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thejuniperparable · 1 year

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Too Much Cheese

(The office has been overrun with cheese! So Stanley and the Narrator — mostly the Narrator — set off to find the source of this infestation.)

(Based on a prompt from @mentheii. Thanks for the cheese 👍)

If Stanley had to describe the Narrator using only a single word, it'd be quite a difficult task. The Narrator was many things. Too many things to condense into a single word.

But if Stanley had to choose one? He'd describe the Narrator as a perfectionist.

The voice had impossibly high standards for literally everything. Even the pieces of paper scattered on the ground had been placed ever so specifically. At least the Narrator didn't expect Stanley to be perfect. He liked being just Stanley.

Suffice to say, the Narrator was obsessed with perfection. Which offered no explanation for why, on this particular run, the whole office had been overrun with cheese.

From provolone to Parmesan, hundreds of different cheeses occupied nearly every available space in the office. Stanley's desk had been mostly spared, save for a single individually wrapped Kraft Singles. As the office worker took in the sight, he noticed that the window had been blocked off by stacks of cheese wheels.

Well, guess the Out of Bounds Ending wasn't available. At least the door and hallway leading to the next room was clear.

Stanley then realized the Narrator had yet to say his opening lines. Instead, the voice was muttering under its breath, accompanied by a keyboard clacking.

Hey, Narrator? Stanley signed. Do you know why there's cheese everywhere?

"Does it look like I know?" it snapped.

I don't know, I can't see you, Stanley responded with a slight smirk.

"Stanley, I don't have time for your ridiculous jokes. I need to figure out why my office is suddenly overrun with- with cheese!"

Stanley nudged a wheel of cheese with his foot, watching with amusement as it rolled away.

"I can't find anything in the code that could have caused this," the voice muttered. "Perhaps I need to look it over again. Something I might have missed... a glitch in the graphics, anything of the sort."

You think I can eat this? Stanley casually asked, picking up a wedge of cheddar.

"What?" the Narrator paused in its rambling. "I mean- While there isn't anything stopping you from eating it, you should know that I'm not responsible for any food borne illnesses you may contract."

The office worker frowned, putting the cheddar back on a desk. So... now what?

"I'm at a loss," it admitted. "I suppose I could try resetting? But if it is an error in the code, I doubt that will change anything."

Stanley shrugged. He could think of several instances where resetting didn't solve anything - more often than not, resetting only added to the issue. He decided not to tell the Narrator that.

"Alright, Stanley, I'm going to reset now," the voice declared. "Let's hope everything goes back to normal, hmm?"

...

Everything did not go back to normal. When Stanley spawned in his office, he found that the Kraft Singles had been replaced by two Horizon Organic cheese slices. Interesting.

Outside, it seemed the hordes of cheese had only grown larger. Towers of the stuff pressed against the ceiling, leaving a narrow path to the hallway.

"Oh no no no, this isn't good," the Narrator groused. "Of course nothing's changed! I can't believe this. Ohh, just look at the state of my story! Absolutely abysmal- oh! What is it, Stanley?"

What if I did one of the endings? Maybe that'll do something. He shrugged. Besides, it's not like the cheese is trying to kill me... yet.

The voice hummed. "I suppose we could give it a shot. Although..."

What?

"Do you hear, ah, squeaking? Don't look at me like that; it's a genuine question! What if there's a mass of ravenous mice somewhere??"

I don't hear anything. Stanley gave the ceiling a curious look. Do mice even like cheese?

"Those things will eat anything if they're desperate enough," the Narrator huffed. "But if you don't hear any rodents, than I suppose we should move along now."

Stanley made his way through the cheese ridden office, with the Narrator refusing to acknowledge them in his usual dialogue. As the two progressed, the barrage of dairy products seemed to slow.

By the time they reached the Mind Control Facility, all of the cheese had vanished. The Narrator let out an exaggerated sigh of relief.

"Oh, thank goodness, it seems that cheese is gone now! Well, what are you waiting for Stanley? While I doubt that you'll follow the proper storyline, I am eager for you to get some kind of ending."

He stuck his tongue out in response.

"Oh, very mature, Stanley. Now I'm partly wishing you had tripped on a wheel of cheese back there."

And you say I'm not being mature? That sounded like something a child would say.

The Narrator grumbled something unintelligible, picking up his usual narration. "...he knew it was his duty, his obligation, to put an end to this horrible place and to everything it stood for."

...cheese control facility.

"Get on with it, Stanley."

He smirked, then firmly pressed the OFF button. He watched as the dark wall in front of him slowly receded, barely listening to the Narrator's words. Stanley absently wondered who (or what) had infiltrated the office with cheese. It seemed like a strange choice. Cheese wasn't something normally found in an office.

"And Stanley- oh my god. Stanley, are you seeing this?"

Yea, he managed to sign. I am.

The Freedom Ending, with its cobblestone path and leafy trees, had disappeared entirely. In its place? Well, surely the answer was obvious by now. Everywhere Stanley looked, even the ground he stood on, had been replaced with cheese. Gouda, mozzarella, and orange American cheese were the few that he recognized.

"Can you believe this!?" The Narrator exclaimed. "Just- ugh, imagine how the masses would react! Reviews would plummet, our ratings would-" The voice sighed. "Oh, whatever. It's going to reset soon, Stanley, so I suppose you should, um, enjoy it while it lasts."

Sure, but- Stanley pointed up at the sky. How is that yellow too?

As he stared up in confusion at the golden, fondue colored heavens, a plastic wrapped slice of cheese unceremoniously fell onto his face. He slowly peeled it off, noticing that the packaging read THIS CHEESE IS NOT EDIBLE. Sorry. Sincerely, Tim <3

Then everything went black.

...

"Tim, I know you're in one of these computers. I can't tell which one exactly, as every single one is, ahem, overrun with cheese."

Stanley spun around in an office chair, accidentally kicking a wheel of cheese as he went. He felt a slight twinge of guilt for basically leaving Tim at the Narrator's mercy, but he enjoyed the parable slightly more he could actually move around it.

"Employee 432!" The Narrator shouted, clearly losing his patience. "I swear, once I manage to find you, I will make you regret ever-"

The computer in front of Stanley suddenly produced a series of clicking sounds. Its screen remained black, but green text soon appeared on it.

Hey, no need for violent threats, Narrator, Tim wrote. It's just some harmless fun :]

"HARMLESS!?" The Narrator was practically bursting with fury. "Well, answer this for me, Tim: how much do you value your existence? Because it would only take one small change to this code for you to completely disappear. The audacity to say such a-"

Stanley slammed his hand onto the desk. The Narrator immediately fell silent.

Narrator, calm down, he signed firmly. It's just some cheese. I know Tim didn't intend for anything bad to happen so... he shrugged. Cut it out, ok?

"I-" it sighed. "Yes, yes, you're right. I didn't mean to sound so harsh. Apologies."

I'm sorry for messing with your office, Tim replied. I just thought it'd be fun - for both you and Stanley - if I switched things up. It'll be back to normal the next time you boot up the game.

"...thank you," the Narrator murmured. "Oh, and one more thing. I don't mind if you want to change certain elements of the parable. Or even add something completely new. I just- Just please ask me beforehand, yes?"

There was a brief pause as Tim processed the Narrator's words. Wait, seriously??

"Yes, seriously," it chuckled.

Oh, wow, thank you, Narrator! I'll remember to ask you in the future, you have my word :]

Stanley slid down in his chair with a soft sigh. He was very relieved that the two had resolved their dispute. And honestly, Stanley would be glad to never see or touch a piece of cheese ever again.

#the stanley parable #the narrator #stanley #employee 432 #oneshot

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solarsavoy · 2 years

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Hey, I don’t know if you have any requests or were planning to do anyone for character Tuesday but if you don’t mind, since you asked me to do Isogai for your ask game, I want to see you answer those questions for him if that’s alright

I was actually wondering who I should do, so I really appreciate the ask. ^^

Character Tuesday, Yuuma Isogai!

1 – Favorite color?

I'm actually borrowing this from my husband, but I think it really suits Isogai too. A soft medium brown, like a teddy bear, because it is warm, inviting, and nostalgic. It's comforting and safe and filled with joy and innocence. A nice and warm brown. 😊

2 – Hobbies?

Collecting and memorizing motivational quotes. Checking things off his to-do list, which makes him feel accomplished. Volunteering and helping people out in general.

3 – What are their strengths?

Superior time management skills, improved by his time in 3-E. Multi-tasker. Able to stay positive in even the darkest of situations, or to see the light at the end of any tunnel. Sympathetic.

4 – What are their weaknesses?

Takes on too much for a good cause. Prone to burnout if time isn't managed correctly. Thoughtful and hesitant when the situation demands immediate action.

5 – Favorite food(s)?

Free food.

6 – Least favorite food(s)?

Expensive food. 😆

7 – What would be their dream job?

Something that gives back to the community and provides for his family at the same time, like a job at a non-profit organization. I could also see him doing something that people rely on like a government job or construction. I don't see him doing anything big that gets a lot of attention like the authorities or a government official, but something smaller that most would overlook so he could subtly make a difference in the world.

8 – What is their DND alignment?

I think he is neutral good. It's not about following the rules and keeping your head down but making sure it is best for most people while keeping their wellbeing and needs in mind regardless of the consequences of that.

9 – What is their hidden talent?

It's not really hidden, but he's good at anticipating a person's needs. Like, scary good. I imagine there are countless instances of "I didn't know how much I needed this until you gave it to me." Oh, here's how I could make it "hidden". When he gets those customers at the cafe that say "whatever you think's good", he gets them something and it's exactly what they wanted, or it becomes their new favorite drink/dessert at the cafe. Like I said, scary good.

10 – List a personality quirk of this person.

In Kristmas Karma, he mentally goes through a list of things he needs to do and then mentally checks them off throughout the day, then writes a new one at night with added things and finished things removed. This accomplishes a few things: it's a good mental exercise, it helps with organization, because it's in his mind it's flexible with change, and it keeps him mentally active. I imagine his list is very important to him.

11 – List something strange/weird/unexpected about this character that their loved ones probably don’t know about them.

I think he knows and understands just how to hurt people. He has no desire to ever act on this information, but sometimes when Karma does something mean or Nakamura pranks Nagisa, Isogai appears embarrassed for them. I think this is because he knows how best to hurt someone, and this is why he's so good at avoiding it. It's the key to being a true Ikeman. Knowing how to hurt someone means you know exactly what not to do and how to avoid doing it accidentally. But that's also a bit dark, so I don't think anyone would ever know this about him.

12 – What is their complex? (Sister, inferiority, etc) Explain.

Okay, I have to look up the list of complexes literally every time I answer this. 😑 So this one is tricky. I can see others perceiving him to have the Messiah complex, which in an alternate definition refers to the state of mind in which an individual believes that they are responsible for saving or assisting others. I imagine he has this because of the responsibility he took on in the household at age 14 after he lost his father. But I can also see him having a Superman complex, which is an unhealthy sense of responsibility, and a person with this complex may feel the constant need to "save" others and take on more work to compensate than is necessary. I don't think it leads to a problem with pride or is overly serious in Isogai's case, because of his quirk of checking his own mental and physical wellbeing each day, but I don't think it's so far away that he doesn't have these complexes either. Of all the ones listed, these are definitely the ones I think he suffers from, at least to some extent.

13 – What is their main sin of the seven deadly ones?

Glutton. There's an interesting interpretation for this sin, it doesn't have to be for just food. You could be a glutton for punishment which can take many forms, one of them being the type to "do too much". Workaholics are gluttons, for work. Perfectionists are gluttons, for perfection. And Isogai is definitely a glutton for kind gestures and good deeds, to the point where if he or someone else doesn't help him regulate it, it could do a lot of damage to him physically, mentally and emotionally. I imagine he usually has a good handle on it though.

14 – How would they be as a parent?

He'd be an amazing dad, and I imagine it's his dream to have a nice big family some day. I think he'd wait to start one until his 30's or so because he'd want a nice amount of financial backing before he started it in case anything happened to him. I also think he'd classify anyone from 3-E as his kids' aunts and uncles just to make it that much bigger. I totally see him being the house that hosts giant gettogethers every year for the holidays.

15 – What is their main love language?

I wanted to say Touch, but honestly, I think it's Acts of Service. I was initially going to say Touch, but then I thought of how I wrote him in Kristmas Karma. I remember him being so thankful to Sugaya for getting him art supplies for his little sister and Karasuma helping out with his charity project, and that's Acts all the way. They say that it's harder to see people who have the same love language as you, so that's probably why I want to say Touch instead of Acts, even if it doesn't really make sense to say Touch. 😅

16 – How do they act around a crush?

It depends. I can see him being a little dense about his own feelings initially, but if he knows, I think he'd make it a point to do something for them every day. It can be as small as letting the person keep his eraser after forgetting their own or buying them gloves because they never seem to have any. (Quoting @heyhellohihowareyou's fanfic, Mittens.) But I do think he'd try to do something every day.

17 – How do they act when they are in love?

It'd be a lot like 16 but amped up. Instead of one thing, it'd be anything he could think of to make their lives easier without being overbearing (which is important).

18 – How would they react to a confession of love?

I think very politely. I can see him thanking them and saying how special it makes him feel, but also he'd be modest about it. Afterwards though, if he has any feelings of his own for this person, this is how he would become aware of them, in my opinion.

19 – How do they show their love/affection?

Lots of cuddles and spending generous amounts of time with them. It really wouldn't matter what they do, as long as they're together. 😊

20 – What is their idea of a good time?

Something relaxing or fun. Family game nights, a solitary stroll in the park, meeting friends at an amusement park, going to the beach with someone he loves. Whatever has him outside and enjoying life is time well spent, in his mind.

21 – Describe their ideal date.

I think his ideal date is something where he nor his date has to lift a single finger. I can see him planning out every last detail, a driver, a fancy restaurant, a trusted friend willing to act as their butler for everything else, and all he and his date have to do is simply enjoy each other's company. You know, because everything else is taken care of, so they have all the time in the world to pay attention to what's important, each other.

22 – How do they handle drama?

I think he does his best to either stay out of the way or play peace keeper. In a lot of ways, I see him as a self insert mediator for just about any situation that calls for it.

23 – What is their sexual preference/sexuality?

I strongly feel he is a hetero demi-sexual. Because of his strong family values and being in Japan, he would only be interested in girls he was emotionally invested in, like a friends to lovers type thing.

24 – What is their BDSM tag? (Brat, sub, Master, vanilla, etc)

Isogai is very versatile and I usually use BDSM tags to explain their general dynamics with others in relationships, but honestly, I'd have to label him as Vanilla, not just because he doesn't have any kinks (standard use of BDSM tags) but because he doesn't mind being the controller or controllee in any situation. He's flexible, he could be top or bottom, he can lead or follow, and he's happy as long as his partner's happy. So, I guess Vanilla just means versatile when it comes to my alternate use of BDSM tags.

25 – What is their phobia or greatest fear?

It's a small thing, but I think it's the unlived life. Part of it is because he lost his father, but since Isogai's responded quite well in my opinion, I think his father made sure to enjoy every moment with his family. He probably played games and volunteered and always wore a genuine smile. Isogai would feel bad for anyone that didn't get to love life so much, and I think he'd be afraid of also not having fun in his. That's why I added the quirk in Kristmas Karma of him checking his own wellbeing and state of mind every morning. If he's not happy, then why is he doing it? I think it's really important to him to enjoy life, even if it's busy.

26 – What is their emotional damage?

I'm taking from my own experience in this case, so here's a little of my backstory. When I lost my mom, I actually got a 4.0 that semester. I had ambitions and goals and so many classes (I was in college) I was ready to take. It wasn't until the first anniversary of her death that it hit me. And it really hit. Just suddenly, I missed her. I didn't do so well that semester and barely scraped by. My ambitions disappeared. I couldn't do anything. And then the month of May (which also contained her birthday AND Mother's Day) became a month where I learned to take it easy. Don't pick up extra projects, don't make goals, and expect to be unexpectedly sad some days. I can definitely see Isogai going through something similar around his father's death day. He'd be more prone to zoning out, forget items on his list, completely skip adding or removing things from it and just being completely unorganized. But like every season, it will fade and all will return to normal, but each year, that dark cloud would return. It wouldn't matter how many years passed by either. I think his father was probably the first major loss he ever experienced, and thus would leave the biggest mark on his heart.

27 – How do they handle emotional pain?

It might sound weird, but I think he'd make time for it on in his schedule by putting it on his list. It's important to feel emotions, and avoiding them would effect his emotional and mental wellbeing, so there must be time for it. I doubt it works out that smoothly though. 🤔

28 – How do they handle physical pain?

Okay, so, honestly? I think he's a big baby. He'd be the guy putting up a front like "I'm fine!" while balling his eyes out. "It doesn't hurt at all!" *Floods the room with his tears. Makes you just want to bandage it up and give him a big hug and kiss it all better. However, I also think that if the moment called for it, he'd would just brush it off in the moment and cry about it later. I just imagine him as one big squish. 😊 But I also see him doing his best to make light of it too, so as not to inconvenience others with it.

Example: Isogai: "It's fine, really!" Person: "YOUR ARM IS BROKEN!!!" Isogai: "It only hurts a little!" *Tears cascading down his smiling face. "Okay, maybe a little more than a little."

29 – What would bring them to kill someone?

He is one of the few people that would rather sacrifice himself than to kill someone else. In 3-E, he truly tried taking down Korosensei, but the more his teacher evaded their traps, the more he believed he actually couldn't kill him, which in turn made him try harder, but I imagine there was always something in the back of his head that hoped Korosensei would just keep escaping death. Something like "well darn, I missed him again. Wouldn't you know it." *Snaps fingers and stomps foot, an obvious act. I just don't see him having it, that desire to take life, even if it meant losing his own.

30 – How would they react or change after they’ve killed someone? To go along with 29, if he were to take out Korosensei, it would break him. I think he'd become catatonic or mutter to himself over and over "why didn't he dodge it like he always does?" and he wouldn't get over it. Korosensei is a unique kill because it would keep the rest of the world safe in the process, but literally no one else would be worth so many lives for him to justify killing them himself. So if it were anyone but Korosensei, he would never recover either. I think he'd replay it over and over in his head. It would haunt him. He'd lose sleep. He'd obsess over what else he could've done besides killing them. Now, it's different if someone else were to kill someone. Because Isogai strikes me as the forgiving type, he could forgive a murderer, but he couldn't forgive himself for becoming one if there was another way.

As always, I hope I did him justice. Thanks for the ask! And if anyone else would like me to do the whole ask game (or just part of it) for someone I haven't done, let me know or send in an ask. I seem to have trouble picking my own lately. No idea why.

Have a good day!

#daily delivery #Character Tuesday #yuuma isogai #assassination classroom #character analysis #solarsavoyasks #Isogai is just the sweetest

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survivor-north-sea · 1 year

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Episode One: "I'm gay. I'm smol. And I'm afraid." - Raffy

Jinx

preseason jinxcast 🫡 https://voca.ro/1uwnTpvAwwND

After religiously reloading the wiki page until the official but unofficial starting time, I have now seen the cast on the wiki and my only words are oh no. The fact that three names on my tribe already have filled out wiki pages means that they’re returnees which is dangerous to begin with. Two seem to be only from 15 which is a slight relief, though judging from his wiki bio and what I’ve seen of his games thus far, I’m very worried about Raffy.

Multiple games on Stings alone, has hosted multiple times (again stings alone) and is “seen consistently as a big threat in the merge.” So I either align myself so tight with him that I’m dependent or I find a way to remove him from the game early. We’ll see how that goes, fingers crossed we aren’t the first to go to tribal council. Also worrying me is this gem from his wiki page.

“Typically, he is seen as a villain in the ORGs he plays and is not afraid to admit it. He is best-known for being a chaotic rat.”

???

Wait no thoughts, official cast reveal just went up. NO EVERYONE IS EARLY US TIMEZONES OMG WHAT. Well my sleep cycle is about to be absolutely fucking destroyed. Just demolished. Like completely gone.

Ayyy Esteban said I, quote, “look stunning,” end quote. An early ally perhaps? OMG AM I IN AN ALLIANCE CHAT RIGHT NOW? IS THAT WHAT COOL PEOPLE IS??? I’M OVERJOYED HOLY SHIT.

Trinica

Oh my gosh this is all so exciting and also overwhelming!!! I feel like I'm second guessing every decision I make already, and the game literally just started.

I think our tribe is going to rock this first challenge, though. I didn't want to be the one to suggest making a spreadsheet (because...second guessing everything) so I'm glad AJ did to keep everything organized!

So it's the end of Day 1, and I'm so curious how things will shake out. I reached out to Jinx pretty quickly and hopefully they don't think I'm moving too fast right out the gate, but I had to tell them their introduction literally made me snort. We didn't get to talk a lot but I'm hoping to develop that relationship a bit.

Clefford reached out to me pretty quickly as well. I'm a little hesitant about him-- he's wearing a buff in his photo and he was quick to tell me he's played before and that we should team up. On the one hand, it's nice to have someone be so up front about game play...but on the other hand, it feels really fast and I have to wonder if he's saying the same thing to all the girlies. He also immediately asked me who I was vibing with, and the game just started so I just told him I've only chatted a bit with Jinx. He mentioned he likes AJ, so I suggested a group chat. But then immediately second-guessed making it because the game JUST started and I don't want them to think I'm forcing them into an alliance immediately. Hopefully this doesn't screw me over. And numbers wise, there's only 4 of us in it so we need more to have the numbers advantage.

Esteban reached out to me as well, which I was so happy about. He's one of the 3 (including Toni, who I haven't had a chance to chat with, and Jinx) that I was most excited to chat with and potentially ally with. I was moments away from asking him if he'd like to join our chat as a 5th member, but then he said he was glad we were having such a genuine chat and not talking game play, so... we'll pause on that one. But I'm ending today feeling like I'm in an okay place!

I am worried that I'm the only one who's really going for the individual scavenger hunt challenge, but maybe people won't notice?

Jinx called me smart and organized. I know we just met everyone but I’m feeling confident? Which is terrifying. I don’t think I’m going to sleep tonight. Just gotta be online when everyone gets up. Be the first friendly, young face they see and give out info. I think perhaps that’s best for my game rn. Fingers crossed.

Can I. See the bridge from my kitchen window? Maybe. I’m about to fucking find out babey. Can’t see the good bridge from here. Will have to wait till morning. Gotta find out where to find a candle and an instrument as I own neither. Also have to work on my people skills. I think I’m going a bit overboard. Maybe talking too much. Too much directing?

God I can’t do most of these individual reward items. LIVE BUG?? There’s no way I get all of this by tomorrow. Yk what no I can do this. I am determined to be able to idle hunt early.

FUCKING UPDATE CLEFF JUST ASKED ME TO BE HIS CORE ALLIANCE.

Raffy

I'm gay. I'm smol. And I'm afraid.

Arvin Bentonon

First of all, I felt really excited about the challenge but I was so nervous after seeing the list. I can only find few items in the list. I had a lot of fun in collecting my items and for that's the most important thing.

Toni

Toni here!

Theme: It's day one and i'm already feeling anxious. =/

My game plan was to coast but i'm not sure if that's going to work haha. These challenges require quite a bit of communication and because it's all online its hard to just coast. Right Now, I'm really connecting with Jinx and Trinica as we're a similar age and have similar life experiences. Esteban has also been chatting with me in the DMs but i'm not sure about him yet as I'm yet to find something genuine that we connect on... i'm sure we'll find it - i'm sure he's lovely too! AJ is a very type A personality which I like because i'm also an undercover type A personality which means I can leave the overt leadership to her and "lead from the back". I'm not sure I can necessarily "work with" a strong type A though because you quickly realise your decisions are not your own and it makes it harder to balance between being completely unseen or just being barely noticeable which is the plan for this first portion of the game.

Conclusions on my read of people's personality is yet to be confirmed. It's only day one. Open to anything right now but also trying to be vigilant.

My plan right now: Continue connecting with J and T while also contributing to leadership from behind. There are 10 people in our tribe so if I can work with at least 3 other people consistently we'll have good numbers. I'll wait it out this week but next week I plan on creating a DM for Me, Jinx and Trinica + (one more person).

I'll sign off here as anxiously excited!

Hairie

Cast reveal and everyone looks fab! Personally felt that Fifi from my tribe was someone I'd get along well. She's giving me good vibes just by the photos. Excited to meet everyone else still too.

I was surprised to see that there were many international cast - Quite a few representatives from South East Asia region too

Some of the items of the list really made me think like A LOT. I was beginning to question what falls into the bug category - "Is a snail a bug?" takes photo just in case. "Are ants a bug?" takes photo just in case hahah. In my head was just circling around the movie "A bug's life" and just seeing what I could find. I did try to stand still for a photo of a butterfly but that was a tough one to grab a photo of.

For sure thinking outside the box and all around it for some of the items - Curious to know who has a real metal shield hahaHairieI am not ready to see anyone from my tribe go just yet so hoping we win the first challenge!

Trinica

I did my first idol hunt and hit a dead end...immediately. Imagine my surprise when AJ reached out and said she wants me to idol hunt with her 😳 I was shocked because Clefford was the one who brought AJ into our Cool People group, and when I've tried to chat with her privately I felt like she was holding her cards very close to her chest. But she asked me to go to the merge with her, and though she wasn't someone I was planning on allying with initially because I'm worried she's making herself a target with how active she is in the main chat, it's always good to have a secret alliance in your pocket. Hopefully it's one I can trust!

Esteban

A FORMAL INTRODUCTION OF ESTEBAN

So, CHEETOS! Here we are again. I AM Esteban of Survivor Stings: Patagonia! If you remember me or maybe not. Lmao. From the Philippines but recently here in Devils Lake, North Dakota!

I am excited to be back! Some reasons why I am here playing again are the following:

1. To redeem myself on writing a better confessionals! Lmao. Like, i need to! I wrote one of the most boring confessional on my first game. So, redemption is a must. (I had a one-on-one confessional making session with Pedro so I guess i will be better this time) 2. I just miss HOME. My first ORG family. It is always good to be back!!!!! 3. I wanna win! Or at least be on the merge again and screw the FTC over. Lmao 4. I would love to try to be the villain this time (i know it is hard but not IMPOSSIBLE) 5. Representing PATAGONIA here 6. I WANNA TAKE RAFFY OUT before me ( a goal just added after I saw the iconic RAFFY playing)

So, let the B**ch*n begin in 321! Lol. Kidding. So excited how this season will work on me or against me. But, as always, I will enjoy this ride.

WELCOME ME BACK CHEETOS!

Jayjay Salais

Super friendly team :) Raffy seems to be more of a leader with experience which is nice. Didn’t know there was going to be so much diversity which I love! It’s gonna be fun and cool to get to know everyone and how this all plays out!

Esteban

Let’s talk about HIDRA TRIBE. So last night after all casts was added to the group, Jay dropped the first challenge and it’s a SCAVENGER HUNT. Most are really so hyped to do the tasks (especially the newbies) they went thrust it right away. Duly noted AJ, TRINICA, BETHANY, TYLER and CLEFFORD right away picked some tasks that they can do. Which is good. Unfortunately, your boy, me is kinda busy partying last night. So i tolled them SORRY I couldn’t do much tonight. And just like that MISS JINX called me saying STOP APOLOGIZING. Lol. THEY are starting!!!! They are starting! But I am gonna keep it cool and be nice to them until it’s time to bid goodbye.

Tribemates

CLEFFORD - my homeboy, BUNSO (younger brother), as he called KUYA (older brother), right away we talked a bit and assuring our relationship to work together. I pushed him to create an alliance of POC (Asian boys) with azri. He created one and called it LANGIT (means heaven). I trust him for now, but base on his last game i know that he is a dangerous player. A strategic one. And loyal to none but himself.

AJ - seems to be the likable one. He take the the lead and hype to be on the game. I can sense an ADELINE vibe with her. We talked most of the time. When i asked her who she is closely connected to she is kinda skeptical and secretive to answer.

Here’s her miss universe answer:

“Comfortably? No one yet. I don't think you can really say you know where you stand in a tribe until a vote.”

With that, she is playing. I am watching. :) this is a Meghan vibe. I am scared. LMAO

Trinica - you can not not like TRINICA. They are lovely and fun to talk to. We talked about life and all. They and their wife wanting to go back to their homeland for honeymoon is so sweet. I am feeling good with her tbh. I am thinking AJ and Trinica would probably work together (like a Meghan and Melissa vibe I am getting) so i wanna be the 3rd of them again. Lol

JINX - i have an on / off feeling with her. I wanna work closely with her coz i don’t wanna be against here. She is fierce. I like it and i don’t like it at the same time. CLEFFORD and Jinx are kinda have an old relationship but idk if they figured that out and start afresh. With that i wanna be with them too. Just the 3rd again.

Bethany - my Patagonia majesty. I would really love to work with her now!. After a failed (not much actually) relationship on our previous game i wish we can work together this time. Though i am kinda skeptical if he might throw my name and be against me. IDK. This time will try to keep them feel a good vibe. She might be also working with Trinica and AJ. Just the vibe. They seems fit to each other.

Toni - i love my majesty from England. We talked a bit later like morning after the first night but i love her vibe right away. She is kind and upfront on asking who am i vibing as of now. I am sensing that she is a smart lad and should watch for

Azri - i talk less with him but i am making sure that we have a genuine connecting. I learned some bahasa Indonesia before that is kinda same with Malaysian language so that is where i start my connection with him.

Tyler - I played with him once. That is in a mini game survivor (a live one) we started working together (thanks to king Brayden) we made it to top 3 and unfortunately RAFFY screw as up. But, hey this is the best way to continue the short-lived relationship we had before. So fingers cross!

And Liefa —— uhmmmm 👀

And while writing this Toni told me that CLEFFORD is playing hard already. Someone told Toni that he created a group chat an hour after the reveal and no one is talking there. Creeeew creeeeew. Crewwww crewww the sound of crickets. Toni you are my designated whisperer. Love it!

Brandi

I feel like I’m letting my group down because I can’t find very many group items but the individual items are easier for me lol HairieThis scavenger hunt got me thinking - What is a bug? I took photos of a snail, ants and millipede based on my memory of the movie "A bug's life" but Google told me otherwise. I'm going bananas.

Hairie

Had a chat with Julie wondering if we should get the idol for ourselves but I failed this time around and got a 10% disadvantage. From worrying and now anxious to tell the tribe about the disadvantage *slaps forehead*

Guess who is an idiot and didn’t realize Cleff was a returnee until too late. It’s me I did that. Alright I’m going to lay in bed for fifteen minutes and call that a good night’s sleep. NEVERMIND SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK. WAFFLES ARE MY TRUE CALLING.

Timeskip time Alright it’s afternoonish the next day and I actually did all the reward items. I’m so proud of myself for the reward items and for the tribe with how we’ve come together through this! I really hope we don’t lose, and I can only hope our organization and proofing will be what’s saved us in the end.

Omg I really hope we can pull this off. We’re getting so close to at least 50. That’s 90% of this done. I’m really hoping the other tribe had miserable luck with the painting and weren’t as organized as us.

Allegedly it's a really close game and I'm worried. I think we need like four things left. Praying we get them. Also slept through a timer I set for myself but others in my family did not so. It's down to the wire, and there's four items separating us??

Please survivor Tumblr gods, let it be them who go to tribal first.

WE WON OMG IM SO RELIEVED. I CAN SLEEP KNOWING I WON'T HAVE TO VOTE SOMEONE OFF/WORRY ABOUT BEING VOTED OFF

Jinx

https://voca.ro/1lI2mswCXvZs first impressions

Tyler Frazier

So I kinda flopped in the challenge! But that’s okay we work so I can always get ‘em next time. My tribes been super nice though so they’re awesome for that and hopefully my performance just brushes over

Esteban

We’ve won! As we should! The tribe’s morale is soooo good. Tyler just felt bad that he fell asleep and forgot to upload some photos but we are fine.

Leifa???? MIA still. Tony part 2 for me I guess. She ghosted us

Manifesting a vote out for RAFFY! Please. Lmao.

Raffy

Right now, my tribal thoughts are focused on voting Fifi out. She did not know when the deadline was nor did she submit anything for the challenge. Initially, it was going to be JayJay since they were inactive on the first day, but they really came through in the challenge. I am going to try to push for Fifi on that basis. Hopefully, it doesn't make me a target early on. I have been very transparent that I am a returnee because lying is just not going to be a part of my game this time around. I am really, really, really going to try to be nice and hero-like. Let's see how long that lasts.

Chelsea

whew! that was a crazy first challenge! i was busy in the morning with parent duties so i didn't get to much of the scavenger hunt (S.H.) until early afternoon. i was so excited to see how much everyone was getting into it. however, when i saw Fifi said she wasn't going to be able to submit pictures until tomorrow, my jaw almost hit the floor. she essentially admitted to everyone that she had no idea what was going on. i am having really good conversations with Arvin, Hairie, Raffy, Brandi, and Julia, and from what i can tell, we all think Fifi is the one that needs to go. we just don't have much else to judge people on. and because of that, plus the fact that i got one of the higher scores, i feel really safe for the first tribal.

regarding nascent alliances--i feel like Brandi and i have a good thing going, and then with the other four, it seems like the five of us are having good talks with each other, but not all as a group yet. i do know that Hairie and Julia and both talking to me, Raffy and Arvin, so that feels good.

additional thought: Raffy kinda took over the uploading duties for the S.H. I am very grateful, because I didn't want to use my own accounts, but it feels like it could catch up with him later. I know of at least one picture that ended up not counting bc it was a vest and not a jacket, and he uploaded it too fast without double checking. I had said I would get that picture, and I had one that if he had waited or checked before uploading, he could have used mine. while it won't hurt him this time (Fifi looks obvious at this point), if he takes too much responsibility, then it's too easy for the consequences to blow back onto him.

as long as others continue to use him for that, i will too. i won't be the last person though who is relying on him. i am happy for someone else to take the heat at this point in the game. i will be monitoring this though and make sure it doesn't look like i can't pull my own weight if it comes to that.

additional additional though: Arvin called me his survivor mom! i don't feel that old! and in an online environment, as long as you are technically savvy, age doesn't really matter at all so i'm a little miffed at being pigeon-holed that way, but i am also very caring and nurturing in general so maybe it's that? well, that, and the age. ugh lol.

Jayjay

So far this whole experience has been really cool and different. Being able to connect with all the team members from around the world is pretty awesome! I think so far we are all pretty involved and committed except maybe 1. Which I’m hoping for this first tribal council will be an obvious vote for those who did try their best and contributed to winning this first challenge. Raffys my favorite person so far. He’s helped me really get the hang of things since he has a bit experience and quit a bit of patience it seems like which is appreciated. I don’t really know what to expect as this game goes on but I’m excited to learn and find out! Cant wait for our next challenge if I’m still here! 🤞🏻

Chelsea

also! i just had to say i'm low-key super proud of myself for already having good rapport with multiple people. i have ADHD and i'm always worried i'm being completely oblivious to someone or something because let's be honest, it's not like it's never happened! so yeah, very sensitive to that and so pretty happy with myself after 24hrs of playing Survivor :)

Trinica

So after the challenge clefford came to me and started talking shit about Jinx. Kind of out of nowhere. He said that he asked her if she would start a clean slate with him and that she said no…. which I was suspicious of because Jinx had previously told me that they had no problem with clefford. So obviously I immediately told Jinx. I also told them I was drunk (which I am) cuz I want her to feel like she can trust everything I'm saying because I'm saying it through the filter of being very drunk. (I may have regrets about this strategy tomorrow morning.)

So clefford tells me that he trusts Toni and Esteban and he wants to start a new group chat that Jinx is not in. He also told me that he's basically a newbie because he's only played once; obviously he's trying to appeal to me being a newbie but mamma didn't raise no fool.

So now Jinx wants to do an all women's alliance to kick out clefford. Which I'm all for at least for one vote. I do want to keep Esteban around even though I know he's been talking to clefford as well. But I think if I can pull this off clefford will have no idea what's coming. Time to put my high school theater experience to use.

Clefford

I'm happy that I will not be the first person leaving this game.

Being a returnee is hard. You have to prove yourself coning back into this game.

I've had a separate conversation with AJ and Trinica and they both aware that there are returnees this season. I asked AJ to be in a alliance with me and I hope that she's genuinely down knowing how I played my previous game. I honestly think that the rookies already formed an alliance against the returnees.

Seeing Jinx here again made me scared at first. We had a not so good relationship on our first game together and I hope that we are good now. I genuinely want to work with her, because she looks cool and kind.

If I go early, it's fine. I already had my chance.

Hairie

DANG IT!! Lost by 4 points shucks ... did they have a live sheep? Hairieugh we lost and now we have to go to tribal and vote someone out. Everyone seems like wanting to keep the tribe strong and only 1 name has been floating around. Well, as long as it ain't me :)

Esteban

well i was looking on the casts again just awhile ago and realized that uhmmmmmm i did Raffy wrong without him. Knowing. And i realized i need him to maneuver in this game. So i hope he will survive.

It is so quite here (or just in my end?) jinx talked to me via voice calls and its funny and i like it. She said she wanted to work with me and clefford (okay???) but i thought these 2 are against each other. Should i wanted to be in the middle of this war or run barbir run away from the drama? Idk!

And leifa…. 👀👀

Tyler’s mistake might get some targets on his back good thing we are safe.

LANGIT is an alliance with clefford, azri and I. I really dont know how will it benefit me yet as Clefford might be a little too much to bear by others. Like on his own mouth he said he wanted to create more alliance rightaway. Like dude calm down (or not) it’s up to you but don’t stain my game :) lol.

There might be a brewing alliance with the girls AJ TRINICA AND JINX AND MAYBE WITH Bethany. If thats right then i might be bff with these girls and be there +1 :)

I am still trying to work out with bethany. I cant tell if she really wanna work with me or not? 🥺

Toni is one heck of a smart player. I need to keep my eye on her. As of now she told me that Clefford is in his radar.

Cheetos this is a new game indeed. Gotta wake up!

Julia

Raffy being here is the most disgusting thing ever. He’s going to take me out preswap most definitely. I just know it. The newbies are adorable I like them a lot. Jayjay being married to Ryan from 43 is such a slay. Trust wise I really like Hairie and probs trust him the most

Bethany

hiiiii first confessional of the season wooo! i'm doing this now so in case i don't make a video confessional in time i still get a confessional in for the episode but hopefully i'll have a video confessional too.

i'm feeling good about our tribe!! we worked really well together to divide and conquer the scavenger hunt, even though some of us were more helpful than others lmao. AJ is giving needs to be in control vibes which i'm totally fine with. i also already LOVE jinx, we have the same sun/moon sign and our rising signs are sister signs so purrr love that sm i feel like we are really going to get along. i'm happy to see esteban here, he did vote me out last time we played together but this is a clean slate and i'm not going to have that affect this game. Toni and Trinica also seem very nice and I am vibing with them. I have not yet talked one on one to Tyler, Azri, or Leifa so I want to talk to them today! also i didn't do the individual scavenger hunt because i just didn't have the time but honestly i don't think it's a big deal, an idol would be nice but i would also like to not need one anyways lol but yeah i plan to share more in my video later!! ttylxox

Tyler Frazier

Okay so AJ is giving me a good amount of information right now which makes me think that she is open to working with me. AJ is like the exact type of player that I would wanna work with considering my play style is a little more low key and go with the flow so by pairing myself with someone who right off the bat is gonna be an aggressive player could really help. I also feel good about Esteban and Bethany and I have mutual friends so I’m hoping that I can start to build a relationship there

Trinica

https://youtu.be/sHZeXyi602w

Raffy

Hairie offered an alliance with me, Julia, Chelsea, and Arvin. I don't really know how I feel about this. I can tell that Hairie is definitely a strategist. He is going to want to do anything to make it to the end which I can respect. He'll be a fun person to play with in the game. I'm just unsure of Chelsea and Julia. I can't get a good read on Chelsea and how she wants to play the game. She seems like the type to have social connections everyone. And Julia is unpredictable. I feel like she would have my back, but not in a "I will tell you everything" way. More like "I will do things without telling you" way which I don't know if I can trust. However, I need to just say yes and move on. Its better to be in an early majority alliance than not. Other than that, I should be pretty safe for this tribal unless the newbies don't like returnees.

Zach

👀Hello! Today has not been a slay. I woke up late and then was blind for my show because I forgot to grab my contacts. Not to self: don’t play a game during the run of a show again. I think we’re going with the easy vote of Fifi due to inactivity and not participating in the challenge.

Champ!

:)Love my tribe but I’m super upset we lose! We only lost by a couple points but if everyone contributed we could have won😭 I want to keep our tribe strong so can win moving forward :)

Arvin Bentonon

Out tribe did well in the challenge but the other did better than is. I am very nervous about the tribal council, because I after we lost I just slept the whole day. And didn't even talk strategy with anyone. I hope I would still be in an alliance.

Hairie

I don’t really fancy the idea of “keeping the tribe strong”. We don’t know what the next challenge is, someone could be terrible for this challenge but slaying it in the next. In an ORG setting, keeping the tribe strong (in terms of participation) is important because I don’t wanna keep coming back to tribal.

Azri

I'm so excited for this game. Although it's quite overwhelmed and because I'm still in the other game at the same time. Day 1, I managed to talk with some people and bond together And guess what? I managed to get into an alliance early in the game with my fellow Asian bro. I'm stick with it. Then, there's AJ, Trinicia and Jinx who also quite friendly. That's my gang over there.

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crazy-loca-blog · 3 years

Text

Casey Valentine: About Her Future

A/N: This has been one hell of a ride! Talking about Casey and her life has been an amazing experience. There are many situations about her future that I haven't figured out yet, that's why I'm keeping things in a very limited timeframe (around 2 and maybe 3 years after the end of her residency). Thanks a lot to @openheartfanfics for organizing this event. I've had a blast!

Meet My MC || About Her Past || About Her Present

Casey has been leading the diagnostics team for over two years now. And things have changed a lot.

As soon as she assumed her new role, she was determined to make the team the core of a system that also involves the rest of the departments at Edenbrook. And she uses her friends for it.

Casey, Ines and Jackie are implementing a special program to evaluate interns and residents in order to discover outstanding doctors that may support the diagnostics team and other areas in the hospital after their boards. It follows a lot of the guidelines that Ethan used when they were interns, but it also gives selected residents an opportunity to assist the diagnostics team in some cases in order to improve their skills.

Elijah and Zaid became her go-to people when it comes to studies and reseach, especially in those cases where experimental treatments are the only option for patients.

Sienna quickly became a team favorite. As the best pediatrician at Edenbrook, every time the team receives a pediatric case, she is involved in the course of treatment of the patient. Casey is considering to offer her a permanent spot in the team.

Bryce's research skills when it comes to evaluate surgical options for patients are brilliant, so he frequently helps Harper by giving her second opinions on certain procedures. He also covers for her as member of the diagnostics team every time she's on leave.

When a patient needs rehab after some surgery, Rafael is the one in charge of the process. The results his patients achieve in their recovery are proof that he has all the profesionalism, the patience and the work ethics the team needs in their collaborators.

As per Baz and Ethan, Casey convinced them to keep collaborating with the team on an ocassional basis. They are one of the best immunologists and the best diagnostician in the country, so she needs their brains in her team, even if it's not permanently. They assist in the hardest and most enigmatic cases.

Despite all their efforts, the team can't accept every case they receive. And that's when Kenmore help is appreciated. A year ago, Tobias, Casey and Aurora developed a collaboration project between the diagnostics teams of both hospitals, which now allows both Edenbrook and Kenmore to help twice the amount of people they used to assist when they worked separately.

Of course, none of this would be possible without Ethan's help. As Chief of Medicine, he has the power to approve most of Casey's projects, so he's been making a very good use of a position that he wasn't convinced to accept at first. It's definitely been a win-win situation when it comes to team work between Dr. Ramsey and Dr. Valentine.

Despite of them being very private when it comes to their personal lives, there is no doubt that Casey and Ethan are relationship goals. If seeing them working together in the past was a delight, the way they've been ruling Edenbrook after becoming official has certainly helped them become the power couple the hospital needed.

Because you can definitely tell they're not only great partners, but also each other's best friend. Their nonverbal communication skills are at a whole different level and they certainly boost each other in a way you can tell they're the best thing that has ever happened to the other. They're in love and it shows.

That's why no one was surprised when, after 8 months of becoming official, they decided to move in together.

But everybody was surprised when Ethan proposed only a few months afterwards. Except for his dad and her brother (who were the only people who knew about his plans), literally no one saw it coming, not even Casey (because yes, Ethan has mastered the art of surprising her).

They almost canceled the wedding... twice. The stress of their jobs plus the chaos that involves planning a wedding was beginning to affect their wellbeing as individuals. It wasn't a big issue for any of them: Casey never cared about having a ring on her finger and they both knew that nothing about their relationship would change if they didn't sign a piece of paper, as they were certain they had sealed the deal a long time ago.

The thought of an elopement also crossed their minds... and right when they were about to do it, Sienna came up with a brilliant idea to save their original plan: a micro wedding, that took place 6 months ago.

These newlyweds like saying they have a family of four: Ethan's dad and Casey's brother are pretty much the only relatives they have, so they consider them part of their household. They even have their own rooms in their new home in Boston!

They'd both agree that getting used to wear a ring has probably been the hardest part of their marriage, even when they cared about buying bands that were "compatible" with their jobs. But they are pretty sure that if they take it off, they'll end up losing it, so they kind of gave up. They expect to get used to it over time.

When they're not at work, they love exploring all the hidden gems that Boston has to offer. They've found a bunch of great places thanks to Rafael's recommendations, but they have also discovered a lot of new places by themselves. That doesn't mean they don't enjoy a good date at home after an exhausting day at work or getting lost and disconnecting from the world for a full weekend without telling anyone where they are.

This philosophy of discovering new places also applies to their holidays. Sometimes they'd go to well-known places, but they both agree that their favorite trips are those where they visit underrated destinations. Of course, they also leave a few days to visit Alan in Providence and to go to Casey's home in Virginia.

Kids? They have talked about it, but they don't feel ready to take that step yet. Not only their jobs are very demanding, they both have some baggage they need to get rid of before thinking about becoming parents. They're not in a hurry though, they're convinced that everything happens for a reason... they are happy, and that's all that matters.

She may not live with them anymore, but the roomies (and the rest of the gang) are still incredibly close. Casey still has lunch with whoever is available almost every day, and they still have a booth with their names on it at Donahue's.

When Casey moved in with Ethan, they didn't search for a new roomie. With the exception of Sienna, they all were attendings, so it was easier for them fo afford Casey's part ot the rent. They decided to turn her room into an office they all use a lot.

And none of them has the intention to leave their apartment any time soon. Housing in Boston is incredibly expensive, and they know none of them could afford a place like the one they have by themselves. This also gives them a chance to get rid of their med school debt a little faster.

Jackie, Aurora, Sienna and Casey also host a "girls just want to have fun" event at the apartment whenever Elijah visits his parents. It's a bonding tradition they started during their residency and they have no intention to finish any time soon. Sometimes, Kyra (when she is in town), Ines and Angie join them as well.

Bryce is the person she relies on when she needs a brotherly figure. She can definitely see a lot of her brother on him, and he always seem to have the right answer to everything. He also had to get a bigger place, as Keiki returned to Boston after being accepted at Harvard. Casey and Jackie guided her to attend med school... and convinced her to become a diagnostician.

The gang never knows when Kyra is going to make some surprise visit. She's been travelling around the world for a long time now, but she's been back home a few times for special ocasions. The last time they saw her was for Casey and Ethan's wedding.

Sienna and Casey have been exchanging recipes for a while now. Casey can cook to survive, but Ethan takes cooking to a whole new level, so Sienna usually comes to the rescue when her bestie needs help.

Casey is also playing matchmaker between Sienna and Rafael. She has been observing the way they look at each other for a while, and she's convinced they would make the cutest couple ever. Because beautiful souls deserve to be together. So yeah, she most definitely will introduce Sienna and Rafael's vovo very soon with some "help me cook dinner" excuse.

Tags: @adiehardfan @izzyourresidentlawyer

#oph meet my mc #oph meet your mc #casey valentine #open heart

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shinidamachu · 3 years

Note

People always use the flower episode to say, "oh, Inuyasha had stronger feelings for one over the other," but completely ignore all the issues that got pointed out in past episodes, like the lack of trust between Inu & Kik, and the whole "I'm not supposed to be happy" speech, which is really not healthy.

Also, I don't know if it's an adaptation or translation issue but in that scene you're supposed to read between the lines, which Rumiko does all the time in her work with characters leaving their thoughts unfinished but the reader knows what they mean. Inuyasha would've gone with the illusion Kikyo because in that illusion Kagome literally didn't exist, until she called and the illusion was destroyed because her mere existence ruined the demon's death trap, which debunks the idea that he doesn't cherish Kagome more.

Maybe it's another translation problem, like the whole "she'll protect us forever" line that got butchered and changed into "I wanted to protect her forever" in Kikyo's death scene, because you never see these arguments about the flower illusion in the Japanese forums and discussions.

Yeah, this is exactly how I see it too!

And I actually agree that Inuyasha had stronger feelings for one over the other. I think I just hold a different opinion than a part of the fandom regarding who he had stronger feelings for (Kagome) and what those feelings were (love for her and infatuation for ᴋɪᴋʏᴏ, maximized by guilt and grief).

There's also the people who think Inuyasha loved them both. And this is also a valid take. In fact, I think it's precisely what Takahashi was going for. But the way she went about it made me go the opposite direction.

And even those who ship both pairings have to admit that their dynamics were vastly different and that Inuyasha didn't love them in the exact same way because they were fundamentally very different people who represented very different things in his life.

So in the end of the day it all comes down to our personal prefferences and interpretations, which were dictated by our individual backgrounds and subjectivity.

I didn't know the "I wanted to protect her forever" quote was a translation problem, so I'll just take your word for it, but the thing with it is... even if lines like this one didn't exist in the manga, even if the translation turned them into something other than their original meaning, we can still be critic about it. Inuyasha might tell he wanted to protect her forever, but what was shown to us was a very different story, which only makes his words lack substance.

To me, ɪɴᴜᴋɪᴋ went against the "show, don't tell" rule and the episode in question was just another example of that. We had a third character talking about how she was the woman Inuyasha loved the most but when push came to shove it was Kagome’s voice he chose to follow.

That, combined with the trusting issues, the fact that Inuyasha felt so guilty about her death to the point of self distruction, ᴋɪᴋʏᴏ's lack of reluctance in erasing a whole part of who he was, the absense of relationship development betweeen them after her return, the refusal to address and fix the peoblems that made their relationship fail in the first time, the character Inuyasha becomes when he is with ᴋɪᴋʏᴏ, the way they ideolized each other and the life they thought they would lead together... It just keeps me from getting on board with the pairing. The same way the sitting command and other aspects of the Inukag relationship puts some people off the couple.

It all depends on where you draw the line, on what you find compelling in a ship.

To me, it's all substance: chemistry, quality time, development, hardship, trust, friendship, naturality, balance, complementing each other, comfort, a deep understanding of one another and, most of all, the relationship must actually change them and push their characterization (and the plot) to where it needs to be, instead of regressing them to square one.

That’s why I found slowburns so compelling. It’s not just about the tension, it’s about paving the way to the happy ending through hard work. It’s about giving the characters time to build a organic, believable and solid bond, which only happens with patience and day by day progress. It’s about showing how hard the journey was and making me feel part of it. It’s about earning their endgame with great efforts and sacrifice so it actually feels satisfying.

And to me, Inukag succeded in delievering that. Their relationship was something they built together from scratch and we were there to watch it all from the very beginning. Nothing was handed to them on a silver plate. And every moment of that progress was so meaningful and important, that it could never be summed up to a few episodes.

Most importantly, I loved both characters. I wanted them both to be happy. And as it turned out, they were the happiest when they were together.

#Sorry I got carried away #Sidmailing

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incarnateirony · 3 years

Note

It was so weird, I saw W*lker trending but at 45 minutes in it said it was about 8000 tweets only? And there were a couple other things from the ep I guess that trended briefly, like Rick Ranger and Winchester Auto, but they number of tweets didn't show and they only lasted a couple minutes. Can promoters buy tweets on the trending page? There were just so few relatively and I was surprised it showed up at all.

Yup I been tracking this while at work like a competitive sport across like a dozen analytics clients. So a few things:

- yes, tweets can be paid for, in multiple ways. Paid trends will show as paid trends. Tweets also can be upsold individually, I haven’t checked if any were tonight. It raises visibility of an individual tweet.

- It was not a paid trend, that’s for sure; but there may have been a paid tweet; but, that wasn’t needed.

- Because it’s sweeps, Jared has been livetweeting the last few weeks to try to boost engagement. Knowing there’d be an inevitable boost in trend value last week, we lightly crossfertilized TheWhiteWalker. Because sweeps. And there CAN be a time that engagement is bad engagement. Most specifically, when your trend is bumping between celebrities/entertainment and politics because people are talking about copaganda, border camps and stuff like that as keywords, advertisers are going to side eye that a bit.

- This week we did not, because we already did that work and there’s plenty of data laid out for them to mine already on that with the cross linked tags. This time, Jared tweeted again, but even with his livetweets, the engagement this week is even lower than episode 2 when he wasn’t livetweeting. Their value is literally half of last week.

- But the livetweeting does account for the spike paid tweet or not, because as I always preach to everyone while helping friends organize trends, it’s all about the sharp spikes. Big actor drops hashtag and 50 people reply, half with the tag, and immediately again and again in a few minutes, you just cranked out like a thousand in a few minutes, and there’s your trend value. Boom. Every tweet he drops--and the other major influencers I tracked (unsurprisingly winbros and fangasm) all hold that power.

Of the 9.5K tweets by the episode end (over the day, the ep peak itself on the hour was 6.5K), there was a large cluster of accounts dropping 20-30 tweets each (about 30) -- so there’s like 750 of the tweets right there, for an example. So about 10% of the value alone is the same cluster of 30 accounts responding to those three big hitter accounts when they drop tags. Then, after that, another 30 accounts or so are dropping 10-20, so there’s 450 right there. Now, basic math tells you those 60 accounts alone account for about 1200 of the tweets. Okay, so we’re at 1200 tweets. The thing this isn’t accounting for, however, is that a great deal of tweets are also retweets, those count as tweets. How many RTs does Jared have? People’s pics have? well of jared’s 16 tweets, they average about 150-250 RTs. Let’s say 200 x 15. 3000. Okay. So there’s 4200 of your tweets.

That’s not counting the top fans having about 13 RTs on their stuff and a few several more, or the ads themselves--

damian's article had 200 RTs,

Walker updates 19, 64, 25, 38, 25, 38,27, 60, 27, 35, 40, 24,

EW/Sam highfill 90,

Fangasm article 15,

Gen had 90,

the walker ads themselves (279, 102, 116, 63 when I'm tapping this out) -

Semi popular fan tweets: 49 , 11, 10

CW news: 30

extra jarpad reply: 30

So 5730+ random.

Now minding most of his replies are going to be from those prolific accounts I pointed out, and there’s a few hundred “nah” style passes on ads, or promos from them, we’ll round that to about 6000 (esp since I actually under-rounded Jared’s RTs in his benefit to begin with).

Of the 9.5K over the day until that point, not even the 6.5K peak, 6000 of that can be tracked to... basically about 70 accounts. I’m not even kidding.

This is what the US map looks like on individual tweeters

There’s also a weirdly large hub in argentina, several in the UK, and littering dots lighting up across Eurasia in general that have been individual tweets throughout the day but like one rando and dropped.

Not sure why the appalachian states consider it a hit but OK.

Yeah that. That’s basically our US tweeters. About 52 appear to be US viewers.

On the below chart, “0″ is the current week, -1 is last week (Jared was livetweeting), -2 was ep 2 (was not live tweeting), -3 was the premiere. This won’t be fully up to date for a few days basically because it has to roll the projections but it’s pretty clear even with the livetweeting it settled below episode 2 (no livetweeting from Jared).

in the 9-10 PM est hour it had already dropped to the level last week still was holding value at around 11PM EST last week. It’s now 11EST, and it’s already almost 200 under where it was at midnight EST last week or a third down even on afterbuzz with all the celeb tweeting.

I’m sure, since I had to tap this out over an hour or two at work, as evidenced by the timelines I’m responding to, some of the earliest numbers actively changed in the midst of this, but that peak never came back up. I’m sure fans kept tweeting, the active ones, and added a few more numbers to their bundles and a few more randos wandered in, but genuinely speaking, this is... not good for sweeps, live tweet boost or not.

(they now have 14.4K on the day, for example, in the like 3 hours I was writing this and the second airing pacific to mind--they were at 14.4 early first airing last week, to put it in scale. Landed near 25-26K. But then scale up how Jared and everyone’s RTs have climbed, who’s continued to post, etc, and you end up with a similar result.)

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festivecuriosity · 4 years

Text

[October 13, 2020]

♡ Mercury retrograde in Scorpio is happening tonight. I can already feel/see it's influence. It also doesn't help matters that my current household is primarily made up of Scorpios or Plutonian individuals (most of my roommates are "essential workers" like EMTs or caretakers). Brad (the most Scorpio of the house) has called for a rare consideration; that there be silence in the living room (communal space) when he comes home. He's never asked for that before. This feels very symbolic of Mercury Retrograde in Scorpio. A moment of silence in our otherwise very talkative household. Besides that, he's coming home right around the time MRX/Scorpio would be officially beginning.

♤ Identifying omens is part of my practice. It's one of my oldest, foundational, cornerstones of how I communicate with the Universe and my guides. When you notice something (really notice it) to the point that it stands out in your mind and you end up thinking on it all day, it is an "omen". A symbolic representation of the message the Universe is sending you. I was given an omen by the Universe yesterday as to the immediate future/Mercury RX in Scorpio. I was outside (smoking) when I saw a hawk soaring in the air, being pursued by two black crows, and navigating around their assaults. The hawk (personally) represents my spiritual vision/focus/accuracy. The two crows, I believe, represented thoughts that attack my focus. I.e. Huginn and Muninn, thought and memory. Although, Huginn and Muninn are technically ravens. Not crows. I still think the message from the Universe is to tame my PTSD/where my mind goes/stay focused on my goals instead of letting my negative thoughts pick at me.

Also kind of reminds me of the qliphothic sphere/inverted sphere of Netzach. Where the "crows" pick at the beauty of Source. Another reminder to keep my inner criticism from attacking my spiritual focus/my ability to see the beauty in my life and self.

Two other people in the household got omens on the same day as me. One person got a vulture eating roadkill on the side of the road, the other got a brown cricket. Since the vulture means rebirth and ressurection through shadow work, I think the household is going through a transitional phase (what affects one person in the house typically touches all of us). I am not certain on the brown cricket, however. Good luck? What struck me the most about it was that my roommate was trying to catch it...and it always knew when to hop away just in the nick of time.

♧ I've been rearranging/unpacking my boxes from Seattle finally. For a long time now, I've just been living out of boxes, and refusing to do much magic. I didn't even set up my altar when I got all my stuff back from [Redacted abuser]. It's taken awhile to even get myself back to directly communicating with my guides...much less the Universe/Source. Anyways, I'm finally going through my boxes, and setting up an official altar area. When I was getting into my old rock and crystal collection (I was into that stuff way back before I realized how harmful the crystal/gemstone trend is for Earth's environment), I found an old piece of Mookaite that I friend gave me. And I shit you not, the thing physically vibrated in my hand when I touched it.

I've been holding it ever since. Have totally and honestly forgotten all the exact properties of the stones I own. It's been such a long time. I was also practicing "crystal/crystal energy psychicism" when I was homeless as a means to survive the streets so...I'm pretty sure my PTSD is blocking a lot of that information out.

I guess it's time to rediscover crystals again? Not buying any new ones. Just utilizing the ones I already have to the best of my ability. I feel like it was wrong that so many of them were taken from the ground to be pretty baubles for people. I might as well make it worth something by using them to help myself/others/incorporate them into my active life so they hold meaning.

Mookaite feels very grounding and soothing already. It feels like a very receptive stone, inviting energy into it much like organic pearls do. I also notice that it has almost a dream/trance-like affect to it's grounding energy. I think maybe I'll take time to meditate with it tomorrow.

◇ Brad pretty much runs the household that I live in. Further details; I live in a BDSM polycule, Brad is one of the doms. One of Brad's relationships was very close to being homeless recently. While normally, being homeless is... [redacted PTSD disassociating moment] being non-binary and homeless during COVID-19 is even worse. So we took them in. Inevitably, we had to make some major adjustments (about space, because technically we're fitting 9 people in a 2 bedroom house). It's been a test of adaptability through chaos for everyone. One of the major areas of contention is that everything inside the house is getting moved, rearranged, or tossed. And some people (mainly [redacted name]) is absolutely 100% terrible at adapting to change, unless someone is literally dying. Also, while I get that none of this can really be helped, I'm also a bit annoyed by the sudden introduction of someone new.

But even if I'm annoyed by it, I wasn't about to say "no" when Brad told us what was going on. I'm not a monster. I was homeless too and Brad helped me get off the streets. This person, while I don't know them well enough to make a judgement, deserves the same chance that I did to get stable in an era where stability is a pipe dream.

I'm actually not the one having the hardest problem. Surprising, it's the spirit of the house that's having the hardest problem. Our house is an old 1950's model built at the corner of a crossroads. Technically the house kinda exists as a liminal space. And there's so much stuffed inside of it that theoretically anything *could exist* in the house. Sometimes weird shit pops up and then disappears. It's very similar to the Seattle house I lived in when I was with [KILL BILL SIRENS] but has less of a metaphorical underworld cave vibe and more of a Howl's Moving Castle vibe. Anyways, the house itself is having a bad time adjusting to all the change/cleaning that the new roommate is doing...because it keeps hiding and moving (specifically) all the stuff that the new roommate has. They're not a stoner. They have a decently good memory. And I know that nobody in the house would do something like that. Plus, they apparently heard disembodied laughter right after discovering something was missing. The genuis locci (house spirit) is fucking with 'em hard.

I've never seen the genius locci do this before. The worst it ever did to me was hide a really expensive Egyptian cotton pillow case once. It eventually spat it back out after cuddling with it, I imagine. Seriously; Egyptian cotton sheets. Get you some.

So after the 100× time today that the new roommate was swearing about their missing things, I suggested that maybe they need to butter up the genius locci with gifts. Kinda romance the house a bit. Give it something so that it builds a relationship with the spirits that live here. They're a (self-professed) baby witch whose background is Jewish. They mostly excel at kitchen witchery (for now) and incorporating the works and wisdom of the Torah into their life. So they weren't too certain on ritualistic offerings to a house spirit. But with some suggestions from me and listening to their own intuition, they were able to put something quick together. It's nice to see people using magic around the house and learning new skills. And to their benefit, I felt the house chill out a bit after the ritual/gift giving was done.

I have been giving the house/my guides a portion of my nightly tea every now and then. It's honestly nothing fancy but I figure small gifts count for something right?

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thisnerdsadventures · 3 years

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I, a campaign manager

so in addition to being a CTO, a CS major, and a dorm vice president, i was also a campaign manager for 2 weeks (the exact campaign that I was managing is not entirely difficult to figure out if you really want to know, especially if you click on the links BUT i will be trying to not mention it specifically here lol). You might be wondering - (1) why and (2) how did you end up becoming a campaign manager..... you're not even a poli sci/gov/humanities/literally anything vaguely related to this major??

You're correct, yes, how did this happen? Well that's a great place to start this story:

How in the world this happened

Friends drag you into stuff. This happens to be the same friend that dragged me to New York, and then was 20% of the reason I got dragged into the negotiation class, and then was maybe 15% of the reason i got dragged into nonprofit activities? In terms of providing unique opportunities in my life, she definitely takes the cake. So one day, she says "I'm running for this position," and me and the squad says "we gotchu." What does that mean? Clearly wasn't sure in the beginning, but we were texting campaign strategies and slogans and tiktok ideas in the chat for fun. None of us had any real responsibilities, especially since the actual candidates were still weighing the playing field and figuring out their platform.

I also was a course 6, so I guess there was some expectation that I would make the website, even though I didn't actually code the website from scratch.

but anyways, it was actual campaign time.

CAMPAIGN SZN

After they figured out the campaign platform, it was game on for the campaign materials. We spent a lot of time on artwork, we photoshopped pictures from a photo shoot, we came up with campaign motto ideas, we brainstormed strategies for officially announcing the campaign. We had an actual campaign meeting to talk over things in mid-April where I met like six different people, friends from both candidates on this ticket, who were supporting this effort. We had a google drive AND a Dropbox. Look at this:

Despite this seemingly organized effort, it was not that organized because this publicity team didn't actually actively do anything for like a week. Many reasons for this: one being it was actually the semester, and it was also CPW weekend. Unfortunately for me, that weekend was literally hell for me, because I was managing this site for our nonprofit, CPW events (so like five zoom calls on a Saturday), classes (because those are still happening), and then the campaign thing finally started, about a week before voting opened. In the form, of a website.

So the tl;dr is I developed an entire Squarespace website in one night. Yes, one night. I had to model it from I think the website from a Harvard campaign site, which took me like three or four hours on a Saturday night, which is a very fast time in my opinion to learn how to use Squarespace. I also bought a domain and figured out how to connect it to Squarespace at like 1 in the morning, which was the first domain I ever bought in my life!

(It expires in a month. I am absolutely going to let it die.)

Also, if anyone from squarespace is reading this for some reason, yall made a really solid product. I actually was very happy with my experience. You all should use it, I am 100% not sponsored by them at all, but honestly it was a very good experience. If you need to develop a website in four hours and don't have a lot of webdev experience, definitely consider it. You can even see website clicks and user analytics, it's actually really put together.

The next day we spend a lot of time going through website changes and artwork changes. It's bad. We had so many discussions about color palettes and the advantages of a 3 column vs 4 column layout. Yes. I'm serious. I'm starting to go crazy.

If anyone's interested, I would say that our website definitely was better than the other campaign's website. Like objectively. Like both campaigns were great, but the website? well. Here's the link (archived because I only paid for 1 month of squarespace :D) The amount of detail that went into it is actually incredible, the amount of spacing, i even had to custom CSS the header image so that mobile headers would show up correctly.

THE CAMPAIGN VIDEO

so sometime during this week, I had this thought about making a really good campaign video. I was very inspired by some of these Google ads that started with a Google search bar. (Yes, I am aware that I am that much of a Google simp.) To be honest, rewatching this ad, I really definitely just copied this entire ad lol, it's ok we don't have to talk about that.

That Wednesday, we coincidentally talked about what makes campaign videos successful. We talked about how Trump's incendiary imagery helped stoke the flames and how it was really effective in getting people to vote, and eventually helped him beat Clinton in the presidential election. So I went and took that and grabbed news clips and campus videos and overlayed that in the video, and it went from like a solid 6 to an 8 immediately, in my honest, unbiased opinion. You can see what I mean in the video itself: [link].

We also had to put together quite a few interviews about what they wanted from the school and were looking for in their candidates, which took a million years of coordination, but we somehow got it done in three days, and everything was put together in a flurry of a weekend, unending changes and small fixes for sixteen hours straight. I could not even tell you how much I learned about premiere pro and how to use layer masks and everything. I even composed the music for the first fifteen seconds of it. Literally, composed, it.

And so on a Sunday afternoon FINALLY right before voting, the video drops. I'm sitting in my backyard absorbing the sun because I hadn't left my computer for 48 hours straight.

It gets like 1000 views or impressions or something in like two days, which is incredible for me, since I'm not a professional by any standards, but I am considering being a professional campaign manager at this point. By the way, we're also managing an Instagram page, a Facebook page, a tiktok page, a website, our individual social media pages, and we're trying to synchronize this video drop and all of our publicity efforts across every single one of these channels. It's chaotic at best.

VOTING SZN

So it's voting week, where we give everyone an entire week to vote. Across the week, it's mostly a waiting game, we make a few more tiktoks and funny videos that we publicize to get out the vote more. The last day, we're thinking about it, and we know the final vote's gonna be close, so we message every. single. person. in our Facebook friends list. I think I singlehandedly convinced like twenty people to vote (and hopefully vote for our ticket).

There's a lot of drama about different stuff. I won't really talk about it because I think it got really messy, but this week and entire couple weeks was a lot to get through honestly. As a reminder, I'm also working on my senior thesis and my nonprofit website work is peaking at this point, so everything is very, very bad and none of us have slept in a while. Also it's the pandemic.

Finally, the results come out. We lost by like 20 votes or something, out of 1500 or so total votes casted or something like that. It's one of the highest voter turnouts in school history or something, I don't quite remember. After that, we're so emotionally drained from this whole thing that we just don't talk about it for a while and that's that.

If the ticket won, I wonder how it would've turned out. I feel like things would've continued to be busy, and maybe that's not a great thing. So maybe everything happened for a reason. I don't know, but those three weeks were quite interesting, quite fun, quite odd. I'm putting those videos in my personal portfolio and am putting Adobe Premiere Pro and Squarespace on my resume and moving on.

Anyways, thought I'd just share! i haven't posted in a while, and this was definitely one of my #weird #odd stories from my time at MIT, which is quite reminiscent of #weird #odd at MIT in general.

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canimal · 5 years

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I wanted to write a time travel fanfic and about Evan Rosier/Hermione Granger as a main pairing but... I'm stuck. I didn't choose the most redeemable character (Rosier was killed by Moody after a magical fight) and it's complicated bc how Hermione can fall in love with someone like Evan no matter how charming and smart he is ? How did you deal with that (Hermione, Death Eater and their ideology) ? All I can see is something like Jaime/Brienne (GoT) and a very slow burn. But it still feel wrong.

(Please bear with me as this is going to be a super long response. I’ll put it underneath the cut so those who want to read it can read it and those who want to scroll past it can do so quickly.)

To be perfectly honest, if a story feels “wrong”, you shouldn’t be writing it. Trying to force something that you don’t feel comfortable writing and don't fully believe in will not only make for a story that feels forced and unnatural to the reader, but it will also become a story that you will not enjoy writing. (Never forget that this is our hobby, not our job.). Eventually, you would likely hit a wall where the story was unable to progress further and you’d be stuck. Lots of writers try to write a story with certain elements or pairings that are “trendy” and end up stuck because they forced a story. Writing should flow fairly smoothly. I’m not saying that writers should never stumble or feel blocked, but I am saying that if you’re not allowing a story to remain organic and grow naturally, you will find you quality and likely your own enthusiasm and enjoyment in writing the story suffer.

Why do you want to write a story with Evan Rosier? Is it because you find his character fascinating or you want to uncover more about him? Or is it because he’s not a character that’s written about a lot and you’re hoping to stand out in a growing sea of Death Eater stories?

I promise I’m not trying to be rude or condescending, even if it seems like it. This is an honest question. If your answer is on the first couple, awesome. Go for it.

But, if you’re hoping writing about him will get you instant recognition and a large number of followers on your story immediately, I’m sorry to tell you that that probably won’t happen. Most readers don’t want to take a chance on unknown characters. They just don’t. I’ve mentioned this many times, but when I first started writing Thorfinn Rowle as more than just a one-dimensional bad guy in the background in first, The Dark Mage’s Captive and then Parolee and His Princess, I frequently got PMs and reviews asking me who the fuck Thorfinn Rowle even was and that I might actually get more people to read my stories if I didn’t write such weird pairings. 🙄 (Let’s not forget the troll who commented “This should’ve been a Dramione” on literally every single chapter at least twice. Sigh.) So it’s both amusing and incredibly frustrating to have readers in the fandom announce that Thormione is their OTP when most of them wouldn’t have given my stories the time of day when I was writing them and they were the ONLY Thorfinn stories in existence on FFN for certain and probably everywhere else. Because so few people were interested in reading a story with Thorfinn as the main love interest when I was actually writing Parolee and His Princess, if I was only writing the story in an attempt to stand out and not because that was the story I wanted to write, then I likely would’ve gotten frustrated and quit before I ever finished.

So, if you’re serious about writing an Evan Rosier story because it’s what you want to write, I wish you the best of luck. It’s always challenging to write a character with little to no background info in canon. Challenging can also be a great deal of fun. If we never challenge ourselves as writers, we won’t ever get any better. Writers must be willing to learn and try new things if they want to get better. Practice is crucial. Too many writers (professional and otherwise) get to a place where they don’t believe they need to improve and their writing gets stagnant. It’s sad.

Now to your question about how or why Hermione might fall in love with someone with such a different and dangerous ideology... there are many different ways this can be tackled. I must stress thought that you make sure the decision you make makes sense within your story. Don’t try to force something. Let it grow naturally.

First of all, I don’t believe anyone is unredeemable. (Or irredeemable. Same meaning, right?) Perhaps it’s because of my own personal faith and religious beliefs, but I don’t believe anyone is wholly evil or wholly good. Yes, even in this hyper-partisan world we now live in, I don’t believe that anyone (even those who might disagree with me) are pure evil. This has actually gotten me a lot of grief from angry trolls and super sensitive former readers alike. I’ve been accused of being an “apologist” for all manner of depravity including, but not limited to, rape, violence, murder, racism, all the bad things ever, etc. simply because I believe that no is unredeemable... irredeemable. Ugh, whatever. You know what I mean.

Everyone has good qualities in them, even those who appear to be nothing but evil. Far fewer good qualities than most certainly, but still there. I’m also a firm believer that people, even really bad people, can have an existential change of heart and want to be a better person. Many just have to be given the opportunity to change. Of course, I don’t believe that they shouldn’t be punished for their crimes or they should be excused just because there’s something good about them. I’ll never understand why I’ve been accused of being an apologist. 🙄 Some people are truly exhausting.

For every story about a Death Eater falling for Hermione, there’s a different explanation. If you’ve ready any, you’re probably already familiar. Because I try very hard to make every story I write unique from the others I’ve already written, I’ve mixed it up. Antonin only joined for knowledge and power without realizing until too late what was really happening. Rodolphus was pressured by his wife in one and his grief and depression made him fall further in than he meant to. Sometimes the Death Eater was pressured by family to follow in their footsteps; others by their peers. There are countless reasons why people join these kinds of groups. Disillusionment, looking for a place to belong... you really could make it anything. I’ve known people who were drawn in and brainwashed by cults because they were desperate for purpose, for belonging, for a feeling like their life actually mattered. It can be super easy to get sucked into a cult and takes years to get out... if you can.

JKR wrote the Death Eaters as being simply bad for bad’s sake. They’re almost all one-dimensional. No person is actually one-dimensional. They have hopes and fears and dreams just like everyone else. Maybe they thought they believed in the sort of pro-Pureblood world that Voldemort imagined, but once they got in they were in over their head. Reality rarely meets our expectations. People grow and change. Even my own beliefs have changed as I’ve grown older. What I used to think was important no longer is and there are issues I have done a complete 180 on as I’ve grown up and begun to live in what I call “grownup reality”. (Life is much different for me than it was even when I was just in my twenties and how I see the world has changed drastically in some instances.). So if experience and time has been able to shape and change my beliefs and even my values to a minute degree, why could the same not be said for a Death Eater who discovered all was not as it seemed when they were recruited?

It’s also important to remember that no one thinks, acts, or believes like everyone in their set group one hundred percent of the time. Each individual has their own thoughts and beliefs. Maybe they joined because they hated Muggles, but then they realized they were wrong to do so. Maybe their family pressured them to join but they didn’t agree. Maybe they were afraid to die so they joined. I know a lovely man whose father died in World War II fighting for the Nazis - not because he was an admirer of Hitler and believed in everything dreadful and evil the Nazi party believed in. No, his father was conscripted into the German Army and fought because he would’ve been arrested in the best case scenario and executed in the worst. His young wife and their two small children could’ve also been in danger had he refused. It’s a terribly sad story. And hardly the only one. That’s just one example. History has countless other incidents all over the world when scared people fought and fell in line with a terrible leader because they had no other choice. Or at least it seemed like they had no other choice. Not everyone is strong and brave enough to stand up to injustice and evil when their lives are on the lines. Humans by our very nature can be quite cowardly at times.

It’s possible that a person who has done evil deeds or believed just absolutely atrocious things could want to change and be a better person. Though it wouldn’t be easy, someone like Hermione could choose to forgive them for their past. Especially if they’re truly remorseful.

Of course, it’s also unfortunately true that there are sometimes relationships that are just absolutely toxic. Love can make idiots of us all. How many women (and men to an extent though not nearly as often) see the potential in a man and want to change them into something good and perfect? It happens so often it’s a cliche. Woman falls in love with bad boy. Wants to change him. Stays with him with hopes and dreams that he’ll stop being so awful. Is disappointed over and over again. Have you ever known someone who fell in love with a truly terrible person and even though their relationship wasn’t healthy whatsoever never seemed to quit them? Kept going back for more even when everyone told them it was a terrible idea? I’m pretty sure you have. You might’ve even been in one of those relationships yourself. I know I was. No, he might not have been a murderous minion of a madman, but he certainly had his terrible qualities that I thought I could help him get past. Tale as old as time.

I could go on and on and on about reasons why Hermione might fall in love with a completely unsuitable man who might even wish her dead, but there’s no reason. It could be for a thousand reasons. And don’t forget, Hermione isn’t exactly some innocent paragon of virtue herself. She’s pretty dark even in canon. Trapping a lady in a jar? Cursing a girl’s face possibly permanently? Leading another witch into a forest knowing there are centaurs in there who are dangerous? And those are just the things that unobservant Harry noticed! Who knows what she was doing off-stage? She has her own darkness and her own demons to fight. She’s not perfect nor is she some pure angelic creature who only uses light magic for good. Nah, she’s pretty twisted at times. (On a side note - Please don’t try to write her as being all-powerful, perfect, and never do anything the least bit bad. That’s not her character at all. It bothers me to see her written as some sort of pearl-clutching virgin who has never done anything bad in her entire life. That’s NOT the Hermione I read in the books.)

You just have to find the right motivation in your own story. If you’re not forcing the story and allowing it to develop naturally, you’ll figure it out. If you’re forcing it, I’m afraid you’re going to stay stuck.

I hope this can be so some help! Sorry I’m rambled on and on and on.

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thesickpanda · 4 years

Text

Where is My Mind?

Stress can make you feel like you're going crazy.

I cannot emphasize this enough. Long-term, persistent and intense stress well above your baseline levels can make you feel like you're losing your mind.

Life is stressful and when I think back to when the intense periods of stress started in mine it gets a bit ridiculous because I grew up in a domestically violent household with severely mentally ill parents in a country on the brink of civil war with one of the highest crime rates in the world. So I have been kinda stressed for a very long time. However, in more recent months, the level of acute stress I've been experiencing has made me feel disconnected from reality. I've experienced derealisation a number of times due to Lyrica withdrawal and accidental cannabis highs. But this one is different. The depersonalisation I’ve been experiencing is from pure, unrelenting stress. I really did question my sanity more than once.

In July, I saw my psychologist to describe this feeling to her. She very helpfully drew a diagram which explained the neuroscience of why we feel this way when we've experienced high levels of stress for a long time. It was really helpful to see that because it reassured me that what I was feeling was, as much as this can be said, "normal", given the amount of strain I was under. But the stress hasn’t let up since then and I have been well above my baseline for much too long.

Long story short, I haven't really recovered since my family visited me last year. 2018 was a year from hell. 2019 hasn’t been much better but for different reasons. Basically, the hardships I’ve endured being the leader of a non-profit all these years reached critical mass and finally, at long last, broke me. After 8 years of pouring all my heart, soul and every last spoon I had into it, I quit last month…and to very little fanfare at that. 3 people turned up for our final meeting, and only because we needed to hand them the organization’s physical assets. We had a little unplanned dinner out and that was that.

I'm grateful to the handful of people who have reassured me they will continue its legacy beyond my departure, genuinely I am, but overall I think I stayed in that position at least a year longer than I should have. I feel incredibly jaded and cynical about the whole thing.

And I’m sorry if this offends anyone, but screw Sydney’s activists. The vast majority of them can barely call themselves that. I have never been in such an apathetic, vain, self-centered and lazy city when it comes to political activism. This migrant has had enough of trying to get Australians to care about their own issues. (And yeah, the people I handed the non-profit over to? Also migrants).

It is telling that the final meeting was also the night before we moved house (because we always had to wrap our own lives around the goings on of that organisation, not the other way around, which is another major reason we quit). So after an hour and a half’s drive into the city, we had to get home late to get up early the next day to start that fun process.

But I am getting ahead of myself. Before we ever got to moving day, we first had to find a house. If you haven’t done it before, let me tell you, the process of house hunting on a tight budget in a hostile market is disgustingly stressful.

We were looking from June. The property market in Sydney is unbelievably expensive and even though it experienced a so-called "correction" for a year, (meaning that house prices stabilized instead of continuing to rise), that ended just as we entered into the property hunt. I am extremely grateful that we got the house we did at the price we did, but my God, getting to that point nearly killed me. I keep explaining to people that it felt as if my partner and I ran full blast over broken glass to the edge of a dock, leapt several metres and grabbed onto the barnacles of a departing ship by our fingernails. I really do think we may have been among the last millennials that got on that “property” ship, and it was only because, at long last, we had help from my partner's extremely wealthy parents. After shaming us for a decade for not being able to afford impossible house prices (“ok boomer…”), he finally relented and helped us out. Again, I'm grateful, but also disgusted that this is the world we live in. Housing should be a human right and we shouldn't have this intergenerational greed and infighting over something so basic. Forgive my inner socialist.

Finding the house was only the first part of the equation; moving into it was the next step.

The moving process was incredibly arduous. At the time we should have been packing up the house, my partner's work decided to send him interstate for business on multiple occasions. By the time moving day came round, we were not ready and we couldn't afford to pay removalists. We enlisted the help of two amazing friends and Joe's brother-in-law. Again, super grateful that I had their help, but my God, was it intense. It took the better part of four days to move everything. We had to pay off the mortgage and the rent for the previous place for a two-week period, putting considerable strain on our savings. At the same time, we needed to get some work done in the new house so that was being done while we were trying to sort out the old house. The rental laws in this country are a joke and are widely considered to be abusive to renters, including by many of my American friends who now live here. I doubt we will ever see our bond returned, even though we were treated like crap living there for three years in a house that was not sealed, had no insulation or air conditioning, leaked and was draughty, didn't have proper doors et cetera et cetera. I mean, we had maggots falling from the ceiling… twice. The place was rotting and rotten but because my partner couldn't completely colour match the paint when he tried to cover up what was absolutely reasonable wear and tear on one of the walls, I'm sure we will lose all that. As usual, the landlord will claim it costs our entire $1800 bond to get a $50 an hour painter in to patch up one wall. They always do this. In your contract it says reasonable wear and tear are a few knocks and dings on the wall and that the tenant is not expected to pay for that. In reality, in every rental we have ever lived in, the landlord has refused to refund the bond when there’s been even the slightest bit of damage, even if we had a record of being model tenants. It was almost comical how hard my partner was trying in the middle of the move to cover up a few scrapes on the walls from moving furniture in and out. It all came to nothing because for love nor money he couldn't find the correct match of paint. And then of course he had to mow the entire grounds of the last rental when he really wanted to be using his weekends to sort out and unpack the new house. Good God, it was awful.

My partner and I barely spent any quality time together during this period and he was extremely stressed out and distant from me. I totally understand why but the whole thing flared every single one of my conditions and I needed him as my carer. But he couldn’t really do that, as he was trying to do literally everything else. Moving house is hard on a healthy body, never mind one with two chronic pain disorders, irritable bowel and generalised anxiety disorder. And then (because of course), a family member of mine (one of the abusers) picked that moment in time to start harassing me, thereby triggering my PTSD which led to a nervous breakdown which led to intense depersonalisation, insomnia and nausea. Everyone and everything seemed unfamiliar to me, even my partner. I started to doubt whether or not I loved myself or anyone else anymore. I just felt so completely and utterly disconnected from the world. I began to lie awake at night terrified that I was fading away, that I could no longer feel anything other than fear. All the time, people kept saying, “congratulations on the new house! You must be so excited!” But all I could feel was sickness and dread.

Two weeks after moving in, I had to drop my Lyrica one more time. This drop has been very difficult. All of the stress has led to some dark thoughts in the back of my mind which of course Lyrica then co-opts and exaggerates. I have had a more than a few moments of suicidal ideation. Everything in my life on paper has improved. We are now homeowners, we live in a beautiful part of the world, we've made some new friends lately, things are settling down et cetera et cetera. But I feel like I'm in shell shock after this year and last year. I haven't even had time to process that I am no longer the president of the not-for-profit I founded and formulated an identity around. I just haven't had the time to process literally anything. I've been more exhausted that I have ever felt. Oh, I'm sure everyone will say, “this too shall pass”. But I do not believe that bullshit. Yes, this individual stressor will pass but more horror will come and I know that makes me sound super negative but I just cannot remember a period of time when things were calm for… I can't remember. I just feel like I've been in a hurricane forever.

So yeah, I'm writing this post while experiencing Lyrica withdrawal which makes me depressed and anxious. It's probably colouring my vision on everything. Fine. But I have been going through Lyrica withdrawal for two years, so it’s kinda become my normal. My final drop is on 26 December after which I will experience two more months of withdrawal and hopefully, after that, some semblance of sanity again. In the midst of all this I have to study for my citizenship test which is at the end of this month. I don't get any government support for my disability until I have been a citizen of this country for eight years, and as I’d like to survive my 40s, I need to get citizenship now. But yeah… studying an eighty-page textbook with an addled brain is just so much fun.

Of course, during this time we haven’t have Internet because we had to disconnect the old place and it takes an age for it to get reconnected at the new place. We only recently acquired it at the new house. So there are piles of emails waiting for me. Many of them are from friends and I'm glad for that. But there is also a lot of life admin I now need to do. I have to change my address on every account I hold, which is really tedious. We have also had to organise time with family. Because my partner's family helped us get this house, we feel especially obliged to go to every single one of the family events, of which there are many. He comes from a big Catholic family so every relative who comes to visit, every party that's being held, every birthday, wedding, funeral and religious holiday, we’re now expect to attend. We have several in the next few weekends, taking up most of the time we *needed* to be unpacking the house. We’re obligated now.

In all this negativity, though, I want to say that I am genuinely grateful to be one of the lucky ones to have a house. I know it sounds like I am whining about a good thing. It's not that I'm not glad for this (I know how ridiculously privileged we are). I just haven't been able to really feel it yet. I think that regardless of what happened this year, I’d be feeling this way. Something broke in me last year and just hasn't really come back. I feel shattered.

And all my chronic pain conditions have been wearing me down too. I found out this year that the operation that cost me and my friends so much money (to remove that nerve in my foot) had failed. Or rather, the surgeon had completely botched it up. I have PTSD from that surgery. Just the thought of going back to have it done again fills me with heart racing terror and cold sweats. I’ve had numerous surgeries before that one and been fine, but the reaction I had from the anesthetic last time was so severe, and the recovery so long, that I genuinely fear it more than almost anything else. And yet I need to go in for that nightmare all over again in 2020. I'm going to be asked to trust a different surgeon to do the same so-called “simple operation” to restore some functionality to my left foot. My right knee is probably also going to need surgery since it has been resistant to any physiotherapy rehabilitation. And on top of all this, my poor partner's health has also taken a hit this year from the stress which is worrying me. Because I can always do with some more worry…

But hey! This too shall pass! You should be happy! Life is great now! Yay yay yay!

Fuck, sometimes it just want to be allowed to feel shit and to have other people say “okay you can feel shit now. Yes, some good things have happened but right now you need to process the bad and that's okay too”. My lord, if people could just do that for me. If they could just let me feel what the fuck I need to feel.

What I feel is exhausted, scared, freaked out, traumatized, weird, sick, angry, overwhelmed and fed up. And I need to feel those things before I can feel anything else.

#rant #Fibromylagia #chronic illness #chronic pain #chronic stress #stress #overwhelmed #personal catharsis

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thousandeyesand-one · 6 years

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The Alliance of Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen

I was re-reading ADWD recently & I came across something that prompted this meta..I don't know if this has been done before it probably has been but since the S07E07 script has been released I really wanted to address the politicality of everything this season. This is gonna be a thread!

S07E01- DRAGONSTONE

There isn't much jonerys build up as such in this episode instead both Jon and daenerys's individual storylines are set up. Jon organizes Northern defence which is literally his entire motive this season to strengthen & weaponise the Northern army against the coming Storm. Daenerys reaches Westeros, dragonstone more accurately. Her storyline is set up as a new force in the game here to retake the iron throne & unite Westeros under her rule.

S07E02-STORMBORN

•This episode is where the collision course of these long lost targ babes was set up & no am not talking about tyrion's or sam's raven. I am talking about Olenna Tyrell. During the council meeting of daenerys & all her allies they discuss their battle plans after which Olenna advices dany. I may be wrong but olenna's advice sounds very similar to quaithe's prophecy/advice. The show didn't really adhere to dany's one too many prophecies in the books. Her stay in Qarth was much more prophetic than the show bothered to show including quaithe. She was in the show but not nearly as highlighted as the books treat her to be. Here are the quotes..

".. peace never lasts my dear. Will you take a bit of advice from an old woman?" *dany nods* "He's a clever man, your hand, I've known a great many clever men I've outlived them all. You know why? I ignored them the Lords of Westeros are sheep, are you a sheep? No. You're a Dragon. Be a Dragon."

-Olenna Tyrell S07E02

"Hear me, Daenerys Targaryen. The glass candles are burning. Soon comes the pale mare, and after her the others. Kraken and dark flame, lion and Griffin, the sun's son and the mummer's dragon. Trust none of them. Remember the Undying. Beware the perfumed seneschal." "Daenerys. Remember the Undying. Remember who you are." "The blood of the dragon"

-Quaithe (ADWD)

•So like many other character amalgamations or character moments amalgamations that the show has done over 6 seasons before, Olenna served quaithe's purpose in S07. Because her words set daenerys's behavior & mindset for the entire length of the season. Olenna's/Quaithe's words are completely in contrast to what Mel said earlier in that episode.. " D: .. and you believe this prophecy refers to me?M: Prophecies are dangerous things I believe you have a role to play as does another.. the King in the North Jon Snow." "Summon Jon Snow let him stand before you & tell you the things that have happened to him.. the things that he has seen with his own eyes" Mel unlike Olenna or quaithe asked daenerys to stand equal to someone. To consider this Jon Snow guy & his story as both of them have a role to play in the Long Night. Daenerys soon turns this mel's prophetic orchestrated alliance into political one by commanding to send a raven to ask Jon Snow to Bend the Knee.

When they are discussing about making this invitation a political one this ☝️is how Mel reacts she doesn't approve of this but she doesn't say anything coz she learned from her mistakes. "My time whispering in the ear's of Kings has come to an end.. " She let this alliance that she set up take a shape of its own without interfering as to how or what!

•Jon on the other hand ever since he saw the Night King at Hardhome his mind has been hell bent on the Great War. He was barely ever interested in the politics of the Seven kingdoms so now is no different time that he is using his position as King in the North to ultimately fulfill his main motive of securing the North against the AotD. Although Tyrion's raven arrived at Winterfell it spoke nothing of Mel but it was a very political invite. It's hard to say whether mention of Mel's recommendation would've made Jon & Ser Davos trust this message right away or negate it, but tyrion doesn't speak of it. Like a true shadowbinder Mel worked from the shadows & did what she wanted to do bringing Ice & Fire together! Jon knew this was political but he didn't approach this in a political way, sansa did, not Jon. Sansa talks about this being a potential trap about how North is one of the Seven kingdoms that daenerys wants to claim but Jon wants fire & dragonglass over anything else, both of which is exclusively available only with Daenerys. "We need this Dragonglass my Lord's we know dragonglass can destroy both white walkers & it's army, we need to mine it & turn it into weapons. But more importantly we need allies.. Night king's army grows by the day. We can't defeat them on our own we don't have the numbers. Daenerys has her own army & she has Dragon fire I need to try & persuade her to fight with us." This was never political for Jon he always ever had one goal which was to overcome the AotD either by hook or by crook. He never meant to be King in the North, even though North is truly been his home, he fought for Winterfell because he had to unite North against the dead. He is using his position as King in the North to see this mission through. Little finger tried to get all schemy & game of thronesy with Jon Snow in the crypts & Jon choked the political Mary out of his windpipe. He left the politics & the Kingdom to sansa & went to dragonstone to attain dragonglass & possible military help against the AotD.

S07E03- THE QUEEN'S JUSTICE

•Before the monumental meeting of Jon & Daenerys we are given a brief personal moment between Jon & Tyrion weight of which comes from their time together travelling to the wall before there was any conflict between the Starks & Lannisters. Indirectly daenerys's command by missandei brings the political in that moment by asking jon & ser davos to give up their weapons. On their way to the castle on the bridge/walkway the conversation Jon & Tyrion have.. "J: My bannermen think am a Fool for coming here.. T: of'course they do, if I was your hand I would've advised against it ... General rule of thumb Stark men don't fare well when they travel South. J: True. But am not a Stark." He knows he is not a stark by right just like he knows he isn't KitN by right but by public proclamation. He isn't here to fight for that but for what he has always fought for. The Great War. Then after entering the throne room the conversation between daenerys & Jon also had some picks I wanted to get to.. ▪Video Daenerys is applying Olenna/quaithe's words to use & remembering who she is & that the westerosi lords are sheep & to be a Dragon against the sheep. Similarly Jon isn't going to give up North that easily sure he isn't here to defend his title but the Kingdom trusted him to lead them he can't that easily surrender to a Targaryen that clearly all the Northern Lords hate. ▪Video Jon tried getting political with daenerys by bringing up the mad king & all but daenerys instead reminded him of himself & shut him up. He dropped the political past vs past act & stuck to the present & did what he came here for to get her help. But daenerys is trying so hard to sticking up to being a Dragon remembering who she is that she forgot Mel's advice to take Jon Snow's help but rather remembering olenna/quaithe's words. Jon makes it very clear that he is not her enemy but daenerys is just not convinced & is still sticking to her Dragon-ness, not giving up on what she wants. "The army of the dead is real. The Night King is real I've seen them"

Daenerys is reminded here☝️ of what Mel says to let Jon Snow tell her what he has seen. She still continues to live by Olenna's/quaithe's words to not trust anyone & treat the Lords of Westeros as sheeps & to be a Dragon so daenerys ends up giving that big ass speech of how she was born to rule the 7K & Jon still doesn't care about either his rule or her conquest sticking up for the only thing that is of utmost importance to him.. ▪Video Then finally Ser Davos gave the Jon Snow speech because c'mon like Jonny boi just can't with words. Specially coz he tried getting close to daenerys & was stopped by the dothraki instead Daenerys walked closer to him to show her strength which along with her speech definitely intimidated Jon. No matter how much people don't like to face it Jon was attracted to daenerys in the very first meet & Daenerys well she was being cocky at first but At the end she did realized that she found Jon Snow interesting. At this point Jon tried telling dany what he's seen, just as Mel asked, which nobody believed. Ser Davos was about to say what happened to him, his rebirth, just as Mel was hoping, which jon stopped him from divulging because if they didn't believe in the AotD then there is no way they'll believe in something that plays with the absolute concept of Life & Death. He didn't want to come across as a northern nutcase. Upon being forced by tyrion to kneel he at last unleashes his true political stance on daenerys. ▪Video

The first Jon & Daenerys meet was less Jon vs daenerys & more Melisandre vs Olenna/Quaithe advice. Dany is just as confused between those advices as Jon is eternally confused with every situation that's why he asks "am I your Prisoner?" You guys this he doesn't get diplomacy this dude has no political bone in his structure!

•Next it's the Tyrion-Jon conversation on the cliff where tyrion confirms to Jon he isn't a prisoner & that he should try & make this work because there is still a chance. Jon respects tyrion, tyrion is the person who started Jon Snow the boy on the journey to become Jon Snow the man that he has become. Jon tells him what everyone told him to expect of the mad King's Daughter but tyrion instead tells him to form his own opinion about her & gives his own learned opinion to him, Jon values it just as he valued tyrion's opinion at castle black. Same way tyrion persuades daenerys to make this work & that there still a chance to forge an Alliance. Daenerys trusts tyrion that is why she chose him to be her hand his opinion matters to her as of now.. Daenerys sticks with remembering who she is but also can't seem to forget Mel's advice about listening to Jon Snow.

•Then next is the first meeting of Jon & Daenerys that really introduced Jon to daenerys & Daenerys to Jon previously the Queen met the King & King vice versa. Daenerys is reminded of Mel's advice again about listening to Jon Snow, she heard Jon Snow but didn't really believe him. That's why she turns back to look at him deliberating him on a whole. Battling Olenna/quaithe's advice vs Mel's. She finds jon genuine more genuine than anyone she's ever met but that she has this inner battle in her head regarding trust.

S07E04- THE SPOILS OF WAR

•In this episode there was the beloved Cave of sexual tension scene. Where Jon gives more proof to daenerys that the army of the dead is real. Daenerys completely heeds Mel's advice of listening to Jon like REALLY LISTENING to Jon instead of like prior she just heard him. All the carvings proved he knows what he is talking about & it's the truth. Not to mention they also realize they are attracted to each other. Just as they leave the cave Daenerys learns all her allies have been decimated & the unsullied have been lead astray into a possible trap. Now she realizes that she has been wrong, neither was olenna's/quaithe's advice wrong nor was Mel's advice wrong. Both advices were correct she placed them on the wrong people she should've ignored tyrion not Jon. Finally just to check whether this time round she is right or not she immediately puts jon on the spot to advice her neglecting tyrion.

"I never thought dragons would exist again. No one did. The people who follow you know that you made something impossible happen maybe that helps them believe you can make other impossible things happen. Build a World different from the shit one they've always known. But if you use them to melt castles & burn cities, your no different, you're just more of the same."

Jon's honest advice makes it clear to her that he is trustworthy as in he is not a clever Lord or anything like tyrion. Just an honest dude who knows what he's doing & stays true to it. Properly placing quaithe's words "Hear me, Daenerys Targaryen. The glass candles are burning. Soon comes the pale mare, and after her the others. Kraken and dark flame, lion and Griffin, the sun's son and the mummer's dragon. Trust none of them. Remember the Undying. Beware the perfumed seneschal." "Daenerys. Remember the Undying. Remember who you are." "The blood of the dragon" This advice this prophecy doesn't speak or relate to Jon in anyways. Because dany can trust Jon. Finally figuring every thing out for good & truly remembering who she is & ignoring any of tyrion's advices she mounts her dragon & goes to war. And you know when you wake the dragon .....

•Jon on the other hand didn't have a prophecy or anything to understand daenerys but he had missandei who he talked to about daenerys. Prior to which Ser Davos told him that almost everyone can tell Jon is attracted to Daenerys. He knows that. It might even have intensified as he saw his younger, naive self in daenerys. His self who said the same words to Mance that daenerys says to him. Jon doesn't deny his feelings just addresses it.. Jon then realizes daenerys is trustworthy & also realizes her conquest isn't just a power hungry quest for dominance she truly wants to do good in this shit world.

S07E05- EASTWATCH

•Episode begins with Daenerys talking to the leftover Lannister soldiers & trying to change their allegiance. Of'course the infamous Tarly's burning scene which in actuality was daenerys ignoring tyrion's advice & being the blood of dragon, remembering it & reminding everyone at the same time. She wasn't being or becoming mad she was staying true to being a Targaryen. Not Mad. Just being a true Targaryen Queen in Westeros with the blood of dragon & not the Queen that tyrion wanted her to be. And the Tarly's had a long time Karma coming for them. Instead of blaming it on karma most people blame it on daenerys. IGNORANCE

•Then Jon Snow is waiting for daenerys targaryen on the cliff & we get a Jon-Drogon moment. Which by every standard more than confirms to us the audience that Jon is a Targaryen. But unlike us daenerys doesn't know about S06E10 ToJ revelation so what's in this for her? Except for who would ever dare to love a Dragon there's actually a bit of quaithe's advice. "Remember who you are Daenerys. The Dragons know. Do you?"

"It makes the moment entirely between Jon & the Dragon" -Dan Weiss, Game Revealed Ep 5: Fire and Bloodlines.

So in this moment the dragons knew. Book dany will probably smell something rightaway but show dany doesn't yet know about Jon's bloodline or she doesnt have this ☝️ part of quaithe's advice/prophecy. When the jon-drogon moment ends another moment between Jon & daenerys begins.

After understanding how olenna's/quaithe's advice fits & where it fits exactly daenerys starts looking into Mel's advice to look into Jon Snow. She is already attracted to him & finds him interesting that for the first time she brings up the mystic side of things that she was ignoring talking about something she found worth pondering. Same with Jon once he found what daenerys actually is he started taking interest in her conquest for the first time initiating a political discussion. On top of which their attraction to each other is also increasing by the minute as they learn more about each other. Also arrival of Jorah & Daenerys's unusual connection with him gave Jon the heebie jeebies.

•Then there is the council meeting with Jon & Daenerys as unofficial allies discussing their next move in an understanding. Tyrion proposes the plan to capture a wight. •Considering that the running theme this season has been trust for both Jon & Daenerys. This scene is the starting of their romance in a much more deeper way. Daenerys has struggled with trusting people specially this season & it was evident to Jon when he first met her she obviously didn't trust him. When he saw her lash out on tyrion he knew she doesn't trust him anymore than she trusts Jon but when she met jorah it was clear to him looking at her vulnerable side come out with jorah that she trusts him. But at that point jon is deeply attracted to dany & he is aware that he doesn't have the connection with daenerys that jorah does due to a lot of shared history. So this scene was basically Jon asking daenerys to start that connection with him, compared to jorah he is a stranger for daenerys, he asks her to trust him because it's their best chance at a relationship. Jon taught daenerys the very concept of achieving that together he was talking about in the caves, which daenerys was confused about. And then beyond considering any prophecies or advices for the first time she trusts Jon. Because he first put his trust in her.

•Then the glorious see off scene between jon & daenerys before jorah silently slips away from daenerys upon seeing Jon walk upto her. Upon seeing dany embracing jorah & he yet again asks daenerys whether there is trust between them or not. Bringing up her conquest he asks her about his position in her life & she answers him not quite giving him what he wants to hear. She doesn't declare her trust for him but actually is playful about it. Unsure whether either of them have that right on each other to make either of them divulge any more info in uncertainty they depart from each other. The reason why Jon doesn't turn around, because as of now he isn't in Love with daenerys but rather he is in the process of getting there, anyone who has fallen in Love atleast once in their life knows there is a time after attraction & before love where ego's & uncertainty's has to be crushed. Jon doesn't wanna look like a pussy. Jorah on the other hand has been in love with dany for a long time he doesn't care about looking like a pussy he knows dany knows he is a p.. So he turns around.

CONTINUED..

#jonerys #jon x daenerys #game of thrones #anti cracksa

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legendarysongphilosopher · 6 years

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That One Girl I Have Searched The World For...

Begining

Let me start from last week basically I met this girl and she is this really kind, astonishing intelligent person (she also likes astronomy) and we share some similar hobbies (one of which is guitar 'this info will be required later.') we had been talking a lot for a week or two but one night she just deactivated her facebook out of the blue and honestly it never occurred to me to ask her for any other means of communication (number, Snapchat, Instagram...etc) so I started going through our old conversations hoping to find some way to reach her and it paid off. Turns out she goes to my old guitar teacher which I used to go to a couple of years ago, so I called him and asked if I could attend a class as a guest he agreed and said I should be there on Wednesday (it was Monday then so I had some time to practice) and with my guitar lessons starting so did me internally screaming because of the pain in my fingertips (I play acoustic guitar which I wouldn’t have touched any time soon if it wasn’t for her).

The Day I Met Her

Heads UP: some of you might find the first paragraph a bit boring, it is just extra information but will provide some insight for the rest of the story.

It was a normal windy day in the begging of June I was home watching Supernatural when someone from Horizon office called me (it is a nonprofitable organization I have been a volunteer at for quite some time now) they told me we need to deliver some packages to some unfortunate families since there was an eid coming out we wanted to help provide food to those who can not.

In Horizon, our projects are usually done as groups of four people do those as a team of four.

So I had to be at the office at Two O'clock but my fear of being late taking the best of me resulted in me sitting in the office at 1:30; it was fine I had city of fallen angels (shadow hunter series by Casandra Clare) with me so I started reading until everyone arrived which was 3:30...

Me being the introvert I am I tried to avoid unnecessary conversations and act as professional as an 18 years old could I didn’t really pay attention to what each individual in our group was doing until we were halfway through our list, and there she was,our photographer taking pictures of the kids and playing with them, asking how their lives were and what they would like to receive for the upcoming eid and this is when I got interested in her...

It was around 5 O’clock we were visiting the last families on our list and I was still developing the courage to start a simple conversation and to be honest I probably wouldn’t if I didn’t hear her talk about her pet cat with another one of our volunteers now I have never had a cat, my mom doesn’t trust me with that responsibility but I this was my window, this was my only chance “I have a white Persian cat” it took me less than a second to realize that once again my mouth worked faster than my brain but since my cousin has two Persian cats I know all there is to know about them and this was the chance I needed so we went on talking about cats and how cute they are.

It was eight, we just got out of the office after handing over the documents by now I knew the rest of the team a bit we had occasional conversations about the families we visited so when we got out of the building I waited for everyone to leave (they were waiting for taxis and I was the only guy in the group so I was just there to make sure everyone will go home safely) but she prefers buses over taxis so I offered to keep her accompanied until the bus station (I might have said my house is near there) even though my house is literally on the opposite side of the city but it was worth it, we had an awesome conversation and before she left I asked if she could send me the pictures she took today (I help with advertisement and raising donation for our organization) so she added me on her facebook and my story or rather my search for her began.

The Wednesday and The Next Saturday

Turns out she goes to my old guitar teacher which I used to go to a couple of years ago, so I called him and asked if I could attend a class as a guest he agreed and said I should be there on Wednesday (it was Monday then so I had some time to practice) and with my guitar lessons starting so did me internally screaming because of the pain in my fingertips (I play acoustic guitar which I wouldn’t have touched any time soon if it wasn’t for her).

I spent the past two days practicing my guitar but it still sounded awful.

My guitar practice was at 1 but I didn’t sleep all night long because I was busy practicing so by the time I got to my class I was a zombie functioning on coffee.. It was four hours of hell, she didn’t show up to that class or the next one nor the other one so at 5 o’clock I just gave up and decided to go home but before that I asked the teacher if it could be possible to schedule me for the same lesson as my friend and he agreed

I went to my music lesson and I waited, for hours... I was drowned in thoughts and scenarios the only time I was paying attention was when somebody opened the door and I had this temporary hope that this is her, she is finally here but that never happened..my teacher calling my name pulled me out of my daydreaming and he added "I have two other guitar students appointed for today but your friend was 3 hours ago, I am sorry but I don't think she is coming” and that sums up that day and the depression which followed, also I am starting to wonder if she has stopped attending her guitar lessons.

One Week Had Passed!

one week has passed since I last heard of her and I had all these different scenarios of what might be going on somewhere in this time period I wondered that she might have simply blocked me but our last conversation was:

Before you judge me I know I know it is a bit lame but she seemed to like it she was somehow fascinated by it so in order to make sure I haven’t done something that made her block me I checked with our mutual friends and it was the same with them as well.. she was just gone.

It was after dinner when I got a call from horizon saying they have this big event planned to help a refugee camp and they needed 15 volunteers despite my endless desire to stay in my room and just drawn my self in paintings I agreed to go and help.

Today!

I was late 'which is way out of character, I am usually 30m early but I was LATE this time' so I am rushing upstairs trying to get there as soon as possible and while I am going up I see two girls coming down, I didn't pay attention; I wanted nothing but to lay down in my bed and think so despite it being early in the morning I was already grumpy but deep down in my heart something was whispering “that was her”

By the time I got upstairs every other team was on their way (including the 2 girls I just saw)

we waited a bit longer for my best friend to show up so our team would be complete too, it was a half an hour drive so I told him about what happened in the morning and when we arrived at the camp we grouped up with rest of the volunteers and two of my best friends are already there and we pretty much spent the entire day arguing rather it is her or not.

They were identical, the same kind and lovely face with the beautiful smile the exact characteristics but with one major difference she has green eyes and I don’t blame my friend for not realizing the difference they never saw Darya and what they knew of her was what I had described.

It wasn’t until after lunchtime that they convinced me to go talk to her “MEER you have been looking for her EVERYWHERE and now that she is here you are just being shy and hiding in a corner???” shouted aros while glaring toward her, to be honest even though the first thing I noticed about Darya was her sky blue eyes and this girl clearly lacked those, aros encouraged me into talking to the girl and a part of me wanted to know who she was and if she was related with Darya or not.

She was busy taking pictures of a kid sitting on one of our packages, it was a boy probably 2 or 3 and he was playful so I didn’t really blame her for not noticing me the first time I called her (yes she was a photographer too...), "you look like Darya but I know for a fact Darya had blue eyes and your are green but your tone, your face, the way you behave resemble her a lot... my friends insist that you are Darya and at this point I am not sure anymore either..” she looked at the picture she had taken and then at me she said “Hello” while smiling and then added “I am her sister actually” I explained that I am one of her friends and that I am worried a bit considering that she has deactivated her social media and none of our mutual friends have any news of her; she surprised me by saying “ I know who you are, Darya told me about you. You have a cat right?” “uhum, yeah I do!” I might have sounded weird but I wasn’t even paying attention to the conversation anymore I was just thinking what else she might have told her about me and why would she tell her about me.

At the end of the event when we got back to the office I talked to her again and she assured me Darya was fine and the reason she wasn’t with us today is that she had to go to university I asked her if there was a way for me to get in touch with her she hesitated for a moment but handed me her phone and said “write what you want in the notepad, I will show it to her...

any logical person would have written something nice and reasonable or something that would attract their attention, me?

I wrote my number, my snapchat, and a simple sentence:

“wanna join the earth is a cat society?” with a smiley face next to it and it wasn’t until I got home and told my friend about it that I realized how badly I had messed up...

To Be Continued If Anything New Happens...

ALSO shoutout to kaylee for encouraging me to post this.. I made a new Tumblr account for this since I couldn’t remember anything about my old one..

#story #long reads #romance #cute #girlfriend #blog #reading #diary

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