#okay but seriously mass effect is baffling
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Sci-fi writers not being racist and unimaginative challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)
I had a dream that I tried to write this recently and accidentally replaced it with footage of me playing Deep Rock Galactic when I tried to post it, so I’ll try my best to not do that.
I know saying that a lot of fantasy and science fiction worldbuilding is barebones and bland is a pretty tepid take. In many fictional settings, the idea of nationality, ideology, and race are conflated. One and the same, effectively. Mass Effect has the Turian Hierarchy and the Salarian Union, galaxy-spanning governments made up of almost singularly the species turians and salarians respectively, who all believe in roughly the same things, have the same broad personality, and have seemingly been stagnant for thousands of years. Deviation from the turian mentality is treated as a unique trait worthy of ascending a random NPC to a supporting character. To all other races, the idea that humans can believe in different ideologies is fascinating. I think it’s an uncontroversial take to say that this is pretty bland writing, and at least a bit racist. Outside of the special and unique (and overwhelmingly European) humans, all other cultures are monolithic and simplified.
I should stop myself here because I genuinely have at least half a dozen essays’ worth of Mass Effect topics I would want to go on a rant about. I should move on.
Orson Scott Card’s writing beyond the original Ender’s Game is also emblematic of this approach. In his sci-fi universe, all of the countless worlds that have been colonized are entirely monocultural. Specifically, they are takes on cultures from the point of view of a 30-something center-right mormon in America in the 1980’s. Highlights include a world colonized by the Japanese which bears the name Divine Wind, which translates to ‘Kamikaze’, which might be in slightly poor taste. There is also a world with a predominately Chinese population that is notable for a) being largely covered in rice fields, and b) not knowing what neurodivergency is. It gives overwhelming ‘I read a Wikipedia article and skimmed a really racist history book and am now an expert on all other cultures” vibes. He also wrote Xenocide and Children of the Mind, so maybe we should stop taking him seriously.
So often, worldbuilding in fiction refuses to reckon with the idea that the nations they depict can be anything beyond overwhelmingly monocultural stereotypes of real-world people. After all, it’s much simpler if all of the aliens are just caricatures of other people that really exist, right? No work needed. Oh no, what's this picture of a T'au doing here?
This took me a while to write because I’ve got a lot of takes on the topic of writing and worldbuilding, and it was hard to figure out what to include and what to save for a more focused post later. On that topic, I do have another one planned focusing on my personal, insignificant takes on the ingredients to make a coherent backdrop for a story, and some hot takes and blanket statements to make about worldbuilding as a whole. It’ll hopefully be something more positive and constructive than this.
EDIT MADE MINUTES AFTER I POSTED THIS: I forgot to include the funniest example of all time, the world of Warhammer Fantasy. There are some incredible examples of this kind of worldbuilding. Kislev, the Lizardmen, Cathay, Nippon, Araby, the Tomb Kings, Bretonnia, all comically transparent carbon copies of the most obvious, stereotypical parts of real-world cultures that managed to become a relatively successful media franchise that helped to launch Games Workshop into the company it is now.
#mass effect#mass effect is actually kinda bad#worldbuilding#orson scott card#ender's game#warhammer#sci fi#short essay#okay but seriously mass effect is baffling#did we all forget the line about autism from the dlc#orson scott card is a hack
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Its always funny to me how if theres a game series with romancable companions in it and any of them are non human, the devs always seem baffled that anyone would want to romance them until like 2 or three games in?
"This is Mass Effect. You can human woman, human man, or essentially Blue human woman"
player base: I wanna smooch the space dinosaur
"Are you sure?"
player base: And the lady with no face
"Okay. heres Fallout. you have mostly humans but theres also mutants and these grotesque zombie people"
player base:...
"You want to smooch the grotesque zombie people dont you"
Player: maybe
Seriously they should just start anticipating this stuff from the get go at this point.
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Hey! I just want to drop by and ask if you're doing okay! I saw your recent reblog/response about colonialism and I can't help but wonder how you're doing. You handled it very well by the way. Way better than I would have if I was in that situation.
Also, thank you for mentioning the atrocities that Japan inflicted. Unfortunately, many countries were affected including mine. It seems like people forget about it but then again, just reading about what they have done, makes me want to forget about it as well. It's so unimaginable. Due to what was happening back then, women had to dress up as boys, be married off to someone, or hide. I don't hate Japan but we need to learn about history so that it doesn't repeat itself.
A bit off-topic but I find it funny that a lot of people assume that the people in our small community are Caucasian when a lot of us especially the more "well-known" blogs in this community are POC and sometimes even Muslim. I hate it when people conclude that everybody with a certain type of belief or opinion is categorized in the same box. By the way, this is coming from somebody who hates when Westerners try to enforce their ideologies on us or when my people try to seek Western validation. Just because I think this way doesn't mean all my other opinions are what other people think they might be.
Hi!! Thank you for your kind words 😃. In the reply, she had the nerve to say that European atrocities have left the biggest repercussions and that is just so ignorant. I am sorry to hear that Japanese atrocities had a bad effect on your people but it just goes to show how dark humans can be. It's interesting how we forget that the reason H*tler was able to mass murder the jews was because he blamed all Germany's problems on them. Literally, it was that easy to convince normal people to end an entire race. Same with his Native Americans were treated. Their "barbaric" ways had to be corrected by civilized white men and so genocide happened. And the same things are happening all across the globe.
I personally find it astonishing that we haven't changed at all in that. We still put certain groups on a pedestal and villainize others. Its hard to see now but this is exactly what the Nazis did. Back then, people didn't know what it would turn out to be. But the start is always a mental classification of the "other" as inherently evil. This is what is being done to Europeans. And just the bitterness when you read their posts is baffling. History should be a way to examine human nature and study it. Not to pick sides and put those judgements on modern living people. The latter has been done many times and always resulted in disaster.
Thank you checking 😘. I did pick the fight but lets just say that I hit my limit with these anti European posts. But I am pretty used to this since my dad himself accuses me of the "slave" mentality because I refuse to blame Europeans for all the evil in the world. Crazy world we live in.
Also, can I just add that I too used to be this narrow minded and bitter? My dad is really into Pakistani history and politics and during car rides to and from school, he would lecture us all. It developed my person thoughts to be the same as him. And I actually credit one of my uni professors for totally changing my thoughts. It was a class in European history but the way he taught it completely changed my views on everything. I might look for one of the papers I wrote for the class later and post it. It was a splendid class. He introduced me to the book The Killing Compartments: The Mentality of Mass Murder by Abram de Swaan and it is a game changer. I would highly recommend everyone to read it. Its not a long read but a great one.
Anyway, I am glad to see that I had much support. I love my followers who are seriously some of the most open minded people I know. After all, my views in the world would not be so welcome lol.
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Hellsing Liveblog Ch. 7-10
This is the “Dead Zone” arc, featuring Luke and Jan Valentine.
This arc is set around... uh, September 3rd-ish, I think. By now, Hellsing has had time to investigate this recent uptick in vampire incidents, and she calls a meeting of the “Convention of Twelve” to discuss her findings. This group represents the heads of various important agencies, political leaders, and noblemen, and the manga states that they “essentially” run the British Empire. I’m not sure how to read that, exactly. Kouta Hirano appears to be establishing one of two things:
1) Parliament Shmarliament, everything is really controlled by this secret group of oligarchs sitting at a table.
or
2) This is a collection of all the big wheels in British society, so they might as well be calling the shots even if they aren’t a true governing body.
I’m not terribly concerned about which one it is, since we left real-world Great Britain behind a long time ago. The Hellsing U.K. seems to put a lot more power in the monarchy, for example. Also there’s friggin’ draulas runnin’ around everwhere.
Anyway, Integra reveals that the vampires they’ve been killing lately all have microchips installed in their bodies. She says the chips “define the vampire’s status, behavior, intent, and aggression.” I don’t know if that means outright control or a more subtle manipulation. It might exaplain why the couple in Chapter 3 weren’t exactly being subtle.
Moreover, these vampires haven’t been following the conventional rules laid down back in Chapter 1. Vampire bites can turn a person into another vampire, but only if the victim is a virgin. Otherwise, they turn into ghouls. Destroying the head vampire will destroy all the ghouls he’s created. But that hasn’t been happening. The couple in Chapter 3 killed a lot of children, but they all became ghouls. And in Badrick, Anderson killed the vampire, but the ghouls remained active long enough for Alucard and Seras to fight them.
At least, that’s what Integra is saying. We never actually saw any ghouls in Chapter 3, and Anderson killed the vampire in Badrick off-panel, so we don’t know the exact timing. But I’ll take Integra’s word for it.
Something that got lost along the way was the matter of what happens to Seras if someone managed to kill Alucard. According to Chapter 1, she’d die immediately, but we never actually see that play out, and Seras is the only vampire created by another vampire in this story. We never see ghouls die en masse, either, because there’s never a situation where their master dies first, and the ghouls we see from here on out are these rule-breaking microchippy kind anyway.
Never mind that shit, here comes the Seras part. Walter has replaced her bed with a coffin. Apparently she had a bed in this dank-ass dungeon, and then one day Integra got a wild hair and decided “Oh, yeah, she should be sleeping in a vampire bed.” She’s been a vampire for like two months now. I feel bad for Walter, having to lug that big-ass bed down here, only to have to take the damn thing right back out. He must have known it was going to end this way. You’d think he would have said something before.
Seras hates this idea, but Walter relays a second order, one from Alucard: Seras has to sleep in the coffin. Well, that seems kind of redundant, but I guess Seras might have tried to sleep on the floor or something instead. The main thing I find interesting about this is that Seras is mostly irritated by Integra ordering the coffin, but she takes it much more seriously when Alucard is mentioned.
According to Walter, since Seras hasn’t drunk any blood, her powers will weaken... unless she sleeps in a coffin lined with soil from her birthplace. So maybe it’s an either/or deal. Integra was fine with Seras using a big girl bed because she assumed Seras would be drinking blood. But without it, she has to use a coffin, or she’ll be no good to the team. And after two months, it’s become clear that Seras has no intention of drinking blood, even bags of donated blood, like the one Alucard snacked on in Badrick.
Even Seras doesn’t know exactly why she won’t do it, which Alucard finds baffling. If this was a dealbreaker for her, she should have just died as a human in Cheddar.
But Al isn’t entirely unsympathetic either. His words are harsh, but they’re the truth: Seras is a vampire now, and there’s no going back. She keeps trying to resist this, but it’s already happened. Denial will only make this more painful for her. I think that’s part of the reason he offered his own blood to her in Badrick. I mean, there weren’t a lot of other options, but from an ethical standpoint, drinking Alucard’s blood seems reasonable, since it won’t kill him. The unspoken sentiment here is: Listen, I know this is difficult for you, and I’ll try to make this as easy as possible, but you need to do this and there’s no way around it. But even that doesn’t seem to work, and Alucard’s in no particular hurry, so he’s willing to table the matter. Which I suppose is how the coffin thing came about in the first place.
Walter also takes this moment to give the vampires their new guns. Alucard wanted something special for the next time he tangles with Alexander Anderson. Recall that Al already has a special cosmogun with an infinite supply of magic bullets, and he shot Anderson in the face and it didn’t stop him. So Walter builds him “The Jackal”, which is basically the same as his first gun, only even bigger and with a black finish. It also says “Jesus Christ is in Heaven Now”, which drives me nuts because I don’t know if that’s like a message to Anderson, or just some random thing. Kouta Hirano puts these nonsense religious slogans all over Hellsing, and I’m pretty sure he’s just doing it for effect, and not particularly concerned over whether there’s any religious significance to the words.
As for Seras, she gets a giant bazooka-looking think called the Harkonnen, named after a Dune character. One of these days I want to sit down and read Dune. I kind of feel guilty that I haven’t already, because then I could be writing this and get all excited for this moment. “HOLY SHIT!! IS THAT MOTHERFUCKING DUNE REFERENCE?!” Instead I’m like, ho-hum, yes it is.
Let’s move on. This arc is about the Valentine Brothers, two vampires who take the fight to Hellsing instead. They have a small army of ghouls, and their plan is to just drive up in a tour bus and storm the gate. Ghouls are mindless, zombie-like monsters, but apparently they can work a gun well enough, and Hellsing never imagined an enemy would try such a thing.
As soon as Integra finds out about this, she tries to evacuate the Twelve, but their helicopter gets destroyed, cutting off any chance of escape. Then Jan (pronounced “Yon” by the way), calls her on the comm system and threatens to kill them all.
So Integra calls Walter, who already knows what’s happening. Um, how? I feel like the anime explained this better. Maybe Jan’s profanity-laden threats were on a public-address system instead of just for the conference room. But it sure looks like Walter’s just chilling out in a windowless, underground room. But he already knows there’s no hope of reinforcements arriving to save them. He proposes himself and Seras using the ventilation shafts to get to the coference room, where they can defend the twelve, while Alucard can go on the offensive.
Alucard is amused to hear that Walter is going back into action, and calls him “Angel of Death”. We’ll come back to that.
So Walter’s pretty much on top of things here. No one ever considered anything like this happening before. Hellsing is supposed to be a secret organization, so a vampire shouldn’t know to come here in the first place. Moreover, no one dreamed that a vampire would plan it out so well, using ghouls in a military fashion. But he’s optimistic about their chances for survival, because...
Walter has super powers. Specifically, he has these magic wires he can use to bind and slice up his enemies, and this makes short work of the Valentines’ ghouls. He then repeats Jan’s taunts back at him. Okay, so I guess Walter did hear Jan’s message from earlier.
The problem I always had with this development was that it seemed awfully convenient for Walter to have super powers. But then, it took me a while to catch on to Anderson having super powers, and he took a bullet to the face. I think the conceit of the Hellsing world is that these “anti-freak” organizations have to have super-powered operatives, so they use secret techniques and alchemy or whatever to empower men like Walter and Anderson. It’s really not that hard to swallow.
Except that the first vampire-hunter we meet in Hellsing is Alucard, who is himself a vampire. So it seemed like the whole point was that he was the best suited for the job because he had the raw power to do it. Integra doesn’t seem to have any powers, and neither do any of the rank-and-file Hellsing operatives who get mowed down by the Valentines’ ghouls. So it always confused me for Walter to just go “Wassup, I have powers too.” But it only makes sense for Hellsing to have more than one card to play. Clearly, Walter used to hunt vampires on the regular before he retired to become a butler.
Between Walter’s wires and Seras’ giant gun, they manage to subdue Jan easily enough, but he reveals he has a partner, Luke, whose job is to tackle the second half of their mission: to destroy Alucard. Let’s check in on him...
Yeah. I was thinking about doing a blow-by-blow of this fight, but it’s kind of pointless. Luke talks a big game, and seems confident that he’s on a higher level than the vampires Alucard has been fighting recently, and for a hot minute, even Alucard believes that he might be a worthy adversary, “above even a ‘Category A’ vampire,” so he releases his “control art restriction,” to “Level 1″.
I guess I should back up and explain this. Alucard, like all overpowered anime characters, can hold back his full power and reveal it in stages. For some reason he has to announce that he’s doing this, like Windows 10 describing it’s own updating. Presumably, there’s a Level 4 where he usually operates, and that was enough for him to fight Luke evenly. But here, we see him jump all the way to Level 1, which allows him to turn into some shadowy form with lots of eyes and two dog heads.
Also, centipedes. The point is, this is all stuff Luke can’t do. He’s more of a “super speed gun-shooting” kind of vampire, so he’s immediately outclassed. Alucard’s dog form eats Luke and that’s the end of him.... OR IS IT?
Meanwhile, Jan’s ghoul army is beaten, but he still has reinforcements in the form of all the Hellsing soldiers they killed earlier. These men rise up as new ghouls and chase down Seras while Jan makes a break for the conference room where the Twelve are holed up. Walter tries to catch Jan, but only manages to rip off one of his arms. He makes it to the door, only to find...
Integra and the others all have guns, and they shoot him down.
All Jan has left now is his second wave of ghouls, except Seras manages to overwhelm them. At first, she was panicking, but then she freaks out and goes feral on them, to the point where Integra has to jump in and order her to stop. When she does, she seems to have no idea what just happened. This is mostly overshadowed by the sheer horror of Hellsing’s soldiers being reduced to the undead.
All that’s left is Jan, who refuses to talk. He has the same microchip implants as the previous vampires, and the people who sent him are monitoring him in real-time, which means they know he failed, and they can make him self-destruct before he can tell Hellsing anything. As he dies, Jan flips them all off and gives them one word of information: “Millennium.”
After that, Integra tasks Walter with destroying the remaining Hellsing ghouls, until Sir Irons, one of the Twelve reminds Integra that this is the duty of a commander. As Hellsing’s C.O., it’s her responsibility, so she agrees and starts shooting the ghouls in the head.
Meanwhile, Jan’s mysterious overseers talk amongst themselves, and their leader calls for them to resume their “research”. As devastating as this attack on Hellsing was, for Millennium, this was merely a test.
#2021hellsingliveblog#hellsing#alucard#seras victoria#walter c dornez#sir integra hellsing#luke valentine#jan valentine#i guess i should have said more about the valentine brothers as characters#they're all right but they don't stick around long enough to make much of an impression#i mean everyone loves jan because of his foul mouth but what else can i add to that?
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Head ‘Pats’ | EgoBang Fic
Request : “This might be a bit too smutty, but I gotta ask: Arin jokingly ruffling Dan's hair, them both then getting really into it (some hair pulling goodness 😍) and Dan blowing Arin in the end.” - made by @alex-trefying
Type : Smut/Steamy
Pairing : EgoBang
A/N : Okay so I’m sorry for not writing anything in nearly a week. I had a small writers block. But here, have this. 😳
The two guys were in the middle of a particularly difficult level of a game, one that Arin had been trying to tackle but eventually gave up when his temper got the best of him. The controller would be bestowed upon Dan who took on the challenge of the hard level himself. Admittedly, the damn thing was hard. Enemies came hurdling towards the sprite left and right, the controls were kinda sucky and there was a certain type of thing you were meant to do (which of course they didn’t realize until the end). Dan nearly laughed out in excitement when he deafeates the level, a wide grin of triumph on his face.
Arin, although happy for him, was baffled on how Dan could beat the game quicker than he did. He was astounded. “Holy shit.” He muttered.
“That’s right! Eat my shit!” Dan exclaimed with a laugh before realizing how loud he was. He lowered his voice and smiled sheepishly. “My bad.”
A burly laugh buckled from Arin at Dan’s victory words. “I’ll tell you what. Instead of eating your shit, I’ll give you a lil’ head pat or something.” He suggested. “How does that sound?”
“Fine, I guess it’ll do.” Dan gave a pout, his voice fauxed an exaggerated defeat.
Arin snorted. He reached out and before Dan knew it, he felt the warmth of Arin’s hand on his head. The softness and comfort of it was actually really amazing. It felt comforting, reassuring. He didn’t realize the gentle happy smile that he was wearing right then.
Instead of the pat being just what it was, a pat, Arin suddenly playfully ruffled Dan’s hair, his head of curls bouncing and tousling about. “Ar!– the actual hell are you doing—“ The sudden twist of pace caused him to bellow a soft stream of laughs, which died down momentarily. He couldn’t lie to himself, it honestly felt good. It sent a wave of tingles that traveled through his body and traced his neck.
Eventually, it returned back to gentle tousling again. It almost was massaging in a way. A way that caused Dan to lean into Arin’s gently working fingers. Arin continued, an amused look on his face. “Wow, man. You really seem to be enjoying this.” As he looked over at the man he was pretty much petting, he couldn’t help but find it absolutely adorable. Dan was literally like an attention starved puppy and Arin couldn’t get enough of it. He could even hear satisfied humming if he wasn’t mistaken.
Suddenly, the right gentle tug brought the broken gasp out of him, which caused Arin’s hand to flinch to a halt and Dan to quickly slap a hand over his mouth. Shit. He didn’t make that noise, right? Surely not.
After a brief silence, Arin softly asked. “..The hell was that?”
Dan, now embarrassed, shook his head. “Nothing.” He said dismissively.
Without a clear warning, Arin’s fingers suddenly ran down his hair again. Dan’s body reacted to the touch with a slight jolt, as if Arin’s touch was electricity that brought him to life. Arin noticed this and a bit of a grin moved on his face.
“What?” Dan asked, eyeing Arin. “What’s that face anyway?” He knew that face. It was Arin’s experimental face, something that told Dan that he was up to no good.
“Nothing.” Arin said innocently, a half smirk curled his lips. “I didn’t realize you were that sensitive on your head of all places.”
His heart quickly beat in his chest and his brows furrowed. “I am not sensi- fUCK!” His denial was pulled to a screeching halt when Arin’s fingers had curled around a ball of curls and gently tugged, which were guaranteed to bring more unholy noises out of him.
Dan gazed back at a smirking Arin through his half lidded lashes with eyes that were glazed with heat.
“Arin..” A soft whine left Dan and Arin sighed in response.
“I’ll stop.” He replied, his fingers now left the curls along with his warmth.
Quickly Dan shook his head. “That’s..not what I meant, I..” He looked down for a brief moment before his eyes flickered back to Arin.
“What was that?” asked Arin, who had a grin on his face while still pretending to not be able to hear in this one instance. “Dude, I can’t hear you so you may wanna speak up.”
Brows furrowed and lips pursed, a red glow tinted Dan’s face. God, did Arin seriously have to tease him like that right now? He took a deep breath, “I said that I didn’t want you to stop. I..you just surprised me, that’s all.”
“Are you asking me to keep going?” The question left Arin’s lips and the heat rushed quickly to his ears and neck. Dan could only muster a faint nod, which Arin wouldn’t take as an answer.
“Dan.” Arin’s voice was stern yet soft, felt like hell on his ears. Damn near felt like he was being invaded. “Do you want me to keep going or not?”
Dan wasn’t looking but he felt the invisible heat of the weight of Arin’s arm and hand that lingered right above his head, sending sharp tingles to poke at his every nook. “Yes.” He finally answered in a brave breath. “I want you to keep going.”
Finally satisfied, Arin grinned. “That’s what I like to hear.”
The anticipation waved over him as Arin’s hand met his head again. His fingers went to gently massage the curls. Dan could feel exactly how careful he was being, knowing how thick his hair was anything could get easily tangled in a second. The tousling began to relax him again. Arin didn’t let Dan get used to that feeling quick enough, as a light tug at the right spot brought a gasp out of Dan’s loose lips. The tugs and grip became much more frequent and even formed a pattern. Massaging followed by two tugs, repeat.
Arin’s other hand found Dan’s chin and tilted his frame upward so he could see the soft mess he created. Needless to say, he was proud. His lover was an adorable
“Kiss me.” Dan’s breathless command was something that Arin followed nearly instantly with his lips crashing into Dan’s. One strong arm held him close while the other gripped firmly at his hair. Arin could feel the vibration between their lips from the effect of that firm hold on his hair, which only made his hunger boil and bubble in his chest.
Their lips danced together, seemingly melting together. The grunts and groans from both of them left each other effortlessly. In the state of pure bliss, Dan felt as if he was nearly about to pass out. The kiss broke when he realized he needed air. The cool breeze of the air around them bussled in, taking the place of the cloudy heat that was once there.
Both of them panted, the lips parted slightly as they regained what little composure they still had. Dan peered up to Arin, whose eyes were clouded with a thick heat. His eyes then trailed downward where he found the growing tent in his pants. It wasn’t unlike Arin to quickly grow hard from just kissing, especially when they got heated like this.
“Get on your knees.” The order came thickly and nearly caught Dan by surprise. His grip tightened on Dan’s hair once more, earning him a cooperative meek sound. Like he was told, he knelt down on his knees in front of Arin, who laid back on the couch still. Arin spread his legs apart more, “Be a good boy and unzip me, Danny.”
Just the name calling was enough to make his stomach churn. He nodded and unbuttoned the pants, pushing the fabric of the boxers past the erected mass. Upon being revealed, Arin’s needy member twitched before him. Dan could easily tell how stiff and pent up Arin was. He was more than glad to get him off. Arin’s fingers again twisted in his hair, his heated eyes bared back down at him.
He was more eager than ever before now and wasted no time taking Arin’s xoxo in his mouth. A deep groan left the deepest of places from Arin, who dug his fingers into Dan’s hair. The force of his hand was bringing Dan downward more so and, with a warm palm resting on Arin’s thigh, he began to slowly bob his head.
His lips stayed wrapped around the erection, eyes shut while he pleased his lover with his tongue that circled around in the right spots. Each time the wet warmth of his tongue graced the right spots, he was rewarded by silent pants, hip thrusts and the occasional tug at his hair that only encouraged him further. It wasn’t until Dan took it upon himself to bring the thick member deep in his throat, firmly and slowly sucking, that Arin was about to lose his mind.
Arin’s grip turned rough then as he held Dan in place while the slow thrusts turned to quick ones, resulting in Dan moaning and picking up his own pace. Eventually, they found themselves lost in their own lusts and love for each other in the heated embrace that furthered them over the edge. With a few rough more thrusts and one last firm suck. Arin’s legs trembled, his seed now trickling down Dan’s throat.
After a moment, the both of them took a minute to gather themselves. It was only then that when Dan’s mouth was away from Arin’s member and Arin was resting on the couch that they realized how heated and sweaty they were.
“Holy shit,” Arin panted out, regaining his breath. “Dan, are you okay? Did I go too hard on you?” He raised up to check on Dan. Of course, the last thing he wanted was to hurt or push his lover over the edge.
Breathlessly panting, Dan caught his breath. “I’m fine. Are you?”
Arin smiled, shaking his head softly at the way Dan’s hair looked. It was a frizzy mess, no thanks to a certain someone. “Yeah, I’m great.” He chuckled.
Dan cocked a brow, “What? What are you laughing at?”
Arin laughed more. “I’m not laughing. I just thought you looked kinda cute, yknow, for a guy who was practically eating my cock a few minutes ago-“
With a wheeze, Dan shoved Arin playfully, causing them both to laugh. “Oh, fuck off dude!”
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Animaniacs: King Yakko Review (Comission by BlahDiddy)
Hello my beautiful technicolor rainbow! It’s time for Animaniacs, and while there is no balonga in my slacks there is one last christmas review for my friend to finish up, and after two visits to Acme Lab for the spinoff we’re finishing up with a look at Animaniacs proper.
Suprisingly for a show that stands so easily on it’s own it’s existance is entirely thanks to another show: Tiny Toon Adventures, which had largely the same staff, including ep and co-creator stephen speilberg and Todd Ruegger, who was brought aboard from A Pup Named Scooby Doo. Since TIny Toon was a colossal hit with tons of awards and merch, including some very good video games I wish Warner would find a way to re-release, I mean.. come on if disney can rerelease the disney afternoon games (If...not..for..switch), and LIon King and Aladdin games (If somehow FOR switch), then Warner, which has it’s own game stuido no less, can put together a collection of the good Tiny Toons games when the new show comes out soon.
Point is it was a mass sucess and Warner Bros likes money, so they had Speilberg try to get Rutger to come up with another show for the two of them to do, something with name value. Rutger found his inpsiration when seeing the iconic warner water tower and taking some platypus characters, came up with our heroes and the rest is history.. well okay he retooled them from plataups’ to early looney tunes and other toons style characters minus the racisim of say bosko the tall ink kid but still, the rest after that is history. And the rest of this review is after the cut
The show was, and KINDA still is, a variety show: taking a page from looney tunes, as well as tex avery’s other work, the crew decided rather than just focus on the warners, to instead create a whole cast with various ensembles to work with so we got Pinky and the Brain, The Goodfeathers, Rita and Runt, the Hip HIppos, Katie Kaboom, Chicken Boo, and my personal faviorite Slappy Squirrel.. and the bane of my existance, Buttons and Mindy.. or rather Mindy’s Mom. The kid did nothing wrong.
So naturally the first thing Animaniacs related I cover.. is an episode entirely breaking from format for one 20 something minute Warners cartoon. I do intend to do more animanics stuff in the future, so i’ll hopefully get a chance to talk about everyone, I just feel unlike with say house of mouse most people reading this probably know who they all are, and I can save any deep dives for if I cover the characters specifically. Spoilers: there’s probably never going to be a buttons and mindy deep dive unless someone tourtues me by paying for it.
So with that out of the way, we can dive into the episode.. which I won’t be covering in my usual recap it point by point because the writers have freely admitted that’s not what Animaniacs is about. While some of i’ts SEGMENTS are more story based like Pinky and the Brain, Goodfeathers and Rita and Runt, most are just based on simple set ups to reams and reams of gags. And I love it. I grew up with this stuff not just Tiny Tunes and Animaniacs but the classic Looney Tunes, Tom and Jerry and Droopy shorts.
Their well timed, well executed feats of comedy and most have aged pretty well.. emphasis on MOST. I’m keenly aware why there are several gaps in the shorts for both Tom and Jerry and The Looney Tunes on HBO Max, including all of the Pepe LePew and Speedy Gonzalez shorts. Also all of Droopy is missing.
My grumblin aside though, it is VERY NICE to have all the classic Warner and Tom and Jerry shorts at my fingertips and it was one of the biggest selling points of Max for me. Last year I gained an intrest in the old disney theatrical shorts, hence my various birthday specials, so I BADLY wanted to revisit the theatrical shorts I grew up with. And honestly.. Max is the best way to do that: their in crisp hd, in neat season collections (Though the Looney Tunes one is better sorted, tom and jerry’s seasons are just.. random smatterings of shorts across various eras), and most importantly EVERY SHORT they felt comfortable with putting up there is on there. Every. Single. One.
I make a big deal about this because Disney.. has only maybe 30-40 of their hundreds of shorts on there. Now lucky for me the vast majority are still on youtube and I get why some really arne’t suitable.. we probably don’t need the donald duck short where he prepares to shoot a penguin in the face or the Goofy short where his own reflection, the goofy equilvent of tyler durden I guess?, keeps saying “Hey Fat” to him. And yes BOTH of these actually happened. But.. there’s MANY shorts with no clear excuse why their absent like the triplets first apperance, gus’ only apperance, and one a friend told me about.. that time mickey built a robot to box a gorillia. Again not making this up, just wondering why you can’t restore the rest of these for plus. They’ve ADDED shorts ocasionally, but it still dosen’t make a whole lot of sense to just.. not have them all up there. and to not put them in some sorta collection for easier consumption but hey it’s Disney. They either full ass things or half ass it. There is no middle ground. Point is Warner.. actually cares about their heritage in shorts and honors it and thus has everything avaliable in the best quality, so tha’ts nice.
My point after that detour is I really love this kind of humor, and now as an adult I can see the effort the timing, pacing and character chemistry these shorts had takes. And Rugger and co.. they got it. They got it down perfect. And this episode is a great show of that and just how they barely updated this format for the 90′s. But as I said it’s more about the jokes and basic setup, our heroes are slotted into x scenario and just left to run wild. It’s been the basic seutp for looney tunes, tom and jerry and all the gag based greats, and it works perfectly here. Sure there’s some setting and continuity with the warner lot, scratch n sniff, ralph, plotz and in the reboot Rita, but it’s mostly just our heroes go up against “X asshole” and it just works.
And that’s.. entirley what this episode is. The short is an homage to the graucho marx film Duck Soup, which given the warners were based on the marx brothers that isn’t a huge suprise, a film like brian’s song I have not seen, but genuinely want to. The basic setup is the same: An underqualified womanizer, though since htis is Yakko it dosen’t get past hitting on his chancelor, played by hello nurse, constantly, which is still.. ewwwww... but clearly not the same thing, becomes king of a small nation and ends up at war with another country. There were spies and other stuff in the original short but that was left out to streamline things.
But this homage stands on it’s own fine: The basic plot is this: Yakko, due to being a distant relative and the last one alive, becomes king of the small happy and very musical, as the wonderful opening number shows, country of Anvilania, which makes anvils and why yes there is one MASSIVE anvil gag as a result at the end. Yakko says he’ll try his best and geninely tries to with the shenanigans you’d expect, including Dot not gettnig Polka Dot’s are a thing and instead taknig any mention of it as a sign to polka, Yakko again hitting on his colleague and wanting ot get a new anthem because the current one by “Perry Coma’ puts people to sleep. Honeslty that gag didn’t do it for me: Partly because I genuinely know next to nothing about Como and he’s far past my generation.. and because despite this, SCTV did a MUCH better Perry Como gag over a decade before this episode that while still left me baffled as to why anyone cared about mocking him, was 80 times funnier and felt far less like you needed to know who he was to be funny.
youtube
That being said it’s one of only three running gags, and jokes period that didn’t land for me. The other ones being the hello nurse bits, because it’s aged really badly to have Yakko harass one of his employees and his age is hte only thing that keeps it from scuttling the episode as he’s just 13 or 14. Maybe 15.
So SO glad I now have that on hand whenever i need it. The other being the “Your highness” joke as it just.. dosen’t make much sense and isn’t very funny. But that’s it: a refrence i specfically don’t get and I doubt most of you will, and if you do fine we all have our frames of refrences, a joke that’s dated very poorly, and one that just.. didn’t land. And even then the Perry Coma thing’s third use to knock out the opposing army DID work for me as did the VERY clever joke of “Sire” “Maybe later”, so even the weaker bits still had some legs.
But getting back to what little plot there is the king of the rival country, upon hearing this, assumes he can easily intimidate a child into giving him the throne and goes to a royal reception. Instead, as you’d expect, the Warners mistake him for a party clown, show him no respect and fail to take his delcration of war seriously, and while in a REALLY great gag, and the reason i’m not doing a strict summary is 90% of the review would be me saying something to that effect, Yakkos’ call to action for his troops ends up having them all run off in fear, the Warners take out the army as noted above and then in one of the most GLORIOUS climaxes in the series history...
In which the Warners give the bad guy “all the anvils” as he requested. I sadly coulnd’t find a clip of it but seek it out if you got hulu, my words can’t do it justice as they hit him with anvil after anvil in increasingly clever and insane ways till the guy finally gives up and it .. is glorious.
Other highlights not already mentioned include: The opening song, the bad guy dictator from the other nation not being able to hear because of his helmet and his attendee having to lift it, leading to Yakko taking off his helmet just to end the “what’ running gag, Yakko’s bit explaning his distant relation and more.
So yeah not a ton to say on this one. It’s a very good, very funny episode but also very typical of a warner cartoon in structure, just stretched over 22 or so minutes. As I said with few exceptions the jokes work, the anmation is crisp as always, and the climax is one of the series best. A crisp, quick watch and a nice quick review after a week of with some really tough ones behind me and ahead of me and a month of rather large ones a few weeks out. So yeah if you like animaniacs, even ifyou’ve seen this one worth a watch, if you have any more animaniacs you’d like me to take a look at feel free to comment or comission and until the next rainbow..
#animaniacs#yakko warner#dot warner#wakko warner#anvilania#hello nurse#king yakko#duck soup#goodnight everybody#hulu#warner bros#kids wb
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Rizumo:To be Saved
This is based on a Mafia!AU I have in works in my head. There's a story behind it, but here's a tease on the idea. Maybe someday will make a multi-chapter fic for it after The Devil's Bed :3.
Prompt: "I'm not mad at you for saving my life. I'm mad at you for making me care about yours." which was given to me from the AoEX Writer Discord. Since it is such a Rizumo line.
To be Saved
Izumo paced back and forth outside the door, her crimson dress doing little to cover the blood that was stained against it. It was even splattered across her face and the bare opening between her breasts. It all had happened so fast, the gunshots clear inside her head—to think it was meant to be her behind those doors. He acted without hesitating, shielding her immediately after the first shot had been missed. It shouldn’t have been lethal for someone like him, but silver bullets were nothing to take lightly for their kind.
Rin, her bodyguard, was only doing his job. The job Mephisto had strictly reminded him to keep no matter what. She was his biggest star, becoming very protective of her value. A vixen destined to sing amongst the masses of hell as they threw roses and money inside the club by each performance she made. And him? A bastard worth little to even compare—even when his father was Rinka himself.
Even so, what right did he have to think his life was any less than hers?
She didn’t realize how much she was trembling until Yukio had opened the door, nearly startling her.
“How is he?” she asked quicker than she intended.
Yukio grimaced at her reaction. “He’s fine. I took out the bullets and treated any traces of poison in his system. He’ll survive,” he answered callously.
She frowned at his response, not quite believing how dismissive he was towards his own brother’s wellbeing. Even if they were twins and Yukio was considered human, she would have thought he'd at least be a little concerned.
“If I were you, I would clean yourself up before going in to see him,” he said, picking up his briefcase.
Suddenly feeling indecent by how she looked, Izumo crossed her arms over her chest. It did little to cover Rin’s blood though, the stench of it filling the hallway.
“Let me know if anything changes in his condition, but he’s stable for the most part.” He bowed, signifying his leave. “Have a goodnight.”
She only nodded, appreciating his words. He walked out towards the main entrance, leaving her alone in silence.
Izumo stared at the door across from her, wanting to just rush in to see him. She heeded to Yukio’s words though, deciding to detour herself to her room instead to wash up. Thankfully, Tsukumo was asleep in her room, having missed all the ruckus. Izumo ignored the glamorous decor of her room when entering it, ignoring all the gifts and love notes sprawled across her dresser. She undressed along the way to her bathroom, discarding each piece of clothing across the floor with each step she took.
The shower was longer than she anticipated, the blood already becoming dry. She scrubbed aggressively, trying her best to clear off any remains of it. Her skin became red from the scorching water, ignoring the sting. Izumo leaned her head into the tile wall, trying her best to collect herself. Tears threatened to fall, but she pushed them back.
“Don’t you dare cry now,” she said to herself, gritting her teeth from the frustrating weight inside her chest. “He’s going to be okay, he’s alive. Nothing to lose your head over. He did his job, nothing more to it than that.”
However, the reassurance to herself was fleeting, bracing her fists against the wall with a hard thud. “Fucking idiot!” she seethed, allowing the water to wash over her for a mild moment of peace.
Once she was done, Izumo threw on her nightgown, leaving her hair wet and matted against her face. She had little patience in drying it right now, her back completely drenched. She took careful steps back to the room Rin was in, trying to gather her composure. She was the vixen of the 2nd district of Gehenna—there was no way she was going to let something like this unhinge her.
When she opened the door to his room though and saw his bandaged chest she nearly wanted to lose it. Blood had already soaked through the once white and satin fabric, his face glistening with sweat. His eyes were closed, but there were traces of pain behind them. Izumo closed the door, hesitating the urge to rush over to him and embrace him.
Despite what Yukio had told her, he didn’t seem well at all!
The click of the door caught his attention, causing him to open his eyes and look over at her. “Izumo…?” he hoarsely spoke, managing to break out a grin. “You’re okay….I’m so relieved.”
She glared at him—how could he even think to smile over a situation like this!?
He tried to sit up, causing her to move quickly to his side. “Idiot! Don’t move!” she scolded harshly, forcing him to lay back down.
He waved her off. “I’m fine, seriously.” He hissed loudly from the sudden jolt of pain in his chest, choking back his words.
She shook her head, sighing with disapproval. “Your wounds say otherwise.”
“I’ll be healed up by tomorrow morning, it’s not a big deal,” he said, clutching his side.
“Rin, just shut up and relax, would you?” she harshly reprimanded him. “You need to stop thinking you Mr.Invincible just because you have Satan’s blood in your veins.”
He pouted at her words, deciding to settle back into the cushions. It was all he needed was her lecturing right now. Besides, if it was her who had gotten shot, he never would have forgiven himself.
“Better me than you,” he conveyed softly. “Even if with your own demon blood, you wouldn’t have been able to sustain all those bullets.”
“Are you saying I’m weak?” she snapped, bracing a hand to her hip.
“No!” he quickly retorted, “Only that I could survive something like this probably far better than you.”
“It’s not like I need your protection or your insight of what I can take or not!” Her emotions were nearly tipping over now, his words setting her off.
He winced at her sudden aggression, retaliating with his own temper. “I’m your bodyguard! That’s sort of my job!”
She gritted her teeth, lacking a clever retort.
“I don’t know why you’re so mad anyway…I saved your life, isn’t that the important part to take away from here? Most people would be grateful for stuff like that,” he said, sending her over the edge.
Izumo was instantly triggered. "I'm not mad at you for saving my life! I'm mad at you for making me care about yours!”
Rin froze from her sudden confession, soon becoming baffled. “Wait…what?” he asked with pure confusion, his mouth gaping open.
Her face was completely red, feeling embarrassed by her sudden emotional outburst.
“You heard me,” she said firmly, finding it futile to even alter what she meant. “You can’t just do what you want without my consent, especially regarding your life! So the next time you think about risking your life for me, you better hope you die, because you’ll be facing far worst consequences. So, tell me, do you really want to face that?”
Rin blushed lightly from her claim, not knowing how to respond.
He soon gave a short chortle, as he couldn’t help but be amused. “That’s quite unfair and selfish of you, don’t you think?” he inquired, giving her that look that always somehow made her melt.
“Tough, leave your complaints to Mephisto then,” she quipped with a huff.
“I’ll be sure to do that.” He laughed.
She then flinched when his hand met hers, giving it a gentle squeeze. Izumo bit her lip, blushing tremendously as he stroke her palm almost too lovingly. Normally, she would retreat from such action, but something deep inside her relished it. His hand was so warm, never realizing how much she yearned to touch him until now—to know he was alive.
Before long, he carefully scooted across the bed, offering a space for her. “Do you mind keeping me company for a while?” he asked innocently.
There was unspoken hesitation on her part, but she complied either way for her own sake. She slipped in and rested her head into the crook of his shoulder, making sure not to agitate any of his wounds. Rin secured his arm around her, feeling the effects of the pain killers begin to kick in. He was too numb to care about her hair being wet and too relieved that she agreed to stay with him. Exhaustion took Izumo instantly, making her realize how long the night really was. She soon drifted into slumber, allowing him to cradle her slender body into him.
As for Rin, he kept his slightly open, knowing full well, if it were ever between him and his mistress’s life, there would be no competition.
End
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tejoxys
I finally saw the Endgame spoilers clip
*rubbing my grubby little hands together bc I love a good roast*
Welp, if it’s a roast you want, a roast you shall receive!
(Note: I think I spoke vaguely enough about everything big in the Clips below NOT to warrant an outright Spoilers tag, so I’m leaving it with just an Endgame Leaks tag and a ‘Read More’ line. Message me if you’ve a.) seen the Clips/gone scrolling for more info in the Spoilers tag and b.) think it’s more spoilery than I try to vague it to be, and I’ll tag it post haste)
Christ Almighty, the Clips just make everything look like an enormous MESS.
Thor looks just... awful. In every scene. LITERALLY EVERY SCENE HE’S IN IN THESE SPOILERIFIC CLIPS, HE LOOKS TERRIBLE. There isn’t a single one where he doesn’t look like a mess. Everyone else gets a glow-up (new hair, tattoos, freshly shaved) and looks put together in general (which is admittedly baffling - really, EVERYONE looks good in the face of mass genocide and failure to stop it from occurring?) but Thor decided to whip out his Big Lebowski cosplay at their big ‘save the world’ get-together... why??? (seriously Thor, was a shower too much to ask for?)
Now, if we’d had ANY inclination that anyone else looked rough aside from Tony and Nebula a la the stuck-in-space teaser trailers we saw originally, that would be one thing. Everyone there lost a loved one, everyone there has probably had to come to terms with the fact that they FAILED TO STOP THANOS when they were all right freakin’ there! NO ONE SHOULD LOOK 100% OKAY HERE. Show me dishevelment, poor coping mechanisms, show them having to struggle for weeks (maybe even MONTHS) after the events.
But nope! They are ALL in perfect health according to the trailers we’ve seen before. Even Tony, after nearly dying in space multiple times, just takes a bath and appears to be in fine health after getting back (with some bags under the eyes). Everyone’s perfectly fine, except for Thor (and maaaaaybe Hawkeye, who looks to have gone full-on Frank Miller Batman in his quest for vengeance, but still had time to get a mullet and some sweet sleeve tats in between!).
Nice.
This is a MASSIVE problem with the MCU as a whole, and has been for a while: their repeated attempts to gloss over and sweep consequences of mental trauma and illness away under the rug until it suits them for plot convenience or for comedy. You see this in the Thor sequels a LOT (Selvig being institutionalized for comedy after being possessed, Loki being kept in literal solitary confinement for roughly 2 years, Valkyrie’s PTSD and alcoholism played for laughs, mocking Loki’s suicide attempt from Thor 1 and the actual death he survived in Thor 2, ALL of Odin’s outright dickishness as a parent a la narcissistic parenting, Hela being imprisoned in isolation for literal CENTURIES), as well as anything to do with Tony Stark and his thought process (everything he does is pretty much as a result of the trauma he endures, and everyone in the Avengers just??? doesn’t recognize it??? and attacks him for it without going ‘hey, maybe he’s got PTSD’ or something???? what the hell, man). GOTG does a MUCH better job of it with Rocket and Nebula, but Mantis is left woefully unrealized (thought they do touch upon it briefly, and handle it with relative seriousness).
Either way, Thor concerns me a LOT, because he is the king of a very small group of Asgardian refugees (and given the scene that shows in the Clips, as well as the appearance of another Thor character later on, we KNOW there were multiple survivors), trying to find a new life on Midgard in the face of not one, not two, but THREE fcuking tragedies - the destruction of Asgard, Thanos’ attack on their ship, and the Snap. Why is he the way he is, in the location he’s in (which actually appears to be the apartment from Team Thor’s mockumentary)? He is the only semblance of leadership left for these people who have lost everything and he’s Like That. Where is a Thor stressed and fretting over being fully responsible for once in his life over the lives of his people, over what little remains of his kingdom? Where is a Thor struggling with guilt as he tries to build a new life for his people, struggling with rule and politics and trade? WHERE IS HE??? Bc right now, all I see is Chris Hemsworth auditioning for the remake of The Big Lebowski, having wandered onto the Avengers set instead of his audition location by mistake -_-
The scenes with Steve leave me absolutely baffled (and some of them just ooze cheese, and not in a great way), because how in the fcuk do we get to those?? His scenes feel the most disjointed here, bc they all have a similar vibe to his personality in Whedon’s Avenger movies. Kind of the ‘Boy Scout’ presentation, which is particularly odd in the aftermath of the Russo Fools’ two Cap movies and Infinity Fcuk Up, which made him more serious, less - bright? I can’t think of a good word for it rn. This is particularly highlighted in his big ‘save the world’ speech we hear - it feels kind of like an ‘okay team, time to save the world!’ speech, instead of something more serious. Is it to try to bring everyone’s hopes up? What else is missing here that we’re not seeing? Why does he feel like he’s back to this persona in light of all that’s happened? Is it to highlight how good and awesome he is in order to {SPOILER REDACTED} like we see in that final sequence? (Also, the imagery for SPOILER REDACTED, while meant to be badass and awesome, feels... kind of awkward, IMHO. Which is weird, bc I thought it would be more amazing and awesome. IDK, maybe I’m just super jaded with the MCU by now).
Carol Danvers’ scenes are actually pretty on point. She gets to be a badass in her fighting scenes and gets an awesome new look that pretty much only functions to further cement her Lesbian Status. The only way she would be more obviously a Lesbian is if her suit were in the colors of (one of) the Lesbian Pride flags and a Cyndi Lauper song was playing in the background (or maybe Joan Jett).
Hulk/Bruce Banner... I don’t even know how they’re going to swing this. Like, at all. I’m particularly baffled bc given how some of the scenes appear to be set early in the film, it resolves extremely quickly to get to that point, and after all the drama of Hulk not coming out in Infinity Fcuk Up, I just - who the fcuk knows at this point. Also, that one scene with the {SPOILER REDACTED} could be effective depending on how they set it up, but then... why exactly is he the one in the scene with the {SPOILER REDACTED} and not Carol or Thor, due to Obvious Plot Reasons?
Finally, Peter Parker. He’s adorable in his scenes, ‘nuff said.
Now, after seeing these scenes, I am left EXTREMELY CONCERNED for this movie’s tone. Granted, it was only 5 minutes of footage for a 3 hour movie. Quite clearly, there is a LOT we aren’t seeing. All the same though, it feels extremely disjointed. I know they’re trying to pull away from the dark and grim ending of Infinity War, but these clips make it all feel a little too casual, a little too ‘let’s go beat the bad guy!’ as opposed to ‘we have suffered a great failure and a great tragedy - as heroes, we MUST work to undo this for the sake of those we have lost, and everyone left alive who has lost the people they loved’. Idk, that may just be me on this one.
But you know the worst part of all of THIS? The worst part is that this is probably what we’re going to get on the release date. This isn’t a trailer Marvel released with deleted live-action scenes featuring minimal to no CGI, or sections clumsily edited over with explosion effects - this was a slew of scenes with a TON of special effects fully rendered in painstaking detail, recorded with a phone on its side in what looks like a movie theater, with foreign subtitles on the screen (I honestly don’t recognize the alphabet, but it might be Middle Eastern). That CGI is expensive and time-consuming as all hell to do, and considering how many of these scenes had it? Either they wasted a shit-ton of money on scenes they didn’t use (seriously, a number of them have Rocket in them, or Hulk - those aren’t the easiest characters to render, I would imagine), or these are in the movie, end of story.
Not to mention, TPTB clamped down on these Clips HARD - like, IMMEDIATELY - as opposed to the process behind deleting Reddit comments. The fast and heavy response from Marvel and the Russo Fools, COMPLETE WITH OFFICIAL TWEET LETTER, along with a Chris Evans tweet not to Spoil the Shit, was to chastise the ones who did (which is somewhat warranted here, given how extreme the security on leaks for Endgame have been).
This response, combined with the quality of the clips, and some of the plot threads that actually seem to be mentioned/referenced in the Lego sets, leads me to believe it’s real.
And I’m not really impressed.
On the flipside, I’m actually kind of relieved, knowing what I’m going into when I walk into the theater opening weekend. I’m not going to be completely shocked and horrified by what I see. This works well in breaking the ice, and also eases some of my anxiety on what to expect (bc I have had a LOT of it for this movie).
The downside to this is that at the end of the day, this is what 22 films ultimately amounted to. Something that feels a little too glib, a little too rushed. Something that doesn’t feel like it’s doing right by the characters who were left, and the characters we love (at least, not in full).
I understand that this is an insurmountable task - to bring to film, with limited time, a satisfying conclusion to so many characters. To arrange hundreds of people within thousands of hours on a set budget to bring this massive story, building for over ten years now, to a close that will resonate and sate with as many fans as possible. But I read fanfiction that does just that with less time, fewer moments, no budget - hell, there are 10k oneshots that rewrote Infinity Fcuk to make sense and treat the characters with the respect that they’ve earned over 20+ films.
This? Doesn’t feel like those.
I will happily admit, I am guesstimating a LOT here, based off of what essentially amounts to 3% of the movie (slightly more, depending on how long the credits are sans post-credit scenes, but still roughly 3%). There is a LOT that is missing, which could fill in these gaps successfully and make this whole post look completely pointless. If it does that, I will gleefully concede that it fooled us on this one. Maybe all of these scenes really ARE hoaxes (even if they were painstakingly subtitled in a foreign language and shown on a movie theater-size screen, but I digress).
But the framing of the scenes looks like it was meant to showcase what the movie would be as a whole, in terms of tone and what to expect. And from that, I’m not excited, or overjoyed. I’m just tired.
And I cannot WAIT for this all to be over, bc I’m fcuking exhausted just watching 5 minutes. Lord knows what 182 of them will leave me like in the end.
*peers up at massive unending ranty analysis post* ...ah. Well then. that happened again. Ah well. Hope you had fun reading my nonsense brain goop, kiddos.
#tejoxys#avengers endgame#endgame leaks#analysis#plush rants#kind of#i am so tired#long post#if anyone wants to watch the Clips#i found a tumblr link that still has the video#dm me and i'll send it your way#normally i can actually guess a movie plot pretty damn well#i laid out both httyd2 and the good place's plots out just based off of trailers right off the bat#but this time? i REAAAAAAALLY hope i'm wrong#the only good part of this is that loki hasn't popped up in the Clips#also a bad part bc i Want To Know dammit#but after seeing thor here? it's a relief like no other
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tonight on spontaneous media thoughts with a-flyleaf, some rambles on Paranoia Agent because yours truly just went and binged another old anime maybe two people and a paperclip have ever heard of!
so a few weeks ago I somehow got into the mini habit of watching videos on the side while drawing, splitting my desktop between art on one half and youtube on the other. somehow the videos of choice ended up being anime reviews, because I... I don’t know, really. :V I’ve watched like 5 anime now, this one included, and wasn’t particularly planning on adding any more to that little lineup. (keep meaning to check out cowboy beepboop but EH.) the lack of investment helps with the “wait did I just miss something” multitasking mood I guess...?
anyway it was a short-lived habit if only because I ran out of stuff that needed drawing aka Image Comic Process but I digress. Paranoia Agent first came to my attention indirectly through... something completely different! \o/
in entirely unrelated circumstances, stumbled upon this article a few days ago and the “realistic portrayal” example caught my attention. a brief comment dig later and the name was identified, and it... features a weird cartoon dog? the wikipedia premise intrigued me but it ended up on my hypothetical neverending list of stuff to check out.
I mention the review thing because, while procrastinating on everything earlier today, I found this video and it immediately caught my attention. and hey, looks like the whole dub is up on youtube, only 13 episodes so might as well!
...not that I’d. necessarily recommend the youtube dub upload. it lacks subtitles for the writing which is actually pretty damn essential.
go watch that review if you haven’t already, because it sums up the show better than I ever could and talks about what hooked me: a basis in psychology and experimental art.
AND NOW FOR MY ACTUAL THOUGHTS ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ (to be formatted in bullet points later probably, again tfw mobile) edit 11/21: done, plus some additional thoughts after reading a few reviews/analyses around the web
it practically starts with a bang via baseball bat, and imo the first four episodes are the strongest of the series. in addition to the clever toying with art style as the video describes, we’re introduced to an ensemble cast of not necessarily likable but no less complex characters, and I always appreciate it when media doesn’t seem to be hitting you over the head (harhar) with LIKE THIS PERSON DAMMIT.
while I don’t have dissociative identity disorder and thus can’t speak to accuracy in its portrayal or weirdness in the subplot’s resolution, episode four three* also had one of the first examples I’ve seen of a character with “multiple personalities” that didn’t lean on the tired but one of them... is a MURDERER schtick.
*I initially got the numbering messed up here; the episode with the character who has DID is third, not fourth.
the entire series explores the idea of fiction and reality - no, this is neither the time nor place for the Shipping Debacle(TM), moreso in how fiction is a form of escapism both destructive yet necessary in just about everyone’s lives. the experimental elements play with this well, forcing the viewer to think about why the art is changing the way it does.
until around the end of episode 4*, it’s relatively clear when we’re getting a glimpse into a character’s psyche vs seeing what’s actually going on. and then the next installment hits, and it honestly wouldn’t surprise me if a lot of people bail at this point. it’s not bad necessarily, but the line between fantasy and reality isn’t just blurred - save for a few quick cuts, said line is utterly trampled. symbolism runs rampant and it can be tricky to figure out exactly what’s Actually going on, if anything at all - more on this later.
*e: this time I actually do mean the fourth episode.
on the topic of symbolism, there’s definitely something symbolic going on with the crows/ravens (death?) and to some extent color (namely gold/yellow, green, and red) but I haven’t quite put my finger on it.
you know that thing the video says about Lil Slugger being a manifestation of mass hysteria and destructive escapism? (if you don’t, what are you waiting for >:V it’s about 10 minutes long if you skip the spoilery part.) turns out, he really truly is, and it’s not just metaphors.
spoilers ahead; I’d recommend going in blind but use your best judgment, I know I might not have been so intrigued if not for reading the entire wikipedia plot synopsis in advance. why do I keep getting into media by knowing the Big Reveals first.
on one hand, I really like Lil Slugger being both symbolic and a literal supernatural threat. what I’m much less sold on, however, is how the less explained aspects are incorporated, namely towards the end. (big spoiler warning again, last chance!)
so what exactly DID happen to Harumi with the weird clownish smile makeup? what’s all this prophetic babbling from an old dude who really likes chalk (and whose ramblings admittedly might’ve made more sense if I could actually read his stuff), and how does he know it? what’s the deal with the otaku dude and his magical talking figurines? who knows! who cares, I guess. it’s all in the name of thematic significance - or to put it ironically, ~it’s media~
I can respect that as an artistic direction but it can feel a bit stranger than necessary, and I wasn’t a huge fan of the ending. so, what, suddenly chief’s 2d dream world is an actual real place he goes to? the “darkness closing in” is an actual black blob? holy shit, I really must emphasize the otaku dude’s weird voodoo sculptures and bascially everything else about him. th... the ex-“good cop” is now a wannabe superhero?? you do have to read between the lines to an extent to really Get the characters at times, which I actually like, but imo this was pushing it.
actually even before the climactic sequence I was... less than thrilled with the wife’s monologue. for the most part the show is good about not talking down to the viewer, obligatory exposition sprinkles aside, but just in case you weren’t sure what the themes were yet, here they are ft. odd visual echoing that doesn’t seem particularly relevant to the speaker’s state of mind!
there’s a bit more thematic narm towards the finale, especially from local sidekick-turned-video game hero, but at that point I was too busy wondering what the hell was going on to be too bothered.
e: several analyses and a rewatch later, the end of Harumi’s episode seems less nonsensical. it still doesn’t quite explain when she found the time to throw on all that makeup, but as with many other aspects of the series I was left baffled by at first (up to and including weird old math man), it makes much more sense thematically. Paranoia Agent is not a show meant to be taken at face value and trying to understand it all literally is an exercise in futility - not for everyone, but if you are willing to reconsider how you’re parsing it, it’s worthwhile.
...I’m still confused by otaku dude’s figurines, though >:V
/endspoilers (for now)
DESPITE the spoiler-loaded nitpicking above, overall I found it a solid watch - and the irony of bingeing it to procrastinate on school isn’t lost on me, especially after an all-too-relatable vignette featuring a student in the throes of quadratic equations.
while it definitely includes some darker themes, up to and including an episode about three internet friends meeting up to carry out a sort of suicide pact (which again probably would’ve been clearer if the version I watched had subtitles for text), the tone never feels particularly hopeless. it deals with the self-detrimental effects of overindulging in escapism, sure, but isn’t exactly MEDIA IS BAD TECHNOLOGY IS SCARY THE NEW GENERATION SUCKS. (one character has a similar attitude but it’s based more in nostalgia than hatred of the modern.)
reality sucks but you gotta face it and own up to your fuckups, pal, sorry! but rest and respite are important, too, lest you end up like the animation monkey whose very animation becomes rougher as the sleep deprivation really kicks in.
yes, monkey. not literally but definitely in design (no sameface \o/) and arguably behavior. there were a few comedic moments throughout the show, albeit often dark and/or satirically based so YMMV on how much they actually lighten the mood. for what it’s worth, the episode with the aforementioned suicide pact was probably the overall funniest.
overall I would recommend it as a good thought-provoking series, although if you’re having trouble at the fifth episode I won’t blame you for not sticking it to the end. personally, I kept watching because A) I wanted to see just how the murderous baseball kid mystery turned out & B) the art and symbolism shenanigans up to that point, definitely including the intro, had already given me a few Ideas(TM) and I wanted to see what else was in store. worth it? sure, but don’t expect too many explanations on the supernatural parts.
okay one more spoilery detour - and it’s a VERY BIG spoiler that I am actually going to encourage you not to read if you plan on watching. seriously. (e: format isn’t a mistake, I think it works better connected in paragraphs.)
sooo after skimming the plot synopsis and watching that entire review video, I already knew the thing about Maromi being based on a dead dog and Lil Slugger being the mystery assailant. what I did not expect was even that being a lie, in a way that I won’t specify because I’ve said too much already. and while I question the use of what I’m guessing was pms of all things, I actually really liked that twist.
HOWEVER. given that it all comes back to Tsukiko, she was fucking robbed in the character arc department. I get that she’s quiet and secretive so we don’t get any real details on her past until last second, which imo was a really forced reveal (seriously what is WITH those anime girls and their magic prophetic video game), and again I do like how she pretty much has a victim complex and that basically causes everything.
what I don’t like is that we needed cop superhero dude to lay it all out for her in terms of Big Realization Moments. everything only really gets “resolved” because she finally comes to terms with & takes responsibility for her mistake, but what leads her to this action? guys yell at her for fucking up and everyone gets consumed by inexplicable black ooze? EHHHHHHH I don’t buy it.
the chief’s mini-arc with his wife, which unfortunately was more told than shown (sensibly, so we could get Slugger’s reactions to the story, but it doesn’t mean I’m happy with it), was predictable but IMO believable. I definitely don’t think every story has to have clearly-defined protagonist/antagonist characters, especially with the “antagonist” here being a man vs society type of setup, but the end sequence seemed confused on who the real “hero” was supposed to be.
Ikari got the Big Moments of realizing he couldn’t live a lie forever, of smashing his dream world. Tsukiko... gets to go back in time and hug her dog, I guess? where was her moment, however subtle, of realizing she actually doesn’t NEED this little pink dog to save and protect her from reality. if that was supposed to be conveyed when her younger self started making stuff up it... lost me, unfortunately. as far as I registered it went straight for the dog and apology.
e: and you know, after all the aforementioned reading, I’m still inclined to agree with my initial thoughts - HOWEVER. this is a show that lives, breathes, thrives on thematic significance. character development and miniature arcs happen, absolutely, but they’re not the focal point. I can appreciate the ending’s direction much more if I kick conventional thoughts on character progression to the curb.
oh, and the intro? with everyone laughing with chaotic and/or destructive backgrounds while the random mysterious old people get a fancy restaurant and the goddamn moon? guessing the latter is because ~universal themes~ or something but the formal setting after a series of Heck is a moment of fridge logic - the woman’s homeless. she’s probably no stranger to more ravaged settings.
e: oh yeah, and something else I noticed about the intro - everyone is laughing, yes, but Tsukiko’s doesn’t seem... real. everyone else (minus Lil Slugger I guess but his eyes aren’t shown) has the characteristic squint of a genuine smile, but she’s wide-eyed as ever. maybe foreshadowing how she’s the one behind all this...? hrmm.
alrighty no more spoilers For Real This Time, just some miscellaneous notes that didn’t really fit elsewhere
one side character has the same voice as my favorite character from Urasawa’s Monster so that was neat. turns out detective #2 also shares actors with Monster’s protagonist, which took me longer to catch onto but was VERY amusing once noticed.
there’s no overt fanservice, minus like one or two questionable angles that aren’t even in the spotlight. a couple episodes have some Unfortunate Closeups but they’re entirely in service of the story; you’re definitely not supposed to be comfortable with it.
WHERE ARE THE OFF CROSSOVERS.
e: actually, for various spoilery reasons, I would not be the least bit surprised if this influenced OFF to some extent. but that’s another ramble for another time.
#THIS GOT REALLY LONG but I gotta dump Media Thoughts sooner or later#’’what about psmd’’ I told myself earlier I was gonna save that for break since I think I’m nearing the endgame#and also mainly Procrastination Motivation. theoretically. look how that turned out I love irony V:#.rtf#suicide mention -#Paranoia Agent#dream island obsessional tag
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Check out New Post published on Ọmọ Oòduà
New Post has been published on http://ooduarere.com/news-from-nigeria/world-news/what-happened-1963/
What happened to the West where I was born in in 1963?
Frankly, I am awed, amazed and even embarrassed. I was born in Switzerland, lived most of my life there, I also visited most of Europe, and I lived in the USA for over 20 years. Yet in my worst nightmares I could not have imagined the West sinking as low as it does now. I mean, yes, I know about the false flags, the corruption, the colonial wars, the NATO lies, the abject subservience of East Europeans, etc. I wrote about all that many times. But imperfect as they were, and that is putting it mildly, I remember Helmut Schmidt, Maggie Thatcher, Reagan, Mitterrand, even Chirac! And I remember what the Canard Enchaîné used to be, or even the BBC. During the Cold War the West was hardly a knight in white shining armor, but still – rule of law did matter, as did at least some degree of critical thinking.
I am now deeply embarrassed for the West. And very, very afraid.
All I see today is a submissive herd lead by true, bona fide, psychopaths (in a clinical sense of the word)
And that is not the worst thing.
The worst thing is the deafening silence, the way everybody just looks away, pretends like “ain’t my business” or, worse, actually takes all this grotesque spectacle seriously. What the fuck is wrong with you people?! Have you all been turned into zombies?! WAKE UP!!!!!!!
Let me carefully measure my words here and tell you the blunt truth.
Since the Neocon coup against Trump the West is now on exactly the same course as Nazi Germany was in, roughly, the mid 1930s.
Oh sure, the ideology is different, the designated scapegoat also. But the mindset is *exactly* the same.
Same causes produce the same effects. But this time around, there are weapons on both sides which make the Dresden Holocaust looks like a minor spark.
So now we have this touching display of “western solidarity” not with UK or the British people, but with the City of London. Now ain’t that touching?!
Let me ask you this: what has been the central feature of Britain’s policies towards Europe, oh, let’s say since the Middle-Ages?
That’s right: starting wars in Europe.
And this time around you think it’s different?
Does: “the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior” somehow not apply to the UK?!
Let me also tell you this: when Napoleon and Hitler attacked Russia she was undergoing deep crises and was objectively weak (really! research it for yourself!). In both cases Russian society was deeply torn by internal contradictions and the time for attack as ideal.
Not today.
So I ask this simple question: do you really want to go to war against a fully united nuclear Russia?
You think that this is hyperbole?
Think again.
The truth is that the situation today is infinitely worse than the Cuban missile crisis. First, during the Cuban missile crisis there were rational people on both side. Today there is NOT ONE SINGLE RATIONAL PERSON LEFT IN A POSITION OF POWER IN THE USA. Not ONE! Second, during the Cuban missile crisis all the new was reporting on was the crisis, the entire planet felt like we were standing at the edge of the abyss.
Today nobody seems to be aware that we are about to go to war, possibly a thermonuclear war, where casualties will be counted in the hundreds of millions.
All because of what?
Because the people of the West have accepted, or don’t even know, that they are ruled by an ugly gang of ignorant, arrogant psychopaths.
At the very least this situation shows this:
Representative democracy does not work.
The rule of law only applies to the weak and poor.
Western values have now been reduced to a sad joke.
Capitalism needs war and a world hegemony to survive.
The AngloZionist Empire is about to collapse, the only open question is how and at what cost.
Right now they are expelling Russian diplomats en masse and they are feeling very strong and manly. Polish and Ukrainian politicians are undergoing a truly historical surge in courage and self-confidence! (hiding, as they do, behind Anglo firepower)
The truth is that this is only the tip of a much bigger iceberg. In reality, crucial expert-level consultations, which are so vitally important between nuclear superpowers, have all but stopped a long time ago. We are down to top level telephone calls. That kind of stuff happens when two sides are about to go to war. For many months now Russia and NATO have made preparations for war in Europe. And Russia is ready. NATO sure ain’t! Oh, they have the numbers and they think they are strong. The truth is that these NATO midgets have no idea of what is about to hit them, when the Russians go to war these NATO statelets won’t even understand what is happening to them. Very rapidly the real action will be left to the USA and Russia. Thus any conflict will go nuclear very fast. And, for the first time in history, the USA will be hit very, very hard, not only in Europe, the Middle-East or Asia, but also on the continental US.
I was born in a Russian military family and I studied Russian and Soviet military affairs all my life. I can absolutely promise you this, please don’t doubt it for one second: Russia will not back down and, if cornered, she will wipe out your entire civilization. The Russians really don’t want war, they fear it (as they should!) and they will do everything to avoid it. But if attacked then expect a response of absolutely devastating violence. Don’t take it from me, take it from Putin who clearly said so himself and who, at least on that issue, is supported by about 95% of the population. From the Eastern Crusades to the Nazi invasion of the Soviet Union, enough is enough, and the Russians will not take one more western attack, especially not one backed by nuclear firepower. Again, please ponder Putin’s words very, very carefully: “what need would we have a world if there is no Russia?“
All that for what? The USA and Russia have NO objective reasons to do anything but to collaborate (the Russians are absolutely baffled the fact the leaders of the USA seem to be completely oblivious to this simple fact). Okay, the City of London does have a lot of reasons to want Russia gone and silent. As Gavin Williamson, the little soy-boy in charge of UK “defense”, so elegantly put it, Russia should “go away and shut up”. Right. Let me tell you – it ain’t happening! Britannia will be turned into a heap of radioactive ashes long before Russian goes away or shuts up. That is simply a fact.
What baffles me is this: do American leaders really want to lose their country in behalf of a small nasty clique of arrogant British pompous asses who think that they still are an Empire? Did you even take a look at Boris Johnson, Theresa May and Gavin Williamson? Are you really ready to die in defense of the interest of these degenerates?!
I don’t get it and nobody in Russia does.
Yeah, I know, all they did is expel some diplomats. And the Russians will do the same. So what? But that’s missing the point!
LOOK NOT WHERE WE ARE BUT WHERE WE ARE HEADING!!
You can get 200,000 anti–gun (sigh, rolleyes) protesters in DC but NOBODY AT ALL ABOUT NUCLEAR WAR?!
What is wrong with you people?!
What happened to the West where I was born in in 1963?
My God, is this really the end of it all?
Am I the only one who sees this slow-motion train-wreck taking us all over the precipice?
If you can, please give a reason to still hope.
Right now I don’t see many.
The Saker
PS: yes, I know. The rules of the blog prohibit CAPS as this is considered shouting. Okay, but this time around I AM TRYING TO SHOUT! So, for this one time only, feel free to use caps if you want. The world badly needs some shouting right now, even virtual shouting.
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