable. he’s certainly not some sort of bad boy. you should sit on his lap and get him on the same page as you. watch his mouth go dry and his eyes go wide as you explain all the things you're going to do to him for being bad. he’ll do his best to stay composed but we both know its you who’d be wearing the pants by the end of the conversation.

he’d want to be tied up. he’ll be gibbering and rambling the entire time, desperately trying to stay in control of the situation. He’ll try to do things for you but a gentle reminder that you’re in control and if he doesn't anything he’ll be punished more will have him biting his tongue.

I think humiliation works best on this one. im imagining something with rope or his suits since he’s so fond of them. maybe try and make him cum while still clothed? maybe some shibari under his suit jacket? i’ll let you decide.

he doesnt have a safeword bc he thinks its strictly a bdsm thing and refuses to admit he’s into that. he prefers to use the traffic light system. although you probably had to teach him that. before hand he was using some nonsense riddler made system involving humming different songs. ode to joy for fun/keep going and vivaldi winter for slow down. you will have to gently explain what a batshit insane idea that was.

Original Riddler

I imagine he’d be into it, moreso initially than the others. He doesnt have so much emotional baggage and he’s game to try anything once.

I dont know if he’d find the idea of punishment sexy but he’ll try it for you. he’d probably just prefer you to frame it as impact play or degradation or whatever “just because” you wanna try it. something about it being a meant as a punishment just seems weird to him

he does like being called names but in a cute playful way. he’s not liable to take offence at anything you say, inside or outside the bedroom but digs at his appearance do sting a little. even if youre “in character” so to speak when you say them. just reassure him after that you dont really think those things.

He’s one of the tallest riddlers and also has zero shame so you’ll need to be inventive when thinking of punishments. tying him up could actually hurt him with his circulation, he runs around in glittery spandex all day anyway so good luck trying to humiliate him.

Because he is so tall and strong, its hard to hurt him. you could try spanking him, ask him to count out the spanks and listen as his voice gets higher and more unsteady with each one.

actually in that note and given his penchant for dress up maybe you could try sub/dom roleplay? pretend you're a doctor/nurse or something and you're punishing him for his bad diet? if the punishment thing doesn't work out at least you’ll both get a giggle out of it.

Telltale Riddler

Oh he is absolutely going to fight you on this one “i think YOU'RE the one who needs punishing , love.” . if you want to punish him you’ll have to fight for that right

he’s never really subbed before he met you. He’s happy to show you how to punish a sub but he really needs practice letting someone else hold the reins.

he pretends he doesn't like dirty talk. if you get him riled up and start whispering filthy things in his ear he’s going to melt a little.

I cant think of a specific he’d like or something he’d find egregiously offensive, so i think you've got a blank cheque for mayhem here. do what you like and he’ll tell you then and there if he’s into it or not.

but no blinders or restraints though. he’s claustrophobic after being in that icebox. He IS an escapartist mind you. even if you put him in something he’ll have wiggled out of it before you can blink . he MIGHT tolerate something just there for aesthetics or because the fabric feels nice, like maybe his tie or your hair bow tied loosely around his arms.

in the same vein, he’s sensitive so maybe you could lightly torture him with some sensory stuff. ice cubes or wax play?

Zero year Riddler

i Cannot stress to you enough what a horny fuck this one is. at the mere MENTION of sexy punishment he’s like “oh yes punish me ive been bad “ wiggling his ass in the air like a target. will call you Daddy regardless of your gender because we all know he has issues.

He’s 100 percent going to lean into it, goad you and taunt you to punish him more, get angrier or hit him harder. he gets off on the pain, yes but he also just really enjoys being an insufferable shit.

“EDWARD THIS IS PUNISHMENT YOU ARENT SUPPOSED TO ENJOY IT” - you, probably.

i dont think the traditional sexy punishment things will work on this one. youre going to have to get creative. like tell him you are in charge of his wardrobe and death traps for the week.

something that MIGHT work would be forcing him to wear a toy or even just some lingerie under his suit. He’s going to be embarrassed as all hell because this riddler is a big buff cheeto puff who takes his appearance seriously. BUT he cant deny the thrill of maybe the lace poking out over his waist band when he bends or the outline of a bralette being seen under his shirt, isnt a little arousing.

please dont be surprised when he turns around a week later and pulls this exact same shit on you.

there you go nonnie ! this one was quite a lot of fun! i have a rule of trying not to write more than 6 points for each but it was hard to compress down this time around. so much variety in personality and temperament in the one character there's a lot to write about

got something you wana talk about? send me an ask or a dm! im always game to talk about our favorite curious menace 💚💜

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anistarrose · 5 years

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taz au: taako in raven’s roost

-Taako’s on the run, and has been for the better part of a week now. Glamour Springs is far in the distance, Sazed is gone, and so is his show. He has no idea what he’s going to do with his life now. Cooking was the one thing he was good at, the one chance he had at making a name for himself in the world, and now he’s fucked it up beyond any hope of recovering. Who would want him around now?

-He knows it’s still not safe to stop driving, and there are probably still people after him, but he doesn’t know where to go, and he’s just... so... tired...

-You could head to Raven’s Roost, he realizes all of a sudden, and in his exhaustion, he doesn’t realize that the thought is not his own, but rather a Suggestion spell.

-It makes sense, though: his show in the Roost a few months ago was received especially well, and there’s no way that news of the Glamour Springs incident has traveled that far yet. He surely won’t be able to stay there forever, but it’ll be a good place to hide out for a few days while he gathers his thoughts and plans his next moves, so he checks his map and plots a course.

-Barry watches with relief as Taako abruptly takes his stagecoach off in a different direction, towards Raven’s Roost. His family may not remember him or each other, but that’s not going to stop him from reuniting them.

-Meanwhile, not nearly as far away as Taako would have expected, Sazed stumbles across a job opening under the employment of a governor named Kalen.

-Magnus is the first person in Raven’s Roost who recognizes Taako, and immediately asks if he’s here to do another show. He specifically requests the thirty garlic clove chicken, to which Taako naturally doesn’t respond well.

-(Unbeknownst to Taako, Magnus broke down in genuine tears the last time he ate Taako’s chicken at the Raven Roost show. When Julia asked why it had such an effect on him, he replied: “It’s familiar... but not too familiar. But not too not familiar...”)

-Taako explains he doesn’t cook anymore, which prompts a lot of questions from Magnus, but Taako refuses to elaborate other than admitting he’s in a tight spot financially at the moment and asking if there’s any cheap lodging around. Magnus, being the rustically hospitable man that he is, offers Taako the spare room in the Waxman household, and Taako accepts because hey, a free room is a free room. (Even if you’re pretty sure the guy offering it to you is only in it because he’s still holding out for the chance of free food.)

-So Taako settles in to life at Raven’s Roost, doing odd non-food related magical tasks every so often to earn a little extra money. He tries to teach some of the local craftsmen basic transmutation spells, to help with certain tasks that are hard to do by hand, but Julia is the only one who shows any sort of proficiency for it.

-He’s bracing himself for news of Glamour Springs to reach the town, but it never does. He still doesn’t cook for anyone but himself, though.

-He does call out a lot of advice from the sidelines when Magnus and Julia are cooking. (”Don’t stir the cream in, fold it in! The texture you get from folding is the best part of the whole dish!” or “Try a little more rosemary! Everyone underestimates how much rosemary makes a good roast.”)

-Eventually, Taako and Magnus have a heart-to-heart, where one day Taako accidentally blurts out the truth about why he stopped cooking, and Magnus reacts with a lot more sympathy than Taako expected.

-“Maybe you could come up with a magical way to check whether any dish is safe to eat,” Magnus suggests gently. “You know me, I’m no good at magic, but aren’t there, like, divination spells that could do something like that? Would having a spell like that in your arsenal help you get over that fear?”

-Even Taako has to admit that Magnus has a surprisingly good idea for someone who’s allegedly never dealt with divination magic in his life, and he takes the advice to heart. Taako spends the next few weeks searching for all the divination-related texts he can get his hands on, trying to develop an absolutely foolproof spell that will always catch any deadly transmutation mistakes he’s made...

-Except he’s distracted more and more often now, because conflicts with a certain Governor Kalen are heating up. More unjust laws and unfair taxes are being imposed upon Raven’s Roost, and whispers of a rebellion fill the Craftsmen’s Corridor, especially the Hammer and Tongs.

-And Taako’s normally not the type to stick his neck out on other people’s behalf, but the Burnsides-Waxman family has been doing nothing but sticking their necks out for him lately, so...

-He lends his magical talents to the rebellion, and they demolish Kalen’s forces battle after battle. Kalen only has a few loyal magic users on his side, and none of them hold a candle to Taako. (He’s been casting much more potent spells ever since meeting reuniting with Magnus, just as Magnus as been fighting better ever since meeting him.)

-It’s frankly humiliating how quick and decisive the uprising is, and Kalen grows furious. He’s ready to muster all his remaining forces for one final decisive attack, more focused on revenge and racking up a body count than on victory, when his personal chef proposes an alternate idea.

-Kalen makes a very polite public announcement where he agrees to relinquish his control over Raven’s Roost, and encourages them to democratically elect a few representatives who can negotiate a peace treaty with him. He’s tired of conflict, he claims, and wants to remain on good terms with the inhabitants of Raven’s Roost if they’ll forgive him. Unsurprisingly, the town elects Magnus and Julia.

-Kalen has a mansion in Raven’s Roost that nearly the whole town is invited to on the night of the peace treaty signing, and he provides a grand feast at no expense to any members of the rebellion. But as the food is being laid out on the table, Taako recognizes not one, not two, but three of the dishes as recipes he developed specifically for his cooking show, and subtly casts his new divination spell on the thirty garlic clove chicken...

-The results are immediate and unambiguous. It’s full of arsenic.

-Taako invites Governor Kalen to sample the chicken first, since he was so generous to provide it in the first place. Kalen awkwardly refuses. Taako shouts that no one should eat the food, and rushes off to the kitchen.

-Sazed is caught off guard when Taako barges in, and freezes him in a block of ice that leaves only his head exposed while Taako rummages through the cabinet and finds several opened bottles of a variety of different poisons. Magnus drags Sazed back out to the dining room, where he confesses both to the attempted poisoning of Raven’s Roost and the recent poisoning of Glamour Springs. Kalen tries to flee, but he’s vastly outnumbered and quickly overwhelmed, and he and Sazed are both thrown in prison.

-With the threat dispatched, life in Raven’s Roost returns to normal — no, better than normal. The Roost is peaceful and prosperous in a way it hasn’t been in years.

-Taako is both the best man and the chef at Magnus and Julia’s wedding.

-He opens a restaurant soon after, in an old building that Magnus and Julia help him renovate. It’s not world famous or anything, but in Raven’s Roost and the surrounding settlements, it’s widely loved.

-Eventually this weird old dwarf wanders into town, gets a taste of Taako’s food, and breaks down in inexplicable tears of nostalgia much like Magnus once did. Merle decides he wants to stick around for a while, sets up a little stand in town where he serves as medic/lie detector for hire, and for some reason Taako and Magnus can’t help but emotionally adopt him.

-(Barry watches as Merle arrives and as he chats with Magnus and Taako for the first time in years. Even without participating in the conversation himself, he feels the bonds holding him together grow stronger with the knowledge that at least part of his family is together and happy.)

-Life is good for a few years, but everyone is growing restless. Merle wants to spread the word of Pan, Magnus and Julia want to learn new techniques from other carpenters from around the world, and Taako wants to build his brand outside of Raven’s Roost to attract new customers to his restaurant. So the four of them decide to spend a year or so traveling together, and set off in the general direction of Neverwinter.

-They run into a distant cousin of Merle’s, who offers them “the last job they’ll ever need to take,” and figure the more money to fund their travels, the better, so they take the job. As in canon, they meet Barry Bluejeans, find the Umbra Staff, and are lead to the Bureau of Balance, where all of them are inoculated.

-Julia has to exert a lot more effort than the Tres Horny Bois to resist the thrall of the relics so she doesn’t become a Reclaimer, but she makes a kick-ass Regulator alongside Team Sweet Flips, and accompanies the boys on some of their more dangerous missions, like the Miller Lab and Wonderland. She’s a transmutation wizard like Taako, but also boasts a lot of physical strength and a battle-axe proficiency that many of her opponents don’t see coming until it’s too late.

-After Refuge, she’s the only person that Magnus shows the contents of the scroll to, and she helps him piece together the existence of a second Voidfish. On the day of Story and Song, she fights alongside the Bureau of Balance and the seven birds.

-Julia and Magnus move back to Raven’s Roost after the Hunger’s defeat, and run the dog training school together. Barry and Lup are usually pretty busy with their reaper duties, but they get a house there too, where they spend a lot of their vacation time. And Taako has his school of magic to oversee, but in the summer when fewer classes are offered, he heads up to Raven’s Roost too on most weekends.

#taz #taz balance #taako taaco #magnus burnsides #julia burnsides #barry bluejeans #taz sazed #taz balance spoilers #rosalia writes misc

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isthatbloodonhisshirt · 7 years

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Jinxed

Sterek A-Z Challenge: Jinxed

Derek hated it when they were human.

Not human human, but of the human variety.

It made it harder for the group to agree they should kill them. Because if someone could be classed as human, no matter how dangerous they were, there was always the ever-boring, “There must be another way!” speech from Scott.

Sure, shove a Beserker in his face and he was fine with killing it, but the second a Kanima showed up, even if it was his worst enemy, he wanted to save it.

True story. Derek still couldn’t believe Jackson hadn’t died.

To be fair, it was probably a good thing because it made it easier for Derek to not want to kill Stiles when he’d been possessed by the Nogitsune. It would’ve been weird if he’d admitted to everyone that of all the bad guys they could kill, a possessed Stiles wasn’t one of them.

For the most part though, Derek was very adamant that dangerous things needed to be put down. Unless they were Stiles. But only Stiles, everyone else was fair game.

But herein lay the problem: they were dealing with a human type of threat, and Scott was extremely unwilling to resort to murdering them.

Derek was more than okay murdering them, because the Mage had killed over twelve people already, the sheriff was losing his mind trying to cover up the supernatural aspect of the murders, and oh yeah, bad shit usually happened when they listened to Scott.

Like now. With Stiles and Lydia kidnapped. And probably dying.

If Derek were the type of person to use sarcasm, he would slow clap at Scott and talk about what a great job he’d done. But, he wasn’t the type of person to use sarcasm—it had been beaten out of him the day he’d met Stiles—so he instead settled for scowling and being angry the entire drive to the place Deaton had told them to go.

Apparently Mages emitted some weird nature magic that made them easy to track, so he and Scott had an easy time finding them. The others had been left behind to ensure if things went wrong the town wasn’t completely defenseless, but if Scott had just listened to him when he’d said to kill her two weeks ago, they wouldn’t be in this mess.

Derek’s hands clenched the steering wheel more tightly, worry gnawing in the pit of his stomach. If anything had happened to Stiles…

Shit, he couldn’t think about that. He couldn’t think about something happening to Stiles. And he really couldn’t let Scott know how worried he was about Stiles.

He didn’t know they were dating yet. That was the advantage of always being together: they already smelled like one another, so really, there was nothing to discover. It wasn’t like he was going to get intimate with Stiles in the way his horny teenage body wanted—he was still sixteen, Derek was going to wait a few more years, he didn’t want the sheriff to shoot him—so Scott had nothing to smell.

And to be fair, it wasn’t that they were keeping it a secret, per se. It just… hadn’t come up.

“It’s up here,” Scott said, snapping Derek out of his thoughts. He looked at where the other Alpha was pointing and turned. They went down a deserted alley road that led around the back of a large factory. It had a neighbouring warehouse, which also had a neighbouring warehouse, so Derek was fairly certain they were in some kind of industrial district.

Scott was out of the car first, Derek trying not to tear his door off when he exited. Inhaling deeply, he felt both relieved and terrified when he smelled Stiles. It was an old scent, but fresh enough to have been recent. Two hours, at most. Given he’d been missing for almost three, it was the right timeline.

Sharing a look, he and Scott moved quickly and with practised ease, working together seamlessly. Scott broke the lock on the factory door and Derek went in first. He made it to the end of the corridor, making sure it was clear, and Scott passed him at the next corner, moving ahead quickly while Derek hung back.

They played this weird game of leap frog all the way to the heart of the factory they were in. It was when they turned another corner that Derek’s heart thudded in his chest. He could see Stiles and Lydia. They were both sitting in chairs, their wrists bound together behind their backs, ankles tied to the chairlegs. They were facing one another, so when he and Scott began moving forward slowly, Lydia looked up.

She saw them, but she didn’t react to their presence. She just stared at them with a frown on her face, as if recognizing them, but unable to place them.

Then, she leaned forward and whispered—well, loud-whispered, since it carried—to Stiles, “I think they lost at hide and seek.”

Stiles instantly whipped around in his chair, eyes wide and panicked, shaking his head urgently.

Derek and Scott didn’t even have time to share a look before something slammed into the wall beside Derek’s face, exploding into dust.

Wolfsbane.

Luckily Scott hadn’t been close enough to inhale any and Derek had been exhaling when it hit the wall. It made his eyes sting and he was momentarily blinded, but he stumbled away before any permanent damage could be done. He heard Scott roar and shook his head, blinking hard and trying to clear his vision.

By the time he could see again, Scott and the Mage were fighting across the open area Stiles and Lydia were in. He seemed to have things under control, but every time he dodged a spell, it risked hitting the other two.

Derek rushed forward, claws extended, and sliced through the ropes around Stiles’ wrists. He hastily shook them off while Derek freed his legs and then began working on Lydia.

“We have to go!” Stiles insisted, grabbing at Lydia’s arm once she was free. She still looked confused, but she was slowly startling to giggle. “We have to get you out!”

“You go. Take Lydia. We’ll be fine.”

“No, Der!” Derek was a little surprised at the nickname. Stiles never called him that. “She wants you! And Scott! We have to leave! Now!”

“What does she want from us?” Derek asked while shoving the other two towards safety when another spell narrowly missed them all. Once they were around a corner, he stopped, searching Stiles’ face. Lydia looked like she was drunk.

Stiles stared at him, face contorted and turning red, like he was straining to do something. Licking his lips, he exhaled sharply and spoke once more.

“She wants both of you. You’re…” Stiles trailed off for a second and then let out an angry sound.

“Because we’re what?” Derek asked, getting impatient. “Werewolves? Alphas?”

“Yes!” Stiles said, pointing at him with both hands. “Yes, that!”

“He’s really pretty,” Lydia said, and Derek shifted his gaze to look at her, confused, because she was leaning into him and touching his face, scratching at his stubble.

“No, Lyds, stop it.” Stiles grabbed her wrist and pulled her back. She instead shifted her weight into Stiles and giggled, resting her head on his shoulder but keeping her eyes on Derek.

Derek didn’t have time to worry about what was wrong with her. He just told them both to get out and turned to help Scott. Whatever this Mage wanted, he didn’t want her to get it, and Scott was by himself right now.

She had him in some kind of binding spell when Derek appeared. They quickly discovered that she couldn’t use magic on both of them at the same time, and whatever she needed from them, she obviously couldn’t damage them.

It was a much faster battle once they worked together. They overpowered her quickly, Scott found the crystal being used to control her magic, and once it was smashed, the Mage screamed so loudly that she would’ve made Lydia proud.

Then she passed out.

Derek and Scott argued over whether or not to bring her with them now that she was powerless and human once more. Derek wanted to leave her to find her own way home, but Scott insisted that they couldn’t do that.

The only reason he conceded defeat was because a few of the hospitalized patients from her attacks needed cures, and when they called Deaton, he said he needed the crystal shards as well as the Mage to determine what kind of magic she used so he could reverse it—if it was even possible to reverse it.

Derek let Scott carry her out, because he wasn’t going to considering he didn’t even want to bring her back. She didn’t deserve a ride back to town.

They exited the factory to find Stiles’ Jeep beside Derek’s car. Evidently the Mage had forced him to drive up there. Derek wanted to go back with him, but nobody was allowed to drive his car, so he just moved up to Stiles’ driver’s side window while Scott got the Mage into the Camaro.

“We’re going to the clinic. You lead. If anything happens, I want you ahead of us.”

Stiles said nothing, he just nodded, and forced Lydia’s hand away from the gear shift without even looking. Derek frowned at her.

“Is she okay?”

“No,” Stiles admitted.

Derek’s gaze shifted back to him. Now that Stiles was okay, that he was safe, he could relax enough to see that something was very wrong. The set of his jaw, the tenseness of his shoulders, the anger blazing in his eyes.

“Are you okay?” he asked quietly.

Stiles was silent for a moment, then he said, “No.”

Immediately, Derek’s senses went on overdrive. He tried to determine what was wrong by scent and sight alone. Lydia just smelled confused, and a little upset, like she felt that Stiles was being mean to her because he kept taking her by the wrist and pulling her hand away from things in the Jeep.

Stiles just smelled angry and miserable and frustrated. It was hard to pinpoint any one thing, and that made Derek extremely uncomfortable.

“Stiles—”

“Not now,” he insisted, hand tightening around the steering wheel. The other had moved to pull Lydia’s wrist once more when she turned on the windshield wipers. “When we get back.”

Derek wasn’t happy about it, but Stiles made it fairly clear he wasn’t going to discuss it now, because he rolled up his window and drove away. Derek had to speed a little bit to actually catch up to him once the Camaro was back on the road.

“Something’s wrong,” Derek said.

“I heard.” Scott had that weird look on his face that Derek could never decipher between constipated or worried. He was going to guess worried, in this case.

They said nothing for the drive back, following behind the Jeep the whole way. When it pulled into the parking lot of the clinic, Derek and Scott were out of the Camaro before Stiles had even finished unbuckling his seatbelt.

Scott was bringing the unconscious Mage into the building, Deaton holding the door open for him. Derek just watched Stiles help Lydia unbuckle her seatbelt and coax her out of the car. She took his hand when she hit the ground, looking around.

Derek’s frown deepened, but Stiles avoided his gaze and followed after Scott and Deaton. Derek took up the rear, the three of them meeting up with the other two in the back. The Mage had been put down on one of the metal examination tables, and the shards of the crystal were in a tray on Deaton’s desk. He and Scott were bent down over it.

Deaton probably knew what he was looking at. Scott likely didn’t, but he kept nodding as Deaton spoke. Derek ignored them, watching Stiles and Lydia.

The redhead kept trying to reach out for things, but Stiles would stop her and force her hand back to her side. Her other hand was still clutched tightly in his own.

“Well, that makes sense,” Deaton finally said, straightening. When Derek looked back over, the crystal had weird blue steam coming from it and was glowing yellow. Deaton was holding a little pouch in his hand. “She didn’t know what she was doing. She probably didn’t mean to kill anyone, she just wanted someone’s attention.”

Scott gave him a really annoying “told you so!” look, but Derek just crossed his arms and asked Deaton to explain. Apparently the crystal was being used to jinx people, and some of the jinxes inadvertently ended up being fatal. The Mage was new, according to Deaton, so she probably hadn’t realized that the deaths were her fault.

“Stiles said she wanted us,” Derek said, turning to Stiles, who was holding both of Lydia’s hands and hissing quietly at her. “Stiles.”

“What?” he turned to them, the word almost half snapped. He seemed to realize that and winced, but didn’t apologize. “I don’t know why.”

“Could be for the bite,” Scott mused, crossing his arms and shrugging. “She didn’t seem interested in hurting us. She just wanted us contained. Maybe her or someone she knows needs the bite and she was trying to get an Alpha for it.”

“Perhaps,” Deaton agreed. “We can ask her when she wakes up. I’ll need her help to reverse all the jinxes she put on people. I’m assuming she’ll be willing to help once she realizes what she’s done.” Deaton paused, then frowned. “You’ve been awfully quiet over there,” he said to Stiles.

Stiles’ mouth set in a hard line, an annoyed frown on his face.

“You’re jinxed, aren’t you? And so is Lydia.”

“Are they gonna be okay?” Scott asked urgently, overlapping with Derek’s furious, “What do you mean jinxed?!”

“It depends on the severity of what’s been done,” Deaton said, moving forward. Stiles was still holding Lydia’s hands, but she’d started whining and was stamping her feet impatiently, trying to free them from his grasp. “Lydia seems to be acting rather childish.”

“She took what we care for most,” Stiles muttered. “Her mind.”

“What did she take from you? You seem fine,” Scott said, then frowned. “Mostly.”

Something occurred to Derek then.

“Stiles, say my name.”

Stiles let out a huge sigh. “Der.”

“What am I?”

He got a glare for that. “A man.”

“What kind of man?”

“A man who is a wolf.”

“Say Werewolf.”

Stiles stared at him, and started going red in the face, like he was straining to say the word, but incapable of it.

“You’re unable to speak words that are more than one syllable,” Deaton said, evidently catching on to what Derek had been doing. “She took your vocabulary.”

“And I love that so much!” Stiles insisted, looking angry. “What’s the point of big words if I can’t use them?!”

“At least you can still talk. And act your age,” Scott said, eying Lydia, who was giggling and using one of her trapped hands to poke her finger against one of Stiles’ red cheeks.

“Help me,” Stiles whined. “Do you know how hard it is to speak like this? It’s not fun. Fix me. Stop that!” He said this last bit to Lydia, turning to her, annoyed.

“Well, the good news is you aren’t in any danger. The bad news is I won’t be able to fix you until she wakes up.” He motioned the Mage. Derek was glad he’d let Scott talk him into bringing her. “You may as well go home and get some sleep.”

Stiles very emphatically motioned Lydia.

“Ah.” That was all Deaton had to say.

They were all silent for a moment, then Scott sighed. “I’ll take her. Maybe Kira can come by and help me with her.” He glanced at Stiles. “You gonna be okay?”

He gave a sarcastic thumbs up. Scott pressed his lips together, then pulled out his phone to call Kira. Stiles led Lydia back out of the clinic, getting her into the Jeep and buckled in. When Scott climbed into the back to get a ride, Derek stopped Stiles before he disappeared inside as well.

“I’ll wait for you at your place.”

Stiles hesitated, then nodded and climbed into the Jeep.

Derek watched it drive off before heading back inside, walking in on Deaton sitting at his desk, going through a book comprised of weird symbols.

“Are they going to be okay?”

“I’m a little concerned about Lydia, if I’m being honest, but Stiles should be fine. As long as he doesn’t try too hard to say things he can’t, there shouldn’t be any lasting effects.”

Derek scowled, not liking that answer, but he’d take it. As long as Stiles didn’t die like the others. True, not all of them had died, but twelve was a large number.

He left without another word, climbing into the Camaro and driving to Stiles’ house. Parking down the street so people wouldn’t see his car in the driveway, he walked the half a block to Stiles’ house. He used the usual entrance—Stiles’ open window, he really needed to shut that—and then sat down in his chair in the dark.

He waited for almost twenty minutes before the sound of the Jeep approaching reached him. It was obvious it was the Jeep, because he heard what sounded like a broken piece of junk held together by duct tape, and that was essentially what the Jeep sounded like.

Stiles exited the Jeep once he’d parked and then unlocked the front door. Derek listened to him shuffle around downstairs for a few minutes before footsteps padded up the stairs. Stiles pushed open his door, turned on the light, and then started so badly Derek actually heard his heart stutter.

“Shit! Turn on the lights when you’re here!”

Derek stood in one fluid motion, moving up to Stiles. The other took a small step back, like he was worried for a second, but when the Werewolf closed the distance, he stood his ground. Derek reached out one hand, palming the side of Stiles’ face and pressing his forehead against the other’s.

“Are you okay?”

Stiles exhaled shakily and shook his head.

“What if he can’t fix me?”

“Deaton will definitely fix you,” Derek said, the words almost a snarl. “You’re gonna be fine, understand? Tomorrow, we’re gonna laugh about this, and you’re going to be back to your usual annoying self, talking a mile a minute.”

Stiles just nodded to that and let out another shaky breath, closing his eyes. Derek could tell how scared he was. It was strange, because they had been through far worse than this before. People had almost died, there had been injuries and kidnappings and all kinds of dangerous situations and while he’d been scared, he’d taken them all in stride. Sometimes he was even cocky about them.

But now? Stiles was scared, like he didn’t think this would ever be fixed. Like he thought he’d be stuck this way forever. And Derek hated that.

He sighed and pulled away, ignoring the way Stiles clung to the front of his shirt, as if not wanting him to leave.

“Come on, let’s get some sleep.” Derek moved to the bed, kicking off his shoes and lying down, still fully clothed.

“But… My dad…” Stiles didn’t seem to know what to say, but not because of his inability to speak.

“I’ll leave before he gets home.” Derek waited, but Stiles didn’t move. Eventually, he raised both eyebrows and looked down at the empty spot beside him.

Rubbing the back of his head, Stiles hesitated, then sighed and shut the bedroom door. He locked it for good measure, then turned off the light. Derek watched him move with ease in the darkness, which was amusing when he considered how clumsy Stiles usually was in the dark. He was used to his room, he supposed.

When he lay down beside him, Derek wrapped his arms around him and dragged him closer, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply. Stiles was okay. He was safe.

Sure, he was jinxed, but he would be okay. Deaton would fix this and everything would be back to normal.

Derek stayed motionless like that until he heard Stiles’ breathing even out and his heart rate slow. Then, and only then, did he bend his head down to kiss his forehead.

This kid was going to be the death of him, and he honestly couldn’t find it in him to mind.

END.

#isthatbloodonhisshirt #isthatbloodonhisshirt works #isthatbloodonhisshirt a-z #Sterek A-Z Challenge #Sterek A-Z #Jinxed #Teen Wolf #TW #Stiles Stilinski #Derek Hale #Sterek #Scott McCall #Lydia Martin #Alan Deaton

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thesinglesjukebox · 4 years

Video

youtube

JUSTIN BIEBER - YUMMY

[2.68]

Well, we thought about the Yummy, we said “Biebs, you’re fucking high...”

Alex Clifton: Why are straight boys like this? [2]

Leah Isobel: Justin Bieber's greatest strength as a vocalist is - was - playing very dumb phrases extremely straight, investing them with almost overflowing, doe-eyed emotion. This quality could turn a one-word chorus into poetry, or he could U-turn into knowing comedy when the phrases and ideas got dumb enough. On "Yummy," though, Bieber meets his match in a title phrase that's too winkingly juvenile even for his reformed child-star tenor. More than that, he sounds tired, like he doesn't even want to be playing this game anymore - his high notes have turned nasal and yelpy, his low register more empty air than resonance. I can imagine the Bieber of "Boyfriend" or "Beauty and a Beat" really feasting on this track, but 2020 Bieber needs more than vapid concepts to regurgitate on a semi-trendy beat. Those doe eyes have turned dead. [2]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: This would be a generous [6] if it were 2013 and this was one of the lesser tracks on Journals. More than six years later, and "Yummy" just sounds like... nothing? People complained that Ciara singing "yummy" was a mistake, but Bieber does something infinitely worse: he makes it devoid of any and all feeling. [3]

Ashley Bardhan: What can I say when Justin already said it all himself -- "you got the yum, yum-yum"? This song sounds like it would be Noah Centineo's ringtone. [1]

Thomas Inskeep: "Yeah, you got that yummy-yum" -- is Bieber trying to sound like an idiot? Because guess what, he succeeds. The production's generic pop-trap, and the lyrics are moronic beyond measure. About as yummy as food left in a dumpster at the height of summer for a week. [1]

Brad Shoup: Yummy is a fine word, acceptable even: couples are (or usually are) goofy. Things like yummy tend to slip out. It's the shiver he puts into the line "never runnin' low on supplies" that truly haunts. Wild how a couple years ago, the vocal manipulation would be front and center. Now, the up- and down-pitched yummies are practically invisible. Maybe by 2021 they'll be gone. [3]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: Justin Bieber choruses work best when framed around a question: "What do you mean?" "Is it too late now to say sorry?" "Can we still be friends?" "Can we keep each other company?" "Where are yoü now?" See, Justin has never been the sexiest or suavest pop star in the world, but these big, pontificating questions sound nice. Fill in the blank answer with whatever you want; Justin is just the handsome chauffeur taking you to your destination. It becomes a problem, then, when he's asked to sell something more direct; he just sounds silly and unconvincing. "Yeah, you got that yummy-yum, that yummy-yum, that yummy-yummy" is already a weak chorus to begin with, something even a Bruno Mars, Childish Gambino or Drake would have difficulty pulling off. Here, we have Bieber: selling this positive statement with the enthusiasm of someone politely pretending to like something they don't. [3]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: The beat of "Yummy" sounds like a horny remix of the Wii Shop theme. It is by a wide margin the best part of the song. [2]

Alfred Soto: As abstracted a signifier of post-adolescent yearning as Bryan Ferry is a holy spirit of divine melancholy, Justin Bieber could be Swae Lee or Arthur Lee. He chirps over this here trap beat because he can't chew on it -- where are the yums? I smiled only at the line about walking in house slippers. [3]

Nortey Dowuona: The problem with Justin Bieber is that he's not interesting enough to really write about, musically, gossipcally or at all. The smooth, loping bass with sweeping, swallago synths and dispassionate synth progressions or the dull, flat drums are too interesting for Bieber to dully fumble over while not being able to play around with his limited range in the slightest the way a Frank Ocean or a Dappy or even a YBN Cordae could. At least it's short. [5]

Ian Mathers: Every day Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping inches closer to being a documentary. [4]

Katherine St Asaph: OK, but I can go listen to Usher's "Lemme See," Chromatics' "Lady" and Ciara's "Dance Like We're Making Love" and get the same nocturnal streetlights-on-rain mood without also hearing Justin Bieber sing "yummy." [3]

Scott Mildenhall: Whether or not this is a song whose authors think is commercially astute, it is fantastically stupid in a way that seems too witless to have been so engineered. It was awkward enough when Harry Styles pressed the "belly" button, but to hang a whole song on the word "yummy" is both comical and, to extend the juvenilia further, icky. Though perhaps this is a path to follow. Bieber will already have fans who weren't born before "One Time" (or were babies as of "Baby"), so why not go an eenie meenie bit further and make the video a toy unboxing? Children are the future! [4]

Will Adams: Somehow less convincing and more juvenile/slightly creepy than when Bieber called his girl an "eenie meenie miney mo lover" ten years ago. [3]

Oliver Maier: Justin Bieber spent his teens trying to sound grown-up, then spent his early 20s trying to sound like a teenager. Purpose's singles posited him as a golden-hearted hottie grappling with adolescent naivety, who hurts your feelings or doesn't quite get it but is still trying, dangit. There was naturally a manipulative subtext to that cluelessness, but for whatever reason -- maybe that tension is interesting, maybe the songs were just catchy -- he remained compelling, and still felt out of our league. These days, I guess he's content to sound like nothing whatsoever. "Yummy" surrenders a few too many brain cells both in composition (this doesn't sound like a song anybody cared about writing) and execution (Justin Bieber sounds like the most tediously simpering man on the planet). There are shadows of good melodies here and there, if you're feeling generous, but it is simply too half-formed, and so cutesy and content that it nukes Bieber's sensuality altogether. I can't decide whether to cringe or take a nap. [3]

Will Rivitz: Three points to this as a conceptual exercise -- I didn't think it possible to sanitize "Hotline Bling" even more than the original. That's all it gets. [3]

Kylo Nocom: Awful metaphors and unsexy sex talk as bait for detractors to publicly (and correctly) declare awful. It's the same strategy as "Earth" and as the bizarre lead singles of other stars' comebacks: get the fans liking it, and the haters furious at how stupid it is. What "Yummy" does have is plenty of melodic tricks, and a beat like this would've popped off in 2016. Yet giving this any credit feels like rewarding a transparent cash-in when he's had far more attractive come-ons. [4]

Kayla Beardslee: Obviously "Yummy" isn't good. Obviously I was never personally going to like it. Obviously we as a collective are going to hate it. But what am I actually supposed to do with it? The Justin Bieber hate train has whirred back into full force -- the video is 15% disliked, and articles (plus offhand internet comments) criticizing him, the rollout, and the music are already being pumped out. He took over four years to come back after Purpose, but has been dropping a steady stream of features in the interim: Bieber has simultaneously faded from the public eye as a solo artist and overexposed himself as an inconsistent, practically anonymous guest feature. There's no hype for his return, except among diehard fans who would assemble no matter the timing or quality. It feels like being force fed. And yet, although "Yummy" is a joyless combination of beige and sleaze, I'm still hesitant to gleefully condemn it. As a song, sure, it's unpleasant and Purpose-less and not what he needed to kick off a successful era. But, let's be real, "Yummy" is such a nothing that trashing of the music can easily transfer onto Bieber himself, and so much of the hate is not (for lack of a better term) in good faith. If you're going to criticize Bieber, call him out for things like idolizing Chris Brown and patronizing Hillsong (deciding whether the latter is actually bad is complicated, but it's certainly been a topic of conversation around him). But how many people in a social media crowd are going to provide balanced criticisms of difficult topics like these? Bieber's music has been marketed toward teen girls, he has a pretty voice that some might judge as feminine, he just dyed his hair pink, he's making trendy pop and chasing traditional masculine and commercial markers of success: these are all fodder for cheap shots and knee-jerk hate across a variety of communities. I've seen people (a friend, a relative) react to mentions of Justin Bieber with mild disgust -- literally just his name is a repellent. Of course, Bieber carries himself with a cocky attitude that's easy to hate (probably what happens when you're forced into the ridiculous freedom and unique restrictions of celebrity when you're a naive teenager). Of course, he's built a reputation for acting like a terrible person many times in the past. Of course, Bieber is a straight white man who has a layer of security against harassment that artists like, for example, Lizzo don't have. And yet I constantly remember that Bieber has spoken out about battling depression, and I feel uncomfortable joining the pile-on. And really, what is there to enjoy about trashing him or "Yummy"? The track is bland and unambitious, except for when it's actively repelling ("get litty, babe"; the entire fucking premise of "yummy"). Bieber doesn't even sound like he cares. At first, I thought his team must have chosen a song named "Yummy" as a lead single for the same reason scammers still send Nigerian prince emails: immediately weed out the people who have no patience for it, and focus instead on reaching the sympathetic (his fanbase) and the oblivious (the general public bogeyman that passively consumes hits through playlists). And then I learned that the bridge namedrops Bieber's own house slipper brand, in a dumb, out of touch move that only a rich celebrity would approve of. That single moment makes me think his team is, in fact, desperate enough to coast on soulless music and hope to profit off Bieber's previous reputation and work alone. We're all just tired, aren't we? [1]

Jibril Yassin: Justin Bieber, a generational vocal talent, is trying to channel Post Malone here and all that comes to mind is a xerox of the Spider-Man pointing at Spider-Man meme. Can we get Usher to come back and fix this? [1]

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#Justin Bieber #pop #music #music review

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