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melonsharks · 8 months

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Tell us everything about the parent trap au immediately please please please

to give u an insanely quick rundown with a wip art i have:

aziraphale as elizabeth. wedding dress designer under his pen name A.Z. Fell. (hes an artist as confirmed in s2 and the whole "drawing on napkins" thing elizabeth would do appeals to me immensely)

crowley as nick. owns a vineyard. I NEED HIM TO OWN A VINEYARD SO BAD. shoutout to Old Vines on ao3 for changing me in a fundamental way. he makes wines and he tends to the vines and he is so passionate about it to an abusurdist degree. he yells at his vines when they arent growing right. you already knowwww.

when they meet for the first time, they don’t meet on a boat like in the movie, they actually meet at a wedding party :J crowley was a wine collector, just starting out. he loved offering aziraphale samplings of his most vintage collection out of impulse. (he likes seeing the way aziraphale savors them) (he’s besotted) Wants to own his own vineyard one day. aziraphale, on the other hand, has dreams of becoming a fashion designer of sorts, always drawing ideas on any scraps of paper he can find. his designs are very old fashioned, but thats like… part of the appeal. his work very much reflects who he is, and the people who flock to it understand that.

they enter this kind of… whirlwind relationship, they get married, and then eventually adopt two golden haired blue eyed baby boys. twins. :J warlock and adam.

they break things off because aziraphale leaves... alluding to their recent breakup in season two, the reason he left was because "we both clearly had very different ideas on where our lives were going. so. i packed up and left." (parallel s2 divorce 😋 they don’t know how to talk to each other) (aziraphale throws a book at his head after this argument, like the hairdryer in the movie LOL. it was pride and prejudice. crowley still has it.)

aziraphale leaves with adam. warlock is left with crowley. crowley eventually leaves London because he finds he cant stand being anywhere near Aziraphale (hes just irresistible in that way), and he goes to California where he finally fulfills his dream of owning a vineyard. a nice one on Napa, Northern California.

Aziraphale’s wedding dresses become more and more well known, Adam grows well-adjusted. Same kid you know from the show and book, natural born leader, a good head on his shoulders. (Aziraphale has no idea why Adam is like that, but he is so proud)

Crowley’s vineyard (The Garden Of Eden) grows and grows… Warlock is spoiled rotten, but he does love actually working at the vineyard with Crowley to and he and Crowley have a really good relationship…

Eventually the kids go to a summer camp together in London (i dont know if they . do this in the UK, but suspend your disbelief if you will) Adam meets The Them there, then meets Warlock after a nutty fencing thing, they kind of hate each other at first and the rest is history :J

side characters UM. LOL. idk……. i mean i kind of know but not really? theres just so many possibilities that make the rounds in my head. chessy could be anathema OR nina (ive had people suggest eric too?) and martin could be newt OR maggie (ive also had people suggest muriel????) gestures vaguely.

as for meredith…….erm…………🤷‍♂️ ive had everything under the sun suggested to me and i still……have no idea. LOL. gabriel, lucifer, shaX, FURFUR, THE WIFE FROM THE NON-SPOILER SPOILERS. I DONT KNOW. IT ALL FEELS WRONG. its hard to come up with this role in particular when these gay bitches literally only have eyes for each other. always. forever. u know. i think lucy is like. the classic answer. but idfk.

ask me about . more things if u want. this is consuming my every thought.

anyways the cover im working on for. for something:

#good omens #good omens 2 #gomens #aziracrow #aziraphale #crowley #adam young #warlock dowling #parent trap au #asks #paradox-progressing #i said insanwly quick but this is so fucking long. im sorry

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hello-yue-here · 3 years

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Yuetara, zukka, and maiko

yuetara

ship

1) its not one of my main ships. i dont rlly read fanfic for them but if i see a cute fanart of them ill enjoy it and i think i first started shipping it because of good fanarts for them.

2) i like yuetara because of how similar they are. theyre both women from the water tribe. they both understand the misogyny that they have faced. and they both said f sexism im gonna be a strong woman. i also love the tui and la parallel. moon spirit and ocean spirit parallel COME ON. YUE IS THE MOON. KATARA IS THE MOST POWERFUL WATERBENDER. THEY ARE THE OCEAN AND THE MOON. the push and pull they could give eachother. that dynamic ftw.

3) i guess if i didnt like something about this ship would be the fact that if i read a fic or see a fanart w yuetara then than means in that particular au i wont get any yuekka and yuekka is probably my second favorite ship. but then again if i get yuetara than i could get a plethora of other sokka ships to go with it so my sadness disappears in like two seconds. gosh shipping is hard sometimes until you remember ‘hey i have like fifty different universes in my head. all ur ships can coexist in ur brain olivia’ other than that i really see no downsides to this ship. maybe i wish it had more content. maybe if it had more content id ship it a lot more but its not one of the more popular ships so the content is kinda few n far between on my feed.

zukka:

SHIPPP

1) my boys. my babies. my loves. i watched this show for the first time when it came out on netflix and when it ended i really didnt ship anything other than kataang. i came onto tumblr to find fun atla content and one of the very first things i saw under the atla tag was zukka content. i was like oh? whats this? zukka? interesting... i was intrigued so i found a list of fic recs and i fell in love with the ship. the rest is history. its probably my number one ship because it was my very first ship here and im nostalgic

2) oh boy there is so much i like about this ship. i relate to a shit ton of characters in atla. but sokka and zuko may be the ones i relate to most. i relate to sokka because i tend to feel second best a lot to my friends. i try to stay positive but things rarely go the way i plan or hope for them too and while im happy for my friends and their achievements i oftentimes find myself thinking why cant that be me? and i see this a lot in sokka especially in sokkas master. i dont feel special a lot and idk seeing sokka feel the same way and then realizing he is special kinda helped me realize that im special too. on the flipside i relate to zuko because i have wild anger issues and difficulty dealing w my emotions a lot as well. i get broody and short tempered and insecure very often and i tend to push people away and i refuse to ask for help (the amount of teachers and adults and therapists who have told me its okay to ask for help ur not any weaker because of it is astounding. do i listen to them? .....im working on it.) and i saw a shit ton of this in zuko. book one and two zuko rarely asks for help as seen in the blue spirit and zuko alone and he pushes away uncle so many times and even when the gaang iffers to help him in i think its the chase he tells them to leave. when he finally has his redemption and joins the gaang and lets them kinda become a better person i was so happy. i want that for myself yk. seeing him finally win the agni kai and overcome his family that always told him he was nothing was such a win. my sister and i get along but when we were children we were very much like zuko and azula. it was extremely competitive all the time and there was so much toxicity and sibling drama to a concerning extent. we get along great now which im very happy about but yeah their sibling relationship hit a lil too on the nose for me. seeing as i relate to these character so much and want them ti be happy i want to live vicariously through them so seeing them together is amazing for me to project into them. i love projecting onto fictional characters and with them i can project onto BOTH so its a winwin. plus so many zukka fics are so well written and heartwarming and heartbreaking and emotional and fluffy anf UGH the talent here us astounding.

3) what do i not like about the ship? again the list is long. oops. mainly the toxic shippers. there are so many toxic zukka stans that sometimes make it hard for me to enjoy this ship but hey! thats what the block button is for:) i despise how often people infantilize zuko and completely ruin his character for the sake of making him a soft weak lil boy who needs protecting. thats just not zuko for me. and ive seen many many accounts even state that this kind of portrayal of zuko is rooted in racist stereotypes about asian men (now i am white so i personally have never experiences racism but i feel the need to bring that up because it is wrong and attention needs to be brought to it because a lot of poc fans have criticised this) and the same for sokka. some ppl rlly skew his character and make him a big strong brute and hypermasculine and once again poc fans have said that this take is rooted in racist stereotypes. again! these are just my opinions! this is my favorite ship! but i think its important to acknowledge some of the bad parts of our ships as well and be critical where criticism is needed :))

maiko

ship

1) I LOVE MAIKO. “i dont hate you” “i dont hate you too” BRUH. my little heart just burst into flames. im sorry guys but maiko is so cute. they hate everything except eachother. BRUH that is one of the cutest tropes. i shipped them the moment i saw them together onscreen and i was so happy when zukos face lit up in the finale when mai came back.

2) “i hate everything but i have a soft spot for you” TAKE MY MONEY I AM A SUCKER FOR THIS. they are so cute together. like zuko is rarely happy in a majority of atla but mai makes him happy and i- 🥺🥺 HE DESERVES IT. and mai is always so supportive of him. when hes stressing out about the war meeting she tries her best to comfort him. and zuko cares about her too. he may not be the best at showing it but oh my god hes TRYING HIS BEST. i think its a very accurate portrayal of teenage relationships because they arent perfect and they do fight but like,, every teenage relationship does that. and even after everything and how he left her in the fire nation she still had his back at boiling rock. she still risked her life against azula to save his butt.

3) the thing i hate about maiko isnt even about maiko. its about antis who think mai is toxic and that zuko deserves better. that has got to be the worst take ive ever heard. they had a fight in ember island. that is NORMAL. they are teenagers. they are not perfect. but underneath all the rough edges and things they need to work out they still care about eachother so freaking much. i genuinelt believe that neither of them would do anything to intentionally hurt the other and i think thats what matters the most. if anything mai is the best girlfriend in the entire world because zuko fucked up like,, quite a few times. he got rlly jealous and dumped her thru a letter and ppl always say that mai was toxic for being mad at him for those two things. umm she had every right to be mad at him for both of those. and while zuko is allowed to feel his emotions and be angry sometimes as well sometimes he needs to think things thru and realize that hey maybe some if this jealousy is unfounded. BUT EVEN THEN. HE RESPECTED HER FEELINGS AND DIDNT TOUCH HER WHEN SHE SAID DONT TOUCH ME. HE RESPECTED HER. so i hate toxic maiko takes because they are literally so wrong in my opinion.

again all of these are just my opinions!! feel free to agree or disagree but please be respectful!! i will respect whatever u think as well because this is all just for fun :)

#atla #avatar the last airbender #zukka #yuetara #maiko #ship game #ask game #long post #wow i wrote a lot #also if anyone wants to talk ships feel free to message me!

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hopeymchope · 3 years

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its a common misunderstanding that the eldians in aot are supposed to represent the jews. they arent at all. theyre only meant to represent japanese people. the eldians having been a bloodthirsty empire who committed war crimes and then that history being erased for the progeny of that empire is reflective of japanese war crimes in ww2 and how they were left out of japanese textbooks purposely. i know the germanesque military uniforms of the eldians arent great but thats a problem earlier in aot

It’s impossible to see Eldians being rounded up in fenced ghettos that they can’t leave without a permit and forced to wear armbands emblazoned with stars upon them and NOT see the Jewish people during WWII. Such a thing never happened to the Japanese, and the armbands are just... beyond doubt.

I have read some analyses of how the island nation of Paradis could be seen as a parallel to the island nation of Japan, though, and it makes sense. Parallels can operate across multiple levels, after all. But viewing the Eldians of Paradis as being Japanese just leads back down the rabbit hole to Isayama’s pro-facism bent. The military (well, the Survey Corps and Garrison) is all sensible leaders and bold heroes; military might leads to a governmental takeover that is clearly better than the established government.

And what do our heroes do in this series? Fight for a life beyond the walls and eventually beyond the shore of the island. What does Eren ultimately do to protect the island of Paradis? He kills 80% of humanity so that no possible threat is strong enough to be aggressive towards them. How does it all end? The war rages on, supposedly until one side wipes out the other. If you view that from the lens of “Paradis is Japan/the Eldians are Japanese,” it again becomes pretty... problematic, as we now say.

#asks #anon #snk 139 #aot 139 #snk negativity #aot negativity #snk ending #aot ending #aot spoilers #snk spoilers

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pbandjesse · 4 years

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So I thought I had an interview today. But it was not an interview at all! Because the woman from the Y kept referring to me as the new lead teacher at this site. So...Not an interview! I have the job and I start on monday!

I am slightly conflicted but Ill get to that later.

I slept pretty well. I woke up at 8 like I am supposed to. But I wanted so much to go back to sleep. My navel piercing tore a little again and I had to take the jewelry out. Its very annoying. I have had this piercing for almost a decade but now I am getting psoriasis on it? Really?? At least all the other parts of my skin is healing really well. Im actually shocked but also worried about what I go off the steroid. Cause in the past its just all come back as soon as I stop. But at least for now I can enjoy it.

I did get up though. I got a shower. I bothered James. He made me a bagel. I teased him for how little cream cheese he put on it. And after chilling in the dungeon for a while I went to work on some art.

I had to sew a little tear on the dress I wore today. And the I just got to work on some of the last frog things Im making before the store goes live. I found a bag of hair clips so I didnt need to go buy any and that was exciting. I also worked on putting holes in the backs of the lego froggies. I am waiting on the heart beads still but the frogs went well.

The car was still not ready at noon. So James coordinated with him dad to borrow the car from him and walked to the monument to pick it up. I was nervous to drive someone elses car. James gave me some tips but I was still really scared.

I had lunch while James was gone. Cleaned up the apartment a little more. Made sure I had everything I needed. My notebook and stuff. Cleaned up my eyebrows. Was nervous!! But then James was back and I had to actually think about leaving.

But James got me a gift! It came in the mail! Its that fragrant jewels brand that is like bath bombs and candles with rings in it. They all smell like chocolate. I am excited to see what I get. He's the sweetest boy.

I left early. Because of course I did. I had a podcast. And it was a quick drive. Its about 20 minutes give or take. But man. It was so scary driving this car. It didnt coast like ours does, and I couldnt figure out how to put the head lights on. And I was just so nervous. But it ended up being fine but I was still scared the whole time.

I got to the place and it was nice! The neighborhood was nice. Solidly middle class. The location is next to a school. But its a Police Athletic League. And I dont know how I feel about that!! Like I firmly. Do NOT LIKE COPS. I dont want to be associated with the police. But also. The kids?? I want to help the kids. And Im not working for the cops. Im working for the Y. And the two guys who are working their are the sweetest guys. Older black men. Special education teachers. Kind and funny. So like. I have hopes. But yeah. It feels weird.

Lana, the Y contact, was parked in front of me and I texted her I was there and once she was done her conference call we walked over to the building.

And like I said the two men were so nice. We had a meeting and thats when I realized, oh I have this job. Because she kept referring to me as the lead teacher. Eventually I jumped in and was like. Hey BTW! This is my background and sort of gave my teaching history so that they had an idea of who I am. I will also have an aid, but she wasnt there today. I hope she's nice.

After the meeting the guys gave me a tour. Its a small building but is also very nicely laid out. Have a few different rooms. I have some ideas for how the space Ill be in could work. And while I am mostly there as support for the kids, I will have some time to do arts projects with them. Im excited for how much freedom I have but also they dont actually have any registered kids yet so I dont know the ages besides that they have it open for 5 to 17. Ill make it work.

After the tour we basically said see you at 8am on monday! And I was like. Awesome. And headed out.

I didnt exactly know where I was. But I also didnt want to be driving around a bunch in Tucker's car. But also I wanted wawa so I googled the closest one and headed there. I was starving.

The wawa was actually really busy. It was hard to socially distance but I think most people tried their best. I got my sandwich and ate in the car. And then headed to drop off the car with Tucker.

I had trouble parking but eventually I figured it out. I dont parallel park well on a good day but I did alright. And dropped off the keys with Tucker just minutes before the monument closed. So I made it! It was nice to see him. He won the raffle for tickets to the raven's game on sunday. I tisked at him but they are doing like a wild amount of distancing. So I hope its fine even if we arent happy about it.

I walked home. And honestly it was a long walk but I had a nice time. The weather was good. I had a drink. I had a podcast. It was a good time. A man asked for a quarter and I had exactly that. And it was just a good time.

I got home and was in a good mood. I have been having a good night. Enjoying photographing more art. Making so many drafts on instagram in prep for the store opening on sunday. I have just been having a nice night.

But I am tired. I think I am going to take a bath and use my new bath bomb and maybe the ring will come out?? I am looking forward to the surprise.

I hope tomorrow is another good day. Sleep well everyone. Take care of yourselves.

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dietheslashaddict · 5 years

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So am I the only one who genuinely didn't get the message about House Elves while reading Harry Potter? Like...here are these servants everyone has and everyone is like Oh Its ok to keep these guys slaves, they are happy being slaves! And as a kid i was just like oh ok yeah I see that. But no!!!! Thats systematic conditioning that they think they are supposed to be slaves! Maybe at some point in time they really wanted to be helpful? You know? And they liked cooking, or maybe cleaning houses was literally their reason for being? And Wizards came along and were like hey these guys are useful, lets breed a shit load of them, and best the shit out of them if they dont do what we say? And of course Wizards are humans and Humans are Awful so they did! And its the same kind of shit that history books tried to say about slavery, that they liked it, that they couldn't look after themselves, so we helped.

Hell skip the very obvious slavery parallel and remember JKs own story about suffering from depression really badly before and while writing the books? You tell a person their only worth in life is to serve another? You train them that from birth, and then have them train their own children and such? They sure as shit aren't gonna complain about being made to do what they think their lifes purpose is. And when the person they are meant to serve casts them out "frees them" they are going to look for someone else to serve, because thats the only thing they think they are good for, the only self worth they have is tied up in making others happy.

And then Hermione comes along and says What the Fuck guys!?!? Why are wizards keeping slaves?!? And everyone is just like "What? They want to be slaves? See! Look at the cute little things! They are just begging to serve!"

And maybe I was a dumb kid because i was like god Hermione's being an idiot, stupid SPEW, hey are magical creatures with different needs then our own, why should we judge them based on what humans expect?

Which is basically one of the arguments for the African slave trade!!! (Not magical creatures, but "less than human, and they arent like us")

Ok. Thats that. Just had to rant for a second because I feel like a fucking idiot and maybe I am. Thanks.

#HarryPotter #HouseElves #SPEW #Slavery #Internalized racism #against house elves?#obvious allegories that went over my head

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minijenn · 6 years

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So doing this pallet swap last night made me come up with a new UF AU idea, one that has some… pretty good angst material… So…. A while back one of you guys (and I can’t exactly remember who, sorry, feel free to identify yourself so I can give you credit for this concept!) brought up the concept of an AU where the roles of humans and Gems are kinda swapped in the framework of UF. So instead of Gems being the space faring race bent on conquering all planets they come across for their own needs, humans do that instead while the Gem Homeworld is its own peaceful little corner in space, much like Earth is in regular UF. But here, the humans are trying to expand Earth’s empire (for reasons explained in a bit) but a few human rebels (who you might be familiar with (imo there’s a lot less history here, all of this war stuff happened within the last idk 30 or so years btw instead of over thousands because well… human lifespans are fuckin short) fought back against their own kind to protect the Gem Homeworld and they managed to actually save it.

Thing about Earth in this AU is that its kinda… a mess? Like their whole “let’s go conquer other planets thing started out of mankinds’ own selfishness, and they were actually pretty successful at it but after they failed to get a hold on Homeworld, a certain illuminacho decided to take advantage of their failure and just sorta… take over. So yeah suffice to say that its kinda Weirdmageddon all the time back on Earth, with Bill having been in charge for about a decade or so, and he kinda just enslaves humanity and forces them to go out and get more planets for him (and he still wants Homeworld because he’s a dick). As for the Diamonds, they’re sort of a background influence back on Homeworld, not in power, but working in the shadows so they can eventually get in power of the planet and rule it as their own. So yeah kinda a swap between the Diamonds and Bill in here as far as roles go.

So yeah kinda scrambled and all over the place with the history here, but let’s go into the infinitely more interesting parts in here, the character swaps. So first off, Greg and Rose switch roles here. Which means Greg (of all people, I know) actually led the rebellion against Earth to save Homeworld, fell in love with Rose, and then (idk how) was the one who “died” when Steven was born (Steven’s like the only character in this AU who doesn’t switch with anyone, but he also doesn’t have a Gemstone though he does have some Gem powers (not as many though, here the emphasis is on how he’s different from everyone else around him because he’s human, seeing as how he’s living on a planet almost entirely populated with Gems).

So in a sense, the Crystal Gems are kinda swap with the Pines family in this AU as far as roles go (there’s basically no personality switching here… mostly). So the Gems are like idk doing their own thing and they consist of Steven, Amethyst, Pearl, and Rose. Where’s Garnet you might ask? Well let’s work under the assumption that Garnet was the one who had the idea to build the portal in this AU (after being influenced by the Diamonds, who kinda swap roles with Bill in this AU) and she worked along with Stan and Ford and Greg (and the other Gems) back in the day to do it but she inevitably got sucked into it and has been gone for 30 years (so basically, Garnet and Ford switch roles). So the other Gems are trying to get her back (while keeping all this a secret from Steven, who doesn’t even know anything about Garnet, of course).

So on the Pines side of things, we have Stan, Ford, and Mabel (I’ll explain where Dipper is in a bit), with Stan and Ford being kinda all that’s left of the human rebellion on Homeworld so they still try to keep the place safe and sound and everything while training Mabel to do the same (Pines parents are dead I guess, whatever), and the camaraderie between them and the Gems is more or less the same.

As for the rest of Homeworld, we got Gems everywhere instead of humans, and quite a few of them swap roles (more or less) with some variations with the residents of Gravity Falls in UF. Peridot and Pacifica would probably swap roles (kinda), so would perhaps Jasper and Gideon (though Bill would also fill in bits and pieces of Jasper’s role too for reasons I’ll explain in a bit) and while this is a rough comparison and isn’t perfectly parallel, like I said, that whole pallet swap between Dipper and Lapis inspired all this, so they would kinda kinda swap roles kinda. So while Lapis wouldn’t really live with the Crystal Gems per say, she’d be on actually good terms with them and she’d out there trying to figure out the reasons why whatever little sector of Homeworld they all live in is so strange. As for Dipper, I kinda think the main idea would be that he got I guess separated from the other Pines when him and Mabel were really little thanks to some Earth-loyal humans still poking around Homeworld, But instead of taking him back to Earth, they kinda just…. idk, keep him imprisoned for like several years (basically the poor kid kinda grows up as a prisoner) until he’s about 12 and he’s finally saved by Steven, Mabel, and the others. Yet even after being reunited with his family, Dipper’s kinda bitter cause it took them so damn long to find and rescue him, and he bitterly doesn’t consider Homeworld to be his home and so he wants to go back to Earth and he does (not knowing that its currently being ruled by an insane dorito). But he eventually escapes Earth after learning that and makes it back to Homeworld and him and Lapis bond just like in UF and its cute and sweet until Pacifica and Gideon show up (after similar to UF events) and something akin to the Return/Jailbreak happens? And the whole Malachite equivalent here doesn’t involve Gideon it involves Bill who decides to just show up and intervene and get rid of the Pines (and the CGs and Lapis), but Dipper stops him by agreeing to let Bill possess him (possession’s knida different here than it is in UF so Dipper stays in his own body during all this, idk I haven’t fully figured it out) so Bipper happens but Dipper takes control from Bill just long enough to trap them both in… idk a Kindergarten or something like that. And of course Lapis is distraught because her baby, so she ends up fusing with Jasper (who was sent by the Diamonds) into Malachite in our Sock Opera equivalent in an attempt to save Dipper but of course it doesn’t work and then idk from there, angst or something happens but yeah eventually Dipper is saved and he’s still kinda distant from the rest of his family so he ends up settling down with a post-redemption arc Pacifica at whatever barn equivalent there is because ship (Lapis and Peridot still get together in this AU of course)

Woo well that was a fucking wall of text but as for other ideas for this AU, mostly I just got other character swaps in mind, like McGucket swapping with Bismuth, the teens/cool kids swapping with like the Off Colors maybe? Perhaps Aquamarine and Topaz swapping with Lars ans Sadie and so on? But yeah generally in this AU Gems are pretty chill and non antagonistic while most humans are. Oh! And I almost forgot to mention Connie! I'm not completely sure about this yet but she might be a full Gem in this AU (a younger one, who's still close friends with Steven amd Mabel (who are already close friends here). As for everyone else... Idk like I said this AU just sprouted in my brain last night so its really new but idk I think it has a lot of interesting potential. So feel free to ask me more about it, give some thoughts/headcanons/ideas/AU name suggestions/whatever! *runs back to my corner and cries about how angsty this AU could be*

#Jen writes #universe falls #long post #AU idea #uf au

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internetdetectives · 5 years

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August 3rd, 2019 - Chat with Moonman

moonman31 8:38 PM: “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82DJUDS_S7Y”

moonman31 8:38 PM: "I’m here”

Slinky stinks 8:38 PM: "any memepage on 2019 ^^^^”

moonman31 8:39 PM: “thank you thank you”

moonman31 8:39 PM: “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKFYrRLL__0”

Slinky stinks 8:41 PM: "the theme that plays when you figth with greth at the end of the genocide run”

Slinky stinks 8:41 PM: "v a p o r l o v a n i a”

otherLiam 8:47 PM: "ayy moonman”

moonman31 8:47 PM: "yo”

otherLiam 8:48 PM: "Do you mind if I ask you kind of a bummer question? I hate to harsh your mellow but it’s important.”

otherLiam 8:48 PM: "Sorry to just spring that on you.”

moonman31 8:57 PM: "uh ok buddy

otherLiam 8:58 PM: "Thanks.”

otherLiam 8:58 PM: "What happened to the rest of the Internet Detectives in your timeline?”

moonman31 8:59 PM: "this is uh”

moonman31 8:59 PM: "yeah wow”

moonman31 8:59 PM: "ok”

moonman31 8:59 PM: "well ok”

moonman31 8:59 PM: "the internet detectives were pretty active for a while”

moonman31 8:59 PM: "I wanna say until late 2017”

moonman31 8:59 PM: "maybe early 2018”

moonman31 8:59 PM: "and they just disappeared.”

moonman31 8:59 PM: "well most of us”

Slinky stinks 9:02 PM: "wow, im sorry to hear that.”

ARGdov 9:02 PM: "Jesus”

ARGdov 9:02 PM: "Who was left? You and anyoen else we might know?”

moonman31 9:04 PM: "uh yeah, there was me, IA, Yugi, and Nocta”

moonman31 9:04 PM: "those were the only ones who didn’t vanish”

ARGdov 9:06 PM: "Wait”

ARGdov 9:06 PM: "Yuki?”

moonman31 9:07 PM: "no, Yugi”

moonman31 9:07 PM: "He was the spanish guy I mentioned before”

ARGdov 9:07 PM: "Oh, ok..that does not ring a bell”

ARGdov 9:07 PM: "Ah”

Slinky stinks 9:07 PM: "sorry im outdated, who is exactly yugi”

moonman31 9:07 PM: "He was def spanish because his english was not great and posted spanish memes”

moonman31 9:07 PM: "but he liked Yugioh, so”

otherLiam 9:08 PM: "We haven’t met Yugi yet, Slinky.”

otherLiam 9:08 PM: “That’s terrible, man. I’m sorry that happened. You say they “vanished”. “

otherLiam 9:08 PM: “Do you mean like, they just left the group and didn’t come online anymore, or full on missing-person-case dropped off the earth irl?”

Slinky stinks 9:09 PM: "ah, also, im so sorry about that”

ARGdov 9:09 PM: "Im wondering, then”

moonman31 9:09 PM: "I can assume they are dead because they vanished.”

moonman31 9:09 PM: Most of them have grieving families.”

ARGdov 9:10 PM: "Do you know what ID was doing at the time? What were they incestigating”

Slinky stinks 9:10 PM: "well if we follow the time, late 2017 was when…”

ARGdov 9:10 PM: "Im gonna check our records, see what we were doing at the time”

moonman31 9:10 PM: "I’d rather not think too much more about it to be honest with you. But I’ll answer what I can manage.”

Slinky stinks 9:11 PM: "sorry about that”

ARGdov 9:11 PM: "Thats understandable”

moonman31 9:11 PM: "That being said I don’t honestly remember what the goal was at the time, I always had a foot somewhere else doing other shit.”

Slinky stinks 9:11 PM: "when the video . was uploaded”

ARGdov 9:11 PM: "Im just wondering what was different, in your timeline”

otherLiam 9:11 PM: "Yeah don’t push it man, I know this is hard. I hate doin’ this to you.”

ARGdov 9:11 PM: "It seems like it was several things already”

Slinky stinks 9:12 PM: "around the Un 2017 i guess”

ARGdov 9:12 PM: "But if we can pinpoint more details we can better understand whats going on and how we can help”

moonman31 9:12 PM: "a lot of stuff seems the same as far as i can tell, except the names of IDs and various events are dramatically different”

Slinky stinks 9:12 PM: "what was IA name on this timeline?”

moonman31 9:12 PM: "also I’m under the impression there was no Nocta in your perspective of the group”

Slinky stinks 9:13 PM: "yeah, kevin was…”

Slinky stinks 9:13 PM: "not here”

ARGdov 9:13 PM: "So the person were p sure Nocta is was never in ID”

ARGdov 9:13 PM: "He was a member of the LC, kinda ascended and became a master of Jid, where all the ascended souls were kept”

Slinky stinks 9:13 PM: "yeah”

ARGdov 9:14 PM: "So thats uh…notable. It raised a lot of questions”

moonman31 9:14 PM: "as far as IsocelesAssassin I’m pretty sure he’s CircleHunter to you guys”

ARGdov 9:14 PM: "Oh wow”

ARGdov 9:14 PM: "That”

Slinky stinks 9:14 PM: "ah”

ARGdov 9:14 PM: "Makes sense”

Slinky stinks 9:14 PM: "the name”

ARGdov 9:14 PM: "But is still kinda freaky”

ARGdov 9:14 PM: "Wow”

Slinky stinks 9:14 PM: "yeah”

ARGdov 9:14 PM: "Yeah lol”

otherLiam 9:14 PM: "When did Nocta join your side’s ID?”

Slinky stinks 9:14 PM: "ive thougth abou it this morn lol”

ARGdov 9:14 PM: "Im wondering, then”

moonman31 9:15 PM: "Uh Nocta joined us kinda late”

ARGdov 9:15 PM: "Did an event take place on 11/11 at any point by you guys?”

moonman31 9:15 PM: "after the bullshit with youshouldnthavedonethat.net”

moonman31 9:15 PM: "like in 2017”

moonman31 9:15 PM: "early 2017”

ARGdov 9:15 PM: "That went down for us mid to late 2016”

ARGdov 9:15 PM: "But im assuming it was more or less the same bullshit”

ARGdov 9:15 PM: "Were still not sure what happened there”

moonman31 9:16 PM: “no the shenanigans with that line up”

moonman31 9:16 PM: "as far as I can tell”

moonman31 9:16 PM: "Nocta dipped in shortly after”

moonman31 9:16 PM: "in early 2017”

ARGdov 9:16 PM: "Hmm ok, maybe Im misreading something.”

ARGdov 9:16 PM: "Nonetheless”

ARGdov 9:16 PM: "So, im wondering”

ARGdov 9:16 PM: "Things got kinda weird after all that by us too”

ARGdov 9:16 PM: "Like were all still a little lost. Timelines converged, history mightve been changed, etc”

ARGdov 9:16 PM: "Early 2017 wouldve been when our greth got wrapped up in everything more seriously, i think”

otherLiam 9:18 PM: "I think it’s important to know what exactly happened in your side’s version of that event, since it seems like that’s where shit diverged.”

otherLiam 9:18 PM: "Did you guys vote to use the kill switch?”

ARGdov 9:19 PM: "Thats a good question”

ARGdov 9:19 PM: "Did you guys vote yes on the kill switch?”

moonman31 9:20 PM: "Honestly”

moonman31 9:20 PM: "I am gonna have to talk to someone about that”

moonman31 9:20 PM: "I can’t really remember.”

ARGdov 9:21 PM: "Alright, well, let us know once you find out :/”

moonman31 9:21 PM: "When most of your friend group dies other shit seems irrelevant even when it clearly is.”

Slinky stinks 9:21 PM: "yeah dont worry”

ARGdov 9:21 PM: "We get it”

ARGdov 9:21 PM: "Youve been through”

ARGdov 9:21 PM: "A lot”

ARGdov 9:21 PM: "More than any of us”

Slinky stinks 9:21 PM: "that is some hard shit, so if you dont remember, we understand”

ARGdov 9:22 PM: "Weve been involved and have been trying to help and save people but despite all that weve never truly suffered or been put at risk”

ARGdov 9:22 PM: "And once you were on AO im sure things didnt improve”

ARGdov 9:22 PM: "Which reminds me- how did you get invovled with AO?”

otherLiam 9:22 PM: "Like I said, don’t push yourself. Find out when you’re able.”

moonman31 9:23 PM: "Well Nocta sort of dipped out for a bit from ID. After that happened all the scariest shit went down.”

moonman31 9:23 PM: "I tracked him down myself and idk, I joined in because I wanted to see how he was doing.”

moonman31 9:23 PM: "I thought it was important to keep the connections that were still around going”

Slinky stinks 9:23 PM: "makes sense”

moonman31 9:23 PM: "Anyway he had set up a shittier version of AO by that point.”

ARGdov 9:24 PM: "Yeah.”

moonman31 9:24 PM: "I was worried about him but the more he let me in the more parallels with stuff I’d seen before, but more real to me. So I felt, in the crumbled spirit of ID that remained, I had sort of a g o d l y responsibility to make sure shit didn’t go too far.”

moonman31 9:24 PM: "Seems I failed lol.”

ARGdov 9:25 PM: "You tried, and thats whats important”

ARGdov 9:25 PM: "This is cold comfort I know but theres no way everyone can ever be saved. And those losses arent your fault”

moonman31 9:26 PM: "anyways the spirit of WH from my world lives in on in basically just me and IA now, though he’s… different, now.”

moonman31 9:26 PM: "Anyways I’m gonna bounce.”

ARGdov 9:26 PM: ”…alright”

moonman31 9:26 PM: “This was also fucking depressing.”

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anncbeth · 7 years

Text

im gonna add to the slytherin!percy discourse w stuff from the pottermore entry letter lmao (idek if there is discourse but here we go anyway)

"…our common room lies behind a concealed entrance down in the dungeons. As you’ll see, its windows look out into the depths of the Hogwarts lake. We often see the giant squid swooshing by – and sometimes more interesting creatures. We like to feel that our hangout has the aura of a mysterious, underwater shipwreck.“

the common room LITERALLY gives off an underwater vibe. done next

"I’m not denying that we’ve produced our share of Dark wizards, but so have the other three houses – they just don’t like admitting it. And yes, we have traditionally tended to take students who come from long lines of witches and wizards, but nowadays you’ll find plenty of people in Slytherin house who have at least one Muggle parent.“

for anyone using the "but percy is good and slytherin is evil!!!” argument (also, if you consider the gods as a parallel to having wizard parents, percy fits the one-muggle-parent bill described here lmao)

“Merlin was a Slytherin. Yes, Merlin himself, the most famous wizard in history! He learned all he knew in this very house! Do you want to follow in the footsteps of Merlin? Or would you rather sit at the old desk of that illustrious ex-Hufflepuff, Eglantine Puffett, inventor of the Self-Soaping Dishcloth? I didn’t think so.”

the sass here is so!!!! percy!!!!!!! his wit and sharp tongue and snark would fit right in fite me

“We also get respect from our fellow students. Yes, some of that respect might be tinged with fear, because of our Dark reputation"

dark!percy you guys. not only does the name perseus literally mean ‘to destroy’ but quotes like “[Annabeth]’d retreated to the edge of the cliff, even though the poison wasn’t after her. She sounded terrified. It took Percy a moment to realize she was terrified of him. "Stop…” She pleaded, her voice hoarse. He didn’t want to stop. He wanted to choke this goddess. He wanted to watch her drown in her own poison. He wanted to see just how much misery Misery could take.” should convince you that percy DEFINITELY gives off a scary persona to those around him…his natural expression is brooding and dark…leo equated a look on percy’s face to jason shooting lightning…he makes the gods nervous because of how powerful he is…he has so so so much respect from those at camp half blood and on mt olympus and yes that’s partially tinged w fear bc of how goddamn scaRY AND DANGEROUS HE CAN BE

“We’re like our emblem…powerful, and frequently misunderstood.”

okay annabeth says in the lightning thief “[the Big Three’s] children were just too powerful.” also nico said “Percy is the most powerful demigod I’ve ever met.” i think percy has proven his power to us through his water powers and saving the world like sixty times over lmao,,, moving on to ‘frequently misunderstood’ @ the above point people can see him as solely scary and dangerous (with fair points???) or solely a mythical hero who has done great deeds (also w fair points) but that’s not all he is, there’s a side of him that’s so dorky and goofy and people tend to look past it just like how people look past slytherin’s good traits and only see the basics

“We Slytherins look after our own"

PERCY’S FATAL FLAW WAS LITERALLY THE FACT THAT HE LOOKED AFTER HIS FRIENDS N FAMILY TO THE POINT WHERE HE’D DIE FOR THEM. YALL IK HUFFLEPUFFS ARE LOYAL BUT ITS SO SLYTHERIN TO HAVE SUCH AN EXTREME AND STRONG BOND W PEOPLE THAT YOUD DIE FOR EM. SLYTHERINS ARE SO PROTECTIVE OF THOSE CLOSE TO THEM AND SO ANGRY AT THOSE THAT ARENT JUST LIKE PERCY AND I WILL F I G H T

"you know what Salazar Slytherin looked for in his chosen students? The seeds of greatness. You’ve been chosen by this house because you’ve got the potential to be great, in the true sense of the word."

percy is considered one of the greatest heroes like ever…honestly tho. poseidon said shit like "You have risen above every hero.” and “a great hero must be rewarded” before offering him immortality,, a gift only offered to the truly great (o btw a part of him wanted to say yes…attitude of a slytherin). percy fought tooth and nail for 10+ books i think he’s proved his greatness to everyone by now. he had the “seeds of greatness” in the first book when he went on his first quest at the age of 12, he was ambitious and so desperate to prove himself n he’s a sLYTHERIN YALL

“[Gryffindors] like beating us only slightly less than we like beating them.”

PERCY IS SO GODDAMN COMPETITIVE like here ‘“I could have killed you.” “Or I could have killed you,” Percy said. Jason shrugged. “If there’d been an ocean in Kansas, maybe.” “I don’t need an ocean—”’ like honestly perc calm yourself O WAIT HE CANT HES TOO COMPETITIVE BC HES A SLYTHERIN

(bonus: slytherin is literally considered the water-element house enough said // some of the main slytherin traits are ambitious and determined and those fit percy unbelieVABLY WELL// i could add so much but this post is already long as hell lmfao)

#sorry if someone already did this #slytherin!percy #pjo #hoo #addi speaks #percy

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pwebdevelop · 5 years

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kendrixtermina · 7 years

Text

Extra Typology Vol #3 - Part 16, C: The Serious Style (Pitfalls, Warning Signs & analysis)

Once we have acquainted ourselves with the possibility that a negativistically oriented mode of percieving the world is a point of view like any other, it follows that like any PoV it can become extreme, overly entrenched and inflexible

- Certainly many of us can attest to the existence of overly cynical, negative people who are nothing but critical and angry and seem to have no pleasure or relaxation in their lives; according those people whose perceptions are dominated by doom and gloom, nothing is ever good ever.

Warning Signs:

While a functional Serious person won’t have big expectations, theyalso won’t throw up their hands and unlike others, won’t see seeing or pointing out a bad outlook as synonymous with doing nothing about it, a breaking/turning point happens when one ceases to see the point in trying and/or begins to completely disregard any positives

Instead of a somber & objective self-appraisal, we get almost reflexive self-blame; When they look inward, they find themselves

Passive, helpless & hopeless attitude to all things

Outwardly, they perceive existence as without hope & find nothing but fault & cause for complaint in others; At the same time they might be devastated if those others left them

Not giving potential avenues for pleasure or life improvement a chance, so that pessimism becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy

They attend to what must be done in their unhappy lives, but it feels like pushing a heavy boulder up a steep incline - if they let go they’d be crushed so they have no choice but to keep up with the awful task (A/N: Ouch)

Inability to find relief in relaxing activities

Inner Mechanics:

Often he doom, gloom and negativity that extreme pessimists tend to see reflected in the world actually comes from the inside, and is in large parts nothing more than a projection of their own negativity and the lens of their beliefs & expectations coloring their every perception - they expect to see the bad & discount/ don’t trust the good so that’s what they see, and what becomes the basis upon which they act, so that their hopelessness in fact leeds them to limit themselves.

The individual in question may not realize that is is their own lens and perspective that makes their life seem bad - and even if they do, they wouldn’t believe that there is any hope for change and just lament what they see as their unshakeable lot in life.

Suboptimal Environments:

As one can imagine, bad experiences and lackluster prospects can make on cynical and jaded.

Such a person might then be extremly vulnerable to finding themselves with dysthimia or major depression, and looking over the list of signs one may indeed wonder where the distinction lies - as do the clinicians themselves.

Someone with can’t-even-get-out-of-bed depression that shows up clearly on monitos as decreased brain activity surely has as much of an organic disease as someone with, say, kidney insufficiency, & after some time in therapy sufferers may be quite aware of the irrnationality, and the last such people need is some invalidating Oprah winfrey woo-woo talk blaming everything on their ‘attitude’ like they can just stop.

Discrete symptomatic mood disorders that come with physical effects are primarily dysfunctions of mood & the instrument in your head that you’d use to recognize happiness or assign meaning in the first place whereas the above description is centered on cognitive & behavioral symptoms, someone’s attitudes, habits, beliefs & ways of acting which would that may or may not occur in addition to that as if superimposed on who the person generally is, and for much of history the sholarly view has been that there’s a distinction between the sort of very concrete “biological” disorders that you’d treat with pills and more pervasive disordered patterns with biographical causes that you’d approach with talk therapy & analysis

- but few things in biology ever come with hard distiinctions and ultimately, everything about the human mind (disordered or otherwise) has some correspondency in brain physiology & as scientists have been able to take ever closer looks into those inner workings, people have come up with the alternative idea that a lot o things related to brain functonality exist on a spectrum with acute axis one disorders on one extreme, chronic disordered patterns more in the middle and regular every day personality traits - which itself has potentially unsettling implications. While full-on depression is clearly a debilitating disease that would seem to curtail or limit whatever power one’s feedom of choice ‘normally’ has on one’s thoughts (and whatever kind of treatments make a given person feel better are sensible measures), a lot of us would seem something scary/creepy about the ideas that our beliefs & opinions may be ‘hard wired’ to some extent, or that anything but being all cheerful & slightly overestimating your skills is a however mild disease that should be fixed - After all, some things are simply bad, for legitimate outside reasons.

Perhaps one could draw parallels to how anorexia can demonstrably be precipitated in those with perfectionist tendencies when put in an environment full of unhealthy beauty standards but once someone actually has the disease and in effect gets “stuck” with an internal sense of beng ugly, telling them that they arent or that the fashion industry is bullshit is no good as the disorder is precisely characterized by a distortion of perception and in all these things both familiar predispositions & bad environments are found to have a role (more on that later) - in any case, human brains are effin complex things, even before one considers the ethical & philosophical issues that are inevitably bound up in all this.

#oldham personality #oldham #personality #typology #extraTypology #serious

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thothonegan · 7 years

Text

A bug, how processes work, a history of FDs and C, forking gotchas, race conditions that aren't and general Insanity.

So I just had a fun bug to track down. Was going to have an early day and just finish up builds for a release, when I hit a bug doing my OSX build. I've had this bug for probably a month, but it was easy to work around so I've been ignoring it. So I decided to fix it, not realizing it'd take 5 hours and the rest of my sanity. This is the true story. No names were changed.

I have a tool called WolfRez, which is a resource compiler. Its kindof like a specialized make : you hand it a directory, and it uses a bunch of rules in the filesystem to run commands on the resources. A lot are just copying to where they should be, but it will also do things like compress YAML and Wexpr files, crush PNGs, encode WAV files as Opus (including adding song tags), compile lua files, etc.

So for example, this rule tells it to crush all .png files it finds, and the one below is compiling .lua files into .luac files:

- inputGlob: "**/Resources/Endless.tek/**.png" rule: pngCrush # no outputExt: dont change the filename - inputGlob: "**.lua" rule: luaCompile notOSTargets: [ android, ios, emscripten ] outputRegexpCapture: ".*(?'capture'\\.lua)$" outputRegexpReplace: ".luac"

A few months ago, I was tired of its performance not being the best, so I had it multithread its jobs. With the 2500 files currently in Endless's resource directory, and Demon (my computer) having 24 cores, you can easily see it can get a massive speedup. And resources are embarassingly parallel - no real interdependencies at the moment or anything. So I added it, using WolfTask (which is a nice easy task system), and with a few mutexes/semaphores added, it worked perfectly!

Well it did on Linux and Windows at least.

OSX had this odd thing where occassionly it would hang. The log would say it was finished (or close to finished), but it would never finish. In debug mode or manual builds it'd be fine for some reason, but when I did my release builds (which is pretty much automated cause I'm lazy) it almost always would just hang. So of course my first thought is a race condition. Some task isn't reporting its completion properly, or two are stomping on each other somewhere.

And if I ran it again (which 95% of the resources were already compiled from the failed run), it'd be perfectly fine finishing the last few. Weird.

So first, lets pull out our trusty helgrind! Helgrind is a module for valgrind which lets it detect race conditions. Helgrind is really slow, but I have my laptop so lets run it on Linux while we're looking on OSX. Maybe it'll point out the race condition and it'll be easy!

Hint: Nope. Took about an hour, pointed out some races between console statements (that arent a problem in practice since they're in error handling) but no easy race problems under Linux. Damn. Must be platform specific.

So time for debugging! With my trusty console statements, I confirmed that the TaskGroup all the tasks were a part of was getting all of them added, yet it was never being completed. Welp, lets start throwing statements inside TaskGroup. Its old code, it probably fell down right?

An hour later : nope. Its old code, but thats cause its good code.

Instead it seems like the handler isn't ever finishing. Errr. what?

auto task = taskSource->createTask([iter,&outputs,&failedDuringBuilding](WolfTask::Task* /*task*/) { auto output = iter.value; BuildProgress progress; progress.currentOutput = iter.index; progress.numberOfOutputs = outputs.count(); // code made it here... but never left buildIfNeeded() if (!output->buildIfNeeded(progress)) { console.error() << "Error when building" << WolfConsole::EndLine; failedDuringBuilding = true; return; } });

Okkkkk so its a bug inside buildIfNeeded() that only happens on OSX RelWithDebInfo sometimes. And causes hangs. And never was an issue before. Weird, but ok - start tracing through that. At this point I had like 600 console statements outputting task pointers and stuff, and a lot of it interleaving (cause console is not thread safe on purpose). Finally narrowed it down to basically two different tasks that seem to not complete : luac tasks (compiles lua files into binary form), and pngcrush tasks (tries to make png files as small as possible). No pattern at all of which specific job though.

So lets do some tracing within the pngcrush rule!

WolfType::Bool PNGCrushRule::runWithAction (Action* action, const WolfYAML::Node& customProperties) { // ... elided : set up params, etc ... // code makes it fine here auto res = RuleHelpers::runProgramWithArguments( pngCrushLocation.ref().filePath().zref(), args ); // and this never returns. return res; }

Ok, so its blaming runProgramWithArguments. Thats just a wrapper around WolfSystem::Process. And WolfSystem::Process is code thats used practically everywhere for a long time, so its gotta be good, right? Well thats where the bug says it is, so down another rabbit hole! Can't make any assumptions about whats good code or not.

So Process is a wrapper around running an external program. 99% of programs (including WolfRez) just uses the nice wrapper function around it which looks like this:

WolfType::Vector<WolfType::String> stdoutVec; WolfType::Vector<WolfType::String> stderrVec; WolfSystem::ExitStatusCode returnValue = WolfSystem::ExitStatusCodeSuccess; // Run the given program, with the given arguments, and store its output // in our vectors. auto res = WolfSystem::Process::runTillFinished( programPath, args, &stdoutVec, &stderrVec, &returnValue );

Pretty simple right? Even get the output back easily. Theirs a lot more control if you need it to run async or whatever, but this will just run till the program finishes, then hand back what it got.

Since I think its a multithreaded issue, lets add a mutex right here! Make it so only one thread at a time can run a process. Slow as hell, but it'd show if its a race issue right? Welp, added it, slowed everything by 20x, and while it didnt happen as often, the hang still happened. Sigh, time to go deeper.

Lets talk about how Process works! Unfortunately, most OS level things for running processes dont work the nice simple way the above API does. Most programmers will know about system() which let you run a program, but you can't get the output from it. And that's about it for C standards of running programs! Amazing isn't it. C++ has a technical group I think working on a better interface, but for now it's OS specific. So you need to go even lower to POSIX/WinAPI. So here's how processes work on UNIX (Windows is similar, but has some core differences : if you want me explain it, send me a msg).

Lets say you want to start a new process with the file descriptors (FDs) (such as stdout/stdin) redirected so your program can read them. Here is the list of things you need to do:

First, you need to create the new process. In POSIX, you use fork() to do this. Fork clones the current process, and tells you if you're the parent or the child. Congratulations on your new process!

Second, you need to redirect your FDs. You use something like dup2() to make copies. In Wolf's Process, we use pipes to talk between the parent[application] and child[what will become the program]. Importantly, dup2 needs file numbers, so you can use something like fileno() to get them.

Lastly, you need to run one of the exec functions (such as execve()). This replaces the current process with the new process image at the given location. If you know of Julie-Su (my IRC bot) that could restart herself, this is how she did it.

So in other terms: its like making a clone of yourself, making sure it knows how to talk, then wiping its memory with whatever you want it to do. Programming is weird.

So now you have a child process running the program you want, along with a pipe to your main process to communicate. In the case of runTillFinished, you then just sit on that pipe select()ing, recording any data from stdout/stderr, and waiting for the pipes to close. Once they're closed, you know the program finished and can return all that juicy information.

Back to the bug, I started adding more console statements within WolfSystem::Process. You can't put much debug things within the child process after fork, since you get rid of your FDs, but the parent process basically ends up just waiting on select() for the child process to call. Cue spending 30 minutes playing with arguments to select's timeout which seem to affect it hanging or not, but ultimately was a red herring. The problem is the child never sends messages to its parent, but it also never closed the pipes even though it finished. Err.. it did finish, right?

While I was in the middle of recompiling for the 30 billionth time, I decided to setup a small script running pstree on the process. pstree is just a simple version of ps which shows a process and its children as a nice tree. On Linux, theirs no distinction between processes and threads (somewhat known as light weight processes), so you can easily watch your program to see how its threading or spawning processes. So open another terminal, and lets do:

while true; do clear; pstree PID; sleep 1; done

Now on OSX, threads aren't processes so they dont show up. But as soon as you fork() (which creates a new process), it shows up in pstree. And even nicer, when you exec it shows the new commandline in pstree! Neat! In retrospect this makes sense, since fork()/exec() is how shells work too.

Within pstree though there were two interesting things that showed up which made me curious.

First, zombie processes show up like (pngcrush). A zombie process is a process which has exited, but hasn't been cleaned up by its parent yet. You'd mostly see them for a split second before they get reaped (yes, those are technical terms). However, 1 or 2 of the stuck tasks were showing up as zombies.

Second, I had quite a few child processes which were still named 'WolfRez'. This only should happen for the few microseconds between the fork() (creating the process) and execve() calls (replacing it with the new process). It definitely should not be hanging in that state, theirs literally 5 lines of code there and no loops or anything for it to get stuck in.

What the heck is going on? So lets pull out our debugger (and not in the normal mode). See, if you're a normal process debugging is easy. You start up your program, and can access all the threads and so on. But a debugger generally doesn't let you get to child processes (or more likely, I don't know how to do it in LLDB). Luckily though, like all good debuggers, we can attach to arbitrary processes! So lets try attaching to things.

Attaching to pngcrush doesn't work at all. Mostly cause its a zombie [yes that took me a while to figure out]. Attaching to the WolfRez child processes work fine, and you can see the entire call stack, even pre-fork! (since the fork() copies everything, it even has its old callstack). However the top is a bit odd - its waiting inside a mutex called from the dup2() lines.

if (dup2(m_stdoutPipes[1], fileno(stdout)) == InvalidPipe) std::cout << "[Process::execAndPipe] Unable to dup stdout" << std::endl;

Now the dup2() is used to duplicate file descriptors. If you want to get the output from the process (say STDOUT, also known as FD1), you need some way to feed it back to your parent program. So the easiest way is to create a pipe. The parent program has one end (call it FD4) and the child has the other (call it FD5). Output from one end moves to the other end, and bam: easy communication! But how do we trick the program to write its output on FD5 instead of FD1? Thats where dup2() comes in. dup2() copies a file descriptor into another FD, making both of them act the same. So you can duplicate FD5 into FD1 and now anything written to FD1 is the same as writing to FD5! Program writes to FD1, ends up in FD5, goes to FD4, and we're good. Goes over our pipe to the parent, allowing storing in the vector, yadda, yadda.

So lets talk a bit more about forking [I'm sure you're excited about Yet Another Tangent]. See, forking and multithreading dont get along. At all. Forking makes a copy of the process's data space, but ONLY the current thread's callstack. All other threads just dissapear in the new space. Its kindof like a camera that takes a normal picture, except it will only show one person (the active one). Everyone else was never there : if they dug a hole, the hole is still there but thats it. So whats bad about this? Consider this: you're a good programmer (cause of course you are!), and you make things thread safe. Therefore, you have mutexes, critical sections, semaphores, and other constructs to make sure multiple threads dont mess with stuff at the same time. So consider this: a thread enters a mutex, locks it, then BAM: another thread forks. Data is copied, but only the thread that forks is in the new process. What happens to that mutex? Well, its still locked! And the thread that locked it can't unlock it, cause it never existed [in the new process's view at least]. So if your new thread now tries to use anything that needs that mutex, welp, you're screwed : the lock is frozen shut. Meet Mr. Deadlock.

Sounds like fun, eh? So theirs some pretty big warnings about not calling things between fork() and execve() if you're multithreaded. You can't guarantee the state of anything at all, because so many things are trying to be thread-safe. Even simple things like malloc() or printf() might use a global lock somewhere, and could get locked. So maybe it's dup2()s fault! After all it doesn't say its async-signal safe (which is what the man pages says is the only guaranteed working functions). But the dup2() thing is used by a lot of better programmers than I, so either:

they have the same issue and never ran into it

its something else.

So after another half hour of messing with things, I finally looked at the LLDB trace a bit closer for the child process.

The mutex being locked is within fileno(). .....What?

fileno() should be a pretty brain dead function. It gets the FD number for a FILE* pointer. See, UNIX always has used integers for FDs, such as FD1 being stdout. However, when it came time to make C portable (especially to Windows), it needs to hide details like that. So C uses FILE* (the same thing functions like fopen() do) as its main file handle. So stdout for example, is a FILE* to remain portable. Luckily on POSIX, they have fileno() to convert from the C form to the actual int code, which other POSIX functions like dup2() want. So fileno(stdout) is an easy way to get the number 1 (since its always file descriptor 1).

Here's glibc's version of the function for an example:

// this code block is GPL from glibc-2.25. // not that theirs any reason to copy it. #define _IO_fileno(FP) ((FP)->_fileno) int __fileno (_IO_FILE *fp) { CHECK_FILE (fp, EOF); if (!(fp->_flags & _IO_IS_FILEBUF) || _IO_fileno (fp) < 0) { __set_errno (EBADF); return -1; } return _IO_fileno (fp); }

Simple! It just accesses the struct backing 'fp', and grabs the fileno from it (with error handling and safety things around it).

Well, until you find out that on OSX, fileno() appears to take a mutex. I'm not sure if its a global mutex or one tied to the FD's backing data, but either way it locks a mutex. The same mutex that output uses. A mutex which quite possibly is locked because another thread before forking was outputting progress information or rules to the screen.

So the events to cause this was basically:

WolfRez runs, starts up multiple tasks [24 on this computer].

One thread outputs to the screen its normal messages. This takes an internal mutex by the OS/standard library.

Another thread starts running a task requiring it run an external program (say luac or pngcrush).

That causes WolfSystem::Process to run, causing a fork(), freezing the mutex closed.

Post fork, the process tries to duplicate stdout. To do that, it needs the number so it calls fileno().

fileno() tries to take the lock that was taken prior to the fork.

And since the fork happened, the lock is frozen and will never be unlocked. Deadlock.

Sigh...

So the fix? POSIX also defines the simple defines STDOUT_FILENO STDIN_FILENO STDERR_FILENO which has the explicit numbers (1 2 3) for the standard streams. Which is all that was needed in the first place. So its an easy change. Rerun everything, and its all perfectly happy now.

And that my friends is why you're not supposed to do anything complex at all between a fork() and its execve(). You get to spend 5 hours with Xcode, lldb, pstree, and man pages. You get to question your abilities, what the hell is happening, and try to remind yourself that computers are supposidly logical. And get to listen to all of She's albums over and over and over. On the plus side though, learned a TON about how lldb works, and way too much about how OSX works. Now to forget it all, because after all : programming is about solving problems, then having them nicely wrapped so you can forget it all.

Programming in a nutshell : 5 hours of work for 5 seconds of typing to fix it. And the fix was something you should have done in the first place.

Now for some 酒 and some massively needed sleep.

#debugging #development #wolfrez #wolf #osx

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trendingnewsb · 7 years

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Why I aborted 2 very wanted pregnancies

April held several anniversaries for me. The anniversary of an unrealized due date, the anniversary of an ended pregnancy, the anniversary of my birth40 years ago this year. All three of these dates gave me pause to reflect on the choices Ive made.

Choice. The word feels big and comes up often lately. When faced with my strong-willed 3-and-a-half-year-old son, Ive learned to give him only two choices or else Id lose my mind. On a larger scale, Im considering leaving a career Ive pursued for over two decades and whether or not to add to our family. Such choices are par for the course as we grow and enter new phases in our lives.

But more significantly, Ive been thinking about the right to choose in the debate over abortion, which is not only threatened under the Trump administration, but also often misunderstood. The nuances that can go into making a choice to end a pregnancy are often unseen, unspoken, and never casual.

Unfortunately, my husband and I were faced with this choice. Twice. We terminated two very wanted pregnancies. To put it bluntly, Ive had two abortions.

And as our government tries to strip us of our reproductive rights, I am reminded how lucky I am to have the financial means and to live in a state where laws didnt prevent me from the choices I made. My abortions left me heartbroken, changed, and grief-strickenthat is indisputable. But everyone should be granted those choices. Those are choices Id still make today.

. . .

Itd be easy to peg me as your typical pro-choice advocate. I grew up in a liberal household. Feminism was at the core of my progressive private Los Angeles high school education. I went to a super hippie-dippy college where grades were for eggs, not people. But while I was taught to think critically about various perspectives, I was primarily surrounded by politically and socially like-minded individuals. To be honest, I never questioned whether I was pro-choice. I just was.

Photo via World Cant Wait/Flickr (CC-BY)

And then I visited a Body Worlds exhibit. This particular show featured skeletal muscles, nervous systems, and healthy and diseased organs to demonstrate the complexity of the human body. It also included a wall of 42 embryo and fetuses preserved in a glass case.

These embryos and fetuses were humanized by Body Worlds. I saw their form and I saw their potential. I saw them as life. (Not so dissimilarly as I saw the meat that I no longer ate when I became a vegetarian 10 years prior.) I remember very clearly, standing over a nine-week embryo in a glass case thinking that I believed in choice, but couldnt imagine making such a choice.

Fast forward 10 years.

I became pregnant in the summer of 2011. In September, I went in for the routine 13-week NT scan, the ultrasound that assesses your babys risk of having chromosomal abnormalities. That day, we found out that our babys nuchal fold thickness was outside of the normal range.

We sat with the genetic counselor as we gave our histories (nothing outside of the ordinary) and was given a primer on statistics and chromosomes and karyotypes and various horrifying conditions. At that point, we still didnt know exactly what it all meant for our child.

As we drove home, my husband, through his stifled tears, said to me, We cant think of it as a baby. I remember feeling aggressively defensive at my husbands reality. I had stared at the doctors screen and saw a body. I had stared at my belly and saw it swollen. Of course, it was a baby. That was never a question for me.

Test results confirmed that our baby had a significant chance of having some kind of severe abnormality that could be fatal or would likely cause him to suffer. We consulted doctors, got second opinions, and endured more testing. We were candidly, though not casually, advised by doctors to terminate and try again. And at 14 weeks, thats what we did. We made our choice.

I grieved, I processed, I sat on the couch in therapy and tried to find meaning in my experience. I planted a letter in an olive tree that I had written to our son, explaining to him why we made our decision, and that it was ultimately a decision made out of love.

I became pregnant again, at the beginning of 2012. This babys due date was exactly one year after we terminated the previous pregnancy. I found solace in that kind of synchronicity.

But of course, when I went to my routine 13-week NT scan, I was still anxious.

As I lay on the exam bed, facing a flatscreen monitor with just my name and my estimated due date, the technician asked me, Would you like me to turn the monitor off after you confirm the information is correct?

She was asking if I wanted to see my baby. Without hesitation, I told her to leave it on. I did not take my eyes off him. Here was my baby alive and living inside of me.

Soon, though, my husband and I would be faced with the same godawful, painful decision that we had made just months before.

This time around, my babys NT scan showed that his nuchal fold thickness measured twice the normal size, putting his life at even more risk than our first. My husband and I searched for a medical explanation or any scientific data that could give us an understanding as to why this happened to us not once, but twice. I scoured medical journal articles and reached what felt like the end of the internet looking for affirmations that I could carry my baby to term and not feel like I was putting my child at a significantly abnormal great risk by bringing him into the world.

We sat with the facts, the data, the expert opinions as well as second and third and fourth opinions. I had a CVS, a microarray, a full counsel on recessive testing. We had ultrasounds with specialists at both Cedars-Sinai and UCLA. We reached out to various genetic and prenatal and neonatal specialists. We made it our job to find an answer.

Despite the extensive research on my pregnancies and all of the testing, every doctor we saw was at a loss to explain why this developed with our babies twice and couldnt come up with anything beyond compassionately telling us it was two strokes of bad luck.

We made our choice. Again.

. . .

I think about what our story would have looked like under different circumstances. In another state. With abortion restrictions. With fewer means. Fewer resources. What that trajectory could have looked like in a parallel universe. And it makes me realize that while others might not agree with our choiceand I certainly can understand why some do notit was our choice to make, not our governments. It was philosophical, it was personal, and it was ours.

The Oklahoma House of Representatives passed a billin March that would ban all abortions based on genetic abnormalities. In other words, Oklahoma legislators believe that the agonizing choice that my husband and I made as a couple, both times, should have been theirs to make. Theyd get to make this choice for us even though they would do nothing to support the aftermath of that decision: setting aside funding for his medical care, holding our hands while he underwent a lifetime of treatments, alleviating our pain if he died not long after birth.

In Kentucky, there is only one abortion clinic left in the state. One in 40,400 square miles, and the governor just tried to close it. In that scenario, I think about the big-picture trajectory again: If my husband and I lived in Kentucky and we didnt have a car or have the funds to get to the closest clinic and subsequently had a child with severe and costly life threatening medical issuesa child whom may or may not have been even able to survive after being bornwhere would we all be now?

But in what could be the most damaging legislation given my situation, the Texas Senate just passed two obscenely restrictive bills: One outlawing dilation and evacuation (D&E) procedures, the safest and most effective abortion procedure for women in their second trimester and what doctors used to terminate my second pregnancy; and another called the wrongful birth bill that would make it legally OK for doctors to lie to their patients about fetal abnormalities so they dont get an abortion. Yes, doctors could make the choice to withhold my babys health issues from my husband and me, while we went on in ignorance, unable to have a choice in the future of our family.

The list of laws and states and circumstances that hinder choice goes on and on.

Photo via Shutterstock

While it may seem like what the Republican Party wants to do first and foremost with such restrictive legislation is prevent women from getting abortions, that motive is only secondary. Many studies have shown that women arent going to stop choosing to have abortions under strict lawstheyll find other, unsafe means to terminate their pregnancies that could put their own lives in danger. At its core, these laws are about controlling women and perpetuating feelings of shame and guilt for making choices over their own bodies.

Women have long lived with the burdens of shame; nevertheless, we have persisted. We do not shut down after making the choice to have an abortion. We do not go through with the procedureand never feel again. I have never felt so much pain, anger, sadness, grief, and confusion as I did after choosing to end my pregnancies.

Worse than the pain I felt in their absence, though, would have been not getting to make that choice at all. And to clarify: I understand why others would not make the same choice. But being forced into a life based on a doctors whim or a legislators personal ideology, being robbed of making the best personal choice for my family, would have been a pain I could not endure.

. . .

After that 13-week appointment, I decided to make the most of each day with my son while he was still in my body. We went to the beach. I showed him the ocean and the sand. We ate Indian food, Italian food, Mexican food, Mediterranean food. I read to him. I talked to him. I sang to him. I wrote him letters daily. We listened to a lot of Florence and the Machine. I explained everything that was happening to us as best as I could, as we went into each ultrasound appointment.

After considering and reconsidering all of the information we had collected over five weeks, we made the decision to go in for a D&E the day before my 35th birthday. He was 18 weeks. I woke up on my birthday longing for him and missing him terribly.

While my husband and I grieved together, I felt oddly alone in my experience. Simply put, there was a literal voidinside of me. Unlike my husband, I had pregnancy weight gain and pain and cramping and bleeding and hormonal mood swings that were constant visceral reminders of my baby whose life we chose to end. And so I took the pain pills prescribed with wine every night as I watched countless episodes of TLCsWhat Not to Wear to escape all the pain that was too hard to feel.

Because he was a baby, my baby, we had him cremated. Until we came up with the right spot to place his ashes, I carried him around with me. Some might think it weird or dark or sick, but I couldnt fathom leaving him home alone, and so he came with me in my purse to my appointments, my errands, and my work. We eventually found his spot.

My husband and I eventually tried again seven months later. I quickly became pregnant and gave birth to our son in August 2013.

I would be lying if I said I did not often see his two brothers when I look at him. All three are part of my fabricour son is here because of them. And one day, I plan on telling him about his brothers and our journey. A journey and a family we wouldnt have without choice.