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smileysuh · 3 years

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🌙 staring. Jaehyun & Johnny x afab!Reader

🔮 synopsis. Jaehyun’s never been able to deny the fact that you and Johnny are simply soulmates. But he can’t deny the way he feels when he starts to see your body changing due to your pregnancy, and your lover, Johnny, has always been a very non-jealous type, which honestly, probably makes the whole situation that much harder .

cw/ tw. Jaehyun verified pregnancy kink ya’ll, he wants all up in those mommy milky knockers … i mean, sort of, no sex while pregnant, romanticization of pregnant body ?, pregnancy kink, unprotected sex, ‘daddy’ in a pregnancy kink capacity, the SOFTEST SMUT etc …

👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 8k

🍭 aus. idol au, pregnancy au, established relationship, etc…

☀️ mlist + an. JohnJae own my life

Johnny's in the kitchen grabbing popcorn when you feel your baby kick, and the squeal you release is enough to turn multiple heads.

"She kicked!" You exclaim excitedly, reaching for the nearest hand - which happens to be Jaehyun's - to bring to your bump.

He must catch the tail end of your baby's movement because Jaehyun's eyes widen, his body frozen while Johnny rushes over, his own large hand joining his friend's on your tummy. Other members have gathered around the couch now, with a few younger guys peeking over the shoulders of older members who aren't as afraid to get up close to you in this uncomfortable human state called pregnancy.

You're in week 25, and by touching your belly, other people are finally able to feel when the baby moves or kicks. Her wiggly form will no longer be something only you can feel, and you're excited about others being able to experience it with you.

Johnny hasn't had the chance to feel your tummy when your baby moves, she always calms down just as he reaches you, but a few others have. Haechan was there the first time, and when you would grabbed his hand to put it on your tummy he'd screamed and jumped away quick enough to alarm the entire apartment, insisting that it felt like an Alien from the movie alien, and that it would claw out of you at any second…. You'd ignored him.

Kun and Taeyong have felt the baby move too, as they're the protective nanny types who are around you most often when Johnny is busy. But the person who has felt your baby moves at least five times already, is Jaehyun, who practically doesn't leave your side.

When you and Johnny announced to the group that you were expecting a baby, everyone had been excited. But as you've grown, certain members, Jaehyun especially, have taken to babying you. A day doesn't go by that someone doesn't offer to grab you takeout or bubble tea.

When it's clear that the baby has stopped moving, Jaehyun removes his hand from your tummy, shuffling over to give Johnny space to get comfortable next to you on the couch. You cuddle into your lover's side, enjoying the way his large hand stays on your bump, he's going to be waiting for a kick, unwilling to miss it, the entire time you watch a movie with the group.

On your other side, Jaehyun makes sure you're comfortable, refilling your water cup and your craving bowl (full of your favorite treats) when he gets up to go to the kitchen halfway through the movie.

Mark's sitting on the floor in front of you, his big ass head lolling back and resting against your knee when he falls asleep near eleven, tired from the long day they'd had. You have to fight the urge to play with his hair.

Surrounded by your boyfriend and his group, you know that your baby is going to be born into a big family that will do everything for her, and you couldn't imagine a better place to raise you and Johnny's little princess.

"Baby come here." Johnny says, opening his arms and sitting up higher against the pillows, making space for you. He loves being your big, scratch that, massive spoon. Once you're settled with your back to his chest, a deep breath leaves your body. You instantly relax whenever Johnny holds you. He's your safe space, and he always will be. He strokes your hair lovingly, breath teasing the skin of your neck when he asks; "What are you thinking?"

“Who says I'm thinking anything?” You respond, eyes already closed as you snuggle under the blankets, exhausted from your day.

Johnny's large hand smooths over your tummy, flattening the shirt you're wearing - his shirt - over your bump. "Jaehyun's felt her move more than I have."

"Are you jealous, Suh?" You grin, shocked to be seeing the day- but also too tired to turn around and eye him up for it.

"I’m not." He sounds sincere, and you trust him not to lie to you. "I think Jae is."

You place your hand over his, interlocking your fingers as you lean back into his warmth. "Maybe."

"You may have noticed Jae has a breeding kink."

"Uh huh."

“And now that you're showing more-”

"The kink is starting to show more in him too." You nod. "So if you're not jealous, how do you feel?"

Now it's Johnny's turn to let out a sigh, which you feel in your entire body as you both sink more into the pillows, still enwrapped by him. "I don't know." Johnny says. “Not jealous. It's kind of nice having an extra set of watchful eyes on you at all times. ”

You giggle and push back against Johnny, hating that he's teasing you about his friend's apparent crush on you- or… infatuation with you? Lust for you? Whatever the word- it feels so odd to be discussing this with Johnny while you're pregnant with his daughter in your belly.

"Just his eyes on me, right?" You ask.

"What are you suggesting?" His tone is teasing and he leans down to press a kiss against your neck.

"What were you suggesting when you brought up Jaehyun's watchful eyes, Mr. Suh?"

He hums, the vibration in his chest making your own body tremble in his grip. "You haven't called me that in a while."

“And you're not getting laid tonight either.” You say, tone faltering. "Still feel kind of weird lately."

You'd recently confessed to Johnny that your changing body was scaring you. You're excited for your baby, and never in a million years will you ever regret taking this step with Johnny, but the growing bump is something to get used to. Things are much more real lately, now that your due date is getting closer and closer, and your labido hasn't been super high, which Johnny has always been more than understanding of.

“That's okay, I'm sorry if it feels like I'm pressuring you-” His fingers squeeze yours.

"You're not." You tell him. You've been with Johnny long enough to know he never means to pressure, but no matter how many times you tell him you know this, he continues to apologize every time he does something he thinks is 'pressure'. You find it endearing, and you love him for it endlessly.

“Honestly, I brought up Jaehyun because he's good at giving hugs and I'm not around as much as I'd like to be with my schedule. So I thought, since he's in love with your pregnant self, he could be your second boyfriend, and when the baby comes, he'll remember he hates kids, and back off again. ”

"But what if he doesn't back off?" you ask, shocked by the entire idea, but set on overcoming the immediate obstacles.

Johnny scoffs, “It's Jaehyun. Put a baby in front of him and he'll run the other way screaming. ”

You're helping cook dinner in the kitchen on the tenth floor, an oddity caused by much of nct staying late at a dance practice. It's just you, Mark, Jaehyun and Jungwoo at the dorms right now. Jungwoo had come to grab you from the fifth floor, insisting he needed food but not wanting Mark to attempt to cook for him.

After allowing Jungwoo to convince you, through aegyo of course, to cook for him, you had followed him up to his own kitchen, where you had found Jaehyun, who was more than willing to jump in as your sous-chef.

So here you are, in front of the stove, just about to add ramen- when Jaehyun slides past your bum, having brushed by you to then get at the fridge, where he retrieves some sauces. You're a little shocked by the brief contact, but it's not bad, especially after your talk with Johnny last night.

Jaehyun comes to stand next to you, shoulder touching yours. "How's your tummy feel today?"

"I don't know, maybe you should find out for yourself." You sigh, used to this behavior with many of the nct dudes who want to touch your stomach at any given time but always want to tiptoe around simply asking outright.

You step away from the stove to give Jaehyun access to your front, but he doesn't like that position very much. "Can I hug you from behind?"

You look at Mark and Jungwoo, who are in the other room, cuddled on the couch while they wait for food. Then you nod, allowing Jaehyun to settle in behind you.

His chest is warm and he's a similar height to Johnny, but there's no mistaking the difference in their bodies. Johnny is broader, and he fits different, his focus almost always on you. Jaehyun's focus is your growing bump and - you suspect - your boobs.

He stays behind you while you cook ramen, and seconds feel much longer with your body pressed to his, waiting to be caught- although Johnny encouraged this. You worry about what the others will think.

When you finish with the ramen, you separate from Jaehyun, calling over the men in the living room who are none the wiser to your relationship milestone with Jaehyun (a back hug) having just been reached.

A while later, more members file in, and Johnny arrives with them, having known you would be with the other members and not alone on the fifth floor. Your lover sees you on the couch with Jaehyun, your head resting on his shoulder, and Johnny allows you to stay that way while he gets food.

“Look at Jae and Y / N on the couch.” Yuta says in the kitchen, eyes fixed on you both.

"What about them?" Johnny asks, scooping some ramen into his mouth.

"They're sitting too close."

The man from Chicago simply shrugs. "In your opinion."

When you notice Johnny is home, you quickly join him and Yuta, hugging Johnny tightly in a greeting and sticking to his side the remainder of your time in the dorm. When things wind down, Johnny pulls you aside.

"Do you want to invite Jae over?" He asks.

With the approach of a baby, which you couldn't possibly keep in the dorms with a bunch of guys with weird schedules and difficult jobs, you and Johnny had gotten an apartment on the fifth floor that's separate from the one he shares with Doyoung, Taeyong and Haechan. This allows him to spend a lot of time in the NCT dorms for vlogs and such while also being close to you, with NCT scheduled to have an off time during your immediate months post due date. But the idea of inviting Jaehyun over to spend the night-

"Hmm?"

“I mean to sleep. To cuddle. ” Johnny corrects himself before there's any miscommunication. "He can warm the bed while I make you breakfast in the morning, you've been complaining lately that it gets too cold."

"I don't complain." You narrow your eyes at Johnny, who simply takes your face in his hands and presses a kiss to your nose.

"Yes, you do, but it's cute, and this is how we fix it." His thumb strokes your cheek and you lean into his warm palm, looking up at him.

"I guess we could invite him over."

There are only a few people hanging out in the main room in the dorm now, most people have taken food and gone off to their own rooms. But Jaehyun, as always, is hovering around still. He's talking to Jungwoo, but it's clear that Jungwoo is exhausted and needs sleep, so when you and Johnny head over, Johnny is quick to tell him, “maybe you should head to bed.” And the sleepy, six foot baby nods, hugs you all goodnight, and trudges off.

"Are you two going to go home?" Jaehyun asks now that it's just the three of you, and you've been here for a while now.

"Yeah, but we were wondering if you want to come with us." Johnny says. “Our bed is much comfier than yours, and this one,” he pulls you closer to his side, smiling down at you, “always says she's too cold in the mornings now-”

"It's a hormonal imbalance or something."

"It's a hormonal imbalance or something." Johnny repeats for you, nodding, then he looks at Jaehyun, “but anyways, we have enough space for you if you want to come and sleep at our place tonight.”

Jaehyun blinks, then looks between you both for a moment. "You want me to sleep with you?"

" Just sleeping." Johnny quickly clarifies.

Silence, then, “okay.”

It was Johnny's chest you fell asleep against, with Jaehyun spooning you from behind, but when you wake up in the morning, your lover is gone, and it's now Jaehyun who's your human pillow.

When you shift, a low, groggy voice says “good morning.”

It's a foreign voice, although it belongs to Jaehyun. He sounds different due to the morning state of things, nothing like Johnny, who is all softness and baby voices in the morning nowadays as he usually dotes on you. Jaehyun is not Johnny.

"How did you sleep?" You ask.

"Good." He answers. "You?"

"Really good, what time is it?"

"Noon."

You're shocked. Even if it is a weekend, sleeping in till noon never happens for you. Johnny usually leaves the bed to do morning workouts and cook breakfast, which leaves you cold, always waking you around ten at the latest.

You feel so well rested, your entire body light and airy like the soft morning scent that comes through the window you always leave ajar. Jaehyun also smells nice, oddly enough. And you adjust your head on his chest, shifting your body so your bump is facing more upward.

Jaehyun's hand immediately lands on your stomach.

"Is she moving?"

"No, I think we both needed a good rest."

"A long rest." comes Johnny's voice from the doorway. He's leaning there, smiling at you. Your lover is dressed in gray sweats and a black tshirt, he looks casual, but he's still the prettiest man you've ever seen in your life, and you can't help the way you instantly sit up and open your arms for him. Johnny heads over, collapsing onto the bed and pressing a kiss to your forehead before he positions himself behind you, letting out a sigh as he nuzzles your skin with his nose. "You haven't slept this late in ages."

"I know." you smile, “and we owe it to Jaehyun I think.”

"You always sleep better when someones in the bed, right, my love?" a kiss on your shoulder and Johnny's large hand smooths down to your bump.

"Always." you agree, letting out a hum of happiness as your eyes close and you relax between the two massive bodies of your protectors.

Jaehyun might not be your lover, but he's definitely earned the title of protector.

"I made brunch."

"American brunch?" you perk up.

"As always." Johnny answers. He really enjoys making an 'American' meal every once in a while. Pancakes, bacon, eggs, sausage, hashbrowns- he misses the taste of home and he's got you hooked on brunch days.

"Have you ever tried one of Johnny's pancakes?" you ask, looking up at Jaehyun.

"I do not think so."

“They're insanely good,” you tell him, earning a soft squeeze of love from the man behind you, “You have no idea what you've been missing.”

Except that Jaehyun does, because he's witnessing it. What he's missing is a relationship, and right now, it's painfully obvious .

Haechan finds himself standing next to Yuta of all people, both of them with their eyes fixed on you and Jaehyun, who are lounging on the couch, your legs over Jaehyun's lap as he massages your calves.

Neither Yuta nor Haechan say anything for a while, they simply watch as you and Jaehyun chat. You're in your own little world, and Haechan wonders if either of you have even noticed them standing in the kitchen.

"Do you think it's weird?" Haechan whispers to Yuta finally.

"Them?"

"Yeah."

Yuta considers it for a moment. "A little."

"Should we tell Johnny?" Haechan asks. As much as he likes you, his loyalty is to Johnny, and if you're playing around with Jaehyun on the side- well, Haechan's not the type of friend to watch this happen and not step in.

"He's okay with it." Yuta responds, which calms the heat that had been growing in the man next to him.

"He is?"

Yuta nods, “It's Johnny and Y / N. They're literally soulmates. ”

"But Jae-"

"Y / N's not going to cheat on Johnny." Yuta says firmly but quietly, eyes still on you in the adjoining room. “We just have to trust that those two have this whole thing figured out, no matter how weird it may look to us from the outside.”

Jaehyun flexes his hand at his side, watching you and Johnny cuddle and laugh on the one seater you're both making use of on the tenth floor. He's become so used to there being space for him over the past few months of your pregnancy.

A lot of the younger members give you a wide berth at all times because they're 'low key scared of the bump' as Jaemin had admitted to him a few weeks ago. So there's almost always space for Jaehyun on at least one side of you- but not in a single seater.

It's been a little while since Jaehyun's started coming and sharing your bed. He doesn't do it every night, just when it's obvious that you both really need a good rest. It's obvious to him that he's just there as comfort, a best friend who gets to cuddle you… and also wants to have you cock warm him so he can touch your pregnant tummy and growing breasts-

Jaehyun shifts his eyes away from you and Johnny, but your laughter invades his ears. Of course Johnny has started tickling you and pressing kisses all over your face, Jaehyun can hear them.

He's happy for you both, he really is. He's not jealous in the sense that he wants to get rid of Johnny… he's jealous in the sense that he wishes he was on the other side of you, also speckling your skin in declarations of love.

Today, Johnny is off shooting a Johnny's Communication Center video , which leaves you at home by yourself. You hate being alone, especially when you have a bunch of friends who live on the same floor and five above. You find yourself texting Jaehyun, not wanting to leave your apartment but only feeling comfy having him come to hang out with you.

Others have been in your apartment, but no one is as comfortable here as Jaehyun is. He makes himself at home now, and when he shows up ten minutes later, looking fresh from a shower and cute, dimples on show, the first thing he does is go and collapse onto your couch. He opens his arms for you and you laugh, joining him, “long day?”

"Yeah, I'm so tired." He groans, his hand finding your baby bump as he adjusts behind you, spooning your form. His breath is hot against your neck and it sends a shiver down your spine.

"Should we nap?"

"We could watch something if you want."

You would bet money that even if you do turn on Netflix, Jaehyun will probably fall asleep during it based on the drowsy way he's talking to you. "I think I want a nap." You say, earning a grunt of agreement followed by a silence that tells you Jaehyun has definitely fallen asleep already.

With a deep breath, you relax into his warm, protective embrace, and soon, you join him in dream land.

You're awoken sometime later by something poking into your bum, and the moment your eyes blink open, you know exactly what it is: Jaehyun has a boner.

"Already?" You whisper, not sure if he's awake and aware or not. A moment goes by with no response and you realize he's still asleep. You move slightly, trying to wiggle away, but his grip on you tightens.

Then there's a soft groan, “Stop moving.”

“Jaehyun you-” You're not sure how to tell him his dick is literally pressed to your ass. You suppose you've cuddled and it's been pressed to your ass before… but not while hard. This suddenly doesn't feel very PG 13, as everything leading up to this moment has.

His hand moves down to your belly, and then he stiffens. "Oh."

You hold in a laugh. The poor guy has just realized his cock is stiffer than the dickens, and all he has to say for himself is 'oh' !?

He lets out a sigh, “Do you want me to move?”

You're appalled by him and let out a laugh this time, “Do i want you to move?” you repeat in shock, "Jaehyun, I'm with Johnny."

"You're with me right now."

It's true. And you do feel like maybe you owe Jaehyun an explanation for the fact that you're letting him be so close to you all the time now. "Jaehyun, do you know you have a pregnancy kink right?"

He hums in response, hot breath fanning over the back of your neck.

“Before I was pregnant, you were just my friend, and now that I'm pregnant, you're into my body, but I won't be pregnant forever you know.”

"But you are now ." His hand rubs your tummy softly.

“And when this baby comes, you're going to turn the other way and run, Jaehyun.”

"Not necessarily-"

“Jae, I understand that you like my belly and my boobs and the idea of a baby growing inside of me, but we can't do anything now that's going to jeopardize our friendship when i give birth and you inevitably stop being attracted to my body. ”

He doesn't say anything for a long while.

“But Jaehyun, obviously I still care about you, you're one of my best friend's and Johnny's too. I get it if being around me and not getting to act on your sexual impulses is too much for you, but if you can bare it, i'd really love to continue with the cuddles, and hugging, and movie nights- ”

“Of course.” He cuts you off before you can continue listing things. “I'm here for you. For all of this. ”

"I really appreciate it." You tell him honestly. Since Johnny suggested leaning on Jaehyun a bit more when he's off working, you've felt your mood lift. Jaehyun is important to you, you just hope you're not toying with his heart. You hope you and Johnny are right about the fact that as soon as you have a baby Jaehyun's going to run for the hills. Because if he doesn't, well, that's a whole situation you're not even ready to think about.

It's a Friday night and you find yourself in Johnny's dorm surrounded by his friends, his family. Haechan has been hogging the bluetooth for some time, but Johnny finally manages to convince him to play a soft song, and your lover immediately pulls you to your feet from where you'd been resting on the couch with Taeyong.

The tall Chicago man smiles at you as he prompts you to spin, making your skin heat with a bit of embarrassment. Johnny loves these big shows of affection, but he always makes sure there's room for you to hide your face against his chest when he actually begins dancing with you.

A few of the younger members let out groans of disgust. They hadn't signed up to watch a couple be completely in love and expecting a baby when they'd signed up with SM, and the fact that much of the group is single is painfully obvious in moments like these.

The door opens and a few guys from the tenth floor come in, Mark leading, followed by Jungwoo and Jaehyun. As soon as Johnny's eyes land on his favorite boyfriend-place-holder, he says, “Jae! Come dance with us! ”

Your lover spins you in his arms again, making you face Jaehyun, who sighs but does as he's told, stepping up to you. Johnny's fingers skim down your arms to your hands, and he wraps his large form around your back, prompting you delicately to lift your hands and set them onto Jaehyun's shoulders, then he finds his own grip on your waist.

Facing Jaehyun like this, your bump is very much in between your bodies, keeping you distanced to a degree, but of course, your bump is what has all of Jaehyun's attention. One of his hands finds your tummy and he strokes you through the fabric of one of Johnny's shirts you'd thrown on earlier.

As if sensing the proximity of Jaehyun and Johnny, your little princess wiggles to life in your belly. You make sure not to waste the moment, grabbing Johnny's hand to put it on the other side of your tummy. "Do you feel her?" You ask, earning affirmative responses from both Jaehyun and Johnny.

Enraptured in your own little trio'ed world of pregnancy bliss, you find yourself whisked into a sense of happiness that feels like it will never run out.

Johnny is very capable, something you are more than aware of, but when the two of you begin building a crib in the baby's room, it isn't long before both of you realize you're missing a third set of hands. Jaehyun's hands.

Hands that aren't even really needed, simply missed.

When Jaehyun arrives, he has take out, and he quickly tells you to take a seat in the comfy rocking chair in the corner and eat while you watch the two men set to work. Every once in a while, Johnny shuffles over and you feed him some noodles, earning sloppy kisses that leave damp, saucy smelling marks on your skin, but your lover's antics simply make you laugh.

Jaehyun watches the two of you interact, not comfortable enough to be hand fed by you, as Johnny is. Today, he's intent on watching, and as your bump gets bigger and bigger, Jaehyun knows the clock is ticking down on how much time he has left being part of your little trio.

Sure, when the baby is born, he'll still be around, but you've made it clear things will be different, and as time goes on, Jaehyun's been realizing with every sweet nothing whispered in your ear, and every gentle touch on your back from you lover, that he's not cut out to be a husband or father the way Johnny is.

It's around dinnertime and Jaehyun hasn't heard from you or Johnny all day. They've reached the last stretch of your pregnancy, and NCT's been off promotions for about a week. Every day, you and Johnny get more and more jittery, your due date just on the horizon.

Usually Jaehyun spends at least part of the day with the two of you, whether it's in your cozy apartment, or in the general fifth floor dorms with everyone.

Jaehyun had woken up late, and spent most of the day resting, waiting for a text to invite him to come hang out with you and Johnny, a text that never came. Now, as he watches Jungwoo attempt to teach Mark how to properly cook an egg, Jaehyun decides he might as well head down to the fifth floor for some dinner that's actually edible.

When he arrives, it's Doyoung who opens the door for him, a glass of red wine in hand. The bunny boy's brows furrow, “What are you doing here?”

"Can't a guy come say hi to his friends during his off time?" Jaehyun asks, pushing into the dorm past Doyoung.

"Johnny and Y / N aren't here." Doyoung says, closing the door behind him.

Jaehyun hates the fact that Doyoung can see right through him, so he pretends to be here for something else. His eyes land on Taeyong in the kitchen, like Doyoung, he's drinking wine. "Did you guys eat yet?"

"We were just going to order takeout." Taeyong responds, setting down his glass to retrieve another one, which he promptly fills with wine and pushes towards Jaehyun. "Johnny and Y / N are at some birth instruction thing."

“Birth instruction thing.” Doyoung tuts as he comes to stand near Taeyong, “They're at the doctors talking about options for when she goes into labor.”

Taeyong rolls his eyes at Doyoung's correction. His explanation hadn't been as detailed, but it had worked just fine.

Again, Jaehyun tries to steer the conversation in another direction, because if he focuses for too long on the presence that's lacking from the dorm right now, it will be all he'll be able to think about. Then he realizes, “where's Haechan?”

“With the dreamies tonight.” Doyoung responds smoothly.

"Are you in love with Y / N?" Taeyong's soft voice draws all the air from the room, and it makes Doyoung choke on his wine.

Jaehyun stands frozen for a moment. He hadn't expected such a direct question. He wonders why he's never asked this of himself before.

The answer comes easily, “no.” and it's the truth.

"Thank god." Doyoung lets out a sigh of relief.

Everyone has let Jaehyun's infatuation with you slide because Johnny has made it clear that it's okay, but as your due date has drawn nearer, a few of the older members, like Taeyong and Kun, have become concerned about how Jaehyun's going to feel once you and Johnny are off in new parent land… without him.

Knowing Jaehyun's not in love with you is a massive breath of relief for Taeyong, and for Jaehyun too.

Now that the elephant in the room is out of the way, Doyoung prompts Jaehyun to “drink more wine” and Taeyong deals with ordering food. They don't bring up you and Johnny again, and the two of you never come home, even though Jaehyun stays in the dorm until around eleven just hanging out with Doyoung and Taeyong.

Jaehyun supposes he could walk down the hall and knock on your apartment door, which is obviously where you and Johnny are. But tonight, he decides not to, he heads back up to the tenth floor and collapses into his bed. He says goodnight to Jungwoo, whose softly murmured 'sleep well' is nothing compared to your own goodnight wishes, which Jaehyun had become accustomed to, but tonight, he doesn't mind so much.

You're in the kitchen, standing between Johnny and Jaehyun, when your water breaks. The spatula in your hand drops as you double over, grabbing at your tummy and letting out an 'oof' sound. All eyes in the dorm go to you, and your protectors on either side grab you to steady you.

“The baby is coming!” Haechan's sudden voice fills the room, and he all but yeets himself off the couch and runs, terrified of all of this. You can't help but notice the way Jaehyun's eyes have widened too, and he looks after Haechan as if he wishes he could follow.

“Kun-” Johnny's strong tone grounds you, and he begins barking orders at the men in the room as he leads you over to the door slowly. Despite Jaehyun's silence, and the anxiety that's practically oozing off of him in waves, he stays by your side.

"Are you in pain?" Johnny asks when you make it to the elevator. It's now just you, him, Jaehyun and Taeyong, who's holding your hospital bag tightly in his hand, it's his one job and he's not going to fuck it up.

You shake your head.

"How far apart are the contractions?"

"Johnny, I'm fine." you assure him, “we planned for this right? Our princess is on time. Things will be fine. ”

Johnny grabs your face between both of his hands and kisses you deeply to distract himself from the racing of his heart. When he pulls away from you, you're smiling at him, only to wince slightly when you have another contraction that causes you to grab your tummy, laughing to yourself, “ok, that one hurt a little more.”

After arriving at the hospital, Taeyong and Jaehyun had watched you and Johnny get whisked away by nurses, and were themselves directed to a seating room. "How long does having a baby usually take?" Jaehyun says when they've been waiting for two hours.

Taeyong, who has his head lolled back with his eyes closed, simply shrugs, “you're the one with the pregnancy kink, shouldn't you know?”

Jaehyun thinks maybe Taeyong spends too much time with Doyoug, whose sass has been rubbing off on the leader and sparking to light when he's most tired or stressed, like now.

Taeyong's phone dings and he looks down at it, “Kun's coming.”

"Why is Kun coming?"

"Because I'm exhausted and need to sleep." Taeyong responds. "Are you going to come back to the dorms?"

Jaehyun hadn't even considered going back to the dorms. “Shouldn't someone be here when they come out?”

"Kun will be here." Taeyong says simply, "he's really good with babies."

Although Taeyong hasn't said it out loud, the connotation of his words isn't lost on Jaehyun, who is, in fact, not very good with babies.

"I should stay." Jaehyun says, not because he wants to see the baby, because he wants to see you and Johnny, and make sure you're both alright.

Now that he thinks about it, Jaehyun really doesn't care about meeting the baby at all.

Jaehyun's breath catches the moment he enters your hospital room. He feels like he's intruding, but he supposes he's not the one, beside him, Kun falters too.

You're laying in a hospital bed, propped up, a bundle of pink blankets to your chest. Jaehyun can't see the baby, not that he's even looking, no his eyes are fixed on the way Johnny is half leaning over you, both of you giving your full attention to what's in your arms.

Jaehyun's never seen Johnny smile like this before, his eyes obviously wet with emotion, which can be seen even from where Jaehyun and Kun stand in the doorway.

The man who had acted like training wheels, keeping you up while you learned to ride, has been discarded, but watching you and Johnny thrive without him- Jaehyun knows this is always the way it had to have happened.

You were right that day when you would cuddled up to him and told him that he was attracted to your body, because now that you've had your baby- Jaehyun knows he'll only ever see you as Johnny's adoring wife and the amazing mom to your little bundle of joy, his niece… sort of.

Kun steps past Jaehyun into the room, approaching you and Johnny, who look up at him. Your eyes shift past Kun to Jaehyun, still lurking near the door, unsure what to do.

“Jaehyun,” your voice is soft, and when you smile at him, Jaehyun's hopes your baby will inherit the same light that jumps to your eyes when you're happy. Your next words break the spell, drawing Jaehyun back into a safe reality where his role in your life is easy and clear. "Would you like to come meet your god daughter?"

"He's not even that great with kids." Doyoung mutters, kicking at a rock with his foot while he watches Jaehyun carry the new baby around the park.

"Are you seriously still mad that they let him be the godfather and not you?" Taeyong laughs, adjusting the way he's sitting on the bench, pulling the baby carriage closer to himself as a woman walks by, eying the two men, who, despite trying to be incognito, kind of stick out amongst the nannies and young mothers around the park.

“It's just- Jaehyun doesn't even live on the fifth floor!”

Taeyong snickers again, listening to his best friend rant about how he's much more qualified to be a godfather, and that he actually enjoys babies, a comment that makes Taeyong roll his eyes. It's not that Doyoung likes babies he thinks, it's that he has the incessant need to prove himself, especially now that there's another person (baby) around hogging up attention.

When Jaehyun comes back, setting the little princess into her baby carrier, Doyoung shuts up about who's the godfather. Taeyong thinks Doyoung knows deep down that Jaehyun is the only person suitable for the title of godfather, even if he's going to blunder his way through it and probably be the shitty uncle who introduces his princess niece to weed for the first time- although, with a vape lord dad like Johnny, maybe the little princess will be more of a firecracker than any of them expect.

"What time is it?" you ask when you sit up in bed, shocked that you actually feel well rested. In the past few months of being a new mom, you can probably count the days you had a good night's sleep on one hand - not that you mind, you love your new little bundle of joy - it's just tiring.

"Nearly noon." comes Johnny's soft answer. He rests his book on his chest, looking down at you, who are curled up against his side.

"Where's-"

"Jaehyun, Doyoung and Taeyong took her." Johnny responds smoothly, brushing some of your hair from your face, he adores the fact that you worry so much about your daughter, even though, honestly, between the two of you and all the other members jumping to have time with your daughter, things are more than well handled on any given day. "They said they had the day off and thought we might need a break."

"A break?" you chuckle, sitting up and stretching. Then you swing your leg over Johnny's hips, straddling him, “are you sure it's a break they think we need?”

Your lover's hands find your waist and he grins up at you, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. Since you had your baby a few months ago, your sex life with Johnny has been a little lacking, although neither of you really mind. You're enjoying your life as new parents… but you both have needs, and straddling your gorgeous, sexy, smart, kind lover- you realize how neglectful you've been of those needs as of late.

"Johnny?"

He hums, trailing his lips down your jaw to your neck, where he sucks on your sweet spot. You tangle your fingers in his soft hair, which he's let grow out lately, and you think it's the sexiest he's ever been… or maybe fatherhood simply suits him.

"I love you so much." You tell him.

He laughs against your skin, letting out a deep sigh as his hands press down on your hips, urging you to apply pressure to where you both need it. "I love you too, gorgeous."

The tip of his nose trails across your collarbone and he presses chaste kisses to your skin as you enjoy the closeness of it all. His fingers snake under your shirt, tickling the skin of your abdomen and making you tense a little, which only makes Johnny laugh, then he's rolling and you're pinned to the bed beneath him.

"You're so beautiful in the mornings." He tells you, teasing your shirt up higher until it exposes your flimsy panties underneath, the only thing you're wearing other than the oversized t. "What did I ever do to deserve you?" he asks, smiling happily as he presses another soft kiss to your lips.

You lace your arms around the back of his neck, meeting his look of adoration with one of your own. You don't need to answer his rhetorical question, instead tilting your head up to meet his kiss, which you deepen by tangling your fingers in his hair.

His large hand finds your breast and he kneads it, earning himself a whimper of pleasure from your lips. His thumb brushes over your nipple and you shiver at the contact, very sensitive there from your pregnancy.

"Feel good?" he asks, his breath hot against your neck as he presses feverish kisses there, his hips rolling slightly to apply pressure to your clit which prompts you to tighten your legs around his hips.

You hum in affirmation, fingers going to tug at his shirt, “take this off?”

Johnny's warm body pulls away from you and he sits up so he can strip for you, revealing his beautiful, muscled torso a moment later to your hungry eyes. "You too." He prompts, eying the shirt still covering your body from him.

When you're both bare, Johnny envelopes you in his embrace again, running his nose across your cheek and breathing in your scent, “have you ever thought about leaning in to Jae's pregnancy kink?”

You laugh at his words, “what?”

“Like,” his hand moves up to cup your breast and you moan immediately from the stimulation, “we've never tried it.”

“I didn't realize,” your words catch when his thumb brushes over your nipple, “you were into that sort of thing.”

"I'm not." Johnny confesses, his eyes lifting from your breasts to meet your gauze and you notice a passionate darkness to them that matches the rich, deep tone of his voice when he says; “But do you have any idea, what it's like, to have someone trust you so deeply that they're willing to let you give them a baby?”

“I guess i don't know what it's like to be on your end,” you confess, beaming up at him, “But i do know what it's like to love and trust you with every inch of my being.”

Johnny hums happily, pressing his lips against yours. His mouth is warm, tongue gliding across your bottom lip as he deepens the kiss. He's so big, weighing you down into the bed with his body as he enwraps you in the safest embrace you've ever been in.

The ridges of hard muscle delight you as he presses his body against you harder, earning a gasp from you when his hard cock brushes just right over your panty covered clit.

“Johnny-” you moan, lips free now that he's begun kissing down your neck.

"Let me take care of you." He coos in response, hand slipping between your bodies. At first, he simply rubs your entrance through your underwear, able to feel your wetness on them. But Johnny's not in the mood to tease today, and soon he's helping you take off your last remaining piece of clothing before discarding his as well and then slotting himself between your legs again.

His fingers find your entrance again and you pout up at him, earning a chuckle from your lover, “what?” he asks, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips as he slides one finger into you.

"I don't want your fingers, I want you ." you tell him, pulling him close so you can pepper his skin in kisses as you work your way to his ear. You bite on his earlobe gently, earning a shiver from the large man on top of you. "I thought you were going to fill me up daddy ."

Johnny lets out a groan. When it comes to daddy kink, he can be off and on. Since you've had your daughter and he's a legit dad, you've only ever used it in that context. To hear the word daddy on your lips while he's between your legs like this- Johnny can feel his skin tingle in reaction.

You're playing around with the pregnancy kink, and he'll be damned if he doesn't give it a shot, for today at least.

"Is that what you want?" he coos down at you, positioning himself at your entrance, “you wanna be filled baby?”

You tighten your legs around his waist, urging him to push into you, and he finally concedes, pressing his lips to yours as he sheaths himself in your warmth. A growl leaves his throat as he enjoys the way your walls wrap around him lovingly, his hands grabbing at the pillows on either side of your head.

Johnny rolls his hips and you dig your nails into his shoulders, smiling into warm kisses. His large hand finds your hip and he props himself up slightly so he can get more leverage, thrusting into you even harder now. Your bed is hitting the wall slightly but it just makes you giggle, Johnny also laughing as he moves his lips to your neck.

"You looked so beautiful when you were pregnant." Johnny coos, pushing his forehead against yours and looking down between your bodies to where he's fucking you, his hand brushes your abdomen. "All full for me."

"Full now." you tell him, closing your eyes to revel in the feeling of his massive cock filling you in every possible way.

He chuckles, his hand comes to gently cup the side of your face as his hips moves more fluidly. "Should we have another baby then gorgeous?"

"Johnny!" you laugh, cut off by his kisses. You know he's teasing you… a little. The idea is intriguing, if not on a realistic level, then on a sexual one. You can't help the way it makes your pussy wetter, and Johnny notices the way you get a bit tighter because he pulls away from your lips with a grin and a questioning look in his eyes.

"You like that?" he asks, rolling his hips harder. His hand goes to your thigh to lift it higher on his hips, giving him even more ability to manhandle you and get you positioned just on he slides against your gspot and you're sure you're seeing stars.

"You wanna give yourself to me twice over, huh gorgeous?" He leans over you again and his lips go to your neck. He teases the sensitive flesh there, causing your legs to quiver as they squeeze his waist, gasps audible to the empty room. This isn't pregnancy kink soft daddy Johnny, he's in full Mr. Suh mode, and you've missed your hard dom lover, who had swept you off your feet two years ago at a bar, even after you rejected him twice … Just to see what he'd do.

You're completely in love with him, and honestly, if he were to get you pregnant from this, you wouldn't even mind.

It's been so long since you two really enjoyed each other like this, without a time crunch, and you know neither of you are going to last. You wrap your arms around the back of his neck and smile at the ceiling, tilting your head so your lover can continue to suck marks against your skin. You don't need to tell him when you're cumming, and neither does he. You've been together long enough to be used to cumming together, unless he tries really hard not to, Johnny often can cum from you orgasming. He's so big compared to you that you already feel like heaven, so when your walls clamp down on him, he's a goner.

Johnny lets out a breathy groan, hips thrusting to ride you both through your orgasms while you hold onto his shoulders as if he's your life line, your own whimpers escaping swollen lips.

When he stills, you're both panting. Your lover holds his body just over yours with his pretty muscles on show. You grin and let your hands wander from his waist up to his chest, pushing him up a little so he can meet your eyes.

"Another baby isn't a horrible idea." you tell him.

Johnny laughs, “you have to quit playing games with Jaehyun's heart or it will give the guy whiplash.” you both giggle again at Jaehyun's pregnancy kink.

"That wasn't a no." You point out, rubbing your nose against his lovingly.

"It wasn't a no." Your soft, doting lover agrees, pressing his lips to yours.

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nctreat · 2 years

Text

the universe’s will (j.jh)

genre: fluff, angst, nonidol!au, teenmom!au

characters: Jeong Jaehyun of nct

warnings: mentions of bullying, swearing, cheating, mentions of grooming, mentions of sex

description: Emily is a teen mom of a 4 year old, she’s best friends with Jaehyun who she’s also in love with, but things are complicated when he has a girlfriend.

A/N: hi! this is my first fanfic hope you like it!

“mommy loves you” I hugged her tight, Angela gently pushed me away, she was getting to that age where she didn’t want to be just a mommy’s girl anymore, despite all I do for her.

“I have to go to school, baby.” I kissed her cheek before leaving for school, this is not anything new to her. Practically ever since she was born I vowed to continue my education. I love her, I really do but I want her to have a life, so she needs me to be successful.

I had Angela at 14, it’s been 4 years since then, well almost. She’s 4 in 2 weeks. I graduate in 3 months, after that, I don’t know what I’m going do. My mom promised to help me until I graduate but, I don’t know how I’m going to support Angela after high school.

When I first had her I was a walking target, everyone started rumors on who’s it was. People whispered “slut” under their breaths. Eventually it faded as I started high school and I was able to make friends, very good ones that wanted to support me.

One of them was Jaehyun, a student who moved here from South Korea during middle school. I would be lying if I didn’t say I didn’t have a crush on him, not a small one either.

I mean he’s the one who’s always been there since day 1, he’s a staple in Angela’s life at this point. I don’t let just anyone see her, only a handful of my friends have really met her.

He always comes over for Angela, he’s been there for every single birthday without fail. She always asks about him, never her dad, thankfully. It’s just Jaehyun.

He was honored to meet her, to be a part of her every day life. He loved her like she was his own. But alas, there’s someone else in Angela’s life. Jaehyun’s girlfriend, Maggie. Maggie was sweet, her and Jaehyun have been together for 3 years now. She’s known Angela for 2 of those years.

They’re set to go to college together, he want’s propose after graduation he told me. I can’t get in between them, neither can Angela. Thats why I want to move to the coast after graduation, start a new life with Angie.

“Hey Jaehyun” I breathed as I got into his car. He was kind enough to give me rides to school every day since I don’t have a car and my mom is with Angie.

“Hey Em, how are you? How’s Ang?” He smiled, his dimples making an appearance as he went to get Maggie.

“Good, good for both really.” I looked up from my phone to see him glancing at me from the mirror, he always does this. I think it’s a safety thing for him.

We arrived at school with Maggie walking to first period with me since we were in the same English class.

“You know, we should go shopping this weekend. You can bring Angela, it can be a girl’s day.” she proposed as we walked through the door. Maggie has always been a good friend.

“Yeah, totally,” I looked at the ground.

“Emily, stay after class.” Mr. Clark stated toward the end of class bell. Mr. Clark and I were close. As close as teachers and students can be appropriately.

“Have you considered the offer?” He inquired immediately. He offered me a deal last week, I stay at his lake house in the north, and I commute to college nearby.

“Yeah, it’s really nice of you but I don’t think I can’t accept it. I don’t wanna inconvenience you.” I looked at the floor out of habit.

“Emily, you’re gifted. You have a 102 in this class, you should really go to college.” he pushed, he’s been pushing for months, even got me to apply to 3 schools. Did I tell him I was accepted to all 3 already? No. I can’t go to college with a 4 year old, I need to focus on her.

“I know, but Angela comes first. I need to focus on her right now.” I walked out before he could answer.

The rest of the day flew by as always, it’s senior year, we barely do anything.

“Come on pumpkin.” I heard Jaehyun say to Maggie as they walked out to his car. I don’t go with them after school, I work until 8 every day of the week after school.

“Girl you need to make a move on him, or I will.” Gina stated wiping down the counters. “I know, I know but he has a girlfriend.” I sulked.

“Who gives a fuck? I know I don’t.” The cafe was almost closed by now so there weren’t many customers. “You’re crazy, Gina. I’m not breaking up a perfectly good relationship.” I continued counting the drawer.

“I’m just saying, if the universe has a will, there’s a way.” Gina has always been very spiritual. “Okay.”

As I was laying in bed that night, after putting Angie to sleep, I got a phone call, from Jaehyun.

“She cheated on me.” he sighed. I closed my eyes and layed back down in bed. “If the universe has a will, there’s a way.”

“I’m sorry Jaehyun.” was all I could say. This hurt me, Maggie was basically my best friend, this will definitely take a toll on us.

“Can I come over?” he asked softly. I couldn’t say no.

...

“Hey Em.” His cheeks were red and his eyes were puffy. He wasn’t Jaehyun. Jaehyun was always happy, laughing, showing his dimples off to the world.

“Hey Jae.” I pulled him in for a hug. He sobbed in my arms for a good minute before coming fully inside the door.

We spent the night talking, about everything. Maggie cheated on him with some guy on the football team last week and came clean tonight to him about it.

“I’m sorry, Jae. I know this must be hard.” I looked at my hands and played with my fingers.

“It is, but I’m glad. She was honest at least.”

“Are you going to take her back?”

He shook his head no quickly. “I can’t”

I shook my head yes.

“We should watch a movie.” He came to that conclusion after all this, that we need a movie.

“We have school tomorrow.” I looked at him.

“I’ll leave at like 3 or sum, don’t worry.”

I only agreed because he’s got a broken heart. Usually I need my sleep. Or did I agree because I love him?

He kept his word and left at 3 am. He smiled a dimpled smile while saying thank you when he left. That made everything worth it. Acting like I didn’t sleep through half of the movie.

This became a tradition, with him coming over almost every night to watch movies. Anything to help him get over everything. Anything for him.

“Girl, you’re dick whipped.” Gina shrugged.

“I am not. I’m just a good friend.” I continued cleaning.

“Mhm.”

Everything was good until Sunday night. Sunday just wasn’t my day. Late to work, Angie fell down the stairs, and when I wanted time to myself, Jaehyun needed me.

I love him, but I just needed time. but I said yes to him coming over.

“I slept with Maggie.” breathed as soon as he got into the door.

I literally face palmed, after all this work, he went and did this?

“Whyyyyyyyyyyyy?” I almost screamed. I was overwhelmed, I shouldn’t have said yes to him coming over.

“Because everyone makes mistakes.” he looked down, ashamed.

“It’s okay, Jae” I pulled him in.

He stayed with me the whole night. I guess he sensed that something was off.

At around 4, he asked the question. “Who’s Angie’s dad?”

He looked like he regretted those words. I’ve never told him or anyone other than my mom.

I nodded my head, “Todd Ramos.”

He looked confused, I know he didn’t know him. No one does.

“He was 19, I met him on instagram. He’s from the next town over.” I looked down.

“Em...” I cut him off.

“We talked for a few weeks before he came and picked me up one weekend. He took me to his apartment, and things happened. He said he loved me, Jae.” I looked down, feeling a pit in my stomach.

“After we had sex, he, he blocked me on everything. I had no idea if that was even his real name if I think about it.” I looked out the window.

“I’m sorry, I really am.” He reached over and held my hand.

We spent the night like that.

...

Angie’s birthday snuck up on us all.

My friends came to her birthday along with some of her little friends and their parents.

“Hey sweetie. how are you?” A woman I know very well approached me. Mrs. Han. She had a son Angie’s age.

“I’m good...” I was cut off as I saw Jaehyun walk through the door. He looked phenomenal. “I’m sorry, I’ll be back Mrs. Han.”

“Jae, I said you didn’t have to come. I know you were busy.” I took the gifts from his hands.

“You know I had to come, Em. I love Angie, I’ve never missed a single birthday.”

I smiled and pulled him in for a hug. That’s when I realized, this is all worth it for her.

After the party my mom insisted on cleaning up and us taking Angie to the park since she was begging for it, and birthday girl always gets what she wants.

Jae pushed Angie on the swing while I sat on the bench watching. He really would be a great father. “Come on mommy!” Angie yelled at me.

I laughed as I joined them. “Mommy, is Jae my daddy?” She asked.

“I can be.” Jae smiled at me.

...

A/N: Ahhh a happy ending! send in suggestions for more stories. My inbox is always open for anything. Thank you!

-zoe

#jaehyun #jeong jaehyun #jung jaehyun #nct 127 #nct #jaehyun fluff #jaehyu angst #jaehyun fanfic #jaehyun imagine #jaehyun fic #jaehyun scenarios

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ofaprilflowers · 3 years

Photo

- part 1: awake -

intro | next

My eyes feel as if they were glued shut. I try opening them slowly, but the lids feel like sandpaper against my eyeballs. My head throbbed, a numbing pain at the temples. I try to move my hand to rub at my eyes, but arms feel as heavy a log. How long have I been sleeping?

Eyes still shut, I can sense the lights are blinding. Was it from a lamp or sunlight? I don’t know, but my room was never this bright. Where am I?

My mouth is parched. Even licking my lips feels like a whole lot of effort. I try to make a sound, but only manage a croak. Help.

Why can’t I move? What happened to me?

I could feel my heart beating fast against my chest, a lump forming in my throat. The throbbing pain in my head turns from numb to sharp. Like a rod pressing against the points of my temples.

I can’t see, I can’t move.

I hear myself whimper, trying to call for help, but my voice barely leaves my lips. Instead, I begin to cry, one tear rolls down, then another.

I’m scared, I feel hopeless. Help.

At that moment, I feel hands gently wrap around mine. A murmur, a voice.

“Hey,” it soothes. “Hey, it’s alright, I’m here,” it says.

Whoever, I think, managing to move my fingers, trying to hold on. Grateful for a human touch. I try prying my eyes open again and this time they open a crack. My vision is blurry, like a fogged up windshield on a cold early morning. But I can make out the silhouettes in the room. A hospital? Ah yes, the accident. How bad was it?

“I’ve called the nurse,” says the voice. unexpectedly familiar. “She’ll be here in a minute.”

I stare at the the person seated next to me trying hard to focus my sight. I feel his grasp tighten a bit, a reassuring pressure on my hand. My head still hurt, but my vision was beginning to clear and I slowly began to make out the man’s features. I could see his eyes now, his nose, the shape of his mouth.

Wait a second. What?

I blinked. Once. Twice. Pressing my eyelids together just a little harder on the second one.

What is he doing here? Why is he holding me hand?

Confusion blurring my mind and the sharp pain stabbing at my brain, I feel myself drifting. A wave of unconsciousness, a heavy blanket covering my eyes, my body.

And then, darkness.

13 days, precisely.

I had been unconscious for 13 days.

I was awake now. The pain in my head back to a dull throb, but still there. The doctor (he’d introduced himself as Dr. Hwang) and 2 nurses were standing at the foot of my bed. They’d just finished a check-up and a brief explanation as to why I was here. Now, they were looking at me, waiting for my response to what I had just been told. Jaehyun was still sitting on the chair next to the left of my bed, staring at me. I tried not to notice despite the bugging thought his unexplained presence. I was out quite a while, maybe it was his shift or something. But why him?

I stared back at the doctor and nurses, then down to my hands. 13 days, huh? I felt like I just had a really long nap. In fact, I was still feeling groggy. I need another nap.

“It’s normal to feel a little groggy,” me head snapped up at the voice of the bespectacled doctor. He had a very pleasant face; pleasant looking eyes paired with a pleasant looking smile. Probably in his early forties. “That’s just your body getting used to being awake. It might take a few hours before you’re feeling fully conscious. However, there are some important things we’d like to ask you. Will that be okay?”

I nodded.

“As I explained earlier, you experienced a traumatic brain injury from the accident. A concussion. Basically, you had hit your head pretty bad on the steering wheel which caused you to fall into a coma. May I ask you, do you remember your name?”

“Ah, yes?” I looked at him quizzically. He nodded at me to go on. “My name is Astrid....Lee.”

“Very good,” he smiled, scribbling something on his notepad. “Now, can you tell me, as much as you can, what is the last thing you remember?”

My eyebrows furrowed as I tried to recall what happened. I remember driving. But where?

“Ah! I think I was driving to my friends’ house. He was celebrating his birthday.” Yes, Taeil was holding his birthday bash. The sound of the doctor scribbling floated through the air. I was on the way when...

“I think....there was, a dog. He came out of nowhe- oh no!” I gasped, looking up at the doctor. “I didn’t- I didn’t hit it did I?” I couldn’t remember what happened next. Did I stop? Did I hit it? God, oh god please don’t tell me I hit it?!

I didn’t notice I was digging my nails into my palm until Jaehyun reached out to hold them. I had forgotten he was there.

“It’s okay,” he said. “You didn’t hit it. You...you crashed into a tree.” That look. I don’t know what it was but why was he looking at me like that? What was he doing here again?

I slowly pulled my hand away, back onto my lap. Jaehyun looked...hurt?

“I’m sorry,” I said, turning back to the doctor. “Where are my parents? Shouldn’t they be here?”

“Your parents are on the way, Mrs Jung,” said one of the nurses. “They were here til late night yesterday. They went home to refresh, but they’re on their way, don’t worry,” she smiled.

Oh, okay.

Wait. What?

“What did you just say?” I must’ve hit my head really, really bad.

“Your parents are on-”

“No, no. Before that. What did you call me? I think you got my name wrong.”

The nurse opened her mouth, then clamped it shut. Something behind her eyes snapped as she realised something. A silence passed as I felt all 4 of their stares on me. Something is off. What’s going on?

It was the doctor that broke the silence.

“Could you tell us what year it is, Mrs- Miss Lee?” He had stopped writing, holding his pen up in the air.

“2017?” Something’s definitely up. I could sense Jaehyun tensing up, his legs beginning to tap on the floor

Dr. Hwang hummed, looking back down at his notepad and continued his note taking. “And how old are you?

“Twenty-one,” I could feel the throbbing pain in my head getting sharper. I stared at the doctor. “Why are you asking me this?”

He looked back up at me, then pulled a chair from the corner of the room and sat down on my right. He put his notepad down and looked at me with his pleasant eyes, although this time without the presence of his pleasant smile.

“May I call you Astrid?” He started.

“Okay,” I nodded.

“Alright, Astrid. When experiencing a traumatic brain injury like yours, it is not a surprise that certain functions of the brain may be altered. And in some cases, there is a possibility of memory loss.”

I closed my eyes as the pain in my head started pounding, increasing in persistence. I bring my hand up to my head, feeling the bandages wrapped around it.

“But I- but- but I remember who I am. I can’t possibly have memory loss, right?”

The doctor looked at me with pity, probably being used to these questions, but still having to bear the burden of breaking the news to patients and family.

“Having memory loss does not mean you forget everything. Most things about yourself remain intact. But often, it is certain periods of time that is lost.” He clasped his hands together and continued, gesturing his head towards Jaehyun on the other side. “Do you recognise this man?”

I turn slowly to look at Jaehyun. His eyes, I knew what they meant this time. It was a look I had felt so many times before. It was despair, and hope.

“Yes,” I breathed, eyes still locked onto Jaehyun. Him, frozen as well.

“And who is he?” the doctor continued.

“Jaehyun. A.....friend,” But, could you call someone you’ve known for so long but at the same time despise, a friend? At that point, Jaehyun tore his gaze away, his eyes instead trailed down to his shaking legs.

“Astrid,” the doctor called my attention back to his. “We are now in the year 2023. And Jaehyun here is, your husband.”

I scoffed. What silly joke is this? Him? My husband?

I hated him, and he hated me. This isn’t possible.

The pain in my head was crossing the threshold to unbearable. The doctor continued talking, but all sound was being drowned out.

6 years.

I had been unconscious for 13 days. But I lost 6 years.