honestly, dyspraxia would explain a lot. why i randomly fall and trip when there is literally nothing to fall or trip on. time blindness (that could just be the adhd, but you never know). why i hate driving with a burning passion and only do it because america is stupid about public transit. and also why autocorrect must save me and why i don't type with my thumbs and probably why my handwriting looks the way it does. and i can't catch things except when all the physics aligns and-- wait, did i have difficulty learning how to ride a bike? does this explain my dance issues?

was i just masking YET ANOTHER DISABILITY? HOW MANY DISABILITIES IN A TRENCH COAT AM I? AND HOW DID I NOT PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER UNTIL LITERALLY THIS WEEK?

and just so you don't beat me to it:

(teaching my art class)

me: and what’s the number one rule when designing characters with wings? …well?

a handful of students, sighing reluctantly: no good fa-

me (interrupting them): NO good-faith attempts at realism, EVER. you want all the bird dweebs and physicists jumping ship as EARLY AS POSSIBLE so they’re not around to cinemasins your ass when you get to the cool parts of your story, and…ugh, what now, gerald

gerald (my least favorite student): why not just do some minimal research instead of-

me: listen you little shit i can and will singlehandedly tank your 4.0 gpa

me desperately trying to explain my lowering grades by saying it’s because ttpd came out and I can’t focus on anything else.

re: your recent tags about the gameboy sp! that boy's got headphone adapters i POMISE!!!

the magic of modern science. wow...

Twitter is so fascinating. Watching people be like well I can't teach my child to read because I'm just too busy. Like if your kid can't read I can't Imagine how neglectful and probably abusive you are. Schools are equipped to teach kids to read. If they can't retain or reinforce the skills in any way it's not because they're just too stupid that's for sure.

So I knew the American physical education system was fucked up by my gods it really has fucked me up for life like

I am fat. That's just a thing, ya know? And gym class always sucked for me because I needed to get a good grade in Being FitTM but I was (and still am) fat and so gym was a struggle for me. Between trying to keep up for my grade and trying to keep up so people wouldn't make fun of me, my relationship with fitness was just incredibly fucked up since the moment I entered school

Nothing has made this more apparent to me than me being in a boxing class today thinking "you need to keep going otherwise you're going to get a bad grade" and like. I paid for this class. The trainer was an absolute sweetheart and encouraged us to rest or modify the exercise if we needed to. But my brain kept going "push yourself harder you need to be good or you'll fail and everyone will make fun of you" as if a class I paid for full of adults I don't know would really result in that

The American education sucks for a LOT of reasons. But fuck American physical education even more than the rest of it. It makes it impossible to actually be active

i feel so out of place

have you ever seen a white guy

BAN PE ITS A USELESS CLASS!!!!! I CAN EXCEECISE PITSIDE PF SCHOOL AND I ALREADY DO!!! WHY AM I BEING YELLED AT FOR NOT RUNNING!!! WHY AM I BEING KICKED OUT FOR NOT RUNNING!!! THIS GYM TEACHER WHO ISNT EVEN MY GYM TEACHER IS MY BIGGEST OPP!!!

so uhhhhhh, most of my clothes DO NOT FIT dghjksghjkdksdjd

had a conversation about gym class with my friend who I went to school with today - it was depressing but also nice to hear that her experience with it (at that particular school) was just as bad as mine.

I don't think the way my school treated gym class was entirely normal tbh. it was completely different to the school I went to after, anyway. and everyone I talked to there only knew gym class to be a pretty fun, lighthearted thing. at my old school it was only about achievement, you had to be perfect, if not you were usually yelled at. and if you couldn't participate because you were feeling a bit ill (but not enough to stay home from school) you were ridiculed and/or insulted in front of the whole class. this happened with every gym teacher we had over the whole 9 years there.

it felt like two hours of punishment, there was nothing good about it. and it made at least the both of us feel like any kind of exercise/sport, especially in a group setting, was terrifying - for years after. even my much more positive experience at the other school I went to didn't make that go away.

Where do y’all live that everyone was learning to square dance in gym class…

“gym is the best subject in school”

i’m sorry what? it’s not even a subject. it’s just a pervy teacher who went to watch the girls on the run 5k in may even though he doesn’t have a daughter or neice or sibling or ANYTHING that would be in it because he has two adult sons and a twelve year old niece and girls on the run is third through fifth grade and he stares at girls running and makes girls feel like they shouldn’t eat because they’re fat (they’re not, i was in classes with some of the skinniest kids in my school)

why is gym your favorite subject the teacher makes you do jumping jacks sometimes for twenty minutes straight for warmups if health class is there bc if ONE PERSON stops you have to all start over again and go for a full minute why is gym your favorite subject

please tell my I'm not the only one that gets like. really taken aback when people I don't really talk to call me my name.

So I was back to subbing at the elementary school today, which as I've mentioned is my favorite place to work. In some ways it's just the most comfortable to me; this is now my fourth year in a row I've had some kind of job associated with kids of that age group who attend that school, so I know a lot of the students and faculty. Actually, a lot of the faculty who work there today have been working there since I was a student.

Most of them recognized me immediately when I started showing my face there, like I didn't graduate from there over a decade ago, age 11. There was one para, who now works as a library assistant, but who used to monitor lunch and recess. I didn't remember her name but I knew her face. The first time she saw me subbing she was just like "oh, hi Diana."

I was talking to her this morning before school started because a first grade teacher unexpectedly called out, so I filled in for her for the first hour of the day before I started the job I clocked in for and a replacement could be found. But this library assistant usually leads the morning meetings with this first grade class and would help me with attendance and all those other beginning-of-the-day responsibilities.

She was saying to me "You know, why don't you work here full time? You're good with kids. You'd be good at it." In other small talk we'd had last year she had asked me similar things, like if I'd ever consider taking up a steady job at the elementary school, how my school was going, etc. I'm in between college right now but currently not taking classes. And I mentioned how I'm trying to take more sub jobs at the middle and high school so I get more well-rounded—that actually is the age group my education major is in. I've been working with the preschool-to-fifth-grade age range but my plan has always been middle-to-high school English.

And I was telling her about that, and I was like "You know what? When I tell people I want to teach older kids, some say to me stuff like 'oh you never know, you might change your mind'—and only recently I've been wondering if I really would. But I hate it when they're right!"

And that made her laugh. But it's true! I do really love working with the littles, as it turns out. Been doing it several years now. But in terms of anyone who's ever mentioned that to me unprompted, I wanna be like... hey, what do you know?!?!

Zeke is a ridiculous character, he's living rent free in my brain right now.

He ran away from an isolated commune of his own people when he was 16. He spent years hitchhiking. He's been to prison. He knits his own socks and will gladly show you if you ask. He only smokes at work so he has an excuse to step away for a few minutes. He has a strict raw carnivorous diet but has a crippling weakness for taffy and twizzlers. His best friend is a werewolf dad who could win a 'straightest man in at least 13 states' contest. He loves baseball, but only roots for the worst teams. He has a terrible taste in music and an even worst taste in beer.

He could lift a motorcycle with his bare hands no problem but can't defend himself for beans. His major flaw is that he's lacks self worth and is so dedicated with going with the flow that he's lost every relationship he's had because he won't fight for them and will just watch them walk out the door. He's eaten someone's dog. If you're a witch, there's a very real chance, no matter how small, he may have, in fact, fucked your dad.

Twice.