#oh god oh fuck he's broken
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Sonic Broke. What's Next? (IDW)
For those who might know, quite some time ago I wrote about Sonic’s next emotional arc in the IDW comics, where he won’t be so immediately trusting of new faces after what happened to Mr. Tinker. I analyzed how this new dynamic is characterized through his interactions with Belle and was justified by the events of the metal virus arc and, more specifically, the way in which everyone piles onto Sonic for his decision to keep Mr. Tinker alive.
Espio’s done it. Shadow’s done it. Zavok’s done it. Metal Sonic’s done it. Starline’s done it. Eggman’s done it. Sonic’s done it. So many people have put Sonic down for this one decision; this one decision has backfired in so many ways, but Sonic, ultimately, never lost faith, never lost hope, never lost his optimism for a better world where everyone has even a little bit of good in them. This optimism is one of Sonic’s key defining characteristics that shines through every single continuity of this franchise and every single iteration of this character.
But this is it. This. Is. It. Chekhov’s gun has fired, and Sonic has fucking broke.
This collapse hits Sonic in two waves, the first one being his first confrontation with Surge.
Surge says everything the others have said regarding Sonic’s “moral code,” but her specific language illustrates the key difference between her and everyone else—and why it hits Sonic so hard. Everyone else in Sonic’s life is adjacent to Eggman’s terrorism, but Surge is a victim of it. And what makes matters worse is that she’s only brought in this mess through a chain of command.
If Sonic ended Eggman, Starline wouldn’t have been able to bring Eggman back, nor experience the apprenticeship that turned him against Eggman and sent him on the path of creating enforcer cyborgs—which means that Kit and Surge would not exist in the state they do now, and they would be able to live happy lives. Even if after ending Eggman, Starline would have still surfaced on a track of “Eggman Avengement,” the same argument could be made, because Sonic would have directly spared Starline, too, and he knows it. If only for a second, something clicks.
The collapse finishes in one fell swoop in his third confrontation with Surge, where she spells it out for him further, and where a technical fault on Eggman’s Device, of all things, saves his life by almost surging hers.
Sonic has now, for the first clear and objective time, seen the true consequences of his decision, and for the first clear and objective time, he cannot fix it.
This isn’t the same as Metal Sonic, who, as a (sentient) robot, serves a purpose outside of replicating Sonic (he’s a protector, an attack robot, and a companion to Dr. Eggman). Surge once had a life of her own, one she no longer remembers because, through a sick and twisted train of events, Sonic has deprived her of those memories, that freedom. Surge isn’t a robot. Surge isn’t an android. Surge is a real, tangible person that Sonic’s decision has thoroughly fucked up, and Surge has just framed him—not his choices, HIM—as the key reason she’ll never be free. She will either kill him or die trying, and either way, Sonic cannot win.
In the first second he can breathe, let alone process everything that just happened, Sonic… can’t. He has nothing to say—not in front of Tails, at least, but maybe nothing, at all. Until this point, Sonic has wondered if he, specifically, was to blame for Eggman’s actions because he was the one to let Mr. Tinker go. However, this is the first time where Sonic seems to question whether he should have let Mr. Tinker go, at all.
When Eggman emerges from the rubble, Sonic isn’t smug. He’s not amused. He’s not even bemused. Sonic is gutted and disgusted by the fact that Eggman’s still alive. He might even feel guilty that he’s still alive.
Eggman doesn’t know sympathy, doesn’t know remorse—not in Sonic’s eyes, not anymore, and it shows, because when Eggman has the audacity to ask for another truce—
—Sonic could fucking kill him for it.
Sonic’s always hated Eggman, but he’s also always had faith in his ability to be good. However, what Sonic has learned from all this—what Sonic finally believes down to his core—is that Dr. Eggman is lower than the scum of the earth. Sonic finally understands why Eggman helped stop the arc, why Eggman worked with him to fight the Deadly Six, and why Eggman helped eradicate the metal virus. Sonic finally understands that he mistook Eggman’s ever-cunning, manipulative mind for a shred of benevolence.
Now, what does this mean?
Now that we’ve witnessed the breaking point, I think it will take a fair bit of effort to pull Sonic back from the brink of rage. He’s not going to give up on Surge—not at all—because if he did, he might truly fucking lose it, but there is no way that Sonic will be entirely unchanged by this. In the future, when he’s placed in another complicated situation and given a difficult choice to make—especially if it has to do with Eggman—we might not see even a shred of lenience.
I thoroughly believe that the primary narrative purpose of the IDW comics, as they currently stand, is to investigate Sonic’s tenant optimism and push it far beyond its limits. This story’s purpose is to interrogate and observe Sonic’s declining psychological state until it shatters. This story’s purpose is to stand by one of this franchise’s biggest arguments: Sonic’s big, big emotions cause problems, and his inability to cope with those emotions makes problems worse.
When Sonic’s happy, he’s ecstatic, when he’s confident, he’s cocky, when he’s sad, he’s depressed, and when he’s angry, he’s livid. And all of these emotions, without balance, can come crashing down around him.
We’re seeing this fact so prevalent in the movies, Sonic Frontiers and especially Sonic Prime (which takes the direction that the movies do and turns it up to eleven). However, in the same ways they weaken him, Sonic’s emotions give him strength. Without his optimism, Sonic would have fallen, long ago. Without his optimism, Surge will never have a chance to see a better future for herself. It’s all counterbalanced by how big his heart is and how much he evidently wants to be better and do right by others.
And if there’s anything he’d die trying to do, it’s that.
#sonic the hedgehog#dr eggman#surge the tenrec#sonic emotions#idw sonic#idw sonic 56#idw sonic 56 spoilers#idw sonic spoilers#character analysis#sonic's emotional characterization#oh god oh fuck#oh god oh fuck he's broken#sonic is broken#sonic optimism#sonic characterization#sonic characters#chekhov's gun#pow#i KNEW it was all building to something#idgaf what anyone says -- this comic is good#HELP#also the art in this issue is fucking phenomenal
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OOH YEAH BABY! PARTY TIME BABY! MUSIC! DRINKS! SOCIAL PRESSURE & A PSYCHEDELIC BREAK DOWN! WELCOME TO VAMPIRE SOCIETY MOTHERFUCKER! ARE YOU SCARED? DO YOU UNDERSTAND YET? ITS OKAY IF NOT. FIRE DISSOLVED IT! ITS ALL GONE NOW. HAVE FUN!
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#RRAAHH IM IN LOVE WITH THIS SHOW SOOO GOODDAMN MUCH!! each o these characters has STOLEN my HEART!!!#LIKE EMIZEEELLL i love emizel so much.. runnin around announcing that HE isa PRINCE while shiloh FINALLY quietly clicks the pieces together#nathan hanover you MADMAN!!! that slow dramatic guitar riff as emizel makes that announcement was so fuckin COOL UGHHHH#MR HANOVER DOES IT AGAIN just creating tracks that absoultely WORM into my MIND and HHEAARRT UUGHHGHH#emizel is so cool and so funny and so adorable UUGHH ill gush abt him more when i finally post my emizel n soda doodle page#ARTHUR FUCKING BENNET. i totally get why grizz has a hard time playing him. hes cool and stoic n its not easy to play a man o little words#BUT BBOOOY DOES HE DO IT WELL!! arthur DOES come off as so stoic n cool & it just makes his lil misfortunes all the more charming#like falling into the red fear or confrontin edward twilight or accidentally doing lsd. I LOVE THATS HES THE BAD LUCK GUY.#okay uhhu uhh i have limited room here what else should i say uhh. THE NPCS. MY GOD THE NPCS. CHARLIE U WONDERFUL MADMAN#edward twilight is SUCH a funny fucking antagonist. and supposedly his magic stuff is super scary?? SO EXCITED TO SEE MORE OF THAT#ill ramble abt mr deacon keller later eheh i have a. uh. a doodle page in the works. so in the meantime DAYBRINGER SOLOMON!!#“HERE COMES THE SUN MOTHERFUCKER!” “ILL SEE YOU IN HELL. NOT. IM GOING TO HEAVEN. BITCH.” like come on now. oh my god. i need him#BIG POWERFUL BEAST AND EVERY WORD HE SAYS HAS ME CRACKING UP. THE MUFFLED VOICE IN THE DARK BROKEN BY “LIGHT!”#TRULY HILARIOUS AND YET TRULY HORRIFYING. I FUCKIN LOVE CHARLIE NPCS SO MUCH. I HOPE WE SEE HIM AGAIN OHH MY GOOOODDD#OKAYokay. im normal now. ill talk abt the piece. if u read my tags this far then u get special secret knowledge abt the artistic process#IM VERY HAPPY WITH MY COLORS! i know they were hallucinating on drugs so i just recalled the times i did drugs & used that as my influence#REMEMBER KIDS! acid is totally fine if ur safe and responsible about it. do acid and then stare at my art for a bit trrruuust me. IT MOVES!#anyway i think thats all my thoughts here. thank you for looking at my art n thanku if ur one o the ppl that says nice things in the tags#U are LITERLY my life blood i pick up each of u n kiss u so sweetly on the head. remember to try acid!!!!
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we all talk about how cool it is that Kallus is part of a Lasat prophecy (because it obviously is), but I feel that no one talks about the objectively hilarious fact that Hondo is also part of that prophecy
#I mean#imagine the Ashla Bendu and Bogan just chilling out as gods do#Ashla: oh yeah for the child I’ve picked a man whose lost his faith because he feels so guilty for his perceived failure#lira san will ease his heart and take some of his burden#For the warrior I’ve chosen a broken man who only wanted to protect and who’s terrified of his mounting failures#Lira san will help bring him to the light so he can see the error of his ways and foster a true family to protect#The bogan (high as fuck): yeah and the fool will be this random washed up pirate who refuses to die. He doesn’t even know what Lira san in#AND THEN THEY JUST ROLL WITH IT?#Y’all just KNOW hondos trying to find a way to monetize this#star wars rebels#swr#sw rebels#star wars#agent kallus#alexsandr kallus#zeb orrelios#garazeb orrelios#hondo ohnaka#Lasat theology
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Are you going to keep Goosefeather's curse? If so are you going to change anything about it? From my memory the book was... depressing.
It will probably get rolled into Pinestar's Crusade, building it up into an SE rather than just a novella. There's actually a lot going on in that specific moment, and it makes sense to go over it all at once.
So to answer your question, yes, most of Goosefeather's Curse is staying. Most of the Crusade Generation have depressing stories to tell. If the Thistle Period is defined by the fact that Thistle Law metastasized and went terminal, and if the Campaign Era was when it was newly born, then the Crusade Era was when it was first conceived.
I've been thinking about Pinestar's Crusade idly and mentioned it a few times, but here's my fragments so far;
PINESTAR'S CRUSADE
(Fuses Pinestar's Choice and Goosefeather's Curse)
We start in the Crusade Era; there is now more focus on 3 major characters, though it's still built around Pinestar as the POV
Pinestar, Goosefeather, and eventually Pinepaw's apprentice Speckletail.
Pinepaw is born into the start of the Crusades, a bloody period where the Clans are invading Chelford and brutalizing cats in the hopes of appeasing StarClan. He only begins to learn the full story of what happened in Darkstar's Commandment once he begins going to Gatherings as a warrior
The truth being that Oakstar came up with this idea because he couldn't take an L
But even as an apprentice, it becomes quickly apparent to him that what they're doing is evil. They were brutalizing kittypets who aren't trained to fight back.
During his first raid as an apprentice, he allows a ginger-and-white mother and her kittens to escape
This came back years later, when that queen, Crystal, forms BloodClan in response to the Crusades.
Pineheart watches Oakstar die barely a year later to the queen he saved, using early claw extenders to cut right through him. Even if he hadn't been on his last life, it would have ended him.
But, Crystal lets Pineheart go, recognizing the Clan cat who had saved her life.
Watching his dad die along with several friends, and countless more innocent Chelford, plus being released by Crystal, is a Formative Moment.
Doestar continues the Crusades in the name of revenge for Oakstar, but now that BloodClan exists and is ARMED, the easy raids become bloodbaths.
They slowly peter out, not with a bang but with a whimper. She never announces an official end, eventually she just stops organizing them. No one gets closure, especially not Pineheart.
But the 'peace' doesn't last. Just before Heatherstar takes power from Smallstar and begins the Campaign to take the Mothermouth Moorland, ThunderClan deals with the Great Hunger
Pineheart and Goosefeather become very good friends, part of a little buddy group that also included Tawnyspots and Pheasantfeather (who will become One-eye later)
Pineheart was given his first apprentice, a rowdy little one and the niece of Doestar, Specklepaw. He's tasked with helping her fill the pawsteps of greatness she's destined to walk in.
Just like canon, Goose predicts the Great Hunger... though, he is an adult this time around because of some timeline changes.
And, like canon, it fails. They couldn't stockpile enough food to last an entire year of famine, a scorching summer and a frozen winter, they end up losing a huge stock of their food as if it was destiny.
Goosefeather was forced into a role he hates, given horrible visions of the future, and argues ferociously with Pineheart; if they hadn't tried to stockpile, they wouldn't have lost all that food to begin with.
It is in this moment, he comes to realize that every time he's fought back and used his visions like a warning, it's backfired.
So, perhaps, they are instruction.
But, meanwhile, Pineheart can't loose his apprentice or his friends. While others were hunting desperately, he was keeping cats alive through scouting for grubs, foraying into other territories, and...
Every bite of kittypet food he took for himself was a morsel in someone else's mouth. But this... this he kept quiet.
It started a "bad habit" he could never break.
Having lost the previous deputy to starvation and on her deathbed, Doestar nominates Pineheart to the position. He was shocked and upset by this, but he was the obvious choice.
Son of Oakstar, Hero of the Hunger, the cat who had kept Specklepaw alive when all the other kits and apprentices starved.
But, Pinestar took the helm to extreme controversy.
Everything Pinestar's ever done that worked was nonviolent. He's never seen battle do anything but bring harm, and the thought of leading people into war... it makes him feel sick.
But the rest of the Clan can't see what he sees. They yearn for the glory days (even though they were not glorious at all), itch to die for a cause, and leave this old, disgusting subsistence survival behind them. ThunderClan wants blood and Pinestar just wants peace.
Taking back Sunningrocks is an example of this. To avoid losing Clanmates, he proposed to Hailstar that they would have a Joust, instead.
ThunderClan's strongest against RiverClan's strongest. Adderfang vs Mudfur.
It didn't go well.
The problem with those sorts of situations is you have to abide by the deal. RiverClan took Sunningrocks for 6 months. It was humiliating for ThunderClan.
Even the cats he'd saved from the famine were furious with him
The only things that DID seem to please the Clan was when he would throw them fully into battle. Such as Goosefeather's prophecy that WindClan's herbs needed to be destroyed...
Every time a situation like that happened, where Goosefeather would phrase things as a Holy Struggle, Pinestar was thrown right back to the Crusades
Terrified eyes, screeching, cats begging for mercy, his father dead at his paws and feeling horror and relief swirling
Sitting vigil for old friends killed in these horrible fights, like Moonflower, it made him feel like how he felt the day he buried Oakstar.
And the bile rose in his throat, remembering that Oakstar was not there at his Leadership Ceremony, damned to the Dark Forest.
A thought was born, here. What does StarClan truly want? What do they expect of him? If they will send the architect of the Crusades there...
What of a cat who stayed fed on human food and fed grubs to his Clanmates? Or a leader who never knows the right thing to do?
When Mumblefoot retired and Sunfall became deputy, the Clan seemed to love him more than Pinestar. He found himself just... sitting back, and allowing Sunfall to call the shots.
It was towards the end, when Leopardfoot proposed an Honor Siring. He was from a glorious legacy, she wanted kits... and on his end, he wanted the peace that raising kittens could bring.
The warmth of human dens was calling him, but perhaps the warmth of love for children could keep him home.
UNLIKE CANON; Nothing about Tigerkit was born evil.
There was no StarClan vision of Tigerstar; Goosefeather knew full well that Thistlestar was the Leader of Prophecy.
But Pinestar would never give Thistleclaw an apprentice in time. Nor would he ever give his own little son to a cat as vicious as him.
Goosefeather never hurt anyone... but Pinestar just needed a push.
Pinestar was already anxious, unhappy, clinging to the goodness that was his little kits. Even as two of them were lost to minor illnesses, shortly after receiving their names.
It wasn't a lie. It was just half of the truth.
"Pinestar... you have a choice to make. StarClan has given me a vision of blood and war, and Tigerkit will have a role to play in it."
He DID have a vision... of Thistlestar. Not Tigerkit. But that was enough for Pinestar, his fear and trauma took the helm from there.
He'd seen his friends, his apprentice, the kits who had been born and died in his rule, all of them turn into the monsters Clan Culture demanded
Nothing he did ever seemed to work, why would THIS moment be different?
How could he prevent Tigerkit from becoming like that too?! Was StarClan telling him to KILL his son??
Pinestar's never had a vision from StarClan. He doesn't have the aptitude like a Cleric... what he has is a nightmare, of Tigerkit growing so large he crushes the whole camp under his claws
After a week of agony, Pinestar unknowingly creates a prophecy of his own,
"Can only the death of a child break fate?"
Sensing he was close to victory, Goosefeather dipped his head, not denying his question.
And it's the last straw.
And that is the climax of Pinestar's Crusade. Broken from his experiences, every turn taken for peace causing him more pain, the idea that he might have to hurt his own son plaguing his mind, he makes the choice to leave.
It wasn't hard, he'd still had that old bad habit of taking bites of kittypet food, a couple friends on the other side. But what he doesn't know is that by leaving with his life... he prevents Sunstar from acquiring his own.
Sunstar had ONE single life, StarClan was not able to give him more with the previous leader still alive. For leaving his Clan, for unknowingly preventing the transfer of power, and for dismissing the Warrior Code, Pinestar is sent to the Dark Forest after his death.
He can choose to walk there, or spend time in the mortal plane as just a spirit, but StarClan offers him no place in the cosmos.
#Pinestar's Crusade#Better Bones AU#So yeah it's still depressing LMAO sorryyyy#im a sucker for the theme where someone you raised and loved became part of an evil system#failure to protect. How COULD you have done differently? Was there anything at all that could have saved them?#i've mentioned it before but I love Pinestar most as the foil of Firestar#and it's very underexplored as an idea#How Firestar succeeded where Pinestar failed#Literally like a brighter version of you#someone who never gave up past the point where you would have broken#and how painful and uncomfortable that idea must be#It doesssss things to me#Also I am still shuffling the timeline#Pinestar might end up being old enough to remember Mapleshade... BUT we'll see#It might be pretty funny to have Pinepaw watch his dad take several Ls in Darkstar's Commandment#''this is my cringefail boomer dad who I have a complicated relationship to. he cannot swim. oh god. oh fuck''
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(So, I've been working on screencapping most of his films. Also, I'm working on making my Screencaps as crisp and as clear as humanly possible. This scene from Diary of a Madman made me stop in my tracks. For obvious reasons, I had to share these caps of this scene.)
Vincent Price as Magistrate Simon Cordier
Diary of a Madman (1963) // dir. Reginald Leborg
#vincent price#diary of a madman#the horla#guy de maupassant#evil#screencaps by me#photos by me#my edits#PLEASE ....#whatever you're doing...stop...and look atHIM#for fucks sakes#he had no right to be this fucking beautiful#the eyes...oh my GOD#like..i would totally crawl on broken glass to get a crumb of this man...#SO SEXYYYYY#even sexier knowing that he had an infant daughter during the making of this film...#oh DADDY#horror#old horror movies#vintage#movie#actor#handsome#bicon#bisexual god#UNFFFFFF
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i award this trophy to Casero Delilah Bard
#i’m rereading Threads and oh my god#she is so fucking in love#the fact that lila bard CANONICALLY cannot sleep without her ginger idiot beside her makes me feel so many things#and her no telling her about the new antari in white london bc ‘he has enough to worry about’#and the way her fingers ‘ache to heal him’#and the way she’s always running her fingers through his hair#and the way his scream ‘tore through her’#and the way she can read him so well and always just wants him to be ok#and she shows him that he is never weak#and she’s always looking to a way to stop him hurting and fix what’s broken#and she is always always always thinking of him and doing anything to protect him#my heart is so happy and it hurts so much#the fragile threads of power#adsom#a darker shade of magic#shades of magic#kell maresh#lila bard#kellila#threads of power
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did you guys know that, well, the cruelty is the point
#i love this entire scene sooooo bad it's so delicious#flaunting the tadpole abilities and what he's capable of -- he's broken free of cazador somehow AND he can withstand the sun#and THEN once they leave. he attempts to manipulate tav in suuuuch a genuinely horrible way like#oh well of course i feel bad for them. i mean they're FORCED to do cazador's bidding. but no matter!#i'm fine sacrificing them for my own gain :) or rather... for OUR gain :)#this will keep both of us safe :) and... well... you want me to be safe right? :) you want me to be happy right? :)#this isnt him at his worst by any means but god it's soooo so good after how his act 2 arc is if youre romancing him#he's open and vulnerable and tells tav all about his plans and how he's been manipulating them this whole time#only to do it in a fun and new and interesting way all over again. but this time youre already 100% on his team#ANYWAY. i like when he's a bit fucking terrible#bg3#playing bg3#astarion#act 3 is really just a whole new beast to me at this point. how fun. i only got here once before and it was buggy and barely worked#sorry. i will be soooo deeply annoying as i rotate everyone in my head like little rotisserie chickens for the next few days#really thinking about how elluin is dealing with seeing this - she understands feeling like power will fix everything and keep her safe#but unlike astarion is capable of thinking long-term and about consequences#so this has her shaking in her fucking boots. and really has her grappling with the reality of their relationship#so until they actually get to the szarr palace and deal with the ritual... she's super withdrawn with astarion and even with the others#she wants him to be safe bc it means that she can realistically be safe since they're weird little mirrors for each other#but also. does safety exist without it becoming warped and horrifying#sorry. i will be normal again eventually
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Every day I sit here or lie in bed thinking about how much purity culture destroyed me.
#and then my parents have the audacity???#to try and tell me that 'sex was created by God tho!!!'#yes and God was used to ruin my perception of sex#I can only read about it or draw it to explore my interests#I have absolutely zero interest in it being done to me physically#which is both purity culture and personal perception of my body#which does not change no matter what I do to try and love myself#anyway this was brought on because I'm listening to ppl talk about Girl Defined#Horrible channel btw please don't watch any of their videos#What they preach is misinformation at best and culty at worst#and this particular video is talking about how a GUY#WHO BECAME A SEX THERAPIST????#thought his wife was broken cuz she hated being intimate w/ him#and he would be like 'oh well srry ur broken we're gonna fuck anyway tho cuz //I// need it'#??????????????????????????????????????????#AND THEN I GUESS THEY DISCOVERED IT WASN'T HER#I'M NOT THROUGH IT YET THIS IS A BAD RIDE#BUT I CANNOT SEEM TO GET OFF#anyway back to drawing#fyi I don't have a problem w/ God I have a problem w/ Christians#There is a difference and you will respect that thank u
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People be like "Wow you're so self aware" like hunny I AM myself? What the fuck else am I supposed to be aware of?
#the electricity humming >_< or the repulsive sound of myself chewing food#very aware. i could do with being less aware#this is a joke btw being self aware is generuinely hard and not common. and i dont say that to brag i say it because#some people struggle with self awareness and thats normal#oh my god my brain is broken#ive been watching too much bo burnham#that sentence was almost 'some people struggle with self awareness. and they should :D'#not that that sentiment isnt true. jyst that in this context (where im claiming to be self aware) it feels like a fucked up thing to say#because none of you know i say the samd things to myself#*cue applause* 'yay! hes a dick to everyone equally!' 😅#i fucked up the instant i brought up myself and other peopld in the same post honestly
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if you see me losing my mind in the reblog tags just don't. don't talk to me. i'm going through it right now i don't smoke but i need the effects of at least ten cigarettes injected directly into my veins
#fearandhatred#i'm past wanting to be blackout drunk i need to do drugs#the suit he's wearing with the kilt. fuck me#the#oh my god#be serious#i need my bones broken#david tennant#his fucking shoulders#head in my hands how am i supposed to continue
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Okay, so I know this is probably NOT how it's going to go at all, but I think a really, really interesting take for the Ruins DLC (or just A Post-Fire AU in-general), would be for the fire itself to have snapped the animatronics out of the viruses hold. Like, the sheer damage or security/self-preservation protocols it instills straight up is enough to short circuit the virus and snap them all back to reality.
Imagine the horror of finding out what they've done, what they've been forced to endure, and what's happened to their home all because someone had control over their bodies and minds and it took an entire fucking fire bringing the building down to free them from it. Ouugh.
#im thinking mostly about roxanne losing her face in the ruins dlc#oh god poor roxy#monty looking down at his half body and wondering what the hell happened to him#dj waking up from bouncer mode with no memory of what happened once he fell asleep and why he's suddenly so broken#chica panicking at her sudden inability to speak and the fact that she's all burned and broken#sun and moon going through the trauma of their system fighting for control for each side while being slowly burned alive#man this shit gonna hurt!!!!#i mean theyre probably all still in virus mode in the dlc but could you fucking imagine!!!!#ALSO WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO FREDDY#WHERE IS MY DAD. WHERE IS MY FATHER.#i care not for the potential 'new villain' nonsense i just Want My Dad
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the way Miguel conceptualises the alternate self and Gabriella is sooooooooo ahdhdjfj god he’s so mentally ill and emotionally isolated. like, he views himself and the other Miguel as functionally synonymous (“I found a universe where I was happy”) and thus sees Gabriella as essentially as much his own daughter as she was to the man she actually knew.
#miguel o'hara#miguel and spiderverse’s silence on our Miguel’s family life just leads me to think they’re either dead or the relationships he had w them#are so broken as to be unsalvageable#but man. MAN. he wanted that life so badly he considers himself to be synonymous with alt Miguel. And his attachment to Gabriella IS one#defined by him going that’s my daughter 🥺❤️ oh her dad is dead? I’m also her dad! and that life looks so happy and SHE is what makes it so#why can’t we both have that.#god. he needs therapy he needs ALL of the therapy and also like. a hug. dude. you’re so damn depressed my guy 😔#im thinking spiderverse the narrative doesnt dig into the whole. you didnt RAISE this girl miguel thing ik you love her but you're not her#father thing because theres already sm going on in the narrative and its more streamlined to keep his conflict solely on the canon conflict#but in world id wager the reason other characters dont dig into that with him is because like. how do you even approach a conversation like#that. for all the messy and fucked up moral complications theres no doubt that miguel SINCERELY loved gabriella. and considering timeline#wise this all went down a few months ago and everyone has been busy mopping up anomalies. ofc no one wants to have this conversation if it#doesnt look like it needs to be had <- miguel just slowly losing his emotional gourd in the corner over just. ALL of this lmao#tunes talks spiderverse
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this is so weird but last night i had a dream that brett goldstein saved my life from a dangerous situation and bad people so now i can’t look at him the same like. he’s got my full trust LMAO. we met in the spiritual realm or some sh!t
#🐈⬛#i was like oh my god roy fucking kent himself. i owe you so much#he’s so annoying for not doing a comedy show in my city tho#part of me is like is this a metaphor for ted lasso as an entity saving my broken soul from the recent hardship i’ve been in... nah.#brett astral realm hero#brett goldstein#roy kent#ted lasso
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A Pearl by Mitski is kinda post Jaylex into Jam territory if you think about it.
Hello? Mind reader?? You are so correct???
This is even better mind reading because of what I was writing like right before I remembered i had this ask and wanted to answer it and shit. Like???? This is very much post Jaylex and into Jam, BUT it is also post Jaylex the first time they "broke up" oh my god.
Hang on, I'll explain it with the lyrics lol
Lyric analysis time because for some reason this is like my favourite thing to do when I wanna think about sorry its locked but can't actually write it for whatever reason.
You're growing tired of me
You love me so hard and I still can't sleep
You're growing tired of me
And all the things I don't talk about
SO ABOUT THAT POST JAYLEX'S FIRST 'BREAK UP' ehehhehehehehehheheh. Right, so, after Alex started dating Amy in college, Jay did (eventually) start trying to, like, date and have sex with other people. He never really managed to date anyone, it was always just not-quite-actually-casual casual sex. And they always ended up getting tired of Jay, because they were trying their best and he was hung up on Alex still (and would be for the next rest-of-his-life) And Jay never actually talked to them about why he was the way he way, just learned to warn them ahead of time to try and scare them away so that he wouldn't end up getting hurt when they inevitably got too upset with him over something and broke it off with him.
And, obviously. Yeah, Jam. Jay's so worried that the same thing that happened with Alex and all the other people is gonna happen with Tim, and if it did it'd probably break him even worse than Alex did, honestly. Purely because the stuff with Tim would stack on top of the stuff with Alex and they'd become one thing and Jay would just not know how to deal with that literally at all.
Sorry, I don't want your touch
It's not that I don't want you
Sorry, I can't take your touch
Pre first Jaylex break up. Yeah. One of the reasons Jay got broken up with by at least one person was that they were meant to behaving casual sex, and Jay went through a period of time where he just, really really couldn't. Which like, fair, and fair i guess for the person being like, yeah i'll go find someone else to have sex with. but also they did it in a nasty way so never mind, fuck them lmao. (I just love putting Jay through shit lmao, I'm so sorry to that poor guy, I need to write a lil fluffy oneshot of him and Tim just being okay)
It's just that I fell in love with a war
Nobody told me it ended
And it left a pearl in my head
And I roll it around every night
Just to watch it glow
Every night, baby, that's where I go
Ow. Just. Ow.
Cos, yeah, Jay did. He really, really did fall in love with a war didn't he? That whole relationship with Alex was just this constant series of battles with himself and his feelings for Alex, and battles with Alex himself because of how he treated Jay and how Jay wanted to be treated. And his brain can't fully comprehend that Tim's not going to just be the exact same as everyone else, the exact same as Alex. And the thing is that Tim IS going to be different, but they're not going to have enough time for Jay's head to actually wrap itself around that so that he can believe it.
And obviously, they never could get enough time, because of all the shit with the operator, but Tim at least is holding out hope that they'll both survive is and they'll get the time afterwards.
Sorry, I don't want your touch
It's not that I don't want you
Sorry, I can't take your touch
Jay's so scared that having issues with intimacy is gonna fuck up his chances with Tim, but it wont. Logically he knows it wont (and I refuse to make them angsty enough that Jay wouldn't bother to say no if he didn't wanna do something) but there is still this little part of his head that says that if he goes too long not wanting to have sex, it'll somehow fuck something up.
There's a hole that you fill
You fill, you fill
Also I fully intend for Jay to be very unhealthy about Tim :] Just like he was very unhealthy about Alex (especially back in college)
Poor guy's gonna fucking idolize Tim once he realizes Tim really really actually likes him. Which, y'know. Not good. Thankfully Jay's lil eventual obsession or whatever it is (idk, a hyperfixation on a person? that's what I called it. Basically, pretty much every waking thought Jay has is somehow about Tim/reminds him of Tim, if Tim is even slightly in a bad mood Jay assumes it's because of him and gets viciously terrified that Tim's going to leave him and hate him forever, he'd accept any kind of 'penance' or punishment from Tim for whatever he did wrong, if anything bad happens to Tim Jay get's violently enraged and wants to 'fix it' the quickest way possible, etc. He basically feels like Tim is perfect and he can't live without him. idk if that makes sense? I'm tired and never figured out what the fuck this thingy is, but i'm giving it to Jay)
Tim is Jay's missing piece, and Jay's going to hack at his own edges to make sure that Tim fits him, just like he did back in college to try and make Alex fit him.
He's just made up of pieces of himself and other people that he sawed off and cobbled together to make sure that the person he was in love with would perfectly 'complete' and 'fix' him.
But it's just that I fell in love with a war
And nobody told me it ended
And it left a pearl in my head
And I roll it around every night
Just to watch it glow
Every night, baby, that's where I go
Just to watch it glow
goddamnit now i wanna plan a fic to dive into Tim and Jay's relationship after sorry its locked and before Jay dies, just so I can make Jay not okay and Tim not okay, but their brand of not okay works well enough for the short amount of time they have together. If Jay lived they'd have the worlds messiest break up oh my god lmao.
why do i torture them like this?
#Also like oh my god i've been looking for this song for so fucking long because meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee lmao#honestly tho. this is such a perfect song for Jaylex as a whole. and the start of Jam#Mostly it's about Jay just being very unhealthy about all the people he falls in love with#he can't be fixed in the amount of time he has left. but if he lived and didn't end up running the fuck away from Tim i think he could heal#and still stay in a relationship with Tim. but itd be really hard and a LOT of work#they could do it. but also sorry its locked has everyone who dies in canon die in it. because i love the angst of:#“Jay dies in Alex's arms because he can't deny himself the chance to be held by Alex one last time” and:#Alex goes to Tim for help dying because he literally can't kill himself and he's so broken over having to kill Jay that he doesn't care#anymore. And he knows Tim has managed to live with the Operator sickness. so if anyone is left alive. yeah it should be Tim#That's too much words in the tags woops#marble hornets#marble hornets fanfic#alex kralie#tim wright#marble hornets fanfiction#jay merrick#jaylex#mh jam#MH sorry its locked
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Now tell me why Cartman desperately trying to reanimate Kyle (like full on crying??? And begging??????) was one of the most emotional scenes I've seen in this fucking ass show
#I KNOW its in the context of him wanting kyle to. yk. suck his balls and everything#but “youve never given up on anything before. dont give up on life now” WHAT ????? THE FUCK ??!!:(5€(4#him repeating “come on” “PLEASE buddy” ?? them telling him he is gone like 10 times and he just refusing to stop every each of them ???#the HITTING ???? the BROKEN VOICE ?????? THE STRAIGHT UP CRYING ??????????#oh the first little “kyle?” when he saw him and crutched by his side on the floor fucked me up SO much oooh ill never let this scene go#I DONT EVEN LIKE KYMAN !!!!!#I DONT FIND A RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THEM APPEALING !!!!!!!#but GOD if Cartmans crush on him isnt GOOD specially for a character like him fuck#once again#very much a onesided kyman enyojer#kyman#eric cartman#kyle broflovski#south park#sp#nate watches south park
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Which Symbolic Fruit Are You?
Kakavasha~
Clementine
In Chinese culture , clementines , known for their bright orange , waxy exterior , were symbolic of gold , & by extension , wealth , good fortune & abundance . Trees that bear clementines ( or mandarins , as they're also known as ) are often used to decorate the thresholds of Chinese households as a sign of good luck & prosperity .
As lucky as Clementines may be , so are you & those around you . With a sunny disposition , & a knack for seeing the best in everyone , & the good in the world around you , you’re someone who believes that the glass is always half full . Things can always be worse , & they will always get better , one way or another ! Like the vibrant clementines , you're known for bringing light to those who need it , & always bringing laughter to your friend group . However , such a bright exterior can sometimes hide a deep & lingering sadness . Remember : even the light sometimes has to dim , & even the sun has to set . Don't worry ; it'll always come back .
Aventurine~
Pomegranate
The pomegranate is most famously attributed to the Greek goddess , Persephone . Though versions of the story differ : with some of them saying that Persephone was tricked into eating the pomegranate seeds , in order for her to become trapped in the underworld , & some saying she willingly chose to eat the seeds .
Pomegranate's have a hard exterior that is tough to crack . Your hard shell is a natural protectant & keeps you safe from those that only wish to use you . Internally you are rich with bounties . You believe in living your life passionately & vibrantly . The idea of surrendering to a fate of being confined to anything , whether it be a relationship , a job , or family dynamic where you are not happy & lack agency is a terrifying prospect . It is fears like this which also prevent you from opening up & showing vulnerability to those around you . However , like the pomegranate whose seeds sparkle like gemstones , you hide inside you incredible beauty that only the most worthy deserve to see .
Tagged by: @gemkun ( TY! ♥️ )
Tagging: Anyone who hasn’t done this yet since I rolled up late to the party lol.
#Oh. Oh no. What have I done? Why did I ever think taking this for both would end well?#God this is so accurate though.#See: Kakavasha sneaking into Kalican territory to play GAMES with them in order to win back his mother’s necklace for his sister because it#was important to her even though they easily could have killed him & her understandably freaking out & saying in the end it’s just jewelry#but that HE is the most important thing their parents left behind.#See how sweet & friendly & optimistic the personification of Aven’s past was.#Versis how jaded & mean his future self was to him.#Aventurine with hope versus him after he’s been beaten down to the point he no longer tries to get back up. Because his life has been owned#by someone else for so long he doesn’t even feel like he counts as a PERSON half the time.#He puts his life on the line because why wouldn’t he? He’s just an asset. He has no friends or family or home to go back safely to.#But I headcanon strongly that his deeper hidden motivation - that not even he realizes - for going to Penacony is because he wanted a way#of being free from the IPC while still being loyal to them & dying would accomplish that.#‘Some say Persephone willingly chose to eat the seeds.’#Kind of like Aventurine chose to become a Stoneheart. He ASKED Jade for a chance to prove himself. So he could live.#But doing that simply transferred his shackles of ownership from his previous master to the hands of the IPC.#Like Persephone. She got to escape her overbearing mother but the trade off for ‘freedom’ was being trapped in the Underworld.#Hell even Aventurine’s character descriptions say you never know how he really feels because he wears a MASK.#He’s always smiling & friendly. He barely stopped smiling even when Sunday basically gave him a slow acting lethal injection & tortured him#I’m so fucking sad at seeing how Aventurine went from being Kakavasha to so broken & bitter.#He literally views being exploited & exploiting others as the trade off he has to pay in exchange for living.#♣️ ⸻ ᴇxᴘʟᴏɪᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ & ᴛʀᴇᴀᴄʜᴇʀʏ ᴀʀᴇ sɪᴍᴘʟʏ ᴛᴏᴏʟs ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʀᴀᴅᴇ ❮ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ sᴛᴜᴅʏ ❯#♣️ ⸻ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ɴɪɢʜᴛ ɪ’ᴍ ʟɪᴠɪɴɢ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ’s ɴᴏ ᴛᴏᴍᴏʀʀᴏᴡ ❮ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴ ❯#♣️ ⸻ ɪ’ᴠᴇ ɢᴏᴛ ᴍᴏʀᴇ sᴋᴇʟᴇᴛᴏɴs ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴄᴇᴍᴇᴛᴇʀɪᴇs ʜᴏʟᴅ‚ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟɪᴠɪɴɢ ʟɪғᴇ ғᴇᴇʟ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ғᴜɴᴇʀᴀʟ ❮ ᴘᴀsᴛ ❯#♦️ ⸻ ɪ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴛᴜʀɴ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴀ ᴄʜᴀʟʟᴇɴɢᴇ ❮ ᴅᴀsʜ ɢᴀᴍᴇs ❯
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