Image description: Roy Kent, glaring during a football match Caption: Roy Kent, all smiles for the press.

HOUNDS CAPTAIN KENT: "P*&S OFF"

"He's here, he's there! He's every-[blanking]-where! ROY KENT! ROY KENT!" It's a chant that's run around Premier League stadiums for as long as many footie fans can remember, though soon it may not ring so true. An uncharacteristic mid-season slump is threatening to bench the AFC Richmond captain, or even to be his undeservedly dour swan song.

An intimidating amalgam of some of the game's most notorious "hard men" — Paul Ince, Roy Keane, Steve Perryman — Kent's talent was first spotted by Sunderland, who signed him as a pre-teen apprentice. A former Champions League winner with Chelsea, his long-frosty relationship with the media has iced over entirely during what appears to be a distracting combination of late-career jitters and mid-life crisis.

"It's because of pricks like you," he explained to me after Richmond's last-gasp win against Watford on Saturday, reprising his prior description of yours truly — to my face — as a colossal prick.

The word around Nelson Road is that the stoic midfield general is struggling to adapt to the almost disturbingly jaunty, utterly non-traditional coaching of newbie Richmond manager Ted Lasso. Yet he seems to be warming to the inexperienced American, particularly since Lasso boldly substituted Hounds star striker Jamie Tartt — who Kent also characterized as a "f(&$ing prick, even worse than you" — just before halftime in the Watford game.

"Obviously, when [Lasso] got 'ere, I thought I was being punked," said Kent, his h-dropping East London accent amplifying a famously unapproachable aura. "But, listen, if you want to work your way into my 'eart, you take Jamie Tartt off the pitch before 'half time."

For someone who appears to have been born with clenched teeth and a frown, this was the equivalent of Kent tearfully bear-hugging the wayward American manager.

"I respected it, he continued, regarding Tartt's substitution. "People say the fans are there for Tartt, which I find a very depressing thing to hear. And, y'know, he scored [against Watford] however he did. And Ted still took him off. And that took b*lls."

When I suggested to Kent that such comments, alongside his recently leading a kick-about with kids at a local primary school, might suggest that he's softening as retirement looms, he defaulted to a deadpanned, "Go f&$@ yourself." "Rumors of [Kent's] softness have been greatly exaggerated," Lasso concurred, with contrasting diplomacy.

Yet Kent's softening, and slowing, on the pitch has been noted by many who've witnessed Richmond's recent performances. Despite his brilliantly setting up Sam Obisanya's injury-time winner against Watford, there's growing pressure on Lasso and his longtime assistant Coach Beard to bench Kent for the first time in his Prodigious Premier League Career.

"Would you put a tarp over the Grand Canyon? Would you douse the Mona Lisa in ketchup?" countered Lasso, who described Kent to me as "the Rock of Gibraltar in human form."

When I asked him hypothetically, what he would think of not featuring in the first team, Kent replied, "Hypothetically, if I punched both of your eyes out and stuffed them up your arse, then told you to walk on your hands, hypothetically, what would you think of that?"

Kent's place in Richmond's starting 11, and indeed in top-flight football, may well depend on his evolving yin-yang relationship with Lasso, who's been drawing praise for his people skills even from erstwhile critics (including this writer).

"Did you ever see those movies with the fast, angry car fellas?" mused the mustachioed manager. ""Well I guess Roy and I are a lot like that." So it looks like, for now at least, Lasso and Kent will continue to suspend final judgement on one another. And this delicately-balanced dynamic between them could significantly shape Richmond's immediate future.

"…Maybe give 'im a chance," said Kent of his oddball gaffer, who's become universally known as "w*nker" among the Richmond faithful. "Because one thing he does know is we're a team. And that's important."

—Trent Crimm, Special Correspondent

(Source)

“Ten years after the canonical events of Gravity Falls, Dipper and Mabel Pines are reunited with their great uncles for one last adventure across the world. Joined by Pacifica, now a close friend of the twins and romantic partner to one of them, as well as Mr. Mahina, a hearty boat captain who has been travelling with the Stans for a few years, the Pines family must solve the world’s mysteries that nobody else would dare to decipher, make sure the dangers of the past are no longer there to harm them, and kick complete ass while doing so.”

hi my name is zachariah and I made a cringe au for my cringe middle school interest... its not really an au its kinda just a theoretical gravity falls season 3 so um. yeah I have been working on these for like a month and im just glad to post it at this point sjhfjdsjf

more notes under the cut!! also reblogs not likes uwu

-since I know thisll never exist and therefore I can do what I want, this would definitely not be a Y-7 show on disney (fuck disney actually alternate universe me is helping alex hirsch steal back the rights to this show) and since theyre all older I think this’d be pg-13 or maybe even MA just because I want mabel to say fuck lmao

-when I say “pacifica is dating one of the twins” I mean shes dating mabel (even all these years later, mabifica still fucking rules), I’m just theoretically straight-baiting people lol (though, dipper and pacifica dated 2 summers after the OG GF summer, if that makes u feel any better, its just that it didnt work out and also shes a lesbian now so... lol)

-the twins went to college!!! mabel is an animation student at my shitty parody of calarts, and dipper is a journalism student (he specifically does supernatural journalism which would be an important part of the series) at west coast tech. also pacifica goes to the same school as mabel and is a fashion design student (I have a drawing of dipper in drag bc of her if anyone wants it lol). their schools are miraculously in the same general area so they share an apartment!! more on this later if I end up continuing this

-themes of this series/season/au/whatever would b like. generational trauma, recovery from abuse (every single one of the main characters have been through some form of abuse besides *maybe* dipper and mabel which in itself is even debatable), self redemption/self forgiveness and like. maybe even some coping with loss thrown in there. also found family DUH what else would I do

-noa/mr. mahina (and his dog scuttles) are new!!! so he originally wasnt gonna be a main character or anything but I got,, really really attached to him and ended up making him into an actual full-blown well rounded character so here we are! uhh what else can I say about him,, hes 63 (4-5 years younger than the twins, this takes place in the summer and his birthday is in december so idk) and hes just an old artsy himbo who loves his dog. absolutely no secrets or backstory here :) nope not at all :)

-samuel is dippers best friend, I wanted to incorporate him more but the boat was getting crowded and hes the least connected to the entire family as a whole so hes less relevant sadly :( he and dipper met in Jew Club™ and then ended up being roommates their first year and it just spiraled from there, if this were a real thing id make it so he facetimes the twins a lot and maybe even gets to visit bc I really love him and think he works well with them all

-ford is super depressed uh,, I guess not entirely but he REALLY spends a ton of time moping about how he basically fucked up his entire family for generations and the fact that he ruined a ton of shit so um. yeah. hes my fave though so expect some good shit >:) also hes gay as hell lemme clear that up lol

-can you think of some reasons for stans memory loss issues besides old age?? :)

-finally; you dont get to know anything about mary. does her name sound even remotely similar to any other name though? shrug. I dont know. 

regardless of how many notes this gets expect me to make more because I have SOOOOO much content I have been wanting to upload but I havent been able to because I havent posted any of these so :)

long long vent below / dead dove etc . not nsft but minors dont interact 

ok SORRY!! SORRY FOR vent postin g on main but this has always been a diary of mine so WHATEVEr i am withering at the fucking seams bro i need to start studying i need to fucking make myself study but its not clicking its not clicking my headphones are broken what will i do if i cant maladaptive daydream while walking back and forth in circles in the dark!!!! yeah its insane whatever but its How I Cope and i need to. i need to block out Outside i need the right music for the right Vibe so i can See it better !!! 

and its like. i feel Too MUch !!!!!!!1TOO MUCH!!!! but NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!! i need to cry i need SOmething but the only cig pack i have is from 2020 and it doesnt feel good at all it just feels Gross and Hot which is a win for the genetic nicotine addiction But not a win for living in FUCKING P*KIST*N!!!!! i cant do ANYTHING here!!!!!!!! cant drink bc thats illegal & cant go outside bc its Exam Season and panoramic and also i burned up all my friendships and all of them r fucking oppressed by their parents too anyways i hate it i hate it 

my head hurts all the Fucking Time i dont even have the energy to punch shit or to write and i Want to draw so badly!!!!! i see it in my head i see it i see it but i cant put it down!!!!!1 i could do it digitally ik i could but setting up digitally means ill have to restart and pray bc my PS is laggy as hell bc this laptop is ancient and i waaant an ipad pro bc i know the ease of drawing will make me draw more which will make my art better but its Fucking Expensive and the price is doubled because again, FUcking shithole needs to have shit imported AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaa also ill be lucky if i get 30 followers maybe my shit just Sucks which is fair but it means i need to stop putting so much Time to it 

but more pressingly my exams start on the 17th anf they dont stop till mid june its the entire fucking A level syll.abus and im gonna be real with ya i was fully planning on game ending by now but! shocker im still kicking and now i have to deal with the Fucking Mess that depressed bitch left me in and i cant study i cant i dont know how to explain it i cant make myself do it !i want to i need to  im trying nobody is fucking Getting It “get motivated” THATS NOT THE FUCKING PROBLEM!!!!!!!!111111 my fucking intestines are trying to eat me too and i Feel that e.d crawling back in and i dont have the !!!!!!!!1fucking time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im gonna peel my skin back im gonna crunch my skull into the fucking pavement AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaa’];;[;’.’

and yeah yeah obviously theres the whole Everything You’ve Ever Made Is  Fucking GAAAAAAARBAAAGEEEEEE thing like. yeah yeah i know ok i KNOW im immensely critical thats all my fucking therapist ever tells me and i keeep getting these. fuckign Flashbacks randomly bc this stupid bitch shrink decided to delve into “”””memories”“““““ right before a time im Supposed To Be Functional like! things! are! repressed! for a reason!!!! and i miss my fucking dad but i never liked him when he was alive so! contain multitudes i guess! 

and i cant Make the Stuff im supposed to make and i know some of my friendships r reliant on that but . i cant and theyre gonna burn and i also hate being so sour abt not having my love language reciprocated in the Right way but its the fucking RSD kicking in in high gear babaey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

theres jsut so much Fuckign Cotton in my head i just want to think again but its been like this for at least 9 years now so i dont think i even know what having a clear head is Like i keep fucking up social interactions bc ??? smile?? face make move??? apparently?? and i wanted Time i just want Time i know im smart i know im good at what i do i just need a Clear head and fucking Time but i dont have it i dont HAVE it time isnt fucking Real

ive been struggling to be more open about my life over here... beyond the sporadic gifsets of things im watching i cant really say ive shared much. but like, i cant keep on avoiding the mortifying ordeal of being known forever (also so much is going through my head all the time and i dont got anyone irl to vent so i gotta do it somewhere, even if it’s 2 the void) so here’s some life updates:

ive got a bunch of unfinished art i owe ppl so that’s what i’ve been trying to get through this past month....

...without much success, usually i come home so tired from school + work i cant be bothered to draw. this is the main thing im working hard about fixing rn. i have doodled more and have done some studies (haven’t posted them tho because i don’t feel great about them ugh)

one thing i’ve decided to try to see if it helps is regular exercise (in the form of solo capoeira training and trail running) + biphasic sleep schedule. in theory both of these things will give me the energy needed to draw... 

after / meanwhile tho, the fancomic project that ive been cooking for about a year-ish is still, at least, slowly progressing... i haven't posted anything about it (tho i have talked to some ppl about it privately ) but i might have to bc i know it’s only a matter of time before someone else does this idea, and i will be v pissed if that happens after i have spent so much creative energy on it lol

im currently on a research + outlining step of said project... these are   the books i’m plowing through, to give you a little idea of the (ridiculously bitting-more-than-she-can-chew) scope of the story sklajdksad)

national/regional/international politics are exhausting and draining as always (more than usual?) and tbh im sort of... actively tuning out of them atm. im trying to focus on “the big picture” so that means less time and mental energy for keeping track of whatever new apocalyptic headline crops up on the news. literally all my time reading, reflecting and studying is going toward collapse(tm) related literature and focused more on deep global issues and it is quite a lot of stuff to study, reflect and read,

(am i using all that as an excuse to not deal w/ the immediate surrounding? that might be part of it, perhaps... this is the only workable solution i have found that doesn’t involve weekly emotional breakdowns tho)

on that note, ive been using the ashes ashes podcast as a guideline for those studies. it’s great stuff and i highly recommend. the guys in charge of it are really nice, and the scope+breath of their research is impeccable. i’ve been telling everyone i meet about it bc it really has been a game-changer of a resouerce.

have felt very depressed at times for various reasons. some new, some not so new... not much to say in that area. v loneliness. much sad. whatevs

university and work were kicking my ass a couple weeks ago, but im getting them under control now (...i think). im getting a kind of ~synergy going too where im using knowledge learned in one place and applying it somewhere else

(like im learning sketchup for design class, but im hoping to later use it for making assets for the graphic designs at work. and the visual + communications stuff i have had to research for work is helping with both uni and my personal projects...)

arrowverse rewatch however is kicking my ass. and im only rlly watching supergirl + flash + batwoman ! but god. it’s literally.... endless... episodes.... if i have to hear another character say “no more secrets!” again im gonna flip

 my enthusiasm for crisis and stuff is making me soldier on tho. (as is my hyperfixation w/ supercorp that has even managed to lure a fellow nerd coworker into it lmao)

while on the topic of tv: i *am* keeping up with the last season of the good place... i haven’t felt the need to talk much about it tho bc i mostly just discuss it with one of my cousins (who is also watching ) and we got our own like little after-show routine where we discuss theories and stuff :)

im watching hdm when it repeats on hbo latam. it’s nice to watch on hd for once rather than crummy 120p streaming sites...

havent sat down to watch 7 worlds 1 planet fully yet but i did watch the first 10 minutes of ep 1: antarctic and predictably cried

my birthday is on sunday 3/3

TW: non graphic mentions of suicide/depression/drug abuse.

i turn 20,, i have had an account here since 2013 (when i was 14) and therefore i have spent 6 years on this accursed site... i wonder if, like webkinz, there will be a day where i log in for the last time and forget about all the stuff that made me /feel/.

anyway yea its my birthday soon and i want to draw your attention cause some people who've been following me/been mutuals for years may vaguely recall my many close encounters with depression-related crises. i never thought i would live to see my 20th birthday. there was never a future i envisioned because i was so wrapped up, and obsessed with thinking, and fantasizing and rolling around in my own sticky angst that i burned bridges, or never even built some.

my teens were frought with mental health problems. ive been in and out of psychiatric inpatient hospitals at least 9 times, gone through several failed therapies and medications. ive had some (severely) traumatic events occur. ive struggled with addiction. and now, as i enter my 20s, i am coming to terms with healing, something i never even /considered/ as a viable option. for too long my automatic thought process was "well i can always just kill myself!" it was an excuse to avoid putting effort into improving myself, a 'plan b' if you will, for when things became challenging or too much.

but since i was kicked out of my abusive, unsupportive household and began my transition last year, things have begun to change. over the last 12 months, i have been forced to adjust to adult life very quickly. and at first it whipped my ass hard. i got a job but due to a pretty bad bender with alcohol i became depressed and quit. then i was unemployed for 6 months, living off the generosity of my partner's family. i am a prideful person, i do not like help, i am the one to OFFER help usually. the shame and pride i felt escalated into my drug abuse last year, and i tried LSD a lot. i had one experience that was amazing; it basically changed my life. more on that in a different post.

basically, i got a job again. and when the winter hit and my seasonal depression kicked in- hard- i made the first move to improve my mental health in *years.* i voluntarily admitted myself to inpatient. i was set up with a professional support system at last, got on meds (that actually fucking work?? you may recall my deep distrust of psychopharmacology) and started just. being more adult.

i filed my taxes for the first time, i am budgeting, taking care of my own transportation, food, clothing. i even planned a little mini vacation for anime boston. ive cut back immensely on the booze, cigarettes, weed and acid. i have outpatient support. i have a handsome wonderful partner and a plethora of wonderful people i surround myself with, and ive cut out all the people who don't add any value to my life/took value away from it.

im still getting my sea legs. there's always the chance i may fall down again. but this time i dont have my mother towering over me and ridiculing me for it. i have a whole network of supportive people there to reach out a hand to help me back up. and ive finally learned to value my own life. i always angsted over how horrible the world was, and how living isn't worth the pain because the pain seemed to outweigh any good things. and it's been REALLY hard changing that pattern of thinking, because it's so easy to believe it's true. but the truth really is that there is no pain versus pleasure. there is pain, and there is pleasure, and there is neutrality. but most importantly, there is my ability to decide HOW these things will affect ME, and my ability to CHOOSE how to respond. in therapy i learned there are thoughts, feelings, and actions. you can't always control your thoughts, and usually not your feelings, but you always have 100% control over how you act and what you say.

so now, im taking actions to affect how i feel, to change how i think. like actively recognizing and challenging intrusive or maladaptive thoughts, learning how to cope with strong emotions and memories, and controlling impulsive behaviors.

the freedom i feel is so refreshing at last. i may still be poor, i may still have no car and no place of my own, but what the hell is the rush? i have maybe 60+ years here. no one gets to tell me how i spend them but me!

happy birthday, me. i no longer dread my birthday, a sign of my impending slavery to society (entering the shitty American system of lower class people.) i am getting comfortable in my body and identity. im going to live and life isn't about what i think other people want, its about what i want, and what im going to do to get it.

so thank you if you've managed to read this far. thanks if you've been with me since the beginning, way back in 2013 when i made that post promising i would follow everyone on tumblr who reblogged it, when i got a little popular. thanks if you're the people who messaged me asking if i was okay or needed to talk; thank you, the people who called for help on me when i posted my suicide notes from high school; thank you to the people who sent me financial help when i was at my lowest and couldn't afford my medications. you all played a part in me coming to this point and i am grateful for you. merci beaucoup, mes amis. je vous aimez.

-scout 2/27/19

98 that’s a lot of questions I wonder if you could answer them all 🤔🙃

*Deep sigh and putting my hands together* BOI IF YOU DON’T THINK I CAN ANSWER ALL THESE BITCHES!! YOU COME INTO MY ASK BOX AND TELL ME “i WONDER” HOE DON’T WONDER ANYMORE. 

don’t come for me like this anon.....here ya go. 

smh

i answered all of these and it took forever so yall better read this shit

enjoy bitch

--

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

-Mugs

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

-both im a sugar addict

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

-bubblegum

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

-prob either really quiet or really loud

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

-I hate soda

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

-I really like pastel and goth styles

7. earbuds or headphones?

-earbuds

8. movies or tv shows?

-Both

9. favorite smell in the summer?

-Vanilla

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

-Flag Football (stealing the flags) and badminton

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

-dont really eat in the mornings but prob granola bar or left overs

12. name of your favorite playlist?

-Shower lol

13. lanyard or key ring?

-lanyard

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

-Sour gummi worms..that shit is CRACK

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

-Great Gatsby

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

-apple sauce or on one leg

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

-all black converse

18. ideal weather?

-warm and sunny

19. sleeping position?

-stomach, side, in a ball

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

-Laptop or phone

21. obsession from childhood?

-My little pony, littlest pet shop, Disney, elephants, Chinese food

22. role model?

-Tara Strong, Walt Disney, Francis Dominic 

23. strange habits?

-tugging my hair, biting my nails, wiggling on my heels like a penguin and going up stairs on all fours (when im home)

24. favorite crystal?

-answered

25. first song you remember hearing?

-American idiot- Green Day

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

-Eat 

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

-Eat

28. five songs to describe you?

-idk Cartoon theme songs lol

29. best way to bond with you?

-make me laugh or talk about disney

30. places that you find sacred?

-Flower gardens

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

-anything with my high heel boots

32. top five favorite vines?

-Road Work Ahead, Oh my god he on X Game mode, What the Fuck Richard, This house is fucking nightmare!, Happy one year babe! Im 27. 

33. most used phrase in your phone?

-YEET, Yall and bitch

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

-Stanley Steamer, The First5California.com song 

35. average time you fall asleep?

-now its 12 am -1 am... use to be like 10pm

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

-oh god that was so long ago i dont even know but it was one of the first ones like pepe or some some

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

-suitcase

38. lemonade or tea?

-raspberry ice tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

-dont like lemon in my desserts 

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

-A condom was thrown on my desk in french class (it was unopened thank god)

41. last person you texted?

-my mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

-Jacket pockets

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

-HOODIE

44. favorite scent for soap?

-Vanilla or tropical

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

-Superhero

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

-Big shirt and no shorts (underwear obvi)

47. favorite type of cheese?

-I fucking hate cheese

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

-Strawberry or Lemon

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

-Its always fun to do the impossible- Walt Disney

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

-For my birthday my friend got my a “Sorry for your loss” card and i cried for 30 mins

51. current stresses?

-um everything..college and being the only snacc in my household

52. favorite font?

-comic sans

53. what is the current state of your hands?

-Still have both of them

54. what did you learn from your first job?

-That people are assholes 

55. favorite fairy tale?

-Disneys Rapunzel 

56. favorite tradition?

- My grandma got all the grandkids pjs on Christmas eve every year and we would wear them to sleep 

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

-Anxiety, Depression (sorta), Dropping my churro on the ground at Disneyland

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

-Quick Wit, Art abilities?, Standing on my head and making weird ass noises

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

-Already answered

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

-A really cool and cute magical one!!

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

-From Once Upon A Time, honestly they ave the best quotes. “So when I win your heart, Emma- and i will win it-it will not be because of any trickery, but because you want me”- Killian orrrrrrr He smells like forest”- Regina

62. seven characters you relate to?

-Juvia (FairyTail), Star (SVTFOE), Mabel (Gravity Falls), Maybec (Kingdom Keepers, sassy and artistic), Bubbles and Blossom (PPG) and Belle (beauty and the beast)

63. five songs that would play in your club?

-Boyfriend: BTR, Dancings not a crime: Panic!, Bang bang: Jessie, Ari and Nicki, Read you, wrote you: Drag race lol and Busted from Phineas and Ferb because I can

64. favorite website from your childhood?

-Webkinz, PetPetPark (STILL SALTY ABOUT IT) Club Penguin, Build a bear, Poptropica, i played every game yall

65. any permanent scars?

-only emotionally 

66. favorite flower(s)?

-Roses and water lilies..and every flower cause they pretty.. oh Dahlias too

67. good luck charms?

-petting my dogs. 

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

-Mango anything or Cherry. I hate cherry flavoring. 

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

-I have a great memory so i usually remember how i learned it, but.. Did you know that the water on the Jungle Cruise in Disneyland is 3 feet deep and dyed brown? Plus the water in all the parks is a special mix that doesn't contain chlorine because alot of people are allergic so its safe to touch? (learn from a disney doc)

70. left or right handed?

-right

71. least favorite pattern?

-those ugly ones on leggings.

72. worst subject?

-Math or english (haha and i like to write)

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

-Grapes and teriyaki sauce. if they on the plate. ill just dip them in. I have an addiction to teriyaki sauce. 

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

-I dont take any unless I have my period and my cramps are usually at a 10 so i try and take it when they at a 5

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

-when i was young 

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

-I LOVE potatos: Fries and mash are best plus baked. I HATE chips thou

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

-Any bright flower or ivy

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

-coffee, dont like sushi

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

-AHHHH my license is soooooo bad. I had strips of red in my hair (got it when i was 15-16) and i didnt know they took your pic at your permit test. Its awful. School is def better and my senior photo pops. 

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

-Jewel

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

-Fireflys (arent they the same?)

82. pc or console?

-Console 

83. writing or drawing?

-Both but im better at writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

-Podcasts but I dont listen to alot. 

84. barbie or polly pocket?

-I played more with Littlest Pet Shop and My Little Pony lol (i have 400) prob Barbie thou

85. fairy tales or mythology?

-oooooooofffff cant decide

86. cookies or cupcakes?

-oooooff i love both but cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

-wasting my life away.....or heights...certain bugs

88. your greatest wish?

-to be happy and have all my dreams (life, job, romance,etc) happen. Plus going to every Disney Park in the world.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

-Depends on the situation but sometimes you need to take care of yourself before others. If you arent doing good, how the hell you suppose to take care of others. 

90. luckiest mistake?

-hmmm idk being born

91. boxes or bags?

-depends on what im carrying but prob bags

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

-I love fairy lights

93. nicknames?

-any mispronunciation of my name, Dean, Big D (yes people call me this), Star, Sassafras and some more that yall dont get to know :) You can give me a nickname if ya want

94. favorite season?

-Spring and Summer

95. favorite app on your phone?

-Tumblr, Snapchat, Tsum Tsum 

96. desktop background?

- Its items from super mario and mario kart

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

- Eight

98. favorite historical era?

-oof im a history buff but I do love Greek and Roman because I love mythology...Maybe even 1800s.

hi if you got to the end of this then I love you and for proof leave me a 🐰

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? teacups but also wine glasses and coffee mugs . soda cans if and when i was young

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? choco

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? gum

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? i genuinely wonder because i work with kids and i thought i had my emotions and thoughts pretty muted but it is so clear what they think. they probably just described me as shy since i couldn’t utter a word

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?cans

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? tomboy grunge preppy n formal

7. earbuds or headphones? earbuds

8. movies or tv shows? tv

9. favorite smell in the summer? watermelon

10. game you were best at in p.e.?idk

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

12. name of your favorite playlist?

13. lanyard or key ring? lanyard

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? jolly ranchers

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? dante’s inferno was cool

16. most comfortable position to sit in? criss cross

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? converse

18. ideal weather? sunny w slight breeze

19. sleeping position? all possible

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? laptop but i do like physical writing

21. obsession from childhood? rocks and money

22. role model?

23. strange habits? making my room as messy as possible and turning off my alarms subconsciously

24. favorite crystal? idk

25. first song you remember hearing? since you’ve been gone LOL

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? used to be playin fun sports now i just like lying around drinking a nice beverage

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? lying in bed or on sofa w roomies cuddled in blankets hehe and watching smth childish!

28. five songs to describe you? not sure ! like 3 depressing song one good pop karaoke bop and like an obscure 1975 song prob

29. best way to bond with you? i think i bond well with people most when we’re like? doing a long walk or like in a situation where talking is rly the only thing u can do since i get bored esp if im only acquaintances

30. places that you find sacred?my bed and forest streams

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? just . a good all black outfit

32. top five favorite vines?

33. most used phrase in your phone? prob i wanna die or smth about sleep

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? idk i judt have a radiohead song stuck in my head rn

35. average time you fall asleep? 2ish

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?probably one of those liek and rage quit memes

37. suitcase or duffel bag?suitcase

38. lemonade or tea? tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? cake

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? we had lunch ladies that had like a physical fight and the twitter video went viral lol Lso our principal had an affair w some other upper figure st our school

41. last person you texted? my sister

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?pants

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? hoodie

44. favorite scent for soap? any non citrus ones

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? fantasy

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? pjs

47. favorite type of cheese? blegh

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? dragonfruit? or pomegranate

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

51. current stresses?

52. favorite font?

53. what is the current state of your hands?what

54. what did you learn from your first job?

55. favorite fairy tale?

56. favorite tradition?

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? **** ******** thoughts and self image stuff

58. four talents you’re proud of having? guitar playing baking hair and sleeping

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? comedy or horror

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

62. seven characters you relate to?

63. five songs that would play in your club?just taemin britney spears and lady gaga on repeat

64. favorite website from your childhood?

65. any permanent scars?

66. favorite flower(s)?

67. good luck charms?

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? milk in general

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

70. left or right handed?iright

71. least favorite pattern? probably cheetah/tiger prints i find them cheesy now

72. worst subject? every

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? like a 2 LMAO if it bothers me enough that i think about it then boom drug me up!

75. when did you lose your first tooth? i think like 7?

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? God. all of the fried.... mashed ... baked..chipped i literally cannoy drecide

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? uh well i got a bamboo rn

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? coffee from gas

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? they both honestly look ok to me given how much i hate my face but my friends laugh at my school id sayin i look angry lmao

80. earth tones or jewel tones? earth but sometimes jewel

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? whats the difference

82. pc or console? pc

83. writing or drawing?draw

84. podcasts or talk radio?

84. barbie or polly pocket?

85. fairy tales or mythology?mythology

86. cookies or cupcakes?cookies

87. your greatest fear? failure

88. your greatest wish?to not rly worry too much about money

89. who would you put before everyone else? myself HAHA

90. luckiest mistake?

91. boxes or bags? box

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?sunlight & fluorescents

93. nicknames?

94. favorite season? summer? maybe idk spring may beat it soon

95. favorite app on your phone? snapchat

96. desktop background? ghibli

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? 2

98. favorite historical era? idk

She-Ra Rewatch: season 3 and onwards through season 4, and boatloads of Introspection time!

So Ive been rewatching She-Ra with my partner, because sharing Entrapdak is caring. I could probably squee on about that for a century or more (because eeee, sharing things i love with people i love AND THEY EVEN PAY ATTENTION TO THE THINGS AND REMEMBER THEM!)...but ill spare you, kind internet strangers who for some reason find my thoughts mildly interesting enough to be reading this. This is going to be a lot. Like, a LOT. A lot especially from a stranger that youve probably only seen a notification from due to me sticking a heart on your content or for reblogging something lovely youve made in pictures or words. I dont think anything is going to be violently trigger-y because im not always great at judging that stuff and also ive yet to feel quite comfy enough to be  fully open-posting specifics about my own past trauma, other than a vague allusion to self-harm and distant-ish unspecified abuse aaaand the usual childhood garbage truck of assholes....but i suppose you could possibly draw some darker potential conclusions from the content im focused on. Also, my ADHD makes it incredibly hard to keep to a straight and non-branching narrative so...ramble-y bits and expressions of brain frustration ahoy. Either way...you are forewarned, just in case. Sorry in advance, this is going to be a small booklet by the time Im done explaining, and thinking, and then attempting to stick words to abstract feels which sometimes im great at, and then others i fucking suck at...but at least this is all written and not me trying to say this to any of your faces! Thats....a mercy all of its own. Haa...  Anyway, while rewatching with my partner, I realized just how much more painful parts of it are to sit through now...they were the first time, and each time since, but NOW having spent a while mulling over the series as a whole a bunch, and reading a lot of other peoples writings on here and finding myself largely in agreement with most Entrapdak fan’s assessment of things, I just....feel like all the air is ripped out of me during some moments, watching  with keener insight. And despite thinking i had myself reasonably well figured out by my age, its all also made me further consider a few things about myself as well. Particularly my notable internalized fury response to chunks of it which have been consistent through all my viewings of SPOP. With Hordak at least, its way easier to understand my reactions. For me at least. Maybe not so much for the people around me. And, shittier due to intensity and subject matter, but still easier in the long run because...the broken bits in me that he resonates with are fresher and sharper and still more recent, like within the last ten years, and thus more towards the front shelves in my head, compared to things that resonate with Entrapta, which are all old, lifelong dull aches at this point. I feel like nothing i can point to is fully sufficient to fully express my feels involving Hordak. But, maybe the best representative moment is with the crying i do every damn time I see his face looking up at Prime just after he glimmer and catra were beamed up...because ive seen that face in the mirror. I HAVE MADE THAT FACE. That same. Goddamn. Face. I may not have gotten a jab to the back of the neck directly from the person I made it at...but they often seemed to silently goad me to harm myself in an attempt to jolt my brain out of getting stuck in re-looping through what theyd just done/said to me. Likewise, much of his interactions with Entrapta are very...very weirdly familiar in feeling, but in a good way. Watching the stuff with Hordak hurts because fuck me if it isnt frequently like watching myself back in 2008ish to 2013, which was the duration of the worst parts of that particular circle of hell i parked my ass in. So...that makes sense. Hes so well written in those moments, it occasionally gave me PTSD flashbacks (still does a little, but now im prepared and braced for it and can shrug it back off....thanks, lifetime of therapy and years of studying abnormal psychology! Still totally not an expert, just very passionate...just, as a disclaimer).  Entrapta though...Entrapta is a different story. Mostly, I see Entrapta and in her free expressions of delight and joy and her bouncy enthusiasm I am reminded of a younger, less discouraged me in some ways, and in others, a “me” I could have been, but...well, extremely early-onset anxiety and depression made me insanely self-conscious super-super early on...not that i was great at hiding or...i guess the term people seem comfy with is “masking”? Which was a huge problem, or so it was in the 80s when far less was understood of such things. Id do so for a bit and then would forget to, in a way (because id forget long enough to go and trust again reflexively) and would get badly bullied and would squish everything down until id feel a crumb of safety again, and then almost instantly ADHD would pop that mask right the rest of the way off aaand it would start all over again. Ad nauseam until my teen years, where the depression sort of “fixed” that, and made it much easier to destroy my desire to share much of myself freely at all, save for with one or two people, and to a less deep extent a broader circle of nerd friends. Course, then i hit 30 and ran out of the majority of fucks I used to give. Or I became so damaged and salted with anger that parts of me dont grow any fucks anymore? Either way, plowshares to swords, WHEEEE!) And, maybe thats where this time while watching, I started to really think back to all that, and to how i see Entrapta treated by the other princesses, or really just in general except by Hordak...and why it burns my biscuits so badly. Every time I see someone roll their eyes at Entrapta’s beautiful unbridled enthusiasm or try to make it seem distasteful or at least weird and unwanted and uncomfortable for them but then dont even bother to try coming to terms with why they feel that way... or how they seem to feel free to grab and manhandle her without her consent, or the way they try to lessen her contributions because shes non-normative? Like its the fucking least she can do to make up for being weird in their space (...okay, that might just be the anger kicking in..but i dont feel like its an entirely innacurate assessment, is it?)  All of that...seeing it inflicted upon someone, It feels like someones punched me right in the damn sternum, but because its a hurt that im so desensitized to, it seems to have a much different effect than the sharp, violent crushing pain that i feel when I relate to Hordak a little too well for comfort. Again, i could go on, but its nothing more eloquent people on here havent already spoken volumes on. And my first gut reaction is always “I dont understand! why is that their reaction to her?! it doesnt seem logical at all, i dont seem to be able to parse it correctly, how is this acceptable? I HOPE SHE IMMOLATES YOU ALL.”. Which...I suppose isnt entirely usual for me (the silent wishing that people be immolated, I mean...i blame my past years of working in retail. And devouring too much Warhammer 40k contentl).  (oh gods...and this is going to be the most clusterfucky part cause i can feel my meds kicking in and thats gonna be hard to keep coherence on but i gotta get this all out of my head or ill forget it or get too scared of you fucking BRILLIANT insightful smart people on here and then ill continue to live scared and regretful that i never said..anything, and just sat here like “noticeme, entrapdak sempais!”  Ehhn...which is to say, if this is a garbage dump from here down, dont worry, when i wake up ill fix it...but hopefully itll at least make a tiny bit of sense ) But I realized something...something I hadnt ever rememberd much about due to the shitty neuronormative (apology if thats wrong term) behaviors continuing over years and years but in less and less directly aggressive ways as i grew older and was more prone to losing my shit in , (and likely because I got excessively lucky and managed through...uhhh...agonizing determination? Sheer stubbornness? Alleviatory rebalancing of universal karma? fuck if i know --to  curate a surprisingly supportive circle of other castoffs and misanthropes.) That was exactly how people used to treat me.  OKAY THISLL BE EDITED LATER to add in the rest of what i was gonna say...im...too full of Ambien sleep meds and damn write it anymore...and im aing trouble separating realigty and dream...an i k apawing at the kybord...not safe Lov yous for reading this far. Il fix it later, swears.

SasoSaku Xmas Collab

notes modern college au bc im a sucker for cute couple holidays and cringy refs to social media. sasori and sakura have a 2 yr age difference. collab with the amazingly talented and super sweet friend YakumoDT!! you can find them on Pixiv and Twitter and they are definitely worth checking out!!!

AO3 || FFnet

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“Wait, keep the door open!” Sakura shouts from the other side of the subway entrance towards an elderly man planning to enter the transport, dragging a very, very out-of-breath Sasori behind her. She enters into a sprint, and successfully manages to close in on the door before it could close in on them.

Sakura quickly thanks the man before sitting down in the relatively empty wagon, and Sasori plops into the seat beside her, struggling to breathe properly through the stitches he must undoubtedly be suffering through right now. Looking around, Sasori concludes that no one of knowledge was around to see him in - what he loved to say - this despicable state, and he lays his head on her shoulder to continue his recovery from near death.

“We wouldn’t have to run if you had told me earlier you wanted to go to the park, y’kno.” Sakura crosses one of her legs over the other, taking out her smartphone in a course of habit.   The startup sound is loud, and she briefly flinches at the echo in the wagon. Damn, forgot the headphones, again. “It’s on the other side of the bridge, after all.”

Sasori doesn’t reply through his irregular breathing – but he probably would if he could.

Sakura was feeling less exhausted than she should, considering they’ve been walking around the city for hours now, stuffed to the brim with dinner and the cakes after, and she hasn’t visited the gym in a good while this season.

Sasori, well–

Let’s just say that Sasori wasn’t enthusiastic about any sport clubs at their University.

“I mean,” Sakura punches the password combination in with one hand while Sasori worms his hand around her other, his eyes glued to a poster about a famous drama stuck to the wall across from the duo. “I wouldn’t have guessed you to be so spontaneous twice in the span of-” A brief calculation of the time between the end of November and today. ”Three weeks.”

In fact, Sasori was the exact opposite of spontaneous, planning all of his projects and events so thoroughly in advance it even kind of helped Sakura improve on her procrastination habits; not that she was all that bad on waiting for deadlines, but she snuck in breaks more often than she likes to admit here and there. Needless to say, she was surprised when he brought up the idea of a date around Christmas, right after she informed him of such event.

The only sound cutting through the quiet was the intercom, informing them that they’re five stops away from their destination, and Sakura opts for silence for the rest of the ride. It wasn’t that she particularly enjoyed the peace  - especially when she was around friends; her need to fill empty spaces with new bits of conversation was an equally stubborn habit of hers -, but the streets of Tokyo just loved to blast whatever fits the mood in this season as loudly as they can over speakers – and on a long term, sometimes a free day at home alone was a needed luxury. The subway in comparison is almost like a liminal space, save for the occasional robotic announcements and opening of doors.  

Sasori doesn’t seem to mind either – but that was expected of his person, anyways.

He nudges her shoulder when their respective stop is announced, and the station is completely devoid of any living souls when they exit the Subway, no doubt that everyone was to be found on the other side of the bridge. Sakura takes the time to shoot a picture of the ghost scenery, and Sasori scoffs.

“Instagram?”

“Duh.”

The park isn’t any better in that regards, but the few streetlights and beautiful scenery of the city across from the river they were near at make up for it.

“Thank you for the dinner, by the way. That was really sweet of you.” Sakura says, scrolling through her social media feed not touched in approximately two days. Pictures of her friends amongst cakes and pets, some choosing to stay inside while others were spending time with their significant others. “Will you let me brag?”

“I don’t even look as presentable as you do in this state.” Sasori huffs beside her, puffs of air disappearing into the dark night, his face reddening from the biting frost. He’s always been more prone to colder temperatures than her, which was no surprise when you knew the south was currently sporting 20°C and above in December. “So, no.”

“Aw, you think I look good.” Sakura doesn’t look up from her phone, but she can clearly imagine the frown adorning her boyfriend’s face.

“Quiet.” His gloved hand around her tightens, and she smiles. Her humor is short lived, however, when Sasori grabs her pink beanie in a swift moment of distraction.

“Hey-” she cuts in, being surprised at all, but her complaint is muted when she sees how utterly ridiculous it looks poorly adjusted on his head, seeing as he was only using one hand to put it on.  She huffs, putting her phone away to help him put the beanie on, properly. They’re nearly the same height to begin with, so it poses less of a problem.

Sasori’s warm breath fans against her face, and she’s aware that protesting his theft is futile.  “Pink really suits you. You’re cute.”

“I’m cold.” Sasori corrects when she pats her hand on his head, beanie successfully covering those red ears of his. She can make out vague mutterings of ‘didn’t bring mine’ when they close their hands back together, and she rolls her eyes at his antics.

“You mean you keep forgetting to bring the ones you stole from me.”

“That is such a harsh wording.”  His lips twitch into what almost passes for a smile. “I borrowed them because pink looks good on me, obviously. I fail to understand your lack of empathy in that situation.”

“Uh-huh.” Her tone is laced with sarcasm, but his silly reply makes her smile all the same. “I can’t believe you’re already graduating in a few months with that attitude.”

“And I-” He nods towards a path that lead a bit astray from the riverside, and they continue their walk into that direction. “Cannot fathom how you still have two years ahead of you.”

Far more if she decided to specialise further, but for now becoming a surgeon was a pretty good plan to accomplish within six years. She squeezes his hand, and he turns his head to look at her.

“Well, if you hadn’t quit medical school.” And didn’t need the money to from tutoring freshmen, like me. “We probably wouldn’t have met in the first place.”

Sasori hums, but his expression doesn’t seem all that regretful. “It just wasn’t the thing for me.”

“I still remember the campus headline about the star student who poisoned cadavers and openly shit-talked my professor in front of everyone just to get kicked off the program. I still wonder who that was?”

Knowing Sasori for a good while now, the culprit didn’t seem to be that far off the mark. She laughs as he shoves her half-heartedly to the side, him being banned from her campus surely a fine reminder of his stint. That didn’t stop him from picking her up once in a while, of course.

“I have to admit, if my mother ever found out I quit medical school for art, she’d surely kick me out of the house. Remember how horrified she was when you admitted it to her?”

“She called me a low life and a freeloader.” His face turns grim at the memory, and she can’t blame him for it, the utter hostility her mother radiated at the dinner table a sight in itself.

“Mom barely missed you with the butter knife, too.”

Sasori shrugs, and Sakura wishes the memory of that humiliating evening would eventually escape her mind as quickly as possible. But hey, at least Dad likes him and his tragically bad puns.

They come to stop before a bench that seemed to not have been used at all, today, and Sasori uses his foot to kick the powdery snow off the surface. It remains as quiet as when they entered the park, streetlamps being the only source of light, and the absence of any curious glances feels vaguely foreign to her.

“To be fair” Sasori begins, their hands still clasped together, their bodies squished close for a tiny bit of shared warmth. “I didn’t expect us to work out either, at the beginning.”

His comment completely throws her out of the loop, and she’s ready to question his line of logic, when he cuts into her own thought before it can escape her mouth. “I’m not ungrateful, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“I don’t think we didn’t turn out to be that different from each other, if that’s what you assumed.” She replies, her eyes focused on a streetlamp in front of her instead of the man beside her, but she can see the brief confusion crossing his face, out of the corner of her eye. “I mean, you rubbed off on me a lot, too. Take the sarcasm, for example.”

Sasori snorts. “Bad example.”

“You’re right, we’re also both prone to get cold feet whenever I suggest love hotels.”

“That is even worse.”

“You’re right, how about that one time Deidara nearly walked in on us and we-”

“How did I survive this for four years, again?”

She moves to tap his nose, and he sticks out the tip of his tongue in response. “You deserve four medals of honor, soldier.”

“I deserve a lifetime supply of medals.” He mimics her movements, but opts to pinch her cheek instead, and when he draws his hand back, there’s small chunks of highlighter on his dark gloves. So much for that wonder setting spray.

The past few months flash before her, and as if on cue, she feels oddly melancholic.

“It’s been nearly four years already, huh.” She rests her head on his shoulder, knowing that the mere thought of it shouldn’t be making her depressed, but here it is, crawling it’s way into her mind on restless nights. “I can’t believe you’re going to New York, after this. I always wanted to go there.”

“I’m sure you’ll be able to see it, someday.” Sasori is tracing her gloved knuckles with his fingers, but he doesn’t look at her.

She would love to punch herself for her moods, sometimes.

“Promise me you’ll call me at least once a day.” A beat. “Facetime. On Skype.”

“Is American Internet even good enough to sustain the distance?” Sasori’s tone is light, and she’s tempted to box him just for that horrible implication.

She’s glad that he isn’t able to see her from this angle, but she can feel the familiar sting of tears swelling her eyes. Shit.

“I’ll miss you.”

“Sakura, are you crying?” He’s probably heard the irregularity in her voice, damn it.

“I’m just” She separates their hands to wipe her eyes before they can expose her any further. “I’m just really happy for you, that’s all.”

“Ah, about that, actually.” Sasori’s blank expression is mostly in place, of course, but he avoids her gaze, and she’s rarely seen him nervous around her. “I contacted my manager the other day, and called the deal off.”

Sakura’s eyes widen, and she’s utterly dumbfounded at the statement.

…

“What?!” She has to get up just to process her thoughts, because she can’t believe what she just heard. “Why?!”

Sasori looks equally caught off by her reaction, and he buries his hand in the pockets of his outer coat, his body leaning against the bench, relaxed. “I didn’t want to do it.”

It’s not sadness that’s ruling the forefront of her mind right now, but indignation.

“What are you, 12?!” She says, her nails digging into her palms, her loud voice cutting sharp through the quiet, empty environment. “You can’t just call off your future!”

“The decisions mine to make, Sakura.” A beat. “I’m an adult as much as you are.”  

She’s not angry at his attitude – tries not to be – but it’s hard when Sasori looks so completely detached from it. He grabs her wrist, suddenly, and she’s back on the bench, fuming.

“I just turned 24.” He begins, brushing a strand of pink hair that’s hanging flat in front of her face to the side. “I have a good amount of sponsors and commissioners in Japan to begin with. Throwing that away would be just as pointless. Besides” He meets her gaze, and his eyes are devoid of any hesitance. “I wouldn’t want to go where you can’t follow.”

A sense of guilt washes over her anger, and she breaks the eye contact to watch the fresh fall of snow.

He can’t leave because I’m stuck here.

“But…didn’t you say yourself how hard these opportunities were to even come by?”

“They’ll come by again.” He huffs. “You’re more important than my paycheck.”

A drag. You’re a drag, Sakura.  

“Why don’t you just break up with me then?” She can’t believe she’s even blurted that out now, but her mouth has always it’s way of getting her into regretful decisions. “That way you don’t have to-” She’s getting teary again. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

Sasori doesn’t seem stunned by her suggestion, however, and the thing’s said faster than her ability to jump into worse confessions. “I believe a proposal would be the complete opposite intention, though.”

“You can call your manager and- wait-”

Did he just-

“What?”

Sasori’s answer is just as elegant as her’s. “Uh, yeah. I-” He seems to fumble for words, almost as if he was flustered. “I want to get married. To you.” He tacks on, like she required a clarification.

The snowflakes are uncaring to the deafening silence around them, and several catch in strands of red hair that poke out of his beanie. Sasori’s pretty brown eyes are glued to her, and she’s sure he’s actually waiting for some sort of response.

Sakura’s face feels warm, and she’s sure that she must be looking like a tomato. The tears she’s been holding back, however, flow freely, grazing her chin and ending in her scarf.

“I hate you so much, right now.” She sniffs, her vision blurring. That’s the last thing she expected to happen, god.

Sasori’s regarding her with worry, and his hands freeze in mid-air, unsure if he should grant her comfort or distance; but her tears weren’t rooted in anger, or sadness, not at all.

“I….I guess if you don’t want to-”

But before he knows it, Sakura buries her face into the crook of his neck and wraps her arms around his shoulders, her voice coming out muffled.

“Of course I want to.”

Arms rest around her torso, and she feels his breath tickling her ear. When she’s calmed her own breathing, he speaks. “Let’s do this properly, then.”

Sasori moves to stand before her while she blows her nose with a tissue, and when he feels that she’s fully  back on track, he coughs into his hand to get her attention. Her eyes are straining to keep themselves open in the biting cold, but something inside of her cracking and bleeding warmth is making her even more jittery.

Sakura hasn’t been this nervous since entering medical school.

Slowly, in all his grace, Sasori – the ever so bashful, arrogant, proud Sasori – lowers his legs until he’s kneeling  front of her, one foot propped on the ground to give him balance in the snow, resembling nothing less but a prince from a distant kingdom wishing to whisk her away in the dead of the night.

He takes her gloved hand with both of his, gently, and she blushes.

“Will you, Sakura Haruno, marry me?” he says, and the words are melodic to her ears – this was her fairytale story.

“A thousand times” She surely must look awful, her makeup smeared and her smile reaching from ear to ear, but there wasn’t anything in this world that would ruin her mood. “Yes.”

He gestures her not to move, fumbling for something in the pockets of his coat, and she patiently waits in anticipation, her hands propped on her knees. He narrows his eyes as he pats around his body impatiently, before realisation finally hits him. He swears quietly, and she’s already knowing what must have happened.

“I… left the ring in the wrong coat, in my Apartment. We have to go back right n-” Sasori is interrupted as Sakura tackles him into the snow, effectively knocking all air out of his lungs. Sakura doesn’t let him collect his bearings as she moves on her own accord, lowering her face until their lips touch.  He hugs her, and they embrace each other, there, in the snow, without a care in the world. It’s not until they run out of air that they part, and she speaks.

“I truly hate you so much, right now.”

There are no fireworks, no grande festival, no masses to share this moment with, but Sasori’s smiling at her, and she wouldn’t trade this view for anything else in this life.

“And I love you, you absolute mess.”

She laughs, teary, and sweeps in for another kiss.

When they’re back on the subway, having caught the last train, Sakura stares at the red string tied around her finger, Sasori’s temporary alternative, said hand intertwined back with Sasori’s and she’s longing to squish the last of her doubts.

“Is this really okay? Not going abroad, I mean.”

“Hey, I surely won’t starve if I were to marry the brilliant future doctor and show-off, Sakura Haruno.”

“Oh, shush you.”

okay, here are the liveblogs of the entirety of she-ra season 1

because i don’t know how to consume media responsibly

see individual episodes under the cut: 

ep1 - catra fucking purred with excitement, i had to go back to confirm, the furries are back at it again - and she sleeps at the foot of adora's bed... incredible - does she just sleep with her helmet on? wait i guess all these soldiers don't have sleep clothes, but still? - the adora-glimmer-beau fight scene was hilarious. beau and glimmer just straight up screaming at adora with enough force to shake? excellent. - the way glimmer runs with the sword away from danger is SO good - glimmer just DOESN'T stop screaming and honestly, mood - lmao

ep2 - jesus CHRIST the opening is physically killing me - the amount of times beau's voice breaks - the way they animated people moving is just top notch in general - the voices also... very good - hell yeah floppy eared deer people - neigh - incatrible - damn just keep tasing her i guess... rude - catra fucking bodice ripping the netting hell yeah - the transformation makes her and the sword slightly taller like, why??? - :C catra - "wait, whose horse was this" well it's yours now

ep3 - beau's voice continues to be excellent - the amount of screaming beau and glimmer do on average is also excellent - how are you not enraptured by horsie rolling in the grass next to you? - omg pegacorn floppin around - beau and glimmer are masters of the "oh shit" run. trot? - granny is cute - catra has such disaster lesbean vibes - i dont have my glasses you'll have to speak up - how does horsie's wings keep changing color - also i've completely accepted the ridiculosity of all these names but still... - the arc werewolf man makes when kicked - thank u for validating me swiftwind - wait where do you put the sword when not in use

ep4 - how's they get adora's horde jacket out of the bushes near that village? also she lost her force captain pin rip - so do they just never change clothes? i had high hopes from adora putting on stuff to cover the horde symbol but i guess not - aw sleebover - okay they have no sleep clothes here either - general is hot - did catra draw princess on a horse or - zarkon is a twink now. twunk? - is that jasper's voice for that side character - the beast of beast island - those are not tree destruction foley sounds - yeah stop the machines poisoning ur land! environmentalism! - this is a small kingdom. these kingdoms are all really small? - you've been friends for like 2 days - where did they get horde outfits - beau's lil exclamations are.... Good - YAY SLEEBOVER

ep5 - something tells me adora doesn't like boats - i HAVE to mute the theme song. just, wow - go fish........ - who voices scorpia because Nice - nice violin - mermista is relatable - "They're coming right for the Gate!" mermista's big groan is a mood - is catra's MO from now on just gonna be to leap up to wherever Adora is doing hero things and monologue at her - i wanna be on 8-foot-tall woman's side as well - lmao christen the ship right there

ep6 - lmao glimmer's face when she-ra boutta bust it open - only tiny food........ - drunk adora is cute - did they just leave the sword - fizzy lifting drinks - okay so the sword is just animated when its convenient, otherwise i guess adora vores it or something

ep7 - that last episode was trite so now im gonna draw while watching - i love when they reference adora's depressing upbringing. "no i don't know what an aunt is but i was hoping someone would eventually explain". also beau is a bro - so lightspinner is shadowsneaker or whatever, right - naptime - i hope they explain who greyskull is etc sometime - do you not know what a pillow is why are you lying backwards - adora trust ur friends more pls it's been at least a week by now - thats new - catra no

ep8 - soooo prom means they'll change their clothes right - damn scorpia's a princess, what does it mean that they gave up their gemstone thing? no magic? - a true soldier by upbringing, adora - hell YEAH catra in a tux - neau just gotta wear a croptop - how are they gonna let catra in her whole bodys a weapon - hell yeah these ppl snazzy as fuck - so what the fuck is swiftwind doing these days anyway - adora is me. hormf snacks - man scorpia why cant u just let ppl chill - hell yeah sexual tension dance time - how do they know how to dance - catra is smooth - "you don't understand" ouch that is like the worst thing to say to smol frost princess - catra no - "I don't want you to" man she is such a... kovu's mom in lion king 2 or 3

ep9 - beau maDE THEM FIGURINES IM CRY - rip mermista - captain dude is so dumb - scorpia is going to kill u - this rebellion is clearly not combat ready - the black garnet is the one that scorpia's family gave the horde right? - really digging the low res pixels of the cell door being kicked for some reason - kyle pls - beau's expressions are SO good - well this sucks - if adora actually got her memories wiped and rejoined the herd and catra had to pretend that everything was normal man that'd be a good fanfic - glimmer thats very anime of u - catra, a lil bitch as always - damn, nice lighting - THIS IS NOT BECAUSE I LIKE YOU B-BAKA - catra no - damn, she really just got incinerated right in front of the team, huh - had to let the sad end credits music play this time, alexa play despacito

ep10 - "yeah that sure smells like concrete" thanks scorpia - adora is SO excited that she can use magic - i had to look it up but yeah i can definitely hear the amethyst in catra's voice now - yeah entrapta didn't seem like she gave much of a shit in the first place - hell YEAH she just jumps out the window - it's pretty incredible that they haven't miscolored catra's eyes yet, at least that i saw - thank u for coming back to the original disagreement and hashing it out, hell yeah emotional intelligence - just tell ur mom, blease - when queen mom is holding glimmer as she glitches... wow that's very adult fear of you - why do they not animate the sword and backbacks whenever it pleases them? i can excuse magical sword bullshit but c'mon catra needs to eat - hell yeah trippy psychological horror episode PLEASE - catra no

ep11 - hell yeah time for the "save my archnemesis frenemy from being killed by nonsentient technology ostensibly on my side, only to receive zero gratitude and probable betrayal from said frenemy" episode - their interactions are SO good - keeping things close to your chest and not saying anything about entrapta, nice - blease i just want them to be frens again - BAPY CATRA YES - FLOFF - BLEASE - FRENS - tween catra is EXTRA FLOFF - really telling that all their good memories are of getting chased by superiors and fighting each other. fucking horde - teen lizard's hair is good - catra's pretty good at saving herself. can she do it in the way that matters, though? - part cat, part monkey - well then, this memory probably doesn't end happily - oh, maybe this'll give adora hints on how to heal glimmer - fucking shadow... slipper. fuck u - jesus christ well this is just the writing on the wall for why catra can hate adora so easily. fuck u shadow sneak - bapy.... she hiss - w o w

ep12 - creepy. yes. i have been called this before. i n c r e d i b l e - hell yeah aliens - oh my god it speaks - man, what is EVEN scorpia's deal besides comic relief... horde is real bad at cultivating friendship - hack the p l a n e t - god damn, speaker baby imp is creepy. also how did catra not hear/smell that, maybe all horde shit smells similar - so entrapta doesn't have her corresponding gemstone? also oooooh, that's what the moonstone is. - adora, you made a self-cognizant horse, look at it now, it's got self-assurance and helpful words that also perpetuate the message that all domestic or captive animals are suffering, but in a joking manner

ep13 - ok, last ep of season 1, oh boy. can't wait to read all the post s1 fanfic - how did they... switch seating order... c'momn dreamworks - so why is entrapta a princess if she doesn't have a gemstone - WHY is beau still baring his midriff? in armor??? - wait so you can stand on water now? - stop monologueing holy shit - i guess there just isn't water? - k, deus ex machina and big damn heroes, i guess - nice combo attacks - she ra said gay rights. happy wrath month everyone - catra.......... no

Hey I’ve got a question.

So I know this guy who’s two years older than me and he was a family-friend. Then we went to the same school when we were young. We got teased for “being in love” because of knowing each other and being the same height. Wtf but okay. That ruined two years of my life actually, the two years we were in school together. We saw each other a lot outside school and shit so we sometimes talked by ourselves because no one else was there and would have no idea what we were talking about, but then I remembered the world is full of idiots and if I wanted to be, well, just not ridiculed then I had to stop talking to him, stop looking at him, and pretty much hate him. And so I did. He was also the most popular kid at school which meant I didn’t have any friends, but to stop denying the accusations and talk to him and be friends meant they would be mean to me too. I can’t say that I was bullied as bad as some kids. In fact, I’m crazy lucky to have gone to a school that was okay and with limited kids, and my parents are great, but there were still some..... bad times.... for me anyway. I had depression, and I didn’t just get it. I’m pretty sure it started when I was in second grade. There was a kid that I knew and we were friends, but no one liked him. I stayed his friend and because I still believed in happy endings and princesses and fairytales, I thought all those jerks who had bullied me since kindergarten would soon realize it was cool of me to do that. They didn’t. But I stayed his friend anyways. I was a veeerryyy innocent kid, but there were many bad influences. That boys was actually the best one I had had, but I never told him because I hated him. He showed me the world wasn’t happy endings and princess stories weren’t real, and that started the snowball of depression I have.   So uh, time passes. That boy and I fought for years, with me supported by my bullies because they hated him for his looks. I never realized how wrong I was, I was such an idiot. Suddenly, my bullies became my friends, and I got to sit on the swings ( a high place of honor) with the cool older girls. Another girl always walked by the swings sadly walking by herself. I knew she didn’t have any friends. She never had, I had known her since kindergarten. I decided to try just once more on a fairy tale. I left my swing and joined the girl in her walk and we became friends. I had one other friend but she was only my friend at that time because she was my only classmate, and we became a trio. All the older girls hated us, but not out of jealousy. They laughed at us, taunted us, called us rude names. I went over to my new friends house, now though we had been friends for a while. I knew she lied a lot, praised herself, dejected herself, threatened, and she blamed her parents for every thing, or her brother, who actually has and had a MUCH worse deal. She wasn’t something I couldn’t handle, but. She still was very toxic. The threats weren’t bad and she didn’t abuse herself or anything. Just her viewpoint on the world was  awful. So I wa sat her house and she introduced me to something, and I didn’t say no because I was still innocent, but I realize now what’s happening. She told me not to tell anyone she watched that on her phone, and I thought it was just slightly bad because I thought everyone knew they were supposed to listen to their parents to the letter. Fast forward a bit. I realized how controlling and mean she was, so I left her and my other friend followed. Now I just had her and I was still being teased by the mean girls. Wooo hhooo summer! Finally, fifth grade. Yep, that was three years. It turned out life was looking great! I found out that the boy I hated was leaving (im as but it felt like a god given blessing), the girls that teased me were leaving, and that nice kid I met that summer through my dad was coming to school. It all seemed fun. And it was okay. But that’s why different teasing started. I started to feel insecure, lash out a lot, and hold a general anger and resentment to the world. The worst part is, I never told anyone. I still haven’t told the full story to anyone, but the cats out of the bag. I just need to say these things. Back to the story, I had one friend whom I lashed out at and lost, I hated it when people told me I was wrong, and pretended I knew everything, because I never wanted to feel like I didn’t understand. Not understanding had gotten me into much too much trouble already. The only thing stable were my grades. As -As +Bs and one +C which I worked hard on and got into an A. It was one of the two only  things I had pride in, and no hate. The second being spending time with little kids and photography. I loved taking photos and I loved to talk to kids and play with them,  because they were innocent and I wanted to do everything in my power to keep it that way. Or at least to make their short time better. So, in summary, I had no friends, I was known as an idoit who was in love with the most popular kid in school, and I was very angry. Multiply that by 2 years and that was my 5 and 6th grade. I also want to add that, even though I did hate him, that one guy was still really nice and we did hang out after school sometimes because of our parents and so I wasn’t so angry then. It felt nice.Next was seventh, which was the day I had marked on my calander since day two of fifth grade. The toxic girl was there, but the boys were gone and every single one of my bullies were gone as well. I was excited. I had a good year. I learned to control my emotions. I made a friend, though it was technically  my cousin and she didn’t go to my private school. She was awesome, but i has always felt beneath her. We now had private jokes and we had pretty much grown up together, but, lik I said, beneath her.  I was okay. Did I mention I did sport as much as I could? It took my mind off school, but I wasn’t ever very good. That year was our first coed basketball season, and I was one of the more important players. The girls team had always been short players, so by then I had already been a starter for four years. Woo. I also started to play tennis, which, because I had a new best friend, was very fun. She taught me how. (Before I say this next part, I want to say that my cousin was helping me because she thought I did want to date the guy, because I hadn’t told her straight out I didn’t (I still didn’t) but I ha stole her everything else) so the popular boy plays tennis. It’s his favorite sport, and this was his first year of high school, so we played in separate parts of the court. Thank goodness because the one time we did a drill together, I mean the two teams, we picked up the tennis balls that we on the same court (god forbid!). My cousin teased relentlessly that we were such a “cute couple” and all that junk. Idk what happened for they guy but I was peeved and no one ever stopped talking about it. Okay, back to school. I do school great. Good grades, people don’t hate me anymore. I don’t hate the whole world anymore and I finally feel free! It was fun for the most part. It was that year also that I picked up art. I taught myself to draw and came up with my own style. It is an amazing way to channel emotion. Just don’t let it all out at once. If you do, then draw something fun afterward, otherwise it will depress you. (Something I forgot to mention, I cried a lot at home at night and most the time my only consolace was that everyone did, I didn’t know no one at my school did. I also thought maybe the boy did too if no one else did, because we were also teased for being practically the same person. We both had two younger siblings. We were the tallest. Our initials were the same. We had most the same reactions to situations. The only real difference was his home invironment and he was slightly older. I didn’t realize how much of a difference there was between 6th and8th grade.) Okay, so roll into summer. It was fun, there was the fair, I went with friends, cause I had them. Woo! I also had many spider related incidents which made my arachnophobia form slightly. Then I had a dream. It was normal,( the ones where it puts ur friend and you in a n awkward situation so you can’t face them for weeks) until I saw a spider in the corner of my dream. The grew, and grew, and my “dream camera” zoomed in on its face. Then on the dead bug’s face, then As it was being eaten. I screamed I my sleep and woke up to the feeling of spiders. Everywhere. They were on my arms, my legs, my blanket, my walls, my pillow, right behind the door of my room. I ran out it and kept my eyes open as to not step on one or run into a massive one. I tried to run to my parents room so they could help me with it some how, but the room between us had so many places for spiders to hide. Then, they were everywhere on the floor. They tried to crawl up my legs. I jumped up and down screaming with my mouth closed so no spider would get in. They were everywhere. They were everywhere. They were everywhere. Eventually my mom and dad ran out of their room hearing me stomp and squeal. They saw me bouncing on the tips on my toes, trying not to die. From nothing. I was having a mental breakdown. They had to almost restrain me. Dad carried me and mom held me still. I still squealed and kicked,  not because of my mom and dad. I was aware they were trying to help, but I still thought the spiders were on me. Everywhere. They laid  me down on their bed, turned on the light, and held my arms down. They covered my lower body with a blanket and sat on that too, so I coulf barley move. I started to cry and squeal. Mom and dad tried to calm me down but I wouldn’t open my mouth. I would only gesture wordlessly at the wall where I thought there was a huge spider. They looked. The wall was blank. They told me they would protect me. I believed them. I didn’t sleep the rest of the night and my mom and dad stayed up with me they turned on the movie boss babie because I was sure it would be the only movie without something that would remind me of .... the things. I didn’t go outside for a month after that. It took me 20 minutes every night of the summer to assure myself there were no spiders on my pillow. Most times I couldn’t even imagine going to school again, going outside, seeing friends, being away from mom and dad, being happy. By the last two weeks of summer, I had my confidence “peaked” for eighth grade. I was ready. Three weeks later I almost missed school because I had a dream of “those things”. I went to school in my hoodie and would always glacé over my shoulder to check for “them”. I’m still in eighth grade right now, but a bit farther into the year. I’m completely over it. I won’t like pick up a spider, but I hadn’t had another dream like that in a while. It was around this point I realized I had depression. I didn’t have it “licenced” as I said but knew by the ways and times I would feel completely hopeless and come running to my parents becausw I  was shaking and felt like I just “ couldn’t do it”. It was at that time I realized my faith. I realized how important these things could be, and what things actually were. I took a catechism class and became a Lutheran, believing in the god and the savior he sent, his son.  Basically, I found out that, though those inspiring posts on tumblr are very positive and help, most times they are wrong. The truth is even greater. It made so much more sense now. The world was perfect, until a bengal ever ridden angel decided to make the world imperfect and ruin god’s favorite part. The people. There were two. Adam and Eve. God loved them. The angel, aka the devil, took the form of a snake and told Eve that she could be like God, knowing good and evil, if she ate from the only tree god told them not to eat. Eve took the fruit and ate it, and that was the first sin. She gave it to her husband. Blah bla, god promised a savior to make those sins “go away”. I put that in quotes because they don’t go away, God just can’t see them. Okay s9 more or less, the devil gave me depression and tries to make me come to hell by killing myself, feeling that no one can help me, feeling like I’m all alone, and temping me to feel guilty and sad and miserable, blurring the line between good and evil. Now that I know about god more, I trust. The shortest summary of the Bible isn’t one word: love. Love, trust and fear are what god wants from us, and we don’t deliver. That’s why we would go to hell, if we didn’r know the rest. The rest is that God loves me so much, he sacrificed himself so that I can live, even If I die. I mean I’ll live in heaven. All that I have to do is nothing. I can’t do anything to be saved. I’m going to hell. Nope! Because of the Holy Spirit, you can do more than nothing! You can actually obey what god says now. You’ll still be depressed, you’ll still be sad, your world won’t be perfect,  but as long as you trust god, “ all sorrow will be wiped away” - Isaiah.  In heaven that is. So I trusted god and I didn’t have any doubts and sadness again right? Wrong! I got sad, I got scared, but the only reason I’m still here is because I know God knows when I’ll get to see him. I wouldn’t be here if he didn’t want me to be. I do have a purpose even if I never realize what it is.  God made me to be exactly the way I am because he knew I could take the challenge and that the challenge would make me stronger in him.  Thanks god. So anyway, did I mention that I got “licenced” depression this year too? That was rough. I got a 12/6 so not good.  But I’ve learned. I’m positive. I’m happy. I help others. If you need anything, I’ll try my best. That’s what I’ll do. I’ll keep trying. I also started to write. I had the idea of being an animator, or a cartoonist. I just loved art and storytelling. Photography and kids still hold a place in my heart, but I’m still young. I vollunteer. I get good grades. I still play basketball. And I learned how that boy was able to stay so positive and not get angry when people “shipped us”. I’m okay now. Also, about the boy. That brings me to my question along with this insanely long story of my life. I see him sometimes. He’s a sophomore in high school not, but I met up with him like three months ago. (Did I mention that every time I saw him after he graduated I couldn’t stop thinking about it for days?) it was a family thing again. It was bowling. First, we both suck at the game and both cheered each other to get the new lowest scores possible. Then, I asked if he had any favorite shows, and it turns out, he was a diehard fanboy for my favorite show, Miraculous.(you don’t have to know what it is to answer tho) We has so much fun and I didn’t want to leave, but then we had to go home. He said “ Well, I am walking over to DG (store) to buy (something). Do u wanna come? We can keep talking.” And even though I hadn’t gone a walk with him in so long and never gone on a walk with him without dying of embarrassment afterward and even though I really wanted to, idk why still,  it my mouth said no. I still don’t know why, but I have a feeling god didn’t want me to go. I hope I find out soon, and I do think I like him. Which I almost hate, but it downst make me sad anymore. I just want to hang out sometime. So even though I beg for a sign for us to hang out more, I haven’t gotten one yet. My question is:

What do I do next?

Seriously. I’ve nevr dated. My schools been open since the 80′ and no ones ever dated. I mean there has been two weddings and one divorce (don’t ask). Also, I need help, not just with that last part. I’m just kind of stuck and need advice about High School because I’ve only ever one to one school. Plays again (help) I need to decide whether to dedicate my life to basket ball or things other than basketball. Hope this didn’t upset you or anything. Plz read if you want to it’s my life story. At least important points to me. Lov y’all. Stay pawsome

( btw also my friend cousin is my bff and we both told each other about my depression and her anxiety so we try to lift each other up if anyone wanted a redemption arc for her)