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greekbros · 3 years

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"greek-Bros: When in Rome, wait wut?" (part 3)

*the bois have decided to take a trip to Rome, where rumors of a terrible and barbaric empire have spread throughout Greece that the country has been "ripped off" and shortselled from everything from housing to prostitutes. As the patron gods of Greece, it has been decided amongst themselves to witness this themselves. Disguised as mortals, they enjoy the typical Roman pastime of going to the coliseum after having a rather disappointing tour of the city.*

Dionysus, Apollo and Hermes: *all three either bored or mildly uncomfortable, are watching gladiators chase the world's most fastest Christian (whom seems to be out lasting them)*

Dionysus: .....it's been 2 hours. *Takes a sip of roman wine out of desperation, spits it out and winches* what the fuck this is practically saffron water?

Apollo: I have to admit....they did an amazing job at completely replicating several parts of Athens and Delos....a little too amazing.

Hermes: ....you guys think I should draft that Christian to my team marathoners for this year's Olympic games? I mean he's been going at it for like 2 hours I mean that pretty impressive...

Dionysus: DUDE don't you see, these guys are fucking crazy, that guy is running for his life for 2 hours from those clearly enslaved individuals from *looks at the gladiators*...ugh....I see......I don't know but they clearly aren't Romans.

Apollo: Dionysus is right, these Romans clearly have no sense of decency for the fellow man obviously.

Hermes: ...he is DEFINITELY getting drafted for my team.

Some random Roman over hearing them: Oi! Are you Romans?

The Bois: *slowly turn to the stranger*.....

SRR: Yeah, non-Roman folk must pay the "non-Roman tax"! And if you're tourists, you also have to pay the "Tourists tax"!

Apollo: ....what if they're traveling merchants?

SRR: than they pay the "Merchants tax"!

Dionysus: what kind of a hell hole makes people pay hyperspecific taxes?

SRR: *dial-up noises* ......what. are. Your names?

Apollo: um.......Phoebus?

Dionysus: ummmm.....bob?

Hermes: Freddy Mercury.

Apollo and Dionysus: *turns to Hermes*.....

SRR: *very roman dial-up noises* ......YOURE NOT ROMANS! You're those poser Greeks that totally stole our cultural aesthetic!

Apollo: WHAT?! *suddenly the air just feels like 5° warmer*

Dionysus: dude stop or they'll figure us out!

Hermes: Come on man, we can't use our godly powers on mortals while in disguise, it's a rule.

SRR: GUARDS! THERES TWO GREEKS AND A MALE SEX SLAVE HERE!

Apollo: wut? Again?!?

Dionysus: yeah um what?

SRR: Yes! Blonde headed people are strictly RESERVED for slavery. Sexual slavery!

Apollo: *sees the brown paint has faded away and starts getting flustered* THAT IS IT! I TIRE OF THIS OPPRESSION OF THE PEOPLE!

Dionysus: aaaaaand here we go.

*suddenly a literal sun ray strikes the two guards and SRR, killing them. The whole coliseum witness this*

Apollo: oops...I guess I got a little carried away.

Hermes: yeah. OOPS. Like last time.

Apollo: look that Oracle had it coming.

Dionysus: um guys we got a bigger problem.

*several guards surround them*

Apollo, Dionysus and Hermes: *all three raise their arms* .......

Hermes: ......well...this will be interesting.

Dionysus: come guys, why don't we just talk it out, chill and have some wine? I can make it in no time.

A Roman centurion: What's wrong with roman wine?

Dionysus: it's diluted as hell you should be drinking the finest undiluted wine pure and simple.

Roman Centurion: .... only smelly, dirty barbarians drink undiluted wine. Besides that's not what our Lord and Party Savior Bacchus would have wanted. He would have wanted the most elite Romans to enjoy the most delicate of wine.

Dionysus: OH FUCK YOU GUYS THAT IS IT!! *just straight up reveals himself in normal form* NOW YOU ALL SHALL SUFFER INTERNAL MADNESS FOR SOLLYING THE NAMES OF THE GREAT GODS!

Hermes: aaaand this is always what happens when he doesn't get enough wine in his system.

Apollo: I'd offer him some....but I ran out several hours ago.

*outside of the coliseum*

Gaius: HAVE YOU SEEN THIS EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE MAN!?!

A Roman Women: .....no.

*suddenly chaos from purple haze to sun beams, animal roars and people screaming come from the coliseum*

Gaius: *turns around* AHHA! IM HOT ON THEIR TRAIL! Thank you citizen. *Trots off to the coliseum*

*inside*

Dionysus: I AM TOO SOBER TO FEEL PITY FOR UOU PITIFUL CREATURES!

That one Christian runner: *cowardly shaking watching what looks like hell breaking lose*

Hermes: *riding an escaped elephant* HEY BUDDY YOU WANT A RIDE TO FREEDOM!?

Christian Runner: Are you satan?! Here to take my mortal soul?!

Hermes: No my dude! I'm the messenger of the gods! Yah wanna join my marathon draft? It's a sweet ass team!

Christian Runner: An angel of the lord? I guess so....*hops on to a clearly not christian adventure*

Hermes: HIGH HO JUMBO! TO THE DOWNFALL OF THESE LOSERS! *elephant trumpets epically*

Apollo: *shooting at random guards and sees Gaius* Oh hello there!

Gaius: *mouth agape seeing the true identity of apollo*.....you're....you're really a-

Apollo: Apollo, nice to meet you.

Gaius: *blushes* ....so ugh...you're not going to smite me for almost selling into sla-*gets picked up* oh.

Apollo: No. I think I'll keep you.

Gaius: ....oh ok. *Has completely submits to this* ...*thinks* {Holyshit this sexy greek god got me questioning my loyalty to Rome!......I NO LONGER DESIRE ROME.} Take me oh glorious one.

Apollo: yey! New boyfriend!

Dionysus: *desperately tries to find water to turn into wine and finds several amphoras, touches them and it turns into his wine, chugs* AHHH....much better....*turns to see several other captured Christians* ......oh hi would you like some?

The christians: *stare in awe as basically an ethically different man with long dark hair just turned water into wine*

Dionysus:....we can set you guys free if you want.

The Christians: A HAIL OUR LORD AND SAVOR!

Dionysus: d'aaawww guys stahp. *Blushes*

*later after leaving Rome*

Zeus: .......you did what to the Romans?

Dionysus: we taught them a valuable lesson.

Apollo: Plus we have brought friends!

Giaus: *enjoying his new greek lifestyle*

Hermes: *to the christian runner* ok, so this season, the Egyptian teams has the best runners from all of Africa, but don't worry buddy. *Pats his back* I believe in you.

The Christian Runner: *sheds a tear* thank you great angel.

Hermes: *still has no idea what an angel is*

*on Delphi*

Dionysus: -and everyone is entitled to free love and respect, acceptance is the key to a happy life and wine is best drink. *The Christians cheer still convinced dionysus is jesus*

#greek bros #greek gods #greek mythology #greek myth memes #dionysus #hermes #apollo #roman vs greek jokes #blood of zeus

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thatoneitaliangirl · 4 years

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Obey Me! Soulmate AU Asmodeus

Asmodeus’s chapter was the whole reason I even started this whole series. I had the idea for his in my head and was like, “I can’t write one and not the others.” lol. Of course, it took me forever to get this part out because of personal reasons, but in the end, I think it came out pretty good! I hope you guys like this part and I look forward to hearing your responses!~ And just as a reminder, these are all going to be multiple parts each, so if it seems like it left off at a cliff hanger, it did lol. Also, there's a song mentioned in here called Sandra Dee, and its a song from the musical Grease. You don’t have to know the song or the tune since its just a little thing, but if you want to hear it, please check it out! Its a fun song to bop too lol.

Opening Paragraph

Asmodeus was fine with how his life was going. Party all the time, all the men and women he could want; there wasn't a thing he was missing. But even so, he was probably the most eager of his siblings to find their soulmates. He could only imagine what they would be like!

Stunningly beautiful, very well experienced, willing to do . . . All sorts of naughty things. His mouth was practically salivating at the twisted little fantasies going through his head. And even though he doesn't think he's very capable of love, he doesn't care!

I mean, the one night stands are fine and all, but who was he to complain if he were to come home from a night of partying to a nice piece of ass willing to grant him his second wind. Well, this is Asmo we're talking about, so more like his eighth wind. But all the money, sex, drugs, and nightclubs in the Devildom could not have prepared him for this . . .

Taking the glittering key from his 'older' brother, Asmodeus smiles and places the key into the hole . . . Only to imagine a school setting. Unlike where they had found their adorable exchange student, this school was smaller in size, with only one building.

Entering through the door, Asmodeus smirks. Of course, his s/o would be prowling around a college campus! This is where most sex and partying goes on in the human world. "Maybe they're a lab rat!" Levi says, lolol-ing afterward. "Or like some smart know-it-all like Satan!" Mammon joins. Clearly, the two think they're funny.

"And what does that matter to you? I always wanted a sexy scientist." The brothers blush and try to rephrase themselves. Imagine that! They thought they could fluster Asmo? How long have they been brothers? Even back in the Celestial Realm, their comments were never able to bother him.

And a few millennia of being a hoe, you learn to ignore others' opinions of you. It's not as if he's ashamed of it; he's the Avatar of Lust for fuck's sake! It's just that, deep down, he has those little insecurities. The ones that tell him he's not worthy of love.

That his reputation makes him disgusting, unappealing, and dirty. He's been able to push those way down into the depths of the Devildom, but all this has made them resurface. A little bit.

"I wonder what they're wearing? Maybe a little cleavage? Oh, I hope so!~" As the brothers follow Asmo through the school, they all have the feeling things aren't going to go the way Asmo thinks they are. Lucifer especially isn't too confidant there's a human or being out there that could satisfy the pure lust Asmo has.

Though it's not shown often, these sins are like a curse to the brothers. Similar to Beel not being able to stop the hunger, Asmo can't stop the lust. And despite all the shit they give Mammon, they know he can't stop the greed. Though for some of them, they've been able to push it down and control it, a few of them physically can't survive without their sin.

Again, Beel is a perfect example. This poor human is going to have to spend their life attempting to satisfy every need of Asmo's. "I think a left here . . . Oh! This door feels right!~" With dramatic flair, Asmodeus opens the door.

Hello! Welcome to the Wetbord College Art room! How can we help you?" A girl with long blond hair and sparkling eyes greets the boys. One look at her and Asmo can tell that she's not the one. Not that she's not attractive. Any normal day, he would have her charmed, naked, and on his bed in a matter of seconds. With nimble fingers, Asmo lifts the girl's hand into his and kisses the top.

"Hello, darling. We're looking for a girl, about your age," She giggles and smirks. "If that's how you pick up girls, then I'd hate to see your track record. Though, with a little more smooth talk, you may have my attention."

Asmo smirks, hiding his irritation. As if he would ever have to try. If he really wanted to, he could have her begging for him to fuck her while he held her by that pretty blond hair of hers, but this is not the time, nor place. "Actually, I'm serious. Her name is _____, I believe." Her smirk drops as Asmo lets go of her hand, and she pouts.

"Fine, if you really want to know where she is, she'll be here in a few minutes." A blue-haired girl wearing a pair of sorts and a paint-covered apron joins the conversation and puts in her two cents. "If you don't mind me asking, why do you want to see _____?" Asmodeus smiles and puts a hand on his hip.

"If you really want to know, darling, I'm going to fulfill her every sexual desire tonight. Wanna join?~" His eyes glow with anticipation. Obviously, these girls have the hots for him; who wouldn't? He's absolutely gorgeous and- His smile turns to a frown as the two girls begin to laugh loudly. One even has tears falling from her eyes as the other clutches her stomach.

"Sexual desires? Oh my God, I think I'm gonna pee myself!" The blond one says, hand resting on the blue-haired girl's shoulder. "And why is that such a joke to you? I'm sure she has a reputation." He says with certainty, though he doesn't actually know. He's just assuming based on his own preferences. Was that wrong?

Again, the girls begin laughing, this time whipping the tears from their eyes as they look at the seven brothers, all of whom are confused. "Let's just say, there's a reason everyone around town calls her Sandra Dee." They snicker at the nickname as Asmo raises an eyebrow.

"Who?" The blond one flairs out her skirt and dramatically batts her eyelashes before she begins to sing. "Look at me, I'm Sandra Dee-" Blue puts a hand on her hip and leans on blondy. "Lousy with virginity!~" Blondy holds out her left hand and wiggles her ring finger.

"Won't go to bed till I'm legally wed- I can't! I'm Sandra Dee!~" The two begin laughing again, much to Asmodeus' displeasure. Seriously, they sound like a band of cackling hyenas! "Are you guys making fun of me . . . ?" A meek and soft voice from beside them asks, the figure clutching a sketchbook.

"Oh, please, _____! Don't act as if we're bullying you." "Yeah," Blue buts in. "It's just a cute nickname." _____, face hidden behind her hair, turns around and walks out as the girls giggle to themselves. "Well, it bothers me . . ." Belphegor hears her whisper. It seems he's the only one to hear her since he's the closest to the door.

"Aren't you going to go after her?" Belphie asks Asmo, but stops short when he sees the look on his face . . . He seems shocked for the most part. His eyes are cast downward and his mouth is open just a few centimeters, with his eyebrows furrowed together. The world seems to sway around him as he tries to come to terms with what just happened.

What kind of sick joke was their father playing on them? All his brothers so far had wonderful soulmates with personalities that seemed to fit them perfectly. So then why did Asmodeus have to suffer like this? He's the former Jewel of the Heavens! Doesn't he deserve the best? "Asmodeus?" Lucifer puts a hand on his shoulder, bringing him back to reality. "I think it's best if I go home for now . . ."

#obey me! x reader #obey me! asmodeus x reader #obey me! asmodeus #obey me! lucifer #obey me! mammon #obey me! leviathan #obey me! satan #obey me! beelzebub #obey me! belphegor #soulmate au #soulmate #obey me! soulmate au #obey me! soulmate

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beelsfeels · 4 years

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A profile of my Obey Me OC, Shoshi! (Pronounced like Yoshi)

Picrew 1 Picrew 2

Name: Shoshi (short for Shoshana)

Age: 27

Pronouns: She/They

Sexuality: Bi

Height: 5′6″

Background: raised Jewish, got into Jewish Mysticism as an adult, began worshiping Lilith, and has Lilith's sigil tattooed beneath her bellybutton. She feels VERY awkward about it in the House of Lamentation.

Random HC: Namaah exists at RAD and is a totally hottie BAMF that Shoshi has a Huge Gay Crush on, to the point she can't really form cohesive thoughts around her, a fact that Satan and Asmodeus love to team up and exploit for the LOLs.

Summary: Horny-For-Yall Death-Wish with Crippling Anxiety. Copes with humor and memes. The ultimate self-insert.

Relationships with the brothers:

Lucifer:

- Shoshi and Lucy have a very complex relationship, she both admires and is intimidated by the eldest.

- Shoshi is a huge brat and it gets her in trouble a LOT with Lucifer. He goes easy on her though, which is good because her anxiety skyrockets when this man get That Look™️ when anyone is acting up.

- When Lucifer tried to intimidate her at Diavolo's weekend retreat while dancing, Shoshi straight up cussed him out and stormed off to the balcony to angry cry.

- Eventually had an argument so heated she wasn't sure if she was about to be murdered or have the best sex of her life.

- it was the latter

- they started casually dating after that, and Shoshi would often stay up late with Lucifer to keep him company while he does paperwork.

- Lucifer is very protective of her, and often walks her to each of her classes, a hand on her lower back. This draws many stares from the other students and becomes harder for her to make friends outside of the HoL.

- HC that Lucifer teaches one of her classes and she can NOT pay attention which earns her lots of after class "punishments"

- listen up, Morningstar

- "What did you just call me?"

- ::books it at high velocity towards wherever Diavolo is::

Mammon:

- Shoshi is his Ride or Die (Ride AND die more like) best friend.

- will destroy anyone who talks crap on the 2nd eldest.

- maybe a tiny human but WILL throw hands for his honor

- always ends in Mammon having to save her which is counterintuitive

- they share one (1) braincell when they are together and it's full of the literal worst ideas.

- snuggle buddies, Mammon won't admit he likes her out loud but will end up in her room Every Night that Lucifer hasn't already sanctioned her time.

- Jealous of her relationships with every other brother, but will tolerated a three way spoon with Beel since he's a walking teddy bear.

- "after this hare brained scheme we will have enough money to buy you a bigger bed"

- they never do

- invented a silent eye contact language for when Lucifer is lecturing them for hours about how irresponsible they have been.

Leviathan

-Leviachan! ::Jump hugs him::

-"Shoshi!! You can't just hug me without warning!"

-Levi is always having a heart attack around Shoshi either because she's flirting with him or she's absolutely crushing him at video games

-Shoshi would literally die for this boy, is absolutely in love with this Otaku king.

-she thinks it is unrequited until one night she's crushing him too hard at Mario Kart and he finds ways to... Distract her.

-Shoshi will protect Levi at all costs and he REALLY doesn't need her to, why does this human think she can take on everyone she's so bad at fighting.

-what that tail do?

-"please stop asking me that"

Satan

-fast burn enemies to lovers

-Satan does not appriciate Shoshi's humor, as it relates to him.

-"Shosh, do you want to study together tonight?"

-Not Today, Satan

-"Shoshi I brought you your homework"

-Hail Satan!

-Turns into her closest confidant

-lots of book reading, philosophical conversations, and wine nights

-Got Satan to join her in her morning yoga rituals to help with his wrath problem

-Loves going on dates with Satan, he's so upfront and honest, though not as affectionate as she would like

-she respects his personal space

-he lectures her on her "death wish" for all the times she says "fight me" unless it's to Lucifer then he buys her a new book or hands her a kitten he happened to have on hand.

-cat memes back and forth 24/7

-Her actual "first demon" 😉

-"You little brat" (that is a threat)

-she loves it

Asmodeus

- gossip girls

- weekly bath night, bubble bath, face masks, painting each other's nails

- Asmo gives her all the latest DevilDom gossip, and even when it's about people she doesn't know at all she will still chug that tea

- casual nakedness, don't pop into one of their hangouts if you're not ready for an eyeful

- Satan learned that the hard way

- Beel also did, but didn't mind as much

- has to literally put a ward on the door to keep Mammon from busting into Asmos room and dragging Shoshi out

- "no older brothers allowed" sign on the door.

- sneaks out to go clubbing, Shoshi doesn't drink much but she LOVES to dance

- "describe Lucifers abs to me, do not leave out any details"

- ASmo No! i don't want to die over some glorious abs!

- "excuse you, what would be a better way to die than that??"

- also has a secret language for when Lucifer lectures them, but it involves mostly puppy dog eyes and trying to guilt Lucifer into forgiving them

- has never worked once

Beel

- the most dramatic friendship 180 in the history of the DevilDom

- Shoshi thought he was an anger issues Jock who punches walls and threatens to eat her

- Well cannibal serial killers have stated on record that humans with tattoos don't taste that good so you probably shouldn't eat me

- can't believe that worked

- staying in his room after the kitchen incident and cuddling with him in bed, talking about the loss of their sisters, and how important family was, she realizes he was a soft boi that needed protected

- that night beel became her second demon 😉

- Shoshi loves cooking, so they cook together a lot, helping each other when they're in charge of meals

- Shoshi starts a vegetable and fruit garden outside the house of lamentation, teaching Beel how to grow food, which he takes to very well (after a few casualties of fully eaten tomato plants)

- this significantly helps the fridge situation at HoL, which all are grateful for

- the fridge checks, while occaisionally sexy, mostly actually involve Shoshi jumping at Beel to see if he will catch her (Brooklyn 99 gag style)

- "Beels what's your T-Shirt made of? Cause it feels like husband material"

- "oh, I think it's a demon cotton blend"

- I love you, my sweet Himbo.

Belphie

-Belphi take me to Majolish

-"No, I'm tired."

-Remember that one time you literally killed me

-"okay I'll be there in 5"

-Shoshi is the only one who could possibly out nap Belphie

-Beel/Belphie/ Shoshi cuddle puddles and snack nights.

-rarely hangs out with him alone because he did, in fact, murder her once

-They leave each other super soft pillows without notes or any context and it has turned into a rivalry to find the BEST pillow. Winner gets bragging and napping rights.

BONUS:

Diavolo

- You're my Dad! Boogie woogie woogie

- teaches him all the latest memes and dances

- No fear for this man, which disturbs and upsets pretty much everyone.

- one time Lucifer asked Shoshi to Please Stop asking the Prince of Demons for piggy back rides

- Shoshi told on Lucifer and in fact got MORE piggy back rides.

- They have Lucifer Imitation contests where they just say "Don't Dissapoint Diavolo" back and forth till one of them cracks up.

- Did not anticipate any sexy business with this Goliath Friend, but caught Luci and him smooching one time and one thing lead to another...

- Did not change their friendship at all, the Two Most Immature People In The Entire DevilDom

Solomon

- ::stranger danger siren goes off::

- I don't trust you Wizard boy

- Asmo said you can have a little rights, but you're on thin fucking Ice mister

- oh you got 72 demons? It'd be cooler if they were cats and dogs.

- only teams up with him for kareoke nights and other human themed activities because no one else understands

Things Shoshi has said without context:

"Why does everyone in this house have bigger titties than me"

"Lucifer took his gloves off and I almost passed out"

"I'm from the United States of America in the year of our Lord 2020, you can not scare me"

"It really do be YEET or be YEETED in this house, huh?"

"Mammon if you even look at that cat wrong I will round house kick you into the next century and claim my rightful place as second oldest"

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me MC #obey me OC #obey me headcannons

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tommynikkivincemick · 5 years

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three way call— part 5

Summary: Tommy Lee and Nikki Sixx find themselves in the frustrating predicament of being infatuated with the same woman. This calls for a competition.

Author’s note: So I was gonna put Tommy’s date with Y/N in this chapter but it was already getting super long so I decided the date will get its own chapter. I also tried to do a chapter that wasn’t 90% dialogue but it’s still at least like 75% dialogue. Anyway, here’s the new chapter! Feedback is always appreciated. Enjoy xx

Warnings: Language, sexual conversations, a little toxic masculinity.

Tommy would never admit it out loud to anybody but when Y/N spent the night in Nikki’s room with his face between her legs, he almost cried. He didn’t, because he wasn’t a pussy, but he really wanted to. It was also not good when the thing that woke him up that morning (well, more like afternoon) was more moaning from the bassist’s bedroom. Jesus Christ, Tommy thought, was Nikki’s jaw not sore by now? Knowing that he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep, the drummer rose and went to lock himself in the bathroom for the next hour to shower, brush his teeth, and tease his hair higher than the gods. After a while, he emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of steam and hairspray (still in his underwear, but by god, his hair looked fabulous) to find the other Twin sitting on the couch (also in his underwear) with a cup of coffee.

“Morning, T-Bone,” Nikki said with a surprisingly pleasant smile.

“Morning, Sixx,” Tommy replied suspiciously, “Where’s Y/N?”

“Still sleeping.”

“Were you not just eating her out a little while ago?” The younger Twin asked, pouring a cup of coffee for himself and grabbing a cigarette from his pack to smoke, trying hard not to sound bitter.

“Yeah, y’know, breakfast is the most important meal of the day and all that,” Nikki’s smile settled into a cocky smirk, “But she went back to sleep right after.”

“Really? I thought it was dessert,” Tommy commented, taking a seat beside the bassist and lighting his cigarette.

“Why the fuck would it be dessert?”

“Well I figure after I take her out for dinner and drinks tonight, Y/N will make a nice sweet treat.”

Nikki elbowed Tommy and the drummer laughed. They sat in silence for a few minutes, getting their caffeine and nicotine fixes.

“We gotta stop fighting, man,” Tommy said finally.

“It’s not fighting, it’s... banter,” Nikki dismissed.

“Well whatever it is, we gotta stop picking at each other all the time. It’s stressing out Y/N and I don’t like it either. I know we have this dumb bet but I don’t wanna lose you in the process, dude. You’re still my best friend and shit, you know.”

“Yeah, I get it. This is a whole fucked up situation. It sounded fun, but a couple days in and it’s already starting to be a drag. Not to be a little bitch, but you’re like my brother, I don’t wanna lose you either.”

“That’s a little gay, guys,” Vince yawned, emerging from his room.

“Dude we said we love each other, we didn’t say we wanna suck each other’s dicks,” Tommy laughed.

“Wouldn’t you, though?” The blonde mused pouring milk and sugar into a cup of coffee in the kitchen.

“NO!” Both Twins yelled, their cheeks turning a vivid shade of red.

“Mhm, okay,” Vince hummed dismissively, sitting in a chair near the couch, “So how goes the bet, boys?”

The Twins both groaned in exhaustion.

“She loves both of us, and it’s hell,” Nikki sighed.

“And we don’t wanna ruin our friendship in the process, which is also a hard thing to do,” Tommy added.

Vince nodded thoughtfully, but didn’t reply, as his eyes said all he needed to say: sounds like a you problem.

“So Tom, are you taking her out tonight?” The blonde said, changing the subject.

The drummer nodded with a smile.

“Yeah man, nothing too fancy. I think we might go out to that state park in Malibu, see the stars. She likes stars. We’ll probably go eat beforehand and then get some bottles and go out there and, y’know, see what happens.”

“Wine, dine, and sixty-nine; solid plan,” Nikki nodded.

“She’ll like that: Malibu is nice,” Vince agreed, “I’ve been meaning to take Lovey up there sometime.”

“Lovey is a cunt,” Nikki said automatically without even a moments thought.

“Hey, man— actually, you’re kind of right,” The singer shrugged.

“Who’s talking about that cunt, Lovey?” A female voice chimed in from Nikki’s bedroom.

“Nikki called her that— he didn’t even think about it!” Vince tried to keep himself from laughing about his friend insulting his girlfriend.

“Sorry— it’s a conditioned response. Like how a dog drools when Pavlov rings a bell? I call Lovey a cunt whenever I hear her name,” Nikki explained with a smirk, “Morning, gorgeous, how was your night?”

Y/N tilted the bassist’s chin up with her fingertips and gently kissed his lips.

“It was a good night, of course. Wanna maybe go fix me some coffee?” She asked the bassist.

He nodded and rose from the couch to go to the kitchen. She took his spot next to Tommy and settled into his side, her head on his shoulder.

“Sleep well?” She asked, looking up at him.

“Hm, well enough. What about you?” The drummer asked, in turn looking down at her.

“Like the dead,” She sighed, and then whispered, “I’m sorry if you heard anything from Nikki’s room last night. I don’t know how thick the walls are and I was drunk and—“

“It’s okay, baby, I get it; we all want. And I know you love Nikki, I don’t blame ya.”

She leaned up slightly and pecked him on the lips.

“But I love you, too, you know that, right?” She asked.

“I know, sweetheart, I love you too,” He said with a charming smile, leaning down and kissing her again, a little deeper, but keeping it short.

The more intimate Y/N became with the Twins, the more she noticed their subtle differences. For example, their scents; Nikki smelled like expensive whiskey (despite drinking mostly Jack Daniels), leather, luxurious pipe tobacco, blood, and incense. Tommy smelled like sand and surf, clean lime, sage, peppermint, and what might be sandalwood— though above both of them hung a thick layer of cigarette smoke and the liquor of the night. Where Nikki was dark and brooding, Tommy was bright and bubbly. Nikki’s love was all consuming and intense; Tommy’s love was easy and exuberant. If Nikki was a glass of wine, Tommy was a margarita. Tommy was an angel and Nikki was a devil. It was jarring how two totally different people could somehow look and act just alike.

She supposed that was part of the reason she loved them both so much; they were yin and yang but hey, to the eye they were both black and white. Both beautiful with sharp cheekbones and jawlines, fluffy black hair, sparkling eyes (Nikki’s were a bluish shade of hazel while Tommy’s were on the green and brown side), towering height, lean builds, kissable lips, and heartbreaking smiles. They were truly two sides of the same coin.

Nikki has to admit as he watched Y/N curl up with Tommy that they looked good together, slotting against one another like puzzle pieces. But little did he know that Tommy thought the same about her with him. The truth was that they brought out different sides of her; with Nikki she explored the side of herself that was a jaded, experienced, sensual heartbreaker of a woman, and with Tommy she felt like a young girl experiencing real love for the first time.

“You know what’s weird?” Vince piped up, breaking everyone’s focus, “That Y/N works so well with both of you guys. Like, if I was a girl, I could definitely put a ring on Tommy, but I would kill Nikki in cold blood in the first month.”

“I’d probably cheat on you, Vinnie,” Tommy joked, “But if Nikki was a chick? I’d never cheat on him because I know he would like carve my heart out and offer my soul to Satan or something.”

“You wouldn’t cheat on me anyway!” Nikki laughed as he returned from the kitchen, handing Y/N her cup of coffee, “We’re soulmates, man. If I were a woman, you’d be so deeply in love with me, you wouldn’t even think about another girl, not even Y/N. Plus, I mean, I’d be sexy as fuck as a chick.”

“I’d be hot as a chick, too. I think if we were girls, we’d be lesbians,” Tommy mused, “No matter what we are, one thing would be constant: we would love the ladies and the ladies would love us. Y/N, would you still be into us if we were girls?”

“Hm...” She hummed in thought, looking over the two of them, “Yeah, I’d still be down. You two already kind of look like ladies, with the makeup and the hair and the heels. It wouldn’t be so different.”

“We do not look like ladies!” Vince protested.

Y/N finished her coffee and got her clothes on and threw her hair up with a red scrunchy before going home to get ready to go out again. She showered and did her hair and put on makeup, but then came the time to pick an outfit. She didn’t know what she and Tommy would be doing; he told her it was a surprise. So, she called him.

“Mötley residence, Mick speaking.”

“Oh, hey, when did you go over?” She asked.

“About an hour ago. How was last night? Vince said you and Nikki got down and dirty,” The guitarist asked, trying not to sound too much like a gossipy hairdresser.

“We didn’t go all the way, if that’s what you’re asking. Nikki wanted to go down on me, and it sounded good so I let him. And that was... wow. He could have a good future as a prostitute, let’s put it that way,” She dished with a wistful smile on her recently red painted lips.

“Very interesting. And you’re going out with Tommy tonight, right?”

“Yeah, I actually called to ask him something.”

“Is he gonna get a taste tonight?”

“Quit being a gossip, Mars man!” She laughed, “Besides, I’ll tell you and Vince how tonight goes, anyway. Now would you please put Tommy on?”

“Sure thing, kid. TOMMY, PHONE FOR YOU!” Mick yelled into the house.

Y/N heard a clattering in the background before the desired voice came over the line.

“Mötley residence, Tommy speaking,” The drummer greeted with a chipper tone.

“Hello, Tommy, my love,” She grinned, twisting the phone cord around her fingers.

“Oh, hey! What’s happening, hot stuff?” She could practically hear his smile.

“I just wanted to ask what I should wear; I don’t know where we’re going, so...”

“Hm. Uh, something comfortable. Maybe something with another layer on top? It might get cold. But if you don’t want to, I’ll give you my sweatshirt or something, I don’t mind, and I always have a jacket in the van—“

“Tommy, babe, I’ll just break it down, ok? Boots, sneakers, flats, or heels?”

“Definitely not heels. I vote boots,” He replied.

“Dress, skirt, shorts, or pants?” She asked.

“Skirt, but wear tights or something. Like I said, it might get cold.”

“Honey, I don’t think my fishnets are really gonna help me,” She smirked.

“I just think you look sexy in a skirt, that’s all. Especially that black leather one,” He hinted.

“That was the plan. Okay, thank you, baby, that’s all I needed,” She concluded.

“Alright! I’ll pick you up in a little bit,” He said excitedly.

“Alright. Love you, bye,” She said. M

“Love you, bye.”

She finally decided on black leather boots, the leather skirt and fishnets (as requested by the lovesick drummer), a red, off the shoulder top, and no jacket because truth be told, she kind of wanted to borrow Tommy’s; it was a little beat up and worn in, but that only made it more comfortable, plus it smelled like him. As she sprayed perfume on her neck, as if on cue, the doorbell rang.

“IT’S OPEN!” She yelled as she fine tuned the details of her outfit.

She heard the door open and close and heavy footsteps on the wood floor. A pair of arms wrapped around her waist from behind and a pair of lips found her neck.

“You know, you shouldn’t just say the door is open when someone rings the bell. I could have been a serial killer,” The familiar voice of Tommy murmured in her ear.

“You’d kill me if you were a serial killer?”

“Oh, for sure,” He laughed and turned her around to face him, “But let’s be real, if anybody in Mötley Crüe was a murderer, it would be Nikki.”

“Absolutely.”

The drummer leaned down and kissed her lips gingerly before throwing his arm over her shoulder as they left her apartment. He opened the door of his van for her and got in the drivers seat. Y/N glanced in the rear view mirror at the back of the van; he had cleaned it up, which was nice. There were blankets, pillows, a large cooler, and a little lantern in the back.

“Are we going camping?” She asked.

“Kind of, but not really. I was gonna take you out to eat but I decided it would be better to pack everything into one experience, so I just got takeout from that hotdog place you like on La Brea, and doughnuts for dessert,” Tommy explained as he backed out of the parking lot and got on the road.

“Well, where are we going?” She asked impatiently.

“That’s for me to know, and you to find out,” He winked at her and laced his fingers with hers, driving into the night.

Tag list: @jayprettymuchomw @kayladurin @crazysaladchopshop @iamtiber-andtiberismusic @loveofmyloif @saints-of-the-universe @tommyfuckinlee @oh-well1 @cranberribread @princesadeltoro @prostidudes-for-justice @miriampraez @tarahell

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itsyourchoicedevotionals · 4 years

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“I” In The Middle

“Pride goes before destruction, …a haughty spirit before a fall. It is better to be of a lowly spirit with the poor than to divide the spoil with the proud.” Proverbs 16:18-19ESV

C.S. Lewis called pride: ‘a “spiritual cancer” that devours love and contentment.’ Truth is —pride is a sign of our own insecurity and feelings of inferiority. Both pride and inferiority are opposite sides of the same coin. Both are sin: a preoccupation with self that leaves little room for God’s spirit of humility. Spurgeon poetically warned us not to be proud of “race, face, or place.”

Growing up, Dad often preached a short sermon to me. ‘Do you know what makes the word sin exist? The blasted “i” in the middle.’

Where does the “i” lead? 1John 2:16 “For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world.”

Pride— I was guilty. —We bought a salvage-title car, low mileage, good mileage, smooth running engine. Three years later, the paint began peeling off the bumper, looking bad. I was embarrassed.. Enter one car-bra to cover up the flaking paint. Pride infected me. —Someone gave me an unflattering picture of myself. I remarked, ‘I look fat.’ This person responded, ‘What’s the matter? Too prideful for a ‘fat’ photo? Fat is what everyone really sees.’ UGH truth hurts. Pride infected me. —Years ago, we rented a mobile home near Lou’s job site, with two teenagers and three grandchildren. Someone asked, “how can you stand living in such confined quarters, with so many people.” I’d quickly dig out pictures of my home. ‘This is actually where I live.’ Pride infected me.

Point is: we allow pride to come into our lives in subtle ways. TV commercial image; —man awakening with exuberance under a rainforest shower head. Pride thinks— I need to have that shower-head and upgrade my bathroom. ‘I,’ keeping up with the Jones, new tiled bathroom, with frills causes a fifteen thousand dollar hole in the budget.— But falls into trouble financially with the budget buster. TV commercial image— the Barbie doll woman embracing fancy car… Male viewers see— A. car attracts sexy women. Fall financially because of overspending. Female viewers see— B. hefty women aren’t to be admired. Fall because they see and negative self-image of what God created to be nurtured and loved.

Job 31:1NLT “I have made a covenant with my eyes; How then could I gaze at a virgin?” When you research Job’s covenant, it becomes very impressive. God speaking to satan: Job 1:8NASB “…there is no one like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, fearing God and turning away from evil.” Obviously, Job’s covenant with his eyes kept him out of many areas of sin.

Will pride take someone to hell? Pride was a first sin in Eden. Most people who reject salvation do so because of pride.

Allow Holy Spirit to talk to you about pride issues, as He did me. Pride wasn’t my go-to-hell-train-ticket. What pride did for me was put a communication roadblock between Papa God and I. Once I saw what God was seeing, spiritual beauty became most important.

Can you let go of the ‘i’ in the middle of sin, before a fall? Believe me, the big ‘I,’ self, mine, aren’t important enough to hamper relationship with the King of kings. It’s your choice. You choose.

PRAYER: Papa God, We need the covenant to be made with our eyes as Job made. Will You empower to overcome pride, in Christ Jesus’ name I pray.

#Jesus Christ #lord of lords #Word of God #Holy Spirit #God #it's your choice #devotional #in the middle #inferiority #pride #communication #roadblock #love #hope #faith

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surveysonfleek · 6 years

Text

512.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 27

2501. What image, scent, memory, etc. would you take with you into the dark/light, the land of dead, heaven, infinity.....? my whole existence tbh. 2502. Who is the most annoying musical artist EVER? that catch me outside girl lol. 2503. If you HAD to go to one of the following concerts, which would it be: Snow Vanilla Ice NKOTB Milli Vanilli BSB <----- easily NSYNC 2504. Do you believe in manifest destiney? what?

2505. Have you ever fallen for an email forwarding hoax (send this to 13 people and old navy will send you a $200.00(100 pound) gift card)? Do you ever think 'well, maybe...' and actually forward those damn things? never. i haven’t forwarded a chain letter in years. 2506. Let's say there are 2 schools. one for boys and one for girls. They are both supposed to offer the same facilities so that the girls and boys get equal education. Would you take this to mean that the same courses should be offered to both girls and boys or that the same amount of money should be spent on each school? i’d take it as if they’re both being offered the same courses. Imagine that in the boys school fifteen boys sign up for calculus. In the girls school only five girls sign up for calculus. Should the girls calculus class be dissolved and replaced with an easier one? no. if they have the staff they should conduct them both. if not, they should combine them. 2507. Would it bother you if you found out that the fruits, vegetables, and meat that you eat is genetically altered (in lots of cases it is!)? i’d have to research it to understand. 2508. What does this world need? love. 2509. Is there anything you do just because you want to even though it has no redeeming social value? yup. like surveys lol. 2510. If you drink what kind of drunk are you? a loud one. 2511, Do you ever 'conveniently' forget something you don't want to remember? nope. 2512. If you have any cousins are you close? none of my cousins live close to me but we all get along really well when we’re together. 2513. Are you in love with yourself (your beautiful self)? haha no. 2514. What was the first movie you got on dvd? bug’s life i think. 2515. If you're sexy and you know it clap your hands. Did you clap? nope. 2516. have you ever called a: psychic hotline? suicide crisis line? sex line? dating line? none. 2517. Have you ever placed a personal ad anywhere? nope. 2518. Do guys look good in make up? some do, it all depends on skills. 2519. What are 5 things you don't care about? soccer, golf, working, drugs and my future lol. 2520. wHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO UNTIL YOU DIE? i don’t knowww. live. 2521. What 'issue' do you think your opinion is so right about that you end up trying to sway others to your point of view? i don’t try and sway people tbh. everyone is entitled to their own opinion. i hate it when people get all preachy to me. 2522. What age do you hope to live until? over 80. or at least to see my grandkids grow up. 2523. Do you like to tie others down during sex? nope. Have you ever been tied down? i don’t think so. 2524. Do you own any "toys"? no. Do you ever use them? no. 2525. Have you ever been spanked in that sexy way? maybe a couple times. it’s not a usual thing. Have you ever spanked anyone else? no. 2526. Do these questions make you uncomfortable? no. Do you like that feeling? what feeling? Does it turn you on? no. 2527. You know those ___ for dummies books (COMPTERS FOR DUMMIES, SURFING FOR DUMMIES, GOLDF FOR DUMMIES, WICCA FOR DUMMIES)? yes. Which one do you need to reaad? life for dummies lol. 2528. What do your socks look like? they’re mostly all black. 2529. Which of these really famous music artists started their career as a mime: Alice Cooper David Bowie Bruce Springsteen Moby Jewel Frank Zappa no idea. 2530. Does love float away if you let go? i don’t think so? it probably sinks lol. 2531. Do you think that most people in today's society are: kind? calm? humble? peaceful? helpful? happy? spiritual? creative? friendly? independant? intelligent? having fun? coming up with new ideas? no to all except this. able to think for themselves? able to really connect with others? If you answered no to any of the above, why do you think that is? the world sucks, let’s be real. there are some brilliant people out there but since the question said ‘most people’, it’s a hard no from me. 2532. Do you believe that every action has a sexual motive (think Freud)? nahhh. 2533. Speaking of Freud, did you know he was on drugs (think cocaine)? i don’t know enough about his life and studies. 2534. Do you trust psychology as a valid science? to an extent. can’t comment much since i don’t know enough abou tit. 2535. ID: In Freudian theory, the division of the psyche that is totally unconscious and serves as the source of instinctual impulses and demands for immediate satisfaction of primitive needs(sex, food, agressive behavior, drugs, alcohol, yelling, anger, fighting). SUPEREGO: In Freudian theory, the division of the unconscious that is formed through the internalization of moral standards of parents and society, and that censors and restrains the ego. So, which one do you express more, your ID or your SUPEREGO? idk. i’m too tired to think right now. 2536. Do you think that people who are alone and depressed are depressed because they are alone or alone because they are depressed? it can go both ways. 2537. Can you complete any of the following lyrics: I stop and I stare too much, afraid that I care too much... You're a new and better man, he helps youtounderstand,He does everything he can, he's.... Took the needles from my arms and put them to the sky... Top Gun shut down your Firm like Tom Cruise.... Don't you take it so hard now, And please don't take it so bad.... i don’t think i know any of these. 2538. How about these? From around the way, born in '73, Harcore B-boy named... And this feeling shivers down your spine, Love comes in colors I can't deny.... Before he hung up the phone he took a deep breath, stopped, and replied.... When I want you in my arms, when I want you and all your charms, whenever I want you all I have to do is... Silly games that you were playing, empty words we both were saying... 2539. Have you ever been to see a ballet? nope. 2540. What is the differance between Satan and Pan? i have no idea. 2541. What should a poem be or do if it is a sucessful poem? evoke thought or emotion. 2542. When you interpret a poem can each line mean anything you want it to? yes. 2543. Are you an orgasm addict? haha no. i love it but i wouldn’t say i’m an ‘addict’. 2544. Are you a sugar junkie? no. 2545. WHAT are you DOING? this. WHY aren't you marching in line with the rest of them? ooookay... 2546. Do you only hear what you want to? nope. 2547. Are you anal-retentive? i don’t think so. 2548. In and Out Over and Under Around and ??? about? lol. 2549. What was the last thing you returned to the store? a candle. 2550. Why ask why? why not? 2551. What is your favorite song or artist that is: jazz: metal: rock: new wave: psychedelic: eh, idk for all. 2552. What are your feelings about: Picasso? love his style. Van Gogh? good paintings lol. Michaelangelo? incredible attention to detail. Da Vinci? cool. Einstein? smart. Tesla? cool cars lol. tbh i don’t know much about the inventor. 2553. Who else can you think of that made a MAJOR contribution to art or science? anyone and everyone who contributed to everything we have today. 2554. Who can you think of that made a major contribution to modern thought? idk. 2555. Why is it called 'coca cola'? no clue. 2556. Would you ever buy a Ford car? i used to have one. 2557. Donald or Daffy duck? donald. 2558. What is the most memorable thing about Pee-Wee Herman? never watched his stuff. 2559. Lease or buy a car? buy. 2560. Have you met Real Talkin' Bubba? no. Do you love him to death? - 2561. Have you ever been in a situation where you weren't sure if you were seducing or being seduced? nope. 2562. Can you 'pinch an inch' on your belly? yep lol. 2563. Have you ever been to: a temple? yes. a bar? yes. a massage parlor? yes. 2564. Would you ever want to visit Thailand? i wouldn’t mind it. 2565. What culture are you fascinated by? japanese. 2566. Have you ever worn a cape? probably. 2567. What is the difference between 'nude' and 'naked'? haha i’m not sure. 2568. What can you get for a dollar (.59 british pounds)? a soft serve from maccas. 2569. What makes you who you are? my dna. 2570. How do you search for meaning in life? idk. 2571. If your partner collected internet porn pics of celebs s/he thought was hot would that bother you? yeah, it would be kinda weird if he collected it. 2572. You are alone with your lover's diary. What do you do? flick through it hahaha. 2573. You read some and find out that a whhhiiillle back your lover had a crush on someone else, but you two were together. You both still hang out with this person. What do you do? question him to clear the air. 2574. Are you an old fart? no. 2575. What were your favorite things to do in the yard as a kid? ride my bike, pretend my yard was another world, play with a ball, jump rope etc. 2576. Why don't people have more fun? idk, maybe they have other things to worry about. 2577. Have you ever wanted to have a pet skinned and turned into an article of clothing? hell no. What pet? What article of clothing? 2578. Do I come off sounding normal, mildly irrational, blatently insane or completely certifiable? none lol. 2579. Did you ever feel that you were unable to function in society? not really. 2580. Is it nap time yet? very soon. 2581. Do you have to have the space next to the door or can you walk from the other end of the parking lot and still be okay with the world? let’s be real, the closer the parking spot to the entrance, the better. 2582. Do you like trains? i hate them. 2583. What's in Hungary? budapest. 2584. Have you ever felt like you were holding someone else back? no. Has someone ever held you back? kinda. 2585. What do you think of the term, 'organized religion'? nothing really. 2586. What do you think of the name 'Orson'? sounds very old timey. 2587. What frustrates you? people. 2588. Winkin, Blinkin and Nod, one night, sailed off in a sea of dew.. cool. 2589. Is ten dollars (5 pounds) a good price to pay for one lipstick? yes. Does anyone else remember when lipstick was, like, 2 or 3 bucks? no. 2590. Are you ill? no. 2591. Where were you the night of.....oh hell, last night? working. 2592. Do you pronounce the 'er' sound at the end of words(lookER or lookA)? the australian way. 2593. Do you drink only 100% juice? nope. 2594. Do you remember the bills you have to pay...or even yesterday? yes. 2595. What duck? donald. 2596. Do you collect coins? no. How about stamps? no. 2597. wHAT'S the best way to learn a new language? duolingo or a class. 2598. Is god in you? maybe. 2599. Are you in god? maybe. 2600. Do you know which fork to use at a formal table setting? the most outer fork first lol.

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

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onotherflights · 7 years

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Boots.

A/N : thank u Kesha for blessing my entire life. Enjoy this silliness. Also posted on AO3.

Yuri was used to the confusion.

With his long blonde hair and his spiked nails, his pert ass stuffed into cut off denim shorts, he looked like quite a few people. It was always someone’s ex-girlfriend, or someone they had fucked in college, until he turned around. The eyes were always what shattered the illusion.

Once, he had been stoned and decided to sit with a fortune teller. There was no crystal ball or scraggly haired woman, just a girl in a crop top with a Sublime album playing in the background. She told him that he had the eyes of a killer. She was only half right.

“Hey baby,” It began, conveniently as Yuri was taking a shot. “When do you get off?”

He turned around, a shot glass in one hand and a bottle of fireball in the other. The stranger’s smile was soft, hopeful, and his eyes hazy with alcohol.

Yuri leaned over the bar, setting down the bottle. The stranger was looking down his shirt. “Usually right between drinking the blood of my enemies and sacrificing my lover’s heart to satan.”

The stranger immediately frowned,his face gone sour as if there really were a worm in his tequila. Yuri leaned in closer, enough that his warm cinnamon-tinted breath fanned over the pasty pale man’s face.

“Are you into knife play?”

The stranger’s face twisted into a more sour and confounded expression, and he turned and hopped off the barstool, throwing the first bill in his wallet onto the counter. It was far too much, a twenty, but Yuri gave a saccharine smile and slipped the cash into his pocket. He considered it, peering over the rim of the glass, and knocked back the rest of the drink, giving a quick cheer as he downed it clean.

There was only a few other people at the bar and everyone had their drinks, so no one was really paying attention to him. The couple at one end were wrapped up in each other, the string of lights above the bar reflecting in their wide eyes like stars.

At the end, practically in the corner, a guy in a leather jacket was nursing a whiskey neat, leaning half over it like he was protecting it from the grime of the dive bar’s thinning midnight crowd. Yuri briefly imagined the stranger leaning over him the same way, although maybe with a little more enthusiasm.

Apparently Yuri had caught his attention, because when they locked eyes he smirked, peering at him over the rim of his glass. It was only a moment of brown eyes watching him, but it was enough for Yuri. However, he was quickly distracted by the firm call of his own name.

“Yuri!” JJ scolded as he passed by from the opposite end of the bar, smacking his ass with a bar towel, “How many times have I told you not to drink on the job, kitten?”

“About as many times as I've said not to call me that.”

JJ walked backward toward his office, smirking at him. “Except in bed, hmm?”

Narrowing his eyes, Yuri slid his third finger against the edge of the glass on the counter he'd downed, collecting the salt. He put on a face that would make a porn star envious, moaning dramatically as he licked the middle finger he was sticking right at his boss on the rocks, JJ. While his eyes were going back in his head, Jean just shook his head and rolled his own pair of blue as he swung open the door. Yuri smiled lightly once he was out of range, and got back to work. If he purposely kept his back turned to the sexy stranger in the corner, it was not without constant thought that eyes were following him.

He'd been working at JJ’s pub for a few months, which was pretty impressive considering his track record. If he hadn't been messing around with the boss though, maybe he wouldn't have lasted so long. JJ was fun, if only for being a selfish lover. Still, he knew Yuri’s limits. Besides, it would be fun manipulating him while it lasted, before he was on to a new town and a new life. Staying in one place too long wasn't something Yuri liked to do, it stopped his hair from growing. Anyways, JJ wasn't even half Irish, so it didn’t make sense that he had a pub. He was like quarter or some shit.

Neither was that bad, the pub or the sex. The pub gave him an easy job and free food, and some nights he crashed upstairs in JJ’s apartment.

Sometimes, JJ was left wondering if his little kitten had finally gone astray. Yuri was a tiny bit notorious for running away, and the winds were changing. It was only a matter of time.

Yuri kept his mind off the winds and the stranger until the ninth inning of his shift, when he hopped up on the bar and began unlacing his boots.

“Can I get another whiskey, please?”

Yuri looked up at the stranger, focusing instantly on the subtle curve of his lip, and then back at the bottle he'd had by his side all night. He finished unlacing his boots, his bare feet padding on the sticky wet floor and across towards the stranger with the bottle in hand.

“Don't mind sharing with me, right?” Yuri questioned as he poured out the last of his bottle, uncaring if the stranger had nodded or not.

It was closing time, and it was time to rectify the situation of being strangers, so Yuri hopped up on the counter, throwing his bare legs over the side. He threw his long hair over his shoulder, tucking it behind his ear and looking up at the stranger through his light eyelashes. He wouldn't be a stranger for long.

His name was Otabek Altin, and he was a dog person. Being pinned against a wall was only slightly less of a turn on when he could feel a bulldog pawing and licking at his legs. They'd barely gotten through the door, and Otabek was practically trying to climb inside him with the way his hands and his mouth were all over.

Yuri turned his head and let kisses trail down his neck, looking down at the overexcited dog panting and slobbering next to them.

“I don't know who’s more excited,” He smirked, his blunt nails scratching against the shaved buzz of Otabek’s hair, bucking his hips up where he could feel the other man pressed hard against his thighs. “You, or your dog.”

The brunette gave a low groan and finally pulled away from his assault on Yuri’s neck, still holding the blonde’s hip in one hand as he knelt down to comfort the dog.

“Chill, bear,” he chastised gently, petting his head as the dog panted. Yuri giggled softly, biting into his cherry-red lips. Of course the dog’s name was bear.

A moment later, Yuri was swept off his feet. He'd been thrown over shoulders plenty of times, only a few times when he was sober, but he'd never been picked up like that. It took his breath away a little bit.

It had started out so simple, so typical. They'd talked at the bar for an hour or so, Yuri playing all the cards he usually did with a subtle hand. After closing up, they walked towards his apartment with a palpable sexual tension between them and he had asked, “So, are we doing this, or what?”

Yuri had smirked coyly, leaning in once again. “What?”

“You know,” Otabek replied, his hands snaking around Yuri’s waist, “Are you coming inside or not?”

Since making the decision to go in, Yuri had two tongues on him and had been carried across the living room bridal style. As Otabek passed through the threshold of his bedroom, Yuri couldn't resist another stolen kiss.

Otabek stayed remarkably respectful during the undressing. Yuri’s shirt was the first to go, pulled over his head and flung across the room without care. Otabek's shirt soon joined, and as he made his way down Yuri’s body, his jeans fell off until they were kicked aside with his worn biker boots and socks. A messy line of kisses made their way from his slender neck, down the expanse of his chest, and trailed towards the soft hair below his navel, thumbs hooked into the belt loops of his shorts.

Yuri liked the look of Otabek on his knees in front of him.

“Sit on the bed,” was his husky instruction, and Yuri was quick to comply. He went to unbutton his tiny cutoff shorts, but was a little perplexed when Otabek stayed in front of him, kneeling, and tapped his chest. Yuri’s fingers stilled on his zipper.

“Your boots,” he explained simply, waiting.

He wasn't used to being caught off guard. He was used to the hookup formula, which usually involved a simple subtraction of clothing and a simple addition of a dick in his ass.

Hesitantly, Yuri lifted his foot and pressed the rubber sole of it against Otabek’s chest, as he was told.

For the second time in such a short span, he temporarily forgot to breathe. Otabek pressed in, like he wanted to be under Yuri’s boot, like the weight of it against his bare skin was turning him on. His thick eyelashes briefly fluttered, those piercing brown narrowed, and he groaned so low and quiet Yuri was sure he'd imagined it.

With careful movements, he trailed his fingers along Yuri’s pale but strong calves, the bone of his ankle. They moved, almost delicately, to undo the messy and quick laceup that Yuri had done before they left the bar, the strings coming undone between his deft endeavors.

He pulled one boot off, placing it aside, and looked up at Yuri. Wordlessly, Yuri pressed the other foot against his chest.

Yuri watched him repeat his motions with hazy eyes, leaning back on his elbows. When they were off, Otabek kissed his inner thighs, and Yuri let go.

He let his head fall back, a shaky breath pass through his smudged-paint lips. He closes his eyes, but he could feel Otabek’s tongue again, his teeth. Then, hesitant hands at the front of his shorts, thumbs in his belt loops again.

“Can I take these off?”

Yuri nodded quickly, half pushing them off himself, unashamed at the lack of anything underneath them. Otabek groaned again, this time making it known, and pressed a soft kiss to his bare hip. It was sweet, unfittingly so for the situation, and Yuri was hoping to get the show moving.

“I'm already -” he murmured hastily, his hands clutched in dark hair. “How do you want me?”

Otabek didn't respond verbally, just kissed him hard and pulled away too quick to flip him onto his stomach, rough hands pulling his hips up.

Yuri hadn't been lying, he was already prepped. He’d had a little fun with JJ before his shift, and he had been fully expecting to use JJ to fuck himself after work, but then. Then he met Otabek. Otabek, who carried him to bed and ensured he was comfortable and seemed only concerned with making him feel good. Otabek, who was keeping him turned on for an extended period, a rare quality in men. Usually he got bored when the game was no longer so easy, but with Otabek, he was on his toes, and he was anything but bored. It hadn't been that way with anyone in a long time. He didn't want to think about it all too much.

Still, Otabek took his time. Yuri was frustrated, biting the pillow his face was pressed into and pushing back on the slicked fingers inside of him. It had been fifteen minutes too long.

“Just fuck me already,” he complained, and had the breath knocked out of him again. Otabek slid his fingers out and kissed the base of his spine before turning him over again by his hips, laying him flat on the bed.

“I changed my mind,” he said lowly, lifting Yuri’s right leg up and hooking an ankle over his shoulder. He briefly turned his head, pressing kisses into pale skin, and then turned his brown eyes back to meet green. Yuri could already tell that this guy wasn't a man of many words, but the ones he did choose were said with purpose, meant to pack a punch and knock someone right to their knees.

“I want to see your face when I fuck you.”

It worked. If Yuri wasn't already under him, he'd be dropping to his knees for him. Or was it Otabek who preferred to do that?

Yuri practically whimpered at the sound of the words, desperately pulling him down for a kiss with a punishing grip in his hair. He could feel Otabek pushing his boxers down, putting a condom on, but he held him close.

“Is that something you want me to do, Yuri?”

Another frantic nod and a knowing smirk, and Yuri dealt his fatal card. He put on his best wanton face, his eyes wide and his lips parted.

“I need you.”

It wasn't true. Yuri had never needed anyone. He made his way from town to town, found work however he could, and then moved on when things got boring or the winds blew another way.

He wasn't one to indulge and linger, wasn't one to take things slow.

Except, as Otabek pushed inside of him with one painstakingly slow and full movement and he closed his eyes the moment he felt them rolling back, he thought maybe there were some exceptions.

Maybe some people were built to be savored.

Yuri hadn't meant to fall asleep, he really hadn't. After a round and a half, he couldn't keep his eyes open, and he could feel in the air the sun would soon be rising. He fell into Otabek’s arms just as the first hint of pink touched the horizon.

When he woke up tangled in white sheets that he didn't recognize, he startled. His hair was a tangled mess, and his head hurt. His mouth was bone dry, but Otabek had thought ahead and set a bottle of water next to him. Careful not to make any noise, he took a few swigs and slipped out of bed. It only took a couple looks back at Otabek sleeping naked and uncovered, his back to Yuri, for him to put his clothes back on. He successfully got back into his beer-soaked pub shirt and beloved shorts, but he couldn't find his boots anywhere, despite knowing exactly where they had been last night. The mental image of an extremely attractive man under the press of his foot was all too happy to set up camp at the front of Yuri’s mind.

When he escaped to the living room, he finally found them, and almost mourned if not for the fear of waking Otabek.

Bear sat on the couch, fat and panting away, Yuri’s favorite black boots slobbered on and chewed to ruin. With a sigh, Yuri went back into the bedroom and grabbed the first pair he saw — Otabek’s sexy black biker boots with a thick sole and an o-ring buckle.

He washed his face and left a note by the coffee pot with his number, his exit from the apartment silent and fleeting.

Thanks for the fun, stole your boots. They look better on me. Call if you need someone to run away with.

Yuri never really thought about what people would think whenever he inevitably left. He was sure he had past lovers all over the country by now who woke up one morning to find he had gone and was never coming back.

He was sure that was the thought of a certain man, his hair dark between Yuri’s light fingers and his sweat-soaked skin under Yuri’s tongue. Maybe Yuri was wrong to leave him. He'd been nothing but good to Yuri. At the end of the day, good was boring. Good wasn't good enough, had a stifling quality to it. Yuri wasn't made to be good, he was made to be free.

“Sorry I couldn't give my two weeks, but we’ve got to hit the road,” he explained over the pay phone and was instantly met with questions.

Across the lot, an engine revved and Yuri looked up. He was gorgeous with that bike between his legs, nothing on but his jeans and his boots.

“Yura,” he called, barely heard over the engine and the truck stop music. “Are you coming with me or not?”

Yuri smiled, sticking his tongue out.

“Sorry JJ, you couldn’t handle the claws, so you don’t get this kitty.”

With that, he dashed out of the phone booth leaving the receiver dangling by the cord, JJ yelling at no one to come back.

He kissed Otabek until they were breathless and then got back onto the bike, clutching his waist. On the open road Yuri let his arms extend over his head as he threw it back, the fringe leather tassels on his jacket flying behind him like wings.

After that first night, Otabek had called the way that Yuri knew he would. He had never stopped calling, and Yuri realized maybe keeping someone around and savoring them wasn't so hard after all. At least, it wasn't hard with Otabek. He was more than a good one time fuck. He was the laughter at 3 AM when they stayed up talking about their journeys and how they had lead to the same path. He was the thunder inside of Yuri that had lay dormant and came back with a vengeance. He was feather light kisses in the morning, the reassurance that the day could be started slow. He was the pulse and beat when they were dancing to songs they didn't like, but they loved the way it made them move against each other. Otabek was hard to handle, rough around the edges, maybe a little too untamable for someone who looked for that sort of thing in people. He wasn't everyone's cup of tea, but he was Yuri’s top-shelf shot of whiskey.

They wandered together freely, from town to town. They knew it wouldn't last forever, but the moment was the only forever worth knowing. They made good love in bad motel rooms, the thunder outside shaking the glass windows. They went everywhere on the bike, Otabek driving with Bear in the sidecar and Yuri wrapped around his back. Their life became one path, one open road. An endless Summer.

Even still, Yuri liked to keep him under foot. Otabek loved it, they both knew he was a slave to Yuri’s body and soul. He loved being surprised, never knowing quite what Yuri had up his sleeves.

He loved those nights, when the wind was just turning and the air was thick, and he'd be called to their one-night bedroom to find Yuri wearing a choker with a silver circle ring at its center — and nothing else.

Nothing, that is, but Otabek’s boots.

#my fics #my fic #otayuri fanfiction #mature #i'm sorry

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skeletorific · 7 years

Text

Oh motherfucker you thought I was done?

The cringe is never done

(Also, yes I know, I’m playing fast and loose with the canon of Underfell Flowey but there’s a sweet payoff for it, I promise

Also, warning I guess? Some Frisk/Papyrus.......sort of. I consider this too shitposty to be a legit ship fic and also I’m going with a Frisk who is the same age as Papyrus to parallel Vampire and Ebony, but if that’s still triggering to you feel free to not read. No one should read this anyways.)

Chapter Five

Asgore made and Jerry and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily. “You ludacris fools!” he shouted. I started to cry tears of blood down my boney face. Jerry comforted me. When we went back to the castle Asgore took us to Undyne and Gerson who were both looking very angry. “They were having sexual intercourse against the building!” he yelled in a furious voice. “Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?” asked Gerson. “How dare you?” demanded Undyne. And then Jerry shrieked. “BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!” Everyone was quiet. Asgore and Gerson still looked mad but Undyne said. “Fine. Very well. You may go home.” Jerry and I went outside while they glared at us. “Are you okay, Papyrus?” Jerry asked me gently. “Yeah I guess.” I lied. I went home and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length nightshirt with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out…. Jerry was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing ‘I just wanna live’ by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn’t supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.

Chapter Six:

The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black pants that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull rings, and two crosses in my scarf. I spray-painted my skull with purple.

In my guard station, I ate some Mettaton cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

“Bastard!” I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic human with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. They waere wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down their face and they were wearing black lipstick. They didn’t have Cloudy Glasses anymore and now they wer wearing red contact lenses just like Jerry’s and there was no Bandage on them anymore. They had a manly Stick on their hand. They had a sexy human accent. They looked exactly like Joel Madden. They were so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw them kind of like an erection only I’m a skeleton with standards so I didn’t get one you sicko.

“I’m so sorry.” they said in a shy voice.

“That’s all right. What’s your name?” I questioned.

“My name’s Frisk, although most people call me the Pacifist these days.” they grumbled.

“Why?” I exclaimed.

“Because I love sparing monsters lives.” they giggled.

“Well, I am a monster.” I confessed.

“Really?” they whimpered.

“Yeah.” I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Jerry came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.

Chapter Seven:

Jerry and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?). I waved to the Pacifist. Dark misery was in their depressed eyes. I guess they were jealous of me that I was going out with Jerry. Anyway, I went to Snowdin excitedly with Jerry. We went into his room and locked the door. Then………… We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather top and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy’s thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?) “Oh Jerry, Jerry!” I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Jerry’s arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words………… the Pacifist! I was so angry. “You bastard!” I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed. “No! No! But you don’t understand!” Jerry pleaded. But I knew too much. “No, you fucking idiot!” I shouted. “You probably have human diseases anyway!” I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Jerry ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Hotland where they were having a fight with Undyne and some other people. “FRISK THE PACIFIST, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” I yelled.

Chapter Eight:

Everyone in the farm stared at me and then Jerry came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.

“Papyrus, it’s not what you think!” Jerry screamed sadly.

My friend Chara smiled at me understatedly. They flipped their long shoulder-length gothic black hair and opened their crimson eyes like blood that they were wearing contact lenses on. They have pale white skin that they was wearing white makeup on. Chara was kidnapped when they were born. Their real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but humans killed their mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. They still have nightmares about it and they are very haunted and depressed. It also turns out their real last name is Dreemurr and not the Human. (Since they have converted to Satanism they are in physical form now and not a speerut)

“What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!” Undyne demeaned angrily in her cold voice but I ignored her.

“Pacifist, I can’t believe you cheated on me with Jerry!” I shouted at them.

Everyone gasped.

I don’t know why Papyrus was so mad at me. I had went out with Pacifist (I’m attracted to humans and monsters and so is Papyrus) for a while but then they broke my heart. They dumped me because they liked Temmie, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. They had gone through horrible problems, and now they were gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

“But I’m not going out with Jerry anymore!” said Pacifist.

“Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!” I screamed. I ran out of the room and into New Home where I had lost my virility to Jerry and then I started to bust into tears.

Chapter Nine:

I was so mad and sad. I couldn’t believe Jerry for cheating on me. I began to cry against the building where I did it with Jerry.

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible flower with black eyes and no nose and everything started growing out of the ground! He didn’t have a nose (basically like Flowey in the game Undertale) and he had yellow petals but it was obvious he wasn’t a normal flower. It was…… Flowey!

“No!” I shouted in a scared voice but then Flowey used his vines and I couldn’t run away.

“Goffik Blue Attack!” I shouted at him. Flowey’s soul turned blue and and started bleeding and he started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I’m a sadist so I stopped.

“Papyrus.” he yelled. “Thou must kill Frisk the Pacifist!”

I thought about Frisk and their sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how their hair looks just like He-Man. I remembered that Jerry had said I didn’t understand, so I thought, what if Jerry went out with Frisk before I went out with him and they broke up?

“No, Flowey!” I shouted back.

Flowey gave me a gun. “No! Please!” I begged.

“Thou must!” he yelled. “If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Jerry!”

“How did you know?” I asked in a surprised way.

Flowey got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. “I hath telekinesis.” he answered cruelly. “And if you doth not kill Pacifist, then thou know what will happen to Jerry!” he shouted. Then he shrank angrily back into the ground.

I was so scared and mad I didn’t know what to do. Suddenly Jerry came up to me.

“Jerry!” I said. “Hi!”

“Hi.” he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Joel Madden and Mettaton. “Are you okay?” I asked.

“No.” he answered.

“I’m sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me.” I expelled.

“That’s okay.” he said all depressed and we went back into Snowdin together making out.

Chapter Ten:

I was really scared about Flowey all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between Shyren, Slipknot and Mettaton. The other people in the band are Chara, Pacifist, Jerry, Grillby (although we call him Diabolo now. He has black flames now with blue streaks in it.) and Doggo. Only today Jerry and Pacifist were depressed so they weren’t coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Jerry was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn’t die because he HP was too high and he had too much L-O-V-E (there’s no way I’m writing that) to die from a wrist cut) and Pacifist was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride. I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my sternum and tiny matching shorts that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I’m a slut but I’m really not.

We were singing a cover of ‘Helena’ and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.

“Papyrus! Are you OK?” Chara asked in a concerted voice.

“What the fuck do you think?” I asked angrily. And then I said. “Well, Flowey came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Frisk! But I don’t want to kill them, because, they’re really nice, even if they did go out with Jerry. But if I don’t kill Frisk, then Flowey, will fucking kill Jerry!” I burst into tears. Suddenly Jerry jumped out from behind a wall.

“Why didn’t you fucking tell me!” he shouted. “How could you- you- you fucking poser human bitch!” (c is dat out of character?)

I started to cry and cry. Jerry started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Asgore walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn’t cause he had a dead son.

“What have you done!” He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) “Papyrus Jerry has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists.”

Chapter Eleven:

“NO!” I screamed. I was horrorfied! Chara tried to comfort me but I told them fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. Asgore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut battle body with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull piercings. I couldn’t fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Undyne was spying on me and she was taking a video tape of me! And Alphys was masticating to it! They were sitting on their snow poffs.

“EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!” I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Pacifist ran in.

“[FLIRT]” they yelled at Undyne and Alphys pointing their stick. I took my gun and shot Undyne and Alphys a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Asgore ran in. “Papyrus, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” he shouted looking at Undyne and Alphys and then he waved his trident and suddenly…

Doggo ran outside with his dog treats and said everyone we need to talk.

“What do you know, Doggo? You’re just a member of the Dog Guard!”

“I MAY BE A MEMBER OF THE DOG GUARD….” Doggo paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!”

“This cannot be.” Undyne said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from her hand where Asgore’s trident had stabbed her. “There must be other factors.”

“YOU DON’T HAVE ANY!” I yelled in madly.

Alphys held up the camera triumelephantly. “The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!”

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not eat enough lasagna.

“Why are you doing this?” Alphys said angrily while she rubbed her dirty hands on her clook.

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.

“BECAUSE…BECAUSE….” Doggo said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.

“Because you’re goffic?” Undyne asked in a little afraid voice cause she was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.

“Because I LOVE HIM!”

#my immortal skeleton #i will never be free of this sin #roasty toasty shitposty #underfell shitpost

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surveystodestressme · 6 years

Text

107.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 27

2501. What image, scent, memory, etc. would you take with you into the dark/light, the land of dead, heaven, infinity…..?

everything?

2502. Who is the most annoying musical artist EVER?

most rapper, in my opinion. or scream-o artists

2503. If you HAD to go to one of the following concerts, which would it be:

Snow

Vanilla Ice

NKOTB

Milli Vanilli

BSB <—– this one

NSYNC

2504. Do you believe in manifest destiny?

yeah

2505. Have you ever fallen for an email forwarding hoax (send this to 13 people and old navy will send you a $200.00(100 pound) gift card)? Do you ever think ‘well, maybe…’ and actually forward those damn things?

never. i

2506. Let’s say there are 2 schools. one for boys and one for girls. They are both supposed to offer the same facilities so that the girls and boys get equal education. Would you take this to mean that the same courses should be offered to both girls and boys or that the same amount of money should be spent on each school?

the same courses are being offered but i feel like in turn that means that the same amount of money should be spent on both schools

Imagine that in the boys school fifteen boys sign up for calculus. In the girls school only five girls sign up for calculus. Should the girls calculus class be dissolved and replaced with an easier one?

no. they should just do the class with 5 girls in it. a class does not need a whole bunch of people in order for it to run properly

2507. Would it bother you if you found out that the fruits, vegetables, and meat that you eat is genetically altered (in lots of cases it is!)?

i mean, it already is so i don’t really have much of a choice lol

2508. What does this world need?

peace

2509. Is there anything you do just because you want to even though it has no redeeming social value?

yup.

2510. If you drink what kind of drunk are you?

an affectionate and talkative one

2511, Do you ever 'conveniently’ forget something you don’t want to remember?

nope.

2512. If you have any cousins are you close?

i’m not close with any of them honestly

2513. Are you in love with yourself (your beautiful self)?

for the most part, yeah

2514. What was the first movie you got on dvd?

oh damn, i don’t even know

2515. If you’re sexy and you know it clap your hands. Did you clap?

yeah lol

2516. have you ever called a:

psychic hotline?

suicide crisis line?

sex line?

dating line? none.

2517. Have you ever placed a personal ad anywhere?

nope.

2518. Do guys look good in make up?

hell yeah they do. everyone does

2519. What are 5 things you don’t care about?

wrestling, politics, history, my next door neighbor, and th weather

2520. wHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO UNTIL YOU DIE?

live

2521. What 'issue’ do you think your opinion is so right about that you end up trying to sway others to your point of view?

i mean i don’t want to sway people to believe my opinion is the right one because no ones opinion is right that’s why it’s considered an opinion. however, i am very adamant about declawing cats. i would never declaw my cats because i have seen one up close and actually experienced and done intensive research and know the bad things that can come along with it.

2522. What age do you hope to live until?

at least 100

2523. Do you like to tie others down during sex?

no, i like to be tied down. but if my boyfriend asked to tie him down... i wouldn’t refuse

Have you ever been tied down?

yes

2524. Do you own any “toys”?

no.

Do you ever use them?

2525. Have you ever been spanked in that sexy way?

yes, i actually just asked to be whipped with a belt the other day

Have you ever spanked anyone else?

not sexually, just for fun

2526. Do these questions make you uncomfortable?

no.

Do you like that feeling?

huh?

Does it turn you on?

no.

2527. You know those ___ for dummies books (COMPTERS FOR DUMMIES, SURFING FOR DUMMIES, GOLDF FOR DUMMIES, WICCA FOR DUMMIES)?

yes.

Which one do you need to read?

computers, history, lots of other things

2528. What do your socks look like?

puma socks just plain

2529. Which of these really famous music artists started their career as a mime:

Alice Cooper

David Bowie

Bruce Springsteen

Moby

Jewel

Frank Zappa i have no idea

2530. Does love float away if you let go?

nah

2531. Do you think that most people in today’s society are:

kind? no

calm? no

humble? no

peaceful? no

helpful? no

happy? no

spiritual? somewhat

creative? no

friendly? no

independent? somewhat

intelligent? no

having fun? yes

coming up with new ideas? yes

able to think for themselves? not really

able to really connect with others? sometimes

If you answered no to any of the above, why do you think that is?

people are just horrible nowadays. honestly, most people only care for themselves and aren’t worried about anyone or anything else.

2532. Do you believe that every action has a sexual motive (think Freud)?

not at all

2533. Speaking of Freud, did you know he was on drugs (think cocaine)?

i think i heard something about him being drugs but i can’t say whether that’s true or not

2534. Do you trust psychology as a valid science?

for the most part, yeah

2535. ID: In Freudian theory, the division of the psyche that is totally unconscious and serves as the source of instinctual impulses and demands for immediate satisfaction of primitive needs(sex, food, aggressive behavior, drugs, alcohol, yelling, anger, fighting).

SUPEREGO: In Freudian theory, the division of the unconscious that is formed through the internalization of moral standards of parents and society, and that censors and restrains the ego.

So, which one do you express more, your ID or your SUPEREGO?

probably more ID

2536. Do you think that people who are alone and depressed are depressed because they are alone or alone because they are depressed?

it can go both ways, i think

2537. Can you complete any of the following lyrics:

I stop and I stare too much, afraid that I care too much…

You’re a new and better man, he helps you to understand, He does everything he can, he’s….

Took the needles from my arms and put them to the sky…

Top Gun shut down your Firm like Tom Cruise….

Don’t you take it so hard now, And please don’t take it so bad….

i don’t know any of these

2538. How about these?

From around the way, born in '73, Harcore B-boy named…

And this feeling shivers down your spine, Love comes in colors I can’t deny….

Before he hung up the phone he took a deep breath, stopped, and replied….

When I want you in my arms, when I want you and all your charms, whenever I want you all I have to do is…

Silly games that you were playing, empty words we both were saying…

nope

2539. Have you ever been to see a ballet?

yes

2540. What is the difference between Satan and Pan?

who is pan? peter pan?

2541. What should a poem be or do if it is a successful poem?

give a sense of imagery and make you think and feel something

2542. When you interpret a poem can each line mean anything you want it to?

absolutely

2543. Are you an orgasm addict?

well i like having them but i’m not addicted to them lol

2544. Are you a sugar junkie?

i don’t really like sugary things actually

2545. WHAT are you DOING?

this.

WHY aren’t you marching in line with the rest of them?

????

2546. Do you only hear what you want to?

nah

2547. Are you anal-retentive?

huh?

2548. In and Out

Over and Under

Around and ???

what?

2549. What was the last thing you returned to the store?

i’m going to return a septum rings today or tomorrow

2550. Why ask why?

why not?

2551. What is your favorite song or artist that is:

jazz:

metal: alice in chains

rock: ac/dc

new wave:

psychedelic: bob marley

2552. What are your feelings about:

Picasso? does some really creative, cool artwork

Van Gogh? incredible. i love the way he paints, he has a very different style than most artists i’ve seen

Michaelangelo? very good details

Da Vinci? also very good artist

Einstein? very freaking smart guy

Tesla? very fast and very expensive cars

2553. Who else can you think of that made a MAJOR contribution to art or science?

there’s so many people

2554. Who can you think of that made a major contribution to modern thought?

idk

2555. Why is it called 'coca cola’?

no clue.

2556. Would you ever buy a Ford car?

probably not

2557. Donald or Daffy duck?

donald.

2558. What is the most memorable thing about Pee-Wee Herman?

i don’t know

2559. Lease or buy a car?

buy.

2560. Have you met Real Talkin’ Bubba?

no.

Do you love him to death?

2561. Have you ever been in a situation where you weren’t sure if you were seducing or being seduced?

nope.

2562. Can you 'pinch an inch’ on your belly?

yeahhh

2563. Have you ever been to:

a temple? there’s actually one by my house

a bar? plenty

a massage parlor? yes.

2564. Would you ever want to visit Thailand?

i wouldn’t mind it.

2565. What culture are you fascinated by?

all of them

2566. Have you ever worn a cape?

not that i can remember

2567. What is the difference between 'nude’ and 'naked’?

nude sounds classier

2568. What can you get for a dollar (.59 british pounds)?

a pack of gum maybe

2569. What makes you who you are?

my genes

2570. How do you search for meaning in life?

try really hard

2571. If your partner collected internet porn pics of celebs s/he thought was hot would that bother you?

i mean, it’d be weird if he collected it, but i wouldn’t mind if he just looked

2572. You are alone with your lover’s diary. What do you do?

jack wouldn’t every keep a diary lol

2573. You read some and find out that a whhhiiillle back your lover had a crush on someone else, but you two were together. You both still hang out with this person. What do you do?

fuck him up. lol jk, i’d talk to him about it

2574. Are you an old fart?

i feel like it sometimes

2575. What were your favorite things to do in the yard as a kid?

play in the grass, have friends over, play with the dog

2576. Why don’t people have more fun?

they’re probably too stuck up their own ass

2577. Have you ever wanted to have a pet skinned and turned into an article of clothing?

wtf? no

What pet?

What article of clothing?

2578. Do I come off sounding normal, mildly irrational, blatantly insane or completely certifiable?

insane

2579. Did you ever feel that you were unable to function in society?

i used to

2580. Is it nap time yet?

very soon.

2581. Do you have to have the space next to the door or can you walk from the other end of the parking lot and still be okay with the world?

i need to be as close as possible

2582. Do you like trains?

i don’t mind them

2583. What’s in Hungary?

hungry people haha

2584. Have you ever felt like you were holding someone else back?

oh yeah

Has someone ever held you back?

yup

2585. What do you think of the term, 'organized religion’?

i don’t really care

2586. What do you think of the name 'Orson’?

sounds different

2587. What frustrates you?

people.

2588. Winkin, Blinkin and Nod, one night, sailed off in a sea of dew..

cool.

2589. Is ten dollars (5 pounds) a good price to pay for one lipstick?

sure, i have no idea honestly

Does anyone else remember when lipstick was, like, 2 or 3 bucks?

some still is $2

2590. Are you ill?

no.

2591. Where were you the night of…..oh hell, last night?

at my house

2592. Do you pronounce the 'er’ sound at the end of words(lookER or lookA)?

2593. Do you drink only 100% juice?

nada

2594. Do you remember the bills you have to pay…or even yesterday?

yes.

2595. What duck?

donald.

2596. Do you collect coins?

no.

How about stamps?

no.

2597. wHAT’S the best way to learn a new language?

taking a class

2598. Is god in you?

doubt it

2599. Are you in god?

2600. Do you know which fork to use at a formal table setting?

no idea lol. whichever fork i grab first

#bored #survey #quiz #questions

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