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gh-0-stcup · 8 months

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Riley failed because the writers didn't understand the archetype they were trying to convey and their audience.

Riley's the all-American boy next door. His character model was so pervasive in other media because it's wholesome, simple, and nostalgic. Calling back to a nebulous time when people were nice, helpful, and virtuous. (Actually a rose tinted view of a nonexistent past - it calls back to the viewers childhood when everything felt that way.)

The most important thing with this character model is the feelings it evokes in the audience. The character must come across to the audience as

A moral paragon

Safe

The problem is that this type of character also has deep associations with heteronormativity, sexism, and racism. They have been used numerous times in media to help uphold and propogate these ideas.

But BTVS' very premise stands in direct opposition to the American values this character model tends to embody. It's more likely that this archetype will evoke the exact opposite feelings it's supposed to in fans of BTVS. They're more likely to have been victimized in their lives by the messaging imbeded into it.

It could have worked extremely well had the writers considered what would evoke the same feelings with their own audience.

Take one of Riley's early scenes - punching Parker for his comments about freshman girls and toilet seats. It's mentioned after that Riley does not take issue with his friends talking about women in "worse" ways. He reacted the way he did because he's got a crush on Buffy.

Imo, this is the moment the character failed. If you want to sell a character like Riley as a love interest to audience like BTVS', you must ensure the line between chivalry and chauvinism is never crossed. Once it is, that character's virtuousness will forever come across as a facade. A way to have control and possession over women under the guise of protecting their honour.

A minor adjustment to this one scene would help reframe Riley's motivations. He doesn't take kindly to men speaking that way about women, but it is odd for him to react violently.

In this version, he's someone who respects women in general but has more rash reaction than normal because his crush on Buffy is shaking him up. It also suggests he's not a man who's typically quick to violence.

Another important scene is when Riley finds Buffy outside at night and insists on walking her home. She puts up a fight, commenting on the sexism of assuming boys can take care of themselves but girls need to be walked home. Riley's response is that yes, this is absolutely what he believes.

Now, Riley is a trained soldier who knows there's very serious danger lurking around at night and does not know that Buffy is anything other than a tiny civilian. It's understandable that he would insist upon protecting her. The issue is entirely with how the dialogue is framed.

A better answer to Buffy's question would be "You shouldn't have to." Set him up as a man who understands many women can protect themselves, but believes his role is ensuring they never have to.

It shifts these gender roles from "woman weak, man strong" to Riley's sense of honour. Focuses on how he derives meaning from protecting civilians and those he cares about. Helps shed light on the mentality that led him to becoming a soldier and suggests that being a soldier is tied to his sense of identity and personal values.

It also more firmly shifts being a soldier from a day job to a duty for Riley. It gives him a connection with Buffy, who also believes it is her responsibility to use her strength to protect people.

Just two very simple shifts in dialogue and Riley's a much better character. Amazing how they got it so wrong without even understanding what mistakes they made.

#i had a very long and better organized rough copy in my drafts #but part of it got nuked by my phone deciding to update tumblr WHILE I WAS WRITING #and now i'm tipsy and i've been sitting on these thoughts for days so i want other ppl to see it #coherency be damned #i'll probably add to/adjust this tomorrow or sometime this week #riley finn #btvs #btvs s4

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ninemelodies · 7 months

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my lil insane wet cat of a man

#i have a lot of feelings for david’s hamlet #not all of them can be expressed in a coherent manner #hamlet #hamlet 2009 #i don’t really want to put this into the tags but it’s for my blog organization #david tennant

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bunnieswithknives · 1 year

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TWO OF US AU MASTERPOST

Finally got around to making a masterpost! I tried to keep it to the relevant stuff because I’ve posted a lot for this AU, but If you still want to see everything then you can search the whole tag here.

Also feel free to join the Discord: https://discord.gg/hkCKGQrDtK

Plot relevant stuff roughly chronological in order:

Two of us AU (Video) [bonus]

You don’t remember what she looks like? (Video)

David tries to convince Red murder is OK, [pt2]

Hey, that’s not how stairs work!

Low power, what's with your eyes?

Interview

Argument (Video)

New Invention (Video), stupid stupid

Memory problems

Clayhill Killer

David feels bad for murder

Full of electricity

Kills you to death

Worms (Video) [Bonus]

Post Cannon:

Long long time ago (Video)

Puppet David, Headache, little guy

Home sweet home, New clothes, Roller-skating

Ratburger?, Sons a worm

Puppet Antics:

IDEAS (Cannon episode)

Hug me (Video) [Bonus]

He died but he’s OK, [2], [3], [4], [5]

Family road trip!

Bonding

Brain friends, Prank , Siblings

uncreative Brendon

Workplace relations,

call that human trafficking

History lesson, cobbles and rhymes!

Beach day

Yum!

Warren fucking dies, Shrignold gives a pep talk

Homophobic butterfly, terrible advice

swear words, Duck rambles

Lesley BITES, Toothbrushes

puppet crossover

Upstairs

Some things never change

Pre-Cannon:

Ventriloquism

car accident, oh no!, Trauma

Punk David

Socializing

Family

They’ve been gone a long time

References, Worldbuilding, and Misc:

Magic system, Reanimation, Consequences for my actions!???

Roy and Lesley, Alive Roy and Lesley

David ref, Red ref, Duck [Color ref], More duck

Teachers, alive teachers

Big boys and bigger boys, Brain friends, pallet swapped, Recolors

Perfect Case In Point (Video)

Reanimator poster

Red’s family

Hostage AU, Dress up, Home is where the heart is

Red but he’s an angry ghost AU

Spider David AU, Spider lore, monster, Mother of puppets, mind control , Puppet Rowan, Ochyro

#dhmis #dhmis au #don't hug me i'm scared #two of us AU #masterpost #I might organize this better later #but its hopefully coherent enough for now

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roobylavender · 3 months

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hmm this may interest you, do you have thoughts on this subject matter character-wise or in a meta sense?:

https://www.tumblr.com/thecruellestmonth/740875315694501888/batman-turning-points-3-batman-under-the-red

personally i'm not a fan of bruce's disavowal of fatherhood much for the same reasons that i'm not a fan of his installing the good soldier plaque. these to me are both writing choices driven more by writers' desire to explore theoretical concepts than they are driven by a character study of bruce himself. the concept of robin as an occupation inherently equivalent to child abuse is interesting. the concept of wondering what right a father has to children he has adopted towards that end is interesting. that being said, exploring the former concept didn't necessarily demand eliminating robin altogether. exploring the latter concept didn't necessarily demand bruce completely disavowing himself of any accountability. and ultimately both writing choices ignore that a core aspect of bruce's relationships with the robins was wanting to be a good parent, or at the least a good guardian. certainly something more than a mere ally or friend. he took responsibility for these children because he wanted to help guide them towards a certain path in life where they would no longer be ruled by their trauma the way he was and is by his. allowing them to become robin to that end was obv more than questionable, but all too many writers forget and even go so far as to ignore that bruce knew that. he was well aware of his status as an enabler and he eventually hated himself for it deeply. he felt perpetually guilty and reluctant to ask dick for any support once the latter became an adult bc he didn't want to sanction and (in his mind) effectively require dick to do something that would endanger his life on his own orders. he could realistically never stop dick from pursuing vigilantism, but he could at least refuse to ask dick for that commitment any longer so that dick had complete freedom to make his own choices as to the matter. regardless, bruce had to live with the guilt of having enabled the existence of robin to begin with, and he intended to live with that guilt. it was his closest friend and his primary means of survival

if anything, that to me is precisely why his disavowal of fatherhood doesn't make sense. bruce is a poor communicator and he has a tendency to take upon all burdens at the expense of his loved ones feeling like he no longer values them or their support, but that doesn't negate the fact that he's quite hyperaware of his flaws. he's a far more relentless critic of himself than he is of others, and that stems as much from self-righteousness as it does guilt. he's supposed to be better. he's supposed to set an example. he's supposed to do the right thing. he's supposed to save the whole city even if he's only one person. and so on and so forth. bruce is possessive of highly unrealistic expectations for himself bc he's a ridiculously emotional person trying to tell himself to act like a robot. he repeatedly sets himself up for failure and then when he inevitably fails he kicks himself down like a dog. he is essentially a walking man-child simply because he cares too much and that often leads him to make stupid, emotionally driven choices: like taking random children into his home and teaching them how to channel their emotions through fighting crime, because if it worked for him it might work for them too, esp when they've got the added benefit of his supervision and well-intended (albeit awkward) companionship

all of bruce's circumstances and internalizations and traumas point to him taking what i would term excessive ownership of his crimes. he's a self-made pity puddle because he thinks everything is his fault. dick barely having a life outside of vigilantism is his fault. dick nearly falling to his death is his fault. jason failing to properly process his parental trauma is his fault. jason getting blown up by the joker is his fault. i simply cannot imagine a world where bruce isolates himself from caring or from taking the blame because doing the latter has been his modus operandi for so long. it makes more sense for bruce to disavow fatherhood in the specific context of not wanting to take the place that john and mary or willis and catherine will always occupy; it makes less sense for bruce to disavow fatherhood in the specific context of raising and loving dick and jason as if they were his own. it's very much a you don't have to call me dad but when i call you "chum" i mean "son" situation. he's never one to burden others intentionally (although we obv know this rarely plays out the way he wants it to), rather he intentionally burdens himself. that's precisely what knightfall as an arc is stellar at depicting, regardless of the fact that it coincides with the existence of the good soldier plaque. bruce in the aftermath of jason's death has to blame himself excessively because it's the only way he knows how to cope. i've never understood depictions of his grief with an emphasis on jason's share of the blame bc not only is it classist towards jason, it's also inconsistent with bruce's own character and tendency to believe that every bad thing that happens is his fault. it's why i'm not really a fan of gotham knights #43-45. a death in the family makes it clear that bruce blames himself for not allowing jason to have the space and time to process his trauma properly before throwing him into the suit. allowing him to have hope never even comes into the picture

and i'm not sure if anyone has ever considered this, but the disavowal of fatherhood really confuses me when you remember tim exists. why is bruce's disavowal with regards to jason even necessary when the crux of tim's entry into the mythos is precisely the fact that he isn't someone over whom bruce can similarly exercise responsibility and ownership.. it's far more interesting to explore the tightrope bruce walks with that partnership because he's easily in a place to deny responsibility and yet obv he ultimately can't because despite whatever reluctance he expressed initially, he eventually gave in. the tone of the grant/brefoygle run also helps with depicting that dilemma. we're not primarily privy to the bruce of old anymore, who while quiet and awkward nonetheless expressed a capacity for caretaking. there are remnants of that of course (esp after tim's mother dies). but the bruce of the 90s is more imperious and domineering because he's been hardened by trauma. he delivers grand speeches about vigilantism and justice. he sends tim across the pond because he needs proper training. the fact that they're neighbors and get burgers together sometimes doesn't detract from the physical divide present there because tim is ultimately someone else's son and possessive of a life entirely divorced of what he does in the mask. he can walk away without preamble in a way that dick (at least until adulthood) and jason never could. plenty of writers recognized that and personally i believe it's what made the 90s robin run interesting to read, but i also believe writers retroactively projected the necessity of an emotionally distant bruce to that narrative onto the bruce of old. it was progressively rewritten to be a constant rather than a development in the wake of a highly transgressive event. and unfortunately that's tainted every interaction and/or recollection that he has with/of jason afterward

#anyway. idek if this makes sense or feels coherent anymore i'm sorry :/ but the recording was definitely worse #and i also said some things on it that i don't actually think i believe. so #this was definitely a better means through which to organize my thoughts. however well i could #outbox

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yourqueenb · 5 months

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As a continuation of this ask that I responded to, all the things I mentioned are just parts of the overall issue I have with Blades…. which is that, in the grand scheme of things, I feel like MC is simply a plot device for the other characters rather than a fully developed character who has a fully developed and satisfying arc herself. It’s clear that Nia’s is the story the writers really wanted to tell considering how intertwined her characterization/development and the overall world building are. They basically even admitted as much.

So my question is why not just make her the MC if that’s really what you wanted on the not so down low? They still could’ve incorporated the skill mechanic. Why create a whole player character just to have us running to solve everyone else’s problems/support them while acting like everything that happens to us exists inside of a vacuum in the meantime? So far, all we’ve really been doing in this book is reporting where the group needs to go, telling them what to do, having heart to hearts with them when they need help moving to the next stage of their development, and then being spoonfed information through the lore tablets, which are apparently more for the players’ benefit than MC’s since they barely affect how we respond in game anyway. I’m fine with being the leader or the glue that holds everyone together, but to me it’s unsatisfying that that’s all we are as the main character.

We somehow become more competent due to the skill mechanic but no less clueless at the same time. We have all this terrible shit happen to us, but are only offered a few lines’ description of how that’s affected us. And then the rest of the attention goes to setting up the light vs. shadow conflict and our friends, who get to have personal and compelling conflicts of their own. I mean I feel like MC is more of an emotional support animal to them than an actual person with dreams, feelings, and a (minimal) background. Imo the only character who’s getting shafted almost as much as us is Imtura.

And all of this might make it sound like I hate Blades, but it’s quite the contrary actually. It’s still one of my favorite series and has a lot of fun moments and lovable characters. But I think at this point, its flaws have become too large for me to ignore. So that’s still affecting my enjoyment a bit and probably the reason why I’m so upset with how certain things are being handled. Of course I’m aware that Blades isn’t the only book that has some of these issues though. I think it’s just a little more disappointing because I expected more

#choices bolas #choices blades #blades of light and shadow #choices stories you play #playchoices #and again it’s not lost on me that a lot of my opinion is probably colored by being on Mal’s romance route alone #from what I’ve seen of Tyril’s route he at least seems to care a bit more #he even shows concern for MCs who have a purely platonic relationship with him #I’m not sure about Nia and Imtura #but even still I feel like MC isn’t being given nearly enough from the writers regardless of who you’re romancing #also I’m still not sure I’ve really explained my thoughts clearly #I feel like I just typed a lot and then decided to post bc I don’t have the capacity to try to organize this any further #so it just never would’ve gotten posted if I waited for that 🤦🏽‍♀️#but either way I hope it’s semi coherent and doesn’t just sound like a lot of whining and rambling 💀😭#choices #choices app

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ghostingcrows · 10 days

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Absolutely vibrating out of my skin thinking about the episode in Earthspark where Hashtag tells Starscream that

"Sometimes bad things happen it isn't always our fault"

Like OOOOOHHUGBAUYRBYUBYU

I fucking adore the way hes written in Earthspark

Hes still bitter and annoying but its actually acknowledged that he has a valid reason to be angry

The treatment he received under Megatron is still very much validated while also acknowledging that they have both changed over time

In an earlier episode when Bee is asking how Megatron used to get control of his troops he says that he used to intimidate them

So its very much established that they Megatron still wasn't good during the war in this continuity

And just

The acknowledgment from Hashtag that what he went through was valid and sucked and that it wasn't his fault while also pointing out that that doesn't make it okay for him to turn around and act like Megatron did

I love it

I love it so much it actually makes me bonkers

#transformers earthspark #transformers #starscream #hashtag malto #so many thoughts and emotions in my brain and none of them want to organize coherently but I LOVE so many aspects of What Dwells Within

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sheltershock · 2 months

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I just unlocked Eight’s palette yesterday and the additional challenge placed on this run specifically is really interesting from a story perspective with what was set up earlier in the DLC. So I ended up typing up this little essay on the intersection of gameplay and themes in Side Order. Slight spoilers under the cut!

Eight so far hasn’t gotten much attention at all in Side Order. Which makes sense for a silent protagonist, but I couldn’t help but see the narrative parallels with the gameplay associated with Eight’s run. Side Order is about confronting the fear of change and the fantasy of living in a bland, but safely controlled world of order. Marina gets a lot of guilt from the Memverse getting all messed up with her constant apologies, but maybe her desires and the ones of engineers aren’t the only key players in the development of Order and its takeover.

It’s revealed in the Dev Diaries that Eight was always intended to be the first subject in the Memverse project. Which inherently makes her special since the tower’s creation at some point took her specifically in consideration. But then when everything goes wrong, Eight is trapped there. Even when you beat the DLC and can leave the Memverse, it’s always your player character that transitions between spaces, not Eight. And sure, (a piece of) her soul is trapped in the program, but so are Deep Cut’s, and all of them are able to give the pre- and post-run news report about the situation in Inkopolis. So why is Eight unable to leave the space?

What I was surprised to find was that Eight’s palette wasn’t actually inside locker 36 like the game implied, but it was revealed that her palette was the lockers themselves. Like, all 36 of them. And even Marina calls out that it's “kinda weird.” Afterwards, the extra challenge of the final run reveals itself, a run with minimal hacks. The more hacks you have enabled, the less chip slots you are afforded. In order to have access to all thirty-six chip slots in Eight’s palette, you need to have zero hacks enabled, which resets you back to where you were in the beginning of the DLC after the tutorial run.

The thing that got me thinking about how interesting this was from a narrative perspective is that this challenge is really hard. It’s very difficult, in fact, at time of writing I have not beaten it and I’ve played for multi-hour sessions. But this difficulty switch actually reflects the themes of the DLC, and possibly how Eight feels and what she’s experiencing.

At the beginning of the game, the tower is chaotic and scary. You don’t know about the floors or their properties and the chips you can get are random. You don’t know what awaits you on that next floor and that could make you entirely start again from the beginning. And that’s exactly the fear that Octolings have about going to the surface. They are completely starting over at a game that they don’t know the rules of, or if there are any rules at all.

But then there’s the introduction of the hacks. The hacks are a valuable and life changing modification to the challenges and randomness ahead. You want more lives? Sure! Take less damage? Go for it! More upgrades for the drone? The more the merrier! Are the prices at the vending machine more expensive? Here, have a discount! Oh, you don’t like challenges or the chips available for this floor? Just hand over some coins and we’ll spin the roulette again! You can even reveal the bosses ahead of time and reroll what you get if you don’t want a certain one. Runs get easier, and more forgiving. And as you get further, the tower gets safer, more secure. More controllable. If you know what you’re doing, you can even manipulate the entire program to get solely what you want.

Except your memories.

As a player, you have to fully clear the tower eleven times before even unlocking Eight’s palette. Which matters because once you’ve cleared it eleven times with different loadouts, you become pretty familiar with the mechanics and might even have reliable plans for specific floors. And that’s without the hacks. The tower becomes routine at that point, and with all the hacks, it’s likely you plan trips to specific vending machines on certain floors. I remember having specific membux amounts I wanted to reach and trying to save up to spend on floor fifteen. You watch your in-game timer on levels start to decrease and feel a bit of pride when the happy clear music plays and you see the little “updated!” next to your time. You know your way around the tower now.

And Eight gets that experience too. Eight also experiences the repetition of each successful and unsuccessful run. The tower becomes familiar to her too, and maybe, comfortable. Eight gets to climb the tower, again and again, with her friends in an environment that she understands and can reasonably control. Pearl even has a line sometimes when you start a floor that echoes this sentiment, “let's hurry this up so we can go hang out with Marina and Acht some more!” And isn’t that the perfect fantasy for a freed Octoling? An environment of freedom, with a little spontaneity for spice? To be able to hang out with people you like, and aid each other in battle where the greatest punishment is that you get to enjoy this all again? Nobody controls you or tells you what to do. You call the shots. You pick the floors. You snap your fingers and decide how hard you want this to be.

And that’s exactly what Order stands for, an unchanging, safe world. Born from the wishes of the Memverse’s engineers, ironically standing in the way of the point of the program. At least, that’s what Smollusk said. But this is a world that Marina designed, with Eight as an intended subject. Not the only, but an intended subject. The person who was supposed to be saved first, ended up to be the last you find to save. Interesting. But maybe Order came to life specifically from Eight’s desire.

Eight is special. When you reach the top of the tower and face Smollusk with Eight’s palette, it recognizes it. “At wast[last]!,” it says, “you finawwy bwought me THAT Palette!” And it even calls Eight out by name. Smollusk doesn’t have dialogue calling out or even recognizing specific palettes you’re using, but it recognizes Eight’s. And the thing separating the palettes from the player is the lockers, a piece of Eight’s soul itself, may represent Eight’s desire to stay. The reason to keep playing is because everyone’s palettes are locked in a piece of Eight’s soul, tucked away. Because if the lockers weren’t there, then it would be significantly easier to reconfigure everyone’s palette. And easier means faster.

All of this would make the necessity of minimal hacks symbolic. Eight’s palette is resistant to Marina’s hacking, which serves two purposes for the narrative. One, it makes the game harder, which makes it harder to walk away from. If it takes one hundred attempts to clear that tower with minimal hacks, then that’s one hundred more repetitions experienced before it all has to eventually end. It’s another form of the lockers, extending the time of the evitable.

Its second symbolic purpose is that Eight has to let go of her grasp of control and embrace chaos to reach the top and reconfigure her palette. And it’s hard. Both mechanically like previously mentioned, but it also makes you feel Eight’s frustration with embracing chaos. Disabling my extra shields and damaged swim speed and extra lives, going back to the hardest, least controlled phase of the game feels bad. Embracing that chaos is difficult. Just like how it would be for Eight.

But it is possible, it’s just a slow climb up. Floor by floor. Facing nearly impossible challenge after nearly impossible challenge. And while you have the option to skip, it’ll cost you. But prices are much higher, the hits you can take are much more expensive, and you move much slower. But you still have your friends. Even if they can’t help you hack your way to the top, or drop five consecutive bombs, they’re still there for you. Keeping the elevator warm, and helping you resist gravity. Maybe they can’t exactly be much of help going up, but Eight’s friends can help her from falling back down. A team of four. How fitting.

Now, I haven’t cleared Eight’s palette yet, I’ve already mentioned this. And the 2/3 secret Dev Diaries I got doesn’t spark confidence about learning more about Eight, unfortunately. And I’ve accidentally been slightly spoiled that she doesn’t get her memories back which is disappointing. I wish there was more specific emphasis placed on the characters in the DLC, to be honest. But as I was playing I noticed this little ludonarrative happening with Eight’s run that I thought was super interesting and probably the closest I’m going to get for Eight development for the DLC. I haven’t played the first or second game(I didn’t have the hardware at the time), I just watched them and I heard that the memcakes in Octo Expansion actually reveal Eight’s personality so I’m going to have to read those, because I haven’t. But I like Eight, and I liked this neat little unspoken story going on in Side Order, like the agent herself.

#splatoon 3 #splatoon side order #splatoon 3 side order #side order #side order dlc #side order spoilers #agent eight #i just had some thoughts and hopefully organized them coherently enough #I’m really liking side order though #very fun #I want to make fanart but I’d have to actually build up the nerve to draw again #but I’ve always liked the Splatoon artstyle and wanted to learn from it so….#yeah #goodnight #thanks for reading #shelti rambles

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anonsystem · 7 months

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actually, fuck the whole "don't research ramcoa" thing

I had a group of programmed people convince me this was right for two years and it was disastrous for me. None of those people will speak to me anymore because of a very complicated not relevant situation. Programmed systems deserve to have language for our experiences. We deserve to have the evidence that we're not crazy to make us feel less trapped. Suicide programs aren't going to stop just because you're not reading about what happened to you. I've been in a year long suicide program even though it's in my system rules NOT to read about ramcoa right now. We're not all helpless children. We've survived things a lot of people don't come back from. We can handle this. The only thing that really matters is whether you're taking it in small portions and making sure you have a support system. (I might post my "rules for interacting with RAMCOA content safely" later if anyone wants to see those)

#full disclosure i am in the height of a manic episode ajd its literally midnighy #so this may not be the most coherent #ramcoa #ramcoa tw #organized abuse #tbmc #tw tbmc #programmed #programming #programmed system #hc did #hcdid #im sorry for perpetrating silence programs

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cha1cedony · 23 days

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I think part of the reason Gothcleats has literally like consumed my mind since becoming canon is because I think about the Wilsons in the context of marriage/romantic relationships SO much?? Like. Being aro, I normally don’t like analyzing characters through the lens of romance and how they function with crushes or in relationships… It’s just not that interesting to me, and I don’t like basing a character’s personality or worth on their romantic (or sexual) dynamics with other characters. BUT THE WILSONS? OH BOY.

Ramble under the cut bc this got way too long

ALSO!!! Warning for discussions of sex! Not very in-depth. (It’s mostly just about Grant and Marco hooking up on the Titanic lol)

Anyway!

So so so much of the Wilsons’ identities in canon (and also to an even further extent in my fics/headcanons/mind hehe) are based on their marriages and immediate nuclear families. For Darryl, his entire life WAS his family. As far as we know, the same was the case for Frank, and even Robert Wilson was pretty much always talking about his gal Sal iirc. Like obviously bc this podcast is about family, BUT as your resident Wilsons expert (lmao), I want to put forth that the Wilsons in particular are about marriage!

I think the best example of this, actually, is in S2 when (on the night before Grant’s WEDDING), Darryl is talking to Grant about marriage and says that he and Grant both know that Carol and Marco respectively are too good for them. Which like. is also one of the most loaded and important statements to me in this whole goddamned podcast (and probably THE most important for the Wilsons) for many reasons. but I digress lolol

For Darryl and Grant both, there’s a perceived power imbalance in their marriages: not in an abusive way or anything, but rather as like… a measure of self-worth? For better or worse, their self-esteem and sense of self-worth are dependent on the people close to them, especially their romantic partners.

Darryl is constantly comparing himself to his father (as is Grant), but not just as a father—as a husband, too. Darryl tells Frank that he wishes he had the kind of relationship with Carol that Frank had with Darryl’s mom (which is. doubly ironic and sad bc Darryl’s mom was cheating on Frank, and he almost cheated on her, too. but I digress again oops)

But he compares himself to Carol, too, thinking she’s smarter and ‘better’ than him, and Grant especially compares himself a LOT to Marco, saying that Lincoln would be better off with Marco as a single dad and that Marco is ‘better’ than him in general. I find this extra interesting bc Frank does NOT do the same with Darryl’s mom; in fact, he (albeit light-heartedly) says she’s worse than him for having cheated—I don’t have transcripts in front of me, but something along the lines of “If you think that’s bad…”

And that’s why I think the best (and honestly only) way to really examine the Wilsons as characters/people is through the lens of their marriages.

So much of Darryl’s character especially is based solely on Carol. He’s been with her since she was 13-14 and he was 14-15, and so much of his personality and life is entirely formed around her. She’s his best friend. When he gets the idea that she might be cheating on him, or dead (as a mummy), he loses himself because, like. What else is he if not Carol’s best friend, her husband, the father of her son? Almost any time Darryl has any character development (that isn’t related to his dad or son), it’s about his romantic and sexual relationships and feelings: with Carol, with Sweet Matilda, with the fucking sex pit! Lmao

And he and Carol NOT divorcing after S1 is honestly the only thing that makes sense to me; what else would he do? Even if they never manage to fix it all, what else does he have? (The answer is all of his family and newfound friends, but he can’t see it that way; his self-worth centers around HER, remember; she’s BETTER than him.) So they stay together, and he dies believing she still loves him and will be happy to be unchangingly domestic him with him all over again in heaven, whether it’s true or not. Until then, he lives with a facade of her and their son (btw the fake personal heaven Grant is a kid, so Darryl is presumably reliving his life before the events of S1 without changing anything which… is sad for a whole other set of reasons) because Darryl can’t be alone; what is he alone? ALSO. Okay actually no. I won’t get on my aromantic Darryl soapbox right now, but….. expect it at a later date lol. This part got kinda rambly/headcanon-y oops.

A lot of Grant’s character is ABOUT his romantic feelings/relationships; he’s pretty much inextricable from them. His crush on Yeet was originally his whole character (aside from aloof gamer kid lol): Shy, easily embarrassed, extremely obvious about his crush, trying to impress this cute and cool guy. And then, by the time of the Supper Bowl arc, after the chimera and everything else, he becomes more complex, of course, but those feelings are still at the center of everything—because they’re his escape.

He tells Yeet the TWO things that make him feel alive are violence (whether done TO him or BY him) and his crush on Yeet. Grant’s romantic feelings become linked and equated with violence and rage (which. makes me feel crazy btw but anyway. Sorry I love Grant beyond words) and are the only temporary cures for his dissociation.

So when Grant is an adult, of course he relies on romance and sex like a crutch; it makes him feel safe and real, and it’s an intersection of love and violence that makes him feel at peace.

I know it’s a funny moment, but this always makes me think of him and Marco hooking up on the Titanic: Grant believes wholeheartedly that they are both going to die and that there’s nothing he can do about it (or maybe he just doesn’t even want to try to save them). When Marco finds out what’s happening and sort of scolds Grant for it, Grant is embarrassed and says it’s because he’s just “having so many feelings” (probably not exact words), which is also interesting because that’s pretty much the opposite of his original problem of dissociating.

But, between being overwhelmed and dissociative, at its core, the same root feeling is there: hopelessness and helplessness. Also, in his second conversation with Lincoln is S2, Grant says that violence and killing help with his self-worth, also (which ties back to what I said earlier about the connection between the Wilsons’ self-worth and their marriages). When Grant kills someone, all of his doubts disappear and “it all goes white.” If we’re looking at this through the lens that Grant equates violence and love/sex, it must give him that same feeling of… blissful ignorance? Emptiness.

This leads me to believe Grant copes with feelings of hopelessness and self-doubt not just through killing, but through romance and sex, too—like we see on the Titanic (lol)

There’s a lot more speculation I could do about both Darryl and Grant (and Frank, and even all their spouses), but I’m trying to leave it to at least canon-adjacent stuff. Anyway, let me finally circle this all back around to Lincoln lol…

It’s clear that Lincoln thinks romantic relationships are very important. He thinks marriage is beautiful (and, based on his dads’ marriage, that all marriages are good and happy lol—which is especially funny/interesting to me when you consider the several times it’s been said that something Lincoln did/does is the only thing holding their marriage together, and he’s the whole reason Grant didn’t call off the wedding in the first place). His dads have spent a lot of time educating him about love and sex and personal choice in both of those categories, which he references a few times, but, despite their emphasis on personal choice and not raising him Catholic but encouraging him to believe whatever he wants, Lincoln, at 16, is SURE that he will get married someday (and probably young, since he said to Normal that a few years is a long time to wait lol). The Wilsons’ generational insistence on marriage, romantic relationships, and nuclear families persists regardless of Catholicism, it seems :’)

Lincoln’s marriage to Chris in the simulation was also clearly really important to him—and to Chris, too, since they asked him never to remarry. I know the cast joked about this, but it does make me a little sad that Lincoln’s relationship with Chris seemed to be a lot like Darryl’s with Carol! Granted, we only know a like two things about Chris lol… also, I LIKE Chris and Carol! A lot! No hate to either of them <3 but also, that doesn’t mean those relationships aren’t strained, you know?

Anyway! A lot of Lincoln’s character can of course be attributed to his dads’ marriage, like I said before, but his marriage in the simulation was pretty big, too. Although he doesn’t talk about it a lot, it must have matured him, at least on the inside. He later references the job he had in the simulation, as well as being a dad. When he marries the other teens in space, he still thinks of Chris and what they would think. Once again, like Darryl and Grant, a lot of Lincoln’s decisions and beliefs are tied to his spouse—even if they’re not there or were never even real to begin with. Even once he’s married to the other teens, he takes it VERY seriously with pet names and domesticities.

All of this to say, it makes me wonder about his marriage to Scary in relation to his characterization as an adult! I’m not speculating that their relationship is bad or anything; I don’t want it to be and in fact VERY MUCH hope they’ve broken cycles. I just wonder how it affects him as a character (and Scary, too, of course)!

I was really excited when Gothcleats became canon not just because I shipped them, but mostly because I think the Wilsons are most interesting when looked at through their marriages. Lincoln has always put a really strong emphasis on marriage, and all of his pet names and PDA with Scary in the S2 epilogue confirmed to me that they take after the previous Wilson generations in GOOD ways, which makes me really happy.

I guess the main question I’m getting at is about how Lincoln perceives himself in this relationship. In the years soon after the end of S2, does he still feel that same emptiness and feeling of “not caring”? Does he try to cure it in the same way as his father, making “it all go white” with violence or sex or getting someone else to hold him together, or his grandfather, suppressing his depression and trying to will it away with love and close/‘happy’ romantic relationships? Does he find any of those things in Scary? Does he see himself as her equal, or does he feel inferior, like she’s smarter or more capable or ‘better’ than him? He did say multiple times in S2 that she’s the leader, she’s the one who knows what she’s doing, and he just wants to follow along because he doesn’t care anymore.

I hope not. I hope Lincoln and Scary are really happy together. I hope their self-worth is not determined by their partner. I guess that’s all this ramble is :’)

OKAY WHEW. I’m done. That was fun :D

Thanks for subjecting yourself to my ramblings omfg… please send me all of your Wilsons thoughts always. I’ve been wanting to write a long thing about this FOREVER… The aro Darryl fic(s) will come eventually. Also one about Grant coping (badly lol) with sex, which has been in the works forever bc I am bad at NSFW. But it’s fun. Uhhh I guess that’s all?

OH ALSO. If you want to read more of my post-canon Gothcleats thoughts, I published a 15k fic the other day about Jerry being their foster kid! Here you go :3

Hit the Ground Running - chalcedony

(It’s very fluffy and sweet—which is rare for me, but I promise I’m not lying! It’s silly and fun. And I do not speculate too much about Lincoln’s inner turmoil, I pinky promise)

If you read this all. Um…. Sorry? LMAO. Here is a gold star for you ⭐️

#should I maintag this monstrosity..#sure why not. there’s some decent Grant meta in there if you squint #LMAOO #dndads #dungeons and daddies #darryl wilson #grant wilson #lincoln li wilson #okay that’s good enough.. 😰#chalcy stuff #wilsons meta #<- I am gonna go back and tag all of my (more coherent) Wilsons ramblings with this hehe. organization wooo

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ranchthoughts · 11 months

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thinking about Pran's "Pat, you've got to stop doing this to me"

The way that's so... blatant. So explicit. Pran is admitting "this is how you interactions are reading to me" (romantic, sexual) and "this is making me feel things". He's not directly stating these things, to be fair, but it sure is honest and revealing in a way Pran generally isn't.

Pat and Pran don't say a lot explicitly - there's something about their communication style, born from how long they've known each other, that doesn't really use words? Pat can show up to fulfill a part in the play and give a speech ostensibly in that character's voice, and Pran knows the meaning of the gesture; Pran can feed Pat and wipe food from his mouth and Pat knows what he means. Heck even the whole bet was them saying "I like you" over and over, both of them knowing it, but neither using words directly.

So while "Pat, you've got to stop doing this to me" isn't an explicit declaration of "I like you, and you flirting with me without meaning it hurts me," it's as close as it needs to be for these two.

They both know where they stand now. Pran might not have thought Pat realized what he was doing before, how his gestures and utterances were coming off, but Pran knows something has shifted recently. It was in Pat's behaviour when he came to Pran's dorm and asked pointed questions about Wai. It was in Pat's behaviour in the fight with Wai at the entrance to the dorm, the way Pat seemed like he had something important to say. Pran may not know exactly what or why something is different, but he knows there is something new at play.

And then on the rooftop, Pat is so... deliberate with his words. It's almost like a prepared speech, the way he outlines their history and goes into what Pran means for him. Pran listens to this, puts two and two together, and realizes that Pat does know how his actions have read; even if he's just realized it, he knows it now.

So Pran can be more explicit in his words too: "Pat, you've got to stop doing this to me". So close to an actual confession, so close to saying outright "the way you act plays with my heart". It's such an open, desperate plea - Pran is so tired at this point of Pat saying and doing the sweetest things without even realizing the effect it was having, or that now Pat seems to be aware of the effect it is having and leaning into it though they both should know any relationship would be impossible. Pran's reached the end of his rope, this is the final confrontation they've been building to for a while but especially in the aftermath of the fight scene just prior: Pran has got to nip this in the bud.

Despite Pran saying that, pleading for Pat to stop, Pat keeps being soft. It seems like... he might mean it? He might want to stand by his words? And so Pran has to try and offer an out ("Do you want to be friends?"), hoping Pat will take it, however flimsy and transparent an excuse it is, so Pran doesn't have to reckon with the new information that Pat knows he's being flirty and wants to be, because he loves Pran back. Which would be the worst, because now Pran has to live with the confirmation that this could happen, if everything in their lives was different (if he wasn't Pran, if Pat wasn't Pat, if their parents weren't their parents). Happiness and love are so painfully within reach, but Pran knows that reaching for them will only end in pain (they are in a tragedy after all).

and then we see desperate Pran again, going "screw it" and diving in for a second kiss because at this point, he might as well go all in (just this once)

#i've already written like 2000 words on this damn kiss today but I guess I had more thoughts??#much less organized and coherent but anyways #ranch thoughts #bb #bb meta #bad buddy

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purrpickle · 1 year

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Pardon the terrible quality, but this, right here, when Sam says, "I'm sorry that I wasn't there to protect you.", it is so, so, so chilling. It makes absolutely clear without being descriptive how terrible Sam's grandmother is, and how much she dominated and mistreated Sam her whole life.

We see that with her estranged sister, one of the first things Sam says to Neung (who she hasn't seen or talked to in years!) is an accusation filled with all her old hurt and anger that Neung abandoned her and Song with their grandmother, who got worse after she left.

Which is terrible because we already know that the Honorable Grandmother got even worse than that again after Song died!

The trauma her grandmother has been responsible for in Sam's life has always been palpable, but it was made especially so in this episode, in this scene, and in this line.

"I'm sorry that I wasn't there to protect you."

From the moment Mon tells her, "Today Lady Grandmother came to your place," Sam immediately knows what happened. We see her heart break, but we also see her fight back her devastation so she can pull Mon closer to her and comfort her. We see how angry she is at herself and horrified that she let Mon face the Honorable Grandmother alone, and we see that as soon as Sam can speak, all she can say is, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Because Sam is sorry; sorry that she allowed her grandmother to inflict violence and trauma on Mon, because that is what her grandmother does.

...

Sam is very, very clear.

The Honorable Grandmother needs to be protected from.

Like Sam never was after her sisters were gone.

#i never have coherent or organized thoughts i'm sorry #i am in my sam feels again D:#gap the series #gap the series spoilers #khun sam #mon #monsam #grandmother #rambly ramblings

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daz4i · 10 months

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me continuing my bpd dazai analysis trying to phrase anything that isn't "dazai has bpd bc i said so" when my brain is as tired and messy as it is right now

i don't have a reaction pic here. imagine me looking frustrated and tired on my computer

#anyway. dazai has bpd bc i said so #i actually wrote nearly a whole page but i think i repeat myself a lot and it's not very coherent or organized so i crossed it out #(not deleted yet tho. maybe if i ever have a clearer head i'll try to salvage this or use it as reference)#i got deep into comparisons to yozo too damn 😔

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skitskatdacat63 · 7 months

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Boy King Seb :D

#thank you to Grace for the idea of making his chivarly collar red bull instead <33333 #he was gonna have both collars but then making that one made me suffer so no not today #this was a lot of fun but also made me suffer. but i keep looking at it and being like AAAHHHHH BABY!!! BABY BOY!!!!!!!#can you believe i tried to do this in one night? i cant #i stopped and came back to it and was like 'no way you could do this in one sitting at 1 am'#this is kinda the ascended form of that very first sketch i made for this au! concentrated boy king sebby!!!#i say to myself i need to take a break from drawing complicated things but youll prob see a nando version of this in less than a week ;;;#okay about the drawing(i wrote good tags and then tumblr deleted them so these are a bit inferior AGH):#this is typical pouty seb but is also referenced off a specific pic from AD 2009(beloved)#its very important to me how emotionally open Seb is. im not sure the specific context of this. maybe after a triumph?#but instead of being that typical stoic serious detached kind of ruler; i like him being openly emotional(think AD 2010)#its important as well for his dichotomy with nando and how they choose to portray themselves #seb is very assured in himself and his rule vs. nando who is more insecure and bitter about his #so nando takes strides to portray himself in that more stoic calculating way bcs he feels like it helps him legitimize himself better #whereas seb has absolutely no care for outward public image and shows how he feels and is loved for it(nando hates it but loves it)#not that nando cant be fun and whimsical!! but to me he always seems a bit more mysterious; like i can never tell his true thoughts tbh #anyways i feel like ill finish 10 more drawings before i end up posting the lore pt 2 LMAO #its just a lot harder to organize and layout compared to part 1 which was just an explanation #pt2 would be a mix of more world building/characterization/anecdotes ive talked about with mutuals(LOVE YOU GUYS!!!)#i have a *lot* of ideas (gotta whip out my notes app every once in a while to write down stuff abt it) just hard to put into a coherent pos #sebastian vettel #f1 #formula 1 #f1 art #formula 1 art #f1 fanart #formula 1 fanart #catie.art.#*ill prob make a process post later if anyone is curious!! its fun to write abt my process and influences and such #boy king au

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ghostlyheart · 8 months

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I never expected this to be the season that really highlighted Nadja and Guillermo's friendship but I'm so happy it was. Them physically protecting each other was amazing, but in the last few episodes of the season she really goes out of her way to defend him from both the Baron and Nandor even though she disagrees with his choice. That scene of them in the motel together is short, but it says so much. She gives him the lecture about protecting his sire not for Derek's sake but because she's worried about Guillermo and she's trying to give him some of the important vampiric lessons that he's missed out on because his turning was abnormal. I wish we had gotten to see the rest of their conversation play out before she left because it seemed like she was empathizing with him about how complicated relationships can be once you turn into a vampire and learning to accept those consequences. She takes on an almost big-sister-like role with Guillermo where she acts annoyed but also secretly cares very deeply and is trying to help him learn from her own experiences.

The entire household has grown closer to Guillermo this season, but for me his and Nadja's relationship is special because I feel like she's the one who has held him at arms length for the longest. Last season, their dynamic changed because he became the nightclub's accountant, but in situations where she helped him, she always fell back on the excuse that it was in her own self-interest. She could have abandoned Guillermo at urgent care, told Nandor his secret in order to minimize the fallout for herself, not gone to visit Guillermo or advocate for him to Nandor, etc., but now she puts herself in those risky situations because she cares.

Woven through this season there are bits and pieces about her early life and how her turning ended up being kind of a traumatic experience. She mentioned last season that she watched most of her family die (and at another point that she was the only one of her siblings to survive). In "Local News" and "Hybrid Creatures" she talks about being forced to leave Antipaxos and the only place she ever really felt at home. The fact that she was so desperate to escape when they thought they were exposed on the news, even if that meant going without the others, speaks to her being afraid of leaving herself vulnerable. Unlike Laszlo, she also doesn't seem to have many connections outside of her housemates until she begins visiting with the Antipaxos family. I think all that amounts to her being wary of trusting people or letting in others outside her relatively small circle because she's experienced the danger of getting too attached. It's taken her over a DECADE to warm up to Guillermo, but as she becomes comfortable reconnecting with her culture and her human past with the Antipaxons, it makes sense that she would start to let her guard down with him as well. I think Laszlo's comment in the finale about vampires having a difficult time expressing their emotions externally ties in well with this. Nadja is a very expressive person, but when it comes to displaying her emotional closeness with others, it comes across a lot more subtlely. Nadja's arc didn't have the clearest throughline this season, and the hex plot itself didn't really spur much development from her, but I feel like it ultimately led to moments that demonstrate how she forms relationships and the ways in which that's informed by her past.

#wwdits s5 spoilers #nadja of antipaxos #I haven't really organized all my Nadja Thoughts about this season yet so this is my attempt #i love her so much. have i mentioned that i love her so much?#this might be nonsense im so tired and i have to work in the morning and ughhhh. but i cant go to bed without getting this out of my brain #this turned out to be kind of a lot asjkds. there's just sooo much i want to say about her even though it's probably not in the smartest wa #idk im just trying to take allllll we've learned about her over the seasons and knit it into a coherent image in my head

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