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#once he sees tony dying in endgame and wakes up and runs straight into avenger's tower
ofmorninglory · 5 years
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I can’t, apparently, get @teatitty‘s halbarry headcanon about how, after the events of Flashpoint, Barry will get confused as to which reality he is currently in because the images, situations and memories all clutter around in his head, out of my head, and here is me getting my grubby hands all up in this headcanon and turning it into Room Enough AU because I suck: 
General premise is the same: Barry gets the multiverse all mixed up. It’s a side-effect of being so closely related to the speed-force, time and space itself. Flashpoint happened in this universe, as well, except it happened when Barry was younger, probably more inexperienced, and he knows there are things just slightly off about this new, rebooted universe. At first, he thinks he is able to recognize the changes, but after some time, he’ll stop recognizing what’s real and what’s not (for him, at least). 
It starts small, probably. Like maybe Hal’s birthday is different this time, but only by a couple of days, and Barry probably got him his gift a little earlier or a little later. Hal brushes it off like its no big deal, but Barry worries, because he had been so sure about it, so why did he get it wrong? He’s never gotten Hal’s birthday wrong ever since they met. 
He starts making mistakes like this now. They’re mostly inconsequential, but Barry knows in his heart that the information stored in his brain is supposed to be there for a reason, except when he asks Hal or the others about it, he’s wrong about the dumbest things. He confides in his best friend, of course, tells Hal everything about the Flashpoint, about how time changed, how he’s not sure how deep these changes ran, but about how messy it gets in his head. How loud some memories are. Wrong memories, too, he’s sure Oliver and Dinah haven’t gotten married, even though he distinctly remembers wedding bands on their fingers. 
Hal starts narrating things for him. Starts setting situations and events right. Barry listens to him, with a warm cup of tea clutched in his hands, bags under his eyes--he hasn’t been sleeping very well; some nights the memories just won’t stop clamoring around in his headspace. Jordan doesn’t even tell him how weird it is that Barry’s asking him to recount everything that has happened in the JL and the world in general. He won’t even question why Barry will call him, scared and wild, at three in the morning begging to know if Green Lantern is alright--is he’s alive and well. 
Some days are tougher. Barry starts getting flashes from other universes now, and not necessarily the one before Flashpoint. These other universes will fight for his attention, images of things that could’ve happened or will happen or might happen or will never happen or are happening somewhere else, and Barry feels like he’s going to go crazy with how much noise there in his brain. 
In this universe, a lot of things after the Battle of New York don’t happen. There’s no Ultron, no Civil War--not anything after that. There are some things, that Barry recognizes, and he’ll panic because he knows how those storylines go, but then things take a different turn and the Flash feels like he can breathe again. He’ll always ask Hal if Steve and Tony are on good terms. Even as they grow older and older and Earth is not in danger so much, Hal sometimes must remind him that Steve and Tony are, in fact, very much married. 
When the fake-memories leave him, Barry is happy. He’s happy his universe is different. It makes him feel guilty, but he’s glad he’s not stuck in his self’s place in Civil War (where he remembers running Tony back from Siberia, arc-reactor broken in his chest, as Iron Man’s life slowly slipped away because in this stupid universe Tony didn’t get the arc-reactor removed and Steve broke it, so Barry has to run, run, run, and save Tony’s life again like he did once upon a time when he first met the engineer) or watching helplessly as Clint returns from the time-heist without Natasha (Natasha, who Barry has to reassure himself is still there, and who he’ll go visit at the Barton-Romanoff home whenever he misses her; he’ll sink into her arms and let her hum soft tunes in his ears, like he’s some kind of child and Nat’s his mother; Clint won’t even question it, Clint has cuddled Barry more times than he can remember by now--some are his own memories, some are memories from another Barry Allen).  
There are some kinder universes as well. Universes that Barry treasures even when he knows they only get him confused. There are places where none of them have been touched by tragedy. Where Hal gets to see the stars without the ring and without all the emotional turmoil he’s had to go through; where Tony doesn’t have a high-tech device stuck in his chest, but where he’s still the smartest man Barry knows; where Iris, beautiful, wonderful Iris, is happy, successful and very much in love (sometimes with him, sometimes with others, but they’re always friends, and Barry loves that); where Steve isn’t a man displaced from time and Barry and he actually get along without people shooting bullets at them. Barry has learnt some of these universes by heart with how often they pop up in his head. 
It’s exhausting. Whether the universes are good or bad, it’s exhausting to try to keep up with everything, so on the days where he is feeling particulaly tired, he’ll curl into bed with Hal and not even say a word. He doesn’t ask if Steve and Tony are okay, he doesn’t ask if Natasha is alive, he doesn’t ask who Batman is (which Wanye, that’s always important, Barry thinks)--he won’t even inquiry as to in which part of their relationship Hal and Barry are anymore (he knows they have one, that he’s always sure of, sometimes he just won’t remember in which stage they’re in). 
Hal will hold him. Somedays they’ll watch a movie. Somedays they’ll call some of their friends over and Barry will have something to reach out for, calm in the security of his and Hal’s home, and the soft reminders of the important events of his timeline. Like Tony’s perfectly functional arc-reactor, like Clark’s kind smile and the wedding ring he wears in his left hand, like Hal’s hand in his own. 
He makes do with what he’s got, even when some days it’s even hard for him, the fastest man alive, to catch up. 
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buckysmischief · 4 years
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Spaces Between - 1/?
Pairing: Loki x Reader
Word Count: 1.5k
Summary: The Snap took everything from you, who knew Loki would be the one to put back all your pieces?
Warnings: thanos doesn’t kill loki, everything else is cannon with IW & Endgame (im sorry), language, fluff, angst
AN: Tessa is an oc, readers best friend
FTS Masterlist | Series Masterlist
☄︎
Spring 2018, 5 minutes later
“Yn, wake the fuck up!” Tessa panicked, pouring cold water on your face. You sat straight up, wishing she’d have just slapped you instead.
“How many times have I asked you not to do that?” you grumble, wiping the water off your face. “How long was I out this time?”
“About five minutes, where did you go?”
You passed out for two minutes the first time you teleported from your apartment to California, but once you got used to traveling greater distances your body got used to it. Space though? It was surprising you woke up before the day was over.
“Uh.. I’m not exactly sure. Loki got me there, I just brought us back. Oh shit! Thor and Hulk, I gotta go get them!”
Before you could get up and attempt to travel back to space, Loki was at your side. “The bifrost opened while you were out, but we do need to find the Avengers. Thanos is coming and as much as I hate to admit it, I think it would be best if we worked together.”
“That big purple guy? What’s his deal?” you ask.
Loki explained everything to you and Tessa. The stones and what Thanos plans to do with them, even what Thanos has already done throughout the galaxy. You then explained to him what happened to the Avengers in Berlin, but reaching out would still be a better option.
“Do you know where we could find them, can you jump there?” you’re not an expert on Loki by any means, but you’re positive you can hear panic in his voice.
“Yeah, let me get some things together really quick and we can go.” grabbing Tessa and pulling her into your room.
There was too much going on. Not even an hour ago you were on a run in the park and now you had to help prevent half of the galaxy from dying? What were you even supposed to do? It’s not like you’ve had any training, just what you’ve picked up on your own.
“Tess, I need you to stay here. Call out of work if you have to but please.. don’t leave the apartment.” you were throwing clothes into a bag, not even realizing you were panicking until Smokey rubbed against your leg. You didn’t even want a cat, but Tessa insisted. And she was right, Smokey was basically your emotional support cat at this point.
“I will, Yn. But you gotta go save the world. I love you!” She gives you a hug and pushes you to Loki. “And you, keep her safe.”
Loki nods, “I give you my word, no one will lay a finger on her.”
Later that day, after Thanos
After leaving your apartment with Loki, you ended up arriving at the compound the same time as Captain America and a few others. No one was happy to see Loki, but once Bruce Banner told them what had happened (and that Thor thought he had died), everyone felt better about you two traveling to Wakanda with them.
The battle was unlike anything you’ve ever seen, worse than the battle of New York. When everything was said and done, there were bodies and blood - and dust - everywhere. But Loki kept his word. You had a few cuts and bruises, sure, but you were alive. The same couldn’t be said about half of the world, or anywhere else for that matter, though.
You were still on the battlefield with Loki, neither one of you were there when Thanos showed up. When he noticed you watching soul after soul disappear, he suggested you go back home to check on Tessa and Smokey.
“I’m afraid they won’t be there.” you finally look up at him, tears falling down your face. “They’re the only family I have left, what if they aren’t there?”
“I’ll go with you, you don’t have to do this on your own, little one.” He wrapped his arms around you and waited until you were ready to leave.
When you jumped to your apartment, you landed on the outside of your door, too afraid to open it. “It’s probably best to just get it over with..”
“I know, I know,” you turned the knob, immediately hearing The Office playing in the living room. You grab Loki’s hand and push the door open, venturing further into the apartment.
It wasn’t an act of affection he was used to, and his first reaction was to jerk away. But then he felt you squeeze his hand for comfort. He felt his heart swell, silently vowing to always protect you from this moment on, feeling great pride knowing you saw him as your protector.
You walk through the kitchen and yell out for Tessa, even shaking Shadow's favorite toy, but you didn’t hear anything. Loki helped you check the bathroom, her bedroom, your bedroom. Still, nothing. You had been saving the obvious option for last, hoping, praying that your worst fears weren’t coming true.
As you walked into the living room you didn't notice anything out of the ordinary, but then you looked to the spot on the couch where Tess and Smokey sit and just see a pile of ash. Loki saw the look of your face and was standing ready to catch you any way you fell. But you just stood there.
Numb.
The only person in this world who really knew you was gone. A victim to a war she had nothing to do with and yet she’s gone, not knowing what the hell was happening. It wasn’t fair. You failed to stop Thanos and yet here you were, alive. But all of these innocent, good people that had no fight in this war were just gone.
“I.. I need to get away from here.” you whisper. “I’m gonna pack, you don't have to come-”
“Nonsense, of course I’m coming.” he interrupted. “I told you you didn’t have to do this on your own and I meant that.”
You went to your room and packed all of the clothes that you could, and all the other essentials. After grabbing your bag you stopped at Tessa’s room and opened the door, working yourself up to go in. “What do you need in here?”
“Tessa’s blanket,” you sigh, “it was mine but she just loved it so much I kinda just let her have it. I can’t leave it here.” Standing up, you fold the small blanket and hold it in your arms.
You both leave the apartment and discuss ideas about where you could lay low for a bit, until you know it’s safe. Loki had been the one to remember the bunkers Rhodey was talking about the day before. When Tony Stark remodeled the Compound he added some bunkers, because apparently, you have to be prepared for everything.
Instead of jumping there, you decided you needed a walk. You needed to process everything that happened and maybe walking for a couple of hours would help, but by the time you found a bunker your thoughts were still a mess.
When you looked around to see what all you had, you noticed there was plenty of food and toiletries, even a tv and radio. There was even a small kitchen and bathroom, but there was only one bed which might make things a little awkward. “It’s not as tech’ed as I imagined, but this will work.”
“Agreed. I’m going to take a shower and get some rest, I feel like you should do the same.” He was genuinely concerned about your mental state, and you knew he was right. “Okay, I’ll make us something to eat while you shower.”
While Loki was in the shower, you could only think about two things. 1) Tessa and Smokey, and 2) the sleeping arrangement. You hardly knew the man, but he’s done nothing but make you feel safe. And you didn’t know if it was losing Tessa, going through all that you had with him today, or a combination of both, but you wanted to keep him close.. you just didn’t know how to ask.
As you heard the water in the bathroom cut off dinner was ready, just regular spaghetti, nothing special. It was one of the few things that didn’t require much effort to make. Shout out to whoever's idea it was to add a spice rack, though. It was obvious to you that Loki had never had anything like it, but he was kind enough to give it a try.
“So,” he stands up from the table, putting his dishes in the sink, “I can sleep on the couch if you’d like.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, that couch is way too short for you. We can.. we can share the bed, if that’s fine with you” you suggested.
“I’d like that.” was all he said before he left you alone to take a shower.
☄︎
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irondadgroupie · 5 years
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Peter never gets over Tony’s death
A/N: Spoilers for Avengers Endgame. Heavy subject material ahead
When Tony dies, he becomes an angel.
Everyone has access to heaven but also world. Higher beings were very understanding. Dying is a shock, were you prepared or not. Things are very often left unfinished.
Tony know how to use the gift. He watches over his family.
Pepper is strong but grieving. She sleeps on his side of the bed, fights against sobs while clutching his pillow.
Morgan doesn’t really understand the concept of death. She still expects him to come back. Tony guards her sleep, makes sure she has only happy thoughts, brushes her hair though his hand goes through every time.
Peter- his kiddo- is not fairing well. The boy is a mess, the world had forgotten him for five years. May had given up their apartment, he was marked as deceased and had to start everything over.
The boy sleeps on the couch in the new apartment and screams.
Tony tries to be close but he is selfish. He can’t handle grief he has caused.
Had they only been smarter and quicker-
Tony sees over his funeral and is pleasantly shocked how many people attend. His family and comrades in one group, supporting each other.
Morgan looks confused the entire time.
Peter gets sick after the ceremony and rests in the guest room. Tony sits by him and does not like what he sees. The boy’s eyes are vacant, red, he has lost weight. He wants to tell him everything will be fine, wants to tell Peter to be strong.
Useless words.
Life begins a new. Morgan goes to kindergarten and makes lots of friends. Pepper focuses on charity work, having billions of people suddenly reappear is a huge toll on the economy. It causes famine in poor countries.
When Tony hears the news, he wonders if they ever did the right thing undoing the snap.
Peter starts school again but without the light in his eyes. The boy had always been eager to learn but now he just goes through the motions. He stares out the window, ignoring all the questions and calls.
Tony knows something is not right.
He starts spending more time at the Parkers’ apartment. One day, May gets a phone call and it leads to an argument. Peter is failing at school, not returning homework and skipping classes.
“Why should I even go to school,” Peter mutters and kicks the wall. “I died! I come back to a world that has not given a shit about me!”
Peter starts crying. Tony knows the warning signs when he sees them.
“This is about Stark, isn’t it?”
Of course, Tony realizes.
“He left me,” Peter whimpers and May hugs him. Tony leaves the world with Peter’s sobs echoing in his ears.
Tony has now become third father-figure Peter Parker has lost. He had known his death would be tough on Peter but this makes it worse.
That night, Tony finds to his surprise he can still cry.
He starts watching over Peter’s sleep. He tries to clear the boy’s thoughts, put happy memories to the front but nothing much helps. The boy wakes up screaming. Sometimes he even throws up from night terrors.
After a week, May calls Pepper and the women discuss the situation. Strange recommends a psychiatrist and follows Peter to the first session.
It leads to nothing. Peter refuses to answer questions.
“I don’t deserve help,” The boy mutters and bites his fingers. Tony remembers how Peter used to bite his nails when he was nervous: a nasty habit that Peter had never managed to break.
The boy’s fingers leave red marks on pale, dehydrated skin.
“I couldn’t stop Thanos. I didn’t get the stones to the van.”
No, Tony shakes his head. He wants to tell the boy it was team effort, they all succeeded and failed. Nobody blamed Peter.
“I can see it in Pepper’s eyes. I saw it in Tony’s eyes.”
No! He had not blamed the boy. He had watched at Peter with nothing but admiration and love.
But Peter’s mind was sick. It twisted reality according to what it needed to hear.
Psychiatrist describes Peter strong antidepressants and recommends therapy alongside it.
“If it doesn’t work out, we can try to get Peter a place at an institute but I must warn you, lines are incredibly long. Your nephew is not the only one suffering.”
Tony doubts even money could get Peter the help he deserves.
The meds cause awful side-effects: the boy sleeps through the day, can’t hold down food and gets electric shocks in his brain. Tony remembers those all too well.
Peter withers away in his eyes. May takes time off from work to take care of him, she tries to force him to eat, go outside, lead a normal life.
Peter tells he doesn’t see a reason to.
Pepper reads Tony’s prayers and invites Peter over to play with Morgan. The boy declines but May forces him to go.
Pepper makes them pizza and Peter is reminded of internship days when Tony would either order in or alternatively they would make a pizza of their own, putting everything they found in the fridge on top of it. The boy starts crying uncontrollably. Morgan, little angel, pats his hair but Peter ignores her.
At night, when Tony is guarding Morgan’s sleep, he has been ignoring her because of his worry for Peter, he hears the door open. He frowns, it’s three in the morning. He looks out the window and sees a figure walking towards the lake.
Dread settles in his stomach, the figure is too short to be Pepper.
He jumps from the window and runs after Peter.
“Peter!” He screams as the boy trudges forward, his pajamas soaking through in the cold autumn water. He has on sneakers, bringing in extra weight. “Kiddo, go back! Please! Go back to the shore! Peter, you don’t want to do this!”
Peter is not crying. He looks more alive than he has since Tony drew his last breath. Peter’s eyes are fixated on the moon.
“Shit,” Peter gasps as the water reaches his chest. The boy’s lips are turning blue. “Help.”
“We’ll help you, Peter,” Tony tries to grab Peter’s arm but his form goes through. “You just have to go to the shore. We will help you.”
But Peter had made his mind.
Tony screams as the boy goes under the water.
“No!” He grasps his hair and turns to the house. Lights are not on. “Pepper! Pepper! Wake up! Pep!”
But nobody is in the same state of being as him.
Peter was convulsing under water, cold paralyzing his muscles. Tony felt sick watching it but he knew that if this was to be Peter’s last moments, he had to be there.
He dives.
“It’s okay,” He prays somebody will notice Peter missing and come looking for him. But if not, his boy was not going to die alone. “It doesn’t hurt. I swear it doesn’t hurt.”
He wants to hold Peters’ hand.
The boy gasps and coughs out air.
“You’re okay, you’re okay.”
Peter stops moving, his eyes blink tiredly in the sweet water. Tony is still there, looking straight at him, with a soft smile.
Peter blinks.
“Tony?” He mouths and for a moment, they are on the same level. Peter extends his hand and their fingers meet.
Then Peter is grasped away from him.
Tony is glad, it was not too late, Peter could still be saved.
Pepper’s voice is distorted. Tony stays in the water, looks at his fingers.
For a second, he had not been so lonely.
He rises up and walks to the shore where Pepper is pumping Peter’s chest frantically and blowing air into his mouth.
“You can’t do this,” Pepper sobs. “We can’t lose you too.”
As Pepper does a compression, Peter chokes and spits up a large mouthful of water. Tony watches as Pepper helps the boy to his side, thumps his back and grasps his hand. Peter curls up while water drips from his mouth and nose.
Tony is relieved, the boy got a second chance.
If only he could appreciate it.
Peter lies.
Tony hears him tell Pepper, May, everyone that he sleepwalked.
Nobody fully believes him but who would dare to be the first person to call him a liar?
Besides, Peter seems to have gotten some of his fight back. He goes back to school, takes his meds and at least tries to eat. It doesn’t often work, nausea trips to the bathroom are still too common.
Psychiatrist calls it minimal improvement but it was still something they could work on.
Not even once does Tony notice a smile on Peter’s face. Not when watching funny videos or looking at old pictures.
To him, there is nothing to work on.
Looking back, he knew the boy was already lost.
That night he is with Pepper and Morgan and listens to a bedtime story. He miss telling those.
Pepper gets a phone call and frowns at the number. She tells Morgan to read for a moment by herself and leaves the room. Tony debates whether to follow but he is having too much fun watching Morgan try to spell out words. He corrects her mistakes.
Pepper comes back ten minutes later, her eyes red and tear tracks on her face.
“Morgan, honey,” The woman sniffles and takes the book gently. “You remember Peter?”
No, Tony’s eyes snap open.
Morgan nods.
“He-” Pepper tries to find the words. “Peter won’t be coming over anymore”
Where was Peter? Where would Peter go?
“He is dead, baby.”
“Dead like Daddy?”
Tony panics. Peter was not supposed to be dead.
“Yes. He is with Daddy in Heaven.”
“Will Daddy take care of him?”
Pepper nods with a sad smile.
“Yes, sweetie. Daddy will make sure Peter is alright.”
“Will he read him bedtime stories?”
Tony leaves before he hears the answer. He has to find Peter.
He goes up to Heaven and seeks out the Higher Lords.
“Where are the ones who have just died?”
They appear here, Tony doesn’t know if the words are spoken aloud or if he understands it through a bond.
“I need to find my kind”
Seek in the hall
He does and finds countless new faces. He calls for Peter but finds nobody. But he finds too many people he had seen on the vanished list, mostly old people. Their health had declined after multiple shocks about how their lives had changed.
“I couldn’t not find him. He is not here.”
Everyone who dies comes here
“But Peter is not here! Where is my kid?”
If he died a natural death, he appears here
Tony blinks. “What do you mean natural?”
“Sickness, old age or accident.”
Tony feels sick
“What if- what if Peter- what if someone does it themselves?”
Silence
They go to limbo
“Limbo?”
They are there for undeemed time
“Why?”
Giving away your life is a sin
“He was suffering!”
Nevertheless, if he killed himself-
“You punish him! You punish a hurting child! What kind of sick fucks are you?!”
Tony rubs his face, tries to force down panic.
“How long is he there?”
It is not certain- time loses meaning here
“Are we talking about a week?”
Silence
“Month? Year?”
Never an answer
Next few weeks Tony spends sitting on the ground at the undertaker’s. He guards Peter’s body. He sees people come and see the kid. He witnesses the long gashes on Peter’s wrists. No autopsy is needed, the boy died of blood loss.
During the funeral, he sits beside the casket. He doesn’t look inside after the lid is closed. Peter had on makeup to hide the paleness of his skin and lips.
“I- I had hope he would be the next hero of this world,” Rhodey whispers as the Avengers look down on their youngest member lying on velvet pillows, hands crossed and a bouquet of white roses over his chest.
Pepper doesn’t let Morgan see Peter’s body and Tony agrees with the decision.
Peter is laid down to rest in a cemetery in Queens, besides his parents.
There is still no sign of him in heaven.
Tony doesn’t know when he will arrive there, how long it will take. Maybe Peter will only get to rest once everyone on their team is dead.
He sits down beside the grave, looks as snowflakes start covering the small hill under which Peter’s body resides.
“Oh, kiddo,” He cries and touches the ground. “You’re alright.”
Those were the last words he ever said to Peter.
Maybe they would once be Peter’s welcoming to Heaven.
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