#not jere saying this... like literally making it known he will never be her first choice | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eddiemunsons80sbaby · 2 months

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Never Say Never

Chapter 16

Pairing: SingleDad!StevexReader

Summary: You are a 32 year old single mother, raising your seven year old son on your own. After being widowed at 30 and going out on awful dates with disgusting men for the past month, you have decided that you're giving up. You already had your great love. One person can't possibly get lucky enough to have two in their lifetime. But then your son starts playing baseball and the coach might just change your mind about that.

No posting schedule.

18+ only for eventual smut

Word Count: 7.9K

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Two weeks later found you at the baseball diamond for the boys first game of the season. Your group took up an entire section of the bleachers, everyone had showed up to cheer the kids on. You were squeezed between Robin and Janice, Matt on Janice’s other side. In front of you were Dustin, Lucas, Max, Nancy, and Jonathan. Behind you was El, Mike, Will, Nolan, Joyce, Karen, and Hopper. Jeremiah had a literal cheering section that was there for him and it hit you that now, so did Eli. Somehow, the two of you were not only lucky enough to get Steve, but also the entire family that came along with him.

You caught sight of Judith out of the corner of your eye, walking up, looking more out of place than a string quartet at a toddler’s birthday party. Who showed up to a baseball game in heels and a pantsuit? Judith did. You fought the urge to roll your eyes or hide. Judith’s eyes darted over the bleachers, looking for you, wincing at the raucous ruckus the dad she was standing next to was making as he loudly bragged about his son.

“Uh-oh…the she-beast has arrived,” muttered Janice, nodding in your mother-in-law’s direction.

“I saw,” you sighed, rising to your feet, waving your hand to make it easier for Judith to find you. There would be no hiding. Sometimes being the responsible adult sucked.

Judith somehow managed to look both annoyed and relieved at the sight of you. Sending one last scathing look toward the oblivious father, she made her way to your section of the bleachers.

“Judith!” exclaimed Karen, climbing carefully down, opening her arms in welcome. “You’re Eli’s grandmother. I’m Jeremiah’s grandmother. And so is Joyce.” She pointed to the petite woman who was currently holding onto Jonathan’s head to step down.

“So you’re Steve’s mom or are you Steve’s mom?” questioned Judith, her eyes roaming over the two, judgement evident in her eyes. You didn’t have to try too hard to imagine what she must be thinking. Joyce standing there in her baggy jeans and oversized sweatshirt and Karen all done up with bright makeup and a dress that, gasp, stopped above her knees and even showed some cleavage. Oh, the horror.

Karen laughed, her hand coming to her breast, Judith’s eyes about popping out of her head at the amount of bosom on display. Because heaven forbid a woman had the audacity to dress however she wanted, to be proud of her own body. And honestly, Karen had every right to show off. The woman was stunning.

“Oh no. Neither of us are. Steve’s parents aren’t really in the picture sadly. I’m Nancy’s mom.” She turned, pointing to the petite brunette who waved with a smile. “Nancy is Jeremiah’s mom.”

“And I’m actually Jonathan’s mom,” Joyce explained, pointing to her son who simply lifted his hand. “He’s Jeremiah’s stepdad but I’ve known Steve since he was just a young kid in high school and he’s practically a son to me. So it feels like I’m his mom, too.”

“Yeah, and I’ve known him just as long because him and Nance met in high school so he kind of feels like a son to me too. The poor boy went from having no mom to multiple moms who are always in his business whether he wants us there or not.”

Joyce shrugged, “Honestly, everyone here is family. Everyone you see behind you are Jere’s aunts and uncles.” They all waved, Dustin and Max a bit more obnoxiously than the rest. “Well, except for Hop. He’s my husband. So I guess he’s kind of like Steve’s dad for all intents and purposes.”

Hopper snorted and then shrugged, “I’ll guess I’ll claim Harrington if I have to.”

“How…unconventional of all of you,” Judith managed, her teeth gritted in a tight smile.

Your eyes slipped closed in frustration. Of course this woman had to show up and ruin what was looking to be a perfect day. She couldn’t fathom something like found family. She believed blood came before everything else. The very idea that all of these people could come together and be more important to each other than the family genetics had stuck them with was inconceivable for a brain like hers.

“Well, come on up,” Karen invited, giving her a wave. “We can all scooch and make room for you with the grandparents.”

“Oh, that’s alright. There will be no need for any…scooching. I’ll just…” Her eyes quickly scanned the bleachers. “I’ll sit right here. I’ll be fine.” Before anyone could argue with her, she dropped down in front of Max who turned, giving you a, can you believe this woman, look.

You rolled her eyes, letting Max silently know you could not believe her but honestly, you could. You'd learned to expect nothing less than constant judgement and absolute disdain from that woman. No one was ever good enough in her eyes. Judith raised her bar so high that no one, who wasn’t Justin, could ever manage to leap over it. And even he’d struggled to make that jump sometimes.

You zoned out as the boys began talking about their latest D&D campaign in front of you, your eyes drawn to the sight of Steve out on the field with the team. He stood, surrounded by boys in baseball pants and white shirts with green stripes. And god he looked good, fitted jeans that showed off the muscles in his strong thighs, a moss green short sleeved shirt, his rounded biceps peeking out from the hem as he leaned forward, hands on his knees to talk to the kids. A baseball cap sat on his head and she didn’t know what it was but you loved him in a ballcap, all those beautiful locks spilling out from underneath.

It was difficult to wrap your head around the fact that it had only been two weeks since you'd both been brave to utter those three little words, three little words with an impact big enough to change the trajectory of your lives. Two weeks of you feeling like you were walking on air, like nothing could possibly go wrong, floating in your own little bubble of bliss. It felt like so much longer. You couldn’t even remember what your life had been like before Steve had become a part of it, the endless days of just trying to make it through, and you didn’t want to.

The two of you had spent nearly every night together since that moment on the beach, much to the boy’s excitement. Not sleeping over, that was still something you were trying to move slowly with for the boys’ sake, particularly Eli. Steve had been incredibly understanding about you wanting to wait a bit before you took that step. But almost every evening the four of you ate dinner together, sometimes at your house, sometimes at his. You played board games, watched movies, went for a walk down to the local ice cream place or rode your bikes over to the park for the boys to play.

Steve had surprised you twice at work, showing up with lunch for the two of you. Dustin, Mike, Lucas, and Will had invited the boys over one night for D&D last week and Robin had offered to take them to a movie last night to allow Steve and you some alone time. It was incredible. You hadn’t just gained Steve but an entire village of people who just showed up and were there, ready to help at a moment’s notice, and you were so thankful for every single one of them. You'd never had anyone but Janice and Matt and having so many people who were willing to pitch in, who enjoyed your kid enough to want to spend time with him, well it meant more to you than you could possibly express to them.

Your attention on Steve broke with an elbow to your side. Looking over, you found Janice grinning wickedly at you, “What were you thinking about, huh?”

“Probably last night,” teased Robin. “I took the boys to a movie so she and Steve were all alone. Replaying the highlight reel of naked time in your mind?”

“Eww! Can we not?” Mike asked.

“Oh please.” Robin rolled her eyes. “Maybe I had to censor myself when you were thirteen but you’re twenty-six now. I think you can handle knowing how babies are made.”

“Babies? I didn’t know we were talking about babies.” El’s face lit up. “Are you going to have a baby? Oh, I miss babies. Jeremiah was such a cute little baby.”

“No one is talking about babies,” you replied, noticing how stiff Judith’s posture had suddenly gotten. She was only sitting a couple rows in front of you and there was no doubt she was listening to every word being spoken, stocking up ammunition for later. You did not need that woman to have one more reason to come at you. “Jeez. You guys are being ridiculous.”

“Not yet anyway,” teased Nancy, turning around. “But I heard the ‘l’ word has been spoken so you never know…”

“Oh my god!” Max shrieked, spinning completely around in her seat, Judith doing the same, her eyes shooting daggers at you. You braced yourself but Judith quickly spun back around as Max continued gushing. “Are you serious? You’re using the love word? I knew you were in love. You got all red faced at the coffee shop that night when the word was even mentioned.”

“When’s the wedding?” Lucas wiggled his eyebrows. “Because I look like a million bucks in a tux and the way Dustin is going, I might never get to be in another wedding if you two don’t tie the knot.”

“Hey! I will have you know that Heather and I are going on our third date tomorrow night,” Dustin stated, folding his arms.

“Ohhh…” Will crooned. “You convinced her to go out with you a third time? What’d you bribe her with? Oh, or is it blackmail? You got something juicy on her that she doesn’t want revealed?”

Dustin chucked a piece of popcorn at him and Will caught it in his mouth, grinning triumphantly as he chewed. Dustin shook his head in disgust.

“I don’t think Dustin needs bribery or blackmail. Heather has been talking about him nonstop at the office,” you told them, sending a wink Dustin’s way. “She really likes you. She said she had a blast at the Science Museum with you last week.”

“Oh yeah? I had a lot of fun too. What else has she said about me?”

“Hmm. Let me think,” you taunted, tapping your finger against your chin, relieved to be talking about someone that wasn’t you with Judith sitting and listening like a hawk. “That you’re adorable and funny. She thinks you have the best smile. She told me you’re one of the nicest guys she’s ever met and that you’re super smart. She says your big brain is one of the sexiest things about you.”

Mike, Lucas, and Will began gagging on cue, perfectly synced as if they’d rehearsed it first. Dustin glared at them all but you could see how pleased he was at the information you'd just relayed to him. And it was all true. You'd been teasing Heather all week about what a smitten little kitten she was. They were awfully cute together.

“And speaking of new romance,” you sang, bopping your elbow into Robin’s side. “How goes it with the lovely June?”

Robin’s face flushed a brilliant shade of scarlett. She grabbed onto a piece of her hair, toying with it, a coy smile lifting the corners of her mouth. Clearly Heather wasn’t the only smitten kitten around here.

“June?” came Judith’s voice loudly. “That’s a very strange name for a man.”

“Well, that would be because June is, in fact, a woman,” Dustin stated.

Judith made a sound like a throttled gasp, her eyes going wide, “A woman? So…you’re…one of those…?”

“One of what exactly?” challenged Max, leaning forward, elbows on her knees. “A human? A woman? An American? An Earthling? What exactlt are you asking, Judith?”

Your hands clenched at your sides, bracing yourself for an ugly scene. A scene that could destroy this beautiful thing that had been building around you. Why would any of them want you to be a part of their lives when that would mean this awful woman would be a part of it too? Judith’s mouth went tight at Max’s confrontation and you braced yourself, waiting for the nasty thing that was about to come out of her mouth.

But Judith simply stated, “Never mind. It’s none of my concern,” and turned back around. Huh. She must have realized she was outnumbered and didn’t like her odds.

“So anyway, back to the matter at hand,” Max said loudly, turning to Robin.

“Yes, we’re all dying to know,” Karen exclaimed, leaning into Robin. “Are there sparks?”

“I wouldn’t say sparks…” Robin began and when they all looked crestfallen, she grinned. “More like massive explosions that could level an entire city.” She giggled. “She’s amazing. I mean, we went to the movies and it was fun, but you can’t really talk much at the movies.”

Nolan snorted, “You? You talk through movies all the time.”

“With you guys,” she huffed. “But she doesn't even know me yet. Not really. I didn’t want to give her the full dose of how neurotic I am right out of the gate. I have to give her small doses until she’s just acclimated to it and doesn’t realize the extent of my craziness. Anyway, I thought that would be the end of it. You know? I told you guys it went well but I didn’t really expect anything to come of it. Then she called and asked if I wanted to go to dinner. So we went out Tuesday night again and we were sitting in the restaurant for six hours! Six hours! Can you believe it?”

“What in the hell do you do in a restaurant for six hours?” Hopper huffed. “I mean, after you eat what else is there?” Joyce swatted him and he looked over at her, bewildered. “What?”

“Just because you have no conversational skills doesn’t mean others don’t. They were obviously talking.”

“I have conversational skills. I am very eloquent with my words, thank you very much.” He grinned when you all laughed because nothing about this bear of a man screamed eloquent. “But six hours? What could you possibly have to talk about for six hours?”

“Everything,” Robin sighed dreamily. “She was asking me all kinds of questions and she didn’t even seem to mind when I rambled. She said she thought it was cute! Can you believe it? And I learned so much about her. She loves cats. She has two of them, Hoggle and Ludo.”

“What kinds of names are those?” Judith piped up and you fought the urge to throw one of your M&Ms at the back of her head. Hadn’t the woman said enough already? Why couldn’t she just shut up?

“She’s a Labyrinth fan!” you squealed, choosing to ignore your mother-in-law completely instead. “Great taste in movies.”

“Yes! And music…she loves Blondie, Bowie, the Beatles…”

“All solid choices,” Joyce replied.

“I don’t know,” Hopper mused. “I didn’t hear any Zeppelin or Stones mentioned.”

“You’re showing your age, Hop,” Will teased.

“The game is starting,” Judith interrupted loudly. “So maybe the inappropriate talk about love lives could finish now.”

“Damn, she’s really not any fun is she?” Robin hissed in your ear.

“You have no idea,” you mumbled back with a groan. You had to keep reminding yourself that Judith was Eli’s grandmother. No matter how frustrating she was, you were going to have to deal with her but only as much as absolutely necessary. Hopefully she would just head home after the game and save you all from her unwanted presence any longer.

The game went far better than you had expected for it being the boys’ first time. Eli actually managed to hit the ball and made it all the way to third before the other team’s player managed to throw it in. Matt may have cheered the loudest, jumping out of his seat, proud of the kid he’d spent so much time in the batting cages with.

Matt’s cheering had not come as a surprise but the way the rest of them all cheered for your son did. It wasn’t just a casual, yay Eli, an obligatory cheer because their friend was dating the kid’s mom. They seemed genuinely excited, celebrating his moments of glory just as loudly and proudly as they did Jeremiah’s. When Jeremiah ran into home, breaking the tie and winning the game, you leapt from your seat, you and Nancy high fiving and hugging, two moms sharing your pride in your boys.

Both boys came racing off the field, their cheeks bright red, flushed from both the excitement and the exertion. They were swept up in a flurry of hugs and high fives from the crowd of people who had shown up just for them.

“You boys were amazing!” Hopper yelled, pulling both boys in for a bear hug. Yeah, you could definitely see where Dustin got Smokey the Bear from this guy.

“Did you see me slide right into home, grandpa? I saw that kid grab it but I just knew I had time! Daddy says to take chances!” Jeremiah beamed, the smile on his face so wide it looked painful.

“I saw it, kid. You did real good. You took the chance and it paid off. You’re going to be the next Barry Bonds, just watch. And you!” He turned his attention to Eli, his massive hand ruffling her son’s hair. “That was a hell of a hit, kid. Making it all the way to third before they could get it. You gave them a run for their money. They were scrambling after that ball.”

Eli looked so proud that your heart could burst. Judith stepped forward. She’d been keeping to the outside of the group, clearly uncomfortable, uncertain how to make herself known. You had no doubt it was killing her to see Eli receiving so much positive attention from so many people that were not her. To see that he had other people in his life that were important to him, to not be the first person that had congratulated him on his game.

Just as she stepped forward and Eli spotted her, running into her arms for a hug, Steve was making his way over from the diamond, a large bag slung over his shoulder. When his eyes found yours, he gave you one of those smiles that came with a side of a very flirty wink that he seemed to reserve just for you.

“Good game, huh?” he commented, a quick kiss planted on your lips. “The boys did a great job.”

“That’s because they have a great coach,” you replied, your arms slipping around his stomach, smiling up at this man who always had you in a state of complete awe.

“Everybody still up for burgers and shakes at Benny’s?” Hopper boomed out over the cacophony of noise.

You glanced over to Judith who was purposefully keeping her eyes off of you and Steve. You really didn’t want to invite her but it would be the right thing to do. She’d driven all this way for the game.

“Judith, would you like to join us?” you asked, keeping your arms firmly locked around Steve because who cared what Judith thought. You had made it clear to her that this new future with Steve did not erase your past with Justin. The woman was just going to have to get used to it.

“Oh. I…no, I don’t think so.” She shook her head. “Henry is supposed to be getting back this evening and he’ll need dinner.” She looked around to the others, feeling the need to explain, “Work trip.”

Yeah. Henry had an awful lot of work trips. Justin had confided in you that he wasn’t so sure they were all for work but he could never prove it. And Judith chose to go through life blissfully unaware. As far as you knew, you'd never confronted him or questioned him. But the two of them had never exactly been the warm and fuzzy couple. There weren’t those moments of tender touches or warm glances ever. Their relationship seemed more like a business transaction, something that was mutually beneficial to them both.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah grandma. Benny’s has the best shakes!”

Jeremiah nodded his agreement. “Eli and I both love strawberry! And Benny always brings me ranch to dip my fries in.”

“Oh, that’s nice.” Judith smiled down at the boy, seeming surprised that he was taking the time to talk to her. She jumped when Joyce came up next to her, placing an arm around her shoulders.

“Come on Judes.” You brought your hand to your mouth to cover the snort that had slipped out at Joyce’s choice of nickname. Robin clearly found it just as amusing as she shoved her face into El’s shoulder, her body shaking with laughter. “It’ll be fun. And if these two crazy kids are going to be doing the family thing, then that means we all need to do the family thing, right?”

“Yeah, Judes,” Max agreed, grinning as if this were the best moment of her life. “We’re all one big happy family now. We all love Eli and he loves us. Right, kid?”

Eli leapt from the ground as he proudly exclaimed, “Yeah!” He turned to Judith. “Dustin and Mike and Will and Lucas all play this really cool game called Dungeons and Dragons and they’re teaching me all about it. And Robin took us to see this movie, First Kid. It’s about this kid who is the president’s son and he has a bodyguard. It’s so funny and she got us popcorn and Skittles because she says Skittles are the superior candy. And Max is teaching me how to skateboard! I fell off a couple times but I’m starting to get the hang of it. She says I’ll be a pro by the end of summer. And El came over and helped us make slime when we spent the night with Nancy and Jonathan. They let us stay up until midnight and we got to do s’mores over the fire in their backyard. It was so cool. And Hopper let us ride in his police car! He even turned on the lights and the siren for us and he brought us one of those pads to do fingerprints! And Joyce makes the best spaghetti. We went to her house for dinner and Will is an artist and he showed us all these cool things he drew when he was just our age!”

Judith looked a bit taken aback as Eli kept rambling, caught off guard at how large a part of his life each of these people were now. You almost felt sorry for her, the sadness in her eyes, knowing how she wished she was closer so she could be a bigger part of Eli’s life. Almost but not quite because the woman was her own worst enemy.

“I don’t know. Henry…”

“Is a grown man who can fend for himself,” you reminded her. “He’s fifty-six Judith. The man should know how to at least make a sandwich.”

Judith’s hands wrung together, an internal battle playing over her face. Damn. Was she really that programmed by that man or was her uncertainty coming from all the new people, the fact that she would be the one outside looking in instead of at the center of it all?

“Come on. It will be fun,” Karen urged. “My husband, Tedd, isn't here either. We’ll be two crazy ladies without their husbands. I mean, who needs them anyway, right?”

Judith laughed, her hand flying to her mouth, eyes going wide as if she couldn’t believe she’d just done that. You pressed your lips together in amusement. So there was a woman desperate for fun in there just waiting to break free. You could see it in the sparkle of those ocean blue eyes, so much like her son’s.

“Are you sure you want me to come?” she asked, the question directed at you.

You smiled, stepping forward, placing your arm around Judith’s shoulders, “Of course I do.”

Maybe this could work out after all. Maybe Judith wasn’t as awful as she seemed. Perhaps all that bluster and rudeness came from a place of deep fear. Fear not that her son would be forgotten, but that she would. Fear that you would move on and in turn, so would Eli, and she would be left with nothing after losing her only child besides a husband that was more boring than watching paint dry. Perhaps all of this had simply been because no one but Justin had ever really thought she mattered.

Judith’s mouth lifted at the corners, her entire demeanor changing with that subtle smile. It made her appear far more approachable and soft. She nodded.

“Okay. I haven’t had a milkshake in years. Do they have malts? Oh, malts were my favorite.”

“Mine too!” Hopper bellowed. “And you won’t find a better malt than Benny’s. Come on. You can ride with us old folks.” He pulled his keys from his pocket.

“Oh! That's quite alright. I don’t want to inconvenience you. Then you would have to bring me back here. I have my own car if you just want to tell me how to get there.”

“Nonsense!” Joyce looped her arm in Judith’s, tossing you a wink. “You are not an inconvenience. Us grandmas have to stick together. Come on. We’ll let the young ones be. We’ll have plenty of time to tell you all sorts of juicy stories about Steve this way.”

Steve groaned, his head rolling around his shoulders, “Or not!”

“You’ll love this one, Judith,” Karen laughed, taking her other arm as they led her toward the parking lot. “One time I found Steve climbing up the trellis of our house to sneak and see Nancy…”

“Great,” muttered Steve as their words faded, shaking his head. “Your mother-in-law is never going to like me once those three fill her head with every screw up I’ve ever made.”

“It doesn’t matter if she likes you,” you reminded him, rising up to your tiptoes to press your lips to his. “Because I do.”

“Besides, she’ll figure out for herself what a dingus you are before too long,” Robin snorted, yelping when Steve shoved her backward.

“So, how do you think this is going to go?” asked Janice who had always chosen to keep her distance. After one meeting with Judith, Janice preferred to not deal with her at all if she could, always saying she was going to open her mouth and piss the woman off if she said one more negative thing about you in front of her.

“With Judith…who knows…”

___________________________________________________________

But it went far better than Steve could have possibly imagined. He’d pictured Judith sitting there stiffly, staring them all down as she judged every single word they said. Or possibly offending every single person at the table with her words at some point. Or announcing to the entire table why Steve shouldn’t be with you. However, none of that happened.

Sitting between Karen and Joyce, the woman had loosened. As if the two others had slowly unraveled the strings that had been knotting her up for years and she could finally breathe. She smiled. She even laughed. And even though he’d only known her a very short time, it had even shocked him to see. He hadn’t been sure the woman was capable of frivolity of any kind. Forget actually enjoying anything.

And the best part of it was that you seemed to finally be relaxed. You sat at the other end of the table, Steve on one side of you and Janice on the other, keeping your distance from Judith. But every now and then you would look down at the woman and smile. Your two worlds were coming together and it wasn’t the horrendous clash you’d expected. They were actually appearing to meld quite seamlessly.

By the time dinner was over, everyone was heading out full and in good spirits. Judith had even smiled politely when Robin asked if Steve and you would want to double date with her and June soon. She swallowed down any bullshit bias she had. If she was going to be ignorant, at least she was following the golden rule and keeping her damn mouth shut if she had nothing nice to say.

After saying your goodbyes, Steve drove you and the boys back to his house. You fed Miles while Steve headed out back to get a fire going. The boys raced upstairs to play on the Nintendo 64 for a while. You stepped onto the back deck, sliding the door shut after Miles raced out behind her, instantly doing zoomies throughout the yard.

God, you were pretty. Even weeks after meeting, he still found himself in awe of you. Jeans that wrapped around each and every curve in a way that had his hands twitching at his sides, wanting to follow those familiar hills and valleys. You hated shoes and socks, lost them as soon as you could, something he’d learned about you over the past weeks, so bare pink toes peeked out from beneath the flared denim. The Bowie shirt you wore was cropped, a sliver of your soft stomach exposed. Your hair was up in a high ponytail, only accentuating your neck which was just calling to his mouth.

You tilted your head, those perfectly pink cotton candy lips pursing in a way that had him thinking so many thoughts that were not anywhere near the ballpark of holy. You were the most beautiful creature he had ever seen and he fought the urge to pinch himself, to prove these last weeks weren’t some fever dream that he was going to wake from.

“See something you like?” Your tone was light, playful, as he slowly made his way up onto the deck until he stood right in front of you.

“I most certainly do.” Fingers gripped your hips, tugging you into him until you could feel just how much he liked what he was seeing. “You have no idea the effect you have on me.”

“Oh, I think I have a pretty good idea right now,” you chuckled, hands tracing over his chest and shoulders to loop around his neck. “But sadly for you, there are children afoot so there is not much I can do about that at the moment.”

“You simply existing does it for me. You don’t have to do anything but appear, honey. That’s it. You laugh. You smile. You cross your legs. You tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. You take a sip of coffee. It all does it for me.”

“Yeah? Well, same for me. I swear I dreamed you into existence, Steve Harrington. I didn’t believe guys like you existed. I thought they were meant for storybooks and movies.”

Heat rushed over his cheeks at your compliment. “I’m no fairytale prince, honey but I promise to try to give you a happily ever after.”

Your teeth pulled at your bottom lip, your eyes widening just slightly at his words and he was doubting himself all over again. Should he not have said that? Was that pushy? But hadn’t you said forever? Hadn’t you said it just a couple weeks ago? That if you both were all in then you had to be planning on forever?

“Happily ever after? That sounds nice,” you murmured, pulling him in until your lips met, all his doubt vanishing like vapor on the air with your words.

His arms wound around you, lifting you up onto your toes, crushing your bodies together. You moaned softly, the sound swallowed by his lips, and his jeans felt painfully tight. You tasted just as sweet as you looked, chocolate milkshake met with cherry lip balm, a combination that had his head spinning.

Everything else ceased to exist for him when your lips were on his. Your tongue parted his lips, slipping along his own, and he couldn’t have told you what color the sky was or what month of the year it was. There was only you and him, locked in this moment that he wanted to make last until eternity. If this was how he would spend the rest of his days on this Earth, he could be okay with that.

But you did manage to think, pulling back, your lips now slick, curved into the prettiest smile, your eyes heavy with the desire that was racing under his skin. He wanted you. He always wanted you and with the boys, he never had you nearly enough. But the boys were right upstairs and he knew you couldn’t risk it. Those kids could be down and out the door before they even heard a sound.

“Thank you.”

“For what?” he asked, your questioning barreling through his brain fog. “You don’t have to thank me. I’ll kiss you anytime you want.”

“No,” you chuckled, swatting at him. “Thank you for today, for dealing with Judith. I know she’s…difficult. But I don’t know. She seemed a little different today. I have hope. It's a very small hope but hope that maybe she’s coming around. But I know she wasn’t very nice to you and the fact that you are willing to put up with her…I’m just really grateful because you don’t have to, you know.”

“Of course I do.” Steve slid his hand down your arm, locking your fingers together. He led you to the lounger, sitting and pulling you down in his lap. His nose traced your jaw, nuzzled into your hair. “She’s a part of your life and she’s a part of Eli’s life. If I want to be a part of your life then that means she’s part of mine too.”

“That’s…very kind of you.”

“No. It’s not.” He took your chin between his thumb and forefinger, turning your face to his. “Look. When I said I was all in, I meant it. I don’t get to be all in and then pick and choose what I am willing to handle. Anything that comes your way comes my way now too. Anything that’s heavy for you, you got me to help you carry it. Anything that’s hurting you, I will step in front of. That’s the deal. It’s not just you anymore. It’s us. We’re a team.”

“Okay coach,” you beamed, teasing but your eyes betrayed your lighthearted tone, shimmering with emotion at his words.

Wasn’t that what a relationship was supposed to be? Two people against the world? He loved this woman. He wanted to be in your life. He wanted to crawl inside your skin and live there the way you did in his. You had managed to slither your way inside. You were in the blood that ran through his veins, in every single beat of his heart, in the very cells that made up his skin.

Yeah. You came with baggage but who didn't? And he was more than willing to help you carry that load because you were more than worth it. You were everything he hadn’t even known he’d been searching for. He’d looked for so long, in all the wrong places, never knowing that the one that would finally fill in all those hollow places inside him already existed in the same town as him.

Maybe it was wrong, maybe it was an awful thing to think, but it felt like fate had brought you together. He was so sorry that your husband had died but maybe this was the course your lives had to take for you to find one another. He’d thought about what if he’d been first. What if he’d stumbled across you when you were out with your friends thirteen years ago? It had made him feel like an absolute piece of shit, but he couldn’t help but wonder what life would be like if he’d been the one.

But then there would be no Jeremiah. There would be no Eli. You wouldn’t have known the love she already had with your husband. He wouldn’t have gotten the thump on his head that he needed for him to see you, truly see you, to understand how lucky he was to have you. Maybe the two of you had to go through all that heartache and disappointment to come to this place, where you could truly appreciate what you had. So you would never take it for granted, never throw it away, or treat it carelessly.

So yeah. Maybe Steve hadn’t been your first but he had every intention of being your last. Your last boyfriend, your last love, your last kiss, your last everything. Because he’d chosen wrong so many times before, yes, but he hadn’t this time. He knew it like he knew his own name, like he knew the sun would rise tomorrow, like he knew the beat of his son's heart. He’d chosen right this time and there was nothing that would make him walk away. He would spend the rest of his life showing you just how much you meant to him. He would never take for granted this amazing gift that had somehow walked right onto his baseball field and into his life.

“So, can I ask…I think you were going to tell me that day at the lake but we got a little sidetracked. What is the deal with you and Judith?”

Your head tipped back, eyes tracking the stars as you inhaled deeply, “I don’t know. There was never a specific moment or an event. It’s not like we had a falling out. She’s just always been like that with me. From the moment Justin introduced me to her, she treated me like I just wasn’t good enough. I was never enough for her precious son, you know?”

Steve snorted, “She’s nuts. Has she met you?”

“You’re sweet but I don’t think there’s anything I could ever do that would be enough for her. She always wanted to be the most important to him and I feel like she saw me as a threat. I mean, it’s insane. Isn’t that how it’s supposed to work? You raise your son to be a good man. You hope they find someone who will see that and love them. They choose their person and that person should come first. I mean, it’s the logical order of things. But she never saw it like that. It was like she always had to find a flaw in me to prove that she was better, that she loved Justin more, that his love for her outshone his love for me.”

“Did he…”

“No.” You cut him off, shaking your head. “No. Absolutely not. He took off as soon as he could. That’s why he joined the Marines, to get away from her. He told me he felt like she was smothering him and he couldn't breathe in that house anymore. He also didn’t have the best relationship with his dad. I think Henry cheats on Judith all the time. I’m pretty sure that’s why he goes on so many ‘business trips…’” You air quoted the words. “I think they’re far more pleasure than business. Justin thought so too. He just had to get away from it.”

“Well, I understand the need to get away from toxic parents. Mine weren’t smothering…quite the opposite actually. They just were indifferent unless I was disappointing them. Did you two even see her very much if their relationship wasn’t the best?”

“Not really.” Your fingers trailed along his hand, running over his knuckles. “Holidays, birthdays…you know, the required stuff. But she would be Judith and Henry, well, when he was actually there, he would pick apart Justin. He thought he was a waste, going into the military instead of going to college. Justin was always in a horrible mood when we left. He would put off seeing them for as long as he could.”

“What about Eli? Did they want to be around when he came along?”

“Oh yeah. Well, Judith did anyway. Saw him as her second chance at getting someone to love her best. But Justin kept her at arm’s length as much as he could. He hated seeing what having her around did to me. She questioned everything I did, judged me, picked me apart. She always made me feel like an awful mother. When Eli was first learning to walk, he fell. You know how they are at that age. Their heads are too big for their bodies and they’re like a weeble wobble. He fell and smashed his forehead into the corner of the wall. He had a huge goose egg and I was panicked that he had a serious brain injury. We took him to the E.R. Judith showed up and immediately started telling me what an incompetent mother I was, questioning what I’d been doing when he fell, why I wasn’t watching him. Justin lost it. He blew up at her right in the middle of the hospital. That was the moment he told her that if she couldn’t respect his wife and the mother of his child, then she was no longer welcome to be a part of our lives. I’ve never seen her so put in her place. She had no idea how to respond. Anyway, we didn’t hear from her for about a month after that. It was a bit better then but things with her and I have always been a bit…precarious.”

“Jesus. She sounds awful. And she’s clearly no fan of mine but that’s alright. I don’t need to impress her. The only person I care about impressing is you.” He wiggled his eyebrows, planting a soft kiss on your lips.

“Oh, I am very impressed Mr. Harrington. Very impressed,” you mused, your arms winding around his neck, nose nuzzling gently over his own.

Steve was overcome with the desire to keep you there, to never let you go. Every night, when he would have to gather his things or watch you gather yours, it left him with a hollow ache. Maybe it was soon but who decided how soon was too soon? Was it too soon when all he could think about when you weren't around was seeing you again? Was it too soon when he laid in bed, inhaling the scent of vanilla and pear that you left behind, craving the warmth of your body curled into his?

“Stay,” he whispered, a plea sent on his breath to your skin, his nose tracing your cheek.

“What?”

“Stay. Stay the night with me.” His fingers wrapped around your biceps, holding you against him, willing you to agree. “I know why you’ve wanted to wait. I understand your reasons but your reasons aren’t really reasons anymore.”

“Steve…”

He was losing you. You were going to rationalize your way out of this and he couldn’t let you. He was overcome with an irrational need to get you to stay, to sleep curled up in his arms, to cement the decision that you were real, that this was it. That he was enough for you. That you wanted this as much as he did. He was pushing and he knew it but he couldn’t stop himself. He needed to know. He was in so deep here. He needed to know that you were in it too, barely keeping your head above water, sinking into the depths with him.

“No. Look, the whole reason you wanted to wait was because you didn’t want Eli getting his hopes up just for this to all end. You didn’t want him to see this as serious with him already assuming things. But this is serious and this isn’t ending. Right?”

“I mean, I don’t plan on it but…”

“No. No buts,” he insisted, hands sliding down your arms to wrap around your hands, holding them against him. Bowing his head, he brought your knuckles to his lips, brushing a kiss over them. “This isn’t ending. I’m not going anywhere. Do you plan on going anywhere?”

“Well no…”

“So then why not?”

“I don’t know. I mean, do you really think it’s appropriate for us to share a bed with the boys in the house?”

“Did you share a bed with your husband when Eli was home?”

“That’s different and you know it.”

“Why? Because we’re not married? Marriage is a piece of paper, honey. It’s a piece of paper that doesn’t mean anything because it can be torn in half and discarded so easily. I love you. You love me. The boys want this to happen. I’m not saying let’s get down and dirty.” He grinned devilishly, his cheek running over yours. “Not that I don’t want to. But would it really be inappropriate to sleep in the same bed? When we move in together, we’ll be sharing a bed, right?”

You pulled back, a look of sheer anxiety across your face, “When we…when we move in together?”

“I mean, eventually, right? That would be the logical next step. It’s silly to keep two houses when we spend most of our time together. I mean, whenever we’re apart all I can think about is the next time I get to have you in my arms. I know it may seem soon but really, we’re the only ones who get to decide what soon is. And the way I feel about you, I know it got intense pretty fast but…”

His word died in his throat as he felt the shift in you. Your chest rose and fell rapidly against his, your heart beating a rapid tempo against his skin. Releasing your hands, he grabbed your face, attempting to get your eyes to focus on him. But they were glazed, wide, staring off into nothing as you descended into a full blown attack, an attack he’d caused.

“Hey, hey…you’re okay, baby. Look at me. Come on. Just breathe with me, honey,” he urged.

You were gasping, small little squeaking sounds emitting as you struggled to take in air. Jesus Christ. What had he done? Exactly what he’d sworn he wouldn’t do. He’d pushed you, ran up behind you and shoved you off the ledge before you were ready. And now you w were free falling as he ran underneath you, trying to catch you but failing.

“Shit! Baby, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. You don’t have to spend the night. We’re not moving in together. It’s okay. I’m moving too fast. I do it all the time and I’m sorry. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Just breathe for me, please.”

But you wouldn’t. You couldn’t. He grabbed onto your hands again. They were ice cold. Your skin was damp, clammy, a sheen of sweat coating your forehead and upper lip. And then you were shaking, trembling and he grasped your arms, pulling your body against his but it wouldn’t stop as you wheezed.

This had gone on for too long. It wasn’t stopping. You weren't coming back down. Your breathing was only getting worse if that was even possible. He had to do something.

“Boys!” he screamed as he cradled your quivering body against him. “Call 911!”

Chapter 17

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imyouslnot · 2 years

Text

Conrad fisher

Insufficient

beginning of summer, everything was going well, you had a perfect life or at least you thought you did. His family was getting along well despite the problems between the uncles after his grandfather's bite,you are in an "almost relationship" with the boy of your dreams and everything was perfect.

But not everything is perfect,With summer arriving automatically comes his biggest nightmare: the Conklin Or rather Isabel Conklin the girl you think is perfect.

Their almost relationship is none other than Conrad, the dream boy. You always knew that Conrad and Belly's bond was always big, VERY big actually, and it scared you.The fear of losing the love of your life scares you, the fear of being exchanged for someone better than yourself, assuring you that there is no one better than you, you always have that insecurity with someone.

Jere was your best friend for a while and that brought you some information that belly is in love with conrad, he was always just like you and you knew you had to be reciprocal even though jeremiah said he only saw her as steve's little sister.

The day before your first kiss with conrad you heard the conklin family was on the way and it made you nervous but never let it show. You were on your way to the fisher house Susannah had asked you to befriend Belly, you wanted to decline but couldn't, she had asked for you right away, not for any other girl for you and how would you say no?

Just around the corner, the beach house was visible, huge, you walked for a few seconds and you could already see a car, probably Susannah's best friend or belly's mother, whatever.

when arriving at the huge house you saw the four, jere, conrad, steve and belly, they looked happy. You made a sound in your throat to get their attention, conrad was looking at you confused, with a strange face actually everyone was.

- What are you doing here? - that were the words of conrad rather rude

- I called her. - Susannah appeared at the door with an infectious smile on her face.

You watched her walk up to you and give you a side hug

- So Belly Steve, this is Y/N.Y/n these are Steve and Belly - She spoke introducing each other.

- Hi - was all you managed to say other than sending them a smile.

Jere pulled his mom a little and you could hear him asking

- Mom? why did you call her - He asked with some trepidation

- I called her to chat with Belly and maybe make friends - Susannah pronounced with a smile - And who knows, you might be friends again, now go there and be polite - She gave him a little push.

- So Y/N, are you from here? - belly started to bring up the subject

- Yes and no, I was born in New York but I've lived here for as long as I can remember.

After a while you were in the belly room, helping to unpack, after the boys had thrown it in the pool to cover any ritual between them.

- How long have you known the fisher? - she asked you

- A few years ago, I always heard about them but I hadn't really met them, as time went by I ended up bumping into Jere at a party and since then we've become best friends That was until he stopped talking to me on the networks and asked me out. So we just don't talk anymore

- Wow, I never imagined that from jere, he's so cheerful with everyone and never forgets about anyone unless he's hungover but you never looked for him?

- I sent a few messages but I didn't get back to him, he didn't answer any so he probably didn't want to know - I said honestly - and what's it like being with 3 boys? - she widened her eyes - Not literally staying, I mean what is it like to live with them? - quickly reworked.

- It's normal, there aren't many things, usually I can never go out with them.

We spent the whole afternoon talking, she was nice, very nice, that explains the way conrad looked at her not only he jere him too, she is anyone's dream girl.

It was almost night and I was thinking about going to the "fire party" but I didn't want to go alone, so I called her, at least I have someone to talk to.

"the boys would never let me go" - she said with a sad smile

- and who said they need to leave anything? - I said with a mischievous smile on my lips.

And off you two went, the party. Right when we arrived Steve the super protective brother or at least he tries to be a slight tantrum and I just said I'd take care of her even though she's not a kid anymore.

- why did you bring her - says conrad getting up from where he was with a girl - hey she wanted to come and I didn't want to come alone, so we came together - I replied.

- Just take care of her - he said pleading with his eyes

And that's when I realized I was the intruder, the way Conrad looked at her was beautiful, he really likes her and made that clear. She likes her too it's plastered on her face all the time

She spent the afternoon telling me about him, and the sparkle in her eyes was clear, there was no way to hide it.

They really liked each other and didn't assume, jere had said that he looked at her like a child but apparently it's not like that anymore or maybe it never was.

Conrad was worried, he looked at her all the time, maybe because she is beautiful, and has a beautiful smile and is all perfect. One thing I know I'm not, not like her and I know I won't make him worried,that only belly can do, not even the girl he was with at the beginning of the party can do that.

I was near the water, thinking, when I felt the presence of someone. I knew it was him, I so wanted it to be anyone but him.

- What are you thinking - He asked

There is if he knew everything that's going on in my head right now, everything.

- Belly - I replied with a sigh

- Belly? O que ela? - He questioned looking at me deeply

- She's beautiful, she has a beautiful smile, she's fun and...

- Which is?

- And it's perfect for you conrad.

- What? what do you mean by that?

- I noticed the way you look at each other, your concern for her, I realized that your world is her and that you are happy when you see her, there is always a little smile on your lips when you see her, that's obvious. And I know you don't look at me like that, and you won't worry about me so much. - I stopped, analyzing his eyes upon hearing my words.

- Y/N no no, that's wrong, I'm not in the mood for belly, I don't look at her like you say, I... - he was nervous, he didn't know what words to use.

- Conrad? I just don't want to delude myself ok? yours is her, I know that and I know there's no use denying it.

I kept walking, knowing he was standing still.

- Y/N I love you. - he said in a low voice and you just kept walking knowing it was better to leave him.

#the summer i turned pretty #conrad fisher #jeremiah fisher #belly x conrad #conrad x reader #jeremiah x reader #steve conklin #bellyconrad

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stilldancewithyou · 2 years

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I love your Belly&Conrad posts! I recently watched the show, then read the books & now have one of the worst book/show hangovers I've had in years! I'd love to hear your thoughts on some bits from the books that I'm trying to figure out, like in the book 3, towards the end, C tells B he still loves her, he never stopped and thinks she knows it, that she has know in all along, but B denies it. What do you think Jenny's trying to tell us here? This part somehow doesn't feel entirely true (1/2?)

There was sm tension between B&C in book 3, when they go shopping, like they just fit perfectly! :D Not sure what to think of Jer when he apparently knew C would always be first, that B would never be able to completely let him go, and he still asked her to marry?? Like this proposal was an act of desperation to keep her and make up for cheating? And insisting he wanted all of her while knowing she couldn't let C go completely, somehow came off as possessive/dishonest of his motivation. I also have some questions about Jer's proposal and wedding rush.. Really seems like they both (?) were trying to erase C from their lives, or like he said, make it an excuse for B not to go back after C. I do believe they loved each other in a way (Jer probably loved her more ), but like the whole narrative gives this impression that it's not quite right, although B keeps convincing herself... sorry for the many messages, just have so may thoughts still... :D

There are a lot of bits in the end of the 2nd/beginning of the 3rd book that confuse me too, but I think Belly kept denying that Conrad loves her and that she loves Conrad because she didn't want to admit that she was wrong and kind of overreacted in book 2. I think she kinda knew it wasn't all on him and she was partly to blame for the way things went down between them, but she was clinging to the "he treated me terribly" narrative because she didn't want to have to admit "I treated him terribly too". The ironic thing is that Belly does know that he loves her, and she has known it the entire time, but she's denied it the entire time. It all goes back to what happened in book 2 when she went with Jeremiah to find Conrad and everything that happened in the car and the motel...which the 3rd book calls you back to, because Conrad keeps saying "that night at the motel I fucked up" and it haunts him. I think they both knew they were both in love with each other at the point, but since he kept saying he didn't and was choosing to leave her with Jeremiah, she didn't push the issue (that part in the motel, when Jere is asleep and she's pretending to be asleep and Conrad says "earlier, when I said I never wanted you, I didn't mean it". if she had rolled over and had a conversation with him and been like "i'll always be in love with you" things would have gone different. but she ignored him so he decided it was better to let her go). I think at the end of the third book she knew she had also chosen to go with Jeremiah, as much as Conrad chose to let Jeremiah have her. I feel like their thing was denying that they're in love even though they both know it. but I kind of loved that and the angst it added. Also, I think she started to realize through all the time spent with Conrad planning her wedding to Jeremiah (the shopping, the peaches) that she was always and would always be in love with Conrad, and that she did not love Jeremiah like that, but she was afraid of hurting Jeremiah and she felt like it would end up hurting everyone else too. (because remember when she and Conrad broke up, Laurel was like it's not just about you guys, Susannah is gonna be hurt too, and I think that made Belly feel like breaking Jeremiah would break the whole family).

To your second point- thank you for pointing this out, because literally yes! this bit has always been my biggest struggle with Belly x Jeremiah...the dude is straight up like "I think I'm in love with her. She's in love with Conrad, always will be, and will always choose him over ANYONE, she will always go back to him, he will always be first for her...BUT IDC I'm gonna go after her and confuse her anyway, and while I'm here why not propose????" I was like...WHAT. when I read that whole part about how he KNOWS Conrad is always first for her and the one she loves. The fact that Jenny wrote that and made a point to put it in there in Jeremiah's POV...because Conrad never really discusses Jeremiah and Belly and her love for Jere with the reader...so the fact that Jeremiah admitting to the reader that he knows this was put there by the author is just wild to me. And it's not just the fact that he knows and admitted all of that, he also knows she still currently loves Conrad and things are very unresolved with no closure between them, and he still thinks it's a good idea to get in the middle of that mess. I had a really hard time feeling bad for Jeremiah throughout the third book (at the end I was sad for him just with how that last conversation was written) because he knew this was going to happen. Like dude, you chose to rush things with her knowing she probably still loves Conrad and never got closure with him, and now you're mad because the thing you knew would happen all along happened??? What??? make it make sense. I got really mad at him when he was telling her how he wanted all of her and she wouldn't give it to him...yeah I understand how much that was hurting him but I didn't like that it was about the emotional connection and also the physical, and it seemed like it was kinda more upset about the sex thing...it was kind of a douche-y thing to say. I think he felt like if he was Conrad she would've given herself fully to him and that was the point of that whole conversation but it just rubbed me the wrong way (especially after him and his friends casually joked about him having sex with her and when he hooked up with Lacey in front of Conrad at the bachelor thing...I know they were drunk but drunk words are sober thoughts).

In regards to the proposal and wedding rush...it was a big mess and very confusing. I keep seeing people who haven't read the books saying "they get engaged/married in the third book?? they're way too young to get married that's crazy they're 19"...yeah, that's literally the whole point. It didn't make sense, was crazy, rushed, and too soon, they're way too young. No one they told was super excited/supportive at first (not even Steven!!!) and Belly's friends are even stunned at first and like girl wtf have you gotten yourself into. And none of the above has to do with Jeremiah, it's not that no one wants her to marry Jeremiah...they just don't want her to marry him right now. Which is where all of the problems arise. Belly is even asked why now? -and doesn't really have an answer. So you have to ask yourself...why do they feel they need to get married now? If they're so in love, can't they just be engaged until they graduate? I personally think the answer is that they know if they don't get married now, they never will- I think they kinda realized their relationship was falling apart and was not built to last, and the proposal was a band aid over a bullet wound. Also, the whole reason he proposed to her was as a way to prove to her he wouldn't "cheat" again, but I think also bc being married would mean he won't hook up with other girls and Belly won't go back to Conrad, and Jere seemed really desperate to keep her from Conrad- in the last chapter he even says to Belly "I won't be the reason you don't go to him", so I feel like he knew he was the only thing stopping her from going back to Conrad, and the proposal was at least partly about that. It's an interesting dynamic, bc Belly wanted to forget about/erase Conrad and Jeremiah wanted to erase Conrad from Belly's heart.

I stand by what I said above, the proposal and rushed wedding was a band aid over a bullet hole, and the funny thing is Conrad realizes something is off about the whole thing and thinks there must be some bigger reason for the wedding but he can't figure it out, so he gives them the benefit of the doubt that they're getting married bc of their love for each other. He was trying his best to be supportive and helping with the wedding bc he thought Belly was happy and it was what was best for both her and Jere, but when he finds out about the "cheating" scandal he kinda goes crazy, and when he tells Belly and she says she already knows Conrad realizes that they're only getting married to make up for the cheating, and that's when he breaks down and tells her he loves her and has always loved her all along. I think a big part of this is that Conrad and Jeremiah's dad cheated on Susannah, so Jere should have known better- he knows the hurt that it can cause firsthand, and I feel like that's what was running through Conrad's mind. He couldn't believe Jeremiah would treat Belly of all women the way their father had treated Susannah.

also- I think Jeremiah did love Belly, and I think she loved him too (but he loved her more). I also think feelings and emotions got very confused with the truth, and I think the loss of Susannah contributed to this- bc for Jeremiah, Belly is a huge part of his childhood and a big piece of Susannah (she's someone Susannah adored!) and someone who makes him feel safe, comfortable, and is simply familiar, a security blanket in a way, and so he was trying desperately to hold onto that last piece of Susannah. So losing Belly as a lover, as a friend, would be like losing his mother again. He didn't want to lose anyone else so he held on to Belly too tightly. idk, this is just my opinion and analysis based on what I've read.

#tsitp #the summer i turned pretty #we'll always have summer #it's not summer without you #conrad fisher #team conrad #jeremiah fisher #belly x conrad #belly x jeremiah #i'm so sorry it took me sooo long to answer this!\

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galaxygerm103 · 5 years

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More ramble ramble!

Okay so idk why some people in the BMC fandom think Christine is even remotely popular, the poor girl is never once seen with one friend. Not even one. For most the beginning of the show, she's seen alone and the only interactions she has are with Jeremy. Christine is just as unpopular as Jeremy(hell, Jeremy at least has ONE friend). They are literally in the same like...social class. You think maybe this is why Jeremy liked her? Other than just actually having a genuine crush on her. Like, Jeremy obviously does not like the popular girls that much(I mean Brooke is sweet but he clearly doesn't feel right dating her, even if it was fake and meant to attract attention). He likes Christine. Heck, he clearly reassures to the Squip that Christine is the only girl he wants.

I think maybe Jeremy realizes she's kind of alone and that's why he finally gets the guts to talk to her. Because he gets her and understands that kinda...need for companionship, romantic or not. So he finally signs up for the play. And the first time he feels a social disconnect(when Christine is joking about the swim team), he goed to leave. But Christine is fast to tell him she was joking, which gets him to stay. She wanted him to stay because she was lonely. The entirety of "I Love Play Rehearsal" is her rambling to this boy she just met about her passion. She's never had a person to ramble to before. This is kind of a first for her. And Jeremy just listens and takes it all in(also his legs are crossed during the entire song but I think you are smart enough to figure out why). This is kind of the connecting moment between these two. Because Jeremy is clearly a rambler from the beginning of "More Than Survive". He literally rambles to himself about the option of walking or taking the bus to school. Something so insignificant to others, but not to him. Christine is rambling about play rehearsal, something to significant to her because it's her only place to shake loose any anxiety and just be herself.

And over the progression of the show, you see Jeremy only really be himself around two people. Michael and Christine. Aka the two most important people to him. And even still, he's sorta awkward around them both, and one of them is literally his childhood best friend so that says a lot. But on Halloween, when Jeremy doesn't know what to say and Christine tells him to "say what's on your mind", the first thing he does is replicate what she did at play rehearsal, and makes a weird ass noise. He remembered that little detail that seems kinda insignificant to others. In return to his noise, Christine makes a noise. And they just kinda make silly noises for a short while. This whole scene is Jeremy expressing he's a good listener. This is the first time since Jeremy got the Squip that we see the REAL Jeremy. And assuming he hasn't gotten as much time around Christine as he would like, this moment must be HUGE for him. So huge he gets the guts to ask Christine out. He finally asks this girl he's crushed on since, supposedly middle school(the mention of "you've known him since seventh grade" implies Christine has only been going to Middleborough schools since middle, and Jeremy's crush seems a long time standing so...plus Jere thought she was talking about him so it could imply he first saw her in seventh grade), and he sadly gets turned down. Note, the "Christiiiine" is brought back, and we haven't heard that melody since "Upgrade"(which I like to assume is a few weeks before Halloween due to the play being a day after Halloween and "you ignored me for weeks". Thank you Michael for giving me a time frame to work with). We haven't heard that little medley since Jeremy stopped being himself. That pining just kinda hid in the shadows.

Christine rejects Jeremy but in a really polite and sweet way. He asks her "aren't we friends?" In a rather panicked voice and she tells him that they are, but she feels she can't be in a relationship until she finds herself.

Also, before the events of "The Play", Christine tells Jeremy that the Squip sounds awful. This is when he realizes that the Squip is bad. Not when Michael told him. When Christine told him. Jeremy's eyes are opened up to reality becaude this girl he is so in love with, the girl who kindly rejected his confession, told him. This is when Jeremy becomes frantic to shut the Squip off.

But then he sees Christine get Squipped and I will say, his "No!" Is really emotional because his voice is cracky and full of worry and sadness for Christine because he doesn't want her to go through what he did. So he literally sacrifices the mental sanity of himself and all the other students JUST to save Christine. He didn't know all the Squips would shut off. And he wasn't ready to let Christine suffer so they could be together. He sacrificed his own happiness so she could be safe.

And Christine(along with Michael, Rich, and Jeremy himself)remembers what happened with the Squips and doesn't believe it to be ecstasy. She only knew for a brief moment what caused Jeremy to do the things he did and decides she needs to get to learn the real Jeremy.

She didn't go on the "date" with him because she had fallen for him. She went to lunch with him so she could get to know him. She didn't know Jake when they dated. And it was clear that was her first romantic relationship. This is her not making the same mistake twice. She isn't going to blindly date somebody again just because she thinks she likes them.

And Jeremy isn't gonna let somebody else tell him how he should get somebody to like him. Because he shouldn't have to make them like him. They should like him for himself if they're going to. So he's gonna allow Christine to learn who he really is. The first step to that is hanging out not during school. And lunch was the best idea Jeremy had.

Them having lunch together doesn't mean they end up together. Joe Iconis even said he didn't know if they did end up together. But he said it wasn't the ending for any of them.

((As for the kiss, platonic kisses exist okay. Can't say too much about that))

The point of this is

A) to prove these two are actually compatible

B) to prove that they both grew as characters over the course of the show and are learning from their mistakes

C) to prove Jere actually DOES like Christine

And

D) to prove that Cheere/Stage Dorks is actually very much plausible and possible in the realm of canon.

Thank you for reading this overly long ramble about Jeremy Heere and Christine Canigula

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playertwosquiped · 5 years

Text

Well if I’m gonna be up at 1:30 in the morning while hitting mental walls with all the replies sitting in my drafts.. I’m just gonna... ramble under the cut about Halloween because BOY do I have thoughts about that night for Jere.

TW for the uh Thing With Chloe you know what I mean and I’m gonna talk at LENGTH

OKAy, just right from the start, the SQUIP makes him be late, and he feels SO BAD about it because it made Brooke think he stood her up. HE’S!! SUCH!! A!! SWEETHEART!! Like, like. From the very start he was concerned about Brooke and didn’t want to hurt her (”don’t worry about the guilt you feel, Just take a breath, And seal the deal”!!!!!! HE WAS GUILTY AT THE IDEA OF USING BROOKE TO GET POPULAR I WANT TO CRY).

But he cared. he cared so so much about Brooke. He didn't need to care about her. Before the SQUIP they’d never really interacted (”I’ve literally never seen him before”). And the fact that he still still felt bad about hurting her even a little bit by Halloween after he’d had the SQUIP for a little while I’m just,,,,, my heart. He’s so sweet. He genuinely cared about Brooke and I will fight anyone who disagrees.

Anyway.

...

Chloe. YEeeeeeesh. How many times did he have to say NO CHloe for fucks sake. Like I’m not even gonna touch the fact that Chloe did that knowing he was dating her best friend, and just focus of her clear disregard for consent and the fact that she absolutely sexually assaulted Jeremy.

He said no many many times, even saying make it stop, though that was technically directed at his SQUIP (who fuckign said “I don’t understand the request” which GOD never have I wanted to strangle a fictional character so much) he said it out loud. She FUCKING KNEW he wasn’t consenting. And she didn’t care.

Like maybe no clothes actually came off (though tbh that was at least partially because Jake showed up) she still kissed him non-consensually, and, uh, humped him on the bed while she had him pinned. Sure, she wasaf doing it to be loud and make it sound like she was having sex but Y I K E S .

There’s a reason my Jeremy is so many levels of NOT COMFORTABLE with her even post-SQUIP. He just... pretends to be for Brooke’s sake, and avoids being alone with her at all costs.

He actually picks up a lot of issues from that. He can’t stand being pinned at all, even if it’s by accident, and a lot of his terror at losing control comes from that moment because that is the most traumatizing thing the SQUIP did to him by a long shot (though basically EVERYTHING the SQUIP did is awful in some way. Spending a couple of months being manipulated and abused by a voice literally in his head was bad; it’s just that as far as Singular Events go, that one was the worst).

Also just, you know, the physical stuff in relationships becomes terrifying for him and any future partners would have to be comfortable with going slow on that because yikes.

How many times have I said yikes dgdsf too many. yikes yikes yikes.

Anyway.

He ran to hide in the bathroom (on the verge of a meltdown because that just happened and this is the first time in a couple months that he hasn’t had the SQUIP managing his emotions for him) where... Michael was.

Okay. One more yikes.

He went in for a hug. He went in for a hug. This boy was just assaulted, is freaking out because he barely had coping skills before the SQUIP, but after having it for a while all but lost what little ability to cope he had, and he sees his best friend for the first time in months and he just bhjhbhj immediately tries to hug Michael. He missed him.

Because, and this is a digression, he never wanted to leave Michael behind. He was just at the point in his own head where he felt like anything he wanted was the wrong thing to want. So he went against every instinct and feeling of his to listen to the SQUIP. And you know, the only reason he wasn’t constantly miserable from that is because the SQUIP was blocking those feelings out. This isn’t a justification for what he did, just... an explanation. He needed therapy not an supercomputer sddfgdgfbv

He got so upset with Michael in that conversation because he was a mess and he had come into this bathroom to hide in the tub and cry and he knew he wouldn’t be feeling this if the SQUIP was on. He was so desperate to have the thing managing his emotions still that any suggestion of getting rid of it was unthinkable, despite what had just happened.

So he said whatever it took to get away from Michael in that moment. The only reason he didn’t have a complete breakdown that night at least not at the party was because Christine managed to cheer him up, and even that didn’t last. Obviously. Because he was drowning and desperate for this to have all been worth it (especially after he had just called Michael a loser and left him alone; something he was VERY GUILTY about immediately after it happened; but he was too anxious to backtrack and apologize) he asked her out right then at a moment that- had he been in his right mind- even he would have known was probably a bad idea. Because he was desperate.

And then he was dragged home by the SQUIP. Even with the SQUIP back on to manage his emotions, the night caught up to him and he cried himself to sleep.

#I'll be honest I can't keep different versions of the script straight so my interpretation of ... everything is just a blurred amalgam #of what I remember and headcanons to fill in the blanks #[ 🎭 The Problem has Always Been Me | Headcanons 🎮 ]#started writing this at 1:30 finished writing it at 2:17 gfdfgnnd

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toldnews-blog · 5 years

Photo

New Post has been published on https://toldnews.com/world/anna-delvey-the-trial-of-new-yorks-fake-heiress/

Anna Delvey: The trial of New York's fake heiress

Image copyright BFA

Just how far can you get in the New York City socialite scene without a real fortune of your own?

Incredibly far, in the case of Anna Delvey – real name Anna Sorokin – who allegedly tricked the city’s elite into thinking she was a billionaire heiress. She reportedly hired a private jet, went to all the best parties, and threw cash at everyone she saw – a $100 (£78) tip if you carried her bag or were her Uber driver.

Yet, ultimately, her time at the top was short-lived. And it unravelled spectacularly.

In real life, Ms Sorokin had no multi-million-dollar trust fund. According to New York Magazine, her father is a former trucker, who runs a heating-and-cooling business.

After her credit cards began to fail – repeatedly – and she was kicked out of the luxury hotels she lived in, other people were left to pick up the extortionate bills, according to the Manhattan District Attorney’s office.

Following a month-long trial, Ms Sorokin has now been found guilty of multiple offences, including stealing more than $200,000 – after racking up debts and fraudulently trying to secure major bank loans.

“As proven at trial, Anna Sorokin committed real white-collar felonies over the course of her lengthy masquerade,” District Attorney Cyrus Vance said in a statement announcing the conviction.

Ms Sorokin, who chose not to testify and pleaded not guilty, now faces up to 15 years in prison and will be sentenced on 9 May.

So how did this woman in her mid-20s allegedly cause financial chaos across a city, leaving people picking up her tabs in the US and beyond?

‘Faking it’

Anna Delvey came to New York City on a mission. At least that is what she told people.

She wanted to start an arts centre, with a chic Soho House ethos. She was considering calling it the Anna Delvey Foundation, according to New York Magazine, and she claimed to have lined up renowned artist Christo for the inauguration. For the venue, she had her eye on a six-floor space – 45,000 sq ft (4,200 sq m) – in Church Missions House, a prestigious, late 19th Century building, on the corner of Park Avenue and 22nd Street.

There is a certain lifestyle that goes with such bold claims – and she was living it.

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Speaking at the trial’s opening, defence lawyer Todd Spodek said: “Anna had to fake it until she could make it.”

He told jurors that Ms Sorokin was “easily seduced by glamour and glitz” when she saw how wealth – or the illusion of wealth – opened doors.

Image copyright Getty Images

Image caption Anna Sorokin (right), then known as Anna Delvey, at a fashion event at a New York hotel in 2014

According to court documents, Ms Sorokin represented herself as a German heiress with $60m in assets to try to get a loan of $20m for her foundation. She allegedly presented forged bank statements and would also deposit bad cheques, then withdraw the money before they bounced.

Prosecutors said that, while she never managed to secure millions, she did get a temporary $100,000 overdraft with City National Bank – based on forged proof of foreign assets – but she failed to repay it with a wire transfer, as promised.

Instead, they say, she went on a one-month shopping spree, spending $55,000 on “her upkeep at 11 Howard (a luxury hotel), high-end fashion purchases from Net-a-Porter and Forward by Elyse Walker, sessions with a personal trainer, Apple, and other personal expenses”.

Her lawyer said she never intended to commit a crime.

“In her world, this is what her social circle did,” he told the jury. “Everyone’s life was perfectly curated for social media. People were fake. People were phoney. And money was made on hype alone.”

How it unfolded

“Wannabe socialite busted for skipping out on pricey hotel bills”, read a July 2017 headline in the New York Post.

This was followed, in April 2018, by a confessional first-person piece in Vanity Fair by one of the magazine’s photojournalists, saying she had been hoodwinked by Ms Sorokin.

Rachel DeLoache Williams became a key witness in the trial. “I wish I had never met Anna,” she said in the courtroom during a tear-soaked testimony.

She said she had met her at Manhattan nightclub Happy Ending. She said Ms Sorokin held court with tales of her proposed arts foundation and then picked up the tab for a bottle of vodka.

They became friends. Ms Williams wrote in her article about being seduced by the apparent “glamorous, frictionless” lifestyle. She enjoyed going out for espresso martinis and fancy dinners. Anna usually paid, referring to her trust fund, and this culminated in her inviting Ms Williams on a trip to Morocco.

Ms Williams wrote: “Anna also invited her personal trainer, along with a friend of mine – a photographer – whom, at a dinner the week before our trip, Anna had asked to come as a documentarian, someone to capture video.”

Getty Images

Anna’s was a beautiful dream of New York, like one of those nights that never seems to end. And then the bill arrives.

The photo editor was a key witness in the trial. One of the counts of larceny was directly linked to her experiences.

She told how Ms Sorokin asked her to reserve a luxury, $7,000-per-night riad in Marrakesh, complete with three bedrooms, a private swimming pool and a dedicated butler.

She said it was always intended that Ms Sorokin would pay the bill, but when they came to check out, her credit cards did not work.

Put on the spot, Ms Williams ended up footing the bill for the entire trip, which, including extras, came to approximately $62,000 for a six-night stay. Sorokin was acquitted of the charge related to that bill.

The photojournalist said she was left in tears and suffering regular panic attacks, consumed by the stress of trying to retrieve the money.

“It was a magic trick,” she wrote at the conclusion of her story. “I’m embarrassed to say that I was one of the props, and the audience, too. Anna’s was a beautiful dream of New York, like one of those nights that never seems to end. And then the bill arrives.”

Though Ms Williams’ magazine article had had people talking, it was an an article in New York Magazine in May 2018, by journalist Jessica Pressler, that really blew the lid on the scandal. She interviewed various people who had come across Ms Sorokin, including a concierge, Neffatari “Neff” Davis, also in her mid-20s, who worked at the 11 Howard hotel.

Ms Davis said Ms Sorokin arrived at the newly opened Soho hotel like a whirlwind in April 2017, block-booking a deluxe room (around $400 a night). Gestures, such as allegedly paying a personal trainer $4,500 in a cash advance, gave the impression she was wallowing in money. She also spent an inordinate amount of time at the concierge desk, said Ms Davis.

“Usually tourists just come in and ask how to get to the Statue of Liberty,” Ms Davis later told New York art and fashion magazine Paper. “But then, you have this girl who’s draped in Rick Owens, huge Céline glasses, messy hair, European accent, hundreds of dollars of bills on her and she’s literally just giving it to me, for my time?” She said she was used to being a makeshift therapist for guests travelling on their own. “It’s really none of my business where the money comes from,” she said.

But somewhere along the line, 11 Howard had made an apparent error of judgement. Staff had not got a credit card on file for Ms Sorokin. A major dispute broke out, according to Ms Davis.

However – perhaps surprisingly – Ms Sorokin did eventually settle that debt. She used the money from the City Bank overdraft.

In court, her lawyer said that his client “believed that she would have the funds to pay every single person back”. This was the crux of her case.

But jurors were not convinced.

An age-old ruse in a modern world

Many people have said this whole story is so specific to New York’s young socialites; how some people move in circles where they don’t know their friends’ surnames or background; how what matters most is the night out, the connections, the name-drops, the moment.

Ms Sorokin’s lawyer was keen to play into this. “Any millennial will tell you, it is not uncommon to have delusions of grandeur,” he said in court.

But writer and psychologist Maria Konnikova, the author of The Confidence Game – a book about con artistry – believes the case is full of elements that are both timeless and universal. “People love to think they are idiosyncratic, but this has happened over and over and over again, everywhere. Anna Delvey fit the New York scene, but this could have happened in London and even in a small town, if certain things were adapted.”

“Claiming to have an aristocratic edge is something that has been done for hundreds of years,” she says. “In the past, people would take out newspaper adverts, or befriend gossip columnists, or get photographed with the right people to bolster their credibility.”

But social media has made it easier, she concedes. “The barrier of entry is so much lower. We accept so much at face value, and we put so much out there.” Theoretically you should be able to vet people better, she says, but people are not being savvy.

Ms Sorokin was an active Instagram user, building a profile that made her look like a mover on the arts scene.

An arts story

Eileen Kinsella has been covering the story from the courtroom for New York-based art market website, Artnet.

She says it has made the art world sit up because there are always concerns about being duped. “You often don’t know who is on the other side of a transaction, and people do buy things they can’t afford,” she says.

She also says the city has been on a particularly high alert since a 2012 exposé of one of its most-established galleries – Knoedler – was exposed for selling fake works, supposedly by the likes of Jason Pollock and Mark Rothko. “People went to incredible lengths to make things seem authentic. It had huge implications.”

One of her Artnet colleagues, critic Ben Davis, also wrote a piece analysing the art content of Ms Sorokin’s Instagram account, noting her use of familiar hashtags, and posting works from major events: Frieze, Art Basel, the Venice Biennale and the openings at Pace Gallery.

It was, he concluded, a “thin tissue of celebrity and scene-y artists”. However, he added that the envy generated by social media has become a kind of currency of its own, and she had managed to create “crisply curated fabulousness”.

The ongoing season of scammers

The New York Magazine story about Ms Sorokin’s ruse was almost instantly optioned by Netflix, and linked with producer Shonda Rimes (Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal).

Ms Williams’ story is being adapted for HBO, with writer Lena Dunham working on the screenplay. Ms Williams has also signed a book deal with Simon and Schuster.

People have been captivated by the idea of Ms Sorokin’s apparent audacity, and yet also left with so many questions: Why? What was the end game? Where did she come from? How come no-one guessed sooner? (Some have said that her unkempt hair should have been a giveaway. People who live in hotels have time on their hands for daily blow-dries. In court, Ms Williams said there were, in hindsight, plenty of “red flags”.)

There were rumours that Jennifer Lawrence might take the title role in the adaptation, however, the Oscar winner was then signed up to play up another so-called “millennial scammer” – Elizabeth Holmes, the deep-voiced entrepreneur who fraudulently built up the Silicon Valley company, Theranos.

Ms Holmes’ story has become the subject of various documentaries and podcasts. As has that of Billy McFarland, who created the infamous and completely hollow Fyre Festival. Both characters have been the subject of hit documentaries.

Image copyright Patrick McMullan

Image caption Billy McFarland (R) with former Fyre Festival employee Andy King, who became a memorable character in the Netflix documentary

TV critic Scott Bryan, who co-hosts BBC Must Watch, says such documentaries have become huge hits because they explore social media stories in such depth.

“The documentary that followed then provided a great amount of context and insight into how it all spiralled out of control and viewers learnt so much more than what they did from the original news story, when they initially thought that they weren’t going to do so. When these documentaries are done well, they can be equally, if not more compelling, than when we heard the story first time round,” he says.

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In the case of Ms Sorokin, some already view her as a sort of antihero. They admire her for gaming a system that few people will ever have access to.

Last summer, T-shirts saying Free Anna Delvey became the ironic must-have for Brooklynites. New York Magazine – via its website The Cut – also also saw an opportunity to profit off the story it had made viral and added a range of slogan tees to its online shop: “Fake German Heiress”; “My other shirt will wire you $30,000”.

Marie Claire magazine also explored the outpouring of enthusiasm for the story. “No-one died as a result of her actions, she just made rich people look like idiots,” it said. However, it also recognised the story’s alleged victims, notably Ms Williams.

A trial as a fashion show

Anna Sorokin was held in New York’s notoriously tough Rikers Island jail ahead of her trial.

Image copyright AFP

Since her detention, she has not been Instagramming from the inside, according to jail officials. After her detention, one of her posts was tagged with a Rikers location (“Throwback Thursday to @LeCouCou_NYC”), but the authorities say someone else must be managing the account.

She appears, however, to still be curating her image. She reportedly told Ms Davis – who remains a friend – that she would prefer if Margot Robbie played her in the Netflix production.

And she also worked with a stylist, Anastasia Walker, to get her courtroom look during the trial.

She arrived in the court room on the first day dressed in stylish black glasses and a matching choker, and went on to parade a number of other designer outfits: Saint Laurent, Michael Kors, Victoria Beckham.

Ms Walker told Elle magazine the look was “mysterious chic“. It won plenty of headlines.

One day, the proceedings were delayed because of wardrobe troubles and Justice Diane Kiesel gave her a verbal dressing down. “This is unacceptable and inappropriate,” she said. “This is not a fashion show.”

Yet multiple media outlets pulled together galleries of her in-court fashion, and an Instagram account (@annadelveycourtlooks) has picked up a few thousand followers.

Ultimately her lawyer, Todd Spodek, was keen to paint this as New York story, referencing the Frank Sinatra song in his opening and closing statements.

“In a city that favours money and the appearance of money… they both created their own opportunities,” he said.

“She was creating a business that she believed would work and she was buying time,” he argued.

Anna Sorokin was a part of it. But not for long.

Guilty of multiple crimes

She was found guilty on Thursday of four counts of theft of services, three counts of grand larceny and one count of attempted grand larceny, and acquitted of one count of grand larceny and one count of attempted grand larceny.

She also declined a plea deal, which could have resulted in a more lenient sentence if she agreed to return to Germany, where she lived after the age of 16, having been born in Russia.

She now faces deportation to Germany because she has overstayed her visa.

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