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#nttd fix-it I guess?
teamcivilian · 2 years
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Fear and Desire — Chapter 03
Fandom: James Bond
Rating: M
Warnings: Non-con in Ch01 and to a briefer extent in Ch03, graphic depictions of violence in Ch02 and Ch03, and major character death.
Summary: "If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?" — Cormac McCarthy (No Country for Old Men)
[Ch01] [Ch02] [Ch03] [Ao3 Link]
This was originally going to be four chapters but I said, three is enough. It's been a hot minute since I saw NTtD and I tried to elaborate a bit on Safin's motives, since canon couldn't be bothered. — Dorminchu
03: RUINER
Growing up, Safin was always a smaller, sickly boy compared to his siblings. That was why his father had been so eager to share his knowledge of the garden. 
By the time he had awoken from the coma his body had betrayed him. Now every day was a fight to regain what had been stolen from him, travelling in and out of hospital. A dozen surgeries and therapeutic sessions. Physical therapy and medications. Access to his father's inheritance ensured he would have a fresh set of organs and whatever else he required. The nurses and doctors and psychotherapists all remarked on what a polite and reserved young man he was in the face of the awful tragedy that had befallen his family. How strong he was to persevere through all of that.
In-between operations and recuperations Safin had plenty of time to ruminate. To lament what had happened to him for the rest of his life would be futile. Instead of grief there was only hatred disguised as emptiness. Under threats of incarceration he had expressed his absence of feeling and been told it was no aberration. Grief took a lot of time to process. He had every right to be angry about his condition. Never illness.
Though his family had been slaughtered and the garden razed, many of the books remained intact. Over the next decade and a half, and with time and care, he was able to eliminate most traces of the dioxins from his body in ways most modern medicine could not. He could do little about his skin pitted over.
By the time he was eighteen he had established contacts with the same men his father had worked for and learnt the name of his family's killer. Over the course of his recovery he was able to whittle down his desire for vengeance from the absurd and theatrical into something more sensible.
Alone, he would raze those who had seen fit to ruin the lives of his family, and from there begin reinventing a new life for himself from the ashes. It began with Mr. White and ended with Madeleine Swann. A girl born from wealth, brought up in the shadow of her father's work and a dying, feckless mother. He looked down into the surface of the lake, into the black abyss, and saw his sister. He reached into that lake and withdrew an innocent child from death. He ensured she would survive in time for her father's return.
For the next eighteen years he was her silent confidant. He knew of her name and all of her pseudonyms. Passing details delivered by his loyal subordinates. Her interest in mental health and non-profit work for charity. Her lack of luck in friends and poorer taste in men. At any time, he could have ended her as her father had ended his entire family. When Mr. White was found with a bullet in his head in Altaussee. When Swann came into contact with SPECTRE's worst nightmare 007. When Blofeld was thrown in prison, and when Bond abandoned her for good in Matera.
Yet Safin did not intervene. Why should he enable the success of that syndicate which had taken everything from him? Despite her abhorrence of her father's methods she had accepted White's money and his protection. She attached herself just as naturally to 007. She was cunning enough to spite her own fear. And nine months after the incident in Matera she bore a child.
Only then did Safin begin to put together a procedure for her retrieval. She would need protection and MI6 could only offer a surface-level guarantee. So for the next four years as he amassed his resources he was also keeping an eye on Madeleine Swann and her infant.
When they met for the second time in her office, five years later, he was curious. Would she recognize him now? Did she pause because of his inflammatory words or some part of her mind that recoiled in unwilling recognition?
The same part slowly giving way from disbelief into understanding on some subconscious level. It was not clear until she grasped the memory box in her hands. The horror he had grasped in the eyes of the adolescent giving way to despair. To look at his face and know there were no outs, no bargaining chips.
Two days had passed since their initial arrival onto his base. In between consultations with Obruchev and the other bioengineers, Safin noticed the blank walls. The soldiers around every corner were necessary but a proper refurbishment was overdue.
Military intelligence anticipated that the MI6 agents 007 and 008 would arrive within the next twenty-four hours. Not enough time to intercept the release of Heracles into the atmosphere. There were enough forces on the ground and around the island to alert him to any further interceptions. Better yet to lower the guard around the subterranean complex and let MI6 come directly to him. After Bond was dealt with there would be time to create an environment more befitting of home.
For now his new guests must be kept comfortable.
That morning, Madeleine would not come out of her cell for breakfast. When Primo opened the door she was still laying in the bed provided, feigning sleep. Dressed in her own clothes from the day before.
Safin said, Playing dead won't help you.
The stillness to her body suggested childlike stubbornness. But there was nothing she could do to harm herself within her cell. The room had been checked before her arrival.
He said, Mathilde has asked me about you. Did you know that?
No response.
I would like you to accompany me for breakfast. You may go willingly, or I will have you dragged like a prisoner. Which will it be?
She finally raised her head. An ugly, violent emotion kept behind her eyes.
There is a change of clothes for you. He motioned over to the chest. You will dress first. Everything you will need is here.
She did not move. I'd like some privacy.
Safin said nothing.
The realization passed over her with a slight shudder. She averted her face. She got up and went over to the chest and opened it. She slipped out of her blouse with trembling hands but kept on her camisole.
Undress, please.
A sharp flinch of her shoulders that she disguised as reaching for a plain taupe dress that would come down to her ankles. Matching blouse and cardigan covered her wrists. If she were looking she would catch his cold, empty smile. She had nothing to fear from him.
As she redressed she did not look at him. She stood with her chin down. He walked over to her. Without anger she was a much simpler creature. A beautiful, fragile thing just as easily snapped in half. In a perfect world he would have plenty of time to correct her more clandestine tendencies.
He said, Now, I'm sure you feel better.
Madeleine said nothing. She was looking past him. Safin nodded to Primo.
In a little while the two of them were attending a quiet breakfast while Primo remained as wordless vigil. The female aide who brought the tray of tea caught Safin's attention.
Klava, he said, switching to Russian, a moment please.
The aide stiffened at the gesture. He brushed her sleeve aside and brandished her hand revealing a row of smaller teeth-marks that were not enough to pierce the skin. How did this happen?
Her stupid little shit, she hissed, wrenching her hand away. That's the last time I bring her food.
Madeleine grasped her own teacup tightly. She was watching them now, very closely.
Safin said, I think she would not retaliate without good reason.
Every time, she asks for her mother. I don't see why you insist on keeping them separate from each other. The aide glared at Madeleine.
Your orders were to make sure the girl was fed and rested. Not push that responsibility onto our guest.
Your guests, the aide said through her teeth, who will not eat or drink anything I offer them because they suspect it must be poison.
Madeleine's jaw was very tight.
I assumed you would be skilled enough to negotiate, Safin said. Perhaps I was mistaken. If you would prefer instead to work down in the garden, I will notify your team immediately.
Klava's face was very pale. No, of course not.
Very good. You may leave us.
Then he looked at Madeleine. If you wish to know, Mathilde is safe. The girl does not cry much. But she is listless. She misses you dearly. I see no reason to separate you indefinitely, as long as you remain obedient.
She wouldn't bite someone out of malice, Madeleine spat.
Safin allowed her a small smile.
Of course not. She is usually so well-behaved.
Listen to me, right now. I will do whatever you ask. But you will not involve her in this sick little game. If you ever think of harming her, or allowing harm to come to her—
—in what way have I harmed either of you?
Her eyes flashed.
I have given you a room to sleep where you will not be threatened or disturbed. I have provided your daughter similar accommodations. If I wanted to hurt you—he glanced at Primo with the barest of nods that went unreciprocated—there are much simpler ways to do so. He looked at Madeleine. You are the only woman on this base. 
Her jaw clenched. Each meeting would be the same as the first. Safin waved his hand.
If you still think I have harmed you, in any way, please speak. Whenever we are alone I will only ask for your honesty. 
Her grasp on the teacup was uneven. She had curled her fingers into a fist, white-knuckled. He reached across the table to take her wrist and she shrank back, displacing a little liquid onto the saucer. His mouth twisted.
Madeleine, there is no need to be nervous. We are having a civil discussion.
She looked him in the eyes and said, I am doing this for Mathilde. No one else.
Of course. You need not justify yourself to me. He said, But if you are still concerned, I will entrust you the responsibility of caring for Mathilde. In return you will remain here on the island.
Madeleine's facade of calm rippled. What are you saying?
I cannot send you back into a world that would just as soon devour the daughter of SPECTRE. You will be safer here with your daughter. Does this not suit you?
The same dangerous softness without a smile. One misplaced word was all it took. She swallowed dryly.
Yes, it—it suits me.
Safin nodded. Have some tea.
Madeleine glanced at the mess she'd made but did not move.
You saw Klava serve us both. I gain nothing from poisoning you.
She took a sip but her eyes shone with contempt. She said, For what purpose are you keeping me alive?
I knew that someday you would grow into my enemy. You have been living in the shadow of your father for so long, yet you forget you are still his daughter. When you offered yourself for the sake of Mathilde it was your choice. The first, selfless act you have ever wrought, and now you will live by it.
That's not what I asked.
Madeleine, we have each lost so much. We understand one other so naturally that there is no reason for me to eliminate you. As the daughter of SPECTRE, it would be a greater cruelty to leave you to fend for yourself. What I am offering is far more merciful.
You are confusing obsession for mercy.
He faltered. A wheezing scoff shook his frame and betrayed the frail body beneath the kimono.
I assured you that I would never let anything happen to Mathilde, he said. But when our business with MI6 is finished, if you truly wish to leave this place, I will hand over the girl to your lover. There are many who would pay good money to claim ownership over Bond's woman.
Now she was forcing herself to remain very still. Her face must be blank. Placid. An arrogant tilt of the chin or callous remark would be easier to stomach than his lack of sentiment. Without that tenuous thread of human connection all her sacrifices were for nothing. The sooner she understood this truth the easier her life would be.
Of course, he said, it doesn't have to be this way. You can start over. Repent for the sins of your family. He gestured to the vial tucked away against his breast. If you wish it, I will make sure no one else can touch you.
After breakfast he dismissed Madeleine to her room and ordered Primo to accompany him to visit Mathilde. She was sitting on the bed meant for an adult, clutching the stuffed rabbit to her. When the door opened she looked over sharply.
Mathilde, I would like to talk to you. Is that all right?
No response.
You are more comfortable with French? He switched. Your mother and I were just talking about you.
Mathilde said nothing, though she was looking at him closely. She had her mother's hair. The same nose. Safin approached slowly and she did not decry his actions. She was looking over at Primo. Her wide blue eyes a shade darker than her mother's.
He indicated the opposite corner of the bed and asked, May I sit here?
She glanced over at the stuffed rabbit. Clutching it tightly, she nodded.
I heard about what happened this morning, with Klava. I understand you miss your mother. But you cannot behave like this in my home.
She was a bad lady.
Bad? What did she do?
Mathilde's brow creased. She was saying mean things about maman. And me.
Hardy, like her mother. But she would need a little coaching.
I'm sorry, Mathilde. I didn't know. If you would rather see your mother from now on, that can be arranged. But you must behave yourself. Can you promise that much?
Mathilde was looking at him closely. To settle her nerves, Safin gestured to the stuffed animal. What is his name?
Doudou.
I see. That's a nice name.
Mathilde said, Why are you talking to me?
You are my guest. I want to know how you are feeling.
You only care about maman.
That isn't true. You are important to her, and so you are important to me.
Mathilde looked away from him, at her only friend. Deep in thought. You know my maman?
We met a long time ago. When she was a child I saved her life. Over the years I came to care for her.
Why do you care about her if she doesn't like you?
Safin stopped. Mathilde was looking at him, unbiased and frank. Unlike her mother she had not yet learned to hate. He chuckled.
Well, sometimes you care for someone, even when they do not understand why. It doesn't matter if they understand. You care for them all the same.
He touched her head as if to tousle her hair. She tensed immediately, and he removed his hand. Are you feeling well?
It's cold.
It's no good for you to be stuck in a room by yourself. I would like you to accompany me for a walk. Remember? We walked around the garden together.
He offered his hand. She did not take it. I want to see maman.
You will see her after we walk. You have my word. OK?
They rounded the circumference of the garden two times and did not speak. Mathilde kept Doudou under her arm.
Mathilde looked him up and down. Still tense. I'm not supposed to talk to you.
Safin knelt down so they were on the same level.
Your mother is going to be all right. Right now she needs a little time to think. I know that I said you will see her. But she needs to be alone. Have you ever felt like that?
Mathilde didn't speak. She looked steadily at Primo and walked up to him and offered Doudou. Give him to maman. So she's safe.
Primo blinked slowly. He took the stuffed animal and nodded.
Safin caught Primo's eye. Return her to the room afterwards. She will see her mother another time.
Madeleine had been sitting, thinking. When the staff spoke in front of her at all it was always in Russian. They would always avoid eye contact. The thin man with glasses looked over and expressed his condolences for the boss's woman. Primo was the only one who acknowledged her with a look.
Every one of them complicit in their leader's scheme.
Left on the verge of tears that wouldn't come. Until he was away from her family once and for all there would be no end. She could not fold.
The moment she saw her own face it would be her father staring back at her. Or her mother.
Primo opened the door, walked in, set Doudou on the armoire. The kid came up to me and insisted that you have this.
Madeleine looked up. The muscles in her face fighting a losing battle for indifference. Her composure finally broke into a light sob. Primo turned away, ready to leave.
You don't have to do this, she said thickly. You see this plan he has, the lack of one. How can you stand there and let him get away with it?
I have my orders. As do you. See to it you don't give him a reason to reconsider his mercy.
Madeleine sneered. This is not mercy. It is senseless.
What he could not communicate in words. Two souls entrapped in the same circumstance. 
He's sick, said Madeleine. And he isn't getting better. That is why he feels he must eradicate all of these people, isn't it?
Primo said nothing.
He has probably been sick for some time, I think. All the medicine in the world can't stop the inevitable. Your boss is no better than any of these heartless men and women he has slaughtered in the name of progress. Whatever ideology he wants to paint it as. If he succeeds, what else is left to conquer?
Primo said, I'll collect you when he calls for you.
Madeleine walked over to the armoire. She clutched the rabbit to her own body and wept into its soft fur.
Then stopped. Groped the seam along Doudour’s head until she found the foreign outline under soft fabric. There was a slit no bigger than an inch. Reaching in, she experienced a stab of pain along the pad of her finger. Drawing out a shard of china spanning the length of her palm to her ring finger.
Madeleine wiped her bloodied hand on the sheets. She stared at the shard for a long time. She used it to tear a strip from the sheet and bind her hand.
Each time Madeleine left the cell she paid close attention to her surroundings. In the garden, the steel gate was closed. Mathilde was nowhere to be seen. It was just Safin and Primo and a handful of soldiers in the garden, around the perimeter.
Where is Mathilde?
She was not feeling well, Safin said. Primo told me she hasn't been sleeping regularly. I offered to give her some tea but she refused. So we will let her sleep for a time.
Madeleine looked at Primo who gave her the slightest incline of the head.
Then Safin was right in front of her.
What happened to your hand?
I cut myself.
Safin took her hand in his, meticulous. His brow furrowed. How did you manage this?
I wasn't thinking. I dropped one of your plates and cut myself cleaning it up.
Safin looked at her closely. Why were you cleaning? That is for the help to do.
I thought it would be right. I did not intend to offend you, or your help.
Primo was coming up behind them.
Safin understood what was happening a second too late. Primo was the larger man and he grabbed Safin by the back of the collar, pinned his arms behind him with little effort.
Madeleine looked at Safin. His teeth bared. In her other hand she gripped the shard of china so tightly she'd drawn blood. He opened his mouth to speak.
She slashed at his naked throat in one jagged movement. Blood spattered down her chest and forearm. His mouth opened but all that came out was a congested gurgle. Madeleine shut her eyes.
For some reason the soldiers were not rushing to eliminate them.
Primo let him fall limp to the ground. Madeleine did not look.
These men answer to me, said Primo. Safin gave me that authority. I instructed the to give Mathilde a light sedative. Right now she is only sleeping. She will wake up in an hour or two none the wiser to this.
Just then, Bond and the other 007 rounded the corner. Madeleine looked at them and they looked at her and the woman said softly, Shit.
Madeleine, said Bond, but she was already with Primo.
It's over, said Madeleine.
Not yet. We have to shut this down. 008, with me.
Nomi glanced at Madeleine once before joining Bond up the stairs into the heart of the facility.
Hours later, when the island was disarmed and they were all on a helicopter back to Europe, Mathilde was sleeping in her mother's arms.
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sunaddicted · 2 years
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2021 Fic In Review
Since tomorrow I'm leaving for my next contract and it will be extremely unlikely that I post anything more until the end of the year (or until I come back home for that matter) I'm kicking off this year's ✨ Fic In Review ✨
Total number of completed stories: 13. That's a lot below my average but considering that I have been home only 5 months this year and that writer's block has definitely been kicking my ass to hell and back... It could have been a lot worse, I guess.
Total word count: 15867.
Fandoms written in: DC Comics, Gotham, James Bond, What We Do in the Shadows.
Looking back did you expect to write more fic than you thought you would this year, less or about what you'd expect: I would say about what I would expect considering that while I'm on board it's pretty hard to write (I work with words the whole day - when I'm on break my brain doesn't really want to string more together) and writer's block is a bitch.
What's your own favourite story of the year: I guess The Will to Power Through (Superbat) - I love hurting Clark with Bruce's inevitable mortality.
Did you take any writing risks this year: I barely did any writing this year lol.
Do you have any fanfic goals for the new year: I want to focus on long, multi-chaptered fics. I have a couple that have been in the workings for ages and that I haven't managed to pull out yet - I hope that the Brazilian cruising season will be less stressful than the Mediterranean summer one and that I'll manage to get some writing done while I'm away, so that when I'm home I can just post them.
Best story of the year: Between Us, In the Dark (Nandermo) objectively is my best work of the year.
Most popular story of the year:
Most Kudos: Unfixable (00q) - lmao I guess fixing NTTD was popular with the crowds
Most Comments: Unfixable (00q) again - glad you all loved it
Story of mine most underappreciated by the universe, in my opinion: Tainted (Justice Lords!Superwonderbat) is awesome. Is it angsty? Is it about toxic love? Is it full of hopelessness? Yeah but I still love it.
Most fun story to write: in general, I always have fun participating in challenges and the MI6 CAFE LDWS IV collection definitely represents that.
Story with the sexiest moment: sex repulsion hit hard this year and I haven't written a single sexy moment.
Sweetest story: Flesh Wound (Nygmobblepot) is just very sweet and caring, quite fluffy despite the physical hurt/comfort I threw in there.
Story that shifted my own perception of the characters and most unintentionally telling story: to be honest, nothing comes to mind.
Hardest story to write: Unfixable (00q) - I was very angry and upset while I was writing it: it felt like, no matter my efforts, I couldn't fix that goddamned movie.
Biggest disappointment: probably that for work reasons I didn't manage to take part in the 007 Fest organized by @mi6-cafe fantastic mods.
Biggest surprise: I have been struggling writing for some old fandoms of mine - I clearly need to rekindle the flame.
It definitely wasn't my biggest year of writing but I'm proud of what little I've managed to accomplish and I wanted to celebrate it.
Tagging @acapelladitty @spiritofcamelot @christinefromsherwood @soufflegirl91 (only if you want to, of course)
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shijiujun · 3 years
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NTTD is a masterpiece!!!! Spoilers below but combing through Casino Royale to No Time to Die
Q and Bond
Like we’ve all shipped 00q since Skyfall and for good reason - as Ben Whishaw said there’s affection even though between Q and 007 there’s irritation and annoyance, exasperation. And yes Q has a potential boyfriend in NTTD and ahhh still doesn’t stop me from shipping em both as an old 00q shipper.
They’re so consistent in every movie - I love Ben Whishaw’s Q and how they went from sitting in a museum looking at the painting of a sinking ship, of Q’s sassy and exasperated ‘Bond’s, and to the very last, panicked ‘James get out of there’. Although canon-wise we don’t get a lot of 00q moments but at the very least their friendship is profound and Q cares deeply for him. We don’t get to see it, going from Skyfall to Spectre to NTTD, but he must’ve been in Bond’s ears for years, and their very last hurrah together was fitting.
Q in Bond’s ears, the very last person to standing right at his back, yelling at him to get out of there, wanting to see him off the island safely and seeing probably his favorite and least favorite agent through on his last mission - that meant more to me throughout this entire franchise than anything else. Everything was just nice.
(Now time to go find all my fix-it fics and revisit some of my fave 00q ones)
Bond and Everyone Else 
Wish we had more badass Moneypenny but glad she was there nonetheless - Mallory as always playing the in between white and black, and Tanner being the flustered, stressed out admin that needs a break. Nomi, who stood equally next to Bond and accompanied him on his very last mission. And perhaps it was also fitting that Felix Leiter went out with him, earlier than he, but since the start they stood shoulder to shoulder, a man Bond was glad to call his friend.
And these five movies gave Bond the dysfunctional family he never wanted but had to some extent - after Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace he truly was, even if he thought he was, never alone. Quite an anti-thesis to the suave, solo Bond that seems to we had until Skyfall. And contrary to the belief that he would die alone without anyone to remember him, he does. He truly does. And they are the ones who count.
Bond and Madeleine + Matilde
I thought I’d hate this token wife and kid and happy ending thing but I don’t. I really don’t. I love the different side we got to see for Madeleine, and Matilde was hilariously cute in several ways. It didn’t feel forced, like Casino Royale’s kind offff did. I love that they gave her characterization and that she was always generous with her emotions - of her longing for Bond on the train, of her anger, of how tough she was, and at the end.
Bond + The Villain + Safin
The only thing that kind of gets me is that Safin kind of came out of nowhere, doesn’t actually have much beef with Bond, and I can’t really tell what his obsession with Madeleine and Matilde is. I guess the moral of the story is that it’s always the same old story with villains right and that there’s always another one of Safin, but it’s almost hilarious how Safin doesn’t really have it coming for Bond. Blofeld’s antics were... just antics, and it’s almost like there was no true villain for this entire story, which is almost poetic.
Pacing + Other Things
We’ve come full circle from Casino Royal, Quantum of Solace to Skyfall (where I feel like Daniel Craig’s Bond really flourished) and then Spectre and No Time to Die - The storytelling is consistent throughout 15 years of run time and I’m glad we went from the cacophony of betrayal and trust issues, emo sadass i’m-gonna-die-alone vibes in every movie.
To be honest I thought it was going to be drawn out and cliched and it was to some extent but in all the nice ways - Daniel Craig really sang his swan song with NTTD and we had it all - the sort of happy ending he got with the love of his life and leaving behind a child, a part of him, with a strange professional but the closest thing to a family he ever had with Mallory and Tanner and Moneypenny, Q. He had the hero’s shot in the sunset at his very last moments, and not wanting to die but realizing at the moment that it was, to some degree, the end he was waiting for if he had no other choice. 
He got to die as 007 - and it was never just a number to him, and I’m glad he got to die with it. He got to die after using up all his shiny gadgets from Q, after saying goodbye to the love of his life, after having at least one day and night as a normal, actual family with Madeleine and Matilde. 
Did I think his death was necessary? I think it was fitting. I’d loved for him to get the happy ending truly, but this was a fitting way to go and as one review said “this eliminates any possibility of him having to come back and do a role he’s been wanting to drop since forever”. It was so fitting. His death was almost a quiet, peaceful and calm one, but at the same time he literally did go out with a bang as he probably thought he always would - he had both, and he had regrets but it truly was time and he was content with that.
Humour was on point too - softened Bond around the edges, made him seem not so emo and destructive (like he was at the beginning of Skyfall) anymore. A good mellowing out. 
I also loved that they came back to the betrayal trope but didn’t go too much into it because we’ve had that for every single 007 movie so far. Loved that Ana de Armas came out as a hilariously anxious but also weirdly confident and exceptionally competent interjection to the whole movie - Bond gets to work with gorgeous women all the time and he’s almost slept with all so it’s so nice to see Paloma and Nomi like going ‘nopeeeeee gotta do ma job cool thanks’ - no standard Casino Royale situation.
(I’m still amused that he went to infiltrate the island with like a navy knit sweater and a thin white shirt damn man)
Plenty of regrets of course - if he didn’t let Madeleine go five years ago he would have gotten five more years of family time with her and Matilde but I suppose trouble would have come knocking sooner or later, and I’m glad he had some soft tender moments with the sunlight behind him - we didn’t get much or any of these in the first three movies. 
NTTD was softer in all the right ways and every single loose end was tied up. I’d have loved for some mention of Judy Dench M or that pitbull figurine thing, but every box was checked, from Vesper to Felix to everyone else.
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