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shaynetoppsfuturewife · 1 year

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Eat It or Yeet It: Guy's Night

It’s call time, the crew has all gathered on the set for Eat It or Yeet It, Garrett, dressed like a poker dealer, is setting up his care station, while a set assistant adds the final touches to his desk like area. Cameramen and various other crew members are setting up and checking equipment.

The table has been changed from the normal set design, the warn yellow tablecloth replaced with a dark red, poker cards and chips scattered over the top. Prepared for today’s theme, ‘Guy’s Night.’

Spencer is the first of the five victims to arrive, with an open laptop in hand,

“How early am I?” He picks the far left seat in front of Garrett,

“Not early, right on time,” Garrett answers with a quick check of the time.

“So early.” Spencer chuckles, looking at whatever work he’s been doing on his laptop and returning to it.

“Pretty much.” Tommy agrees, walking into the room with a tray of mocktails. “But it means you get first pick of your drink.”

“Oh, whatcha got?” Spencer looks around the laptop as Tommy carefully puts the tray down.

“Now I do want to clarify that these are mocktails, though we’ll pretend otherwise.” Tommy lifts the first drink off the tray “The Capone. Whiskey, vermouth, and Campari.” A small drinking tumbler is placed down on the table, a rich orange liquid with an orange peel twist inside. Next, he picks up a martini glass with a light yellow colour, and a cherry somehow seated on top. “The Casino, gin, maraschino, lemon juice and orange bitters.” Ian quietly walks in, taking the rightmost chair without interrupting Tommy’s explanation.

“And in this coupe glass, is a Corleone cocktail, gin, Moscato, grapes, lemon juice, orange bitters and sugar syrup. Not gonna lie, I kinda want this one.” Tommy lifts a coupe glass with a soft yellow-green liquid and a singular skewered grape. “Monty Carlo, good ole whiskey and bitters.” He shifts a whiskey glass, half full of fake ice and an amber liquid, and a twist of lemon skin balanced over the lip. “And finally, the Godfather” The last glass also has fake ice, “scotch and amaretto.”

“The Monty Carlo please,” Spencer answers,

“Godfather sounds perfect for me.” Ian takes the glass and puts it down in front of himself. “And if you want the Casino you might as well take it.” Tommy gives the tray to the art assistant, taking his own drink and placing it beside Spencer.

“Colours for today. Spencer red, Tommy blue.” A production assistant walks around with the bibs. “Ian, Yellow as preferred.” The last two are just placed on the stools.

“I know!” Damien and Shayne’s arrival is loudly preceded by loud booming laughter.

“Sorry, we’re late!” Damien hurries his best friend along, noticing that the other three of Garrett’s victims have arrived.

“Still beat Noah,” Spencer speaks up, setting his laptop aside to put his bib on and get mic’ed up. A sound assistant passing out microphone packs to everyone.

“Do you want the middle?” Damien offers,

“Aww hell no,” Shayne answers, picking up the green bib and taking the seat beside Tommy, leaving Damien the purple bib.

“And your mocktail choices are the Capone or the Casino.”

“I’ll be Al Capone.” Shayne takes the drink Tommy offers,

“Does this mean I’ll take the house?” Damien asks as the Casino is put before him.

“You can have the big bite,” Shayne answers with a shrug, trying to hold in laughter.

“Oh, maybe not.” The attempt fails, Shayne laughing as the realisation sinks in.

“It could be good!” Garrett calls,

“Or it might not be,” Damien responds, shaking his head.

“Alright, just waiting on Noah then we can start.” One of the producers speaks, clearing the crew from the set now that they’re all set up.

“I hear my name.” Noah strolls in late with an iced drink, (Starbucks, for the meme).

“Right on time,” Ian calls back with a smile, stopping any of the slightly grumpier responses from the crew who had actually been on time.

“Oh sweet, what are we drinking?” Noah takes a sip of his drink while eyeing up those on the table.

“Yeah, do we get some?” Garrett asks, an art assistant approaches with more props for his table, alcohol bottles and a few glasses.

“I can whip a couple more up,” Tommy answers, surveying the bottles, plotting what he can make from what they have there.

“All fake I’m afraid.” The assistant stops the thoughts.

“Same with those on the table.” Tommy laughs but sits back down anyway. “Sorry boys.”

“It’s fine,” Garrett answers with a hint of a pout,

“Alright, do we have sound on all the mics?” A thumb is raised from within the crowd of the crew in answer, “Camera’s rolling?” The Cameramen push buttons here and there, before answering in the affirmative.

“Eat It or Yeet It, Poker Night, Take One, and Action.” The clapper board is brought out and snapped down, the crew member shuffling off screen before Noah starts to speak.

“Hello everyone and welcome to a special episode of Eat It or Yeet It. That’s right, I’m Courtney, and this is guy's night!” Those at the table spend a moment trying to hold in their laughter, before failing. “No?”

“It’s perfect!” Yells a voice from behind the camera, resulting in more laughter from both the cast and crew.

“Okay, Good.” Noah waits a moment for the laughter to subside before speaking again. “Here are the rules.” A slight pause for the editors to cut in and add Courtney’s prerecorded clip of the rules. “Wait, should I actually read the rules?”

“Why not?” Comes the reply, knowing that the editor can always edit it out.

“True.” The table agrees.

“Alright, Funny faces on...” Tommy’s the first to react, lifting a glass in ‘cheers’ to the camera, the others quickly copy, making sure to pull faces as they do so, all looking like they froze frame in the middle of saying ‘cheers’ “First person to ding the bell eats the dish, that person is then out, and safe for the rest of the game. Last person standing eats ‘The Big Bite’ which is either the best or the worst, dish of the game.”

“Wow Noah, have you been practising? Shayne asks, looking behind him.

“Maybe a little,” Noah answers, shrugging off the compliment. “What have we got planned for guys’ night Garrett?”

“Well, it’s the boy’s weekly get together, so we decided to play some poker and eat some relatively easy finger foods,” Garrett answers, shuffling a deck of cards.

“And Tommy’s had a hand in preparing today’s meal?” Noah pulls attention back to the table, and one of the five men sitting at it.

“Oh no, I just brought the drinks.” Tommy is quick to turn down any knowledge of Garrett’s evil plans.

“Before we start, does anyone want anything from the care station?”

“Oh no.” Damien shares a worried glance with Spencer. “How bad is it?”

“Not bad, just checking.” There’s a smile on Garrett's face that warns otherwise

“Well I wasn’t supposed to be here, so there’s probably some malic acid in there somewhere.” Shayne speculates, warning the group.

“Alright, hand over the bread.” Ian holds out a hand, and quickly everyone is munching away, adding something to their stomachs before whatever Garrett’s cooked up is offered to them.

“So is your strategy going to be going for the dish you think has malic acid in it?” Ian asks Shayne.

“I’m not sure, I’ll probably end up with it no matter what I do, so...” Shayne shrugs.

“Probably.” Almost everyone agrees, it’s just how these things go, at least they can normally convince one other person to try it, so they still get some sort of reaction on camera.

“Alright, we ready?” Noah asks as the last bite of bread is swallowed.

“Let’s do this.” Everyone is eager to get started, keen to see what madness Garrett cooked up.

“Close your eyes.” The five at the table close their eyes, allowing Noah to move around the table to where another crew member is carefully placing a plate of mini-pizzas beneath the cloche. “And open.”

“Dish one of poker night is....” Noah lifts the cloche, to instant distrust and confusion. The bite-sized pizzas are quickly analysed for anything out of the ordinary. They seem to be vegetable pizzas, with green capsicum, tomato, and mushroom. The cheese on top is melted, and the same colour as you’d expect for cheese. “Five!” Noah starts the countdown.

“Four!” The room joins in, “Three! Two! One!” Tommy’s hand instantly shoots out, slamming onto the bell. Ian is hesitantly reaching for the bell, as does Spencer, but Damien and Shayne don’t move.

“Pizza can’t be bad!” Tommy explains his decision as Noah puts the platter in front of him

“It can if Garrett’s been near it.” Shayne and Damien both speak, looking at each other and smiling when they hear the other speak.

“Hey!” Garrett’s partially offended,

“Pizza cannot be bad.” Ian agrees with Tommy “At least that was my hope.”

“I guess we’ll see.” Noah says as Tommy picks up one of the mini pizzas “In Three!”

“Two!” The room joins in, “One!” Tommy shoves the whole mini pizza into his mouth.

“That’s the biggest bite.” Ian laughs, as the others echo similar comments.

“It looks too good to be true.” Damien comments,

“Oh uh.” Shayne notices it first when Tommy’s face starts to scrunch up, enjoyment giving way to dismay as he tries to figure out what’s happening in his mouth. “Yeet bucket?” Noah searches around him, producing a bucket that Tommy waves off.

“Why is it slimy?” Tommy asks around his mouthful.

“You don’t like my pizza?” Garrett tries to pout, but can’t help his smile as he watches on.

“It’s not that, most of it is actually quite nice but... it’s got this slimy texture that seeps throughout and ruins it.” Tommy swallows his bite with a shake of his head, picking up another mini-pizza and raising it to eye level.

“Not again?” Ian asks,

“I just can’t figure out what it is. It tastes like a veggie pizza, but with slime.” Tommy analyses the mini pizza up close.

“May I?” Damien reaches for the tray, and Tommy nods, sliding it into the middle of the table.

“Go for it, anyone else?”

“Why not?” Spencer takes one for himself, as do Ian and Shayne. They all take small bites,

“Uucckk.” Ian’s shoulders come up to his ears as the sliminess hits him.

“Oh! I think I know what this is!” Damien announces.

“Can you tell us any more?” Noah asks Tommy, who has taken another small bite and is chewing very slowly and deliberately as he tries to figure it out.

“It might be the dough? Is it undercooked Pizza?” Tommy asks, looking at Garrett.

“The dough shouldn’t be.” Garrett comes around, takes one of the mini pizzas and pops it in his mouth.

“Nope, it’s cooked.” His mouth is full as he answers,

“Definitely know what it is.” Damien watches Garrett with a knowing smile, taking another bite of his pizza. Beside him, Shayne puts down his with a bite out of it, and Ian takes another puzzled bite.

“Garrett can you eat this?!” Spencer is worried, eyes following Garrett as he returns to his spot, getting a slight nod in answer.

“Any final guesses before we go to Damien, Tommy?” Noah asks, drawing attention back to this round's ‘winner’

“I suppose Garrett eating it is some kind of hint?” Tommy ponders it for a moment, “But I’m sure he eats all kinds of weird stuff preparing for these shows.

“True.” Garrett agrees,

“Nope, no idea.” Tommy gives up, looking to Noah for the answer.

“Damien?” Given his time to shine, Damien straightens up.

“Is it vegan cheese?” Noah pulls out a card from his apron.

“This is Garrett’s Vegan Pizza. Homemade vegan pizza dough, plant-based cheese, tomato paste, mushroom, tomato and green bell peppers.” Noah reads, “Congratulations! You ate it, so you are now safe for the rest of the game.”

“Yeah,” Ian cheers, as Noah moves closer to Tommy.

“Woo” Shayne adds, clapping as well.

“Well done!” Spencer also cheers,

“This is supposed to be a good dish?” Tommy asks Spencer, moving the microphone off of his bib as Noah takes it off of him.

“I thought it would be!” Garrett responds, “Give me the tray, I’ll eat them.” Spencer passes over the tray, and Garrett takes another bite of one.

“I think it’s the texture of the cheese, it’s rather slimy compared to ‘normal’ cheese.” Damien partially defends the table.

“It was the cheese?!” Tommy doesn’t believe it.

“I still have the block, should I?” Garrett starts to ask,

“Yes!” He’s interrupted by an excited shout, and so he quickly ducks out to go and get it. He doesn’t take long to return, going to the table and cutting a slice of cheese for Tommy.

“Anyone else?”

“Yeah, I’ll take one.” Damien agrees. Ian holds his hand out, and Spencer does the same.

“Okay, twist my arm.” Shayne chuckles, also taking a slice.

“It feels so slimy.” Tommy is running his fingers up and down the slice. “How did it even melt?” Garrett offers slices to those behind the cameras who want to try it.

“If you add some water and then steam it, Vegan cheese will melt just like normal cheese,” Garrett answers, returning to his station and eating another mini pizza.

“I could get used to it.” Spencer shrugs, taking a bite of his slice.

“I think I’m happy with my normal cheese.” Shayne turns and tosses the rest of his in the Yeet bucket.

“I mean it’s-” Damien shrugs, eating the last of his slice.

“Alright, let’s clean up and move on to the next dish.” The director orders, watching the last remaining pieces of cheese get tossed. “Eyes closed.” The five at the table close their eyes again, and another platter of food is brought up and the cloche is carefully balanced on top.

“And open your eyes.” Noah waits for a second before lifting the cloche, revealing a giant platter of Philly steak subs. Steak stuffed sandwiches covered with drizzling melted cheese inside a thick, white sub roll.

“Wow.” Several voices chime in, everyone leaning in closer to eye up this magnificent sandwich. Garrett, behind his desk, chuckles at the amazed responses.

“Five!” Noah starts the countdown

“This definitely has the Malic acid.” Shayne talks over Noah, to the other contestants.

“Four!” Everyone chants.

“No way.” Damien laughs,

“Three! Two! One!” All four hands shoot out at once, slamming down on the button in an effort to be the first. The button, under the force of the four men, flies off of the table and towards Noah, who quickly uses the cloche as a shield to protect himself.

“I think we’re going to need instant replay for that one.” Noah chuckles, looking down at the table. Quickly, one of the cameras starts checking the playback.

“I hit someone else.” Shayne is the first to admit his defeat.

“Me.” Damien raises his hand with a wince, “and may I say, Ow!” Damien cradles his hand close to his chest.

“Sorry.” Shayne apologises quickly,

“I also hit somebody.” Damien also sadly reveals his defeat.

“Me I think.” Ian raises a hand of his own momentarily. “Which means Spencer got there first.” Another defeat, leaving only one victor remaining.

“Me?” Spencer can’t believe it, looking at his own, severely crushed hand to see a faint imprint of the bell top on his palm.

“Playback says Spencer.” A voice calls from one of the side cameras, agreeing with what the men have admitted.

“Congratulations Spencer, and we’ll get you some ice for that hand after this.” Noah pulls the giant sub towards Spencer,

“Dude, I’m jealous.” Damien stage-whispers softly to Shayne, who nods his agreement. Spencer smiles at both before picking up the sub with both hands.

“Three!” Noah starts,

“Two! One!” Spencer fills his mouth with as much of the sub as he can, ripping a big bite off with a slight twist of his head. A piece of steak covered in a brown sauce smacks into his chin with the movement. And he tries his best to start chewing.

“Man, if this thing is bad...” Shayne chuckles nervously, lifting a hand to his face. Spencer doesn’t say anything, can’t say anything with how full his mouth is, but the look on his face is pure bliss.

“Do you need the bucket?” Noah asks, after a moment of silence and chewing. Spencer shakes his head,

“This is delicious!” He mumbles around the bite still in his mouth. The remaining three groan in response, “Do you guys want to try it?” Spencer pushes the plate into the middle of the table, offering some to everyone else.

“No burning at the back of your throat?” Tommy verifies as Spencer finishes the bite. Shayne shrugs, reaching out and tearing off the end of the sub for himself.

“No weird bubbling in your stomach?” Ian adds, hesitantly reaching towards the plate.

“Is it definitely beef and not some other exotic meat?” Damien adds,

“I mean, if you guys don’t want any, I’ll happily eat it all.” Spencer goes to pull the plate back, only to get stopped

“We’re just checking,” Tommy replies as everyone else tears off a bit of the sub.

“What did you taste?” Noah asks, also helping himself to a bite.

“There’s this rich, tender steak, with creamy cheese, I’d guess provolone, with a slight hint of bite from the onion, and that sauce just oozes in such a spectacular way. The bread, so light and fluffy.” Moans echo from around the table as everyone else digs into their share, nodding their heads in agreement with Spencer’s description. “You should make this again Garrett.” Garrett smiles proudly,

“I was a little worried, but I’m glad it turned out so well.” He admits, “I messed up the test one earlier in the week.”

“Steak can be hard to cook.” Shayne nods his head,

“I’d imagine this would be hard to cook.” Damien motions to the sub as Spencer takes the rest of it back to continue eating.

“Alrighty Spencer, would you like to know what you ate?” Spencer nods, taking another bite of the sub. “It’s a Jumbo Philly Cheesesteak sub!” Noah reads off of the card. “Rib-eye steak, provolone cheese, caramelised onion, and a ‘rich sauce’.” Eyes look to Garrett who only shrugs, motioning to ‘shush’ as he does so.

“Apparently a secret sauce. Well, Spencer, you ate it, which means you are safe for the rest of the game.” Spencer reluctantly puts the sub down to help Noah remove his bib.

“So if Tommy got one that was supposed to be good, and Spencer got something that is objectively great-” Damien starts,

“We’re ducked.” Shayne finishes with a sigh.

“Yup.” Ian agrees quickly,

“Alright, let’s keep going.” The director calls,

“Can I keep this?” Spencer asks, looking past the cameras and pointing at the sub.

“Don’t see why not,” Ian answers with a shrug.

“Thanks Boss!” Spencer smiles, settling onto his stool with what remains of his jumbo sub.

“And eyes closed.” A new platter is brought in and quickly covered, and Noah is ushered to the front to resume his hosting duties. “And open!”

Noah lifts the cloche to reveal a plate of what looks like deep-fried mini spring rolls, with three different kinds of dipping sauces.

“Five!” Shayne, Damien and Ian all lean in, looking for anything suspicious.

“Four! Three! Two! One!” Shayne and Damien both lunge for the bell, Damien’s hand clasping down on top of Shayne’s.

“I don’t know if I’d trust things I can’t see inside of,” Ian warns while the platter is moved closer to Shayne.

“There’s enough that we can share.” Shayne offers to Damien, nudging the plate towards his friend.

“You go first, I’ll think on it,” Damien replies,

“What is the plan here Garrett?” Shayne asks, picking up one mini spring roll and eyeing up the three sauces.

“Just pick your favourite one.” Garrett laughs at the mildly annoyed look he gets in response.

“All three,” Ian adds at the same time.

“At once?!” The pitch of Shayne’s voice raises as he queries the order, earning laughter from everyone.

“Or one at a time?” Garrett offers, “Whatever you’d prefer.”

“Okay...” Shayne looks around the room suspiciously, before going to hover over a bowl of what looks to be sweet chilli sauce.

“In Three!” Noah starts off the countdown, and Shayne dips the spring roll.

“Two! One!” There is a resounding crunch as Shayne bites the spring roll clean in half, cracking and flaking in the ways that only well-cooked spring rolls do. Shayne’s hand coming up to catch the bits that flake out of his mouth. He nods his head as he chews, a smile on his face, that slowly dips giving way to confusion. Slow deliberate chews, mulling the flavour in his mouth.

“Maybe take another bite?” Garrett suggests, watching with a big grin. It must be bad, somehow, if Garrett looks like he’s about to explode into the giggles of a mad toddler. Shayne turns the spring roll around, dipping the uneaten half into the brown sauce before plopping it into his mouth whole. Still chewing with that confused look on his face.

“What, what are you tasting there buddy?” Noah asks, trying not to laugh as Shayne’s head cocks to the side like a confused golden retrievers would, still puzzling over the taste in his mouth.

“It’s not bad, it’s just... weird,” Shayne answers, taking another and dipping it in the last of the sauces, taking another descend bite. “Pastry on point,” He mumbles around his mouthful, “noodles, noodly, bits of carrot and other green vegetables, tastes normal.” Shayne pokes around inside of the half eaten spring roll in his hand. “But it also tastes like someone cut up bits of lemon and tucked them inside.” He pulls the spring roll apart, unable to find any parcels of yellow or anything, before shoving the disassembled bite into his mouth.

“Anyone else want to give it a try?” Garrett offers, deflating with the idea that whatever his evil plan is hasn’t worked.

“It isn’t Malic acid is it?” Damien hesitantly reaches for one, looking to Garrett for the answer.

“Try it and see.” Damien breaks a spring roll in half, tentatively sticking his tongue into the top. All eyes are on him, waiting for the reaction that always comes with malic acid, the screwing up of the face as the eyes and mouth pucker and the mouth starts salivating in an attempt to counter the sourness. But it never comes, instead, Damien reaches out to dip the closed half into the brown sauce and drops it all into his mouth.

“Well in that case.” Spencer puts down his sub and leans over the table, grabs one and dunks it in the white sauce before plopping it whole into his mouth. Spencer, unlike Shayne and Damien, does not have a good reaction. Slowly, his face starts to screw up, starting with his nose before spreading until he’s chewing with a wide open mouth. Finally getting the reaction he wants, Garrett’s evil laughter bursts forth, hands clapping together in glee.

“Spencer? What’s happening?” Noah asks, rushing to grab the Yeet bucket and offer it to Spencer, only to get it waved away.

“You know when you were younger and you said ‘the bad words’ and your parents threatened to wash your mouth out with soap and water?” Heads around the table nod, able to relate. “Well, this taste’s like that.” Spencer takes another big bite of his sub, attempting to wash away the flavour.

“Oh!” Lightbulbs go off above several heads, those both in front of and behind the camera.

“What?” Noah asks, glancing around the table.

“Well, there is this herb, you may have heard of it, to some people, it tastes like citrus, and to others, it tastes like soap,” Shayne explains,

“No way.” Spencer groans, watching both Shayne and Damien take another and pop them into their mouths.

“You ruined my malic acid plan! It’s just my luck that you like cilantro too!” Garrett complains,

“I want a taste.” Ian decides, splitting one in half and offering the other half to Tommy.

“I don’t know if I want to.” Tommy reluctantly takes the other half,

“Count us down?” Ian asks,

“Alrighty, Three!” Noah starts, and everyone joins in.

“Two! One!” Ian and Tommy both eat their halves, all eyes watching them closely. Tommy’s face screws up first, much to everyone’s amusement. Something he solves by swallowing and then downing most of his mocktail.

Ian doesn’t seem to mind, chewing thoughtfully for a moment more.

“You’re right, it does taste like when my mom used to wash my mouth out.” Ian reaches over for another, dipping it in the chilli sauce and taking another big bite.

“Seriously?” Noah asks, eyes wide with disbelief.

“Wanna try?” Shayne offers him one, and Noah takes it, reaching around to get some of the white sauce and try it. Noah’s face screws up pretty quickly, head shaking as he rushes to finish the bite.

“Well Shayne, you ate it and are safe!” He quickly gets back to his hosting duties before he can be questioned about it. Taking Shayne’s bib away with the man’s help. “What you just ate is soapy mini spring rolls, spring rolls with cilantro, carrot, angel hair noodles, and spring roll flavouring.

“I don’t taste soap, it’s just the lemon doesn’t go well at all,” Tommy admits, accepting a drink from Garrett as he silently passes it over.

“I was hoping for soap,” Garrett admits, offering everyone else a drink as well, but no one else accepts. “Your grave mouth will have a weakness Shayne, and I will find it.” A supervillain level threat, Shayne tries to look scared, but quickly cracks up laughing, taking everyone else with him.

“Alright, shall we move on?” Noah asks as the laughter dies down.

“Spencer, promise me you’ll clip that with fire and evil maniacal laughter?” Shayne asks, wiping his eyes.

“Absolutely.” Spencer agrees, probably already considering doing the same himself.

“Thanks!”

“Eyes closed.” The cast - including Noah - closes their eyes, “Not you Noah.”

“Oh.” There are more chuckles as Noah opens his eyes and moves around to the front of the table, hovering his hand over the cloche the production assistant was carefully placing over the next platter.

“Forgot your job there Noah?” Damien teases,

“Oh shush.” Noah sticks his tongue out in response, knowing Damien can’t see it. “Eyes open.” He gives them a second before lifting the cloche. “Five!” On the table sits a pile of chicken wings, smothered in a bright red marinade, with a dollop of white cream on top, and a sprinkle of bright green over the top..

“Yes!” Damien is excited by the sight, looking over to see if Ian might be thinking the same.

“Four! Three!” The cast and crew keep counting down,

“All yours.” Ian leans back with a shake of his head. Both seem to know what the platter is.

“Two! One!” Damien reaches for the bell, hand landing on it while Ian sits still.

“All yours my dude.” Noah smiles, putting the tray in front of Damien.

“Nice. Thanks Ian.” Damien smiles, lifting a wing in a ‘cheers’.

“What do you think it is?” Noah asks, wanting to get his thoughts before he takes a bite.

“Well, we’ve had the mini-pizzas, that were meant to be good, but Tommy didn’t enjoy the cheese. Then Spencer got that delicious looking jumbo sub, so two good, then we had the spring rolls, which weren’t too bad despite Garrett’s attempts-”

“Speak for yourself,” Spencer mumbles,

“They were bad.” Tommy also interjects, Garrett chuckles away at their responses,

“So this one will probably be good, and the big bite will probably be the worst dish of the game. And I do like buffalo wings.” Damien finishes his thought process.

“Make sure to get some of the cream,” At Garrett’s reminder, Damien dips the wing in his hand through the white sauce.

“Ready when you are.” Damien nods to Noah, who starts the countdown.

“Three! Two! One!” Damien tears into the chicken wing, munching away. Everyone watches his face silently, looking for any sign it’s good or bad.

“Oh no.” Damien puts the wing down, waving a hand at his face as beads of sweat start to form on his forehead, redness creeping onto his face from his neck. “Oh no.” Garrett’s hands clap together as he laughs, watching Damien closely.

“Oh no?” Shayne asks, trying not to laugh.

“Oh no,” Damien repeats, turning to stare at Garrett, who only laughs harder.

“Can you talk us through this?” Noah asks, trying to remember his role in this video.

“Hot,” Damien replies, still waving a hand at his face. “Too hot.” Damien dips two fingers into the white sauce, dumping a large amount of it in his mouth, and breathing a sigh of relief at the coolness it brings. “It better not be in the sauce.” Damien mumbles, glancing to Garrett who shakes his head. “That would be cruel.”

“Bucket?” Noah offers, Damien shakes his head, holding the sauce in his mouth for a while longer before swallowing.

“Those are buffalo wings, spiced by the devil himself.” Damien motions to the platter in front of him.

“Why thank you.” Garrett acts as if he is flattered by the insult.

“Anyone else want some?” All four other heads shake no, Damien still breathing heavily as he fights the heat burning in his throat.

“So what you ate are,” Noah pulls out the card. “Spicest buffalo wings ever. Buffalo wings, extra hot sauce, a sprinkle of ghost pepper, blue cheese sauce and spring onion.”

“Sounds about right.” Damien goes to lick the sticky marinade off of his hands, but quickly stops himself, hands dropping towards the table, fingers held up.

“You had better wash that off,” Garrett advises, passing over a yogurt to help with the heat.

“Good idea. Recess?” Damien looks past the cameras, asking for permission.

“2 minutes,” the director agrees, “cut!”

“That is brutal,” Ian comments, pulling the tray closer to sniff it.

“You worried about the big bite?” Shayne asks, getting up and helping himself to a bottle of water.

“Could go either way really, two good, two bad,” Ian answers with a shrug.

“At least we were saved the malic acid?” Tommy glances at Garrett, who has been engaged in a conversation.

“This time.” Spencer sighs, glancing at Shayne. “They got enough warning to change it up.”

“Seems like it, Keith did find out at the start of the week,” Shayne answers with a shrug, taking a drink.

“I’ll admit, cilantro wasn’t my best idea, but I was scrambling. I know what would happen if I used malic acid.” Garrett comes over and joins the conversation, glancing up at Shayne.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbles sheepishly.

“Not entirely your fault.” A production assistant quietly moves past them all, taking the buffalo wings away.

“What am I in for?” Ian leans forward, trying to get the inside scoop on the upcoming big bite.

“You’ll see soon enough,” Garrett answers,

“I’m back, sorry!” Damien announces his return, and everyone quickly shuffles back to their places.

“Rolling.” The clapboard comes out, ready to mark the restart of the shoot.

“Eat It or Yeet It take two, and action!” The clapper comes down,

“Congratulations Damien! You ate it, although maybe you shouldn’t’ve, and you are safe from the game.” Noah laughs, taking Damien’s bib away.

“I guess I’ll find out later.” Damien picks up the yogurt with a shrug.

“And eyes closed.” The director calls from off-screen, the cast quickly obeys, even as Damien shovels yogurt into his mouth. Another platter of food is brought in, a cloche closed over the top.

“You ready?” Shayne asks Ian, eyes still firmly closed.

“As I’ll ever be,” Ian answers,

“And open,” Noah calls, all eyes open as he lifts away the cloche, revealing a plate of fries, smothered in bacon, onion, and cheese, all drizzled in a brown sauce and with yet another dollop of white sauce on the top.

“Aww man.” Damien groans as Ian’s face lights up.

“Five!” Noah starts off the countdown,

“Four! Three! Two! One!” Ian leisurely reaches out and dings the bell, waiting for Noah to move the plate in front of him.

“Any final thoughts?” Noah asks,

“This better be salt, not malic acid.” Ian laughs, pointing the to small salt-looking granules on the fries, getting laughs from the room.

“Three!” Ian has a massive smile as he picks up a few chips, making sure they have some of all the toppings.

“Two! One!” Everyone joins in, watching Ian shove this massive bite into his mouth and start chewing.

“What’s happening boss man?” Noah asks, leaning in.

“Delicious!” You can barely understand Ian’s words around the giant bite, but his smile tells it all.

“It smells fantastic Garrett.” Tommy compliments, everyone around nodding in agreement.

“Want a bite?” Ian offers, swallowing his mouthful.

“Yes please!” Everyone digs in, Ian taking another big bite of his own, even Noah reaching around and helping himself to some of the platter.

“I’m keeping this for lunch.” Ian motions to his plate, glancing behind the camera to make sure no one wants to take it away from him, smiling when he gets the response he wants.

“Congratulations you ate it.” Noah pulls a card out of his apron, reading off of it. “Loaded Fries, fries, bacon, onion, secret sauce and sour cream.” Noah takes Ian’s bib off,

“And that’s it for today’s episode, Thanks for watching, if you liked it please click the like button, and hey, if you haven’t, maybe subscribe.” Noah starts the outro, “If you aren’t done watching Smosh content, then here’s a video we picked out for you.” Multiple hands make a box on the right hand side of the screen, motioning at it. “Or here’s one the algorithm thinks you will like.” Those same hands now switch to the left hand side. “If you have any ideas for any future Eat It or Yeet It videos please comment down below.” Noah waves goodbye as everyone else on the screen picks up the cards in front of them, pretending to start playing the game. Shayne takes a sip of his drink, and Damien adds a few chips to the pot.

“All in.” Spencer decides, pushing all his chips into the middle.

“Fold.” Tommy throws his cards into the middle,

“Do you even know how to play?” Ian asks, having some more fries.

“Cut!” A voice comes from off-screen.

#smosh #eat it or yeet it #shayne topp #Damien hass #noah grossman #ian hecox #tommy bowe #garrett watts #smosh fanfiction #smosh pit

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