At the beginning of your relationship with Dottore, there had been numerous times when he had tried to leave you, or rather, attempt to force you to leave him in the Akademiya. Ignoring you, snapping at you... most notably literally kicking you out of the dorm (to waking up and nearly stepping on you, as you had decided to knock out right at the door.) Merely because he still had difficulty believing he was loved by you, despite having known you for years. It took much time but, eventually, your feelings finally clicked in that genius head of his.
However, uncharacteristically enough, there was one time you debated on whether you should leave Zandik. Only one time. And he had found out. If only you had been more careful.
It happened during the later stage of your illness when your ability to do many basic tasks had been stripped from you, leaving you reliant on Zandik for many things. You felt very guilty, for making him so do much work for both himself and you, but there wasn't much you could do about it, being the way you were now. Did you tell your lover about this? No, of course not.
But today, today would just be another regular day of what you had accepted to be your new life. However, you had noticed in the morning he seemed rather irritated, but you had no chance to ask him about it since he had to leave for class. You wondered what that was all about. (You, somewhere in the depths of your mind thought. You were continuously being a burden on the knowledge-driven scholar, no wonder he'd be irritated.)
When he returned to the dorm, you could tell that the foul mood still remained. Though, you could not understand what had caused it. He was perfectly fine last night, something must have happened after you fell asleep... As you watched him, the words "welcome home" could not seem to come out as they usually did, especially when he had not even acknowledged you yet, only emptying his bag with all of his books and other tools. You swallowed nervously, wondering how you were going to go about this when he spoke.
"Where?"
"Huh?"
"Where do you plan to go?" You were understandably confused by this seemingly random question.
"Um... nowhere?" A nervous smile made its way to your face, as Zandik only gave you a blank look, before carefully unfolding a piece of paper, and reading it over once more, no emotion on his face. Which, was already quite alarming for you, because Zandik was the kind of person who always had a hint of annoyance written on his face. He then turned the paper to face you and you squinted, reading the contents.
Oh. You instantly recognized what it was. It was a form that one had to fill out if they wanted to move out of the Akademiya's dorms.
When you said you felt guilty for everything, you meant it. Meant it to the point you worried if you were still good enough for him, if you had become annoying, a bumbling nuisance that had become more of a chore rather than a partner. It worried you, and you couldn't help but think about it. What if you were right? What if he did feel all of those things? Then maybe, maybe you should relieve him of this burden. You. Then, he could continue to pursue his goals, without the added hindrance of taking care of you.
It wasn't something you were set on yet, more like something you mulled over in your head. But you had filled out the potential moving out form tentatively just in case you decided to go through with it. Ah, you probably had shoved it in your bag along with your many missing assignments, and Zandik must have found it after trying to check your homework... But now, your lover was staring holes into you, expecting an answer.
"Well, I- I didn't mean it. It was... just in case," you were just spewing words at this point because you really had no defense. After all, how do you explain to your roommate of many years that you were going to move out and disappear without telling him?
"Just in case," the scholar repeats. "Just in case..." And then Zandik laughs. At what? You're not sure, because you've only seen him laugh at other people's foolishness, or in scorn and bitterness. It's a bit unsettling, seeing him act this way, but you have no time to think about it before the paper is torn right in half twice and then abandoned in the trash bin.
"No." Well... alright then.
"Za-"
"No, no no no. How utterly absurd. Ridiculous. You are not going anywhere." The way he says it simultaneously sounds like an order to you yet also an attempt to reassure himself of your impossible departure. You wondered if he interpreted your reason for leaving as something more... drastic.
"Hey-" You stand up, hoping an embrace would calm his nerves, but he begins to pace around. Now, this wouldn't be unusual, he tends to do this while he's ranting or deeply thinking about his research but obviously, it's different this time.
"Leave? No," Zandik scoffs to himself, "the possibility is nigh on impossible. There is no need to plan for such lengths, I shall make sure it doesn't come to that." When he finished mumbling to himself, you tried to interject before his gaze snapped back to you.
"And you. You, how dare you go behind my back and do such a thing? Do you think me incompetent? Do you think me a senseless fool that I would allow you to do this?"
"..."
"I find this quite tasteless, especially after how much you parroted about 'always being by my side' or 'never leaving'. Or have you finally shown your true colors? Leaving me after-" Zandik cut himself off because the words he was going to say next shouldn't be said out loud. Leaving him after he's already obsessed with you, when he's already in love with you and would go mad without your presence. But then all he could feel was your arms around him and your face buried in his chest.
"Zandik please, I'm sorry," your voice was but a whisper. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything like that." Zandik's hands itched to hold you back, but he restrained himself, needing to hear your reasoning.
"I don't want to leave you, I really don't. I love you! So... that's why I filled that form out. Because I... am scared of burdening you too much. I know how you are. I know you want someone who is useful, w-who can be of assistance in all kinds of ways, not someone who is dead weight. So I... I don't want you to force yourself to- ow!" Your increasingly pitiful dialogue was interrupted by a flick to your forehead and the clicking of a tongue.
"Fool..." he moved his hand to rest on the top of your head. "You can be quite intelligent, but the reasons for your stupidity can be headache-inducing sometimes. Now that you've said all of that, has it clicked how idiotic it sounds?" Though your partner's words sounded harsh, his tone was noticeably softer. You could only cast your gaze downward as he sighed.
"I too wonder why you do not take your own advice. Were you not the one who said to... 'talk things out', before jumping to conclusions? So why have I not heard of this?" (The phrase feels out of place and rather disgusting on the man who normally refuses to hold a conversation on anything other than research, but he forces it out for your sake. Unfortunately, he can also hear your sing-song voice in his head as he replays the words.)
"Because... it's dumb, like you said. I shouldn't waste your time anymore..."
"I usually do not entertain dumb inquiries but... you are an exception. My assistant's questions must always be clarified." And as his lover, your troubles must always be assuaged, but that part was left unsaid, although you knew what he meant. "Yes, your usefulness was a great help, but I couldn't care less about that right now. I care about you, and if taking on extra responsibilities happens to fall under that feeling, then so be it. I don't care," Zandik said bluntly. Was it elegant? No. Was it truthful? Yes. It made your cheeks warm a bit.
"Well... thank you for the honor," you couldn't help but crack a tiny smile as Zandik only mumbled something incoherent before pushing you back to bed. Ah, you were feeling a little drained from all of that.
"Now that all that is sorted out, and that hopefully every inch of that nonsense has left you, I suggest you go to sleep quickly, unless you want to be kept awake by the sounds of my latest experiment." You only giggled at your boyfriend. He's unkind... in a kind way if that made sense. But before you could be whisked away to the land of dreams, Zandik spoke once more.
"[Name]."
"Mhm?"
"...Do not try to leave me ever again."
"...I know, Zandik."
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How Riku has no idea that Riku means so much to Sora
An Analysis through mom
Riku has always been afraid of being forgotten and left behind by Sora. And this is how he is able get manipulated by Maleficent. She tells him his greatest fears, that Sora found new friends and doesn't care about him anymore. She gives him proof letting him watch Sora being silly and argue with Donald and Goofy.
But from day one as soon as Sora is separated, he wants to find Riku. All on his mind is finding Riku (and Kairi too) and when he finds Riku in Traverse Town he is happy and to make sure he isn't dreaming he goes up to him and pulls on his mouth.
Riku is glad he had found Sora and wants to continue to play the role of protector but when it seems Sora can handle himself he doesn't know where he is supposed to fit in. Sora has these new friends and now can handle himself, Riku is afraid of being forgotten.
But throughout kh1 Sora keeps trying to reason with Riku and it's important that his friend sees what's right. And when they close the door Riku tells Sora take care of Kairi.
COM
He doesn't exactly do that.... The first thing he does is wanting to find Riku. That's on his mind. He ventures through castle oblivion in hopes he can find Riku. And when he faces Repliku he is so happy even though his thoughts of trying to find Riku is almost replaced with Naminé.
This Repliku is bitter about that and upset even saying how Sora never care about that or cared about him (being Repliku). But Riku hates how he feels towards his friend and how he wants his friend still even though he believes Sora has forgotten about him saying, You always have wormed your way into my heart," and Sora is confused by this statement.
And once Naminé tells Repliku to stop and he falls back Sora is completely overwhelmed by what happened to Repliku and what did Naminé do to him. This scene is especially good in the novel where it shows Sora holding Repliku.
Later Repliku realizes how true Sora's feelings towards him are (how he cares for him as an individual not being a Riku) before leaving, still Sora is sad he is leaving and still wants to find him.
During Rebirth/Reverse when Repliku fades away into darkness he doesn't mind if he fades away but what he actually cares is that Sora remembers him. He doesn't want to get forgotten by Sora or get mixed up with the real Riku.
Kh2
Sora wakes up and forgets everything in Castle Oblivion and still has the same desire to find Riku. Throughout kh2 all on his mind is where is Riku, is he okay, I really miss him. And it's the most precious thing. He integrates Mickey about it and it isn't until Mickey accidentally slip up that Sora is so happy and jumps for joy.
Another time during land of the dragons when he finds out Riku been there he is excited because it meant he is okay and nearby. He didn't care that he might be with the organization, he just cares about Riku. During the novel, Sora talks about fighting Riku was so fun.
And finally when he actually sees him he goes on his knees crying because he misses him and is happy to finally be with Riku. In the novel he states how happy he is to be fighting by Riku's side and is just bashful about this.
Riku doesn't care that much about himself and thinks less of himself on why anyone would actually care for him. And is surprised when Sora helps him up and brings him through the dark world. He admits in the novel, he is sad Sora is there and didn't want him to fade into the darkness but is glad he isn't alone. Sora seems to precious and important to Riku that he doesn't believe he deserves his friendship.
He is afraid of being forgotten but he accepts that he might not be worth it and as long as Sora is happy that is all that matters. He doesn't realize how much Sora truly cares about himself. They come to the conclusion they both will be okay because they're together.
RC
Even though it's technically not them in recoded data Riku doesn't believe in his worth after how he messed up everything in the data worlds. Sora is sadden by how little he thinks of himself and thinks he is the only one trying to maintain their friendship.
When Data Sora hears him talking to him in the Olympus Coliseum worlds, he is glad to hear Riku's voice. Even when his keyblade gets destroyed Riku comes in and Sora is just happy that he is there. It means everything to him and he doesn't care that he has no way to fight, Sora was determined to save data Riku
BBS
Even ten years prior when Terra gave Riku the ability to wield a keyblade, Sora immediately wants to know about Riku. He wants to know who that man was and if he knew him. In BBS it has them both care for each other. Riku admit how important Sora is to him and wishes to get stronger to protect him while Sora blatantly tells Aqua he likes Riku, he is his best friend. He seems to want to do everything with him and wouldn't hesitate to help him from darkness.
When Ven goes to Sora's heart, Riku notices something is wrong and knows how to help him. Without questioning it, he takes his advice even if it is strange.
DDD
He goes through the exam because Riku felt like he needed to be tested, Sora didn't think either of them needed to. Sora really wanted to take the exam by his side and is a bit sad that Riku isn't there. However through his heart he feels connected to Riku and when things happen Sora knows Riku will be there.
Joshua asks Sora if he wants to give Riku a message, he tells him there's no need because he knows they will see each other soon. On Riku's side he goes through a personal journey of accepting himself despite everything he has done. He doesn't know if he deserves everyone but knows he is lucky to have Sora.
KH3
Riku still doesn't see the full extent to how much Sora cares about him. Sora just wants to be with him through out the entire game. He is constantly worried about Riku especially going into the dark world. Sora wants to join him. And once they lose connection with Riku, Sora is sad and is like see this is why I should have gone.
And since discovering the Gummiphone being able to talk to Riku, Sora constantly thinks about calling Riku and just telling Riku about how cool this place is, when they went to Fransankyoto.
Riku is surprised when Sora comes in to save him the the dark realm. He's glad he is there but doesn't think much of it. At the pre battle Riku doesn't think he means that much to Sora, he's just like any of his other friends. He talks to Repliku and allows Sora to spent time with Kairi.
However Sora is questioning why Riku is alone there and seems to want to spend time with him. Then Riku and Sora are the only ones left. Sora breaks down. Riku wants Sora's happiness beyond anything else and reassures him with his words something only Riku can do. He feels better but still Riku doesn't think his life is that important and sacrifices himself. The expression Sora makes during this scene tells you everything. Sora is hurt that Riku is too doing this.
Riku is extremely important to Sora that when trying to recover him, he is floating in Olympus like he is the most important person ever to Sora.
Riku doesn't believe he means much to Sora. He doesn't see how he's the one that Sora just wants to spend time with and searching for. He rather put Sora's happiness before his own and believes in Sora. He let him save Kairi because he believes in him and his own happiness.
Mom
Riku thought it was Kairi who meant so much to Sora. He didn't believe it was him who was supposed to find Sora. That's why he was so shocked when the fairy godmother told him his dreams were the key and it was him who was supposed to dive to the Quadratum by following Sora's heart.
He didn't realize how important he was to Sora. He kept being selfishly selfless about this. Until he realizes it was him. He is the key. And Riku means so much to Sora, but he doesn't realize how much.
This could be a deep friendship or possibly something more, but he's very important to Sora and Riku just needs to realize it...
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