just some guys being pirates being dudes :D

s2 is consuming my every waking thought 🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

heyy how do you think the relation between the twins and kamiki would be if ai never died and kamiki came to met them like a normal person? I mean we are unsure how kamiki feels about twins but how would twins feel about kamiki if everything was normal? Also how ai would be during the whole scenario? I always love to hear your thoughts on random ass things that come in my brain lol

Honestly speculating anything about Kamiki rn is So Fraught because we had that whole "sorry you thought i was /srs when rly i was /jk" reveal with the mangakas BUT for the purposes of this ask and because it's more fun that way, I'm gonna just assume the teen Hikaru we see in 15YL is like… mostly close enough to some kind of reality.

I think the twins would start off kind of hostile towards Hikaru, in a sort of quasi protective way. Like omg, we have to protect Ai from this sleezeball guy!!! totally ignoring the actual reality of the dynamic between them… I think Aqua would have a lot of trouble taking him remotely seriously as a father figure just because of Hikaru's age compared to Gorou's but I do also think that because baby Aqua has so much more of Gorou's influence in his brain, he would start to pick up pretty quick that like… uh, is this kid alright??? hello??? & eventually come to feel a similar sense of responsibility for him as he does for Ai and Ruby.

As for Ruby, she's definitely way more hostile for a lot longer and goes out of her way to commit Baby Crimes in an effort to just make his life miserable and drive him away. But he gradually wins her over just by being patient with her and tbh I think Ruby would be similarly weak to someone being A Dad for her as she was for Ai being her mom given just how completely she was abandoned by her parents and she ends up accepting him in a tsundere sort of way.

As for Ai… I think she has some surprisingly complicated emotions about it!

While she reaches out to him for the good of the kids, I think Ai would actually have some fears of the twins preferring Hikaru to her or Hikaru's presence somehow otherwise upsetting the dynamic of her relationship with the twins. But then of course, she feels guilty for having those feelings and ends up negatively comparing herself to her mom, who she absolutely does not want to be like, and bottles them all up which means it just gets worse and worse and worse… <3 avoidant little idiot

I think she would eventually have a heart to heart with maybe Saitou and Miyako about it who help her to have a sort of of come to jesus moment about how even if the kids DO end up loving Hikaru, Ai is always going to be their one and only mom and nobody can ever really replace her. I think it would take her a lot of time to feel properly secure just because her history of abandonment by people who are supposed to love her is so gutwrenchingly consistent but she does eventually come around.

I think they'd be a pretty cute family unit! I don't think Ai and Hikaru would ever get back together romantically in this setup but the idea of them being a platonic co-parenting team is really good…

ur thoughts on Tom’s attraction to men?

Ohhh boy. Well. Before we can even get to things like internalized homophobia and the idealization of the “traditional” family unit and the Tom’s lifelong ambition in a highly conservative environment necessitating a certain self-image that excludes homosexuality, we have to talk about how Tom understands masculinity and, by extension, platonic interactions and relationships between men.

(I'm answering both of these anons together because they do go hand-in-hand - you can't talk about Tom's attraction to men without talking about his feelings towards Greg).

Tom’s understanding of masculinity is very much shaped by the Waystar approach to masculinity (which is representative of a wider cultural opinion, for sure, but then we start to get into certain nuances that are beside the point, so I’m just going to refer to it as the Waystar approach for now), and that understanding focuses largely on the concept of dominance. You can't really have two equal men in any kind of relationship (friendly, platonic, antagonistic - anything); one has some kind of dominance over the other, and both (if they're masculine men) are constantly seeking to gain an edge over the other.

And this extends to how they understand love and sex as well. Women are excluded from this dominance framework, with the exception of a few women who, by virtue of their competence and their ruthlessness, are really just considered to be men (eg Gerri and Cyd - and notice how both of them have names that sound masculine?). But sex still plays into it; having a lot of casual sex and seeking their own pleasure is one way men can display dominance, and they can humiliate other men by using sexually violent language towards them. Intimacy and vulnerability are exclusive to the realm of heterosexual romantic relationships, and even that has limits - take Logan himself, who allows Marcia to witness his physical vulnerability while hiding it from everyone else, but displays very little emotional intimacy with her.

One of the immediate consequences of this attitude is that genuine friendship between men cannot exist. Every 'friendship' in the show is marked by these interpersonal dynamics, which make the kind of trust and intimacy true friendships are built on impossible. And if friendship cannot exist, then romantic or sexual attraction absolutely cannot exist, except possibly as another expression of dominance (and even that would be questionable, because by expressing attraction to another person you are giving them a degree of power over you).

So do I think Tom is attracted to men? Probably. In terms of 'what do the showrunners intend', there are a few different directions they could take canon that are plausible to me - and if they chose not to acknowledge any attraction to men on Tom's part, I wouldn't necessarily consider that to be misguided or poor writing. That's mainly because I don't think Tom understands himself as being attracted to men. And how could he? He's not allowed to be, and I'm not just talking about homophobia but that entire framework of how men are supposed to relate to each other. He's 40 years old and probably worked at Waystar for 15-20 years, which means he's internalized this enough that he's viewing all of his interactions with men through this lens without consciously realizing that's what he's doing.

This is complicated even more by the fact that for Tom, physical attraction and sex are largely indivisible from emotional attraction. Tom is not someone who enjoys casual sex; I would argue that not only does he need an emotional connection, but that the emotional connection is the origin of his attraction to someone. But in a world where emotional intimacy is taboo, that attraction becomes deeply fraught. And again, Tom himself has internalized this framework; he's bought into the idea that men should want casual sex, that attraction for men should be mostly physical, and that emotional vulnerability belongs only in the sphere of heterosexual marriage. He gets a blowjob from Tabitha and goes "Threesomes, that's the dream" because that's how he thinks he should feel, and the fact that he doesn't actually feel that way means there's something wrong with him. Already the way he experiences attraction is profoundly wrong and unmasculine even before we start bringing men into it.

I know it's fun to look at the "Would you kiss me? If I asked you to? If I told you to?" scene as a declaration of repressed attraction, but... Tom has just met Greg, some kid off the street who technically is a blood Roy but whose place in the overall Roy hierarchy has yet to be established. Tom is currently at the bottom of the totem pole, and he knows that being able to place Greg under him in that hierarchy will increase his standing. "Would you kiss me?" is not an expression of attraction, it's an attempt to utilize the same sexually dominating language we see Kendall using with Lawrence Yee and Logan using with Kendall in this same episode. But it comes out horribly wrong; instead of dominating and violent, it sounds homoerotic. It unsettles Greg, for sure, but not for the reasons Tom wanted it to.

And I think that's the foundation of their relationship. Greg is the first person in the show that Tom is truly able to dominate in some way, and Tom is also a person who is absolutely starved for emotional intimacy. So it makes sense that once Tom is confident that Greg is under his thumb - which happens pretty quickly since no one else gives a shit about him - of course, Greg is going to become the outlet for Tom's complex emotions around and desires for intimacy. Of course, Tom's expressions of dominance towards Greg are going to become increasingly homoerotic. Of course, Tom's feelings towards Greg are going to start to move more and more into the realm of attraction the longer he knows Greg and the more he develops the emotional intimacy with him that he isn't allowed to develop with anyone else. And of course, when Tom finally does start to express that attraction it has to be violent. He can't just marry him but he has to castrate him too because there might be an attraction but they're also both men, and the dominance framework is inescapable.

And, of course, I don't think Tom understands his attraction to Greg as attraction proper. I think because he's not attracted to Greg in the same way he's attracted to women, he would classify his attraction to women as Attraction proper, and his attraction to Greg as something else. I don't think starting a relationship with Greg would make him realize he's attracted to men; at least as long as they're both at Waystar and in that sphere I think he'd classify it as some kind of exception that proves the rule.

Finally, I would be remiss not to mention that yet another complicating factor is that Tom is a man who's definitely idealized the "traditional" nuclear heterosexual family ideal for a very, very long time, and who considers it part and parcel with all of his other ambitions. A long-term committed relationship with another man does not fit into that image. Even if he did get to a point where he could acknowledge his attraction to men, he's going to be deeply reluctant to commit to anything real until he lets go of that ideal - which he's unlikely to do while he's at Waystar, surrounded by other people who are also committed to that ideal. And even after he leaves, he might not, if only because this is an ideal that likely pre-dates his time at Waystar, and goes all the way back to his childhood, probably, and the fact that he is attracted to women means it's not something he ever really has to give up on or re-evaluate in the same way he would if he was exclusively attracted to men.

If Tom and Greg left Waystar together, would they be able to have a healthy and functional relationship? Maybe, but it would involve deliberately unravelling a whole lot of Tom's very deeply ingrained beliefs and attitudes. If neither of them had ever gone to Waystar and met in an entirely different context? Who knows. Probably, but Tom in particular would be an entirely different person if he hadn't spent his entire professional life at Waystar. It's very fun to write the fanfic and explore the infinite possibilities out there (and btw I'm absolutely not trying to knock any of the really fabulous tomgreg aus and post-S3 tomgreg fics out there), but in terms of what we see in canon - Tom, as a character who exists in Succession, is so formed by that environment that any version of him that didn’t come up at Waystar is a fundamentally different character.

(Greg, on the other hand, has not been formed enough by Waystar to have that same kind of deeply ingrained character development. He's been shaped by it, but I think he's still elastic enough that if you remove him from the environment he'll reshape and adapt into something else. Which is why I think if a post-S3 tomgreg relationship fell apart it would be largely Tom's fault, not Greg's.)

Again I’m here with my vaguely anti griddlehark agenda (I’m so so sorry). Just wanted to vent that even though I really really enjoy Harrows aus and Harrow herself I feel like there is no point in all of that unless it is addressed that Harrow actually treated Gideon horribly?.. because I remember Harrow from the beginning and I knew that there is going to be romance but it FEELS to me that Gideon herself while being very much into acts of servitude and into Harrow it might also be the only way she knows to show love. And like them being together and speaking that horrible language of love that is half abuse half (indentured) servitude… I really don’t want that ending…. Sorry sorry it’s just that I’ve read too much posts praising Harrow as this incredibly romantic person and too much posts saying that everyone else is evil (namely Ianthe) in one week and I’m having my “have we read the same books? Per chance I am actually an alien? Where am I should I go?” moments

I think both these things are true! Harrow IS extremely romantic, imo AND she also canonically treated Gideon horribly. These are both fundamental parts of the Gideon/Harrow dynamic.

I'm not sure if canon will address their past explicitly beyond what already happened in GtN; I think it's pretty obvious from everything in Harrow's characterisation that she is very aware of how much she wronged Gideon, and it weights on her — I think that Harrow’s lobotomy was less about her being in love with Gideon and more about feeling keenly that Gideon didn’t deserve to die for Harrow after everything Harrow / the Ninth had already taken from her. In the same vein, I think that Gideon's anger at Harrow's "rejection" is less about her feelings for Harrow and more about eighteen years of anger and mounting resentment culminating into "AND, on top of everything ELSE, you even spat on my sacrifice."

I think their reunion will be very emotional and there will be Feelings but also I think they're going to end up fighting. I'm not sure if the reasons behind their fraught dynamic are ever going to be aired out but they are very much There and obviously inform how TM writes the characters and their dynamic.

I'm a lot less sure about "Gideon's love language being acts of service is BAD" for a variety of reasons - I don't think we have seen enough of Gideon/Harrow in a romantic context to even safely say that, anyway, and Harrow also has a bit of a ~religious penitent streak that may come to the surface, just saying :) also I don't think their horrible beginnings necessarily mean that they're scarred for life and need to avoid any power unbalances forever and ever.

Also. I think Tazmuir's kinks are all over TLT and she's writing loyalty kink and acts of devotion because she finds it hot, so I doubt the series is going to end on a treatise about how it's actually only about trauma. These characters aren't ever ever going to get therapy! (which personally is why I'm a bigger fan of canon griddlehark over most AUs; I like the bit of fucked up)

Anyway they WILL have a big melodramatic fight in AtN. I'm manifesting it :)

Me, My Husband & My Husband's Boyfriend Eps 1 -5 Stray Thoughts

This is an unusual release schedule, giving us five episodes now and five more later. Still, I'm curious what TV Tokyo does with this, since they also gave me What Did You Eat Yesterday?

Episode 1

Man, Japan just really knows how to start a show. You can feel the strained optimism of this poor woman in just 30 seconds.

This has barely started and I feel claustrophobic. Misaki's friends have no idea how unhappy she is, and what is this incredibly pained look she shared only with Maki?

Oh, they may have been in lesbians with each other. This is already fraught queer angst.

Ah, it feels like it might have been just Maki.

You know someone is up to something when they fake sleep when their partner comes into the room.

That's right, girl. Blog your problems.

I tell you, I hoped I would avoid teen pregnancy when I was a teacher. I was wrong.

Poor Masaki. She and Yuki are just not in alignment when it comes to intimacy. Now she only has one day a year to look forward to for marital sex??

Nice use of Dutch angles when Masaki sees the kiss.

Episode 2

My goodness, this was an intense opening scene in how Misaki immediately starts to try to suppress everything and bargain her way into an explanation that doesn't spell the end of her marriage. Yuki doesn't lie, but he's already hurt her deeply.

I hope that's not the product placement we're throwing away.

I'm so sad about this nice dinner going to waste.

I agree with Misaki that what happens next with their relationship should be her choice, considering he's been making lots of choices without her for a while.

The coworker seems kind. She can tell that Misaki is masking.

Yo this old dude shoulder checked the fuck out of her.

I was not expecting to see Honda Kyoya again so soon after Jack o' Frost, but I'm not going to complain. However, if Shyuuhei is an artist like Ritsu was, this offers up a fascinating lens into a potentially alternative story.

It is correct of Misaki to put distance between a student who expresses romantic interest in her.

This is a lot. I feel for Misaki. Not only does she need to reckon with the fact that her husband is gay and seeing someone else. She also has to contend with it being her former student who still wants to be with her, who knows that he's been hooking up with her husband.

The transitional shot after Misaki's hyperventilating looks like it might be in the same spot as the intro for Midnight Diner.

Through sheer confidence and will alone, Shyuuhei is going to get both of them.

Misaki leaving to probably go to Maki is valid, though I feel bad for Maki, too.

Episode 3

I already like Daichi and the house dynamic Maki and he share.

I was kinda excited about what changing homes might do for Misaki, but I appreciate her wanting to clear things with Yuki first.

I wonder if Yuki might be aro-ace spectrum. Seems like he wasn't aware of his potential attraction to men before he married Misaki?

Honda Kyoya is honestly so pretty.

Look at this, TV Tokyo has me watching a man and woman kiss and such in BL when I got none of this in What Did You Eat Yesterday? They're even open mouth kissing when the men haven't done so! I'm salty!

And here I was hoping that it really was just a pregnancy scare. Now Satou hasn't been coming to school.

I'm gonna need Masaki to go out with this veteran teacher.

What is the truth with Satou!

Shyuuhei is with Satou, too? And he went in her raw? She said he was only a year older, so is he 19? GODDAMN

Someone is always spying and taking goddamn pictures! You just gonna anonymously meddle? Own your actions!

Episode 4

Trigger warnings: Discussion and prevention of suicide in this episode.

This is so messy. Shyuuhei has such a hold over Yuki, who doesn't desire his wife physically at all.

Daichi's family's apples are enormous.

What is she to do with all these apples?

Oh, Yuki, I really just can't with the continued lies. Something has to give.

Is the spy the other teacher who wanted to get a beer?

Well, Shyuuhei is way out of line, but he's not wrong about Misaki's marriage.

Ah, the spy was the other teacher, whose name is Misumi. At least she's confronting him with her qualms.

Interposing the conversation with Misumi and the interview with a woman talking about her gay husband's death makes the point loud and clear.

I think Honda Kyoya is well-cast here. He has an ethereal quality that I think works really well for Shyuuhei.

Wanting to disappear is a question I get on mental health surveys, and Shyuuhei seems way too comfortable talking about suicide.

Episode 5

Trigger warnings: Discussion and prevention of suicide in this episode.

I'm really glad we saw Honda Kyoya in Jack o' Frost first. I find myself wanting to dig into this performance just as much as I want to understand the character. Polyamory is hard; I don't think I'm built for it. I like how sympathetic they're making Shyuuhei feel through his earnestness, even if he's giving me red flags in so many other areas.

This scene of the first meet between Yuki and Shyuuhei is making me sad, because I don't think we've seen Yuki be this intent on Misaki.

Okay, taking them to a place to disconnect briefly is much better than where I thought this was going.

Misaki suggesting they all live together was an excellent scene. The way the camera pans through her dialogue from her being alone, to her and Yuki, to her and Shyuuhei, to finally all three of them works so beautifully. Then having her be nervous and struggling to crack an egg perfectly underscores her uncertainty.

I love Misaki. I'm glad we're letting her uncomfortable feelings come through clearly. This isn't the life she thought she was getting, but she's trying to make the best of a difficult situation.

Furukawa Yuki is so good. I remember again why Restart After Coming Back Home sticks with me as we see the range he's shown this episode.

I like the ground rules Misaki established. They don't realistically expect Shyuuhei to help with expenses now, but she wants to make sure he's contributing to the maintenance tasks and is at least working in his field.

Hotta Akane is also doing a great job. She completely performed the complex nervousness, relief, and bemusement she felt at seeing Yuki clearly relaxed in the house again for the first time in a while, and also the strange sense of attraction she felt at Shyuuhei expressing his feelings to her again.

Final Thoughts at the Midpoint

I think it was an excellent call to release this show in two batches. It's covering some complex emotional places that I don't think the audience would be able to take in stride each week for two months. Giving us the chance to go through this at our own pace and trying to connect with the characters feels like the right call.

I'm looking forward to the back half of this, and I find myself hoping that however they all end up, they all find what they need for their own sense of fulfillment.

Can you elaborate on how you envision Zeus/Hera and Achilles/Patroclus' dynamics? I'm really interested in a new take!

I guess for Zeus and Hera what I imagined is that they do love each other but their relationship is fraught because of their individual character flaws and respective hangups/trauma. Zeus is a very charming and charismatic guy but he has a tendency to keep people at arm's length in an emotional level. He's also caught up in his own ideas of masculinity and paternalism that is bleeding into how he treats women in general. Hera drives him nuts, both in a way that he likes and doesn't like. Despite this, he will still protect her just as he did against his father all those years ago.

For Hera, her killing his mistresses serves two purposes. One, it is because of the obvious jealousy thing. For context, Zeus grows up with his siblings in this story for a bit until he was a very young child-- being closest to Hera. Chronus later eats his siblings one by one and Zeus is forced to be separated from his family and fulfill the prophecy. He promises Hera that he will return for her and he did. So Hera still loves Zeus for being that person who came back for her. But at the same time she is also hurt by his actions and often gets angry at him. (It's like a rollercoaster of emotions) The second reason is for political reasons, Hera doesn't want the line of succession for her first born son Ares to be complicated by the many bastards that Zeus has sired. It undermines her position as Queen and (in her mind) puts the lives of her children at risk of assassination.

Their relationship is very complicated haha.

(Concept for a young Zeus)

2. For Patrochilles, I'm still in the process of researching for them and compiling sources so this will be subjected to change and will not reflect what is shown in the final product (which is the Lex Talionis arc of The God Cycle).

For now, my idea of their relationship is that they are childhood best friends who grew up to have a romantic relationship. Achilles was raised amongst women for most his childhood and so Patroclus and the other boys with them will be his first look into masculinity is all about. It doesn't help that he looks quite feminine himself and has a tendency to become emotionally unstable that Achilles feels like he has something to prove in that area.

Achilles has had his mother indulge many of his whims, out of love on her part, but it also created a superiority inferiority complex in him where he desperately wants to be acknowledged outside of the sphere of his King father and his goddess mother.

Patroclus is the more level headed of the two, he is often the one who mediates between other people and Achilles's difficult personality. But at the same time he enables it and doesn't challenge Achilles in any meaningful way. There are instances where Patroclus will beat around the bush with Achilles to get him to cooperate in situations where he doesn't want to (most notably re: Agamemnon), whether you count this to be a form of manipulation on his part is up to you.

The crux of their relationship is learning to work around each other, so I wouldn't say they get along 100%. But they still trust each other with their lives, and having Patroclus to die proves to be a huge blow to Achilles and his wellbeing up to the moment of his death where he just Loses It-- becoming an unwitting pawn of Athena in the process and discarded like a tool.

Thank you for the ask.

finished romantic killer on netflix. really enjoyed it and i like how it handled issues of stalking and boundaries in relationships. i think romance as a genre is great to satirize not just because of the comedic potential but for its ability to comment about the genre and our relationship with it and to a larger extent, romantic dynamics as a whole.

usually im not a fan of work that is so self-aware and self-referential it borders on navel gazing or work that claims to subvert the weaknesses of its genre but doesn't really commit to it substantially. however i think this show (nearly) sidesteps that by being very earnest and sincere in portraying its relationships.

and i say nearly because my one criticism centers around anzu, who i think is such a relatable and enjoyable mc. however, as self-aware as the show is, it falls into the same trap of many in the romance genre by using anzu strictly as an audience conduit rather than a complex character that can exist outside of her relationships. what i mean by this is that we learn a lot about anzu but we don't really end up truly knowing her by the end of the season.

we learn about her otaku interests and that she's disinterested in a romantic relationship. we learn about her protective streak over her friends and her oddball and competitive tendencies. we learn she is clever and has a very strong will and integrity. however, the show never delves further than that. why is anzu so averse to romance in real life and opts for fictional characters instead? is she on the aro spectrum? if not, is her aversion rooted in something else? we learn what is essentially a checklist but nothing more than that.

i'm not saying the show has to necessarily answer these questions directly (or even at all) but i point this out as examples because we don't really get a glimpse into anzu's true inner world. we see tsukasa's source of trauma and we even see her best friend, saki (a minor character), in a similar fraught and vulnerable moment. we see that junta grew from his insecurity through baseball and that he still struggles with his inability to confess to anzu. anzu doesn't have to have a dark past or a crippling insecurity to be compelling but anzu remains functionally the same from the first episode to the last (like even her child self is indistinguishable from the anzu in the last episode)

and that is the root of the issue: anzu doesn't really have any flaws. the plot is always on her side. any "flaws" she might have is that she is judgmental once (ie when she judged tsukasa for being "cold") but this never really becomes a true conflict between them and it's never used as a point of growth because she's normally not judgmental in the first place with how gracious she can be even with people she disagrees with (like ryuya). another is that she's out of touch with societal expectations (eg her clothing and her interests) but these are all ultimately in service of her likability to us (and her love interests) and if anything, it ingratiates her more with her relationships by portraying how "real" she is (*waves airily* unlike all those other romance heroines). her flaws never engender anything with teeth and she never truly loses anything real or struggles in a way that brings character change. the things that happen to her do bring conflict but they're either inconveniences at best or they're used to explore other characters as she's used by the plot as a device for the others to react and self-actualize.

her only change in the end is purely external: she has a more extensive group of close friends now. and this would be a good resolution if this was something she actively desired but struggled with in the beginning. she's a little more open to a romantic relationship but we could make an argument that that was just purely to force the wizards' hand in letting riri go. she remains adamant in staying romance-averse.

so if (1) we don't see the reasons for why she is the way she is and (2) we don't really see her tested and internally changed in some way, anzu basically receives the same flat treatment as many romance heroines do in the sense that she's no more fully realized than they are. and that's a shame! because anzu is very easy to root for and i enjoy her humor and displays of strength but there's a huge gap between likability and being three-dimensional as a character.

this would be a non-issue if she was part of the supporting cast but anzu's our main protagonist. why do we get a truer insight to her best friend than her? is the show really subverting the genre as much as it thinks it is?

and none of this is meant to detract from how thoughtful and feminist i do find this show to be mainly in its portrayal of female-female relationships and its handling of (particularly male) victims of boundary transgressions. one of its biggest strength is that as absurd as it can get, it's very grounded overall. the two male leads in the love triangle are very honest and respectful of the other. everyone talks to each other like actual friends. and i'm all for melodrama like anyone who's a fan of this genre but sometimes seeing a conflict that's handled maturely can be very refreshing and needed.

anyway long and short of it is that i do recommend it. my criticisms aren't meant to bash anzu but rather highlight the ways in which this show might be actively limiting itself in its function of parody and subversion. none of this is meant to paint the series as "bad" but rather "incomplete" because i know this show could do more

What’s your favorite comics era/universe to write in??

I feel like this is a really obvious answer from me but I really love writing 616 Avengers v3. This is pretty much the first time Steve and Tony were both on the main team after Steve learned Tony was Iron Man -- technically there were also a few months in there in the early 80s right after Molecule Man but that's a little fraught because then Tony starts drinking and then they're not on the same team for 15 years. So if you want a setup with no identity porn, where they've been friends for a while, where they haven't really done anything all that bad to each other, and they live in the mansion, the only time that happens in v3, because that's the last time they all lived in the mansion other than for like five minutes before No Surrender happened.

Obviously later settings have their virtues if you want to write about them after all the Bad Things have happened, but when I just want to write something fluffy where the time frame doesn't really matter and I don't want to explain how they feel about, say, Civil War, v3 is my go to. Either that or the end of v4, but then you occasionally have to explain their Civil War feelings.

Something like Marvel Adventures: Avengers can get you a similar fluffy dynamic but then you don't have all their 616 history to draw on so I usually don't do MA:A unless I want something that's really about a lot of lighthearted team interaction.

Having said that, I'm (still) working on a post-AXE Judgment Day story (so, set now, basically) and it's kind of refreshing to not have to remember what things have or haven't happened yet because everything is on the table! It can be a story where their romantic history includes things like how Superior Tony was sleeping with men and Steve found out Tony was queer from his dating profile! It in fact actually is that kind of story.

HELLO HI YOUR LONDON SIDE DLC POSTS HAVE ME DYING I NEED TO HEAR YOUR VANLOCK THOUGHTS BEFORE THESE LOSER DIVORCEES FUCKING KILL ME

YOU WROTE THE VANLOCK DANCE OF DEDUCTION THING OH MY GOD A VANLOCK ICON HAS VISITED MY HUMBLE CHAMBERS

words cannot express how much i love vanlock like i got into it for the exes energy at first in dgs 1 and then it all spiralled from there and i started reading fanfiction (there's this one really good author i absolutely adore) bro dude i was there when there were 36 vanlock fics on ao3 and 18 of them were in chinese i have remained devoted and i will continue to remain devoted to these gayasses

most of my thoughts ive already posted about them, some of them i plan to make into fics once school stops kicking my ass with a vengeance and im writing one right now but lemme try to highlight everything i like about their dynamic uhhhh

there is so much potential post-dgs2 for their dynamic because found family and [cOUGHs in dgs2 spoilers] and literally how are they NOT gonna have to be in contact 24/7 they are going to be married in 10 years if iris has anything to say about it.

we dont know ANYTHING about their history even though they clearly have a history which is just a green flag for headcanons to go wild, i mean im already deadset on the idea that both of them at least minored in theater with how fuckin flamboyant they are so van zieks majored in law while herlock majored in either chemistry, engineering, or the art of driving everyone insane. or everything idk

they must have done a stage kiss at least once that was extremely fraught with actual romantic/sexual tension that everyone but them noticed and was extremely awkward about. benjamin/albert happens to be with van zieks when they both see herlock in the present and albert is like "oh hey i remember him you guys did that really awkward stage k-" and van zieks is like "please stop talking"

i said this in another post but it is so unclear what their relationship is that you could assign so many things to it. exes, divorcees, one night stand, several night stands, coworkers with benefits, secretly married, what are you i could write so much fanfiction about you there are so many potential complex emotions and conflicted feelings and regret and i live for that shit

I NEED BAROK TO WALTZ WITH HERLOCK IN A DANCE OF DEDUCTION PLEASE GOD

i'm pretty sure herlock DOES trust van zieks to some extent and my memory is fuzzy but i don't think he's ever really indicated that he actually thought van zieks was The Reaper despite calling him shinigami-kun/reapy/mr. reaper and such?? correct me if im wrong but he seems to subtly guide ryuu into realizing that barok is not in fact a murderer

the london dlc case literally has me reeling like sholmes used his very questionable connections to find out van zieks' birthday and then both he and iris snuck into his office to do nice things for him what the fuck like this was a family project?? they straight up adopted him and he didnt notice

i read this one addition to my post where someone talked about how barok and sholmes are a lot nicer to each other in private and sholmes says "barok" instead of reapy and i havent seen much of 2-5 but i dont even care if it's true or not im making it canon in my head im so down bad for the enemies in public softer in private dynamic like shizaya or dabihawks

the way the public actively avoids both of them, one of them because he's annoying and the other because he's supposedly a murderer is good flavor i enjoy that and i enjoy people gawking at them being in public together interacting normally i read this one fic where barok was used to observing the thirteen foot distance between him and the crowd and then herlock joined him and he was like oh. it's fourteen feet now ahskdGSDGSHKkjhdsjh

gina iris and the apprentice teasing/exposing barok for his crush on herlock is also very fun, and vice versa

them being like "my masked apprentice is better" "no ryuunosuke is better"while said apprentices are making out

they qualify for my "teachers that have tried to kill each other at least once and are also probably married and students have no idea what their relationship is" au that i lovingly bestow on all my older people ships

there's probably more but i have to get back to work ahjdkGHJSJ anyway vanlock supremacy

I know no one knows what Schulner has planned for our girls but what would be a satisfying reconciliation from your perspective? Do you see Leyla making the move or Lauren. Sorry if you've had a similar question before. The fact that Shiva was on set is a good sigh even though I am extremely cautiously optimistic.

First of all, shiva being on set for 5x01 already is a very positive sign and i (maybe foolishly) will keep holding onto that. I'm 99.99999% certain the first move to reignite their relationship will fall in leyla's court again. Lauren has shown that she's way too aware of the imbalance in their situation and how much she's respects leyla's circumstances to be the one to initiate a romantic move. That being said I'm still fingers crossed hoping for some delicious tension and yearning like we got in 4x21 because they're the loves of each others' lives and they damn well know it.

As you know, I don't speculate much about how the show can play out because these writers are too unpredictable at times. But all that being said, I think the thing I'd really like to see for their reconciliation is that it's a season long process rather than hinging on a big moment in the series finale. By that I mean I'd love to see them continuing growing together and work with one another in the ED to rediscover their balance as friends and colleagues. Basically all of 4b has been this fraught non stop emotional wringer and while it was necessary to air out the wounds between them from the donation situation, I can't take another 13 episodes of it. Let them get back to the dynamic they were finding their footing in in 4a, the glimpse we saw again in 4x21. Let them continue to challenge one another to do and be better and be soft and supportive. Let them continue showing each other in small and meaningful ways why they were always meant to grow together so that when we get that reunion in the end it feels like coming home rather than the bitter relief of a long slog of a journey.

Voyager rewatch: season 1 recap

Overall impressions of Season 1 after my first chronological rewatch:

This first season was consistently strong. I see why I fell in love with the show right away, and why I was already invested enough with the characters to stick with them for seven whole years, through all the ups and downs. The premise is great, the characters are all well delineated, with fantastic actors bringing them to life. I would actually argue that Voyager came out of the gate stronger than the other two 90s Trek series. It had it's format and identity fully figured out from the get-go, whereas TNG and DS9 both took a season or two to figure themselves out and get in a groove. Some of the characters individually still needed some time to percolate and settle into more steady characterization, but on the whole, the relationships and dynamics were already forming, and becoming a joy to watch.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that far fewer characters got killed off in this first season than I thought. Losing crew members they couldn't replace, yet still being able to run the ship, has always been one of my pet peeves in Voyager, so I'm going to keep a running tally as I go through the series to find out how many there actually were.

There were also more romantic subplots than remember in the first season. I'm going to be keeping a running tally of those too.

One of the things that surprised me on this rewatch was the friendship they started building between B'Elanna and Harry, which was sweet and lovely, and made so much sense, but then was abandoned entirely later on, which is a shame. Garrett Wang said on The Delta Flyers podcast how he thought back then that they were setting up Harry and B'Elanna to be a couple, and while I thought that was wild at first, I do see it now, and think it would have made sense. I wouldn't necessarily have preferred that, but I definitely would have liked their friendship at least to have been developed further, and maybe a romance would have worked if they had done. It's certainly an interesting path not taken to contemplate!

A weird thing I noticed was how much glaringly racist and misogynist dialog made it's way on screen this first season, like, way more than there was in TNG or DS9. I have no idea why anyone thought it was a good idea, and it definitely hindered Tom and Neelix's character development, as well as Kes's, indirectly.

The whole concept of Neelix and Kes as a couple is pretty questionable from the perspective of a few decades later. I had no idea back then how much of an age gap there was between the actors playing them; when you're 7 years old, everyone over 16 is an adult to you, but looking back now, and finding out that Jennifer Lien was only 18 when they started, whereas Ethan Phillips was in his mid-40s, I'm very bothered by the power imbalance that age gap creates. (I'm referring to the characters specifically, I've never heard anything negative about Ethan Phillips as an actor.) That already large gulf in age and experience is further exasperated by Neelix being a worldly space nomad, while Kes comes from a sheltered existence in a society with no knowledge of the outside world, who only live for nine years, yet, somehow, Kes is still presented as an adult based on her physical and cognitive development, despite being canonically under two years old chronologically. Having someone who was almost literally born yesterday in a romantic relationship with someone who also is, for all intents and purposes, her teacher, is a really fraught situation, all the more so for Kes having run away from home and being almost entirely dependent on Neelix, with no one from her family or culture there to support her. That aspect, at least, is somewhat mitigated when they join the Voyager crew, since Kes now has a ship full of people to learn from and depend on, but Neelix's position as her knight in shining armor figure who rescued her still gives him a lot of influence over her. Couple that with Neelix constantly either infantilizing her or unleashing jealous tirades on her, and it's a really uncomfortable thing to watch. It severely undercuts Neelix's likability, which he would otherwise have in the bag as one of the show's main comic relief characters. Kes, too, comes out being slightly one dimemsional when half of her screentime is devoted to having to be the perfect girlfriend who tolerates and soothes all of Neelix's moods, even though her developing skills as a medic is the more interesting storyline. Her friendship with the Doctor is also more interesting, since he at least recognizes and encourages her talents, but even here, most of her storylines with him revolve around being his cheerleader in his quest for more autonomy. It's deeply frustrating to see such old fashioned gender dynamics at play in a show that was supposed to be a progressive vision for the future. Despite having three female characters in the main cast, I don't think the three of them ever had a scene together outside the conference room, and I don't think Kes and B'Elanna ever spoke to each other at all this season beyond one brief exchange in sickbay in the season's last episode.

The writers were obviously struggling to figure out Tom Paris after having to switch him out for the Nicholas Locarno character they'd originally intended him to be, so we end up getting two versions of Tom Paris this first season. The original Locarno version is an asshole who says truly shitty things, presumably in an attempt to make him a bad boy who would shake up Starfleet's usual niceness, and eventually have a redeeming character arc. But with the tweaks made to the character's backstory in order to distinguish him from Locarno for copyright purposes, we actually get a much more sympathetic, kinder character who's desperately looking for redemption from the start, and has the Starfleet niceness baked into him as part of his upbringing. Listening to Robbie McNeill on the Delta Flyers podcast, he says outright that he didn't like playing the asshole version because he thought viewers wouldn't sympathize or care about a character who was a jerk every single week, and he was right. Unfortunately, it took the writers a while to see the light and lean into the latter version of Tom at last, and I think to this day, it's tainted Tom's reputation as a character. The casual fans who saw any of these early episodes and didn't tune in religiously every week to see his character develop probably continued to think of him as the gross dudebro we get in some of these early eps. Which is a shame, since he actually becomes one of my favorite Voyager characters by the end.

Some things that I was suprised to find started all the way back in the first season was Seska's betrayal and defection to the enemy arc; and that Tom being made a medic started all the way back in the second episode. I thought it must have been later on, after they lost more crew, because there's no way there wouldn't be another crew member with more medical training than him, but no. They really put a guy who has an essential, full time job, that he's good at, and gave him another one he's barely qualified for on top of it, just because. Ok then, I guess. That's just so random. Maybe they had plans to put him and Kes together already, but that seems unlikely, given how Kes's whole character was invented to be Neelix's girlfriend. (I read somewhere that Kes isn't even mentioned in the Voyager show bible except within Neelix's entry. Siiiigh.)

There was also a lot less of the Kazon and Vidians this season than I thought, which was nice, since I don't like either of them as antagonists, but that just means that all the episodes with them I disliked are still ahead, ugh. (In all honesty, I pretty much dislike all of the recurring villains on Voyager, but I'll go into that when each of those arcs come up.)

Overall, I've been having a lot of fun, and rediscovering a lot of stuff I'd forgotten. I'm excited for season two!

Season 1 stats:

number of crew killed off: 6

Caretaker: at least 5 confirmed (first officer, chief engineer, chief medical officer, nurse, pilot) with more implied

Faces: 1 (Lieutenant Pete Durst)

number of romantic subplots:

Paris: 1 with kiss (Ex Post Facto)

Janeway: 1 without kiss (Prime Factors)

Kim: 1 without kiss (Prime Factors)

Chakotay: 1 without kiss (State of Flux) [at least I don't think there was a kiss, maybe there was?? I didn't decide to keep track till after this ep, so wasn't paying enough attention]

The Doctor: 1 with kiss (Heroes and Demons)

Number of episodes I liked/disliked/mixed reaction:

Liked: 10

Disliked: 3

Mixed: 2

I finished Silent Reading!!

Overall I'd say that I liked and had fun with it despite my criticisns, but it has some pretty noticeable problems. This is the second priest novel I've read after Tai Sui, and I knew it wasn't going to live up to my utter adoration of TS, but I'd still say that Mo Du was pretty notably not as good. It's a fun novel! But it's good rather than amazing.

On the positive side, I really enjoyed Luo Wenzhou and Fei Du's whole dynamic. It wasn't the most romantic romance I've read, and I could nitpick how I feel about their end state, but they're always a ton of fun to watch going back and forth. I especially enjoyed their book 3 "flirty game of chicken" era, as well as their more fraught confrontations in book 4. "I’d really love nothing better than to dig out your evil heart and rotten lungs and have a look" remains one of the most brilliantly insanity-inducing lines of dialogue that I have ever read.

Lang Qiao, Tao Ran, and Xiao Haiyang all made for very charming side characters, and the mysteries themselves were interesting. I also love the choice to work literary references into the novel in such a big way. I was *thrilled* when I started book 2 and realized what priest was doing with the book titles.

There really is a lot to like about Mo Du, and priest tells a great story with Fei Du. Watching a character intent on destroying himself be pulled from a dark path and manage to exact an almost perfect revenge while remaining unsullied is, uh, really satisfying. It's fun to watch the forces of justice be victorious!

However, as is the case with any ultimately pro-police story that tries to tackle the failings of the justice system, it feels like it bit off more than it could resolve thematically. The conspiracy has been unwound and the crooked cops have been exposed, but the novel makes a legitimate point about the failings of the police to really help people, especially early on, and the ending does not fully fix that problem. Things are definitely better than they were when the story ends. Fei Du is a rich man that likes to spend his money helping victims, and Lwz and his team are all very dedicated to bringing justice no matter the cost. But I don't think it's realistic to say that Lwz's people will somehow solve every crime in Yan city, or that no victim will ever be tossed by the wayside again. It just feels like there's this terrible looming extant problem in the background that neither priest or the characters can recognize.

Fei Du gets his happy ending and catharsis, and the victims of the Zhangs and Fan Siyuan get some version of justice in the end, but the problems of the justice system as presented in the story simply cannot be fixed.

Like I said, this is ultimately a failing that the story was bound to have, given that it's both pro-police to a large degree and concerned with how the justice system fails people, but I still feel it's worth pointibg out. Not to mention the overall copaganda-ness of how LWZ and his team are portrayed.

Besides my beef with police narratives, I also think that the mysteries in this one may have gotten a bit too convoluted for their own good at times. The crimes in Silent Reading are a complex fucking web, and keeping track of everything that happens would require following a near unfathomable number of tiny details over a long (540k) novel. Once we hit a certain point, I just had to accept that I wasn't going to be able to follow the details of the mystery or figure anything out for myself, which isn't necessarily what you want from a crime novel.

Also, as much as I enjoyed Fei Du, there were some points where I felt his backstory kinda failed to land. I think I'm honestly just spoiled by VnC at this point. Vanitas is a character with a truly horrific backstory and a bonkers personality, but it never feels like too much because every horrible thing in his past is reflected so well in his present traits (and vice versa). For Fei Du, on the other hand, his past sometimes felt like a little much. He's obviously going thru it in the present, but not quite a degree of fucked up that could sell me on the sheer insanity that is the whole metal ring situation.

Also, as I've complained about previously, I don't love how this novel treats women. I don't like how things ended with Yang Xin, and though I ended up enjoying Lang Qiao, I'm bothered by how she's basically the only woman that's relevant through the whole novel (compared to just SO many dudes).

Overall, a solid 6 or 7 out of 10. A lot of fun and very interesting, and it does have some compelling thematic things to say, but there were aspects which I found very much frustrated me. I might recommend it to anyone who likes Tai Sui and wants to see an interesting Zhou Ying precursor, as well as anyone who really likes mystery and crime novels with super intricate, complicated plotlines. However, I only make that recommendation if you promise to take the novel's portrayal of good policemen with a MASSIVE grain of salt lmao. I cannot stress enough the degree to which the portrayal of LWZ and his team ends up being copaganda-ish, even if that's unintentional.

... Exactly 👏🤯👌😱

💛

I def feel like when discussing vague concepts such as (being in) love, ppl are kinda doomed to talk past each other cos we mean different things, but *I* tend to think of love as a verb, as an active action, as a choice, as a catalyst for healing... And I DO think it has to involve trust!! And respect!! And kindness!??!! (this is apparently one of the few topics I'm capable of getting puritanical and/or pearlclutchy about 😂 love is in fact sacrosanct 💁🏼)

I generally quibble with the vision of (particularly romantic) love as something which happens to a (particularly grown up) person through ~forces, that they ~passively receive & then are ~inescapably struggling under, yknow? An italicised oh of discovering/acknowledging feelings is all well and good, but the italicised ah of committing to them IS where romance lives iyam! 🤷🏼‍♀️

If I was creating a word cloud re Beth & rio's feelings in canon to/for/abt each other I think there'd be: lust, obsession, fascination, bafflement, recognition, (self-)hatred, rage, jealousy, shame, desire, pity, bitterness, pride, exhaustion, doubt, appreciation, regret, amusement etc etc etc and I think affection could def get a look in, poss even forgiveness, but LOVE?! hmm

I (often?) ship them & really have no issue with the messy toxicity (in fact, the messier the better!), but I do baulk at the idea of (dynamics/narratives like) their canon being presented as romantic/love. Partly bc the desire to tie everything into neat bows feels overly reductive & arguably infantilising: they literally ARE much more interesting than that!!! The openness of their ending, especially the way it primacied vague allyship over anything else, was fascinating, and I think intentional!! (plus vaguely tangential but I resent the idea that a sexual relationship 'has' to result in a romantic one, or that any relationship 'has' to be ~permanent to be valid/successful/meaningful etc etc etc.)

but also and mostly bc they're repeatedly terrible to each other in canon sdrrffggg. That's not what love looks like to me 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️ like I'm not saying that love is a magic pill obvi, but describing canon Beth & rio as in love with each other feels... Depressing! and I'm not saying posting someone toes etc can't be romantic, but if everything's lined with manipulation and mistrust then... No, I don't think that gets to claim the love label, it's whatever that mishmash word cloud thing is rather 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

I do believe they have the capacity/seeds TO get to that point (& the ability to at least somewhat recognise/contemplate that), but what makes the ship and characters so thoroughly compelling to me is that they're prickly and private and protective and GROWN UPS and horribly selfish and similar etc etc etc. And that journey to love is something I can find endlessly delightful in ff bc canon sets the pieces up, but it also sets the roadblocks up in at least equal measure!

The repetition of (lack of) choice as a theme in canon was v interesting, and while we kinda saw them choosing to protect each other/break the cycle towards to the end of s4 (or at least I think that's what we saw, the pacing and logistics were often bananas), shit was still fraught & presumably easily tipped the wrong way again. I don't think we saw them choosing love exactly, but we started to see them possibly having a path there?

...but I also DO really think that Beth's in love with ruby in (earlier?) canon 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️ like seriously I can't think of anything that makes less sense if you assume this, and I can think of many things which do make more sense if you assume it! I'm not sure it's what canon was going for lol, but they literally gave us Beth & stan battling for Ruby's affections so 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤺

& i think that^ can give the beth/rio dynamic another (amazingly compelling!!) layer... It's about the loneliness and the rejection and the tragedy etc etc, and I think it's pretty easy to find the 🪞rio parallel to that (which doesn't need to be specifically romantic, but like it's pretty easy to hc that mick's betrayal was a lovers' spat, or rhea refused to marry him cos she thinks murder is immoral💤 & rio's still in a mood abt it, or he & Dean were actually childhood sweethearts but it all went wrong, or w/e 👀)

You know what else drives me crazy about this love triangle? I'm sorry but I find it extremely unrealistic that there is zero jealousy there. Maybe that is a reflection on me, but yes I would definitely feel some type of way if my best friend got in a relationship with my first love whom I still have feelings for. And Maria is not the least bit worried there might still be something between them? What? Idk maybe I'm just not evolved ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I totally believe that you don’t ‘own’ people from previous relationships or need permission from someones ex to be in a relationship with them, thats crazy, but it’s a matter of trust when it comes to best friends. 

When you confide in a friend about the inner workings of a relationship, you are trusting them with the fragility of your inner emotions (and if its Alex and Maria, that 10 years of extremely fraught emotions coming from an abused man who does not trust easily). If they were to then turn around and start dating that person, I would feel as though my trusting them with that personal information had been betrayed. I would never ever date a friends ex, probably not even with ‘permission’ because it would just feel like a betrayal of my friends trust in me. 

And if my best friend - who i had confided in about my problems with my partner, who had comforted me when they hurt me, or listened to me talk about how much I loved them- if they jumped into a relationship with him without even considering how much of a betrayal that would be of my trust in them, i would be hurt beyond belief. especially as I would spend all my time thinking ‘wow were they into each other the whole time and i was just standing there like a dumb schmuck?

I mean whether Maria should expect Michael to still having feelings for Alex, I don’t know. The two weren’t shown to be close before this, so we have no reason really to imagine that she is aware of the emotional component of the Malex dynamic going both ways. She might not be aware that Michael had romantic feelings for Alex. But she KNOWS how Alex feels, and she is supposed to be an emotionally intelligent woman. She wouldn’t expect that Alex is still in love with Michael? and that by entering into a relationship with him she is knowingly hurting her friend?

If I were Alex I would feel hurt, and cheated, and betrayed.

All 3 of them are fucking up and making mistakes, which is human, but the writers are handling this dynamic terribly 

I'm re-reading Barbed Wire and I'd love a Director's Commentary for Chapter 24, especially the confrontation between Tom and Amy on the train back after break.

24 is probably a real turning point for the fic bc it’s the permanent end of any ‘honeymoon’ phase between Tom and Amy. Amy demonstrates that she finds it impossible to overlook A. Tom’s growing interest in blood purity, B. the potential of him awakening the Basilisk and unleashing it on the school, and C. his blatant lying to her face about it and attempts to gaslight her after the fact? we see that when Amy loses faith in him and their relationship, she turns to her friends, people who she does have healthy bonds with, and this infuriates Tom. while he was content to begrudgingly ignore the fact that Amy had a social circle in Hufflepuff, apart from him, before, now it’s being thrown back in his face. when Amy doesn’t want to be around him, she goes to Vera for refuge. Tom finds this intolerable. Tom also feels that he is being the bigger person here by actively offering to come ‘home’ for Christmas with her, giving up two weeks of peace and quiet at Hogwarts for the chance of somehow repenting to Amy. he also tries to covertly reassure her that he’s done messing around with the Basilisk and has (for the time being) abandoned any plans of ridding Hogwarts of the ‘unworthy’. Amy, characteristically, is none too impressed by this. a major part of her character that I decided very early on in the fic is that she sees through him. I know there’s a plethora of fics involving Tom and an OC or some other character where he is consistently forgiven and his misdeeds (whatever level they be to in any particular fic) are pushed under the rug and swept aside in the face of his feelings for the main character. I did not want that to be the case with Amy. she calls him on his bullshit, frequently, and she’s not about to be won back just because he looks sad and handsome for a few minutes. we also see Tom grow increasingly insecure and frightened over the course of this chapter, as he realizes this is no ‘normal’ fight between the two of them. Amy doesn’t seem to be interested in forgiving him- she doesn’t even want to be around him, and that scares him. he hadn’t seriously considered the prospect of her A. finding out and B. holding it against him for long. obviously some foreshadowing when he says, “You can’t just run away from me for the rest of the school year.”  Amy then spends her break with Vera’s family, the Goldsteins, and sees two different sides of the same people. on the one-hand, Vera enjoys a close-knit family bond with her siblings and a shared culture/community as her family celebrates Chanukah together. on the other hand, her brother Simon is fighting in WW2 in Tunisia, and her parents’ have an especially tense and fraught relationship, to the point where Mrs. Goldstein barely acknowledges her own husband. this is revealed to be due to the fact that Vera’s father not only hid the fact that he was a wizard from his wife after their marriage, but up until their eldest child began displaying signs of magic. this prompted a massive schism in the relationship, and Mrs. Goldstein lost all trust and respect for her husband for hiding it from her. this was only heightened by him sending his children to Hogwarts, opposed to her wishes to keep them at home. I think it’s telling that Amy, in the midst of this fight with Tom, sees the serious consequences of deception on a relationship between a married couple. The Goldsteins may still be together, and they love their children, but there’s no warmth or affection between the two of them.  nevertheless, Amy still feels guilt over Tom spending his Christmas and New Year’s by himself at Wool’s, and has to actively remind herself that she can’t just forgive him for what he’s done, as tempted as she might be to give in. she debates whether or not any part of their relationship was genuine, or if he was just using and manipulating her the entire time. the hopeful and cynical sides of her battle it out- does Tom want her to help him become a better person, or does he just want to abuse her trust in him? this is really put to the test on the train ride back to Hogwarts, where they’re reunited. Tom really attempts to present an ‘honest’ apology, recognizing that he was wrong to lie to her and even stating that the politics and bigotry of blood purity is all just a distraction from the real problem- which for him is muggles versus wizards. Amy accuses him of just latching onto Grindelwald’s cause instead, advocating for complete magical control of the muggle world, and Tom brushes this off by pointing out that Grindelwald’s methods have been ‘too radical’ and turned off the general populace from wanting to follow him with all the death and destruction he’s caused across Europe. we then see some obvious foreshadowing of his own entrance into politics, when Tom states that the only way to effectively and permanently change things is from the inside out of the Ministry. he argues with Amy, appealing to her sense of humanity and reasoning that wizards could easily prevent many muggle wars and atrocities from occurring, saving millions of lives, and that eventually, muggles will rediscover the existence of magic and seek to exterminate wizards and witches.  Amy doesn’t believe in his proposed benevolent intentions, however, and is infuriated when he brings up Bianka without even recognizing her as a unique person. Tom is shocked when she not only doesn’t fall back into line with him, but goes so far as to say she’s done with him entirely- not just the romantic relationship, but their friendship too. her frustration is not just with his ideologies but with the idea of him continuing to ‘decide’ things for her- she says as much when she accuses him of being used to ‘knowing what’s best for everyone’. I think Amy realizes here that while she might take the lead in their romantic relationship, he continues to dominate every aspect of her life; she’s no meek little lamb, but Tom is still used to getting what he wants from her, be it conversation or attention or concern or affection. it is somewhat similar to the canon flashback scene where we see Lily break off her friendship with Severus; Amy tells Tom to ‘do what he likes with his rich, horrid friends’ but leave her out of it.  she then, notably, forgets her gloves with him - aka the ‘gloves have come off’ in their relationship dynamic, and now everything and anything is up for grabs and at stake here. there’s a real sense of desperation in the following chapters- Tom is desperate to get her back, and she is desperate to create her own life independent of him.

not here to convert you or anything but i'm kinda surprised u hate j*nsa as much as you do - or at least find it bland as hell - do u hate all aspects of it or would you ship it at a certain angle, if approached a certain way? again, not tryina convert you lmaoo ship & let ship, it's not monogamy in this trash world. I just thought the incest would be up your ally? Also a lot of the fic can be so...missionary so idk, I thought that's why it holds no appeal? words not working rn. just confused

(same j*nsa anon here) alternatively do you ship robb x sansa? sorry, but you’re pretty much the incest lady to me. LOOK - is it because you’re too diehard petyr x sansa to fuck with the rest? Because I’m petyr x sansa trash as well, I contain multitudes. I JUST WANNA HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS, BECAUSE AGAIN, YOU’RE THE INCEST LADY SO I JUST WANNA KNOW IF IT’S THE SHIP THAT BORES YOU OR FANDOM. UR THOUGHTS ARE ALWAYS FASCINATING. I JUST LIKE READING WHATEVER IT IS YOU COME UP WITH. IF YOU DON’T MIND

“you’re the incest lady” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

haha friend, that’s why subjectivity is so wonderful (love that walt whitman quote), but let me break it down for you

you’re absolutely right that j*onsa should be up my alley. but there are several reasons why it hasn’t had that impact on me

1. petyr/sansa is the first ship that got me into asoiaf/got and it has stuck with me throughout the ages. it really is my kind of dynamic, no doubt about it, especially due to aidan gillen’s really strong work and the fact that petyr baelish is, without exaggeration, one of the best literary characters of the last 30 years (imo). and he brings out the best in sansa. by “best” i don’t mean moral rectitude lol. sansa really comes into her own around him. is he taking advantage of her ? absolutely. is she taking advantage of him? she’s learning how to. it’s a smart, riveting duo that doesn’t even have to be romantic for me to love it. in fact, i prefer it when it is cerebral and manipulative with a small dash of genuine emotions. 

but i AM a big multishipper who likes aaall kinds of things so why can’t i get behind this? 

2. my big gripe is with the show, where j*onsa has been introduced as a dynamic (i DO see book signs that they will be reunited but it’s not a Thing there yet).  basically, GoT has done a very poor job with them. sansa stark has stopped being a legitimate and full-rounded character since season 4. and her characterization really took a nosedive in the past two seasons, which - you guessed it - is when she reconnects with her brother, jon. FIRST of all, they had sansa apologize to him as if she had taunted him all his life, as if she had been the big bully of his youth. MASSIVE EYE-ROLL. it’s as if the writers didn’t know how to make them bond after such a long time. ohhh i don’t know, how about jon remembering those times in their childhood when sansa taught him how to talk to ladies which is a CANONIC event??? they could’ve shared a drink and laughed about his poor manners and sansa could’ve said that he had certainly “improved”. and maybe she could’ve added “i wish i had known you better”, to which he could’ve said “so do i.” SEE. see how easy that was without devaluing the characters!!! Secondly, they don’t show them talking about legitimate, important, intimate things. for fuck’s sake, i’m sure jon would like to know what happened in king’s landing and the eyrie etc. their lack of communication is why he doesn’t really listen to her advice, no? most of their show!conversations are about jon’s shallow man-pain or the glories of house stark. sansa is suddenly consumed with legacy and house-rights. and jon isn’t. and instead of talking about it, instead of asking sansa why she’s hellbent on this mission and maybe having a heart-to-heart about family and trauma…instead of ALL that, they just sort of mumble at each other and become increasingly frustrated with each other’s actions…AND OK, you’re gonna say, maybe that was the point, for them to butt heads and clash BUT

3.the show is afraid to explore their actual feelings/frustrations. sansa will sometimes be angry at him and jon will retaliate, and just when you think things are going somewhere…they both sort of shut up and fold back. the same pattern is obvious during their “affectionate” moments. it’s like they’re both holding back, either due to poor direction or poor writing, or both. the best scene so far still remains their initial hug. 

4. jon snow has also become a sham of a character on the show, and it’s hard to enjoy him with sansa when i can’t stand the way he’s written. it feels like he has been stripped of nuance and personality. so in one scene he chokes littlefinger because he’s being “protective” (possessive) of sansa….then that…just gets dropped. he receives information arya and bran are alive and is…stone-faced about it. like he’s super chill, not really affected by anything. the real jon would’ve fucking flipped, he would’ve tried to see them. and don’t tell me all of this is gonna be picked up in the 6 episodes of the last season…because i have lost all faith in d&d. 

5. i do understand why ppl ship it and i do see book-evidence for it possibly being a stealth endgame but the books haven’t butchered the characters and will surely get there more organically? the show had EVERY opportunity to convince me this dynamic was gold and wasted so much of it, imo. . i’m sure fanfics do a better job with it, but i just…every time they’re on screen it’s so wooden, and i’m certain it’s because they’re being directed by idiots. i’m sure sophie and kit want to show more feelings and act like actual human beings but i assume they’re not allowed. just like sophie and maisie were not allowed to act like sisters. 

6. their partnership ends up devaluing sansa. which annoys me. real jon would absolutely never. hell, real jon would spit on show!jon IM SORRY IT’S TRUE. that’s what’s actually really annoying about it. it could’ve been done so well but….for me it ended up being a bland mess. i’m sure that fics and fandoms elevate it, tho. 

7. even my beloved petyr/sansa has been cheapened by the show to some degree, so you can see why other ships take even harder falls

OKAY BUT robb/sansa u’ve got my attention!!! that would be so fraught! because they’re both tully kids, deep down. aaah. 

and honestly, i could be for book!j*onsa too, if it were written well. but show!j*onsa is a goddamn mess. the show is a goddamn mess.