Overload - Chapter 3
Pairing: Kimi Raikkonen/Sebastian Vettel
Characters: Kimi Raikkonen, Sebastian Vettel, Oscar Piastri, Mark Webber
Rating: Gen
Tags: Fluff, Ableism, Neurodiversity, Negative self-image, protective grid dads Simi, Italian food, Mark Webber Cameo.
Summary: Kimi spots Oscar at media pen.
THE KIDS AREN’T ALRIGHT
Kimi was sulking. Against the common belief, this wasn’t his normal face, thank you very much. Sebastian took pride in being able to tell actual discomfort and just a resting bitch face apart on his partner’s face and he was definitely sulking. Maybe visiting the paddock in Imola because they were already in the neighbourhood wasn’t a good idea. He couldn’t tell because Kimi seemed eager to say hi to their old friends and Sebastian didn’t think twice.
After a couple of hours at Ferrari hospitality, he felt like he totally lost Kimi, who stopped interacting with anyone, including Sebastian after the paddock tour. Sebastian tried to trace back and see what went wrong. They visited almost all garages, shook hands, or nodded to people they knew and gave out a couple of autographs. It was frustrating to not be able to pinpoint what went wrong.
“Kimi, are you okay?”
Kimi hummed nonchalantly in response.
“Kimi, what’s wrong?”
Sebastian knew Kimi hated when someone tried to insist an answer out of him but he was also getting anxious. He wanted to at least know what was wrong before he started biting on his nails.
“It’s nothing.”
“Kimi…”
Kimi sighed and folded his arms.
“It’s just frustrating what they did with the kid.”
“What kid?”
Sebastian was confused.
“The new Mclaren kid.”
“Oscar? What’s wrong with him?”
Kimi grunted, this time a tad aggressively but Sebastian was too intrigued to notice. He deliberately paused to prompt a response out of Kimi.
“Journalists were so frustrating with him. He obviously didn’t want to be there.”
Sebastian reflected on their short moment in the Mclaren garage. They didn’t stay long because the drivers were at the media pen but Kimi seemed to have paid more attention than Sebastian did.
“He is a bit the quiet one, yes.”
“Did you talk to Mark recently?”
“No, do you want me to?”
Kimi shrugged. Sebastian didn’t interact with Mark often. However, a plan was already forming in his head while he watched Kimi.
“We can invite the kid for a lunch? After all, it’s only Thursday, he should be free.”
Kimi shrugged again. He might not have been the most affectionate or communicative towards the young drivers but when he formed a bond with one of them, he would become the ride-and-die dad friend for them. Sebastian knew how fondly Kimi spoke about the young Tonio every now and then. They always received cards from him on holidays. It wouldn’t be the worst thing if he adopted another slightly misfit baby.
“I’ll text Mark.”
Kimi nodded. Sebastian was barely able to hide his grin. Kimi might have been stingy with his affection but when someone got his attention, it was over for everyone. Sebastian knew it first-hand.
—---------
They were eating in silence. Sebastian didn’t want to be the one who forced others to speak at a table but he was getting a bit impatient.
He exchanged a couple of texts with Mark before he forwarded Oscar’s number and the kid didn’t seem more talkative than the older Aussie. Sebastian didn’t mind. He was way past believing that talking too much to fill the space was a virtue.
He decided on an Italian restaurant. If Kimi saw more than discomfort in Oscar, Italian food would be the best option. Perfect for picky eaters.
When Oscar arrived and apologised for arriving after them, Sebastian could see what Kimi meant. He didn’t even once establish eye contact with either of them, much to Kimi’s pleasure. Sebastian, again, didn’t mind. Courtesy at a certain level was a social construct to make some people uncomfortable for no reason, after all.
They ordered together, and when Oscar ordered the blandest pasta possible, Sebastian felt like he was getting closer to the answer. It wasn’t polite to observe someone to establish whether they conform with the “normal” or not but Sebastian knew it would be better for the kid if they had an answer.
On the other hand, he was terrified of being overbearing. Oscar didn’t ask for any recognition or guidance and whatever they were about to say was going to be at best invasive. However, he also knew that he had to leave it to Kimi to handle this.
“They are very annoying, aren’t they?”
Sebastian was as startled as Oscar when he heard Kimi speak. Oscar looked like a deer caught in headlights, which filled Sebastian’s heart with fondness for a moment.
“Excuse me?”
“Journalists. Don’t worry, they are always like that.”
“Oh.”
Oscar was looking at his half-eaten plate. Sebastian knew he was trying to avoid furthering the conversation but he could also see that the kid was intrigued at the same time.
There was an uncomfortable pause.
“Did they annoy you, too?”
“All the time!”
Kimi leaned back and stretched. Sebastian knew better than to intervene.
“How did you cope?”
There was genuine curiosity in Oscar’s words, which relieved Sebastian a little. Kimi knew how to communicate without overstepping, perhaps better than Sebastian but it still impressed him.
“First, you got to stop worrying about what they think of you. If they want to label you, they will and it has nothing to do with you.”
Oscar nodded.
“Then, you’ll need to catch them in their own game. Make them feel uncomfortable as they make you.”
Oscar scoffed, which made Sebastian smile.
“How?”
“Well, now they are using your reserved look against you to make a story about you being silent. But if you learn to stop being uncomfortable with it, they will be uncomfortable instead.”
“Really?”
Oscar was looking directly at Kimi’s face instead of his general direction, which Sebastian counted as a win.
“Really. You don’t have to entertain them. You don’t have to entertain anyone. You just have to drive fast and then no one can touch you.”
Kimi’s words touched a raw spot in Sebastian’s heart. He knew this wasn’t only a dull lecture from the Fin. He knew it was his genuine thought process and how he handled things. The social part of Kimi’s career hasn’t been easy and Sebastian was feeling even prouder of him if a such thing was possible.
“I’m trying. I just…”
There was that prompting silence again.
“I’m just tired of what people are expecting from me, I guess. I am not Daniel Ricciardo and I am not sure if I could if I tried. I wish they just leave me alone.”
Sebastian felt immense sympathy for the kid. Somehow, Kimi managed to spot all of these from a couple of minutes in the kid’s presence without even talking to him. Sebastian couldn’t hold himself.
“What they are doing is not right, and they should be ashamed of that. You already have enough on your plate.”
Oscar turned his gaze back at the plate and Sebastian wondered if they scared the kid off without wanting to.
“I guess I’m a bit different than the others. Lando doesn’t struggle with that. Neither any other drivers.”
It was utterly heartbreaking to see Oscar doubting himself like this. Sebastian already hated the pressure institutions put on literal kids but seeing it in action stung worse.
“There is nothing wrong in being different.”
Sebastian was trying to be helpful but he felt so inadequate at that point. He wished Kimi intervened to save the situation but he was just listening intently.
“You say that, but I know there is. I wish I wasn’t like this.”
“Don’t ever say that again.”
They both stared at Kimi. He had a stern expression on his face, replacing the focused one. Sebastian could see Oscar was a little bit startled.
“Do you think it is a bad thing Lewis is on the grid? He has ADHD, you know? Or Kubica? It would be the most boring place if the grid was filled with identical white boys who smile and chatter all the time.”
Oscar looked unconvinced by Kimi’s words but he was too hesitant to openly disagree.
“I don’t say it makes you better. It doesn’t. It makes it harder but it doesn’t mean that you need to change to fit in. Or you shouldn’t be there at all. There is no rule that says that the ones like Lando are default. You are you, it isn’t a prize nor a crime.”
Sebastian knew Kimi rarely was this vocal. It was just so fascinating to hear his partner talk about something so close and important to him, to them, in their daily life. It wasn’t appealing to talk about it all the time but when it was, Sebastian had always been left amazed at how aware and proud Kimi was.
“I am not like Lewis or Kubica. They can talk to people and convince them to like them. I can’t. Everybody hates me, or like, is uncomfortable with me.”
Sebastian’s heart broke at Oscar’s words. He guessed that all these were getting to him but he wasn’t aware of the extent. He wanted to punch Mark for not assisting in the kid’s well-being or finding someone to do so. He knew it was so easy to doubt yourself in this sport but doubting this early with these conclusive negative aspects couldn’t be healthy.
“Oh really? Do you think everybody hates me too?”
Sebastian was almost relieved to hear the partial amusement in Kimi’s words.
“I didn’t… I didn’t mean that. No, of course not.”
Oscar was talking only to his plate at that point.
“I know you didn’t. But we are not that different. They will learn to back off and respect you. Because you will teach them.”
When Oscar looked up at Kimi, his eyes were glossy. If he didn’t know that it would do more harm than good, Sebastian would get up to hug the kid.
“Thank you. That really… really means a lot to me.”
Kimi raised his eyebrows.
“No problem kid.”
Sebastian rubbed his hands together. He felt like he couldn’t hope for a better outcome from this clumsy lunch idea.
“We should do this more often.”
And the synchronised eye roll from the two of them was everything to Sebastian.
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Truly love your love for Oscar because same, I feel like he's my son. Super weird. I love him in a non-romantic, non-sexual way, I'm just so fond of him and I want to protect him like a mother. Lol
In other news: yeah, sometimes people go overboard with comments. They stop being "Oh Oscar is not very outgoing", and become "He's not funny and they shouldn't have signed him because he's boring" which is ??? I understand that, in terms of charisma, it's difficult to fill Daniel's shoes, but I don't understand why speak ill of Oscar
I just hope that journalists don't get swayed by this and start treating Oscar the way they treated Kimi in later years: they used to ask him questions that they knew Kimi would either not answer or would hate because Kimi's reaction was the punchline
-🌻
🌻, dear, did I ever mention that I love your takes so much?
I'm so fond of him, too, but I don't discriminate him from my other twinks, different to you.
It's so funny that they just try to replace Daniel with Daniel jr because Oscar is also Australian? It's terrible. Like, I wonder if they applied the same pressure on Mark because god, that man is also boring (derogatory) like Oscar is boring (affectionate).
And even the funniest part! They blame the F1 female fanbase because "they treat drivers like celebrities, not sportspeople" but like, if you are going to go full professional, then leave the drivers' personality alone??!!
Kimi was chronically uncomfortable with media too, and I think he handled it well with punchlines but like, people were still extremely disrespectful and invasive. And I think Oscar doesn't owe them clever punchlines because he has the right to like, not interact when he doesn't want to!!
This is very closely related to my neurodivergent and ableism rhetoric. I don't know and don't really care if either Kimi or Oscar is neurodivergent but the treatment they receive is very similar to the ableist treatment neurodivergent people receive irl for not interacting with neurotypicals in the way they want you to.
Sorry, I vented a little but this is very close to home!
Thanks so much for this ask!
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