It sucks being the only one in your house that can pick up the telephone at the moment.

you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

pathologic but it's a lost 1920s german expressionist film [id under cut]

[id:

image 1: a digital drawing of a fake poster, using bright colours and rough, painterly brushstrokes. the title, 'pest' (german for 'plague'), is written at the top in spiky black text. in the foreground a man dressed as a tragedian is staring intently at the viewer, his hands raised and splayed as if in horror. in the background, the town is framed against a red sky, with the polyhedron in yellow behind.

images 2 and 3: fake casting sheets for the film, with the names of the actors and the characters they are playing above a black-and-white portrait photograph of them. all the text is in german. in english it reads: 'Pest', a film by Robert Wiene Alfred Abel as Victor Kain Ernst Busch as Grief Lil Dagover as Katerina Saburova Ernst Deutsch as the Bachelor Carl de Vogt as Vlad the Younger Marlene Dietrich as the Inquisitor Willy Fritsch as Mark Immortell Alexander Granach as Andrey and Peter Stamatin Bernhard Goetzke as General Block Dolly Haas as the Changeling Ludwig Hartau as the Haruspex Brigitte Helm as Anna Angel Brigitte Horney as Maria Kaina Emil Jannings as Big Vlad Gerda Maurus as Yulia Lyuricheva Lothar Menhert as Georgiy Kain Asta Nielsen as Lara Ravel Ossi Oswalda as Eva Yan Fritz Rasp as Stanislas Rubin Conrad Veidt as Alexander Saburov and Tragedian Paul Wegener as Oyun Gertrud Welcker as Aspity

image 4: four digital sketches of set designs for various locations. all are strongly influenced by expressionist imagery, using extreme angles, warped perspective, and dramatic shapes. they are labelled 'street 1' (a street lined with houses), 'street 2' (a square with a lamppost and a set of steps), 'polyhedron exterior' (the polyhedron walkway), and 'cathedral interior' (the dais at the far end of the cathedral).

image 5: four digital drawings in a black-and-white watercolour style, showing fake stills from the film. all are similarly distorted and lit by dramatic lighting. the first shows katerina's bedroom, with katerina standing in the centre of the floor. the second shows the interior of an infected house. the third shows daniil staring out of the frame in horror, one hand on his head and the other raised as if to ward something off. the fourth shows an intertitle with jagged white text reading 'the first day' against a dark background.

end id.]

Whenever people who are entrenched in diet culture talk about how terrible chemicals are, I just want to whip out this:

The smalls <33

Oops. It's a second headcanon compilation!

Don't worry, the next one will be back to our normal schedule of regular text posts and not headcanons

Masterpost

i mean the tlt fandom is constantly doing the push and pull between "john is an evil mastermind" and "john is just a normal guy with normal flaws" and i think the truth is somewhere in between. john is a fascist who's destroyed countless planets and murdered countless people, but he's a complex three-dimensional fascist because tazmuir writes complex characters and because real-life fascists are complex and three-dimensional human beings. and i do think it's important when analyzing his character not to lose sight of the fact that john is a complex person who isn't at all omniscient, but it's equally important to remember that he did choose to nuke the earth and become the god of a fascist space empire and conquer planets. he didnt just stumble his way into it!

kind of weird that our national broadcaster didn’t stream or report on south africa’s arguments presented at the ICJ yesterday and yet today there was extensive live coverage of the case made by so-called israel

i love it when bad is very specifically a good roleplayer by giving other people good prompts. like casually bringing up wilbur now to tallulah. or when he put missa in the petting zoo. or all those times he Tormented the Lesbians so they could protect each other from him. its just so !!!! I love watching roleplayers be considerate of other roleplayers and gleefully hand over something they Know the other person's character can react to. i've seen cellbit do it, too (that time he handed his knife to bbh. oh my god). it's not a rare thing, and it's possible to be a good roleplayer without keeping that sort of considerate back and forth in mind, but its one of my favourite things to notice. foolish does it too, sometimes- i haven't watched him much, but i did take note of when he Made Sure to bring jaiden along with him on a cucurucho quest. and basically every interaction he had with bad when the eggs were missing. its just so so good

anyway i like never really know how to talk about this because i don't want to come off like i think i'm better than anyone else. i'm very much prone to my own bits of bitchiness and i'm sure i've said things on here that are contradictory, not fair, not thoughtful or not kind, but i really wish, broadly speaking, that we could talk about creative pursuits in a slightly gentler way. i think the constant flux of "he would not fucking say that" posts and condescending diatribes about the Right way to write something [a character, a type of story, etc] are so incredibly discouraging to new writers. you don't want to be someone's "he would not fucking say that," so you sit around and feel ashamed and scared to share your writing, afraid of ridicule. it sucks. i don't like it.

I've come to the conclusion that being assigned the fandom-mandated "sunshine character" is the worst possible fate a character could face

ideation

The thing is. Bad/gross food is rarely a DISH - when food is bad it's because it's been badly made, whether because of skills or available ingredients. but a dish p much only exists recognisably and has a name because someone likes at least one version of it.

which is to say. there isn't really a way of naming a dish, school of dishes or specific food culture and going EW ISN'T THIS DISH UNILATERALLY CONCEPTUALLY DISGUSTING without denigrating quite a lot of people.

like you don't have to like it in any form. but it's eaten and shared because it's good to a not insubstantial number of people when cooked right.

(and I don't really understand how you approach that with total incuriosity when it's a dish you haven't tried like. ARE rocky mountain oysters good? Maybe! I would very much eat some to find out!!!!)

this is actually something the British food poll did in a way the American ones I've seen haven't really - they described how the food they're imagining is, specifically, badly prepared (grey meat and veggies; unseasoned shepherd's pie). which is wildly tipping the scales by calling it British Food but. like. that is an on point definition of why that food is gross.

(this also applies to American chocolate, which like. Broad category but I think most of us understand this refers to low-cocoa high-sugar chocolate, probably with bucolic acid. so we are being invited to imagine Badly Made Chocolate not. the concept of chocolate)

personally I just think it's very rarely a good or funny idea to shittalk how gross any given food culture is. partly because food is important and culturally evocative for most people, partly because it's very...alienating? to be like WHO COULD EAT SUCH A THING? just because you wouldn't, and largely because to be frank it says more about you than about the food that you have so little imagination or curiosity that you can't imagine why a food might be enjoyable to folks who aren't you.

yes this includes jello salad, I would like to try it. ONCE. if it wasn't appealing to someone it wouldn't be so widespread.

actually I love Tentoo and he is the Doctor and it was the only ending for Rose that worked and it is a huge gift to be able to have the man she loves grow old with her, they were always heading for that, y'all be quiet. I 100% understand the angst but it's okay, they're okay, good ending-

@batcadillac and I were talking about which Ghouls we think know how to drive a car/drive during a road trip and this is what we came up with lol

Swiss: Can drive. He's pretty chill and smooth driver, but he doesn't ever signal, and somehow never gets hit. Takes really convoluted back ways to get places because he claims that, 'I know a way that's faster'. It has yet to be determined whether or not these 'shortcuts' are actually faster. Picks obnoxious radio stations when it's his turn that makes everyone groan, but he puts it on full blast because he thinks it's funny.

Rain: Cannot drive. He vehemently denies that it's because he's a little bit of a klutz, it's more that there are plenty of others in the pack who can, and why should he have to learn if he doesn't want to? He is a passenger princess and will not help with navigation or anything. More than likely he is asleep with his own little travel neck pillow and sleep mask.

Dew: Does not drive. He gets road rage on the driver's behalf, so the idea of him actually driving is too scary of a thought for the others to comprehend. One time he threatened to disembowel another driver for cutting them off. Actually incredibly good at navigation though, so he's usually riding shotgun. The others aren't even sure he actually knows how to drive, and whether he does or not is a moot point, because even if he can't, he's going to pretend like he can. Cumulus: Can drive but doesn't. She gets too much anxiety over it and will 100% cry about it. She almost had a full breakdown trying to merge onto a highway once, so she doesn't have to drive ever. She's is perfectly content in singing along to the radio or playing car games and is really good at heightening the groups morale when it comes to long car rides. Cirrus: Cannot drive. She never really bothered to learn since like Rain, she noticed that there are at least several others in the pack who can and actually like to drive, so what's the point? Unlike Rain though, she's not a passenger princess. She's a master at organization and timing. There's never a missed bathroom break or forgotten item on her watch. Sunshine: Can drive, but she is the most terrifying behind the wheel. Just because she can, doesn't mean she should. She is a speed demon and wants to see how fast she can go. She weaves in and out of traffic because, 'it's fine, I'm not gonna hit anyone'. She has driven Copia exactly once because he almost had a heart attack. Mountain: Can drive. One of the only Ghouls who isn't Multi that can drive a car with ease. Due to his abilities on the drums, the multi-tasking of driving a car is fairly easy in comparison. He is the safest driver and drives calmly and obeys all of the traffic laws. The only unfortunate thing is that he can get physically uncomfortable pretty fast since it's difficult to find a car that fits his height well. Aether: Can drive, but he's not a huge fan. Being a Quintessence Ghoul, with a lot of cars on the road, it can be hard to block out the Quintessence energy coming off of everything, so he has to concentrate really hard to be able to drive as safely as he wants to. Still will drive in a pinch if someone is too tired, but he's really tense and it can lead him into getting a migraine if he does it for too long. Unfortunately there can't be any music or really any conversation over quiet talking, because he might actually implode from sensory overload. Aurora: Can drive. She may be tiny and have to pull the seat all the way forward, but she's one of the best drivers in the pack. Even with her small stature, she loves driving big cars when she gets the chance. She loves being able to see everything, and the actual feeling of driving is pleasant for her. More often than not, besides Mountain, she's the pick for first driver. She will drive until Cirrus tells her that she needs to take a break, but she usually will be the one to volunteer for a second driving shift. Phantom/Aeon: Can't drive. He's the youngest in the pack, so it really isn't expected of him? He also gets too excited about all of the things they pass by, so his distractibility isn't really wanted when it comes to driving. However, he is the keeper of the snacks and drinks and he loves that job. Rations everything out perfectly, and knows what snacks go best together. He is the best at any of the car games and loves to play them with Cumulus.

Hey! So I've been following you since you posted a lot about good omens in 2019ish? I remember you talking about wing fics vividly, but I just want to ask:

How are you doing after season 2?

Good! I enjoyed season 2, and I look forward to seeing how things resolve in season 3.

I think there are a lot of folks upset about various things, for various reasons, a lot of which boil down to "the season didn't go how I wanted it to/thought it should go" or "the season didn't end wrapped up neatly like S1 did." Neither of which, imo, are fair judgments of a season that a) isn't that person's story and b) was meant to be a bridge not an ending. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, of course, and to their feelings, but I do wonder how many have taken honest assessment of those feelings and opinions.

In my opinion, it's unfair to claim a story is bad JUST because it didn't do what you wanted it to do. It's not a bad story just because characters didn't act how you predicted or wanted, either. Some of the responses I've seen hinge almost entirely on "but canon didn't do what fanon/I decided is best" usually with the caveat of "before I even saw the season" and that's... ignoble at best. It's fair to criticize poor storytelling, but I feel like you have to have the whole story, or most of it, to do that, and we don't have that. We're actually smack in the middle of the story, by my judgment.

This season was never meant to be The Whole Story, we have known for a long time that there is a season 3 planned (whether or not it's ever able to come to fruition is a separate issue, it has been planned since a long time ago). As such, I don't think it's fair at all to the story to be angry that the season didn't stop at a nice, neat, happily-ever-after, because this isn't the end of the story.

To quote one of my favorite authors, Peter S. Beagle: "Things must happen when it is time for them to happen. Quests may not simply be abandoned; prophecies may not be left to rot like unpicked fruit; unicorns may go unrescued for a very long time, but not forever. The happy ending cannot come in the middle of the story."

They cannot have a happy ending until they've fixed the problems, and even before the end scene there, problems abounded. The unicorns are still unrescued. It's still the middle of the story.