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lediz-watches · 1 year

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Hang on to your life

In this episode, Carlos proves himself The Best Hero and I love him.

Side note – the episode image from the wiki (which is where I get these from) could not have picked a more 70s dressed set image if it possibly tried. Also: BREAD.

I’m liveblogging The Winchesters as a Supernatural!virgin. Please keep my lack of knowledge in mind if you continue...

In episode thoughts:

Ha. Cat scare. And here I was thinking about how Buffy taught me to enjoy the irony of a guy going down a dark alley to die

He… appears to be smoking? Like, literally?

Oh. Spontaneous Combustion. Or not so spontaneous, it seems. But will there be a foot left behind?

Really, John? You’re asking if she’s out NOW? Timing, my dude.

Ugh. Okay, on the one hand, I enjoy an episode where my two favourites get to take the lead, but on the other hand… actually, pause, I have to talk about this because I think it’s important.

By staying behind, John is making it clear that Mary is his priority over the job. And normally, that would be a good thing, because it shows balance and emotional connection over the whole violence thing. It would be a sign he can be redeemed. But the thing is, he doesn’t normally do this, and following on from his not great timing earlier, to me this feels… uncomfortable. As I’m writing this, I realise that it feels vaguely controlling. Like the sort of behaviour that implies he’s more doing it because he wants to keep an eye on Mary and make sure she doesn’t make any decisions about her life without him having a say in it.

And I do know that’s me making assumptions, probably. I hope I’m just reaching and misreading because I dislike John as a character, but right now, as I’m watching it, that’s how it feels.

And it is NOT MADE BETTER by Carlos’s response of “I’ll allow it”, as much as that was played as a joke, because… dude, Carlos, you’re still a man, and in this context, that statement feels like you are ‘allowing’ a boy to stay with your female friend. This is how people read too much into fiction and make unhealthy connections and hyper!feminist critique and get angry and ughhhh stop doing this…!

Okay moving on, sorry, I’m done.

I appreciate this bartender. I feel his hospitality pain.

…Yeah, Carlos is so Rivers Gemini forever now. It suits him, and that bed jacket he’s wearing today.

Mary. MARY. Note the flag. I know I said I’m done, but NOTE THE FLAG.

So, Rivers, what’s the need to get out?

Oh look, another character I’m supposed to recognise and don’t! The music insists. I’m sure I’ll figure that out later.

Aw, Carlos misses the life that could have been. That’s sad but exactly the sort of the thing I was hoping for from Mary! Why is Carlos’s understated backstory everything I wanted from Mary?

Oh. Maybe hat-guy isn’t supposed to be recognised so much as future important.

Wait, so Ada knows Mary’s dad. I didn’t think he was a Man of Letters? Are Men of Letters and Hunters the same thing? That hasn’t been clarified!

Okay, no. Mary’s dad doesn’t like the Men of Letters. But he does know Ada. And Ada was definitely one of Henry’s partners, and Henry was a Man of Letters. I AM SO CONFUSED.

Feather guy was gonna burn Jericho… but went for the bartender? For why?

That’s a cool tattoo. I like it. Probably not worth the burning humans, but still cool.

Okay, he’s not a look or aesthetic style of Loki that I’d like, but I do enjoy a trickster god.

Yes, Sam, you’re right. This sudden character development from the crew is ridiculous in less than a few months. I love them, but I agree, this is very strange that we’re supposed to believe this happened the way it did.

He’s also right that Mary’s a stubborn jackass. And I do like that this all happened because Sam realised he’d screwed up as a parent. And was his misguided attempt to get her out of the game. Oh, yes, I like this so much. Now I just want her to realise that she wanted the choice, but also wanted the game.

SUBTITLES THAT TRANSLATE SPANISH! IMPROVEMENTS!

Oh, Loki, you bastard trickster. This is cruelty to a hero.

And sure enough, Carlos is the hero I want.

G-gli- glitter?

Oh, but Loki, you will. These are the rules of gods. You test humanity and if humanity succeeds, you must accept it.

Awwww Carlos and Mary (and Lata being a brat in the background) and I love it so much!

Look, Samuel, I appreciate the sentiment, but I would be way happier with you if you said ‘hey, so, Ada found this thing and I’m planning to go help her out. You can come, but we also need to find those places again, and your team is great, so maybe we could split up’

Come oooon, Carlos, live the dream again for a minute

Because yeah, this you, I buy 100%. Is good food for the fangirl.

Also, I kind of want this cover on my spotify now.

M-Millie, what are you doing in this montage right now?

Oh, Mary… oh Mary.

And that’s another flag, that he’s not focussed on her when she’s saying THAT, of all things. I mean, I know the fans are freaking out right now, but come on. That was a big statement for this woman, pay her some goddamn mind.

Let’s just cut out John so I can enjoy this, because it was actually a great episode and I really loved a lot of it!

I love Carlos. I love his story, I love that he gave up his dreams to DO GOOD, that he was willing to sacrifice and sacrifice to the end, and that that, in fact, was his saving grace, and he was still given a moment to be the man he wanted to be, WHILE loving his life and his family and arghh he’s such a wonderful character I love him so much!

And Samuel! The whole story being a result of Samuel screwing up his attempt to set things right! The fact that he acknowledged that his father screwed him up, so he screwed up Mary and Maggie, and when he lost Maggie he knew he needed to save Mary, but he didn’t COMMUNICATE so it all went to hell, and ladies and gentlemen this is what happens when you don’t COMMUNICATE and –

And he’s so proud of the leader his little girl has become! Because all she ever really needed was a chance to be a hero and look at her becoming so much better than Samuel or his father or any of them ever were and –

AND LATA IS SUCH A LITTLE BRAT I LOVE HER SO MUCH.

Gah! Chapter Nine, right, right, moving on. (or back to chapter one if you care.)

#the winchesters #have I mentioned I love Carlos yet?#Because I love Carlos #And Lata is a brat so I love her too #choosing good to the end #we're ignoring john and mary's whole deal for our mental health #Samuel is a very good flawed paternal figure #basically I almost loved this whole episode

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evakuality · 3 years

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Mia, episode five

1. One thing Druck is super good at is these aesthetic shots. This whole opening bit reminds me of the scene with Amira when she’s praying in her room. Lots of beautiful shots of the room, curtains and stuff, which are just super pretty with a few hints of colour. I dunno, this is just an aesthetic I like and I appreciate that Druck caters to me. Mia is so cute, too! Like both the way she looks and also how kind she is. She still doesn’t really like Alex a lot (though you could see in that montage from the previous night that she’s warming up to him) but she still feels like she should leave things looking nice. These little post-it notes are sort of cute too, and you can see that she thinks they’re sweet. I don’t like this Bjorn though.

2. Interesting that we get a clip specifically one week later. I have no idea how that must have felt while this was live, and I’m really glad that I didn’t have to live through these long gaps in any of the things I did watch in real time. This one was reasonably low key though, so maybe the wait wasn’t as agonising. If you didn’t know who Bjorn is (I’m assuming the Niko character) then nothing in the last couple of clips would have felt all that alarming. But Mia’s so flirty here - that one conversation at his house must have really charmed her. Pity we didn’t really get to hear a lot of it because he still hasn’t charmed me!! And actually that ‘show a montage of how things are going while a song and/or other conversation plays overtop’ is a huge thing Druck does, I think. I feel like in some cases (Matteo and David after their first pool kiss moment, for example, or Hanna and Jonas breaking up) work quite well. But here, I think we needed to hear more of Alex to actually believe that Mia would be this flirty with him. For me, this is too big a turnaround from her very cold manner with him at the piano and an actual proper look at that conversation might have helped. But also, I am super biased because William and so maybe a more reasonable person might like it okay. This bit with Linn is weird. Genuinely creepy, and I’m not sure why they’re setting her up to feel like this. Maybe some sort of hint of the creepiness to come with Bjorn (I’m assuming it’s coming, anyway).

3. I don’t get this bit with all the pictures at the school. I assume it will become obvious later but I’m not sure what exactly they were trying to do with this. You’d think they run the risk of having the whole Abi chaker clan thing shut down - if this happened in my school there’d be so much trouble. A groups of kids once put post-its all over one teacher’s room and they got in SO much trouble for it, and that wasn’t obscene like this is. This thing here seems so targeted at the Abi thing, using their plan specifically, that it feels like someone outside the group wants them not to be allowed to run their theme. Or someone in the group who wants a different motto maybe. I don’t know, but it feels very mean and very specifically directed at this group of people.

4. Hmmm, I’m with Leonie on this one. I’d be giving Carlos the super evil stare too. It may be ‘funny’ to some of these people, but given that there are younger kids at this school (I assume, right? They still have classes running for the smaller ones at the end of Matteo’s season, allowing their prank to go ahead) this is sure to go down really badly with the school itself. I’m rolling my eyes at the ones who are outraged that the school is considering reporting it - what did they expect? Also, surely they can figure out who was doing it - people were literally throwing handfuls of the pictures over the stairs. Surely they could work out who it is. It’s pretty clear that Alex still thinks this is funny and I’m losing patience with him. Every time it seems like maybe he’s getting less gross he goes and acts like this again. Bleh. I’m not often rooting for Leonie and feeling for her, but wow today I really am. This is shitty and she has a right to be angry.

5. Ew, Alex, why are you stalking Mia again? She’s made it pretty clear she’s not happy with you. Turning up out of the blue like a creep isn’t a good way to go about winning her over again. His ‘we were drunk, what can you do?’ is so... stupid??? They’ve lost money from this, the school is really angry, they could easily have some pretty bad consequences and he’s all ‘meh, it was a drunken prank’? I know money isn’t an issue for him, but there are issues here beyond the money. I’m also kind of annoyed that everyone keeps suggesting she’s upset because she’s jealous. I’ll be really annoyed if the show carries on this way - this isn’t just a silly little prank, and people have every right to be angry and annoyed. Diminishing it to jealousy isn’t cool. Is Leonie also jealous? The people who are angry and upset they’re being blamed and their money has been taken?

6. I do love scenes where the whole girl squad is together. They make me happy and I miss seeing them together so much. But OMG, Alex is blackmailing Mia again???? I mean I guess it worked the first time so why wouldn’t he? But this is seriously shitty behaviour. Honestly, in clip one I was mildly starting to warm to him with the post-its and all, but he’s managed to speed run right back into ‘asshole’ category. This was the problem in the og as well - William was such an asshole, that in order to make him likeable, we had to see a much more genuinely villainous character. Alex is still super dislikeable and so we need someone ‘worse’ to make him look palatable, which I assume is coming. We’re halfway through - we should like him by now. I dunno. Maybe some people do? But he still has done nothing to make me think he’s nice or someone who Mia might be attracted to.

7. Oh a long Friday clip? Almost half the episode? I guess it’s going to be a rough one for Mia then. More reflections again - her whole face in the mirror now, but it’s surrounded by graffiti. I’m always fascinated by the way mirrors and reflections work, and it’s fun to see Mia slightly obscured in her mirrors even now. It’s not as disjointed as it was at the start but it’s not a fully clear reflection either. I may not like the way Noora/Mia’s story goes but I do like some of these things which show the progress.

8. I feel kind of sorry for Jonas, because that break up wasn’t his choice. But seriously, he seems to be blaming this on Hanna a bit and like ????? He chose to make her feel small and unworthy through her whole season. She’s allowed to try to figure herself out outside of him and his wants and needs. Eh, I know he’s hurting and all, but that’s actually his issue and he shouldn’t be pushing it on her.

9. This scene with Mia and Alex bothers me. He still seems to have no idea why she might find his actions (selfish and self-serving and filled with blackmail) offputting. ‘I fixed it, so we should totally be together now’ is such an immature and childish take on this. These types of guys need to grow up and learn that they can’t just buy and/or coerce their way into whatever they want. I like the way they decide to have Kiki walk past just as Mia has to choose whether to say she doesn’t want Alex or not. It adds a poignancy to it and Mia obviously chooses to stick by her friends. I do wish it felt more conflicting, like if Alex genuinely had changed or had shown he has depth or something it would be a bigger ‘wow she’s rejecting him for her friend’ but instead he’s still such an unpleasant character that I don’t care.

10. I’m not sure why Mia does the brushing off of the makeup - I feel like it made more sense when Noora did it (I mean I watched it once a very long time ago so who knows, but my memory is that it was her way of trying to reject being ‘pretty’ and having guys liking her because it was messing her up). With Mia, I don’t understand. Someone help me out?

11. I still don’t get what Mia sees in Alex. Again, I know I have a really big bias against him because of William and I know it was always going to be tough for him to be someone I care about. But even so, this feels like a huge whiplash when she says of course she likes him. I’d get it if we’d seen any of his development, but every time he took a mini step forward he shoved himself right back into dislikeable territory. Once again, I mourn the actual conversation between Mia and Alex. This all feels far too fast, and the fact that this is suggesting his blackmail is all good is very worrying. All the post-it notes in the world can’t make me think he’s nice enough to want to kiss.

Overall, I didn’t really like this one. I feel like the pacing is still off; I don’t believe the speed at which Mia has fallen for him and honestly it hasn’t been very long since Kiki was with Alex and had her heart broken. The fact that Mia even saw her and told him she doesn’t like him only to turn around immediately and change her mind is strange to me. Mia has always come across as a caring person who tries to do the right thing and help out her friends. That she has apparently no qualms at this point is difficult for me. They’re acting the hell out of this, but I can’t buy it. Unfortunately. Sadly, because this is based on a very flawed original, I don’t think it’s going to make me enjoy these two. There are things that I’m interested in seeing as we go forward but most of those have zero to do with Alex.

#druck #mia - episode 5 #didn't like this one #update on feelings about Alex - still don't like him #honestly I don't see why Mia goes after him #none of this makes sense to me

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beeexx · 3 years

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A little Tarlos moment fron 2x09

Read on ao3

TK’s headache has moved further down from his forehead, to settle like a blanket of pain wrapped over his eyes instead. It makes sitting in the uncomfortable hospital chair all the more worse, the bright light doing nothing other than adding to his growing discomfort and slight nausea. He is tapping his leg, the sound bouncing off the quiet sleepy room, and he thinks that the only reason Marjan hasn’t whacked him to make it stop is because she’s still pitying him over his brief spell in a room similar to the one Judd is in for a concussion that still hasn’t completely gone away. He moves his head between his legs, closes his eyes to try and drown out some of the blinding lights and breathes through his nose.

He keeps bouncing his leg though.

TK hates hospitals. He has many reasons for disliking them but he’s never had to spend a night on the edge of his seat, worried sick for people he cares about before, not in this capacity at least and it’s making him feel sick.

The worst thoughts rush through to the surface unbidden. What if he never gets to see either one of them again, hear them laugh, joke around with Judd, dinner at their place every other Sunday. What if Judd doesn’t make it? What if Grace dies? What if -

“Hi, you okay?” It’s Carlos of course, back from his coffee run, who gently places a hand on his shoulder. TK tenses for a moment, caught off guard and suddenly ready to bolt right out of his seat. He can’t fully tamper down his reaction and Carlos notices of course. TK thinks he’s probably frowning and it doesn’t take long for Carlos to start to shuffle around until he’s sitting on the ground in front of TK, coffee cup left forgotten on the chair. TK opens his mouth-

“Don’t tell me you’re fine, it’s very obvious that you aren’t.” Carlos chastises making TK look up from the ground he’s been staring holes at. His lip twitches though and he nods.

“Yeah, I won’t.” He promises and it makes Carlos’ worry lines less prominent for a moment. His hair is still a little sleep tussled, a few strands of curls at the back Carlos spends ages on each morning to lie flat are now loose and he looks tired, he is probably as tired as TK feels.

It’s been just a few days since the kidnapping and TK’s gotten used to having a particularly sort of nasty headache as his daily companion since then, ruining both his days and nights with spells of pain that won’t go away. Well, it’s probably ruined Carlos’ nights too, judging by the growing circles underneath his eyes, and TK’s constant tossing and turning every time they’re in bed. It’s been a few days of bad sleep and lounging around the house with Carlos worrying. It makes TK feel really bad, he hates it when Carlos worries about him.

Both he and Carlos had however gotten their best night’s sleep in days when the call came through, waking them both and sending TK into a near panic attack when he heard what had happened. He’s strung so ridiculously tight he’s scared he’s going to snap in half and he goes back to bouncing his leg, trying to distract from his discomfort, averting his eyes.

“Hey, no shutting me out.” Carlos gently cups his chin and forces him to meet his eyes, thumb stroking up and down in comforting motions, eyes kind and understanding. TK sighs but he nods.

“Sorry.” His voice cracks and he clears his throat, trying to get the lingering thickness away. He looks away for a moment, sees Mateo is asleep with his head resting on Paul’s shoulder while Paul is reading, frowning slightly as his eyes move across the text, flipping pages now and then. Marjan left with Tommy a while back to go do something TK isn’t sure of exactly and he hasn’t seen his dad for a while either. They are all somewhere near of course, lurking, in case something changes.

“I’m scared.” TK keeps his voice down though, just in case. Carlos nods and moves his hands to cover TK’s thighs, pressing gently down on his right leg to stop the movement. It’s an involuntary reaction on TK’s end that he stops, the effect of Carlos’ touch on him, anchoring, calming him down almost immediately. Carlos gently squeezes his knee.

“I know baby, I am too. But the doctors are optimistic and we have to believe them.”

“They are cautiously optimistic and I don’t know what that means in doctor lingo but cautiously sounds like it’s not something to celebrate yet.” He mutters.

“Maybe not, but it’s not cause for sitting here looking close to fainting either. I don’t think Judd would like it if you ended up in a hospital bed yet again after getting out of one so soon.”

“I would do it if it would make him wake up and bust my balls.”

Carlos' mouth twitches.

“He’s going to wake up.” Carlos says with such conviction TK believes him.

“But what about Grace?” He whispers, dread filling his stomach. Grace with her kind eyes, easy smiles, never ending patience and generous support TK’s not realised he’s cherished this much until she’s suddenly been hurt, with the outlook not seeming good. He is scared, terrified even that she might not make it. He doesn’t know what it would do to Judd if that was to happen. Carlos grows serious and his eyes travel to the room she is in, sadness passing over his features. With Michelle gone a lot Carlos and Grace had formed an easy friendship to fill up that empty space, and so it wasn’t totally unusual that when TK came home after shifts to find Grace and Carlos out on the patio together, drinking lemonade and chatting away, smiles wide and whatever task they had said they would do, long forgotten. It’s not just TK it pains to see Judd and Grace hurt, it pains Carlos just as much and TK immediately reaches forward, cupping Carlos’ cheek and leaning his forehead on his, offering his comfort up like it’s second nature. They both exhale, breathing through it together.

“It’s going to be okay, it has to.” Carlos says quietly and gives himself over to the worry for a moment before he pulls himself together, pushing the worry down. TK knows compartmentalising like Carlos can do is something that isn’t always the healtihest of coping mechanisms. Right now though, TK isn’t going to say anything, god knows he has a terrible track record of bad ways to deal with things, and he wishes at this moment that he could do it too, push it down and focus on something else.

“The doctors say Judd is going to wake up but it will be a few hours until then, so we’re going to have to believe that everything is going to be okay. In the meantime why don’t we go home and shower and change clothes.” He suggests.

“Not to sleep?”

“I’m not aiming that high today, I don’t think either of us will be able to do that. But you don’t look too good right now and it’s worrying me a little, so instead of checking you into this hospital myself I suggest we go back to mine and recharge for a moment and come back with food for everyone. I’m sure they’ll all need it.”

It’s a distraction, probably as much for Carlos as it is for TK, but it’s a distraction born out of kindness and a big heart, the need to do something other than sit here and worry sick. Carlos, TK has learnt during this year, is the kind of person that needs to do something, he’ll feel absolutely useless sitting still. His brain works best when he’s doing things while TK tends to be the other way around, shutting down, unable to do anything other than freezing, standing still in his growing anxiety, until everything boils over and the urge to either get high or do something almost as equally stupid gets too much and he can’t stop it, sending him down bad paths.

So he takes the opportunity and nods. Carlos gets to his feet and holds his hand out for him. TK takes it and gently and carefully Carlos pulls him to his feet and wraps an arm around him immediately. For a moment TK snuggles close, nosing at Carlos’ neck before he moves his head away, focusing on walking instead.

“How’s your head?”

“Sore.” He admits out loud and Carlos frowns. “It’s feeling more like a migrain though so maybe it’s just stress?”

“Maybe, do you want an ice pack?” TK thinks of saying no but he isn’t looking forward to getting into the car with the raging monster banging against his eyelids so he nods. Carlos gently kisses his forehead, squeezes his hand before he walks away, leaving TK alone in the mostly deserted hallway, with his thoughts again.

Being a firefighter has made TK somewhat immune to certain high risk situations, gruesome injuries, fright so visceral people become unpredictable, or shock so silent it feels it lasts for days unable to break free of, and death too, to some extent at least. His dad’s cancer, which had been a suffocating presence, expanding each day inside of TK’s ribcage, making it impossible to focus on anything other than it, giving him little room to exist outside of the anxiety and constant worry. Tim more recently, which had been quick and taking the breath out of him, slamming straight into TK like a block of concrete, catching him unaware.

His own overdose is a reminder that it takes different shapes.

And then this. Relentless, big, sudden. Impossible to escape. Scary.

They all wear their worry on their faces and clinging desperately to hope that feels like it’s dimming with each moment he stands here.

He twists the string of Carlos’ APD hoodie, the first thing he had gotten his hands on when they were rushing to get here in the middle of the night. It was a few hours ago now and there hasn’t been an update for a while now, other than that they can only wait which anyone knowing him should be aware he’s terrible at.

Carlos comes back shortly after, holding the promised ice pack, TK looks behind him at a nurse with red cheeks and a bright smile as she watches them.

“Carlos Reyes did you flirt with a nurse to get me this?” But he accepts it gratefully and presses it to his face, exhaling in relief at the cold seeping onto his clammy skin.

“I charmed her more likely, by talking about my very cute but bratty boyfriend.”

“Yeah I’ve changed my mind, I don’t care how you got it, I’m just happy that you did.” Carlos snorts and ruffles his hair.

They drive back and Carlos helps TK up the stairs before he disposes of him gently onto the bed. When he goes to leave, TK tugs him back, holding tightly onto his hand.

“Where are you going?” He sounds small, he feels small right now.

“Just to get some water, I’ll be right back -” But TK shakes his head, moves the pack of ice away and pulls harder on Carlos’ hand until he gets the hint and climbs into the bed. TK pulls him close, arms wounding around his neck and tucks his face into Carlos’ neck. Carlos' hands come to rest on his waist, big and strong, secure around TK. He feels the heath of them through the shirt he is wearing. He can feel Carlos’ heartbeat against his ribcage too, riverbating through him.

Still here. Still alive.

TK is used to danger.

But he isn’t used to this kind of danger, when it feels deeply personal, like an attack.

And it’s all so sudden, after Carlos’s suspension that has luckily been lifted but had given him enough stress and worry making TK wish he could march into Carlos’ precinct and yell at his boss that one of their best officers deserved better. It comes too soon after he was taken hostage and hurt, the wound hasn’t even begun to heal and it’s been roughly torn open again making TK feel so goddamn unsteady, the fear he’s suddenly been slammed with so tangible as it presses down on him from all sides. He feels he’s been edging closer and closer to a panic attack all night and the only thing that hasn’t sent him completely over the edge is having Carlos near.

But he’s also so goddamn scared suddenly. He’s suddenly terrified of losing Carlos. A car accident, those happen so often and maybe TK’s been naive but this has never felt like such a palpable threat to him before, until now. Until Judd and until Grace.

“Talk to me?” Carlos whispers, forcing TK out of his thoughts for a moment and TK hugs him closer, biting down the tears that have come unwillingly.

“You can never leave me.” The words come pouring out of him and his voice breaks, unable to be kept steady. He bites down hard on his lip but an audibly sniff escapes and when Carlos tries to move his head away TK hugs him tighter, not wanting any space left between them.

Carlos is quiet for a moment, but no longer than that. He takes his hands away from TK’s waist and wraps them gently around TK’s wrists to gently tug them away from his neck so he can look at him.

“What’s wrong?” He asks and takes TK’s hands in his, holding them delicately, stroking his thumbs soothingly across TK’s skin. TK angles them slightly against Carlos’ chest, closer to his ribcage, where he can feel the thumping of Carlos’ heart underneath his shirt. It comforts him, the only steady rhythm to latch onto at the moment, to try and steady his own breathing, copying the unwavering rise and fall of Carlos’ chest.

“I don’t know…” TK whispers, unable to meet Carlos’ eyes. He focuses on his and Carlos’ tangled hands, trails the blue veins with his eyes, Carlos’ slender and long fingers, trying to find the right words, while also buying some time.

“No?” Carlos gently pushes and TK shakes his head. “TK.” Carlos sighs before he cups TK’s cheek and angles it up so he can meet his eyes. TK blinks a few times to clear his watery eyes and Carlos wipes a stray tear away with his thumb, expression stricken, like it gets when he wants so badly to help but doesn’t know what to do.

“When I was taken hostage…” He begins, clears his throat a few times, can’t bear watching Carlos upset. “I didn’t really stop to consider how awful it was for you during those hours, and I haven’t been able to grasp the intent completely behind your worrying these few days and now it makes me feel like such an ass. But I understand it now too, what happened to Judd and Grace, it could happen to us too and it’s so scary, so scary Carlos, what if -” He stops, gulps down more tears and bites his wobbling lip hard.

“Hey, hey.” Carlos says gently and TK’s eyes snap to him. They are sad, but determined too. “It could, but even so I will always promise to fight to get back to you.”

“I wish you could promise me you won’t leave me or that I could promise that nothing’s going to happen to me.”

“Well knowing you, letting you out of my sight has proven to be a massive mistake, I swear you’re the most accident prone person I know.” TK wetly chuckles and Carlos’ mouth twitches, the joke easing the tension between them.

“I get scared too, all the time…” Carlos confesses and TK searches his face, reaches out automatically to smooth over the worryline on his forehead, itching to kiss it away.

“Yeah?” TK asks. Carlos nods.

“Yeah, all the time. Especially where you are concerned. But I do think it’s only normal with our jobs and so on. Just… I don’t know, try and be more careful?” The frown grows into a wry little smile and maybe if TK wasn’t so shook from earlier he would have joked it away, but he nods seriously instead.

“I promise. I will always come back, always. Even if I leave.” It’s a painful reminder of TK walking out on Carlos a few months back, still making TK feel ashamed of how he acted. But things are different between them now and walking away from Carlos and from everything they have built together and are going to continue building, that is not an option anymore. “Good.” Carlos whispers and kisses his nose making TK smile. “I will always come back too. Always. I will fight every day to make that promise true.”

“Me too.” TK promises, takes their intertwined hands and kisses the promise into their hands, hoping that the day will never come where he doubts it, doubts them and their future.

“We’re going to be okay.” Carlos promises and TK closes his eyes and rests his forehead on Carlos’, slowly starting to accept it.

“Yeah.” TK whispers.

“And so is Judd and Grace.”

TK isn’t fully there yet where he dares believe it to be true, but he isn’t giving up hope that it’s all lost either.

“So, how about a shower?”

TK opens his eyes, yawns before he stretches, pops his back and nods.

“Yeah, that sounds nice.”

Carlos helps him to his feet and in the bathroom they undress each other before they get in together. TK hums in content as the hot water washes over him and with it the last doubts he has about the future, down the drain where it belongs. As soon as Carlos joins him inside TK walks close, presses his body to Carlos’. It’s not sexual, but it’s a need, to have him near, to let the calmness of Carlos’ wash over him and bring with it a comfort only Carlos can bring out in him and judging by the harsh breath escaping Carlos’ he craves the contact almost as much as TK does. TK presses a soft kiss to Carlos’ heart and it grows comfortable between them. That’s until Carlos decides to squirt shampoo loudly on top of TK’s head, breaking them out of the moment. TK’s glare turns into a laugh and Carlos’s eyes sparkle, so very much alive and TK’s insides flutter.

They shower for longer than what they had planned and when they do make it back to the hospital, carrying food from a place Carlos knows to be one of Grace’s favourite takeaways he feels better, more hopeful and willing to believe that things will work out. Carlos’ hair is messy from TK running his fingers through it, but his arm is secure around TK’s waist and TK’s leaning on his shoulder, watching their family help unpack the bags.

And then Judd wakes up.

#tarlos #tk x carlos #carlos reyes #tk strand #911 lone star #9-1-1 lone star #missing scene from 2x9 #tarlos fic #911 lone star fic

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astriferias · 3 years

Note

Salty asks: 1, 10, 13 (Seth Gecko!) 17, and 26! 💖💖💖

hiiii! thank you @yossariandawn bby! sorry for the delay, it’s been an insane week RIP

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?*

there are a shitton of ships across all the fandoms i’ve ever been in that i truly just don’t get. in fdtd, it’s anything that pairs up the gecko brothers romantically/sexually. i just can’t do incest yall.

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

in FDTD, it’s probably Ximena’s storyline. she was a highly effective character and it was a shame that they fridged her for manpain.

also, tanner. i hate him. i love the actor and what he does with the character, but my problem with the character (and kind of with the writing of the show in general) is that no one besides kate and the geckos (mostly seth) ever have to really answer for or address any of their bullshit (even scott - he only turned it around after kate died, and although he was absolutely transformed by his grief he never actually had to confront what he made her do or the toll it took, but rather his own personal guilt over her death). tanner was a literal serial killer and the narrative treated his violence as anything from a mild (if creepy) flaw to downright comedy, and his misogyny and predatory behavior was never really treated as seriously as it needed to be. kisa never really had to address what she did to the fullers (and the narrative didn’t make clear her role in getting them there or how/why she and carlos chose kate to sacrifice).

13. Unpopular opinion about Seth Gecko?

well i’ve always absolutely hated that monologue in s2 when they rob the hair salon. not sure if that’s really an unpopular opinion, but the dialogue is weird and doesn’t make sense, and it felt like the writers were trying to shoehorn one of his speeches in but couldn’t figure out what would make it organic.

17. Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen...

well instead of the show not coming back for s4, i would’ve had them make a s4...

lol that said, overall as far as unexpected endings for shows go i thought this one was pretty good. there was closure for all of the characters, and it felt organic. we all got to see them end on a good note with each other, the evil was defeated, and even though they all (mostly) went their separate ways, we knew they’d find each other again.

however, the final two episodes were very badly paced and the writing was shaky, as we all know. i feel like that was partly bc they were going to reveal to us what happened to kate, richie, and tanner in hell (he can stay there tho tbh), but since we never got to see that it just felt rushed and the defeat of amaru very sudden. (and even if we had gotten to see more in s4, it still would have felt sudden). and with the setup for a s4, where whatshisbucket and that other dude find amaru’s necklace, it would have been wonderful to see what kate, scott, and the gecko’s arcs would be. would they try to use kate to resurrect amaru? would scott show up to bodyguard her? just how codependent would she and seth be? how much harder would seth be simping for her after she told him she loves him? tell meeeeee

26. Most shippable character?

oh absolutely seth. he’s just so slutty. 💜

more salty asks meme here

#asks #ask meme #about me #fdtd

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pluviophile-bookworm · 3 years

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High School Musical: The Musical: The Series: The Rewatch pt. 5

Technically, I shouldn't be doing this right now. But who are we kidding? I miss my Wildcats and this seems like the only thing I can do to see them again right now. So here goes

1x8: The contractually obligated emotional rollercoaster

This episode sure is a lot... I don't know if I'm ready. But it makes no sense to skip this one. I never skip through stuff I love, even when some parts are borderline traumatising. Plus I remember this episode having a bunch of hilarious moments that are definitely worth it.

'I'm really not sure what to say' — Me neither, Miss Jenn, me neither. I'm just sitting here watching this and I know I'm supposed to comment, but I just can't think of what to say. Sometimes the silence just speaks for itself.

'The Lucky Ducky Puppet Pavilion' — I can never overlook that line. Not when I know how much it took for Matt to deliver it. Fun fact: one of my cats is called Lucky, so when his siblings were about to be born, I briefly considered naming them Ducky, Puppet and Pavilion as a joke.

Ah, the El Rey. The place where Miss Jenn totally did not suffer a professional heartbreak. Things are about to get real here. And by real I mean... real dramatic.

I've got to say, I love the duality of Big Red (well, I do love everything about him so that was a no-brainer, but still): doesn't know how to hang a light, but sure does know how to light up a room; amazing with power tools, but took three weeks to make a paper-mache basketball because he kept gluing his fingers together (that last part is far more relatable than I care to admit). I just love him, ok?

The way Carlos acts about Miss Jenn's box of production notes... honestly, I totally get it. I feel like if there's one person at that point who cares about the show much more than anyone else, it's him. And I fully understand why that is. That poor boy has been lonely for too long, and this show is giving him the chance to be part of an accepting community for what feels like the first time in a long time. Just... give my boy Carlito all the hugs.

For a place that allegedly hasn't been used in so long, the El Rey is not nearly dusty enough. I mean, you should see my room if I forget to hoover for longer than a week. And we're talking about years here. There's allegedly mould in that place, but I don't even see dust. Oh well, maybe I would, if it weren't for that lighting — or lack thereof, more like.

'Whatever it says in Miss Jenn's audition file, I am me, and that is the only me I need to be.' — A beautiful sentiment, my dearest EJ. Now maybe hold on to it for a while... just a suggestion.

'Lacks emotional connection to the material' — well, I do have to agree. My first impression of EJ when I was watching the first couple of episodes for the first time was that he was 'too polished to be Troy'. Too much Technician, too little Performer. And I do love my Performers over my Technicians.

Wait, is that a Redlyn background moment I see? I mean, everything is super chaotic and fast-paced, and my two ginger babies are just sitting together on the side of it all. Bonding, I assume. Good for them.

Seb being the only one to know why Natalie is absent, along with the two of them sitting together in 1x1, makes me think... Natalie and Seb are totally besties! I mean, he's basically besties with everyone he ever talks to, so... what can I say, that boy is sunshine incarnate. He deserves all the love and appreciation.

'I know how to hang... out' — gosh, I love this one. And I can only hope everyone was laughing with him, not at him. Because there's nothing to laugh at. My boy got dragged into this whole crew stuff, it's not his fault he doesn't know everything. He's more of an on-stage person than a backstage person anyway. Maybe put him in the spotlight next time and prepare to get your socks knocked off.

No, Ash, your baking club is not at all irrelevant! Honestly, I have nothing but immense admiration for how Ashlyn manages to be in the top two students most dedicated to theatre and do all those other extracurriculars. And she probably has a 4.-something GPA, too. I don't know what the Caswells are feeding their children, but I need it this instant.

'I just don't know how to make things light up' — 'You walk into a room?' — I just... this is one of my favourite Redlyn moments in the history of Redlyn. See, the thing about Ashlyn's line here is the tone in which she says it. She doesn't mean it as a compliment, but as a statement of the absolute truth. You can hear that in her voice. And with good reason, too, because she isn't lying at all. My boy Reddy sure does light up a room by walking into it. Both of them do, really. They're soulmates, you know.

'This place is not creepy at all...' — Yeah, and things between Ricky and Nini are not totally awkward at all, either. I'm living for this.

'I can do Troy!' — Sure you can, Eej. Sure you can. Emotional connection to the material and all.

Ok, but this entire scene... Carlos marking Gabriella's lines completely flatly, EJ emoting like he's in a freaking telenovela and also chopping onions... Carlos' reaction to the latter... I'm living for all of this.

Big Red just suddenly appearing next to Miss Jenn has me rolling... and also kind of wishing he could appear like that next to me too. I mean, it's not like I've visualised that so many times... certainly not every time I have to pass by a stray dog, or give a blood sample, or talk to people, or whatever... why do you ask?

'I never really loved the name Nina anyway' — listen, I relate to the sentiment of not being super fond of your given name, but... what was that stuff in s2 about, then? I mean, I do understand that too, but the two just seem to clash a bit, I reckon. That's all.

Also, can we talk about Rini's chemistry and how it's sometimes there and sometimes nowhere to be found? I think I've figured it out. Every time the chemistry is there, they're talking about or doing things that are not necessarily inherently romantic. Reminiscing about kindergarten, how they gave each other their nicknames, 'the ribbon in your hair, the secrets that we shared, the way that you would stare at me across the room' (yeah, I went there, and for a good reason)... see, Ricky and Nini have that kind of thing going on where, however hard you try, you just can't be indifferent to the other person. It's obvious that they love each other so much, but whenever they try to make it romantic, something goes south. What I'm saying is, when you're really good friends with somebody and you try to force it into something 'more', or better said, something else (because romance is not inherently 'more' than friendship and you can pry that out of my cold dead aro hands), and the operating word here is 'force', things are bound to go wrong and even reach toxic territory. And Rini are living proof of that. Some people are just better as friends, and sometimes the entire 'I don't want to ruin our friendship' trope is very valid. I just want them to be best buddies, is that too much to ask?

Bless Steph for pushing Kourtney forward when Miss Jenn needed someone to sing! Honestly, it's moments like these that make me feel like the background characters are criminally underrated. I realise not every character can be equally central to the plot, but with this cast, I kind of want them to be. I have the feeling that most, if not all of the one-line characters in this show are people with just as much talent and potential as the main cast. They deserve recognition, you know.

Going off of the above, Dara Reneé is living proof of the point I just made. You know how Kourtney was supposed to be a one-scene wonder with two lines? And then Dara showed up and hiding her in the background was instantly out of the question. I wonder how many more hidden gems there are in the show, just sitting in the background, delivering their single line and waiting their turn in the semi-metaphorical wings.

'I just need a minute, or a vacation, it's not clear' — Me, all the time. Especially after I read chapter 11 of @redlyncentral's Let It Go. That ending broke me. And this line by Miss Jenn just reminded me of that feeling, even if what she's feeling right now might not be the exact same thing I went through with that chapter the other day. That being said, everyone go check out my lovely friend's writing right now, I promise you it's worth every second.

'We're going to take a... long five' — What, no 'thank you, five'? I was expecting that. But I guess everyone is a little bit too distraught for that now.

I have to hand it to Carlos — even when he's very obviously uncomfortable and lowkey scared of some people, he just goes up to them and calls them out. I wish I could ever be bold enough to do that.

Wow, not EJ thrashing Carlos' 'forest of boys' idea. Again. I don't get why everyone dislikes it so much, I think it's brilliant visual poetry and should have been given a chance. I said what I said.

You know, everyone has been calling the show out for saying HSM premiered in the cinema, not on telly like it did in real life; and I have been agreeing with that sentiment. But notice how Miss Jenn said 'the Utah premiere' and how there were family and friends in the audience? What if that was some sort of semi-private screening for cast, crew and their family members? It would make sense. And of course, it was held in Utah because that was where the show was filmed and where the majority of background actors, dancers and extras are from. Idk, but it makes sense to me. Note that I have very limited knowledge of how the period between post-production and the release of a movie works.

Isn't Ashlyn the best, though, always noticing when someone is not ok, hearing them out, helping them... I wish I could be half as good a friend as she is. She and Big Red are totally soulmates in that, too. And they deserve each other more than anyone else deserves them, honestly. I just love both of them so much, both as individuals and as a couple, and I cannot be made to shut up about that just yet.

I've got to say, the entire 'me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me' - 'you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you' thing was super funny. And it makes me love Rini — strictly as friends — even more. You know, I think I used to ship them during s1 because the script wanted me to. Exactly like I didn't notice Big Red until midway through the season because the script didn't want me to. Sometimes the script, the acting, the directing and other stuff has immense power over viewers' perception of a show's plot and characters. And that is, as I always point out, what rewatches are for — noticing things that may have escaped you the first time over.

Yeah, so Nini was Ricky's first crush. So what? Many people have had crushes on their best friend at some point or another. That doesn't necessarily mean they're better off as a couple than they are as friends. The opposite idea is just amatonormativity speaking. I mean, sometimes it's nice and it works out; I love me some well-written best-friends-to-lovers, but that's just not always the case and the media should stop pushing the idea that platonic relationships are in any way inferior to romantic ones.

I've got to say I really don't like it when someone interrupts two people's romantic moment (and Big Red is not exempt from my frustration in such cases even though I love him so much — just think of the In a Heartbeat scene), but honestly, bless Reddy for not letting Ricky and Nini kiss. I mean, I know full well they do kiss later on (and how!), but it's just nice to have semi-platonic Rini for a while. If and when we get season 3 (manifesting!), I really hope we get more of them putting some stuff behind them and just being best buddies.

Kourtney and Seb's friendship is honestly goals and I really wish we'd got some more of it. Just another thing to add to my season 3 wishlist. Along with, you know, an actual season 3.

EJ saying all those nice (and very true) things to Carlos has my heart (or, well, he's renting it temporarily from Redlyn and Seblos, but you know). And Carlos really was like 'A for effort, C for execution', and I adore him for that. But EJ is seriously growing. He's pretty much reached EJ 1.8 at this point, and I love to see it.

Say what you want about the Lucas Grabeel dream sequence, but I love, love, love it. Completely unironically. I mean, he's kind of my favourite OG cast member. And the 'I'm more of a Glinda' comment referencing Kate Reinders actually being one of the BWay Glindas? Here's a note from when I first watched 1x1: The drama teacher won’t stop spilling her coffee and I love her. Also, her actress was Glinda on Broadway, so I stan. See, I didn't even know Miss Jenn's name yet and I already loved her. But then she went and did some stuff in s2 and ruined all of that. Add 'proper Miss Jenn redemption' to my s3 wishlist, I guess. But I'm getting off-track (when am I not?)

I only just noticed that all of the iconic BWay leads mentioned in the song (sans Glinda, of course, but that wasn't even a proper part of the song) start with an E. I wonder if that was on purpose or a lucky accident...

'And you never know when you'll get a cameo...' — If anyone in the HSM franchise knows anything about making the most of a cameo, it's Lucas. I'm referring to his post-credits scene in Sharpay's Fabulous Adventure, of course. That is one of my absolute favourite scenes in the entire movie. Well, that and The Rest of My Life. I very unironically love that number.

Another thing on the list of things I very unironically love — the transitions both into and out of this scene. I just think they're neat.

Have I mentioned before how much I love it that Carlos' response every time someone asks where he has to be is 'Broadway'... it just reminds me a lot of Seb's 'Friendship!' — that's some soulmate stuff right there, if you ask me.

'I just... almost did something really stupid' — Yes, Nini, yes it was very stupid. And you're going to do it anyway. You wouldn't if I had any say in this, but I don't and so here we are. In a world where Rini are a romantic thing, Redlyn get 5 minutes of screentime in s1 and two major moments demoted to post-credits scenes, Seblos haven't even properly discussed their issues, and Portwell didn't even kiss on screen. I lowkey hate it here. Still, I feel like things are going in the right direction. If we get a season 3, that is — and we better be getting it, or I will riot and I know I won't be the only one.

No but... just imagine if Kourtney hadn't called YAC for Nini, but for herself. There's so much potential there... and I think Kourtney and Ashlyn deserved that spot every bit as much as Nini did, and then some. I said what I said.

Well, this was 1x8. This post is already way too long, plus I want to do a double feature of the last two whenever I get to rewatching them, so I'm ending this here. It was just as much of a journey as I remembered it being, and not nearly as negative as I had the feeling it would be. I absolutely loved it, you know. And with good reason too.

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts: the rewatch #ricky bowen #nini salazar-roberts #ej caswell #ashlyn moon caswell #big red redonovich #carlos rodriguez #seb matthew-smith #kourtney greene #hsmtmts miss jenn #redlyn

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nobody-knose--archive · 3 years

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i’ve been aching to commentate spirit phone’s commentary for ages. glad i finally got around to it, this was an ejoyable experience. liveblog below the cut

-i'm like half certain i've heard this commentary before. maybe not the whole way through & it was probably actual years ago

-nice hearing stuff like this. in-depth personal view of the album-making process. makes it seem like more of a real thing i could do myself someday

-neil cicierega real person momence

-i could probably go real in depth about neil cicierega/tally hall parallels specifically concerning like. the arc of their musical careers. but i won't, here

-wild how i legitimately don't care much about micheal jackson

-didnt we get a bunch of spirit phone stems from the needlejuice release/his patreon? we could probably hear the funny track he speaks of here in that

-i love hearing musical artists, especially neil cicierega, talking about the meanings of their songs. like, not only has this song been claimed to hell & back by the tumblr gays, but with later ones i just can't see where he gets these ideas from. also, claiming there's any one meaning or plot to a song just seems silly to me

-shoutout to neil reusing a midi from like, 1998, that he made at 12 years old, whose entire melody was reused for the main verses of everybody loves raymond. loved finding that out on my own 2 years ago. now it's common trivia in this fandom. not bad times

-it'd be neat if neil did individual trans tracks here like he did with view monstel, those things are half of why i consider it my favorite album

-it's a lot easier to ignore the creator's intended meaning behind a song when he can't even remember it. thanks neil

-seesaw effect

-and there's my joke all but 1 of my followers wont get. moving on

-what kinds of movie theater lobbies has neil been to where there are arcade machines. i mean im not one to talk but that does sound rather strange

-why do songs' titles even need to be taken from the lyrics. ive never seen that as any sort of requisite. it's like titling any form of prose you can just give it whatever name ya like

-"this part sounds pretty cool right"

-is neil's vocal range only mildly better than mine? with training i could change that

-oh i haven't processed any of the last 25 seconds hold on

-god. a shit ton of vocal modification in this song. it's like neil returned to his roots but with quality this time

-i, as an ace/aro, have never related more to an allohet guy in my life. what is the point of eyes!

-professional humming/whistling takes skill. it's different from the recreational or casual stuff. i'd know

-there's a name for the way sound (especially music) gets distorted when moving past you and i can't remember it but it's probably what neil's referring to here in the way he recorded the intro

(- update: it's the doppler effect no need to tell me cas already did)

-as someone who hasnt seen the rugrats or take me there by blackstreet i'll just say it sounded like a bouncy music box melody. nice to hear a song that messes with the typical scales though. lydian & diatonic.

-that's a rather specific thing to be glad about, but given what he talked about in his last full audio commentary about the jew harp i suppose i'm not surprised

-i know that tmbg song now. listened to it & saw the music video too. yep they're different alright

-where the hell does neil get all these instrumence from anyway

-huh. hadnt heard this part of the commentary before making my oc concerning this song but i like to hear neil's approval concerning part of my interpretation

-i love how ive heard a billion different tellings of this mellified man story from lem dem fans talking about this song and neil's is by far the wildest

-good god that does only make it worse neil

-i love making liveblogs of lemon demon albums. with the fullerenes or tally hall i cant name a specific dude to take out my woes on generally but with lemon demon i can just say neil all the time. i like being on a casual first name basis with this dude ive never interacted with once ever

-is sweet bod the one other than cabinet man with a demo in the bonus tracks? i forget

-holy shit the boston molasses disaster someone call up soapy if it doesnt already know, it'd love this

-two thousand nine. god i miss the fiddle solo. the ver with it is truly the best one

-he pronounces it jeff? i've always read it as gef with a hard g. that's what i get for knowing words that are never spoken aloud

-that's a fun meta interpretation of this ghost story that's over a century old. i like that

-i've noticed neil generally does the same synths across a whole album. it's especially more clear in the earlier ones, and does mean i occasionally mix up songs between clown circus & live from the haunted candle shop

-ah! ancient aliens! my least favorite track on this album. i cant even claim to have the least interest in a popular one i've just generally not liked this one much from the beginning. so im curious to see what neil's got to say, i think ive been in ~new commentary zone for a while now

-anyway. newest update on the loolin not realizing a song's funky time signature front: i think this one's in 6/4. or at least switches a lot between time signatures. granted i dont listen to it very often for the reasons stated above

-see the way neil describes it. eldritch horror upon being visited by the unknown at a time when humanity'd hadn't even yet had a chance to imagine such a thing occurring. should be right up my alley. but the sound itself & many of the lyrics simply turn me away.

-must i specify i don't dislike it? spirit phone is neil's best album it not being my favorite doesn't mean i think it's bad yadda yadda nobody should be surprised by this it's not like anyone in these fandoms reads my liveblogs <3

-granted i think this is. the first bit of spirit phone content i've made on my blog ever. so who knows things can change <3

-the transitions in spirit phone are much less view-monster transition tracks & more extended outros. view-monster's were a bit more intro than outro sure but they also seemed directed upon making a 2-way rather than 1-way bridge between tracks. or something like that

-.............soft fuzzy man is an incredible nickname for a cat. i'd steal that if i werent afraid of introducing my relatives to lemon demon

-jirls

-an underlying metaphor is good enough. the literal side of the lyrics are fun. nothing but agreement here neil my good man

-the transition into as your father i expressly forbid it from soft fuzzy man is the best one in this album

-buddy you ask if a musical idea has been used before odds are the answer is yes in this day & age the question is has it been used in the way you're using it. like sure this soul jazz record from the 60s that was sold out in kansas stores for a week used this bassline that youve found yourself copying. but seeing as youre using it in some angsty garage rock ballad type tune does anybody actually care

-doesn't everybody like to say things in an unhinged manner from time to time

-imagine having a guitar dad, i say, with my dad being a folk accordion/fiddle dad, which is infinitely worse in every way

-i think he was in an actual folk band at some point. idk the 90s were weird

-iron my life?

-m-more intimate? there are a lot of ways i'd describe this song but intimate isn't one of them. granted as your father is negatively intimate so from there i guess you've got nowhere to go but up

-...still glad to see his interpretation kinda supports my oc at least

-the way he says characters in songs shouldn't worry about death really strongly makes me think this is some sort of. thematic continuation of stuck from dinosaurchestra, even if there's no real death in there. interesting. would also mean that the dad from these past 2 songs is named carlos betty (no last name)

-i literally never assumed this was a flute solo. piccolo at best. it's pretty clearly a recorder

-my mom plays the recorder. i wonder if she can play recorder better than neil cicierega

-we can throw a party in honor of the crushing weight of responsibility! i simply won't be the one throwing it because i have enough on my plate already <3

-what the hell does "a sense of intent" mean

-i've never heard rush before however i disagree with neil's understanding of 6/4. 6/4 is meant to have emphasis (onbeat or another term i can't remember) on the 1st & 4th beat of every measure, which is greatly different from a measure of 4/4 then a measure of 2/4. it's why his 5/4 always sounds weird, because while it's recognizable in sequences of 10/4, it's more 2 measures of 4/4 with one of 2/4 tacked on the end. that's also how it's different from 3/4. i don't know much music theory but what i do understand i will fight to the death about

-"canonized" that's. a very interesting term to use when referring to a former president

-from now on i will interpret every love song directed at some unseen "you" to be inviting me to marry them for tax purposes. thanks neil for being an aromantic icon

-ah hell yes hell yes man-made object is my favorite goddam song on this album

-short & sweet & good damn vibes. neil's thoughts on it all are only making it better

-wild how he uses very few vocal effects for a song that he clearly is straining his vocal range for. go off neil

-the qualifier of man-made is a wonderful thing. oldest or biggest thing? oldest or biggest man-made thing? what a incredibly important specification. a world of possibilities lie between the two. oh i love it

-just gets me thinking yknow! what we consider weird/impressive in another species, in our own species- what kind of equivalent to that would there be from an outsider looking in? are there alien versions of the significances we place upon things, that we could never imagine? the limits of the human imagination mean we could never conceive of something else in the world that isn't, in some way great or small, just like us- and are we wrong for thinking that? such a juicy topic i wish there were a name for it because it's kinda hard to explain concisely

-spiral of ants. my second favorite song from this album, in fact. a good one to experience

-the vocals are just another instrument. they really truly are. i wasn't going into this commentary expecting to feel solidarity for neil cicierega in this chili's tonight on more than one occasion but here i am.

-like, his whole stance on interpreting songs is something i agree with almost entirely. you can take it at face value, you can dig to their very depths, you can listen to songs without caring what the lyrics mean whatsoever, and those are all fun. & yeah while any of these people can be annoying as one of the types who enjoys gliding on the surface more than anything i find those who dedicate themselves to figuring out the whole meaning of a song over anything else to be both slightly scary & slightly annoying <3 keep up the good work

-i want to make songs for my siblings the way neil makes songs for his sibling(s)

-spinch

-neil really shouldn't be allowed to be this funny like this whole album youre thinking golly! he's just a normal man this neil cicierega! and then he starts listing the cat hacks jokes & you remember he's had ridiculously consistent viral success with all his humorous endeavors and holy shit it's neil cicierega in action talking about his music. god bless you neil

-you're welcome, no problem, my pleasure. good eveternoon, radio audience!

#lemon demon #spirit phone #pretty sure this is my first bit of spirit phone content on my blog. hi greater lem dem fandom nice to see y'all. go listen to deporitaz #loolin liveblogs #i enjoyed this less for the content the commentary contained & more for the way i handled it. more pleasant than some times ive had #tis i #i havent listened to spirit phone in general in ages. i know why. so this was nice #to the world and back again

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ceruleanmusings · 3 years

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mickames ship notes

I just need to put this somewhere so I can stop turning it over in my head. This is me thinking out loud so it does end up long but I also want a place to put this so I can reference it whenever I write more for them in the future. (Keep in mind this is just the version of James I see; others might have a different view on him and that’s okay!)

At a glance, James and Mickey shouldn’t work. They’re complete opposites, he enjoys the spotlight, thrives when getting attention, is vain and self-centered and doesn’t hesitate to put his wants and needs first. She prefers the background, doesn’t like too much attention, and thinks about others and their needs more than her own. But that’s what makes them work as well, they fill each other’s gaps.

James teaches her that, sometimes, it’s best to put yourself first and to go after what you want and need; there’s nothing wrong with making yourself a priority. She can take up space and demand respect and she won’t burst into flames for it. Mickey teaches him that, sometimes, you learn more about those you care about and the world by sitting back, observing, and letting others take the spotlight every once in a while; that being more empathetic and less self absorbed also serves you in a fulfilling way.

They meet at the Palm Woods (if I were to stick this anywhere in canon, it’d be near the tail end of season 2 I think. BTQuads would replace BTGirl Group. This is after retconning and fixing some things in BTQ considering I wrote that 11 years ago; if I rewrote it now I’d do it a little differently. Or maybe it would be somewhere near the beginning of the season as it’s own “episode”. I’m still figuring this out.) He flirts and she resists which comes across as him being a nuisance and her being a doormat; she doesn’t indulge but she doesn’t stop it either (hello?? a cute guy flirting and noticing her? she wasn’t going to let that go right away, even if she is being selfish about it and leading him on to a degree). And since he doesn’t have a stop sign in his face, he keeps toeing the line. Yeah, there are other girls he could be trying to win their favor, and he could do so easily, but there’s something about her not falling for it that makes him try harder.

She’s not perfect. She starts off with a very biased/judgy way of thinking of him: he’s nothing more than a pretty face, a good voice, and a skirt chaser. So the moments he is a nice, sweet, and thoughtful guy she brushes off like it’s a fluke. It takes her friends pointing out to her she’s kind of being a bitch to see how she acts towards him, first taking more offense to the accusation than the what they’re actually saying. She is justified, however, because the only time he talks to her, really, is when he’s hitting on her. She allows it to continue because she has a hard time saying no and, honestly from the beginning, she thinks it’s a joke. Because why would someone so out of her league be into her? Plus, it’s not like it will last. But it does. Eventually she reaches her wits end and tears him a new one, basically stating that he knows nothing about her and he needs to knock it off.

It works and he backs off. At first he changes out of spite. (You say I know nothing about you? Fine! I’ll learn everything I can and show you that I do! So there!) He sits back and he watches her rituals and habits and he listens, learning about her likes and dislikes. He even keeps a list of them; much like his James’ Things to Do B-4 20 List. Only this one is filled with her hobbies and interests and disinterest and the smallest thing he could think of that involves her opinion. Through keeping the list he really does end up learning more about her and having more things to talk to her about where they, eventually (and with Carlos as a tether), become friends and he sees her as a person and not a prize to be won.

It also helps with their paths crossing a lot due to being part of his backing band and going along with the schemes he and his friends get themselves involved in on a daily basis. Her loving hockey always wins her points in his book (though she prefers to watch rather than play.) They can hang out and chill and talk to each other without expecting something out of it. (And he flirts sometimes, he can’t just turn it off, but that doesn’t make his comments about liking her hair or her looking gorgeous in a dress any less honest.) At that point it’s just James being James and who was she to make him change? He takes her as she is, quiet, hesitant, shy, over-thinker and all, she can take him for all his faults too.

It’s that line of thought which brings them to the point where they eventually feel safe with one another to open up and be vulnerable about their insecurities, which end up being similar in sentiment: they both want someone to put them first. James doesn’t have the best relationships with his parents, his mom was absent emotionally and his dad splits his time chasing after his washed up rockstar dreams and keeping his younger wife happy. They didn’t give him attention so he decided to give it to himself; he pumps himself up, dresses well, overstates his talents (though he can back it up), and makes himself a priority, No one else did so why not himself? But he’s tired and, for once, he wouldn’t mind someone else putting in the effort. Being a quadruplet, Mickey is used to sharing: space, attention, gifts, classes, a birthday, anything and everything. She comes as a set. And while she shies away from unwanted attention, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want things to be about her sometimes. She doesn’t know how to ask for it, instead curling in on herself, falling in line, and boosting others and their wants and needs and dreams thinking, one day, someone will do the same for her. There’s an odd sort of loneliness she feels being a quad and not knowing how to have an outside identity, wanting that attention but not feeling it’s right to want it. So she sits back and goes with the flow; it’s all she’s ever known.

It’s when Mickey sees James as the nice, driven, focused, sweet, funny, loyal, talented, understanding, and accepting guy he is her feelings for him change. She has a hard time grappling with them, not sure if she likes him or the undivided attention he gives her. Also, she has a habit of sabotaging good things for herself (a fact her sisters and aunt Kelly point out a lot). James is out of her league, why would she want to let him in if he’s only going to end up realizing the same thing and move onto the next thing? (On the other end, James thinks she’s out of his league; she’s smart, caring, funny, creative, supportive, selfless, thoughtful, and a badass on the bass.) She blinds herself to the fact that, ever since he met her, he’s never moved on.

Not even when he chased after Lucy. Lucy was a distraction to him not wanting to confront something he doesn’t know how to handle: actual feelings. Lucy always turned him down; he expected it, he knew the outcome, it was easy and safe. He couldn’t get hurt by a friend he wasn’t entirely invested in (I want to be clear here they are friends, unlike the show I have reasons as to why Lucy is friends with them and is involved more than just to be a love interest. My wording is directed that he’s not entirely invested in chasing after her, it being a front and him slipping into what he knows more than anything). He could get hurt by Mickey. She’s his best friend (well one of them, Carlos would hate to be bumped from his best bud ranking) and, if things went wrong, their friendship could get ruined too. He couldn’t risk that.

So they’re wishy-washy, coming closer and backing away at the last minute, admiring one another from afar, pretending their gazes aren’t being held a little too long or their smiles shine a little brighter in one another’s company. James is on uneven ground for the first time in his life; he always knows the right thing to say, never gets nervous, and can hold his own but Mickey can bowl him over. And while it sends him spiraling he also dips his toe into the uncharted waters. Eventually he gets fed up with her going back and forth and lays it all on the line, letting his feelings out, very plainly, and puts the ball in her court. Maybe she actually likes him, maybe she doesn’t. But she does and it takes her a little longer to accept she does, that she’s allowed to have someone who ticks off all her boxes, that she’s allowed to be happy. So she sends a plant to share her feelings instead; words come easier to her on paper than spoken aloud. And he’s shocked at first; while he hoped she felt the same way a larger part of him had convinced himself he was chasing after a lost cause. But they’re finally on the same page and he doesn’t want to mess it up.

In fact, he tries a little too hard to be the perfect boyfriend. Overeager as he his, he pulls out her chairs only for her to fall flat to the ground when he does so too hard, he spills drinks he bought on her, he tries to make her cookies only for them to be rock-solid hockey pucks that nearly break her teeth (he probably should have learned baking soda can’t be substituted with actual soda), he tries to hold open the door for her only to hit her in the face, he tries to buy her flowers only to wind up being allergic to them. It’s his first real relationship (the three days with Selana don’t count), he has to be the best at it. He’s always the best. To save herself form more bodily harm, Mickey ends up snapping him out of it and they both realize they’re scared of what it means to be with someone else and be in a relationship (it’s her first relationship too) and be committed so they agree that it would be easier to be scared together.

As eager as James is, he lets Mickey take the lead. So she’s the one to kiss him first, she’s the one to initiate holding hands and hugging and cuddling, she’s usually the first to lean into him if she needs grounding or reassurance; forehead touching and nuzzling are her go-tos. If it were up to him he’d pack on the PDA any chance he could get; she’d rather keep the bigger displays behind closed doors.

They view their separate loves, music and cooking, similarly: the end result, the way music or food brings people together and makes memories that last and touches people, as a driving force in putting their all into their craft. Even if being a rockstar wasn’t her dream and even if he doesn’t cook, they understand that feeling of supplying for others and being an escape.

Their relationship isn’t free from its bumps. James is more open with his words and intentions so he communicates well but Mickey is more guarded on that front; she tends to put forth her effort into her actions and showing how she cares so he is taken care of. Sometimes he takes advantage of it but he learns fast to tell her how much he appreciate her while she learns to verbally communicate her feelings better. Sometimes she doesn’t mind he’s self-absorbed, he can talk about himself all he wants while she can sit back and listen. But there are other moments she wants to pull her hair out because it wouldn’t kill him to ask her how she’s doing. Sometimes he wants her to be more firm, to be confident and make a choice rather than let others take the lead for her; other times he basks in her relying on him to navigate certain situations.

They date for a while, part ways, and then get back together in the future after learning more about themselves and what they want in a partner. In the end, opposites attract hit them hard and, like opposing poles on a magnet, will always bring them back to each other. (Plus, as James points out, Mickey Diamond has a nice rockstar ring to it. Pun intended.)

#mickames #mickey x james #again this is mostly for me but if anyone has any thoughts i wouldn't mind talking about them #glad i can finally dump this from my brain #i may write all this into a fic one day. it'd be a slow burn for sure #big time rush oc #james diamond #mickey mason

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hoardcloneheadcanons · 3 years

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The Season 1 Villain: Mr. Blackwood

Summary [ A time travelling Martin Blackwood accidentally bullies his past counterpart and a young Jonathan Sims into getting together in order to gang-up on him]

Yesterday Is Here is a time-travel fix-it fic of the Magnus Archives by CirrusGrey found on AO3 that I highly recommend. It helps emotionally cope with the tragedy of the actual series and it’s very well written.

I have my own ideas on what would happen in the fic if the time travel went slightly different and Martin showed up first, which now lives rent-free in my head as an AU to an AU. I’m hoping by writing it down I can free myself of it’s grip over me. If you don’t want spoilers for the fic, or seasons 1-4 of the Magnus Archives, stop here.

In the fic Jon and Martin from the Archives have been married and survived the apocalypse together. Both use the Helen’s doors to travel back in time to season 1 of the Magnus Archives and prevent most of the tragedies from happening. Jon uses his spooky Archivist Powers to threaten Elias, extorting him for money and preventing the appocolypse. And both Martin and Jon dispose of the main villains of season 1 and 2.

But some shenanigans happened in Helen’s doors that make it so Jon shows up first and Martin doesn’t show up until two months later. Here’s my idea of what would happen if those positons got reversed.

-The Archival Staff call Future Martin Mr. Blackwood to differentiate him from their present-day Martin. I will also be doing so, from here on out.

-Jon is, of course, skeptical, and keeps insisting that this must be some long lost brother of Martin’s who is trying to scam them (Or even his father, despite Mr. Blackwood not looking much older than Martin). Mr. Blackwood proceeds to list small intimate details about each of them (how they take their tea, things that happened their last birthday. Stuff that would be very essentially Martin to know) but also sounds very impatient the entire time. He does not have time for Jon’s feigned skepticism and denial and does not hide it.

-It becomes clear very quickly to the Archival staff that Mr. Blackwood is a lot meaner than Martin. He doesn’t make tea for people unless he’s trying to corner them to talk to them, He’s willing to kill spiders rather than release them. Murder doesn’t seem that out of the question for him. And while both Martin and Blackwood are big people, Matrin Hunches and keeps his voice soft and tries to seem smaller. Blackwood does none of that and will push his way through people and/or loom sometimes.

-As a result Tim starts jokingly referring to him as the Anti-Martin. When Mr. Blackwood starts mentioning that there should be a Mr. Sims showing up, Tim insists on making a list of traits that he bets Mr. Sims will have based on him being an “Anti-Jon”. The traits include: Wearing only bright colors, not-giving a fig about archive policy, believing all the statements (even the dumb ones), smiling, being nice to Martin, being social and (on a day where Jon was being particularly annoying) being cool.

-A few of them are totally off the mark, but many of them are actually frighteningly close to the truth.

-He ropes Sasha into it too. They decide together that Sims and Blackwood have a one-sided relationship where Sims is absolutely besotted and Blackwood either barely tollerates him or is seducing him for his Head Archivist pay.

(It’s funny because Jon isn’t making much more than any of the Archival Staff)

-Blackwood is fairly nice to Sasha who is reasonable and listens to relevant threats. Tim appreciates him for confirming and advancing the research he’s done on Robert Smirke and the Circus. But Martin and Jon hate him. He bullies them both in different ways.

-Blackwood keeps trying to convince his younger self to grow a spine, make some boundaries. He keeps trying to tell him that he can’t fix things by being nice to everyone. Martin does not appreciate it.

-Mr. Blackwood will occasionally talk like Martin’s Mum and it makes it hurt more. Not exact sentiments or sentiments but familiar phrasing and tones. Blackwood doesn’t know he’s doing it.

-Meanwhile Blackwood takes away all the “real” statements from Jon (the ones that won’t record on the computer) and spreading them out amongst the archive staff. He insists that reading them will turn Jon into an eldritch creature that feeds on human trauma and gives people nightmares. Jon thinks this is a load of absolute bull. (If you must read them, Jon, at least don’t read them outloud. Type them up or something. Don’t be stupid.)

-Jon’s the type of person who needs to know and asks all the uncomfortable questions, so having someone take away the only real information bothers him. Even if Tim, Sasha and Martin have the information it still bothers him to not know.

-Jon is also really insecure about deserving his job, and desperately trying to prove himself. So having a man burst in and tell him how to do his job stings.

-Mr. Blackwood also isn’t delicate when pointing out Jon’s skepticism is dumb. He says all the things Martin thinks but is too polite to say.

(”I’m sure there’s a very natural reason for Carlos Vittery to be wrapped up in spider webs upon his death”

“Are you serious? Jon, if you keep up this ridiculous denial you’re going to walk yourself right into something’s mouth just to prove a point. Or worse, send someone else into it. And you of all people should know supernatural spiders are dangerous.

“What do you mean, I of all people?”

“I think you know what I mean, Jon.”)

-Jon and Martin actually end up hanging out because they bond over their mutual dislike of Mr. Blackwood.

-Jon defends Martin agains Mr. Blackwood and vice-versa.

-The first time it happens, it’s Jon defending Martin and Mr. Blackwood acts surprised.

-(I don’t know why we should trust you. Even if all this supernatural nonsense is true there’s no reason we should take you’re word on how it works! You barge into the archives telling everyone what to do, fear mongering with tales of secret societies trying to cause the apocalypse, you upset Martin all the time “for his own good, you-”

“-wait, wait wait- Martin?” “When did you start caring about Martin?”

“What do you mean? He’s one of my archival assistants, of course I care about him.”

“Jon, you bully him more often than I do.”

“I-No I don’t.”

“You make it very clear what you think of his work and competence, Jon. And you send him to all the worst assignments. He let’s it happen because he knows he’s not the best at research, and he knows you’re under pressure from Elias, and he really tries not to take it personally, but it hurts him Jon. It builds up and it hurts him, even if he never says it does. So yes, forgive me if I think you’re being a bit hypocritical.”)

-Jon apologizes to Martin after that and really tries to be nicer because he does not like the idea that he’s as bad as Mr. Blackwood. He watches what he says around Martin a lot more closely after that, and keeps an eye on Martin’s reactions.

-Jon will tell Martin that he thinks he’s nothing he’s like Mr. Blackwood. He doesn’t see how they could be the same person. Martin is so caring, and helpful, and kind, and warm, and Blackwood isn’t. Jon is so wrapped up in his frustration that he does not know Martin is blushing as he says this. Martin suddenly has to go make a cup of tea. Right then.

-The next time it’s Martin defending Jon against Blackwood. Blackwood is happy that Martin is starting to assert himself but is exasperated that it’s only occuring because of his own failed attempts to get the archive staff to trust him. He suddenly wants his own Jon to come back so badly so he can tell him how ridiculous this entire situation is. So they can laugh together at how Blackwood advanced their younger counterparts’ relationship progress by at least 3 years by accidentally becoming the villain of their story, so Jon can tease him about it.

-The third time it’s Jon once again defending Martin, saying that Blackwood went too far, that he sounds like Martin’s mother and he made him cry. Mr. Blackwood realizes that, yeah he does absolutely sound like his mum and he has to leave and reasses his actions. He hadn’t realized he was picking up her specific way of critisizing-well-himself. It’s just how he talked to himself in his own head- which- well- which wasn’t great.

-Jon is so surprised that he managed to actually get one-up on Mr. Blackwood that he takes everyone out for drinks and insists on paying. Which is a nice distraction for Martin.

-It also, Blackwood notices, means Jon is getting closer to his archive staff and hanging out with them. It gives him a bittersweet hapiness. He’s so happy that they’re all closer in this timeline, that he managed to force Jon into socializing and Martin and Jon to get close. But he realizes he did it by being the outsider and interloper that they’re defending against, and he’s not quite part of this new group of the archive staff. He’s happy for them, just lonely. Even Sasha and Tim, who he gets along with more than Jon or Martin, are wary to trust him. He’s not telling them everything. He has to fight against Elias without the aid of spooky Eye powers and he’s unsure of when Elias is listening, so he’s not mentioning everything. He’s not telling them who killed Gertrude Robinson. He’s being evasive on the reasons he does not trust Elias, and about what power succeded at causing the apocalypse.

-As the days go by with no sign of His Jon/ Mr. Sim’s coming back his old connection to The Lonely intensifies and he becomes able to turn invisible and go by unnoticed again. The archive staff notice that he becomes spookier and sadder and- slightly less human and it decreases their trust in him.

[Check My Blog for a Part 2. I am writing this in one sitting, but this particular document has become long enough.]

#The Magnus Archives #Yesterday is Here #Fanfiction #Archive of Our Own #Martin Came First AU #Mr. Blackwood AU #weaponizing my own writer's block

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sunshinestrand · 3 years

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Paaaaiiiiige!! 🤗

🖊 📊🧠💭

💋: What are your top 5 favorite tropes to write?

💋: Which of your fics (3-5) best represent your style/brand as a writer?

Sonia!! Thank you, my love!! 💛💛 (This got very long so we're going to throw it under a read more lmao)

📊 Current number of WIPs

I think we discovered last night that I have at least 20, but it's up to 22 now just because I got two new ideas this morning and wrote them a bit just to get the thoughts out of my head.

🧠 What’s an idea you have that you can’t quite call a WIP yet?

I have an idea based on the film life as we know it. For those who don't know the plot of it, it's basically about two people that get set up by their friends who are married. But they end up severely disliking each other by the end of it. Fast forward and they find themselves in custody of their god daughter and they have to move in with one another to help raise her. I just watched it the other day and thought it'd be the perfect enemies-to-lovers fic for Carlos and TK. So, it's been around in my head and I wrote the idea down but nothing has been done yet.

💭 What is a headcanon you have about your own work?

Carlos definitely cooks as a love language but he bakes whenever he is nervous or anxious. With cooking he feels as though he's more free to throw in whatever he likes and change around the recipes to make them his own but with baking, it is so precise and keeps him focused that it usually helps take his mind off of things.

💋: What are your top 5 favorite tropes to write? (In no particular order really)

Coffee Shop AUs

Fluff

Hurt/Comfort

Friends-to-lovers

Mutual Pining

💋: Which of your fics (3-5) best represent your style/brand as a writer?

Rose Petals

No Distance Could Ever Tear Us Apart

The Best Nights

You're Still The One I Want For Life

When The Sky Falls Down

Basically I think just a whole bunch of fluff, comfort, and love comes from these fics and I think that's what I most associate myself with. The style is quite descriptive I think in all of them or maybe more narrative. I'm not really sure. But there is a nice balance between all of them. My favourite styles of writing are those two so I always try very hard to fulfill them.

🖊 Post a snippet from a current WIP.

From the summer AU (which by the time that it gets posted, it will no longer be summer, but we can very much ignore that):

“Do you know him well?” TK asks.

“Yeah, he and his wife Grace have been good friends of our family for a few years now. They’re good people to have watching your back, that’s for sure. If you and your dad move down here, they’ll be there for you.”

“Oh, I won’t be moving here.” TK whispers. He had been surely thinking about it, but then he realised that there would be nothing keeping him here. He could always visit his father but he knows he needs to go back and finish his degree in New York. “Just dad is. I’m due back in school in the fall.”

Things go silent then and TK tries to think of something to say but it’s as if their conversation dies off. After another moment, he clears his throat. “So, when do we get to checking to make sure the fence is good?”

Carlos chuckles, shaking his head. “We have been. Or at least I have been.”

“What? Really? Sorry. I guess I should have been helping.”

“Nah that’s okay. It’s nice to have company. Why don’t we stop and have something to eat? Mama makes some great sandwiches.” Carlos says before they come to a halt and Carlos dismounts. TK stares down at him for a moment before he goes to do the same. He’s not sure exactly what happens but his foot catches and soon he’s tumbling sideways. He closes his eyes, bracing the hit to the ground he’s about to get but instead he’s caught with a light oof escaping Carlos.

When TK opens his eyes, he sees that he’s in fact in Carlos’ arms and not on the ground at all. He looks up and into Carlos’ eyes, his stomach twisting into knots.

“Are you okay?” Carlos asks as they stare at one another.

“Yeah, um, thanks.”

“Well, we don’t want you breaking that arm again.”

“That’s true.” TK whispers and god, Carlos’ eyes are mesmerizing.

“Here.” Carlos says, putting TK back down onto his feet and making sure that he’s steady before stepping back. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. Totally fine. I think my foot just got stuck.”

#phew! sorry it took so long!#sonia tag #pragmaticoptimist34 #ask games #answered

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telli1206 · 3 years

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A Christmas To Remember (Ch.2)

And here’s Chapter 2 @vndooms and @descendantsgiftexchange! Sorry this is going to be a little long, hopefully I’ll be able to finish it in the next few days. I’m anticipating at least 3 more chapters 🤷‍♀️

Chapter 1

Chapter 2 - Tradition Time

Waking Carlos up early in the morning is never an easy task. So this time, Jay comes prepared.

“Wakey wakey, ‘Los!”

He’s loud, and Carlos grunts at the intrusion, burying his face into the pillow. But Jay leans in closer, holding the hot, steaming cup of coffee out to allow the rich scent to waft through the air. And then, he waits.

The light grumbles through the pillow stop almost immediately, and Carlos turns his head to face Jay, forcing one eye open. He inhales deeply, confirming the coffee smell before pushing off one arm to sit upright. Success. Coffee always works like a charm.

Jay suppresses a giggle, staring fondly at the lopsided pile of curls on Carlos’ head, his pillow-creased face and squinty eyes. If he’s ever seen anything more adorable than a barely awake Carlos, he can’t remember. Carlos reaches an arm out for the mug in his hands, grabbing and cupping it against his chest to steal its warmth. Jay dips in and kisses the tip of his nose, making Carlos giggle and finally force out a tiny smile.

“Thaaanks,” he tries to say but the word ends in a yawn. “It’s super early though, isn’t it?”

“It is…” Jay starts, hesitant. “But, the first holiday activity I have planned for us needs to start bright and early. Can you be ready in thirty minutes?”

Carlos puffs out a pout, knowing very well how deliciously distracting they are to Jay. But Jay is undeterred this time, shaking his head and cupping Carlos’ chin in his hands.

“It’ll be worth it, ok? I promise.” He kisses Carlos firmly, but holds him in place when he tries to chase Jay’s lips.

“We’ll have time for that later,” he teases, winking suggestively. Carlos blooms scarlet, turning away to quickly slide off the bed. He yelps when Jay slaps his ass lightly.

“Get going!”

Carlos sticks out his tongue, giggling and swatting at Jay when he pretends to bite at it. “Ok, ok. I’ll meet you downstairs,” he finally agrees, grabbing for a towel and clothes on his way to the bathroom.

-----

Jay narrowly misses the ceiling joist that juts out at the bottom of the stairs, even though he’s already banged his head on it once this morning. He’s so determined to avoid it again that he almost misses the conversation he’s walking into in the kitchen. He hears Evie’s high pitched coos just as he reaches the beam and ducks...too fast.

Stumbling over his feet, Jay spills curse words when his hip slams against the table before he’s able to stop himself. There’s an awkward silence, and he sucks in a breath as he looks around the table at the stunned faces. He barely registers a pair of small, soft hands at his waist until they’re gone. When he looks over, Jane is chewing on her lower lip, avoiding Jay’s eyes. Lonnie, on the other hand, is covering her mouth and fighting back a laugh, very unsuccessfully. When she finally bursts, Jay sneers at her, eyes glaring as she leans over to hug Jane from behind.

“Smooth, Jay! Maybe you should grab another cup of coffee before we go. You know, to wake up those senses a little?”

The table erupts in more laughter, but Jay just rolls his eyes and stalks to the coffee pot without saying a word. He really hates to admit it, but Lonnie’s not wrong about the coffee.

Evie, Doug, Jane and Lonnie easily fall back into conversation as Jay prepares his cup. Lonnie is still sharing her and Jane’s journey into dating, which Jay already pried out of Lonnie early this morning. There was no way he was going to wait another second to find out how it all went down.

Warmth bubbles inside him as he watches Lonnie’s face. When she’s talking about her and Jane together, she has an undeniable glow about her, lighting her from the inside out. She’s still hugging Jane from behind with a wide grin on her face, and Jane is tucked into her shoulder with her hands over Lonnie’s. She occasionally burrows her nose into Lonnie’s chin, smiling happily when she forces Lonnie to stop talking just to giggle and nudge her away.

“I’m so happy for you both,” Evie beams, gripping Doug’s hand on the table. He nods excitedly, watching the girls’ shy but happy smiles at their reaction.

There’s nothing that thrills Jay more than getting to see his friends be so happy. They’ve all had their fair share of problems in the last year, and the anxiety of their work, teams, and even relationships has weighed heavily on them. And Jay has both seen and heard the toll it’s taken on their ability to relax and enjoy life, himself included. He’s definitely been worried about the high expectations he may have for this Christmas break, but he can’t help but hope for the chance for all of them to really get to enjoy each other’s company. And this moment in the kitchen, laughing and smiling, listening to stories of budding relationships, has only stoked the flames for that hopefulness.

And that hope is high for Carlos especially. Well, for Carlos and himself. Even though they’ve done their best to see each other this year, it’s been difficult for sure. Particularly in the last few months. Jay is never happier than when he’s with Carlos, and now that they’ve worked so hard to get their relationship in such a good place, he’s sure that Carlos feels the same with him.

Unfortunately, Carlos spent more time working than being with Jay this year. And Jay can’t even be upset, since his practices, games, and travelling with his team for away games has been just as much to blame for that as Carlos’ work. But they’re here now, together, and Jay is determined to make the most of that. He’s going to make this Christmas break joyful for both of them.

And he already has plans to make it happen.

Carlos comes down the stairs then, showered and groomed but not looking much more awake. He smiles sleepily to everyone, happily patting Jane’s shoulder when he walks by while she’s still wrapped in Lonnie’s embrace.

“Alright!” Jay shouts, clapping loudly to get the attention of the entire kitchen. “We’re leaving in 10 minutes! Everyone dress as warmly and comfortably as possible and meet me at the car!”

He points with both thumbs towards the door and smiles through the pained groans, continuing to clap as everyone starts to get up.

“Trust me, you’re gonna love it!”

-----

“Jay, we better be close! I’m not doing this much longer. I’m about to rebel and run back to the car.”

Evie’s yelling is garbled through chattering teeth, but her message is still loud and clear. Carlos is trying to keep her as warm as possible under her arm while Jane walks beside them to chat and try to keep her distracted from the bitter cold.

Apparently, she’s not exactly loving what Jay had planned.

In front of them, Jay, Lonnie and Doug are walking together, huddling over a sunlight sensor that Doug had brought. He explained excitedly in the car how it would be able to help them detect the premium placing of trees that would get the most needed sunshine. As a result, the three of them had been so fixated on finding the best Christmas tree on the farm that Evie’s whines were falling on deaf ears for practically their entire tredge through the more than knee-deep snow.

Despite Evie’s obvious dislike of their activity, Lonnie couldn’t be happier. She had spent most of their excursion eagerly discussing Doug’s sensor with him, pointing out tree after tree while he pulled the calculations.

“Jay, I don’t know where you get your ideas...but I love this!” Lonnie croons.

She steals a glance back at Jane, smiling at the girl’s huge, awestruck eyes that are grazing over the gorgeousness of the snowy forest around them. She grins happily at the breathtaking view, blushing instantly when she catches Lonnie watching her.

“Jane’s so wide-eyed over this forest. I think you really scored me some brownie points with this one. And decorating trees is her favorite thing to do at Christmas!”

She slaps Jay hard on the back, and he has to bite on his lip to avoid screeching in pain.

“Glad I could help you out,” he grits, fighting away the urge to rub at his back. “It’s Carlos’ favorite too.”

“Ohhhh, I got it,” Lonnie says, winking at him. “You planned this to get in good with him, too?”

Jay smiles quietly, shaking his head

“Chill Lon, it’s not like that. I’m just trying to make sure our first Christmas together is memorable. That’s all.”

“Guys!” Doug interjects, jabbing his finger in the air. “I found it! It’s right here!”

A tall, almost ten foot balsam fir, branches full and wide and shaded the deepest pine green stands in a clearing, perched perfectly straight in the glittering snow. Jay’s grin breaks when he sees it, radiating joy at the sounds of oohs and claps from his friends.

“Finally!” Evie groans. “Can we get it to the car already?”

Carlos chuckles quietly next to her, and Jay notices his strained smile, not as bright and full as he was hoping for. He’s shivering slightly, curling into Evie. He looks almost as ready to go as his whiny friend.

“‘Los, hold the tree up with Doug while I cut it down? Then we can drag it back.”

Jay reaches out to Carlos, who nods and takes his hand, leaving Evie to lean on Jane.

Jay’s heart lightens when Carlos and Doug walk over to position themselves around the tree, holding it in position for Jay to start sawing. Seeing Carlos taking a bigger role in his Christmas tree outing is definitely reassuring.

Maybe Carlos will actually love this as much as Jay wants him to.

-----

When they arrive back at the castle, Jane and Evie are quick to grab all the wet coats, hats, gloves and boots, pulling them off and tossing them to the side as soon as everyone is inside where it’s warm.

“I’ll grab some blankets,” Evie insists. “Doug, can you start a fire before we worry about the tree?”

Doug nods curtly and shuffles hurriedly into the great room. Jay is walking closely behind him, gripping Carlos tightly and blowing onto his hands, doing whatever he can to transfer his body heat over to him.

“Feeling any better?” Jay asks, hopeful.

Carlos nods silently, but his body still shudders involuntarily. His cheeks and nose are flaming red, and the crystalized snow in his hair has melted into soppy wet curls that are dripping into his eyes.

Evie shoves a towel into Jay’s hand, offering a sad smile.

“Why don’t you both take the couch closest to the fire,” she asks, placing her hand on top of their conjoined ones. “Carlos, I’ll make you a hot chocolate, ok?”

Carlos smiles gratefully, squeezing at Evie’s hand with his thumb.

“Can I get a hot chocolate too, Eves?” Lonnie implores as she drops into a chair next to the couch.

“I’d love some too!” Jane adds cheerfully.

“Of course! But would you mind getting some mugs for me?” Evie asks on her way to the kitchen. “Oh! And marshmallows!”

“On it!” Lonnie pops up, snatching Jane’s hand and pulling her along.

“I’m so sorry, Carlos,” Jay sighs, adjusting the boy to lay in his lap. He pats at the wet curls with the towel, eventually folding it underneath Carlos’ head to catch the dampness. “I never thought that would happen. I’m so glad you’re not hurt.”

“Jay, it’s ok,” Carlos says, his tone calm. He reaches up to touch Jay’s cheek, with warm chocolate eyes that are soft and comforting. He strokes along Jay’s jaw, lips upturned with a hint of a smile. “How would you know which way that tree would fall? And I got more cold and wet than anything. The tree barely touched me.”

“Yeah, but that could’ve been so much worse…” Jay scoffs, but his voice comes out shaky, unsteady. Today was a dispiriting blow to their vacation. Carlos is fine, which is good, but he’s too tired and freezing to want to decorate, which is not.

Instead, they spend the rest of the night on the couch together, with Carlos resting in Jay’s lap, nursing his hot chocolate. Doug and Lonnie eventually set up the tree, and Jay and Carlos have an enjoyable time jokingly supervising while Doug, Evie, Jane and Lonnie decorate it.

“Jaaaaaane! I told you the bigger bulbs look better at the bottom! You’re making it look all weird and lopsided. Move that down!” Carlos teases, fighting to keep a straight face. He sets his mug on Jay’s knee so he can point forcefully downward. Jay chuckles as Jane rolls her eyes but keeps her smile, following Carlos’ direction. She bows dramatically at him once the ornament is in place.

“Anything else, my liege? I hope my obedience to your precise orders has pleased you.”

Carlos is very familiar with Jane's mocking tone, and he’s snickering under his breath before she’s even done talking. But he still plays along, casting a boring look on her and waving his hand lazily in the air.

“As well as can be expected, peasant. Now be gone, we’re done here.”

Jay’s mouth twitches as he watches Carlos joke with Jane. His boyfriend’s beautiful smile is undoubtedly infectious, especially when it’s glowing and happy, like it is right now.

Jay sneaks his fingers in carefully to hover just under Carlos’ underarms, being still as possible to avoid detection. Before Carlos can make another snarky remark, he hooks his fingers into his armpits, urging Carlos into a fit of giggles.

“Jayyyy, stop!” Carlos pleads, already breathless. He rocks back against Jay, almost dropping his mug in an attempt to loosen Jay’s grip. But the new position only allows for Jay to curl into Carlos’ neck, peppering kisses while the boy is gasping for air. When he finally lets go, Carlos turns to glare at him, but with lips upturned and a sparkle in his eye. Jay smiles when he sees his cheeks and ears flush scarlet again, this time for reasons other than the frigid temperatures outside.

“You’re such an ass sometimes,” he snarks, poking fingers into Jay’s chest.

Jay grabs his wrist and pulls him in so their noses are touching. “Sorry, did you say I have a nice ass? Why, thank you,” he taunts, smirking proudly.

“No! I...will you j-just...I mean…” Carlos flusters, pulling away from Jay and sliding off the couch. “You’re insufferable,” he sighs, a smile still tugging at his lips. He takes Jay’s hand to pull him up. “It’s late. Maybe we should go to bed, now that the tree’s done.”

Jay glances over at the Christmas tree, now softly glistening a warm white light, colorful lights sparkling off of it from the colorful ornaments. A white glittering snowflake perches on top in place of the usual star.

“Nice job, guys,” he muses, beaming happily at Jane and Lonnie, now nestled under a blanket on the chair beside them. Jane is half laying on top of Lonnie, head leaning against her shoulder as Lonnie gently plays with brown curls.

“Naturally,” Lonnie snides, eyes closed and half-smiling.

“Hey! I helped too!” Evie chimes in from her chair next to them, seated in Doug’s lap.

“It looks beautiful Evie,” Carlos jumps in, closing his fingers on Jay’s. “I love how Christmasy the castle looks. You and Doug did a great job.”

Evie grins wide, reaching her hand to Carlos for a loving squeeze. “Thanks, Carlos. I’m so glad you’re here. All of you,” she adds, with a look around the room.

She gets up from her spot on Doug’s lap, stretching her arms high as he gets up from behind her.

“I think we’re turning in, too. Good night.” She yawns lightly. “Hopefully tomorrow we’ll all be warmer and drier, whatever we do,” she hints, with a sideways glance to Jay.

He chuckles, meeting Evie’s stare. “No promises.”

Carlos groans as he follows behind Jay up the stairs. “Are we going to be freezing outside again? I only just got the feeling back in my fingers!”

“C’mon ‘Los, be a sport. You can’t expect us not to be outside just a little bit, to enjoy the beautiful snow?”

Carlos grumbles softly for a minute, and they get changed and ready for bed in mostly silence. Jay doesn’t want to press anything yet, Carlos is usually able to calm himself down after a few minutes of quiet thought. He does have to remind himself to breathe once or twice though. The thought of Carlos already shooting down the activities he had scheduled and detailed out so thoroughly before break makes him nervous. This was mainly for Carlos, after all.

They snuggle under the comforter together, Carlos remaining silent until he lets his head drop onto Jay’s shoulder. He buries his nose into Jay’s neck, inhaling deeply before letting out a loud, resigned sigh.

“As long as we’re not out there all day, I guess.” He concedes. Jay refrains from smiling, but tightens his hold around Carlos’ back. “As long as I’m with you.”

“That’s my ‘Los,” he coos playfully, feeling Carlos’ smile pressed against his skin. “We’ll have a great time, I promise.”

They will have a great time, Jay promises himself, as his mind starts to haze. Today was a little bump in the road, but his ideas were all to guarantee that it would Christmas break they would never forget.

Tomorrow will go more smoothly. He has no doubt.

#jaylos #jay x carlos #jay son of jafar #Carlos De Vil #evie grimhilde #doug son of dopey #jane fairy #li lonnie #jannie #devie #descendants #descendants gift exchange #vndooms

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akiameokami · 7 years

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Descendants 2

Descendants 2 had a lot of strong points but what this post is going to focus on is the character development in all of the characters.

Mal -

Obviously this movie focused a lot on Mal. She has grown a lot from the first movie but not in a healthy way. She developed some bad habits (spelling things and people) and developed some self image issues. This is a vast difference from our defiant and confident Mal from the first movie. While I don’t like the softer Mal that was shown, even closer to the end of the movie, I like that they explored these identity issues. By the end of the movie Mal has reconnected with her roots, her group and what made her want to change in the first place. I think it leaves us with a strong Mal with more room to grow in the right direction. Evie -

THIS IS MY GIRL! Gonna be honest, I disliked her in the first movie cause she was a ditz but my girl has come a lonngggg way. Evie grew from a superficial girl into an incredibly smart, talented and confident lady. She has a booming design business and doesn’t take crap from anyone, and right beside her for these changes was her supportive boyfriend Doug. I love the dynamic they have because they are equal to each other, she is the strong one but he will still defend her to princes, he manages her business finances and supports her dreams. BUT she is not a dainty princess and he know he isn’t her “prince” but he is her knight. I will defend this ship with. My. Life. Also, she has a big heart and is fighting for the kids that she grew up with. She is going to be a great advocate for the isle.

Jay -

Jay came a long way from his rule breaking enthusiastic lifestyle. He even obeys the smallest (and more sexist) of rules. We also saw that he became less aggressive than before. It was curious to see him as a responsible captain, and it was very fitting. Through out the rest of the movie we got to see him step up as a leader when Mal was lacking or when something needed to be said. Like when everyone was arguing he calmed them down and when Mal and Evie were chatting about her hair, he took initiative to bring them together. Jay is a born leader and is doing the one thing his father, jafar, could not. Being successful and compassionate in a leadership position. In the end when he forfeits his title as captain to Lonnie(?) so she can join the team that is him doing what is best for the team. She is strong and they needed her. He sacrificed his title for the greater good and I hope that doesn’t go unnoticed.

Carlos -

Our shy boy came a long way as well. Carlos is a more outspoken and confident person. I don’t think he lacked confidence in the first movie but I believe he was more introverted, now we see a more open Carlos who stands his ground. For example, kicking Chad out of his room repeatedly. He is dismissing a prince and gives 0 cares. We also have a slight mention of how he programmed his 3D printer to have really cool hacks and such which references his special abilities with computers. Jay can be physical, Evie can be smart, Mal can be sly and Carlos can hack. This is important. Finally we see our boy finally ask Jane out. Tbh, I didn’t see it. BUT I am not against it. The little dorks make each other happy and they make each other stronger, for Carlos he has someone to protect and for Jane she has someone who makes her feel beautiful which is not to be under-estimated.

Jane -

Jane grew in a few notable ways. She became a more involved and outspoken person than the shy, squeaky girl from the first movie. Now she is coordinating big projects and making sure the schedule is kept to. BUT she is still insecure about herself and you can tell, even the way she thought Carlos wanted to go to the party as friends until he spelled it out for her is a sign of the insecurity. Carlos makes her feel beautiful and while that isn’t the best place to get a confidence boost it is still a wonderful development for a young girls self esteem to have someone like that.

Duke -

well, he/she learned English so that is pretty impressive.

Ben -

Ben was a goodie two-shoes in the first movie. While he developed a wicked streak in the second one, he NEVER abandoned his big heart, which is what truly makes him King Ben. He was trying to tackle the life struggles of ruling a kingdom, dealing with an engagement, helping the project areas and maintaining his grades. We know he had to quit his different sports teams because he didn’t have time, the time he spent with Mal dwindled to near nothing and we know he was overwhelmed. He never complained though. Ben is a strong character who is taking care of business and while he might not be the first to throw a punch he is powerful with words before fists, and he doesn’t let his girlfriend fight all his battles for him. In the end when he still trying to seek peace, preventing what could have been a catastrophic battle, he was doing his duty as a king. He put his life on the line. His biggest development in this movie was seeing the other side of things and understanding just how abused these kids were. It is one thing to hear about it and think you know, but he never really knew. And Uma abusing his kindness and spelling him didn’t scare him away from continuing to seek justice for these kids. Ben is a good leader.

Lonnie -

In the first movie we never really got to explore her character. We saw that she wasn’t afraid of our lil’ villains and that she was still compassionate towards them but that was it. In this movie she is introduced as a threat. She is powerful and smart just like her mother, and she may be a love interest for Jay which is a perfect math. Talk about power couple, am I right?! I look forward to seeing more of her.

NEW CHARACTERS -

Uma -

You can see the results of abuse and bullying in her personality. All she is looking for is validation. This is the entire point of “Say my name”, she wants to be acknowledged. Her dwarf rats don’t really obey her, they still challenge her constantly and call her “Shrimpy”. While she has issues, there is room for change. I really hope Disney takes the opportunity to properly show kids/people how to interact with someone who comes from that abusive background.

Harry Hook -

Dang.. Uh, not gonna lie, I am so weak to this little out law. I was practically drooling over him, and when he tickled Ben my heart skipped a beat. I could ship that, I wont cause I will be lynched, but I could. I could see him being a bigger problem in the future. He has more of a cutthroat attitude than Uma and it is clear that him and Jay have bad blood. I hope we see much more of that delectable pirate. Gil - I bet you are one that gets to leave the isle. You don’t seem inherently bad, just kinda a dunce. Definitely room for improvement.

#descendants 2 #mal #evie #jay #carlos #jane #lonnie #uma #harry #disney #descendants

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evakuality · 3 years

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Mia, episode one

Okay, so as I have said numerous times and at length I haven’t seen Mia’s season before. I can’t stand Noora’s season so I’ve never wanted to watch this one. But I’m giving it a go because apparently it’s better than Noora’s. I already really really dislike Alex, though. He’s gross to the last moments of Hanna’s season so this may be an uphill battle getting me to like him. Plus, this is likely more a live reaction thing since I really have no idea what’s coming (except that it’s based on Noora’s things) We shall see. Anyway, let's get to this:

1. The opening bits just reminds me how ridiculous kissing looks like up close and from the outside. I don’t know what the point here is, but I’m vaguely uncomfortable rn, so if that’s the intention, then well done I guess! These tongues are really bothering me for some reason. Kiki really needs to have more self respect. I mean, I know she gets there, but this is not it, child. He’s really not great.

2. Seeing a shot of the girls: wow I missed these people so much!!!! (It’s been a couple of days, self. Chill out!!) Again, this is super pretty. The colours etc of this scene are lovely. More cool and cold than Hanna’s (I guess because of the time of year????) but lovely anyway. I do not like this swinging camera though; it’s making me queasy. I am also seriously side-eyeing the ‘kissing’ thing between Hanna and Mia. Like, I want to believe the creators were leaning into the gay vibes the two gave off last season, but... eh. It feels off a bit. Still. Mia’s gaze when she says ‘why not?’ when asked if they should all be lesbians is... well, I think a case can be made that Mia is into Hanna at least.

3. Oh. Hans my love. It seems this place is a mess and disgusting, but aww I do love him!! ‘I’m finished in a second’ - lol. Poor Mia, but she knew he had a visitor and she pushed her way in anyway. She deserved to cop what she saw. But she’s right of course. If they keep doing the gross clean ups for him, he really will never learn. I love Hans, but ‘tomorrow’ is waaaaaaay too late in a situation like the one they have here. He really needs to start thinking about other people!!

4. Aww I do love Mia and Hanna, and I’m glad we still have their friendship here. But is this sort of awkward not-quite-hug thing normal in Germany? None of these people look like they want to hug each other and are just doing it out of some sort of obligation. I get that between Hanna and the boys (there’s some history there after all), but Mia and them? Still, it’s nice to see these storylines continuing from season one so fluidly. Like there’s very little awkward ‘so let’s summarise the previous season in stilted dialogue for you’ and yet new viewers should be able to pick up on what’s going on through context and in the ways they have integrated and alluded to it all.

5. Alex comes on screen and I’m all ‘ugh’ and then sadly he says some stupid stuff. Mia is super pretty in this scene, though, and I’m a bit baffled about why they chose to film her in such a gorgeous way and then to put Alex in pale colours against a pale background. He doesn’t stand out at all. ‘He’s insecure, he just wants his parents’ attention’ - I kind of like that this is coming from Kiki because she sees him with rose-tinted glasses and so it can be seen as biased and excusing him for no reason. But since I assume this is heading in the direction that Noora’s did, where William didn’t ever have to change but we were expected to excuse him because we found out bits about his background, I’m also assuming that this is going to be a case of ‘Kiki, while being obsessive and too naïve about him in some ways, was right all along about him’ but I guess we’ll see. Also, he’s basically with Kiki and yet he’s still looking at Mia like that? He’s clearly not changed at all since last season.

6. I just realised we haven’t had any moments with Mia alone yet and we’re already more than halfway through the episode. I don’t know where I’m going with that but it’s just interesting. Hanna was so in her head and by herself so often, and it was really nice to be so tight in with her. It’s a bit odd to not have that anymore. I know that the two characters are different but I miss that getting-to-know-you stuff of the main character.

7. The stuff with Kiki is really good, though. I like the way her issues are being highlighted but in a way where it’s clear that her thought processes aren’t immediately obvious as toxic. It’s really good that what she says and does is logical and can be seen as ‘healthy’ and so dismantling that thought process is really important to teach. Now, I only saw Noora’s season once so I don’t know how much is coming from the original but even if this is coming through from there, I like the way it’s going.

8. Alex again. I do not like him. His attitude to girls is so shitty. I mean I know this is William’s fault but I still really really do not enjoy this type of guy. Again he’s shot in faded out and pale colours vs her darker and stronger ones. I don’t know what the point is, but I assume there is one. Maybe that she doesn’t really know him and so she’s only seeing a pale and washed out version of him.

9. Hanna, darling, I’m with you. I too hate volleyball and when I was at school our PE teachers were obsessed with it and we had to play it FAR too often for my liking. Also these looks they are giving each other are super gay. I don’t make the rules!

10. This Christmas scene is so super cute!! The colours etc are glorious. Hans’s little festoon of lights is adorable. This little hug with Carlos and Kiki; it’s nice to know where that’s going. She definitely deserves someone like him (someone who is a bit messy and has some faults but who grows and is under it all a loving friend, and above all is someone who genuinely cares about her). I know 50 billion people have pointed it out, but I love that Matteo is off to the side and away from the group and that although he’s sort of joining in, he’s not a full part of it. It’s nice the little hints of how his season is going to go.

11. Boo Alex. Blackmail isn’t cool. It wasn’t cool in Hanna’s season and it’s not cool now.

And we’re at the end. We still have very little time just with Mia, just this little moment right at the very very end. I miss that tight PoV and I hope we see more of it soon. I still really really dislike this type of love interest and this type of romance. Alex may not be as bad as William (mostly because he’s better acted) but he’s still a few million miles away from any guy I’d want anything to do with romantically. Let’s see if that changes as we go on.

#druck #og druck #mia - episode one #update on Alex feelings - I still really dislike him #stay away if you like this character #because you won't enjoy what I have to say about him

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thesforzagirl · 6 years

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Primum Sanguis Christmas Ficlet Part 4/4

Modern Verse for my WiP, Christmas-themed fluff, with cousins, tie clips, old vases and wine.

Beta-read by the wonderful @itslmdee, all remaining mistakes are mine.

“Nice suit.”

Girolamo turned when he heard his cousin’s voice. Giuliano was leaning carelessly against the doorframe, one arm above his head. He was sporting a black jacket that shone under the ceiling lights, with matching black pants and a black waistcoat. A red shirt and tie brought some colour to the outfit.

“You too,” Girolamo said, thinking with amusement that his own dark suit matched his cousin’s. “But I suppose you didn’t dress up for me?”

Giuliano snorted and put his arm back along his side as he entered the room and sat on the bed. “Well, no, since we aren’t celebrating your birthday nor Christmas…”

Girolamo shook his head in fond exasperation.

“Rosamunda made me,” Giuliano went on. “Though I’m convinced Cat said ‘casual’ and I don’t know since when that means wearing a three-piece suit, but here we are! I can see the appeal of a suit, though. People in nicely fitting clothes always look rather enticing. Wasn’t that something your father used to say?” He sat straighter at the edge of the bed, deepening his voice into a stern and commanding tone. “Nothing like a well-tailored suit to make a man,” he mocked.

“You sound nothing like him,” Girolamo said.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Girolamo offered his cousin a smile and turned back to the mirror, tugging at his tie. There was something not quite right about the knot.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have mentioned him,” Giuliano said when he noticed Girolamo’s fidgeting.

“It’s all right.”

He never managed to get his father out of his thoughts for long anyway. Francesco was always nagging at the back of his son’s mind, reminding Girolamo of how his life was nothing like what Francesco had decided for him. In retrospect, that was for the best. He was happy, even if some days were still hard to get through. But a life with nothing but happiness didn’t seem healthy nor possible.

The knot finally fell into place and Girolamo allowed himself a satisfied smile. He secured the tie clip and stepped away from the mirror. For all Cat’s remarks about how tie clips belonged to another age, Girolamo knew full well she liked to tap her fingernails on it. And he enjoyed the closeness her gesture allowed.

“I think it’s time we go down,” he said with one more tug, at his jacket this time, to make it fall just right around his chest.

Giuliano rose from the bed and smoothed his own jacket. “I can’t wait to stuff myself with food. As I have for two days already.”

“You didn’t avoid the family dinner?”

“My plan failed! I knew I should have sent you those desperate text messages; you could have dashed in chivalrously and saved me.”

“I wouldn’t have come within a five-hundred meters radius of my father, not even for you.”

Giuliano let out an offended noise. “You disappoint me, cousin. But it’s Christmas – even though we’re definitely not celebrating that tonight – so I’ll be benevolent and entertain you with the highlights of the evening.” He cleared his throat just as they entered the living room, and that made Rosamunda and Cat turn their heads.

Cat’s gaze ran quickly from Girolamo’s waist up to his face, stopping for a fleeting second on his tie. She was smiling when she met his eyes, her lips slightly parted, and Girolamo smiled in return, a tad wider when he noticed she was wearing her red dress. He came to sit by her side, his knee brushing against hers.

Rosamunda’s eyes widened when Giuliano sat next to her. “You and Cat match better than we do,” she realized, half amused and half surprised.

“We do?” asked Giuliano, looking down at his tie and shirt then up to Cat. “It would seem so.”

“Almost as if we did it on purpose,” Cat added with a soft laugh.

Giuliano winked, widening Cat’s smile. Girolamo rested his hand on Cat’s thigh.

“What about those highlights?” he asked. He could have guessed half of them, probably, but he was nevertheless curious. And maybe some examples would show Cat why he disliked family gatherings so much.

Giuliano settled more comfortably on the sofa, wrapping his arm around Rosamunda’s shoulders. “I tried to explain to Aunt Lucina why I had brought two people to the gathering. She was surprisingly understanding. She even said I was lucky to have two people to love me.”

“Should we be jealous that we’ve never met the others but your family has?” Cat asked, smiling kindly.

“Camilla is ill. And Ezio needed to recover from last night,” Rosamunda explained, nudging Giuliano’s side. “But I’m sure they would have loved to come.”

Cat nodded. Her own brother was stuck in bed, unable to come, and Girolamo knew she was upset about it, even if she couldn’t be angry with Carlo.

“All right, I must confess I mostly invited Ezio to see the look on our uncles’ faces,” Giuliano snickered. “But we had fun! It was worth it. As was my father and brother arguing about insulation materials and mortgage. Oh, and Rafaelle tripped and broke that very ugly and expensive vase Grandma always forbade us from touching.”

Girolamo smirked in remembrance. The family prized themselves with noble and ancient ancestry, even though the family wealth was actually rather new. That hadn’t stopped their grandmother from building up a collection of antiques and lying about how they had been in the family for a very long time. And of course, the children couldn’t come anywhere near those precious knick-knacks, in case they broke them. The vase Giuliano mentioned was a tall piece of ceramic, with two gilded handles, and a body depicting chubby cherubs soaring through the skies or lazing on ethereal pink clouds. As an adult, Girolamo judged it conventionally pretty, but as a child, art had been lost to him.

Cat’s hand rubbed against his thigh, bringing him back to the here and now. He took it in his, fingers stroking her skin.

The evening passed in bliss, between laughter and more quiet conversations, interspersed with food and wine. Giuliano had brought twelve bottles, to replace those he had drank without permission during his many evenings at the house, and they all laughed when Girolamo confessed he had bought his cousin some bottles as well, in hope he would stop helping himself.

As they stood on the doorstep, waving goodbye to Giuliano and Rosamunda as they climbed into their car and drove off in the night, Cat’s head resting on his shoulder and Odysseus nuzzled between them to fight off the cold, Girolamo realized that, for the first time in years, Christmas had been good.

#original writing #self-promotion #caterina sforza #girolamo riario #primum sanguis #catario christmas #rosamunda fanucci #giuliano della rovere

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escapethroughthepages · 7 years

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R E V I E W - Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier

Working as a lady’s companion, the heroine of Rebecca learns her place. Her future looks bleak until, on a trip to the South of France, she meets Max de Winter, a handsome widower whose sudden proposal of marriage takes her by surprise. She accepts, but whisked away from glamorous Monte Carlo to the ominous and brooding Manderley, the new Mrs de Winters finds Max a changed man. And the memory of his dead wife Rebecca is forever kept alive by the forbidding housekeeper, Mrs Danvers...

Another day, another attempt to articulate my thoughts about another book I’ve recently read. This time, it’s Daphne du Maurier’s thriller Rebecca. This book I was introduced to during my A levels, when our teacher recommended it as a potential book we could write our coursework on. Whilst the book did not appeal to me as a coursework text, I knew I wanted to read it. Fast forward four years and I eventually get down to doing just that.

Now I am a complete sucker for anything that falls under the Gothic; I just always ending up loving it so much. And my mum, she is a sucker for the film version of Rebecca. In fact, she has seen multiple film and television adaptations of it and though I cannot say which one is the ultimate favourite, I can say she continues to be shocked that I have yet to watch any film version myself. It’s on the to do list so one it will happen, but until then mum will just have to be content with me seeking her out to discuss the book as opposed to the film, though going by all our conversations there is very little difference. Adaptations seem to stay pretty loyal to the book and her response was always “wait until you see what happens next”, she was quite a significant driving factor in my need to finish this novel.

Admittedly, I had a slight reading slump when I started this, it took me a while to invest in the story. This book got to spend a ridiculous amount of time sat on the bedside table. But once the story got me I finished it within a day. The slowness wasn’t a fault of the book, more my brain needing a slight break after three years of intense reading at university. If anything, the fact that I still managed to get so immersed in the novel probably highlights even more just how good this book is.

The story is written in flashback mode. You travel back with the narrator to Monte Carlo and watch her fast-paced romance blossom with Max de Winter, which accumulates in a quick marriage and a return to the family mansion, Manderley. I personally liked the use of a giant flashback because it enabled the novel to start on a strikingly ominous note, which really helped to retain my attention at the start. However, there were points where I found it to be more frustrating and ever so slightly pointless. Despite the story being written in hindsight, this does not seem to be fully utilised in the story. We’re no more informed than if the narrator was telling the events at the moment of occurrence. I expected to see two different versions of the narrator; the one telling the story and the one living it, yet in Rebecca I did not find this distinction to be clearly established. I’ll admit this isn’t really a major issue, it’s just a disruption of my expectations, but in my mind this form of narration indicates the lack of character progression in the novel.

Now, I love this story, but I really do dislike all the characters. Except Frank. Frank, I love. The story is compelling, but all the characters (minus Frank) irritate me. Fortunately, it’s pretty clear we are not meant to concern ourselves with liking them. Loving the story and hating all but one character seems to be a requirement for me loving a book, as I have the same opinion of The Great Gatsby, which has come through to be one of my all-time faves. The characters are all extremely flawed, and it is through these flaws the narrative is constructed. Mrs Danvers’ obsession, Rebecca’s dominance, Mrs de Winters’ passivity and Max’s striving for perfection all combined to create some of the most unappealing individuals, and the most appealing story. Mrs Danver’s is one of the creepiest characters I have ever encountered. Her infatuation is reminiscent of Gatsby’s unfulfilled nostalgic yearning in The Great Gatsby; she never lets the new Mrs de Winter forget the romanticised glamour of Manderley when Rebecca was in charge. Right from the start she sets up Mrs de Winter to fall.

In fact, it is the ghostly aspect of the novel that largely appealed to me. And not in the typical ghost apparition way, but the design of the characters. This story has a very bleak outlook on humanity, and this is very much visible in the discouragement of individuality, especially in the line of duty. Tradition is key, and the toxic nature of it is definitely explored. The new Mrs de Winter can largely be defined as being everything Rebecca is not; she is defined by her absence. This use of polarisation in the novel is probably what helped me relate to it so much, our roles in society hold so much influence over our growth as individuals, it can be really hard to not compare to those who, publicly at least, seem to have it all together. Even though Mrs de Winter resents Rebecca, there is always a part of her that will envy her. And it is that capture of the contradictory nature of humanity that, for me, makes this novel one that deserves to be read.

#Rebecca #Daphne du Maurier #book review #escapethroughthepages #thriller #recommended read #modern classic

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