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megafaunatic · 3 months

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fic writer meme

ty claire @microcomets for the tag!!!!

How many works do you have on Ao3?

seventy three !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jesus christ lol

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

five hundred twelve thousand three hundred AND THREE human words. PLUS some comics

3. What fandoms do you write for?

whateber catches my fancy... mostly danmei these days but 🤫 perhaps a new world in the works soon

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

oh jeez lol

you asleep and dreaming

atlas

linger in the sun

take me by the waist to the water (<- this one's having a renaissance these days bc of the donghua, by far the most kudos per day)

this tornado loves you

the people love wangxian!

5. Do you respond to comments?

VERY RARELY... i try to respond asap to anyone who asks about translating (i LOVE TRANSLATIONS) but other than that i feel very shy about replying to comments LOL 😵‍💫😵‍💫 even though i love when authors respond to MY comments...

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

for a while i wrote a lot of "missing scene" wangxians where it's just like a moment or a handful of moments in the middle of the action, and i think all of them have implicit angsty endings: because they're just a missing scene, and there's no continuation, you understand that "having that conversation"/"kissing or almost kissing then" changes nothing in the greater arc... wei wuxian still gives jiang cheng his golden core, is still reviled and then killed... etc... but definitely the angstiest fic i've written remains flightless bird which cair read and then immediately blocked out of their mind forever

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

MOST Of my fics that aren't the above missing scene fics are happy endings. some faves include no other waters and to be a good companion, both post-tyk happy endings; at least in this lifetime, my most recent take on mdzs happy ending; a lot's gonna change, a wedding fic which was written in honor of most beloved friends mary + aubrey's actual real life wedding (and actual real life happy ending)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not really lol probably once a year i'll get a rude comment that i immediately delete and go "? lol" about. i was NOT victimized by shino which >:/ okay... excluding me...

9. Do you write smut?

teehee

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you have written?

ive really only written one crossover (atlas: wangxian + hualian) which got it all out of my system. crossovers are hard to do well especially when all the things i'm into are in world structures that can't easily overlap

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no fics "stolen" as in reposted wholesale (TO MY KNOWLEDGE?) but definitely i used to notice some plagiarism here and there when wangxian was really popping! mostly specific turns of phrase/passages but sometimes whole concepts. also one time i tweeted a funny hualian thread about hua cheng purring and then a couple days later i decided i want to whip it up into a fic and then like 3 hours after i posted the fic i went and checked the tag (these were the days that you could check the tag more than once a day) and someone had posted their own fic that was just beat-for-beat my original thread. uncredited obviously. lol

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

YES AND I ACTUALLY KEEP A CHERISHED SPREADSHEET OF ALL THE TRANSLATIONS!!!! like claire, mostly spanish/russian/chinese. most exciting tls for me personally are the persian and turkish ones

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

NO!!!!!!! I'M TOO UNRELIABLE AND OVERPROTECTIVE!!!!!!! every time zoë and miriam or fey and fer talk about how much they love co-writing i'm like omg. wish i were constitutionally capable of doing such an activity. but i'm not

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

THE SCHOONER WINDFALL OF OCRACOKE ISLAND!!!!!!!!! ROLL THE CLIP!!!!!!!!!!!!

no uhh idk passions come and go! once i get Particularly Into a ship i'll come back and read fics for it years later... every ship fills a different niche in my heart...

15. What is a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

(HUGE BOLD LETTERS) pacific rim wangxian au i miss you so bad

also inception au wenzhou fic but that feels more likely to be finished... maybe one day...

16. What are your writing strengths?

precision + beauty of language; i am really funny; i'm good at choreography

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

PLOT :( PACING :(

18. Thoughts of writing dialogue in another language in fics?

I LOVE IT!!!!!!!! i like it the most when i personally can understand it LMFAO but like really well-written bilingual writing where you DON'T have to speak the second language in order to get the gist of what's being said - either bc of elegant/subtle translation in the narration or bc of context - is sooo good and so hard to do well

OR i love lianzi's approach to translation in her shl chinese restaurant au (ONE OF THE FUNNIEST FICS OF ALL TIME) where some of the text is written in chinese and you hover over it for the english translation

19. First fandom you wrote for?

technically les mis but that doesn't count. jojo's bizarre adventure

20. Favorite fic you have written?

ummmmm mmmm hmmmmm hmmmmm. at any given time i mostly like my most recent fics the best but i do think our eyes on the road is particularly enduring - i love a lot of the landscape writing i did in that one, i think i captured the vibe of "late winter in new england" particularly well!

I TAG... @cairoscene @vinelark @houtaroo @fruitdaze AND @uhuraisgay

#ask meme

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welcometothejianghu · 11 months

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Hello! This blog is @ladysisyphus wearing her c-drama hat (so you know it's very tall and fancy). I realize that some of my tagging is nonintuitive, so here's how to find what you're looking for, sorted vaguely by what you're likely to find the most of:

#tyk - This is the catch-all tag for (nearly) everything TYK/SHL/Word of Honor/Faraway Wanderers

#qi ye - Specifically Qi Ye/Lord Seventh material

#guardian - Reblogs and shitposts only; if you want my original observations, check out @dragoncityinteriordesign

#mdzs - A catch-all tag for Untamed/CQL stuff

#yi city bitch - A subset of the MDZS tag for, well, you know

#nirvana in fire - Nirvana in Fire

#the disguiser - The Disguiser

#sloof - Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty (or however many definite articles you put in there)

#a league of boyfriends - A League of Nobleman

#bloody youths - The Blood of Youth

#qi hun - Qi Hun/Hikaru no Go (the live-action one)

#thank god cit's friday - TGCF/Heaven Official's Blessing

#dmbj - Most DMBJ/Lost Tomb content is over at @katamaricule, but some of it also winds up over here

#house haunters - Once I couldn't remember the title of Psych-Hunter, so I said this instead, and it stuck

#kinnporsche - KinnPorsche, the Honorary Danmei

#yin yang master - Just the Dream of Eternity one, at least for now

#longxi - The Wind Blows from Longxi

#beyond evil - Beyond Evil

#kingdom - The Netflix zombie drama Kingdom

#winter begonia - Winter Begonia

#my roommate is a detective - He sure is.

#lotus boys- Mysterious Lotus Casebook

#that nice boy - A catch-all tag for pretty actors in pretty photoshoots (some of whom may be girls)

#honorary danmei - Not Chinese, but close enough for a reblog

If you're looking more broadly for my original contributions across various fandoms, try these:

#i made this - These are my original posts, some of which are moderately serious and respectable

#shitposting is soothing to me - These are specifically my original shitposts, memes, and other nonsense

#in real life - My various collections of actors from costume dramas not wearing their costumes

#rec post - Things I think you should watch!

#my fic - General fanfic by me; see also @w2writesstuff

#small fandom summer - My current fic project

Also, this whole thing runs on a queue, so if you wait around a while, there will be new stuff!

#i made this #meta

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42frogs · 1 year

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Tian Ya Ke/Shan He Ling Fic Masterpost

Sharing all of the TYK/SHL fics I've written so far on here (less than I'd like, ofc), because I never posted them to tumblr before! I might update this as I post more, if I remember to save the list.

A Blossom Fell on Flowing Water - TYK/SHL fusion - 6.8k words, Explicit, WenZhou.

Zishu decides he's going to have sex with Wen Kexing. He doesn't expect him to be a virgin.

Beneath the Veil - SHL - Fem!Wenzhou, Modern AU - 6.8k words, Explicit

Kexing discovers a new way to help her best friend through her chronic pain flare ups.

The Hatchet - TYK - Fem!Wenzhou, AU. - 2.9k words

Zhou Zishu has one last job for Helian Yi before she can retire early and spend her days on the beach. She encounters an unexpected hitch when she finds that the tomb she has been asked to rob has already been broken into.

A birthday gift for @bluemorningsoup

In gentle hours - SHL - Fem!Wenzhou, Modern AU - 1.7k words

When Kexing is sick, Zishu's morning goes awry. A small relationship study in the form of all comfort and very little hurt.

A gift for @xieliancore

Come around again - SHL - Wenzhou, Gu Xiang!centric. 1.2k words

Gu Xiang, reincarnated, finds an abandoned manor. The ghosts that haunt it take care of her.

Feels Like Coming Home - SHL - Fem!Wenzhou Modern AU - 1.7k words

Gu Xiang was working on a busy Friday, trying to help her sister's restaurant run smoothly, when the shock of her life turned up at the bar.

Observation Skills - SHL, Wenzhou, Chengling!centric - 1.6k words

Zhang Chengling takes a stroll through the market, meeting a disgruntled shopkeeper with an enigmatic customer.

Soul and Sentiment - TYK - Wenzhou, WKX centric - 2.5k words

Wen Kexing tries to learn a new hobby, and reflects on missed opportunities and the future that lays before him.

Swallow Me Whole - TYKv - Wenzhou, AU - 2.3k words

Zhou Zishu arrives as an inspector, searching out potential rebels following Helian Yi's ascent to the throne of the empire. She doesn't anticipate that she might find herself stuck at this backwater military base, chosen as a Dragon's favourite chew toy.

Another birthday gift for @bluemorningsoup

#shl #tyk #wenzhou #word of honor #tian ya ke #faraway wanderers #i hardly remember some of these...wrote in a haze

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deepestbluesky · 1 year

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a little fic for the day 4 prompt (cooking) of the DZZS Lunar New Year mini prompt fest! i was going to wait until the 25th in my timezone but then i got impatient ten minutes after writing it and decided to post it now. it’s the 25th in like half the world, good enough for me. (author’s notes under the cut at the end)

Chengling stared at the food with determination. Wen-shu had showed him this. He could do it! He repeated the steps to himself, like when shifu taught him a new skill.

First, peeling the lotus root. Alright! It didn't look good, not like the smooth roots Wen-shu had showed him, but it was peeled!

Next he had to cut the roots. He nicked his finger twice, but no blood got on the roots, so it was okay.

Oh, rice! Should he start the rice, or peel lotus seeds… Chengling thought, and decided he should peel the seeds. It would take a long time, and he didn’t want to overcook the rice.

Much later, Chengling set aside his bowl of seeds. His fingernails felt like they were peeling off too, but the seeds were ready. Just the rice now!

Wen-shu had shown him how to make rice repeatedly, and he remembered all the steps. Chengling knew he needed to add the seeds and roots when it started boiling. How boiling was that? Once the bubbles started popping up, he dumped the lotus parts in. Now to cover the pot.

And not get distracted! That was important. He settled in to wait.

Finally, Chengling took a deep breath and lifted the lid. It seemed alright...

---

That night, shifu ate two servings, and Wen-shu smiled and told him he’d done well. If this was how it felt to make your family food they enjoyed, no wonder Wen-shu was happy to cook for them.

so when i started this, i was just going to fudge what he was making for like 30s and then i realized that was a bad idea, so i did some googling about ancient recipes that we actually know! and most of the results were greek and roman [eyeroll emoji] but i did eventually find this page of someone making recipes from old chinese texts. this particular food is meant to be “Yujing fan 玉井飯, jade-well rice” (all the way at the bottom of the page lol) because a lot of the others were too simple for what i wanted or i was too clueless to be able to describe the cooking process. i realize that fresh lotus seeds especially would be not super easy to come by, but pretend that this is TYK verse and they’re staying for a few months near somewhere that has lotuses growing and it’s the right season for it.

#shl #tyk #my fic #zhang chengling #chengling is a good boy and he learns well it just takes him a long time!!!#so i have faith that he'll eventually get decent at cooking #according to gdocs this is 249 words and i've never been more proud #ive never tried to write a short thing under a limit ebfore! it was a challenge!#dzzslnyminifest

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ruiconteur · 7 months

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tag someone you want to know better

tagged by @extraordinarilyextreme, thank you～

favourite colour: pink maybe? i like softer shades/colours in general

last song: 天下 all under heaven by 成毅，曾舜曦，肖顺尧 liansanjiao

last movie: blade runner: the director’s cut

currently watching:

异人之下 i am nobody (2023) [thanks susu for the rec lmao]

莲花楼 mysterious lotus casebook (2023) [rewatch for subbing]

你好星期六 hello saturday [my comfort 综艺节目 <3 very behind on this though]

the matrix [i forgot which version i downloaded]

to be watched: [for my own tracking purposes too lol]

说英雄谁是英雄 heroes (2022)

少年歌行 the blood of youth (2022)

琉璃 love and redemption (2020)

长月烬明 till the end of the moon (2022)

關於我和鬼變成家人的那件事 marry my dead body (2023)

苍兰诀 love between fairy and devil (2022) [hate that title. anyway i dropped this but maybe i’ll pick it back up. who knows]

lupin (2021-) [i need to actually start practising my french for class]

currently reading: [oh god here we go. if you tried to guess which of these i’m reading for class you would probably be dead wrong lmao]

various short stories by ted chiang but currently on “story of your life,” “the truth of fact, the truth of feeling,” and “the lifecycle of software objects”

hexwood by diana wynne jones

a memory called empire by arkady martine

bēowulf tr. maria dahvana headley

eros the bittersweet by anne carson [this has been on hold for so long lmfao]

huis clos by jean-paul sartre [also on hold for almost as long]

他们都说我遇到了未知生物 they all say i met an unknown lifeform by 青色羽翼 [i may have put this on hold]

魔道祖师 mdzs by 墨香铜臭 [this was also put on hold]

天涯客 tyk by priest [on hold. yes again]

multiple academic articles, but the ones i’m most interested in currently are “be of knightly countenance”: masculine violence and managing affect in late medieval alliterative poetry and batman: under the red hood and ‘subtitling’s a carnival’: new practices in cyberspace

a whole bunch of lhl fics (mostly in chinese)

currently listening to: [added because i wanted a space for my audio dramas]

魔道祖师第二季 the second season of mdzs [on hold]

天官赐福第一季 the first season of tgcf [陈张太康老师.............. you have my entire heart and i haven’t even heard you as hua cheng yet]

师弟还不杀我灭口 my shidi still hasn’t killed/permanently silenced me [also put on hold........ you may be noticing a certain pattern here]

currently working on:

莲花楼 mysterious lotus casebook fansub and assorted translations related to that

lots of academic things because i’m very behind oh god [thank you procrastination]

perhaps...... a difang 清明节/tomb-sweeping fic 👀 we’ll see

current obsession: do i even need to say it. translation + 莲花楼 mysterious lotus casebook

tagging @bat1lau4can4 and anyone else who wants to join! i’m not sure who’s not done it yet lol

#i would’ve added a tbr section but then this post would’ve gone on forever #rui rambles

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danhoemei · 2 years

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9 books I intend to read in 2022

Tagged by @verycharismaticdragon thanks 💚

It’s already almost march so I guess I could list what I already finished ;d

1. Qi Ye (Lord Seventh) by Priest - ah the infamous prequel to TYK. I initially wanted to read it only to get to know Zhou Zishu’s past, but the more glimpses of Jing Beiyuan and Wu Xi I’ve seen in the fandom, the more I wanted to read it just for them. And oh boy did I enjoy. It wasn’t the easiest to read though, ngl. So Many Politics. And scheming. I love jby so much, what a mood. Anyway, I’m happy I read this novel for multiple reasons. And now I’m writing a xiyuan fic :’) help

Now, what’s on the list to go:

2. Reread Tian Ya Ke (Faraway Wanderers) by Priest - I planned to reread it for a long while, once I finish Qi Ye (I’ll do so after being done with that xiyuan fic). I’m so excited for it, to see the wenzhou disaster pair in a new light and catch all the details which I missed during my first read. But my other goal is to refresh the image of TYK characters before going back to my wenzhou fics and continuing a few WIPs which have been rotting in my folder :’)

3. Liu Yao: The Revitalization of Fuyao Sect by Priest - I’ve seen so much art and it looks incredibly fun, I simply cannot resist.

4. Zhen Hun (Guardian) by Priest - I want to get to know it, after seeing it around in the fandom. Quite a few things ticked off the checklist of my tastes 👀

5. Qian Qiu (Thousand Autumns) by Meng Xi Shi - I don’t know if I need to say why it’s here. Just good stuff.

6. Of all the Transmigrations, why am I a Prisoner? by 1111 - I’ve seen nice art from nightjar-draws and ohohsomething which coax me 👀

7. The Magnus Archives - not really a book as it’s a podcast, but I will probably follow a transcript and it’s only words, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ It’s been haunting me since I got pulled into wwdits and then made that one fatal post which blew up in TMA tumblr fandom. So I’m thinking of giving it a try out sometime this year, maybe when I need a change from danmei works.

8. A volume of poetry - still haven’t decided which one, I have a few at home which I read years ago or haven’t touched at all. I recently realised that although I’ve been writing stuff which could be considered poetry, I haven’t really Read (with Thoughts and some Analysis) any poetry since I finished school. So I wanna try reconnecting with that. Candidates from my shelves are: Wisława Szymborska, Leopold Staff, Czesław Miłosz.

9. Leaving space for whatever I’ll need to consume for the master’s thesis, most likely stuff on biometrics and maybe neural networks :’)

-----

Just wanna say, "intend [to read]" is a big word here, because that's quite a few titles, while I'm not only busy but also take long breaks between the series whenever I get inspired enough to produce some writing (that's exactly what happened after TYK last year and what's happening now after Qi Ye). So yeah, just listed a few titles high on my list, but not sure how many I'll manage to read. Still, excited for each if them!

Ayy dunno if you already did it or feel like doing it, free to ignore as always, @ashenwren @ohohsomething @nightjar-draws @cytharat @antique-forvalaka @theyilinglaozus @hedonistbyheart @domidoom @myshadowlovesfire @still-gathering-roses @miyakuli @a-very-fond-farewell

#tag game #verycharismaticdragon #thank you for the tag again 💚#that's a very fun one #dan read list #dan log

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baxiawielder · 2 years

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hi, my name's juri! I'm not new to tumblr though this is my first time using it to be part of a community so I'm pretty unfamiliar with a lot of things right now 😅😅

I've read and watched both mdzs and cql and I adore them both equally. I've also read svsss, tgcf, and I'm halfway through tyk and 2ha. I read fgep as well. I'd appreciate some recommendations!

I'm also a fic writer! I have TONS of wips in my docs but school is making it a little difficult to write, though I'm hoping I could write something again soon 🙏🙏

additionally, I would really appreciate it if bjyx shippers (or any cpf in general) and people who ship incest/pedophilia not follow or interact. I personally won't go out of my way to start anything unprovoked, I just want to set some boundaries for my own comfort.

let's be friends!

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #chen qing ling #cql #wangxian #wwx #lwj #wei wuxian #lan wangji #tgcf #svsss #moots #let's be mutuals #pls

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the-music-maniac · 3 years

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You ever notice how similar Xie Wang and Han Ying’s stories and character arcs are?

A warning here that this contains spoilers for all of Word of Honor/Shan He Ling. Stop reading now, I reference a ton of shit.

I was actually discussing a couple fic ideas with a friend a few weeks ago, and I got to wondering after thinking about those parallels I could see -

Does Han Ying x Xie Wang exist as a ship?? Is that a thing?? That exists?? Can it please exist??

It has so much potential. There's so many narrative parallels with these two characters.

They're two people who deserved better than their respective endings, who never got what they wanted, because of the manipulation of men who wanted power and would stop at nothing to get it (Jin Wang and Zhao Jing). The manipulation of those who saw them as less then what they were.

They also have similarities in their relationships with their "mentor figures" - Han Ying and Zhou Zishu, and Xie Wang and Zhao Jing. They have quite a lot of differences too, enough that their lives parallel each other instead of mirror, and I just think that their personal experiences could make for a very compelling storyline if these two were to interact. It would be an interesting road to a development of a potential relationship, and moreover an opportunity for both of them to learn from the other and heal.

And real talk? I just want the both of them to be happy tbh (and of course that obviously doesn't need to involve a romantic relationship - I just have no self control. I'd be just as ecstatic about a really good friendship though).

I also know they never interact in the drama - but then again these two are also literally dead in the drama. Reality is what you make it 🤣🤣. And considering how close the Scorpion was working with Tian Chuang - honestly I'm pretty sure you can't really say they haven't met either.

So anyways, I guess reasons why I think this would be a good ship dynamic:

First of all, their relations with their mentors and how it's similar to each other and also not. The resulting potential for mutual support:

Han Ying's dearest wish is to be a disciple of Zhou Zishu's, as he says plainly in that one episode.

The thing is, there could be quite a lot of subtext taken from that - I've read interpretations that he's in love with Zhou Zishu, or at least has romantic feelings for him - a strong crush possibly - which I can plausibly see (I can also see it just being platonic, which I will talk about later). But yeah, a romantic interpretation just because of how strong his devotion towards Zhou Zishu is. The wistful looks?????

In that kind of situation, IF the romantic feelings are two-sided instead of one-sided - which I would like to go on the record and say that with Han Ying and Zhou Zishu, I don't believe it is - and as a result actually becomes something, that type of relationship would not be the most healthy, because there's a very strong imbalance of power. Even if the mentor figure genuinely cares and actively minds the mentee's feelings - the mentee still undeniably has that level of hero worship - it won't ever be equal. We can see that already in Han Ying's case, Zhou Zishu repeatedly tells him to stop treating him with so much formality because he's not the leader anymore and yet Han Ying still remains deferential.

In that interpretation, if that were the case of it being two sided - Han Ying would have quite a lot of similarity of experience to Xie Wang's relation to Zhao Jing -

And here I can talk about how Xie Wang and Zhao Jing's relationship is uh. Kinda sus tbh. Like. That doesn't look like a healthy or platonic father-son relationship and it gives me the creeps. In Xie Wang and Zhao Jing's relationship, I'm more inclined to believe there's some semi-incestous yifu fucking going on than anything platonic, there's just so many sus moments - and if I'm not mistaken they dubbed over a line in the show where it was basically stated plainly that it's not a platonic relationship. Or at least - Xie Wang doesn't view Zhao Jing platonically (and I don't believe Zhao Jing discourages it at all, if anything he actively encourages and guides it to make Xie Wang dependent on him). So we got another setup where it's potentially one sided romantic feelings/hero worship. Or maybe two sided for them, who knows.

But the thing is, while I talked about unhealthy romantic relationships in my section about Han Ying, a fundamental difference between Xie Wang and Han Ying's relationships with their mentors is that Zhou Zishu's relationship with Han Ying would be a lot healthier. A LOT healthier. So much fucking healthier, I cannot emphasis that enough. And that's mostly because their relationship is not two-sided, and because he sees Han Ying as a person.

He cares about Han Ying a lot but not as anything beyond platonic - he views him as a student and a subordinate and protects him as such. Han Ying on the other hand could have romantic feelings for Zhou Zishu. Not in love per se, it feels to me like it could be a mix of a really strong crush with really strong hero worship. I don't think Han Ying truly knows Zhou Zishu's other aspects of personality (yet?? I guess because if we're gonna hypothetically bring both Han Ying and Xie Wang back to life he probably will eventually get to know Zhou Zishu properly), because I doubt he ever showed anything beyond his stern assassin leader type of persona to his subordinates. He was likely caring yes, but in a way that keeps people at a distance. So, a mentor-mentee type of relationship where Han Ying could be crushing quite hard on Zhou Zishu. But still a healthy one, as Zhou Zishu, one - doesn't intend to pursue a romantic relationship with Han Ying - and moreover, although might know about his feelings, or his devotion at least(tbh you'd have to be blind not to), he treats them, and him, with respect. He doesn't try and manipulate Han Ying, or use his emotions for his own purposes. He sees Han Ying as his own person. His affection and regards towards Han Ying remains unconditional, even if Han Ying messes up or doesn't follow instructions. Instructions that, btw, repeatedly try to keep Han Ying out of the line of fire, and makes it clear that Han Ying is to put himself first.

Everything Zhao Jing does however is solely to cripple Xie Wang and make him wholly dependent on him. He's been grooming Xie Wang from such a young age, and his positive regard and care is ALWAYS conditional. As soon as Xie Wang messes up, he takes it away as punishment, and because of how Zhao Jing's made himself the center of Xie Wang's world, that action is devastating to him. He subtly encourages and toys with Xie Wang's regard for him for his own purposes, he tries to make Xie Wang jealous so he works twice as hard to earn back Zhao Jing's attention. And as we see with his intention to eventually discard Xie Wang as soon as he is no longer useful - he doesn't view Xie Wang as a person. He's merely another tool in his arsenal.

The reason why I wrote such a long ass analysis about the similarities and differences between Xie Wang and Han Ying's relationships is because as I mentioned before, one reason I think this would be a pretty interesting ship and dynamic is how these two could help each other. At first, it might be more Han Ying helping Xie Wang.

Xie Wang hasn't ever experienced what a proper and healthy guardian type relationship is like, or even what it means for someone to choose him first. He's a victim of abuse, and should he manage to survive the avalanche at the end of the show, there is potential for him to start to undo all the damage that Zhao Jing has inflicted on him all those years, especially if the man is truly no longer around. And I think Han Ying would be in a very good position to offer him support in that journey. Moreover, if Han Ying has had an experience similar to that, it could be the reason he would want to offer support to Xie Wang. He's experienced a lot of what Xie Wang has experienced, but he's also seen what it is for someone to genuinely care about him, and as a result likely has a more healthy view on that type of relationship. They're similar enough for Xie Wang to potentially not want to push Han Ying away if he ever offers his help, but also dissimilar enough that Han Ying could offer new avenues of thought.

At the same time, if you just read Han Ying and Zhou Zishu's relationship as a really strong type of hero worship, this dynamic could make sense too. Han Ying clearly looks up to Zhou Zishu quite a lot, and on top of that, Zhou Zishu in a way represents everything Han Ying has wanted and couldn't have - aka a family and a mentor figure and a home to call his own. Regardless of if it's purely platonic or not, it's still an infinitely healthier relationship, a parallel to Xie Wang's experience, so the potential of the offer of support remains the same.

Second of all, similarity in origin and life experiences, which is a small thing tbh but still an important thing:

Han Ying is someone I don't know a lot of background on tbh - I presume he doesn't have a family anymore, and somehow ended up in the Window of Heaven. I've read fics where Zhou Zishu was the one to save him at some point and offer him a position in the assassin group, and I'm inclined to take that as a plausible head canon (unless it's actually canon, idk I haven't read tyk yet).

So, in bare bones, he's an orphan who is taken in by a mentor figure, and becomes a high ranking member of an assassin group.

Xie Wang is also someone who no longer has a family - we don't know that much about his background either, but I presume he was happened upon by Zhao Jing in some way - I'm not sure at what age tbh, is it assumed that he was raised by him?? Or maybe in teenage years??

Whatever it happens to be, Xie Wang was taken in, maybe even "saved" by (although if you ask me, he'd be better off without) Zhao Jing.

So in essence it is the same thing as Han Ying's experiences, an orphan who is taken in by a mentor figure, and becomes a high ranking (or the leader of) an assassin group.

And not only that, as I mentioned from the beginning, these two both realize and know, eventually, that they’re being used by men who are desperate for power (Jin Wang, Zhao Jing).

I mention this actually as just an extension of my first point, because while I mentioned that Han Ying very obviously can support Xie Wang in that particular “past grooming and abuse” aspect, there are probably still many hidden traumas and scars for these two from the lives they’ve both lead. Their similar experiences lead to similar choices which helped shape who they are, and as a result, I think these two could truly understand each other and where they’re coming from.

Their personalities would fit pretty well with each other. I think:

I don’t know if my interpretation on how these two are is accurate tbh, so feel free to let me know if you think it’s out of character.

To me, Han Ying seems like someone who would be pretty calm around the people he cares about; responsible, smart, eager to learn, with a steady sort of presence. He seems like someone who would wear their heart on their sleeve around people he trusts too, but not in any overtly obvious way. I think the reason why I get that impression is that, upon rewatch, I could plainly see his worry about Zhou Zishu in episode one, but when I first started the show, I somehow missed it entirely. Han Ying also didn’t show any qualms about admitting to Chengling that he wants to be Zhou Zishu’s disciple - which can be a very personal piece of info. The way he was around Zhou Zishu, and Wen Kexing also gave off an air of innocent eagerness to do well in his accomplishments and for approval. I’m not saying he’s always like this, because I’m rather certain he has a darker side too - as we see with all the characters, no one is without their traumas and no one is without artifice or without complexity. They’re all grey moral in a very human way, and Han Ying is no different. We’ve seen before too that once he’s got his game face on, the man is pretty competent and also ruthless (his conversation with Gao Chong for example) - I don’t think he could be any less if he’s that high up in the Tianchuang hierarchy. But at the same time I can also see him being a bit of a very subtle disaster (almost?? Slightly dorky??) in certain situations, and we can see that kind of peek through when Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing hijacked his kidnapping attempt and he was kind of like uhh. Okay so, I’m in a choke hold, I think that might be my former commander, so like. Let them go. It’s actually really funny cause while Wen Kexing was telling Gao Chong and Chengling to hurry up and leave, I swear you could see Han Ying contemplating his entire life.

The face of a man confuzzled.

Xie Wang on the other hand, is someone that’s more impulsive, liable to push or be mischievous, less of a steady personality and more like - for lack of better word - an absolute gremlin. A pretty murderous one. It’s a bit hard to tell all aspects of how Xie Wang is tbh, since he has many different mannerisms while talking to different people. With Zhao Jing he has a very subservient, almost dutiful, childlike and innocent air about him, and a sort of. Sa jiao (撒娇) type of demeanor. He craves approval from Zhao Jing, and is just generally very baby around him, and I’m really not sure how much of that is how he actually is and how much of that is him learning that this is the best way to get Zhao Jing’s attention. And tbh I don’t think all of that is grooming, I think Xie Wang probably does have the potential to be as soft or as innocently childlike and happy with others he cares about (just hopefully in a lot healthier way). I think we see his soft side a little with Qianqiao when he gives her the cure. Despite that though, we can still see other aspects of him surface. He makes suggestions and pushes when he thinks Zhao Jing’s refusals are unreasonable, he just goes and does his own thing sometimes (um usually murderous things. Like when he killed Song Huai Ren and told Zhao Jing he’s a traitor). He’s mischievous about some of his actions (after literally stabbing a man, ‘what? he said I should kill him if I have the ability’). He’s a lot more obviously gritty and aggressive and morally grey than Han Ying appears, which I think adds dimension to his character when added in with everything else. He’s also very smart, competent, ruthless - obviously since he runs the Scorpion, but he’s surprisingly fair and almost? Honourable? In certain aspects? And like Han Ying, he does somewhat wear his heart on his sleeve, retains that eagerness to do well and is somehow not as jaded as he could be, as he still finds the capacity to eventually care for a stranger (Liu Qianqiao).

I may be oversimplifying how these two could be, but with their personality types I think they have a lot of potential both in a romantic relationship or as close friends. And in a way that at first glance would probably be puzzling - how in the hell did these two become friends/get together (lmao you’ll see Han Ying in his rather sensible disciple robes and then Xie Wang is just there in his braids, dramatic black outfits, winged eyeliner, etc. 🤣🤣😅😅) but on closer thought, makes sense. Han Ying could be a more steadying presence for Xie Wang, and Xie Wang in turn could help him loosen up a bit more. (That’s kind of oversimplifying it but it’s 5 am where I am rn and I’m too tired to elaborate) I also believe Xie Wang might push Han Ying to be more ambitious, be able to do things for himself more - because Xie Wang went through a process of, everything I do is for someone else, until I realized they were using me, and now I’m going to do it for myself. In that way they could potentially push each other to higher heights in what they do, and they are pretty similar in ideology and morals and previous actions. They both have blood on their hands, and they’re not afraid to be ruthless or do what’s necessary to get the job done. They have their traumas, their complexities and an understanding of what it’s like to put on masks for different people.

The potential for found family. All the found family. Gimme:

This one I feel like is more obvious and changes some things about canon, but the timeline I imagine for if Xie Wang x Han Ying would be a plausible ship is one where Han Ying survives the stealing of the fake glazed armour incident and becomes one of the disciples of Siji (second disciple of the sixth generation????). Everything else would likely proceed in a very similar way (although in this au in my mind Gu Xiang and Cao Weining are alive). And then during the avalanche incident, with WenZhou trapped in the armoury, Xie Wang ends up surviving and they end up finding him somehow.

Whether or not it’d be out of character for WenZhou to save him I think could be explored, but the bottom line is that eventually they would probably take him back to Siji. There, whether him meeting Han Ying goes smoothly or not is up to interpretation - I very much doubt it would be an amiable meeting tbh - in fact I fully imagine it to be antagonistic af at first, considering what opposing groups they used to be a part of and the knowledge of how deadly the other can be - trust would be hard to come by, which makes a slow development all the more interesting. And moreover them becoming friends or dating would likely help Xie Wang into the dynamic at Siji because now there’s a more tangible connection between him and the place, and I can see while he’s getting to know all the people of Siji, eventually thinking of them as family as well. And Han Ying in turn gets another person who cares about him, and for him to care about.

I’ll be honest here and say that I don’t particularly care at this point how realistic or in character it all would be - I need found family in my life I have no self control. Xie Wang and Han Ying my beloveds needs all the good things.

Another possible meeting is just Han Ying being sent to negotiate with the Scorpions instead of Duan Pengju (is that how it went? I’ll admit I’m a little fuzzy on plot points here) and meeting each other that way. There could be moments of understanding while working together, an inevitable kinda separation, and eventually seeing each other again at Siji, after all the shitshow is over. The development could continue from there.

The closer age gap:

I’d like to preface this part with a disclaimer that I’m not trying to bash any other ships that are out there, this is actually just entirely my personal preference.

I don’t really like big age gaps in my ships unless their both established adults - for example in their 30's 40's, even 50's. Even if one of them remains young in body, it’s just not a dynamic I generally like. The most popular ship that comes to mind here is Ye Baiyi x Xie Wang - and all the more power to you if you do ship it tbh, I can see it being really adorable and healing for the both of them, especially since Ye Baiyi never really gets a happy ending either (and he absolutely deserves one 😤😤😤) - but that as a ship dynamic is personally not for me, especially after Xie Wang’s kinda hinted relationship with another man that’s also older than him. Ye Baiyi obviously is ten million times the man Zhao Jing could ever be, and it would be an infinitely healthier relationship anyway, but yeah the age gap thing is just my personal bias.

So I don’t know, I appreciate that Han Ying and Xie Wang are both closer in age to each other. I know there aren’t confirmed ages (I think?) but if I had to take a guess, I’d say I think both of them are probably in their early to mid twenties.

Anyways, it’s literally 5:43 am now where I am, so I think I’m gonna end this way too long post and pass out. Honestly, I’m not even sure if this thing is coherent anymore, I’m half delirious with exhaustion while writing this. I might possibly write a fic or do something about this Xie Wang x Han Ying ship, I might not, but I just wanted to get it out there. It’s a cute idea.

Oh god my eyeballs are burning. Cheers, goodnight.

#word of honor #xie wang x han ying #han ying x xie wang #Han Ying #Xie Wang #Shan he ling #I mentioned WenZhou #so I suppose I should put them in?#CaoXiang #Four Seasons Manor #Zhou Zishu #Wen Kexing #Jin Wang #Zhao Jing #liu qianqiao #word of honor spoilers #spoilers

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specialability · 2 years

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writing update

Dilemma: simultaneously incapable of sitting on something that is finished and wanting to space out updates of The Yellow Flower. So that when it does take me longer to post an update, as is inevitable, it isn't such a jarring experience.

So I put Chapter 2 up as a draft before doing a final go-through and Chapter 3 is in editing. Chapter 4 is where it starts getting tricky because it's an important scene, characterization-wise, and I keep second-guessing it. Chapter 5 has a large gap between where chp 4 ends and where what's already written starts. Basically new stuff needs to be written so we can get to the Chapter 6 finale, which is also done but needs editing.

There's stuff also written as a sort of epilogue but might turn into a separate drabble series of its own, we'll see how it goes. Kinda like the book extra chapters. There's at least one thing written approaching proper oneshot fic length (2k+ words).

I don't actually plan to go all the way into TYK timeline even in the extras because I quite frankly haven't thought that far ahead. It requires keeping track of a lot more moving pieces as small changes ripple out and, as I have said before, I don't actually like writing plot.

So the main thing on the to do list is finish editing Chapter 3 and actually commit to certain decisions in Chapter 5. Let's hope the writing brain stays turned back on for long enough to make it happen.

#misc #ruth writes fanfic

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orchisailsa · 3 years

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About the Blogger

Ah!! Thank you for thinking of me, @danhoemei!! 🥰❤️

Rules: Tag nine people you want to get to know better.

Favourite colour: Look, I’m not even in a monogamous marriage, I can’t be expected to choose OnE FAVORITE COLOR. But I am very partial to various shades of green and warm, earthy colors like rust and ochre tones.

Currently reading: I’m in the middle of a re-read of Qi Ye, since I devoured it so fast the first time that I didn’t really absorb a lot of the details (especially the politics). I’m also reading The Three Body Problem by Liu Cixin, which is one of the most intense sci-fi books I’ve picked up in YEARS. Next in line is the final volume of Neil Gaiman’s Sandman (which I’m excited to finish reading before the new show comes out)!

Last song: Spotify tells me it was the Fiona Apple cover of “Across the Universe,” which is on brand.

Last movie: The Nightmare Before Christmas (’tis the season!) Last new movie, tho? Absolutely no idea. Maybe Luca with my kiddo? I have tickets to see Dune this week, tho, and I’m SUPER STOKED.

Sweet, Savoury, or Spicy: All of the above, in moderation! (Bonus points for my favorite Thai food dishes that manage to do all three at once.) I’m a huge foodie, and I love to cook and dine out in equal measure. Sweet, spicy, savory, umami, briney, creamy, acidic, crunchy, salty, smoky... bring it on.

Currently working on: My fics? I’ve got 3 active WIP’s at the moment...

Irresistible Force Paradox: A canon-compliant look into ZZS’s head during the events of Word of Honor. This is a massive undertaking that’s intended to span most of the series and I’m trying to keep updating semi-regularly while not burning myself out.

Carpe Diem: Second in a series that takes place post-canon wherein Jing Beiyuan and Wu Xi go to spend some time up on the mountain with their newly immortal friends. (Takes place in the SHL-verse but references Qi Ye and is inspired by one of the TYK extras.)

Untitled (for the moment) HanWenZhou modern AU because some of the existing content out there for this OT3 is so good it makes me want to cry, but there isn’t ENOUGH OF IT, so I can’t resist the siren lure to write my own.

(I’ve also got some messy notes on a funny one-shot from the POV of Wu Xi’s sable and an epilogue/denouement chapter for a fic I thought was complete, but those are still in their infancy. 😌)

Tagging: @bladedweaponsandswishycoats, @luincalen, @hyraeth, @shards-of-divinity, @cinnamonrollwwx, @nguyenxtrang, @fetchmeagiraffe, @tinylilemrys (no pressure at all, of course!)

#memes #mine #about the blogger #getting to know youuuuuu gettting to know alllll abouuuuttttt youuuuuuuu

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sixteenthshen · 3 years

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Sorry for disturbing.

I want to ask whether the copies that were posted on someone's weibo claiming that the physical copy comes with extra chapters with more sex scenes? Is it real? I haven't seen them myself yet but I've heard they sound like an Ao3 fanfic. Do they really come with the physical copy or is it just a rumor?

Thankyou in advance

No worries :) you’re not.

I can’t say for sure if it’s original or not, to be honest. it comes in a physical PIRATED copy, that’s important to note. next, the AO3 comment on that Weibo post isn’t accurate. It just seems like a person disagreeing and using a point that’s hard to prove because AO3 is blocked. I’ve read every single TYK fic in AO3 when the drama was launched i was (so thirsty for fic! so I have a fresh memory regarding the actual TYK fics (novel, not drama fans tagging everything under the sun) and I also checked AO3 after the comment.

very long answer, hiding behind a cut so people who aren’t interested don’t get a wall of text.

I’ve also read TYK porn on AO3 when I first finished the novel. It’s basically my go-to habit? Finish reading a Priest novel, go on AO3 to look for fan-written missing sex scenes to fill in the gaps. This wasn’t as recent (last year) but I’m fairly sure I did not read these fic before either. This isn’t to say that it can’t be fic of course, just that I didn’t find it on AO3.

Next, TYK is actually one of Priest’s earlier novels and it was never really that popular. so there were never that many editions printed (TW and CN once each if I recall correctly). This version is definitely pirated, but it doesn’t mean everything in it is fake. The thing is, because TYK was never really very popular, there aren’t many hardcore fans who can remember stuff from that long ago.

One thing about Priest is that she posts her novel extras across many places. So for e.g. the printed novels have extra chapters that’s not on JJWXC. She also has a lofter account with some chapters of SPL (not in the English fan translation), and sometimes it goes on Weibo. AND she usually offers something new in her printed novels. The ones on JJWXC and in print aren’t free, while those on Lofter/Weibo are.

Why does that matter? Because something that is censored on JJWXC would show up as “locked” but on Weibo etc, we wouldn’t know if there was something there at some point.

In my “research”, I’ve found all but 1 missing bonus chapter for TYK, and the ones I found are not the same as in the pirated novel.

Her style of writing has changed over the years (this novel is 10 years or 11 years old now). She writes a lot less sexy bits these days and she’s never even written a lot to begin with (but she used to write a little more than she does now). But she always avoids writing actual sex (of any kind). The stuff I shared from OP’s Weibo is on the smuttier(st) end of her range (imo), but still not explicit. While it’s quite extreme by Priest’s standards, I still found it within the realm of possibility.

CN fans (actually maybe all fans) always joke that they always get the gong/shou wrong for Priest novels, but actually Priest has a type that’s true about 99% of the time.

Although Priest is one of the most balanced danmei authors (in terms of CP dynamics) out there, she’s still a Chinese writer. I’ve read her het romance (Bandits) as well, and her CP dynamics are exactly the same between het and slash (female being the shou).

The gong is always, always the possessive or jealous type (it’s just whether it’s the cute kind - Lu Bixing or the slightly creepy kind Chang Geng). The shou isn’t the type to actually get jealous seriously (because they know the gong loves them, they may allude to being jealous in a fun, teasing way). The shou is always very “strong” (physical prowess, but also mentally obvs). With the exception of TYK (arguably Can Ci Pin in the middle), the shou/female is more powerful (martial arts, or whatever) than the gong/male. there’s more but i’ll just stop here on this point.

The main thing is that the characterisation in those bonus chapters are fairly on point as to how Priest likes her couples.

tl:dr; it can’t be proven definitively either way unless someone hassles Priest to ask.

I’ve asked some CN friends who are somewhat-Priest fans on this as well, they basically just echoed that there are more chapters in Priest’s printed novels. They don’t really know or care too much though. The overall sentiment is: “if you like it, take it for real” and “if you don’t like it, then don’t believe it then”. So that’s all the advice I can give as well :)

#word of honor asks #tian ya ke #i did not check my grammar #like half my post is capitalised #the other is not #imo priest likes to have a very strong lead who basically bottoms #exclusively #the character's gender doesn't matter #but she is still very traditional #like most danmei authors #zhou fei from bandits is a tomboy #aside from gender she has more masculine traits than xie yun #it's the same for all of Priest's stuff

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rigelmejo · 2 years

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Ok so I read 2 chapters of tyk today, 1 yesterday, in Idiom app. Since I got the free version again, a decent number of idioms definitions are not good sjsjjd (pleco would be better but I'm too lazy to switch)

So like. I have been clicking words for definitions but also guessing a lot since about half the definitions are unusable. And just trying to read as fast as I can.

The upside? Retained my grammar and sentence phrasing kind of saying familiarity so only forgotten and unknown words are slowing me down. Also reading speed is way faster than last time I read over a year ago, along with comprehension much higher.

I looked up like 90 words? Out of I'm guessing like 1000ish words? So my comprehension is idk I'm gonna roughly guess 91% with my current rusty memory for the chinese I've studied. If I guessed the words that look familiar it's probably closer to 95% (but less certain in my interpretation) which is what my zhenhun comprehension was last time I measured it back in July 2021... so actually... assuming priest novels are similar difficulty (tho i do think tyk is easier so I probably lost a little skill level) I didn't lose too much of my reading skill over the Fall of not studying.

It is Painfully apparent I lost my listening skills though. Maybe I have a visual memory? Recognizing the hanzi enough to guess new words like variations on excited, nervous, hasty, jolted, shocked, stared, sized up, glared, confused, shook, stretched, picked up, took away etc are super easy cause I remember at least one of the hanzi in the words and likely did learn these words before since I can guess them while skimming so they Look familiar. But I looked a LOT up anyway when reading cause I forgot part of their pronunciation...

Just went to glance at the hanshe pingxie fic and yep... word recognition on sight still seems mostly retained, but I have to look up a lot of words to remember their specific pronunciation. Mm..

Anyway what all this means?

Well 1. It means if i wanted to go through tian ya ke or qi ye English then Chinese chapters, should be very doable. Even if I dont look up words (that just means I won't have the pronunciation support). So it basically depends on if i can tolerate not being certain about word pronunciations when reading ahh...

2. Probably also means i could go back to the zhenhun print novel again and pick up where i left off skill wise (except I'll not recognize all the pronunciations I used to). So... reading skill should come back if i just get into reading again a bit. Which is good news.

3. I probably need to actually purposefully build up listening skills again like I did last summer ahh ToT so L R method again or audiobook with subs. To connect sound to words again. Audio flashcards too obviously for just general listening comprehension improvement - but i think the biggest loss is I forgot the sound of some words I know, and to get that back i need to see audio matched to the words I know. I will probably wait to do that until when I've got more energy in a few months maybe.

Update: just played audio for hanshe while following along AND. That'll work if I wanna get my listening comprehension back! I could follow along fine, so that should work if I do that with anything I've read before - just listen to it again while reading it. (I listened in Idiom but in future I should probably listen in pleco cause it works better that way, but either works. Also any audiobook file I find with Chinese subs like the tian ya ke one should be fine). So yeah I do not need to put in super effort and look words up while doing that - just listening while following along will work enough. I presume also listening again later with or without text more will reinforce it, but overall probably Just hearing the words again and being forced to process them ASAP then move on will probably jog my memory Enough eventually.

#progress #february #february progress #happy my reading speed has not TANKEF #it definitely slowed a little. but its still noticeably faster than whrn i was a beginner #and i can still speed thru some paragraphs. so i think the loss of speed is just being rusty wirh some words

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petekaos · 3 years

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2020 creator wrap + a follow forever

rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

hiii hello everyone! sorry it’s taken me so long to get on this BUT it’s all for good reason! i thought i would combine this post into me sharing some of the works i am most proud of this year as well as spreading more love in this wonderful little community because i truly love you all tons and being a part of such a lovely group of people has made me beyond happy this year. it’s been a difficult year for all of us and i’m just so glad that i can give back the love and care y’all can give to me 💛

onward to spreading love to people who tagged me, in no particular order! thank you all for tagging me, it means so much and know that i have read through your posts at least twice with a smile on my face.

@wjmild: kylie!! you constantly surprise me with how kind and insightful you are, as well as your dedication to watching absolutely every show with lee thanat in it. you are so smart and educated and every time you talk about your research and your studies i can’t help but feel so incredibly proud of you. i really hope life brings you the peace and fulfillment you deserve. i love you!

@gigiesarocha: cata - it is always such a pleasure to see you on my dash. i can rely on you losing your shit over ingredients every two weeks and every time i see jeff doing things it 100% reminds me of you! you possess such a kind soul and i’m so glad to have had the pleasure of following you this year :’)

@yihwas: sometimes i still can’t believe you know who i am and that we’re grouped together, soph! your blog is such a refuge to me, i adore scrolling through your replies and laughing at all the witty things you say. you are simply so kind and thoughtful in your responses and criticism and you have such talent in gifmaking! i am forever grateful to you for introducing me to new lakorns and to you and shannon for creating @lakornladies.

@morksuns: sumaya! my url twin! i absolutely love seeing you on the dash, it really is that trans desi solidarity, no? your moodboards are always so aesthetic and your blog is so soft and calm. i see you sending such lovely asks to people, including myself, and i truly admire your personality so much!

@gayvlad: nico, my sibling! i love you so much and seeing you on the dash always makes me smile. sometimes you’re too hard on yourself, but that’s okay, because i’m always here for you. i loved your reactions to dbk in live time, and that you’re now as attached to the show as i am. we love a lot of the same things, and i’ll forever be grateful to you for indulging my headcanons and developing them with me, like the ram and bohn friendship. the ram fic of him finding the gym as a home was developed through much of your influence, and i’ll never stop being astonished at how kind and supportive you are. i love you!

@khaotungthanawat: saaaam! your gifs are always a beauty to behold. i admire you so much for making those bl compilation gifsets because that takes so much patience and dedication, especially to find all the moments. i can always count on you for underrated gifsets, too, and i smile every time you send me an ask!

@tanwirapong: roa! oh i adored getting to know you better this year through the gifted gays gc. i remember still when you made a post about there’s an art to honesty and it truly made my day - i sent it to my partner and best friend and they were so fond as well! i will always be so happy about the fact that we both lose it over petekao every now and again, it means the world to me :’)

@emisfritish: your wisdom and way of expressing your thoughts will never fail to amaze me, emma. i can always count on you for calling things like they are and writing out well-worded, thought-provoking posts that express everything i have ever thought about fandom but could never quite write down. it’s such a pleasure seeing you on my dash and honestly, whenever i see tay, he reminds me of you!

so that was everyone who tagged me, for which i am eternally grateful! (if i missed anyone... i am so sorry ily...) now onto me rambling about how much i love specific people in the fandom generally that i haven’t already mentioned.

@earthfluuke: maddie... where do i even start. getting to know you this year means the absolute world to me and i love how many thoughts we can share together and how many aus and ideas we can plot out to the finest detail, but i also love how we can talk about serious topics and irl issues affecting us both and know that the other person will be there. i admire you so much for going on and persevering despite the many difficult factors in your life right now. know that i will always be there - to listen to you, to support your gifs and fics, to develop characters with you, to weigh in on problems or ideas you have. i love you!

@asianmelodrama: faiza!! i can never address you without immediately adding ‘jaan’ after it honestly. you are a sister to me in all things and knowing you has been such an honour. your wise words, your calmness in dealing with things, your infectious excitement - they are all facets of your personality that i both admire and adore. whether it’s getting angry about shitty muslim rep or freaking out about a movie, i know that i can always count on you to be there for me if i ever need it. i hope light and love touches your life always, and you find peace in everything you do. if i ever happen to be in england, i am definitely coming over for your chai :’) i love you!

@yioh: yura my laddoo! i say this all the time, but i simply am so grateful that we met. i love seeing your tags on my posts and i just... adore seeing you doing your thing on your blog, your posts always make me smile. i know school is hard right now, but know that i’m always rooting for you and believe in you completely. words cannot express how happy i am to have found another tamil lgbt person who can understand the same experiences, it really does mean everything to me. and know that i will begin reading tyk soon, i promise, and i’ll tell you all about my thoughts! i love youuu!

@1akorn: shannon!! i still cannot believe people group us together because i’ve always admired you from a distance - imagine my absolute surprise when i found out that you followed me! i 100% rely on you for the good mek content and love your gifs so much. you’re so articulate and speak your thoughts incredibly well, which i truly admire.

@brightwin: jelly - you already know the amount of love and fondness i hold for you. you’re such a kind and bubbly person and your personality shines not only through your tags and responses to people, but also through your gorgeous gifsets that are just so warm and lovely. i can always rely on you to give me updates on all things related to brightwin and 2gether. you’re wonderful!

@yibobibo: aamna! i know i can always get my yibo content from you, and i adore it. i love seeing updates about your bunnies and your kind responses to your anons, you truly are a ray of light! you’re also one of the fairly concentrated cql blogs i follow - and for that i am always grateful.

@metawwin: ali! your gorgeous gifs are always such a light on my dash. i remember once you called me ‘rahulito’ and it made me so soft. your voice and songs are so lovely and i don’t even know where to begin thanking you for sharing your art with us. i know it means a lot to me, and it means the same to many others.

@taytawan: nuriaaa! i remember seeing you so often in the petekao tag and i gotta say that your sets of both petekao and sarawatine, especially the heart eyes series, always make me so soft. and of course, the fact that you gifted me this wonderful url! i will always be thankful for that and for your general kindness and warmth that you bestow upon everyone.

@piningbisexuals: axelle! although we don’t talk that much, i always love seeing your gifs and your thoughts on shows on the dash. i’m wishing you all the best with your thai classes and hope that everything goes well with you! also, you should know that i read that manboss fic you gifted to me at least once a week because it just means that much to me - and i’m so glad i got you into this little silly ship of mine.

@sunsetchimyeon: nene, my pk anon! i love seeing your asks in my inbox and writing essays as replies. having conversations with you was one of my absolute highlights and i’ll always be blown away by how kind and calm and supportive and patient you are! i hope life is treating you well, my friend.

@toptaps: zey!! oh i love seeing your gifs and kindness on my dash and know that whenever i see toptap in anything, he always reminds me of you! also your gifs of sammy? absolutely gorgeous!

@giftedgays: i love you all SO much it is truly insane. being part of our tumblr gc that evolved into a discord server with a thousand channels has been one of my 2020 highlights. i loved yelling with you all about tgg every week and i must thank you all for sitting through my chanonpom breakdowns every second day.

in particular:

@pangwave - dawnie, i love you! i admire you and your no bullshit attitude so much. i know you’re going through a process of change right now, and i could not be prouder of you for persevering through it, regardless of the painful and strange circumstances we find ourselves in. i have full faith in you, and i know that you got this. we’re all here for you!

@doctorbahnjit: - alexa! i still remember when you wrote the first manboss fic and an anon sent me a link regarding it. you are genuinely one of the funniest people i know and you deserve the absolute world. i read out of the blue every day, no kidding, because it means so much to me! thank you for being my fellow chanonpomer, my fellow manboss-er, and just being an all around ray of absolute sunshine.

@gunatps: vee! i have already embarrassed myself enough in my post to you but it’s worth repeating. i adore our eden chanonpom breakdown sessions, which we should have again soon when you have time, and i love us roasting modi in the chat, it truly cracks me up! we have so much in common and i just want to say that i am so proud of you for studying and taking your exams - i know how difficult they are.

@wavelovespang: cass!! how i adore your analyses and breakdowns of scenes and relationships, you have so much insight and wisdom that you spread in such thoughtful ways! you’re so supportive and kind and such a great teacher, i know that. your writing is so wonderful and i’m truly so honoured that we all get to read it, it’s a gift!

@class2clown: angel! i cannot say this enough but i admire your art so much, it’s so so beautiful! you’ve always been so kind and lovely, and just like with cass, thank you so much for organising the gifted week events! although i couldn’t properly partake this year because of time constraints, i loved seeing everyone’s creations and it was super thoughtful.

@soulmatelines: i’ve said this before, jo, but it must be said again: i cannot believe you thought i was cool. i’ve always adored your gifs from afar and you’re such a sweet person! i love love love talking with you in the kpop channel (even if you personally hate 3racha smh), and you truly do bear the novel agenda! i’ve learned about so many more novels i must read and for that i am so grateful :’)

@billkinpp: violet, i will never fail to crack up at a) your and kylie’s plans to run away and get married, and b) you having a thousand sideblogs and complimenting yourself on your own gifs in the tags, as you absolutely should! i hope the next year is kind to you and that your sleep schedule isn’t too fucked up :’)

@vihokratanas: mel, i will always be in complete awe of your gifs! they are always so clean and crisp. i remember still when you were fondestphan and my phannie days flashed in front of my eyes fhsnfg but either way, you’re so kind and sweet!

@pvrrish: eleni!! i don’t think i’ve ever told you this before but i’ve always loved the 2gether poster that you made, i sometimes go on your blog to look at it for like 5 minutes, it’s truly so beautiful! i hope you’ve had an okay year, all things considered, and that life is kind to you!

@lee-thanat: another leesbian, ke! y’all always crack me up in the lesbians for lee thanat channel truly. your simping for ms ladda is so valid, i miss her so much honestly. i hope that the coming year is kind to you, and that you find the peace you deserve!

okay, so i think that’s everyone that i either talk to regularly or admire a lot! in case i didn’t mention you, please please feel free to reach out to me because i mean no offense at all - my brain is small haha. would also like to shout out all my anons who send me asks and bear with my late responses these days because of life, i adore you all and i love answering your asks.

if you’re still reading after this... whole monster of a post, i’m just gonna quickly mention some things i’ve been proud of either writing or making this year. in no particular order:

1. my weary heart has come to rest in yours. this is a fic i wrote in an... interesting headspace, and i was really going through my chanonpom feelings at the time. i’m really proud of how it came out and i adored writing chanon through pom’s pov. also i kinda love how i tied in p’bird’s song prip dtah in with the fic because i adore the song and it fits so well with them.

2. petekao week 2020. i guess this is sort of cheating, because these are technically 7 fics, BUT. i am actually proud of myself for writing seven, and i think they’re all of fairly good quality. i just really love this little universe i created for the dbk characters after the show and this whole week was just so warm and lovely to be a part of.

3. this set of num and prang from a gift for whom you hate. this moment really stuck with me from the finale and i actually am really proud of the colouring and how it came out! i think the blues really popped and i managed to lighten this dark ass scene without whitewashing mek or aye. the fireworks gif also is one of my favourites i’ve made! num and prang’s whole relationship was so pure throughout the entirety of this show, i adored them.

4. but love is impossible and it goes on despite the impossible. this is the longest fic i’ve posted so far and i’m super proud of it - it’s also my most well-received fic. the yunmeng brothers mean the world to me and i just... wanted to write about jiang cheng and his love for his brother and give them a somewhat happy ending, in one future at least.

5. there’s an art to honesty. i think i really nailed my version of kao in this work! i just really loved writing this fic so much, especially because it was right after the whole ‘scandal’ with new happened. i was really just finding a way to separate kao from him, and i delved into my feelings with this fic as well, because i relate to kao in multiple ways. either way, i thought writing this fic was fun and a lot of people loved it too, which made me so soft!

if you’ve read this far, i personally adore you! while this has been a difficult year, i am blessed to have been part of this loving community, and i really hope that next year will be kinder to us all and give us good shows and discussions! i love you all. stay safe and stay kind, friends 💛

#i've been writing this for over an hour but it's WORTH IT i love you all #if i missed anyone feel free to knock me in the head god bless #rahul.txt #creator wrap 2020 #(i haven't proofread pls forgive typos)

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