#otp: I love you long after you’re gone
Note
33 with remus in the otp dialogue prompt pleaaaaaaaase ><
33. “I don’t want them. I want you.”
.
Remus Lupin was usually quite a dignified drunk.
It was rare for him to get to a state where he embarrassed himself, even when he pushed his limits to blackout conditions. He, by some grace that James and Sirius envies, always managed to keep himself together quite well.
Until tonight, it seemed.
“Let’s go.”
“Darling, we can’t go.”
“They won’t notice.”
“Remus, it’s our wedding. I think they will notice.”
The day had been perfect down to every single small detail and you were blessed enough to share it with your closest friends and family. It was a small event, nothing glamorous or grand because that didn’t match either of your styles. It was a simple ceremony with a reception just for you to let loose and enjoy the love you shared with the people you cared about most.
It had hit just past eleven when Remus had stumbled over to you, yelling ‘my wife’ comically loud before attaching himself to you and he had yet to let go.
He had wrapped his arms around you, his sleeves rolled to his elbows and his blazer lost after his third drink. His head was nuzzled into the crook of your neck, sloppy kisses placed against your skin and drunken serenades made as he sang along with whatever music that was playing through the speakers. The summer night air was thick and sweet and made your cheeks glow, and fuck, Remus had never been more in love.
“You look so pretty, m’love,” he grumbled against your skin, his fingers fiddling with the small details of your dress. It was simple and white and it was truly nothing special, but you looked like a goddess in it to him.
“You’re not so bad yourself, Mr Lupin,” you teased lightly, your hand coming up to tangle themselves in his messy, sandy-brown hair. Whatever product Sirius had put in it at the start of the day was long gone and completely helpless now.
“Good because I plan on fucking you, Mrs Lupin,” Remus retorted bluntly.
You snorted. “Is that so?”
“Don’t laugh, I am being deadly serious,” he whined softly and his hands squeezed your waist a little tighter. “I wanna fuck my wife.”
“We have guests to entertain, love,” you said to him, though you were unable to bite back the smile on your face every time he used the word wife. “They need us down here.”
“I don’t care what they need,” he muttered.
You tried to hold back your giggles as his nose brushed against a slightly sensitive spot. “Don’t you wanna dance and celebrate with your friends?”
“I don’t want them. I want you,” Remus said to you before he lifted his head, twirling you around so you could take in his flushed cheeks and hooded eyes. “I wanna fuck you in this dress.”
You couldn’t help but smirk. “Yeah?”
“Mhmm,” he nodded his head, his hands bunching the material of your dress in tight fists. “Been thinking about it since I saw you walk down the aisle in it.”
“That’s a long time,” you teased.
“Then you know how desperate I am,” Remus countered.
“Half an hour more then we’ll sneak off, okay?” you compromised, holding out your pinky to him.
Remus pouted but relented as he linked his pinky with yours. “Thirty minutes and not a second more.”
“Always a man of virtue, Mr Lupin.”
“Virtue is the last thing on my mind when it comes to you, Mrs Lupin.”
.
#remus lupin#marauders#harry potter#hp#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x you#remus lupin x y/n#remus lupin fic#remus lupin oneshot#marauders x reader#marauders x you#marauders x y/n#marauders fic#marauders oneshot#harry potter x reader#harry potter x you#harry potter x y/n#harry potter fic#harry potter oneshot#hp x reader#hp x you#hp x y/n#hp fic#hp one shot
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This is not as positive as you think it is
It’s still Rosh Hashanah, and I’m going to post part of those 17 essays I swore I would never write. Starting off the year as I mean to go on? Or something.
I originally had this as the first thing on my list of essays that I would never write but would absolutely get me kicked out of Star Wars fandom but I am tired and cranky and I am going to explain why tagging fics where the Jedi Order reform and start allowing attachment as *Jedi Positive* piss me off so much.
First, let me make this clear. If you hate the Jedi Order and want to write those, go ahead. If you have issues with the Jedi and want to write those fics, go ahead. Nobody is stopping you. What I’m asking instead is to stop tagging them Pro-Jedi or Jedi positive. Use Jedi critical! Or not Jedi friendly! Please use those tags instead! Yes even if you think its Pro-Jedi! If you are saying that the Order needs to reform to be *good* then it is not Jedi friendly!
I mean, look, if you are writing those things then I have issues with the way you’re interrogating the text and will think that you’re *wrong* and also that you’re using some super problematic (and from my point of view, anti-semitic) tropes but if my 21+ years in fandom have taught me anything its that you are never going to get anyone to agree on anything, but tagging will at least allow us to have our own spaces? Like, you wouldn’t have gone into a [pairing of your choice] positive archive and post a fic where [pairing] break up because the one who isn’t your blorbo is abusive so your blorbo runs to *YOUR* OTP, because that wouldn’t fit the theme of the archive! So if your fic is saying that the old rules for the prequel Jedi are bad and need to be changed to be good, don’t put it with Jedi positive content!
So first. Attachment. Other people have talked about it better than I have, but have some links about what attachment means in the GFFA and no it really does not mean love.
(Listen I am not going to bother to rewrite the meta when Lumi has already done the work for me)
https://gffa.tumblr.com/post/695309005156925440/this-is-every-instance-where-the-jedi-talk-about/amp
https://gffa.tumblr.com/post/680367423839485952/this-is-every-time-i-have-ever-seen-george-lucas
https://gffa.tumblr.com/post/685958601260646400/hi-totally-okay-this-ask-was-very-obviously-sent
https://gffa.tumblr.com/post/685727448042733568
https://gffa.tumblr.com/post/682990707642892288/i-never-understand-what-people-mean-when-they-say
…. Honestly just have the entire attachment tag ok:
https://gffa.tumblr.com/tagged/attachment
So. Having done your reading, for the purposes of the GFFA, attachment is greed/possession and *very very bad* for psychic space monks. It is not a thing that the Jedi can just suddenly *allow*. Letting Jedi start allowing attachments, which is the big thing I start seeing whenever people start *reforming* the Jedi is, to me, a Jew who lives in the US South, the equivalent of Jews for Jesus.
Whoa, TSB, you say. You’re going too far.
Not really. Let’s go with a central belief of Judaism. The messiah has not come, Jesus is not the messiah. For the Jedi, attachment is not allowed is one of the central core beliefs. So saying that the way the Jedi need to reform by changing one of their core beliefs hits me like the person who told me “oh honey, we don’t care how you worship, as long as you accept Christ” did. (Right after I was introduced as being Jewish!) If you’re changing the *core* of who the Jedi are, you’re making them no longer Jedi. It’s not just changing one thing, it’s changing *everything.*
And, while the Jedi are much more Buddhist then they are Jewish, they still hit me very much in my Jewish feels. Gee, I wonder *why* I could possibly resonate with a minority religious group who were hunted down and murdered and who get accused of a bunch of anti-semitic tropes including baby stealing and secretly running the government???? There are no parallels, clearly.
So look. Every single time I get hit with a fic that’s tagged Pro-Jedi and then its “we changed our rules about attachment and that stopped us from being murdered” what I hear is “the Jews accepted Jesus so we avoided pogroms/The Holocaust.” Or, as another friend pointed out "the Sikhs cut their hair, converted, and so the Mughal Empire let them live.”
Obviously I don’t speak for every Jew, and I certainly don’t speak for any Sikhs, so not everyone is going to agree with my take. But there are people that relate to Jedi and there is a reason why people are uncomfortable with Jedi reform and allowing attachment.
But if you’re going to write fic about the Prequel Jedi and have them reform, before you tag it pro-Jedi or Jedi-Positive, please consider if “well they have to change who they are to be good” is as positive as you think it is. Tags help people curate their fannish experience. I very much follow the philosophies of YKINMKATO and don’t like, don’t read. The backbutton is my friend! But when I think I’m getting positive fic and then it isn’t? That sucks. Please tag accurately.
…. And well, since I’ve broken my rule about not writing these essays I guess look forward to my future essays of “No the Jedi are not Catholic” and “Actually they don’t have any political power” and “please stop judging the Jedi Order by some middle grade books” and finally “Galidraan was not the Jedi’s fault oh my god Jango shot first”
Shana tova, everyone. Let’s try to do better this year.
#pro-Jedi#Stop insisting the Jedi need to reform and tagging it pro-Jedi simultaneously#fandom salt#Write whatever you want but maybe think about it
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🌸 TAG YOU’RE IT! Name your Top 5 OTP created by your fellow simmers. Spread the love and happy simming! 🌸
oh my god oh my lord oh my good jesus you asked the WRONG PERSON LET'S GO
ahem hem hem hem hemm hemhem
these are not in numerical order i lose my mind abt these ships on the daily
mr. and mrs. drake from @cinamun's amazing "things fall apart" series (we remember the "/indya" tag days ok!!) the love i have for miss indya williams will never die and i swear i feel like i know her like she's a real person at this point, but i have never been more spellbound by a character's growth and development than the kind of writing i see in darren drake okay. these two have been through it, have talked and not talked, have loved and fought, and have gone through hell to be together. never have i wanted two lil pixel people to be happy more than i want them to have a good life with their babies. if that's not love, i don't know what is. (plus the way they abuse that wickedwhims i mean cmon)
jet lem-43 and kana lothario from @gothoffspring's lem-43 legacy! their courtship was so Soft, it literally makes my teeth rot and my heart ache. every touch is so gentle and full of love, they make poses seem as though they were made for these two. i am absolutely gnawing at the walls to see their babies because i know those lil bundles of pixel chub will be precious
@hauntedtrait's mortimer and bella goth are genuinely some of my favorite iterations of my favorite couple, and not just because fangs is my soulmate ok. they're able to add a prose and a warmth to the love between these two that maintains their sensuality while really building a believable foundation of the two's bond, and i'm a big sucker for a devoted morty and a beautiful and kind and mysterious bella ;u;
okay we all know that i'm livin' it up with my husband randy in his motel, and we are of course the top couple here-- pff, if you didn't think i wouldn't be in here losing my mind over the future mr and mrs. finch from @rebouks's incredible epic "somnium", then you don't know me. after my life experiences, i love to see a couple stay strong through hardship: to see them fight and struggle to communicate, and to see them overcome the things that challenge them to come together stronger and with more understanding of one another. courtney is one of the best female characters i have read on simblr in a long time, and it's only fitting that she's earned the love, trust, and protection of one of my favorite good boys <3
and you know, it's a shame i didn't know about them before recently, but @citylighten's sal and eve have a dialogue between them that is honestly so refreshing and so real that i find myself wanting to fcking hang out with them irl. seeing the ways they've grown together, seeing the ways that eve has brought out the softer side of sal and the ways in which sal has boosted eve's confidence in herself, outside of his love for her, for her sake... i just, how could you not love a couple that is so fundamentally invested in their relationship like i am just. besotted.
and personally, the sexual energy between leah morfang and viktor in @aniraklova's amazing universes transcends their outfits and all aesthetics. i just love seein' them together, i really do.
this isn't even all of them i mean good lord. @goodnightlittlewing's henry and bonnie were so adorable that i wanted to travel all over the sim world with them, and @elmleif's cillian and saoirse make me smile every time i see them. hell, i'm almost angry i can't think of all the couples i absolutely adore i'm gonna edit this so much dkfhsdk
oh my god. the ogs. the originals. you know my top otp of ALL TIME.
gael mcmahon and ME his baby assy @buglaur the true otp
#;ask#thank you so much for asking honey omg ;o;#i saw your cheeky lil mention of julien btw heheheheeee ;)
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She Does Not Feel The Same
Fandom : Boruto : Naruto Next Generations
Relationship : Boruto x Sarada
My Year of the OTP 2023 contribution for the prompt : (seemingly) unrequited love.
I’m sorry for the mistakes, English is not my native language. I hope you like it.
Summary : Boruto put his hand on his chest. He would have never thought he would suffer so much by imagining her with someone else. If only things were different. If only Sarada could love him as much as he loved her. But he knew that it was impossible.
Disclaimer : Naruto and Boruto : Naruto Next Generations belong to Masashi Kishimoto, Ukyo Kodachi and Mikio Ikemoto.
@yearoftheotpevent
AO3 / FF.NET
Team 7 was back in Konoha after a two-day mission. Mitsuki and Sarada made their way home, while Boruto and Kawaki did the same. Kawaki took a few steps before realizing that Boruto was not following him. He turned around and saw Boruto staring at Sarada. It was not the first time Kawaki noticed the way he looked at her. Every time she walked into a room, Boruto's face lit up. Every time she spoke to him, he smiled. He would have had to be blind not to see that Boruto was in love with Sarada for years.
Once Sarada disappeared around the corner, Boruto joined Kawaki. He frowned when he saw him staring at him.
“What ?” Boruto asked.
“Can I ask you a question ?”
Boruto nodded.
“When are you going to tell her what you feel ?”
“What are you talking about ?”
Boruto started walking and Kawaki followed him.
“You know very well what I'm talking about. When are you going to tell Sarada that you love her ?”
“You're talking nonsense.”
“Stop lying. I saw that you were in love with her from the first day I met you. And I know you inside out. I know that even after all these years, your feelings have not changed.”
Boruto stopped walking. He looked at Kawaki and smiled sadly at him.
“It doesn't matter. Sarada doesn't feel the same way I do, so forget it.”
Kawaki did not answer. He knew there was no point in continuing this conversation. He had never met somebody as stubborn as Boruto and when he made a decision, he never went back on it. Even if it hurt him. He only hoped Boruto would open his eyes and would change his mind before it was too late and he lost Sarada for good. After all the hardships he had been through because of Momoshiki and the Otsutsuki, he deserved to be happy.
******
Kawaki, Boruto, Chocho and Sarada were at the Thunder Burger. The Uzumaki brothers had met Sarada and Chocho by chance on their way to the Thunder Burger and decided to go together.
Several weeks had passed since the conversation between Boruto and Kawaki and since then neither of them had talked about it again. Boruto and Kawaki were about to eat their second burger, while Chocho had turned to look in the queue where Sarada had gone to get drinks.
“What is she doing ?” Chocho said. “It's been hours since Sarada left to get the drinks.”
Kawaki rolled his eyes. It had barely been two minutes. He had a quick look at the queue and he saw what was delaying Sarada. She was talking to one of the waiters. It was Shun. By dint of going to the Thunder Burger with Boruto, Kawaki had come to know all of the employees. Shun was a pretty nice boy, but Kawaki had always found him uninteresting.
Kawaki frowned when he saw Shun's flirty smile and Sarada's blush. He did not see any good coming of all this for Boruto. Sarada returned to their table with the drinks. She put them on the table and sat down next to Chocho.
“What took you so long ?” Chocho asked.
Sarada’s cheeks turned redder.
“Shun asked me to go out with him tomorrow evening.”
Boruto's hand shook. He hid it under the table, hoping no one would notice. Chocho quickly turned her head towards Shun. Her eyes shone and a huge smile lit up her face, like every time she heard about the beginning of a love story.
“What did you answer him ?” She asked. “Did you accept ?”
“Not yet. I don't know if that's a good idea.” Sarada answered.
She looked shyly at Boruto.
“What do you think ?”
Boruto smiled at her.
“You should agree. Shun is a good guy.”
“Maybe you're right.”
Sarada looked down. Kawaki opened his eyes wide. Sarada looked disappointed. As if she was hoping for another answer from Boruto. Chocho took Sarada's hand and forced her to stand up.
“You have to accept. Then we'll go shopping to find you an outfit.”
Sarada had no time to protest. Chocho took her away to meet Shun. Kawaki looked at Boruto. Being next to him, he saw him clench his fist under the table.
“Shut up,” Boruto said.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“She's my friend, I'm happy for her.”
“If you say so.”
If a look could kill, Kawaki would already be dead. If only that idiot could realize that this love was mutual, Kawaki thought. If he waited any longer, it would soon be too late.
******
The next evening, Boruto was in his bedroom playing video games. At the end of the third lost game, he threw his joystick on the floor. Video games had always changed his mind, but this time he could not concentrate. He only thought of Sarada. He stood up and walked to the window. She was on a date with Shun by now. Boruto did not lie to her, Shun was really a good guy. He had known him for years and he knew he would treat her well. But yet, Boruto could not help thinking that Sarada should be with him, not Shun or anyone else. He put his hand on his chest. He would have never thought he would suffer so much by imagining her with someone else. If only things were different. If only Sarada could love him as much as he loved her. But he knew that it was impossible. He heard someone knock on his door.
“Come in !” He said.
The door opened and Kawaki entered. Boruto sighed. He really was not in the mood to hear his opinion on his feelings for Sarada.
“What do you want ?”
“I came to see how you were doing.”
Boruto said nothing and looked out the window. Kawaki closed the door and approached him.
“Sarada must be home by now.”
Boruto felt anger growing inside him. He violently grabbed Kawaki's jacket and pulled him towards him.
“Why are you doing this ?”
“To make you react.”
He jerked free from Boruto's grip.
“Why do you persist to not talk to her. This situation is hurting you.”
“Even if I tell her that I love her, she doesn't feel the same way I do. By doing that, I might lose her and that I will not stand it.”
“Even if things don't work out with Shun, one day there will be someone else and then you will lose her for good. Can you really stand to see her in someone else's arms ? To see her settle down with him ?”
Kawaki suddenly saw something clicked in Boruto's eyes. Without waiting, he opened the window and went out. Kawaki smiled. Boruto will soon get the happy ending he deserved.
******
Boruto jumped from roof to roof and landed on the tree in front of Sarada's window. The bedroom was lit, indicating that she had returned from her date. He took a deep breath to give himself courage. Kawaki was right, he had to talk to her. Even if losing her friendship would be unbearable for him, remaining in this uncertainty was worse. He jumped out onto the balcony and knocked on the window. Sarada opened the curtain. When she saw him, she opened the window and she stepped aside so he could enter.
“Boruto ? Is everything alright ?”
She closed the window behind him. He breathed slowly to calm down. Despite all the fights against Momoshiki, Kara and the Otsutsukis, telling Sarada how he felt seemed insurmountable.
“I came to see how you were and how your date went.”
“It was... good.”
Boruto was surprised when he heard her hesitation.
“You don't look sure.”
Sarada smiled slightly.
“Yes, that was good. But there will be no second date.”
“Why ?”
“It's just that I would have preferred to be with someone else.”
She looked down and blushed.
“I would have preferred to be with you.”
Boruto opened his eyes wide, wondering if he had heard correctly. He had to be wrong, there was no way she felt the same way he did. Yet, he could not help hoping.
“Sarada...”
“I know I shouldn't have said that. That I might ruin everything between us. But I can't stop thinking about it.”
She twiddled her hands, like she always did when she was nervous.
“I don't want to be with Shun or anyone else. It is with you that I want to be. It is you that I love. I know you don't feel the same way I do and by telling you my feelings, I'm terrified of losing you. But not saying anything hurts me even more. I love you Boruto.”
Boruto was not dreaming. Sarada loved him. Without thinking about what he was doing, he took her in his arms and kissed her. He wanted to pass on to her all the love he felt in this kiss, all that he had not managed to confess to her. Surprised at first, Sarada wrapped her arms around his neck and snuggled up to him. Nothing mattered around him except Sarada. He lost himself in that kiss. For the first time in a long time, he was finally happy.
The end
#YEAR OF THE OTP#Year of the OTP 2023#boruto: naruto next generation#borusara#boruto x sarada#boruto uzumaki#sarada uchiha#borusara fanfiction#fanfiction#My writing
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To Bad Decisions
Notes: aka the "I love you"-game-of-chicken story inspired by this otp ask game the other week! @wanderingaldecaldo here you go xD First I wanted this to be just light-hearted fluff and fun, but then the angst grabbed me and it got looong, hence to be continued under the readmore!
Cyberpunk 2077 drabble, Kerry Eurodyne x V, set a few months post-ending, rated M for the opening paragraph mostly XD
V struggles with putting his feelings into words, scared that Kerry might be catching on - or is he potentially struggling with the same thing? No, that can't be, right?
The first time V almost said it out loud would have been at one of the worst moments possible to do so: pinned down on their bed, on his stomach, Kerry fucking him so good his head was spinning, barely able to even think a coherent sentence.
“I - …” he gasped, but caught his breath just in time, closed his eyes, and buried his burning face in the heavenly cold pillow.
“You…?” Kerry purred into his ear, out of breath as well, and that alone almost sent him over the edge. He didn’t recall what he ended up saying, a jumbled mess of words and noises… but thankfully not the three originally on his mind.
It was silly, really. Firstly, that he struggled so much with just expressing what he felt, and secondly, trying to find the perfect moment to do so when such a thing would never exist. Or well, maybe perfect moments did exist, but he always only seemed to recognize them once they were gone. The morning after the yacht trip, when they’d woken up together in Vs bed, warm and safe and comfortable, just peacefully existing side by side… Kerry blinking at him through tousled hair, smiling softly… that had been a perfect moment, it would have felt right. But it also would have been way too soon. They’d known each other for how long, two weeks maybe? Three if he counted the whole mess surrounding the organization of the SAMURAI reunion, but that had been mostly Johnny doing the talking, not himself. At that time, V had still feared his feelings could have been just brought on by Johnny actually, and whatever kind of thing that had been going on between him and Kerry a long, long time ago… that with Johnny the butterflies and their connection would also disappear, sooner or later. That it was not right to lead Kerry on, should it eventually happen, no matter how much he’d already liked him on that one perfect morning, on that beach, on that balcony…
But then his feelings didn’t fade. Things were different now, but better than V could have ever dreamed of. Kerry made him happy in a way he hadn’t deemed possible anymore, after all that had happened, after so many past disappointments. And yet, or maybe because of that, he couldn’t silence the nagging voice in his head – his own this time – that for whatever absurd reason Kerry didn’t feel the same. That by saying what he felt out loud, he’d ruin everything, again, for both of them.
“Remind me, what’s the plan for today again?” Kerry yawned as they sat in the kitchen the next morning, the scent of freshly brewed coffee and scrambled eggs still hanging in the air.
“That one client I told you about… Cancelled last minute because “something important” came up. Again,” V muttered, scrolling through the sheer never-ending list of appointments on his holo.
Kerry scoffed.
“Told ya. It’s never gonna happen. This is what, the fourth time he’s postponed?”
“Guess you’re always right after all,” V teased and got up to put their empty plates and mugs in the dishwasher.
“’Course I am,” Kerry said; after a short pause he added “But it’s his loss, not yours.”
“True,” V said, “And it also means I’ll have an hour or two of spare time to fill around three. Could swing by the studio, if you want?”
He didn’t reply for a few moments, causing V to look up from the dishwasher. Kerry sat leaned on the counter, his chin resting on his hand, and he stared at him with an expression he couldn’t quite figure out.
“I… would love that,” he then said with a smile, but for a split-second V thought he was going to say something else, his heart beating harder and faster instantly.
“Bring some coffee and bagels maybe?” Kerry added with a wink and V laughed.
“Sure thing.”
Maybe it was not even necessary to say anything out loud. Never touch a running system. Why accidentally ruin something that was working out so well, against all odds? Living with Kerry felt so easy, so natural. Of course, it wasn’t always smooth sailing. They’d had their struggles and fights over the silliest and also the most serious things. But there was never malice, and they were constantly working on their communication, stating their needs, their wishes, and getting to know each other’s boundaries. Kerry was a lot more in touch with his emotions and feelings than V though. Maybe that was something that just came naturally with age and life experience. Or it was just how he’d always been like, not afraid to state his mind. V had always struggled with showing or even allowing feelings. Surprisingly, Kerry was still just as good as him, maybe even better, at masking his real intentions around people whom they did not concern – be it managers, medias, even fans and the like. A long-honed craft for sure, his badass, laidback rockerboy persona, and essential to surviving in the corporate-run world the music industry was. V knew from his own experience only too well that everything you said, every hint of weakness you showed, would be exploited and used against you mercilessly and shamelessly – for money, for power, for fame.
When they were alone though, or around their closest friends, Kerry was so much softer around the edges… carried his heart on his sleeve, really. Or so V had thought.
“Alright, gotta bounce,” V yelled, grabbing his sunglasses from the counter before rushing to lean over the sofa’s backrest to give Kerry a quick peck on the cheek, “I - …”
Fuck.
“I… will give you a call if anything unexpected comes up.”
Kerry looked up from his guitar, one eyebrow slightly raised.
“Alright, come back safe,” he then said, reaching up to grab his collar and pull him back in for a proper kiss.
“’Cause you know, I…” he paused as their lips parted, again causing V’s breath to hitch for a moment, “I still need you.”
He smiled that heart-melting smile he was so good at, and V was half-tempted to call the client and tell her he’d run late, or just cancel altogether. Reluctantly he pulled away and walked out the door.
In the elevator he kept wondering though if “I still need you” was really what Kerry had been meaning to say.
Over the course of the following week, V kept noticing more and more of these little moments, caught himself almost slipping up a lot more often. At first he wondered if Kerry was as aware of it as himself. So many “I… hope you’ll have a good day”s, “I – will miss you”s, “I… I’ll talk to you later”s couldn’t just be flying past him. The longer it continued on, the more he wondered if maybe, just maybe… Kerry was playing along on purpose? Or was he also avoiding just to say the words, out of fear to mess things up between them? He couldn’t quite believe either option. Maybe he just ignored it, to not make it even weirder, or maybe it was not as obvious as V thought.
By the end of the week, V asked himself, did it actually matter? That they said it, if and when they said it, who’d be the one to say it first, if at all? Maybe he was overthinking it. He knew he loved Kerry, more than he’d loved anyone before. And he did feel loved by him just as much. Sure, it would be nice to hear it out loud, now and then, but maybe actions did speak louder than words. Little gestures, touches, just being near each other, picking the other up when he was feeling down, being encouraging, or sometimes also just silly. Making commitments, promises, and keeping them. Daring to plan for a future neither of them had thought they’d get, together. It was not important to say it when they lived it, is what V decided for himself eventually. Why ruin something, maybe not perfect, but pretty fucking close to it, with a bunch of words so loaded with bad memories and regrets for both of them?
“I… have an itch for new ink,” Kerry said one night at the villa, where they regularly hid away from the noise and the stress of the city for a few days. They had settled down on the sofa together, Kerry lying on his back, his head on V’s lap, Nibbles dozing by his feet. V was running his fingers through Kerry’s hair absentmindedly as they’d been watching a new show on TV. It didn’t turn out to be as good as they’d hoped for though, so at this point it had devolved into background noise to their conversation.
“Where? And what?” V asked, and Kerry gestured across the left side of his chest.
“To compliment the one on the right, kinda,” he said, “But I’m not sure if I’d wanna to go for a traditional design, too, or something else.”
“Well, you have a traditional and a neotraditional sleeve each,” V said, “Could go with something neo for that side?”
Kerry hummed.
“Good point…” he said, “Ooor… something a bit smaller first maybe? After all, I have some space left here.”
He lifted his left arm, twisted his wrist around.
“But I’m even more clueless about that. I guess it’s really just an itch still that might pass…”
“I know the feeling,” V chuckled. After a short pause he asked, “Any tats that you ever regretted getting?”
“Actually… no,” Kerry said surprisingly fast, “I’ve lived long enough to collect all sorts of regrets, but that’s thankfully none of them. Although, this part here…” – he pointed to the crook of his left arm – “That was a fucking bitch to endure. No machine, the ink literally hammered in by hand, for hours. The. Fucking. Worst.”
V chuckled.
“It’s fucking preem-looking though,” he said.
“Beauty knows no pain or what?” Kerry snorted.
“No, not that even,” V said, “More like… it’s worth it to endure the pain sometimes, for the outcome?”
Kerry hummed approvingly, smiling up at V.
“That’s pretty much the tradition. One of the many at least, a coming-of-age ritual. You’re old enough to endure this pain, you’re old enough to endure all other pain life might be throwing at ya at a certain point.”
“I keep learning new things with you,” V smiled.
Kerry shuffled around, then sat up and stretched before scooching a little closer to V again, putting his left arm around him. V’s heart did a silly little bounce in his chest, causing the voice in his head (that sometimes still eerily sounded like Johnny) to say, “What are you, twelve?”. But simultaneously he hoped these little things his body did would never stop happening, no matter how many months… no, years, they’d be getting together. Positive thinking, he needed to remind himself.
“Okay, that was my answer to the regrets-game for today,” Kerry said, “Your turn: what’s the decision you’ve made that you regret the most, looking back?”
“Shit… lemme think a moment,” V sighed, slumping against the backrest and into Kerry’s embrace.
A few things came to mind immediately. Not leaving his abusive home sooner, as a teen… but then he might not have ever met Jackie. Everything would have gone down completely different. Letting Jenkins rope him into working for Arasaka, after thinking he’d left that world behind for good? But he’d be so much more clueless, maybe even careless about how to survive in this corporate-controlled world. He’d be a lot worse at what he was doing now… if he’d ever even gotten this far without what he learned during his time at Counterintel. Maybe one of his many failed past relationships – but he could think of at least one reason for each of them that had let him grow as a person or learn something integral about what he wanted and needed in a long-term partner. The closest he came to almost picking as his biggest regret so far was not taking Evelyn’s offer of screwing over Dex – but at the time there was no way for him to have known how this would all play out. In hindsight, Evelyn hadn’t been telling him the full truth, so his intuition hadn’t failed him completely. If he could change one thing, he would have wished for Jackie not to die that day. But by now he had accepted that it had never been in his power, it hadn’t been his fault… a hard thing to unlearn, blaming himself. Had Jackie not died though – and for a moment he hated himself for the thought – the Relic would have gone to Brigitte. Had Jackie not got hit by that bullet, V’d likely never heard of Johnny Silverhand or SAMURAI besides the occasional radio show…
“Can I be super cringe for a moment?” he eventually asked, turning his head to a snickering Kerry.
“You’ve let me get away with so much cringe already, only fair if I return the favor,” he said.
V took a deep breath, looking down on his hands for a moment, circling his personal link port with his right thumb. Then he blinked back up at Kerry.
“I don’t regret any of my decisions, even the bad ones,” he said, “Because if the summary of all my bad decision means I’m ending up here with you, in this moment… I’d gladly make all the same mistakes again.”
Kerry stared at him, not wide-eyed or anything, but intensely. The tiniest noise escaped his mouth, less than a sigh, but he said nothing. Then, very slowly, his lips curled into a smile. V half expected a snarky remark, but instead Kerry pulled him a little closer and with his free hand took V’s, calloused fingers intertwining with his. He looked away for a moment, and V tried to read his expression, scanning for any hints to give him at least an idea of what was going through his head, if he’d overstepped, said something wrong…
“It’s weird…” Kerry then quietly said, looking at him again, eyes glistening slightly, almost sad, but not quite, “… how you keep managing to put into words what I can’t seem to. God knows I’ve fucked up along the way, over and over again. But if any of that hadn’t happened, who knows if we’d ever even met.”
V smiled, sighing with relief. Kerry leaned over, resting his head on V’s shoulder.
“I know, it’s still scary to think of the future, to plan ahead too far,” he said quietly, “But no matter what happens tomorrow, or in a week, a month, a year… I hope you know that you’re gonna be stuck with me. I… hope you know that… that I love you.”
V couldn’t suppress a gasp, to his own surprise. Kerry still held his hand, his other arm loosely around his waist, when he shifted again to see his face. He looked concerned almost, questioning, worried, but trying to keep up his smile, lips shaking a little. He sat up a bit further, inching away just slightly, and V realized how he’d just been staring at him in shock for the last few moments of silence.
“I… uh, I mean,” Kerry mumbled, voice almost turning frantic now, as if he’d also just realized what he’d said.
V’s hand shot up to grab Kerry’s face, to pull him back, to reassure him. Before he really knew what he was doing he pressed his lips on his, kissed him over and over again, held him close, did not ever want to let him go.
“I love you, too,” he gasped between urgent kisses, and simultaneously it was as if he was able to breathe freely again, for the first time in a long time, “So much. I love you so much.”
“Vince,” Kerry panted, and only with some mild force managed to get him to stop for a moment. V realized how much he was shaking first, and then that he was crying, for some reason. The last time he’d cried was the night he’d stumbled out of Arasaka Tower, more dead than alive. Shit, why now?
“It’s all good, you gonk,” Kerry said softly, cupping his face, wiping his tears away. The same way he’d done that awful, awful night.
“It’s all good,” Kerry repeated, then put his arms back around him, pulling him in, and they just sat there, holding each other, reassuring each other, gently swaying, for minutes that seemed to last hours, until V had calmed down again. Nibbles was quietly snoring, the TV babbling endlessly on low volume, and soft rain pattered against the large windows, Night City’s millions of lights a distant, colourful blur.
“Fuck, I was so scared for a moment that I’d ruined it all…” Kerry eventually said, and V laughed weakly, nose stuffy and throat still tight.
“You were scared? I was scared shitless to say it too soon, or in the wrong moment… I kept almost slipping up… just saying that out loud now, how stupid.”
“Well, you’re welcome then,” Kerry chuckled, “And I was wondering if I was imagining things or if you really just tried your hardest not to say it.”
“We’re both fucking gonks…” V concluded, and Kerry laughed. They slowly moved apart just enough to be able to look at the other again, still holding on.
“Perfect match then, hm?” Kerry smiled with his head slightly tilted, his gorgeous eyes glittering in the lights of the city, “Now we just have to start being less scared of making bad decisions.”
V smiled back at Kerry, vowing to make sure to tell him just how much he loved him at every opportunity from now on.
“Yes,” he said, “To bad decisions.”
“To bad decisions!”
#cyberpunk 2077#kerry eurodyne x v#cyberpunk 2077 fanfiction#cyberpunk 2077 fanfic#kerry eurodyne#male v cyberpunk#otp: to bad decisions#vincent ezaki#my writing#this story is basically just why I even decided on that ship name for them#it's also the steam achievement's name for completing Kerry's story but it also fits them together with their background so well I think#I dont remember when I've last written so much for just one character/ pairing as over the course of the last week#I'm having such a creative blast rn xD#just gotta gather the courage to start posting that V & Jackie thing that has like 5 chapters already >.>
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ship ask meme: Twin Peaks?
(good choice; need to start shifting into twin peaks more for the wonderfulxstrange exchange
otp: cooper/diane. they are everything to me, the mutual pining, the distance, the way cooper talks to her in the tapes, the way they interact in the return?!? simply obsessed.
favorite canon pairing: lucy/andy. they are just such a necessary contrast to literally everything. (also i’ve recently been thinking a lot about shelly/bobby. divorced co-parents that are still in love but can’t or won’t make it work :D )
worst pairing ever: it’s difficult to think of something i can’t get behind/find speculative narrative interest in some capacity. uhh… shelly/gordon as an actual long term relationship (i think gordon would be good for shelly in a one night stand situation, but as an actual relationship? both boring and squicky.)
guilty pleasure pairing: albert/cooper. i’m don’t actually feel guilty about it at all, but i do think it draws more on fandom tropes than what’s actually on screen. which in this case isn’t really a bad thing, a lot of the fic is so good and explores interesting things.
pairing that you want to see more: andy/dick tremayne; i just made this up right now but, yeah. i can be a big fan of hate sex. also josie/harry truman; i’m not super into what we see on screen but josie is almost so interesting, there’s so much untapped potential to explore josie’s interior and how she feels about everything but especially harry.
pairing that everyone likes but you’re like, lol no: i don’t know? i think when i was first reading fic for twin peaks i was surprised by how much audrey/cooper fic there was. and i’m not like, morally opposed to them crossing paths and getting together after audrey has idk… gone off and graduated from college but the idea is kinda boring to me. they’re actual canon relationship, and how it just kind of fizzles out, is one of my favorite things about the original show.
favorite non-romantic pair: shelly&norma!! the parallels with their bad taste in men! the cross-generational friendship!! aaahh! (i could also get behind this romantically in the AU where shelly doesn’t stay at the RR, but i don’t really read romance into their on screen dynamic)
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Lee & Ben - vacation 🌴🍹🍍
((OTP Asks))
@marydublinauthor 🌸
Just Chill
Ben awoke feeling well-rested—the first sign that something was off. As his eyes fluttered open, the brightness in the room was the second sign.
Drawing a deep breath, he rolled over in the folds of Lee’s scarf, which had become his usual sleeping spot. His bleary vision struggled to make sense of the digital clock on the nightstand.
He sat bolt upright when the time came into focus. 12:37 PM.
Cursing, Ben looked from his spacious pillow to the rumpled sheets on the other side of the mattress. Lee was nowhere to be seen. Had he gone out for breakfast? It was afternoon, so why wasn’t he back? Had something happened? Was he dead?
“Lee?” Ben’s voice wobbled, weak from sleep. He shook life into his wings and flitted into the air. “Lee!”
As he flew into the common area of the suite, his next cry was cut short. Lee was lounging on the sofa, still in pajamas, twisting around to see Ben.
“Relax,” Lee said, looking at Ben like he was crazy. “What’s wrong?”
All the breath left Ben’s lungs in a heavy sigh. “_What’s wrong_?” He might have punched Lee’s nose if he weren’t so relieved. “Why didn’t you wake me?”
“You’re always up first. Figured I’d let you sleep in.”
Frowning, Ben glanced between Lee and the wide-screen television, which was playing some action movie. Lee was just… sitting there. Watching TV. In the middle of the day.
Ben glanced at the tall windows, drinking in the Strip in full daylight. He winced at a stab of guilt. He’d kept Lee waiting. “I’m sorry,” Ben said. “We should have been out there hours ago.”
“The word ‘should’ isn’t allowed for the next few days.” A little smirk tugged at the corner of Lee’s mouth—he knew precisely how confused Ben was. “We’re on vacation,” he announced.
Ben gaped. “We�� What? When did we decide that?”
“Well, you were asleep during the vote, so I made an executive decision.” Lee’s smile broadened as he beckoned Ben to the sofa. “Like I said, you never sleep in. So I say we need a breather. Right?”
“B-but…” Ben inched closer. “You always go on about how much you love Vegas! There’s so many easy marks here. Forget about me—how are _you_ gonna be able to relax?”
“Please, I can control myself. For now… just chill, Benny.” Lee patted the back of the sofa. “Look, that one guy you’re in love with is in this movie.
Ben’s face flushed. Reluctantly, he took a seat on the backrest and settled near Lee’s shoulder. He stared at the screen. “How long do we do this?” he asked after a minute.
Lee chuckled exasperatedly. “Rule one. We don’t rush out the door.”
Though he was unconvinced, Ben nodded. If Lee insisted… he guess he could give a vacation a try.
#gt#g/t writing#my writing#giant tiny#g/t#gt community#g/t community#gt fandom#g/t fandom#gt fluff#g/t fluff#shot in the dark#shot in the dark story#oc: ben#oc: le
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Firstly I love your writing so much. I am always anxiously awaiting updates on Already Gone and TPFY. What were you doing when the ideas for those stories popped up in your brain??
You’re amazing and we, as a collective fandom, adore you
omg thank you for being so sweet! my chest is all squishy!
the path from you was an incredibly gradual evolution over the span of about six months... it started in june of 2021 while i was listening to a dermot kennedy song. i was deep in my third dramione era and was lapping up any and all angst i could get my hands on. harry/ginny has always been my number one and i was falling in love with them all over again as they are frequent side characters in some fucking spectacular dramione fics. but they were never center stage. at the time i had read *some* hinny fics but never truly jumped in head first because most of what i came across was fluff and/or oneshots and i'm a multichap/slow burn kind of girl and only a few otp: true hinny fics seemed to scratch the particular itch i have for calamitous decisions resulting in a happy ending. ANYWAYS my friend @dammitgranger encouraged me to be the change i wanted to see in the world and write the damn canon divergent fic i wanted to read so badly. and boy did i ever. i picked all my favorite tropes, gave harry & ginny's some post-war suppression, and now we are here, two years later, with two spin offs, a collection of epilogues, and two sequels in the works.
if the path from you crept up on me slowly, already gone was the exact opposite. it hit me like a mack truck while i was listening to a different dermot kennedy song back in november of 2022. amnesia is like my FAVORITE TROPE (right after bodyguard lol) because we, the reader, get to fall in love with the love interest all over again. and harry potter, love interest is the kind of energy i am trying to carry with me at all times. long story short, for the months leading up to that, i had a bunch of little one shots or vignettes that were basically me trying to figure out how harry and ginny got back together in a *epilogue* compliant timeline. i had no idea if i would ever post them, it was just a writing exercise really, me trying to get to know their characters better.. but then after listening to already gone (the song) it was like *GASP* WHAT IF THEY WERE FLASHBACKS! so the premise of an amnesia timeline and a postwar timeline happening in parallel was born. at the time i also desperately needed a writing outlet that wasn't tpfy because i was stuck on chaps 12-14 and i kept trying to force something that just wasn't working so i said fuck it and i started something new. i absolutely adore already gone, for lots of reasons, but mostly because those two idiots live in my head at all times and i can pretty much sit down and write a chapter in about two days with no stress. i love it when writing is no stress. unlike the other fic *cough cough*
god this got long. i'm so sorry. thanks for the question!
ask me anything!
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Ok ok just a small rant
XEHAQUS???? I just... GAH I love them so so much.
When I first got into kh I wrote a 183 page Xehaqus fic that I never finished but they were my life for so long. And this was before Dark Road finished! I love them even more after dark road because oh my gosh they're so cute in that game. The graveyard scene???? It's a crime they didn't kiss. I wish they had better communication skills after what happens in dark road because it's a shame they became so distant. Like they went through so much together and the fact they didn't work through it together and instead went wildly different directions that lead them to hating each other hurts my soul.
I don't think Eraqus ever got over him though, and as much as Xehanort probably wanted to he probably never could.
Have any of you heard butterflies by leo? You should listen to it, I'll die on the hill that that is a Xehaqus song. Other than the first verse which doesn't fit with them too much I think it really is just so perfect for them.
I’m counting the seconds
And waiting for you
The sky sure looks pretty
But you’re my favorite view
I’ll welcome the storm soon
But just for tonight
I’ll pretend that it’s still our room
I’ll pretend that you’re still mine
When will it feel okay
To know that you wouldn’t have stayed
Before mine flew away
I feel them
Please kill them
I’ll heal someday
I cried in the shower
‘Cause you’re not around
Quite funny how I’m still
The hot mess that you found
I know that they’re gone, dear
But picture my eyes
And tell me what happened
To your butterflies
Ok ok sorry but now this post is just me ranting about this song and these lyrics bcs I've thought about this for months. "The sky sure looks pretty, but you're my favorite view" I'd like to think that this would be Xehanort saying this, he does become obsesed with Kingdom Hearts after all, which is a moon in the sky. Although I do interpret most of the lyrics from Eraqus's POV, there are many I see from both or Xehanort's as well. "I’ll welcome the storm soon, but just for tonight I’ll pretend that it’s still our room , I’ll pretend that you’re still mine" a very Eraqus line personally. The storm could represent the events after dark road, and how Eraqus just wants to go back to the way things were before it all. "When will it feel okay to know that you wouldn’t have stayed before mine flew away" to me sounds like either of them could say it. After Dark Road they went on very very different paths, Eraqus going on the path to stay loyal to light while Xehanort walked a dark road (wow I'm funny) and became the person he ended up becoming. "I feel them, please kill them. I’ll heal someday" lets face it, they both still had feelings and died with said feelings. They never got over each other I'll die on this hill. They will never heal. "I cried in the shower ‘cause you’re not around. Quite funny how I’m still the hot mess that you found. I know that they’re gone, dear, but picture my eyes and tell me what happened to your butterflies." This is an Eraqus line to me, I've always pictured their fight in dark road as the final lyric. Just Eraqus wondering how Xehanort changed and how he wonders what happened to his feelings, his butterflies. The first part of it definitely could have been how Eraqus felt in the days following it.
WOW ok rant over, that was in fact not a "small rant". I love Xehaqus, they're my kh OTP (although I do love Akusai and Soriku, these 2 will be on top forever). I made a playlist for them and have written a decent amount for them, they just make me happy. I'm sorry to the people who went into this thinking it wouldn't be me ranting about a silly song I like and also one of my favorite ships.
#kingdom hearts#xehaqus#xehanort#eraqus#kh#they're gay i'll die on this hill#i like them too much#im sorry for the rant
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hewwo tis hua on main :33 lettuce see 9, 17, 23, 31, 45, n 46 for the fic questions~
Hi Hua we are now hanging out on my blog! :3
(Hi it's me from the future crying because this is so long I can no longer justify not putting a Read More what have you done to me :sob:)
9. What are the best things about your current fandom?
How can you ask me that when we’re in the Genshin fandom rn lol Jokes aside, I think that the size of the Genshin fandom is its blessing just as much as it’s its curse. Obviously it’s going to have all of the main problems that big fandoms tend to have, but the sheer number of people also means that there’s basically a guarantee that there will be other people that are creating the exact flavor of fanworks that I want to see and to create myself.
I’ve gone through highs and lows of how much fic I read for a fandom over time and I think Genshin is one of my all-time highs, but I’m pretty sure I’ve also found the most fics in Genshin that have just felt transcendent in some way to me. For a piece of media that I enjoy as much as I enjoy Genshin, I’d gladly take a large fandom that’s a bit of a clusterfuck over a tiny fandom where my thoughts and ideas don’t resonate with anything everyone else is doing. Even if it means I’m mostly off in my corner trying my best to remain blind to greater fandom trends, I’m happy in my tiny sandbox with the few friends that I share this experience with.
17. Who was your first OTP and are they still your favorite?
My first OTP for Genshin was xingyun! I ended up pulling both of them very early on, and even before I read their voicelines and realized that they’re basically a textbook example of friends to lovers, I was impressed by how well they worked together in a team and based purely on that I wondered as a joke if people shipped them. So naturally I checked AO3 and Learned.
They’ve been deposed as my favorites at this point by xiaoven, but they’re still very high on my otp list, placed lovingly in my S+ tier alongside xiaoven and kazuscara. I think that I would have ended up shipping them regardless of if I pulled them both early, but I like to think they started my taste off on the right foot.
23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.
The thing about all of my fics is that they're either for a fandom/ship that I'm kinda divorced from at this point or they were written when I was 14 in the AO3 editing box and there is little to no in between. Which then leaves my Genshin fics... of which there are only 3, since most of my writing is done for me and my friends rather than the public.
Still, if I had to pick one, it would be When Suikou Met a Little Bird, a fic that was written in a pure, brainrotted haze but still kind of escalated to more than I ever expected it to be. It was honestly kind of an experiment for me, since I wrote it in a perspective I wasn't used to (that being Xiao rather than Venti) and the story just kind of came easily in a way that writing usually doesn't for me. For that, I was really proud of how it came out and just really happy with it overall.
That, and I also based it on one of the most Mentally Ill screenshots I've ever taken in-game, which I will include for your viewing pleasure:
31. What's the nicest thing anyone has ever said about your writing?
I got a comment a few months ago on A Brief Respite from Lantern's Light, which was the fic I wrote in a brainrot haze after the Endless Suffering trailer ended my entire existence, which said that my portrayal of Xiao and Venti was the closest to canon they had ever read and that the way I "captured the essence of their love is nothing short of perfection". Needless to say, I kinda ascended thanks to that.
The way that I write characters is something that I guess I could say I'm insecure about, since characters are often the vessels for humanity to be brought forth in a work of fiction, even if the characters aren't human themselves. I hold characters in very high esteem in works of fiction, but because I spend so much time thinking about my favorite characters, I'm constantly worried that they're kinda turning to mush in my brain and becoming what I see them as rather than what they really are. Headcanons are fun and I indulge in them plenty myself, but when I never want to lose sight of who those characters are in the story they were written for when I'm creating my own stories for them.
That's kind of why the xiaoven scene in the Endless Suffering trailer was Everything to me. Their first canon interaction, and it consisted of an exchange that was comfortable, especially when compared to Xiao's interactions with other characters in the past and even in the rest of that same trailer. Then, that says nothing of the tender gazes that Venti was giving Xiao the entire time. The entire scene just proved to me that whether or not they're in love, Xiao and Venti are comfortable with each other and that much is real.
So after I took that scene and built off of it into my own thought of how the scene could continue if Xiao and Venti were lovers, and to have someone say that it matched their interaction in the trailer and that I was able to capture that essence? It means everything to me, to this day.
i feel like a narcissist to have answered that question at such length but oh well lol
45. What is your all time favorite fanfic?
There are plenty of Genshin fics which have had an impact on me (oh haha impact that wasn't even on purpose), but I feel like I have to give this to what's probably the first truly transcendent fic I ever read. It was a Persona 5 fic called Black Star, I'm pretty sure it's still one of the most read P5 fics today, which it totally deserves.
It was a kind of epilogue to the original P5 before Royal or Strikers or whatever the fuck X is supposed to be were ever conceived, and in my honest opinion Black Star did it better than any of them ever have and ever will. It's a fic that says what it means to, nothing more and nothing less, and as I look back over the past 5 years of Atlus milking the life out of this story that used to have meaning, it's so goddamn refreshing to have this author who rolled up, wrote a perfect epilogue for P5 and then nothing else for the fandom. Wherever they are, I hope they're living their best possible life.
Black Star fixed the main thing that the original P5 fucked up, which was Goro Akechi. Akechi barely had a character arc in the original, even by the standards of P5 writing, but in this fic he was able to gain redemption as well as a resolution on his complicated feelings towards Joker in a way that I don't even think Royal did as well. Full disclosure, I used to be a hardcore shuake shipper and Black Star is a gen fic, but there are plenty of fics which give Akechi resolution in a way that incorporates romantic feelings towards Joker which I also love. However, I just think Black Star is able to surpass them in certain regards because of how it actualizes Akechi in his own personhood independent of anyone else. At this point in my life cycle as a goroboy, I really just think that when Akechi is at his lowest like he is in this fic, he just needed anything, even the faintest glimmer of trust in him from someone in his life that he's able to do good even after all the wrong he's done in order for him to at least want to try. That can be given to him regardless of any kind of romance, and Black Star has always done it best.
I also just love the way it builds off of P5's world with Paranoia Syndrome and the Dead Sea in which Mementos rots. Again, it's like I said before, no official continuation of Persona 5 has ever and will ever do it better than Black Star. ...i should read it again at some point.
46. If someone was to read one of your fanfics, which fic would you recommend to them and why?
I am once again being made to choose between one of my three entire Genshin fics lol. But for this question I honestly feel like I have to go with A Brief Respite from Lantern's Light. It's short, but also out of my three fics I think it best demonstrates my mental state and how xiaoven exists in my brain, being rotated like a rotisserie chicken. In a way it could be kinda like my mission statement? Or like. My conceit? OH ITS LIKE MY XV COVER LETTER. i hate that metaphor, god lol
But yeah, we end with a simple answer: if you come to me for xiaoven, the xiaoven in that fic is what you're signing up for <3
#navi answers#rubberbandballqueen#Maybe one day my recced fic will be Talk the Stars#It's so close to hitting its stride#But we're still warming up tbh#This was so fun even though I failed the stfu challenge#a read more on an ask... wtf man
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"I Shouldn't Love You" A TDP Sorayllum fanfic
Note: Why make this fic? Because Rayla has two hands B) Also, I just love Rayllum (my OTP) but I'm also drawn to Sorayla (especially after Season 4) so why not combine them? Let the poor traumatized elf assassin have two boyfriends. Problem solved.
The escape from Umber Tor was long behind the heroes of Xadia. Another week had passed the dragang by, leaving Callum scrambling with an array of plans and missions that were yet to be accomplished. One was coordinating a hunting expedition with the Dragon Queen to hunt down Claudia and her troupe. Another was delving into research for a way to free the Moonshadow elves sealed agonizingly into coins, a dark fate inflicted on them by Lord Viren years prior. The idea of them remaining inside those miniature prisons a moment longer was enough to keep the high mage awake at night, and he feared it was doing the same to Rayla. Three parents could be returned to her if he was skilled enough, if he was powerful enough. He ran a hand through his well-styled brown hair, shutting his jade eyes for a moment. The High Mage let out a deep sigh, trying to clear a mess of scattered thoughts. A small groan alerted him that a certain someone wanted attention. Callum’s hand went down to comb over the top of Bait’s head, offering the glow toad an affectionate smile. The yellow critter gave a low growl of approval.
Rayla silently peered at Callum from across the room, soaking in the sight of him. He was so focused right now, so responsible. In many ways, he was entirely different from the fledgling mage she’d befriended years before. In other ways, such as his overly-excited way of speaking, Callum, fortunately, remained very much the same. Just looking at him brought on fond feelings that had not extinguished over the years. In Rayla’s mind, Callum and she were destined to be together, a two-year separation be damned.
It was the chattering of her baby cuddle monkey that alerted her ex-boyfriend to her presence. Stella was affectionately nuzzling at Rayla’s fingers, a gesture her elven mother encouraged by rubbing the monkey’s nose with her thumb. Stella shut her eyes happily from the mutual affection. Rayla’s violet eyes now fell upon Callum, who had gone stiff the moment he detected the elf's presence. It hurt to see. It hurt to see Callum retreat further and further away from her. He had begun to reciprocate her affections back at Umber Tor but since then, he’d been actively avoiding her.
Rayla broke the silence, asking, “Are you getting enough sleep?”
“Yep. Yep,” said the high mage with a sigh as he turned to face her, “Is there something I can help you with?”
Well, the man wasn't facing her exactly. While Callum was polite enough to not offer the elf his back, his eyes repeatedly glanced away. Rayla’s eyebrows rose, so pained that he wouldn’t look her in the eyes. And yet she couldn’t help but admire him. Callum had grown so handsome in the last few years. Tall and slim with a sharp jawline and the prettiest green eyes of any guy she knew. It took all her self-control to keep from kissing him, to not jump his bones right then and there.
She answered, “I was just checking up on you. You’ve been locked in here so often… I miss you, Callum.”
Callum’s eyes shifted darkly, and Rayla knew she had said the wrong thing.
“Well, you have a funny way of showing it sometimes."
Rayla squirmed at his words, trying desperately not to fight with her ex-boyfriend. It was instinctual for her to throw back sass or a mocking jab, but right now her fiery temper was dampened.
Callum sighed and continued, “Alright, I think I’d like some peace and quiet. I have more volumes to scour.”
“I appreciate what you’re doing,” said the Moonshadow elf, “Really. What you are putting yourself through to get Runaan and my parents out of there. I know you must not want to see Runaan but-I’m grateful.”
Stella chittered a bit before nodding her head and beaming just the same as her Cuddle Mama.
Callum’s voice softened and he said, “I’ll get them out, Rayla.”
There was a moment their eyes finally met and Rayla’s heart nearly shattered. She needed him to look at her again, to look at her with affection. The feeling of being without him left her desperate and empty, and for a moment, she wondered how she had managed the years without him. How stupid she'd been to lose him.
“But…will you be okay?” asked the Moonshadow elf.
“What does it matter? I’m doing my duties, my... high mage duties.”
“I know… I know you're working hard. And I know you don’t think I care but I do. Callum… I still love you. I promised to carry that love over the years. I thought… you would too.”
Callum’s green eyes flashed in anger and he snapped, “Love? You want to talk about love? I did love you, Rayla. I spent the last two years scared and hurt and…”
He paused for a moment before belting out, “You haven’t even apologized! So how can I just pretend nothing happened?”
“I hurt you. I didn’t mean to, but I did. I’m sorry. So so sorry. I just… If I had stayed… I would have… I can’t forget how I was with you back then. I was angry and I took it out on you. I was obsessed and desperate and I would have gotten worse. I had to leave to cool my mind, to find myself, and Callum, I’ll never leave again… if you’ll take me back.”
“I’m glad you’re back,” he said lovingly, his hand recoiling just as it went for her shoulder.
Callum sighed and continued, “But that doesn’t magically make all that pain go away. You broke my heart, Rayla, and you seem just fine. I don’t think I’m ready... I don’t know if I ever will be.”
Rayla’s eyes flashed open in pain. Was he…
“C-Callum?”
His eyes wouldn’t meet hers. His lips remained sealed tight, every moment of silence sending his girlfriend into a panic.
“Please don’t do this… I can do better. Please, I need you.”
“Rayla… I don’t want you to leave but… I can’t be with you. I’m sorry.”
“Oh...” she said as her lips tightened, holding back tears, “I understand. This is my fault.”
She gulped before confessing, “I don’t deserve your love. I never did.”
Rayla covered her mouth as she raced out of the room. Callum suddenly felt his heart stop. It was the tears that had reached him. Being mad at Rayla was one thing, but hurting her was something he never hoped to do. Suddenly, all the anger and all the bitterness that had been confining him to an empty prison broke loose in a dam and out sprang a desperation, something raw and deep that came from a fourteen -year-old Callum that had jumped off a cliff to save her. And now he reached out for her and cried out.
“Wait-Rayla!”
The High Mage ran down the hall as fast as his lithe legs would take him, but it was to no avail. The Moonshadow elf was gone. If he had to guess, Rayla had slipped out of one of the many windows. Callum prepared the words needed to summon his mage wings, to chase after her and yet… It occurred to him he had no idea what to say. He didn’t wish for the elf to go but if she stayed, what would he say if he couldn’t forgive her?
Callum grit his teeth as his own tears came out. His fists tightened painfully before he collapsed onto his knees.
_____________________________________________
One month later…
The search for Claudia had come up empty, yet there was no sign of the Startouch elf’s return. For an elf as powerful as Aaravos, surely his echoes should have been felt throughout Xadia? He had not been as subtle as his old ways when Zubeia dared to speak to him. And so, the Katolis forces were left confused, finding a lull in the eye of the storm. As for the High Mage, he had failed to find a way to release Rayla’s family from the coins. And so, amidst his obsession, he locked himself away in his study, deep in books and knowingly only faint candlelight. It was in those days, he became so consumed by his work that King Ezran found the throne room surprisingly quiet. His brother was deep in machinations, the Moonshadow elf was off doing work for Zubeia, and Soren was leading in coordinated searches with the other human kingdoms. However, all that was about to change for the Crown Guard’s captain was finally due to return.
And he wasn't the only one.
_____________________________________________
Rayla had arrived just a day before the news of Soren's return reached Katolis.
Now, on an especially warm sunrise, Rayla, Ezran, Corvus, and Callum were all gathered together to meet the head of the Crown Guard. Ezran's eyes lit up as he watched his most trusted bodyguard flying in on the back of the crimson Pyrrah. Her talons set wide and dug into the soil as she came to an earth-shattering halt. Soren didn't waste a moment in dismounting. He gave the dragon a thumbs up and then turned his attention towards the welcoming party. He strode forward with his arrogant gait, adorned in his black and white raiment and his luscious blonde locks. As she watched him passively, the Moonshadow assassin found her eyes darting to Soren more than she would have liked. In truth, Rayla wasn’t blind to the fact that Soren had grown even more handsome since she last saw him at the Nexus. Taller too. It was funny to think that once she despised him. But ever since Soren stood up to his father so many years ago, she’d seen her rival in a new light. Even so, what truly grabbed her was just how happy she was to see him. Soren was a lot like Callum now, a bright light luring her in from the edges of her two year exile, two years draped in darkness, trials, and misery. And yet, here Soren was, returning to Katolis with a grin on his face and two arrogant hands on his hips. Still a dumb lump.
Callum smiled brightly at his friend and said, “It’s good to have you back, Soren.”
Soren stepped up briskly in front of the High Mage and Callum blinked in confusion as the knight’s arms started to curl around him
“Uh… Soren, what are you-"
Immediately, he got his answer as Soren’s arms tightened around his back and the young man was lifted off his feet.
“Wha-Okay. We’re doing this again,” was what the high mage uttered in acceptance as he was swooped into a bear hug.
Rayla giggled. She’d missed her boys the last two years. Azymondius, the wee dragon, was large enough to ride. Ezran had grown upwards like the shoot of a seedling, now so tall that it blew her mind. And Callum was… everything she’d hoped. He’d grown strong in her absence too.
Ezran said, “Welcome back. You get any rest over there?”
“Rest? Nah. I’m-I’m full of energy. You just got to get out there and do something.”
As Soren threw a comedic punch into the air, Rayla’s heart nearly stopped. She could tell he was putting on a strong front. Really, it was so obvious with how he bragged and shewed away anyone's doubts as to his mental health. And then it all returned to her. Her guilt. She had aimed a blade at Soren just for trying to give her relationship advice. She’d ditched him in the wilds when he pleaded to her to rescue a drake from a cruel muscley type. Soren’s disappearance after that had the surprising affect of sending Rayla into a spiral of fear, so afraid it was her fault and so afraid the last thing he’d know was her negligence. And when she found him at last beside Rex Igneous, the blond knight had seemed like the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. But much like with Callum, Rayla hadn’t seen much of Soren since that day.
“Um… Hey” said Rayla in a warm but anxious tone, her hands politely tucked together at her waist.
Enough with the “hey!”, Rayla!
She chided herself before trying to regain her dignity. That response had not gone over well with her estranged ex-boyfriend, so why was she resorting to it a second time?
Soren blinked at her with silvery eyes, almost seeming apprehensive, before offering her that stupid cheeky smile of his and opening his arms wide. Oh no. Did he want a hug from her? Rayla froze in her boots. There was no way she could hug him so unprompted. What had come over her anyway? Why couldn’t she hug him? Why had she recoiled back then when he put a hand on her shoulder. It was all platonic, wasn’t it?
“Rayla , my man. My wo-man. Haha!”
“Hey Soren…” she said a bit flustered.
Callum rose an eyebrow at how she shrunk away from the hug, and he and Stella shared a look of bewilderment. As for Soren, he waited for a good ten seconds for the elf to return his hug, an eternity for Rayla who simply smiled at him awkwardly. At last, Soren slumped down to normal in disappointment, and then walked past her. Rayla instantly felt a pang of regret. Soren must have thought she hated him given so much of their past consisted of duels, her giving him sass, and cold shoulders. But that wasn’t true, not to her. If there was one bit of relief, it was when she saw how Soren perked up again as he sauntered on past, his hand lazily pressed down on his sword. And not a moment later, he had Corvus pulled into a deep embrace. At this rate, the elf would be forgotten.
Rayla eyed him with purple irises under concerned brows. The Moonshadow elf needed to apologize, and a talk between them was more than two years overdue.
_____________________________________________
Soren and Callum were standing amid Viren’s library, a title they had both silently agreed to retire after the events of the Storm Spire. The twenty-year-old leaned up lazily against one of the few clear walls not home to a bookshelf. His eyes wandered inquisitively over the state of the high mage’s room. Books were overturned and not returned to their proper shelves. There were empty goblets on the ground, crumpled up balls of parchment, and spilled ink staining the desk.
“No luck finding a way to get those elves out, buddy?” asked Soren, taking on a more grave voice.
“Sadly no… Listen, Soren I need to tell you something and you aren’t gonna like it.”
“Okay. I’m listening”
“Things aren't working. I… I might have to start considering dark magic,” said Callum wearily, bagged eyes falling low.
“Oh…”
“Rayla wouldn’t approve. And I know you don’t. And neither do I. I wanted it banned from Katolis but… Soren, every day they are in there, they're suffering. And Rayla’s suffering. But if I do it… Aaravos, does he win? Am I one step closer to being some pawn in his stupid game?”
Soren said, “Hmm. That’s quite the dilemma. My father’s kind of magic… I’m not a fan. I saw what it did to him. To Claudia. To that prince Kasef. And… I don’t want it taking you.”
Callum crossed his arms defensively at the response, but his eyes seemed in agreement with Soren’s sentiment.
The knight continued, “But if you do go through with it, we’ll support you. And this blue guy Aaravos? He hasn’t won anything. You’ll still be a good guy, Callum.”
“Thanks, Soren.”
“Right? I’m proud of myself for that one. But I think I know a certain elf who could cheer you up even better.”
“Rayla…”
Callum’s eyes fell low. He had barely talked to her all month, only breaking their silence to offer her an update on his research and now he avoided that too. Telling the poor girl that he hadn’t made any progress was demoralizing, it sapped the strength from his body and the way she nodded in understanding was pain inducing. Rayla was already a painful memory, one that now haunted him in the face, promising him a future after stealing it from him. But he’d denied himself the hope she brought, all to escape her curse.
“Heard she had a birthday. The big eighteen. So how did-”
“We broke up, Soren. I mean… technically she broke us up when she left but… I guess she didn’t see it that way.”
“Wait… You dumped Rayla?! Callum, you love her more than anything!”
“I know!” shouted Callum, “But she… I do love her. And I… I think I hate her too.”
The air between them fell into a heavy silence, leaving them both with pained eyes seeping with anger.
At last, the Crownguard let out, “Oh.”
Soren shook his head.
“Buddy, your feelings are totally valid. But I think you’ll just be even more miserable this way. And… what if some other guy comes and takes her? How would you feel about that?”
“What? Soren, it’s not my business if-”
“You’d be jealous wouldn’t you?”
“I… I don’t know. For all I know, was I the only guy for her these last two years?”
“Yeesh,” remarked Soren, “Don’t give her that answer if she asks. Well, I hope you two work it out. At least, become friends again. Still rooting for you two.”
He fired finger guns at Callum before awkwardly backing out of the room. The second he was down the spiraling set of stairs, Soren let out a sigh of exasperation and fell into a more sunken posture. His friends were hurting. Callum and Rayla had never seemed happier than when they were together at the Storm Spire, and they’d made so much progress after Umber Tor. What had gone wrong?
_____________________________________________
Rayla was waiting for Soren at dusk as he began one of his old patrols along the wall. The knight was letting out deep breaths from his jog as he realized the elf was sitting atop the wall’s battlement, one knee pulled into her chest as her hand lay atop it. Her silky white hair was flowing freely, loose and long, as she gazed over the horizon. Her eyes seemed heavily bagged, and she seemed a bit thin. Soren’s eyes blinked in worry. She gazed over at him now and soaked in his appearance. The captain himself seemed a bit thin these days.
“Soren… I was hoping we could talk.”
“Talk?” he asked, not masking his confusion.
“I wanted to apologize. For what happened in the Drakewood. I’ve… I’ve wanted to apologize for a while now, but you left and… and…”
Rayla was holding back tears. For some reason, admitting her mistakes to Soren brought other failures into the center of her mind, forcing her to acknowledge each and every one. Failures in her journey and a failure to love and cherish Callum. In the end, Rayla was nothing but a failure who hurt the people she loved, neither protecting them from foe nor herself.
“Oh that? It’s fine I…”
“It isn’t fine, Soren,” said Rayla exasperatedly, “I know you’re hurting. I see it when you think people aren’t looking. You said you met them. Claudia and Viren. And… you didn’t get them back. They were your family.”
Soren frowned before looking away towards the skyline.
Rayla asked, “Have you let any of it out? Callum always said humans had their ‘Big Feelings Time’ where they…”
Upon hearing the elf say those words, Soren started clutching at his stomach as he let out a belly laugh.
“Haha! Oh man. I’ve… I don’t think my dad was a big fan of that game. Oh. Oh I needed that! Thanks, Rayla.”
He wiped a tear from the corner of his eye.
“That’s it? Do you want to… hug?”
Rayla was disgusted with how merely asking it flustered her. She was overcome with emotion, yet still aware of just how broad Soren’s shoulders were. Although in truth, Callum’s narrow frame remained her favorite but… Before she could dream of her ex, the knight had enveloped her in powerful forearms and boy, was he warm. Strong. Able to snap her in two. The way his hand nestled into her back so tenderly and needily… It was magical. Soren had pulled her in flush against him and oh no… Rayla realized now just how long it had been since she’d had physical affection from something besides a cuddle monkey, how long she‘d been touch starved. She’d wanted Callum to hug her like this… at least more than the one time, and now she’d never get that again. And yet Soren was doing a really good job to satisfy that primal need, much to the elf’s horror.
It was then she felt him hugging even tighter.
“Ack! Soren… You idiot. Yer. Crush. Me!” she said, barely any air left in her lungs.
“Thanks Rayla. I needed this. I… I’m not doing so good.”
Rayla’s amethyst eyes widened in horror before shutting entirely.
“Oh Soren… It’s okay. I have you.”
As his hug softened, Rayla’s arms wrapped around him ever tighter.
“I’m sorry what happened with your family," she began, "and I know… we… I… I abandoned you too.”
“Yeah… I missed you. We used to spar, remember?”
“I do. I remember. I remember you, me, and Callum going on picnics and watching the sunset together… Comforting you when you tossed and turned in your sleep… I… I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know how I was able to leave. I almost wasn’t but I did. I was gone so long even though I loved Callum. And you meant so much to me. You all did. I… I know I don’t deserve it but…”
Soren’s fingers slid over her cheek, wiping away her frozen tears chilled by an evening wind.
The elf cried out, “I want back. I just want to be home again. And I won’t leave you anymore, Soren. You’re not alone, you hear?”
And with that, his blue eyes trembled and down came the tears.
“Claudia didn’t care…” said Soren, “And Dad wouldn’t talk to me. I begged them to talk. To stay but… they wouldn’t. If I had tried a little harder, would they have…?”
“I don’t know. But what they did was wrong. Leaving you was wrong, Soren.”
Every word to comfort him was a strike against her.
And Rayla realized…
Just how sorry she was.
How much she had hurt Callum.
And Soren.
And Ethari.
And everyone she ever loved.
She was no better than Claudia in the end.
Tears were pouring down the Moonshadow assassin’s face and mixing with those of Soren. Rayla cradled herself in his arms, as he pulled her in even tighter and they both felt the weight of their horrid loneliness lightened at last. Her face was pressed hard against his own, feeling the dampness of his tears and the length of his hair. His hands were sliding exploratively up her back, not sexually, but searching for something to hold onto. He lost all his strength and began to slide down the wall until she was sitting atop of his lap, straddling him. Rayla was blushing but neither was looking for romance. They needed companionship. Stella also seemed to have slipped over Soren’s shoulder to offer him a comforting hand. Like mother like daughter.
Soren said, “I really missed you, Rayla.”
Rayla grabbed him affectionately by the wrist and cradled it in her hand.
She said, “I missed you too, Soren.”
“Do you want to…” he asked suddenly chipper, “Go for a spar?”
“A spar? That sounds fun.”
_____________________________________________
Their duel was a beautiful thing. Rayla’s speed and agility had increased in those two years, but so had Soren’s. She admired it, truly. He had learned so much in those few months they had known each other and so his prowess made the most of it. Soren could effortlessly maneuver from a thrust into a flourish and a slash. Rayla was forced to stay on her toes when he began his onslaught, but she was daring enough to dance as she did, to remind the knight of her elegance in battle. This man was her equal in every way. Afterwards, they headed to the royal court for that night’s banquet and stole as many jelly tarts as they could carry. They smuggled them back up to the castle wall and now began to munch on them, all the while Rayla lay her head on Soren’s armored shoulder. It was strange to her to think there was another man she could be as casually intimate with as she had with Callum.
“Eat it up for Mama,” said Rayla with affection as she handed Stella a chunk of pastry covered in a fruity glaze. The cuddle monkey scurried up to her and nabbed the snack with her four arms. After a quick sniff, Stella offered her mother a loving look of gratitude before her little fangs sunk into her dessert. The Moonshadow elf now turned to watch as Soren wolfed down another tart.
“Huh? Aren’t you full? You stuffing yourself for hibernation, Soren?”
“What no… I... Just love jelly tarts, heh heh.”
Soren gulped down another, nearly choking on it, before gruffly slamming on his chest to help it down the old pipe.
Rayla asked gently, “Easy there, big guy. So… Why do you like being up here? On the walls and such?”
“The walls? I guess it’s just part of my exercise routine. And… it’s quiet. It’s peaceful. It feels good to know you can see everything. That everything is safe but also the worlds’ beauty is right there with you.”
“Huh…” she said mouth slightly agape, “That’s deep. Didn’t think you one for waxing philosophical.”
Rayla jabbed him lightly in the rib with her elbow.
“Well… I try,” he said cheekily.
“You know,” began the ivory-haired woman, “I remember scaling these walls back then. The walls of the enemy… And now I’m beginning to see them as my home. I think… I think this is my home now. Well, I did… I don’t know if Callum wants me here. And if my parents and Runaan get out… I wonder if I should go with them back to the Silvergrove?”
“That’s up to you, elf,” said the knight, “But… Between you and me, I want you here.”
“Do you now?”
“Yeah…”
“You’re sweet,” said Rayla, “I was wrong about you, Soren. So very wrong. I… I really like you.”
“I-I like you too. You’re… being awfully nice. Where’s the sassy Rayla we all know?”
His head was dangerously close to her own as he teased.
“Shut up,” she said with a laugh before she slid up onto his chest. She wasn’t sure what was pulling her in, but it reminded her of how she instinctively pressed a hand to Callum’s chest as they kissed atop the Ambler. Soren seemed to feel the same way because his arms wrapped tightly around her back. Rayla reached for his lips. She knew she shouldn’t. She already had a man she loved and to kiss Soren was a horrible mistake for her grieving heart. This man was Callum’s best friend. And he was her own too. Both had been her very best friends in a world that had felt all too lonely. Could she do this?
Nonetheless, no matter how afraid she was, Rayla couldn’t stop herself from leaning forward still. His lips seemed to draw her in, so soft-looking and inviting, promising her a taste of romance. Soren shut his eyes and Rayla did the same, melting into his arms as the kiss deepened. Rayla let out a moan of ecstasy. She’d needed to be kissed over the last few years. As their lips parted, Rayla looked down at Soren, at his sapphire eyes brimming with joy. She couldn’t help but smile at what they had done, and…
Then she freaked the hell out.
“Moon! What did I-? What did you-? I’m so sorry, Soren. I shouldn’t have… I should have asked... I…”
“Don’t go…” he said weakly, “I want you here.”
“Huh? I… Okay.”
His arms had remained locked around her desperately sealing her in a prison of heat and desire. She leaned up against him and lay kisses on his neck, feeling the scruff of his beard itch at her soft cheek. He was so different than Callum. Tall, muscular, hairy, and rugged. Callum was also tall but he was equally lithe, with soft skin and a beauty to him. And both were alluring to her in their own way, making her feel loved and warm. Did that mean she had feelings for Soren too? Was that possible? It wasn’t unheard of to take two husbands in the Silvergrove, but humans had no such couplings in Katolis, and Ethari and Runaan wouldn’t have shared their partner in a million years, so where did that leave her?
Then again, Callum wasn’t hers anymore, now, was he? And he’d never be hers ever again thanks to her cruelty. And if she was so quick to fall in love again, then she truly never did deserve Callum’s heart. There was a certain relief in knowing she could never again hurt him, but it was bittersweet at best, masking a deep heartache.
Rayla snuggled again into Soren, letting her hands wander over his chest. And to her despair, her hips that had never stopped straddling him started to instinctively gyrate. Soren was growing “excited” himself and Rayla felt her mind wanting to go all the way, to a place of fevers and kisses. But she wouldn’t. She fought back the need that had been eating at her for years. She drew herself up to her feet now and looked down at Soren awkwardly. Rayla frowned a bit, begging for Soren to say something.
“Well?”
“That was…” began the handsome knight, “Unexpected. I liked it. But… I also don’t want to hurt your chances with Callum.”
He was still so sweet. Not wishing to hurt either of his friends. Soren was a man of sacrifice, even when it came to matters of love.
“Soren, I can’t-”
“It’s alright, Rayla. Really.”
It wasn’t alright.
“Perhaps we should give it some time to process,” said Rayla.
“It’s fine, Ray. I’m backing off. For now. One day, I might just give it another shot.”
Rayla watched him wink. That arrogant wink that always made her roll her eyes was making her heart flutter madly right now. Even worse, her cheeks were smattered pink.
“If so, I might just give it another shot too, big guy.”
“If it’s Callum though… It’s alright, Rayla. Really.”
Rayla smiled affectionately at him, reaching out with a pale hand. The scratch of his beard enamored her as she cradled his cheek for a moment.
He really was the sweetest.
_____________________________________________
Several days later…
Rayla sat atop a chair, eyes focused on sharpening her blades with a whetstone. The Moonshadow elf paused her task for a moment to watch as Stella danced around the room, climbing every surface and hanging by her tail at times to lazily peer down at her cuddle mama from the chandelier. Rayla smiled up at her lovingly. The little cuddle monkey enjoyed their moments together, but these days she was often gone playing with Bait. And really, she’d taken a liking to everyone in the “dragang” as Soren called them. They were one big family. All except for the elf. Rayla wondered if she’d ever feel fully a part of it as long as Callum hated her.
Her ears flickered at she heard the sound of rapidly approaching boots. Each tap was quick and excited, the runner ready to trip over their own feet. The feel of the vibrations was light like a feather… Callum. He was running towards her room and fast. Rayla gulped as the door flew open and Callum found himself gawking at Rayla with her pants halfway down her knees. Callum blushed at the sight of her bare curvy legs while the Moonshadow elf remained wide-eyed and frozen.
Rayla said, “Ah… Well, at least it can’t get any more embarrassing. Oh no. Not the irony.”
The soldier Marcos jogged up to Callum and said between breaths, “High Mage, why did you run off-Oh. I’ll come back later.”
Marcos, squirming and red, marched awkwardly back the way he had come. The elf was equally beet red. Her interactions with that man were always memorable, if for the wrong reasons. As for her ex-boyfriend…
Callum blushed furiously before spinning around, gazing out the hall but showing no sign of leaving.
He asked, “Um… Rayla… Sorry for barging in but also you’ll absolutely want to hear this.”
“Mah pants are up. Speak away.”
“Okay,” he said while cheerfully clapping his gloved hands together, “So I’ve found it. I know how to get your family out of the coins!”
“Wha-?!”
He ran into her bedchambers, eyes lit up like a child at a birthday party, seeming to forget his resentment against her. Callum was “dorking” out shamelessly and he was proud of himself. In that moment, Rayla’s love of him was mixed with utter relief knowing Runaan and the others would finally be out of that hellish prison. She leapt up and threw her arms around Callum. The mage smiled radiantly as they embraced, deepening the hug.
“I… I missed you, Rayla.”
“I missed you too, Callum.”
“Okay so… This is great news and all but… Um, can we talk alone? Er... not in front of the kid?”
“Stella baby, give us just a wee sec?”
Stella chirped obediently and Rayla swore she gave them both a knowing look before she skittered out of the room. Callum ran a hand through his hair timidly, immediately regretting it as his flawlessly-kempt hair became far messier.
He looked away awkwardly as he resumed his chattering, “Bad news is that I only found out how to do it with dark magic.”
“Oh… That’s not so good.”
“Right? Very bad and well… Rayla, I’m willing to do it. I am. Getting your family back is worth it.”
“But Callum… You’ve been so worried about Aaravos. What if… What if this is just what he wants? You despise Dark Magic. I can’t ask this… Not even for them.”
“Yes, you can. And I’ll be fine… I think.”
“Callum, I’m so grateful. And I’m so sorry. It’s not right you have to do something you dislike so bad just to save them.”
“It happens,” he said as his voice took on a deeper tone, “You’re not a killer Rayla. But even you… With Zym. You chose to do that to save him and sometimes to do the right thing, we have to forsake our morals. As long as we don’t make a habit of it… Perhaps we’re not really on that path of darkness.”
She watched as his eyes took on a darker hue, and for a moment, her mind struggled to understand how such words had left innocent Callum’s lips. Even so, they struck true.
“I hope so. But with you Callum… I know you’ll do the right thing in the end. Even so, be careful. I don’t want you falling into another deathly fever again. If you decide not to do this, I’ll be relieved.”
“And you’ll be mortified knowing they’re still stuck in there. I know. But I’ve chosen to do it as High Mage. I just need some time to… To prepare. To think.”
“That's more than fair,” said Rayla.
“But… Rayla, happy birthday.”
“Huh?”
Callum rubbed the back of his hair and said, “I know. I know. I’m a month late and I never wished you one. I guess I was mad at you for not wishing me one, but I always intended to give you a present. To give you the best present I could give you. A family.”
“Oh Callum… Thank you.”
“Rayla… I know I broke your heart back then. But I’ve been thinking about it, and I’ve been dying without you. I miss you so bad. I’m not sleeping anymore. I miss your jokes. The way we bonded over my silly magical rambling. The way you teased me. The way you supported and kissed me. I haven’t been myself since you left two years ago, and I still don’t feel like me.”
Rayla coyly ran a hand through her white locks and asked, “Do you mean… You’ll take me back?”
“I’m asking if you’ll takemeback.”
“Callum! Yes! A thousand times yes. All month, I’ve just been pining and sulking.”
Callum’s slender but muscled arms wrapped around her back and his hug felt spectacular. Her head rested on his shoulder, and she took in his scent. The smell of dusty old books, of jelly tarts, and some sort of spices. Her dorky mage boyfriend was back. But then a bitter revelation struck her. Rayla was no good for him. The guilt was stifling as she realized either way a man would be hurt. And she’d have to tell Callum the truth. There could be no more lies if this relationship was to have a chance.
“But…” she said as she pulled away from him, “I can’t. Callum, I did something and you’re going to hate me again. And I deserve it. I really am the worst.”
“Did what? Is this about Soren?”
“About-Wha?”
“I have guards, Rayla. I know you are spending time with him. And cuddling and all that.”
“You knew?”
“Well, I figured you’d been crushing on him for a while now. The way you were so desperate to find him in the Drakewoods and how sad you got when he left.”
“I-It wasn’t-I wasn’t.” she spazzed, face utterly mortified as it had been back when Runaan learned she’d spared Marcos.
Callum took her four fingers into his five and said, “I’m not mad, Rayla. I… I don’t really care. I mean I was pissed at first. Like, it’s one of the reasons I was avoiding you lately. But now, I just want you back. I don’t mind sharing but I need to know you won’t leave me for him. That… I’m enough whether or not he’s around.”
“Of course, you are. But what are you saying? Callum, you should still be furious. Jealous. Angry. If you were in love with someone else, I’d be devastated. I was dreading it the whole time. Afraid Claudia would come back and steal you away from me or it’d be someone new. Ready to split them up the spine if you asked to share.”
“Wow, you have an active imagination. And I’m not interested in anyone else. That’s not what this is about. This is about whether you’ll come back.”
“Yes. Callum, a thousand times yes.”
He pulled her into his arms again and then Rayla reached beneath his chin, propping it up with a thumb and she kissed the man of her dreams. Her soulmate. Her everything. The kiss was deep. Her hand groped at his firm chest as they shared a tender kiss, one of a hundred they’d enjoyed together since the Oasis. Oh, how the feeling of his body drove her wild with lust! She was laying mad kisses up and down his neck. Pushing him onto the bed to kiss him deeper… and soon they were cuddled up against each other, gazing out the window at a full moon. Rayla lay huddled against his chest, a hand resting on his other pec as she drifted off to sleep. In that moment, her world was restored to her. Well, mostly.
There was no way she could risk Callum's offer no matter how much he promised it was safe. She only hoped Soren would understand.
_____________________________________________
The time came for gathering magical ingredients or more specifically, for beginning a wild hunt. The dark magic in question called for a great number of things, few cheap or easy to acquire, and many were only found in Xadia. All that now remained, was a rare bushel of fruit and sets of enchanted antlers found on an elusive breed of Xadian deer, one needed for each coin. The Dragon Queen had been gracious. While she vehemently disagreed with their usage of forbidden magic, she made a sole exception as the family to be rescued were victims of dark magic curses. Even more, these imprisoned elves belonged to the hero Rayla who had personally saved her little boy Zym. As such, the knights of Katolis were given permission to hunt their game in the Drakewood. But never again would Zubeia allow such evil to be willingly conducted in her territory.
Soon night came upon them, and Callum, Rayla, and Soren began to set up camp.
Soren stretched his legs and flexed his back. “Oh wow. Look. At. That. Sky. Beautiful. Nothing beats the fresh outdoors, huh, gang?”
Rayla retorted mockingly, “Well, why don’t you stay out here while Callum and I take the nice warm tent then, big guy?”
“Oh! Don’t tempt me with a good time. While you have a good time!” cooed Soren with finger guns.
Rayla blushed and asked, “Wha-?”
“Just pulling your leg. But for real, you guys enjoy the tent. The sleeping bag suits me. Enjoy your couples time.”
His blue eyes grew soft at the pair of them.
Rayla said, “Soren… I don’t know…”
“Get in here, Soren,” said Callum bluntly, “We’re a trio. We stick together. Or you’ll get nabbed by another dragon.”
“Yeah,” said the Moonshadow elf, “I’m not letting you leave my sight again. Not after the Drakewood.”
“Rayla, that was…”
“I’m not losing you again.”
Her voice had a desperate edge to it, free of her usual sarcasm. Soren nodded and slipped into the tent with the both of them. Rayla gulped a bit as the tent was more cramped than she expected. Human royal tents were supposed to be bigger than this right? Stella was off in the corner, comfortably resting with her back on Bait’s side, and even they were so close that Rayla’s tippy toes could poke them. But the real issue was being between the two men she loved. The elf decided to turn towards Callum and wrap her arms around him, kissing him on the lips goodnight and snuggling in his arms. Rayla close her eyes immediately to ease the awkwardness of it all, a part of her regretting that Soren had to see this. She wondered if she should go back to sleeping in a more platonic position.
Soren broke the long silence by confessing, “So… Don’t be mad but I uh… I can’t fall asleep. You guys do know it’s only like 8 pm, right?”
“Soren, you-Actually, that’s a pretty good point,” admitted Rayla, a hand beneath her chin.
Callum said, “Yeah. I’m not falling asleep for hours. Especially with those drakes screaming out there like its mating season.”
Rayla scoffed and swatted his shoulder playfully.
The knight said, “Oh! I hope I run into my girl.”
Callum asked, “Your girl?”
Rayla sighed and said in a deadpan tone, “It’s probably just gonna be a dragon.”
“Ding! We have a winner. It’s a drake and she is my friend.”
Rayla said, “A friend eh? Maybe if we put some honey on you in the morning, we can-”
Oh no. She was imagining covering Soren’s bare muscles coated in honey… Why did all their platonic humor now feel so wrong after the kiss? She missed their bromance and morning duels with all their chaste glory.
Callum said somberly, “Actually, there is something I want to talk about. That we haven’t talked about, Rayla. Soren, can hear it too.”
“Wha-? Wait…” began Rayla, “Is this Big Feelings Time?”
“Yep. Big Feelings Time.”
“Ugh… fine,” replied the elf, defeated hand resting on her cheek, “I suppose I owe you that much.”
“You do,” said Callum with an assertive finger, “You said you were gonna put an effort to start talking about what’s aching you and… Rayla, there’s no way you aren’t feeling things. Getting Runaan back? Your parents? You haven’t seen them since you were a kid. It must be a lot on your mind.”
Rayla dug her nails into the blanket and turned to him, asking, “That’s what you’re worried about?”
“Sorry that I’m worried about my girlfriend who still won’t talk to me about what’s hurting her.”
The elf’s teeth clamped together before she lashed out, “Me? What about you? How can you be so cool about this, Callum? Runaan… What he did to your dad… And you, Soren! Harrow was your king too. Ezran’s father… None of you say anything. You're allowed to be bothered by it. To be mad.”
Soren’s eyes lowered as he answered, “Rayla, I’m happy for you. I don’t have to like the guy. But it’s fine. What he went through is punishment enough for what he did to my king.”
Callum said, “I’m not happy to see him either, Rayla, but I am happy to help restore a piece of your broken heart. When you came back, I was so mad. All I could think about was the pain you put me through. And now? And now I’m starting to think of other things. What you went through… What this means to you. I want to make it hurt less, Rayla. I love you.”
“I love you too, my moon” sung Rayla with a kiss on his lips.
Soren said, “I want to help too. I wouldn’t have done something like this otherwise. So, Rayla, how are you feeling?”
Rayla’s eyes lowered as she contemplated for a second what to say. It needed to be earnest or Callum’s trust in her would wane.
“I… I don’t know if Runaan hates me or not. I always thought that he’d survive… Get away. That he was holding back when we fought. But if he’s been alive in that prison... suffering… Has he come to hate me? I wouldn’t blame him.”
“Runaan doesn’t hate you," answered the mage.
“I hate me though… He was my father and he loved me like I was his own. I see that now. I don’t regret going with you and Ezran to save the egg but… I can never apologize enough to him. I was an ungrateful daughter. Yearning for parents, pushing him into training me when I was a wee girl just so I wasn’t so alone, and then abandoning his Ethari the last two years to grieve alone. Right when he put his trust in me, I betrayed him. And he was starved, tortured, and sealed away horrifically because of me.”
Rayla’s talons dug into her skull as she said, “Sometimes at night, I… I feel his hands wrapping around my throat and pulling me into that sea of souls. They remind me of my sins, they drag me into a grave and I wonder if… If I’m finally getting what I deserve.”
“That’s enough, Rayla!” shouted Callum as he pulled her into his chest.
Soren put a comforting hand on her shoulder and said, “He’s right. That’s enough of these… dark thoughts. I still have nightmares you know, about the day I killed… my dad. It wasn’t real but… it felt real. And it was eating at me and you know what I did?”
“What?” asked Rayla.
“I trained. I exercised. I did my duties as captain. And I laughed and ate with all my friends. I stayed where I was loved. This is where you are loved.”
“S-Soren…?” asked Rayla with a blush.
“Oh um… I didn’t mean…”
Callum said, “I know, Soren. I saw you with her and I don’t care. I just want Rayla to be fine again. So… you better be there for her too.”
Soren blinked in confusion, as did Rayla.
They asked in harmony, “What?”
Callum kissed Rayla hard on the lips again and pulled her back in his arms. Soren moved his arms hesitantly forward, freezing as if worried that touching a finger on Rayla would destroy everything he loved. At last, he lay his chest on her back and his arms wrapped around her waist. Rayla moaned and winced from the sensation, turning to receive his own kiss. She felt her heart racing as if the jaws of Sol Regem were behind her. She was in bliss being sandwiched between these two gorgeous men, bodies radiating like furnaces and spoiling her in hugs and kisses. Ambushed in the front and from behind, Rayla felt her body wanting to give into a type of pleasure there was no coming back from. She fought to resist it, simply enjoying how they kissed her and slid hands along her back, front, and legs. It was hard to cry and be sad when Soren and Callum enveloped her in so much love.
“Beautiful elf,” said Soren into her ear.
“Handsome boys,” she answered softly, growling right as she tugged on the High Mage’s ear.
Callum said, “Rayla… I love you.”
Her lips pressed again to his own.
“I love you too, Callum. And I love you too, Soren.”
That night, Rayla slept happily sweet and sound, with gentle breaths and a pleased smile on her face. Her little girl Stella lay asleep on her chest, all six limbs sprawled out. As for her two lovers, they were laying on her shoulders, arms overlapping on her stomach. Soren and Callum were close, and she found some solace that night, knowing soon her family would only grow larger. Runaan, Tiadrin, and Lain would be freed and then… And then she’d have to explain to them why she had two human boyfriends.
END
#Sorayllum#Rayllum#Sorayla#The Dragon Prince#One-shot#Callum x Rayla#Soren x Rayla#Rayla x Soren#OT3#poly relationship#Because Rayla has two hands and deserves two boyfriends
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do i twist; do i fold
Author: shadowsong26
Rating: R
Fandom: BSG
Characters: Gaius Baltar, Caprica-Six
Warnings: Significant discussion of genocide and murder; more oblique references to torture.
Summary: Caprica comes clean a few months early.
Disclaimer: All characters are the property of their respective creators.
Notes: Written for the Year of the OTP event. April prompt: canon divergence. This is one I’ve been looking forward to posting since I decided to do this whole event, and while there are a couple things I keep poking at to reword (particularly the last couple lines), it’s one of those ‘If I don’t just let it go, I’ll never stop’ situations, so here it is. Also, while I know The Plan implies a much tighter timeline here, this a) makes a little more sense to me, and b) makes for a more interesting story, so I’m going with what I’ve got here.
Title comes from ‘Voodoo Child’ (Rogue Traders)
(I am also going to do this for Star Wars and some of my original ‘verses, if you’re interested in checking those out! One ship per canon. The fanfic ones will be posted to AO3 probably a day or two after they’re on tumblr. This fic is also available on AO3 here. Master list of all fills can be found here.)
592 days, eighteen hours, forty minutes.
That’s how long it’s taken to get to this point. To complete her mission.
Well, mostly. She’ll have to remain in position until the very end, of course; to monitor for any problems, to guard against exposure, to make any changes to the program that can’t be done remotely.
It’ll take approximately three months, according to the most optimistic projections.
Three months for the last pieces to fall into place, for the final preparations for the strike.
Six months is a more realistic estimate; twelve is the worst-case scenario.
Worst.
592 days, eighteen hours, forty-one minutes since they met. Not that she’s been counting.
And in a few months, maybe a year, it’ll all be over. Really, truly over. Humanity will burn, she will be reborn, and…
It seems like an eternity. To stay with him, to lie to him--and, yes, she’s been doing that for so long already, and no, nothing has changed, not really, but it feels different.
It seems like no time at all.
Her heart races, and her mind whirls, spinning through all the little moments they’ve shared. Not the big ones--not their first meeting, not helping with his father, not the moment he said yes, but the little ones.
His fingertips, brushing against hers as he passes her a cup of coffee.
Lying together lazily in the morning, talking about everything and nothing.
Dragging the whiteboard out of his office to settle an argument; not really caring who won as they built their equations together.
Even that insufferable amused tolerance when the conversation turns to religion.
The way he smiles when he thinks she isn’t looking.
All the little pieces of the life they could have built together. That they almost have.
It will all be gone.
And he--he won’t wake up after. He won’t be reborn. He will just…burn.
He’s sitting there, next to her, like he has so many times before. If he’s having second thoughts, he’s hiding it well. He’s ready to give her everything she wanted.
Everything she asked for.
And all she can think about is that three months, six months, maybe a year from now, he will burn.
Five hundred ninety-two days, eighteen hours, forty-two minutes.
I can’t do this.
(It’s not just him; it’s all of them--however righteous her people’s fury, when weighed against all of those little moments, multiplied by billions of human beings…but if she hadn’t known him, if she hadn’t--loved--)
“Wait,” she says, putting her hand on his. Stopping him from going any further.
He blinks. “What’s wrong?” he asks.
“There’s…” She takes a breath. “There’s something you should know.”
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
His hands are still shaking.
He’s not sure how long it’s been, exactly, since she told him. Since she stopped him. Since he almost--
Gods.
Unsteadily, he pushes himself to his feet; gets another drink; only spills a little. He presses the cold glass to his forehead, reminding himself to breathe, to think, to--
I’m a Cylon.
She’s always seemed so…so real.
His heart races, and his mind whirls, spinning through all the little moments they’ve shared. Not the big ones--not the day they met, not the first time she brought him to her flat, not the moment he said yes, but the little ones.
The feel of her fingers against his when they brushed together across a cup of coffee.
Waking up together and staying in bed for hours, talking or making love or both or neither.
Dragging the whiteboard out of his study so one of them could prove a point, and it not mattering in the end who was right, because they worked it out together.
Even that irrational certainty when she talks about her God.
The way her face softens when she smiles at him.
All the little pieces of the life they might have built together. That they almost have.
…she seems real because she is.
After six hundred days, give or take, of seeing her, of sharing his life with her in ways he never has before, not with anyone, he knows that much for sure.
She is a real person. A real woman. A woman he--
He finds himself back across the room, back on the sofa, not really recalling how he got there. He seems to have brought the decanter along with him--probably wise.
He leaves it on the end table, though; stares at the melting ice in his still-mostly-full glass, and thinks--
What do I do now?
The obvious thing--the smart thing--probably the right thing--would be to turn her in. Tell his friends at Defense that he was…approached. As--as she pointed out, he hasn’t actually done anything yet. Nothing irrevocable, anyway. Nothing he can’t talk his way out of. He wouldn’t have to admit how close--and if she tried to claim otherwise, it would be her word against his, after all.
His reputation would be damaged, possibly irreparably, and he’d likely never work another government contract, but he’d keep his freedom and his head. Which is certainly something to consider.
And she…
He stares into his drink for another moment; slowly takes a sip.
In all likelihood, she would be…be executed. Terminated. Would they even see it as an execution? Would they--could they--even see her as a person?
…but in truth, as much as he hates to admit it, he knows that that is not the likeliest scenario.
A Cylon, one who looks--who feels--so perfectly real? So perfectly human?
No. Murdering her would not be their first move.
She would be studied. Tested, to determine her capabilities, her differences. If she cooperates, she may even be treated--decently. Considering. He would probably never see her again, but she’d be alive. They would both survive this.
Except…
He considers some of his other Defense contacts. What they might do with her. To her.
He shudders again and finishes his drink.
And, yes, all right, it’s entirely probable that cooler--saner--more human heads will prevail, but…
He cannot--he cannot risk that. He cannot risk her. Not like that.
He pours another drink, and pauses, recalling--something else she said.
That he was--that her mission was--their first, best choice for access (and whether he should be flattered or insulted at the thought is something to think about another day).
But he was not--is not--their only option.
The Cylons--her people--have backup plans, alternatives, should her mission fail.
And she doesn’t entirely know what those alternatives might be.
His blood runs cold at the thought.
It doesn’t change what he--what he already knows. He still cannot turn her in.
But he also cannot--knowing what he now knows, he has to do…something.
Can I? Can I really…can I do this? A question he hasn’t really asked himself, not in this sense, not in a long time. He is very good, the best, but getting into this so late in the game, and the risks involved…
…I have to. I have to try.
And if he fails…if he fails, having tried, at least he’ll be remembered as a hero. There are worse things to contemplate.
And she’ll be here.
She came to him for a reason, after all. The first time, yes, but the second as well. If she’d only been doubting her mission, she could have simply walked away. To stop this--if there is any hope of stopping this--she needs him. As much as he needs her.
Whatever…whatever else he might…
His phone is in his hand before he can change his mind, and he dials a number he’s spent five hundred and ninety-three days engraving into his mind and heart.
Not that he’s been counting.
She answers on the second ring.
“Hello?”
“It’s me,” he says, then takes a shaking breath. “I think that…that is, we should…I’d…can you come over? We should…we should talk.”
She lets out a little breath of her own; what it means, what she feels, he couldn’t say. “I’ll be there,” she says.
There’s a long, aching silence, full of things he wants to say but--can’t. Not now. Not yet.
Perhaps not ever.
“…I’ll see you soon,” he says, when he can’t bear it any longer.
“See you soon,” she echoes, and the line goes dead.
Perhaps it’s simply…a decision has been made, he’s taken a step in a direction, but he somehow feels less…
He puts the phone down carefully; closes his eyes; finishes his drink; settles back to wait.
For the end.
For some kind of frakked-up beginning.
…for her.
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Bestie. Bestie. I know I've already sent him for a character meme before, but that was a long time ago and also this one is ~detailed~ so. Takuto, if you'll indulge me? :3
Also! If I may, I'm sending Akechi too 'cause we all want to talk about our blorbos ^^ <3
mwah thank you bestie 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
takuto:
What I like about them: he’s genuinely such an interesting character. his role in the story is generally such a sexy one (anti-villains are p rare from my experience so it’s so cool to see one). i love his confidant and even his class questions and his presence is genuinely very calming
What I dislike about them: why are you me. i’m me
Favourite moment: that one scream after the fist fight. you know the one
Least favourite moment: hmmmmm not sure if i have one i particularly dislike but ig while they’re very plot and character important, his one on one conversations with the thieves can be a bit slow and at times even uncomfortable to watch bc of second hand embarrassment lmao
A situation with this character that I want to see explored more: i really wanna know what happens to him in his reality! we see him basically become a nobody, the thieves don’t recognize him, and i assume it’s his doing? so i’m curious, once everyone’s happiness is actualized, what does he have left to do?? what does he do??? pls i need answers
An interesting AU for this character: curious to think abt how thing’s would’ve gone if he told akira from the start he knows they’re the pt and abt the metaverse and cogpsi. like, how would the thieves react? would they be more guarded around him, or more open? would he become a confidant to them all? idk it’s interesting!!!! idek if it counts as an au bc it’s more canon divergence but eh.
A crossover: i’m ngl my brain is flat out of ideas. fuck it. the bible. biggest crossover of the year. ig it’s technically already canon but anyway
OTP: takuto x you u3u
Other ships?: takurumi ofc! and i think his ship with zenkichi is cute!
BROTP: shibusawa true bro xx
NOTP: whatever his ship with akira is called. for obvious reasons
An assortment of headcanons! (but this post is long enough as is so i’m limiting myself to one): that man lives in the lamest ass apartment you’ve seen in your life. he does NOT get paid enough to afford more. rip king
goro:
What I like about them: the mental illness(es) and everything else also
What I dislike about them: uuuuuuuh ig he’s got some moments that give me second hand embarrassment?? esp in his detective persona. i’m sorry goro you posted cringe you’re gonna lose subscriber
Favourite moment: any time he’s being unhinged during the third semester 😍 but esp as a navi
Least favourite moment: genuinely can’t choose bc any moment that may be cringe is just so funny or i’m simply too happy he’s there that i can’t bring myself to dislike it. ig in his original confidant some of the ranks were a bit boring? so just pick one of those rank ups where he just says how interesting it is to talk to akira despite us never seeing them talk
A situation with this character that I want to see explored more: you know that deleted content from royal where he’s in a rehab center? yeah i wanna know what’s up with that and have more information and see how he heals and how he is afterwards
An interesting AU for this character: actual detective goro........ him solving crimes he didn’t commit himself.......... solving mysteries........... connecting dots and following leads...... perhaps with a trusty partner who looks great in drag called watso- *gets shot*
A crossover: i’m making him besties with dimitri fire emblem even if it’s the last thing i do
OTP: my special little polycule of goro x akira x haru x yusuke. but also just akeshu
Other ships?: akekita, akeharu, ryugoro
BROTP: futago and anngoro!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NOTP: recently found out some ppl actually ship him with shido and well. i’m not here to police anyone’s ships but Keep That Shit Away From Me
Extra headcanon: autistic king. masking expert and hyperaware of people’s perception of him due to years of trauma. his special interest is featherman. stims by fiddling with his gloves. i’m right about this
send some characters?
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“You’re not going to settle for that. Not if I have anything to say about it.” from the random otp prompts please :)
Exhausted, grimy, and feeling lower than she’s ever felt, Bril kicked her boots off as she walked in her apartment door with a sigh. Shoulders slumped, she made her way to the couch where G’raha was curled up with a book in one hand and a glass of tea in the other. He looked up at her as she flopped down on the opposite end, a small smile on his face.
“Long day, love?”
“Like you wouldn’t believe. I never want to adventure again.” The next words out of her mouth were low and he couldn’t quite catch them all, but he thought he could make out, “Whose idea was this anyway? I’ll punch them--...” Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he caught her clenching her leather glove clad fist. Oh, this won’t do, he thought to himself.
G’raha closed his book after flipping the corner of the page down, a bad habit he picked up from Alisaie, and sat both it and his steaming tea on the coffee table. He moved closer to the warrior, hands coming up to her shoulders so he could begin rubbing them gently.
“Would you like to tell me about it?” He asked softly, rotating his thumb on a particularly hard knot between her shoulder blades. For a moment, all she could do was groan happily as his fingers worked magic on her back and shoulders. He was about to ask her again when he heard her take a deep breath.
“I found a lost little girl today.” Bril recounted her misery, that’s where it had all started at least. “She was hurt, a skinned knee and a bruised forehead, and she was crying so hard, I could barely understand her.” Suddenly, the emotions of the day caught up with her and she felt tears prick her eyes. She gave a covert sniff, hoping G’raha wouldn’t notice, and turned her head down as he worked lower down her back.
“She couldn’t remember where she lived and she couldn’t tell me her father’s first or last name, so I had nothing to go on. She couldn’t have been more than 5 or 6. Little Miqo’te girl, red hair, and the prettiest green eyes.” Even to herself, her voice sounded thick. There was no way he didn’t know she was crying.
“I walked her around the marketplace, asking vendors if they’d seen her before, if they knew who her family might be but all I got were headshakes, so I wagered she might be from another village, just come to the market to shop and then go home. Closest one was Black Brush, so she and I walked the few thousand yalms. She was in better spirits when we started walking because I promised her I’d find her father and everything would be alright. I asked her to tell me what happened and she said the strangest thing. She said, “Daddy brought me to the man who sold toys and told me to look for one, but when I turned around to tell him which toy I chose, he was gone.”
G’raha hummed as he worked his fingers along her spine, “That…sounds more like abandonment than getting lost.” She cleared her throat a little, and continued.
“We walked into Black Brush and a guard was able to point me to her father’s house. When I realized she’d been abandoned, I was furious, but I tried to calm myself down and convince myself that it might have been a misunderstanding. But sure enough, when the man in question opened the door and saw me there with his daughter, his face fell. She had no idea, ‘Raha. She just hugged his legs and smiled. Said, “Thank you, ma’am.” as sweet as she could be. Her dad had just left her, like she was a stray. He didn’t even say anything, just slammed the door in my face. When I told the guards, they shrugged me off. Said this wasn’t the first time someone else had brought her back home.”
By this point in her story, steady tears were rolling down Bril’s face, cheeks splotched with pink from her left over anger, her nose clogged from crying so much. G’raha’s hands had stilled on her back. She chanced a teeny glance behind at him to find his face contorted with anger; eyebrows drawn together, mouth frowning deeply. He moved to get up.
“Wh-what are you doing?” He was putting on his shoes is what he was doing. He was opening the closet to find his staff, he was pulling on his regular clothes, he was moving with singular purpose. He didn’t answer her.
She stood, placed herself in front of him, between him and the door he was headed for. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“Black Brush.” He made to move her out of the way, but she stopped him.
“You can’t! I don’t--...he didn’t even do anything to me.”
“He slammed the door in your face, you said. You’re not going to settle for that. Not if I have anything to say about it. That little girl doesn’t belong there; this won’t be the last time he does this to her. He’ll keep dropping her off in places until she doesn’t come back.”
“What can we do about that?” She asked, sniffling a little, heart hopeful.
“We can stop the cycle. We can take her to your mother in Gridania. He won’t get to hurt her anymore.”
#hey thank you for asking!!!#bril writes#this one was hard for me for some reason but once i got started i didn't want to stop#yes okay it got away from me a little#it's a little long apologies#and kind of ties in to my last ask where bril talks about her mom#continuity haha!#also me being dumb with like location things?? still a problem lol
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otp asks for Darya and Rufus: 20, 50, 52
otp asks for Emyr and Glenn: 27, 30, 36
Got very long so putting everything under the cut
Darya/Rufus:
Choose one song that perfectly describes their relationship.
I need everything for this to last
I have a playlist worth of songs but right now I’m feeling “Don’t You Dare (Make Me Fall in Love With You)” by Kaden MacKay and while I mostly see it from being from Rufus’ perspective it still definitely fits Darya. It kind of encapsulates the entirety of their relationship. The fact that they fell in and out of each other’s lives, the fact that these are exactly the sentiments he had before they sat down and worked out what they wanted their relationship to be and look like, and even to her death where Rufus is left still very much in love even long after she’s gone.
For a more Darya centric song I definitely recommend “Midnight Oil” by Tommee Profitt because it fits with her needs and exceptions from Rufus with wanting a true partner in more ways than one. She wanted a relationship built to last, and truly believed that Rufus could give her one where she was happy out of all people. These are by far my favorite lyrics from the song for her:
“So when you’re ready take off your mask
I want a love where my heart can stand”
Who's more likely to do something out of spite?
One would think it would be Rufus, but Darya is more willing to do something out of pure spite and he won’t even realize that it’s coming. It’s like small spiteful things though (like putting in requests for her own meal at dinner if Rufus chose something she didn’t like) because they honestly don’t get into arguments or fights all that often and that would be what facilitates her doing something. They have a pretty crucial agreement about openness and honesty, along with trying to resolve things before they devolve into fighting or taking out stress on the other.
One time of prolonged arguing though had Rufus overworking himself mostly out of spite, he ended up inevitably with a migraine, and Darya, after making sure he wasn’t hurting himself, left him to deal with it alone also out of spite. It ended with them both apologizing to the other and having an actual discussions about what caused the arguing in the first place.
Describe their weekend getaway?
Honestly, a getaway for them is probably staying close to home or going to County Samara just to enjoy some time away. They would enjoy things like going for longer horseback rides in the forests around Samara, perhaps stocking up arrows for a hunt while they’re out (Rufus is very much a fan), eating lunch in the gardens without having to worry about going back in for work later, and going out into the town to patronize restaurants or other businesses. For more extensive trips they love going to Derdriu to relax and have a bit more anonymity for any activities out in the city.
Glenn/Emyr:
Who is the light weight that needs to be taken care of after a party?
Glenn akdsnkk. Emyr’s Crest makes him less susceptible to alcohol (and recover from hangovers faster) so Glenn naturally is the lighter weight between the two. Emyr will always make sure his beau is taken care even before he takes care of himself if he was indulging too.
Your OTP gets to pick out each other's outfits; what is each wearing?
I’m going to assume this is for some kind of event like a ball. Pics below is a balance of what I have in mind.
Who's more likely to fire up the stove at 2am because the other woke up in the middle of the night hungry?
Glenn: Oh Emyr would dress him up like you wouldn’t believe. The man has an eye for fashion and knows what works best for Glenn and what he really enjoys. It would honestly be very simple but utterly elegant. Drenched in Fraldarius greens and furs, light armor pieces due to that being popular in Faerghus for formal wear.
Emyr: Glenn would revel in ensuring Emyr is drenched back to front in finery befitting of a prince. Gorgeous brocades and velvet, he thinks blue is Emyr’s best color for real, and of course fur because no Grand Duke of Itha can be seen without any. He wants to make absolute sure Emyr looks good and feels good and while he’s not the best fashion wise he knows what he likes to see Emyr wear and will put together an outfit based on gut instinct alone. He would also help Emyr decide how to incorporate elements of Srengi/Zemlja clothing and aesthetics into his formal wear because for Emyr it’s very important he can show that part of his heritage just as much as his role as Faerghal nobility.
Emyr actually because he’s likely to be still awake at that time. He knows how to cook a good simple meal with Glenn help for a few parts albeit. Sometimes Glenn will pick out recipe cards he had Fiachra write down for him, but other times they improvise with what they think sounds good. They enjoy late nights snacks like scrambled eggs and bacon sandwiches, left over rice with meat they can flavor an sear, just a meat and vegetable skewer, and other stuff like that.
#stars answers#omgkalyppso#fe3h ocs#glenn fraldarius#rufus cassius blaiddyd#rufus blaiddyd#darya ceridwen artemi#emyr artemi blaiddyd#glenmyr#rufya
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Dammit, I was writing this thinking it wasn’t going to be that long and then it got progressively longer 😣 I guess this sort of a prompt, because I got the idea off a prompt list. Don’t remember which list but it was like “You’re just realizing I have a crush on you?” Anyway here’s my OTP stargazing (you’ll get your smut soon enough 😂) FYI in my mind they’ve been dating for about 8 months at this point
Natalie is such an outdoor girlie 🤪 she loves learning about different plants and insects and then trying to find those the next time she goes on camping trip. Jane is no where near as into that aspect as Nat, but they too love the great outdoors. They’re a little nature couple 🥺 that also really enjoys being indoors due to things like ac and the internet. When Nat first gets back from New York, where she obviously didn’t have a ton of access to nature, she goes camping like once a month for a full year. Now, coming up on 3 years post Columbia, she brought that down to once every few months. But Jane, who is always so attentive and can tell when Nat needs it, will suggest an impromptu hike or in this case stargazing. Their stargazing spot is only an hours drive from their apartment(I don’t know Vancouvers geography and I’m not looking it up lmao, we’re going to go with just some miscellaneous big hill). When they get there, Nat is chatting about work when she finally gets a good look over at Jane. She thinks she knows her partner pretty well seeing as they grew up together and all that lol so she can immediately tell that they are extremely tired. They’d been dealing with several new additions to the museum causing them to stay late everyday (as someone who for a very short period of time wanted to be a curator, and talked to one who worked at a museum in Philly, staying late for them can mean 3am😭) but they did it anyway since they knew Nat needed this. Her dads most recent fall, which left him with a broken wrist, was still causing her extreme anxiety weeks later. They convinced her to go out with them and ofc Synth helped, otherwise Natalie would have gone straight back to her parents house after work like she’d been doing for weeks. They finally get to the spot, set up their blanket and just look up at the sky. Jane brought their telescope, which was a pretty expensive gift from one of their friends, but they just decided to lay next to each other instead. After a few minutes of Nat just pointing out the stars she thinks she can see and Jane trying not to doze off, Nat turns over and says she loves them and that she realizing she was in love with them broke her heart because she never thought they’d love her in that way. Sharing what’s on their minds is something that Nat’s parents taught both of them so they could have healthy communication 😭 Jane kind of scoffs and is like that’d never happen.
(A little poorly written dialogue to make this earlier to write and understand 🫣)
Natalie: “What wouldn’t?”
Jane: “That I wouldn’t love you. In any way. Because I’ve loved you in every way, more than humanly possible since we were kids.”
Nat is a gaping like a fish at this point: “But you never showed interest in me in that way. Not until I embarrassed myself by sobbing in the rain about you not wanting me.”
Jane laughs, lovingly, in her face: “Are you telling me you’re just now realizing that I’ve always been in love with you?”
Cue the Nat waterworks. Jane just coos and giggles at her reaction while pulling Nat to lay on their chest. To them, Nat is perfect and as far as they could tell she’s the only person on the planet that they could love in that way.
Stop this is so cute I feel like I should just hand this au over to u 😭😭 ur doing it more justice than me
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