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quaissants · 3 months

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WRITER'S BLOCK ୨୧ PARK JONGSEONG ˒ JAY

purpose matty ( @stealanity )’s my jay so.. happy leap year- ・ gender neutral reader + word count 627 genre comfort .. online friends (reader only knows him as seong) .. writer! reader warnings mention of snacks .. possible burnout .. very personal so don't mind me — cred. to byhees for the cute layout

what was the point of buying snacks? what was the point of reading through old ideas? what was the point of making a mood playlist? what was the point of turning on the computer?

what was the point of falling into this sequence of events again when everyone but you benefited from it?

type, ponder, backspace. maybe if that little line that followed after every letter had a voice, it’d be begging you to stop. you know what it feels like to run in circles, don’t you? of course you do. that’s why you’ve been unable to fill the blank document with the thoughts that play around in your brilliant but tired mind.

it’s not like they’re not worthy of being released to the world—okay, maybe some of them are better off working as a dust catcher. the point still stands: your soul is brimming with these fantastic ideas, but the issue lies in the worst enemy known to writers.. fleshing out the idea.

how do you even.. there goes the backspacing again.

just the sentence opener sends a chill (read: blizzard) down your cramped arms. it’s bad enough that you have plenty of things crowding your once—actually, has it ever known that word—neat space. now you have to tolerate the eyesore that are these blocks of texts that look to be around over one thousand (1,000) words, but the word counter will always be ready to humble you.

“what even is this?” your spinning chair groans with you, but for its own personal reasons. ignorance really is bliss, especially when your seat sounds like it wants to retire after years of you testing its backrest’s durability.

after being hit by reality by the word counter (you’re past the halfway point, how have you not reached the five hundred (500) word milestone yet?) for what was actually the first time since you opened this document, you’re just about ready to release the defeated exhale and pretend you’re merely seeking out inspiration through looking at other things. it’s way too late in the night to wrestle with your brain cell anyway, so you close the document and watch the tiny cursor fly across the screen to shut the monitor down.

just click the button and repeat the process another day..

your phone’s lockscreen lights up, showcasing a picture of the most gorgeous man you’ve been fawning over for the past few weeks— oh wait, there’s a notification.. nope, make that three.. fine, let’s go with four. curious, you reluctantly open your phone to check the messages.

loveseong⠀:⠀ i miss your writing so much but i also understand that you’re caught in a fight with writer’s block so i’ll busy myself with watching over my empty plate for now..

loveseong⠀:⠀ just know that you’re absolutely talented and smart and brilliant

loveseong⠀:⠀ no matter what happens, i’ll still be here by the time you choose what works best for you

loveseong⠀:⠀ mhm, even if that may be lightyears away okay 😠

he knows. and you yourself have got no clue how he does, but seong has mastered the art of virtually bundling you up in comfort. others can call you mean for thinking this way—they don’t know you as deeply as he did, so their right to judge doesn’t exist—but the physical distance won’t stop your scotch-taped soul from feeling its wholest through his words.

and your mind?

you take your cursor away from the shut down button and open the document once more. the blank space taunts you again; daring you to paint it with the lines that weave themselves in between the crevices of your imagination.

type, ponder, type some more.

you refuse to let the feeling of defeat stain your agile fingers again.

QUAISSANTS, 2024. do not steal or else i bite.

#k-labels #hiraya-m #enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #enha scenarios #enha imagines #jay imagines #jay scenarios #park jay imagines #park jay scenarios #enhypen x reader #enha x reader #park jay x reader #jay x reader

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polygamyff · 4 years

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27. Part 5

I huffed out as I closed the door behind me, back to my parents home where I can just hide away from the shit “hi friend!! Oppss sorry, I am so sorry” Leon said, I chuckled seeing Reign snuggled up in his arms but he made her flinch with the shouting “hey Leon, the hell you doing here? Not busy huh?” Leon rolled his eyes “well someone got to look after my god daughter. You out there riding that rich man you got” shaking my head laughing as I walked over to Leon, leaning down to him and kissed his cheek “I have missed you, where is everyone?” it’s quiet here “I have missed her little face too, but seriously. Where is everyone? I am confused” stroking Reign’ cheek with the back of my hand “well I came, just to see Reign. Your mom said she was here, so I came and then mom and dad needed to go and get some diapers, you didn’t put enough in the bag so they went there, oh my god! I saw Maurice’ interview, bless his heart. He really wanted to make sure that it was all him didn’t he?” sitting down on the couch “yeah he did” I want to hold my daughter but Reign looks so peaceful in Leon’ arms “what you got in the suitcase? Anything I can sell?” Leon never stops “you are dumb, I just got some stuff” I am not about to mention to Leon about what happened, I can’t. It’s a mess, I don’t believe what Maurice did was right. It’s wrong, Malik needs the help, all I can see is that family just rip each other apart, they are vultures and I see this side to Maurice too. I can’t take that, I am not built for that. To see Maurice beat his brother too, I just need to be away from this mess until it dies down, I don’t want my daughter to be around that either. Clearly that family will be at battle so I need to be away from that while they do it, I don’t want to be in the way “oh and she” Leon pointed down “she keeps farting on me, girl got gas. Also” Leon gagged “I changed her diaper, you lucky I love you and her. You wouldn’t ever catch me doing such a thing, but you got to give me credit that I did that. But we been bonding, she farts on me. Mom says its’ love so I will take that” my smile grew, my daughter is something else “she loves you Leon, like me. Her favourite gay uncle, how is things with you, got a man yet? Still being a whore?” Leon is always so busy for me now “whore still, I don’t know, I am just so busy and oh my god, oopss. Sorry baby, I keep shouting, I fucked a straight man, I am telling you. He showed me his girl, he is bi. I mean he is cute so whatever” raising an eyebrow “but he is cheating, Leon stop that” Leon snorted laughing “if your man is undercover gay, I will do him and not tell you. I am joking, I would never. But it was one night that is it” he needs to settle down this boy.

Finally I can hold my daughter “oh my princess Reign, your cries are so cute” bringing her up to my face and pressed kisses to her cheek “mommy is here, I know uncle Leon has been talking too loud” her cries so soft as I placed her over my shoulder, I don’t know why but I just became overcome by emotions “why you crying friend?” Leone frowned “I just missed her, it’s nothing” I sat down smiling as a tear fell “seriously, it’s fine. Just that feeling to have her in my arms” the door opened “we are back, sorry. Oh, what is this?” hearing my mom say, looking behind me “Robbie! You’re home, how was New York?” my mom rushed over to me, she pressed a kiss at the top of my head “it was fine, I just missed her so much. Hey dad” my dad smiled at me “big suitcase? Did you bring Maurice’ jet with you?” I laughed out at my dad “no, just some things” the feeling to have Reign in my arms, my daughter. I just feel so emotional by it “how is things? Your dad saw Maurice’ interview, he looked very uncomfortable and not happy” I sighed out “he was upset, lots of lies mom. What can he do” I think Reign needs feeding “I am going to feed her, I will be back. I am so sorry that you ran out of diapers, I should have gave you more” my parents out here paying out “stop it, she is our grandchild” getting up from the couch.

Rubbing Reign’ back, I am glad to be reunited with Reign. I just don’t feel at ease right now, my engagement ring caught my eye. Staring at it as my hand rubbed Reign’ back, I don’t regret a thing. I am just not liking this whole thing. He exposed Reign, he did what he did but he needs help and that family will not help him. They are throwing him, maybe I am lost and I don’t get that life. I am waiting on the moment where Maurice could throw me, he has power and I see it. His dad will never leave, and I can’t be sure if he would choose me over his dad. I think it’s a bond I couldn’t break, he is hurt by his dad but he loves him like mad. When I see pictures of them together, I seen them on Google, he was on his dad’ lap doing business, that is in his blood but I just think that family is very much a mess, my daughter is that family too and I swear. I will fight them, even though thinking about it. I would lose her if Maurice wanted to be nasty, but I do have his heart. He loves me, but seeing this scares me that I do have to step back from it. I can hold my hands up and admit I am not made for that life but I know, in my heart. I have upset Maurice but I have not fell out with Maurice at all, I just need to step back.

Leon left by the time I came downstairs, placing Reign in the bassinet in the living room “it is nice to have you here, when are you taking her back? I will miss her” my mom asked “uhm, I am staying over for a while” placing the covers over Reign, I don’t know if I want to look at my parents right now “oh why? You both came back, right?” I could say he stayed back “well, we did yes. But I want to stay here” turning to them, I caught my parents staring at each other “I am sure that man is busy, I am sure he would want to see Reign. Did something happen?” I breathed out “well things happen, so like I am staying here” my dad is staring at me with a judging look “did he do something?” my dad asked “oh no, nothing bad just things happened” my mother waved me over “sit down, talk to us. What happened? You can’t stay here Robyn, I mean you can but did he do something really bad?” clearing my throat “he found out that Malik his brother has been leaking things” sitting down slowly “he leaked a picture of Reign in an incubator and then claimed Maurice made her ill with sickle cell, the picture was seen on blogs and it was all him that is why Maurice was saying that in the interview, he found out then. So he came back here, Malik was here and they fought and I didn’t want Maurice to tell Malik to go, I think he needs help for his issues but Maurice refused and has sent him off to his dad’ and I feel like this battle is not over. Nalah said it was good if I was to stay away from the family, to keep us safe” I didn’t want to mention any type of gun, that is too much “the family but not Maurice right? He didn’t do anything Robyn, he was protecting his family, which is you. He didn’t do anything to upset you so why are you running here?” my dad said, I am shocked he is speaking like he liked Maurice “but I thought I am your princess” my dad sat next to my mom “but I saw him, he was protecting you, he was upset when the interviewer exposed you was around. He doesn’t want you exposed to it, I can tell. I saw it. I wanted him to clear your name and he did, he didn’t need too. The man has money to shut us up but he did what I thought he wouldn’t do, live on air. The world to see, Jesus he is Davenport hotels, it’s not small. We are nothing to him. That man did something I am happy with. He has bought Reign into our life too. I love that little girl” I swallowed hard “his family are not easy, he loves his dad so much that I think he would choose his dad over me, I don’t want that near Reign either” my mother sighed out “Robyn baby, think on how he feels. He has to split his love between you and his dad. If you say he loves his dad so much and you know this you shouldn’t strain things” why do my parents have to be like this, they are so free willed “I didn’t like your nana but I dealt with it, I didn’t want to strain your dad” now they are making me feel so bad “maybe I am not built for that life” shaking my head.

Stepping off the jet, it’s amazing how quick I can be in one place and then move on to the next. I am just behind Jay and Lenny with my brother, they went on my dad’ jet and arrived half hour earlier. Climbing into the back of the SUV, the joys of being back in Texas. I really have no reason to be here but I wanted to see what my dad did, I don’t feel bad about it at all. My dad is not a guy to ever care and I know he doesn’t care for Malik at all so good look to him “any suitcases sir?” the driver asked “no suitcases, we can just go” I did assume why he was waiting around, so I guess he assumed I had baggage, I don’t have shit anyways. He closed the door on me, I mean to be honest I am used to it. I mean how many fucking years have I been alone with only Shawn able to see me sometimes, he is busy himself. I think I will fly out to New York after, I am not going back to Cali, Robyn is just doing my head in because she honestly wants to stay away from me, so be it I guess.

Walking into my family home, this shit house that is too big to even know where they are. Stuffing my hands in my pockets as I made my way towards the dining room, family discussions happen there, I know they do. Pushing open the double doors, I always hate how this house is always open, like the doors are always unlocked around here. The maid smiled at me “my dad?” I questioned, she pointed at the dining room “thank you” I knew that myself, my family don’t know I am coming here so it will be a good surprise for my dad. Taking in a deep breath as I pushed open the double doors, I expected my mom, dad and Malik but not the entire family. The speaking stopped, Kellen just stared at me and so did Tiffany, she is not family. I mean I thought they was splitting up, what is this mess “Maurice” Jay walked by me and closed the doors “I want the room cleared” walking around the table “dad” let me just go to the back room “we want to know what is happening to the company, you have a daughter. What happens?” standing next to my dad as he got up “just like Nalah got nothing, she is the same. We are in this even if you don’t want us to be, I want to know what share my family will get when you and your dad go” taking in a deep breath “that is my daughter, you don’t need to worry she gets” turning around, let me continue to walk “she is not family!” my uncle shouted, balling my fist up and punched the table “she is my fucking daughter and she carries my name!” walking off in anger.

“Why are they here?” I asked my dad “I told them about Malik, I wanted them to know. They needed to know, you know son. You know this business, you need to keep them happy. They came. You beat your brother up pretty bad, your mom is with him. She is upset but don’t pay her no mind, I just want you to be ok. Look at you, in your suit” my dad smiled at me “better than hospital clothing huh, we both was in hospital. Dad I have a lot of shit that is coming out about me, social media is a bad place but it gives me publicity. I can’t really win but I want Malik out of my way” rubbing the side of my face “they are worried out there, they are saying this woman has a right over the money” pacing the room “I think the woman that carried my baby does deserve a share, you know. I mean you may have hid Adam away but you kept them living good, I know that for sure” sitting on the desk “I did but Maurice, you need to have another child. You need to have a boy” I laughed shaking my head “fuck those old rules dad, it’s not it” he is so backwards “it has to be a boy Maurice” these niggas are driving me crazy “but it’s not, just because she is a girl it doesn’t mean she won’t be loyal” I don’t get the issue “if Naomi had the girl then the blood line would be more pure” I sighed out rolling my eyes “why do you want me to hate you!? You want the business, you want his business! You want a rich bloodline forever, you want to be the greatest but it doesn’t work like that, and you won’t be here to see my daughter run this company or maybe she will be a surgeon like her mom but I don’t care” my dad pointed at me “this is why my golden son, you will have a golden son of your own” squinting my eyes at him, he ignored everything I say and I hate that “believe Maurice” I feel like I was speaking too much, I am telling him too much about my plans “yeah” I dragged out, I need to be quiet.

#Chrianna #Chrianna FF #Fanfic #Fanfiction

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zach-the-fox · 4 years

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Furiends Episode 9: Search for Justice

Darkness covers across the entire land. The town of Heroto fights off the black night with their lights to guide their way on the roads and sidewalks, however, only few wander the streets at late hours. Drab figures move across the tops of roofs of the town buildings. Each silhouette is in the shape of animals. They move quickly through the night. One of them glides in the air, but remains above the streets to avoid detection. The dark figures reach a large, two-story, brick building that had been there before. They collect on the top before proceeding further. The darkened animals gather by the edge, where one of them anchors a large hook to the roof, allowing them scale down the wall on a rope. Once they’ve descended to the opened second-story window, they enter in one-by-one. In the dim light of the room, the figures are revealed to be the gang in colored hero costumes. Zach wears blue goggles with matching-color cape, gloves, and tights, while Emmy next to him has her goggles, purple tank top vest with the same color gloves, but with darker-colored pants and belt. Niji stands beside them, donning a mask to cover only his eyes, a blue shirt with a red and yellow ‘w’ on it, steel-blue pants, and red gloves. Sally’s costume consists of a purple and jumpsuit with blue gloves and boots, with a blue belt holding her arsenal. Two ‘D’s are on her chest, mirrored beside each other inside a black bomb. Navy is right behind her, having a pink mask and cape on while having her ring on her wing and white pouch around her waist. The last animal with the group is Eren, who has his goggles over his eyes from his hat, but wears nothing but a brown cape and same-colored boots. Together, the gang appear as a band of superheroes, who ironically are breaking and entering into an orphanage.

“Gee, thanks for that comment, Zach,” says Sally.

“I didn’t say anything,” the fox replies.

“Not you, I mean the writer. Your real-life version.” Can we move on without any more fourth wall breaks, please…? “Whatever. So, where do we go from here?”

“The offices behind reception,” Zach tells her. “We must go downstairs and make our way to the main hall.”

“You’ve got it.” Sally is in front with the others behind her as they head for the door. The dog opens it a crack and peeks in both directions. Not a single soul appears in the dim-lighted hallway. “Seems quiet. I don’t like this… Emmy, Zach, use your abilities to see if the coast is clear.”

Emmy stands beside her and scans the sector with her goggles. “I see no one…”

Zach puts his paw on his head, using his mind to search the area. “The kids are in the rooms, but they’re all asleep. Let’s head down quickly and quietly.” He and his friends follow Sally as they sneak over to the other side against the wall. The fox directs the group toward the entrance of the stairwell a little way away from where they came in. With no one coming up, they descend down and halt at the base, hiding behind the walls beside the opening.

Sally peers through and sees the receptionist typing away on the computer. “Why is the receptionist still here? It’s late…”

“They usually have receptionists until 11 p.m.,” Zach states. “Then, the whole place is on lockdown until six in the morning when the staff come in. The offices are behind the desk through those doors.”

“We’ll need a distraction.” She turns to the wolf. “You have super speed. Can you lure the receptionist away?”

“On it!” Niji, using his super speed, zooms past the desk, causing some papers to fly. The receptionist turns their head up, gets out of the chair, and walks to where Niji went. The group journeys by the desk and makes their way through the doors. The hooded figure examines the dark spaces, but upon seeing nothing, returns to their post. The wolf zips by them again to join his friends.

“Good work, Wolf,” Sally comments. “Okay, now where, Fox?”

“Straight ahead and to the right,” says Zach. They head down the hallway as directed, and to the right. The gang comes to a small hallway of offices. He uses his mind to scan the area. Emmy helps by using her goggles’ vision to confirm with him. “We’re in the clear.” They press forward to the office at the end of the hallway labeled “Headmaster” on it.

“This is it?” asks Eren, facing Zach. “You think your orphanage’s headmaster is behind the attacks?”

“I have a strong feeling,” he responds. “Besides, she’s always hated me from the beginning after I was brought here. Now, we need a key to get in.”

“Where’s the key for the room?” Navy queries.

“The headmaster has it… and won’t be back until morning…”

“We don’t have time to wait for the morning,” Emmy tells them. “We need to get in and find what we’re looking for.”

“Why can’t we burst our way in?” Sally prepares to spawn a bomb in her paw. “I’ll blast open the door.”

“No!” Emmy stops her, grabbing her arm in the process. “We can’t risk making any noise. We’ll have to find another way in.” She turns to Zach. “Any other ways in?”

Zach nods. “Yes, there is; a window. We’d have to go into the courtyard to access it. Come on…” He leads the gang back to the hallways and goes down on the right. The gang sneaks passed three doors before stopping at a set of double doors. Zach pushes one open slowly. “Go.” He allows his friends to waltz through before shutting it quietly and regrouping with the others. The gang makes their way to the right side of the wall. “Right here.” They stop by the window of the last office.

“Great,” spurts Niji. “Window’s locked shut, too. Hope you plan to break the glass and enter.”

“Actually…” Zach goes over, presses his paw against the glass, and pushes it up, opening the window wide enough for a body to enter. “Going in?”

Sally, with her mouth in an ‘o’ shape, points to the window. “How is that not locked?”

“Funny you mention it,” Zach continues, rubbing the back of his head. “When I was eight, I dressed up as a superhero… And, I set off a stink bomb as one of my little “stunts”. The smell was so bad, the headmaster would always have her window open when she was in her office. She never got over the smell, and would always have it open all the time…”

“Interesting,” comments Emmy. “Now, let’s get it, shall we?” Zach leans against the wall and helps boost his friends up through the window and into the room before being grabbed and pulled in. “All right, let’s look around and see what we can find.” Everyone agrees with her as they separate and search every inch of the room. “Hm.” The warthog approaches the desk. “I wonder if they have something in the computer…” She turns to Zach. “I don’t suppose you know how to get into her login, right?”

“Funny enough, yes,” Zach responds. “She has her username and password under the desk. I used it a couple of times when she was out.” Emmy looks underneath the desk to see the words written. Using her goggles, she can see the words clearly, then using them to log on the computer. “Bingo, we’re in. Let’s see if she has something.”

“Whoa!” utters Eren, staring at a bulletin board. Niji walks over to him, staring at the pictures of Zach, themselves, their friends. Red lines stream from the photos, connecting to each other and to parts of a map. “Hey, why does she have our pictures up here?!”

“Oh my god,” Niji spurts. “She has our addresses… How would she know that?!”

“Look at this!” Navy says. The two boys, along with Sally, wander to the bird as she holds out articles she fished out from the cabinet. “She has articles…”

“What do they say?” Eren asks.

“She has every event we’ve been involved in; everything from the demon summons to the break ins, Sally’s house, and even the story on us about running out of town. They even say she’s been the one telling people she saw us burn Sally’s house, breaking into the base and lab, and destroy the town.”

“That witch!” Sally exclaims. “She blames everything on us just because we were there?!”

“She’s been doing this for a reason,” Zach says, holding up glass bottles with rags in them. “They reek of kerosene… The headmaster of the orphanage has been behind the attacks…”

“Um, guys,” calls Emmy. “You may want to look at this…” Everyone collects around the warthog as she displays information on the computer. “I just found this video from one of her files… It’s security footage of her and Jay.” They all watch as the video plays and the two animals carry out their conversation.

“You got rid of the flawed fox?” asks Jay.

“I did,” says the headmaster. “I know how much you and I hate him. His friends won’t be a bother to you and your group, either.”

“Setting him up like that was brilliant, Mom. And the way you handled Capital Corp was good, too. They won’t be coming around her too much.”

“Yes,” the hooded figure goes. “But we aren’t done yet; the flawed fox and his friends have taken refuge at the old rest stop outside of town. We need to make sure we truly bring them to their knees.”

“What do you suggest?”

“I hear that the flawed fox’s dog friend’s mother is in the hospital after receiving burns from her house fire. I’ve also got word that the dog’s sister will be coming tomorrow to visit. I have a hunch they will be there to warn them about their situation. Once they arrive, that’s when they’ll get it.”

“You want to attack the hospital?” asks Jay. “What about all of those other people there?”

“Don’t worry about them. Those flawed fox brats will stand up and go against you. That’s when I’ll come in and do all the work.”

“Yes, Mother.”

Sally clenches her paw in a fist. “Those ungrateful pieces of… I can’t believe they would do this!”

“Well, now we know Team Rescuers are nothing but frauds,” Navy utters. “And Jay’s mother is the mastermind. They were the ones who set us up, and Capital Corp. Now, they plan to attack the hospital.”

“We can’t let that happen!” Sally vocalizes. “Those poor people will die, and my mother and sister… I can’t let them kill them!”

“Relax, everyone’s going to be fine,” Zach tells her. “We have the upper hand on Team Rescuers. We will make sure their reign of terror and lies end.”

“And what about the town?” asks Niji. “They’ll still think we’re bad guys.”

“Not if we expose the truth.” Emmy continues. “I need to save the video on a flash drive.”

“I didn’t see one in the desk,” says Niji.

“I’ll make one.” Eren picks up some pieces of metal and hits it with his wrench. The scrap immediately changes to a tiny flash drive in his hand. He then hands it to Emmy, who plugs it in and saves the video onto it. “Okay, good. Now, let’s get to the hospital and be ready.”

“I sense someone coming,” Zach utters. “We need to get out of here!” Emmy unplugs the flash drive and shuts the computer down. As the door opens, the receptionist appears. They scan the room, yet they see nothing out of the ordinary before closing the door and leaving. The gang is seen through the window, climbing the walls with their hooks and rope they had latched on after leaving the office. They then gather on the roof.

“What is the plan now?” Navy queries.

“We go to the hospital,” Emmy explains. “And from there, that’s when we strike down the frauds. Here’s what we’re going to do.” She begins to unravel the plans to the entire gang. @emmy-the-absolute-goof @sally-the-pack-leader @rainbow-strike @pink-unicorn-boi @ask-choro-mama

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jesusvasser · 6 years

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2017 Honda Civic Type R Four Seasons Update

We should be talking about trimming out the aero and going for that one brain-out qualifying lap at Indianapolis, or maybe how it felt to be the youngest-ever CART Indy-car winner or one of the three drivers to win in their IndyCar debut. Maybe the satisfaction of backing up that early promise with four IndyCar championships, a win in the Indianapolis 500, two overall sports car wins in the Rolex 24 at Daytona—the list of accolades is stunning and still growing. There’s so much you could discuss when you have an exclusive audience with Scott Dixon.

That’s not the helmet famous to race fans, but Scott Dixon is as serious as always when it comes to driving quickly.

But none of that stuff is on the agenda. We’re at Willow Springs Raceway in California, shooting an “Ignition” episode with a Honda Civic Type R, and Dixon is our special guest. Within minutes the formalities are over and we’re talking about New Zealand and London, about our families, and, of course, about hooning around in front-wheel-drive cars of various flavors in our youth and learning about understeer and (more pertinently) lift-off oversteer the hard way. It’s great fun. Dixon is completely relaxed and in no hurry whatsoever to get the hell out of Rosamond, California, and back to his real life. This might be a PR obligation, but it doesn’t feel like it. He seems to be enjoying hanging out and giving the Type R a right old beating for the camera guys. My mission today is to get to know the car and to watch and learn. Any time you get to be in a car with one of the world’s best drivers is a rare privilege, and I intend to spend a lot of time just enjoying the experience and trying to absorb some of Dixon’s incredible talent via osmosis. Fat chance.

No easy production: Jethro Bovingdon and Scott Dixon ruminate on the Honda Civic Type R’s finer points during a break in the action.

Our radio crackles to life with a simple, “We’re ready. Aaaaand … action,” and Dixon rips through first and second as we approach Turn 3. This is the part of the day the director calls “corners.” Our crew moves from corner to corner, shooting every turn with three cameras and probably two or three times over. Fourteen turns make up the Streets of Willow, so the process is a bit long-winded. But it’s a huge amount of fun, and Dixon and the Civic get quicker and quicker every time we hear the “Action!” cue. It’s also incredibly tough on any car, yet the Type R seems almost impervious.

This Type R is identical in spec to the Automobile Four Seasons long-term loaner right down to the color, and the giant-killer reputation it’s forging is well deserved. The 2.0-liter turbo-four doesn’t zing with the top-end fury of an old VTEC engine, but it’s got so much midrange, not to mention there are still plenty of fireworks if you hang onto each gear until the redline. You certainly feel every bit of its 306 horsepower and 295 lb-ft of torque. What’s better is that the Type R knows how to use it. There’s a mild bit of torque steer, but it adds to the sense of excitement; think of it as a trait rather than a fault. You never deviate off line. Rather, the car gently wanders just a degree or two around your chosen trajectory.

Understeer? Even on the track there’s not much to speak of, and the helical limited-slip differential is fantastic. If you’re too greedy on the way into a corner and find the front pushing, you need to fight your instinct to back off. Instead, do the opposite. Jump on the gas. The diff locks up, and the nose comes back into line.

Not that Dixon is ever too greedy on the way into the turns. His style is economical, laser-precise, and somehow effortless. He gets the Civic into turns quicker than I thought possible. The forces are brutal, but the inputs are silky, and he always manages the car’s mass beautifully. It barely seems to pitch or roll, and it’s obvious immediately that Dixon’s feel for the tires’ contact patches is uncanny. The best drivers seem to find grip where there should be none and create speed almost from thin air. Dixon does that. You might watch and understand the process he’s engaged in, but if you try to emulate it, you tend to descend into scrappy understeer or simply fly off the track. It’s at once impressive and depressing.

“I remember going up and up and thinking, ‘This is going to hurt.’”

Of course, I have to ask him: “So, erm, what about that crash, hey?” I try to sound casual, but obviously I’m a bit nervous about bringing it up. Cool as a cucumber, Dixon barely bats an eyelash. “Yeah, it was a big one,” he says. Seems he’s a master of understatement too.

Our ace contributing editor Jethro Bovingdon is also at the wheel of the shows “Ignition” and “Head 2 Head,” along with co-host Jonny Lieberman, exclusively on the Motor Trend channel at MotorTrend.com. There you can catch the episode with Scott Dixon and all of Jethro and Jonny’s other adventures with the newest and hottest cars on the market.

In case you haven’t seen it, Dixon had a monster shunt during the 2017 Indianapolis 500. Another driver, Jay Howard, ran wide and tagged the wall on the exit of Turn 1. With a broken front suspension, he had no control over his No. 77 Schmidt Peterson Motorsports Honda and veered back down the track toward the infield. Dixon was just exiting Turn 1 and had nowhere to go. His Chip Ganassi Honda launched over the back of Howard’s car, the flight turning the car hard left so Dixon was hurtling backward through the air toward the inner guardrail. At the last second the car flipped onto its side and impacted the top of a concrete barrier with the right-hand side of the carbon-fiber monocoque before spinning and tumbling back out toward the racetrack.

“I remember going up and up and thinking, ‘This is going to hurt,’” Dixon recalls. “Then I had the first big impact and thought, ‘I should be OK,’ but then it just went on and on.”

Observers held their collective breath when Scott Dixon took flight during  the 2017 Indianapolis 500. Upon landing, Dixon’s car’s impact with the Indy wall was violent, but the Honda-powered chassis protected its driver well.

As the whole watching world held its breath, the team would have been terrified, and God only knows how Dixon’s family coped in those split seconds. But he was just in the moment, figuring out if he was going to get out of this one without bad injuries. Somehow, miraculously, he did. But how do you deal with that sort of crash, mentally speaking? “It’s actually pretty easy,” Dixon says nonchalantly. “It’s worse if you have a big crash and it’s your fault. Maybe you don’t know why it happened. That’s tough. But you know what? I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. That’s the risk we take, but it hasn’t played on my mind since. Not at all.”

And now he’s in a Civic Type R at Streets of Willow. Is he really having fun? “Ah mate, this is great,” Dixon says. “I’m lovin’ driving this thing. I can’t remember the last time I drove a front-wheel-drive car. Let me think, yeah, I’m pretty sure it was a Honda CRX. I think I was about 16 or 17. It’s been a while.” However long it’s been, Dixon’s muscle memory for front-wheel drivers seems well intact. “To be honest, this is nothing like those cars,” he adds. “Response is fantastic, the way you can arc the car around corners. What really surprises me is there’s no on-throttle understeer, or very little.”

Dixon trails the Type R into corners on the brakes, but the car’s tail doesn’t budge. I comment on how stable the rear end feels. “That’s one thing I remember from my teens,” he says with a smile. “But this doesn’t have the big, loose, high rear feeling of a front-drive car on trail brake. You can drive it in deep on the brakes. Back in my early teens, I was caught out a few times and maybe damaged a few cars. But this is rock solid.”

By now I know Dixon is my sort of guy. He drives cars for a living but also for fun, and it doesn’t matter if it’s a 700-hp single-seater doing 230 mph around Indy or a 306-hp, four-door hatchback tackling curves out in the desert. Even better, he sees the Civic’s manual gearbox as a source of joy rather than as tenths lost from a lap time. “Manual’s back, man! I swore as a teenager I’d never drive an automatic,” Dixon recalls. “It’s just so cool and takes me back to when I got into racing. Having that substance and that feel of being attached to this thing and shifting gears and even messing up, y’know?” You don’t have to convince me, brother. I’m a believer.

The crew is almost done, the Type R needs new tires, and there’s a light dusting of gravel where Dixon’s been cutting corners, using every inch of track and a few more. It’s been a blast.

Often these superstar drivers become almost faceless: just another list of stats and facts and numbers. But Dixon is a great guy: funny, relaxed, and full of wonderful stories. No ego, at least not in this setting, plenty of charm, and all smiles. And he’s a car enthusiast to the core. If I run into him again someday, somewhere, I probably won’t talk too much about his career and future aspirations. Sorry. But I bet we’ll chat about that day at Willow Springs in a Honda Civic Type R. Oh, and the Ford GT he couldn’t stop talking about. He should have that by now. Like I said, a proper car enthusiast. He’s won a few races in his time too.

Our 2017 Honda Civic Type R

MILES TO DATE 9,642 PRICE $34,775  (base/as tested) ENGINE 2.0L turbo DOHC 16-valve I-4/306 hp @ 6,500 rpm, 295 lb-ft @ 2,500-4,000 rpm TRANSMISSION 6-speed manual LAYOUT 4-door, 4-passenger, front-engine, FWD hatchback EPA MILEAGE 22/28 mpg (city/hwy) L x W x H 179.4 x 73.9 x 56.5 in WHEELBASE 106.3 in WEIGHT 3,100 lb 0-60 MPH 5.4 sec TOP SPEED 168 mph

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eddiejpoplar · 6 years

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2017 Honda Civic Type R Four Seasons Update

That’s not the helmet famous to race fans, but Scott Dixon is as serious as always when it comes to driving quickly.

No easy production: Jethro Bovingdon and Scott Dixon ruminate on the Honda Civic Type R’s finer points during a break in the action.

“I remember going up and up and thinking, ‘This is going to hurt.’”

“I remember going up and up and thinking, ‘This is going to hurt,’” Dixon recalls. “Then I had the first big impact and thought, ‘I should be OK,’ but then it just went on and on.”

The crew is almost done, the Type R needs new tires, and there’s a light dusting of gravel where Dixon’s been cutting corners, using every inch of track and a few more. It’s been a blast.

Our 2017 Honda Civic Type R

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ourhealthyfoodblog-blog · 7 years

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New Post has been published on Healthy Food and Remedies

New Post has been published on http://healthyfoodandremedies.com/2017/03/27/combat-every-kind-stress/

How to Combat Every Kind of Stress

You know the feeling—tense muscles, a knot in your stomach, maybe a headache. No matter how hard you try, being calm and collected isn’t in the cards. Stress happens to all of us, and a recent American Psychological Association poll revealed that we’re feeling it more now than ever. Women in particular seem to be bearing the brunt: More than 80 percent reported having prolonged stress about money and the economy, and 70 percent say they’re worried about health problems affecting them and their families.

“Women have more on their plates when it comes to the work-life balance, which takes considerable emotional resources,” says Alice Domar, PhD, executive director of The Domar Center for Mind/Body Health and coauthor of Live a Little! Breaking the Rules Won’t Break Your Health. The comforting news is that stress isn’t always bad. “If you know how to manage it, stress can give you the extra energy you need to succeed and get through difficult situations,” explains Jay Winner, MD, director of the Sansum Clinic Stress Reduction Program in Santa Barbara, California, and author of Take the Stress out of Your Life. There’s even a term for this good kind: eustress. “I tell my patients to think of eustress just like it sounds: ‘use stress,'” says Dr. Winner. “When you’re in a situation that’s making you produce all that high-octane adrenaline, how can you put it to productive use?” For example, think about how the stress of nearing a project deadline might push you to focus more intensely and come up with creative ideas. Or how entering a competition motivates you to do your very best in an attempt to win.

The key distinction: Good stress feels exciting and energizing; the bad type feels scary and paralyzing. Unfortunately, you can’t always control when and if you get stressed, but you can learn to cope so that you minimize its negative impact and, whenever possible, make it productive. To help you do just that, we’ve put together this playbook for how to handle just about any kind of tension—be it an in-the-moment crisis or a chronic worry. So take a deep breath and get ready to feel better.

Short-Term Stress

You’re already late trying to get your family out the door when your husband starts freaking out about a lost set of papers, your kids start whining, food gets spilled and the dog starts barking. Oh, and did we mention it’s all happening as your mother calls to say she’s planning to visit—and wants to stay with you—for two weeks?

What’s Going On

Your body’s stress response—called fight-or-flight—kicks into gear. It dates back to prehistoric days, when a quick pick-upand- run reaction meant the difference between life and death.

Once you’re exposed to a stressor, your body releases a surge of hormones including adrenaline and cortisol, which divert blood flow toward your muscles, heart and brain and away from other areas. That enables you to hightail it away from danger as quickly as possible. Depending on how much adrenaline you’re producing, your heart rate may increase and you may start sweating.

What You Can Do

Breathe. A common gut reaction is to jump in and try to fix the situation ASAP. But this will just exacerbate that harried, out-of-control feeling. Instead, take three deep breaths—5 seconds in, 5 seconds out—to slow your heart rate and reduce the pace at which stress hormones are flying through your system, says Sonali Sharma, MD, a clinical instructor in psychiatry at Columbia University Medical Center in New York City. While focusing on your breath, remind yourself that the anxiety you’re feeling is a chemical response, or just visualize the phrase “I’m strong and I’m capable,” suggests Dr. Sharma.

Lighten up. If you can take a step back and laugh at yourself and the situation, great. If not, try to think about something else that’s funny. Like deep breathing, laughter helps scale back your physical and psychological reactions to stress, which gives you more mental resources to devote to the actual problem, says Dr. Winner. (As soon as you stop fixating on what an idiot you are for misplacing your checkbook, you’ve got a lot more energy to focus on finding it.) A study by The American Journal of the Medical Sciences found that just anticipating laughter can reduce the presence of stress hormones by nearly half.

Put it in perspective. Say you’re late for school drop-off, which means you’ll be late to work and possibly just about every other deadline that day. It may seem like the end of the world, but try to think about the situation in the context of the rest of your life: Focus on how great it is to have a job and a loving family—even if they’re getting on your last nerve at that moment. You can also focus on a mental picture of a loved one, a goal or a favorite place. If the problem is an interpersonal one—say your boss is driving you crazy—try to think about the other person’s big picture, too. If your boss is going through a divorce, that may explain why she’s been hypercritical lately. Empathy helps defuse tension.

Take steps to solve the problem. “The ebb and flow of worry can affect your focus, so if possible, make a written, step-by-step outline of what to do to deal with the situation,” says Jonathan Abramowitz, PhD, director of the Anxiety and Stress Disorders Clinic at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Then tackle things in bite-size pieces; productivity combats stress.

Get with the stress rhythm. If immediate action isn’t possible—say you’re waiting for a test result or answer—you may need to settle into it. In this case, Dr. Abramowitz suggests calming yourself by looking for a pattern in your heartbeat, or imagining the butterflies in your stomach actually flying in formation. The deep breathing recommended by Dr. Sharma can also help here, as can defaulting to a few simple soothing habits: A 2009 study found that chewing gum markedly reduced stress hormones and promoted feelings of calm, while another study found that drinking hot black tea seemed to double the rate at which people were able to calm down after a tense situation.

Long-Term Stress

If only stress stayed short-lived and in the moment. But more often than not, those crazy mornings of juggling family and work (and yourself!) can turn into weeks of constant go, go, go. Meanwhile, you’re trying to balance your family’s budget, make meals and do all the other things that need to keep happening no matter how hectic life gets. Not only can it feel overwhelming to spend day after day with a knot in your stomach, but over time you start feeling more and more exhausted, worn-down and emotional.

What’s Going On

“The body’s stress response is meant for short-term situations. If you’re constantly pumping out stress hormones, that’s going to take a toll,” says Dr. Winner. When high cortisol levels cause blood flow to be constantly directed to parts of the body that control the fight-or-flight response (muscles, heart and brain), crucial nutrients won’t get to where they need to go. Toxins can build up in your system, making you feel lackluster and tired, not to mention prone to insomnia and weight gain.

What You Can Do

Keep a stress diary. If you can’t quite pinpoint the source of that always-harried feeling, write down every time a situation makes you feel stressed. After one week, scan your notes for patterns and brainstorm ways to deal with the circumstances. For example, if you find yourself getting anxious right before the commute home from work, think of ways to make the trip more relaxing: Download an audiobook to listen to in the car or bring a booklet of Sudoku puzzles on the train.

Control what you can. You may not be able to do anything about choices other people make, but there are always some aspects of a situation that you can take charge of. “Make a list—from cutting out jitter-producing caffeine to making sure you’re spending your time with positive people,” says Dr. Domar. “Seeing just how much you can control will calm you, not to mention provide a blueprint for you to get to a productive endpoint.”

Take sleep and relaxation seriously. Sleep, it turns out, can be a major anxiety-buster. One study found that even a short nap can slash stress hormone levels. To help your body wind down at day’s end, shut off gadgets such as cell phones, computers and BlackBerrys by 9 p.m. at the latest. If possible, get them out of your bedroom completely! Also try to keep a regular bedtime. If watching a little TV (even in the bedroom) helps you wind down, that’s fine; just stick to something light and relaxing, like a comedy (skip the slasher flicks and evening news).

Sit up straight. Breathing controls your heart rate and oxygen flow, and we tend to hunch when we’re stressed, which slows oxygen and blood flow (not to mention creates tension in your neck). “An easy way to correct your breathing is to keep good posture,” says Dr. Sharma. “When your shoulders are back, you open the chest and you’re automatically more oxygenated, which helps relieve anxiety.” Keep tabs on posture by straightening up and dropping your shoulders every time you send an e-mail or talk on the phone.

Walk it off. Exercise burns through nervous energy and counters tension by pumping your body full of feel-good endorphins as well as norepinephrine, a hormone that may help us better manage anxiety. One study found that a simple brisk walk five days a week can significantly reduce stress levels in women.

When It’s More Than Stress

If you find yourself worrying excessively to the point that it’s interfering with your everyday life, you may be suffering from anxiety. More than 40 million Americans have some form of anxiety disorder. Among these are panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, social phobia and post-traumatic stress disorder.

How to tell when you’re more than just stressed out? “For most people, when a stressor is removed, they feel better,” says Dr. Abramowitz. “The difference with anxiety is that it tends to revolve around abstract things that haven’t happened yet.” For example, worrying about a hurt child is stress; worrying constantly about whether a child might get hurt is anxiety.Try these tips to combat it.

Challenge the way you’re thinking. “If a loved one is late and you start worrying about an accident, ask yourself, ‘What else could have happened?’ Right there, you’re opening your mind to alternate possibilities,” says Dr. Abramowitz. Once you’ve expanded the outcome list a little, ask yourself what has typically happened in the past when you’ve had this worry. Has the result been what you feared?

Finally, if you’re still feeling unsettled, try making a bet with yourself. Would you be willing to give up something valuable on the wager that your fear will live itself out? If you wouldn’t, you’ve caught your own bluff.

Invoke other parts of your brain. When worry is chronic, it’s easy to let it dominate. Minimize its role by making space for plenty of other things in your mind. “I see a lot of results when people regularly start doing something creative, possibly because they’re tapping a part of their mind that’s removed from the stress. Likewise, group activities will fuel you with outside energy, and nature can help you reach a meditative state,” says Dr. Sharma. This strategy can work for both in-the-moment and long-term anxiety.

As soon as you start feeling anxious, distracting yourself by calling a friend or browsing your favorite websites can help. And picking up a hobby—taking a painting or writing class, for example—keeps you busy and engaged in general, leaving less time for worrying.

Seek outside help. Psychotherapy can be enormously helpful. One type, cognitive behavioral therapy (in which you gradually change your habits and thought patterns) can be especially effective for people with anxiety. The idea is to learn strategies to combat thinking patterns that lead to anxiety. For some people, anti-anxiety medications can be helpful, usually when combined with cognitive behavioral therapy.

#Stress

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dcathwithoutglory-blog · 5 years

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it’s jay. again. my browser just crashed. so i’m just gonna copy and paste my old intro. there’s no time to try and make it better. rip !

⌊ priyanka chopra, cis woman, antigone ⌉ ⏀ have you spoken to ALEXANDRA “ALEXA” MEHRA recently? the THIRTY-FOUR year old who’s been in seneca for SEVEN YEARS or so? either way, they always seem to remind me of FLOWERS PLACED ON A GRAVE, A RUSTY COMPASS, STORMS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT whenever i see them on main street. on a good day they’re pretty MORALISTIC, but they can also be RESISTANT. ⌊ jay, 19. est, she/her ⌉

the story of antigone that y’all probs already know but jic.

triggers: brief implication of incest but like wbk, brief mention of suicide, death, creon bein a bitch

brief overview of antigone (character + eponymous story):

antigone was born to oedipus and jocasta.

we all know what happened there. after that, oedipus was like “see no evil feel no evil” and jocasta yeet’d out of living.

her brothers went to war against each other. when creon ascended to the throne, he allowed burial for eteocles with honors, but was like “lmao if u bury polyneices i will kill u”

but antigone was like ‘lmao SURE JAN’ and tried to convince ismene, her sister, to help her bury polyneices. ismene was like ‘ok that’s a rly bad idea like good luck but count me out tbh.’

antigone is rly bad at digging graves tho so polyneices’s body was found and creon was like ‘oh my GOD’ and she’s like ‘fuck the government viva la morality!’

then creon was like ‘ok anyway rmr when i said u wld die if u buried polyneices so ig now u have to be buried alive in a tomb’ then antigone was like ‘actually i’ll be hanging myself before u can do fuck the government’

then he was like ‘at least u’ll be dead! oh wait -

Y’ALL GO SAVE EVERYONE’ but then it was too late

antigone and his son had both killed themselves and everyone, including himself, were just like

“get WREKT creon!!!!!”

alexa ( play despacito ).

triggers: suicide (x2), death (x3), mental illness implications, war, brief mentions of torture and murder

ok now onto alexandra ! so, like i did for valda, i looked up names that shared the same meaning as ‘antigone’ (which essentially means “against”) and one of the suggestions was alexa but i also wanted it to sound. super valiant. but at the same time. i wanted it to be something that could have a conversational nickname. so im already hc’ing that she has ‘despacito’ saved on her phone. also alexandra is my middle name so like?? stan list?? OK ANYWAY.

alright, so alexandra was born to a very upper-class family. her father was a politician and her mother was a successful lawyer. they provided well for the perfect nuclear family –– two sons, two daughters, a golden retriever, two cats in the yard life used to be so hard now everything is easy cause of-

like... her early life, say birth to age 14, was... nice. actually normal and nice. have i ever done that before? has my own edgelord ass ever done that before? i don’t think so.

which is why things obviously took a turn for the worse

but yeah. when she was 14, she was like “hey mom idk how to do pre-algebra” (a mood) but there was no response from her mom. so shrug city, you know? she just went to her older sister instead. but like... so much time passed.... and nothing....

finally, this nosy bitch decided to be like “ok i’m gonna go see what tf she’s doing” and that was just... a terrible idea. instead of finding her mom doing her nails or talking on the phone or any number of reasons she may not have come out yet, she found her mother hanging from the ceiling fan.

she tried to get her brothers’ and sister’s help, and they tried so desperately to help (you know, while also calling 911 and their father), but it was to absolutely no avail.

after this hella traumatizing experience, the children grew closer as the father grew farther.

he began getting lost in his own mind, sometimes accidentally mixing the past with the present, a la willy loman style. he would hold slight conversations with their ‘mother’ while at the table, then began holding them with various others from the past. it was pretty clear that his mind had just been looking for an excuse to snap, and the death of his wife had been the perfect scapegoat.

although it had originally just affected him in his home life, he began holding said conversations in the presence of people outside his family.

this is not good for a politician.

i mean it’s not good for anyone but...

his support immediately began dropping. his team gradually left him, finding there was no way he would ever be able to gain another victory if he kept on living in a limbo between the past and the present. given that he’d started ‘talking to his brother’ during one of his speeches...

rest in peace to his career.

alexa (play despacito) was 18 at the time, her sister - 20, one of her brothers - 21, the other - 24.

they were all legal adults! some of them had even moved out! so their father figured his next move would not affect him in the way their mother’s death had!

so he shot himself.

the only people who showed up at his funeral were alexa and her sister. her eldest brother proclaimed that flying across the country would be too much of a hassle for that, and the other brother simply did not respond.

her eldest brother did, however, enlist in the army after setting legalities in place that would allow him to send money back to his siblings. he had joined simply because it was an easy opportunity (what with all of the propaganda), but his decision prompted the other brother to do the same –– this time because he was talented at ‘the art of fighting.’

and bc more money but like... get wrekt.

alexa’s sister dropped out of college to work a full-time job –– one that paid fairly handsomely. alexa took some odd jobs.

aka, everyone was trying to make money.

creon was right when he said “money! nothing worse”

so things kind of dipped when the eldest brother was killed. after an accusation that he’d become a traitor, their other brother had taken it upon himself to ‘anonymously’ torture and shoot him. but the other side did it!

which everyone knew was a lie.

because of the accusations, he was not only not allowed a military funeral, he was also not meant to be buried in any honorable fashion. instead, his body was returned to his hometown to be buried there following a quiet and uneventful funeral.

his grave was left unmarked.

nonetheless, the grave was visited every day, new flowers laid atop.

meanwhile, their other brother was considered a newfound military icon. he’d gotten rid of a ‘traitor’ (they continued to pretend it was someone from the other side, of course), he’d killed many an enemy, he’d done this and that and this and that and it all made him look so morally grey to alexa and her sister (who, granted, had yet to find out he’d killed their other brother), but like such a white knight to his fellow soldiers.

he truly rose in the ranks. it was what he was meant to do.

but the more he killed, the more he tortured, the lack of grief towards his brother’s death...

alexa’s sister wasn’t buying her hypothesis. it wasn’t necessarily because she saw their other brother was some pure being, but because she simply didn’t believe he was capable of that.

the next time alexa saw her brother, she got confirmation enough. what to do with the information, she wasn’t sure, but she knew she had to do something...

murder wasn’t the solution... she didn’t have any military connections that would allow for her to spout some lie about why he needed to be dishonorably discharged... but what he did couldn’t skate by...

to this day, she is still wondering what she can do to fuck him over. his success in the military keeps growing grander and grander, thus rendering any fake dishonorable discharge excuses completely moot. her sister still doesn’t believe that there really is a solution –– that, while it is greatly harmful, there’s absolutely nothing they can do and ruminating on it is worthless –– trying to find some quest to defeat their own brother is absurd.

although she has since moved to seneca, attracted to its small town appeal, she continues to visit her eldest brother’s grave every week –– it’s about a two hour drive, so it’s worth it.

she’s taken up work as a cemetery caretaker

because of COURSE she would.

and, although its pay is.... lousy, she’s been making due. for the tombstones no one visits any longer, first she’ll look them up to make sure they weren’t slave-owners or anything, she’ll bring them their own flowers. the dead deserve just as much respect as the living, hm?

personality.

i just realized i didn’t do this for valda (aka, i’m about to update her intro with it), but a total enneagram type 2.

too empathetic for her own good, too ‘this person whom i do not even know deserves flowers’ for her own good, too ‘i’ve got to protect _______ by doing _________’ for her own good

a capricorn

so driven by her own moral compass, she does not CARE about anything that says she has to go against it

her moral compass can be super faulty sometimes tho

pretty quick to make assumptions tbh, but has so far been right abt most of them.

so also driven by gut feelings ig

dramatic tbh. i mean she’s the adapted version of a character whose first lines contained “there's nothing, no pain—our lives are pain” SO.

also p independent (as in i said valda was independent), but her vendetta isn’t against men in general, rather just her brother who is still alive

so like,,, that said,,, holds grudges.

im bad at personality sections!! as has been stated before!! but i think the gist has been gotten across!!

wanted connections.

so rn i only have one specific one which is her sister and can be found on the wc page

will come up w/ unique ones later but until then open 2 hearing urs/brainstorming!

tl;dr.

(refer to triggers listed before the bullets.) a lot of death? like mom kills herself then dad turns into willy loman then dad kills himself. brothers both join the army. one brother kills the other brother for being accused of being a ‘traitor.’ said brother doesn’t get a proper funeral and his headstone is unmarked. the other brother rises in the rankings and alexa knows what happened. convinced her sister of it, but her sister is more logical and let her know that she was very angry too, but making her entire life about it would do nothing but endanger herself and others. moved to seneca because she liked the small town feel. still visits her eldest brother’s grave every week to leave flowers. works as a cemetery caretaker bc WHY NOT. brings flowers to graves that are either unmarked or no longer visited. i hope you read all of that and just thought ‘oh my god fckin EDGELORD’ because you’re right.

alright ! fin.

like this or hmu if you’d like to plot !

#divined.intro #i wanted 2 put my tl;dr in a blockquote but y'all my browser's being so weird SO.#ALSO if i RECALL there r like 100 typos in this i wrote it at like 5am asdfjlk PLS J BEAR W/ IT

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