choking growth

slow progress is still progress- that's what people keep telling me. i know there's truth in that, and i know they're just trying to help. so i bite my tongue behind gritted teeth and thank them as politely as i can. 

but it's been years of work and very little to show for it, in the long run. it's embarrassing, holding up hands made of greenery among fields of glorious florals. look, i say. look. i've accomplished something, finally. but then someone laughs; silly girl. ivy isn't a flower, no matter how prettily it can bloom. didn't you know it's just another weed? 

so i tug on the vines. rip them out of the soil, sending clumps of dirt flying in the process. i put in the work, but no matter how hard i try, i can't seem to make a dent. it's everywhere, and i'm drowning in it. and i feel so stupid for ever once thinking it could be beautiful. how could i not see the way it was strangling everything else? including me. 

The bunny guy coming to fobo to see if it’s  suitable for kids is so funny bc imagine you go to do an inspection and find multiple overcrowded breeding pits, a crack slicer, random shit everywhere, and a shady ass family dynamic where one guy kills horses he thinks are useless and the other guy beat your ass in a chess game and says you owe him child support.

It’s so redneck coded

You really didn't think that one through huh?

idk if im sobbing, wheezing, or choking on my tea <3

cleo sertori had a fear of swimming since she was a child and nobody considered for a second that getting stranded on a boat in the middle of the sea then falling into a cave system where she had to swim through subterranean water tunnels to the ocean where she had to tread water until a s&r team found them would be traumatic and exacerbate her fear into full aquaphobia

secretly becoming a mermaid helped her get over her fear but to everybody else her being cagey about the pool party and washing the dishes makes 100% sense when they stop for a moment and consider she’s probably terrified

I called this Rosé themed so many times, and then I remembered Pickles's vineyard from that one episode, so I just had to add the grapes to the background.

The quote (as well as the pose) comes from Golden Girls' last season (7th), from Blanche and Rose. Here it's now Pickles and Toki talking.

This is my first time trying out red eyelashes for Pickles. I love it.

Thinking about them... designs... silly..

honor this. honor that. JAIME HOW ABOUT YOU GET A FUCKING JOB. do some manual labor get some dirt under your nails. have your dad yell at you because you’re not holding a flashlight right. fucking pave a drive way pussy. work in 90 degree weather with the sun beating down on you. work a blue collared job jaime lannister. stop with this honor bullshit.

it probably says something about me that all my dream jobs involve working with animals or corpses (<- works in retail)

Another woodland flannel baby quilt! This one took a little less than four hours from start to finish, including ironing and cutting out the pieces

People can unquestionably be deeply weird about food (see: recipe bloggers who are more about conspicuous consumption than actually good recipes; people who leave comments on recipe blogs about how fruit or god forbid carrots are unhealthy because - checks notes - they contain too much sugar; tr*dwives trying to politicize photos of bread; Silicon Valley guys selling fad diets). I find this as annoying as anyone (v possibly I find it more annoying, as a person who likes to cook!). However I also find it annoying when people act as if the act of cooking elaborate (or even not-so-elaborate) meals is in and of itself something weird and snobbish. Cooking is like the single most accessible hobby bro. The end product is food and you kinda need that to live, and also it’s often cheaper to make things yourself assuming you can afford the time cost. “God save us from people who make pasta sauce from scratch, why would anyone do this” well you see, sometimes people have hobbies. Sometimes people enjoy the process of creation as much as the thing itself, even. Sue me for finding joy in the stuff I’m compelled to put in my face to stay alive I guess

Love this interview... I have been semi-checking in on Zawe's journey since before certain stans were feeling some kinda way about her recent familial additions. I do for certain Black actors/creators especially, who seem to be moving in interesting ways in entertainment/film media...

-A remnant from a period when I used to go to screenings and blog about films (and was published a few times in a major national newspaper)... So, I knew of Zawe through the grapevine of her mentorship, i.e. she is the reason why Rege Jean Page of Bridgerton fame got to work in U.S. markets, as she sponsored him. And she is known, as one of those "good eggs" who will be accessible and help/advise especially young actors of color. ...But, I have some other stuff to say. This isn't about proving that she's an amazing human being. It's about a certain brand of misogynoir that some of these people far beneath her in self-knowledge, self-love, and just plain grown-ass-woman-personhood...keep letting fly in what they *think* are compliments, but actually are just trite microaggressions. Saying things like "as long she makes [T-blank H-blank] happy then she's alright" as if he's the centered human and her attachment renders her worthy somehow. Babies, as long as SHE'S happy. Yall. He's marrying up.

WAY UP and the fact that he knows this? Actually elevates him. She's been there.

She tells a story in the above interview that reminds me of Uzo Aduba's anecdote about her name , - of an incident when she was called to an early job (at 6!) and someone there said she wasn't pretty because of her gap and her Ugandan mother took her on past this person and into the room, ANYWAY.

... She learned a specific self-knowledge and self-love, that is necessary in very white western spaces that constantly pressures a narrow sense of worthiness and beauty, especially from Black women, something a lot of these small-minded stans don't even have a notion of seeing beyond. Zawe is biracial, and her features, aside from her skin tone are very African. So while she benefits from colorism, featurism is something I've seen those bigoted stans, pick on as well. She knows those features are what makes her beautiful and knew that, w/o and before her partner saw that too. And people who aren't blind narrow-minded ignoramuses can *also* see that. This is why I assert the fact of featurism needing to be in the conversation of light/dark privilege conversations. Lips, nose, gap, and even the set of her eyes are ethnic beauty markers within quite a few spaces in the Black African diaspora... My mom was an absolute stunner because of her gap.

Even the old school white model Lauren Hutton got there because of her gap. Uzo Aduba, who I have already mentioned has a deeper skintone and has similarly large round striking eyes, gap, and a non-pinched-nose *rightly* played Glinda in NBC's production of The Wiz a few years back, with Dorothy saying she's so beautiful *because* of those features, not despite them as a very narrow white-washed gaze would wrongly assert.

And while we're here that includes sizes and shapes too. I'm saying your boy is enjoying all that plush. A lot of yall need to read or reread Maya Angelou's Phenomenal Woman, for comprehension.

Anyway... All this to say I know Zawe is and will be fine regardless.

P.S. Maya Angelou *also* had height, and gap and was very much known for her beauty/magnetism as a woman when she was alive. :

if i do not get good sleep tonight i am going to have a Woman Moment so severe i will end up in jail

I don’t think I mentioned it here but…Koa is also making the big move across the pond and coming to France in December!!

peak brain of me yesterday to call antis and the current state of fandom an HOA. not only because it fits but because it gives a more tangible, real quality to it. Fandom is a neighborhood and we all have our own homes in it. My yard doesn't pass inspection. My house is bright and colorful and not to the HOA's tastes. They can tell me to change it but legally they don't have a leg to stand on

You know - the Revolution moral of "sometimes the adults won't do what's necessary, so sometimes you have to be the one to step in. Maybe you're the adult now" gets a bit... muddled... by the fact that it's also about "haha imagine Chloé as mayor even though she's 14? Oh look finally her father stepped in and put his foot down".

I've been paying so much attention to David that I saw Georgia and thought "mhmm yeah that's gold, really pretty" but then I realized that my eyes keep flicking over to David on their own, so I cropped him to make it easier to see how absolutely stunning she is.

And I know she didn't have outfit changes and was wearing the same thing since 10am, but she's really out here trying to kill me just as much as David.

The sleeves, Georgia!! The pleats! The twisty thing in the middle and the draping and the GEORGIA HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO COPE WITH THIS (aside from confirming that I don't have enough of that gold fabric from like three years ago left in my stash to start draping it)