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thebibliosphere · 3 years

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Sooo, I have an idea for my own vampire story (it’s cool, with secret society’s and murder and lesbians). How do you go about making it a reality?

Start writing it. You can either plot it out in detail or do a vague outline and see where it takes you from there.

You’ll probs go through a couple of drafts of the idea before you get to the final rough draft. After that I’d highly recommend hiring an editor(s). (Mine are @roselarkpublishing) This advice stands true whether you decide to self-pub or trad-pub.

A good book to read if you decide to go self-pub is Let's Get Digital by David Gaughran. His book helps demystify a lot of the process, especially how to use keywords for optimizing the Amazon algorithm. (This is assuming you are using Amazon KDP which I would recommend for self-pub because it’s the biggest source of reliable income. If it makes anyone feel better, kdp contributes very little money to Amazon’s overall profit.)

If you don’t know what kind of editing you need, check to see if they offer a manuscript assessment. This can help them pinpoint which service you’d benefit from most, as well as which areas you can strengthen on your own as a writer. They might also offer formatting services, which I’d highly recommend you take them up on if you decide to self publish.

Formatting varies from ebook to paperback and isn’t impossible to do on your own (I know some people hate it) but is really easy to fuck up. I can’t tell you how many promising books I’ve returned because their internal formatting was bad enough to be an accessibility issue.

If you are going the traditional route, shopping around for an agent to rep you is your next priority. Most trad-publishers won’t read unsolicited submissions and won’t even acknowledge your submission. Remember, any agent that wants money up front is probably a scammer. Agents take their fees as commission out of the final deal reached with the publisher. The publisher will also handle any additional editing, formatting, and cover art, but you will be expected to do most of your own marketing. They’ll do some marketing for you if you’re lucky, but most trad authors are expected to maintain an active social media presence to boost their work.

If you are going self-pub, cover art should be your next step although you could also be tackling this while things are being edited.

Formatting covers for ebooks is easier than physical books as Amazon and Ingram Spark seem to decide their physical dimensions by planetary alignment and both are different despite Amazon occasionally using Ingram as an overflow printer. *jazz hands*

Using a service like draft2digital will save you a lot of extra admin spoons and will allow for easier global distribution for your ebooks (paperback is currently in beta iirc).

If you decide to do paperbacks you can use the free Amazon isbn if you want, but I prefer to buy my own ISBNs which you can buy in bulk from Bowker. You will need a separate ISBN for Amazon and Ingram iirc but at the time of writing this it’s 7am so don’t quote me on that.

Once you’ve got everything uploaded and approved (pro-tip: try not to submit queer focused manuscripts for approval on Amazon over the weekends. There’s a known issue with one of the weekend approvers being a homophobe who finds arbitrary reasons to knock back manuscripts, especially queer romance which they automatically rate as more explicit than het-romances 😬) you need to decide if you’re going to set it up for pre-order or immediate launch. Pre-order allows you to drum up some advance self-promo which can be good. But it’s really up to you.

Self-promo is a huge factor in publishing whether you’re trad or self-pub so it can also be a good idea to make uniform social media handles with your author name. An author website is also a very, very good idea to give people a main space to find your work.

Audio books is a whole other thing I don’t know much about but am currently in the process of learning about. If this is something you want to do, don’t give audible exclusive rights. At present it binds you into a 7 year contract that makes the author very little money and a bunch of people use their return policy as a library service by refunding the book the moment they’re done. This doesn’t come out of Amazon’s pocket as some people seem to think but directly from the author and is extremely crummy. Wide distribution is the way to go. There’s a service similar to draft2digita for audiobooks but I can’t currently remember the name of it. called Findaway Voices, which is supposed to be good for self pub and mass distribution.

I have likely missed a couple of steps, and certainly didn’t go as in depth as the above the book I listed above. But this is the general gist of how you turn an idea into a book. Hope it helps and best of luck!

#long post #books #publishing #self publishing #how to do the thing #links

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pherryt · 6 years

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Supernatural Sci Fi Rec List

This is the second rec list in a series I’m making (first was the Destiny Fic Rec List). The art for this list was made by me ( @dragonpressgraphics ) for Colliding Worlds

By Pherryt/Me

What’s the Truth?: Wordcount: 8256, General, Destiel Android!Cas, Android phobia, Secrets, Explosions, Angst, Hurt/Comfort Summary: Dean has never made a secret of his hatred for AI's - especially androids. His whole world is turned on it's edge when he finds out Cas has been hiding something big from him since they met... and before he can even come to terms with it, he almost loses Cas for good.

Colliding Worlds: Wordcount: 54009, General, Destiel Crossover with Doctor Who, Canon Divergent Season 11 Summary What happens if the Doctor meets our boys? When the supernatural meets the other wordly? Can the boys expand their worldview to include aliens?? A fun exercise in colliding worlds...

Crossing Fantasies: Wordcount: 6839, Teen, Destiel Crossover with Star Trek, Bunker Fic Summary Dean's minding his own business in the bunker when 3 very impossible people show up in his room amid a glory of sparkles. There's no way he could be facing down Captain James T. Kirk, Doctor McCoy and Commander Spock - they're fictional characters from a TV show for fucks sake, right? So why was he holding a gun on the very real presence of three strangers claiming to be just that in his own bedroom at a supposedly impervious Bunker?

You Stole My Line!: Wordcount: 2888, General, Destiel Crossover with Doctor Who, Season Codas up to 12 Summary Because really, Dean's gonna brag about killing Hitler, and that's going to make some people a little jealous...you know who I'm talking about right? And then in the end, it helps Dean open up a little bit more...

Midnight Adventures: Wordcount: 8992, Explicit, DCJ Crossover with Doctor Who, Coitus Interuptus and feels Summary Dean, Jimmy and Cas had moved to the middle of nowhere for a reason. Relationships such as theirs were hardly ever understood to begin with. Throw in the fact that, well, Dean's boyfriends were related to each other, and it causes quite an outcry. So. Middle of nowhere. Lots of land and privacy. And all they wanted to do was celebrate their anniversary in peace. And sex (definitely sex). Of course, time traveling aliens with their magic box kinda put a damper on that. But that's okay - he makes up for it in the end.

The Replacement Engineer: Wordcount: 3061, Explicit, Destiel ABO, Non Trad, Omegas Cas and Dean, Switching Summary Dean's the doctor on Charlies ship, and he's just met Castiel - the replacement for their previous engineer. Nobody expected them to take such an instant liking to each other. After that, it was only a matter of time before Sam was scarred for life and Charlie needed to give the ship a few upgrades. But it wasn't really their fault!

Humanities Second Chance: Wordcount: 3076, Explicit, Saileen ABO, Post Apocalyptic, Omega Sam, Alpha Eileen, Switching Summary The world changed after the Earth rose up against humanity. Disaster after disaster struck, decimating the population, but as humans have always found a way to do - they survived. They might have changed a little in the process but, they survived. Not that the new generation of kids knew anything different. They hear the stories, the tales, but to them, this is the new normal. And Sam is about to embark on the next phase of his life - getting mated

Solitary Flights and Second Chances: Wordcount: 7415, General, Destiel Astronaut Dean, NASA style Summary All Dean's life, all he wanted was to go into space. He's sacrificed a lot on the way to that dream. Now he has it and he realizes... he sacrificed too much. Way too much. Sabatoge, injury and an aborted trip are a strange way to get back the things he lost... that most precious thing of all... but if he can salvage something good from all this, he'll take it. he just needs to get back home alive, first.

More Recs (Not Mine)

Purgatory: Population 1 By @jhoomwrites : Wordcount: 13165, Mature Destiel, Mark of Cain, Crashlanding Summary: While helping out a group of terraformers, Dean ends up with a mysterious Mark on his arm that gives him the urge to kill. After giving up on the idea of a cure, Dean comes up with the only solution he can think of: he takes his ship, picks a direction, and flies until he’s so lost no one will ever find him. And for a few years, it works. Dean has a planet full of monsters all to himself, monsters he can kill and maim and satisfy his dark impulses. At least until a stranger crash lands on his planet. Will Dean be able to resist long enough to help this man leave? And what if he doesn't want him to leave?

Well Build Ourselves by @reallyelegantsharkfish / : Wordcount: 5420, Explicit Destiel, Android Summary: An android walks into Dean’s shop. (italics)

I'll Cross the Sky for You by Superhoney : Wordcount: 33364, Explicit Destiel, Top!Cas, Bottom!Dean, Courier/Captan Cas, CoffeeShop Owner Dean Summary: Castiel thinks it sounds ridiculous: a spaceship that’s also an Earth-style coffeeshop? But upon his first visit to The Family Business, he quickly realizes that the owner, Dean Winchester, is incredibly handsome, the pastries are delicious, and the coffee is out of this world. One visit leads to another, and before long, Castiel is completely won over by both the coffeeship and its owner. It’s hard to maintain a relationship when you’re constantly flying across the vastness of space, but for the sake of both his heart and his stomach, Castiel swears he and Dean will make it work

And then there were five by @feartheophanim : Wordcount: 5969, Teen Destiel, Spaceflight, Ship to Ship Battle Summary: Dean is the best engineer on base, and his father keeps refusing his requests for off-world assignments. Pissed off with the same old-same old, Dean goes for a drink and meets a stranger who offers him a job on his ship. Things are harder than Dean expected, out there in space, but things soon take a turn for the strange. He is left with far more than he bargained for.

the light of falling stars by by @procasdeanating : Wordcount: 4980, Explicit Destiel, Alien!Cas, Battles Summary: … when Lieutenant Dean Winchester and the two ships under his command engaged in combat with a Seraph squadron. Two army ships were destroyed, while one fighter, presumably Lt. Winchester’s, made a forced landing on a nearby uninhabited class D planet after triggering the emergency protocol. The ongoing search has not produced conclusive results. Lt. Winchester is classified as missing in action…

The Ark by @pimentogirl : Wordcount: 2776, Explicit Destiel, reunion, hurt/comfort Summary: The Ark, a triple class interstellar craft, offering the opportunity to travel between colonies regardless of Tier Status... ...and the last place left to look...

Because of Harrison Bergeron by @nachsie : Wordcount: 5249, Not Rated destiel, sabriel, Android Summary: In the year 2081, amendments to the Constitution dictate that all Americans are fully equal and not allowed to be smarter, better-looking, or more physically able than anyone else. The Handicapper General's agents enforce the equality laws, forcing citizens to wear "handicaps": masks for those who are too beautiful, radios inside the ears of intelligent people, and heavy weights for the strong or athletic. When Harrison Bergeron in an attempt to overthrow the government is gunned down, the strongest able to break from the control start a rebellion that leads to an all out war. One rebellion group lead by Harrison's baby brother, Sam in it's attempt to destroy the government runs into a sleeper citizen base, running into by fate a sleeper teenager called Castiel

Real Skilled at People by Astarloa / : Wordcount: 1456, Mature (This reminds me of a Robert Heinlein short that I loved but can’t find anymore. If anyone knows where to find it, I’d love to know!) Summary: In an alternate future reality there's a black market doctor named Robert and a man who yearns for wings.

Looking to the Sky to Save Me by raths_kitten / : Wordcount: 8693, Explicit Destiel, Bounty Hunters Cas and Sam Summary: Sam and Castiel are bounty hunters. When a warrant is out for Dean, Sam convinces Castiel to catch him. Loosely based on Killjoys.

Dreaming in Digital by @ltleflrt : Wordcount: WIP (80k +), Explicit Destiel, Sabriel, Post Apocalyptic, Androids, Bounty Hunters Summary: When Dean finds a deactivated sex bot, he knows it's his lucky day.

Qualia by @imogenbynight : Wordcount: 26600, Explicit AI, Bring Tissues, Destiel, Sam/Jess Summary: When Sam & Jess move into a smart home, Dean finds an unlikely match in the AI that keeps it running.

Lost and Found by @destieltrashland : Wordcount: 22928, Explicit Destiel, Sam/Jess, Nod to Space Seed (Star Trek), Character Death (not Team Free Will) Summary: When he reached the hatch door he looked through the small window, shining the light from his helmet inside. The cargo area was cleaner than the front of the ship, due to being sealed off from the tear in the hull, and it still held a sizable number of items within. The items floated under nets keeping them tethered to the floor. “What strange readings?” he asked as he pointed his own tricorder inside. “Power signatures and –“ she paused, pressing buttons on the screen as if to confirm her assessment, “life signs.” ----- Castiel and crew find something unexpected while recovering an ancient spaceship. Dean and Sam struggle to adjust to life 300 years in the future.

#supernatural #sci fi #sci fi rec list #rec list #destiel #sabriel #dcj #crossovers #doctor who #star trek #androids #space ships

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miss-sassmaster · 7 years

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Hey Sass, I just found your blog and I've been enjoying it immensely. I'm wondering what you mean when you say you came from a non-science background. I'm pursuing a master's degree in library science with a concentration on medical science libraries, and I'm eventually hoping to apply to med school after a couple of years working as a librarian. What advice do you have for applicants with somewhat atypical backgrounds looking to go to med school?

Hey anon,

I’m so glad you’re enjoying my blog! I have more I need to post but…life you know?

Anyways, when I say I’m of non-science background that really means two things in my case. The first is that up until college my entire life was heavily focused on art. I went to an arts high school, I worked in just about every medium you could think of. I took some science classes in high school but honestly couldn’t have cared less about them. It all kind of fell apart though when I did a summer program between my junior and senior year of high school. I think I’ve written about that somewhere else so I won’t bore you with those details. But that sort of ended my art as a career situation.

Technically the second reason falls within science because I was a psych major and heavily involved in medical based research but I did a lot of data collection, article writing and statistical analysis so none of it was actual medical science. So besides my prereqs, volunteering where I basically took vitals and discharged people and some shadowing I really walked into medical school blind but enthusiastic.

So for one with an atypical, non-traditional person wanting to go to med school, here are some tips from someone who already made those mistakes;

This first stuff is a little more general but easy to forget once you’re no longer immersed in an academic setting

Make sure you have all your basic prereqs done to get into medical school, and if you don’t and you’ve already graduated look into post-bac programs. Because in the absolute short all that’s absolutely required are certain classes and an MCAT. Oh and don’t be a convicted felon I guess.

Continue to do some volunteering and shadowing in the medical field if you can just so you’re not totally removed

Map out a time line whenever you’re ready to start applying because late is BAD and that way you don’t get overwhelmed with process and the cost

Use the AAMC and AOA websites to find exactly what schools you’re interested in want; know average scores, if they like research, want specific letters of rec, or like a butt load of volunteer hours for example

This stuff if more for the non-trad

Reach out to a medical professional and learn more about what medical school consists of to know if making a full switch makes sense to you since this is HUGE commitment in all facets of your life

Don’t be super focused on saving as much money as you can because unless you’re in a situation that makes bank your loans will far exceed what you can save up in a few of years. I’m not saying be dumb but don’t think you need to live off rice and ramen for the next few years. Be smart, save some but live a life. Especially because you’ll be much more restricted later

Know your demographic, especial as a non-trad with a non-trad major. While they’e way more open to people are not 22 or a bio major it’s still a minority group. So check out school stats as well and major disbursement

Have a solid rationale for why you wanted to do something else first and what drew you to medicine despite having another career first and why you picked something not in the medical field if you planned your final destination to be medical school; it’s not that doing something else is bad, but they want to know that you’re dedicated to sticking it out and that you really want this

Relate what you’ve learned in your current field to medicine and how your experience can make you a great physician

Don’t try to cover it up! Be proud of what you did and accomplished because you have a another view on life that really can give you a unique and interesting perspective

There’s probably some other tidbits I might be missing but I think I got the gist. I hope I was able to help and good luck!

#ask sass #med school #premed #oh man i'm always so wordy #long post

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oselatra · 5 years

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Essential New Orleans

An extensive guide to eating, drinking, dancing, karaoke-ing, strolling and Carnivaling in the Crescent City.

Carnival season in New Orleans kicked off in early January and reaches its peak on Fat Tuesday, Mardi Gras day, which falls this year on March 2. Any time is the right time to visit New Orleans, but there is something special about this time of year, when it can feel like the whole creative force of the city is devoted to the art of celebration. No rough guide can do it justice — the city is inexhaustible — but here's a starter kit. If you're picturing frat boys barfing on Bourbon, don't worry: There's a better way.

Eat

First things first, pack in as many of these New Orleans classics as you can: The fried chicken at Willie Mae's Scotch House, the muffaletta at City Grocery, oysters at Casamento's, the jambalaya supreme at Coop's Place. Other good spots for Cajun/Creole/soul food: Li'l Dizzy's Cafe and Dooky Chase. And yes, I'm stating the obvious here, but it must be said — go get beignets and a cafe au lait at Cafe Du Monde. A tip that might save you an hour: If there's a line, ignore it. They don't make this clear to tourists, but locals know — there is no hostess, you just keep your eye out for someone leaving, have a seat at any un-bussed table, and a waiter will swoop in before you know it.

While this is a topic of endless local debate, for my money, the best po-boys in town are at Domilise's. For a different twist, try the immaculately stuffed barbecue shrimp po-boy at Liuzza's by the Track. If you want the full po-boy tour, longtime midtown haunt Parkway Bakery and Tavern is also worth a visit. And to cure your late-night hankering, Gene's dishes out hot sausage po-boys 24 hours a day from its can't-miss-it bright-pink building at the corner of St. Claude and Elysian Fields, always a wild (if occasionally dodgy) scene in the wee hours.

On the fancier end of the spectrum, the hottest table in town might be Saba, the new Mediterranean restaurant from James Beard Foundation Award-winning chef Alon Shaya. Among the elaborate and unforgettable hummus options: blue crab with beech mushrooms, lemon butter and mint; lamb tongue with pickled barberries, red onion and almonds.

Cochon, from another James Beard award-winner, Donald Link, is a favorite spot for casual splurging for locals and foodie visitors alike. Cochon serves up Cajun-influenced downhome gourmet; it's the sort of place where you can find both a world-class wine list and fried alligator. The Louisiana Cochon is its show-stopper: pork braised overnight into a succulent and crispy cake, topped with pork cracklins, cabbage and pickled turnips. If you can find the room, other highlights include the wood-fired oyster roast, the rabbit and dumplings, and the indulgent charcuterie plate. Ask about moonshine offerings. Other great restaurants from Donald Link: fine dining at Herbsaint, seafood at Peche and casual Cajun deli and butcher shop Butcher next door to Cochon.

Cochon is one of a number of contemporary restaurants in New Orleans that blend fine dining with country cooking. A couple of other masters of this form, both uptown: Coquette and Patois. If you can score the one outside table at Patois, it's the perfect romantic spot for a date. Have yourself a pickle-tini: Hendrick's gin plus juice from Patois' homemade bread-and-butter pickles.

Meanwhile, for fine dining on the finer end, the big spenders should make a reservation at August or Compère Lapin. Or if you have a hankering for old-fashioned New Orleans decadence rather than the contemporary foodie scene (think turtle soup, Oysters Rockefeller, bread pudding, classic French Creole rabbit dishes, served up in roaring-'20s opulence), some of the best options: Brigtsen's, Brennan's, Clancy's and the ultimate classic, Commander's Palace, where the 25-cent martini happy hour for Friday lunch remains the supreme see-and-be-seen scene for the dandy set.

If you want to go fancy but you're on a budget, check out the city's best happy hours: Domenica — 2-5 p.m., half-off wood-fired pizza and half off drinks; Luke — 3-6 p.m., 75-cent oysters on the half shell and half-off drinks.

The best bang for your buck in town: Boucherie. Everything on the rotating and vibrantly eclectic "casual fine dining" menu is good: boudin balls, scallops, grit fries, sashimi, bacon brownies, Waygu beef brisket, Krispy Kreme bread pudding. And it has the best Pimm's Cup in the city, if you ask me. Its sister restaurant around the corner, Bourreé, a Cajun smokehouse, butcher and patio beer garden, serves up seasonal fresh-fruit daiquiris, hot wings, boiled peanuts, boudin links and more — an absolute gem for laid-back al fresco dining.

Other cozy, relaxed neighborhood spots: Bennachin offers up West African comfort food in the French Quarter; Bacchanal is a wine bar in the Bywater that serves exquisite tapas in a picturesque outdoor courtyard with live jazz; the small and intimate 1000 Figs serves impeccable (and affordable) Mediterranean cuisine in mid-city; and Pizza Delicious is a casual, counter-service restaurant in the Bywater that has become a local favorite — true to its name, its thin-crust pizza is delicious. Be ready for lines, but check out Turkey and the Wolf, the Irish Channel sandwich shop that was recently named the best new restaurant in the nation by Bon Appétit magazine.

For breakfast, the best vibe is Pagoda and the best food is Toast, while the talk of the town is a new spot, Molly's Rise and Shine. Satsuma Cafe and Surrey's Cafe and Juice Bar are great neighborhood spots. If you're in need of morning munchies in the Quarter: Stanley is a touristy but fine option in Jackson Square; Clover Grill on Bourbon Street is an inviting greasy diner for the hungover set.

Drink

My vote for the best cocktail in the city is the Ramos Gin Fizz at the Sazerac Bar. Yes, it has a hefty price tag at $14. But you're on vacation: Treat yourself. The Sazerac Bar, in the Roosevelt Hotel a block off the Quarter, is an art deco masterpiece, with a mahogany bar, walnut-paneled walls and iconic murals by the artist Paul Ninas. This is the bar where legendary Louisiana Gov. Huey P. Long held court, always with a Ramos Gin Fizz in hand. The story goes that Long got a highway built between Baton Rouge and New Orleans just so that he could speed his limo from the state Capitol to the gin fizz awaiting him at the Sazerac Bar in an hour flat. Among the other too-good-to-check stories: While staying at an upscale New York hotel, Long was unsatisfied with its version of the drink and flew the top bartender at the Sazerac Bar up to "teach these New York sophisticates how and what to drink." I don't blame the Kingfish — the Sazerac Bar's Ramos Gin Fizz remains heavenly stuff.

Meanwhile, for inventive and contemporary takes on fancy cocktails, stop by Bar Tonique, or check out the Cuban-inspired frozen cocktails at Manolito.

But maybe you just want cheap beer that's cold, and you don't mind a little grit and grime. The following dive bars have low prices, an aroma that lingers from before the city's smoking ban, and plenty of character (and characters): Iggy's, The John, Big Daddy's, BJ's, Bud Rip's, Cutter's, Snake and Jake's Christmas Club Lounge, Miss Mae's.

While gallivanting around in the French Quarter, have a Bloody Mary at Molly's at the Market (ask for it spicy). Other cozy bars downtown that are worth a pit stop: In the French Quarter — Lafitte's, Carousel Bar in the Hotel Monteleone, Cosimo's. In the Marigny — Lost Love Lounge, R Bar, Mimi's.

And when it's time to take it all in, the best rooftop bar, with stunning views of the city: Hot Tin.

Be merry

Preservation Hall remains the city's premier place to see traditional New Orleans jazz; make sure to get tickets in advance, as the intimate space inevitably fills up. For the booming funk of the city's many brass bands, the more adventurous souls among you might seek out the hallowed neighborhood dives that serve as meccas for live brass: check the listings at the Candlelight Lounge, Bullet's, Vaughn's and the Mother in Law Lounge. For the uptown set (Tulane students like to dance, too!) — the Maple Leaf is another great spot. Or just wait for the happy surprise of seeing a brass band play in the street — walk around Frenchmen Street and you'll inevitably come across one blasting on a corner. Frenchmen is home to the Spotted Cat, a terrific spot for trad-jazz, klezmer, Cajun and blues, with patrons spilling out to dance in the street; other spots to check the listings on Frenchmen include Snug Harbor, d.b.a. and Blue Nile. If you are lucky enough to be in town when a second line parade is rolling with a brass band on a Sunday afternoon, this quintessential New Orleans experience is not to be missed — check wwoz.org for upcoming second lines or just keep your ear open for tips.

Karaoke in New Orleans is like karaoke everywhere, except the guy belting out "Born to Run" might be wearing a space insect costume made of immaculately woven neon tinsel. Kajun's, a divey downtown joint, is thusly one of the most spirited karaoke bars I've ever set foot in. Located on St. Claude Avenue, a hard-partying street in the heart of a hard-partying city, Kajun's has all of the cheap-beer-fueled abandon with a dash of psychedelic mayhem. If New Orleans is famous for its high-culture musical traditions, the city also hums on pastiche and kitsch. Kajun's is the sort of establishment where the besotted fool singing a Lisa Loeb song begins to feel like a messenger from God.

St. Claude Avenue is rapidly gentrifying these days, but remains home to longtime bars that serve as nightlife headquarters for the city's outré scenesters. Just down the block from Kajun's, the AllWays Lounge, an expansive freaky-deaky performance space and watering hole — what David Lynch might imagine for a dive bar — is one of the most joyously unique venues in the city, and a great spot to see the full creative wizardry of local revelers. Other venerable bars on the strip to check out, hosting everything from dance parties to brass to death metal: Hi-Ho Lounge, Saturn Bar, Siberia. One block up, the extremely divey St. Roch Tavern hosts raucous and sweaty nights devoted to New Orleans bounce music. The St. Claude corridor would also be the area where you might befriend a crusty rogue at the bar who can fill you in on the wacko happenings in the New Orleans downtown scene that are too spontaneous and secretive to find in listings like this one.

The best place to swim in your undies and/or eat a waffle: The Country Club, a Bywater mansion that houses the late-night after-party scene for weird New Orleans — with a bar, restaurant, swimming pool, sauna and hot tub. They no longer allow skinny dipping, but the Country Club retains a swanky anarchy in the wee hours; meanwhile, once the sun comes up, they serve one of the best brunches in the city.

Out and about in town

If you need a quiet moment to get away from it all, head to City Park. The 1,300-acre sanctuary is one of the nation's oldest parks, offering a green respite from the concrete bustle and buzz of New Orleans since 1854. Rent a paddle boat, canoe or kayak to explore the park's waterways, or wander around and check out the botanical garden, the sculpture garden, the antique wooden carousel at the old-time amusement park and the New Orleans Museum of Art, the city's flagship fine arts museum. It's also worth a stroll to follow the bayou on the east end of the park down into the picturesque Bayou St. John neighborhood.

City Park features the oldest grove of mature live oaks in the world. The Singing Oak, near the park's Esplanade entrance, is one of the most enchanting spots in the city. The work of local artist Jim Hart, the tree is subtly adorned with giant chimes (up to 14 feet long), positioned to catch the breeze from the nearby lake and ring a pentatonic scale. Sit beneath the shade of the drooping live oak and enjoy the gentle symphony. It's the perfect place for a picnic: Grab provisions at mid-city's neighborhood grocery store Canseco's or, better yet, pick up a few pounds of cooked crawfish from Danny's #1 Seafood in the Seventh Ward. Short of stumbling upon a neighborhood crawfish boil, a do-it-yourself, peel-and-eat picnic is the best way to have crawfish in New Orleans; skip the buckets at overpriced French Quarter restaurants and get a big bag fresh from Danny's or from Cajun Seafood, which has various locations around town. FYI for the hardcore mudbug fanatics eager to host your own boil: You can get live crawfish shipped home or even take them as a carry-on on a plane.

One of the most delightful ways to see a long stretch of the city is to hop on a streetcar. If you're in the French Quarter and want to see uptown New Orleans, take the St. Charles streetcar, which goes all the way from the heart of the Quarter to the riverbend on the other side of the town, through the north end of the Garden District, Audubon Park and just south of the Loyola and Tulane campuses. It's a perfect trip for house-gazing and people-watching. New Orleans Original Daiquiris is just around the corner from the last stop uptown; pick up a daiquiri to give your ride a little buzz. Warning: Trying to take the streetcar on Mardi Gras weekend can be nearly impossible because of the crowds; the St. Charles streetcar is also not an option when St. Charles is on a parade route.

For shopping and strolling, try Magazine Street six blocks south of St. Charles at the other end of the Garden District, a charming stretch of boutiques, antiques and restaurants. The French Quarter is also great for ambling. Skip Bourbon Street unless you just have to have a grain alcohol concoction in a novelty neon container; instead hop one block over and try walking the length of Royal Street from Canal to Esplanade during the daytime. You can also catch a $2 ride at the foot of Canal Street on the Algiers Ferry, which offers beautiful views of the city as it crosses the Mississippi River to Algiers Point, a walkable neighborhood on the West Bank.

And make time for these absolute New Orleans treasures: Domino Sound Record Shack, a collector's paradise; the interactive sound installation Music Box Village, an open-to-the-public wonderland of musical houses and structures; and the Backstreet Cultural Museum, a warmly curated collection honoring Mardi Gras Indians, second lines, jazz funerals and other aspects of the city's black cultural history.

Carnival

If you want the absolute pinnacle of Mardi Gras madness, you'll want to make the trip for Mardi Gras day and the weekend preceding it, but keep in mind that the parades and celebrations of Carnival go on for weeks beforehand, with schedules easy to find online.

The bigger parades can be overwhelming, but they're a fun window into how much of a communal, family event Carnival is (particularly further from the Quarter on the parade routes). The best of the biggies: the irreverent Krewe du Vieux, famous for its wicked satire, kicks things off in mid-February; the all-female Krewe of Muses rolls uptown on the Thursday before Mardi Gras (its elaborately bedazzled shoes are one of the most prized "throws" of Mardi Gras season); and the historically black Krewe of Zulu tosses hand-painted coconuts in its mammoth procession on Mardi Gras day.

Everyone, at least once, should try the bone-rattling thrill of hanging out under an overpass on a Mardi Gras parade route, where the processions pause for the high-school marching bands to take advantage of the throbbing acoustics under the bridge.

Various nontraditional parades have more manageable crowds, more opportunities for impromptu participation, and often the most interesting DIY art. Dance along with the costumed revelers at the Box of Wine and Red Beans walking parades; check out the incredible shoebox-sized tiny floats of the all-miniature parade, 'tit Rex; gawk at the rolling art installation that is the science-fiction-themed Intergalactic Krewe of Chewbacchus; and woof along with Barkus, the all-dog parade. Things get stranger still if you can hunt down one of the various secret, no-permit parades by word of mouth; the Mystic Krewe of Eris provides an experience you won't soon forget if you can find them.

If you are in town for Mardi Gras weekend, check out the Panorama Brass Band at AllWays Lounge on Saturday night. Make sure to get some sleep on Monday — the party on Mardi Gras day starts first thing in the morning and lasts all day. Start downtown with the walking parades of the Society of St. Anne or the St. Anthony Ramblers, featuring the most lovingly outlandish costumes in the city. They don't follow precise routes, but R Bar or Mimi's are good spots to join up, and they roll down Royal all the way into the Quarter. Or start your morning uptown on St. Charles to watch Zulu and follow them into the Quarter. One way or another, spend some time checking out the costumes and mini-krewes on Royal, which provides a steady stream of wonders all day. Catch an outdoor band in Jackson Square, then duck into Pirate's Alley around the corner for an absinthe, then mosey to the Moonwalk riverfront park, where the day's adventurers take a minute to relax by the Mississippi.

It may take some searching, but Mardi Gras day is also one of just two days a year that you can witness an utterly singular New Orleans cultural tradition: Mardi Gras Indians are out chanting, singing and strutting in the stunning costumes that they have worked on all year. The best spots to find them are under the I-10 overpass on Claiborne and outside the Backstreet Cultural Museum in the Seventh Ward.

Essential New Orleans

#Essential New Orleans

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