oh but the clothing choices are SO interesting here.

right when mew finally seems to be letting ray in, mew starts dressing in a style that's awfully reminiscent of ray himself:

meanwhile, right when ray is finally getting to receive the type of affection from mew he's yearned for ages - ray's not dressed the way he usually does for nights out.

in fact if i didn't know any better, i might even say he's dressed up in an outfit that's awfully reminiscent of a style a certain someone picked out just for him:

what a coincidence, that right when mew's external appearance finally seems to imply he's ready to be on the same page as ray...........ray's external appearance has shifted to reflect the lingering influence of someone new.

Only Friends: What Led to Ray's Explosive Tirade (Playing 'The Bad Guy')

I have to admit that this was not how I expected this scene to play out. I was just as flabbergasted as everyone else at first. However I think there's one clear thing that Ray's outburst reminded me off: no matter whether you reveal the truth or keep it to yourself - either way, you are the bad guy.

I'm NOT the Villain

As Boston very derisively claims, if Ray reveals the truth of the affair, he'll be the one unleashing the damage. A similar parallel to what Boston did last episode (with very different intentions may I add, but damage is damage nonetheless).

Mew is incredibly important to Ray. If we talk simply outside of Ray's love for him, Ray wants to treat him well, repay him for his kindness and support over the years. Therefore, once Ray was in possession of this information, he felt very strongly that Mew needed to know. He knew telling Mew was the right thing to do. He does genuinely care about Mew as a person.

Does he warn Mew and ruin his present happiness (which is based on a lie)? Or does he hold his tongue and potentially watch his friend get hurt from other mistreatments by Top further down the line?

Ray doesn't want to hurt Mew in any way. He doesn't want to be the bringer of bad news. Why should it have to fall to him to reveal this awful act of betrayal to someone he cares for so much? And when Mew supposedly doesn't react in the way he expects to this information, Ray goes ballistic with frustration, concern and anger. Why is he the bad guy for trying to help his friend, when Top can seemingly get away with it, and be in everyone's good graces even when he's completely undeserving? Why can no one else see Top's true colours?

I'm NOT the Worst

Something else that occurred to me throughout this episode, is how often Ray's friends belittle and overlook him. And it's so routine they hardly even notice.

Boston has never tried to hide his snide little back-handed comments at Ray. Since their fight at Sand's, he's become even more callous when throwing quips in plain sight. Namcheum makes an observation about all of them being partnered up, and it's only after a few beats that April points out Ray is still single. It's as if they forgot he was even there. Namcheum doesn't tend to pick up on any of the animosity or tension within this group. She's generally not the most tactful or best at reading people.

Then when Ray speaks to Mew in the bathroom, Mew immediately assumes Ray's been taking drugs. Ray looks clearly stunned by this. Yes, he's always coined as the 'drunk' but that's not his one and only personality trait. That's not all he does and is as a person.

It dawns on Ray that even his closest friends seem to always assume the very worst of him. He had a bad feeling about Top from the offset but no one cared or listened. Rather, Ray never gets given the benefit of the doubt, when he's not committed anything as problematic as the heinous crimes amongst their group. Particularly when compared to Top, someone who gets all the praise and adoration when Ray knows he's a certified piece of shit, is desperately unfair. And most of all Top gets the respect of the best friend he loves.

I think what really sent the situation hurtling south was Ray watching everyone play happy families, when he knows there is a web of dishonesty and resentment lurking beneath. It's all a farce. And Ray couldn't stomach it for another moment longer. He had enough.

Become the Very Thing You Loathe

In Episode 4, Ray displays a classic example of self-loathing and self punishment when he goads Sand to scold him. In doing so, it's as if he's deriving some warped form of satisfaction in owning these criticisms. Because he's told these things so often, he starts to believe it, so why not own it too? I actually mentioned this in my Episode 1 meta (regarding Ray's self-actualisation of becoming a burden). Sometimes embracing the very thing you hate being know for, at least validates the presence of that criticism. 'If people keep calling me an asshole, then fine, I'll become an asshole. At least then being called an asshole makes sense.'

So Ray brought it on himself to air out everyone's dirty laundry. 'Fuck it, if you really all think I'm the worst, then fine, I'll do what needs to be done, I'll be the worst. You all happy now?'

Even though Ray adopts the persona forced onto him, he's not happy about it at all. He wants to be identified with more substance, with more credit, as more than just what everyone claims him to be.

Oh the lengths I'd go to see the bts of the apartment fight scene 😭😭😭😭😭 that must've been so tough on FirstKhao but JFC???!?!?!??? THEIR TALENT???????? I'm still in shock, I'll need the whole week to recover

Judging by the five (5!) asks I have in my inbox, y’all really want to talk about the apartment scene 😂 So let’s do it!

First, just a little background on me. I work with addicts on a daily basis and although it’s not alcohol addiction I’m dealing with, the psychology of it is the same. I’ve seen a few people be critical of Ray choosing to change for someone other than himself, but—and I cannot stress this enough—if someone wants to change at all, I don’t really give a fuck what their reason is. Do you know how hard it is to make people want to change?

In my experience, most people want to change for someone else because most people with an addiction have already been so beaten down by the addiction itself that they no longer think they’re worth saving. Someone genuinely wanting to change for themself comes later. At the beginning, people are usually motivated by their family. 

The danger of this, of course, is that if you lose your reason to change, you also lose your motivation to change, and this is what we see happen between Sand and Ray in the apartment scene.

Ray spends the majority of this episode very blasé about rehab. He still doesn’t think he has a problem and is essentially just going through the motions to please Sand. He’s throwing away his wine bottles, but not in a way that’s permanent. He doesn’t pour them out. He doesn’t even get rid of all of them and he’s sipping on a glass of whiskey as he does it. He’s doing it for show. So when he learns that Sand isn’t just asking him to go to rehab out of the goodness of his heart—that he’s getting paid to do it—Ray finally has what he has wanted all along: an excuse not to go.

I think something people don’t talk about enough when it comes to addiction is how comforting the addiction is to the person who’s addicted. It’s their security blanket. It’s the thing that helps them get through the day. Often, it’s the only thing that makes them want to be alive even as it’s slowly killing them. Any normal person is going to be resistant to that change. So Ray gives Sand what he thinks is an impossible ultimatum: You tell your father who you are (something you have spent the past twenty-two years not doing) and I will go to rehab. 

Only Sand cares about him so much that he actually does it.

I truly believe that even in the absence of Ray’s father paying Sand, their blow-up in the apartment would have happened anyway. Ray would have found something to sever ties with Sand over because without Sand, he has no obligation to go to rehab. Addicts will do anything—and hurt anyone—to keep the source of their addiction close. And I also think that there’s still a part of Ray that wants to save Sand from himself. He said it to Mew early on: “You deserve a nice guy.” Ray thinks Sand deserves someone better.

Khaotung acted his ass off this whole episode, but what I really loved was the nuance First brought to Sand’s character. He lets Ray yell because he knows he’s done wrong, but he also understands that they aren’t just yelling about the money. He knows Ray doesn’t actually believe what he’s saying. Sand has always refused any money Ray gave him. He’s been nothing but caring. Nothing but kind. He knows that Ray’s trying to push him away and he has no choice but to let him. No choice but to continue letting Ray hurt himself.

And then, after the fight, we see Ray drinking again, no longer even trying to pretend, and my favorite part of the entire episode is the fact that what makes Ray finally choose to get help is the knowledge that he has hurt Sand. The realization of how much pain he has caused him. The acknowledgement that this relationship is the most important thing to him and he’s willing to do absolutely anything he can to save it.

My dad got sober for me and my sister. My best friend got sober for her unborn child. That is the kind of love we're working with here. The kind of love that makes you want to be a better person.

Only Friends Character Rankings Episode 12

And that's all she wrote friends! And how she wrote it was...weird? The show definitely pulled some punches at the end there, trying to thread a needle and ending instead in a kind of wishy-washy damp squib. The couples landed up right, but in the wrong way? Guu mai chorp. But these hoes still need their final sorting. Nick led the pack going into the finale, will he end up on top at the end? Only the mains this week in my final rankings, but first...

⭐A1. FUCKIN' MIX!

Then…can I be your friend too?

I'm sorry I can't hear y'all over my screams at the MESS Minx Mix looks set to cause. That man is too pretty to be allowed in public. I WANT IT JOJO, I WANT IT NOW!

🔻🔻🔻Z∞. Boeing (8)

I just happen to want something strong tonight.

In the end, Boeing is just a lonelyboy like all the rest of them, which is fine, but he also just...disappears after the Ray/Mew Voltron vanquishes him and he gets a consolation makeout from Boston, which is not. Anyway, Mond is a good actor, also he's hot and got to kiss a bunch of boys, so winning.

Top tier show sidepieces: Yo, Plug, Summer, Freddie Mercury 2, Sand's Mom, Ray's Dad, Daddy Dan, April, Mew's Moms (barely)

These characters were mostly on the side of the angels, and I thank them for their service.

Bottom bitches: Cheum, Atom, Gap

Yeah they apologised, but fuck em.

Onto our main six!

🔺1. Boston (2)

I'm friendless.

In the end, Boston's at the top of my mains pile, because MY MANS DESERVED BETTER. Not in terms of Nick, I think that actually ended the absolute best way: Boston made his case, Nick made his decision, and they parted more or less as friends (and I loved absolutely every conversation those two had in this episode). No I mean in terms of his shitty friends, especially MEW. Cheum at least apologised, even if perfunctorily, and he apologised for sleeping with Atom (yeah, he really shouldn't have done that). He and Ray let the water wash under their particular bridge, and seem set to be cool. They never really had much in the way of beef to be fair. But Mew...actually you know what, good. Some people you don't need to be friends with, especially people who are gonna judge you and try to make you feel shitty about yourself. The narrative leaves Boston literally alone at the end though, legit the last time we see him is sitting on the curb with tears in his eyes as Nick walks away. Thanks, I hate it. I hope New York is better to Boston, and I hope he continues to learn and grow and tackle those impulse control problems.

🔻2. Nick (1)

You should go back to living a fun and sassy life that you prefer instead of trying to please a daydreaming guy like me.

YOU COULD HAVE ACCEPTED THE GODDAMN PHOTO NICKYBOY. I mean I get why not, but justice for my mans. Anyway, Nick's legit my second fave main here, as he grapples with the in-your-face realities of Boston's separation of love and sex, and decides he can't handle it. And that's good, that he loves Boston enough not to judge him, and loves himself enough not to put himself through something he knows he doesn't want. Every single choice and every conversation these two have had since Nick apologised has been nothing less than stellar, and that's because Nick took accountability and chose honesty. Well done baby boy.

🔺3. Sand (5)

You're right. When I love someone, I become a dog. But at least my owner loves me.

Pathetic to the very end, consistency thy name is Sand. He could have at least thrown his bussy into that threesome, but nooooooo, he got jealous IN TWO DIRECTIONS AT ONCE 🤣. He's fine with both boys slangin the dick his way, but calls a halt when they leave him out? Sir that's when you stand back and admire. Sand's pick-me ass ain't never gonna be my absolute fave, but his self-awareness and humiliation kink work together to be kind of endearing in a guileless sort of way, and at least he's learned to take the money if he's going to accept the ownership. It's sweet in a weird kink way. Also, his and Nick's loser friendship pushes him several points higher up the scale. There's growth and acceptance there, and he's 21 so I'll let him have it.

🔺4. Ray (7)

You still love him so I dragged him here for you. But I wanted to join just a little.

Well when he's not drunk night and day Ray's still a rich asshole, but he's a ton more fun. I love that he knows the kids at community service don't like him🤣. I spot rehab therapy working on him a bit. That threesome set up was WILD, and I personally had a good time with it, but it's probably best that it led to talking rather than fucking. Ray's got a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG way to go, but at least he treats Boston like a human being (I AM SO BITTER AND I'M NOT GETTING OVER IT). He's never gonna clock Mew's shittiness (BITTERNESS ACCELERATING) but you win some, you lose some. By the way sir, don't listen to Sand, he absolutely will be your sugar baby if you beg a little.

🔻5. Top (4)

Because I have you, everything is fine.

Top's smugness was the single most genuine thing about him, so I actually quite enjoyed watching him be a smug motherfucker this ep as he gets everything he thinks he wants. You know what I enjoyed more though? Watching his soul leave his body when Minx!Mix walked into the hostel and laser-targeted Mew. Mew putting Top through hell is legit my favourite flavour of their weird little fucked up relationship, and I'm sorry I won't get to see Mew eventually fall for Mix (you KNOW he wants to top somebody, YOU KNOW IT) and Top cry about it while he screws a bellboy in a service closet.

🔹6. Mew (6)

Are you about to say "But you're my last, Mew"? If so, I'm going to go puke in the bathroom.

OK, that line was funny, but jeez what a prig. What a sanctimonious nag. What a judgy little hypocrite. In his own conception he 'won' but Mew's the biggest loser in my heart. No he didn't have to forgive Boston, but come on, he could've kept it cute OR kept it moving full speed instead of the fake nicey nicey only to stick the knife in after. It's good that he walks away from Boston in the end, because with friends like Mew you don't need enemies. He makes Ray worse. And he and Cheum form the feedback loop from hell. Bookie sold the fuck out of this character, I have nothing but praise for him, but Mew is the living worst. I won't mention the character he reminds me most of in all of fiction, but if you're a certain age and you think about it a little, you can probably guess.

Only Friends Ep 11 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Atom lied to Cheum that Boston forced him to have sex with him repeatedly, and his friends iced him out completely. Boeing showed up to be an absolute menace and it was compelling. Top and Mew are still doing this dance, and Mew has decided to utilize Boeing to torment Top. Nick avoided advancing things with Dan, and then reconciled with Boston. Ray learned that Sand wasn't taking his dad's money (which is dumb) and decided to commit to rehab.

"Move on. Move in."

Plug, please don't drink after Sand. You do not know where that boy has been.

Look at them messing with Yo and Plug getting back together to lull me into a false sense of security.

Top and Mew are so annoying. Just please break up already.

I like that Nick is being honest with Dan without over sharing. He's also not giving Dan hope. "I like you, but I'm not ready to be anyone's boyfriend right now. Let's just focus on work," is actually good for both of them. Dan is disappointed, but he knows where he stands.

I'm glad Sand is avoiding Ray. He's been called a whore so many times.

I like Sand's mom.

I know they better give Sand that money after all he's been through. I do like that Sand doesn't think Ray needs to completely give up alcohol, but he does need to manage his dependency.

I feel like I've lost the thread on why Mew keeps hanging out with Boeing.

Look at nasty4nasty working again. We've added another boy to Mark's counter and furthered the mission to add complicated layers to digital surveillance and blackmail in modern queer life.

Now what was Boston thinking there when he glanced at Nick when he said he knows what it's like to have a one-sided love?

Things are going too well for Sand and Ray. Ray still got Sand to do the community service with him. Something is going to show up and disrupt them.

Every time I see Mew and Top I'm just like, "Potion Seller, enough of these games!"

I'm glad Sand is pathetic for every man he was in love with. Ray ain't special. Sand is just like this.

We have missed multiple opportunities for a Mama Sandwich and I am despondent.

I wish we'd gotten a better since of Top's emotional interior. Force is clearly playing Top as sincere, and I don't know how much of my distrust of Top is past experiences with guys like him or the reputation he has within the show.

I'm not a fan of Cheum's reaction here to Atom's admission. On his lie, they stormed Boston's house and accused him of assault. They kicked him out of their project. They stripped him of his community. We can support Atom learning something important about himself and still make sure we let him know that what he did was foul. I'm so not into Cheum at all. I was not expecting to have so many qualms with lesbians in this show.

I really loved that conversation between Boston and Nick. They continue to feel the most honest with each other about what they are to each other. I love Boston offering Nick this little time they have left and being clear that it does expire. I like that it's a request, and I like that Nick didn't exactly give him an answer. Nick has been burned, so he's being more cautious with Boston.

I actually kinda want Top and Mew to work out, because the back and forth with them is the kind of thing you need someone willing to spar with for it to work.

Ray saying he'll pay anything for Sand as his boyfriend might be more romantic if he didn't always call Sand a whore when he got mad.

Well well well, are we finally going to get that threesome??

A fire in the last episode what the hell. Who is burning down Top's hotel?? Who isn't Boeing going to try to fuck??

I'm so amused at Ray being possessive of Sand and asking him to draw a boundary with Boeing as if he ever managed to draw one with Ray. Top and Mew remain so uncertain for me, and I'm a bit disappointed that Top will remain an enigma to me. Boston and Nick are the only ones moving towards something that feels sustainable. Atom can leave and never come back. I'm over Cheum.

give me your craziest, messiest only friends theories. pls i need it for science

Oh, Anon, I GOT wild ass theories for days but understand that Jojo's Dirty Laundry rewired my brain and made me even crazier.

It had this beautiful pastel color scheme that was in conflict with the show's theme of money laundering while also throwing the most unhinged characters at the audience each episode.

It was amazing!

So coming off of his 2022's offerings of Mama Gogo, The Warp Effect, Never Let Me Go, AND Dirty Laundry, which all had some level of crazy messiness, I was ready for Only Friends to give me everything then throw more on top of it!

I wanted Boston to be killed (Theory 1)

I wanted Top to be framed for it (Theory 2)

I wanted Mew to have actually killed him (Theory 3)

I wanted Ray to help Mew cover it up (Theory 4)

I wanted Nick to know the truth and help them get rid of evidence (Theory 5)

I wanted Sand to know nothing (Theory 6)

Then, Jojo said "NOBODY DIES!"

But I had other theories, so I pivoted because we still have the sex workers, right? Jojo always has sex workers.

I wanted Sand to be sex worker (Theory 7)

I wanted Top to be a sex worker (Theory 8)

I wanted Nick to be a sex worker (Theory 9)

Eff it! I WANTED THEM ALL BE SEX WORKERS!

But so far, none of the main characters are sex workers. They are just normal dudes doing normal dude stuff.

Jojo has given me a strip club trying to compete with a rival strip club. He has given me a high school student taking over his family's million dollar company with his bodyguard boyfriend when both of them didn't attend school for at least a semester. He has given me a virgin traveling to the future where he is a gynecologist who can't climax. He has given me poly killers on the run! HE GAVE ME JUDO!

Yet in Only Friends, he is giving me dudes being dudes.

So I guess the craziest and messiest theory I can come up with now is about the kid:

Theory 10 - The kindergartner?

Ya ready for my theory?

The kid is someone's brother, and he is picking him up from school.

The end.

I would love if one of these guys had a secret love child (Top, Sand, or Boeing). I would love if the boys got in trouble and were court-mandated to volunteer with kids (Ray). Hell, I would love if one of them had a little brother who he was trying to shield from the oppressive life his father has forced on him (Boston or Nick). I would love something wild! ANYTHING!

But Jojo is giving us regular 20-somethings being messy, so it's probably Mew going to read to the kids because he is a good guy.

I like it. I ain't mad at it.

But no dead bodies floating in a pool. No sex workers in crop tops. No Judo having sex in the front seat while the two people hiding from gangsters in the backseat have to witness it because the client likes an audience.

Basically, no Judo crazy.

So my craziest messiest Only Friends theory is . . .

this show is normal.

but I'm keeping an eye out for the crazy, just in case.

Random thoughts about Top/Mew/Boston/Nick (Only Friends ep 1)

I rewatched the first episode of Only Friends and made a dedicated post to my thoughts about Ray and Sand so I thought I'd make one post per pairing for the other 4 dudes but the truth is that they're a lot more intertwined and I can't really talk about Boston without talking about Top and Mew so here we go, sorry for the mess :

Top seeing the white wristband of "not interested in a relationship" to mean "I can hit on you" is such a typical sleazy creepy douche bag move and I love how it establishes his character

Still sad we didn't get Boston having a threesome with this guy and his boyfriend, but also he immediately projects his frustration of not having sex on Mew by talking about his virginity, like he's incapable of not thinking things through his own perspective

Boston's dad made his money in massage parlours, that's fine but given the slut that is his son I wonder if that played a role ? Is there more than one character with daddy issues ?

Boston thinking about bringing Top on board "for his designer skills" by saying "his work was so good that I want to use his services again"... We all know what services you're talking about Ton lol

Boston approaches his interaction with Nick in a completely not flirty way, he clearly wasn't thinking about him that way until Nick said the same age and started giving non verbal cues that he was interested

Nick and Boston's first interaction ending with Nick saying "Happy to be of service"... Again we know you'd like to imply other forms of service haha

Top to Mew's "I had no idea a business administration student could be so smart" is such an annoying form of "you're not like other girls", and Mew is like " yeah I'm not like other girls, I, like, read books". Mew come on don't fall for that

Top's implication that he's tired of sleeping of experienced ones because them knowing what they want makes them feisty and so sleeping with a virgin will be good because they're docile is even worse when you hear it for the second time

The way that it doesn't sound like Boston is just saying that Mew has different priorities but he goes out of his way to talk about Mew like he's a child and looking down on him is soooo annoying. Is Boston actually a friend to any of his friends ?

Mew's look of total calm when Top tells him he came there for sex reasons is not the look of a lamb who let a wolf in the sheepfold.

Top continues to perform his Alpha male routine in control of the situation after that and clearly he understands what's happening better than Mew but Mew doesn't play up the baby bird doe eyes look for him either and takes off his own pants

Still so in love with how clearly Mew communicates his boundaries in this situation, he's unashamed to be himself and say who he is, what he wants and doesn't want, what he's willing to do and not do. Master class in "your virgin/inexperienced character doesn't need to be shy and helpless when facing the confident and experienced manly man"

It's been said before but damn the music and cinematography of the Boston & Drake's unnamed character sex scene is so good though it does emphasize how much Boston use people as giant fleshlight

The next scene opening on Top's lips must mean something. That him not being frustrated at not getting sex is just what he says but not think ? That Top knows his mouth and words are powerful ? That Top and Mew's relationship is starting to build on the basis of words and talking and not bodies and sexual contact by contrast with Boston ? Other theory ?

Mew smiling as Top spoons with him can feel just cute but also looks like Mew is perfectly in control of the situation

In general every question Top asks Mew in the bookstore feels like he's looking for cracks to get in and opportunities to slither in, not out of any actual interest to get to know Mew or connect with him

The fact that Nick doesn't even give a fake reason for giving Boston a discount, he just looks at him like "I don't know man, I'm just very gay" and Boston accepts and appreciates that

Nick might not be as experienced as random hook ups as Boston but the nude move in his phone was bold and definitely something I expect from someone who's already dabbled in the scene haha

Nick's face while he drags Boston to the back of the store is truly one of a kid who can't believe how lucky they are with their Christmas gifts

the MOANS in Boston and Nick sex scene, those are top notch

The speed at which Top becomes omnipresent in Mew's life is terrifying, like they just met and two days later he's bringing him his books to class ?

Ray's look of jealousy towards TopMew is of the "nooo I'm sad I love him it hurts" kind while Boston is firmly of the "um wtf man" kind and I relate to both

Interesting that Mew is the one that brings up his virginity again when Chueam says he has a boyfriend now, like he has to make it clear they haven't had sex when that's not even the conversation ? Interesting

The way that Boston would be fine with Top just trying to manipulate Mew into sleeping with him and would actually prefer it to Top potentially not screwing over Mew ... thanks I hate it, Boston is the worst friend of the magic foursome confirmed

I saw a very good poll asking people's interpretation as to why Boston is so jealous when Top explains that they're over but that he's willing to date Mew, and my interpretation of it is that Boston's ego can not tolerate the hit of his body being seen as less desirable ; he doesn't know exactly what he wants from Top, maybe another time using his "service" but also just not being relegated and forgotten. His self worth is based in being The Most Fuckable TM

Top's confession is still so cringe I can not sit through it without skipping, I am usually physically so incapable of watching a scene only if it's a song

Once again no real conclusion to this post except I think they're almost all going to fuck, if not with each other's bodies, certainly with each other's minds. The only pairing I don't see any chance of happening is Boston x Mew, unless it's in a threesome with Top and even then, everything else is more likely.

actually, the more of sit with it, i do have things to say about only friends

the more and more i see people talking about how much they love boston and how unfair they think his ending was, the more i think it’s actually a very interesting and, for me at least, a good and interesting way to tell a story, even if the writers really didn’t intend it. i think it’s interesting in such a morally grey show to have the show end with this condemnation of the most technically morally wrong person, to have it ultimately ‘conform’ to what is thought of as the correct morality. bc i think it’s interesting that we all can overwhelming agree that we don’t agree with it, bc i think it says a lot about how people who are willing and open-minded and able to look at things both objectively and with humanity and kindness can agree that what other people who just look at acts and behaviours isolated from everything else and subscribe to normalised values wanted and got from this ending is not what we wanted or think is right. bc i think it’s very interesting who we and the characters in the show are quick to forgive and who we aren’t. take Boston and top. they say mew forgave top bc top put in all this work and effort to make it right and earn forgiveness, but in that what he actually did was fight for that image of normality back. he is the rescued promiscuous bad boy who was fixed by settling down and finding happiness, and we can agree and think that’s right bc just generally thats the expected aim and he did it. boston on the other hand wasn’t ‘fixed’. he didn’t settle down, he didn’t become monogamous, he didn’t change, and so we punish him. but did he really not change?? if you recall, top had that emotional scene last week when he told mew he’d suffered enough, but when i saw boston in this ep at their gathering, so quiet and reserved and down, i thought back to early boston and all his confidence and bravado and self-assurance. now tell me this guy has not changed. but we just don’t see it, nor do we value it, bc in fact it’s not a good change. this guy is still suffering, he has been for a while, and while we are so quick to forgive top or ray’s actions through this show bc of their trauma that’s shown to us, do we ever once think that while not trauma, boston might have his reasons, things that have happened to him, the ways he feels, that make him act like this?? and if they were explained by some single trauma, would we more easily forgive him?? i can’t stop thinking about this, about his secret room, his secret passions, his secret identity, all these things he’s made to hide bc of who his family is. and then i think of this tendency for him to try and hold onto people while being messy and promiscuous, hiding the way he truly is, the way he truly wants to love bc he’s afraid that the people he cares for don’t love the same way he does and can’t handle it. which is fine, not everyone can, but it’s precisely bc not everyone can and those people that can are harder to find that he feels the need to keep stringing people along with what’s expected of a relationship while still giving in to the other side of him that doesn’t want monogamy. and when i think about that, i can see why he treated nick the way he did, keeping him hooked with the promise of promises that he could never keep bc it’s not who he is, and while it’s still shit for nick to be treated that way, boston can still only keep hanging the promise of more in front of him so that he can keep him around whilst also reducing his guilt where he can by not making any grand promises.

in the end, the show rewarded those who chose their partners and only them, who settled into monogamous relationships full of love, and bc of those endings, all those precious wrongs get to be erased, they get to start fresh, to begin again. but bc of who boston is, he is left to always feel like he is in the wrong. he’s always been gay, and that’s something he’s never been able to fully show or own bc of his family, and something deep inside of him has been made to feel that both that and not wanting monogamy are wrong, so please story, tell me, how else is he supposed to act?? how else is he supposed to end?? why do we just leave him to feel continually condemned for not being the norm?? and what really got to me was when nick said i think you’d be better off alone, or something to that effect. bc i think it’s wholly not true, and while i get what he meant coming from him, someone that’s always wanted complete monogamy from him and ultimately has to face that he’ll never get it and move on from his feelings, i don’t think it’s true. we’ve seen boston alone. it’s where he is now. and he is not happy. that’s the thing, he’s not meant to be alone, he’s meant to be understood. he’s meant to be treated with the same humanity and kindness that we’ve treated all these other people that have done bad things. just bc he can’t own who he is in the correct way, bc he’s never been allowed to, that doesn’t mean we should just give up and resign him to this life. why is there no one there around him willing to fight for him?? to find out who he truly is where he can’t, and tell him that that’s ok, and that he can do it, he doesn’t have to do it by these means that hurt people, that he can be who he is and cause no harm, bc everyone can be on the same page and choose to be up for it or not. and why is no one around him willing to be that voice of reassurance that says no matter how bad or messy your romantic or sexual relationships are, i will still be here as your friend, bc i value and understand you. bc maybe that’s the presence he really needs in order to explore his romantic and sexual wants in a more open and healthy way. and maybe his actions in this show perfectly are perfectly explained by him himself. he says it to mew, I didn’t do it to hurt you, i just didn’t care. he has never been that purposefully malicious, his actions are just like that bc he’s never learnt to deal with how he’s feeling in a better way. he’s lived his life not caring, detached from relationships bc it’s too hard to find one that works in the way that works for him, and detached from his friends bc they never understood him either, and so he was never able to fully care about them bc they didn’t truly care about him either. they wrote him off from ep 1 the way everyone else did, the ‘hunter’, the whore, the playboy. and we saw him making some progress with nick bc nick did love him, but ultimately bc he didn’t reciprocate nick’s feelings in the way nick wanted him to, he was left alone again. we see it with him just as we saw it with atom, this repeated story of people falling in love with him and when they can’t have all of him, they don’t want any of him. and the way he’s compartmentalised his self worth from these experiences is sex. he can’t offer people complete monogamy so he offers sex, he derives his sense of self from it. bc that’s the thing he is fine with sharing, that he wants to share. he can’t offer romance bc whoever he gives it to, as we see with nick, will ultimately leave him when they can’t get everything else.

so just ask yourself this, if someone understood and loved boston bc that’s the way they were too, or were truthfully ok with him sleeping with other people, and he loved them back, do you think he’d act the same? and do you think we’d see him the same? would we still think his behaviour is bad? would we persecute him the same? or would we celebrate them the same way we celebrate topmew and sandray? the thing is the show won’t give him that bc the show is rewarding monogamy, but it’s worth thinking about if you are one of the people that think boston got the ending he deserved. why do we forgive and explain away the bad behaviour of the other couples bc we can write it off as ‘they did it bc they love each other’, but we can’t do it for boston when the explanation is ‘he did it bc he can’t love himself’. and it’s all rather ironic that we can celebrate nick coming to find self-worth and self-love through boston, but we don’t grieve the fact that boston couldn’t do the same for himself. when of everyone, he’s the one that is, and should, and deserves to begin again, go to a place that doesn’t know his behaviour only through its infamy as dangerous and uncaring, but will evaluate it of their own accord. maybe then, he’ll find the right people he needs in his life, and he can be on his way to feeling like he can treat himself a little more kindly.

Here we are, almost at the finish line, and for the life of me I still don't get it. They are all messed up, confused, broken people. So... Why so much Top hate? I mean, even if we considered what he did cheating, since when is cheating a high crime in bl? That have been actual crimes committed by characters in this show and that's apparently fine. So why can't Top shake whatever image people assigned to him 9 episodes ago?

I dunno. Honestly, I like Top more now than I did at the start but I'm still not super attached.

Top is interesting but I feel like a lot of that interesting is being held back for some reason?

But I will be clear that a lot of BL fans absolutely consider cheating to the be the Pinnacle of Worst Things Possible in most shows and most relationships. Cheating has long, long been a high crime in BL and is the cause of like 90% of miscommunications in shows based on misunderstandings and assumptions of cheating.

But in the context of Only Friends? Top's biggest issue for me isn't the cheating, it's that he... has this air of trying to be perfect all the time in a way that doesn't work and I don't find that interesting, honestly?

He and Mew spent the first half of the show basically trying to act out their own little romcom of a BL that didn't really fit the energy everyone else was bringing or that I was expecting from the show. And I now struggle to see how Top fits into the world and into these relationships.

Top has spent most of the series sort of... outside of everyone else and not just as in the actual friend group. He's the addict who basically claims to instantly shake his addiction, he's traumatized but in a way that doesn't seem to affect him too badly (the scene of not wanting to take the sleeping pills anymore was good but I need more than that), he's a top tier guy who doesn't do serious relationships but he only has one ex we hear about or meet and Boeing is the best trash ever but I can see why you might not wanna pursue a longterm relationship with him.

My views on Top have changed but at the core I just don't find him to be a super interesting character. He has had good scenes (all my favorite scenes of his are with Boston and Sand) and I wish we'd gotten more of him with the other characters and less of him with Mew. He plays off everyone else so well in terms of being more fully realized as a character.

I dunno. I'm not invested in TopMew as a couple because I think they were presented and then proceeded in a way that doesn't fit with the vibes of anyone else but also in a way that feels... shallow.

I could not explain to you why Top loves Mew. I couldn't explain why Mew loves Top. Because their love just feels like it was written Because They're A Branded Pair Of Actors.

I am struggling to put more words into this.

But definitely part of it is that Top is written as a kind of foil for Ray as well but in order to fulfill that role he has to be what Ray isn't while also being what Ray is (just like Boeing and Mew) and that means he has to have the addiction and the trauma but he has to have gotten past them (like Boeing has morals and understands maturity but has gotten past that and gone right into being trash but trash with morals).

There's a lot that goes into what makes people dislike characters or find them to be ones that just aren't as engaging or interesting and I think the show did Top and Mew a bit dirty in the relationship development by having them both trying from the start because they started trying before they got to know each other and then the show kind of FFed their getting to know each other bit while showing us deeper moments with the other couples.

Or at least that's how it felt to me.

Okay, let’s talk about what happened today and why I’m going to defend Mew after seeing so much hate on him today. Because, I as far as I saw many people were saying that was Mew’s fault if Sand and Ray were already together in this episode.

First of all: Ray is not stupid, is not be manipulated by Mew. He chose to be with him and not with Sand because he was literally in love with Mew since forever and as we saw in the trailer for the next episode he knows about Sand’s feelings and he is even possessive of him.

Mew and Ray are toxic for each other, do you know why I’m saying this? Because Mew is in a vulnerable state of mind because he already lost himself the moment he knew his boyfriend not only cheated on him but he did it with one of his best friend. A best friend, mind you, who is the exact opposite of him. More extrovert, more a party person and more flirty with way more experience than him. Oh, and let’s not forget that Mew was already vulnerable because he felt that he need to sleep with Top otherwise he thought he was gonna leave him or getting bored so they slept together and had his first time with someone who loved. And who told this? Boston the friends who betrayed him. Mew was already the “good boy”, the “bored one”, “virgin one”, he thought through his friends and other people that he was already a boring person or even a “frigid” one who no one would actually want to have a relationship with.

He thought that Top was gonna be different, Top was trying to change for Mew and he was even trying to make Mew do new things with him without the prejudice of the people that already he had on himself. Now, not only he lost Boston as friends; he now is grieving his own friends group because now he is just tired of being the good boy or be the one who need to be in the right and act like an adult among his friends especially with Ray. When Mew is a boy in is twenty who for the first time had a really deep relationship, in many levels, with another human in a non platonic way and he got really hurt so much that now he just want to be what the fuck he want. Like imagine trying not only to act like you have your own shit together but to be there for your friends and in particular for Ray.

Ray who know what is happening about everything: Sand be in love with him, Mew trying to forget Top with him and what he is doing now? He is just doing ‘Ray’ and do what he do normally so alcohol and drugs. But this time he doesn’t have Mew to scold him about him instead Mew is doing it with him even the simple sigarette’s scene you can see how tired Mew is with his old self and how Ray actually kinda likes this Mew because this one doesn’t reject him anymore as the old one but you can see in the party scene that Ray is jealous. Who is jealous? Sand. He literally ran when he saw Sand trying to kiss the other Freddie and trying to be in the conversation at first plus kissing Sand, say to the other Freddie that he can join him and Sand in a threesome after all of this bullshit you can finally see Sand snapping at Ray saying that he doesn’t belong to Ray so he should go and worry more about his boyfriend (who, mind you, left drunk and high with coke) who now at the same time is throwing up with Top beside him. He is not his second choice and Ray knows how vocal Sand actually he is with his own feelings and actions. He loves, he cares for Ray but he also values himself. And even after that Sand still got Ray’s back when the police came.

You like me, you love me, you are mine

I’m not your second option

How people can still defending him after this episode and telling that he is not problematic? Because he is as well as the all group of friends is. No one is “good guy” because they are people in their twenties with different backgrounds and different lives styles so please stop trying to painting someone as the bad guy only because your favourite is playing that character.

Ray's Integrator vs Top's Add-er

I saw on tiktok someone comparing Samantha & Charlotte's love style and neither's better or more right than the other, but I feel like it applies to Ray and Top too, especially now we can compare how Mew behaves when he's romantically with Top and Ray.

Top is an Add-er

From the get go, he's introduced as this top-tier guy; hot, fit, rich, confident, competent, he knows what he wants and he gets what he wants. Someone like Top and Samantha are Add-ers, it means relationships aren't necessary, they're nice to have and need to add better or more positive things into their lives.

Top "settles down" for Mew simply because he likes him. He makes him happier and healthier. He provides comfort and a safe space for Top to be vulnerable. He isn't after his money, fame, or his top-tier status, Mew likes Top for who he is. That's why when Mew asked Top to stop doing drugs etc, he complies because he's actually self-aware and he knows drugs isn't good for him. So, with the support from his boyfriend, Top successfully left his old lifestyle for his own benefit.

Ray is an Integrator

On the other hand, Ray, equally hot, fit, rich, and confident in his own way is an Integrator. Meaning, he's supposed to change even fundamental parts of himself for his partner. Integrators prefer to merge their life with their partner's, combining their identities, interests, and lifestyles because that's what connection means to them. However, different from Charlotte's, Ray's integrator style is influenced by a bunch of unresolved traumas and a history of addiction.

Ray is literally incapable of changing his lifestyle to meet Mew's. So, instead of integrating Mew into him, he integrates his shitty lifestyle into Mew. And Mew's going along with it because he's rebounding hurt, he's angry, and he's lost.

But, but, but, but fact is, Ray has found someone who already fits into his lifestyle in the first place. That's why I think he's somewhat confused and internally struggling to decide what he should do about his connection to Sand.

Regardless of their love styles

and Top's initial fuckboy intentions and Ray's inability to accept no for an answer, I'm seeing that both Top's and Ray's love for Mew are genuine (at least now), they're just going about it in different ways. They both have their own versions about what's best for Mew and are actively trying to give him that.

trick or treat! 🦇🎃

Thank you!! ♥

I'm going to take this opportunity to be like HEY THESE ARE MY FICS~ on the off chance you haven't all gotten bored with me being a freak about it.

I've almost posted more fic in the past few months than I posted in the entire time I was in a previous fandom, which was over the course of 5 years or something. It makes me feel a little insane.

These are all Only Friends~ because I'm still being a freak about posting for other shows? (:

These first 7 are loosely arranged in a series but they can be read in any order/independently.

dare to try this love on for size - SandRay first time hook up fic. Written before episode 2 murdered me. Also my first time publishing an actual explicit sex scene, I think. So that definitely didn't have me hyperventilating in a corner or anything.

on my knees i think clearer - this is a very on-the-nose title. Nobody's making good choices here.

all that we intend - Sand's POV of the aftermath of on my knees...

most of what i remember - a follow-up to on my knees... wherein Ray's throwing himself a bit of a pity party, the darling.

how darling you've left your mark - idk apparently I went from never posting sex to posting plotless sex

for the days when i don't believe - canon divergent in the most. Ray wakes up in hospital after a drunken episode.

this version of you and i - Sand's POV of for the days…

And now the rest!

call me friend (but keep me closer) - a stream-of-consciousness internal-sometimes-external monologue from the perspective of a drunk Ray. This was the first fic I wrote and posted for the fandom so I'm inordinately fond of it even though it apparently confused that one bookmarker, lmaooo.

rearrange all the other working parts - pillow talk, but make it angsty?

until the engine turns off - Ray ruminating on leaving Sand to go pick Mew up, post Ep 3.

i can only give you (everything i've got) - Ray saves Sand, this time.

give that guy a trophy - wherein Ray finds out Sand was the one who punched Top that one time

a taste of poison paradise - BOSTONRAY bad decisions worse friendships <3

tomorrow could be kinder - SandRay bathtub scene after Ray's crash

the point - communication is sexy

like the coming dawn - Nick's POV from Ray turning up at the caravan

two parallel lines - the BostonRay friendship I desperately need

So it’s been pretty much a week now and having rewatched the first episode of Only Friends a couple of times, and before the next episode drops Saturday I wanted to ramble and put down some thoughts I can look back on about how much I love this show so far. (I know it’s only been 1 episode but fuck it.)

Firstly, I want to compliment the aesthetics of the show. The styling of sets and the characters are striking. Lighting, soundtrack, the colouring of the scenes. I’m no film student or anything, but for me it’s a good looking show. And I love the vibes. It has an edge beyond that of the BL tag in my mind. It’s got those QAF and Skins vibes as well as other shows about young adults we had here in the UK that I watched growing up, and I love it.

The sex stuff (+mature/toxic behaviour). I’m aware there are various opinions and comparisons. Too little, too much. This show vs that show/movie. There’s space for all kinds of shows/stories. You want fluffy sure, second turn on the right. Want trauma inducing and everybody dies, keep heading straight at the crossroads. You have the right to not watch and let others enjoy what they enjoy. Regardless of gender/sexuality humans are flawed. They screw up their own lives and other peoples, and they fuck (except those who don’t). Personally, I consume anything that’s entertaining and god damn Only Friends is entertaining.

Anyway, personally, I thought the sex fit in nicely to the story. And I say story because I’m not really one to just want to watch or read about people shagging for the sake of it. Actually, I once submitted a story to a publisher and (feeling like Up’s character in Lovely Writer here) they wanted me to up the heat and add more sex. For me, I need a purpose, even if the sex is the purpose. For example Boston in this episode. Fucking was the reason. It was part of his character. The scene was for his gratification not the viewers. I loved it being all rushed and frantic and there being only one goal - to come. And mixing it with Nick wanking and them climaxing at the same time. Genius scene to be honest. And to follow that up later with them actually getting together and the classic fade to black. We know what’s gonna go down - Nick’s hand down Boston’s pants that’s what 😃

Then we have Top and Mew, a very different scene - slower, more intimate. These characters have very different intentions. Top chasing the goal of Mew’s virginity. To succeed he needs to go steady, lull Mew in by making him feel good. And then Mew who’s maybe pushing his limits as to what he’s comfortable with. As a once virgin myself, I can’t argue with him wanting a little attention, some kisses, and some chest groping lol. But in the end, he cant go all the way, at least not with a one night stand, so the scene shifts. Top maybe pushes it, but I’m glad he ended up being a decent guy (at least in this moment) and accepted Mew wasn’t ready.

So characters.

No point in me hiding it but I’m here because of Khaotung, Neo and First. Khao has had my heart since 2gether. Neo got added to that list after TonhonChonlatee (sorry Tonhon but Na was where it was at lol) and then the trinity was completed with The Eclipse with First. So, high on my Eclipse feels I’m hit with the Only Friends trailer and it was an immediate ‘sign me up’. Since then, Mark did get my interest, loved him in MSP and MLC, and I’ve also got to know Book and Force more since A Boss and a Babe (sorry if any Enchante lovers see this - at the time I only watched ep 1 and it didn’t grab me so have yet to finish it - maybe one day lol).

The fact Khaotung is playing him is a big bonus but have to say RAY is currently my favourite character. I have a soft spot for the characters who seem to be dealing with baggage and I would assume binge drinking, and considering himself ‘unimportant’ are likely signs (along with other bits seen from the trailer). He seems like a dickhead but is actually a squishy baby who needs love and protection (mainly from himself). At least my take so far. I am worried about him and his lack of self preservation, he’s lucky Sand was a stand up guy because handing your phone, car and yourself over to a stranger is a terrible idea. He was passed out and defenceless and if Sand was looking to take advantage in some way, he could have been in real trouble. (Thinks about the sobbing scene in the trailer) I hope nothing bad has or will happen to him if he’s in such a drunken state again. It’s sad he would have just accepted Sand and him had had sex because Sand was hot.

Moving on to SAND. Though a bit aggressive in a ‘I’m so done with everybody’ kind of way, he seems to be a decent guy who just wanted to take a piss in peace lol. We didn’t get too much of him. He gave me mature and big bro vibes and was rubbing Ray’s back when he was retching over the loo - wonder if he’s done that for anyone else in his life? He was a bit standoffish to start (rightly so at some points) but seemed to soften up a bit when Ray was genuinely apologising and saying thanks to him. Also, the slight look/hesitation when Ray asked him if he knew him in the bathrooms. Does he? Even if from a distance? Can’t wait to see where these two go from here.

Next. BOSTON. Well, he certainly likes to get his end away. I don’t dislike him (yet). Screwing around doesn’t make you a bad person. Chasing after red wristbands might make you a little bit of a dick, but I’m generally less against the ‘third party’ and more judging the one who has a partner who is doing the cheating (though here it was more an open, we enjoy a threesome relationship he was getting entangled in). Anyway, I enjoyed Boston and his facial expressions, and his ‘hunting’. Will reevaluate when he starts breaking hearts.

And first in line to get his heart broken, NICK. Not sure our boy will be getting employee of the month snooping through customer phones and jerking off to their half naked selfies lol. He seems a nice enough guy, and as with all the characters it was a decent intro to him. I enjoyed the tension between him and Boston. He recognised him from uni it seems so maybe had his eye on him and finally got a chance to interact, which they certainly did. The preview already showed him getting attached so I’m ready for him to be heartbroken 💔

MEW. A seemingly precious baby who just wants to read his books and save his virginity for something more meaningful than a one night stand. Haven’t much to say about him at the moment as taking him at face value for now. But interested to see how he gets to the point of yeeting Boston into the pool in the trailer lol.

TOP. *narrows eyes* I have no idea if I trust him. He clearly had one mission at the start, but then based on his and Mew’s conversation over ice cream, and how it seems others only view him as the top of the top, a prize to hook up with, I did feel like he was genuinely surprised and intrigued by Mew stopping the hookup before sex. In his scene with Boston, he also said he wanted to date Mew, but because he found him interesting. I don’t know if it’s still a bit of a challenge to him to get Mew to date him because it’d be fun, so whether his goal is still to try and get laid and then he’d dump Mew and move on… We’ll see I guess *side eyes trailer*

(NAM?)CHEUM. Not too much of her but she fits in well as the fourth member on the main friend group. Would be interesting to see how they know each other and for how long. Guess we’ll have to wait and see if she gets a storyline of her own or if, as she had a red wristband on, it’ll be happy lesbian shenanigans now and again to contrast everyone else’s drama and her being there observing her friends self destruct.

Thinky thoughts going into the next episodes.

1. Please tell me the guy Yo is with in the intro is called Lo.

2. I’m wondering if Papang is playing Nick’s boss. Can’t remember the trailer scene setting well other than a laptop in front of them. Maybe he catches Nick and Boston on the cctv.

3. Top & Boston scene in the trailer. Could it be a flashback? Didn’t feel like a flashback but who knows. Assuming it’s not, I wonder what gets Top to a point where he can’t wait for Mew anymore and bangs Boston? Did they have a fight? Were they ‘on a break’? Did Mew pick Ray or something else over him? (I’ve seen the outfit analysing lol)

4. I’m gonna repeat here that I’m worried Ray will get himself in some real trouble getting blackout drunk. He has his arm in a sling in one scene in the trailer so there could be an accident or a fight. But he’s also a sobbing mess and Mew comforting him and well… I hope he stays safe.

5. Interested to see who and how Title’s character will tie into what’s going on. Pilot trailer implied he’s a friend/worked at the bar with Sand.

6. Nick already got them heart eyes. Poor boy’s gonna suffer. But props for the bold move of sending Boston that photo.

7. Oh yeah, Drake! I’d gone with it maybe being Papang out of the cast we knew about from the trailer. Well done to the people who were like ‘that’s Drake’ lol. I had joked about hoping they just brought in a whole bunch of the gmmtv boys to play one night stands or drunken kisses on the dance floor so I’m one for one for boys and episode so far lol.

8. Mew hiding behind and pushing Cheum towards a vomiting Ray in the first scenes was everything lol.

9. Ray’s outfits 😍

10. They did pretty well covering up The 1975’s poster in Sand’s apartment as had to go see when I saw someone point it out (I can’t imagine trying to edit around moving, talking characters)

11. I feel sad that Ray cared more about his belongings than himself.

12. Sand’s ‘I am so done’ face. Especially when Top ‘borrowed’ his mic.

13. And about that. Public propositions like that are a hell no from me. I’d hate to be cornered like that. I mean it’s okay if you’re going to say yes I suppose. But what if it’s not a yes? Like what do you do in front of everyone. Say no and look like the asshole?

14. Top washed his hands after going to the bathroom. Top tier indeed.

15. That intro sequence going from one character to the next - very cool. Also the days of the week montage.

16. Dear Ray, please don’t throw up again. *lowers volume a little bit* 🤢

17. Props to the friends wanting to turn the theory business plan of a hostel into the real thing. I think I’d be Boston in the group and just be dragged along and agree to whatever lol.

18. That intro is definitely a non-skip. Everybody be looking damn fine!

19. Watching everyone’s expression regarding Ray, Mew and Top. Boston knows Ray likes Mew and damn if he doesn’t seem to enjoy poking at him. Also at one point I started to wonder if there was anything else beyond jealousy between Ray and Top. Probably just Ray having had some drinks so reacting in no way subtly lol. And then Mew’s expressions when Ray leaves both times. Does he know? Is he just concerned his friend is storming off and drinking? Hmm.

20. Let Ray and Boston kiss you cowards lol

Bring on episode 2.

i know we're tired by now, but i have one take on only friends characters that i think we might be overlooking because of our own personal attachments (to them AND the actors).

you might have heard before of mirror/parallel characters (if you haven't, i'd recommend the read about it because it's very interesting) and whether it's the writers' purpose or not, i think we have these in the main six.

"Parallel characters, also known as mirror characters, are characters who share many similarities with each other. These similarities can be related to the characters' personalities, backgrounds, or motivations. By having so much in common, they are then able to highlight the differences between their decisions. The characters complement each other while revealing truths about each other that would otherwise have been difficult to spot."

my two cents on who is mirroring who in only friends is:

top - ray

mew - sand

boston - nick

if you leave favouritism at the door and pay real attention to these characters' background and personalities you'll see they're actually very similar, but they're moving on different directions because of, obviously, their different realities, surroundings, etc. what makes us, us.

top and ray are both rich kids with a sad past, and apparently problems with their parents, who ended up turning to drugs as a coping mechanism; both used to getting what they want, when they want and not taking a no for an answer. and funnily enough, maybe that's why they both despise each other (and fell for mew). i think these two are the most obvious mirror and it's what makes funnier to watch how different are the fandom's reactions for their actions every week. they're pretty much the same font, in different notebooks.

mew and sand are also easy to notice: quiet guys that are mostly worried about doing their own things and not messing with anyone's business; both very vocal about their needs and intentions and the only ones who seem to know how to draw and not to cross a line. the fact they end up getting involved with top and ray draws another interesting mirror: we can see two pairs with people that are pretty similar, but with very different routes.

it's almost like saying: hey, look at a&b and now look at c&d - this is what a&b could've been, under these circumstances - with different choices.

for boston and nick, i feel like it's more of a reach, but you can see they also have their similarities or they wouldn't have hit from the start (like let's be for real, that was insanity). i see them as the only ones that could understand each other, to the point that boston might not even think nick bugging his car was creepy (just be pissed bc it was behind his back). but then again, boston wears his insanity proudly while nick is more reserved: still, deep down they're very alike (in nick's own words, he's also nasty).

on another note, we have the public view on all of this: you just don't see them reacting with the same fervor about the similarities of the characters. for example, top has been painted as a red flag for doing things ray has as well - but ray is a lonely guy who needs love and care; not top. meanwhile, sand have been clapped as the most unproblematic character, but mew is definitely plotting something behind his good guy act. on boston and nick, there's just not much discourse even tho boston is pretty much the drama, so i'll leave it at that, but i think we took longer to judge nick for his actions, since he is quieter.

there's a quote that says:

"It is funny how different mirrors reveal different aspects, it must be like people you meet, you get to prefer the ones who show an image of you that you like." — Alain Bremond-Torrent

which i see like: even though these characters are very much alike, people keep picking this or that side because of their own perspectives on life, which don't necessarily means this or that character is in the wrong or is better than the other, but some interpretations have been muddled because of their own traits (or preferences?).

back to my first point, i don't know if the writers intended to make them like this on purpose, but the weekly discourse is showing how the reactions on very sensitive topics are just not the same if you just switch the character (or may i say, the actor?), to what i believe is one of the reasons behind writing mirror characters.

but the conclusion is, none of these characters are blank pages and they all have their wrongs. it doesn't make them villains or protagonists - they're all just parallel lines going through this mess and i wish we, as viewers, could be more impartial when judging those actions. when something is wrong, it is, no matter the one behind it. so let's stop witch-hunting some while patting the head of others.

Damn I'm so pissed now.

Atom really said "I'm the real villian of this story", didn't he?

Listen, Ton is not a saint, he did some shitty things, but looking back at all the events of the series so far, he actually did less shitty things than other main characters (except Cheum). Yes, he did sleep with Top. But to be honest, Ton was free to do whatever the fuck he wanted to, Top was the one in the relationship and he's the one, who should've keep it in his pants. It's not like Ton forced him (hell, Top pushed Ton away several times before, so he COULD'VE set boundaries between them).

And later, Ton never lied about it. Yes, he didn't tell everyone right away, but he had no reason to. Until he was asked. When he was asked, he didn't lie about it and admitted it. You might say he's shameless and that he doesn't care about consequences (which might as well be the truth) but it also makes him honest. And despite being pissed for being blamed (much more than Top, which is like wtf) and because he found out Nick wired him, he actually never complained about his friends yelling at him and being pissed. He might have been pissed, but I feel like he knew that the earfull he got was due.

Yes, he pulled out Ray's feelings for Mew in front of Sand. It was shitty, but the whole argument didn't have to happen, if Ray had the balls to say "Yes, I had feelings for Mew. Maybe I still haven't recovered from the fact he rejected me, but now I love you (Sand) and I don't want to be with Mew anymore." or "Yes, I have feelings for Mew, I'm trying to move on. I have some feelings for you, but right now I'm not sure we can be a serious thing."

Ray just sent Ton to hell and never cleared things with Sand. Yes, Ton was shitty for bringing it up, but as we saw, it was something that needed to be dealt with and caused some issues later.

And most importantly, Ton was always straightforward and honest with his hook-ups. He always told the guys he slept with that he's only there for sex and it will be one time thing. He always said he's not looking for serious relationship.

He was taking pictures of guys he slept with, but always with consent and always kept them for himself or gave some to the person in the photo.

That brings me back to the piece of shit named Atom.

Atom KNEW what he was getting into (Ton told him his view on sex and relationships). HE was the one who was pursuing Ton (Ton even rejected him several times, telling him to go away) and Atom WILLINGLY slept with him. And then was so shocked that Ton did what he told him he's always doing. I get that getting your delulu fantasies shattered hurts, but it was so damn SHITTY of him to bluntly lie to Cheum like that. He definitely knew that Ton will get shit (well, he probably wanted that so-) and that eventually the truth will come out. I totally get why Cheum stood up for Atom, he's her brother. But I don't get why Mew and Ray dumped Ton that quickly too. I mean Cheum was blinded and wouldn't listen, but the boys should've taken Ton's words more into consideration. Plus they know Ton and they know he never forced/tricked somebody into sex nor that he ever blackmailed anyone. (Like ... Mew and Ray are now teaching Ton morals, guys, start with yourself before preaching...)

And again, when Cheum came to confront Ton, he was honest, straightforward and told them the truth. He willingly showed them the photos he took and didn't really fight with them, only argued with the truth.

Ton is not the most innocent or flawless person on this earth, but he's being treated unfairly. He's blunt and doesn't watch his mouth, but is always honest and straightforward. Ton never did anything bad or wrong, just low-key shitty, but not really bad. But he's always the one being blamed because he's an easy target. He shouldn't be getting shit for having his wild lifestyle. Especially since he's telling the truth and didn't do anything bad.

Nick is the only person who can see this. He sees the good in Boston, acknowledges him as something more than "the shitty guy" and geniuely likes him. Nobody of those people deserves to be Ton's friend, except Nick. The only person who takes Ton seriously.

I feel sorry for Boston. As wild as it is, he's the only person, who didn't do anything bad so far. I hope the boy gets proper redemption and that Ray, Cheum, Mew and especially Atom get the shit for treating him like trash.

I'm sorry that this is so long, I just needed to vent. Did it help? Probably not, I'm still pissed and I'll forever be.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk, peace out.

Only Friends Ranking - Ep 4

Genuinely had to sit and think on this for a bit and watch certain parts of the ep again (oh what a burden) and ponder my own reactions a little. I fucking love this show.

But I want to add a little disclaimer, since I guess it's needed: these opinions are subjective. I'm not objectively sitting here ranking the messiness I'm subjectively ranking how much the messiness (or lack thereof, for now) entertains me personally. It's not a statement of fact over which character is the "villain" or the "good guy" because frankly, I don't think we have any of either (maybe in their own heads, but not in the show itself).

Okay. That out of the way let's do this.

Character Rankings (Fave to Least Fave atm)

Sand. Yep he's back on top, it felt weird to demote him last week but he was much less boring this ep. I think I'm starting to get a better read on him, which I didn't have before, and I'm enjoying what I see. While I would like him to be much more guarded against Ray in particular, I think he's just too forthright. Not just with other people but also with himself. And I wonder how much of that stems from his situation. Back before ep 1 First said that Sand doesn't have time, he is patient, he has to do a lot of things just to make ends meet, and I think that extends to his personal life as well. He knows Ray's a bad idea and he also knows he's gonna walk right into it, and I am tentatively hopeful that this is what will make him come out okayish in the end. Because at the end of the day he still isn't gonna have time for bullshit, either other people's or his own. I feel like Ray's gonna fuck that up a bit (or a lot) for a while, but in the end he'll reset to form, probably a little more jaded but altogether still fairly whole. I think that's about all we can ask for him.

I hope that the ex shows up for real. Flashbacks are fun but I want a little bit of mess and it seems clear to me that Sand still has unresolved feelings there, maybe Top too. I am also more sure than ever that he has some serious anger issues and I think we might get to see the Return of the Bat, and I for one am so very here for it. He still seems the most put together out of all of them which is a little disappointing, but again, I do wonder how much of that is because he doesn't have the time to give into the hot mess he really is. I'm very very curious to see how his relationships with both Nick and Ray affect that moving forward, because it seems like regardless of what went down with Top and the ex that better be Mix or I will revolt, he tends to keep himself fairly restrained, and those two are so openly messy and so very unrestrained that you can practically feel the car crash coming (hopefully not in the literal sense).

Also people need to stop calling him a green flag like yesterday. He is not. He's just better at compartmentalizing, give him two episodes I feel it in my bones he's gonna turn out to be a messy messy bitch.

Mew. Never let it be said that I can't admit that I was wrong. I still think that Mew is manipulative but I no longer believe that he is specifically keeping Ray on the line. Ray is keeping himself on the line, every time Mew tries to yank him off he just bites in harder. Which means it's really gonna sting in so many different ways when Mew eventually decides fuck it and does what Ray's been begging him for for two years, because I'm not sure the feeling will be there then either. But I still expect it - frankly the real surprise for me would be if Mew and Ray end the show without fucking. And while I guess it's still possible that they did sleep together two years ago in the current timeline Mew has put a firm "no" down - at least for now. And I have to respect him for it.

Kinda wish he'd stop talking Sand up to Ray though. For one, the more he pushes Sand at him the less likely Ray will actually develop organic feelings for him. For two, he needs to back away from Ray's love life wholesale until Ray no longer wants him to be intimately involved in it. It's just smarter, although I can understand why Mew might think differently.

Then again if he wants to keep noticing how lovely Sand is (he is Mew, good taste no notes) he can go right on, because I wasn't kidding when I said I was shipping this. Maybe instead of Ray Mew should have Sand be his ill-advised hookup after things with Top blow up. I for one would not say nay.

I genuinely thought I'd be annoyed if Mew were not some sort of mastermind, but I'm not. At all. That said, I still don't think he's half as innocent as the show wants us to believe. And I still feel like he's playing with Top. Oh, Top is playing back, a little, but there's something about the way he looks sometimes and the things he says ("I don't want to hide anything from you / I need you to be honest with me") that makes me feel like he's still got more going on than we're seeing. Also he has to know that Top's not gonna stop doing drugs if he sexes him up. There was something about that whole interaction that struck me as weird. I can't put my finger on it right now but it's one of the things that I am going to be chewing on in the days to come, I can already tell.

Ray. This one was a surprise, and I want to be clear. I do not like this guy, and yes, a lot of that stems from the fact that he's set up to hurt my fave, but also he's a wrecking ball in human form and the worst thing about him is that he is an aimless one. Boston is a wrecking ball too but he's pointing himself in one direction; Ray just swings wildly in every direction because he himself is aimless, he doesn't know who he is or what he wants and that is dangerous, especially when you add in his substance abuse and his struggles with depression (look I don't like armchair psychoanalyzing but yeah, depression is what I am going to call it). He feels worthless and hopeless, he hates himself, and the problem with that is that no one else will ever be enough. He will turn his hatred against anyone who cares for him because he hates himself so much that he truly does not understand how anyone else could like him, and the self-hate turns into a weird derision for anyone who tries to see past the shell.

Mew is only exempt from this, I think, because he doesn't want Ray in the way Ray so desperately wants to be wanted. He loves him, he cares for him and tries to build him up, but he is not in love, he can and will step away if Ray is becoming too much, he will set boundaries and stick to them. So Ray's ire can't fall on him because he's reinforcing all the things Ray thinks about himself: that he's a burden, that he's too much, that he drives people away, that he's so unlovable even his own mother couldn't love him.

Sand, however. Sand is gonna fall right into the trap that Ray is laying for him, and oh boy is Ray gonna make him pay for it.

I was surprised by how much he seems to have held on to all the mean things Sand's called him, though. Not that he held on to them as further proof of who he is but that it was Sand specifically that was calling him those things. That was interesting and unexpected.

I do not think that Ray genuinely cares about either Mew or Sand as people at this juncture, but I also don't think that it's on purpose. He's a drowning man grasping at any and everyone within reach who is treading water, and he can't look past his own panic at not being able to get enough air to understand or care if he's dragging others down with him.

So yes. I do not like him but I find him utterly fascinating and Khaotung is killing it. That bathtub scene was amazing and painful (and yes I'm still feeling smug for calling it, mostly because I made a bet with my friend and now they owe me fic. Man do I love profiting off of being right. It's like Christmas AND my birthday) and finally made me understand why he clings to Mew so hard, and why he will keep clinging in spite of everything that happened this ep, in spite of having someone else who wants to care for him the way Mew won't, in spite of probably trying to think of something (or someone) else.

But the sad, sad truth that Ray will have to face (maybe not in this show but eventually, as a character) is that it's no one else's job to fulfill him, and they can't anyway. He's gotta learn to love himself before he can really love anyone else, or let them love him. I can't get over the idea that at some point he's gonna have to break his own heart to figure that out.

Nick. He gets this spot just for the way he smiled at Top like "bitch I know Boston's the worst, do you really think I'm not?" I knew he wasn't gonna go to Mew with the sex recording though because he wants Boston and breaking Top and Mew up at this point is counterproductive to his goals. Still think that he should blackmail Boston into a real relationship though. Opportunity wasted. Also he's making me very wary of wanting to take my phone into IT if I ever break it, lol. Because you know Boston didn't give him his passcode.

I'm also curious why he went for Top because he has to know it was Boston pushing things this whole time.

Boston. He went from winning last ep to being kind of pathetic this ep. The elevator scene in particular. I was embarrassed for him. Don't tell me that he really thought that Top would just give up and start fucking him on the regular after one night? Come on. Top's pettier than that, my dude. He's gonna make you feel like a pathetic loser for it as well as renew his efforts with Mew just to prove that he can do everyone one better.

I have to admit I am curious what makes him pull the "I want to try settling into something" thing with Nick next ep. Does he suspect that Nick knows more than he's saying? Does Top outright tell him he does?

I am also looking forward to him or NIck causing some havoc with Ray and Sand. One of them is gonna spill the RayMew beans, right? Boston would do it out of pure nastiness, but Nick I think values Sand as a friend and would do it as a warning. Or maybe he's like Boston and will hold onto it for when Sand pisses him off...

Top. Frankly unless we find out that Boston has further evidence of Ray and Mew actually fucking or at least showed him some sort of manipulated vid, I think he's a complete dumbass. You don't get to police who the guy you're with now kissed before he even knew you existed (or did he? 👀👀👀). Literally the only reason I was on his side was that if they fucked it was less about the fucking and more about the deliberate dishonesty, but let's be real, even that is a little sketch. Especially when you yourself don't know how many people you've slept with.

However I also kind of want to be weirdly charitable and say that maybe it has less to do with being pettily annoyed that Mew *dared* to have some sort of non-platonic contact with someone else before him and more being blindsided by how much the idea of Mew playing with him hurt. Whether that's because players hate being played or because he has genuine feeling for Mew I'm on the fence about.

But I still think Boston showed him sex. Because he was very insistent about that point. Whether it was RayMew sex or something else I do believe there was something. And I wanted to look at that scene again to see what Mew's face does when he replies but youtube at this point youtube told me to go f myself so no dice.

Also I think we all called the addiction problems. Dude's a mess. And he's not going to stop being a mess for sex.

Relationships (most to least fave atm)

This time I'm not just going to include romantic relationships because finally we're seeing some real meat out of the other interactions.

BostonNIck. Genuinely I think these two of the best chance of actually working out right now, very much in a "they deserve each other" way. Neither one of them knows what boundaries are and they're both obsessive af. If they turn that on each other they're doing society a favor, lol.

SandTop. You know what I would love? If Top was actually into Sand and deliberately lured his ex away to make him available. Of course that's not where we're going but that's why fanfiction exists. But weirdly I do think that Sand hates Top more than Top hates him - maybe he feels remorse for stealing his ex. Maybe they were friendly before he did that. I don't know. I do know that I want them to make out about it and I will never stop. You hear me? I will. Never. Stop.

SandNick. These two are gonna be fun. You can just tell by the way that Sand didn't even bat an eye when Nick was like hey listen to this audio recording I got when I bugged my FWB's car.

TopMew. Both still playing games. The balance of power between these two fascinates me because it seems to switch back and forth at will. I still feel like neither of them is *really* feeling much but I wonder if and when that will change.

MewRay. It's the only thing I can't make myself ship, but I thought that their whole dynamic was super interesting this ep. I can understand Mew trying to build Ray up, especially as he seems to be the only one who is privy to how deep Ray's issues go, and I can also understand Ray latching on to him hard because of that. When he kissed Mew while Mew was trying to sleep I recoiled from my screen so hard it physically hurt, lol. I do not know if that was the intention but it's what happened. Ideally I'd love it if they came out of this mess stronger friends but not sleeping together or paired romantically, but I don't have the highest hopes for it.

SandRay. I'm gonna be frank. Ray doesn't need a boyfriend. He needs a therapist and possibly a stint in rehab. Sand's gonna bash himself on this one like a bird against glass and it's gonna hurt him a lot. They're gonna flare hot and bright and burn to ash, but maybe, just maybe, they'll be able to emerge from the ashes as friends. It isn't lost on me that they do genuinely seem to get on even when they're not preluding to sex. For me this really depends on how fast it falls apart. If they've split by ep 9 I can really see a friendship emerging from this, but if not...nope.

Franky this one worries me. Because Ray latches on and it would be very easy for him to become far too dependent on Sand far too fast, and that's the last thing that either of them needs. Whether they fall in love or not (and I still think Sand will and Ray probably will not) is immaterial. If Sand (because for better or worse it's gonna have to be Sand) doesn't catch on fast enough to what Ray's doing with him it's gonna spell trouble, even without any interference from an outside party or even counting in Ray's continued feelings for Mew.

Sand clearly wants to be with Ray as equals, whether their relationship remains just friends or something else. And Ray is incapable of fulfilling that wish as he is.

SandMew. New ship alert! They should make out. The only reason it gets lowest billing is that it's a pipe dream comprised of one line from Mew and the fact that they both would be very good at communicating their needs with each other, at least from what we've seen thus far.