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#oh god you don't UNDERSTAND zo you DON'T understand
braceletofteeth · 9 months
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— I thought about how you would feel, so I didn't dare say anything.
— Shutting me out like this doesn't make me feel better.
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discar · 1 month
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HZD Terraforming Base-001 Text Communications Network
Chapter 5 | Prev chapter | Next chapter Chapter Index
Aloy: Varl, Erend, you two ready to go?
Varl: Yeah, just shaving goodbye to Zo.
Erend: OH, HEY, I FOUND ANOTHER CLIP!
Erend: [FaroFails.mp9]
Aloy: Erend, are you READY?
Erend: YEAH YEAH, JUST WATCH THE CLIP!
Aloy: …
Aloy: Okay, fine, that's hilarious.
Kotallo: We would likely all find it funnier if we hadn't seen such machines rise from the ground to slaughter our friends and loved ones.
Erend: I DUNNO, I THINK THAT MIGHT MAKE IT BETTER.
Varl: I'm ready.
Aloy: Onward to ELEUTHIA, then.
----
Aloy: Zenith. Stay low, stay quiet.
Varl: Understood.
Erend: GOT IT.
Varl: All-Mother's mercy, Erend, learn how to type without speaking.
Zo: Wait, you ran into Far Zenith already? Get out of there!
Kotallo: They are in the middle of a mission, soldier. It is their duty to judge their next step, not ours.
Zo: Sigh. Fine.
Kotallo: ...there has to be a better way to convey emotions in a text.
----
Erend: SPECTERS COMING DOWN!
Aloy: We see them!
----
Varl: Coming up with an extra passenger!
Erend: WHAT? THERE'S ANOTHER SPECTER UP HERE!
Aloy: I'll deal with it! Varl, just keep her safe!
Zo: Keep who safe?
Kotallo: Did you capture a Zenith?
Erend: WHAT IN THE BROKEN PISSED-IN FORGE IS THAT?
Varl: I'd like to clarify for everyone that Erend is actually yelling now, and if he keeps doing it THIS SPECTER IS GOING TO KILL US.
Erend: SORRY, BUT
Erend: WHAT. I, JUST, WHAT.
Varl: Zo, get ready for medical treatment. She's got a wound in her head, if nothing else.
Zo: Understood. But who?
Varl: You're going to need to see this for yourself.
Aloy: Specter's down.
Varl: We're coming over.
----
Aloy: Zo, Kotallo, we talked it over. Varl and Erend are returning to base with... someone who needs help. I'll follow soon.
Kotallo: Understood, commander.
Zo: Understood. I have everything I need to heal most moderate injuries.
ADMIN [GAIA]: As long as she is not required to perform surgery, there should be no issues.
Zo: By all the songs, please never ask me to perform surgery.
ADMIN [GAIA]: Unfortunately, I cannot perform the task for you. You may have to learn.
Zo: I'll... look into it. But don't expect miracles.
ADMIN [GAIA]: I have records of many miracles my predecessor saw. Do not underestimate yourself.
Varl: Okay, we're riding.
Varl: Uh, GAIA?
ADMIN [GAIA]: Yes, Varl?
Varl: How do you define a miracle? Because I was always taught that a miracle was the direct intervention of the All-Mother. Who either doesn't exist, or is... you.
Aloy: She's not the All-Mother.
Zo: Aloy, I understand your position, but being dismissive of the beliefs of others helps no one.
Aloy: Scoff.
Aloy: We really need a better way to handle emotions in texts.
Kotallo: I am looking into something.
Varl: So, miracles? If you're the Goddess, then everything you do is a miracle. If you're not...
ADMIN [GAIA]: A miracle is an event that seems inexplicable by natural or scientific laws and is accordingly attributed to some supernatural of praeternatural cause. Various religions often attribute a phenomenon characterized as miraculous to the actions of a supernatural being, (especially) a deity, a magician, a miracle worker, a saint, or a religious leader.
Varl: Right. So a miracle is something from a god, or someone like that.
ADMIN [GAIA]: Correct. However, by the nature of the events in question, it is impossible to conclusively prove the existence of the supernatural. If sufficient proof is accrued, then it simply becomes another documented phenomenon of nature. In this way, a miracle is best summarized as an extremely unlikely, advantageous coincidence, one that statistically should not have happened, or at least not in quite such a fashion.
Erend: SO, WHAT, GOOD LUCK?
ADMIN [GAIA]: Several years ago, the second son of the Mad Sun-King, a young man who grew up with empathy and compassion despite the insanity and paranoia of his father, met a young woman with connections among some of the most powerful Oseram. Together, these two toppled a king. Was that good luck?
Erend: I KNOW IT WASN'T YOU. YOU WERE DEAD THEN.
ADMIN [GAIA]: Almost a year ago, a young woman found a door that was designed to open only for her, only for the door to fail to open because it could not identify her. And yet, she found a way to open that door anyway. Was that good luck?
Aloy: That's REALLY skipping a lot of context.
ADMIN [GAIA]: My predecessor trusted in a miracle, Varl of the Nora. There was no reasonable chance for the world to be saved; she could not even follow a chain of causality that would lead to such an event in the most unlikely of scenarios. But she trusted in a miracle anyway. And she was, in the end, correct.
Aloy: ...I'm heading back now. I'll be at the base soon after the boys arrive.
Chapter 5 | Prev chapter | Next chapter Chapter Index
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coolwali · 1 year
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Horizon Forbidden West Base Dialogue
Erend: God Damn it, Kotallo. Is there any old world board game you can't immediately learn?
Kotallo: The Tenakth were raised from birth to learn all kinds of board games. As a warrior, it is important to keep both your mind as well as your body sharp. Only then can you be ready for every situation. The old world had plenty of these board games which my people would have given anything for. But... I will admit, I am finding it hard to see the strategic value of this one. Perhaps it is to help learn to deal with unpredictability? In any case. I play a +4 card and exclaim the Battle Cry "Uno".
Erend: oh Fuck you.
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Varl: Hey Zoe, check this out.
Zo: What is this, Varl?
Varl: It appears to be the opposite of a Stalker. It is some cute furry creature.
Zo: I can see that Varl. But why is it asking "Can I has Cheezburger"? That is not how the old ones' grammar worked.
Varl: Strange. But perhaps it is an entertainment product for children? That would explain the grammer.
Zo: But why feed the children "cheezburgers"? That material isn't healthy for them.
Erend: I don't know about that. I could use some of that. It looks delicious.
Zo: Obviously an Oseram would say that.
Kotallo: For once, the Oseram is correct.
Erend: I am?
Kotallo: Such protein would aid in growing stronger to take on machines. The old world had the right idea. Have frequent outposts scattered all over the land to provide "cheezburgers" to all warriors at affordable prices.
Aloy: Not gonna lie. I kinda wish these "McDonald's" were still around. They'd probably set up outposts at every campfire. Would be helpful.
Varl: How did they move so fast and make so many outposts?
Aloy: Clearly by using the "cheezburgers"
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Aloy: Hey Alva. Got a minute
Alva: Sure Aloy.
Aloy: What are you up to?
Alva: I'm going through all this data. It's a real treasure trove. I'm just about to open this file on "twerking".
GAIA: My child. I'm sorry to interrupt. I understand you are happy to explore this newfound knowledge. But I implore you. Do not access that file.
Aloy: Why not GAIA? Is it dangerous?
GAIA: In a way, yes.
Aloy: Then we better listen.
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Aloy: Hey Erend. How goes training?
Erend: Great, Aloy. I learned some new moves.
Aloy: Oh. Like combat moves? You've been trying those old world fighting styles Kotallo found?
Erend: No. Like these moves:
*Starts Fortnite Default Dancing perfectly with the music*
Aloy: Oh. Well. That's certainly something, Erend.
Erend: You like it? Took a long time to practise that. Those Old World guys really had some serious dance moves. And this was from a Holo Game. This super popular one called "Fort Night".
Aloy: Why does this "Fort Night" have dancing? Isn't it a shooting game?
Erend: I think it was to taunt enemies. I should consider doing it next time we take down machines.
Kotallo: If you spend even half your time on Strike as you do practising taunting your enemies, you'd be able to not immediately lose at Strike.
Erend:.....
Varl: So, why is this game called "Fort Night" when it takes place during the day?
Kotallo: It appears to be a tactical game. One where the soldier must survive against 100 others for an entire day and night. That is where the "Night" part comes from. It references how you must survive for more than just a day.
Aloy: That makes sense.
Kotallo: Though, this "Default". I do not approve of his "dancing" to taunt his enemies. You should fight with honor. Not to demean.
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Erend: Hey guys. Check out these holovids I found.
Varl: "The Marvel Infinity Saga"? I remember seeing references to those around. Apparently, those are very popular.
Kotallo: Who are these "Avengers"? They look like the Ten?
Zo: I think they are stories of heroes. To inspire people.
Kotallo: Let us watch to learn their tactics.
*After watching Infinity War*
Erend: Holy. The Purple titan succeeded in his goals. I was not expecting that. I thought they'd take him down like they did that Ultron Machine.
Kotallo: It was not unexpected. It is because the Avengers were divided.
Erend: But Thanos and his army were also divided? Like Thanos was on this Titan? His army was on Wakanda?
Kotallo: No. While Thanos and his army weren't physically together. They were working together for the same goal with the same approach. They were unified in their approach. The Avengers however, were not unified. For example, This Stark's goal was to fight Thanos on his own field because "he wouldn't expect it". But did not bring much help with him. Thor's goal was to go find the hammer that could kill Thanos but did not anticipate any ways it could fail. This "Captain", was too focused on "Not trading lives" that he failed to stop his enemy. Neither of these groups even talked to each other so they couldn't make their plan together.
Erend: I think I see. So you're saying if Tony, Cap and Thor met up earlier, they could work together to stop Thanos?
Kotallo: Yes. Perhaps they could have planned an attack where instead of trying to remove Vision's stone, they use the stone to lure Thanos to a spot where Thor could have killed him. Their plan could have been to stall Thanos until Thor could get his Hammer. Even if it cost some lives along the way, that would have been preferrable to losing half of all life.
Varl: You think Thanos was onto something? Like. His people starved to death so he proposed to kill some people to save others? Kinda like Elizabet Sobeck and Zero Dawn?
Zo: Don't be ridiculous. The two situations are completely different. Sobeck did what she did because the entire planet was actually being destroyed and there was no other solution. Thanos did what he did because he was insane. Even if people were starving, he could have used the magic Stones to increase resources and food. Instead, he choose the mad option.
Erend: uh guys. Bad news. The rest of the file is corrupted.
Varl: You're kidding!
Erend: Can't play the next film, Endgame.
Kotallo: A shame. An "endgame" comes from an Old World Board game called Chess. It refers to a point where few pieces are left and sacrifices are made to win. I assume the Captain changed his mind on "trading lives"? I would have loved to see their tactics one last time.
Aloy: Wow Kotallo. You've been doing a lot of reading.
Erend: Hang on. Let me search the files. See if there's a summary on what happens in Endgame.
Varl: I guess that's better than nothing.
Kotallo: Indeed. Let us see how the Avengers fight with a destroyed but united team.
Erend: I found a post on this site called "Reddit". It says that the Avengers beat Thanos by having Ant-Man crawl ....... oh what?
Aloy: What is it Erend?
Varl: Show us?
Erend: Uh. I think we should leave it at a mystery guys.
Kotallo: I wish to learn the Avengers' tactics.
Zo: Tell us what happens Erend. Or I will beat the information out of you.
Erend: uh. Ok....... so uh. I'm sending you all the file so you can see it. I don't believe it. The Avengers defeat Thanos....by having Ant-Man....crawl into..... his anus and grow.....killing him from the inside.
Aloy:......
Varl:......
Kotallo:......
Zo:......
GAIA:......
Beta:.....
Alva:.....
Kotallo: Well, I suppose it makes sense as a tactic. It is meant to be their most desperate move. Perhaps the whole film would have been planning such a tactic? Though, I do ask, is this Ant-Man not already dead?
Varl: No. I think he's stuck in the place where he shrunk down? Perhaps the film would have been the team figuring out their options, rescuing Ant-Man and then informing him of their final plan?
Aloy: Or perhaps a rat randomly frees Ant-Man.
Kotallo: You jest Aloy. But this Endgame was the largest holofilm of its time. Surely they would do more than that and make it a good film. We are missing the full context.
GAIA: Yes. Such as how this Ant-Man would be able to expand in Thanos' rectal cavity and not himself be crushed by Thanos' strong internal lining. It seems that a better tactic would have been to use Thor's new hammer and "aim for the head" as that is Thanos' only weakness.
Kotallo: Perhaps that was the plan. Ant-Man uses Thor's hammer to kill Thanos from the inside.
Zo: Is this Ant-Man "worthy" to hold this hammer?
Erend: he seems like a chill guy so he has to be.
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wench-and-jezebel · 1 year
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Ten Inch Hero Reaction:
Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]
Such a different vibe from Devour ☠️☠️☠️☠️  [alksdjf Tis true]
“Normal people need not apply” ☠️☠️☠️ we’d fit in there  [We would indeed]
Danneeellll
Oh noooo
Sir
I wanna work here [:)) I KNOW]
[I love that the customers get to vote]  The dog.  I love it  [Yes, and the dog]
Hmmm
Ahhhhh!  Omg! He’s here!
☠️☠️☠️☠️  “Well he’s employed here”  [That line bothers me so but anyway]
🤣🤣🤣 “And now you’re hiring people who fail the interview?”
Well.  Shit.  [She’s lying, dear]
🤣🤣🤣  Poor buddy
[Zo!  I love her]
Oh, man, chat rooms  [I know!  We'd never talk long distance on an electronic device]
☠️☠️☠️☠️ His look
Idek what this movie is about and I love it
It just is so chill and nothing is happening (so far) but it’s like 😍😍  [This is the vibe throughout]
☠️☠️☠️☠️ This lady 🤣🤣🤣🤣  [I told you I loved her]
Welp. Now I’ll think of that next time I eat eggs.
☠️☠️☠️ DoorDash.  Back in the day
She ain’t even look both ways; she’s definitely a witch
Ooooo
OHHHHH WELL SHIT.  WELP SHIT.
THIS WHOLE MOVIE JUST YEETED ITSELF A DIFFERENT DIRECTION
Damn, that’s sad af
Ma’am.  You stop that.  Flirt.
Awwwww.  Well that was wholesome as helll
[Buddy is not subtle okay]  ☠️☠️☠️
Bruh this is the one I wanted to watch the most and I’m gonna struggle commenting because I’m too into it 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
They have the same sketch book 🥺🥺🥺
Oooooooh is this going where I think it is [*whistles*]  Oh nooooo tho.  Cause it’s gonna be drama first.  That’s a big no no in adopting
I WANT THAT VANNNNNN
Priestly is adorable
Oh, douchebags
☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️
Well that’s what you get you ass
Bruh.  Why am I not loving Danneel?  I wanna love Danneeel!
☠️☠️☠️☠️ Not the eye flutters!  I’m ded  [I love him]  I knowwww
Awwwwww muh heart.  I can’t take it!
Plz tell me Jen doesn’t get hurt
This kid is ADORABLE
AWWWWWW
[I love Priestly flipping the bottle, btw; watch for it]
Oooof  [Poor buddy :(]
Ngl she deserved the door in the face
Poorrrr buddyyyy
[Us if we ever met in person: "we tell each other everything-"]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️
HE IS THE COOOOLEST BOSS
POOOOR BUDDDDYYYY
[THIS SCENE]  OH I KNOW THIS SCENE  [I've made you watch it]
[Sharky boy 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣]
[The first scene that made me like Tish]  Yess!!
Oooooo that’s the face of someone who likes someone pjhhhh
Omg, buddy
Well shit it worked
That’s adorable omg
This is soooo awkward cause it’s gonna look so bad when he realizes
Also ooof; everyone putting feet in mouths
The phone cord ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ Deceased
[Poor pup looks Unhappy]  Oh poor Bam Bam
Oh the buzz ☠️☠️☠️☠️
Oh my god
[Return of Jezebel the Deed critic]  BRUH.  I GOT NO WARNING.   [I forgot alskfdj]
DANEEEL  YOUR HUSBAND IS LIKE😭👏🏼👏🏼 not him
WELP 👀 *sigh*
[Sheeeeee]
Sweetie dump his assssss
He’s getting bent over by brad anyway [ALKSDJF;LKADSJF]
[It was a demogorgon]  ☠️🤣🤣🤣
[The little girl shouting "FRAT PARTY" tho]
I love this 😭😭😭
Whooooa awkwarddddddddd
Ohhhhhhh just tell me what happens.  I can’t take it!  [About?]  When he finds out  [Wait and see :)]
☠️☠️☠️☠️ [I love him; Priestly's my beloved]
Hell, I love all of them! Even Tish is coming around
Bruh this lady is a witch
[Priestly reacting like that as if he hasn't been doing about the same with Tish tho alksdjflkadsjf]  🤣🤣🤣🤣
I WANT THIS VANNNNNN
Why would you chase a goose
[Okay, I'm warning you now that Jen kindaaaaa annoys me here, but anyway.  (Give it a few minutes.)]   Oooof ok
TISH
JEN
WOTS HAPPENING
Oh, pity party.  Oh, I see
[MA'AM YOU JUST LEFT HIM SITTING BY HIMSELF WDYM]  This is definitely not ok
But like… why are they not saying she’s not ugly 👀👀  This isn’t okay either
[And btw.  I've been in a similar position to her.  So like.  I understand.  I just don't respect it.]
I WANT THIS JOBBBBB
["I was sitting by the phone, waiting, wondering..."  BUDDY.  "There's a perfectly good reason we didn't call" NO?!?!?  THAT’S ALL THE MORE REASON TO CALL HIM AND TELL HIM NOT TO BRING IT UP OR SOMETHING?!?!?]
Ooooh get her
Bruh he speaks truth
["Why are you suddenly Fuzzy's best friend?"  Because he didn't deserve that shit, wdym]
Oooof  [BUDDYYYY]
[The voice crack tho]  OOOOOFFFF
OOOOO WHATCHUUU DOING buddy  [Priestly be meddling]
Oh my goddddd 
OH MY GOD
BRUHHH
BRUHHH BRAD
DOUCHEEEEEBAGS
OH SHIT
WEAK ASS PUNK FELL LIKE A FEATHER
OH BOY
Oh boy
Well shit
Oooooofta
Beat.  His.  Ass.
Someone please do it
Oooo- Get him
Ok?  And? 🤣
[This be go well]
GETTTTTT HIMMM
OH SHIT  YESSSS TRUCKERRRRRR
“YOU DICKLESS YUPPIE”  THAT WAS AMAZING
💕💕💕💕 Preistlyyyyyy
[Tish, ma’am.  You came onto every dude in the shop… Defy gender norms and ask Priestly first instead of making him do it.]
I’m trying to think of who Zo is.  I’ve seen her in something else.  I love her!  She’s so calming
[He has the dark half of a yin-yang tattoo, and I want her to have the other half; I think it'd be so cute]
😭😭😭😭😭 Loveeeeee.  So much loveeeeee!
☠️☠️☠️☠️ What. Are.  [These dudes did not learn the lesson] 🤣🤣🤣🤣
“Keep the lubeeee” [The look tho]
Well she gets A Julia.  Not her Julia, but she also gets a Noah.  So like… Win win
Awwwww
Oh OHHHHH
🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
Fuzzzyyyyy
[Also, the music here is from the Deckerstar prom.  It's the song he plays for her]  Oh my gawdddddddd
😭😭😭😭
Aight cmon gimme the bad ending
Priestly was like nope I’m getting credit for this
Why can’t they just kiss and let it end here
[Look at himmmm!!!  Buddy's so nervous slkdfj;laksdjf]
In her head (Danneel, not Tish), she’s like yep I’m marrying him
[Who gave him permission to be this adorable tho.  The wide-eyed curious stare thing is just ack.]
Ahhhhh
Aight so headcanon he swaps right back
But omg he rubbed his lips
I’m ded
I’m not even mad, that was adorable
[Hmph.]
Wot Is Happening??? Sweet lord.  [They’re getting married]  Nekked  [Yup]
– – – 
Endpoint Reaction:
Jezebel: That was really good!  😭😭😭😭😭  10/10  (Hah)
Wench: Glad it lived up
Jezebel: Ok I do hate he completely changed for her.  That sucks.  They should have had the scene on the beach him back like before.  Also… Boaz & Platisha  *sigh*  What names.  This was the strangest, most all-over-the-place-yet-all-connected movie I’ve ever seen! But omg no one died!  And everyone got a happy ending, minus Priestley’s style!  (RIP it was not deserved.)
Wench: Yup, ‘tis true
Jezebel: For Jen… I’m glad she got a happy ending. I think I’m even happier he called her pretty. Because I would have been like 👀👀👀☠️ had he walked in and been like… you’re a good person ☠️ And like, no, looks should not matter, but it’s like.. friendship code to lift your friends up… not agree with them *sigh* 🤣  And they didn’t agree, but they didn’t DISAGREE either
Wench: Right
Jezebel: Idk that bugged tf out of me
Wench: Makes sense.  Do we know what we're doing next?
Jezebel: Hmm…
Wench: We still have our shows to be doing, technically-
Jezebel: So we could do one of each show-  SBC
Wench: Sounds good!  Til then!
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Text
The Adventure Zone: Ethersea, Dust 2, and live shows quotes:
• Trees don't grow on trees!
• - Look at this stuff isnt it neat?
  - Yes I think that your collection is complete now.
• - What I will also give you with a nat 20 is... harmarbahbahbahbah
  - Excuse me what? I missed that last part
  - Harnarbarbarbarbar.
  - I dont see how that helps us but, thank you?
• - Zis has nothing to do wiz us!
  - Okay. Tel me why. Then you explain it.
  - Okay zo the magic coming from the zingularity, that we are going to collect, with, with this crystal, yes? Zis worm, uhh is not, by its nature, ze zingularity! Yes?
- Right but its probably got magic... all over it.
- No! No Ze water... zis water dat we are in, right? It is... it is... Okay. Zink if it like this: Imagina a glass of water. And you drop some uh, coloring into it. Some dye in it. Yes?
- Alright. Alright.
- So zen you are going to put objects into this water, yes? Zey will um, become covered in ze dye. Because it is in the water, yes? Now if zey are zings that abzorb things, if they are different colors when zey go in, ze differences between the objects will make ze dye in ze water affect zem differently. Yes? Zis is how ze Ether, in the Ethersea works.
- Riiiiight.... so he should just try talking to it-
- No! Zey worm is just zoaked in ze magic! And so
- Whys the worm here then?
- Why are- why are we here?!
- Whoa... whoa... that may be... might be even beyond my-
- No iz cause we fell into ze clam! That waz not a metaphysical question! We are here because we vell into ze clam. Listen. Listen. I know this is weird right? Giant worm! An uh, we're very small, and we're looking for the giant, ya know zing that makes things small and giant, right? But zis is not it! Zis building is not it, zose screw things are not it, ze worm is not it. Zey have all just been affected by ze same magic we are trying to find, but zat magic is not here. I have studied magic literally all my life. And zis is not it. Uh zis is like- Amber, I would not tell you how to uh punch a shark with your uh uh furious fists; Zoox, I would not tell you how to swim with the farts that come out of your feet. So I need you to trust me that I know that zis- the only thing that can happen here, is that zis worm sees us, as food like it sees zese, uh, things in ze wall, and eats us and poops us out as this white uh, tree gross stuff that comes out of its butt. Right? So...
- Ah yea that's fair.
- I love it when he's compelling.
• - Uhh it's a 6 and a 9 dude, heh heh heh
  - Oh I get it.
  - (fake laughter)
  - Yea so if it-
  - Dad um, theres uh... sex number, uhhhh I guess. Sorry its so (unintelligable) young thing for us young bucks
  - I think it was invented in like 2005
  - Yea thats pretty recent. We just came up with it. Hey dad if you try to follow up on this gag at all, I will hang up
  - (loud, real laughter)
  - This is not a "yes, and" situation
  - No no no no
- It's not a "yes and" it's a "no thanks."
- I'll just open another window, lemme see
- Im about to close all the windows on my computer, and then...
- (gasp) oh my god
- (laughter)
• The problem with being lied to and manipulated iz that now, in retrospect I can not tell what waz a good day and what seemed like a good day because zis is how you wanted me to feel. Zis is the problem that I have. It iz not that I hate chu, it iz that I do not know what iz me, and what iz you. And what is ze church, and what it is that I want. Because for so long, you and the other teachers only saw me as a vessel to be filled with your ideas, and your beliefs. And you would do anything to have me accept those. I am afraid of every other feeling because I do not know if they are yours or if they are mine, but my resentment is my own. And zis is the anger I will keep coming back to, to understand who I am. And what fuels me is knowing that I am not you. As- I do not want to be only resentment, yes? But when I see your face and the symbol, and the church, it's all that I am. Pleasure doing business with you.
• - Amber who is zis fellow over here? He seems... I dont know, important? Weird?
  - lemme think about it (out of character) do I know him?
  - Roll uhh an investigation check.
  - Kay. Sixteen.
  - Plus anything?
  - Nuh clean.
  - Um they look familiar but you can't quite put your finger on it.
  - (back in character) Well they look familiar but I cant quite put my finger on it. Ah well!
• You might be different, ah but uh different is not bad. It just means that you will have other strengths and other challenges along ze way. But I have seen you handle yourself very well in several different um, absolutely difficult and terrifying situations. And I think the only thing that is wrong with you is the same thing zat is wrong with everybody else, which is we are all just trying to understand ourselves, and understand who we are and uh what we are doing.
• - It's one of the jobs that was offered to you
  - noooo which one? Was it one of the good ones?
  - Make uhhh
  - Perception?
  - Yea perception or investigation, she just flashed it at you real quick.
  - That's uhh wow a natural 1 I dont even know if that's paper. Hey! Whats with that banana you got!
• - Well is it coloquial or is it irrelevant?
  -  It's actually pronounced the cloaca, is where hes at
• - Do you have a jacket zat I could have? Zis is unrelate-
  - They will cover your whole body
  - No its unrelated, I just needed a new jacket
  - Umm no! What are you talking about?
  - I just thought that I would ask
  - Have I ever come to your domicile and said like "hey! Selling any pants today?" That's a wild thing to do!
  - Oh I did not say selling I was hoping you would just give it to me.
  - Have I ever showed up at your domicile and said "gimme pants! Its me ya pal uncle Joshie gimme pants today!"
  - We haven't known each other this long.
  - No we haven't! Thats exactly right! We wicked have not!
• We don't want your boomerang dude
• (in deep voice) I agree, lets continue on our sacred mission
  - Oh shit, Optimus Prime is here?!
  - Autobots, transform!!
  - Sam Witwicky
  - Sam Witwicky!
  - Sam Witwicky!!
• - Sam Witwicky did you bring the robot weed?
• - You know hes kinda squiggly and uhhhh wiggly... he is an octo- holy shit.
  - What?
  - Squiggles was ze smiley face!
  - What?
  - Squiggle- Squiggles- Squiggles! Skittles! Was ze smiley face!
  - Travis is broken!
  - Squiddly diddly?!
  - Skittles? Squiggles.... was ze smiley face avatar at ze auction.
• Griffin trying out different voices for Nermal made me laugh. It doesnt really work to do in text because he does the same line multiple times in increasingly ridiculous voices.
• I could being your face down to a steak, cut it into nice strips for my brood
• - Im going to throw the uh, chance lance at the laser eye
  - Okay. You didn't say it was an eye, but I like that. Thats cool.
  - Well it is!
  - Where else is it gonna go its not a laser belly button
  - Well wait wait wait a minute! Im the one that came up with it, so I oughta say what it is.
- Yea what is it?
- It's a laser eye! Were you not listening?
• - Tell me about its smooth endoplasmic reticulum, Travis
  - It's sexy as fuck!
• Point at the face that looks like your face. For pain I mean.
• Shrets not reaaaal. Its just a naaaame.
• -  I got an 8
  - I got a rock
• You can not call it a gift if it was not asked for or offered. You imposed this on us. This is not how a gift works. And second; your understanding that strengths come from- through suffering? This is not the way. This is not an acceptable... pathway for us to move forward.
• - Thats a 10!
  - Yea... no
  - How much defense could a chain have??
  - It's not about defense-
  - He makes a good point, Griffin
  - It's not about defense! Its about you threading a chain-link with a crossbow bolt that you have tied a rope onto! There is no universe in which this-
  - Well when you say it like that, Griffin, it sounds wild!
  - Yea! It is wild! You see- Cambria laughs at you! The big worm monster laughs at you!
  - Wait a minute wait! Wait a minute. Now when you make an attack roll youre rolling again somebodys armor class, correct?
(All talking over each other now)
  - Did- you- dad-
  - Now wait, wait a minute-
  - Objection! The- the judges
  - Can we talk about this?
  - I don't wanna talk about anything else!
  - All the jury members stand up and shout objection! At the same time.
  - I don't have to win over a judge- a jury
  - And the judge is like this isn't how court works, but I agree! Ob-
  - I just have to win over you!
- Yea you're not gonna do that! Ive made my position perfectly clear. You can say you rolled a 10, what you did was you rolled a 2 plus 8. No way!
  - Alright
  - I wanna hear dad out!
  - Yea!
  - No no, let him speak
  - Okay no no! Make your impashioned armor class argument.
  - Now I'm just a simple fantasy lawyer, but my client
• stop rolling thunderclap damage!
• Herosim isn't some title that you earn for yourself and then you get to trot around. Its a thing that you do.
• If TAZ has a unifying theme, I've had a lot of thoughts about it, and if TAZ- The Tazmasphere- has a unifying theme, it is bullying people in administration positions.
• - If you have one of these, its called a map, and it will show you how to get to ze parlor, hmm?
  - Uh okay. And she goes over to uh a- a desk, a small sort of information desk, and picks up a piece of paper and jots something on it and then hands it to you and its just a note that says "just fucking follow me!"
•  - His name? Franz....ch.
   - Franged?
   - Frenched
   - Sorry, Franche? 
  - Can you guys not make a big deal out of it everytime?? Im trying to- I don't have a billion names written time this time!
• - The more you lose, the more important it is to protect what you still have, you pessimistic asshole. Because there are children that are in Founders Wake that have never seen a fucking polar bear! And we have ze chance to save things so that- maybe you dont care right now. But maybe they will! Huh?? Maybe its not about you, you selfish piece of shit!
• You zink you are very special because you feel this way. You zink that you have a big picture kind of mentality and that you see things in a clear way that no one else. But I'm going to tell you a secret, Sir. I grew up surrounded by people like you. People who live their life and make their decisions because of some promise of a better zing coming right? And zat everyzing they do now is all worth it because of whats to come, right? But ze problem is when you are looking at ze big picture, ze the things that you often miss, right, iz ze little things. And so you become so focused on the big picture and working towards ze next thing, zat you lose focus on how you are affecting the world you are in now. You think the world will be better huh? The next one. Do you know how it got to be like that?? Because of assholes like you who focused on "better" and ze next thing. And growing and taking more and being more and having more and instead, maybe if you focused a little bit more on what was going on now, we wouldn't be in ze fucking predicament here under the ocean, surrounded by polluted water, zat we are. Did you ever think about this??
• But with her many arms she rips sun from sky and boils all the water-  misbehavior
• That's why Gary Gygax used to say "this is my little nephew, Matt Mercer"
• It's a good point, but not relevant.
• I've always had the sneaking suspicion that when people aren't with us, theyre not really doing much of anything. Have you guys felt that ever?
• - Nah we, me and Dylan can handle it
  - Whos dylan??
  - Sorry??
  - Uh, from- from deeper in the ship, the- the door to the bridge opens up, and you all see just this skeezy waistoid of a dude walk in and hes like "Hey what's up? What's going on?"
  - Sorry who are you?
  - Who is Dylan??
  - This is my friend Dylan.
(Laughter)
• I- no! I don't think so at all! Im not with them. No I'm- I- Im- I like the mortal world! I like the- the I like the oceans, I like the- most of the people Ive met and I like all the creatures Ive met. I- I dont know why anybody would want to... get rid of this! I... I understand that people have lives and memories and- and all these things about the past, but, you know I recently learned that I'm not gonna live in it. I- I don't have that past to live in. So I don't wanna tunnel into... whatever Nirvanna or whatever these people wanna do. I just... I wanna enjoy this beautiful world that we have; this existence we have! I wanna appreciate it! I don't- I don't see any sense in trying to go somewhere else. Im! Not! With! Them!
• - My will
  - What?
  - My will
  - Oh okay.
  - Oh he did it in a scary voice. I hated that.
  -Yea idk why..
  - Like the devil-
  - I can't hear it on my end, hows it sound?
  - It sounds fucking scary man
  - It sounds terrible
  - It's the scariest-
  - I'm trying to turn it off so please- please ignore me (demonic laugh)
  - The volumes are too low and I tried to change this one slider and now I sound like this!
  - It's wonderful to me that you got this fun new sound board in our penultimate episode.
  - It's not- Ive had it for a little bit but I don't normally have these.
•  - Your mind reels with a question as you blink away tears: where the shit am I? To which your own mind answers: I do not know
  - Okay Griffin, but whats happening in the game??
• Yes! He's gained the power of literacy, and now he's unstoppable!
•  - You have thwarted me again, Springfield
  - Im walking away, I cant hear you actually Im walking away
  - Wait
  - Nope. Im not gonna! Im gonna walk away!
  - Okay. I wish-a you wouldn't.
  - Okay I'll see ya around. Bye!
  - That's a weird thing to say after you said that cool shit about Siren
  - I know but you keep talking to me and now its weird!
  - You're not walking away!
  - I want to though!
  - You keep responding
  - Okay now I'm definitely gonna walk away
  - Doesn't sound like it
  - Aw man.
  -(Quieter) Okay I'm walking away
  - Hey wait come back!
  - Yea?
  - What are you still doing here, man?
  - God dammit!
• -You ask a fucking lot of questions. I get it, that its like-
  - It's my whole deal!
  - Yea but even so... it's... it's... tiring.
  - What else would you have me dooo?
  - You could just chill.
  - I'm not The Statementer! Like I don't come when youre doing your job I don't-
  - I've got a question for you.
  - What is it?
  - What did birds evolve from? (Out of character) and then I go
  - Well the science-
  - (dinosaur screeches) And a bunch of-
  - No you didn't let me answer!
  - Velociraptors jump through the windows!
 
• - Do you have a spectral pen, um?
  - A regular pen that he can hold? When he's not-
  - Yes it's fine I can man-manifest myself into a corporeal form. Please excuse me for just a second.
  - Hang on just a second-
  (Very loud obnoxious screaming from Justin)
• - Mr. Parsons? It seems a missive has come for you.
  - Shhh. I hate this part.
• My name is Augustus Parsons; and I'm totally nuts.
• - That was a NICE ectoplasmic blast
  - That's what she said!
0 notes
angieflorez369 · 4 years
Text
If it’s you
Zatanna x Green lantern
I DO NOT OWN THESE CHARACTERS, THEY BELONG TO DCSHG
Seriously?
Part 1
“Seriously! How does Jessica not know?" Zee paced around Karen's room back and forth.
"Um.. maybe you should give bigger hints?" Karen played with her hair, Zee always made Karen nervous whenever she paced around like this.
"Bigger hints? Bigger hints! I've been giving these "hints" since the day we met Karen! She's just so..so!! What is she?"
"Oblivious?"
"Exactly! Like how can she not be getting these humongous hints?" Zee places her hands on her hips and waited for an answer from her best friend.
"Well.. what kind of hints have you been giving her Zee?"
"Well.."
[FLASHBACK]
"Hey Jess, I'm so glad you decided to join me for some morning coffee" Zee welcomed as Jessica sat in front of her at their favorite place, Sweet Justice.
"Of course! Sooo, what's the occasion?" Jessica sipped her iced coffee as she raised a brow to her friend.
"Wha- I can't just have a nice time with one of my..very special friends?" Zee ran her fingers along Jessica's tanned arm.
"Mmhhmm, Zo I know you, do you need a favor or something? Because I am more than willing to help a friend in need, and you know that" Jessica insisted completely not noticing Zee's actions.
"Well... maybe you can help me out personally?" Zee teases as she inches closer to her friends face.
"Your period?"
Zee completely stopped moving. "What? No"
"You're pregnant?!" Jessica gasped and pulled Zee for a very close hug causing for items to fall off the table, causing VERY loud noises.
"WHAT? No I'm not preg-!"
"Ooooohhh Zo, I'm so happy for you! Wait a minute? Who's the father?" Jessica asked aloud which grabbed people's attention in the room.
"Jessica!" Zee blurted out, "I'm not pregnant!" Zee grabbed a hold of Jessica's face to make her stop moving around so much.
"Oh" Jessica scoffed "I knew that, I was just making sure you knew I was umm..joking" The girls both sat back down and brushed themselves off, both blushing from the very loud commotion they caused.
"Sooo, what was your favor?" Jessica slurped her drink as it ran down her lips.
Zee's eyes trailed where the liquid flowed down closer to Jessica's chest. Zo, being a neat freak got a little irritated and grabbed a napkin and wiped her face. The two girls stared into each other's eyes for awhile, as Zatara slowly inches closer to Jess, closing her eyes.
"Zee?" Jessica's face twisted with confusion, "What are you doing?"
Zee's lips puckered up and her eyes widened, "Oh! Uhh, there was an..eyelash right there" Zee blew Jessica's face, making Jessica flinch. "Heh.. got it" Zee sat back down in her chair with her face completely flushed.
"So...school?"
[PRESENT TIME]
"Wow" Karen huffed, "That was rough to listen to". Karen put a hand over her chest.
"Imagine being there! I've completely lost my game Karen! W-what should I do?"
"Don't worry, I can just call Kara for some good girl advice, since yanno she's well umm..experienced" Karen went picked up her phone when suddenly..
"NO!" Zee slapped the phone out of her hand.
"Zee! What the heck?!"
"Sorry! Sorry, I'm sorry I just- you can't tell Kara! Or any of the girls in fact" Zee picked up Karen's phone and handed it to her.
"And why not? These are our friends they'll understand" Karen comforted her friend.
"Just- not yet. Please, I need you! You're the only one I've told about this! It's you, you gotta help me! Tell me what to do!" Zee felt like she was spiraling.
Karen very softly slapped Zee's face. It felt like so soft, was that even a slap? Which shocked the both of them.
"What the hell was that?"
"A slap, to show you to snap out of it! You are not acting like yourself!" Karen shook Zee back and forth.
"Okay okay!" Zee inhaled sharply and exhaled, "what should I do?"
"I don't know"
"Karennnn" Zee moaned, "come on help me out here!"
"Alright alright, you're feminine right?"
"Do you even need to ask?" Zee flipped her hair perfectly.
"So use that! Use your feminine charms to woo her!"
"Weren't you listening to my story? She's oblivious to anything I hint at!" Zee complained as she laid on Karen's bed.
"Be even bolder, give her little kisses or hold her hand. You're Zee Zatara for gods sake!"
"You're right! I've got this!"
[LINEBREAK]
"I don't got this" Zee whispered. As Karen and her walked together to Sweet justice.
"Don't back down now Zo!" Karen hushed to her friend, "you got this in the bag!". Karen nudged her best friend. Zee smiled and nodded as they arrived at the destination.
"There you guys are! Come on sit!" Jessica waved her friends over. Zee gulped and Karen softly pushed Zee towards their reserved booth.
All the girls ordered their food and talked about their recent events that occurred to them all. They laughed, all having a good time. When Karen cleared her throat, pointing her head towards Jessica's direction. Zee nodded.
"Sooo" Zee cleared her throat, "Does anyone have a special someone on their mind?" Zee smirked as she looked at all her friends.
Each of the girls giggled at each other, all except Kara. Who was currently devouring her meal, which got everyone's attention.
"What?" Kara said as she had food hanging off her mouth. Zee cringed and have her a napkin, for being the neat freak she was.
"Must you be so crude" Zee muttered as she crossed her arms which made Kara scowl at her feminine friend.
"Kara, do you encounter romantic feelings for a decent human being as well?" Diana clasped her hands together hopefully getting a very romantic answer.
"Eh" Kara said as she wiped her dirty face, "I'm not really crushing on anyone right now, I'm feeling myself yanno?" Kara gave her knowing grin and crossed her arms.
"Booorrrinnggg! Anyways, Diana whose yours?" Barbara asked as she batted her eyelashes at her warrior friend.
"Oh heh well.." Diana started while a certain friend cut her off.
"Oh please! It's obviously that Steve guy" Kara interrupted as she ate a cherry off her ice cream she ordered.
"While he is very cute.. I have another that makes me feel the same way in fact" Diana corrected.
This caught all of their friends attention. "Who?!" They all asked at the same time.
"Is it Kara?!" Karen blurted out which made everyone turn their attention to little bumble bee, "What? They'd be cute together" Karen's voice slowly went quiet as she spoke.
"She can't date one of us, that'd be weird! Silly bee!" Jessica laughed as she rumbled her friends hair.
"Haha yeah weird.." Zee drank her kiwi boba drink as she slowly sank in her seat. Losing all of her confidence to make a move at all.
Karen saw her friend deflate which made Karen regret what she said.
"So who is it?" Barbara asked, "I'm dying to know!!"
Diana inhaled "Tatsu." She stated, closing her eyes. After a couple of seconds of silence she poked her one eye open to see their reactions. She opened her eyes to see them smile that reaches so high it was concerning. They all squealed and squeezed their taller friend. "Soooo cute!!!" They all cried out in unison which gained a giggle from them all.
"I knew you girls had a spark, just never knew it was legit!" Kara slammed her fists on the table, "you gotta ask her out!".
"What? Why?" Diana questioned as she was getting pushed out of Sweet justice by all her friends. "You're made for each other!" As their friends echoed throughout the street into Jessica's van and drove to Tatsu's house. All except one.
Zee stared at her drink as tears formed and slowly fell onto the table. She put her drink aside and wept into her arms. Barry caught sight of this and sighed. He walked over and sat with her, patting her shoulders. Zee gasped and wiped her eyes, which smeared her makeup but she didn't care right now.I
"S-sorry, I'll pay and take off, you don't wanna see a mess like me right now" Zee sniffed and reached for her bag, when a hand stopped hers, "Barry?"
"It's okay, this ones on the house" He smiled and nodded his head.
"Wow thank you. I'm sorry you had to see me like this" Zee apologized hanging her head low.
"Hey, it's okay. We're friends right?"
"Of course, why would you ask that?" She was really confused now.
"Because when a friend is in need, you help them. It's what heroes do" The two exchanged a hearty laugh.
"Thanks Barry"
"Of course, now what's wrong?"
Zee sighed, "I have a crush."
Barry tilted his head "Uhh I'm not following, what's wrong with that?"
"Oh nothing, except I have a crush on one of my best friends!"
"Karen?"
"What? No. She's my best best friend, I feel no romantic feelings towards her. I see her as a sister more than a lover" Zee waved off that thought.
"Then who?"
Zee sighed once more, "Its Jessica.."
Barry's eyes widened, "Oh wow, I wouldn't have seen that"
"Really? Is it that weird? Is it weird to feel this way about a friend? A really close friend?" Zee asked squeezing Barry's hands in anticipation.
"Of course not, it's completely okay to feel this way! Trust me"
Zee examined her speedy friend, "It seems like you know what you're talking about, who's the girl?"
Barry sighed, how was she so good at reading people? "It's...Barbara" Barry scratched his head in embarrassment, his face heating up.
"I knew it! You two would be so perfect for each other!" Zee gushed.
"You think so? I don't even know if she likes me though, how can you be so sure?" Barry asked getting anxious for the answer.
"Of course she does, look at the way she talks to you and interacts with you, those are some obvious hints right there Barry!" Zee, the love guru.
"Wow! This is great! You know what, maybe I will tell her how I feel!" Barry stood up from the booth they sat at.
"Yes! Go for it Barry! Tap that ass!" Zee gave a huge whoop and slapped her friends butt.
"Zee!" Barry blushed and laughed at her flirty friend, "where is she anyways?"
"She should be at Tatsu's house with all the girls" Zee remembered.
"Right, yanno... you should tap Jessica's too" Barry smirked as he ran out the door, already checking out of work.
Zee blushed at what her friend said, "One day, but for now...I can't" Zee picked up her purse and headed out the door, she does have school tomorrow after all.
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33 notes · View notes
overwijs · 3 years
Text
Dag 142 – “Baby got back”
Dit verhaal hoort bij mijn werkdag van woensdag 2 december.
I like big rocks and I can not lie. Een big rock is een klus, hoeft niet per se echt groot te zijn, wat niet bepaalt makkelijk gaat. Iets met een drempel, of een hobbel, met een uitdaging. Je kijkt er niet naar uit, je ziet er een zelfs een beetje tegenop.
Het begrip big rock leerde ik een paar jaar geleden kennen tijdens mijn werk als projectleider binnen onze onderwijsorganisatie, we kregen staande bordsessies. Check-ins waar je kon vertellen over welke smiley het beste bij jouw huidige gemoedstoestand past, welke dingen je bereikt hebt de afgelopen tijd en de big rocks waar je wellicht hulp bij kan gebruiken.
Van de bordsessies an sich ben ik geen fan, mensen zijn mensen en de korte check-ins werden een groot deel van de bijeenkomsten waar eigenlijk alles al besproken was wat ook op de agenda stond, niet gek want dat zijn natuurlijk de dingen waar we mee bezig waren. Alleen dan op een zogenaamd informele manier waardoor je ze daarna alsnog een soort van moest bespreken.
Natuurlijk is het goed om te weten hoe anderen in de wedstrijd zitten, ook is het belangrijk om stil te staan bij de dingen die bereikt zijn en om te weten hoe je anderen kan helpen. Als het kort en krachtig neergezet wordt, helaas heb ik die ervaring niet altijd gehad. Toch is het begrip big rock al die tijd blijven hangen. Niet dat ik het vaak hardop zeg, maar in gedachten speelt het woord wel vaak.
Zo ook de afgelopen weken. Een klus die gedaan moet worden, niet per definitie een leuke klus. Een document opstellen over de werking van iets complex, simpeler maken zodat anderen er mee uit de voeten kunnen en niet afgeschrikt worden. Ik heb de afgelopen weken meerdere keren naar een blanco blad gekeken.
Ik zal het eerlijk toegeven, ik ben daar niet goed in. Ik vermoed dat veel mensen dit niet weten maar ik ben niet de gene die makkelijk kan beginnen als er nog niets staat. Een collega zei dat laatst mooi tegen mij: “je hebt mensen die graag een blanco doek hebben en ik heb het nodig dat iemand de eerste streep zet zodat ik daar verder op kan doorgaan.”. Iets waar ik mij zo in herken, en steeds aan terugdacht, starend naar mijn scherm.
Pas als de druk hoog is, komt mijn creativiteit. Op het moment dat hij bij anderen verdwijnt, als het moet, dan begin pot het bij mij pas. Dus als niemand de eerste streep zet, heb ik een deadline nodig. En die deadline heb ik nu. Dus zit ik driftig te typen, vliegt de tijd en vergeet ik zelfs dat ik nog een training te modereren had. Ik zit in de personeelskamer achter mijn laptop, ik hoor diezelfde collega in mijn hoofd zeggen “achter je laptop, je kan er beter voor gaan zitten”, en ik ontvang twee appjes.
Ik lees ze, mompel een geschrokken scheldwoord en realiseer me dat ik niet meer naar huis kan voor de sessie. Dat wordt dus een plekje op school inrichten, in de wildernis van de school, natuurlijk komen er juist dan groepjes docenten met elkaar bijpraten, wat meestal niet veel meer gebeurt in deze tijden na schooltijd. Het is een uitdaging, maar nog geen big rock.
Na weken denken over het afbrokkelen van de big rock, vermorzel ik hem, zo goed en zo kwaad als ik kan in de tijd die ik nog had. Ik verloor het zicht op tijd en vergat even alles om mij heen. En dat is waarom ik big rocks hou, “not because they are easy, but because they are hard!”, ze dagen je uit, verleggen je grenzen en uiteindelijk lukt het je altijd en kan je alleen maar trots zijn. I like big rocks and I can not lie.
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Oh, my, God Becky, look at her butt
It is so big, she looks like
One of those rap guys' girlfriends.
But, ya know, who understands those rap guys?
They only talk to her, because,
She looks like a total prostitute, 'kay?
I mean, her butt, is just so big
I can't believe it's just so round, it's like out there
I mean gross, look
She's just so, black
I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, want to pull up tough
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I want to get wit'cha
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But with that butt you got makes (me so horny)
Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin
You say you want to get in my Benz?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause you ain't that average groupie
I've seen her dancin'
To hell with romancin'
She's sweat, wet,
Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back
So, fellas (yeah) Fellas (yeah)
Has your girlfriend got the butt? (hell yeah)
Tell 'em to shake it (shake it) shake it (shake it)
Shake that healthy butt
Baby got back (L.A. fits with the Oakland booty)
Baby got back (L.A. fits with the Oakland booty)
I like 'em round, and big
And when I'm throwin' a gig
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I want to get you home
And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh
I ain't talkin' bout Playboy
'Cause silicone parts are made for toys
I want 'em real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mix-a-Lot's in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Knock-kneed bimbos walkin' like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
A word to the thick soul sistas, I want to get with ya
I won't cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I want to fuck
Til the break of dawn
Baby got it goin' on
A lot of simps won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it
And I'd rather stay and play
'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on
So, ladies (Yeah) Ladies (Yeah)
If you want to role in my Mercedes (Yeah)
Then turn around, stick it out
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back
Baby got back
Yeah, baby, when it comes to females
Cosmo ain't got nothin'
To do with my selection
Thirty six-twenty- four-thirty six
Ha ha, only if she's 5'3
So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none
Unless you've got buns, hon
You can do side bends or sit-ups
But please don't lose that butt
Some brothers want to play that hard role
And tell you that the butt ain't gol'
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So Cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that
'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
To the beanpole dames in the magazines
You ain't it, Miss Thing
Give me a sista, I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
'Cause his girls are on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And I pull up quick to get wit 'em
So ladies, if the butt is round,
And you want a triple X throw down,
Dial 1-900-MIXALOT
And kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back
Baby got back
Het liedje luisteren doe je hier: https://open.spotify.com/track/1SAkL1mYNJlaqnBQxVZrRl?si=Ta7d-KEEST2rYAYIvu2HyQ
De hele afspeellijst van mijn blogs hier: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5EtxaLDydwfpnPsFrSS3Oh?si=Q38OEQ4aSDWoR42OH9Ef6A
0 notes
kaiyeti · 7 years
Conversation
Idea for my own story.
Detective: Hello. I'm detective Origace. I understand you had a rough night so I'll try to make this quick. Your name Sally Galiran, correct? *The Detective said as he entered the room, taking a seat at the table cross from the the young woman staring down it the cup of coffee she held in her hand.*
Sally: ... Yes.
Detective: And how is your head and leg? *Origace asked, eyeing the bandages wrapped her forehead while her other hand subconsciously rubs her leg.* From the report it seems you suffered from a gash from a piece of glass on your head with no major head trauma and chemical burns around your leg. And supposedly after the medics cleaned and bandaged your wounds you refused to go to the hospital and asked to come straight to the station.
Sally: ... Yes. But is wasn't a piece of glass. *Sally said, her voice almost a whisper.*
Detective: *The detective raises his eyebrow.* Yes. You mentioned that to the officer who took your statement after they arrived. Though, considering in the reports, when the officers found you, you were laying in breaking glass from a broken window this you yourself claimed to be thrown through. Are you sure you didn't receive the gash from the glass?
Sally: It wasn't glass. *Sally said firmly while setting her cup of coffee on the table rather roughly.* The cut I got was from the same thing that burned my leg.
Detective: Right, the burns your leg. *The detective mutter turning a page of the report to photos of the crime scene.* According to this, there were no chemical what so ever within the building that caused the burn on your leg. However, initial lab reports state that other burns on cloths and wood showing that its a chemical that only reacts to organic material.
Sally: *At the mention of this Sally's face changed slightly for a fraction of a second before returning to the tired blank expression with the exception of her eyes. Her eyes held a sense of fear as flashes of her memory of a beastly figure, people she knew running and screaming, blood, a blue-ish black devil, and lastly blue-ish silver eye staring into her soul.* You don't have to tell me. I know first hand.
Detective: Which bring me to ask. How exactly did you receive those burn in the way you did? The burn on you leg goes all the way around, as if something was wrapped around you to grab you. Plus, from what I saw myself at the scene and what is in the report, the place looked like a battlefield. The damages to stone pillars, the walls, ceiling, and floors look as though there was a combination of explosions or high impact along with clear cuts through concrete and metal that look like claw marks by something big.
Sally: I told the police what caused the burns. And the damage to that burning. And to... *Sally said before going silent.*
Detective: Your friend that you claimed a monster with a large mouth fill with acid covered tentacles, massive claws, and glowing eye soaks that you claim killed and ate them. *The detective read from the report in his hand, slapping the file onto the table.* I think you can see why we are having a hard time taking what you said because of this statement. Since, our city is powered and guarded by the Gaiaus prevents any of those types of demons. Not to mention there is no evidence of anyone else being there with you.
Sally: But I know what I saw and I wasn't alone. *Sally said as she looked up from her feet for the first time since entering the room.* It was one of them. That monster was-
Detective: Why didn't you go to the hospital? *Origace interrupted, folding his hands together while leaning against the table.* You clearly need medical attention and if what you think you saw was really their than you know you are poisoned.
Sally: Ah... *Sally blinked and averted her gaze.* I didn't feel very safe going to the hospital.
Detective: Safe? Safe from what? *Origace asked when suddenly another officer opens the door.*
Police officer: Excuse me, Detective Origace. You have a nest connection from Detective Platnite. She says it's important.
Detective: Alright. I'll be right there. *He told the officer as he stands up and walks out but not before turning back to Sally.* I'll be right. When I do, I would like the full truth.
Sally: ... *Sally only looks down in response as the door closed. During this time as the detective and the officer moved down the hall, they were unaware of someone coming from the other of the hallway and entered the interrogation room. As the door open, Sally's eyes glanced up towards it only to widen in horror. She immediately shot up from her seat, backing away from the man wearing a dark blue coat and black hunter hat as he closed the door.* I-I-I didn't say word about you. I swear. *The man looked at Sally, his blue ringed silver eye seemingly to look into her soul.* Please... I know who you are. What you are. Please... *Sally pleadedas her wall hit the wall and watched the man's hand turn into claws and blades.* W-W-W-Wait please! I swear I am not like them! I just want to-
???: I'm sorry, Sally. *The man said taking a step forwards, the lights in the room flickering revealing his eye and claws seemingly dimly glowing in the dark.*
~~~
Origace: What? What did you just say? *The detective mutter in shock as look at the holographic screen in front of him.*
Platnite: I'm saying that this skinned mangled body that we found this morning at the wall has been identified with bioreiki as a college student named Sally Galiran. *The woman detective informed her partner showing pictured of the dead body that was partially reconstructed compared to a picture of Sally.* Meaning that woman you're holding isn't Sally Galiran.
Origace: Shit! *he cursed pulling off the collar like communicator from his neck and rushed out the door while shouting to another officer.* Get a combat team down to interrogation room three ten right now! *The detective then ran as fast as he could through the halls, leaping down a flight of stair while drawing his gun and made his when to the interrogation room. Once there, he instantly realized the door slightly open.* Damn it! *He mutter and kicked open the door, which to his surprise fell to the ground. Confused but unfazed He moved int with his gun at the ready only to be meant with a site he did not expect. A site of a room thrown into ruin covered with blood and deep claw marks with a torn apart decaying monster that most of it body leaning against the wall, its head twisted upside down with half of Sally's face draped over it. It was this that caused the detective to lower his gun and cover his mouth.* My god... What... What happened here?
~~~
*Meanwhile outside, the silver blue eyed man walked down a side walk blocks away from the police stations as police cars and ships passed by. He continued to walk for two blocks before stopping at a cross walk.*
???: So I take it you got the other one, Kai? *A short dark purple haired woman with pinkish highlights asked as she stepped next to the man looking up at him.*
Kai: Yeah Zo. I got them. Sorry to keep you waiting. *He said, taking his hat off his bandanna covered head and his coat dissolved upwards like flames and edged water.*
Zozu: Don't worry about it. I have to admit. It was pretty brilliant idea to hide from us in a police station while in the poor girl's skin. Though its a shame we couldn't find her alive and save her. Zo sighed with disappointment.* But at least we'll be able to tell Sally's parents we got her killers.
Kai: Yeah. *He mutter glancing down at Zozu's sad expression before patting his partner's head.* We can't win them all completely Zo. Just be glad you figured out went they were meeting and we manage to stop anyone else from being killed.
Zozu: Yeah I guess.
Kai: Come on. I'll taking you to the restaurant you been wanting to go to since we got here.
Zozu: Huh?... Hehe, Thanks, Kai. For trying to cheer me up. *Zozu smiled at her partner as the light changed and they began to cross the street.*
Kai: My Pleasure... Actually thinking about it, What did you do with those other college kids when I went after what was left of them?
Zozu: Oh I just dumped them at a bar. Which reminds me. *Zozu the kicked Kai in the leg.* That is for making me carry fourteen drugged college student out of an abandon build. One of whom barfed on my new coat.
Kai: Sorry.
Zozu: You should be.
Kai:...
Zozu:...
Kai:... Foot hurting yet?
Zozu: I hate you sometime. *Zozu grumbled with a limp.*
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hipsofsteel · 7 years
Note
Dont imagine cute little chubby Al pouting over how fit Jett is, don't imagine his blushes when Jett practically worships him DONT I M A G I N E
I tried to make this fic happy but then I projected all my insecurities on Alfred and I would like to apologize for making him sad. However, Jett is a very good boyfriend, so he doesn’t stay sad.
Jett would also 100% punch anyone who dares to make his boyfriend cry, so Al has that going for him.
It’s hard enough to just exist as a nation, whether or not you’re a major world power or just a few ideas thrown into a human body and given life. Alfred is keenly aware of this.
But honestly, this pudge around his midsection… It is just unfair!
Very few of the nations who manifest as adult males have pudge like he does. There’s a few, he supposes. Finland always seems a smidge soft around the edges, and no one seems to know what Russia looks like under all those layers of sweaters and coats, so he might have one as well, but they don’t get the stigma like he does.
Especially when he has a fucking Greek Adonis for a boyfriend.
They’re having a fun day at the beach, just as a family unit of sorts. Oscar is sulking in the shade umbrella with a new book he grabbed from some little place further up the beach, practically hissing every time he has to move to avoid the sunlight. Alfred is sitting under a second umbrella, giving him his privacy, watching the other two play.
Zoe screeches in delight when Jett picks her up and almost throws her over his shoulder. “Look what I found in the waves!” He grins, lifting the usually serious micronation onto his shoulders and laughing as she tries to pull him over by leaning backwards. “Good luck with that, baby girl!”
Alfred chuckles as he watches Jett and Zoe play in the waves. He doesn’t understand how Jett stays so fit. He’s a father of two, in the sense that nations are parents, but somehow, he manages to maintain a figure of impressive strength. Lightly defined muscles, just enough for you to know they’re present and strong, dark and beautiful skin, the ability to give bear hugs Alfred almost can’t compete with. He eats really great tasting food, yet somehow still eats healthy and just…
It isn’t fucking fair. It really isn’t.
Alfred maintains his cover under the second umbrella, t-shirt and cargo shorts on. He doesn’t just have a muffin top to worry about. He’s also got thighs that would probably look better on a woman than a man. And he’s not about to let them see the light of day.
Finally, after a while, Jett carts Zoe over. “Come on, Zo, time for more sunscreen.” Wy doesn’t protest as she reapplies it, only turning to Jett for help with her back.
Alfred smiles fondly as he watches them interact. Jett is a great dad. No one could ever deny this. When Wy zips off to go collect seashells, he shouts after her. “Remember to stay in sight of one of us at all times! And take a bucket in case you find more than you can carry!”
Alfred smiles as Zoe runs off. “You’re a good dad.”
Jett smiles. “At least to one of them. A certain young man seems to think me quite the annoyance.”
Oscar shouts from his shady spot. “I can hear you talking about me over there.”
“Go take your sister for a walk then! If you go with, she can go further looking for seashells.” Jett shouted, and both were pleasantly surprised to see Oscar stand up and pull on his shoes, setting down his book and glancing around to spot Wy.
But then he spoke.
“I’ll take her out of sight for an hour. Try to have done all the disgustingly cute things you want to do as a couple before we get back.”
“Oscar Michael Kirkland!” Jett shouts, but Hutt River is heading after Wy as fast as he can. Jett groans and leans back, setting his head on Al’s lap. “God, that kid sometimes…”
Alfred snorts. “I’d say he gets it from you.”
“Oh, stuff it!”
They sit there in silence for a few minutes, and Alfred watches Zoe and Oscar disappear out of the corner of his eye. They have cell phones, and Jett gave them each an independent streak a mile wide, so he’s not too worried.
“Alright, come on Yank.” Jett suddenly says, sitting up. “Shirt off. We’re going swimming.”
Alfred almost freezes at that. “No, think I’ll leave the shirt on if you don’t mind.”
Jett stops, raising one big bushy eyebrow. “Alfred, it’s gonna make it harder to move.”
“I am aware.” Alfred replies, standing, and then quickly makes an excuse. “I’m less likely to sunburn, though-”
“Bullshit. This is about England’s comment about you having a muffin top, isn’t it?” Jett says, immediately calling out the fear. Alfred is irritated Jett knows him so well. He supposes it means they have a good relationship, but sometimes you just want to deal with your issues on your own.
But even then, he can’t stop it from slipping out.
“And France’s about my giant thighs.”
It’s a whisper, but he sees Jett’s face grow dark for a moment, anger filling every line of concentration that has appeared. Alfred takes a few steps forward, trying to ignore his brain making him self conscious with every step, but then a pair of arms are wrapping around him, pulling him back towards the shade.
“Oz-” He begins, but then Jett is in front of him, pressing a kiss to his lips.
And when Oz pulls back, he’s serious.
“Listen, Alfred. You are perfect. Muffin top, big thighs. It’s all beautiful. It’s you!”
Alfred feels his face turning scarlet. “But it’s not. I used to be fit…”
“Used to? You’ve always been fit. You aren’t the strongest nation for now reason, Al.” Jett said, concern on his face now.
“I used to be skinny, though. I didn’t have all this pudge. I was-”
Jett stopped him. “You looked like that when you weren’t healthy. I remember the Depression, Al. You were starving. You weren’t to the point of death, but you were sick.”
Alfred glances down at the ground. He and Jett had been dating since 1917. He guesses Jett would recall the last time he was so skinny.
“Listen, healthy and skinny are not equal, nor are beauty and skinny the same. The Depression had you looking skinny, but you were permanently pale around the edges, and you looked like you were going to break at any moment. That isn’t healthy, Al. I wouldn’t have you looking like that again if my life depended on it.”
“But you’re so fit-”
“And so are you! All that ‘weight’ England is always saying you’ve put on is pure muscle mass! How else is your body supposed to manifest that you’re the world’s only superpower?”
“But-”
Jett seems upset with the next sentence. “Lay back down, Alfred.”
Alfred sits down under the umbrella, and Jett sits down next to him, bringing their heads together, green eyes gazing at blue.
“This-” He says, setting his hand on Alfred’s stomach, “-is not ugly. It is beautiful. It is healthy, and it is amazing. That little layer of fat that bothers you so much means that, in a manner of speaking, you are healthier than me. It keeps your skin and cells healthy, keeps internal organs warm. I can go on if you wish about all the various health benefits of your amazing little muffin top.”
Alfred tries to look anywhere besides Jett’s face, not sure if the blush in his face is embarrassment or just a reaction to his boyfriend trying to reassure him.
Then Jett is trying to yank his shirt off.
“Jett!”
“Just take it off!”
Alfred begrudgingly does, and Jett pulls him down so they’re both lying down. Alfred sighs and allows himself to be pulled along into it. Jett props himself up on an elbow so they’re looking at each other with a better view.
“You are beautiful. Every inch of you. From the ends of your hair to the tips of your toes. You are strong and healthy, and you’re the most wonderful human to exist. And just because that salty ass piece of shit and his stupid fucking French boyfriend don’t seem to believe it doesn’t mean that anyone else thinks that way about you.”
Alfred tries not to blush even harder when Jett leans forward, pressing their foreheads together again.
“I love every single inch of you and wouldn’t want you to change it for the world.”
Alfred smiles. “I love you, Jett.”
“I love you too, Alfred.”
It’s a small kiss they share, a hopeful smile, and then Jett is dragging him out into the waves, smiling like it’s Christmas Day.
And when the kids get back, Jett grins. “I think it’s time Oscar took a swim, don’t you?”
Alfred grins as they both grab the protesting teen and drag him into the waves hissing and shouting like an angry cat. Wy laughs from the shore, encouraging them to do it again.
“I thought I said all couple things over in an hour! Ganging up on me is not fair!” He snapped after he had dragged himself out of the surf and began to dry off.
“You said try to stop. We never agreed to.” Jett said with a laugh, tossing another towel towards Oscar. “Besides, cheer up. We could have let Wy decide when you were done taking a swim.”
Zoe shouted from her spot she was sitting in next to Alfred. “You’d still be swimming, brother!”
Later that evening, back in their hotel rooms, Oscar and Zoe in their own, Jett and Alfred smiled at each other as they crawled into bed.
Jett pressed a kiss to Alfred’s face. “You are beautiful.”
Alfred felt himself turn scarlet once more.
***
Jett told Alfred to leave ahead of him at the end of the next world meeting, and Alfred, seeing something angry in those eyes, agreed, grabbing the kids and asking them if they would like to go have dinner with him, stating that Jett ‘has something he needs to do’.
Jett waited for them to emerge, stepping out in front of the couple.
“Australia! What are you doing here so late?” France asked politely. “You aren’t usually the type to stay long after the meeting has finished!”
England seemed more confused, but Jett spoke first.
“It’s about what you said at the last meeting. Both of you.”
His tone was angry, and Francis seemed puzzled. “Jett?”
“Alfred doesn’t deserve to be treated like that, stick legs.” Jett snapped at Francis. “And while he won’t stoop to your level with petty and honestly uncreative insults, I will.”
Dawning realization was coming to both of them rather fast, and England spoke. “Lad, we weren’t trying to make him feel bad-”
“Bullshit, you pommy bastard! That’s exactly what you were trying to do. And if I thought I could get away with it, I would kick your salty little ass all the way back home and tell Scotland and Wales what you said. They don’t exactly have a fondness for you when you make your former colonies upset, if I recall.”
Arthur winced, remembering the verbal abuse thrown at him for even making the little colonies cry when they were children, and Scotland being quite clear that if he ever laid a hand against a child, two would be laid against him.
There’s a long silence that falls between the three of them.
“He’s self conscious, especially when it comes you two. His father and his mentor. And you both know it. I understand that you guys have always antagonized each other and it’s all meant to be playful, but if I hear of one more time you try and criticize him for having pudge, I will be setting my aunt Ireland and uncles Scotland and Wales on you both, because you both know he takes that to heart. Alasdair might be sweet on you, Francis, but Owen and Siobhan won’t give a hoot in hell about you if I come asking them to have their guns blazing.”
There’s another pause and Francis nods. “Perhaps we would do best to apologize to the boy.”
“Perhaps.” Jett said, and turned his gaze towards Arthur.
England looked at the ground.
“Arthur…” Francis said, his tone not amused.
“I don’t often get the self righteous anger turned back on me. You’re right, Jett.” Arthur looked up, meeting Oz’s eyes. “And I’m sorry to you as well.”
“What for?” Oz said, voice sounding dangerous. He didn’t want pity for having to deal with Alfred. The Brit had tried to give it once before.
Jett thought Arthur had looked rather nice with a black eye that day.
“For speaking without thinking and putting him in those situations.” Arthur said. “Just… slips out sometimes… I’ll try to stop it.”
This apology was more genuine, and not out of pity.
“Do more than try, Arthur. Do it.” Jett commands, turning and leaving.
He hears France say something behind him, but doesn’t turn.
“That boy has grown up into a very good man.”
He tries to stifle the swell of pride when he hears England respond.
“No. He’s grown into a great one. Him and Al both.”
***
“Where did you go last night?” Zoe asks the next morning, sitting on the edge of his bed while they pack to head home.
“I had some business to attend to.” He responds.
“Business my ass.” Oscar says.
“I would reprimand you for language in front of your little sister, but I’ve said worse.” Jett said, throwing the suit into the bag without a care in the world for what it looked like when he got home to ‘Straya. Zoe snorted, fussing with some piece of paper she’d been worrying over for the past hour.
“I ain’t gonna yell at you about that note Peter gave you if you’re worried.” Jett said as she pulled it out of her pocket again, and a faint noise of surprise escaped her. “However, you’ve got to promise me that you aren’t going to go running off during meeting breaks without telling me who you’re with, where you’re planning to go, and when you plan to return. That way, I can make sure to go out looking for you if you’re actually in danger.”
Oscar smirked a little.
“Don’t think I wouldn’t give you the same lecture if you did more than sneak into your Bibi Avery’s room to read Tolkien, young man.” Jett said before the two started fighting. New Zealand took the entire works of Tolkien everywhere with them, and since Oscar never seemed to have any interest in anything other than peace and quiet and wealth, finding him hidden in Zea’s room reading was always a good bet.
Wasn’t like Zea had spent much time there anyhow. Not when there was a certain Welsh booty to be chased after.
The final things packed, Jett got his family moving.
They were halfway through the lobby when a familiar voice rang out.
“Jett! Wait up!”
Oscar rolled his eyes. “Let’s go wait by the doors, Zoe. Dad has to say goodbye to his boyfriend.”
Zoe tried to stay behind, but Jett waved her off as Alfred got closer.
“Come to say goodbye?”
“Yes, and also to tell you I had a very surreal apology at breakfast this morning.”
Jett pretended to look surprised. “Really?”
“Yeah.” Alfred continued, looking startled and honestly confused. “Iggy and Fran sat down with me and said they wanted to apologize for implying that I had unhealthy amounts of body fat, and that they thought I was perfectly fit. Which was a little weird…”
“Hmm.” Jett said, internally smirking. He guessed his little threat had worked out alright.
“Anyhow, guess this is the part where I tell you I’m headed for a visit in three weeks, and to be ready for me. I love you, Oz.”
“Love you too.” Jett said, pulling Alfred into his arms in a hug. Alfred spoke at a whisper in his ear.
“Not going to ask what you did, but thank you. They said they would try to never use those insults again.”
Jett chuckled. “Good. I’ll hold them too it. See you in a few weeks, Yank.”
Alfred watched his boyfriend hurry off towards the airport shuttle, and smiled, glancing down at his little muffin top and big thighs.
If he loves this bit of me, I guess I can learn to love it too.
Even you, thunder thighs.
Alfred smiled a little, heading back to his room to pack. He had to leave to catch his flight in about an hour. He would be in this body for a hundred more years, if not longer.
It was time to learn to love it just the way it was.
I want you to know that I had a really hard time not typing Kyle every time I had to write Jett. I have used both names before, but I used Kyle way more often apparently. Thank god for the find and replace function.
Also, apologies again for just dumping all my personal insecurities onto Alfred. I usually have a fairly good body image until my parents are involved, and given that England is basically Al’s dad, well… it just went downhill from there.
This story can also be found on AO3 and Wattpad. It’s titled “Insecurities” 
AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9494879
Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/365224491-insecurities
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discar · 9 days
Text
HZD Terraforming Base-001 Text Communications Network
Chapter 29 | Prev chapter | Next chapter Chapter Index
Zo: Alva, I wrote up those agricultural practices you wanted.
Zo: [UtaruAgriculture.pdf]
DIVINER: Oh, thanks!!
DIVINER: I hope it wasn't too much trouble!
Zo: No, it was simple enough. Though I think you will find it a little disorganized. I've never had to actually write it down before.
BoyNextDoor: What's all this about? It thought you had already learned more than enough for your people, Alva.
DIVINER: I have! I mean, I think so? I'm still looking. But this isn't about the agriculture, really, it's about comparing what the Utaru have retained or learned over the generations with what the Quen have learned from the Ancestors!
HIMBO: PEER REVIEW!
DIVINER: Not quite, but sort of! I just wanted to see exactly what the differences are!
DIVINER: We can't be sure, but I think that the Utaru are completely divorced from the Ancestors!
β: isnt everyone
β: youre all descended from the cradles no one is technically connected to before
DIVINER: Well, yes, but I mean most other cultures have clear influences from the Ancestors! The Carja developed their religion from ancient books, the Tenakth have their Visions, and the Oseram learned at least some things from ruins.
BoyNextDoor: The Nora didn't learn anything from the Old Ones. The ruins of the Metal World are forbidden.
DIVINER: True, but we don't know exactly to what extent! After all, we know you have at least ruin, the exterior of the Cradle facility!
DIVINER: Besides, the Quen didn't learn hunting from the Ancestors, so there's not an easy point of comparison.
FlameHairSavior: So you want a pure sample. Why, exactly? I mean, I understand getting more information that you might be able to use, but you don't sound like you're looking for better farming techniques.
DIVINER: If I can identify the differences, I can make all sorts of interesting inferences! Maybe improve both of our techniques, if I can see what works in one area and what doesn't in another!
FlameHairSavior: I think you're just having fun.
DIVINER: That too!!
Zo: I suspect that you'll be less impressed with Utaru practices. We do, after all, have a major advantage with the land-gods.
DIVINER: Don't sell yourselves short! Agriculture was never so central to our culture as it is for you! We revere Eileen Sasaki as a great Ancestor, but it was always just a means to an end! We grow food for our population. Nothing more and nothing less.
DIVINER: Your children probably know more about growing plants than most of our experts!
Zo: I suspect that is an exaggeration.
Zo: But thank you.
MARSHAL Kotallo: Do not underestimate the value of specialization. How do you think that the Tenakth were able to fight back the Carja?
BoyNextDoor: Sheer charger-headed stubbornness?
HIMBO: NO, THE OSERAM ARE THE STUBBORN ONES.
MARSHAL Kotallo: [B99SelfBurn.gif]
DIVINER: You used one of mine!!
MARSHAL Kotallo: I've used several of yours already.
MARSHAL Kotallo: Regardless. The point is that, as Alva noted, while the Utaru have some advantages that might have kept them from being pushed to truly innovate, their deep devotion to the very idea of agriculture must have led to some advancements that other cultures would never have discovered.
HIMBO: THE CARJA STILL USE SOME UTARU TO FARM THE MAIZELANDS. EVEN WHEN THEY WERE SLAVES, THEY WERE APPARENTLY THE BEST THAT THEY HAD.
β: they put slaves who hate them in charge of their food
β: couldnt they just sabotage everything
HIMBO: I'D CALL IT CRAZY, BUT IT WORKED.
Zo: No Utaru would sabotage a field. It would be an affront to everything we believe in.
BoyNextDoor: I bet they worked harder once Avad freed them, though.
HIMBO: YEAH, HE TOLD THEM ALL THEY COULD GO HOME, OR STAY AND BE PAID. I THINK... HALF TOOK THE JOBS? ERSA WAS CAPTAIN BACK THEN, SO I DON'T REMEMBER FOR SURE.
Zo: Utaru also become very attached to any fields they sow. They would not leave them easily.
BoyNextDoor: Are you saying they... put down roots?
HIMBO: HA!
DIVINER: Surprise pun from the Nora brave!
MARSHAL Kotallo: [DisapprovalDog.png]
Zo: [ForumWeaponHeadShake267.gif]
FlameHairSavior: It's the quiet ones you have to watch out for.
Zo: That's because the quiet ones understand the value of patience.
β: they know if they wait long enough it will bear fruit
DIVINER: [DeadpoolGasp.gif]
MARSHAL Kotallo: In some parts of the Clan Lands, puns can get you executed.
FlameHairSavior: Really? One little pun? Even for the worst of the Tenakth, that seems a little much.
MARSHAL Kotallo: Unfortunately, yes. My people do not appreciate those who go against the grain.
FlameHairSavior: …
FlameHairSavior: I'm coming back with a ravager cannon and I'm going to shoot you.
Chapter 29 | Prev chapter | Next chapter Chapter Index
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discar · 8 hours
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HZD Terraforming Base-001 Text Communications Network
Chapter 38 | Prev chapter | Next chapter Chapter Index
Icarus: What IS that awful racket?
HIMBO: MUSIC!
Icarus: ...no. It's not.
SilverVixen: Is it pre-Zero Day music? Or did you somehow manage to record something contemporary?
HIMBO: IT WAS MADE BY A COUPLE PEOPLE WORKING ON A DAM. THE PLACE THAT ENDED UP BEING BANUK TERRITORY.
FlameHairSavior: Yellowstone National Park.
HIMBO: YEAH, I THINK I SAW THAT NAME. ANYWAY, I DON'T THINK ANYONE ELSE HEARD IT BESIDES THE LADIES WHO MADE IT. THEY USED THE ENTIRE DAM AS AN INSTRUMENT, SO IT'S TOO BAD NO ONE ELSE KNEW ABOUT THEM.
SilverVixen: Oh God, you've discovered indie music.
DIVINER: Oh my Ancestors, you're right!
HIMBO: I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. BUT IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU GUYS DON'T APPRECIATE TRUE ART.
DIVINER: And he's even a music snob like a true indie fan!!
SilverVixen: I'm tempted to show you some of the classics.
DIVINER: Ummm... does that actually WORK? Or does it just make him a bigger snob?
SilverVixen: Point.
Icarus: Why are you even playing it out loud? You can set it to private easily. In fact, that should be the default.
HIMBO: I WANTED TO SHARE!
ADMIN [Zo]: It's my fault, really. I asked Varl not to smack him for it.
SilverVixen: Spare the rod, spoil the child.
DIVINER: ...that sounds horrible. I mean, if I have the context right.
MARSHAL Kotallo: Makes perfect sense to me.
FlameHairSavior: I'm not sure I want to hear about Tenakth child-rearing techniques.
DIVINER: You don't actually beat your children, do you??
MARSHAL Kotallo: I don't have any children myself. But no, of course not.
MARSHAL Kotallo: Punishment is an important part of any sort of teaching method. No cook is more careful than the one who has cut his hand. You cannot learn to dodge a blow unless someone tries to hit you.
ADMIN [Zo]: I understand the basic principle, though I disagree with any sort of physical retribution.
MARSHAL Kotallo: Not every problem can be solved by waiting three months. Sometimes more immediate consequences are required.
HIMBO: CAN WE NOT TALK ABOUT HITTING ME?
DIVINER: Okaaay...
DIVINER: Sylens, what kind of music do you listen to?
Icarus: Very little. I found some interesting atmospheric melodies, but I mostly use them as background noise, so nothing with lyrics.
FlameHairSavior: Huh, I almost expected you to say you only listened to some weird math thing.
Icarus: Ha ha. There is no "weird math thing" music.
DIVINER: You haven't found Rush????
SilverVixen: Remind me to show you Rush.
SilverVixen: Oh.
DIVINER: [Squee.gif]
FlameHairSavior: Of COURSE there's some weird math thing that Sylens would like.
DIVINER: There's something for everyone! From Norwegian Death Metal to Pop Rap, the old world was full of music!
SilverVixen: Really, it was. I preferred the classics, of course, but sometimes it seemed like every other kid was inventing a new genre.
FlameHairSavior: What do you do in your spare time, Sylens? You can't be plotting and scheming all the time.
Icarus: I prefer to watch documentaries.
FlameHairSavior: Of course.
DIVINER: Wait wait! What kind of documentaries?? Because I doubt you care about, like, the biography of the first president of the United States or whatever??
Icarus: There is a fascinating series called "How it's Made," which are short videos on what were, at the time, ubiquitous parts of daily life. There is a similar series with higher production on the History Channel, though as the name implies, that focuses more on the people and the history.
DIVINER: Oh I love that series!!
DIVINER: But the Quen weren't able to get much useful from it! So much of the data is corrupted! I don't think we have a single video about advanced technology!
Icarus: Unfortunately, I was not able to find much more that was useful. I did find an interesting video on how to build an electric engine, but I lacked the materials to replicate it. Besides, GAIA's machines are superior, and more readily available.
HIMBO: I'M SURE YOU LEARNED A LOT ABOUT HOW TO DISASSEMBLE AND RE-PURPOSE MACHINES FROM IT, THOUGH.
Icarus: That is true.
FlameHairSavior: Wait, if you couldn't get much technology out of this show, why do you like it so much?
FlameHairSavior: What kind of things did you learn from it?
Icarus: ...
Icarus: Cheese.
FlameHairSavior: I'm sorry, did you just say that you like to watch a show about how to make CHEESE?
Icarus: Yes.
DIVINER: Are you EMBARRASSED?
Icarus: I do not see how that is relevant.
HIMBO: LIKE, WHAT, CHEESE FROM A GOAT?
MARSHAL Kotallo: It's not all that complicated.
Icarus: The chemistry is quite fascinating, and the old world used a very interesting process to increase efficiency. And they used milk from an entirely different animal, which was never reintroduced into the ecosystem.
SilverVixen: Oh right, you don't have cattle.
SilverVixen: That means none of you will ever have a proper steak au poivre with cognac and frites.
FlameHairSavior: I refuse to believe those are real words.
SilverVixen: It's French.
SilverVixen: So no, they're not real words.
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