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prestonmonterey · 2 months

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intro

!! plz dont send me chain asks !!

(pronouns page is linked on there but also here if you dont wanna look for it:)

ok so uhh basically the gist of it

im preston

uhh for names call me preston or pres or squid or orion or jaxon or actually just whatever you want i dont mind (more on my prounouns page) (if we're friends/moots feel free to gimme a nickname if ya want)

pronouns are it/he/they (the order of preference changes from time to time also neos are alright just anything other than she/her)

fandoms im most active in: varian and the seven kingdoms/tangled the series, camp here and there (will wood too!!), adamandi, the art of pleasing princes, starkid, spies are forever and percy jackson (mostly the musical bc im in a production of it :)

you can always interact with me! apparently im intimidating but i swear im really nice (i think) and id be really happy if you sent an ask at any time :3 i promise i wont get annoyed even if you think youre being annoying i just really like interacting with cool people :3

you can tag me in anything and everything! i promise ill look at it :3 and i try my best to do tag games and stuff (lmk if you dont want me to tag ya) but if i dont uhh, just assume i was like, really tired that day, or ive been tagged by another moot in that game before and im too lazy to dig it up :P sry

uhh im a minor too so like nsfw/18+ blogs dni

i try my best to use tone tags but if i forget and you need them please let me know!! (i also find tone tags helpful for myself) :3

theres more info on my card about like other stuff too

tag key:

#marble musings = original posts

#marble monologues = long posts/reblogs usually about chnt or just like existentialism idk

#marble draws = art/fanart/crafts/cosplay type thing

#marble games = i make games on google forms! hoping to learn to code or get an actual game engine to make full games past like choose your own adventures

#marble music = song covers :3 (yes i have all the filtered instrumentals i used for adamandi, lmk if you want them i can send em over discord or something)

#marble asks = answering stuff in my ask box

i think thats all of them :3 might add more eventually, and sometimes i forget to tag properly so sorry about that :(

i have some sideblogs if you wanna check em out (not super active on them but ill still try to respond if you shoot me an ask)

vent/writing sideblog: @lonelyinkcap (you can interact with my vents i dont really care. i mean. if im talkin about someone please dont fucking go like "but have you considered that theyre going through something" because uhh yes i have and also fuck you stop making my panic attacks worse :P) (if you know me irl. um. you can do whatever ig. i mean i cant exactly stop you. but proceed with caution. some of them might be vagueposts about you. im not gonna fuckin tell ya tho. also if you see anything concerning there. um. no ya dont. and definitely dont bring any of it up in conversation irl.)

hatchetfield rp sideblogs: @thelilcloverpatch @fading-angelic-starlight @marble-man @honey-sparrow @ivy-wreathed-arches and @hatchetfield-bone-thief (not sure why that one isnt properly linking but i swear its there you can search if you want)

#intro

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adhdvane · 2 years

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i just want to keep rambling about ewiyar while i continue angel halo farming bc i apparently hit the tag limit on my reblog and tags got cut off and my adhd meds kick in so i cant shut up but i’ll put under the cut

and also add tags for my own sake so i don’t have to keep looking on a different page #i did enough raids to get to like 43 and then got like 5 drops today er last night i mean still same like day like per daily reset w/e #ewiyar's beak dropped twice for me when i was farming that raid #too bad i dont really have a need for it lol #it was kinda funny to like join raids and find out everyone had fainted and be like ok ok ok i'll fuckin kill it for you guys #dont bother reviving i'll be a good guy and not leach #bc i remember when ewiyar was the scary solo quest and i couldnt do it and had to fucking farm lineage fragments #so i could get gale rocks to uncap tiamat AND THAT WAS WHEN THE TRADE COSTED 100 FRICKIN LINEAGE FRAGMENTS NOT 30 #I HAD TO FARM 300 OF THOSE FRICKING THINGS BC EWIYAR HIT LIKE A TRUCK AND WAS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO CLEAR #and then i got the devil full uncapped and lucifer fully uncapped and traded for ullikuumi to have as a mainhaind #and dicpicked siegfried (fire) #and now in the solo quest ewiyar is a punk bitch bc i double angi and we all got over 40k to 50k hp #ewiyar is both less scary and scarier in raid form #bc like raid form if sieg's special party buff it up and ewiyar isn't casting march whatere or dragon's nest i wont even guard

i wont even guard bc i have a lot of hp and the buff give armor and tbh elixirs are unlimited and i have (currently) 379, like i MIGHT AS WELL YOU KNOW ACTUALLY USE THEM FOR SOMETHING. so there’s less of a fear of dying bc i can just... revive without feelings bad. the scarier thing about the raid is that there’s like two fated chain cancels, YEAH dragon’s nest at 40% and 10% how the fuck do you cancel both of those and having to gaurd and take the hit sucks bc you can veil against the skill seal but you can’t veil against all your charge bar is going and that’s just annoying as fuck, especially if your joining a raid later and it can be harder to get that fated chain ready for the first trigger and its like OH BOY NO BUFFS OR CHARGE BAR FOR ME :) BACK TO STEP 1 (except like sieg’s buff not being able to be removed and the lumberjack buff. im not using anyone with dispel cancel bc :) too bad) and like okay, even after overdrive buff go away, i s2g ewiyar still hits like a fucking truck past 40% compared to the other dragons. so like first 60% of hp, even more of a bitch than solo quest, 40% and under, oh god i need to be a little more careful. but like anyways i just wanted to ramble into the void about how glad i am at my improvement, bc like even when it was the first time i cleared the ewiyar solo quest, after i had those upgrades, i still did it with a careful team, using illnot and anila bc illnot has crazy delay game i s2g. and ewiyar was still scary to me bc that bitch has 1 charge diamond. I was bring more heals and a revive. but the ones i’ve been doing the past couple days, i just did with regular fire set up. didn’t bother changing the skills, leaf burning, dappling, clear. just bright tien and izmir. heck, last time i even played with swapping izmir with vasaraga bc i wanted to see if i could... actually see his ougi for once... i did, one time on both of the runs. it’s just.... hard to get him low when the hp pool is high and lots of heals... drain, dappling, ullikuumi... and then that lumberjack upgrade, and then him casting his skill every time the foe special attacks. admittedly i think those first times i cleared it i didn’t have wilnas... and that summon really really does make those hit 20 times trivial when that summon hits fucking 15 times. that and actually using tien. yeah... those triggers cancels are rarely a problem. sdkfjhsdlkfsoirjsdf if bonus damage didn’t count as a separate hit i s2g a lot of v2 cancels would be AWFUL. tbh making ewiyar disguise themselves as a cat was the best thing gbf could do for the most asshole dragon quest/raid. but like also bc of ewiyar’s voice lines, like the most on brand shit.

gunna throw my goddamn laptop out the window if angel halo keeps dropping harps. RUSTED WEAPONS HATE ME rusted weapon totals (not counting sabers): daggers: 26 fully 1 one star - feower 5* 7-25-2020 spear: 8 fully 1 no star - anre 5* 3-27-2022 axe: 9 fully 1 one star - threo 5* 1-22-2022 staff: 7 fully 1 no star - fif 5* 9-12-2021 gun: 30 fully 1 no star - tien 5* 05-01-2019 melee: 4 fully 1 one star - seox transcendence 4-19-2021 & 8-10-2021 (& 8-12) bow: 16 fully - tweyen 5* 1-15-2022 katana: 11 fully 1 one star - eahta 5* 12-18-2020 harp: 13 fully 1 one star - niyon 5* 11-21-2021

the reason i have like 18 fully uncapped sabers and 7 no star sabers is bc like i think at least 4 different months i remember to trade for the 8 in stock so at least 8 of the fully uncapped are traded. seofon was 5* on 4-15-2021 if i subtracted the traded and combined the 7 no star i’d have 11 fully 1 two star. which for the date feels more reasonable. tien makes sense bc she was my first 5 star. yo feower what the fuck man. eahta was like less than 5 months behind you and you have 15 fully uncapped on him. anyways back the angel halo mines bc i have 40 more relic fragments i need to farm

#dumb text post #sammy be quiet #sammy no #sammy liveblogs about granblue

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lilakennedy · 4 years

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Hi, could you tell me in what way Sean's girlfriend has been racist? I tried to look but I can't find anything and I would love to know and educate myself. So yeah if you could point me to something, that would be nice. Hope you have a great day.

i honestly don’t know? i’ve seen stuff about it float around, i’ve seen people mention it in posts or tags, but i never really,,,looked for it?

sorry to sound dumb here, but when it comes to her i’m pretty neutral and don’t really seek out anything.

i’ve seen some of my followers mention that in tags of posts they reblog from me tho, so maybe one of them? could elaborate??

#like i KNOW thats a thing #but i really just dont care enough about her to do some digging?#i dont care about her in a positive way but also not in a negative way #so im sorry bub!!!#but i know for a fact some of my followers are more up to date with this than i am #im surprised you sent this to me tho because i never talk about her??#i dont think i ever MENTIONED her anywhwere #but its fine bub #im just as clueless as you apparently #please dont start shit about this on my blog now ok im only answering this for the lil anon here #if you know something add it in a reblog but dont come rushing to my inbox please i really cant be bothered #to talk about her #lilanons #lila asks

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cjadewyton · 5 years

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#dsijge ok so like #theres this one person i see who only ever likes art/etc #never reblogs it or anything #and thats fine on its own #but theyre complaining that people only like their own art and never reblog and im like #......... hon #like you cant EXPECT people to rb your stuff when you never do the same #also their blog isnt like a dedicated art blog they reblog shit posts n stuff so its NOT like rbing others art would ruin their theme #id be more understanding of that were the case but the HYPOCRICY #and no im not naming im only vaguing dont PM me #theyre not a bad person or anything just like.......... apparently a little daft when it comes to self observation #personal #oh i should add they dont follow me / i dont follow them #theyre just in a tag i frequent

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g3nosarchive · 3 years

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ok i genuinely think a lot of other people have this problem but stop inserting yourself when xyz issue is mentioned. when someone is telling you that a person, a celebrity, some franchise is harming their identity or anyone’s identity as a minority, or part of a certain race or religion or anything shut the fuck up and accept it.

they do not need to know your emotional attachment to said thing, your disbelief, your horror, your personal experience - we didn’t ask for all that. we know just how bad it is, cus yk it harms us maybe? we’ve already gone through the cycle of being angry and indignant and now we’re here trying to get you to understand in the hopes that as a friend you do what you’re meant to do when you became friends with us. we are not your constant ball of anger to use whenever you find something that’s “crazy, unbelievably, shockingly” once again, a hate crime, when you decide you want to feel angry and care about it.

more under the cut bc i talk too much

by doing that, you’re making an issue that you didn’t even know about suddenly yours. ask yourself, what is the purpose for telling anyone all that? to get them to sympathize with you personally so you can get a pass because you didn’t know? of course you don’t know, of course you’re unaware, that’s the whole reason why you’re being told in the first place. do not water down the issue or even try to play the ‘everything has some issue like this so there’s no point in going this far’ card. especially as a white person. the reason why you don’t know primarily is because it doesn’t affect you and it doesn’t cross your mind.

when you watch a show with a black character, you don’t care about how off the character design is or how stereotypical and borderline racist the comedy gag surrounding said character is. when you listen to your favorite white music artists or watch your favorite movie with a majority white cast, white staff, white team, and white theme, you don’t care to analyze just how outdated and stereotypical the way that token asian character is portrayed. some of y’all don’t understand and will never understand the mental struggle and awareness forever plugged into the brain of lgbt and/or poc, especially black people when we consume anything, when we go anywhere, when we meet new people, to constantly catch those micro aggressions and know what to avoid.

so when someone tells you insert classic hot mess is racist and you should stop supporting it, one of the worst things you can do beside outright rejecting it is to defend it and insinuate that we don’t know what we’re talking about, that we need 30 different sources to prove it all, that you don’t think (for example taylor swifts dream colonized africa mv) is bad. you try to say the thing or person that is actively promoting all this homophobia, racism, transmisogyny etc needs to be kindly educated, is trying their best, will learn soon enough, just wasn’t educated, will do better in the future (esp looking at u kpop stans). does their apparent regret but refusal to properly apologize actually matter? the damage has already been done.

that in itself is a privilege i could never have. i don’t even try being a fan of any major white celebrity or any kpop group because i guarantee if i search up their name with ‘racist’, ‘sexist’, ‘homophobic’, ‘transphobic’, ‘cultural appropriation’ behind it something or some image is bound to show up. you will all say “oh they haven’t done anything yet” but when it comes out that they did, they have, and they do not care about who it affects, suddenly it’s a bombshell dropped on you out of nowhere.

it’s not that hard to spot these things actually. if your fav is constantly putting themselves against people of color, saying shady shit about non cishets while being a cishet themself, saying one thing and doing another, or has been silent when their voice was expected to speak up, shouldn’t you notice? y’all will reblog all these posts but in reality only 10% are actually reading and listening and actually digesting this information for future use.

and i think the thing that pisses me off is this is all from personal experience where i’m speaking from. over the past 2 days the amount of times if i’ve heard about the “tea that dropped w meghan markle” is ridiculous and annoying. a girl texted me and i sat there and i realized that she does this on a daily basis to fuel my anger and get me to validate her own useless anger. of course i knew about it and i wasn’t surprised at all - she’s still a black woman.

almost every black blog on here, when they get big enough, deals with some sort of weird shit surrounding their blackness. if you get big on speaking about issues you are now this emotionless token ‘smart black person i can actually trust’ to use as your replacement for google. this is not to say asking questions is bad, but it is so easy to pull up some of the shit you guys ask for. some people get called slurs directly, targeted for being too black or not black enough, attacked for their features and etc and someone mentioned this before but the only people that care in those situations are other black people themselves. white people will have blm in their bio but turn the other way the minute some anon starts acting up in their mutuals’ inbox, calling them a dark1e because they felt confident enough to post some selfies. and then you get sad when we dont go to you for any kind of support?

i’ve stated sometimes that asking me questions on issues and things is okay, but one of the main reasons i say that is because whether i say it or not, i’ll be asked questions and expected to know everything and i am your personal walking encyclopedia and ofc it’s natural for me to have all this information in my head, as if i didn’t research it myself. but then i think about the numerous amounts of people that specifically say not to ask them this shit because it really does tire you out, that they don’t want to have to deal with this in any space but they still get them.

and then the ones that don’t even know themself so people will use them as an example and say “well this person didn’t know and they’re ‘marginalized identity’ so it should be fine for me too”. good god just apologize, show that you really care, change your behavior and move on. do you think it was fun being asked the statistics for george floyd’s and other black peoples death in class? that you were being inclusive and giving me a chance to show off my intelligence, to prove to others that i really had something up here and you were my greatest star eyes white friend that gave me that chance? i cant close my posts like this properly but i want you to think about that shit and actually ask yourself if you’d do that. a lot of you will read this and think “i’m not that type of racist” “i don’t have those deep seated prejudices in me” yes you do. you just haven’t been called out on it.

for all the shit ive dealt with above, if i’ve ever talked to you about this before dont come to me to apologize i do not need it and you are not the only person i’ve received this from. i guarantee you that there’s about 20 other people i’ve thought about while writing this post considering i’m a black person in the real world, so keep your guilt to yourself an deal with it

white people don’t add on to this

#important #antiblackness #george floyd #death mention #ok to rb #more than ok but #here it is 😇#ill rb this everyday if i have to

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shortscircuits · 4 years

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ok apparently u cant add a video to reblogs?? but @catfoxmandoo @ts8eggs i made a video demonstrating the possible “backwards” effect in mirrorball. i really can’t tell!!!

to me it sounds like:

- the shakers in the background are forwards, so they sound backwards in reverse

- the guitar notes are maybe backwards? so they sound forwards in reverse? but each guitar note was reverse individually ???

- or maybe none of the instruments were backwards in the first place??

unfortunately, this was the longest stretch of pure instrumentals in the song. most other parts of the song have taylor’s singing (and backwards singing is just sooo creepy so i didnt include it).

#BACKWARDS

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hugttos · 5 years

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ANOTHER callout for alex @/knfe

others here

this will mostly focus on the massive pile of lies alex has managed to spin up

lying about the whole reason we fell out anyway-

so i dumped alex’s shitty toxic ass once she vagued about me when she knew i was struggling and acted like a piece of shit about it, and then constantly made up reasons as to why it was my fault instead of just. owning up that she was a piece of shit

alex literally never said this happened until months later where its more convenient for her. i guess the fact it was supposedly her grandmas bday makes it a better sob story to buy because she literally Never mentioned this until this post so...whats the truth perhaps

this is again. supposedly. me admitting i knew it wasnt about me. the vague is this

fucking obviously ‘only good for sex’ doesn’t apply to me yet this whole vague mentions like five different things. but alex likes to ignore that and act like she ONLY mentioned being used for sex when its clearly full of umbrella statements. she completely ignores ‘only good for emotional support’ which is literally just the second sentence. this is the part i focus on because alex knew i was still grieving over a SERIOUS trauma that happened to me literally two weeks prior to this

also ‘the very next day’ now alex is lying and painting it as if i rushed her to talk about it when i had PURPOSELY waited until the next day rather than confront her about it when she was obviously still freaking out. but like. again. fuck me for trying to be a considerate friend right alex????

alex also decided to spin up the narrative that i only talked to anthony about it to drive a wedge between them which..isnt true lol.

alex was just a dick to anthony for no reason (as she states above) and apparently i ‘forced it out of her’ by like. simply asking i guess? alex was also being very shitty during this time to so obviously im gonna ask her wtf her problem is but again. alex gets a free pass apparently and im an ass for being worried. also anthony came to ME first because of what you were doing and i was actually the one who had to sort out your stupid ass disagreement despite having my own VERY fresh trauma to work through at the time. alex even said she wasn’t even considering doing anything and just leaving the relationship in tatters bc of her own dumb shit and i had to convince her NOT to do that lmao.

me going to anthony with alex being a piece of shit just to stir up drama is SUCH a fucking reach. anthony even said to me he didn’t want to be friends with someone like alex when i showed him this but they like to conveniently ignore that :)

downplaying showing a minor porn-

they only blocked the channel after i called them out on it btw. so. again. truth is only at alex’s convenience

lying about her abuse-

tim is alex’s abuser, who she sexted with despite knowing he was dating someone else and even blamed her for alex’s own shitty actions (which alex likes to say never happened but theres screenshot proof SO)

again, this is me pointing out how alex is fucking horrible to her friends but also manipulative about doing anything to make herself a victim in any situation. this post is about her abuser who alex would talk about even WHEN WE WERE STILL FRIENDS in the group chat and it was literally always negative. like me wondering what the fuck would compel her to keep hanging out with the dude despite all that makes me victim blaming i guess???? but again alex has been known to befriend her own supposed abusers before so.. go figure i guess

alex me calling you out for being abusive and having tons of proof, but you’re too fucking stupid to actually own up to shit? thats not gaslighting??

alex is the only one who’s actually gone to ppl trying to get them to side with her and i have plenty of ppl who can account to this. and alex is just. endlessly fucking dense and doesn’t understand how hypocritical it is for her to say ‘i was just making posts on my own blog!!’ when she’s been known to flip out when I do the same. even when its not even close to being about her.

and yes uhh i cant believe i have to say this but gloating about ‘healing uwuw’ while you’re abusing someone is uhh. fucking disgusting!

lying about old drama-

alex loves to claim that i was 18 during the old callouts despite having it archived and having the information right in front of her

lying about interacting with abusers (and also making it about her)-

broden is MY abuser too dumbass and (literally by your own admission) i was abused a lot worse by him so shut the fuck up?? broden forced me to do rape rps too, along with guilting me and gaslighting me AND my boyfriend for years. also no alex you unblocked him to ‘prove’ you were underage when you dated when i caught you lying saying it was pedophilic and he dated you when he was in his 20s and you were 16. i outed you that it was actually that you were 17 about to turn 18 and he was barely 19 when you started dating. then you backpedaled and said you forgot which like...having memory issues myself saying you were dating a 20 year old while you’re 16 doesnt sound like a memory thing? sounds more like lying??? also while they were dating alex was cheating on broden with tim but claims she gets a free pass for that bc they’re her abusers. and like. obviously thats not how. shit works.

lying about stalking:

alex likes to move blogs rather than just own up to her shitty behavior and then scream stalking when i out her again. which is perfectly reasonable given she’s still openly abusive.

alex if lurking and vagueing makes someone a stalker then you’re shooting yourself in the foot because you literally do this MORE than i do. and ofc this is followed by screenshots of the most irrelevant text posts including me literally just saying a theme is ugly (which HAS to be about her bc literally everything is apparently

AGAIN, alex moved bc she revived her own kiwifarms thread and acted shocked when they started writing on her text wall thing and went totally fucking rabid about how it was me (it wasnt and more on this later)

i also made it clear that yes im outing alex again for reasons i previously stated

also why does alex act like im a mastermind for finding her new url when she literally reblogged aes posts from her old blog onto her new one. its not fucking rocket science alex

when you’re an active abuser who hasn’t owned up to shit your victim has a fucking right to warn people about you and it doesnt make them a stalker alex!!!

lying about how i ‘befriend freaks’-

Literally None of the links are pornographic btw..and none of them are actually? my posts?

also yes uhh i actually have proof that gideon just dug through archives to pick out things to exaggerate and no its actually not deleted because the proof is right here!

also i should point out its really REALLY hypocritical for alex to freak out over this because i unfollowed these blogs after like. a week? and alex was friends with known pedophile gorecember and also friends with someone who posts irl gore (even posted gore herself) and necrophilia.

alex claims this along with claiming i groom minors just because a mutual of mine got an ask about me and two of her followers were positive about it.

like. ive literally never interacted with these ppl before?? just bc people are nice instead of abusive like alex doesnt mean im friends with them and it doesnt indicate some big fucking conspiracy or whatever??

lying about anons and literally anything she doesnt like-

alex will literally spin the most fucking ridiculous stories to add to her narrative but like....its really simple. that anon isnt me BECAUSE I WAS LITERALLY ASLEEP WHEN THIS HAPPENED...LMAO...

alex has one of those text wall things, and she flipped out after ppl started harassing her on it right after she revived her own dead kiwifarms thread but threw a tantrum that it was me. again. when i wasn’t even online

alex has lots. LOTS.. of weak reasoning

ok so...alex really Cannot get it into her thick fucking head that ppl can fake typing styles. also alex half of these are things YOU say more than i do? or either things that like. Everyone says.

ive OUTED alex for shit before so uhh its not actually stuff only i would know if i posted about it.

this. honestly just speaks for itself.

please distance yourselves from alex, theyre an abuser and very manipulative and constantly gaslight people, pls keep yourself safe thanks

#knfe #callout post #abuse #gaslighting #freak tag #drama #HI RB THIS!!!!! THANKIES

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punkascas · 7 years

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i want to reblog and add to this post, but i cant bc the formatting gets funky. so separate post! little bit of endverse meta i guess.

from the post:

why in 5x04 did past!Dean say to future!Dean "You mean you're gonna feed your friends into a meat grinder? Cas too?" Three episodes earlier Dean told Zachariah "I learned that from my friend Cas" so at this point he already considered Cas to be his friend. So why was he not grouped with the others when past!Dean said that? Why did past!Dean choose to separate those two for future!Dean? Is it because he knew that to future!Dean there was a difference between sacrificing his friends and sacrificing Cas? Did past!Dean pick up on the significance of their relationship during the days he spent in that timeline? Did he want future!Dean to know that he knew? Could he just read himself well enough to know that Cas was more than a friend to future!Dean? Did past!Dean already know that his feelings for his Cas were different than his feelings for his friends and knew that future!Dean felt the same?

this is how ive always read that line--that even by that point past!dean viewed cas as different from straight up FRIEND. and then observing how his future self and cas operated and relied on each other, and how cas basically served as 2IC for dean at the camp.

(which imo is HUGE ok. like endverse!dean explicitly tells past!dean that he doesn't trust him, i.e. that he doesn't trust himself, but he does trust CAS: he wants cas's feedback on his plans; he wants cas to help lead the plan. and i cant remember the question past!dean asks but in response chuck sends him to cas. bc like OBVIOUSLY that is where future!dean apparently hangs out a lot. cas is the person future!dean goes to with questions. it’s not weird or surprising at all to chuck that dean would be looking for cas.)

WHAT I AM SAYING IS, there is a deep amount of trust between endverse!dean and cas, and (at the very least) a deep deep bond of brothers-in-arms, i-have-your-back-and-you-have-mine, that goes above and beyond any other relationship dean has with anyone, past or present (present being endverse in 2014). sam is the only possible exception to this (and past!dean at that moment doesn't feel like he has that with sam, and endverse!dean obviously has not had sam around to serve that function for a while) but sam is also dean’s brother, family, the person dean has built in as the centre of his universe. having someone else who can even come close to matching that role is hella serious and important and even maybe shocking.

all of which past!dean witnesses and understands. and can see how their relationship differs from his current relationship with cas. it's this window into a view of POTENTIAL of what cas could be to dean and for dean. and i think that resonates strongly (and maybe even a little uncomfortably) with past!dean because he can relate. the ground work to that relationship has already been laid down. cas is already a person he's coming to rely on to help him and sam and bobby out when they need it. and with sam currently out of the picture in that episode and the one before it, cas (and not bobby) is the person dean goes to and calls and spends time with.

so i think past!dean absolutely knew that sacrificing cas was on a whole 'nother level and whole different emotional ballgame for him/his future self than sacrificing anyone else in the camp. sacrificing cas would be more akin to sacrificing sam and we all know how much NO NEVER that hits in dean.

(and of course i headcanon that cas was in on this plan. that the plan actually was that they were both going to die, dean in a final face-off with lucifer (and sam) and cas in a supporting role letting dean pick the hill they were going to die on. because the alternative that cas walked into that situation blind just does not make sense to me. for starters, cas is weirdly chill about cooperating what he knows (and points out to be) a bad plan. an unworkable plan. cas also knows they’re using a gun that is repudiated to kill demons but not angels. only an angel blade can kill an angel. why, if the intention really was to try to take lucifer out, would they not at least bring an angel blade for back-up? if cas even believes that lucifer can truly be killed. (like, dude, this is ENDVERSE!CAS, the happy hysterical nihilist. cas has always been a pragmatic realistic, for good or for ill, and i can’t see anyone thinking that somehow endverse!cas got any more optimistic or idealistic during the five years of fighting the apocalypse.) i just cannot believe cas would legit buy that they could actually kill lucifer with the colt.

also there’s the cut scene in the script where cas tells past!dean that when dean says it’s time to go, i.e. when dean decides that they’re done living in and fighting this unwinnable war, cas is going to follow him. because that’s just how he rolls. which to me points to the original intention being that cas and dean had this joint suicide pact for a while and set up this plan to enact that out, and past!dean just isn’t privy to that information.)

#2014casnet #punkfam #spn meta #i guess???#look at that bisexual go #bb #future!bb #endverse is my favourite #otp: personal space #spn #i also think dean has this thing about not leaving people behind #even when he's feeling suicidal he finds it easier to cope with the idea of BRINGING THE PERSON HE LOVES WITH HIM #he says so in s7 when he talks about driving both himself and sam off the cliff #so i can't see future!dean being cool with dying when it means abandoning cas to live without him #and vice versa #which explains to me why he punches past!dean out to get him out of the way #bc otherwise past!dean might interfere not understanding what the plan is #and either save cas or save his future self #while the other one dies #and that would be like THE WORST THING future!dean could imagine

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