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bignasty001 · 3 months

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my last post b4 i die...

frotting.

#that's it #it's the time of night where i don't feel good in multiple different ways #the only cure would be for someone to cut me idk #or jerk off #that works too #yapping

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wormswurld · 9 days

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guys idk if this piss kink thing is a joke anymore………*gulps*

#me saying this as if i haven’t come to terms w it like 2 or 3 years ago LMAO #idk man……desperation just activates smth in my silly monkey brain #like wdym you have to pee so bad….wdym you can’t just wait…wdym you can’t just hold it…..#uhhhhhh #i think it’s time to delete this app #or jerk off #one of the two #i love the passenger 🫶😇#the passenger #the passenger 2023 #randy bradley #benson the passenger #lgbtqia #wormswurld brainrot

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eldritch-thrumming · 2 months

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ok imagine an eddie that’s like “ok i’m gonna get my life together, i can’t play sold out shows completely out of breath all the time” so he decides to quit smoking, cut back on his drinking, and finally hire a personal trainer.

and it’s all well and good. his personal trainer, steve, is super hot and eddie kind of has a thing for the way steve tells him what to do. eddie’s never gone to a gym before, let alone had a personalize work out regime, so he’s just following steve’s lead.

he’s talking to gareth one day abt his regular routine, because ever since eddie’s been seeing steve, he’s had way more energy and their performances have never been better—gareth’s just wondering if maybe he should be getting in on this whole personal trainer thing too.

but gareth is left in complete shock when eddie gets to the end of his daily workouts.

“—and it’s just to help me relax, you know? loosen up all the muscles at the end,” eddie’s saying. “it helps so much and i feel so great after.”

“yeah i bet you fucking do,” gareth responds with a snort of disbelief.

“what do you mean?”

“uh. i don’t think it’s fucking normal for your personal trainer to jerk you off at the end of a session??”

“what?” eddie says, looking confused. “yeah, steve said it’s totally normal. it’s just a thing guys do at the gym.”

gareth has absolutely nothing to say to that.

#ok this is just crack lmfao #inspired by watching succession and all the jokes abt roman roy getting jerked off by his personal trainer #steddie

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steppesliver · 2 months

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lisa teaching the creature how to use a vibrator while the dad and her sister are talking to cops and having a breakdown over the mother's disappearance really nailed it

#who hasnt jerked off while their family was fighting downstairs #lisa frankenstein

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steddielations · 4 months

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Upstaged | Part 2 | Part 1

It all makes sense.

When Eddie comes back from taking photos with the fans, he looks a little sheepish for the first time. Steve has about a million things to ask, mostly he just wants to laugh about the fucking odds, but he remembers the grace Eddie extended to him about the press ordeal.

Instead, he settles back with his lime soda and a simple question, “So, what kind of music are you into?”

A grateful smile breaks out across Eddie’s face, ecstatic to dive into that with Steve. Their lunch extends into dinner. Steve doesn’t have anywhere to be these days and Eddie practically jumps up and down when the meeting he was in the area for gets canceled. They stay there for a couple more hours, just talking.

Their music taste overlaps at certain points, Eddie talks about how getting his first guitar from the pawn shop pretty much saved him, Steve recounts a little league story that makes Eddie laugh so hard he chokes on his soda.

It’s the most monumentally casual time Steve’s ever had with a new friend in public and he’s not ready for it to end. Even after exchanging numbers and promising to meet up again, they still linger together outside.

“So uh, I remember where I know you from now."

Eddie leans against the side of the building. It’s getting dark, they’re tucked away from any eyes so Steve freely scoots closer to Eddie, waiting for him to explain. He does after a moment, seeming nervous and fiddling with his rings.

“I hate to ask, but my Uncle is huge into baseball, especially you and your general all-around-awesome thing. There weren’t players like you to look up to when he was young, all that. I’ve seen you on his tv so many times, you’re basically part of the family— ah shit, that’s weird, sorry,” he cringes a little, scrunching his nose in a way that makes Steve’s chest clench with affection, “But he’s getting old and like I said earlier, he’s my rock, he raised me and I won’t forgive myself if I don’t at least ask you to come see him sometime.”

The way he rambles is pretty endearing, looking at Steve with a wide-eyed hopeful expression, as if there was even a chance Steve would say no.

He reaches out, gently takes Eddie’s hand to stop his restless fidgeting, “You want me to meet your folks already, hm?”

Eddie lets out an amused scoff, looking down at their hands and back at Steve like he can’t believe it. “You’re not as funny as you think you are, Steve.”

Steve knits his brows, “Why’s that?”

“C’mon man. Y’know how hard it is to find someone who can handle this lifestyle, let alone all the shit that comes with me,” shaking his head a little, Eddie smiles but there’s something aching in it, “Then the nicest looking guy I’ve ever seen comes outta nowhere and saves my life, agrees to go to lunch, happens too know as well as me that life in the limelight ain’t always pretty and turns out to be one of the best people I’ve ever met.”

His fingers thread through Steve’s, holding tight like he’s not sure it’s real. “Even if I never see you again, I’m gonna write songs about you. I’d take you home and keep you right now if I could, but that’s not happening.”

There’s a part of Steve he’s kept shut down for years that comes pumping through his veins then, hot and alive. He realizes that he’s been trying so hard to keep his life as normal as possible that he’s been missing out on actually living it. Now he has this wonderful, crazy, wonderful man spontaneously in front of him and he’s not letting him slip away.

Steve moves in, slowly crowding Eddie against the wall. Eddie’s eyes go a little wide with surprise then darken with desire. Steve watches his face shift through so many emotions, his mouth parting with a soft gasp, wanting this just as badly as Steve.

“Wanna bet?” Steve asks before he crashes into Eddie again.

This time it’s a hot press of lips instead of a full-body collision, but it’s just as breathtaking.

Steve deepens the kiss, thrill prickling all across his skin when Eddie opens up for him right away. Steve licks passed the bright hint of lime on their tongues to get to Eddie. The heady taste of him makes Steve’s world spin, all the desperate noises between them going straight to his head.

“Want you so bad, Eddie, wanna keep you too,” he threads his fingers into all that hair, reveling in the shiver it elicits from Eddie, “God, just wanna have you.”

Eddie chases his lips, “You can, Steve, you can have me— please do.”

Steve loves the sound of that, going in for a longer, more indulgent kiss before pulling back.

“You can’t take me home tonight,” he professes hotly against Eddie’s lips, “My place is closer, you’re coming with me.”

#and at some point eddie admits that he's jerked off to steve's magazine covers before #might keep this going we'll see #steddie #steddie fic #eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things #rockstar eddie munson #famous eddie munson #famous steve harrington #rueswriting

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cumcover3dangel · 11 days

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Not enough pervs jerking off to me and telling me the gross details about it sigh

#hey babe are u ok u didn’t jerk off to me today #starting a new blog I’m always deprived of attention #sigh :(#text

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wanderinthedeep · 2 months

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sometimes the solution is just to jerk off and go to sleep. before you do something stupid, have you tried just jerking off and going to sleep?

#sponsored by jerking off™️#with generous support from the passing the fuck out foundation #and viewers like you #thank you #text

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yourhighness6 · 1 month

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Me, screaming into the void: I DON'T HATE MAI I JUST FEEL LIKE SHE NEEDED MORE DEVELOPMENT OUTSIDE OF ZUKO AND HER ARC SHOULDN'T REVOLVE AROUND HER LOVE INTEREST

Also me, still screaming into the void: I DON'T HATE AANG I JUST QUESTION WHETHER HIS ROMANTIC INTEREST IN KATARA BRINGS OUT THE BEST SIDES OF HIM AND FEEL AS THOUGH HE AND HIS DEVELOPMENT IS NOT ABOVE NECESSARY CRITICISM

#why do antis think I hate either of them the moment I question their development and the writing choices bryke made for them #they're good characters I just want them to live up to their full potential #a lot of their actions in season 3 especially revolving around romance were counter intuitive to their arcs made them come off as jerks #it got to the point of character assassination istg #anti maiko #anti kataang #mai #aang #criticism is not hate #aang critical #anti bryke #this doesn't have anything to do with zutara but tagging for exposure #zutara

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invinciblerodent · 4 months

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From now on, I'm just going to assume that anyone who calls Gale any variation of "pompous", "arrogant", "annoying", "a jerk", or anything to that effect, and talks at length about how they hate him and/or have killed him, is just bellyaching and being a baby over them not understanding his speech. That's right, at this point I'm ascribing a literal skill issue to being wrong about a fictional character.

Aww, poor baby, did the Mean Wizard hurt your tiny, smooth widdle brain by saying "adroit"? Did his correct use of "foeti", the latinate plural of "foetus", frighten you? Aww, I'm so sowwy. That must be so tough for you, being so scared of fun words and the general concept of whimsy. I can't hear you over myself tongue-kissing the pretty man with the calf-eyes and the slutty waist.

#squirrel plays bg3 #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #just watched a little video on bad decisions that actually turn out well #and the last one was “reviving gale”#and my man went OFF on how annoying and how much of a jerk he found gale #and how he had wanted to just let him stay dead #and i'm just..... annoyed at this point #and annoyed at myself for being annoyed #gale is just whimsical!!! and fun!!!!! i mean come on have you never taken him to the lanceboard; that boyish glee?#larian please fix my kisses i need this man on his knees post-haste #(this. this is because. i play a dwarf. and he kneels down for a kiss. ya nasties.)#(but also. definitely was thinking that too.)

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puppyfox-girlfaux · 4 months

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what if i jerked off ? what if i jerked my fat fucking knotted girlboner right in front of you ?? what if i looked over at you with absolutely minimal comprehension behind my hazy eyes, my hands furiously slamming themselves past my knot while my hips rise to meet them as if the sight of you was all i needed ?? what if i sat on your lap and grinded every throbbing inch of my needy, desperate knotted cock into your tummy, drooling like a useless, primal, feral fucking animal who so vividly slamfucks poor souls with inch after inch of overexcitable puppygirl dick like it's her meaning to life ??

hypothetically tho , im just asking . im just curious im just kind of wondering that's all how would you feel about it though

#i have got to jerk off. right now #i should edge #t4t nsft #trans nsft #queer nsft #wlw nsft #t4t #t4t ns/fw #queer ns/fw #ns/fw #wlw ns/fw

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houseswife · 4 months

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if the target audience of house was middle-aged cishet dudebros then why are all the promo shots of him so sexually compelling to me personally. like what feelings are these meant to evoke other than “I need to fuck that old man or so help me god”

#I’m a little tipsy rn and I think I hauv covid…#that pic of him in the vicodin bath is making me feel the same way I assume playboy mag enjoyers feel #I need that printed out above my bed #like. WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!!! [jerks off and dies]#house md #greg house #gregory house #hatecrimes md #hugh laurie #the only other fictional male character I have been this viscerally attracted to (as opposed to just gender envious/admiration)#is nbc hannibal lecter #that’s two evil gay doctors. is that my niche kink or something.#I need to see a psychiatrist #or not. considering that I might nut

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declamationark · 4 months

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Between Danny’s constant sleep deprivation, school stress, and his villains’ differing levels of goofiness, I’m surprised he didn’t try just.. crying, like there’s a reasonable chance they immediately regret making this kid cry

like dude, you get catharsis and your enemies get Guilted into awkwardly going "there there buddy (help??? how to stop crying??? do I just pat the kid's head????)" and giving you gifts

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onismdaydream · 6 months

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leon begging you to keep riding his abs, his big hands on your hips and helping you glide across his slick covered stomach. his cock is leaking steadily, having been neglected as he keeps his focus on you. your pretty lashes with those pretty tears that fall down to your pretty mouth letting out those pretty sounds. your wet cunt is rubbed raw by now, working yourself into overstimulation because he just wants one more, c'mon pretty girl, just one more.

and you can't deny him anything, so you give him everything you have. even more than you intended to.

you feel yourself shake with the release, the dam bursting as you unintentionally piss on him. you're mortified. but he just groans, the warm piss coating his skin and mixing with your cum and juice, marking him as yours. his chest and stomach are so wet and messy and sticky but he doesn't care, he just grabs your head and crashes your lips together, mumbling about how perfect you are and how hot is it, and please, baby, want you to do that all the time, i'll be so good for you, promise.

#he runs his hand through the mess you made and jerks off while you try to catch your breath 🥴#SORRY ive been thinking about him...#leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #resident evil smut #resident evil x reader #tw piss #perce.doc #resident evil #.resi

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brattyprincessfiona · 16 days

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Look at me, how could it feel bad to lose it all for me?