#other people cant find them and enjoy them for themselves because they simply dont exist on this random website on the Internet
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Writting down facts about my ocs so that i dont forget
Caro siblings
Nilo
Nilo and Nini Caro are a couple of siblings with drastic difference between them. When they were 10 and 5 respectively their parents left them in a park and never came back.
Their parents gave them the basics to survive but refused to let them be out of the house or to get them registered, get them to doctors or schools, as far as the world knew Nilo and Nini didn't exist.
The pair of pups had to live on the streets for a few days before authorities went after them and they ended up getting adopted by a loving woman
Nilo is the oldest and biggest, he's 25 years old and he's 6'2ft tall. Nilo's ears and tail were cropped for aesthetic reasons because he thought his floppy ears made him look less intimidating and his tail was a liability
Nilo is hostile towards most people, he's very reserved, he seems to always be upset and he's prone to getting in trouble because he cant help snapping at people.
Nilo has always been very snappy however when his sister Nini was born he dedicated all that rage towards everyone who was a threat to her. Nilo is obsessively protective of Nini because she was the nicest thing he had as a child, his parents didn't give him toys or pay him attention, so when his sister arrived he promised himself to keep her safe and sound.
Nilo seems to dislike everything but he likes reading and wood carving a lot, his room has a good amount of sticks and logs laying around, Nini hates this but the smell of wood is relaxing to Nilo
When at work Nilo normally only beats up his targets to get them to pay their debts but Nilo has indeed ended a few lives now and then. He's aware of how awful his actions are, he isn't proud that he lives to hurt others but he always reminds himself that its all so his baby sister is fine and well
As a child Nilo knew his parents couldn't afford keeping themselves alive, much less he and his sister, so even as a pup Nilo started getting involved in illegal businesses so he could buy candy and toys for Nini, it wasnt nothing serious at the time, he sometimes got payed by teens to hide drugs or to deliver them to someone but these actions gradually became worse. This didn't stop after getting adopted which eventually led Nilo to become a "collector". He keeps this a secret from everyone, specially from Nini.
As an adult Nilo still is a collector but as he got older he got more violent and more elusive
Nini
Nini is the youngest and smallest, she's 20 and 5'2ft tall, she has a chonkier complexion than her brother because Nilo developed an habit of always bringing her food which causes her to be a bit on the chubbier side, however shes very happy with her body and she knows shes a pretty girl(sometimes she uses this to her advantage)
While their parents never were quite fond of them Nini was definitely the favourite child, her parents enjoyed dressing her up so they could brag about her but other than that they just had Nilo look after her most of the time
Nini is very popular everywhere she goes because of her sweet personality and her looks. Nini is known to be very flirty but also very selfless, Nilo scolds her all the time for being so trusting of others. She's too good for her own good
When they got adopted Nini became infatuated with the hobbies of her adopted mother, she enjoyed everything related to sewing and knitting which greatly interested the young Nini. When she grew up she started her own little business as a seamstress, however she often loses resources because she like making plushies for the kids in town and almost never charges for it
Nini is very bubbly and sweet. Much to Nilo's dismay she's very popular with men, Nilo dislikes this because he doesn't trusts anyone but what he doesn't know is that Nini has had plenty of boyfriends and girlfriends.
Nini has a rather old fashioned dream, she wants to simply find love and have the happy family she lacked as a pup. Nini tends to disregard her brother's worries but she loves and respects him deeply. She's completely unaware of how her brother makes money
Nini is known as the town's seamtress while no one knows what Nilo does for a living, they just know he has to go to the city to work. Nini often defends her brother when people start gossiping about him
Given that Nilo has always been overprotective of her Nini became very good at sneaking out for parties and she has had her fair share of romantic experience
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hi saul - do you mind if i ask you about what sort of stuff/signs in writing tells you when the author is using abuse cheaply? you made a post about it a few days ago, and as a writer and reader i thought id ask so i could watch out for that sort of thing. conversely, do you know any books that you consider to portray abuse well? of course feel free not to answer, thank you for your time anyway
It's a lot, let me tell ya.
thank you for asking, also please excuse my atrocious grammar.
Take these with a grain of salt, but all these are just what i noticed reading cheap books while i was traveling. these books are cheap for a reason, theyre bad, and most likely not representative of good literature. I tend to enjoy mostly mystery books as well as classics, so i dont go about choosing books that are good at depicting home lives of abuse victims consciously, and dont really have any recommendations on books that depict abuse respectfully. i reckon other people will though if you search well enough youll find books written by people who were abused and chose to share thier stories through non fiction or fiction, or find books written respectfully that tackle the concepts of abuse. but what im going to talk about right now is how apparently a lot of authors cant find any good ways to handle abuse as a topic without being immensely disrespectful to multitudes of people- just solely based on my observations from the many many terrible books ive read over the years, mostly shitty thriller novels that exist to shock people crassly.
the most common cheap mentions of abuse that i have commonly seen and read tend to be as such: evil 'crazy' villain was abused as a child which leads to why he's evil, abusers are all people who have personality disorders cause mental illness is 'crazy' and leads to evil people, abused children are 'damaged' and such will do bad things if they become 'crazy' enough, etc. It's always related to some sort of nonsensical pathologising of completely neutral conditions people have, and the demonising of already vulnerable groups of people by showing them as abusers, even though these people are most likely victims of abuse. This is the main sign that the abuse mentioned in a story is most likely being used as a scare mongering tactic against mentally ill people, for nothing but shock value. I find this to be one of the most common, cheap uses of abuse as a topic in (mainly horror and thriller) books.
The second most cheap mention of abuse is this very strange twisting of abusers as people who have he capacity to change, as some sort of optimism porn or something. In my experience and the experience of many others, its insulting that books make it seem like abusers are secretly good people who are just misguided and will change on their own 'once they realise'. Or that they can make up for their behaviour through apologies and actions, because 'actions speak louder than words'. The idea that everything can be forgiven through the power of change or some magical bullshit, incredibly disrespectful to victims of abuse. Abusers are repeat offenders, and rarely are they ever people who just have one form by which they abuse people. Physical abuse comes verbal, and emotional. but most people only focus on the physical and verbal, and think that if someone shows abusers the 'right way' they'll simply learn their wrong ways and change. thats not how it works, you would never abuse someone if you were secretcly a good person. theres a fundamental flaw in giving the benefit of the doubt to people who have done immeasurable damage to their victims, theres nothing to achieve when you dont have more empathy and compassion for the victims and their pain.
A lot of abusers were abused themselves as kids, and so choose to continue the cycle of abuse, but this cannot be used to create a form of 'oh they were so hurt and they dont know any better' type of image. because they do know better, but they dont think theyre being abusive, cause they think they have the right to behave the way they do. You can address what led people to be the way they are without absolving them of their behaviour in fiction. in the end theyre all characters but the least you can do to people who were abused by people like these characters in a similar fashion is to not write abusers like they are not responsible for their actions, jsut because they went through the same thing in the past. theres no valid reason to be an abuser, and there never will be.
the worst of all is obviously with those 50 shades type romance thriller novels that romanticise misogyny and abuse, we all know about this, some new romance novel or the other with 'spicy' scenes becomes popular every few weeks on tiktok, ahem hem for example The Wives by Tarryn Fisher. terrible book, its so fucking terrible, its downright evil.
for writing tips on accurately and thoughtfully depicting abuse, you have to actually read or listen multiple people who have shared their experience with abuse. Be intelligent with how you use resources available, and dont fall into the trap of following easy but damaging tropes to shock readers.
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what are your in depth thoughts on russian doll, if you have any you dont mind sharing? that show fucking broke me
this is like one of those things that i don't think i could ever answer, it exists in conversation with so many other things and i tried anon i tried answering it but i get overwhelmed so easily these days, ive been mostly surviving these years and much like nadia
it all seems a rush, and a bore, and like things are more real when they're out of focus but that's a lie because i've been surviving, i don't know what life is like but at moments, and some people would say that's how happiness works, but some people don't know what it's like to live in poverty and with ghosts that were born inside you and ghosts that are given to you through heritage and culture
i feel like russian doll got me on that level like the poverty part even moreso in part 2, because i feel like a huge part of surviving it's having the means so that what you've learned can be passed onto others and even tho i have felt small most of my life once i gained a sense of self i did feel like i could tell whoever was willing to hear me that they didn't have to suffer for life and well there's so much more i could say but i don't feel like i could do it justice
there's a careful attention to history and family that i adore, that nadia can get to contextualize her story with that that the whole world tells it's also very precious to me, i feel like even if it's unintentional it exists in conversation with things like cien años de soledad and the sopranos both speak about mental illness but simply illness and rot at the heart of certain parts of our heritage, but when i say rot, i mean it in the sense of possibility for growth and so much more, both good and bad, both happy and sad, both filled with grief and love, so you know, possibility like if nadia knows her past and learns to hold onto it without losing the present.... ah but they also showed how hard those lessons come by, is it our society's propensity to leave us isolated, is it pride that is inherent to the self changing and becoming and accepting other worlds?
like the way alan and nadia held on to the wrong things so they think their big actions are the ones changing their fate when it's that contrarian desire and fear of change and their personalities ultimate that have a bigger hold in their ancestors family and like it's so heartbreakingly beautiful how they end up repeating the cycles of their family despite telling themselves they had been different than those that came before them or that they were honoring them but their own selves always break through, either fear or impulsiveness they still fall back into themselves as they walk the steps of their families and like what do i do with that what i do with that, if the past cant change can it at least hold a different meaning like can it at least do that?????
my grandpa died recently and i do feel like sometimes magical realism is sth not one soul will understand but the people living it here under their latin american roofs, but russian doll's actually gave me hope for literature's heart, it really did, it understood what it means to live within spaces that won't allow for you to not seem them as alive as you, as growing as you, it won't allow you to walk without the ghosts of the history we have made, even if you want to ignore it, the ghosts are there and they want release
on august 8th my grandpa died, i entered my formal job again, im a teacher and i couldn't sleep the entire night, we had been dealing with an infestation and we've been doing weekly culls. i get nervous on first days so i went without any sleep to school from the first hour cause i asked for more hours, i actually enjoy teaching so much, i couldn't tell you however how that first day went, confidence isn't my strong suit
i didn't find out my grandpa was dead till the next day, after the first class i went to the bathroom, and i found a bedbug in a hoodie i took for the cold, it was on the sleeve hidden between the folds, probably came from some place it was hiding in my room in the morning, very thin, shining red still however, but not a drop of food in it, i was disgusted ofc because i was at school i just took it and squashed it, but it felt weird, almost like sth else leaving us
if i referenced cien años de soledad it wasn't on accident, i feel like gabriel garcía marquéz captured sth of what spain really left behind and i have come to realise that it makes sense that some of the brokenness i feel in méxico it's probably in colombia and many other latin american countries, a similar rot, unattended, unable to grow, when i squashed that bug it felt like the ending of the infestation and from that day on we haven't seem any living bedbug and i got home late in the afternoon, my parents were speaking of their inability to reach my grandpa, it had happened before but this time they sounded alarmed, they probably had sense it as well, my grandparent already had rejected protecting his heart, it's clear he wanted to go
tuesday came and they went and ofc he was dead, he was dead and i alrready knew it, i already had felt like my grandpa because of what he required to be taken care of because of his age but as well as his stubborness in taking care of himself and being conscious of others he always behaved like the macho with the woman behind him, and my mother wanted that for me, im neither a man nor heterosexual so that ofc meant if their rot couldn't get in me the normal way, i guess abuse could be an answer as well, idk
anyway like i said what i could say grows infinite, even everything everywhere all at once and on sundays she picked flowers by yah yah scholfield as well feel like they exist in conversation with it like , it's just that sometimes we get to make right as well as peace while alive, and sometimes we get neither and we to just sit with the rot and it doesn't grow till maybe later, and maybe we get to see it die and we really get to grow sth entirely anew, and although it hurts i love the media that says that history matters in ways we never imagined it could because i feel like we keep looking away and it just won't do to keep going forward without sitting a little bit with what's already there like i want the world to stop and stare, just stop and stare, for a single minute maybe, the whole world
#el suco answers#anon#that train is where we sit with time#public transport as a liminal space#russian doll
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the argument of “you cant like micah because hes a bad person, but you can like the others” is so funny. the gang is all bad people, theyre all outlaws, killers, etc. and the whole point of the game is redemption!!
some characters choose to be redeemed, such as arthur and john, who realize their flaws and attempt to improve themselves.
others dont, micah and dutch continue getting worse. but just because they don’t have a redemption arc, doesnt mean that you cant like them.
you can simply like villains. thats it. you can find them interesting, hot, relatable, etc. you can do whatever the fuck you want, to be quite honest.
even if other characters did redeem themselves, that doesnt mean that the blood on their hands washes away. that doesn’t mean all the innocent people that arthur murdered have forgiven him. that doesn’t mean the strangers the women of the gang robbed have forgiven them. that doesn’t mean the bounty hunters that athur and charles murder whilst saying trelawny have forgiven them. and so on.
everybody in this game is shitty. everybody. the game is all to do with perspective, because back then, everything was shit but you had to choose which shit you can tolerate the most.
i mean, jack grows up to seek revenge and murders a man who was only doing his job. so thats okay? so murder is okay but were drawing the line at racism? in a game set in the 1800s?
and what about javier? the man who sides with dutch and also spirals out of control, becoming a villain in rdr1. he’s a villain. so, we’re not allowed to stan him either, right?
obviously racism is bad. holy fuck, do i really have to repeat that? but a lot of the gang members are racist, in ways that you may not think. ive recently seen the argument that arthur calling lenny ‘boy’ is racist. okay then, cancel him. or are you going to sweep that under the rug because its arthur?
you personally can pick and choose whatever you want to enjoy. thats fine, thats always been fine. but to pick and choose for other people? man, grow up. if you cant separate fiction from reality then thats your own damn fault.
and if you decide it’s okay to stoop to micahs level, to abuse another person who has never ever once supported micahs actions, to put false claims in their mouth, man, you’re just as bad as micah, if not worse. because this isnt fiction, this is real life, false accusations can really damage a person, plus, you know, you’re just a shit person for abusing others also.
to be quite honest, im never going to change. i used to think micah was just an okay character until people began telling me that im not allowed to enjoy him. im stubborn, were all stubborn. telling somebody they cant enjoy something is only going to push them to enjoy it more.
and y’all arent going to change. y’all are going to continue thinking ur in the right and whatknot. alright, you do you, i do me. the block button is a free feature that is very much encouraged to use when you see somebody that you dont like.
blacklists exist. use them. filter out the tags you dont like. block the characters you hate, the ships you hate, the people you hate.
everybody has their own responsibility to filter out the content they disslike. its YOUR responsibility, not anybody elses. and you can’t go onto somebodys blog and moan about their content, like.... dont go on their blog then? block them.
also, theres real life people out there who are racist, who are pedos, murderers, rapists. there are people out there who are actual villains, but you wanna attack somebody simply because they like a fictional character?? what?? why are you turning a blind eye to the real villains?
go and do something useful. go and fight the real evil out there, not somebody on the internet whos fucking horny.
practise what you preach.
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My apologies, another person in your replies said “Anon you realize that exact logic is and HAS been used to justify the deliberate misgendering of trans people, right” and I thought it was you. Anyhow, there is no reason to get so nasty, I’m just asking you to explain your thoughts on this since you frequently post in the tags with your opinions. Being a “boy” or a “girl” is a social role, not necessarily a gender. So, yeah, it’s possible to take on a different gender role than the one associated with your gender. Since roles are often conflated with gender, they tend to be used interchangeably. People who are PNC often use “wrong” pronouns to express their complicated relationship with gender identity. Aside from this, some people use certain pronouns for themselves because they simply enjoy them, which is their own prerogative. So, then, you’re against being PNC because 1) it’s too complicated for you personally to process and that is somehow deserving of your vitriol and 2) you feel that English grammar and syntax rules are more important than respecting people’s referential language? How is challenging language any different than challenging gender stereotypes, as one would do being GNC? Do you prioritize your comfort over the dignity of other transgender people, or do you seriously think that language is sacred? Words are created all the time and definitions change with their usage. It sounds that rather than even attempt to accommodate your brethren, you would prefer to latch on to the anti-PNC position so you have some excuse to not challenge your notions of “gendered” language. As a person with an auditory processing disorder myself that impacts my life greatly, that is not an excuse for you not to better yourself, even if it is difficult for you. Other people do not deserve your anger for simply existing with pronouns that challenging the status quo. If you *definitively and actively know* a person’s pronouns are contrary to their appearance or identity and you refuse to even try to refer to them properly, that is not an issue with processing, but with conflating pronouns with gender identity at the best and willfully choosing to disrespect them at the worst. That can’t be explained away by saying you have a processing disorder. Do not attempt to paint being PNC as ableist because you are unwilling to challenge your deep-seeded, actively obsolescent beliefs. Having a processing disorder makes people rely on context. If you are communicating with or about someone whose pronouns you know, PNC or otherwise, you have been provided the context. You are choosing to either ignore it for your own comfort and a lack of desire to improve yourself or because you think language is more important than people. If I’m wrong, prove it.
i didnt mean to get nasty i just dnt have a good concept of whats too mean n stuff.
i love that you consistently add more to what i am saying and look to deep into it to paint me as a bad person but i will get to that later. its hard to pay attention to one thing at a time but i will try 2 go in order.
being a boy or girl isnt a social role,, its just being a girl or boy?? like a kid female n kid male like. thats not a role thts a fucking.. way to describe someones gender when theyre a kid?? like i cannot even understand why i have to say that. wtf do u think being a girl/boy is?? its a way to describe someones gender, like pronouns. not a role or gender expression.
im not against it because its too complicated or that i want to disrespect ppls pronouns or something like that you want to put into my mouth. challenging a language is different than challenging gender rules because language was made with a purpose and one that still matters today. gender roles never served a solid purpose, them getting removed doesn't matter at all.
this is really pointless because youre going to keep refusing to recognize that language is important and that pronouns aren't something that you just use to make yourself happy, they are a tool in language that serve two singular purposes. to replace a name. and to describe the person in a gendered way. getting rid of gender should just mean getting rid of pronouns all together because they are pointless without any description of the person that they are being used for. because then you cant fucking tell who they're talking about at all. this is why robots struggle with pronouns :)
its funny to me that you add "appearance" to "identity" as if 1. they match. 2. that i at all ever said they have to watch appearance. if you didnt know im NOT PASSING. 3. as if appearance matters <3
this isnt about me wanting to be rude or not challenge gender roles or anything, im a very gnc man myself. this is about the fact that pronouns only real purpose is to tell you what gender someone is, not if they're masculine or feminine or just like the sound of them. this is why getting called "she/her" makes the majority trans men dysphoric, but why wearing dresses or having traditionally feminine roles won't make the majority of them dysphoric.
you clearly aren't listening to what im saying so i dont see why you insist on replying and putting things in my mouth from finding excuses like "someone else said it" to whatever youre going to make for trying to say i just dont like people who r pnc and am using processing an an excuse, instead of an example of why its important this time.
language isnt more important than people, but people can not exist as is without a way of communicating. trying to tear down communication because you dont like its rules just make what it is to be human harder to be. i cannot be myself to anyone else if there is no words to describe who i am in a strictly male or unrelated sense. there's a difference verison of you to every person you know, and you can't make it remotely accurate without the words to express it.
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pls pls pls tell me you guys know the difference between "straight girls fetishizing mlm relationships" and "people are allowed to genuinely enjoy fictional sexy content regardless of whether or not they're the specific demographic partaking in the sexy content" PLEASE tell me you guys understand the difference I'm LOSING MY MIND over the bad tumblr hot take that straight girls are automatically fetishizing just because they like reading/writing/drawing nsfw mlm content but theyRE GIRLS???? HeteRO FEEMALE???? ENJOYING CONTENT THAT DONT INVOLVE GIRLS??? GAAAAASSSSSP
theres absolutely nothing wrong with people enjoying content that is removed from their reality. Not everything NEEDS to be 100% relatable for someone to find joy in consuming it. can you even imagine if you switched it around and did that to lgbt people? “oh, you are a homosexual? sorry but you simply are not allowed to enjoy this straight romance because it. is. not. for. you.” or “oh, you are trans? you cannot, under any circumstances, consume this cis fiction you buffoon.”
bro! that would be so dumb!
Gay people can enjoy straight romances and straight people can enjoy gay romances. Hell, we should be ENCOURAGING people to seek out and expose themselves to stories and art that depict things they cant personally relate to. That’s one of the easiest and quickest ways for people to come to understand and respect other viewpoints, dingus.
Fiction is a beautiful and magical thing that has the ability to open minds to people and their lifestyles. And sex is and always should be something that we dont have to hide in a sealed box under our beds! There is nothing dirty or shameful about sex between two consenting adults and we need to stop setting up these fences to keep people from straying into territory that "doesnt belong" to them.
Fetishization is real and it does exist in fandom. But the internet has blurred the line between fetishization and genuine enjoyment to the point that these purity warriors cant tell the difference anymore. It's sad and its harmful and its yet another way to make people feel ashamed of themselves and too scared to join in on fandom, which is supposed to be FUN.
Learn what real fetishization is. Learn to distinguish it from the rest and take time to educate the people that do it. Because I'll bet that so much of the so-called "fetishizers" are speaking and acting from a place of ignorance and not any real malicious intent. they’re most likely young and just parroting whatever it is they’re seeing online. and we should always, always aim to educate before attacking
here are just a few, but fairly common, examples of real fetishization:
- calling gay people “sinful little babies” or anything long the lines of infantilizing and sexualizing in the same breath
- only caring about the sexual aspects of an lgbt character or real life person
- obsessing over whether someone is a “top” or “bottom” (and fighting with others when they disagree with you CMON that’s both gross and childish)
- basing someone’s “role” in a sexual relationship on heteronormative aspects, such as femininity or masculinity
- harassing real life people about anything sexual, especially if they are an lgbt person who you are trying to force your fantasy on (just don’t ever ever ever ever think to do this what is wrong with you people, leave them alone)
- using slurs. just. don’t. even if it’s in a teasing/affectionate way. just don’t. unless you are lgbt and taking back a specific slur attached to your gender/sexual identity, just don’t do it man
- being explicitly sexual and inappropriate in situations that don’t call for it (yo, if you wanna roleplay some raunchy stuff then find some consenting adults to partake in private. don’t come at people in a public space and start throwin out porn)
- pressuring writers/artists to write/draw porn???? this is wrong in multiple ways??? do not comment on a creator’s work with “make them fuck” or “when are they gonna have sex????” what is WRONG with you people (also, this isn’t necessarily a fetishization thing but don’t tell a writer/artist who does write/draw nsfw stuff about how you masturbated to their creations. it is pretty much guaranteed to make the creator uncomfortable and it’s just bad manners, thanks)
in conclusion, consume or create whatever fiction you want, babes, just keep in mind how straying one way or another could turn into fetishization and make a lot of people feel uncomfortable.
more than that though, if you stumble across someone online who says/writes/draws stuff that makes you personally uncomfortable, do not attack them. block them.
it’s quick, it’s easy, it’s stress free
stay safe, friends 🖤
#long post#sorta#just been thinkin thoughts lately#general rule of thumb is to block and avoid people who make you uncomfy#but it's good to understand too#not every straight girl is fetishizing by enjoying sexy content#its the year of 2020 and we are done shaming people for liking sex
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my 2020 fic writer wrap-up!!
this is going to be incredibly long (a total of 1.1k lmao) so imma put a cut here, but basically thank you for being here all throughout my 2020! i appreciate you all very much <3
fav kind of fic to write:
i love writing about mutual pining slow burn process of getting together but i have NEVER WRITTEN ONE IN MY LIFE so i hope to change that in 2021
in 2020 i discovered??? humour??? so i enjoy writing about that and when people tell me i’ve succeeded in making them laugh it’s all 😳😳😳 for me
hardest fic to write but also most proud of:
to write you a song was a fic i struggled with from all of april to june which is very long?? to me??? considering i usually sit down and write things in one seating. fully fleshed ideas don’t usually take me thaaaaaat long to crunch out, but for some reason i struggled bad with this bc I really didn’t know where i was going w it lol
LA LA LAND gets an honorary mention of it’s own simply because it was 44k, and it took me all of july-september, but it’s something i still am proud of! to show how difficult it was to write/plot here’s the spreadsheet i had to use to keep track of the scenes and the chapters djkgfsjdfkjhgd
Shout out to kiroiimye , sweet , sirius and krypt for keeping my sanity intact
easiest fic to write:
this genshin impact fic: The Land Favoured by the Wind but its because ive been thinking about this idea for more than a month lol so the actual writing and editing took me less than 3 hours
there were several others too, bc ideas then to hook themselves to me then refuse to let go fjshlfgdfsg
fav fic to write:
Most definitely this sakuatsu monstrosity here by the name of Miya Atsumu's unwavering love for Sakusa Kiyoomi and an unholy amount of terrible food analogies that should not have the right to Exist lol, I only came up with the idea of Atsumu asking Osamu how to make friends bc I was friendship pining for someone at the time and then proceeded to write the entirety of it in a feverish daze! It’s as of rn my top hit / kudoed / bookmarked fic on ao3 and man, thanks for liking this as much as i did :’D
writing sequence:
i have to write from start to finish lmao i cant move on if the fic isnt chronological? the only exception was la la land bc it was too long and i had help from the spreadsheet so i alr knew where i was going i just had to write it down dfhdsfksfksdfhjg
deleting works:
the only fics i remember deleting are both first chapters of a multichap, bc i dont like having unfinished pieces on ao3, and far less if im not sure if ill finish them/if i dont know where im going w it!
if it’s dark history of shit 15 year old me wrote imma keep it there! it is an archive after all. go on, judge my fics from 5 years ago ahahahaha
best writing advice:
not a general thing and might just apply tome, but i tend to write in very convoluted ways and squish a lot in my sentences, or add to many unnecessary commas, so i received advice recently about being more mindful of the pacing and it’s helped me a lot!
worst writing advice:
none at the top of my head djgfkdsjfh if it’s bs to me i just forget it entirelyyyy
collab:
@actuallyasweetpotato (also aforementioned sweet) and i did a thing for bokuaka week!!!! you can find it here: under my breath and into your scarf
wips:
9 unfinished zine pieces, 3 commissions, 1 exchange piece, about 10 or so other things
fav story of another writer:
favourite things
manly man falls for manliest man krbk fic!!!
gently, like a winter wind iwaoi birthday fic
sunchaser krbk fic
JUNO atsuhina fic
best review:
dude i cried
and shoutout to tien , sirius for fan art, fan comics, fan animatics of fics ive written, and shoutout to akemiiiii for this song they wrote i am eternaally grateful
worst review:
no negativity today!
prequel/sequel to other people’s fics:
none at the top of my head hm, but if anything probably any of kiro skk stuff
do i reread my stuff:
yes, but only if they’re old enough for me to go “it’s okay even if i dont like it bc this is old”
published:
hopefully! even though i do take part in zines and i guess they already have been published in a broad sense
fav/least fav chara to write:
no one at the top of my head! it’s instinctive for me to go ahead and think about character motives whenever i come across them, so if i ever write about someone, i usually just put my spin/interpretation of a character in a way that i can comprehend. the pros of this is i can write about many people, and the downside is that these characterisations can come off as out of character to anyone who doesn’t agree w me hehe
deadlines or goals:
if it’s a oneshot that’s under 3k i usually aim to have it done within 24 hours of beginning the fic. even tho i rarely succeed, having that as a goal usually pushes me to get it done faster than i would have if i had no goal altogether! if it’s anything long i aim for 1k a day, tho rn all my deadlines are zine deadlines and on top of that there’s uni, so to say im not stressing about writing would be a lie LOL
fav writers: (am too shy to tag but i swear these people are literal gods)
chonideno (mag): tumblr | twitter | ao3
batman (teesta): twitter | ao3
maplefudge (raei): tumblr | twitter | ao3
trope never written, would like to try:
aforementioned SLOWBURN MUTUAL PINING ANGST W A HAPPY ENDING GETTING TOGETHER!!!
but also royalty au
trope you will never write:
haha loads
how long have you been a writer:
began writing around may of 2014!! it was a horrible piece but im glad i started somewhere
influences:
chonideno/mag is one! maggie stiefvater who wrote the raven boys is also one, among many others
hardest part of writing:
writing action? writing things that are happening right now, describing people talking, eating
easiest part of writing:
descriptions of people, places, feelings. internal monologues, the like
best part of writing:
sharing how i perceive the world w other people, and discovering other people agree
wip sneak peek:
cw: hanahaki, falling out of love
this was written in a friend’s dms lmao this is why i sound like this
something unique i bring to all my stories
i had a revelation the other day after talking to all my friends and realised i have really pretentious titles
IF YOU’RE HERE
did you know the wc of this thing is 1k words? idk why you stuck through all of that but thank you. i’ll keep writing in 2021, and all the years after that, and i hope i’ll find you doing things you love too :)
#liv rambles#sorry i am incapable of shutting the fuck up :relieved:#i will continue to not shut the fuck up in 2021 see yall there
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just watched The Guy Who Didnt Like Musicals a second time. i didnt really process the songs properly the first time and didnt like them but now i can actually hear the tunes as intended and i love this whole thing so much. so im gonna ramble about this musical for a bit. spoilers ahead if u havent watched yet (its on youtube)
ive seen a few of the theories ppl have about the delivery of the musical, and about what happens at the end especially. i think i wanna try my hand at it too because sometimes i enjoy interpreting details. and im a gigantic sucker for reprises that stitch together all the songs we just heard into its own frankenstein song that completely changes in meaning or tone based on all the info we absorbed over the course of the program. and boi the last song of the show sure fuckin delivers
ok well i need to start at the beginning though. some ppl are confused by what the opening lil song and dance is within the context of the musical, because it introduces the main character, but at that point no one is infected yet so it just seems like standard musical stuff in the viewpoint of the audience, who expects this. but the entire plot of this musical is that the characters’ world slowly BECOMES a musical due to alien spores from a meteor infecting everyone to act as a harmonious hive mind. so in this sense its two musicals at the same time: the musical that starkid productions wrote, and the looser ‘musical’ that the alien entity is orchestrating during its antagonism of the main character. i believe that the opener takes place after at least a partially successful domination of the populace, mostly because of the fact that the characters who participate in that song are referring to ‘themselves’ in the third person and are dancing all hunched and menacingly, exactly how the alien spore compels people to dance later on in the plot. that plus a line that i might be recalling correctly about how the main character is their final story to tell, makes me certain that this is the alien telling that story
as for the main character paul’s absence from that song, i really think thats something intended in the musical to introduce what paul is like in the most succinct way possible. the guy just did not like musicals. throughout the plot he is constantly defining himself by his lack of participation, so of course the cheekiest way to set that up is to have him not participate in the opener. i think the confusing part here is when the story actually begins, because if the opener was performed by the future infected characters, when is the line drawn to differentiate between the two musicals that are happening (starkid musical vs alien musical)? or is the whole thing a performance by the alien entity? in which case, everyone on that stage is simply acting out the story as determined by the hive mind. but to whom, if everyone’s infected? i’ll get back to that later
another thing i love about this musical is how gradually tired of paul’s shit the alien entity becomes over the course of the plot, as evidenced by the tone of the songs. it just gets worse and worse. the alien’s songs turn from sickeningly cheerful to enticing, to threatening, to evoking hopelessness, then finally to pressuring paul past his breaking point. some of the songs arent even directed at paul but the change still happens, which goes to show the alien entity’s frustration. and at the end when the infected find emma, the song is happy again. they sing that awesome reprise, a really energetic mashup in which its hard not to feel like the alien plague is unstoppable. inevitable, one might say.
speaking of the end... paul’s confrontation with the meteor (my absolute favorite scene that i would rewatch a hundred times except i dont want to get tired of it too fast) contains good information to understanding what happens afterward. paul tries to blow it up, gets distracted by the appearance of his infected acquaintances, and the longer he stays there the more infected he himself becomes, breathing in such a heavy concentration of those alien spores at the epicenter of its activity. until now, he has rejected actively being the ‘star of the show’ like the alien seems to... want him to be? idk, the point is that his character defies musical protagonist tropes despite how the plot follows him. the story is ABOUT the alien, but paul is the audience’s anchor. until he goes to blow up the meteor. at that point, the alien has him. he can barely fight back against his own body synchronizing with the other infected as they goad him into giving in, but he puts up a damn good struggle considering those impossible circumstances. still, for the first time, he participates. he sings. he hates it, but it brings out some interesting thoughts: does he hate it? did he ever? or is this just the spores talking?
but what part, exactly, does he hate? in a musical, the singing and dancing act is usually the method of delivery for whatever the character is truly feeling. it is an opportunity for the audience to connect emotionally with the person who is singing. but we dont have that with paul for almost the entire show. he doesnt participate. and he’s established in the beginning as selfish, kind of a dick, and not available to anyone (except emma who is the only person he even slightly opens up to. he tries to be more friendly somewhat with bill, i think, but even then that couldve just been to get him to snap out of it and escape the school). he said himself that people singing and dancing makes him uncomfortable. so all this is to say that, on a deeper level, i think the aspect of the singing and dancing that he hates, that he fights to resist, is the vulnerability. you can witness the madness and shame for yourself as he sings more and more, letting out his worries, unsure if his feelings are his anymore. but hey, he ends that scene with a statement reaffirming the self he walked in with (which is to say, a guy who hates musicals) and finally pulls his grenade. so its cool that he was able to resist that but. guys. if the spores didnt get him. that grenade absolutely did. he didnt even bother to throw it away from himself, he flung it down right in front of him. theres no way he didnt get blown to bloody chunks, fully intending for that to be his final act of defiance
but i think it was too late by then. he’d already breathed in so many spores, and we were shown earlier on that death is not an impediment to becoming infected. i think after he exploded, he was still absorbed into the collective and reformed as a new addition to the hive mind. his explosives might not have been enough to fully destroy the meteor. and thats why, at the very end, i believe that - despite his admittedly suspicious face journey during the song - he isnt faking it. because if he was, wouldnt the hive mind know that it doesnt contain him within it? not only that, but in the opening song emma is clearly part of the group. given that she is the only one who is undoubtedly not infected in the last song, we have to assume that she will be sometime after the finale of the musical.
and now im left with my unexplored questions: is this a musical played straight, or a ‘musical’ put on by the alien entity after it wins? and who is the ‘musical’ intended for? its fun to speculate but im not sure these are questions that can be answered by watching it a bunch of times. theyre aimed too much outside of the zone of operation, if that makes sense. its like, you cant ever look at your own eyeballs normally. you need a mirror or for someone to describe them to you. these questions exist outside of the limitations of the musical format, so we wouldnt direct them at the video, we would ask them of the creators. or not. its cool to not have all the questions answered too
ah i wrote a flippin essay, huh? i guess i wanted to prove to myself that my brain still works
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what is the rough timeline of natasha and charlie relationship? i love your fics and how its like little peeks into the development of it all and how it doesnt rely on them being together ll the time its lovely
HM HM HM okay let’s see... like i guess the thing is that ultimately is written for charlie and what i’ve done for natasha is being their own person is rly integral to them? like charlie grew up in a house where at any period of time, nine ppl were living under the same roof? like he didn’t have much time to himself that he literally upped and moved to romania lmfao. and natasha like, one day i’ll remember to post her family tree, but she’s in the same boat in a way, especially when her family moves from america full time. then she’s suddenly thrown into a household with all her extended family. they need to be their own people first, and i mean that independence does hurt communication and the needs of not just themselves but others as well and i guess that’s why i wrote the long walk for their relationship to finally find that point where they were like. yes. where their lines finally crossed over and stayed crossed over, instead of simply running parallel and sometimes moving in but barely touching?
this got long so under the cut
they do meet in first yr bc the game is LYING that such a SMALL CLASS POST-VOLDY wouldnt exist like a literal baby boom happens post voldy dying but the current kids around would honestly be rly small groups? hogwarts would be so EMPTY REAL TALK everyone also afraid to let their kids go to school
natasha asks for slytherin, should've been ravenclaw. much distress, and first yr in between running around with the vault of ice kind of finds her spending a lot of time in the towers and stuff. she likes high places.
this gonna sound bad but i dont rly remember much of the 1st yr of hphm apart from not sealing the vault properly, but anyway natasha and charlie were friends anyway that mattered and natasha wasn't a very good slytherin for befriending a gryffindor AND a weasley
second yr is kind of the time where she meets bill and like on the one hand is a little infatuated with him but they are rly good friends at the end of the day. she pulls away from charlie a bit bc of it but then again i figure around this stage charlie has started his crusade of entering the forest in some respects so like. he’s not even on the grounds half the time lbr. also, i dont remember much of this yr either a lot happened. but the ice knight was there.
third yr aka vault of fear! again, with the bs, i think natasha knew of everyone PRIOR to their intros and stuff so they’re all kind of good friends but ig this is also just my thing of like. small classes post war. even with the attempt at animosity between houses, especially post war, kids probably aren't going to do. that. and i know slytherin is all death eater kids basically but most of them are probably orphaned too by the end of the war. theyre all scared ANYWAY social circle expanding... idk this yr was a ride too i remember it a little bit more than the others ig. idk what happened here rly
OKAY SO FOURTH YEAR RIGHT that’s when it’s literally a year of dating charlie in game but whatever. so going from literally spending only classes together and maybe like the one christmas if bill and charlie stayed in the castle at the same time, natasha and charlie did talk and were friends but it was on the down low towards the end of third yr. until it wasn’t bc literally all the scheming to get into the forest and mr charlie ‘i asked my brother a million questions about you over the summer’ weasley just rolling up. and theyre in each others spaces A Lot which is kind of wild for the both of them considering they’re both from large families and personal space is A Thing™ they both really need but their friendship really deepens this year. they’re very honest with each other, and whilst bill is natasha’s best friend just because of how they click, her and charlie have this understanding between them that it’s hard to get between.
except fifth yr comes along and smacks everyone in the face. natasha finds out what puberty is over the summer, along with a prefect badge. charlie also has a bit of a growth spurt around this time, so they’re awkward and lanky around each other early on. natasha also dates myron wagtail during her fifth yr, as well as esther szohr and a couple of other ppl here and there. she’s all giggly and twirling hair and I'm so sorry charlie she just hasn’t noticed you at this stage. but it’s not rly a good year for her, mentally all around, so don’t feel too bad ig.
sixth yr she’s getting tired(er) and lightly dates other people as well. broke up with myron over the summer, and like. has started to see charlie in another light, kind of? but at the risk of ruining her friendship, madly writes to bill most of the time about ‘how do i get your brother to notice me????’ because communication is key and natasha doesn’t actually know what it is. she’s also named captain of slytherin quidditch team this yr, and well. ends up spending a ridiculous amount of time closer to charlie’s second great love. sees another side of him. swoons in the stands a lot. they kind of reignite their friendship as well, as it just politely simmered in the back. teach other spells. lots of touching with hands like no no wave like this... it’s very romantic and high strung and they’re dumb teenagers not sure what to do.
they mess it up over the summer between sixth and seventh yr tho. lots of kissing. some other stuff. natasha spends a bit of time with the weaselys before returning to hogwarts. hormones everywhere.
seventh year starts with them kind of tiptoeing around not knowing where they stand relationship wise, and they’re not!! good!! at talking!! so it’s like a big drawn out game of whispers to figure out who said what but it breaks off bad and natasha cries a lot and charlie feels awful too and they’re mopey and shit for a while. like they can’t be in each other’s spaces for a while that they kind of completely withdraw to their own houses sort of thing. eventually, with a few helpful nudges and stuff, they at least talk to each other but don’t know if the friendship is there. 99% sure penny was ready to amortentia the both of them to ‘fix things’ and also just to prove she could do it. also probably didnt help that barnaby and a few other slytherins jumped charlie and quidditch team as 1) for natasha but also 2) for quidditch and that also really prompts natasha and charlie to talk because they rly cant let ppl do it for them lol
same year still, but as things start to improve and they can somewhat pick up their old banter without getting sad, bill invites natasha over for xmas because he’s actually given it off. never mind that in between all this, natasha took to writing to myron again, which just. not nice natasha jfc. natasha and charlie enjoy an incredibly awkward trip back with some UST, kiss again in the spot where they pretty much shared their first kiss, refuse to talk about the kiss, natasha buys charlie a new wand, they try to talk about it but its mostly natasha apologising for being a brat.
theyre still not back ‘on’ though, and have some make outs in locker rooms anyway, to the both of their confusion. are they ever going to talk? no. UNTIL ENOUGH IS ENOUGH and natasha’s not good at words but she’s good at actions and yknow what? fk it. slytherin might’ve won the quidditch cup, but when she landed in the middle of the pitch, and charlie reached out to shake her hand, she grabbed the front of his uniform and pulled him in for a big damn kiss in front of literally everyone, cup in her other hand. she keeps a photo of it on her at all times after that.
i also have a fic I'm writing that was kind of before the celestial ball was announced where they organised kind of 7th yr graduation dance thing and it was going to be quiet and intimate kind of and natasha and charlie end up finishing the night together, falling asleep on a balcony and waking up with each other sort of thing lol
and that’s only ‘91. late ‘91 is when they separate for job opportunities. natasha goes to work at gringotts for a bit with bill, and charlie goes off to romania. they get a few weeks in of summer loving before, though, also post graduation celebration. but they write constantly and stuff. pursuing their own lives kind of starts to become a thing.
in ‘92, early they kind of make a vow to each other when they get a bit of time off and go to greece. its very romantic and a big step forward in commitment for them, as they don’t really see each other for the rest of the year. also, late 92 natasha starts working at durmstrang, which removes her even further from the stream of things.
early ‘93 is not a good time for charlie because of what happens to ginny and ron, so he’s not exactly in the best mindset as theres some self doubt at removing himself so much from his family, he cant be there so easily when they need him most. midway through ‘93, natasha gets attacked at durmstrang, and it takes ppl a while to actually find her. charlie spends a long ass time in st mungos beside her until she wakes up, and they reaffirm their feelings for each other when she does. natasha admits that she had called for charlie, being the last thought she had, and she creates the little runic stones for the both of them as a way of contacting each other, or just reminding them the other is there.
natasha returns to working in late ‘93, and in ‘94 they see each other again at the world cup. i know i said they took a break and ig they did but its easy for them to flirt dumbly until things go to shit with death eaters. until they punch one! and later on natasha is brought in as hired help to tutor the students brought to hogwarts, but because her ‘inside knowledge’ of the school is valuable. her and charlie hook meet up quite a bit when he’s present for the first task. also because she’s hanging around for the entire year, she is there for the yule ball and stuff. lots of writing to charlie like do you remember when we danced? so romantic.
idk what happens in ‘95. i haven't planned anything. same for ‘96. short of natasha going to romania to visit charlie a few times, and how her work ends up bringing her into the ministry a bit. its not the same kind of cooling off as hogwarts where they question the relationship, but apart from letters they dont really see each other.
in 97 however!!!!! bill and fleur’s wedding and like. they spent a bit of time apart again, so natasha puts on her best to impress her boy. and charlie wants to propose but also because he’s totally smitten by the idea of making it real between them as a proposal via ribbon only does so much lmfao. and they get interrupted! and separated for quite some time actually. natasha ultimately returns to her family, for the larger part of 97 she's working with them as they deal with the fact her grandfather made a deal with death eaters, and that her ancient family history is coming back to bite them in the ass. like i know in the books they say charlie went around recruiting foreign wizards but thats so HANDWAVEY of jkr yknow? granted she never rly sounded like she knew what to do with charlie apart from shipping him off to romania. I'm sure he went to romania like YO we cant let this happen come with me when it mattered, but you’ll have to fight me to convince me he wasn't with his family for a large part of the story, and that he wasn't doing underground work and stuff in the mean time (you can’t change my mind)
in 98 though everything goes to hell for natasha’s family and she, in a moment of panic, calls for charlie. and he literally runs to her, and they both nearly die for it, but like he finally sucks up the courage to ask her, for realsies, if she would marry him. its been like 10yrs of will they wont they for them and only so many bets can be placed.
they get married late 98, and i know i never quite decided on smth big or intimate, but i think i’m happy with a ‘they had a big damn wedding and it was ridiculously opulent and flowery for autumn where you would’ve thought it was spring sort of thing. or maybe even something blissfully wintery. they’ve moved out of their summer romance phase, where it only came around for a few weeks at a time. relationship development.
DO THEY HAVE KIDS I CANT DECIDE i guess the eldest would be born some time in 99? and then from there a general progression lmfao but YEAH
also in regards to like the celestial ball i understand why the canon characters weren’t involved, but i’m just smad. barnaby was rly cute though so... THERE YOU HAVE IT ANYWAY
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A week worth of lessons
For the first time ever in my life, im not trying to desire anything at all.
I’m not trying to make a wish come true or make up scenarios in my head feel real.
Im just being.
there were so many times where I gradually found myself wanting and needing more because I didnt feel good enough or okay and maybe right now I dont feel the best either but I dont really want anything aside from graduating and finding a way to work in something I love and becoming independent.
Love for me isnt really a real thing for, its simply a thing.
I slept with him last night and it felt beautiful but old in a way that didnt feel like it was necessary. I dont feel guilty but I feel like I might deserve more than just that. It was nice but the time apart has had me grow fonder of the time with someone that would matter.
Ive learned to accept that no one is worth wanting them to change. No one should be subjected to things like that, having a special agenda and pushing that onto someone?? Wanting to have someone be or see certain things? What an unfair way to find happiness at the expense of others. Selfish. And in a world where we constantly think that we are the main character, isnt it bizarre to be aware of everything outside and within and have to choose a living besides that. I purposly would like not to live that way. I dont wanna force someone to live in my reality unless they wanted to. I’ve wanted nothing more than having people around me that want to be around me purely. No second faces. And yes I would love to shape and create my life but I want to find the resources to make those things come with the least possible harm to anyone.
I want to also say that ive learned to appreciate my own company and my own being. There were many times where feeling like myself felt strange and wrong. How could someone be so comfortable and happy with themselves when ive been angry and sad and wrong and I haven't been the best on some days for myself or my life? How could I walk down the path and think I was okay and I was to boast to myself about who I am now? It occurred to me that I dont need to be perfect. I cant grade myself based off a week or day or month, life is way to long and fast to do so. Ill never see the gull picture. And that doesnt discourage me anymore, it helps me accept me in the different forms that I am. In the different facets that Im in. And thats not really sad, thats happy. That peace. Thats the life ive always wanted and wandered about. It makes me feel warm to see and understand me so much more, but I dont want that to go away and im afraid it will. I’m afraid that ill forget how this feels and that ill just collapse, because ive fallen down before...But I enjoy me and I want to keep me regardless of anything besides me, I finally want me more than I want anything else. I dont want this me to go away, I want her to exist and flourish forward with steady roots in me. Please dont blow her away, please let me keep her. I want her to shine through it.
Finally im grateful. Grateful because I have people on my side and maybe they dont come with me at every step but I see them be besides me. I have someone and somewhere where I belong and im seen. Thankful for being able to swim long enough to see this. Thank you Universe.
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Black Romance
The Black Quadrant of Troll Romance intrigues me to no end, and makes my thoughts churn like a creative slurry in a bucket, wandering what exactly its like under long term circumstances, the little intricacies of unwritten rules and expectations to be found within this sort of relationship.
How did it even first occur? What in Troll biology cause it to be a such a strong fixture in their social culture?
Perhaps these questions will be answered one day... probably in a way that makes me wish they hadn't and force me to moan like a lil bitch in disappointment.
We can only speculate for now however... which is what im going to do.
In its history, Black Romance likely started as a genuine desire to kill a rival, likely over the feelings of the same Matesprite, but unable to do so, in spite of the genuinely serious trying at mutual murder, only to find they dont mind each other so much, even if they dont like many other aspects about them~
Even though they try to kill their rival they actually begin to make one another as strong as possible through constant conflict. Like two Knights sharpening their skills in a friendly sparing match. After all, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. Given Troll society, they likely take this notion to heart.
Through this rivalry, their partner is made as strong as possible, so they may live to see each other again another day.
I think, in my opinion, a Black Romance is a relationship born of Hate and Irritation, but evolves into a genuine mutual love and respect.
It starts as Hate, but becomes Love over time.
They may start in opposite directions, but they ultimately end up in the same place.
Any actual pain inflicted upon your rival is to make them dulled and numb to that pain. Makes them ready to deal with it mentally. Their weak traits being absolved or mitigated to some extent, and their strengths expanded and reinforced.
The individuals, sharpen each others knives for their partners to use one another, so that they may also sharpen their skills, ensuring that they are both full prepared for the trials ahead.
A Black Romance usually revolves around the two partners actually trying to hurt and injure one another, both verbally and physically, but not cripple, maim or kill their opponent. Its the two trying to Dominate, but not so thoroughly as they cannot grow as individuals. To remove the blemishes in their techniques, working out the kinks in execution.
Blackroms must have times of bonding and enjoyment, a break from the conflict, to relieve stress... by ♠any♠means♠necessary♠~
This often revolves around the two Haters tending to eachothers wounds, and enjoying the typical Red Romance activities, like dinner and a movie, albeit with a side of snark, super sized. Probably poisoning their partners meal, just enough for them to get an upset stomach and vomit over it all.
Signs of affection take the forms of hand holding, kissing, and small levels of antagonisms such as harmless insults or mild scuffles. One method is manipulation to encourage romantic retaliations, such as stealing clothes, pranking their rival, or even publicly humiliating them in way that will embarrass them but wont destroy their standing or self-esteem.
Anything that gets under their skin without causing permanent harm goes and one must always be on guard and never show signs of weakness or reveal any information to their kismesis, lest they use this against their partner.
One sign of devotion in a relationship is wearing the colors of your partner. In the case of a Matesprit, its their favorite color.
In the case of a Kismesis, its their blood color, or at least a color they may hate.
All relationships are born of trust, but for a Kismesissitude, it is far more important, for they must both understand they are not trying to kill eachother while trying to wound one another.
A good sign of trust is allowing your Kismesis to wear your clothes with minimal reservation, as they probably wont destroy it outright, but probably will at least modify it, such as dying it another color.
This trust is what is crucial for it to succeed, they have to try and hurt without killing. And due to nature of the relationship, they try to one up each other constantly.
Stabbing someone in the arm may result in them cutting off your hand in response.
This often results in the one of them killing their partner kind of unintentionally while being caught up in a whirlwind of passionate hatred~
Sometimes in bed even.
These bouts of hate filled fighting can spill over into society at large, causing damage and injury to others and their property.
This is why the Auspices were founded~
The importance of the Auspice in a Black Romance is critical, for they serve as the referees, and prevent the relationship from getting out of hand. The loss of one or both individuals can be devastating to the group, especially if they’re of great standing and use to said group. Losing your own members to themselves is embarrassing to say the least.
They at minimum, keep the two individuals focused, preventing them from getting embroiled in their bitter dark chocolate freakishness, and having them stay civil as well as decent in public.
Anyone can be an Auspice, be they a passing stranger, or a concerned friend. But many Auspices are more permanent fixtures, usually one party members current Moirail or Matesprite.
But most often, it is normally a third party that is a mutual friend, that aides in keeping things from getting out of hand. A platonic friend that can help cool the flames and calm the storms, so the ship will not sink.
But Not All Ashenroms Are Platonic~
Some Are Polyamourous Relationships Where The individuals Engage in Mutually Consenting Frivolity In Their Own Various Ways, Be They ♥Flushed♣Or♣Pitched♠ And Can Vary On The Individuals Involved, Creating A Sort Of Menagerie Of Earthly Delights, One Could Compare To A Candy Store With A Wide Variety Of Sugary Treats To Suit Every Taste~~~
Which Makes Such Relationships Quite Appealing To Most People~
However, there are times when someone is Auspicing for their own selfish desires. Attempts may be done by the Auspice to change the nature of the relationship, and pull an individual into another Quadrant.
This is why they are known to be “Meddlers”, and prolonged Ashroms are rare, especially when they dont make it to the bedroom.
When they do make it in, its normally so the two individuals can pail and the 3rd party ensures they dont kill one another and nothing more. Once completed, the relationship may continue or end.
If an Auspice doesn't know what they are doing, they may be unable to keep up and be ineffective, or even make the situation worse.
But in the case that an Auspice does succeed, and pays their cards right, everyone can have a grand old time together, creating a rare instance where more than two individuals has a well balanced Romance with variety.
Black Romance often ends in two rivals breaking apart, either they cant handle the stress or one of them dies, usually at the hands of their partner. Or one of them simply gets bored, and doesn't feel fulfilled like they once were.
A Black Romance is after all, based in enthusiastic engagement, and it is not unusual for the relationship to end in mutual separation.
But there are times when one side loses the romantic aspect, and the hate turns true and genuine, and kills their partner on purpose.
There are even instances of cruel situations where one partner is manipulating their other for dark machinations.
Machinations that are Darker than Black
Abuse does often occur, but a proper Pitched relationship has consent, subtext and subtle hints giving expressing desires, and when fulfilled, there is aftercare, wounds are dressed, and reminders that there is affection. Should a deed go too far, a boundary overstepped, a true Kismesis will in one way or another, express regret and remorse over a transgression.
Transgression may include overly controlling behavior, emotionally isolating them, direct harm with intent to cripple or kill, engaging in a relationship with your Kismesis’s actual enemies who want to kill them, destroying what is valued and cant be replaced and manipulating them for personal gains at their permanent expense, especially when they cant afford it.
A Kismesis cares for their partners feelings and well being, and a good one goes out of their way to ensure they are secure and safe, even when having fun.
An abuser does not.
But then there are the very rare instances, where Kismesissitude is so strong and so stable and healthy between partners, that they seemingly end up in the same place as a end of a Flushed romance.
A truly loving rivalry, whose only goal in it, is the joy of having it.
When it happens, its like Black Magic.
The two seem to engage in bantering and mutual antagonism, yet its clear they’re enjoying each other in the act. Vacillating between Red, Black and Pale all within moments.
Should a Black Romantic Couple reach this level, they stay together simply because they love being together.
Marriage exists within Troll society, though it is rare, especially when its outside ones blood caste.
Black Marriages are particularly rare, as the process of getting Hate Married is rather intense.
A proposal involves biting off eachothers right ring finger and swallowing it. Which is pretty hardcore if you ask me.
Which turned out to be too hardcore, which was phased out for simply biting a wound into their partners finger instead
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Which was also phased out as it was a custom from a time before oral hygiene was a thing, people died due to infection.
Afterwords it became a case of merely scaring, then branding, then finally tattooing in your fiance’s sign in their blood color on your right ring finger.
A simple wedding ring is also acceptable, usually some cheap metal, like a Black iron ring.
Finally, the two tell each other a special secret about one another, usually something quite humiliating, as a means of making blackmail, so that either one wants to declare a divorce, they simply air their others dirty laundry.
#blackrom#black romance#Spade#ashrom#ashen romance#johnrezi#terezi pyrope#john egbert#homestuck#hiveswap
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I keep thinking about this and haven't been able to get it out of my head so I'm gonna put it here so I can look at it from another point of view...Something that confuses me about the human experience is that so many of us CHOOSE to simply exist instead of LIVING... Understanding and loving yourself because you are a valid human with a unique human experience is instrumental to true happiness. Until you understand the truth of your experience and how it has impacted you, you have no control of your experience and future. But once you understand yourself, your needs, your desires, where they came from, and decide what to keep and what to discard, you will only be what Life has made of you, not what YOU have made of you.
If you understand that nothing happened to you, YOU HAPPENED, well, then you have taken your first step toward real power... IF YOU TAKE ON THE VISAGE OF A VICTEM THAT IS ALL YOU WILL EVER BECOME. IT IS A TRAP.
Take your power back. Understanding isnt the same as dismissing the actions of others and the impact it had on you; BUT, when we aren't aware of what happened to us, why it happened, and how it affected us, then we repeat patterns that hurt us and those we love. It is in our nature to do what we KNOW, even if what we know is toxic. Knowing is half the battle. WILLFUL IGNORANCE IS TOXIC. Once you understand and can clearly see what you NEED and what you dont, you have the power to change it. YOU HAVE THE POWER TO SAY NO AS A COMPLETE SENTENCE. You do not have to explain yourself to anyone, though you can choose to share your experience with those you care for, the difference is that when you have to explain you are searching for their validation, when you choose to you have already validated yourself and only seeking to enlighten and allow them to understand you better and strengthen your bond. This difference will cause conflict and you will lose people, some of which you love. Sometimes we are so desperate for love that we latch onto anyone we can, and then we put up with abuse of all kinds to keep them!
Learn who you are and then improve upon it one step at a time! Who YOU ARE isn't FINAL until you CHOOSE to stop growing and changing.. no one else can change you without your permission, even trauma can only affect you if you choose not to process it and choose to keep it and not move past it...
All this takes time and determination. It is a battle with your demons, but when they are dominated and subjugated to YOUR WILL instead of you to theirs, you really start loving yourself. You GROW STRONGER AND BECOME A PERSON THAT YOU CHOOSE AND THEREFORESOMEONE WORTHY OF YOUR LOVE. You will lose things and people on a journey as long and difficult as this; it is unavoidable. You cant keep adding ingredients to a recipe that doesn't call for them and get the product you want. You have to make.a choice. The recipe, or the product. If you're ok with a slightly different product thats fine,, and can even improve it in ways you didn't anticipate, but the process ISNT EASY, which is why the majority of people will never reach their true potential. The process is hard but worth it. When you reach the platues qhere you ar content with the yield you have produced it is bliss. And when you strat to feel hungry again you know how to get what you need! It is no longer a struggle to find your way. When you love yourself and understand what you need, you can only improve your experience or choose to be miserable. Most people choose to let life HAPPEN TO THEM, instead of making sure that they HAPPEN IN LIFE, thus they are subject to their experiences instead of ruling themselves. You have to love yourself 1st. Drugs are a way to disconnect from yourself and your experiences, but they won't give you ALL THAT YOU NEED. They are a tool and should be used as such, and sometimes they are needed to get through some hard situations, but they should be an accessory to the plan and not your destination. Becoming fully dependent upon anything other than your own will is perilous, and is a pitfall alot of people fall into. You can climb out, but it is going to add more pain, aggravation, stress, and discomfort to your journey than you have to experience. You can choose to see the obstacles and choose to avoid the ones that already unnecessary. You can choose to do better and be better. You can be full, content, at peace with yourself and still have passion and desire and ambitions. Controling yourself fully is freedom. You cant control anyone else without damaging them and causing them to damage you in return. It is an unhealthy cycle that feeds into itself. The only person you should ever seek to control is you. Influencing others to collaborate with you and align themselves to a similar goal is fine,, but you can't force your will on others without doing damage and endangering yourself and all that you have worked for. Your life should be the most precious thing you have.
Also, When your needs are met, you can still want things. Your dreams are even more realistically achievable when you are secure in your own self and survival... but the SELF HAS TO COME 1ST. People cling to the idea that to be HUNGRY is the only way to keep your momentum. That isn't true. It can act as motivation, but like anything else, too much can break you down instead of propel you forward. You can be content and at peace and still keep moving toward your goals because it is your ardent wish to do so. It is just a choice instead of a need to meet those goals at that point, and you when you realize don't have to suffer between milestones, it is a life changing moment. Let your self confidence, self control, and self awareness carry you between milestones, instead of dragging yourself down the road starving, exhausted, and in pain until you reach your goal. Over endurance is another pitfall. Dont get lost in comfort. Being comfortable and becoming complacent are different things. If you approach life from a place of unfufilled needs and hunger, you will only every experience happiness as fleeting. You will become addicted to successes and failures will break you down instead of teaching you. Being content isn't the same as being stagnant. You can't give up your desires for comfort otherwise you become imbalanced and stagnated.
Another problem is that we give so much of ourselves to everyone else and keep very little to in reservefor ourself. This can cause burnouts faster than anything else. If you are giving when you are already in a deficit of self, you are inevitably going to burn out completely. We prioritize others above ourselves and waste ourselves and call it sacrifice.Your soul is yours 1st. If you dont feed it and care of it and keep sacrificing pieces of it for others you will eventually run out and not have the ability to regrow it. When farmers harvest, they store away seeds for the next season. You can enjoy your yield and still reserve some for later without fweling guilty.. it will swrve you better in the long run. It's ok to sacrifice pieces, as long as you save seeds to continue growing and cultivating. Cross breeding your soul with that of others that you learn from and connect with can improve your yield, or it can kill you. You have to be aware of what you're putting into yourself and what you're losing. If we float through life just existing instead of consciously choosing to stear ourselves we will remain lost forever. And you can't get where you want to go without knowing where you are and where you have been. Your soul is yours. Your life is your choice. If what you want is in direct conflict with those around you, you need to remove yourself from the situation. You can not force others to grow or understand or take the more difficult path and continue growing. My goal in life is to grow until I leave this vessel and become the next thing. I hope there is something next to become, but I dont know. Which makes it all the more important to be present and choose to LIVE instead of just exist or survive. Knowing yourself and exerting your will over your life is POWERFUL. Learning to properly balance risk and reward is crucial to obtaining your objectives. Balance is so important, and that means that if you have to be aware of not only mistakes, but overcorrecrions. With that power you can do great or terrible things. The important thing is that you have free will. No one can take that unless you give it to them! So DONT.
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i dont know if you're the right person to come to but i kind of have some thoughts on fandom women writing m/m sex. im def. not saying women can't write it (esp. considering theres a whole industry filled with men fetishizing lesbians, but thats for another time) but if all they talk and focus on is the sexual aspect and dont care abt anything else, it feels almost fetishy and dehumanizing? there's intersectionality btwn how women creators and gay people are treated but i cant quite grasp it.
i also forgot to mention in the last ask but i feel like the line btwn fetishizing and exploring can be awfully blurry and it’s kind of hard for me to consume media as a result. it’s weird, but i feel the need to look at the person and see what context it’s written in, what their background is, etc. i want to be critical of what im consuming and the person who created it and how im consuming but it’s just kinda weird and causes cognitive dissonance a little. sorry for the ramble.
hey, so, there’s definitely a lot that can be said on this topic! there’s a lot to unpack in your ask both regarding the fetishization thing and how you’re interacting with media. i think what you’re doing is important and you’ve definitely got the right idea but i can also really see where the dissonance comes in a little bit. it’s tough, because you sort of have to walk the line between “everything we consume is problematic, sometimes i just need to enjoy things” and “media doesn’t exist in a vacuum and we need to criticize things when they deserve it.” which – yeah, is a tough line to walk!
i think at a certain point it unfortunately comes down to individual judgement. i can think jk rowling is pretty shitty while still loving harry potter and what i was able to take from it as a child, while still acknowledging she could have pushed the envelope further. i’m having a much more difficult time knowing what to do with my feelings about rurouni kenshin. et cetera. basically, i try to enjoy things while still being willing to talk about the bad shit, but if i’m feeling like the harmful things way outnumber the good then i’m out of there.
so unfortunately all i can tell you about how you’re consuming media is just to to use your best judgement. we all need to let ourselves enjoy things. but enjoyment and criticism can and need to go hand in hand. so – just keep being conscious of it. engage and have fun, step back when you feel you need to do that.
when it comes down it, cishet women writing m/m sex is always going to send off a lot more danger bells to me than wlw doing it. which isn’t to say that all straight women shipping and writing m/m ships are bad, because that’s definitely not true! the answer isn’t to desexualize the ship completely any more than it is to point fingers at any straight girl daring to ship two men together, both options are bad. i’ve definitely seen straight women fans interacting with victuuri for example in a way i felt was very genuine and heartfelt and not creepy at all, and that’s awesome. the weirdness comes in context.
because you’re right – there’s a lot of bad crap out there that does come off as dehumanizing. the fics that completely toss aside any semblance of characterization for the “hot smut” or have clearly done no research into how (cis) gay men have sex and really are just there to focus on the banging. there’s way too much of that – and they’re often the most popular things in fandom (mafia aus, nympho yuuri, that rival au, etc). it’s gross, it’s uncomfortable. so i agree w you.
it gets complicated when you introduce 13-14 year olds to fan spaces occupied by 30-40 y/o women who are producing some of this content. it’s difficult to blame teens when adults should know better. yes, adults belong in fandom spaces. i’m an adult, i like having fun with nerdy things too! but adults also have a responsibility not to be fucking weird about it. younger people will try to emulate the older ppl and get wrapped up in fandom culture, which perpetuates itself, and it’s just a big cycle. sex in fanworks is fine, it really is. but adults in particular need to start doing some critical thinking about who’s sharing fandom space as well as whom their content might be harming.
so there’s an exploration aspect of young teens testing out sexual content, which isn’t inherently bad, but adults producing some of this gross fetishy “what is characterization i just want hot inaccurate unsafe sex smut” should know better. it’s harmful and hurtful. our sexuality does not exist for your entertainment and consumption.
to an extent this can be said of wlw as well, i’ve seen my fair share of it (especially wrt ~omegaverse stuff). this is not to say that trans men and mlm can’t and don’t enjoy this stuff, but they cannot fetishize themselves, that’s totally up to them to create and consume content about their own lives. but there’s an inter-community discussion, as i know there are differing opinions there. which just comes down to this imo: if you’re a cis/cishet woman, just…. think more critically about what you’re doing.
it gets more complicated with wlw i think because we don’t have a lot of stuff that reflects our own stories. i’ve talked a little bit before about how there’s a reason we latch onto male homosocial relationships in media, platonic or otherwise. at least for me, it’s because there’s just a dearth of women in media who even have characters, let alone unique or individual stories, let alone really fleshed out relationships with other women. male relationships are often given so much more depth, exploration, and respect in storylines that i think it’s easy to find ourselves gravitating towards that – especially when we’re looking for relationships of the same gender.
it doesn’t mean that women in media don’t exist or that it excuses any gross things produced by those wlw, because it definitely doesn’t. but i understand why we find those stories compelling. in my experience wlw tend to be more careful and aware of how they’re producing fan content for mlm (though of course not all of us!) simply because the stories feel more personal and they understand how it feels to have their sexuality and identity fetishized for consumption, and are actively trying to avoid it.
none of this ofc applies to every person belonging to each identity, so there are bound to be outliers and aberrations here. that’s fine! i guess this is kind of more of my rambling about general trends and observations.
basically – i think i share your concerns while recognizing that it’s a complicated topic. i like seeing people loving a ship for what it is and wanting to engage with it. gay ppl in particular are looking for stories about ourselves. and all ppl should be fine writing sex and exploring those aspects of relationships in fan content! it just comes down to being aware and responsible and knowing that media and fandom do not exist in a vacuum.
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I love skipping weeks of shows so i can be surprised when i tune back in. I think i lost complete interest in why r u tho. I mean like. I can only take so much making out if i wanted that id go against my principles and watch porn!!! why am i about to write a very poor stream of consciousness about capitalism and BL...there are many contradictions here. i am thinking out loud. it also shows that contradictions exist in life and nothing will ever be perfect. so if one thing is critiqued but may be in conflict with another, it is what it is. if u get it u get it
I would love to have a real discussion of tv and capitalism and imperialism and BL but i will just talk to meself. Lets just say i am frustrated that BLs are such a $ making machine but dont antagonize their world. this is anything that gets fed back to us under the guise of change or revolution. but it can’t be real.
we need imagination way beyond what we get. I dont know how to say this. But if anything this pandemic gives you, it’s a time to prefer revolutionary means and what better way than to explore and inspect the things you watch!
I really enjoy 2gether as something easy. but i dont watch on youtube because i resent how much companies can make off of what is clearly an exploitative genre.
it may seem like a stretch or too seriously but part of the problem is i barely take the genre seriously at all. i expect constant production. in a way it’s like kpop. but it’s still part of a culture and being released to the public.
still, how could BL be considered transgressive work? If we consider it to be so, are we going to go any farther? then what are we reaching for? Is it a step in the right direction? While saying that, can we acknowledge how things that are outside the norm can positively affect the world? I dont know.
i cant just find representation on screen without meaning if its to serve the society we exist in. being oppressed as a gender and/or sexual minority in asia is obviously rampant and real, but what does it mean when a company takes actors, mostly “good looking” men and women, and makes content with money functioning as the primary goal.
or what does it mean when directors who may be a GSM want to show that we can live “normally” and in this world? what does it mean when a script/show can’t break down its own intense misogyny? when homosexuality can be fetishized?
this is coming from my anarchosocialist whatever artistic opinion. i see the world through my eyes and my USian perspective can be a hindrance but it does not mean that anything is shielded from critique in striving for a world i want to live in. it’s not simply because i believe the west or america handles any of this the right way. in fact i do not believe in the west’s manifestation of transgressive or radical work.
progressivism is monetized. there’s a fetishization of anti-capitalism. the remnants of pain, imperialism, and the violence of the state to its own people is embedded (ie going to the military and that being valiant.) neoliberalism only recognizes co optation.
i think about every fucking time i have to hear “husband and wife” in a show and i remember where i am and the placement of this work. it’s true purpose isnt to really open eyes...after all, "Art is not a mirror held up to reality, but a hammer in which to shape it." and many times it may not even be the artist’s explicit intent (or they arent even allowed) but that means realizing what a GMMTV type station is about for the worker(s)
all of this has its own limitations and mechanisms built in to prevent it. there are censorship laws and for example in thailand it does NOT mean there are not artists making work to visualize their creativity and dreams and shit (there is a very popular homosexual thai auteur that i mention like all the time and i can never spell his name so i am just gonna put it here. i dont even rly like his movies lmao but they are politicized because of its nature...but also hard to show in his country. they are also all about what he feels like his home represents..you can guess how he feels)
not every artist will call themselves revolutionary or radical even. they just think its their duty to be the truth and that something that will be mass catered will hurt more than help. i dunno. i could keep writing. i dont think this means much in the grand scheme of things, though i know seeing existence means something. but how excited can one get with two men in a relationship but one of them was raped by the other? or their sexual positions are equated with gender? when gender essentialism exists?
multiple things can be true at the same time. i have never seen a western TV show with many trans people part of a cast (i’m not talking pose) or various representations of gender because that’s not how we work here. but gender expression in thailand operates differently. i’d love to explore that more. i love to see it. i guess i just wish it would really change the world.
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“Accountability breeds response-ability.” – Stephen Covey
If you have been following this weekly blog, thank you! This week’s challenge is to determine if you have been successful at adopting some of the habits I have suggested or any other habits you have decided to adopt. The best way to become consistent is to track our consistency.
“What gets measured gets managed.” – Peter Drucker
What gets measured gets managed, simply means that examining an activity forces us to pay more attention to it. The simple act of measuring and recording forces us to make more thoughtful choices and decisions. Budget experts have found that daily logging expenses can help people cut their spending by making them more mindful of how they spend their money.
The same is true for logging our food. A 2009 weight loss study found that participants who were asked to log their food naturally began to identify patterns, which made them want to do a better job of planning their meals ahead of time; this, in turn, led to healthier food choices. The group that kept food logs lost twice as much weight as the other study participants that did not log their foods. [i]
MyFitnessPal released an astonishing statistic that 88% of people who logged their food for seven days lost weight.[ii] The more you track, the greater your likelihood of reaching your goals. Your progress must be measurable to achieve it, and the act of measuring will automatically modify your behavior.
“If you want it, measure it. If you can’t measure it, forget it.” Peter Drucker.
Activity trackers work on the same concept of what gets measured gets managed. Monitoring your daily activity will automatically cause you to modify your behavior and become more active daily. You will start taking the stairs more often and parking your car further away from building entrances. Each time you hit your daily goal, it generates another small win. Small wins will help you stay motivated.
I think a simple notepad is one of the most powerful self-improvement tools in existence when used to log activity. Logging the activity creates awareness. Awareness is the first step in changing behavior. It is the first step toward transformation. When you log an activity, you become more mindful of your decisions, big and small.
Often it is the small, seemingly insignificant decisions that are sabotaging our success. Eating that cookie in the break room, losing valuable time by allowing yourself to become distracted while working on something important, skipping a workout, or staying up late watching TV instead of getting a good night’s sleep. Anyone of these decisions by themselves isn’t devastating, but their accumulative effects are. Whatever it is you want to improve, your time management, your leadership, your relationships, your business, your eating patterns, your exercise consistency, or your spending can be tracked. Be relentless. Track everything related to the behavior you want to improve. Awareness is the first step toward transformation. Bad habits are the result of neglect. Mindfulness prevents us from mindlessly doing things that are sabotaging us.
I am a firm believer in Peter Drucker’s management principle “What gets measured gets managed.” Anyone that has ever kept a financial spending log or food log knows that they changed their spending or eating behavior when they kept a record of the activity. When we monitor an activity, we naturally become more mindful of our choices. We automatically modify our behavior and make better decisions. It is so simple to understand, I am always amazed how many people don’t use it to improve their personal or professional performance.
If you really want to change a behavior track it for at least a week, a month would be even better, two months optimal. If you want to improve your performance, you must track your performance. If you cannot track it, you will not achieve it. Everything and anything you want to improve can be measured. You might think some things can’t be measured, like building employee loyalty, but I would argue it can.
If a leader wants to build loyalty in their organization, they could decide that twice a week they are going to visit two employees whose managers say they have been doing a great job and paying them a compliment for their excellent work. She could then inquire as to how they are doing and ask if there are any resources they need, including training, to help them be even more effective. Tracking her consistency would be the lead indicators, and quarterly feedback from culture surveys would be the lag indicator. Loyalty is a two-way street. Showing employees that the leadership values their contribution, and is committed to their professional development is how you earn loyalty.
Awareness is the first step in transformation. If we are serious about improving any area of our life, we need some method of tracking the behavior. You could use habit-forming apps like Strides, Streaks, Fabulous, and Toodledo, help you track and develop new habits. The Strides app allows you to create instant habits by programming action triggers. You can program multiple reminders for each task, and the app tracks your consistency.
Maintaining a checklist is a simple, very effective method of tracking consistency. Sabina Nawaz wrote a great article on the subject for the Harvard Business Review, Break Bad Habits with a Simple Checklist.[iii] The author suggests you make a list of daily habits you need to abandon and the new ones you need to adopt to move your career forward. The list you create must be actionable. If you are overly critical, you will create a daily habit of showing appreciation; paying someone a compliment each day for their good work. Recognizing what people do well, instead of fault finding.
Many people have an irrational dislike for checklists, but their effectiveness is undeniable. The New York Times Best Seller, The Checklist Manifesto: How to Get Things Right, demonstrates the effectiveness of checklists. The author was inspired to write the book based on the amazing effectiveness a 5-point checklist had on reducing death rates in Intensive Care Units (ICU’s).[iv]
The checklist addressed one of the most preventable causes of death in ICUs, central-line-associated bloodstream infections. The checklist reduced infection rates by 66% and is estimated to have saved 1,500 lives in its first three months of implementation during the Michigan Keystone: ICU Project.[v]
What was on this amazingly effective checklist? The checklist included: washing of hands; cleaning the patient’s skin with chlorhexidine antiseptic; putting sterile drapes over the entire patient; wearing a sterile mask, hat, gown, and gloves; and putting a sterile dressing over the catheter site once the line is in.
Many doctors resisted the checklist. They felt it was just another form to complete, and that it would prevent them from spending more time attending to the patient. Some felt the list insulted their intelligence since the items were so rudimentary. Nurses had to be empowered to enforce the checklist because doctors were often the ones omitting a step. Even after the results were announced some still thought it was not necessary, but when asked whether they would want the checklist used if they were having an operation, 93 percent said yes!
I have developed two checklists you can use to help track your consistency. I hope you will accept this week’s challenge and measure your consistency. We become what we consistently do. To be better, we have to consistently do better.
The Habit Score Card (pdf)
The Habit Score Card
The Habit Score Card (Example)
Habit Score Card (pdf)
Habit Score Card (Excel)
“We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do.” – Aristotle
“We become what we want to be by consistently being what we want to become each day.” Richard G. Scott
Until next week, good luck!
We become what we CONSISTENTLY DO. Change your habits, change your life!
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Best wishes and Best Health!
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[i] Lora E. Burke, PhD, MPH, FAHA, FAAN, Jing Wang, PhD, MPH, RN, Graduate Student Researcher, and Mary Ann Sevick, ScD, RN, Research Scientist, “Self-Monitoring in Weight Loss: A Systematic Review of the Literature,” J Am Diet Assoc. 2011 Jan; 111(1): 92–102. doi: 10.1016/j.jada.2010.10.008.
[ii] Mike Lee, “MyFitnessPal Works if You Use It,” MyFitnessPal, November 17, 2014.
[iii] Sabina Nawaz, “Break Bad Habits with a Simple Checklist,” Harvard Business Review, February 10, 2017.
[iv] Atul Gawande, The Checklist Manifesto: How to Get Things Right, Picador; Reprint edition (January 4, 2011)
[v] Sandeep Jauhar, “One Thing After Another,” The New York Times, January 22, 2010.
Consistency is more important than intensity. Small improvements hammered out daily produce unbelievable results over time. “Accountability breeds response-ability.” - Stephen Covey If you have been following this weekly blog, thank you! …
#Accountability#action#consitency#discipline#food log#habit#habits#log#routine#What gets measured gets managed
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The whole Bird People thing is so unrealistic..
Not because there are humans with wings and birdlike behaviour that basically came out of nowhere, simply because nature is weird and not because there were some weird experiments that tried to cross humans and birds. Given that they have been around for several 10.000 years makes that pretty much impossible.
No its unrealistic because the comic implies theres a bigass whole continent out there, bigger than Australia that we common humans simply ignore. For eons. We know that there are people there that are not homo sapiens sapiens and we just... dont do anything with this knowledge until the 70s.
Then we go there and discover that they are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more advanced than we are because they never wasted time with politics and wars and still dont do anything with this knowledge.
While in reality you bet your ass that at least America wouldve tried to invade that continent several times. (To get their ass beaten because just because the bird people dont have wars among each other doesnt mean that they dont know what warfare is) which would probably lead to someone dropping a nuke on that continent.
“They are not human and therefore they are less than us. Also I have tiny dick energy and cant stand the thought that someone could be more advanced than us white people”
But nah its peaceful and white people come as tourists and make an ass out of themselves and humans in general cant comprehend how a society without capitalism could possibly exist, ignoring that even human society worked pretty well without it for centuries.
The bird people dont even have money. Or any kind of politics. There are “mayors” of bigger towns but they dont do anything mayor-like. But hey, humans want to speak to the “mayor” or “president” so we sent a random person who looks good in a suit and say thats the president now.
To the bird people politics is stupid and instead of being on each others throats and trying to fuck the world up you could do something productive instead. Like art. Art is god. Or you could nap instead. I mean, hell, even sitting down on the floor and staring at the wall would be more productive than politics in most cases.
But yeah, the common humans come there and cant comprehend how they possibly could have computers and their version of the internet and cars and electricity that is 100% green and science and they have been on the moon while white people died from the plague and they had internet while white people discovered electricity. Like.. they had light bulbs and telephones and shit for thousands of years already. Cars are recent but why would you need them when you can fly anyway? And they all have that stuff without capitalism? Impossible? Why would someone work without getting a monetal reward? What do you mean, its human nature to wotk because you enjoy doing things??? No way, humans are lazy. I know that because I am lazy and I cant comprehend that other people could be any different from me! I am very intelligent!
Yeah... not realistic. Humans would have tried to annihilate them so many times...
Especially after finding out that they are not Exactly humans like us.
Or they would capture some and try to cross breed (which works just fine and there already are hybrids on the continent because you know... love happens) to gain some super human or some shit.
But hey, its my own goddamn story and if i wanna pretend that the world could function without us being shitheads for once then so be it.
Im sick of imagining horrible things. Its boring. I wanna think about nice things.
Like bird people who dont know what the patriarchy is.
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