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stillness-in-green · 3 years

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Thoughts on Chapter 314 (and surrounding events)

Being a loose summary of several things I thought about in relation to the leaks, what they say about the series as a whole, a bit of new operating headcanon on the Peerless Thief, and a dash of how fandom is responding to the revelations. Spoilers, obviously.

This chapter makes it quite clear that the HPSC absolutely would have gone in and eliminated the PLF quietly, lethally, and wholly unlawfully if Hawks hadn't reported back the numbers that he did. The only reason the raid involved non-Commission-affiliated heroes at all is because the PLF's manpower was simply too much for the Commission to deal with via their usual methods. I'm both appalled that the disregard for human rights in HeroAca Land is somehow even worse than I thought it was and smug that that tiny little piece I recently posted criticizing the PLF's treatment has turned out to be totally justified and supported by the canon.[1] (Note that this does not absolve Horikoshi of the responsibility to, himself, treat the PLF better than paper dolls tossed into the incinerator of Plot Irrelevance when they cease being convenient to his story.) The fact that the Commission was forced to involve heroes might mean Re-Destro, Mr. Compress and the others are somewhat safer than might otherwise be the case. Because of the involvement of the unsuspecting stooges law-abiding heroes, and because the botched raid became such a huge disaster, there’s far more public scrutiny on this than would otherwise be the case. Of course, "accidents" can still happen,[2] especially in a chaotic environment, but the factors above (combined with Clone!RD murdering the bejeezus out of the Lady Prez) do, I think, suggest that there probably isn't an organized push for quick solutions going on behind closed doors.

I don't think Nagant has been around for a terribly long time or that there was an uptick in vigilantism in recent years—I think the scene where she mentions vigilantes becoming accepted as heroes is just in reference to the early history of heroism. It's in keeping with what Tsukauchi Makoto described in Vigilantes, and forms the basis of the current system—the current system that Nagant was a single cog in a big machine grinding away to preserve.

Speaking of Nagant and the system, it's interesting to me that one of the groups Nagant apparently targeted at the HPSC's behest was corrupt heroes—those who colluded with villains or specifically goaded/incited civilians into using their quirks illegally, thus turning civilians into capital-V Villains in the eyes of the law. One might easily say that targeting corrupt heroes (albeit using a much broader definition of "corrupt") was Stain's whole shtick, but it actually puts me more in mind of the Peerless Thief, Harima Oji. Harima punished greedy or corrupt heroes with theft, and presumably with a measure of declaration and exposure,[3] then distributed their money back to the streets. Someone who ridicules those who abuse their power, and gets away with it for long enough to build a reputation: that right there is a recipe for a folk hero. The HPSC, in whatever form they existed at the time, obviously couldn't let that go on—such repeated humiliations would weaken peoples’ faith in (and obedience to) the system the HPSC was trying to build. At the same time, though, it would also weaken faith in the system to openly acknowledge that system's flaws, to acknowledge that some pretty awful people had found their way into the heroics business specifically for the power and ability to abuse it that the title of Hero afforded them. Public trials would make it a matter of record that some heroes—and, accordingly, heroes at large—did not deserve the public's unquestioning faith. Obviously in a system that was built from the ground up on faith, that was unacceptable. And so Harima was branded a supervillain for exposing the system's flaws, while the corrupt heroes who embodied those flaws to begin with were—and continue to be—quietly disposed of at the HPSC’s discretion.

There's a lot of talk around about how Lady Nagant is stupid, or hypocritical, or delusional, or whatever other dismissive adjective people want to use, because she expresses a preference for AFO's rule over the HPSC's. Firstly, I think it's dubious Lit Crit to fault a character for not being a Paragon of Rationality, especially when they're under the cascading stressors Nagant has been under since she was, what, 13? 14? Forced to live this dichotomy of smiling gallant hero and ruthless covert assassin, had her life threatened by the man who'd taken her in,[4] probably dumped in Tartarus until such time as her trial could be held,[5] and kept in those ghastly, dehumanizing conditions for who knows how long? How shocking, that her objectivity might be somewhat compromised! Secondly, it's not like she's saying that AFO's rule would be a sunny walk in the park. The kanji she uses doesn't even mean "better"; while it can mean serene or tranquil, her more likely meaning is clear/transparent. Her phrasing indicates that she's aware it would be pretty bad; she's simply of the opinion that at least his rule wouldn't be a sham, a pretty lie. It would be bad, but everyone would know it. No one would have these comforting illusions they could lose at any time; if you stepped out of line and got shot in the head by an assassin, well, at least you would probably know you that being defiant was running that risk, rather than never seeing it coming because you'd been told all your life that Heroes Didn't Do That To People. Again, this is a woman whose life was shattered no less than three times by the duplicity of the highest acting authority in this comic.[6] She doesn't have to be Objectively Correct By The Standards Of Ethical Utilitarianism—nor do you have to agree with her choice that because she doesn’t want to live in the Matrix, no one else should get to either—for her opinion to make sense from her own perspective! Thirdly, while I think it's fair to say that the HPSC and AFO actually use fairly similar methods to recruit followers and punish dissenters, we have no idea how much Nagant herself knows about AFO's recruitment tactics other than her own brief experience of it. And while AFO is a controlling and manipulative bastard, at least in his case it's coming from a man who openly styles himself as a Demon King, not an organization positioning itself as lawful regulators of the protectors of society at large while secretly training child soldiers to flagrantly violate every law protecting the human rights and due process of that society's people.

Overhaul's presence is delightful, and yes, he is a victim of Hero Society, if only because Hero Society could have put him in some kind of prison-based rehab facility after Shigaraki was through with him, but chose to dispose of him in Tartarus instead, for absolutely no justifiable cause. I suspect it's only due to Horikoshi not being very interested in the harsh realities of the trauma caused by enforced isolation[7] that Overhaul is the only Tartarus escapee that talks to himself and has dissociated from reality almost completely. Overhaul's maiming was not the fault of Hero Society, nor did Hero Society force him to torture Eri and repeatedly commit cold-blooded murder. But his madness? Yeah, I'm pretty comfortable laying that one at Hero Society's feet, actually. I can’t wait for Deku to have to face the victim that Chisaki Kai has become due to levels of systemic cruelty and negligence that really ought to be criminal—and which, if this were real life, would be.

--------Lately, footnotes are really popular with us!--------

[1] Lady Nagant: *talks about how the Hero Society everyone believes in is illusory, a thin fake over a brutal reality, and that returning to the false simplicity of that status quo will only cause history to repeat itself* Me, two weeks ago: Hero Society will never stop creating its own villains so long as, every time it fails people, it does nothing but shrug and write off the victims as unavoidable, inevitable sacrifices for the greater good.

[2] Yes, I'm still highly suspicious of the "Destro committed suicide in prison" claim.

[3] Compress tells us Harima “preached reformation,” but regardless, you don’t dress up in a modified kabuki costume and waltz midair through nighttime cityscapes raining cash out of the sky if you’re trying to keep your activities a secret.

[4] And her family situation couldn't have been much better than Hawks', if she was targeted by the HPSC to begin with. I would guess she was an orphan in the childcare system, easy to move from whatever alternative care arrangement she was in, be it an orphanage, a group home, or simply mature enough despite her relative youth that she lived alone on government support payments—that kind of thing isn't as unbelievable in Japan as it is in the U.S.—to the HPSC's care.

[5] And given what we learned between this chapter and 297, I doubt she was even allowed to be present for it. Japanese law states that everyone by default is supposed to be present for their own trial, but as in the U.S, that right can be waived if the defendant proves themselves to be a threat to the safety of the judge, court staff and other attendees. And of course, what a threat the HPSC could have painted her as being!

[6] At least until Hori deigns to show us a damn Diet session.

[7] To say nothing of the physical consequences of spending six months stuck in a tiny room with no natural light while frequently being strapped into a straitjacket, of which there should also be several.

#bnha spoilers #bnha 314 #boku no hero academia #hero public safety commission #paranormal liberation front #harima oji #lady nagant #overhaul bnha #my writing?

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fimawari · 4 years

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Thoughts on the comic and Skully's Identity. [Slight Spoiler Warning? Not really any plot spoilers just details and characters.]

So a lot of people accept that Jay is probably Skully, either surviving or something else. However there's also speculation that it could be Alex, Jessica, or even Seth Wilson, a few thinking about Tim. (Though I would rule him out as the artist drew what he looked like in the Comic on another post) So I raked out every detail I can. Of course it can all just be a stylistic choice but whatever - make of it what you will.

It could just be some new random asshole, but It's a given they know Jessica, so it is very likely to be Jay. He presumed she was gone, unless he watched the last Entry. That would also explain "It's you" sort of "oh shit" moment. Jay was also set on looking for Jessica, so if he did survive, you could assume that would still be one of his motives. Tim wouldn't likely have that "it's you" moment because he knows Jessica is alive. Alex might have that reaction though. I believe he presumed that she was gone.

It also takes two things from Brian and Tim. The hoodie and the plastic mask. So this person has likely seen both of them and came to imitate their appearance.

Coat Buttons

The Jacket appears to have snap on metal buttons. It's typical for this style of jacket (similar to a utility jacket, which would be useful and warm to run all over the goddamn woods at night) to have the buttons placed on top of the left side for a men's jacket. (Of course it could just be any person in a men's styled jacket, but still.)

I picked this out because it's paid attention to very carefully as a detail. Of course that's good for continuity, but I know for filming Marble Hornets they were very careful with detail and hinting at things.

2. Height

They're only seen crouching up to a door with Jessica on the other side, but if they both stood straight, they'd come to be about the same height, which was true for Jay and Jessica in the series.

3. You are broken but you CAN be fixed

This is what the masked figure says to Jessica. Similar to ToTheArks video saying Alex was broken, but couldn't be fixed. That might line up with Jay's motives because he continued to think he could solve the situation. It could be argued he also believed Alex could be saved from the Operator. It it were Alex, it could be his own changed perspective in whatever "form" this is now. That would be quite interesting to see why he would go from wanting to destroy the tapes to actively giving someone the tapes.

4. Not a point but something I noticed.

On the Rosswood bulletin, there is a blurry poster that looks like it could be a "Missing" sign. Who for - I don't know, but it does kind of appear they have glasses, so it could be Alex? This could also just be meaningless background illustration.

In the same frame, Adam also talks about people getting lost in the woods and says, "The Majority of them were recovered safely but," and he stops. That's a pretty cliffhanger "but" there Adam.

Closer inspection of the Rosswood Map shows Rosswood Rd, mentioned in the series, and was supposed to be the road off the usual parking lot they stopped in when meeting up, and an X location to hard to read atm, but it is off the beaten path.

5. In a silly doodle drawing in the comic files, I did notice this poster with a skull on it. It may just be nothing but could also be implying that whoever is in the skull mask died and came back.

Also I appreciate that the soda is Conk.

6. It's Fall about 10 years later after the first incidents in Rosswood began, in the timeline 2019 ish, but that is apparent from the trees outside and the time the comic was created at.

7. Jessica has a "Sarah" in her phone. Could he literally the millions of Sarah's but I'll point it out anyway. But more interesting barely covered is Tim's contact.

8. I was thinking about why their seems to be Blue Lenses in Skully's mask, they're even visible from a distance. Now this is really digging at the bottom of barrel but when Jessica grabs the pipe to defend herself, it's highlighted by red for emphasis. Red and Blue have often been a scheme for duelity and such.

This repeats again in the second title page:

A lot could be discerned from it. Maybe she is Skully, like a second half of her, as one of her nightmares is fighting against herself. May also not mean that and be another symbol of duelity, red vs blue.

I don't think the blue is styling choice because you can quite clearly see eyes in Masky's drawing. I believe there is definitely something covering their eyes - like lenses. Their "fashion choices" are also leaning towards the expensive side I noticed. Unless they just stole it went to a goodwill and got lucky. A utility jacket like that would cost somewhere beyond a $100 unless you're lucky. I'd pay to see a cryptid running around in Gucci in butt-fuck-nowhere Alabama in the middle of the night. Or who knows maybe Alex got some prescription lenses put in that shit.

9. Do I even have to explain the symbolism of a Jay.

10. I can say with good certainty this probably symbolises Jessica's memory of Alex.

11. Some damning evidence, whoever is in the mask has access to the original entry files, not just downloaded YouTube stuff. Jay, Tim, Totheark would likely have access to that. Alex was pretty dead-set on having all the traces deleted, I'd doubt he'd have them all uploaded to a computer.

12. No idea what this might represent besides some metaphor for life being a merry go round, but in the postcard Skully is chilling on a horse lmao. "Stuck in a loop of unhappiness." Ring a bell?

13. Can't attach another photo but the abandoned house Jessica goes to has "Bones" written on it, much like the Hospital did. In the original series they said that graffiti was just there, so maybe they decided to work with it? Who knows maybe it's some kind of new group? Maybe ToTheArk vs "Bones?" You CAN'T be fixed vs You CAN be fixed.

14. I also can't speculate what it exactly means, but it's obvious Skully can talk, not seen previously with the others. Whether out of an inability or just not wanting to. Could be argued it's a person behind the mask by choice, not volition. We also don't really know if Brian chose his path or became that. But he became a masked cryptid after supposedly "dying". We also never see people "die" just assume they have died or are dead and they disappear. Tim implies that it's just feeding off them, physically or mentally. They always die off camera or get fucked off somewhere by the egg head. They appear dead afterwords, with Jay and Brian, but still missing. All of their bodies were taken by the monster and are god knows where in some seperate dimension. This is borderline r/im14andthisisdeep but what is "death" in this series. Does it mean gone permanently or just "gone" ... For an unknown amount of time. People die, but do they stay that way? Or do they die ... In one sense, but not the other, Losing something of themselves from before, and becoming something new. That would awfully explain Brian's behavior after Alex "killed" him. It's also implied there are others apart of ToTheArk that were never shown in the series, suspected to be other members of the original cast who maybe had "died" and come back as someone else. Something broken.

Tim seems to be an outlier. It's presumed he has avoided death, and essentially kept his mentality. But still slips into another form out of his control, usually in response to the monster or the hooded man being near and stealing his pills and shit. Is he between death? Is that why doucheslender follows him? "The one that got away." Istg I don't take drugs.

That was Michael from Vsauce thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

#Marble Hornets #mh skully #mh jessica #mh tim wright #mh jay merrick #mh alex #Mh theories #idk what else #marble hornets comic #pulling shit out of my ass #updated #fima

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dessiekarma · 5 years

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My Harem is Entirely Bad Boy Types (Kirisaki Daiichi x Reader) Pt. 7

Chapter 7: I Think We’re At That Point Were My Harem Story Gets Serious, And I’m Totally Not Ready For That!

“I’m sorry, I really don’t know.” (Y/N) responded, looking seriously at the woman in front of her.

“Nothing at all? Not even from all the time you’ve spent with him?”

“…Makoto’s reasons have never been very telling. He hurt Kiyoshi because he hates someone like him. He hurts everyone else because…he can. Because he wants to prove that anyone can be trash. I’m sorry but I can’t think of any other reason why.”

Ms. Hanamiya nodded slowly before pressing her hands tightly over her mouth to not let out a sob. (Y/N) didn’t know what to do. The older woman had asked this of her the day they met. To be able to sit and discuss with her…to discuss Makoto.

To know why he was the way he was and why he did all these awful things.

“So, you’re telling me he’s just…evil. It’s just in his nature. There’s nothing I can do.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean for it to come out li-”

“Don’t apologize. I’ve seen it for a long time…I just never did anything about it. Maybe it’s genetic and then that’s my fault because Makoto didn’t pick his father, I did.”

(Y/N) suddenly remembered the comment her captain had given about his dad during the interview. She had been curious ever since.

“Was his father a bad influence?”

“That man was the devil himself, but I always thought that since my baby was three when I finally left…that he wouldn’t remember all of it. That he would be different.”

“Remember all of what, ma’am?”

“The abuse.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It was my own fault. Everyone warned me about him and I knew how he was. But I was the baddest girl at school and wanted to be dating the baddest boy. He was a basketball player and I started talking to him after going to one of his games. Well I was probably barely sixteen when I got pregnant. I thought he’d want nothing to do with me but he invited me to live with him after my parents kicked me out.”

(Y/N) nodded to herself. She had figured as much with the woman looking as young as she did and having a son Makoto’s age. However, she had no place to judge her situation.

“I think he just saw our baby as the ultimate manipulation, a part of him I would always have. I knew I could have made it on my own but not with a baby. I stayed through all that man’s treatment because I wanted my son to have a better life than what I had. So, I would sacrifice my own body to be sure he stayed healthy.”

A lightbulb went off in the girl’s head, a possibly answer to one particular question of ‘why’. But still she said nothing.

“And when it was only me on the receiving end I was fine. But the day came when he struck our son too. Well me and Makoto shimmied out the bathroom window that night and scaled down from the 3rd floor with just one bag. And now I can’t help but think…I didn’t get him out of there in time. I let him watch this man put his hands on me for 3 years, eventually letting the same thing happen to him.”

“But you ca-”

“Yet…in the back of my mind I think of all the times I spoke to him gently. All the times I told him how he was supposed to be and how what his father was doing was wrong. I tried to show him to be kind and loving. Why didn’t those characteristics stick?”

“I think they did. Somewhere in there but they got mixed with everything else too. I won’t lie and say your son is a misunderstood and innocent soul. No, I may not believe him to be an evil person, but he’s done evil things. He’s ruined someone’s life. Still I think he can change, I think he needs serious help.”

“I know. I’ve known for a long time that he needed to see a professional, but I just could never get the courage to tell him. He just…the way he looks at me when he thinks I won’t notice. And he used to get so mad when I told him anything at all.”

“Ms. Hanamiya, are you afraid of Makoto?” (Y/N) asked with a firm voice. She watched the woman fiddle with her own cup of coffee before glancing around the café as if someone would hear her. “Are you afraid of your own son?”

“Makoto… he looks and acts so much like his father. It terrifies me…he terrifies me. When he was four, I remember taking him to the park and I looked up to see him pushing this little girl off the swing when there was an open one right next to her. I didn’t even scold him I was just stared. And he caught my eye and looked right back at me with no shame, as if he was studying my reaction. I’ve never stopped being scared.”

(Y/N) sipped up the rest of her tea and traced circles on the rim of the cup. There was a lot she had to say about this but nothing that she wanted to give as advice to a fully-grown woman. And she also knew that if her captain ever found out she was meeting with her…she didn’t know what would happen.

“Well that’s enough out of me. I know it wasn’t fair of me to try and get information about my son out of you and I wont waste anymore of your time.”

“Oh no, I understand why you would want to talk to me about it. But I do have to go, my team has a charity benefit to go to tonight.”

“A charity benefit? Makoto didn’t mention anything like that.”

“He didn’t want to go.”

“I see….is it black-tie?”

“Yes ma’am.” (Y/N) began before looking at her with serious eyes. “Is he not going because he doesn’t have anything to wear? I know he struggles to buy lunch sometimes and with you telling me he’s only at KiriDai on scholarship…I don’t mean to assume.”

“Not that he’d ever tell me but I do believe that to be the case. I don’t have a suit for him to wear and the nicest outfit he owns is his school uniform and even that cost me so much overtime to pay for.”

(Y/N) bit at her lip nervously. She wanted to do something, but she also didn’t want to offend. Taking a few moments to decide the girl put on a business face.

“You said you’ve worked at the department store for a long time correct?”

“Yes dear.”

“I can lend you some money if you agree to speak with the store manager for me. You see I’ve been working with this company…”

~~~~~

“Please! Please! Please! Please!” Hara said actually chasing the girl around the gym.

“Leave me alone! Do you know how hard it is to run in heels?!” (Y/N) shouted back as she clacked across the linoleum floors.

“I do.” Furuhashi deadpanned not paying Yamazaki any mind when he asked if he was joking or not.

“I wanna see what dress you picked! You can’t leave that coat on all night! Come on take it off!”

(Y/N) let out a yelp as Hara caught up quickly and hoisted her up over his shoulder. She laughed as the male spun her, trying to disorient her.

“Stop! I will pee on you in self-defense!”

“He’d probably be into it.” Seto commented fixing his cuffs.

“Eww who the hell would actually want that!?” Yamazaki exclaimed, looking disgusted.

“I do.”

“Oww did you actually bite me!?” Hara’s voice called out as he quickly dropped the girl to the floor.

“(Y/N) warned you. I know for a fact she’s a biter.” Furuhashi said extending his hand to help the girl off the floor.

“So, something did happen when you stayed at her place!?” Yamazaki accused with a finger pointed directly at the blank-eyed male.

Neither of the accused said anything, instead choosing to look away and ignore the loud male. The whole team settled down as they tried to adjust their formal wear. They were now just waiting on Seto’s ride to come and drop them off collectively at the venue.

(Y/N) checked her makeup for the 5th time since she arrived only for the compact to be gently taken out of her hand. Yamazaki snapped it shut and gave her a smile.

“You look gorgeous, stop worrying.”

“Thanks Zaki, I just want to be sure my makeup looks perfect.”

“I think you look perfect without it.”

Seto made a comical gagging sound but (Y/N) only smiled with a slight blush on her face. Standing up from the bleachers she reached her hand up to adjust her friend’s tie.

“You look very handsome too, Zaki.”

“So, when are we leaving?” A sudden deep voice called out from the gym entrance.

The team turned to see their captain standing there his a black on black suit. His usually stringy hair looked soft and one side was slicked back behind his ear. He didn’t try to make eye contact with anyone as he strolled in like it was perfectly normal.

“Hey you showed.” (Y/N) said with a teasing smirk. “I thought you were too good to come.”

“I never said that idiot. Don’t put words in my mouth. I couldn’t trust the reputation of my team to this motley crew. I figured I would come to keep an eye on you guys.”

“You clean up nicely. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you put this much effort into your appearance.” Seto commented with a small smile.

“Thanks. You guys actually came together pretty well too. Except for our little train wreck over here.” Hanamiya said coming up to (Y/N). “What’s with the trench coat, you a pervert or something?”

“I was saving my dress reveal until we got there but high demand means I must supply.” (Y/N) joked before unbuttoning jacket and allowing it to slip from her shoulders.

As the coat fell to the ground dramatically (Y/N) gave a slow spin. All the guys couldn’t help but stare. In her usual completely unsexy school uniform, she wasn’t the person you would cast a second glance at but this was definitely not her school uniform.

Her dress was an emerald green mermaid style with long black lace sleeves. The back was completely open, decorated only with thin sparkling silver chains. It fit her as if it had been one of a kind created just for her.

“So? How do I look?” The girl asked though she was already internally smirking from the boys’ reactions to her.

“Stop fishing for a compliment you know you look hot. Now let’s go.” Hanamiya said giving a slight eye roll before turning and calling his team out to leave.

(Y/N) smiled and began walking after her captain only to feel Yamazaki place a gentle hand on her elbow. Turning to him she noticed his face wasn’t as angry looking and strained as it usually was. He held his arms out to her with a smile.

“Can I escort you into the car?”

“Sure!”

“Yeah well I call escorting her into the actual event!” Hara said grabbing the girl’s other arm ungracefully.

“What? Hell no! Walking in with her on your arm, people will think you two are a couple! They already thought that enough when you two had Mako, now it’s free game!”

“You said it yourself! We have a child together, so of course I would escort her in.”

“What if there’s other hot girls there? Huh? When they see you with (Y/N) you’ll lose your chance with all of them.”

“You wish. I could flirt with any of them with (Y/N) hooked around my waist and I’d still get whoever I wanted.”

“You cocky asshole!”

(Y/N) watched the two friends bicker and chuckled as Furuhashi swooped in to actually take her arm and lead her out the gym.

~~~~~

“Hara my feet hurt!” (Y/N) pouted as the male dragged her across the dance floor. “Why do we have to dance every song?”

“Because I leave you alone long enough and one of our teammates will ask you to dance, or worse one of these other assholes might.”

(Y/N) rolled her eyes at that. She knew that her heart to heart with Hara had moved her up from spank-bank material to waifu levels but boy was taking this too seriously.

“Yandere type.” (Y/N) mumbled to herself, catching Hara’s attention.

“I thought we were all the bad-boy type?”

“Sure but now that I get to know you guys, there’s a few subtypes.”

“Oh really? I’d like to hear that.”

“Well Furuhashi is clearly the Kuudere type though he’s just a cocky comment and snobby laugh away from being Oujidere.”

“Baby girl, I understood maybe half of that sentence.”

“Furuhashi seems very cold and distant but from his random outbursts I know he sees himself as very high and princely. Got that stereotypical rich kid backstory to book. Yamazaki is probably the closest I would get to deredere bad boy, he’s usually the most upbeat out of yall though he’s probably just loud as opposed to cheerful.”

“Okay I can see those.”

“You are getting crazy possessive, so I’d say Yandere.”

“I’ll stab the next person who asks you for a dance.” Hara whispered jokingly only to roll his eyes. “Come on I’m not a yandere!”

“Fine you’re the lewd type then!”

“I’ll take that. What’s Seto?”

“Hmm I can’t say I know him well enough to have decided that yet.”

“Caps is tsundere all the way. I don’t even need to watch anime to know what that means and that it fits him perfectly. That or maybe he’s just an asshole.”

(Y/N) smiled as the song ended and she made her way back to the table her team had been sitting at. Hanamiya was on his phone seemingly disinterested in everything while Seto was trying his hardest to ignore the girl chatting in front of him.

Out on the dance floor Yamazaki had been asked to dance and seemed to be having a good time. And they’d all been surprised to find Furuhashi’s fiancé in attendance. (Y/N) smiled as her friend gave Yui a kind look and spun her gently to the tune of the new song.

Approaching the table, the girl chatting up Seto instantly grated on (Y/N)’s ears.

“Hey come on! Are you Young-Mi’s other son? I met your brother before! You know you look nothing like your parents but I recognize the name, Seto! I heard your mom has some big plans ahead any ideas what those are?”

Seto looked totally uncomfortable as the girl rattled off questions about his parents. (Y/N) wrinkled her nose at the girl, was she the daughter of a tabloid publisher or something? Hanamiya seemed annoyed as well yet not half as likely to step in and help his teammate out.

“Why don’t you come dance with me? We can talk out on the floor! Get to know me because I’d really really love to get to know someone like you.” The girl said pressing her chest into Seto’s arm only making the male cringe away from her touch.

“Kentaro!” (Y/N) called out flouncing to her friend. Coming up behind him she smoothly slid her arms around his neck before kissing his cheek softly. “Are you making new friends, love? Hi, (Y/N) (L/N)”

The talkative girl looked at (Y/N)’s extended hand in disgust but shook it anyway.

“And who are you exactly?” The girl said looking down on her.

“I believe I just told you, I’m (Y/N) (L/N). Kentaro’s special friend.” (Y/N) said running her thin fingers through the male’s hair. She was happy that he wasn’t uncomfortable with her being up on him but instead seemed rather content.

“I meant who’s your family, what are you connections.”

“Tsk tsk it’s rude to ask something like that before you’ve even given me your name.”

“Ito Hatsune. My father is a tv personality for Hito Ito.”

“Hito Ito? The Japanese TMZ knock off? Trying to get a scoop for daddy? I’m afraid you’ll turn up with nothing here. My love and his family try and stay scandal free, right Ken?”

Seto tried to nod but practically shivered at the way his name rolled off (Y/N)’s lips.

“How boring. She didn’t even put up a fight.” (Y/N) huffed as Hatsune turned on her heels and walked away quickly. Removing herself from Seto’s side she threw herself down in the seat beside him. “Sorry I was in your personal space, you looked uncomfortable and I figured that was the easiest way to make her go away.”

“No, thank you. I appreciate it.”

(Y/N) smiled brightly before her eyes flowed to Hanamiya who was still scrolling through shit on his phone. Now that she knew this wasn’t his world, she understood why he was withdrawing. He had no connections to make, no company to speak of. Had he not been a super intelligent basketball prodigy he wouldn’t even be here.

Beautiful violins swelled in the background and the young girl perked up immediately at the tune. Turning to try and find her dance partner she huffed as he was off dancing with a cute brown-haired girl.

“Seto, come dance this song with me.”

“I honestly cannot dance. Like at all. Sorry (Y/N) I would but that’s a type of embarrassment I don’t need.”

Pouting the girl turned to look at Hanamiya.

“No.” He said not even looking up.

“I didn’t even know you were listening! How did you know I was gonna ask you?”

“Because I’m not an idiot.”

“Please Hanamiya, it’s such a pretty song!”

“What? Do you speak French?”

“Uhh no.”

“Then you don’t even know what the song is about. It’s not some cute heart-touching ballad.”

“Then come translate it for me while we dance!” (Y/N) said getting up and standing in front of him extending her hand out. He looked from her palm to her face and realized she wasn’t gonna give it up.

“Fine, just this song.”

The girl smiled as Hanamiya lead her out of his team’s sight, to a more private corner of the dance floor. (Y/N) placed one hand on the tall male’s shoulder and locked her other with his firmly. She almost shivered as his cold palm pressed flat onto her exposed back.

“I admit I went through hell, didn’t I my love? Before I met you, my love.” Hanamiya whispered to her in a quiet voice.

“What?” The girl asked completely baffled by the male addressing her that way.

“Those are the lyrics, idiot. ‘Whether it pleases you or not in dancing the Javanaise.’” Hanamiya said, cutting through his own sentence with another translation. The pair swayed and (Y/N) watched him mumble the lyrics perfectly.

“I never knew you spoke French.”

“I speak several languages.”

“That’s incredible.”

“Not really, languages are easy. It’s just speaking, nothing difficult. ‘In your opinion what have we seen of love? From you to me. You really had me going, my love.’ Besides you speak two languages, don’t you?”

“Yeah but it was a bitch to learn Japanese and I had full on immersion learning. You’ve apparently just learned these on your own. Hmmm ‘You really had me going, my love’ that’s a heavy lyric, isn’t it?”

“I told you it wasn’t a love song. ‘Alas, April in vain dedicates me to love. I wanted to see that love in you, my love. Whether it pleases you or not.’ Yet everyone is dancing to it as if it is.”

“I disagree. Unrequited love is still love. You still feel it just as strong no?”

“I wouldn’t know. It’s a bullshit concept honestly. If you isolated the right chemical you could technically bottle ‘love’ and sell it as something people inject right into their veins.”

“You’re so smart but I think that’s why you’re so miserable.”

“I’m not miserable.”

“But you are. You don’t let yourself enjoy anything in life because you have to be so analytical of it. Look at everyone else just dancing and enjoying the music but you overthink the chemical process of love and the psychological implications of unrequited love. Anyone else would just enjoy a slow dance with a cute girl.”

“Oh really? And pray tell who said you were cute?”

“I believe the word you used was ‘hot’ no?”

Hanamiya scoffed, tensing up at the way the girl was trying to read him. He was one dimensional to most people. He was an asshole and nobody ever tried to see beyond that…he wanted to keep it that way.

“I know you’re not the actual airhead you pretend to be. But I’m smarter than you, remember that and know that you will never figure me out. I can see it in your face that you think you know me but you don’t.”

“You’re right but I’d like to. You’ve told me so very little about you. One particular thing comes to mind…why do you play basketball?”

“Really? Of all the things you could have asked, you ask that one?”

“I want to know. It’s not weird to want to know why someone does something that they invest so much time into. Why basketball? You’re so intelligent you could play an instrument, or shogi/chess, hell even another sport might have utilized your brain more so why this?”

“For exactly that reason. All of those things were so intelligence based that they came to me so easily. There was no effort in it. I could have chosen to do any of those things and would have been a GOM level prodigy at it but then it would have gotten old really fast. Intelligence could only get me so far in basketball if I didn’t have the physical skills to back it up. I had to actually work my ass off to be good, to reach the level that I did. Basketball isn’t boring to me. It’s probably one of the only things that make me happy.”

(Y/N) took in the honesty of that answer and let it stew in her brain. It made sense, he was basically Aomine but with intellect. Everything around him was just numbers and facts, it seemed almost sad to live in a world with no magic, no feelings.

“Life is not worth living without love. But you are the one who wanted it that way, my love.”

“You don’t have to want it that way.”

“I’m just telling you the lyrics.”

“I know. But I can tell you have a lot more inside you than just smarts. You have some feelings you can’t process with facts and it bothers you. You don’t have to go through everything on your own. Maybe it doesn’t seem logical to you but other might get it. You’ve helped me more than you realize and I’d do anything to repay you, remember that.”

“Whether it pleases you or not, in dancing the Javanaise.” Hanamiya ignored her and continued translating, he looked up at her and she could barely hear the final lyric. “We loved each other for the length of a song.”

As the instruments decrescendo off into nothing Hanamiya is left staring down into the eyes of a girl who he can feel staring right through him. She knows something and he doesn’t like that.

“Oww.” (Y/N) murmured, arching her back and pressing her body into his slightly.

Suddenly taking notice, Hanamiya withdrew his hand from her back. Unconsciously his grip on her had grown way too tight and even his nails were biting into her flesh. Almost as if a switch was flipped the male’s expression grew angry and he resisted the urge to push her away from him.

She watched as he scowled and stormed back to his seat. The girl deflated at the events. It was always 1 step forward 2 steps back with him and she didn’t know what she was doing wrong. She hadn’t even said anything this time.

“Well I’d heard Kirisaki Daiichi had gotten a new manager. You seem to be holding your own well with them.”

(Y/N) turned to come face to face with none other than Akashi Seijuro. In trying to make connections, she found out quickly that he was the one to know. They’d only briefly spoken a number of times at events like this and also because his father did business with some people very close to her.

“Akashi-san, how nice to see you.” (Y/N) bowed her torso at him and his own teammates behind him.

“Come now, you weren’t nearly so formal with anyone else here.” The magenta haired male hooked a finger under her chin and lifted her face up to look her in the eye.

“Woah! Who the hell are you!?” Hara’s voice suddenly echoed in (Y/N)’s ear as he strolled up beside her. The rest of the team including Hanamiya were not far behind. “Hands off!”

“Akashi Seijuro, and you are Hara Kazuya correct? Second son of the Hara Hotel empire. I must say (Y/N) makeup and hotels don’t really mix, now do they? Not a very wise business move.”

“Kazuya and I aren’t dating.”

“And what does makeup have to do with anything?” Hara snapped.

“Hmm they don’t know?” Akashi asked with a small smirk on his face. He knew they didn’t. “(Y/N)’s the hei-”

“I work for New Face, you know, that really popular makeup brand. I’m nothing more than a wholesale associate, I get stores to carry the product that’s all.”

“Why didn’t you want us to know that?” Furuhashi asked, almost not believing everything and believing she was purposely withholding information.

“Because none of you guys work in that sense. I didn’t want you to look down on me.” (Y/N) was stammering a bit before a very tall and attractive looking man stepped forward and gently tilted her chin back and forth.

“I love your highlight, it’s so natural. Is it New Face?”

“Oh no, this is a new brand I thought I’d try out.” The girl said awkwardly as the feminine male studied her entire makeup look closely.

“You really should show me before the night is over! I’m Reo, by the way.”

(Y/N) shook hands and instantly felt a little insecure. This guy had really nice hands and was prettier than she was.

“So, are you a boy or a girl?” Hara asked rudely causing (Y/N) to slam her elbow into his ribcage.

“Ha! She’s got fire, I like that. And to answer your question my dear lavender blossom, I am an experience.” Reo said flipping his perfect hair. The gorgeous male pirouetted away to the rest of his team, sitting at their own table.

“Now, if you’ll excuse us, I believe I was having a conversation with (Y/N). Can I have a minute alone with her?” Akashi’s voice came out smoothly as he waved a hand to shoo off the KiriDai boys.

“With my manager? Hell no.” Hanamiya said, instantly not liking the attitude this guy had. He’d played him before in middle school and even though he was a hell of a lot creepier then, this shit wasn’t gonna fly. He tugged the girl’s arm and pulled her into his chest.

“Oh come now. I love getting to know all the members of the elite teams. I might have had the chance to speak with her during the Winter Cup if your team had made it that far.”

“Oh shit.” Seto mumbled, knowing full well there was about to be a blood war between the two god-complex males.

“Yeah you didn’t exactly win that tournament either and you actually care about that shit. You got beaten by the same team that beat us, so I don’t believe you have room to talk.”

“Our team would wipe the floor with your rich boy asses!” Hara exclaimed blowing a large bubble.

“Aren’t we just a bunch of rich kids too?” Yamazaki said with a metaphorical sweat drop on his head.

“Is that truly what you believe? Well how about we test out that theory. One Gom and three Uncrowned Kings against a team that I hear, doesn’t utilize the only tactic they had to win anymore.”

~~~~~

“Ooo! Damn!” (Y/N) shouted out as Hara fell on his ass while Akashi rushed past him. “Cross him up!”

“Who the hell are you cheering for?!” The teen yelled at his friend.

“The only dude out on the court breaking ankles! Woo!” She cheered again as the game grew even more heated.

Seto smiled at the girl who was obviously enjoying herself.

“It’s not easy bitch!” Hara cursed as he rubbed his tailbone. “I’m not exactly used to playing in dress shoes and slacks.”

“Sounds like an excuse TO slack!”

“His Emperor Eye is pretty impressive, isn’t it?” Seto asked the girl sitting beside him on the park bench. He watched the girl wrinkle her nose slightly as she mulled it something over.

“I mean he’s really amazing at basketball but why the weird names for their ‘special moves’. Like he’s crossing people, not using a Pokemon attack.”

Without intention Seto let out a booming laugh that even caught (Y/N) off guard. She smiled as the male hid his grin behind a large hand as laughter trickled off into chuckles.

(Y/N) felt herself smile as the boy beside her was slowly beginning to open up more. He was usually fairly quiet and the last time they really spoke in depth was when they sang together during the cultural festival.

The girl was snapped out of her thoughts as Reo caught her eye and beckoned her towards him with a long delicate finger. Totally captivated by the young man, she navigated her way carefully across the park court.

Reo patted the bench next to him and (Y/N) sat quickly.

“So, now that we have some time where did you get that makeup from? Not just the highlighter but the lipstick and eyeliner too!”

“It’s a new brand that just launched, ‘Me but Better’.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever even heard of it.”

“Well so far only one store in Japan carries it but-”

“What the fuck!”

(Y/N) spun around quickly, startled by the angry voice of her captain. She was expecting him to be scowling at one of the Rakuzan boys but instead he was storming right up to her with her own phone in his hands.

“What the hell is this!?”

“My phone…what happened?”

“Your phone rang and guess who’s fucking calling?!” Hanamiya shouted, getting much closer to the girl in a threatening manner.

“Ryo? Shoichi? Umm…”

“My mother!” Hanamiya’s voice practically roared as he threw the phone to the ground. “What in the actual fuck do you think you’re doing talking to her?!”

“I just…why did you grab my phone?” The young woman sputtered not knowing how to answer him.

“Why did I grab your phone?! Is that really all you have to fucking say!? So what have you been telling her? About that time I nearly choked you or about how I broke someone’s leg?”

“No, I haven’t told her anything she didn’t already know.”

“That she didn’t already know? That’s such fucking bullshit! I should have known you were messing around in my business when I got that call from YOUR boyfriend telling me if I didn’t play nice for you that he would go and find my mother and tell her all this shit I’ve been keeping from her!”

“No…that doesn’t make any sense! I didn’t tell him to do that, I don’t even know how he would have your number! And nobody needs to tell her anything! She’s not stupid, she knows all about you and basketball and Kiyoshi!”

Hanamiya looked as if he was about to explode before he let out a small almost chuckling sound.

“You remember you saying you’d do anything to repay me right? You can stay the fuck away from me from now on.” The dark-haired male brought his foot down on the girl’s cellphone smashing it into an unusable mess.

(Y/N) winced but barely allowed the man to storm off the court before she too was on her feet. She was about to run after him but Hara stood in front of her quickly.

“You were actually talking to his mom? We’ve known him for years and we’ve never even seen her.” Yamazaki said looking very concerned.

“It’s not like I tried to find her! Furu and I ran into her at the mall the day he got engaged!”

“You never told me that.” Furuhashi stated firmly, not wanting to get tangled into the predicament.

“She asked me to meet her! What was I supposed to do?”

“Tell her no.” Seto said running a hand through his hair. “You didn’t have to agree to meet up with her, you could have told her you didn’t feel comfortable talking about him.”

(Y/N) blinked a few times. She knew that she came in hard on the defense, ready to blame his mother for something that her own curiosity had led her to agree in the first place.

“I just…he’s always so miserable. I thought if I knew why then I could-”

“Well you can’t, so just stop while you’re ahead.” Seto replied firmly.

“But I…” (Y/N) began to think about the explosion that was sure to go off when Hanamiya finally got home. From what she’d gathered, his mother would be quite frightened and if she was being honest…she wasn’t sure what her captain was capable of. “I can’t just let this happen. I can’t let anything bad happen between them because of me! I don’t want to be a burden on his life!”

“Do you know where he lives?” Reo’s voice suddenly came up behind her as he placed both hands on her shoulders firmly.

“Yes, his mother gave me their address when we met up.”

“I have my car with me, I’ll take you.”

“No, you won’t.” Furu said pulling (Y/N) by the wrist firmly. “Just leave it alone.”

“I can’t! I don’t know what will happen! What if he gets really mad, or she kick him out or some other bullshit and I just ruin their lives!?”

“What’s done is done!” Hara snapped out at the girl.

(Y/N)’s body shook and when two tears cascaded down her face the boys knew they should have said something different.

What they should have said was she wouldn’t ruin their lives. What they told her…

“No…you’re wrong. I can’t accept that I can’t change things! I won’t accept having no control in what I’ve done to someone else’s life! …. You can’t stop me.”

And they didn’t.

~~~~~

“Seriously! Haven’t you done enough!?” Hanamiya screamed out as the girl raced up the steps of his apartment complex and called out to him.

“Please! I never meant any harm, I just wanted to help your mom.”

“Help? Help her with what?!” Hanamiya practically barked out at her. “What you think you have to fucking save her from me!? Huh?! You think I’m gonna hurt her!?”

(Y/N) cowered back in fear, as her captain got in her face.

“The only one that’s going to be hurt is you, if you don’t get the fuck out of here!”

While the girl wanted to call his bluff, she also knew when he was angry his violence didn’t discriminate. Still, despite herself, she needed to get out of the corner she’d backed herself into. With as much force as she could she attempted to push him away from her. His body nearly got thrown off balance before he grabbed her wrist tightly.

“Stop! Makoto, please!” Both teens turned their heads to see the male’s distressed mother opening the apartment door and rushing outside.

Though the small woman was shaking she forced her body between the two and stared up at her son in timid defiance. She took the girl’s hand from his grasp and held it gently, trying to comfort her.

Hanamiya took in the way she held the girl closely and the way she looked at her with such care in her eyes. His own hand hung limply at his side and before he could help himself a tear ran down his face.

“Why…why are you defending her? She’s not your daughter…You’re not her mother!”

Mrs. Hanamiya was stunned by the hurt look on her son’s face. She hadn’t seen him cry in years. Even with as vulnerable as he looked right now the second, he took a step towards the two women, she instantly jerked back.

“I think I should just go.” (Y/N) mumbled, seeing a side to Makoto she wasn’t ready for.

“Oh now you think you can just go?” The male said, moving to block the stairwell. “You wanna be in my business and leave when things get a little tense?!”

“I never meant to-”

“It was all me! I burdened her to meet up with me. Please, let’s talk about this.”

“Talk about this!? You should have wanted to talk with me about this before talking to her! I barely met her, what the hell could she possibly know about me?!”

“You…you always spoke so highly of her compared to others. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were particularly fond of her. I figured, if she was able to get close to you, if you had feelings for someone like her then maybe-”

“Maybe what?”

Hanamiya waited for his mother to answer but he knew she wouldn’t continue.

“Maybe it meant that I wasn’t a lost cause? That I was capable of human emotion? That I’m not some goddamn monster!?”

“I don’t think you’re a monster.”

“Then why!?” The male screamed out, probably startling the entire apartment complex. “Why have you always looked so terrified of me!? Why did you always flinch away from me when I never did a single thing to you!?”

(Y/N) felt the cold air whip around her as the night breeze began to pick up. She wished she hadn’t told Reo to go home. She wished she hadn’t come here. She wished she’d never gotten involved.

“Its just because you’re so big and intimida-”

“No, that’s bullshit! I remember everything! Even when I was small and I came running to you, you’d move away. I’d try to hug you and you’d push me back. You would only show me affection when you wanted…So what is it about me?” Makoto now had streams of tears coming from his eyes, not caring that (Y/N) was seeing. “You always told me you just weren’t the physically affectionate type. But if that’s so…why does she get to touch you? Why are you so afraid of me?”

(Y/N), only now, realized how she and her were clinging onto each other for support.

“You just…if you can remember that surely you can remember all the fights you got into as a child! All the times I had to pull you off some other kid in the park. It’s like violence was engrained in you and you know how your father was. I was just so afraid that you wou-”

“My father…so because my father was a piece of shit, I wasn’t allowed to make mistakes!? I was a little boy and you always treated me like I did something wrong. You were the only person I had in this entire world and you were never on my side. You always thought the worst of me. It didn’t matter what I did. I could get the best grades, be a sports prodigy, get into some rich kid school and for what? You still only see me as your bastard that trapped you with that asshole for three years.”

Mrs. Hanamiya finally released the girl’s hands and took a tentative step towards her son. His tears were heartbreaking, and she would have given anything in that moment to have done things differently.

“That’s not true. You have always been the light of my life and you were the only good I ever got from that man. I’ve never had anything and I’ve always done wrong, including how I raised you but sweetie…you’re my best thing. Having you was the only thing I ever did right.”

Hanamiya lifted a hand to wipe at his face only to catch the flinch in his mother’s face. Lowering his hand once more, he knew that all the kind words she was saying meant nothing. Because it was in his nature, in his fate, in his blood.

“You still…you still see me just like him. Did you know when I was ten, I went to find my dad? I wanted to know if I really was like him. Did you know he’s in prison?” Mrs. Hanamiya’s breath caught in her throat. “For sexual assault.”

(Y/N) felt her heart drop into her stomach. Mrs. Hanamiya hadn’t told her anything of the sort but she and her captain were thinking the same thing.

“Did he…? Am I just some constant reminder of this horrible thing that happened to you? Is that why you hate me?! Is that all I’m destined to be in your eyes?”

“No! I don’t know what that man did once I left. But I loved your father, our relationship was abusive but not…that. And Makoto, I love you.”

“But you don’t like me.”

Hanamiya let the whistling wind be the only noise between the three for a while. His mother averted her eyes and he knew why. He’d hit the nail on the head with everything. His own mother didn’t like him. She never answered him on her perception of his destiny. And her unwillingness to answer was the loudest response he could have received.

What had only been sorrow turned to anger quickly.

“So he was abusive? You knew it and you stayed with him?”

“For you!”

“Yeah…and that’s why people like you make me sick. Fucking martyrs, putting their own well-being on the line for others. And for what? To come to resent the very people they were protecting? To lord their pain over them for years? I didn’t ask you to stay with him! I didn’t ask to be born! If you knew your life was falling to shit, you should have done the responsible thing and just had an abortion, instead of ruining yours and my life!”

(Y/N) gasped at that comment and with a quick turn of her head placed both hands over her mouth. Tears streamed down her own face and she shook thoughts from her head. Glancing over at Mrs. Hanamiya she saw the woman’s shoulders shaking in sobs.

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry you would rather have not existed than to have me as a mother. Nothing has been your fault and I’m sorry I couldn’t treat you the way I should have.”

With that the woman fled down the stairs quickly. Both teens were stunned at her quick escape. Makoto whipped his head around and watched her make her way down the street.

“Shit, it’s dark and she shouldn’t be out by herself right now. What the fuck is she thinking?” He said to himself as he turned towards the staircase.

(Y/N) grabbed his wrist quickly and gave a gentle tug.

“No, wait. I think she needs this time to think on her own. Just give her a little time, I know things will be fine.”

“You know? What the fuck do you think you know about my neighbourhood? Maybe taking a stroll around your private estate at night is perfectly safe but it isn’t always that way here, okay?”

“Hanamiya.” The girl pleaded once more now standing between him and the stairs, her grip still on his wrist. “Believe it or not I understand, everything.”

“How could you even begin to understand? Look just call your personal driver and have him take your spoiled privileged ass home.” He snapped attempting to push past her.

“I can’t d-”

“Let go!”

“NO!”

(Y/N) felt Hanamiya jerk her arm up to get her to release his hand. He was successful in his attempt, but the motion had the girl off balance. Still in her heels from earlier, there was no hope of steadying herself.

The staircase seemed much higher as each stepped cracked into some part of her body. One area alone didn’t have time to process the pain before another felt it too.

And just when it should have been over and the steps should have ended, her head came into contact with the cement at the bottom.

She could hear quick footsteps down the staircase and then nothing.

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faneliacosplay · 5 years

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Top 10 of 2018

C2018 was a year is this nicest way I can sum it up. My precious fur-baby passed away after fighting a horrible illness and is in a happier place, my health went crazy (still is as of writing), and I finally broke free from an abusive toxic person who had been controlling me for a huge chunk of my life. Despite the bad things that happened, I want to focus on the good things of 2018. One of things I began doing in January of 2018 was at the end of every week, I would write down all of the good things that happened to me, be it sewing, watched a good movie, spending time with a friend, etc. So without further ado, here’s my Top 10 of 2018! (I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S ALREADY MARCH!!)

1. The Ancient Magus’ Bride

- I’ve been a lifelong fan of Beauty and the Beast-like stories ever since I watched the classic Disney film. The manga kept popping up in my recommendations for the majority of 2017 and I remember seeing a poster at my local theater for a premiere showing of the first 3 episodes of the then-upcoming anime (I have since regretted not going to this showing). I finally caved and bought the first two volumes of the manga and literally went back to the store two days later and bought the next 2 volumes. I’ve always been a very picky person with my romance be it movie, novel, anime, manga, etc., but this quickly became one of my favorites with it’s excellent world-building, relationships, and don’t even get me started on how gorgeous the animation is! If you want an excellent Beauty & the Beast adaptation, you won’t be disappointed. (I am unashamed of crying happy tears in public while watching the final episode)

2. Satoshi Kon’s Filmography

- My New Year’s resolution was to watch all of the late Satoshi Kon’s works, starting with his debut film Perfect Blue. I had wanted to watch this film for several years, and it did not disappoint. (I kept spamming for people to go and see it when it got a theatrical re-release in Fall 2018) Next was Kon’s final project Paprika, which I watched about 3 times in May and many times over 2018 and still notice something new every time I watch it. Finally, I watched *the* film that I have wanted to watch for many, many years (since 2004 to be exact): Millennium Actress. I was not prepared for how moving this film would be with its themes of the past vs. present, how an ordinary encounter can lead to something so much more, and lastly: love transcends time. If you could only watch one of Satoshi Kon’s works, please choose to watch Millennium Actress. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to watch Kon’s other two works, but I aim to in 2019 (along with reading his works)

3. Slayers

- I watched some of Slayers back in middle school and in summer 2016, but never took off with it until in 2018. I knew I would like this funny series about the adventures of a fiery sorceress, dumb as a stump swordsman, optimistic hero-in-training, and an overly-serious chimera, but I had no idea it would become one of my top 10 favorite anime series! I haven’t laughed so much with an anime in a while, and I greatly appreciated it since my fur-baby passed away and this was one of the last anime we watched together. There’s just something about 90s fantasy anime that’s just so appealing. I will throw in that while I love the tv series, the films are worth watching too, with The Motion Picture being my favorite. If you need something to cheer you up, I highly recommend Slayers!

4. Venom

- Confession: I did not have high hopes for this movie. I was the only one among my friends who was uninterested in this film whenever we would watch the trailers/promos/etc. Eventually after this movie came out, my friends and best friend convinced me to see it. My sociology buddy told me “This movie wasn’t marketed right! Go see it!!” and another told me “This is the best action rom-com of 2018.” The next day my family asked me if I wanted to see it and Bohemian Rhapsody (also an excellent film) and I said “Sure!” This film has since spawned never-ending jokes between me and my best friend. (I ended up making her a Venom scarf for Christmas!) If you’re trying to get someone to see this film, don’t show them the trailers depicting it as a dark, gritty, action thriller, show them the home video trailer depicting it as a rom-com because that’s exactly what it is. I still can’t believe that a movie about a human falling in love with a man-eating gooey alien is real.

5. The Shape of Water

- “2017 will be remembered as the year men screwed up so badly, women started dating fish.”- Jimmy Kimmel, 2018 Oscars. I’m beginning to see a pattern for stories of humans falling in love with monsters. My mom and I wanted to see this film after the trailer dropped in summer 2017 and were disappointed when the film didn’t play here. However, sometime in February 2018, this film played in our town for one weekend, so we dashed to the theater. I don’t even know where to start with how beautiful this film is and since several people I know still haven’t watched it I’ll just state this: Please watch this film. It earned the 4 Oscars it won. (It earned all 10 it was nominated for!)

6. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse

- I almost didn’t see this film. 2018 was a pretty hectic year for me and I didn’t really keep up with films/entertainment news, so I saw no trailers for this film (except for a really short tv ad). All I knew was what my best friend had said: “Brianna, let’s go see Spider-verse. In 3D.” (y’all, 2018 was the year of listening to my best friend) It was so nice not only to see a different Spider-Man, a diverse cast, a well-curated soundtrack, and a completely new style of animation that makes you feel as though you’re reading/watching a comic book??? Sign me up! I’m so happy this film won the Oscar!!

7. Macross Frontier Movies

- I’ve fallen deep into the Macross hole in the past year or two and have no plans of crawling out. The 2008 series Macross Frontier was my first and favorite entry in the series so far. I knew that there were two recap/alternate retelling films made, so when I was free one day I watched them and I was really surprised that I enjoyed them more than the tv series!? I haven’t really mentioned this, but my big problem with the tv series of Frontier was it’s ending being not too good. I don’t want to ruin it since Macross (particularly made after 2001) is a bit unknown in the USA, but I will say that if you want to get into this franchise, start with the Frontier movies or with the iconic Macross: Do you remember love? film. The music is just as good as the tv series, same with the costumes, and the writing is much better! The performance of Northern Cross at the climax of The Wings of Goodbye was really moving. Not “Do you remember love?” moving, but pretty close.

8. Sailor Moon Theatrical Double-Feature

- Everyone who knows me knows that I’ve loved Sailor Moon for pretty much all of my life (ever since the 3rd & 4th seasons aired on Toonami back in the day!) A holiday tradition for me was to watch the 2nd theatrical every Christmas Eve, unfortunately my two VHS tapes finally gave out in 2016. Thanks to Viz Media, this past summer saw theatrical re-releases of all 3 Sailor Moon films. Shockingly, my local theater was showing the films subbed so my mom and I bought our tickets right away. It was so surreal seeing these films that I grew up with on the big screen, and I know non-Sailor Moon fans won’t get this, but hearing/watching the whole “Moon Revenge” sequence in the theater was so intense. This part never got to me as a kid for some weird reason and I had no idea I was crying until my mom pointed it out at the end of the film. With the 2nd film, seeing Luna transform into a human was emotionally moving as always, just 10 times more since it was on the big screen with that nice surround sound system. That night when I got home, I didn’t get any sleep since I still couldn’t believe that this happened. The now 20+ years old Sailor Moon movies got released for the first time in USA theaters. This is an experience I’m going to remember for the rest of my life.

9. Cardcaptor Sakura: Clear Card Arc

- I was so excited when a sequel to Cardcaptor Sakura was announced. Like Sailor Moon, I watched this series as the heavily-edited Cardcaptors on Toonami. When I got older and learned that there was more anime out there besides the ones I saw on TV, I went back and watched Cardcaptor Sakura to get the whole, magical story and even read the manga, which I believe is the greatest children’s manga ever made. I loved every single moment of the new series and felt as though I were watching another episode of the classic series. The only thing that felt different was that the animation is no longer hand-drawn. (it’s still good) When you reboot or make a sequel to a series be it tv, film, or book, sometimes it’ll miss the charm that made it so enjoyable in the first place. Clear Card thankfully still carries the charm its predecessor had.

10. Little Witch Academia

- I had started this anime around holiday 2017 but didn’t finish it until early 2018. This was one of the most optimistic series I’d ever had the pleasure of watching. I don’t want to compare the two, but the inspirational message that Kiki’s Delivery Service gave me when I was 10, was the exact inspirational message you will find in Little Witch Academia. (and that I needed to hear as a 20-year-old) I was starting to get a bit depressed and losing confidence in myself with my science grades getting lower no matter what I tried, as well as other things in my personal life. After dropping Science, I had a long wait between classes, so I decided to start watching Little Witch Academia again. Seeing our protagonist Akko trying her best at flying a broom and failing was me with my science grades, but her determination to get her broom just a few centimeters off the ground was so inspiring to watch. After this I watched the other Studio Trigger works I had yet to see, and while they’re all good in their own way, none of them have left the imprint LWA left on me. Sometimes when I get frustrated or lack confidence in myself, I tell myself Shiny Chariot’s words of wisdom that motivated Akko throughout the series: “Never forget your beautiful dreams. Believing is your magic!!”

#2018 #2018 in review #The Ancient Magus Bride #millennium actress #satoshi kon #slayers anime #lina inverse #venom #the shape of water #into the spider verse #macross frontier #sailor moon #cardcaptor sakura clear card #clear card arc #little witch academia #brianna talks #slayers

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btshodown · 6 years

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STF - Tidal Wave

↳ “ Finally cashing in your vacation time and heading out to a little island off the coast becomes so much more than what you were expecting. A cute surfer by the name Taehyung decides he wants to show you what its like on his side of the waves.”

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader Genre/Warnings: Mainly comedy with sprinkles of fluff and sexual themes Word Count: 1,829 Tags: @hadskye

➭ Huehuehue...this all sprang from a message Admin RD sent to me about this gif and the surfer vibes Tae gave out. So tada~ This will be a mini drabble series of segments of the reader and Surfer Tae as they get to know one another.

The heat of the sun warms your skin pleasantly as your bare feet sink into the tepid sand; your eyes searching for the perfect spot to set your towel to begin sunbathing. The sudden increase in heat lately made for the optimal time to spend on the beach to try and find some coolness on your normally scorching days holed up in a temperate room testing synthetic skin. The company you worked in began a breakthrough in the newest technology and with a nice, hefty donation, finally had the financial means to carry on with numerous testing.

The pay was very, very, generous, but your time to yourself and friends became limited when you were one of the few to get promoted to begin the experimentation. Although, with finally having enough vacation hours accrued from the years working at the company, you couldn’t have fled fast enough for a month long time off.

So here you were in a small island off the coast and having arrived just an hour prior, you excitedly find a spot on the sand; about a yard away from any other people visiting the beach. With a satisfied huff, you plop onto your towel and pull off the knitted dress covering your bathing suit, slowly applying sunblock with a hum. As you did so, you let your eyes discretely glance around the people speckled across the beach behind your sunglasses. You idly wonder about what stresses each person was running away from when you spotted him.

It was like looking at the sun with how bright his blonde hair shined. His caramel skin glowed against the rippling water of the waves and you swore you had never seen someone so ethereal before. There was no denying that the man before you could very well be Poseidon; the waves seemed to naturally curve around his feet. That’s not even to mention your awe sparkling further when you see him dive into the water with a surfboard you hadn’t noticed, and began paddling his way out further into the clear waves. You really didn’t want to become a creeper just staring at the man, but it was incredibly difficult not to do so; especially when his skin tight, long sleeved shirt left your mouth to salivate wondering what was underneath.

With hurried motions, you begin setting the rest of your things into place to fully appreciate the view gifted to you and with a pillow resting against your tiny cooler, you finally settle in. Your body now propped into position, it was easier to gaze at the man’s impressive figure as his strong legs balanced on the surfboard and navigated him gracefully through the clear waves. Perhaps you were being a bit too much when you reach around to take out a chilled Smirnoff Ice bottle from your cooler and sip on it to watch the surfer, but you wouldn’t let yourself think about it too much.

This is was your time to finally relax and this gorgeous siren of a man was unwittingly giving you a beautiful scenic view to enjoy while you did so. And oh my, those wet shorts were working extra hard to cling onto his ass so as to not fall off with the powerful bashing of the ocean’s waves; you silently prayed to Neptune to let them slip off.

You were in the middle of appraising his rather large feet and wondering if those were proportionate to something, when those same bare feet were suddenly making their way to you and made your tongue feel like sandpaper. Your nerves were like a live wire as his figure is fast approaching, not letting your reassurances of him not coming to you specifically when his strides are utterly leading him to you. What could he possibly want to say to you? Surely he hadn’t been able to see how you were openly staring at him with your sunglasses on, had he? Oh god, what if he had and he was on his way to cuss you out for being a creep? Was it too late to pack up your things and quickly flee?

Finally he got to where you were while you panicked silently and stopped before the towel you were sat on; his looming shadow easily engulfing your figure. His mocha eyes bore into your own despite the cover of your sunglasses and you have to clench your fists to avoid popping your mouth open in awe. His tongue flicks out to wet his lips as he finally opens them to speak to you, and all you could do is hang by a thread to await his impactful words.

“Su’ dude.”

So bewitched by the deep timbre of his molten chocolate voice, it took a few seconds for your brain to process his words and when it did, you swear your soul shriveled just a tad. All this anticipation and mystery, just for him to utter that? You’d be lying if you weren’t a little disappointed, and sure that made you a bit of a judgmental jerk, but you preferred your men to be a little intelligent. You wanted someone to stimulate you in invigorating conversations and keep up with your ever moving thoughts; so perhaps you could pretend as if you didn’t hear him.

“Um, so I kinda noticed you staring at me and honestly, you’re really pretty so I couldn’t help myself. I’d remember a face like yours, you new to the area or visiting?”

Well shit, he was more charming than what you thought as he easily squats by you and flashes you an endearing smile that looked a bit rectangular. Not only that, but he completely caught you red-handed and called you out on your ogling, making your cheeks brighten in embarrassment. Despite that though, there wasn’t anything arrogant about the way he just now spoke to you, only truthfully honest and sincere. Would it be such a bad thing to simply talk to him in spite of your previous judgements?

“V-Visting,” you clear your throat at your stutter and try to even out your nerves, “and please don’t misunderstand, I wasn’t staring at you. The ocean is just very…beautiful to look at.”

A dark brow rises at your statement and the simple action has your insides squirming, even more so when his lips slowly quirk to form a knowing smirk. Well crap, maybe you had judged much too harshly because it seemed as if the stranger before you was much more perceptive than what you had given him credit for.

“You sure bout’ that?” his voiced lowered just a bit as his eyes disarmingly caught yours in an intense stare. “Cause from where I was it seemed like you were looking at something other than the ocean’s beauty.”

Your eyes widen comically and while your sunglasses covered your surprise, your mouth opening did not, and if his smirk turning into a grin was anything to go by, he had noticed the effect his words had. “Yeah, w-well, things aren’t always what they seem,” you manage to choke out a bit indignantly.

A weird look crosses his handsome face as his eyes beseech yours, no doubt wanting to take off your shades and see your whole face, but instead his lips form into a small smile. “Yeah, guess they aren’t.”

You fidget under his intense scrutiny and silently finish off your drink, putting the glass bottle away in your cooler behind you as you try to ignore his eyes following you. “So, uh, you’re really good at surfing. I’m assuming you live here?”

“Thanks and you’d assume right. I would visit this little island a lot with family when I was younger and decided to just move here. So now I teach little kids how to surf as a job,” he blinks suddenly as if remembering something before smiling sheepishly, “I’m Taehyung by the way. What’s your name beautiful?”

Your own brow rises at this, both from the mini back story of how he came to live here and the mention of his name, but with his compliment you flush again and finally remove your sunglasses. His skin looked even more radiant without the color distortion from your shades and it made your breath hitch as his eyes almost greedily drink in your unobscured face. Now, your confidence was by no means lacking, even if you weren’t pretty to everyone, you knew your worth; but with someone as attractive as the man beside you, it made your confidence tremble.

“Y/N,” your voice comes out more self-assured than you felt on the inside and you hold onto that feeling, hoping to calm your nerves, “But…teaching kids how to surf is your job?” At his nod, your lips twitch and your head tilts to the side in false innocence. “So…you’re a beach bum then?”

Finally, his own confidence shakes as his mouth pops open at your slight insult and seeing it, it only made your own grin emerge. You were mainly teasing, but the small judgmental part of you prayed he wasn’t actually a beach bum. It’d be such a horrible mood spoiler if he was.

“What? No, no! I’ll have you know that my surfing class has a waiting list, mainly by single mom’s which is weird,” his vehemence slowly fades out into slight confusion in the end as he stays silent for half a second before focusing back on you with a small pout, “but I am not a beach bum. I even live in a really nice apartment on the ocean front!”

A small snort escapes you at your poor attempt to not laugh and his small frown lets you know it’s not appreciated, but it held no heat despite it. So far, you had to admit to your pride that you misjudged the man before you; he was so much more complex and enigmatic than you originally believed. Truly, the first day of your vacation was going better than you had ever hoped for.

“Right,” your tone was sarcastic and teasing.

His pout deepens as he leans in closer to you, catching you off guard as his childlike anger dissipates just as quickly as it came and instead the intensity from before returns. His deep, brown eyes pull you in like tidal wave and you’re powerless against it. “Let me prove it to you then. Come with me to my apartment so I can show you.”

Your teeth quickly catch your bottom lip as his words ignite a simmering fire in your veins, warming you from the inside as your lips twitch into a coy smile. “Okay, show me then.”

His devilish grin is enough to have you in a daze and euphoria to begin bubbling under your skin, the anticipation of your vacation heading in a different direction than what you had imagined nearly crippling you. After all, summer was all about throwing away inhibitions and taking every opportunity that came at you, right?

#Surfer!Tae au #Taehyung #Kim Taehyung #V #Tae fic #Bts #Tae fluff #Bts fic #I finished this is 5 hours :')#I still have that hybrid Guk wip #And Remember You part 4 too #And that Saxophonist Tae wip too....#I have so many wips holy fuck #Anyways yeah lemme know what ya think #:)#Btshodown #Admin LD

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britesparc · 3 years

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Weekend Top Ten #462

Top Ten Things That Hopefully Will Actually Happen in 2021

I mean, it’s got to be better than last year, hasn’t it? Just on law of averages. I know it’s not really the greatest start. Everything’s shut again but it’s colder now. We’ve not got a handle on this thing. The idiots are still in charge. But I still feel cautiously optimistic. There is a vaccine now, at least. Trump is gone, barring some cataclysmic last-minute kerfuffle. A new lockdown is required, so hopefully however painful it is right now it’ll be the death throws of this wretched virus. Will 2021 look like 2019? No, not a chance. But maybe by summer, by autumn, we’ll be well over the hill. 2022, hopefully, will be great.

Not that I’m writing off the new year altogether! No siree. I think this is the year we turn the corner and see the road before us. I think this year can be good, and I think that – outside of pandemic and politics – there is quite a lot to look forward to.

I’m not right now talking about personal ambitions or wider, geopolitical hopes and dreams. This is all about stuff that I want to see or play or whatever. Things that don’t really have any bearing on if the world keeps spinning or we all make it through another tumultuous twelvemonth relatively unscathed. Just, y’know, stuff that’d be nice.

Cinematic Superheroes: 2020 was a bonkers year, and one of the things that was bonkers as it unfolded was how all these huge movies kept getting pushed back. As a result, there were precisely no Marvel Cinematic Universe productions released. Like, at all. Thankfully – hopefully – that will change in 2021. As well as some Disney+ stuff (see below) there’ll also be the belated release of Wonder Woman 1984, which came out around Christmas but which I’ll probably stream this month; and, lockdown permitting, we should finally see the likes of Black Widow, The Eternals, and things that were already scheduled for ’21 such as DC’s The Batman and The Suicide Squad. And y’know what? I’m even looking forward to Zack Snyder’s Justice League. Yeah, maybe some more will slip, but I’m just glad that we’re finally getting some men in tights back in our lives.

Plus all these Great Shows: just before Christmas Disney outlined its slate of upcoming releases and by Crikey it was mega. And the best part is, so many of these shows and films are imminent! In a couple of weeks WandaVision will hit Disney+, and later this year we’ll also see (I do believe) The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, maybe Loki, The Book of Boba Fett, and maaaaaybe if we’re lucky Obi-Wan Kenobi. Even outside of the other movies and things that they announced, and even if we don’t look as far ahead as 2022, Disney+ has a hell of a lineup for this year, and even if lockdown closes the cinemas, we can still enjoy a nice good stream.

Starred Up: the arrival of Star, the “grown-up” channel on Disney+, was confirmed (and confirmed to be included in the existing sub, which was nice), and recently it was announced that it will go live on February 23rd. For some reason I was expecting it later, so that’s nice. It’ll be good to see some of the smuttier Marvel movies make their return (especially Fox’s X-masterpiece, Logan), but I’m more looking forward to having all the Die Hards and Aliens in one place. Even the crap ones.

Finally, Halo Infinite: I really like Halo; it’s pretty much the reason I ever bought a console in the first place. So I was incredibly excited for Halo Infinite, and – I must confess – a bit disappointed by its reveal. A delay is fine; take your time, do a good job, try to avoid crunch. I’ve got more than enough to play. But with my pretty new Series X installed next to my shiny new 4K TV, I’d love to get into a proper new Master Chief adventure once again. And finally it’ll happen! My Big Christmas Game for 2021 is sorted.

Return of the (Lego) Jedi: speaking of Big Games for 2021… I love the Lego games from Traveller’s Tales, and it all started with Lego Star Wars. With the release of The Rise of Skywalker in 2019, I kind of assumed they’d be making a new one, and they are: The Skywalker Saga. Much delayed (I think it was meant to come out last summer originally?), but finally making its debut at some point in 2021, it promises to be a more expansive effort than any previous Lego game, and also offers a fresh look at every film in the increasingly-inaccurately-named trilogy. My youngest is really getting into Star Wars and she loves the Lego games, so this is something we can really enjoy together.

2020’s Greatest Hits: yeah, lots of great things coming out in 2021, but I gotta say one thing I’m really looking forward to is catching up on all of the things that were supposed to come out in 2020. I’ve already mentioned the likes of Black Widow, but there’s Coming 2 America (on Prime Video in March), Dune (potentially still hitting cinemas), No Time to Die (God knows), Spielberg’s West Side Story (delayed a whole year!)… even smaller-scale things like the cool-looking Freaky have been pushed right back. And whilst I’m not exactly looking forward to it, pity poor Peter Rabbit 2, knocked from an early Easter slot when the first lockdown hit, only to have its February half-term run destroyed by Lockdown III. Maybe next year, eh, Peter?

Matrix of Leadership: The Matrix turns 22 this year, shockingly enough, and last time I watched it was still absolutely brilliant in one of those hardly-ever-happens ways. The sequels I could live without, although I’ll warrant they’re still stylish with nice action, but they were a huge disappointment (moreso for me than the often-lambasted Star Wars prequels). However, I am super excited for Lana Wachowski returning to direct a fourth Matrix movie. I don’t know why, but I just think it’ll be great; there’s twenty years’ worth of “internet stuff” and “games stuff” and “comics stuff” she can use as reference or in-joke, and let’s face it, Keanu Reeves has never kicked as much ass in his life as he does in the John Wick movies, so we don’t need to worry about that. What the hell will it be about? How can you make a sequel to what felt like a pretty definitive ending? I mean, half the characters died (spoiler!). But I don’t care about that, I just want to see it (hopefully at a cinema).

One (Other) Ring to Rule Them All: I ended up spending quite a bit of time in Middle-Earth in 2020, including reading The Hobbit to my girls, Unfinished Tales, and Ian Nathan’s book about the making of Peter Jackson’s trilogy, Anything You Can Imagine. So I am, shall we say, primed for Amazon’s new TV adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkien’s opus. The Lord of the Rings series – as I think it might still be called? – will be set a lot earlier than the more famous stories, and although there are a lot of potential hiccups and hurdles in the way, I hope the less-familiar period and setting will offer scope for a series to make its own unexpected journey, showing even those that have read The Silmarillion something they’ve not seen before. I hope they don’t try to make it into Game of Thrones, and I hope they don’t try to shoehorn in too many aspects of The Lord of the Rings (I mean, hobbits shouldn’t really feature too much into it, surely?), but the pedigree is strong and I’m very excited.

Sinful: Russell T. Davies’ last show, Years and Years, was a fascinating combination of terrifying apocalyptic sci-fi and domestic soap opera, and one of the best things that happened in 2019. His next show, It’s a Sin, is about something altogether more real but still apocalyptic: the AIDS crisis in the gay community of the 1980s. I imagine he’ll still be expertly combining soapy drama with casual gaggery and moments of utter heartbreak. Apparently this is a story very close to his heart that he’s been wanting to tell for – yes – years and years, so it’s sure to be one of the TV highlights of 2021.

The Unconfirmed: one of the great things at the start of the year is, you don’t know what you’re going to get. Sometimes you get, well, 2020. But sometimes you don’t! Sometimes you get a year in film like 1984 (Terminator! Ghostbusters! Gremlins!) or 1999 (Matrix! Fight Club! American Beauty!); sometimes you get a year in gaming like 1998 (Half-Life! Zelda! Grim Fandango!) or 2007 (Halo! BioShock! Crackdown!). What’s coming this year? Well, with the new consoles out, we’re going to finally start seeing some new games that wrestle with the hardware; not just the cross-generational likes of Halo or Horizon but some new games, some unannounced games. We’ll also, no doubt, see proper footage and trailers for stuff we do know – Hellblade, Fable, hopefully Perfect Dark. Taika Waititi’s got at least two films on the go; that’ll be good. Spielberg doesn’t usually rest on his laurels; he’s finished West Side Story, so what’s next? Bond will come out, somewhere, somehow; will we get the announcement of a new Bond? Speaking of recasting, is Jodie Whittaker really leaving Doctor Who? I’ve not been too fussed with the show the last couple of years, but I’m always rooting for her and will be sad to see her go; but does that mean we’re in for another New Doctor palaver later this year too? Will we see or hear anything of Rian Johnson’s Star Wars films or, even better, a Knives Out sequel? The new Stranger Things has got to be this year, hasn’t it? What about Star Trek – Picard season 2 and Discovery season 4 should be happening, but will we also see the Pike and Georgiou-focussed spin-offs? God knows! It’s all up in the air! And these are only the things that we know or can speculate a little bit about! But that’s what makes it so exciting.

Well, that’s it for now. As I write this, what can only be called a mob of white supremacist terrorists – idiot insurrectionists, if you will – have stormed the US Capitol. Truly terrifying scenes, given the added worry of the Twat in Chief using the crisis as some phony excuse to cling on to power. I have faith that it’ll be resolved, short-term, and that democracy – capital-D Democracy – will endure, for now. But it just goes to show how volatile everything is. The kids are being homeschooled again. London’s hospitals are teetering on the brink. There’s gunfire in the Senate. But the first Black Senator just got elected in Georgia. My wife’s playing Ooblets. Somewhere it’s sunny, somewhere else a kid’s catching snowflakes, and somewhere else again some lucky sod is getting to watch Nine to Five for the first time ever. Things are scary and often crap but on the whole I think the arc of the universe tilts ever so slightly towards Being Generally Okay.

Take care of yourselves, wear a bloody mask, and here’s to 2021 Being Generally Okay.

#top ten #films #tv #games #halo #xbox #star wars #marvel #mcu #dc #batman

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weekendwarriorblog · 5 years

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WHAT TO WATCH THIS WEEKEND March 29, 2019 - GODZILLA vs. ROCKETMAN vs. MA

As I mentioned over at The Beat, this is gonna be a doozy of a weekend, one where we can see some interesting things at the box office as three fairly strong movies open against the second weekend of Disney’s Aladdin.

The big (and I do mean “BIG”) movie of the weekend, and one I quite enjoyed was Mike (Krampus) Dougherty’s GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS (Warner Bros.), which continues the story set in Legendary Pictures’ 2014 reboot and adds new characters, and more importantly, MORE MONSTERS!!! I think there are still fans of Godzilla out there who will want more monsters and hopefully an interesting way to build on the Shared Universe being created by Legendary with next year’s Godzilla vs. Kong. I hope this movie does well enough that they keep making these movies, which I’m sure aren’t inexpensive.

You can read my review of that here, and check out my interview with Mr. Doughtery over at The Beat.

A movie that I was surprised by how much I LOVED LOVED LOVED is Dexter Fletcher’s ROCKETMAN (Paramount), starring Taron Egerton as singer/songwriter Elton John. It’s a straight-up jukebox musical of a biopic that uses John’s songs as the framework to share his memories with Egerton singing most of the songs himself. He’s absolutely amazing, and I wouldn’t even be remotely surprised if he is nominated and wins in the Lead Actor category, because he gives an unprecedented performance. (I’m hoping I can finish up my glowing review of the movie soon, but as you can surmise from the above, I loved the movie and I recommend it highly to anyone not interested in Godzilla – but I question those who aren’t interested in Godzilla, too.)

MY REVIEW OF ROCKETMAN

I wasn’t quite a big fan of Tate Taylor and Octavia Spencer’s MA (Universal), a thriller with a fun premise that finally puts Spencer in the spotlight with a leading role. That said, I do feel like it gives way too much away in the trailers. It’s definitely a weird and pretty effed up movie, and Spencer is great, as is the young cast, but it just didn’t connect with me or wow me as much as I hoped. I wish I had more time to write a review, but I will have an interview with Tate Taylor soon. (Honestly, the interview didn’t go great, which didn’t help when I wasn’t that enamored with the film in the first place.)

LIMITED RELEASES

My favorite movie of the weekend, outside of Rocketman, and one of the few I’ve seen is the new film from Denys Arcand (The Barbarian Invasion). THE FALL OF THE AMERICAN EMPIRE (Sony Pictures Classics) seems like a different movie from him, starring Alexandre Landry as Pierre Paul Daoust, a courier who happens upon a botched robbery and ends up taking millions of dollars left behind by the robbers. Of course, he uses his newfound riches to hire a high-priced escort (Maripier Morin), who he falls in love with, and hires an ex-con imprisoned for money laundering (Remy Girard) to be his financial adviser. Unfortunately, the gang whose money he stole and the police are all looking for the money, and they get very violent with anyone they think might know where it is. It’s another fantastic ensemble piece from Arcand that has all of his humor but is a bit darker and more violent, and there are aspects of the film that reminds me of the films of David Mamet. Ultimately, it’s quite an amazing fable about how if you help out others (as Pierre Paul does), things will come back to you in return.

Filmmaker Brian de Palma is back with DOMINO (Saban Films), which stars Game of Thones’ Nikolaj Coster-Waldau as a Danish police officer named Christian who wants to get justice for his partner killed by an ISIS member. This puts him into a conflict with a CIA agent (Guy Pearce) who is using that ISIS member to trap others. Sadly, I haven’t had a chance to see this, but it also stars Carice van Houten (from Black Book) and it will be in theaters and On Demand this Friday.

Premiering at Film at Lincoln CenterFriday is Dominga Sotomayor’s Too Late to Die Young (KimStim), which takes place in 1990 as Chile transitions to democracy as seen through the eyes of a 16-year-old named Sofia. The movie premiered at last year’s 56thNew York Film Festival, and Sotomayor will be in town for screenings on Friday and Saturday.

Premiering at the Metrographto correspond with and tie into the theater’s Northern Ireland: Battle of Images series (see below in Repertory) is Donal Foreman’s THE IMAGE YOU MISSED, which goes through thirty years of footage left behind by his late father Arthur MacCaig (who has two movies in the series) and shows never-before-seen images from the war in Belfast, Northern Ireland. I’m deploy interested in the “Troubles” that plagued the area for decades, and I hope I can get over there to see this and some of the movies in the series.

Some interesting stuff at the IFC Center (and possibly other locations) this weekend, including A.B. Shawky’s Egyptian film Yomeddine, as well Joshuea Riehl’s doc The Russian Five about how a quintet of Russian hockey players helped save the Detroit Red Wings in the late ‘80s. (This has actually played in other parts of the country, but I missed the listing. Sorry!) Richard Miron’s doc For the Birds (Dogwoof) also opens there, looking at a woman named Kathy who has 200 pet chickens, ducks, geese and turkeys. It will then move to the Laemlle Monica on June 14.

New York’s Film Forum gets Gerald Fox’s doc Leaving Home, Coming Home: A Portrait of Robert Frank (Greenwich) starting Wednesday about the famed photographer.

I wrote about Andrew Slater’s doc ECHO IN THE CANYON (Greenwich) when it opened in L.A. last week, but I finally got a chance to watch it before it opens this Friday at Angelika Film Center, and it’s much better than I expected. The film covers the California Sound out of the Laurel Canyon area in the mid-60s, which included the Beach Boys, the Mamas and Papas, as well as the Byrds and others. I was never really into that scene or music so much but hearing some of these songs again in this context gave me goosebumps, as Slater and exec. producer Jakob Dylan, who does many of the interviews, did a fantastic job telling the story of this music scene.

LOCAL FESTIVALS

There’s some great festivals taking place in New York and surrounding areas as well as a place quite a bit away.

Let me start by mentioning that the New York African Film Festival continues on Thursday up at Film at Lincoln Center, beginning with Frances-Anne Solomon’sHERO: Inspired by the Life and Times of Mr. Ulric Cross, about a West Indian lawyer who joined the Pan-African movements in the ‘60s. The Centerpiece of this leg of the festival is Joel Karekezi’s The Mercy of the Jungle on Saturday about the Second Congo War. It’s quite a rich line-up that you can read about at either of the links above.

Next, let’s go down to the IFC Center for the 3RD ANNUAL SPLIT SCREENS FESTIVAL which celebrates the “Art and Craft of Television” with a number of amazing events and screenings, beginning Weds. May 29 and running through Monday, June 3. People who attend can see an early screening of Ava DuVernay’s When They See Us and Deadwood: The Movie (see streaming below), as well as events/presentations for CBS’ Instinct with Alan Cumming in person, as well as Pamela Adlon’s Better Things (she’ll be there, too!) and a special presentation of (S)Heroes: Women of Action. Check out the schedule, because if you’re into television, there is a LOT of great stuff here every year. (I attended theVanguard Award presentation last year for Sandra Oh, for instance.)

If you don’t mind hopping on a train trip out of the city, you should try to get out to the 5th GREENWICH INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL, which will present early screenings of lots of movies, as well as panels and presentations with Eva Longoria Baston and Bobby Walker Jr. receiving special honors. Some of the filmsbeing shown include Gurinder Chanda’s Blinded by the Light, Tom Shadyac’s Brian Banks as well as Mads Brügger’s doc Cold Case Hammarskjöld and the doc I Want My MTV. Local animation house Blue Sky Studios has a special panel on Sunday, and there’s also an anniversary party including a performance by Kesha, so this is a pretty big deal.

A bit off the beaten path is this year’s Overlook Film Festival, held in New Orleans, which is becoming one of the must-attend genre film festivals. (Of course, I’ve never attended.) It’s being billed as “a four day celebration of all things horror in America’s most haunted city,” opening with Jim Jarmuch’s The Dead Don’t Die and Tate Taylor’s Ma, but also including a bunch of films that have played festivals like Ant Timpson’s Come to Daddy, starring Elijah Wood, and Peter Strickland’s In Fabric, which both played the Tribeca Film Festival.

Basically, there’s a lot to do this weekend if you’re not busy with some of the movies mentioned above.

STREAMING AND CABLE

I’m really looking forward to the Netflix romantic comedy ALWAYS BE MY MAYBE, which stars stand-up Ali Wong and Randall Park (one of my favorite comic actors) as childhood friends who have an awkward tryst in college and suddenly run into each other 15 years later. The two actors co-wrote the script, it’s directed by Nahnatchka Khan, exec. producer of Park’s show Fresh Off the Boat, and it also stars Daniel Dae Kim (as Wong’s fiancé who breaks up with her) AND Keanu Reeves! Can’t wait to see this!

Also premiering on Netflix Thursday is the Ava Duvernay=directed series When They See Us (premiering a night early at the Split Screens Festival mentioned above) about the Central Park Five.

HBO will premiere David Milch’s Deadwood: The Movie, which I’ll have to watch but only after rewatching the three seasons which ran from 2004 to 2006, which I haven’t watched since then.

I don’t have DC Universe (yet!) but premiering this Friday is the new SWAMP THING series produced by James Wan, which might finally give me the excuse to subscribe to the network so I can see this as well as Doom Patroland other things I’ve been meaning to check out.

Also streaming on Hulustarting Saturday is Ryan White’s doc Ask Dr. Ruth about Dr. Ruth Westheimer, the Holocaust survivor turned sex therapist who celebrated her 90thbirthday last year.

REPERTORY

METROGRAPH (NYC):

This is a huge week at the Metrograph as they’re kicking off an extensive Jim Jarmuschseries with some of his best movies, ranging from his earliest film Permanent Vacation (1980) and Stranger than Paradise (1984) right through his 2016 films Paterson and the Stooges doc Gimme Danger. Jarmusch will be there for select screenings, although as of this writing, it hasn’t been announced which ones. This weekend sees Down by Law (1986), Dead Man (1995) and Stranger Than Paradise.

I’m also intrigued by another new series called Northern Ireland: Battle of Images, a series of docs and shorts about the “Troubles” in Northern Ireland. Sadly, I haven’t seen any of what they’re showing but I generally trust the Metrograph programmers and many of the films in the series only screen once, so don’t miss out.

Late Nites at Metrograph presents Georges Franju’s 1960 thriller Eyes Without a Face which inspired both John Carpenter’s Halloween and Billy Idol’s hit song, while Playtime: Family Matinees is Jacques Tati’s Monsieur Hulot’s Holiday (1953), which is a great introduction to the French mime-turned-filmmaker. Also, on Wednesday, Metrograph is presenting a new restoration of Derek Jarman’s little-seen 1990 film The Garden (Zeitgeist/Kino Lorber), starring Tilda Swinton, which was never been released on DVD or Blu-ray. (Tilda will introduce a screening of this Tuesday night as well as be there for a sold-out screening of Sally Potter’s Orlando.)

THE NEW BEVERLY (L.A.):

If I get this up on time, you may be able to see the Weds. matinee of Howard Hawks’Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953), starring Jane Russell and Marilyn Monroe. Weds. and Thurs. sees a double feature of Eve’s Bayou (1997) and Daughters of the Dust (1991), while Friday and Saturday is a Dorothy Arzner double feature of Dance, Girl, Dance(1940) and The Bride Wore Red (1937). This weekend’s KIDDEE MATINEE is one of my favorite early Disney movies,The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes (1969), starring a very young Kurt Russell. Friday night’s Midnight movie is Tarantino’s Death Proof, while Saturday’s midnight is the Canadian comedy Outrageous! (1977), starring Craig Russell – no relation to Jane or Kurt, I imagine. Monday afternoon offers a matinee of Neil Jordan’s Anne Rice adaptation of Interview with a Vampire (1994), starring Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt. Also, Sunday and Monday sees double features of Stanley Donen’s gay comedy Staircase (1969) and John Huston’s Reflection in a Golden Eye (1967), starring Elizabeth Taylor.

FILM FORUM (NYC):

The Jewish Soul: Classics of Yiddish Cinema continues its run with Edward Ulmer’s 1940 musical comedy American Matchmaker. Harold Lloyd is back at Film Forum Jr with his 1923 film Safety Last! with piano accompaniment. Also, the international retrospective The Hour of Liberation: Decolonizing Cinema 1966 – 1981continues over the weekend with the 1969 Brazilian film Macunaima, the Bolivian film Blood of the Condor (also from 1969), Nelson Pereira dos Santos’ How Tasty Was My Little Frenchman (1971), Med Hondos’ 1970 filmSoleil O (which is supposed to get a 4k restoration soon), Perfumed Nightmare (1977) and more.

EGYPTIAN THEATRE (LA):

TheCassavetes/Scorsese: Love is Strange isn’t quite finished yet, but on Thursday, it continues with Love Streams (1984) and Casino (1995).Thom Anderson will be on hand to show his 2003 film Los Angeles Plays Itself on Friday, then on Saturday, there’s a Malcolm McDowell double feature of Cat People in 35mm(1989) and Time after Time (1979). There’s a special FREE event on Sunday for the TV show Good Girls with a panel of the creators/cast that’s followed by a screening of the 1980 movie 9 to 5.

AERO (LA):

The late French filmmaker Agnes Varda gets a tribute double feature with screenings of One Sings, the Other Doesn’t (1977) and the 2017 doc Faces Places on Thursday, and then Whit Stilman has a TRIPLE feature Friday for the 25thanniversary of 1994’s Barcelona, along with Metropolitan (1990) and The Last Days of Disco (1998). Saturday sees a Terry Gilliam double feature of 1985’s Brazil – my all-time favorite #1 film by the way – and 1981’s Time Bandits, and there’s a family matinee of Brian Levant’s The Flintstones (1994) with Levant in person, celebrating the film’s 25th anniversary. Not to be outdone by Metrograph, they’re showing a double feature of Jim Jarmusch’s Stranger than Paradise (1984) and Down by Law (1986) and next Wednesday, there’s a free screening of Jarmusch’s new movie The Dead Don’t Die.

IFC CENTER (NYC)

This weekend, Waverly Midnights: Parental Guidance shows Mary Lambert’s movie based on Stephen King’s Pet Sematary (1989), Weekend Classics: Love Mom and Dad will screen the classic Kramer vs. Kramer (1979), and Late Night Favorites: Spring will show Dario Argento’s 1977 film Suspiria… again. (Has anyone not seen it at this point?)

ROXY CINEMA (NYC)

The Tribeca hotel-based theater is showing Luchino Visconti’s 1963 film The Leopard in 35mm on Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday, eand then the ‘80s classic The Lost Boys (also on 35mm) Friday.

FILM OF LINCOLN CENTER(NYC):

Ester Krumbachova: Unknown Master of the Czechoslovakia New Wav eends Wednesday, while the reshowing of Sergei Bondarchuk’s 7-hour 1969 adaptation of Tolstoy’s War and Peace (winner of the Foreign Language Oscar that year) will run this week through Thursday.

MOMA (NYC):

Abel Ferrara: Unrated wraps up this week with China Girl (1987) on Weds., 2005’s Mary on Thursday and then Ferrara’s fairly recent Alive in France on Friday. TheJean-Claude Carrière series also continues.

MUSEUM OF THE MOVING IMAGE (NYC):

The Queens-based theater is also showing Thom Anderson’s 2003 film Los Angeles Plays Itself on Friday (as part of an “Essay L.A.” program), but obviously, if you read above, you know that Anderson will actually be in L.A. that night. Saturday afternoon, Jackie Chan’s Police Story (1985) is playing as part of MOMI’s “See It Big! Action” series.

LANDMARK THEATRES NUART (LA):

This Friday’s midnight movie is the Beatle’s A Hard Day’s Night (1964).

Next week, it’s Universal’s animated sequel The Secret Life of Pets 2 vs. Fox/Disney’s Dark Phoenix! Plus Mindy Kaling and Emma Thompson’s Sundance hit Late Night is also released.

#WhatToWatchthisWeekend Godzilla Rocketman Ma

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laughriotgrrrl · 7 years

Photo

Iliza is wrong. But it’s not her fault (kinda).

By Bobbie Oliver On Twitter: @TheBobbieOliver

Iliza Shlesinger begins her interview in Deadline Hollywood ok, “a big part of my comedy is wanting to speak to women and people that are my age in a funny and relatable way. I think the landscape of what’s available out there for women is not as extensive as it could be.” So far, so good (except the limiting it to people her age). But, then she goes on to say:

“I’m so glad you asked that [the way she portrays female comedy in her new project] because I put in those sketches and no one’s ever asked me about it because I think people were too busy laughing in agreement. As a comedian, I have a set of morals. I have a specific point of view. I think a lot of what I see out there, out in comedy clubs, watching contests, watching TV, watching movies—gathering data from these different matrixes…

When you’re a woman in comedy and you get a break, people get so excited about it, but while we have to work hard to get that attention, I do think many women think, “Oh if I just act like a guy, if I go for that low hanging fruit…” Everything’s about sex, or how weird I am. It all just kind of runs together.

I could walk into The Improv, close my eyes, and I can’t tell one girl’s act apart from another. That’s not saying that 30-something white guys don’t all sound the same sometimes, but I’m banging my head against the wall because women want to be treated as equals, and we want feminism to be a thing, but it’s really difficult when every woman makes the same point about her vagina, over and over. I think I’m the only woman out there that has a joke about World War II in my set. I think shock value works well for women, but beyond that, there’s no substance. I want to see what else there is with such complex, smart creatures.”

I included the quote so no one could say I misrepresented her words. Those were her exact words. Since this was released, Iliza has been bombarded with responses from female comics (myself included) because it turns out people weren’t just “laughing in agreement” and that she did not succeed at talking to women “in a relatable way.” Did Iliza look at those comments, think ‘hmm maybe I am missing something and should listen to these women’s collective experiences?’ Spoiler! Um, no. She doubled down; she attacked; she ranted and raved and blamed women with (since deleted) tweets to the effect of ‘women shouldn’t complain about what I said; women just need to get better; my experience is more valid than yours; I worked TEN WHOLE YEARS and nobody gave anything to me; everyone is just jealous; if it doesn’t fit you, don’t be offended...’

There is SO MUCH to unpack there, and I may be all over the place cause I’m pissed I have to sit down and blog about this shit AGAIN. I just got finished producing the 3rd Annual Laugh Riot Grrrl Festival, which features over 100 female comedians each year in a week’s worth of shows and activities. I was feeling pretty good about the state of women in comedy (rare for me) and thinking we just smashed the Patriarchy, even if it were just a little. And then, I turn on my computer to see yet another dick dissing women in comedy, setting us back instead of propelling us forward- and this time that dick was a fellow female comic. I am angry, yes, but mostly I am disappointed. But, Iliza said this is her experience and we have to take that as gold. Well, here is my experience...

I started doing comedy in college at 19 years old in 1988 (a little longer than TEN WHOLE YEARS). As a elder in the comedy community (I am 49, been doing comedy for 29 years, teaching comedy for 13 years, wrote a critically acclaimed book about comedy, own a comedy school, was on the road for years on the East Coast and moved to LA 20 years ago, etc), I feel like it is my OBLIGATION not only to create as many opportunities for women in comedy as possible (in addition to my women’s comedy fest, I produce women-only open mics, feminist comedy shows, etc), but to elevate other women as often as I can ESPECIALLY IN PUBLIC INTERVIEWS. No, I am not rich or famous. Probably never will be. But, I have made my entire living off comedy most of my adult life and my experience matters, too.

Saying women shouldn’t be offended by her lazy answer in an interview if it doesn’t apply to them is like Trump saying Mexicans are rapists and black people are criminals but don’t be offended if you aren’t those things. Nice try. And women just need to get better?? Seriously? Do you know how tired you sound? How many racists have said, in response to being confronted on lack of diversity in their school, business, organization, ‘black people just need to earn it like the rest of us.’ Yeah, cause Obama was the first black man to ever be qualified to be President? Not even close.

Iliza, your experiences are a lot more limited than you realize. Ten years is nothing in comedy and you know that. It is a well-known adage in comedy that it takes 10 years just to find your voice. Getting to your level of success in 10 years thanks to Last Comic Standing (and yes, I and many female comics voted for you, and don’t regret it) is a fast track to the top, bypassing decades of work that other women have put in. Did you deserve that? Sure, why not? You deserve it as much as anyone. But, don’t pretend it didn’t come fast and relatively easy. Because of that, you haven’t worked in as many low level rooms as most of us, so your experience is limited mostly to comedy clubs. Comedy clubs rarely book women, even more rare to have two or more on a single show. All the years I was on the road, I was only in a comedy condo with another woman TWICE. The comedy clubs that do book women are not booking a representation of the best female comedy. Just like Justin Bieber being mega rich and famous is not a representation of the best in music. A more accurate comment would have been, ‘I walk into the Improv and they only book a few women and all the same kinds of female comics. Comedy clubs need more diversity.’

Iliza was right when she said that the “landscape of what’s available out there for women is not as extensive as it could be.” Therein lies the problem. But, you don’t begin by basing the state of female comedy on the “handful” of women you see around. For one thing, I know women who have been unbooked from shows with Iliza because her ‘people’ told them she doesn’t like to have too many women on a show (if those emails are false, she should take that up with her people). Also, most headliners, Iliza included (in my experience) don’t stay in the room and watch all the other comics. I am guilty of that, too. It’s easy to roll up in the club right before your set and leave the room right after. I mean, what comedian wants to watch every other comedian? But, that limits your ability to accurately report on the state of comedy. Because I produce so many events for female comics (and have to be in the room), I see hundreds of women perform yearly in open mics, standup shows, festivals, sketch groups, etc. By producing events like my yearly Women in Comedy Roundtable, I get to/choose to listen to women A LOT. Those women are trying to speak now, and we need to listen and really hear them.

Let’s also talk about smart comedy, low hanging fruit and using our comedy powers for good or evil. I have mutiple degrees, am extremely well-read and follow politics very closely. I don’t think I’m unusual. Most comics make it a point to have informed opinions. Iliza boasted that she’s the only female comic with a WWII joke. Well, she’s not. And, even if she were, what the fuck does that matter? I talk about politics, rape culture, feminism, homelessness, as well as marriage, kids, my Trump-supporting dad, and occasionally, will make a pussy reference if I goddamn feel like it. Men are never policed on their dirty joke subjects, on their ‘bad language’ so I will not be, either. All the hateful rape jokes men tell, and we are worried that a women said, ‘pussy,’ really?? And my pussy does not hang low, thank you very much.

Iilza, like every person you ever hear say women aren’t funny enough, is a victim of the Entertainment Industrial Complex. Art is not TV. If you see a limited number of women and those women all make similar jokes (all jokes that Iliza herself has made), you are not seeing a fair representation of women. You are seeing the ones that made it past the gatekeepers in one way or another. Perhaps they are funny, but perhaps they are also hot, don’t rock the boat, know their place or were in the right place at the right time and got lucky. I have always rocked the boat, never accepted their idea of my place and have never been hot. I do feel lucky because I make a living performing standup and writing jokes for other comics. And I can tell you that I am AMAZED by the state of female comedy. Absolutely flabbergasted at the depth and talent and wit of the incredible women I get to (because I make it a point to) work with weekly. Right after the festival, I was quoted as saying that the only way I was able to get through 14 shows in one week is because every women was not only hilarious, but SO DIFFERENT from each other. My husband, comedian Chris Oliver, said the same. We also book tons of men and, frankly, some of them run together in my mind. Sometimes I can’t remember who made which shitting my pants in traffic joke and which ones told which rape jokes. I mean, let’s face it, MOST COMEDY IS HORRIBLE. It is. It’s painful. But, a lot of those comics get better and wiser and more likeable. Some are given regular spots at the Comedy Store (by some, I mean men, of course) and have an opportunity to grow and reflect and change and improve.

Feminism is already “a thing,” and we are equal, no matter who acknowledges it. As feminists, we need to use our comedy powers for good, to help a sister out. Iliza mentioned hiring women on her show and as openers for her. That’s great. Honestly. It is. Does it make you Feminist of the Year? No. In that major public platform, Iliza was given a chance to be heard by more people than most comics, especially women, ever get. She did not widen the landscape for women, she relied on tired old easily-disproven stereotypes that will not elevate us a profession, but will serve to help keep us as second class citizens in comedy. That statement validated every person who thinks women aren’t funny enough. I mean a famous female comic said it, so it must be true.

There is nothing wrong with misspeaking. We all fuck up. But, after the shock and anger wears off, it’s time to take a real look at our own misconceptions and the role we play in the fight as a whole. And did anyone ever figure out what that “one point” about the vagina is?

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