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thorinsbestie · 3 years

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First time writing in english, is still hard for me to make paragraphs have sense, sorry :'3

War and Victory

Five months stood in the past since (y/n) magically appeared in front of everyone's eyes thanks to a mischief of Gandalf, after that she had been reluctantly accepted into Thorin's Company. Her relationship with the dwarves at first was not the best, however with the passing of days it improved little by little; now everyone treated her as if she were an old friend of theirs.

(Y/n) was lively, although most of her scandal and shamelessness led her to be the victim of the constant scolding that Thorin dedicated to his nephews. The three of them were somewhat common personalities, after a week or two the Li brothers and (y/n) had easily turned to nail and grime. It was no wonder why they had become best friends so quickly, both princes adored her, especially since (y/n) used to cunningly challenge their uncle, defying his words with a playfulness that drove the poor dwarf king mad and ended him musing incomprehensible words in khuzdul.

Today everyone had stopped in a town of men to reload ammunition of food and medicinal herbs. Being so late Thorin had agreed to stay in a tavern, the dwarves would share two rooms and the last one was left free for Bilbo, Gandalf and the human; luckily for (y/n) the hobbit was downstairs with the rest of the Company enjoying their free time. (Y/n) needed to talk with the Istari about a painful subject that she had been hiding in the depths of her soul since her arrival in Middle Earth.

As they approached the Lonely Mountain her heart stumbled more full of regret while remembering the tragic losses that all would suffer in the future.

"Gandalf, it's time for us to talk," she began, turning her cheerful face off with a pained expression, "you told me in the beginning that it was you who brought me here. You revealed to me that you were aware of everything I know about the future of Durin's sons and you asked me to keep the secret until I understood the purpose of my visit" the wizard looked towards the wood of the floor instead of her pleading eyes "I ... I think or rather I feel that from the first moment I came I knew what my role was. Five months have passed and my suspicions about this purpose it's now confirmed ... and I... I have made a mistake" she swallowed "a feeling that I already brought with me from my world was reinforced, I feel so desperate to prevent them from dying that…"

"Do you think it is correct to change the flow of events?" the wizard interrupted.

"I believe… is no longer important if this is correct or not. I adore Fili and Kili, and I love Thorin. I have been in love with him since I read his story in my world!"

"And do you love him enough to lay down your life for him?" he asked sternly. Gandalf's pale eyes piercing her soul. "You must think wisely about what you want to do, young lady. Yes, it is true that I have brought you to be the one who is choosing the destiny of Durin, and I know this is a difficult decision. But why would you lay down your life for someone whose feelings are not mutual?" his words were a hard blow to (y/n), but she remained firm "what will you gain by saving them? If Thorin lives he will be king of a kingdom of dwarves, do you think there will be an opportunity for you if you survive as well? Do not judge me as cruel, I just want to open your blind eyes from an illusion whose expectatives of being fulfilled are almost nil. If Thorin becomes king he must marry a dwarrowdam, a lady of noble birth; diplomacy does not allow a human to sit on the queen's throne or let an hybrid inherit the crown" his face became sympathetic, almost paternal "think, dear (y/n), you love Thorin however you don't need to risk your life for your feelings to be returned".

By now with such crude words spilled out from Gandalf's mouth, (y/n) was already biting the inside of her cheek as helding the fat tears that yearned to fall from her eyes.

"I don't care about my feelings! If he lives, I'll go happily into the arms of death!" she exclaimed with a broken voice, "he has been one of my greatest wishes! I am willing to fulfill it at all cost!"

The dwarves found themselves drinking huge mugs of ale that accompanied the stories and jokes that were told. The atmosphere down there was happy, even Thorin kept a tiny curve in his lips that, unfortunately, fell as soon as his eyes were fixed on the person who was coming down the distant stairs in a hurry. The dwarf King distinguished crystal drops sliding in her face. She was crying. Why was she crying? Why was her vivacity reduced to ashes? At no time in the five months that they had been sharing Thorin had seen her discouraged like that.

Without even thinking about it Thorin apologized and got up following (y/n), who had left the tavern. He didn't just go with her out of curiosity, night was falling, it was dangerous for her to be defenseless outside but he would never admit it out loud, not yet at least.

Thorin found her curled up in the barn where the ponies rested, her arms hugging her legs that kept her face hidden. He approached carefully as she quietly sobbed. Was a matter of time when Thorin felt his throat go dry as he discovered how much he hated seeing her so blue.

"(Y/n)...? " he called soft.

When he didn't obtain an answer, he preferred to take a seat next to her. Thorin gently dropped his hand on her back for support. There he stood by his side, feeling unable to formulate a word as he heard the heartbroken whimpers that made him wonder what was the reason for such sadness. And finally, after half an hour she calmed down, straightened her back and proceeded to lean against the wall of wood; her expressionless face was soaked, eyelids as reddish as her nose, yet the pained glow reflected from her orbs was the last straw for Thorin's patience.

"Who made you cry?" he asked demandly.

"Myself," (y/n) said in a whisper "Thorin, please answer this with honesty. If you were aware that your life is shortened with each step taken ... and if you have in your hands the possibility of preventing it, would you do it? Would you try to save yourself?"

What kind of question was that?

Upon analyzing his words, Thorin was clearly desconcert.

"What are you talking about (y/n)? Is your life in danger?"

"Answer my question, please" she turned her face bathed in anxiety, "would you save yourself even if it means paying with what you love the most?"

"I wouldn't, living without what I love the most would be a punishment worse than death. Tell me now, what is wrong with you? Are you ill? Should I call Óin?"

(Y/n) smiled without grace, but such action was interpreted by the dwarf as the synonym of a goodbye. A bad feeling took hold of his stomach that churned at the simple idea of losing her, because Mahal, it was clear than water how much Thorin appreciated her. She was his One! His true love, and if she had fallen from another world right into his arms it was because she was predestined for no one but him; she was his by right.

"Since the first time I met you in my world you became my greatest admiration, Thorin, and for that reason I would follow you further to Mandos' halls"

"Don't say that, (y/n), I haven't …"

"I'm sorry" she interrupted getting up and wiping another fallen tear, "keep in mind that no matter how difficult the circumstances are, I will be by your side until ... until my visit to these lands is over, I promise you."

Her words were never erased from Thorin's memory.

On Raven Hill there was no noise except for the cries of a King crying disconsolately the name of his One. She was slowly perishing in his arms. The dwarf did not cry easily since his heart was made of stone, however his hardness was cracking, cracking to release the unbearable pain that he suffered when he saw that life abandoning the human's eyes.

Why? he wondered, why had she taken her place? Why had she given her life in exchange for his?

Minutes before this heartbreaking scene, a battle had unfolded between Thorin Oakenshield and Azog the defiler. The King had no other thought than defeating the orc. At no time crossed through his mind the thought of (t/n) leaving the throne room where he had demanded her to wait for his return until the war was over. Thorin thought she had listened to him, but now the misfortune of her disobedience was manifested by a reddish thread of blood that trickled from between her lips and ran down her chin, staining her shirt more than it had already caused the deep wound on her abdomen.

"Thorin ... don't cry ..." she spoke in low whispers.

"Why have you broken your word? I asked you to stay on the throne where you'd have been protected, why have you taken death for me?! You shouldn't have ...!" Thorin broke into sobs, "you can't abandon me, don't do it, I implore you to stay with me"

"Don't you remember what I told you? I would go by your side further to Mandos' halls. I have come to Middle Earth with a purpose that I have already fulfilled, my visit is over" she smiled weakly. "I knew your destiny. Many times I begged in my world for being able to change it and give you the happiness of enjoying your effort to recover Erebor. My wish was listened, and…. " a fit of coughing interrupted her. Each second passed her voice was hard to hear" I will leave happy knowing that you can be King, Thorin…"

The dwarf never imagined that she would actually follow him to Raven Hill, that (y/n) would wait hidden in the mist and debris to impose her goal. He didn't see her coming when she leapt to get between the sharp edge that was pointing against his torso. He even had a chance to push her away from him.

"How could you be so cruel to yourself? You didn't owe me anything! Then why did you give your life for me ?! Why did you do it ?!"

"Because ..." her eyes narrowed, already becoming opaque, "I have admired you since I read your noble feat in a book, because I fell in love as an innocent little girl night after night, the naive illusions of meeting my hero one day in person were just lovely…." she was about to die "because I grew up adoring you and… I have loved you since the first moment I met you… Tho… rin… " her voice finally trailed off.

Her eyes finally got closed. She did not speak any more.

" (Y/n) ....? (Y/n) wake up, please open your eyes givashel, wake up, open your eyes!" cried the king in despair "please come back to me! You cannot abandon me!"

The cries returned, Thorin clung to the human's body as if he wished with all his soul to become one with her. His tears fell without frenzy, drenching the face that would have loved with such devotion if fate had not unjustly taken her away from his embrace. At that moment Thorin felt alone again as when he lost his father and grandfather during the Battle of Azanulbizar. This time Fili, Kili and (y/n) joined the memories that only came to life in his head; the three partners in shenanigans slipped from his hands like souls he could never caress or see.

In war there is no victory when lives as loved as those of your family have been lost.

#thorin x you #Thorin #hobbit #thorin x reader #Sad #Death #hobbit fandom #hobbit x reader

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deepestprincesselvenpups · 5 years

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Memories of a lifetime

Right my darlings @theincaprincess here I heard this song and fell in love with it right away, while my mind screamed at me to get this into a fic, I wrote it out and sent it to @deepestfirefun as it was missing something, she has filled in the missing parts so we hope you enjoy this one.

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Listen to the song here

Lyrics in bold and italics

Word Count 1088

Pairing: Thorin x Bilbo ( Bagginshield )

Warning: grief, feels

Masterlist

"Listen, everyone, The time will come when all of us say goodbye, Feel that aching in your heart, Leaving you broken inside, But we're never really gone, As long as there's a memory in your mind"

Staring blankly down at Thorin as the dwarf Bilbo had learned to love, Bilbo felt like his heart had just shattered into a million pieces, his throat was getting tighter and it felt he couldn´t breathe anymore as he was forced to watch how the light drained from Thorin's bright, bluest eyes Bilbo had ever laid his eyes on, looking at his chest it no longer rose as the last breath left his lifeless body, Thorin´s strong heart didn´t beat anymore. The king under the mountain was dead, but Bilbo refused to let go of his hand, even after Gandalf came up to him and told to let go, it took Dwalin to physically pull the hobbit away as the halfling was almost screaming while the tears were streaming from his cheeks. Bilbo didn´t want to leave his companion, his friend….his love behind.

"So now go do the best things in life, Take a bite of this world while you can, Make the most of the rest of your life, Make a ride of this world while you can"

Standing next to Gandalf during Thorin's funeral Bilbo cried and cried, walking around them Bilbo stopped at Thorin´s side and lifting his hand stroked Thorin's hair and whispered loving words into his ear, knowing that he would never hear them, and never again Bilbo would hear Thorin's voice soothing his nerves lulling him to sleep at nights. Leaving Erebor with Gandalf to return to the Shire was the hardest thing he had ever done in his life and Bilbo was quiet, he was too lost in his own grief, and things didn't get any better when he got back home, with the auction of his things at Bag End leaving him utterly shocked.

"Take the ones you love, And hold them close because there is little time, And don't let it break your heart, I know it feels hopeless sometimes, But they're never really gone, As long as there's a memory in your mind"

Every room of Bag End made him remember Thorin, no matter where he looked, the chair, the fireplace, the hallway…Thorin´s smiling image kept appearing in front of him making Bilbo wanting to yell his ache for the dwarf king out loud. Taking out the second oak tree seed he picked up in Beorn's garden from his jacket pocket, Bilbo went into his garden and planted it to be a reminder that he did indeed make it home, but lost a lot more. For a long time he just sat there staring ahead while the gentle wind caressed his curly hair, it was almost as if Thorin was trying to comfort him and finally, Bilbo broke down crying his loss at his garden as the sun slowly started to set coloring the sky bright red.

"So now go do the best things in life, Take a bite of this world while you can, Make the most of the rest of your life, Make a ride of this world while you can"

*60 years later*

Watching Frodo and Sam getting Bag End ready for his upcoming birthday party, Bilbo passed his writing table where he had hung the map of the lonely mountain, feeling all the heartbreak and memories came flooding back to him as his eyes wandered over the paper, he picked up a red notebook and placed it on the table and began to write the events of his heartbreaking tale down time to time glancing up trying to find the right words.

"And hold on to memories, Hold on to every moment, To keep them alive, The world's greatest tragedy, Souls who are not remembered, Cannot survive"

Every day Bilbo would write, and the memories started to come back, some made him laugh and some made him cry, the worst was the nights being alone in his bed, thinking about Thorin and how happy they could have been. Tossing and turning in his bed Bilbo would finally give up trying to get some sleep and went outside smoking his pipe and letting his mind go back to Erebor and to that time when everything was still fine before they reached the Lonely Mountain before and everything started to go wrong.

"So now go do the best things in life, Bring the fight to this world while you can, Make the most of the rest of your life, Shine your light on this world while you can"

Watching many of the hobbits getting married and having children Bilbo started to lock himself away as he felt the sting of envy in his heart but still, he had his nephew Frodo to look after, but the happiness of others started to make him very sad and little grumpy, grief was worming its way back to his heart and sending Frodo to collect something for him, Bilbo picked up his pipe and tobacco and went outside.

"And hold on to memories, Hold on to every moment, To keep them alive, The world's greatest tragedy, Souls who are not remembered, Cannot survive"

Sitting in his garden under the oak tree, Bilbo lit his pipe and looked up at the clouds, making patterns with them, one of the lonely mountain, one of Smaug, one of Thorin, feeling a tear slide down his face. He had hoped that in time, the longing and the grief would have eased some but it had done just the opposite and Bilbo sometimes had a hard time to cope.

"Aye laddie, his loss still hurts me" jumping at the voice Bilbo turned to see Balin standing there with Gandalf both had sad smiles on their faces. Standing up Bilbo wiped his eyes and opened the gate welcoming his old friends back to his home.

"Where are my manners? Come in you two would you like a cup of tea?" Getting nods from the old Dwarf and wizard, closing the gate Bilbo pointed for them to enter Bag End as he followed silently behind locking the sorrow in his heart not letting it show too much but it would stay there until he would see Thorin again.

"And hold on to memories (Hold on), Hold on to every moment, To keep them alive (Keep them alive), The world's greatest tragedy (Hold on), Souls who are not remembered, Cannot survive"

#Memories of a lifetime #Disturbed #Disturbe hold on to memories #Theincaprincess #Deepestfirefun #Deepestprincess #bagginshield

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