I Appreciate The Bad Endings

There will be movies or books or games that don’t end well for the characters I’ve grown attached to, and I actually enjoy the risk the creator took to make their suffering unending. There’s something almost poetic about it, you know?

In Hello Puppets, the player “escaped” and Scout died, but Riley, Nick and Daisy are still stuck in the warehouse with Mortimer abusing them. People are going to keep being abducted (which is only funny in this game, because of that photograph of Riley--a fucking ventriloquist dummy--shoving someone into a van) and we have no idea if Harper really made it out alive. No one got a happy ending, and I’m fine with that, because in my opinion, it feels more powerful than the Host just blowing everything up and walking away from the flames like a hero. 

Same with the Goosebumps series I grew up reading, too. There’s usually a twist that suspends the protagonist into a greater conflict that we’re left with imagining, while they have an even slimmer chance of overcoming. It sounds weird, but it’s comforting when you apply the logic to real life in certain circumstances; you can achieve great things in life, but still have struggles that you worry about daily. For the media to reflect that stops me from feeling alone. Sure, I’m likely never going to be trapped in a creepy, abandoned television studio with living puppets trying to suck up my life force like a milkshake, but the symbolism is there and that’s what matters!

Everyone gets an extra snippet because I coughed so hard I gagged and I FEEL BAD so I wrote this to make myself feel better. It did, indeed, work.

Special Delivery from Postmaster Pearl! :D I stumbled across centaur!pearl headcannons and it sounded fun to draw!

Reblogs appreciated!

Sometimes people are intentionally swinging bats at wasps nests on this site, and other times someone accidentally trips into a pit of hornets and gets swarmed. and it's. Extremely funny when you see a post that the op clearly doesn't know is about to summon every single Mexican on this website to come yell at them

jla: welcome to the working week

[ID: a monitor screen on the Justice League Watchtower. In it, Wonder Woman is looking over her shoulder and saying, “... Can handle the Killer Croc break-out... Tell Batman to take a power nap or something...” END ID]

"uhg we're literally Finn and Jake" "Simon Petrikov is so me" "I'm actually so Flame Princess" That's all fun n games buddy boy, but I'm actually Magic Man. Annoying, maddening, eccentric- not the fun kind. Exasperating, enigmatic!

Contributes little to the plot, if anything, an inconvenience to the plot. The only solace I have is mundane grievances and the hallucinations of my dead wife from another dimension. I'm a nuisance, chronically online if you will. To you, I can't hold a normal conversation, but you simply cannot understand my riddles and cosmic whimsy. Uncomfortable, unruly, unprecedented, uncircumcised. I live in an old log just down south of the goodwill. You have no idea the silly things hidden in my mystery pockets. I am the Magic Man.

what/whose translation of the odyssey are you reading?

Uhhhh this website called "poetry in translation"? Honestly I hadn't even mean to read it I was researching something else

My thoughts after the fourth episode of the Artful Dodger:

1. starting with Cold Hard Bitch was a great choice, i love that song!

2. “can he do it?” “maybe.” “could you?” “…yes.” lady belle really does make her point so effectively.

3. “sorry what was the first one again?” jack is made of sass actually

4. “did you know surgeons know everything about the female body?” FANNY 🤭

5. “you wouldn’t find me so tedious then.” oh fanny!

6. god i love when my ship passes a bottle between them 😍

7. “the white ghost who’s close to the grave” i screamed 🤣

8. “if we hang then you’re gonna hang too because i’m actually quite petty that way.” lmaoooo

9. “shit him up.” idk guys, i feel like she’s being crystal fucking clear, destroy that mf!!!

10. lady belle is such a NERD i find her so delightful.

11. “i love soup.” OH FANNY

12. oh so sneed is evil evil, got it.

13. Fagin is such a drama queen lmao

14. “we would have made quite the team.” YOU STILL CAN 😭😭😭

15. Red really is That Bitch tbh

what i want to know is what kind of cold meds are you guys taking that make you have visual hallucinations

I Don’t Know Where This Came From (Hello Puppets Edition)

One second I was writing and the next, I’m thinking of an AU where Mortimer’s in charge of the other puppets as human foster kids. THAT just came out of left field, but I’m willing to roll with it since I don’t want to lie in bed awake for another hour. 

Now, I already have an established Human AU where the puppets are “performers” for the television show and Owen is simply their director, not their creator. I call them performers because they’re actors for the show, but I made Riley and Nick an actual scientist and artist that delve into that aspect of their careers when not on-set. So, they’re not acting when it comes to their qualifications, if that makes sense. Wait, I had a point to this... oh yeah! I made their ages at the start of the show’s run 60 for Mortimer, 26 for Daisy, 24 for Nick, and 22 for Riley. I wanted her to be kind of the baby of the group since Nick has some serious middle child energy and Daisy seems to be way more motherly than the others, making her the oldest sister, you know? Not to mention the thought of the younger sibling being the smartest in the family is both hilarious and sad. 

If they’re children in this new AU, their ages could be Mortimer in his forties with the other three at 13, 11, and 9. Then Harper (or Scout) could come later as the new youngest sibling, and she just rocks the boat for everyone. Nick could recruit her to help him torment Riley, Mortimer can’t find anything in his study because she keeps rearranging his stuff when she goes in there to play, and Daisy straight up forbids her from going into the kitchen. I’m talking a “Banned for Life” poster on the fridge. 

Wait... this is just Horsin’ Around from Bojack Horseman... 

Oh well, it was fun while it lasted lol

wish f/os were here to dote on me 🥺

Day status: survived.

We are remodeling our ancient unsafe kitchen (ungrounded outlets, active fire hazard wall oven, etc) and have our countertop options narrowed down to EXPENSIVE SLAB or CHEAP TILE. They’d both please me about the same amount, for respective reasons (NICE vs PRICE).

i hate being sick so much and i’m a complete baby about it

had one of those dreams last night about someone who doesn't exist and it was so 🥰 but i'm so 👽

Y’all probably don’t think about this much if at all and I think you should consider it deeply and accept it into your heart:

fairy takes heroic dose of NyQuil

what do you mean i'm schizophrenic? what happened to it just being my funky fresh flow yo? don't un-jigg my jiggly wiggly vibe mr psychiatrist.