#never quite buried
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percy repeating that he can be good over and over again to himself while covered in the blood after an overwhelming unleash of volatile rage that destroyed all that threatened his loved ones while grover holds his face and steadily grounds him back to reality
("i'm safe, we're safe, it's safe, just breathe")
#grover underwood#percy jackson#grover looks past the violence because percy takes precedence and percy embraces the violence because grover takes precedence#like do you get it? do you get the sorrows of being an angry person trying so hard to be Good for the people you love and falling short#because you love too much and with your whole heart but your love is rage filled thing that you could never quite quell#(how do you fight a hurricane? how do you stop a tsunami? you can't. there's no outrunning the storm)#your love is a rage-filled thing and your love is strong and you would rather sacrifice yourself on a spit then be buried above their bones#and how fucking dare anyone try to threaten that#and now you are covered in someone else's blood and you are not Good (you never were you never were) and it's all you can do not to scream#(i can be Good i can be Good you say but the words are lies because you are a storm and who has ever looked to a storm as Good)#happy talks pjo
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Duke Corvo Attano, the first of his line
... and the infinite number of reports, letters, requests, complaints, etc etc
and up close
#dishonored#corvo attano#i NEVER render things this much#but I did and it turned out quite nicely#Emily sends him to Serkonos to have some nice stress free duty and his workaholic ass buries himself in paperwork#art tag
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going to a roman villa over the weekend !!!!
#my city does have quite a bit of roman history attached to it but most of it is still buried/has been reburied after being excavated#which is so silly- but ive never been to an actual roman site before im very excited!!!!#yapping
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why does every article reporting on idf war crimes go "hamas, who started the war on october 7th with their brutal terrorist attack slaughtering innocent israeli civilians, has condemned the idf's use of-"? like, nearly verbatim every single time. we know about october 7th. we know by now. half the time, hamas isnt even relevant but they gotta find some way to sow doubt and numb any potential compassion responses. will you get fired if you show sympathy for murdered palestinian civilians without first adding a disclaimer saying its all their fault for being born in gaza? if you call "palestinians under 18" children? if you use the words "murdered" or "brutal" or "massacre" for acts that didnt occur on october 7th? if you call a spade a spade? why are israeli reports front page news without proper fact-checking but palestinian reporting is always "allegedly" even when theres video evidence? why does the idf not get the hamas treatment of reminding everyone that theyre biased before treating their words as law, like they havent been caught bold-faced lying again and again?
#soooooo fucking infuriating#'palestinians are allegedly starving but thats what hamas (who are savage terrorists in case you forgot) said as well so who knows?'#'idf soldiers are allegedly bragging about and showing pictures and videos of their war crimes on social media but#its not in english so we may never know what theyre saying. palestinian ''civilians'' are translating so whatever they say must be wrong'#'in other news. heres what ''doctors'' are referring to as a ''calendar'' but is written in arabic (terrorist language) so the idf must be#telling the truth when they say its proof they are all evil and must in some nebulous way suddenly stop living'#to be fair. the 'secret hamas names list disguised as calendar but REALLY about oct 7' shit was the target of skepticism quite early on#but it really does show how often the idf lies to justify obvious war crimes#maybe they should provide verified evidence or even just be given a bias disclaimer before printing their claims as fact???#every single fucking death toll is phrased as 'hamas-run ministry of health reports death toll of x' like?#yeah? thats their fucking government? what else do you expect?#you do understand that the healthcare portion of their government is probably more reputable#than what the phrasing of those headlines are obviously trying to imply?#i understand that bias is still possible there but its not armed combatants making shit up#its doctors who receive govt paychecks doing their best to identify the disfigured bodies not buried under rubble#youre not slick with that wording
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baffled by the results on that poll ngl. I'm pussy I guess but I cannot be takin accomplice raps
#bein on the ward was quite enough institutionalisation for my black ass#hell i don't even want to be in the position to be *questioned* by cops if i can avoid it#they'd arrest me even if i DIDN'T help you hide a body. bc i Behave Suspiciously (read: Autistically and Traumatised-ly)#so i'ma get myself either best-case retraumatised or worst-case dead for YOU????? WHY#fuck outta here. bury your own goddamn body. and like i said. talk to me again when we're in a different kind of universe#(i guess people are runnin with the assumption that they're good enough to hide a body and never get caught. i am NOT that optimistic.)
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it wouldn’t help you
it doesn’t help me
it’s Friday afternoon
there goes Antigone to be buried alive
Antigonick Sophocles transl. Anne Carson
#i've had this in tags somewhere before but can't find it again#how the 'filing away' of the chorus is an archiving#telling a story as mnemonic device#reading this in full finally & seeing 'archives of grief' - the curse as pattern prediction & the driving weight of history#the doubled meaning of 'house' the room of death everyone must eventually go to & antigones status as living dead#the ordering power of the archive & the cyclical nature of tragedy that can never quite catch the moment itself the unspoken the mundanity#there goes antigone to be buried alive#antigonick#sophocles#anne carson#antigone#knives#mnemonic
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Shitposting intencifies
#genshin impact#my stuff#neuvillette#lumine#paimon#the next update promises to be quite dramatic#so I felt the need for something silly#or rather stupid#I never owned an old dog#but this is how i imagine it feels#thanks Lu-MEAN!#i actually love his idle animations#this one is beautiful sad wistful and graceful#but#I hope I buried it deep enough in the tags#so that nobody ever reads it#i mean#he applies WET status to himself#he literally wets himself#i'll se myself out
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I can’t even put into words how beautiful the last part of TIBYIM was! Your writing has been incredible throughout and I feel so lucky to have read your work ❤️ My heart is melting at the ending, however bittersweet it feels to be completed
Thank you, it’s been real y’all. I’m so glad you’re all enjoying the finale so far. Seeing the reactions flowing in is inflating my heart three sizes.
#it’s like one of those weird things where it doesn’t quite feel real yet lmao#tbh maybe because i never really put a hard full stop on it.#the door is closed but not locked. some windows are open etc y’know?#it won’t be the last time i write these characters i know that much#(hotd au alone tho NaNo is starting in a few days so that might be slow coming)#it’s just hard to say whether there’ll ever be another full length story#i’m so proud I finished it (only second fic i ever have)#time to rest but I’m so going to be editing this and printing a copy for personal use (emphasis on personal)#(and someone is working on a bound copy too!!!)#time to put this bad boy on my shelves#asks#fic: today i bury you in me
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Muse Aesthetic / Feelings
𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒. being unable to stop smiling. laughter. bear hugs. happy tears. waving arms around. dancing. contently sighing. eyes twinkling. laughter lines. childlike playfulness. skipping. talking more. affection. cracking more jokes than usual. gesturing more when talking. higher pitched voice. squealing. jumping around. clapping.
𝐒𝐀𝐃𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒. tearing up. self-hugging. one-arm cross. an aching chest. scratchy throat. a runny nose. turning away. deep breaths. quivery smiles. crying. infantile sobbing. hands gripping each other or an object. covering mouth. puffy eyes. eyes appear red. voice breaking. a distant or empty stare. monotone voice. asking for comfort. faking a smile. crumbling. shaking. whimpering. depression. abusing an unhealthy habit (excessive training). withdrawing from others. big teary eyes. doing something even if it could hurt them.
𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑. furrowed brows. baring teeth. passive-aggressive comments. avoiding eye contact. sarcasm. headache. sore muscles. hiding clenched fists. irritability. jumping to conclusions. raising voice. going silent. demanding immediate action. keeping it all in until exploding. body tensing. making risky decisions. middle finger.
𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐑. wanting to flee or hide. what-ifs. images of what-could-be flashing in mind. uncontrollable trembling. rapid breathing. screaming. a skewed sense of time. irritability. keeping silent. denying fear. turning away from the cause. pretending to be brave. nail-biting. lip-biting. scratching skin. a joking tone but a voice that cracks. fainting. insomnia. panic attacks. exhaustion. substance abuse. tics. rushing adrenaline. face draining of colour. hair lifting on the back of the neck. feeling rooted to the spot (!!!) making body as small as possible. staring but not seeing. crying. a shrill voice. whispering. gripping something or someone. stuttering. flinching at noises. pleading.
𝐄𝐗𝐇𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍. constantly yawning. blurring words together. dark circles or lines under eyes. mood swings. hallucinations. calling people by the wrong name. dizziness. denying they’re tired. slow blinking. trouble concentrating. stumbling. leaning on a doorframe for support. sluggish movements. falling asleep someplace that isn’t a bed. becoming irritated by the smallest things. “i’m awake, i’m fine.” shaking so bad they spill their drink. fall asleep in their clothes. lay their head on the table because they’re so tired.passing out.
Tagged by: @militus an age and a half ago 🤍 Thank you, I had fun!
Tagging: /cracks knuckles. @sicsemper (Gee, I wonder who), @rcdfcxr (initially I wanted to request just Rufus, but I'm really interested in Reno as well, so both!), @inventorem (@aworldofyou because I don't know if you'll see this otherwise), @svnsworn (Jessie), @blitzrod, @tscng, @sentmail (I'm on the 'Lemme learn about Kunsel' train, shh), @lionfated (I've been missing Leon, pretty please), @annjiru (I also am on the Angael train still), @cwarscars (I need you to envision me as a koala very dramatically clinging to your leg), @spynorth (if you tell me you've done it already Lucas, it doesn't matter, do it again and again!), @trickstercaptain, @freedomhasfangs, @lighthouseborn (I can never have enough Henry Turner in my life, ever), @weaponiised, but also— @liifestreams (please give me Reeve, the novel is killing me slowly and he killed me a little). And anyone else? Steal it, I'm sure I've forgotten people and it's nothing personal whatsoever!
#[ tifa lockhart. ] she had buried the twinges of guilt beneath the narcissism of self-sacrifice. beneath the belief of 'the greater good'.#[ tifa lockhart / et cetera. ] but i work for shinra. i'm the enemy. / i don't care. i don't want anyone to die. please!#[ tifa lockhart / meta. ] people have many things pent up inside of themselves. so many things they can never forget. strange isn't it?#[ it has been years and i still never can decide what to 'file' this stuff under. probably just a me problem. ]#[ it's not quite meta because i didn't write it-- it's also not 'relevance' because-- well. not using it for this. ]#[ any way-- this was /very/ fun actually. and i sat here in contemplation for a few of them. ]#[ this actually puts into perspective; again; why i love the nuance of animation that remake gives tifa. ]#[ the voice and animation definitely added to just about anyone; i always want to point out how much of tifa is in the subtleties. ]#[ the clenched fists-- the self-hugging. the doubt that lingers within regardless of anger. and how it's shown even in little gestures. ]#[ like when she suggests going out on the town with cloud and he questions her for half a moment-- she folds back in on herself. ]#[ same thing with the train for example-- literally rooted in place. and it's not taking away from the bravery she holds on many levels. ]#[ it's the nuance of bravery-- that it isn't black or white. you can have doubt and i think the remake did a chef's kiss job with that. ]#[ because we're so immensely layers as human beings-- so it's incredible to me to see a game reflect on that so heavily. ]#[ that game is incredibly human. it's an incredibly good depiction of human nature and reactions. ]#[ and god-- the VAs add to that magnificently. truly. ]#[ i literally cannot praise britt enough. she was so nervous and she aced it. they all did. ]#[ god; all i can think about (especially) is the 'what-ifs'-- literally. doubt. /doubt/. and that is what makes her so good. so real. ]#[ i'm gonna ramble a little more; excuse me-- can we talk about how realistic that is? no one who's brave won't doubt their actions. ]#[ tifa has lost everything to shinra-- sephiroth is shinra 'gone wrong'. she lost everything at his hands and no one could stop him. ]#[ not even shinra itself and that's very important. there's so much anger there that drives her to do selfish things. ]#[ and i note selfish because on the way to a smile has touched on this magnificently as i'd hoped it would. ]#[ she wants them to pay-- she wants her revenge. but she; arguably more than anyone; is aware of what that costs. ]#[ if avalanche goes through with this-- and she helps-- AND SHE DOES. she is responsible for people losing... ]#[ what she once lost. ]#[ and that is /so important/ to her character. before that happens; she is riddled with doubt. before she boards the train-- ]#[ when she's boarded the train and needs to jump off. that moment is /the/ moment where she makes a huge decision. ]#[ because look at how she is once she's jumped off. that entire chapter. she's relatively certain. she's going through with it. ]#[ no way back. ]#[ and then the plate falls not long after. /and then the plate is dropped/. yep. ]#[ ... i'm about to hit tag limit; don't worry-- i'll type about this soon. it's in my onenote! ]
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obsessed with this snippet from the mdzs unrevised version. jgy ur such a crecher
#it's easy to make a comparison between jgy and mianmian and ''if it sucks hit da bricks'' and why one did it while the other didn't#but it's interesting how this cut paragraph draws a much clearer parallel#AND IT MAKES ME INSANE. he's so obsessed with his goal he doesn't realize he's burying his own grave#and by the time he gets legitimized it's already too late. he would never quit it still but by then it's impossible#and with mianmian we see such a clear possibility of happiness outside the cultivation world#she was also a poor lowly servant who climbed the ranks through her merits. and gave it all up once she realized the depths of the stink#but there is a good life possible. it won't be glamorous or powerful but it can be good#and SHAKES JGY. YOURE SO SMART AND CAPABLE. YOU COULD HAVE BUILT SUCH A GOOD LIFE FOR YOURSELF#WHY DIDNT YOU LEAVE WHEN YOU STILL COULD 😭#my meng yao happy ending is impossible cause it's OOC but it's just: he gets sick and realizes he'll never be anything more than a whoreson#to these people. gives the middle finger and leaves. somewhere no one knows him and he can start anew. amen#jgy ur so tragic ily#modao#lace speaks
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okay I just watched s4e4 with my mom and she still has not caught onto the fact that will is gay and has a crush on mike… like come on
#she is not in her brightest moment lmao even tho normally she’s quite good at predicting stuff in media#we are going REALLY fast tho like at least 3 eps a day we watched every season in like two or three days lol#but if she hasn’t caught on by the gay ass burying scene I’m gonna laugh in her face#stranger things#byler#good news tho my mom is obsessed#like she has literally never been this into a show I made her watch#she liked others but she talks about st now all the time#it’s so fun seeing her get all the 80’s refs#jade talks
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good evening dash!! i feel more like myself and ofc my first instinct is to write angst so :' )
#after playing way too much bg3 and listening to a lil music i got inspired :' )))#i was actually gonna write a thing for rin first and some drafts but! this song makes me think of chiyo so much#and i just?? never get to write her feeling openly frustrated or angry?? she's always holding her hurt so closely to her chest#she's always burying how deeply her self-blame and self-loathing runs#and maybe i'll finish writing this thing out and it'll feel ooc and i won't post it#but i just wanna see how it plays out bc a lot of characters are just so good at?? knowing how to handle chiyo or she overcomes things#'off camera' so to speak#but chiyo really does hate the way she is and she's hated it for a long time#she's disliked herself for a long time and she doesn't quite understand how people can put up with her when she's#a difficult person in her own eyes#LISTEN I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS!!! and so does she :' (((#anyway thank you all for being patient with me <3 wasn't even a full 24 hours and that's how i know it's the hormones making#my brain all funky uvu#get ready to ramble | ooc
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Every once in a while someone mentions that TDP Callum is actually biracial and I’m violently reminded that he’s the perfect intersection of the secretly-special mediocre white boy main character and the Green-Eyed Asian Love Interest. Totally passes as white for easy projection, but if you point out the bland male wish-fulfillment aspect of his rushed romance with the hyper-competent, super-waifu-able, so-Caucasian-her-hair-is-white elf girl then suddenly it’s “actually really unique and important interracial relationship rep :)”
#like I get that everyone needs to justify what they like as Important Rep or Meaningful Commentary now. but please shut the fuck up#all of TeeDeePee fandom sucks but especially the Rayllum fans#your white bread m/f romance is perfectly inoffensive but that doesn't make it unique nor interesting#ofc there's nothing inherently wrong with having a white-passing mixed race main character but the Special Eyes make it feel so cynical#they couldn't even give their POC main characters brown eyes ffs#on the other hand: here's how desi Viren can still win—#Kumari comments#Kumari abuses the tagging system#(yes this flared up again bc of smthn I saw in the teedeepee tags but it's quite buried behind reactions to the teaser trailer at this point#I've seen ppl defend Callum bc he's 'positive biracial rep' before and like. sorry but if you have to reach for that he's bland as hell fr#and being biracial has never once been relevant to his character anyway#ppl also don't talk about Ezran the same way even though he's also biracial. wonder why that is)
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god shedding tears over the fact that . there’s something so tragic to me about obi wan ending up on the planet that anakin grew up on. it’s like of course you see his ghost there. over every dune, in every hustling market , the heat sinks into your bones and no one ever REALLY leaves that planet unscathed , no one really leaves the sand at all.
#thinking about how that planet is a literal and figurative grave.#anakin and shmi as slaves / anakin being freed and having to leave his mom behind#his mom sacrificing that relationship. she knew in her heart she’d never see her son again#and yet her love and selflessness..#anyways anakin there was always half of him home with his mom#always#always pulled there half of him will be buried there always#i cannot quite elaborate on the facets of the home …. his childhood his mother#half of his heart always on tatooine it’s why as vader he never returns.#( shush. )#anyways#luke growing up on tatooine with loving parents but to me it’ll always be in the belly of anakin skywalker.#the suns and dunes his blood and heart the heat and desolation#luke rising from that and carrying that light and warmth despite.#idk i’m rambling here#there’s just something that makes me ache about being in a place you’re so unfamiliar with#but a loved one long lost ….. being there#THE KENOBI NOVELS STAB U IN THE HEART MAN#obi wan visiting shmi’s grave#/n
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Benefits of audiobooks- I can listen to them while I work, and I am forced to hear and consider every word, rather than read at my usual flying pace, which means I don’t miss things as much and get a deeper and more sustained enjoyment from a really good book
Disadvantages of audiobooks- When there are emotional details they aren’t blunted by the fact that my uncontrolled eye is already skimming the next passages and there are some Emotions that are not appropriate for working hours
#The Woman in White#Because Mrs Clements saying 'I made her first short frocks' broke me#And yet if I'd been reading a physical copy of that passage I'd probably have flown through it without remembering that sentence at all#Also the bit where Hartright says that Anne is buried in a place that Mrs Clements would have chosen for her herself#Was very upsetting#AND to top it all off I've just gone back an dlooked up the passage again and there's a sentence about how#Hartright 'is certain that she was not neglected in her last moments'#WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WALTER#Ok so she had medical attention and all the kindness that strangers could give her#But she died in a strange place confused as to why she was there surrounded by people who only wanted to use her#and the one person in the world who loved her not only didn't know where she was but never heard of her death until Walter told her#At least I suppose when he says that he means it as a comfort to Mrs Clements and that's totally fair and valid but still#Honestly I quite enjoyed the book but Anne Catherick deserved so much better than a single line on a tombstone#Maybe I'm just susceptible to statements about people who died without their loved ones near them for personal reasons#And I know it's a very common occurrence and even in the Victorian era when many people died at home it was common then#But poor Anne deserved better#Anyway also proof that audiobooks count as 'real books'#Because even though I don't always count them towards reading challenges I actually find that I pay more attention#and get a lot more out of fiction books at least than if I'd been reading them in a physical copy#Non-fiction is a different matter but I learnt to race through novels at an early age and just eat them up without much mulling over them#And it's hard to control my eye even when I'm trying to savour a book#So audiobooks actually make me read more carefully and sensibly#Perhaps the main disadvantage is I never know how the names of people and places are spelt#Especially if the narrator has an accent#reading log
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i'm supposed to be sleeping but i'm busy sobbing into my hands over ryou for like the fifth time already this week
#he's just so. aaaaaa#at first it was something stupid like me reflecting on his dumb destiny draw line#(his. his silly lil 'i need a SUPER critical card for this SUPER critical time!!'#in which i politely say please shut up and kiss me ASJGDJH)#and then it was about everything he went through in canon (as usual)#and then it was just. i want him to be happy :(#i say that so often i know but i just. he deserves to be happy and to rest#he's been through so much even before the start of the series and yet he just.#he still manages to keep himself together. he still manages to be kind and he's still strong and secure despite it all#he's willing to put himself on the line for people he barely even knew when yamiba was a threat to them...#he was willing to let yamiba take over his body again if it meant helping his friends despite knowing the consequences#like yeah some of the things he did were hasty and questionable but#i genuinely think that he believed he was doing the right thing#even if it was for his own curiosity i think somehow it still rooted back to helping yugi and the gang one way or another#and after it's all said and done the things that yb did still come back to haunt him#he never gets a break :( he never gets to truly rest even after the ring is gone#i don't. even know where i'm going with this#i just. don't you think he's tired?? after everything?? after losing his sister and his mother?#after his dad starts getting distant and burying himself in his work because the loss of the rest of their family was too much for him??#after having that overwhelming feeling that he did something wrong but never knowing quite what it was for most of his childhood??#after getting possessed and being used as only a host body for the ghostly equivalent of a parasite?#after having to abandon his other schools and friends and his own house because he didn't want anyone getting hurt by him??#and yet he's just. not. he's not bitter about it he's not exhausted (on the surface at least) and he's still so polite and still standing..#aaadsakhksjfsasfjhkdsa i don't know what i'm trying to say#i just. i love him. he's so much more stronger than i could ever hope to be#i want him to feel safe with me. like he doesn't have to be that all of the time#but i'm so proud of him regardless. just for making it this far#anyway i'm. sobs. i love this dork so much#need to go and like... bury my face into his hair or something skjhfjkhsd#mister side character here has a sparse amount of canon info so i am. personally filling in gaps if any of this looks iffy
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