#p: erin nichols
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FINAL IDEA - COLLABORATIVE ARTS PRECINCT
Sip and Paint & Collaborative Art Wall
There has been a common theme with restructuring urban waterfronts, where either the area is developed into a non-place, or it creates a social elite cultural area (Kostopoulou, 2013). Meaning either no one is using the space, or one social group is. Thus, there needs to be a combination of both sides, which includes the existing qualities of the area - infrastructure, nature, historical, and cultural - to be integrated with the innovation of social and economic change (Kostopoulou, 2013). The North Shore Sip and Paint classes have various genres and materials that are inviting for any social group. Additionally, the collaborative art wall constantly provides an area for artists to promote their art. There will always be artists who want to publicise their talent. Thus, the space is constantly being used, and can easily adapt to ever-changing trends.
Will be held here:
(Randolph, E., A. (2016). Young People Painting at an Outdoor Art Class [Photograph]. Dreamstime. https://www.dreamstime.com/editorial-stock-photo-young-people-painting-outdoor-art-class-americana-park-avenue-rutherford-nj-usa-local-business-holds-park-image74212273)
There will be food trucks to purchase dinner, which will be on the dock:
(Shorty’s Food Truck. (n.d.). Home. https://shortysfoodtruck.com.au/)
Tables and chairs set up in the hangar:
There can be a collaboration with Brisbane’s local artists, and have a different artist each night. Every artist has their own style, so people would have the option to paint all genres and with all materials.
For example, looking at some of Brisbane’s most famous artists, Paul Franklin is known for his colour and texture predominately through abstract and pop-themed work (Wye, 2021):
(Franklin, P. (n.d.). Ice Gold 120cm x 150cm White Blue Gold Textured Abstract Painting [Painting]. Franklin Art Studio, Brisbane, Qld, Australia. https://www.franklinartstudio.com.au/collections/brand-new-paintings-for-sale-online/products/ice-gold-120cm-x-150cm-white-blue-gold-textured-abstract-painting)
Another example is Erin Nicholls, who does oil paintings of landscapes primarily (Wye, 2021). Classes could be something simple as it would be a 2-3 hour session, and similar to:
(Nicholls, E. (2023). Neon [Oil Painting]. Erin Nicholls, Brisbane, Qld, Australia. https://www.erinnicholls.com/other-artworks-2)
A good incorporation could be sidewalk chalk art, and the cement space by the hangar could be utilised in those sessions:
(Roskopp, J. (2020). How one family’s sidewalk chalk art brings joy to neighbors during quarantine. Click on Detroit. https://www.clickondetroit.com/features/2020/07/03/how-one-familys-sidewalk-chalk-art-brings-joy-to-neighbors-during-quarantine/)
There would be and inclusion of 1 session a week on Aboriginal paintings, and have an Aboriginal take the class. It would also be a great opportunity for the class to learn about the culture and history. Additionally, this enhances the site and experience for visitors as it utilises the unique, historical, and cultural aspect of the space (Kostopoulou, 2013).
To book a session, you can do so online and the layout would be a month-view calendar with the images of the painting they would be doing in that session on that day with the artist and time:
I considered adding the skill level - e.g. beginner - but I didn’t want that to deter people from participating. Such as, marking a session as ‘expert’ may discourage the beginners to come.
There will be a wall built where artists can rent the space and paint their art on their section. There will be a dedicated section for up and coming Aboriginal artists also. It would be built down the middle of this path:
I thought to put it on the left side, but then that only showcases one side of the wall. So I thought to put down the middle so more artists can show their work.
There could also be a collaboration with art suppliers who sell their products at the end of the sessions, or at some sessions. Since the customers would be interested in art, it is a good way for these companies to be promoted. In return, they can supply materials for the sessions at discounted prices.
There can be sessions throughout the day, however in summer, late afternoon would be ideal as it is cooler and since this is outside, there is no air-conditioning. There will be shading, similar to this:
(Project Shade, (n.d.). Our Products. https://www.projectshade.com.au/our-products/)
Sessions will start at 4pm Monday-Friday and will finish between 6pm-6:30pm. Then, there is the option to purchase dinner that is from Eat Street as there will be food trucks and everyone can eat in the hangar on the provided tables and chairs. This will be dependent on whether Eat Street owns any moveable food trucks that can easily be relocated. Looking through the images of Eat Street, there are a few places that look like they’re in vans.
Any sessions that finish at 6pm on Fridays and Saturdays, there will be no food trucks but there will be encouragement to go to Eat Street for dinner. There can be different food for each session, so then all stores from Eat Street are promoted and it isn’t the same people working each week.
There will be sessions held on Saturdays also, considering half of the targeted age group (20-30) are full-timers and may not have days off for the weekday sessions. However, there are companies that are open 7-days and the full-timers’ weekends aren’t Saturday and Sunday. For example, Amart Furniture’s full-time workers have a Friday and Saturday off, or a Sunday and Monday off. Hence, thinking from these workers’ perspectives, they could want and appreciate a relaxing, affordable activity to do on their days off, which may not otherwise be considered as they are a more niche group than the Monday-Friday workers (Dunn, McGuirk. Winchester, 1995).
The time of the Saturday sessions will vary depending on the time of year, due to the weather. There could be morning sessions in Autumn and Winter, then they can be in the afternoon in Summer and Spring. There will be no sessions on Sundays as the employees are working on casual rates, but this could be an option in the future to expand when it gains popularity.
To reign in the excitement for the 2032 Olympics, as we get closer to that there can be classes based on the Olympics. Such as painting athletes, equipment used in sports (e.g. pool, hurdles), and green and gold themed art.
I considered having sessions start at 6pm during the week. Looking from an insider’s perspective, making the sessions start at 6pm seems to be more accessible for full-timers and provides more opportunities to come to classes. However, thinking from an outsider’s perspective, it is not appealing to be driving out to North Shore - which would be a distance for some - straight after work, where they will be tired, to come to a park in the dark to paint (Dunn, McGuirk. Winchester, 1995). So, I decided against that.
There will be a wind screen attached to the hangar, so if there is a lot of wind or rain, these can be used and keep the guests comfortable and enjoy their dinner. This can also be used for the sessions if needed.
It will cost $50pp. Other Sip and Paint’s cost between $60-$70 (Fridas, 2023; Paint Juicy, 2023; Pinot & Picasso, 2023). Thus, by dropping the price attracts the audience as it is cheaper than all other classes, as well as free, easy-access parking, and it being outdoors. Even though it is cheaper, it is not too cheap that would make people question the value of the classes. Once it grows in popularity, then there can be consideration of raising the price to meet the market.
What makes North Shore’s Sip and Paint different is that it is outdoors, consequently, the business climate is what puts this concept at a competitive advantage to the pre-existing Sip and Paints (McGuirck, Winchester, Dunn, 1996). Additionally, the creative placemaking for this concept has built on the park area by adding these sessions outdoors, on the grass, in nature, and utilising the open space. Rather than, introducing infrastructure that damages the land, instead, showing respect to the land, whilst enhancing the area, increasing visitation, and accommodating to societal changes (McGuirck, Winchester, Dunn, 1996; Dunn, McGuirk. Winchester, 1995). Moreover, the majority of the locations are in West End, CBD, and Fortitude Valley. These locations have paid parking as well as difficult parking. However, Sip and Paint at North Shore has heaps of free parking, and right by where the classes are held, there will be no worry on missing out on a park also because Eat Street doesn’t start till later on those overlapping days. There is also multiple public transport options if needed. Additionally, I could not find any Sip and Paint’s that offered the purchasing of dinner. Some offered snacks - like cheese and crackers - while others are BYO. The only things staying the same are the painting sessions, and BYO alcohol and cooler.
By adding the wall for artists to rent and display their art, enriches the art-focused environment, and contributes to the creative placemaking. Galleries and museums are similar to this wall, however, I could not find anything where the artists are painting on the wall from scratch. Thus, increasing the competitive advantage over the other Sip and Paint classes - also provides inspiration and something vastly different for the class-takers to view - and galleries/museums as this amplifies the business climate (McGuirck, Winchester, Dunn, 1996). Moreover, this wall will always associate with the shifts in the local economy as it is very easily maintainable and adjustable to societal changes (Dunn, McGuirk. Winchester, 1995), similar to the Sip and Paint classes.
SWOT
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One of my students shared a moment of success that could have taken her sideways. In a number of sports a walkout song is attached and preselected ahead of time. You’re expecting one thing, and all of a sudden somebody else’s song comes out. Do you get rattled and thrown or do you regroup and refocus? For those of you that use music as a tool this oops moment can throw you but at the end of the day your job is to adjust & adapt then go back to the task at hand. Here’s what Erin Nichols said to me: With my musical freestyle today they played the wrong music and I was very unsure what to do in the situation. I stayed composed and rode a great ride and then learned how to handle it in the future. It was a good lesson not only learning what to do in the situation but also good to see how I can stay composed and focus on my ride even when I was thinking “what do I do“. Champions welcome the idea of being uncomfortable in order to learn how to become comfortable. She stayed composed and finished her job, this is how I measure success and ultimately what leads to greater consistency. Well done grasshopper!!! (at Desert International Horse Park) https://www.instagram.com/p/CmUohelPiY5/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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Get Well Soon || Erin & Skylar
Timing: February 9th, 2021
Location: Skylar & Rio’s Home
Tagging: @corpse--diem & @theskyeandsea
Description: Erin offers Skylar help one last time. This time, Skylar takes it.
TW: Addiction, Drug Use mentions
Shivering, Skylar pulled her jacket tighter around her as she padded around the house. Since she’d woken up in the Cave of Voices weeks ago, she hadn’t ventured out into the town. And now that she was learning what she’d done, the thought of stepping foot outside made her stomach churn. She didn’t want to see the expressions on the faces of the people she’d hurt, she didn’t want to have to pass by Fondante’s and see the storefront in ruins, knowing that she’d done that. She didn’t want to go to cemetary and see the fresh graves that had been added because of her. Skylar’s hands shook as she leaned against the marble countertops of the kitchen, the surface cold against her skin. Everything was cold now, as though to make up for the weeks she’d spent feeling nothing at all. She just needed to�� needed to put a stop to all of this. Which is why she’d asked Erin to come to her house.
Dundee poked his head around the corner, his beady eyes staring at her intently. Tapping the back of her hearing aid, Skylar winced as she felt the gap of flesh, the missing chunk of her earlobe. It, like her heavily bandaged hands, was just one of the many reminders of what she’d done. And she would carry it with her forever. As she clicked on the hearing aids, she realized that there was a knocking at the door. With a steadying breath, Skylar made her way to the front door. She paused for a moment. If she opened this door, there was no turning back. But, she had to. She had to be better, she had to get this out of her house. “Hi Erin.” Skylar said quietly as she opened the door.
Some soft classic rock song played quietly in the background, mingling with the hum of the engine as Erin sat outside of Skylar’s home. There had been no hesitation getting here--Skylar needed her and she’d dropped everything. With the reality of what she was about to do staring down at her in the form of a quaint, dark townhouse, she gave pause. There wasn’t going to be anything pleasant about this visit, much like each recent one before this. Just heavy and heartbreaking. There was a glimmer of hope with this one, buried beneath that dirt, but she wasn’t naive enough to think it wouldn’t be work to get there. It was the kind of digging she didn’t mind, and it was much preferable to the kind she thought she’d have to do for her over at Candleton. Like ripping off a bandaid, she finally pulled herself from the car, bag of supplies in tow. She had no clue what the girl would need so she brought a little bit of everything. Couldn’t hurt.
If she thought Skylar had looked rough before, this version of her--bandaged, exhausted, scarred and scabbed and sunken in--left her momentarily speechless. Any anger that had been stored in her gut dispelled immediately and she reached softly for her shoulder, concern filling her features. “Skylar,” she started, shaking her head. “What happened?”
The way that Erin stared at her, the way she seemed to almost take a step back, Skylar couldn’t help but wonder just… how bad she looked to the people around her. She knew that she didn’t look great-- her clothes didn’t fit her anymore, too loose and baggy around her frame, and the perpetual weariness she felt had left heavy bags under her eyes. “A lot.” She said, moving out of the way to let Erin inside. “I don’t know, I don’t remember exactly what happened. But,” She grimaced as she made her way through the house, the motion tugging at the still healing cut across her ribs. “It wasn’t good. I hurt a lot of people. I did some… terrible things.” Skylar mumbled. It would have been so easy to try and run away from it. To just lose herself, mind and body, to the drugs that had landed her in this situation to begin with. She could just… go on forgetting, go on drowning the painful memories away in a see of Bliss. She could easily go to her dealer, give him vial after vial of her tears in exchange for whatever he had tucked in his pockets.
But, as… easy it would be to do that-- because it would be easy, it would be so, so easy-- Skylar couldn’t. She’d hurt people, scared people, destroyed people’s businesses, killed… killed people. Curling in slightling on herself, Skylar folded her arms across her chest, as though holding herself together would keep her from falling apart. “I need to fix things. But I can’t while I still-- have things here.” She said, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I didn’t listen to you.” Skylar paused and swallowed past the lump that had formed in the back of her throat. “I’m sorry that I… did all of this.”
Erin followed Skylar into the home, sticking close but not trying to smother her despite the overwhelming desire to pull her in and squeeze her tight. God, she looked awful, though, and from whatever was going on behind those tired eyes that held more than what she could or would say. Skylar was being vague for a reason. She’d done something she couldn’t even put to words and a part of her could understand that. Her circumstances were completely different but she got that part. Nodding slowly, she set the bag on a table and took a long breath, watching Skylar closely. “Then you’ll fix it. The best that you can, anyway. That’s all you can do now,” she said with a firmness that buffered the soft concern in her voice. “You can tell me what happened now or you can tell me after we’ve gotten rid of everything. But I’m here. So we’re going to sit down and we’re going to talk, and I’m not going anywhere.” She bit the inside of her cheek, trying not to let her emotions get the best of her just yet. “There’s nothing you can say that’ll scare me away or make me look at you any different. I’m doing my best here too but I can promise you that.”
Fix it. If only it was that easy. Skylar didn’t even know how to begin with trying to fix things, only that she had to. She needed to make things up to Nate, to tell Shiloh that she’d help pay for repairs with what money she had left, had to tell Rio she was so so sorry for what she’d said and done to him, talk to the man at the convenience store who’d found her. And the students, that been… that had died. She didn’t even know what she could do for them. “I don’t know how to fix some of the things I’ve done.” She said, the words coming out like a whispered confession. Glancing up at Erin, Skylar let out a shaky breath before glancing towards the door of her bedroom. She hadn’t been in there since she’d managed to stumble home, clothed only in the fur she’d draped over her shoulders. She’d been lucky it had been early, that she’d been able to stay out of sight long enough to get here. But, she’d stayed away from her room, grabbing old clothes from the laundry room instead. Because she knew what was inside. And she didn’t… she couldn’t let herself go in there alone. “I need… to get rid of everything first. I need to get rid of it before I can talk about it.” Because if I talk about it, I don’t know if I could stop myself from going back. “I can’t go in there by myself. I don’t-- please. Can you help me?”
I don’t know how to fix some of the things I’ve done. Those words struck a sharper chord in Erin than she was anticipating. Some things couldn’t be fixed or made right, she knew that all too well. “It’d be worse if you didn’t try,” she assured her. She knew that feeling intimately too. Hated that this regret and self-loathing was something Skylar had to live and deal with now--probably for the rest of her life, depending on just how terrible this terrible thing truly was. “One step at a time. I know that’s super cheesy and probably sounds overwhelming but--it helps. Tackling one thing at a time helps,” Erin assured her the best that she could. Briefly, she touched Skylar’s back, encouraging her to follow her towards her room, but she pushed on ahead of her. What she saw when she opened that door was so much worse than she expected--she didn’t know why she was surprised, given the way Skylar looked right now, she could only imagine this was the result of what had to be weeks or months of binging on whatever the fuck it was she was taking now. She brought a hand to her mouth, wiping her fingers across it, trying to hide the shock on her face. “Jesus, Skylar,” she mumbled under her breath. Pills were scattered across all surfaces, the gleam of needles poked out from various spots, blood marking the sheets in various spots. The room was just as disheveled as the rest of Skylar. She leaned down, grabbing a small trashcan beside her desk and let out a long breath. “Let’s get going,” she nodded at her, starting to swipe the obvious trash and pills into the can. “You’ll let me know where it all is, right?” She glanced sideways at her. “Everything?”
“One thing at a time.” Skylar repeated, taking a deep breath in to steady herself as Erin moved past her. She hesitated outside of her door, letting Erin take the lead. She didn’t want to go in there, didn’t want to see it. She knew what would be behind it, knew how it would look. And she didn’t want to go back to that place again. As the hallway light shone on her room, Skylar grimaced, averting her eyes. But, looking away couldn’t hide the truth. It was still there. And she had to deal with it, had to get rid of it. Glancing at Erin, she could see the horror on her face and a rush of shame washed over Skylar as she tentatively followed the older woman into the room. “Okay.” She said as she pressed herself into a corner, as if that would keep the yearning at bay. There were glittering, half full vials of Bliss strewn around the room and it took everything in her not to pick them up, not to tuck them away. The promise of painless, hazy unreality seemed far better than the harsh light of day and dealing with the consequences of her actions. But she had to. “My desk. There’s… a box, taped under the drawer. It’s got, um. Needles. And other things, they’re in there.” She said before directing Erin to other spots around her room. The baggie of pills taped to the back of her bed frame. The rolled cigarettes tucked away against her bookshelf. She told Erin everything, while a troubling thought grew in her mind. How could she remember all this and not what she’d done?
Erin hadn’t meant to look so appalled by the scene around her and she busied herself with the task ahead of them to distract from the awful things welling in her chest. And once she started, it was already going quickly. She was glad Skylar kept herself at a distance. It was easier to keep an eye on her from there. Following Skylar’s instructions, she yanked the box, the contents rattling from the force. Her jaw tensed. Didn’t even bother to open it, just tossed it right into the bin and moved onto the next. “Anything else?” She asked, chancing another glance back up at her. In the mess, it was hard to find everything but as long as the worst of it was accounted for, that’s all that mattered. She paused momentarily, hovering above the stained sheets. Wasn’t that she was squeamish by any means but knowing they were from wounds on someone she cared about stung a little different. She worked her jaw and started to pull the sheets off. “How are you feeling right now?” She asked softly, genuinely curious.
Hugging herself, Skylar tried not to focus on everything as it was being thrown into the garbage bin. The mushrooms, the pills, they were what had gotten into all of this. They were what had made her act like that. And if she wanted to get better, she needed to get rid of them. She needed to change. She had to be better than the monster she saw in the mirror. As Erin stripped the sheets from the bed, a few loose pills scattered across the floor. Several skittered to a stop before her and Skylar flinched before moving to gather them up. “Here.” She said and dumped the pills into the bin, holding her hands up to show she’d thrown them all away. But, out of the corner of her eye, she could still see a pill lying under her bookshelf, tucked away behind one of the legs. She should tell Erin. She should tell her. She should just go and get it and throw it away-- “Hm?” Skylar blinked, looking at the woman with a slightly confused expression before realizing what she’d asked. Guilty. Worried. Regretful. So, so much regret. Angry, with herself. But even through it all, she couldn’t help but yearn for the nothingness that came with the drugs. “Not good. Not really. I just, I know that this needs to happen. And it’s, it’s for the best.” She said, the fingers of her good hand clenching the hem of her shirt as she spoke. “I didn’t intend for this, for any of this to happen.” She said, thinking back to the Hall of Mirrors and the broken, dying version of herself she’d seen that day. She’d been that girl in the mirror for too long. And she needed to change.
God, it was everywhere. In the sheets, under the bed, on all of the flat surfaces. Erin’s throat tightened, the severity of Skylar’s problem seeping in slowly but steadily, like a building dread. She knew she wasn’t doing well, that was all too obvious, but this? She could only pray to every and any entity that this was finally her rock bottom. “You’re doing good,” Erin insisted, glancing up from Skylar’s empty palms with relief. “It is for the best,” she agreed. “And It’s good that you’re helping, even just a little. I know this has got to be really hard for you but actually doing this yourself helps. It’s supposed to be like… a physical representation of you letting this all go, or something like that.” Her eyes narrowed as she tried to explain. She didn’t have in-depth, personal knowledge of how this all worked but she knew enough from her counseling classes in school and other media to help her for now. She’d need more qualified help after she walked out of this house again though. The sheets followed the pills into the trash. Skylar didn’t need to see those stains as a reminder, and even with enough bleach, they’d be hard pressed to get them out entirely. After a moment, she sat on the empty bed, listening to Skylar’s stilted, emotional words. “I know you didn’t,” she said simply but earnestly. She knew Skylar well enough by now to believe that. “Do you want to tell me what happened now?
It didn’t feel good. None of it did. But, Morgan had said as much when Skylar had talked to her. The fact that it was hard and that it hurt, it was part of what made it so important to do this. And maybe, maybe she could get better. One step at a time. “I hope so.” She said, her face weary as she tried not to look at the bin. When Erin tossed the sheet on top, some of the tension eased from Skylar’s shoulders. It wasn’t much, but the barrier helped distance her from the drugs that had consumed her life for the past few months. She could pretend they didn’t exist, that they weren’t there. And she could pretend that she was getting well, even if it didn’t feel like she was. As Erin asked her if she wanted to talk, Skylar knew what she wanted to say. She wanted to say no. She wanted to lie to herself, to lie to Erin. To tell her that it was okay, that she would be okay. But, Skylar had spent so long lying to everyone. And the truth was out there, for so many to see. She had to be honest, and she had to come clean. “The last thing I really remember was being so… angry after the-- the intervention. I was just so angry and I didn’t want to think about anything you’d said. And I went and I bought… a lot of things. And I took a lot of things. After that, I only remember bits and pieces.” She paused, taking a steadying breath as she leaned against the wall of her room.
“People screaming in the woods. Blood. A knife. More blood, more yelling. Bright lights, people talking. And then feeling cold, feeling so… so cold on the beach.” Skylar shivered, arms wrapping tighter around herself. “I found out after that I made… a lot of mistakes. I hurt a lot of people. Some of them,” Her voice broke as her shoulders shook with grief, tears spilling down her face. “Some people died because of me. And I hurt Rio. I stabbed him. I destroyed Fondante’s. I almost hurt Leah. I did so many awful things, Erin. And I can’t even remember it.” She sniffed, wiping her face with the heel of her palm. “But, but I can remember where the mushrooms I hid in my room are? I can, I can remember exactly how much Bliss we’ve thrown out?” What was wrong with her? What was wrong with her?
Instinctually, Erin was expecting to get shut down again. Months and months, maybe as long as she’d even known Skylar, everytime that question was asked she’d been humored with a simple and stubborn I’m fine. When the confession and tears started spilling from the young girl, Erin was unprepared. “You stabbed Rio? Is he okay?” she blurted in her uncertainty, despite the wave of grievances that Skylar continued to unload. She blinked, shaking her head unbelievably. Shit. This was way, way worse than she thought. But the regret and pain on Skylar’s face was so palpable it made her own heart ache again. God, Skylar. She shook her head slowly, trying to wrap her mind around the drug-fueled frenzy--tried to picture Skylar doing these things and failing each time. Didn’t make it any less true, of course. What if they had just pushed a little harder to help? What if they’d done something else after the intervention? What if she hadn’t just walked out when Skylar needed them more than ever? Maybe she could have helped prevent this. Maybe she could’ve done--something. Something could have been done, right? Skylar had needed to come to grips, hit that rock bottom you hear so much about, but this? People were dead, her friends were hurt. There was rock bottom and then there was whatever this was.
Moving over on the bed, she made room for her to sit and moved the trash bin of discarded drugs further away from her. “Hey, come here,” she gently urged her. Comforting words and practical solutions weren’t coming to her easily right now. There wasn’t much she could do here really though, except to be here and to listen, and to do the thing she’d come here to do. Right now the listening part was the most important. “This stuff screws with your head and you’re never going to understand the why’s of it. Don’t bother trying, okay? Right now you can just--you can let yourself fall apart for a little bit. And then you pick up the pieces and then you do everything you can to make it right. It won’t ever feel totally okay and it might not be but you have to try, right?” She looked at Skylar pleadingly, chewing her lip for a moment and gestured towards the trashcan. “Because not trying is what’s going to bring you back right to that. To this.”
Skylar wiped the tears away with the heel of her bandaged hand, trying to contain the grief that was overwhelming her. How had she let this happen? How had she been so stupid, so selfish, so unable to see how bad things were before it was too late? She had no one to blame but herself for this, for everything. She had done this. And she had to live with that fact. “He told me he’s okay and he hasn’t, hasn’t said otherwise.” She knew he was a Hunter, that his body healed quicker than any normal human should. But, Skylar had no idea if Erin knew and it wasn’t her secret to tell. She’d already done so much harm to Rio, she didn’t want to hurt him any further. “I threw a knife at him. I can’t even remember doing it, but I did and Shiloh was there too-- she saw… she saw everything that I did. And even after it all, they both still wanted to help me.” She said, her good hand clenching around the hem of her shirt, balling it up in her palm.
At Erin’s encouragement, Skylar sat on the bed, crumpling in on herself as she did so. She buried her head into her hands, elbows resting on her legs as the tears continued to roll down her face. “People died because of me. I didn’t, I didn’t kill them myself, but I might as well have. A, a werewolf. I did something in the woods and those college students, they, they died because of me. How can I make that better?” She asked, the words muffled as she spoke through her hands. “I don’t know what to do, Erin. I don’t know what to do.” She knew Erin was right. That not trying would only be worse. But how could she even know where to start?
Rio was okay. He was a hunter and if he said he was okay, physically anyway, he’d meant it. Erin made a mental note to check in on him later anyway. Right now her focus was on Skylar, and the questions she’d posed to her. Questions she was still figuring out the answers to in her own life, that’d brought her to her own knees more than a few times in the past few months. “I don’t know,” Erin answered softly, honestly. She shifted stiffly on the bed, hands wringing themselves uncomfortably in her lap. Skylar was being honest with her though--didn’t she deserve the same treatment in return? “I don’t know exactly what you’re going through right now, Skye, but I get--I get that part of it. I had to do some things I didn’t necessarily want to, and a lot of people were hurt. Some of them died. And I’m still working through that.” She paused, glancing over nervously, trying to summon everything in her to keep going. “And it sucks, and it hurts, most of the time I can feel it--but every time I want to give up or think it’s too much, I try to remember that if I did, it just makes their deaths and all of that pain even more unnecessary. You have to keep going because they can’t.”
Looking up from her hands, Skylar focused on Erin, hanging onto her words. People had died because of something she’d done too? More death. It seemed to cling to this town like a disease-- she’d had her own brushes with death, more than she’d cared to think about. The hunter. The bonedoggles. And now this most recent time, in a situation of her own making. This town, this town. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.” She murmured. She wasn’t sure who she was apologizing to-- Erin, or the people who’d died, the people who’d been killed, never knowing the reality of this place. As the other woman continued speaking, Skylar swallowed past the lump that had formed in the back of her throat. “I know that I’m not-- I’m not… well.” The words came out haltingly, the first time she’d admitted outloud that she had a problem. Because she did. She did and she had to face it. So many people had been hurt because of her refusal to acknowledge that she was out of control. “I know that I need to get better. For them.” For everyone she’d hurt, she needed to fix things.
There was something close to relief in Skylar’s words. Not quite relief, that didn’t feel right, but something right about them. She had a problem. She’d said the words, she was admitting it to herself, which meant there would be forward momentum--in theory, anyway. But the pain in Skylar’s voice and the grief written all over her face felt sincere enough for Erin to believe that she would try. That’s all anyone could really ask of her here. “And for you,” she reminded her, cautiously reaching for Skylar’s hand, placing it gently on top of her’s. “You need to get better for them and you need to get better for you.” She glanced over, trying to find her eyes. “Might not feel like it right now but there’s still a lot of people here who care about you, Skylar, no matter what you did. Myself included.” She gave her hand a gentle squeeze when she felt her heart pang again, the reality of how useless she felt in this sort of situation coming and going in waves. If she could just keep reminding her that she was here, that she had support, maybe that could be enough. “You have no idea how young you are and how much good you can still manage to put back into this world. If anyone can, it’s going to be you. Just--promise me you won’t stop trying, okay?”
And for you. The words echoed in Skylar’s mind as Erin gently held her hand, offering a comforting squeeze. That was part of all this mess, wasn’t it? She’d tried to… act as though she was okay with what she was for others, because everyone else said there was nothing wrong with being a selkie, that there was nothing wrong with not being human. She’d tried to drown her pain away with the drugs in an attempt to put on a smiling face for others. She’d done so much to herself, trying to be someone for everyone else. And now, she needed to do this for herself. She had to try. “I know.” She said, hoping that putting the words out into the air would make them more real. “I know I need to do this for myself too.” But trying for herself, it felt so much harder. Even now, she was acutely aware of the garbage bin in the room, full of pills and bliss and mushrooms and needles. She hated how much she wanted them, how much her body yearned for the nothingness that came with them. “I… I promise. I promise I’ll try.”
More than anything, Erin wanted to believe that. That’d she’d try, and that’d she’d get better and do better for herself. That one day this would all just be a horrible nightmare of the past. But it was never that easy and this would likely be something Skylar would struggle with for the rest of her life. She hated that for her but that was just the reality for someone with addiction. “Good,” Erin nodded after a moment. “That’s a start,” she added. Just like this was--the pills in the trash can. She pulled her hand back and grabbed the can again, a half-hearted smile on her face. “What do you say we finish cleaning up here and I’ll make you some dinner? We can watch some movies and curl up on the couch with Dundee? Or--whatever you want to do. But I’m not leaving here until you eat,” she insisted, standing with a slight groan and gave Skylar’s shoulder a good squeeze. She’d be fine. She’d be fine, she told the nagging at her stomach. This was all on Skylar now and she had to hope that she was strong enough to do the work necessary ahead of her. “I brought burgers. You like burgers, right?” She asked, calling out as she slipped out of the room for a moment to empty the extra full can.
This was a start. A start in what seemed like an impossible journey. But, Skylar knew that it was a path that she needed to take. She couldn’t continue like how she had before, she couldn’t live her life the same way. She had to change. As Erin stood up, Skylar offered a wan smile. “Mm. That sounds good. Thanks, Erin.” She said and stared down at her hands, avoiding looking at the bin as the other woman took it away from her room. She could do this. She could do this. She could change, she knew that she had to. She listened as Erin’s footsteps echoed down the hallway before creeping towards the bookshelf, her fingers searching for the final, fallen pill. Staring at the flat white pill on the palm of her hand, Skylar’s lips pressed together in a thin line. She should throw it away. She should have told Erin that she’d seen it fall. She should flush it down drain.
But she didn’t do any of those things. Skylar tucked the pill carefully into her pocket before letting out a shaky sigh. She’d get well soon. She’d take the first steps. Just… not yet.
#p: gws#p: erin nichols#addiction tw#drug use tw#//as always if youd like a tw free recap just let me know!#wickedswriting#chatzy
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Happy Birthday Sophia Bush 🧁🎂
Thanks for giving us Brooke Davis on One Tree Hill & Erin Lindsay on Chicago PD. Your power transcends offscreen too, so keep being the advocate you are.
#sophia bush#chicago pd#erin lindsay#one tree hill#brooke davis#relationships#chad michael murray#jesse lee soffer#austin nichols#happy birthday#hbd#irl princess#happy birthday sophia#celebrity birthdays#july 8#hilarie burton#peyton sawyer#b davis#p sawyer#friendship goals
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Requests (5/8/2021)
Hi lovelies! I just filled up the queue through May but I have a LOT of requests left. So I’m posting the remaining requests below! If you see your request here that means it’ll be posted in June at the earliest. If you don’t see your request it means it’s probably going to be posted in May (although I did delete two messages that weren’t “requests” as much as “demands”, messages that said, “Do this,” or, “Make that,” which I don’t respond to). There are some requests I addressed in a post on April 27th though that won’t be posted until June also so be sure to check that out. Thanks for the support lovelies! Hope you like what’s to cum. ;)
Anonymous said:
Could u do emma stone from amazing spider man i like her look from the 2nd one but its fine whichever u use
Yep! Second one it is. :)
Anonymous said:
Hi was wondering if you could do a caption of a superhero that is captured by their villain and turned into an evil hench woman thought about anne hathaway as cat woman if you could thanks love your captions btw
Sure thing!
Anonymous said:
Could you do a caption where a white guy gets turned into Kerry Washington. And becomes addicted to sleeping with black men? I was thinking of using the scene from little man where shes in bed after a night of "doing it". Can that be done or is that too graphic of a description?
I don’t think it’s too graphic? I’ve never seen Little Man (idk what it is tbh) but I googled “Kerry Washington Little Man” & found a pic I think works so I can do this.
Anonymous said:
I don't remember if I requested this already or not but could you do one of Haley atwell from captain america I was thinking like a super soldier test turns a guy into her but he then finds out that was the plan that the government wanted to make super sissies instead
You did not request it and I can do it!
Anonymous said:
Hi could you do a caption using Betsy brandt? Shes the aunt from breaking bad incase you didnt know I just think shes beautiful and hope you could do a caption for her idk what about maybe something about milfs thatd be good ig whatever you decide anyways thanks
I DO know who that is! And there have been quite a few MILF requests (as you’ll see) so all you MILF lovers will be happy going forward. :)
Anonymous said:
Hello first off big fan 2nd off im sorry if this is too much but I have abit of a list for ya if u can do these thats great if not its ok just sorry i know its alot. Emma thompson(saving mr banks) Sean young, (ace venture) Rhea Pearlman, ( matilda) Christina agulara( burlesque) sigourney weaver, (alien or ghostbusters) emma stone (cruela) thank u there will be a part 2
Heres part 2 its just ones I dont really have any specific thing in mind. Tia and Tamara. Idna menzel. Adele. Bonnie Tyler. Ruby rose. Sarah chalke. Kristen schaal. Melissa McCarthy. Megan trainer. Elizabeth gillies. Like i said if u can great if not thats alright atleast u'll have some stocked up for a rainy day thanks again and sorry again
Hello im the one who gave the list of requests sorry once again I just wanted to further explain one of them the christina Aguilera from burlesque one to be specific I would like the one where she is wearing the bowler hat with the loose frizz curls thats the only one I can think of to elaborate on the rest are up to u thanks again sorry again
Ok so this is A LOT of requests and in the future I would like to ask people to limit their requests to three celebs at a time, but I’ve never said that before so it wouldn’t be fair to the person who requested all these. So yes I can do these requests. The only one I won’t do is Sean Young from Ace Ventura because her character in Ace Ventura is really really transphobic (or, more specifically, how that character is written). And I can do that specific Christina Aguilera one. Also since this IS so many requests I’ll probably be sprinkling them in through instead of doing them all at once, & I already wrote an Elizabeth Gillies one coming out towards the end of May.
Anonymous said:
If possible could you do Elizabeth perkins as Wilma Flintstone I had the idea of it litterally being set in cave man times and depicting the forat instance of feminization, the first sissy, being of a weaker evolution and stuff causing the tribe to pick him as the tribes cave sissy
Oooo, sounds fun. Totally!
Anonymous said:
Could you do Marissa tomei? Was thinking hero type story by night hes a crime fighing vigilante by day She is a stay at home sissy wife waiting for hubby to get home to pleasure him
I can do this!
Anonymous said:
Could you try making one where a boy who’s always been short his entire life gets feminized by his friend? I was thinking someone like Skai Jackson would be great for this
Sure thing! I found one of Skai where she’s of age so I’ll use that. :) (I won’t use a GIF of here her though since most of them are from Jessie when she’s under 18)
Anonymous said:
I was wondering if you could do one about a college professor named Peter whose autocloset gets hacked by his students. They transform and feminize him into a sexy latina milf so they have someone sexy to look at during class. Actress of your choice, someone over 30 please.
Oooo, I’ve got the perfect celeb for this. ;)
Anonymous said:
Hi I actually have 3 u may have done them before but if u can thatd be great. 1 Natalie Portman (V for vendetta ) the little girl outfit with the pigtails I was thinking like a lost bet. 2 P!nk (beautiful trauma) the house wife look is so good. 3 Elizabeth olsen (wandavision) when shes in the bed wearing her costume like a morning after thing. Thats all like I said if u can thank u love ur captions
Ah gotcha. I can do these!
Anonymous said:
Hi id like to start off by saying i love your captions. Was wondering if you could do one of Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Ramona flowers when she had Green hair as far as the story I dont really have anything other than green being the guys fav color idk hopefully you can do something with that anyways thank you for your time have a good one
I can work with this. :)
Anonymous said:
Hey I have a specific scene in mind its of kaley cuoco when she was on the big bang theory I dont remember the episode but its where shes sitting on the couch when her BF walks in and shes dressed in this purple lingerie and shes got her hair up its beautiful I was thinking if u could do a caption on that? Maybe like a roommates thing sorry I dont have enough info on the scene
I’VE HAD THIS IMAGE FOR SO LONG BUT COULDN’T THINK OF A STORY SO YES I CAN DO THIS! :D
Anonymous said:
Could u ro Lindsay sloane from bring it on I had to look up the name I just remember her as "Big red" what they called her in the movie
Yep! I love Bring it On. :)
Anonymous said:
Omg i love the Alex kingston caption u did recently whenever u get a chance could u do more River song captions also the billie piper one again whenever u get the chance
You got it. :)
Anonymous said:
Ok if you could i have an idea for a caption of a guy who wants to be internet famous but cant cut it as a guy so he pretends to be a lady on an onlyfans but doesnt show off anything too much then he gets surprised by his Male roommate who found out and his roommate blackmails him into making more "Private" videos to get cash I was thinking using meg turney if u could thanks
Sounds fun. Sure thing! :)
Anonymous said:
Hello I know you mightve done this one already but the one of Katy Perry from "Hey hey hey" music vid could u do another one from that still her with the blonde hair but when shes just waking up instead thank you
You bet!
Anonymous said:
I know you got alot of requests lately but if you dont mind one more could you do Drew Barrymore from Batman forever?
I had to double check how old she was in that but yes! I can do this. :)
Anonymous said:
I know I probably wont see this for awhile but if u could can u do a caption of debby ryan from jessie where she is dressed like a little kid and has her hair in pigtails? I was thinking like a babysitting gig gone wrong for the story like dress up goes too far or something anyawys thank u
Do you know what episode that’s from? I found the image and I think it looks great but I just want to make 100% sure that Jessie was an adult when she made it. If you know the episode feel free to message me & I can go ahead with it. :)
Anonymous said:
I have 3 if u could do them 1. Zazie beets 2. Zendaya 3. Tessa Thompson. Thats all thanks
I actually have Zazie Beets and Zendaya caps coming up before May ends, but you’ll get the Tessa Thompson one in June. :)
Anonymous said:
Hi could you do another caption tor jenna fischer from the office please?
Yep!
Anonymous said:
Could you do a cap where a teacher named Peter gets feminized into a latina housewife and use Marisol Nichols from Riverdale? Can't ignore the MILFs.
Damn right you can’t! I’ll be sure to do this. :)
Anonymous said:
Addison Rae or Ariana Grande please
I’ll do both! :)
@tammyboy25 said:
Hi there! I was wondering if you could please do one where a sister or best girlfriend guilt trips a boy into being their maid of honor for her wedding? Bachelorette party, Dress shopping, getting their hair done, dancing with other boys at the reception are some ideas I had. Thank you so much either way!!!
Ooooo I love this! You got it sweetie. :)
Anonymous said:
Wow, I really loved the "From the Amazons" caption you did with Wonder Woman! Could you do something similar with a guy named Rene put into the body of a sluttfied superheroine? Maybe Scarlet Witch/Wanda? Thanks!
“From the Amazons” has been getting a lot of love so thanks everyone! I can totally do this with an Elizabeth Olsen pic. :)
Anonymous said:
I'm not sure if youve seen falcon and the winter soldier yet but Erin kellyman who plays kharli in that is a relatively new actress so I could understand if you dont know her but if you do could you make a caption for her? Thank you
I actually do know who she is! I saw her in “Falcon & Winter Soldier” and Solo so I can totally do a cap with her. :)
Anonymous said:
Hi, yesterday I said how much I loved that Wonder Woman caption you did with Gakl Gadot. And I've since discovered the manips made by Saturdays24. My name is Rene, and I'd loved to be turned into a girl in one of his pics, particularly Taylor Swift! Thanks!
Sure thing! @saturdays24 gave me permission to use their stuff a few years ago so I can do any caps with their manips. :)
Anonymous said:
Can you please do Priyanka Chopra captions
Sure!
Anonymous said:
Can you do Lala Anthony captions. I am a big fan of her
Totally! (For some reason I can’t find a good GIF of her though)
Anonymous said:
Can you do a cap with the new Billie Eilish Vogue Pics? That would be so so amazing.
Anonymous said:
billie eilish or addison rae?
Anonymous said:
Hi I remember someone else asking for a billie eilish caption since she was of age now but it was still too recent to have any pics of her at the right age well now shes 19 and I just saw she was on the cover of vogue afew days ago ....would that work?
Don’t worry, a Billie Eilish cap from British Vogue is on the way! She is an adult now & so I can make caps with her. :) (Also to the person who asked about Addison Rae, like I said earlier I’ll make one for her too. :D)
Anonymous said:
I really liked ur newest caption of Kelly lebrock as a boss being spotted enfemme I was wondering if u could do a follow up to that one? Maybe with her from woman in red. Id just like to see the coworker confront the boss
I like that idea! Totally. :)
Anonymous said:
Could you do a caption with Jhene Aiko or Jenna Ortega? They’re both similar to me in body build so it would be pretty amazing to see them in a caption.
Jhene Aiko yes. Jenna Ortega MAYBE. Jenna Ortega only JUST turned 18 and that was during the COVID-19 pandemic so there aren’t going to be a lot of projects where she’s an adult to pull from. So if I can find something maybe otherwise you might just have to wait a bit. Sorry if that’s a bummer. :/
Anonymous said:
Can you do Nikita Dragun captions please?
I’ve no idea who this is, sorry.
Anonymous said:
Idk if u know the band pentatonix or not but if u do could u do a caption for Kirstin Maldonado they just came out with a music video for 90s medley and she is gorgeous in it much appreciated :)
I’ve actually done some Kristin Maldonado caps already so I can totally do another. :)
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@boogaloomagoo replied to your post “<p>[pm] We're having my dad's memorial tomorrow, at the Nichols...”
[pm] I'm... really glad you'll be there. Are you /sure/, Deirdre? Aren't things like this kind of expensive?
[pm] I don’t offer things I’m not sure about. My family has been saving and investing for thousands of years, money is never an issue. I will pay for it. Have Erin send me the invoice. I will pay for anything else you need.
August was a good man, with a good ass. He deserves to be remembered properly.
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7th ANNUAL EAST BAY PRINT SALE!
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Drug Overdoses on the Rise as Top 10 Diagnoses Unveiled
New Post has been published on https://depression-md.com/drug-overdoses-on-the-rise-as-top-10-diagnoses-unveiled/
Drug Overdoses on the Rise as Top 10 Diagnoses Unveiled
Author – Search by Author –Adele L. Towers, MD, MPH, FACP Ahmed Abuabdou, M.D., MBAAlba Kuqi, MD, RHIA, CDIP, CCS, CSMC, CICA, CRCR, CCDS , CCMAlixis SmithAllen R. Frady, RN, BSN, CCS, CCDS and Rob Kopec, MDAllen R. Frady, RN, BSN, CCS, CCDS, AHIMA Approved ICD-10-CM/PCS TrainerAndrea Clark, RHIA, CCS, CPC-HAndres Jimenez, MDAndrew H. Dombro, MDAndrew N. Cohen, PhDAngela CarmichaelAngela Phillips, PTAnita Archer, CPCAnita Majerowicz, MS, RHIAAnny Pang Yuen, RHIA, CCS, CCDS, CDIPAutumn Reiter, BSN, RN, CCDS, CDIP, AHIMA-Certified ICD-10 TrainerBarbara Hinkle-Azzara, RHIABarry Libman, MS, RHIA, CDIP, CCS, CCS-P, CICBeth Friedman, RHIT, BSHABeth Wolf, MD, CPC, CCDSBetsy NicolettiBetty B. Bibbins, MD, BSN, CHC, C-CDI, CPEHR, CPHIT, CPHIMSBill Rifkin MD, FHM, FACPBilly Richburg, M.S., FHFMABonnie S. Cassidy, MPA, RHIA, FAHIMA, FHIMSSBrad JustusBrigid T. Caffrey, BA, BS, MS, CCSBrooke Palkie, MA, RHIACareer StepCari Greenwood, RHIA, CCS, CPC AHIMA approved ICD-10 TrainerCarol Lester, RN, BSNCarol Spencer, BA, RHIA, CCS, CHDACassi Birnbaum, MS, RHIA, CPHQCatherine Harrison-Restelli, MDCathie Wilde, RHIA, CCSCesar M Limjoco, MDCharles Winans, MDCheryl E. Servais, MPH, RHIACheryl Ericson, RN, MS, CCDS, CDIP Chris Liguori, MBAChris Powell, Chief Executive Officer, PrecyseChuck BuckCindy Doyon, RHIAColleen Deighan, RHIA, CCS, CCDS-O Cynthia D. Fry, PhDDavid Jury MD, MSDawn Valdez, RN, LNC, CDIP, CCDS; CCDIPDeborah Grider, CPC, CPC-H, CPC-I, CPC-P, CPMA, CEMC, CCS-P, CDIP, Certified Clinical Documentation Improvement PractitionerDebra Beisel Denton, RHIA, CCS, CCDS, CDIPDee LangDenise M. Nash, MD, CCS, CIMDenise Wilson MS, RN, RRT Dennis HarveyDennis JonesDennis WinklerDenny FlintDheeraj Mahajan, MD, FACPDiane Iverson, RN, BSN, BS, ACM, CCMDiann Smith, MS, RHIA, CHP, FAHIMA AHIMA Donna Richmond, BA, RCC, CPCDr. Stephen Spain, MD, CPCDuane C. Abbey, PhD, CFPEdward Hu, MD, CHCQM-PHYADVEdward M. Roche, PhD, JDEileen Dano TkacikElizabeth Stewart, RHIA, CCS, CRCAEllen Fink-Samnick, MSW, ACSW, LCSW, CCM, CRPEllen VanBuskirkEmily AndersonEmmel “Sonny” Golden, MD, FCCP, CCDSErica E. Remer, MD, CCDSErin Head, MBA, RHIA, CHDA, CCS, CHTS-TR Evan M. Gwilliam, DC, MBA, BS, CPC, CCPC, CCCPC, NCICS, CPC-I MCS-P, CPMAFrank CohenFred BazzoliGary BaldwinGeorge VancoreGlenn Krauss, RHIA, BBA, CCS, CCS-P, CPUR, CCDS, C-CDI, PCS, FCGloryanne Bryant, RHIA, CDIP, CCS, CCDS, AHIMA-Approved ICD-10-CM/PCS TrainerGracielinda PrescottGrant Huang, CPC, CPMAGregory M. Adams, FHFMAGretchen Dixon MBA, RN, CCS, CPCO, AHIMA-Approved ICD-10-CM/PCS Trainer and Ambassador,Gustavo P. Camarano, MD, PhD, CPC, CDIP, CHCQMH. Steven Moffic, MDHeidi Hillstrom, MS, MBA, RN, PHN, CCDS, CCSHolly Louie, RN, BSN, CHBMEHugh KellyJacqueline J Stack, BSHA, CPC, CPC-I, CPB, CEMC, CFPC, CIMC, CPEDCJames JonesJanelle Ali-Dinar, PhD Janis OppeltJeffrey D. Lehrman, DPM, FASPS, MAPWCA, CPCJeffrey Epstein, MDJessica KatzJessica MaierJill FinnJoel Moorhead, MD, PhD, CPCJohn A. Updike MD, MPH, FACP and Debra L. Anoff, MD, FHM, FACPJohn Evensen, MBAJohn Foggle, MD, MBAJohn Pitsikoulis, RHIAJohn R. Irwin, AB, JD, BS, MD John WollmanJohn Zelem, MDJonathan LaFleur, BSN, RN, CCSJoseph C. Nichols, MDJoseph J. Gurrieri, RHIA, CHPJoyce Johnson, RHIA, CCS, AHIMA-Approved ICD-10-CM/PCS TrainerJulia K. Brodt, PhDJulie A. Dooling, MSHI, RHIA, CHDA, FAHIMAJulie A. Dooling, MSHI, RHIA, CHDA, FAHIMA and Melanie Endicott, MBA/HCM, RHIA, CDIP, CHDA, CPHI, CCS, CCS-P, FAHIMAJulie Boomershine, RHIA, CCS, CTR, CHDA, AHIMA-Approved ICD-10 Trainer; and Jessica Coleman, CCSJuliet A. Santos, MSN, CCRN, FNP-BCJuliet B. Ugarte Hopkins, MD, CHCQMJustine KuritzKaren Kinzle ZegelKaren Kinzle ZegelKathy Murchland, RHIA, CDIPKathy Pride, RHIT, CPC, CCS-P, CPMAKim Carr, RHIT, CCS, CDIP, CCDS, AHIMA-Approved ICD-10-CM/PCS TrainerKim Charland, BA, RHIT, CCSKim Reid, CPC, CPMA, CEMC, CPC-IKimberley Templeton, MDKnicole Emanuel Esq.Kris Knight, MBA, RHIAKrista JaroszewskiKristi Pollard, RHIT, CCS, CPC, CIRCC, AHIMA-Approved ICD-10-CM/PCS TrainerLamon Willis, CPCO, CPC-1, COC, CPC, AHIMA-Approved ICD-10-CM/PCS TrainerLaudine A. Markovchick, RHIT, CCSLaura Hayman RN, CDISLaura Legg, RHIT, CCS, CDIPLauri Gray, RHIT, CPCLaurie A. McBrierty, MLT ASCP, CICA Laurie M. Johnson, MS, RHIA, FAHIMA AHIMA Approved ICD-10-CM/PCS TrainerLeanne R. CardwellLeslie KrigsteinLinda Pottinger, MBALinda Schwab-Messmer, RHIT, CCSLinda Schwab-Messmer, RHIT, CCS, AHIMA-Approved ICD-10-CM/PCS Trainer, and Dotsy Baxter, RHIA, CCS, AHIMA-Approved ICD-10-CM/PCS TrainerLisa Banker, MD, FACPLisa Baris, RHIT, CCS, CCDSLisa Roat, RHIT, CCS, CCDSLolita M. Jones, MSHS, RHIA, CCSLorraine Fernandes, RHIALorraine M. Martínez Lyman Sornberger, MBALynn Cleasby, RHIT, AHIMA-Approved ICD-10-CM/PCS TrainerMachaelle Diaz, CMA, CPC, CRC, CPMA, ICD-10CM, CGSC Mandy Willis, CCS, CPEHRMargaret A. Skurka, MS, RHIA, CCS, FAHIMAMaria Bounos, RN, MPH, CPC-HMarie Morin, RN, MSN, CCS,CRCMark E. Laudenberger, MS, RHIAMark LottMark Morsch, MSMark SpiveyMary Beth Haugen, MS, RHIAMatt Lambert, MD Megan Cortazzo, MDMel Tully MSN, CCDS, CDIP Melanie Endicott, MBA/HCM, RHIA, CDIP, CCS, CCS-P, FAHIMA, AHIMA-Approved ICD-10-CM/PCS TrainerMelinda Tully, MSN, CCDSMichael A. Salvatore, MD, FACPMichael Calahan, PA, MBAMichele HibbertMichelle M. Wieczorek RN RHIT CPHQ Mikel HodgsonMira GoldsteinNate DueaNena Scott, MSEd, RHIA, CCS, CCS-P, CCDSNick van Terheyden, MD Odin MaylandPamela Charney, PhD, RDPamela P. Bensen, MD, MS, FACEP, AHIMA approved ICD-10-CM/PCS TrainerParesh K. ShahPatricia Trela, RHIAPatty T. Sheridan, MBA, RHIA, FAHIMA, and Valerie Watzlaf, PhD, MPH, RHIA, FAHIMAPaul Weygandt, MD, JD, MPH, MBA, CPEPiyush Mathur, MD, FCCM; Ahmad Maher Adi, MD; Brett Elo, DO; David Jury MD; Erica E. Remer, MD, FACEP, CCDSRachel Mack, RN, MSN, CCDS, CDIP Ralph Wuebker, MD, MBARebecca DeGrosky, RHITRebecca Gruszkos, LCSW, ACHP-SWReed D. Gelzer, MD, MPHRenee Stamp, CPC, COC, CPC-I, CPMARhonda Buckholtz, CPC, CPMA, CPC-I, CRC, CDEO, CHPSE, COPC, CPEDC, CGSCRhonda Taller, MHARobert S. Gold, MDRonald Hirsch, MDRose T. Dunn, MBA, RHIA, CPA, FACHE, FHFMA, CHPS, AHIMA-approved ICD-10-CM/PCS TrainerRudy Braccili, Jr.Sabrina Yousfi, MBA, RHIA, CDIP, CCSSally Streiber, BS, MBA, CPC, CEMASandra Draper, RHIT, CCSSandra L. Brewton, RHIT, CCS, CHCA, CPC, AHIMA-Approved ICD-10-CM/PCS TrainerSandra Routhier, RHIA, CCS, AHIMA Approved ICD-10-CM/PCS TrainerSarah Laird, RHIA, CCSSarguni Singh, MD, Hemali Patel, MD, and Debra Anoff, MDScot Nemchik, CCS, AHIMA-Certified ICD-10 Trainer, and Patty T. Sheridan, MBA, RHIA, FAHIMAShannon DeConda CPC, CPC-I, CEMC, CMSCS, CPMA®Sharon Easterling, MHA, RHIA, CCS, CDIP, CRC, FAHIMASharon Lee Savinsky, MSN, RN CDISSheri Poe Bernard, CCS-P, CPC, CRC, CDEOSherry WilsonSheryl Markowitz, LCSW, LISWsStacey Elliott, CCS, CPCStanley Nachimson, MSStefani Daniels, RN, MSNA, ACM, CMACStephanie Thompson, ICD10monitor National CorrespondentStephen Sokolyk, MD, MHASusan Gatehouse, RHIT, CCS,CPC, AHIMA-Approved ICD-10-CM/PCS TrainerSusan M. Howe, RHIT, CCS, CASCC, and an AHIMA-Approved ICD-10-CM/PCS trainerTammy Combs, RN, MSN, CDIP, CCS, CCDSTerrance Govender, MD Terry Fletcher, BS, CPC, CCC, CEMC, CCS, CCS-P, CMC, CMSCS, CMCS, ACS-CA, SCP-CA, QMGC, QMCRCTerry MillerdThomas Ormondroyd, BS, MBATiffany Ferguson, LMSW, ACMTim BavosiTim McMullen, JD, CAETimothy Powell, CPATina Ferguson, RN, CCDSTorrey BarnhouseTracy Boldt, RN, BSN, CCDS, CDIPValerie Fernandez, MBA, CCS, CPC, CIC, CPMA, AHIMA-Approved ICD-10-CM/PCSValerie J. Watzlaf, PhD, MPH, RHIA, FAHIMAVictoria M. Hernandez, RHIA, CDIP, CCS, AHIMA-Approved ICD-10-CM/PCS TrainerVinita Manoraj, MD, CHCQMWilbur Lo, MD, CDIP, CCA, AHIMA-Approved ICD-10-CM/PCS TrainerWilliam L Jonakin, MD, CPC, CRC
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A to Z Book Rec Tag
Thank you to the lovely @that-quirky-girl for tagging me, she recognises the book weakness in me. These books are all linked on goodreads, where I have an account, linked HERE.
# - #Junkie and #Rev by Cambria Hebert
A - Adorkable by Sarra Manning
Adulthood is a Myth by Sarah Andersen
Adulting 101 by Lisa Henry
Alan Partridge: Nomad by Alan Partridge (Steve Coogan)
The Alex Crow by Andrew Smith
All the Single Ladies by Jane Costello
And Call me in the Morning by Willa Okati
Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins
Anna Dressed in Blood by Kendare Blake
Austenland by Shannon Hale
B - The Backup Boyfriend by River Jaymes
Beauty by Robin McKinley
The Best Corpse for the Job by Charlie Cochrane
Between Ghosts by Garrett Leigh
Big Mouth, Ugly Girl by Joyce Carol Oates
Blame it on the Mistletoe by Eli Easton
Blood Magic by Tessa Gratton
Bone Gap by Laura Ruby
The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas by John Boyne
Breakfast at Tiffanys by Truman Capote
Breathe by Sloane Parker
Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh
Bridesmaids by Jane Costello
Brighton Rock by Graham Green
C - Carry On by Rainbow Rowell
Carry the Ocean by Heidi Cullinan
The Catastrophic History of You and Me by Jessica Rothenburg
Caught! by JL Merrow
Chain Reaction by Simone Elkeles
Chance to be King by Sue Brown
A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
The Christmasaurus by Tom Fletcher
The Chronicles of Narnia by CS Lewis
Cinder by Marissa Meyer
Clear Water by Amy Lane
Code Name Verity by Elizabeth Wein
Cold War by Keira Andrews
The Coldest Girl in Coldtown by Holly Black
Collide by Riley Hart
The Color Purple by Alice Walker
Corkscrewed by MJ O’Shea
Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo
Crossroads by Riley Hart
The Crucible by Arthur Miller
Crush by Richard Siken
D - The Darkest Part of the Forest by Holly Black
Dash & Lily’s book of Dares by Rachel Cohn
Death of a Naturalist by Seamus Heaney
Devoted by Sierra Riley
A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness
Dumplin’ by Julie Murphy
E - Eclipsed by Dominic Holland
Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine
Emma - Jane Austen
Epic Fail - Claire LaZebnik
The Epic Love Story of Doug and Stephen by Valerie Z Lewis
Every Move he Makes by Barbara Elsborg
Evolution, Me & Other Freaks of Nature by Robin Brande
F - Fairest by Gail Carson Levine
Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by JK Rowling
Far from the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy
The Fellowship of the Ring by JRR Tolkien
Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk
Filthy Little Secret by Devon McCormack
Fish Out Of Water by Amy Lane
Fish Stick Fridays by Rhys Ford
Flash Burnout by LK Madigan
Flawless by Lara Chapman
Fragile Things by Neil Gaiman
From What I Remember by Stacy Kramer
The Future of Us by Jay Asher
G - Gangsta Rap by Benjamin Zephaniah :
Girl on the Run by Jane Costello
Glass Tidings by Amy Jo Cousins
Goodbye Days by Jeff Zentner
Goodnight Mister Tom by Michelle Magorian
Grasshopper Jungle by Andrew Smith
The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman
H - Harry Potter by JK Rowling
The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas
Haunting Violet by Alyxandra Harvey
The Heart of Texas by RJ Scott
Heidi by Johanna Spyri
The Help by Kathryn Stockett
Helping Hand by Jay Northcote
A Hero at the End of the World by Erin Claiborne
Him by Sarina Bowen
The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien
Holly Lane by Toni Blake
Hostile Ground by LA Witt
Hot Head by Damon Suede
Hottie Scotty and Mr Porter by R Cooper
How to Repair a Mechanical Heart by JC Lillis
Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones
A Hunted Man by Jaime Reese
Hunting Lila by Sarah Alderson
Hush Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick
I - I Love the 80s by Megan Crane
If Only in My Dreams by Keira Andrews
Illegal Contact by Santino Hassell
The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde
Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace
Inseparable by Chris Scully
An Inspector Calls by JB Priestley
J - Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
Jellicoe Road by Melina Marchetta
Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton
Just Listen by Sarah Dessen
K - A Kiss in Time by Alex Flinn
Know Not Why by Hannah Johnson
L - Law of Attraction by Jay Northcote
Leaving Paradise by Simone Elkeles
Liam Davis & The Raven by Anyta Sunday
Light from the Dark by Mercy Celeste
Lima Oscar Victor Echo and the Truth about Everything by Suki Fleet
The Little Book of Vegan Poems by Benjamin Zephaniah
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
M - Mark Cooper versus America by Lisa Henry
Mark of Cain by Kate Sherwood
Me and Mr Darcy by Alexandra Potter
Merry Christmas Mr Miggles by Eli Easton
Midwinter Night’s Dream by Eli Easton
More than This by Patrick Ness
Motel. Pool. by Kim Fielding
Mrs Warren’s Profession by Bernard George Shaw
My Love Lies Bleeding by Alyxandra Harvey
My Single Friend by Jane Costello
N - The Nearly-weds by Jane Costello
Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman
Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist by Rachel Cohn
North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell
North of Beautiful by Justina Chen
Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen
The Nothingness of Ben by Brad Boney
Noticed Me Yet? by Anyta Sunday
Noughts and Crosses by Malorie Blackman
Off Base by Annabeth Albert
Open Tackle by LC Chase
Out of the Blue by Sophie Cameron
P - Passing Through by Jay Northcote
Perfect Chemistry by Simone Elkeles
Persuasion by Jane Austen
Peter Pan by JM Barrie
The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce
Pressure Head by JL Merrow
Pride and Modern Prejudice by AJ Michaels
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
The Princess Bride by William Goldman
Private Eye by SE Culpepper
Promised Land by Adam Reynolds
Promises by Marie Sexton
Pushing the Limits by Katie McGarry
Q - The Queen of the Tearling by Erika Johansen
R - Rattlesnake by Kim Fielding
Remember Me? by Sophie Kinsella
The Rest of Us Just Live Here by Patrick Ness
Rock Solid by Riley Hart
Roughing the Passer by Alison Hendricks
S - The Secret History by Donna Tartt
Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen
Shiny by Amy Lane
Shrinking Violet by Danielle Joseph
Shut your Face, Anthony Pace by Claire Davis
Silent by Sara Alva
Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli
Skellig by David Almond
Skin Deep by Laura Jarratt
Slam! by JL Merrow
The Sleeper and the Spindle by Neil Gaiman
Sock it to me, Santa! by Madison Parker
Someday by Sierra Riley
Songs of Innocence and of Experience by William Blake
Spencer Cohen by NR Walker
Splintered by SJD Peterson
Stardust by Neil Gaiman
Starter for Ten by David Nicholls
Station Eleven by Emily St John Mandel
Stay With Me by SE Harmon
Strong Side by Alison Hendricks
Sugar Creek by Toni Blake
Superhero by Eli Easton
T - The Tales of Beedle the Bard by JK Rowling
The Tenant of Wildfell Hall by Anne Bronte
This Savage Song by Victoria Schwab
The Time of Our Lives by Jane Costello
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Tonight by Karen Stivali
Turkey in the Snow by Amy Lane
The Two Gentlemen of Altona by Lisa Henry
U - Unwrapping Hank by Eli Easton
Uprooted by Naomi Novik
V - The Vintners Luck by Elizabeth Knox
W - Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett
A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks
The Walls of Troy by LA Witt
The Waste Land and Other Poems by TS Eliot
Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen
We were Feminists Once by Andi Zeisler
A Weekend With Mr Darcy by Victoria Connelly
Where he ends and I Begin by C Cardeno
Where the Lovelight Gleams by Kiera Andrews
Whiskey Business by Avon Gale
The Wish List by Jane Costello
Wonder by RJ Palacio
X - X-It by Jane George
Y - Y: The Last Man by Brian K Vaughan
You Against Me by Jenny Downham
Z - Zero at the Bone by Jane Seville
#Its longgggggggggggggg dudes#Amber I am sorry it took so long I couldn't narrow down so#this is the thing I made
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It was so great to share a great class and get to know to of our newest members a little better! Let’s welcome Sameera @dr_sameera_ and Kyle @dr.davidmiller .... they both did a phenomenal job in class. Can’t wait to see them achieve their goals! Thanks so much to Erin @erin.scholze for introducing Sameera to our team here. Lastly wanted to send a shoutout to Akvile @akvilesin for bringing Troy @troysholar to our studio as he’s visiting us from Orangetheory Chicago-West Loop. It has been an awesome week thus far.... can’t wait to continue to make memories with all of you and finish this Transformation Challenge strong! #WeAreFamily #IamOTFstrong #WeEarnTheAfterburn #OneLove #fitfam @orangetheory @orangetheoryoklahoma @orangetheorynicholshills (at Orangetheory Fitness Nichols Hills) https://www.instagram.com/p/CNtotGPh60k/?igshid=e597s3uen0p4
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When you put in the work, believe in yourself and what’s possible, the universe rewards you with a confidence that helps to make special moments a reality. Erin Nichols exemplifies what it means to be an elite student athlete and I’ve been lucky enough to have had a front row seat to this awesome show. Be careful what you wish for ….. (Olympics) (at Traverse City Horse Shows) https://www.instagram.com/p/ChSRW0oLgvp/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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Just Medicine || Erin & Skylar
Location: Nic & Skylar’s Home
Timing: June 14th
Tagging: @corpse--diem & @theskyeandsea
Description: Concerned by their troubling conversation online, Erin comes to check in on Skylar and the answers she finds are only more alarming.
Warnings: Addiction TW
If there was one person in town Erin never thought she had to worry about, it was the very one she found herself using the speed limit as a suggestion to get to right now. God damn it, Skylar. Sweet, innocent Skylar. The same young woman who taught ASL, who helped throw a gator-theme birthday bash. The woman was a seal, for Christ’s sake. It was an unfair pedestal to put her on, Erin knew that, and felt guilty when her frustrations drew those quick-fire judgments. People slipped up, lost their footing while trying to balance their worlds on their shoulders. Seal or not, Skylar was as susceptible as anyone. She didn’t know how to help, or if she could, but she’d be there even for a night to maybe help her keep her footing. Judging by the way she spoke earlier, that was very possibly a literal predicament. And with Nic fucking off into the woods, her own worry needed an outlet. And Skylar needed someone. “Skylar!” Erin hollered, nice and loud as she banged in the door. Jabbed the doorbell a few times for good measure. “Don’t even think about ignoring me, kid! I know where you hide your spare key!”
For the past twenty four hours, Skylar had felt as though she was on cloud nine. Untouchable, nothing could stop her, nothing could hold her down. There was no pain, there wasn’t anything other than the euphoria that came with feeling completely, entirely good. The world was wonderful and bright and the sun was shining, eyeball free. Between that and her random spurts of energy that had driven her to run around in the backyard until she was dizzy, Skylar was feeling great. She’d never felt this way before. Never, ever, ever. Right now, she was lying in the middle of the living room, watching the fan whirl overhead, her eyes tracking one of the blades. Around and around and around and around and-- Skylar sat upright when she heard a loud pounding at the door. Glancing at her phone, she tilted her head. Erin? Listening closer, she nodded. Erin. Walking to the door, Skylar opened it, a dazed grin still on her face. “Hey, Erin!”
The longer Erin stood there waiting, the higher her blood pressure climbed. Tried not to think hard about why it was taking her so long to get to the damn door but it was hard when those enthusiastic, muddled messages kept replaying in her head. Then finally, footsteps. Skylar greeted her with a smile that wasn’t quite right, dark circles underlining nearly nonexistent pupils. “Skylar—“ she started but that concern returned, sharper than before as it trickled down her throat like barbed wire. Did she even remember Erin was coming over? It seemed like Skylar’s initial resistance to her company had disappeared like the rest of her good sense. “Hi,” she finally breathed out. “Can I come in?” It was framed as a question but Erin was already crossing the threshold to let herself in. There was no way she was leaving now.
Erin was standing right in front of her and then she wasn’t, she was already inside. Skylar nodded all the same, happy to let the woman inside. “Nic’s not here right now, but,” She frowned, trying to piece together things. Time was strange. It felt both incredibly fast and slow at the same time-- like every moment went for infinity, but every hour felt like a second. Which didn’t make sense, even to her. “I think I already told you that.” Shutting the door behind her, Skylar wandered back over to the couch, where Dundee was still curled up. What she really wanted to do was lie on the floor like she had been doing before, the feeling of the wood cool compared to the rug. But, instead, she sat on the couch next to Dundee, staring at the dog as it wagged its tail once at her before going back to sleep. Running her hands against the material of the couch, Skylar tilted her head at Erin. “Why are you here again? Not that I’m not happy that you’re here, it’s always nice when you are! Nic smiles a lot when you say you’re coming by. But he’s not here right now.”
All Erin could do was follow silently, observing Skylar’s sporadic train of thought—when she wasn’t veering off course or colliding with other thoughts, anyway. It was all still jumbled and worrisome, even if she was being as sweet as she always was. “Yeah, I know he’s not,” she nodded. Her eyes flickered around the large room anyway, like he’d changed his mind and come home. Part of her was hoping that he had, that she’d answer the door and see him standing there. But the moment she saw Skylar’s state, it was likely for the best. One mess at a time. Couldn’t help smiling, even briefly, at her words, dropping her gaze to stare at the floor. “I didn’t come to see him,” Erin said, take great care to speak softly as she joined her on the couch. “I came to see you.” She bit her lip, Skylar’s bloodshot eyes more vibrant ever in the better lighting. “You said you were feeling better and I just—“ she paused, shrugging. “I was hoping you could help me with something?”
As Erin continued to speak, Skylar blinked-- it was harder for her to hear, harder for her to pick up the words that she was saying. And, as she tried to focus on the woman’s lips in an attempt to lip read, she was only able to pick up bits and pieces. Not much, just little hints here and there that managed to make it through the wonderfully light feeling that had encompassed her. It felt like there were bubbles in her, like she was floating up and up and up and there was nothing that could bring her down. “Mhm! I’m better!” She said with a vigorous nod as she pieced together the last of the woman’s words. “Help you? What do you need?” She asked, wanting to do whatever she could to help Erin. She liked Erin, even if she had initially been a little creeped out to find out that she worked with dead people all the time.
Erin wasn’t entirely convinced Skylar was following what she was saying, her eyes roaming like they were a little lost when she spoke. Right. Slow it down. Ugh, this was painful. “I’m really happy that you’re so happy. Honestly, I am,” she nodded, taking her time, giving her a warmer smile. “But I gotta say, I’m not having the greatest day myself, you know? Like it’s been a really, really rough one.” Her brows narrowed in her direction, hoping Skylar was still out of it enough to roll with her impromptu plan. That part at least wasn’t a blatant lie? “I was hoping you could... show me what you did. To make yourself feel better.” She shrugged nonchalantly. “We’re friends, right? You’d help me out with something like that? Oh—just between us, too, of course,” she added, running her fingers along her lips like a zipper.
The slower Erin spoke, the harder it was for Skylar to track what she was saying. The lip movements didn’t make as much sense, the pauses made it harder for her to latch onto what was being said. But, she did her best to parse through the words. Not… greatest… rough. “Oh, no! I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry, that’s awful.” She said, her head lolling back against the soft cushion of the couch as she stared up at Erin. She didn’t want Erin to have a bad day and she wanted to help! She really, really did. But, a look of confusion spread across her face at her words. “Are you hurt?” She asked, confused. Because the stuff making her feel better, it was only if she was hurting. Looking at Erin, she tilted her head. “Did someone hurt you?”
This was going to be difficult no matter which way she spliced it, huh? Erin willed her patience to persevere and worked her jaw, then nodded. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault,” she assured her, pausing briefly as she tried to navigate a believable lie. “Yep,” she answered when it felt like she was taking too long. “I, uh—got into an argument the other day with a real jerk. You don’t know him, and I took care of it so don’t worry about that either, but he gave me a heck of a shiner.” She pointed to the very faint purpled and yellowed bruise that still lingered near her eye and down her cheek. Cringed first show, then pointed to the back of her head. “Hit my head too, been killing me ever since. So if you’ve got anything to help—I’d really appreciate it.”
As Erin showed her the marks on the side of her head, Skylar’s eyes widened in shock. “And he hit you? Does Nic know?” She asked, a thin trickle of concern managing to seep through the buoyant lightness that kept her spirits aloft, that kept her from feeling the pain that she normally would. At the other woman’s words, Skylar bit the inside of her cheek, though the gesture lacked the normal dull pressure that it usually did. The stuff Felix gave to her, it was strong. Really, really strong. How else could it have worked on her? It would probably be super bad for Erin. So she wasn’t going to show her the bliss. Nope, that would probably knock her out really bad. But, she still had a pill or two left from when she’d gotten shot by the river. “I’ve got something that could help!” She said, standing up on slightly unsteady feet before walking to her room.
Erin shook her head softly, waving off Skylar’s concern. “Nic knows. It’s fine. I mean, it’s not fine, but—I hit him back,” she assured her, the sound of the metal baseball back smacking against skull thundering in her mind. “Got him sent to a place where he can’t hurt anyone again.” She shifted slightly. Was this actually working? Hopefully she wouldn’t remember why Erin needed whatever it was that had gotten Skylar so completely fucked up in the first place. Erin was on her feet, following behind her—partially to make sure she made it to her room in one piece. But she hung back by the doorway, crossing her arms as she watched her. As glad as she was that this was actually about to work, her insides twisted at the reality here. Skylar wasn’t fucking okay. “And this helped?” She asked, peering into her room
“Oh, okay.” Skylar nodded, her concerns disappearing with the wave of Erin’s hand. If she said it was fine, if she said that the guy who hurt her was gone, then there wasn’t anything for her to worry about. As she entered her room, she made her way to her desk, opening the drawer and rummaging around among the papers, pens, and the random odds and ends that rolled around inside. Her fingers brushed against the small box Felix had sent her, that she’d taped to the underside of the desk to hide it from anyone who might try and find it. Instead of taking the box, her fingers curled around the pill bottle he’d sent her over a month ago. A few loose pills rattled around and she showed it to Erin. “I don’t know if it would be safe for you, though. It’s very, very strong. Medicine doesn’t work on me very well, so I need a lot of it.” She said, holding out the bottle.
Erin bit the inside of her lip as she eyed the pill bottle, torn between being infuriated and heartbroken right now. “I’m not taking these,” she answered honestly, grabbing the bottle. So this was it, huh? There only a few left, which made sense considering Skylar’s current state. Erin held it up before giving it a little shake at her, then met her bloodshot eyes. “And neither are you,” she added, the softness in her tone slipping, giving way to a mix of concern and disappointment. “I don’t know what’s going on with you, but this shit isn’t the answer. I know you feel good now but it’s temporary.” Skylar was a grown ass woman and Erin knew she wasn’t saying anything every after school special had to offer, but she had to try right? She handed the bottle back to her “I want you to toss those. Right now.”
Blinking in confusion, Skylar was too out of it to react quickly enough to stop Erin from pulling the pill bottle from her hand. Before she could wrap her head around what was going on, the bottle was back in her hand and she was staring at Erin with a confused expression on her face. “I... Why? I’ve never felt good, in my entire life. Never, ever.” She shook her head vigorously. Even if these weren’t the right pills, what she was saying about the medicine… “It’s medicine. It’s helping me. It’s helping me not feel bad and not be stuck,” Skylar pointed at her bed, “Stuck in bed all day because, because everything is too much.” And she didn’t need to change. And that was the most important thing.
Erin felt another crack in her chest give way while Skylar spoke. “Skylar…” she shook her head. “It’s not. I swear to you that it’s not. What you’re feeling, right now? It’s not real. There are other ways—better ways—to cope. I promise. I’m not just staying that either. I understand… that,” she said, gesturing to the bed now too. That heavy exhaustion that could trap a person down like a leaded blanket was a battle she knew all too well. It was hell. Turning to this was tempting on so many levels that she couldn’t blame Skylar at all for wanting that escape. But God did this ever feel a minefield. “Way better than you’d think, okay? And we can talk about all of that, as little or as much as you want.” Her eyes dropped to the bottle with the pills again. “After you flush those.”
Skylar did her best to muddle through Erin’s words. Not real? No, this was the only thing that felt real and right and good. Shaking her head, she looked at Erin, her blue eyes earnest, “I don’t think you do, though. No one really does. I hate what I am. It’s hurt me. It hurt my family, the people I care about. It still hurts me. And I don’t want to hurt anymore. I don’t want to hurt anyone else. I just want,” She let out a puff of air, blowing loose strands of hair from her face, “to be normal. And this is normal!” Skylar gestured to herself. “I feel good! I love how I am! I’m happy and better like this.” She nodded with renewed vigor.
Of all the nonsense Skylar had been blabbering on about, this threw Erin for a loop. It wasn’t nonsense at all, of course, if you focused on the direction this skewed train headed toward. It was very real. And very concerning. “Because you’re a selkie?” She asked, if only just to clarify. “What’s wrong with that?” Erin had her secrets, no question, but this specifically wasn’t an area she could dole out sage advice. And unless selkies were also some sort of man eating version of a seal she wasn’t aware of, she genuinely didn’t understand. She shook her head slowly. “Skylar—there is no normal. It doesn’t exist. And if there ever was one, it’s not you doped up on painkillers. It’s temporary because it’s not you. You will crash, and you will feel even more like shit than you did before.”
“Everything’s wrong with me.” Skylar said, her voice still even and upbeat as she spoke. She’d lost everything by being what she was. Her family had cut her out of their lives entirely. She’d tried and failed to gain control over this side of her, tried to figure out how to love what she was. She’d lost Ricky, lost the one person who had reassured her that he would be there to help her figure out what it meant to be a selkie. She’d only ever failed and lost and been hurt by what she was. So, what was wrong with this? What was wrong with feeling good? Even if it was only for now… maybe she could keep it going. If she just took a little more, took a little bit to make sure that she was good, that she was okay, maybe then she’d never need to turn. Maybe she could be human. “It’s okay. It’ll all be okay.” She said with a blissful smile.
Skylar was convinced this was the better way and Erin was realizing nothing she said was going to penetrate the iron-clad armor of serotonin that kept her grinning like an idiot. What little energy she had was depleting fast and what Erin could do right now was make sure she didn’t do anything stupid in this state. “It’ll be okay,” she echoed with a long sigh. Everything would be okay. It had to. Nic would come home and they’d work this all out. Squids and seal self-loathing be damned. She’d accept nothing less. “Come here,” she stepped forward, a temporary defeat in her voice as she wrapped her arms around the young woman. “I happen to think you’re pretty awesome just the way you are, you know. So I’m gonna stay here tonight and hang out. That alright with you?”
When Erin reached out and pulled her into a tight hug, Skylar wasn’t sure how to react. Hadn’t she been mad at her? But now she was hugging her. Whatever confusion she had was pushed out of her mind as she leaned into the embrace, burrowing her head into the woman’s shoulders. Skylar hugged Erin back, though her limbs felt limp and rubbery as she did so. “Okay. That sounds good to me.” She said, her voice muffled. This was good. Everything was right and good. Even if the house was empty, even if Nic was nowhere to be found, even if Shiloh hadn’t messaged her in days, even if Remmy had been torn into pieces before her eyes, even if Morgan was still trying to figure out her new life as a zombie, even if Deirdre had murdered people, even if White Crest was awful and cruel and terrible… Right now, things were good. And that’s what mattered.
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LoveHasWon – Sharing Experience For Growth By Erin Nichole Bartlett A New Article Has Arisen, it was quite factual in some aspects. Others were outright lies and one point had nothing to do with us at all. Hey, any publicity is good publicity right? This article was shared by my children’s father. Commented on by many friends and family. Many who have known me since birth, NOT a SINGLE ONE of those beings who commented have EVER come straight to me to ask me of my experience. NOT A SINGLE ONE. The author of the article didn’t come to us (whatever happened to unbiased journalism) NO ONE CAME STRAIGHT TO THE SOURCE. People are very quick to judge something they do not understand. They are programmed to fear what doesn’t “make sense” to their egos. I Love You All. I Forgive You. I Forgive Me. ❤️ I have been an active participant of Love Has Won for 6 years. Yes, I have four children. Yes, they have met MOTHER Of ALL CREATION. Yes, they are not with me at the moment in the physical. Yes, I Am Grateful They Are with family that Love and Care for them. No, not a single one of you have any idea of who I Am, what my experience has been in the past few years and what the TRUTH of my “situation” IS. Thank you to those of you who have reached out, who have come to me for answers about my journey. I Am Very Thank-Full For You. ❤️ For SIX Years I Have Followed Love Has WON. For almost 3 years now I have been here with LOVE HAS WON in the physical. To describe to you my whole experience would take a book or several hour podcast. 😉😂❤️ Your minds will never “get” MOM. ONLY YOUR HEARTS CAN KNOW AND FEEL THE TRUTH. If you don’t have a heart good fucking luck and If You Have Shut Yours Off Due To the pain and suffering on the planet, the fear, the lies, the BULLSHIT. Then OPEN It UP! FEEL ALL OF IT. Face ALL That Grotesque Shit That We EACH Have Chosen To Become, To Allow, To Wallow In. And After You Have ripped off the band-aid, OPEN YOURSELF UP TO LOVE! In order to Experience TRUE REALITY You Have To FACE REALITY. WHOLE TRUTH HEALS WHOLE TRUTH SETS US FREE FULL DISCLOSURE IS COMING WE HAVE BEEN TRYING TO WARN YOU, TO WAKE YOU UP. TO HELP YOU TRANSITION GENTLY. NO MORE... #5d https://www.instagram.com/p/CDGsebnsK_E/?igshid=l5v2g8nu40h5
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💚🖤 Twisted Steel 3rd Edition 🖤💚 The authors of the Twisted Steel anthology have decided to come back with a third edition. They heard how much you loved it and listened to the readers. But, that’s not all. A few new faces have been added as well. These USA Today and International Bestsellers have collaborated once again to bring you brand new biker stories that’ve never been published before. A combination of full-length novels and novellas are within the pages of this edition. A couple of these authors have written about characters in their clubs you already adore, while others are launching a brand new series. Each story takes place in a separate club, but you can always count on copious amounts of danger, suspense, angst but most of all – chemistry. We ask you again: will these men and women put everything on the line for their brotherhood, or will they risk it all for love? This collection includes stories from Dani René, April Canavan, Elizabeth Knox, Addison Jane, KE Osborn, Zara Teleg, Claire Marta & Nia Farrell, E.C. Land, Erin Osborne, Amy Davies, Kristine Allen, Chelle C. Craze & Eli Abbott, Claire Shaw, Jewelz Baxter, Rae. B Lake, H.J. Marshall, Nicola Jane, Erin Trejo, Jessica Ames, Heather Young-Nichols, Jessa Aarons, & Janine Infante Bosco. Preorder Links: Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Twisted-Steel-Third-Elizabeth-Knox-ebook/dp/B0935YDBRD iBooks: https://books.apple.com/us/book/twisted-steel/id1588108980 Barnes & Noble: https://m.barnesandnoble.com/w/twisted-steel-kristine-allen/1140135988?ean=2940162177760 Books2Read: https://books2read.com/u/bOJ9rQ Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58500577-twisted-steel Bookbub: https://www.bookbub.com/books/twisted-steel-third-edition-by-k-e-osborn-and-nicola-jane https://www.instagram.com/p/Cb3SvSfL0oR/?utm_medium=tumblr
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♥️Melhores livros de cada mês 2021 Tive dois meses ruins durante o ano, e são justamente esse dois meses que eu acabei não obtendo nenhuma leitura agradável. O resto dos meses foram maravilhosos e com muitos saldos positivos, foi até difícil escolher uma entre várias leituras ótimas que tive durante os meses. •JANEIRO: A Musa Dos Pesadelos - Laini Taylor •FEVEREIRO: Jack O Estripador - Kerri Maniscalco •MARÇO: A Traidora Do Trono - Alwyn Hamilton •ABRIL: Casa De Terra E Sangue - Sarah J. Maas •MAIO: De Repente - Nichole Chase •JUNHO: Verity - Colleen Hoover •JULHO: Un Mar Sin Estrellas - Erin Morgenstern •AGOSTO: Nenhum •SETEMBRO: A Melodia Feroz - Victoria Schwab •OUTUBRO: Crooked Kingdom - Leigh Bardugo •NOVEMBRO: Pássaro E Serpente - Shelby Mahurin •DEZEMBRO: Nenhum #book #books #livro #livros #MySecretBooks (em Espírito Santo, Brasil) https://www.instagram.com/p/CYTxMyrurr0/?utm_medium=tumblr
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THIS Saturday, August 10th, (7pm-11pm) come out to @gabbagallery, and check out over 60 established & emerging artists showcasing their music-inspired art! A portion of all sales will go towards funding music and arts education in local #losangeles schools. Don’t miss this! I would love to see you there. 🎨😍🎊 • • • 🖌✨: 1. “Under Blue Moon” by Alex Acheval 2. “Journey of Major Tom” by Erin Cadigan 3. “Billie Eillish” by Nichole McDaniel (at Gabba Gallery) https://www.instagram.com/p/B04VnXqhgoM/?igshid=f0529qyrw5ur
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