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soveryanon · 4 years

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Reviewing time for MAG171!

- … Yeah, reasoning that “The Gardener” would be the worst title for a Flesh episode was a correct hunch, and the induced feeling was indeed “Ewwwwwwwwwww”.

Amazing contrast between the locus amoenus, with wind (that we could occasionally hear through the windchime), plants, maybe a stream gurgling (I think I heard some water?), Jared’s wheelbarrow, birds chirping (regarding the species, Alex said they were “Meat Birds”.)… and the whimpers, moans and sobs of pain, plus that terrifying scream followed by weeping when Jared took care of the “pruning”. Jonny, why.

- We’ve had a few unique “statement” formats in the journey: The Stranger’s poem (MAG165), The End’s coroner report (MAG168), and now The Flesh’s… botanical textbook? I felt like this one was a bit different in the way Jared really didn’t seem to exert much control over the domain (since he asked Jon to “hear about [his] garden”), unlike, for example, Oliver, who had given his own observations; and because… the victims felt so far away from a direct narration? There were layers upon layers narratively removing us from them (… although we could physically hear their moans of pain, directly in front of us): Jon giving the domain’s statement, and the domain explaining how to handle these people. The only direct glimpse of them was the small section towards the end of each case. Jared mentioned that the current rule seemed to be “just people using each other up”, which Jon repeated when proceeding with the smiting, and it really found an echo in the way the statements have felt less… subjective, and instead removed and distant? Not really allowing people’s voices to be heard, except for a brief moment? I wonder if it was a Flesh-thing, or if it’s installing something as they get closer to the Panopticon – the principle of this episode felt so Beholding, observing from afar things that were happening right in front of us…

- The domain’s statement was extremely organised every time:

* The genus and species for the plant-people (the root of their fear in Latin-ish and their own name), followed by the cultivated variety (the exterior result). It was incredibly nasty since in the nomenclature, the “species” of plants… doesn’t take an uppercase. And here it was people’s name, as if they were reduced to simple objects and common nouns.

* The way to prepare the living conditions: soil, temperature, light.

* The way to ensure growth and the necessary regular “care”.

* People’s inner experience and feelings in the state they’re in.

* The observed result, advertisement-like.

… It took me a while, and I’m really not sure about it, but I heard/understood:

* “Cultivation notes for [Fortisium] reese, commonly known as the ‘Gristlebloom Orchid’”: with the mention of “aggressive dehydration” and “they must always and forever be more”, toxic culture about the standards regarding muscle mass, with extreme and aggressive body-building. * “Cultivation notes for Gracilium patricia, commonly known as the ‘Bone Rose’”: toxic culture about thinness. * “Cultivation notes for [Sicarium] leopold, commonly known as the ‘Cutaway Tulip’”: toxic culture regarding plastic surgery, especially to remove traces of ageing. * “Cultivation notes for Supremium maeve, commonly known as the ‘Lily of the Damned’”: that one was a bit trickier, and seemed to be a mix of the pain coming from disability, and the obsession of a separation between body and soul?

I’m not sure about the names (my Latin is old, rusty, unreliable), but as far as I can tell through digging a bit, the roots would make sense for each: “fortis” (strong), “gracilis” (thin, tight, skinny, lean), “sicarius” (murderer) or “sica” (dagger), “superus” (above, higher; “supremus honor”, the superlative, referring to the last honours given to the deceased). … Except the declensions don’t work. “Fortisium” isn’t a form that can exist at all, as far as I can tell, same for “supremium”.

But you know what all of these have in common?

Latin words with –(i)um just slapped on to the end (regardless of whether that makes any grammatical sense).

- So. I need to make a whole separate Point about it, because if I’m right, it’s absolutely hilarious: The Eye, and Jonathan “Admittedly, if Martin speaks Polish in the same way he ‘speaks Latin’ then he might be talking nonsense again” Sims, might not know shit about Latin either.

(I’m not shaming anyone for not knowing anything about Latin, I’m not super confident about what I’m saying here either (it’s old stuff and I was very privileged to study it a bit!): but I’m shaming Jon HARD for complaining about Martin’s lack of knowledge of it… if it turns out that he, too, was absolutely shit at it. JON.)

- I’m not sure, but I feel like Jon’s tone has been getting more and more gleeful when telling the “statement” recently? It was a bit more pitying/sympathetic at the beginning of the journey, while there has been a form of… ravishment and tender, carnivorous pride? with The Desolation and now The Flesh. So, uhoh. Is Jon getting desensitised again along the journey, as he re-experiences the Fears…?

- The idea of Martin meeting Jared had been thrown around for fun and almost like a joke (Alex voicing two characters in the same room, interacting with each other), I’m so glad it happened! I still can’t understand 95% of what Jared is saying, even without the Distortion’s static! Yoohoo!

And the tiny thing I like about Jared is how… contrarily to Jonah’s complaints (MAG160: “I was a little put out when that idiot Jared Hopworth misinterpreted my letters and attacked the Institute too soon, before you were even out of the hospital” – Jonah, it wasn’t because Jared was an “idiot”, it’s because YOU messed up that one), Jared is a quick-thinker, very fast at understanding the situation, very straightforwardly logical when it comes to Jon seeking him out?

(MAG131) JARED: … What do you want? ARCHIVIST: I, uh… I want a favour. JARED: For letting me out? ARCHIVIST: Yes. JARED: Alright. ARCHIVIST: Oh. O–okay. D–do you need to know… wh–what it is? JARED: Not much you could want, comin’ to me. Put summat in. Take summat out. Which is it? ARCHIVIST: Take something out. A bone. A–a rib, probably. So–something I won’t miss.

(MAG171) ARCHIVIST: You know why I’m here? [WINDCHIME IN THE BACKGROUND] JARED: I can guess. Took a bit to figure out which rib was aching. But when I did… well. Obvious, really. [OMINOUS SHIFTING, CRACKING AND POPPING] Why shouldn’t you want it back? ARCHIVIST: [SHARP EXHALE] It’s too late for that now…! JARED: Not really, but… whatever. […] So, is there any way this doesn’t end in me dead? I’m guessing that’s on the docket if you’re here. Unless you’re just here to smell the flowers.

Jared had assumed Jon was here for the rib, and it would have been a logical thought (Jon had the power to get back what was his)… and Jared immediately corrected his assumption when Jon explained that it wasn’t the case, leading to Jared deducing that Jon was just here to kill him. I’m not sure many avatars would have been able to understand this that quickly.

- Fun thing about Jared’s gym is that both Martin and Jon knew about it separately: Martin read the statements about “J” (MAG090), and Jon had been directly told about it by Jared in MAG131:

(MAG090, Ross Davenport) “It was text only, and read, ‘Your perfect body is here. Become all you can be.’ […] The man who stood there was, without a doubt, the biggest guy I had ever seen, and bear in mind I spend my time hanging out with bodybuilders. He had to hunch down to fit through the doorway, and was almost twice as wide as I was. Most of his body was covered in a loose tracksuit, and I could see clear stitch marks where it had been enlarged for him. Embroidered onto the chest was the letter ‘J’. […] J was there, standing his full height. A distended, jagged body bared in all its twisted grandeur, and he shook his head in frustration. He said something, I think, but I couldn’t make it out. It might have been ‘too soon’. I try to remember some of them in detail, the confusion of limbs and joints and muscles, but all I can remember is the happy, joyful way they called to me. Told me that the pain was worth it. It makes me sick that a small, sharp part of me wishes I’d stayed to listen.”

(MAG131) JARED: Some of my mates, the ones I helped find their proper bodies, they listened, and went to feed the hunger. Not me though. I never was that ambitious.

(MAG171) JARED: So, is there any way this doesn’t end in me dead? I’m guessing that’s on the docket if you’re here. Unless you’re just here to smell the flowers. [WINDCHIME IN THE BACKGROUND] ARCHIVIST: … No. I can’t let you carry on like this. What happened, Jared? I thought you only worked on the willing. JARED: … What? Says who? Oooh, the gym! [THROATY LAUGH] I mean, yeah. They wanted to change, but they were still scared. First at what I’d do to them, then at what would happen if the world couldn’t handle their beautiful new bodies. Not like I was doing it out of the goodness of my heart. [SNORT] Hearts.

BUT WOW JON, WHY THAT ASSUMPTION?? Jon knew perfectly well already that Jared… hadn’t limited himself to the gym, that he had been, and still was, an Avatar Of Many Talents.

(MAG017) ARCHIVIST: I asked Martin to try and hunt down Mr. Adekoya himself for a follow-up, but have been informed that he passed away in 2006. He was found lying dead in the middle of the road on the night of April 17th. Despite the fact that there were no crushing or trauma marks on the body, the inquest ruled it a hit-and-run car accident due to the mangled position in which he was found. It was a closed casket funeral.

(MAG049, Gregory Pryor) “Hector looked at the paper, typed something into his phone and threw it away as he walked off. It was an address in Stockwell, and an instruction: ‘Ask for Jared.’ […] He pulled back the tarpaulin covering Hector’s body and cracked his knuckles. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the sound of him doing that. Then… he reached into Hector. No cutting, no saws, he just… reached in. And I realised why the room was soundproofed. Because it turned out Hector wasn’t dead. And it was going to be a while before Jared got around to his lungs or throat. […] There is… no way to describe what it feels like, to have bone pulled out of you through your unbroken skin. […] I slammed the door shut and ran into the street, through the people still wandering Stockwell in the evening, and away. My now empty left arm hanging limply by my side. I didn’t stop running for a very long time. […] The doctors amputated the arm in the end, and I’m getting used to the prosthetic. But I can still feel it sometimes, like it’s still there. I know it’s just phantom limb syndrome but… sometimes I swear it feels like my bone’s still out there, twisting in someone else’s arm…” ARCHIVIST: Statement ends. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to assume this butcher to be Jared Hopworth. It seems that if Mr Adekoya’s account from statement #9991006 is accurate, then Hopworth has found new ways to profit from his abilities in the eight years since his acquisition of The Boneturner’s Tale.

(MAG131) JARED: I wandered around for a bit. Worked a lotta jobs where it didn’t matter what you looked like. There’s always a spot for someone who can get rid of people. You must have heard about me. I left plenty of people scared and crying, itching to tell someone what happened to ‘em. Some of them must have made it to you. […] The letters started comin’ in about two years ago. Good white paper, large print. Nice and simple. Dunno who sent them; they were never signed, and I dunno how they kept finding me. There was never much in them; normally just a name, and a place, or a time. I ignored the first couple, but they kept coming, and eventually I got curious. So, I followed the instructions in one of ‘em. I found Regan Hasnain of 70 Clairmont Gardens, and that got rid of most of my doubts. I don’t blame people for thinking that all bones are the same, most people don’t have much experience – but it’s not true. There are good bones, and there are bad bones, and Regan Hasnain had some very good bones in her. They were solid, healthy, and they jumped at my touch. I didn’t doubt the letters again. They came pretty regular after that. And they always led to summat good. Quality bones, a new mate, or some unlucky fool who wouldn’t look at me for the fear. It got so I trusted them.

He’s been a butcher (with a bit of “artisty” vibe already, in the way he was twisting bones), he’s been a coach/gym adviser, he’s been an assassin-for-hire, and now a gardener. Terrible man, and wow, the range, the flexibility. So what the heck, Jon. Why the focus on the “willing”, you knew it wasn’t true – or at least, not all of it.

… Was it once again a case of Jon trying to hope that there were a few mostly harmless avatars? A bit like how he behaved towards Oliver? Hence the focus on the “willing”?

(MAG171) ARCHIVIST: … No. I can’t let you carry on like this. What happened, Jared? I thought you only worked on the willing. JARED: … What? Says who? […] Anyway: willing, unwilling; don’t work like that anymore, does it? You made sure of that. MARTIN: That’s… not fair. JARED: And what? MARTIN: I… JARED: [CRACK] MARTIN: I, uh… JARED: So what? Don’t really matter now, does it? ARCHIVIST: … No. [INHALE] No, it doesn’t.

After all, if avatars could hypothetically survive without causing much pain to “unwilling” people, it would mean that Jon might be able to sustain himself in another way than by terrorising “unwilling” people. It just feels a bit surprising, indeed, that it would still be a concern of Jon’s (a preoccupation that followed him for the entirety of season 4)… given that they’re in the apocalypse right now. But there is also still the underlying question of what would happen to people, and to Jon himself, if the apocalypse was to be undone and, even regardless of this, the fact that Jon seems to be evaluating which avatars “deserve” to get smote.

I mostly wonder: if they hadn’t walked on Jared causing even more pain to people, and if Jared had been more passive in the garden, would Jon have spared him? Jon presented it as his reason for smiting him, but I’m… really not sure it was his actual one…

(- Jared’s jokes… “Not like I was doing it out of the goodness of my heart. [SNORT] Hearts.”…

We knew he canonically had Many, Melanie had mentioned it:

(MAG131) MELANIE: I stabbed him in three different hearts. Didn’t work. If you want to go hunting for a fourth, knock yourself out.

But that joke… Jared, please.)

- I know there were many screams about homophobic Jared in the fandom, but personally:

(MAG171) JARED: Oh! And who’s this? Your boyfriend? MARTIN: Hum– ARCHIVIST: Yes. Actually. JARED: Oh. [A BIRD’S CHIRP FALLS FLAT] Mm. … So, is there any way this doesn’t end in me dead?

… I heard it as either “Jared would have said that anyway if one of them had been a woman” and/or Jared was Shooting His Shot with Martin.

- Jon&Martin Are Together, season 5 edition:

(MAG161) ARCHIVIST: No, it’s– [SIGH] I love you, I just… I need more time.

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: “The screams may linger on the distant breeze, and your eye may wander beyond the curtains from time to time, but you and the one you love are, it seems… safe. […] There within the thing that pretends to be a cabin is the one you love. […] The one you love is always near, so close that refuge sometimes feels a prison.

(MAG164) ARCHIVIST: What do you want. HELEN: To say hello! And check up on the happy couple~ [LAUGHS AND LAUGHS, ECHOING] ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] HELEN: I always knew you crazy kids would make it work!

(MAG167) MARTIN: Ssso. If you say Gertrude wouldn’t have been able to go on without a reason… ARCHIVIST: Yes, Martin, you are my reason. MARTIN: Just wanted to make you say it…!

(MAG170) MARTIN: I’m… I’m in love, eh! I am in love, and I will not forget that, I will – not – forget. I am Martin Black–

(MAG171) JARED: Not really, but… whatever. … Oh! And who’s this? Your boyfriend? MARTIN: Hum– ARCHIVIST: Yes. Actually.

(+ Technically, Jude’s “valet”: it was derogatory, but at the same time… her own frame of reference was her devotion for Agnes as a god/woman, so.)

- Martin, polite boy who says “Please” and manages to get what he wanted:

(MAG171) JARED: Right. So are we doing this or what? I reckon I can get a few good hits in before I go down. Give you a little something to remember me by. ARCHIVIST: … No you won’t. JARED: [HUFF] No. Maybe not. But you’ve gotta try, haven’t you? MARTIN: Please don’t. JARED: What? MARTIN: You’ve already made your mark. [SILENCE] [WINDCHIME IN THE BACKGROUND] JARED: [THROATY LAUGH] Fine. Consider it a favour.

(Also, really laughing that Martin is canonically “little”. At least to Jared (“Don’t fret yourself, little man.”), which, uh, might not actually say much.)

- :D The return of Jon reminding Martin to not touch dangerous stuff!

(MAG113) MARTIN: Ooh! Ooh! There’s a book in this one. ARCHIVIST: [HASTILY] Don’t… touch it! MARTIN: Ooh… OH! Right. Yes. ARCHIVIST: Let’s… not touch any books we don’t know. MARTIN: Right. ARCHIVIST: Step back.

(MAG165) ARCHIVIST: Either way, best not to actually climb onto the thing, if we could help it. MARTIN: Fine – by – me, eh! Never really liked merry-go-rounds anyway.

(MAG171) ARCHIVIST: Don’t – touch – anything. MARTIN: I wasn’t planning to, uh…! Are they still… alive?

Martin…

- Martin stayed for the “statement”! They learned from MAG170, to prevent him from getting lost again, uh…

- Technically, we didn’t “learn” anything new regarding Jon-in-the-new-world: he admitted since the season 5 trailer that to some part of him, the horror felt “right”. He mentioned that “guilt” was protecting him from embracing the things he was made to experience. We know he consumes fears, is fed by it. There have been multiple jabs from avatars about how Jon is tailored for this world because of his connection to The Eye and/or his role as “Archivist”(/Archive) and/or as the tool used to bring the apocalypse, leading him to be at his peak in the current events – in control, above all other avatars, all-knowing:

(MAG160, Jonah Magnus) “Don’t worry, Jon. You’ll get used to it here – in the world that we have made.”

(Season 5 trailer) MARTIN: Are you still… [SIGH] “feeling it”? Seeing everything? ARCHIVIST: Yes, I, I’m trying not to, but… all of the fear, th–the anguish, i–it just… [INHALE] It keeps coming at me in waves, rolling over me, filling my head with such… awful sights. MARTIN: … I’m sorry. That sounds… [SMALL EXHALE] That sounds horrible. ARCHIVIST: … I wish it was, Martin. I really wish it was. … But it feels… right. [MIRTHLESS HUFF]

(MAG161) ARCHIVIST: … Besides… G… [SHAKY EXHALE] Grief… is healthy. I–if nothing else, it pushes away the other feelings that that… thing wants me to experience.

(MAG163) MARTIN: … How do you know all this stuff? [SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: Not sure…! I just do.

(MAG164) MARTIN: A–alright, but… but how do you know that– ARCHIVIST: I just do. I just know it. [SILENCE] [SHUFFLING] MARTIN: You’ve been knowing a lot lately. ARCHIVIST: … Yes. MARTIN: A lot more than you used to. ARCHIVIST: Y… [SIGH] Yeah. And it, it feels more… deliberate. L–like I have more control now. MARTIN: Okay. So… how much can you see? What else do you know? ARCHIVIST: Uh… Maybe everything…! MARTIN: What’d you mean, “everything”? ARCHIVIST: I don’t… Ask me a question. O–one I can’t… possibly know already. […] HELEN: Hello, Jon! [FOOTSTEPS] [THE DOOR CREAKS CLOSE] ARCHIVIST: [INHALE] How did you find us? HELEN: Oh! I thought you’d know everything by this point. […] And please: my name is “Helen”. ARCHIVIST: Like you said, I can know everything now. Including how much of a lie that really is. HELEN: Don’t mistake “complication” for “falsehood”, dear Archivist.

(MAG165) MARTIN: But. You said we needed to go through these places. … Is that even going to work here? ARCHIVIST: Uh… [EXHALE] We need to go through them… metaphorically. MARTIN: Mm… ! ARCHIVIST: Psychologically, we need to… “experience” them.

(MAG166) HELEN: We’re all here, Martin. The Stranger; The Buried; The Desolation; all of us. But The Eye still rules. All this fear is being performed for its benefit. And so, there are now exactly two roles available in this new world of ours: the watcher, and the watched. Subject, and object. Those who are feared, and those who are afraid. And Jon, well… he is part of The Eye; a very important part. And he’s able to, shall we say… shift its focus. Turn the one into the other. And for those of us whose very existence relies on being feared, well… To be turned into a victim destroys us utterly. And very, very painfully.

(MAG168, Oliver Banks) ARCHIVIST: “This report is being sent to: [STATIC FADES] The Great Eye, that watches all who linger in terror, and gorges itself on the sufferings of those under its unrelenting, stuporous gaze! And its Archive, which draws knowledge of this suffering unto itself.”

(MAG169) JUDE: You’re not scared, though, are you, Archivist? ARCHIVIST: … I can feel the pain of every person you have trapped here. My own isn’t all that different. JUDE: Yeah, but you like seeing their pain, don’t you? Their fear? ARCHIVIST: … Yes. JUDE: You and that stupid Eye, god, you make me sick! Lording it over everybody like you own the place? You’re just leeches, voyeurs, parasites on the real monsters. […] Oooh, I see! I get it. You finally get a sniff of power, and the first thing you do is try to settle some old scores. MARTIN: [LOUDER COUGHS] JUDE: Play the big man, get off on good old-fashioned petty revenge~! […] I’m happy in this world. I belong here. And so do you. MARTIN: [COUGHS] [STATIC RISING: LOW AND SPIRALLING, PRESSURING] JUDE: Uh! Listen… Listen… [BREATHLESS CHUCKLING] You’re enjoying this, right? ‘Course you are! You want to use those powers of yours to hurt people, you want to murder everybody who can’t fight back at you now? I can help you…! [DIGITAL GLITCHING SOUNDS] MARTIN: Just DIE already!! JUDE: You’re… not… better… than… me! [SCREAMS]

(MAG171) ARCHIVIST: It takes a skilled gardener to get them to grow like this. The curling, cascading intricacies of collagen and marrow… it takes devotion. MARTIN: Jon. [FOOTSTEPS STOP] [WHIMPERS IN THE BACKGROUND] ARCHIVIST: … S–sorry. MARTIN: You sound like you think they’re beautiful. [FOOTSTEPS RESUME] ARCHIVIST: Don’t you? [SILENCE] […] JARED: Anyway: willing, unwilling; don’t work like that anymore, does it? You made sure of that. MARTIN: That’s… not fair. JARED: And what? MARTIN: I… JARED: [CRACK] MARTIN: I, uh… JARED: So what? Don’t really matter now, does it? ARCHIVIST: … No. [INHALE] No, it doesn’t. […] JARED: [LONG MEATY INHALE, EXHALE] Cheers for that! ARCHIVIST: … Don’t. MARTIN: Jon, are you… alright? ARCHIVIST: Yeah, hum… Sorry. MARTIN: No, it, it’s alright. JARED: Is it really that bad? Seeing what I’ve done here? Or… uh! Is it maybe that deep down, you think it’s as beautiful as I do? ARCHIVIST: Shut up! [WINDCHIME IN THE BACKGROUND] JARED: It’s a shame…! Who’s gonna look after the garden when I’m gone? There are a few real pretty ones. Who knows: maybe they’ll uproot and start landscaping themselves…! That’d be nice. Then again, maybe it’ll just grow wild. ARCHIVIST: I don’t care. JARED: … No. You don’t, do you? ARCHIVIST: … I can’t… There’s too many. I can’t save everyone. [EXHALE] I c–, I can’t save anyone.

Jon judging that something terrifying was “beautiful” is not new: he described the Dark Sun that way… but then he was at his peak of Beholding!avatar-casually-traumatising-innocents. Right now, I’m concerned about the mix of little slips (Jon implying the garden was “beautiful” and describing it with ravishment, almost falling into statement-mode even though there was no static yet), Jon’s reluctance to try and intervene from the start, and the fact he sounds like he’s… lost hope of doing anything worthwhile or good for the situation. He was defiant and a bit hopeful back when they left the cabin (“Gertrude didn’t think so. […] But she’s dead. Let’s find out for ourselves.”) and that part seems to be eroding. We know that the statements seem to be affecting him (Martin noticed something afterwards, and was concerned again after the smiting) but I’m fearing that Jon is currently losing himself a bit, at least in… forgetting to reject the things that used to disgust him. Re-traumatisation, re-desensibilisation as they’re going through all the domains? If it’s the case, in what state will Jon reach the Panopticon…

- I’m a bit squinting at Jon’s wording here:

Because it seems to me that Jon was implying that he could, in theory, save people from the domains, on a case-by-case basis? He didn’t say it was impossible per se: he first said there were “too many”, and that he couldn’t save “everyone”, before concluding that he couldn’t save “anyone”. But he managed with Martin! (I don’t think that it could work in practice: the world is now ruled by the Fears, so “freeing” someone from a Fear would likely just lead to them getting caught by another domain, or dying/disappearing/collapsing because they can’t sustain themself, etc. But, in theory, it felt like Jon was admitting that he might have the power to save punctual people with his powers?)

Jon has pointed out to Martin, multiples times, that they were in-between the domains and that it wasn’t worth it to try and interact with people. Although he has been interacting with avatars, Jon has been very reluctant to even try to do this with regular people, or even to know what was happening to them once they had left the domains:

(MAG163) ARCHIVIST: I–ignore them, they’re not… Just ignore them. MARTIN: … They’re not… real? [VOICES SHOUTING IN THE DISTANCE] ARCHIVIST: [MIRTHLESS CHUCKLING] No…! They’re real; they were… normal people before the– … Before me. But now they’re here, meat for the grinder. I just mean there’s no point… talking to them. MARTIN: Don’t be a prick, Jon. Hey! I’m, I’m sorry about him. He’s–he’s going through a lot – well… we all are, I suppose, but well… “Hi”, I guess. [SILENCE] Hello? ARCHIVIST: They won’t hear you, Martin, they’re all… too busy waiting to die. […] MARTIN: What’re you doing here? [PLASTIC RATTLING] It’s dangerous. Could… get yourself blown up, like all these poor… [PLASTIC RATTLING] Who d’you think they were? Really don’t see why they can’t just… go round, picked a better place to… [STEPS THROUGH LIQUID] [SIGH] I guess there… aren’t really any “better” places anymore, are there? [STEPS THROUGH LIQUID] It’s all this. Or worse, or… or different.

(MAG164) ARCHIVIST: We’re fine. MARTIN: A–are we? I mean, that place is– … I don’t, I don’t feel fine, okay, and you were there a long time doing your… y–you–your guidebook, which, you know, I get it, but that place is… I–it’s–it’s infectious, and, I don’t– ARCHIVIST: We’re not infected, Martin, that place, it– … It isn’t for us. […] MARTIN: Are we safe, traveling like this? ARCHIVIST: Yes… Yes, sort of, we’re… I don’t know how to phrase it, we’re… something between a pilgrim and a moth. We can walk through these little worlds of terror, watching them; separate, and untouched. MARTIN: [NERVOUS CHUCKLING] That’s not as comforting as you might think. ARCHIVIST: I like it better than the alternative…!

(MAG165) MARTIN: What about the merry-go-round? With her gone, is it, is it still th– ARCHIVIST: I–I don’t know! MARTIN: [CHUCKLING] Yes you do! ARCHIVIST: I–I don’t… want to know, plea– We need to go. [BAG JOSTLING] Please.

(MAG169) MARTIN: Oh, it’s not just your revenge though, is it? Destroying her… it would help all those people in there, wouldn’t it? ARCHIVIST: … Maybe? It’s… [INHALE] Like I said, I can’t see the future. It wouldn’t free them, if that’s what you’re asking. “Free” doesn’t really exist in this place. MARTIN: Apart from us. ARCHIVIST: I suppose. I–in a sense, though… [CHUCKLING] how much of that is because we are trapped in our own quest to– MARTIN: Okay, let’s, let’s not dive into another… ontological debate right now, not here.

(MAG171) JARED: It’s a shame…! Who’s gonna look after the garden when I’m gone? There are a few real pretty ones. Who knows: maybe they’ll uproot and start landscaping themselves…! That’d be nice. Then again, maybe it’ll just grow wild. ARCHIVIST: I don’t care. JARED: … No. You don’t, do you? ARCHIVIST: … I can’t… There’s too many. I can’t save everyone. [EXHALE] I c–, I can’t save anyone. JARED: If you say so. … So. I guess that just leaves revenge, then, don’t it? Can’t say I blame you. That’s all life is, really, innit? Just people using each other up. ARCHIVIST: Spare me the crude philosophy. […] MARTIN: But all the people inside? ARCHIVIST: Killing Nolan wouldn’t have made it stop. It would just leave… unsupervised. MARTIN: Mm. [MOANS OF PAIN IN THE BACKGROUND] [WINDCHIME IN THE BACKGROUND] [SILENCE] ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] MARTIN: Jon. We are… doing good, right? Making things better? ARCHIVIST: … I don’t know if that was… ever an option.

… Technically, Jon could have known already in MAG169 what happened to an “unsupervised” domain – since it had happened already with the Not!Them. Why the reluctance to know about that? (I’m mostly wondering if there is a non-negligible Beholding part of Jon just plain refusing to make Fearful Resources disappear, thus him not even trying to improve people’s situations overall… Smiting avatars is providing a new form of fear, of entertainment to The Eye: it’s a novelty, something unique, the Feared made Fearful! It seemed good, in theory, to erase avatars from existence, but in the end… it’s still feeding The Eye, since the apocalypse is still running.)

- >w< Sobbing a bit about that exchange:

(MAG171) MARTIN: Jon! ARCHIVIST: Mm? MARTIN: I need to ask you something. ARCHIVIST: Okay. MARTIN: I meant to ask. A–after the fire, actually? But, well… Then was the house and everything, and it just sort of– ARCHIVIST: What is it, Martin? MARTIN: … Why didn’t we go after the landlord guy, in the tenement? ARCHIVIST: Arthur Nolan? MARTIN: Yeah. He’s still there, right? ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] After Jude, th–the fires, I… I didn’t want to put you through anymore. MARTIN: [EXASPERATED SIGH] Don’t do that. ARCHIVIST: What? MARTIN: Don’t use me as an excuse. ARCHIVIST: I, I’m not! I just… It didn’t seem worth it. I didn’t… hate him, like I hated her. He never hurt me. MARTIN: But all the people inside? ARCHIVIST: Killing Nolan wouldn’t have made it stop. It would just leave it… unsupervised. MARTIN: Mm.

… since it could be two different things, although not contradictory. It could stem from Martin’s own issues regarding his self-worth (refusing to think that Jon could try to accommodate Martin out of love/worry/care for him), and/or… Martin being spot-on about Jon’s tendency to hide himself, hide his actual motivations and feelings behind “more acceptable” pretences.

Jon lies and Jon hides, including to and from himself. That’s a thing he’s been shown to do when afraid and/or ashamed. He spent a good part of season 4 trying to convince himself that The Web or Beholding were manipulating him into attacking innocents, without leaving him any choice – and he still displayed the choices of going out for walks, going out for a coffee, not warning anyone that it was happening behind their backs. It could be the same thing: Jon trying to rationalise his own actions, because he’s pushed by a new influence, that he doesn’t fully acknowledge. Martin is suspicious, at least, so I really hope that it will lead to him acting on it – re-evaluating the “use” of the smiting plan, which is now officially only for “revenge” and feels hollower and hollower every time? Martin pushed him in that direction, so whether Jon is simply following Martin’s moral stance (because he doesn’t trust his own) or actually compelled by Beholding or something, it clearly feels like a mistake by now. Martin, you’re his anchor, say something! ;w;

(At the very least, I don’t think they’ll be as straightforward with Jonah: if the smiting feels unsatisfying now, there is no way it would feel fulfilling with him at the Panopticon.)

- Compilation of Jon’s stance about the different avatars since the apocalypse, and how the smiting proceeded:

(MAG162) MARTIN: Look, Jon, I… I, I know it hurts, but you’ve just got to… ARCHIVIST: No, no, lo–look… I, I–I was listening, and I–I was filled with this… hatred. This anger; I–I wanted to leave, and hunt down Elias, a–and…! MARTIN: W–wow, okay…

(MAG164) HELEN: I’m afraid the Archivist is too powerful now. ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] HELEN: If he tried to travel through my corridors, it would not go well, for any of us. ARCHIVIST: But mainly for you. HELEN: Ouuh! [CHUCKLE] Is that a threat? ARCHIVIST: No. HELEN: Mm! Pity.

(MAG165) ARCHIVIST: … What did you say? [STATIC RISING: LOW AND SPIRALLING, PRESSURING] NOT!SASHA: [SHAKY BREATHES] I’m–I’m sorry… MARTIN: Jon? ARCHIVIST: You were wrong, you know. NOT!SASHA: [GASPS] [STATIC INCREASES] ARCHIVIST: There is more suffering than you can ever experience, so much more. The horror of your victims… NOT!SASHA: [CRIES OF PAIN] ARCHIVIST: Their constant, senseless agony… NOT!SASHA: [CRIES OF PAIN] [STATIC INCREASES] ARCHIVIST: Feel it now. Understand it. You have drawn out so much despair, and now finally, it’s your turn. [STATIC INCREASES] [DIGITAL GLITCHING SOUNDS] Ceaseless Watcher, turn your gaze upon this wretched thing! [STATIC INCREASES, WITH MORE PRESSURE] NOT!SASHA: No! No… Please, no…! [DIGITAL BURSTING, RIPPING SOUNDS] NOT!SASHA: [FADING] No…! [STATIC DECREASES AND FADES] ARCHIVIST: [PANTS] MARTIN: … Whoa–oh–oh! ARCHIVIST: I, uh… MARTIN: What was that?!

(MAG168) MARTIN: So, you… gonna smite him, then? ARCHIVIST: … Hum… MARTIN: Jon? … Jon, I said: are you going to sm– ARCHIVIST: I heard you the first time. MARTIN: And? ARCHIVIST: I… I don’t know…! MARTIN: W-Why not? Can’t you just do what you did what that “Sasha-thing”, make The Eye see him and all that? ARCHIVIST: I–I could, I think. MARTIN: … Cool, so what’s the problem then? Take another monster off the hit list, job done. ARCHIVIST: I–it’s not… that simple? […] I just, I don’t think he’s… [SIGH] I don’t know, I don’t think he’s evil. [CREAKING SOUND] MARTIN: Oh, yeah, sure, he’s probably a really kind, benevolent ruler of a hellish fear prison…! ARCHIVIST: It’s just… He helped me. Wh–when I was… He woke me up. […] Who knows – maybe he’ll try to stop us getting through the roots, and I’ll have to! MARTIN: Mm. ARCHIVIST: But I’m not going to… seek him out. At the very least, he’s earned not having me hunt him down. MARTIN: Fine. I suppose that’s… reasonable. ARCHIVIST: Now, if you’re quite done inciting me to murder? […] I… I feel… [FOOTSTEPS] No. I don’t want to destroy Oliver Banks. It wouldn’t do any good. I know that, and he never asked for this any more than I did. I feel badly for those that exist in his domain, o–of course, I do, but… At least, their suffering will be over, eventually. I can’t destroy everyone I cross paths with, it… [SIGH] No. If Oliver will not seek me out, then… I will leave him be. [TINY CHUCKLES] The avatar of Death… shall live. Martin’s going to be thrilled…!

(MAG169) MARTIN: … Right. [DISTANT SOUND OF SOMETHING COLLAPSING] Right… I just assumed this would be… Who was that landlord guy? ARCHIVIST: Arthur Nolan. He’s here, he has a… part of it, but it’s… huge. […] I… Oh, right. I–I want revenge on Jude Perry. I want to… “smite” her. Make her feel what… [SIGH] what all her victims have felt. But I’m not willing to force you to suffer for it. […] [STATIC RISES] ARCHIVIST: I’d have thought that was a mindset you would appreciate. [STATIC INCREASES] Now, feel it! All the terror and pain you’ve inflicted. JUDE: Oh, piss off– [PAINED GASP] … [STRAINED] Look, look. Wait, right? I’m sorry, okay? I… shouldn’t have burned your hand. […] [STATIC RISING: LOW AND SPIRALLING, PRESSURING] Uh! Listen… Listen… [BREATHLESS CHUCKLING] You’re enjoying this, right? ‘Course you are! You want to use those powers of yours to hurt people, you want to murder everybody who can’t fight back at you now? I can help you…! [DIGITAL GLITCHING SOUNDS] MARTIN: Just DIE already!! JUDE: You’re… not… better… than… me! [SCREAMS] [DIGITAL BURSTING, RIPPING SOUNDS] [STATIC DECREASES AND FADES] MARTIN: [COUGH] [PANTING] Is it…? ARCHIVIST: It’s over. … She’s gone.

(MAG171) [STATIC RISES] JARED: Grow well, my darlings. Grow well. [STATIC INCREASES: LOW AND SPIRALLING, PRESSURING] ARCHIVIST: Feel it. JARED: [MEATY HISS] ARCHIVIST: Feel all the terror and despair as your garden grows. Let it flow through you, and blossom! [MEATY SOUNDS] JARED: [GROANS] ARCHIVIST: Just people, using each other up! [DIGITAL GLITCHING SOUNDS] Ceaseless Watcher, turn your gaze upon this thing and drink – your – fill! JARED: [GROANS] [MEATY SOUNDS] [DIGITAL BURSTING, RIPPING SOUNDS] [STATIC DECREASES AND FADES] [WINDCHIME IN THE BACKGROUND] ARCHIVIST: [GASPS AND PANTS] MARTIN: [SOFTLY] … Jon? ARCHIVIST: I’m here. MARTIN: Are you okay? [MOAN OF PAIN IN THE BACKGROUND] ARCHIVIST: I’m… great. You? […] MARTIN: I meant to ask. A–after the fire, actually? But, well… Then was the house and everything, and it just sort of– ARCHIVIST: What is it, Martin? MARTIN: … Why didn’t we go after the landlord guy, in the tenement? ARCHIVIST: Arthur Nolan? MARTIN: Yeah. He’s still there, right? ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] After Jude, th–the fires, I… I didn’t want to put you through anymore. […] I just… It didn’t seem worth it. I didn’t… hate him, like I hated her. He never hurt me. MARTIN: But all the people inside? ARCHIVIST: Killing Nolan wouldn’t have made it stop. It would just leave… unsupervised. MARTIN: Mm.

* Jon invoked the “Ceaseless Watcher” both with the Not!Them and Jared. It’s not absolutely unheard of, but he only called it that way once in season 4; usually, he goes more with “The Eye” or “(the) Beholding”. “Ceaseless Watcher” definitely feels more ceremonial and… reminiscent of Elias marvelling about Jon’s dreams in MAG120. So, really, when Jon does the smiting, it doesn’t feel like he’s doing it for himself – but mostly as a sacrifice to his patron? It felt even worst with Jared and Jon’s “drink – your – fill!” since… yeah, The Eye is feeding from the act, uh.

* ;; Reminder that The Eye wanted Jon to leave the cabin in MAG162 (“This place wishes to be our tomb. But The Eye does not wish that. No. [STATIC INCREASES] The Eye wishes instead that it be my chrysalis.”). Which means that Jon is supposed to be evolving… towards another state of being, once again, and something that would please The Eye.

* Jon mentioned “anger” and “hatred” about Jonah and Jude, and although understandable… it also doesn’t really feel fulfilling when there is only that. Hatred/Anger, turning into violence, smiting, and then that’s it. It doesn’t change or solve anything.

* It feels like an escalation: Jon spontaneously killed the Not!Them, went after Jude on purpose, and sought out Jared… who offered reparation. Who offered to give Jon’s rib back, and Jon discarded the idea right away:

(MAG171) JARED: I can guess. Took a bit to figure out which rib was aching. But when I did… well. Obvious, really. [OMINOUS SHIFTING, CRACKING AND POPPING] Why shouldn’t you want it back? ARCHIVIST: [SHARP EXHALE] It’s too late for that now…! JARED: Not really, but… whatever.

There is a huuuge contrast between what Jude and Jared had each done to Jon: Jude found him “annoying” so she hurt him, and told Jon that she still would have done it had she known it would help to bring this apocalypse. Jared… only removed Jon’s two ribs because Jon had asked him to (for his own benefit! To get an anchor to save Daisy, and to get Jared’s statement!). And Jared was still offering to give it back.

It’s not about the violence that is exerted on victims: Oliver was torturing Danika, Arthur Nolan (who is apparently definitely not dead, oh.) had been shown torturing and sacrificing innocent people in the past. It’s not about avatars who casually hurt Jon just because they could: Jared and Jon had made a deal, Jon had come to him for a service.

… But the thing that all three of the Not!Them, Jude and Jared share is that they all contributed to Jon’s marks. As following Jonah’s recap:

(MAG160, Jonah Magnus) “The discovery that one of The Stranger’s minions had infiltrated the Institute in the aftermath was certainly a pleasant bonus. Even if that sliver of paranoia, that “vague wrongness” you couldn’t quite place wouldn’t count as a mark… it was only a matter of time before it confronted you in a far more direct, and affecting, manner. Admittedly, given the advent of The Unknowing, I needn’t have bothered – but what’s the old saying about hindsight? […] Jude served her purpose exactly as I had hoped, as did our dearly departed Mr Crew – marking you for The Desolation, and The Vast. […] I was a little put out when that idiot Jared Hopworth misinterpreted my letters and attacked the Institute too soon, before you were even out of the hospital, but then… Oh! You should have seen my face, when you voluntarily went to him. I couldn’t see what happened in there, of course, but given how you came out, I’m very sure it counts as a mark.”

Arthur didn’t mark Jon. Oliver didn’t mark Jon either – Jon was marked by The End during his coma, Oliver only brought him back from it. The Distortion… marked Jon as “Michael” technically (though it’s still The Distortion as “Helen”). Jane Prentiss, Mike Crew and Peter Lukas are already dead. The Buried and The Dark marked Jon through the Coffin and the Dark Sun; The Web through the Mr. Spider book.

… Which leaves, for potential upcoming smiting targets:

* The Distortion, if “Helen” counts.

* … Jonah for Beholding, since he made Jon sign up to become The Archivist.

* … Melanie for The Slaughter (although she has shaken it off)

* ……………………………. Daisy for The Hunt.

If Jon is indeed going after avatars who marked him, that leaves the question of Jon’s degree of control over his own actions. Is he going after them consciously? Is he trying to “unmark” himself, to exercise some degree of control over his current state by getting his revenge over the avatars who made the apocalypse possible, regardless of their willingness for it? Is something else pushing him to do that, and he only rationalising his actions?

I’m super worried for Melanie and Daisy right now ;;

(And very interested for Jon’s reaction if they stumble on Simon. Jon didn’t want to meet him, Simon liked Martin a lot, Simon didn’t mark Jon and didn’t interact with him so far… So it could go in many ways.)

No conviction regarding MAG172’s title, but I’m mostly thinking Vast, Simon in particular? It could work very well for Web, too, but I’m still expecting Web for last brefore the Panopticon (then again… I wasn’t expecting The Lonely so soon either and we’ve already checked off that one).

The second meaning could… refer to a certain item we’ve already heard of, and/or to Jon’s current streak of smiting combined with the way he’s (over)fed by this world, I guess? ;;

#the magnus archives #tma season 5 #mag171 #tma liveblog #tma spoilers/#long post/

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charliebattinson · 6 years

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BEST FRIENDS? | Best Friend! Shawn [BP] Part 1 | Shawn Mendes

A/N: Hello! I’m splitting this thing into two parts because it was so long haha. I just had so many ideas!! Honestly i’m such a sucker for the “best friends to lovers” trope it may be cliche as hell but it’s my fave. Part 2 has more of a storyline to it just in bullet point form! Also wanna thank @siennarossi, @innocent-before-mendes and @i-keep-craving-craving for advice and for helping me out! Hope you enjoy! Feedback is appreciated! Have a lovely day! ♡♡♡

☆ Read Part 2 here ☆

You moved to pickering when you were a kid and met Shawn when you were 4

He was your neighbor

Bedrooms facing each other

You always thought how stupid he looked trying to climb the tree that was impossible to climb at his age

Since you were new to town when you went to school you knew nobody

Playtime came and you saw shawn by the sandbox playing by himself

You walk to him and asked if you can play together

He was so shy "okay" red cheeks and all

Everything just hit off after that

You guys were attached to the hip

Walking to school holding hands or seating beside each other on the school bus

Some girls from school wanted to play with you and you were so happy to make more friends that you brought shawn with you but the girls said they don't play with boys

"But shawn goes with me wherever i go"

"I guess you can't play with us"

You ditch them for Shawn

“I’ll play your barbie dolls with you y/n”

Wouldn't it be cute to imagine when your parents open the door and look down to see kid shawn in his squeaky voice “Good afternoon Ms. y/l/n! Is y/n there?"

You guys loved watching barney together and singing the theme song

Role playing power rangers and pretending to be fighting each other

Till that one time you accidentally punched Shawn in the face and his nose bled

You always attend each other’s birthday parties and you always need each other by your side before blowing your birthday cake

You play husband wife sometimes

“y/n when were older im going to marry you”

“why shawn” “cause you’re my best friend”

Riding bikes together

Getting boo boos and helping each other out with the wound

“Here’s a bandaid Shawn it’s the barbie one”

Eating ice cream by the front porch

PLAYGROUND PLAYDATES

Giggling to each other while your both on the swings

Sometimes when there’s only one swing left Shawn would offer it to you and he’d start pushing your swing

Lots and lots of videos of you two when you were kids

Halloween time is always a fun time for the both of you because you guys to get to do matching costumes

One year would be you as Mario and Shawn as Luigi with the matching mustaches

“Hey how come you get to be Mario?” “Because I’m cooler Shawn”

another time would be Kim possible and Ron stoppable

another time as Spongebob and Patrick

then ferris and cameron from ferris bueller’s day off but no one ever really got who you were dressing up as that year

and that one time in school where you thought everyone was going to be wearing halloween costumes turns out only and shawn did

Horror movie marathons every halloween

You remember the time Shawn screamed like a girl

“Y/N please don’ tell anyone”

When its Christmas you would go out and make the weirdest looking snowman, snow angels, drinking hot cocoa, baking cookies for santa and opening presents while trying to stay up late and wait for Santa Claus to come out

“My father is the actual santa claus??” “You’re so dumb Shawn”

School plays together!!! Like little mermaid where you played a fish and shawn played a lobster

One of your school plays was also King Arthur

You were a local villager and shawn was the village idiot

Coloring coloring books together

Going to camp together during the summer

11 year old Shawn would be sporting braces and you would make fun of him when he got it

“HAHAHAHAHAHA LOOK AT YOUR METAL MOUTH”

“shawn close your mouth you’re blinding me”

You were a little bit taller than him at that age

You guys would constantly call each other names the kiddish kind

“TOE LICKER” “BUTT SNIFFER” “ONION BREATHE”

He would freak out when he sees your bra laying on the bed

But would also be there for you when you start to panic when you finally get your period

“you aren’t going to die y/n. please your making me scared what if you die, i’m gonna be all alone”

shawn gets so scared when you say a bad word by accident

“Y/n you know we’re not supposed to be saying bad words or we’ll go to hell”

You’re both appalled by kissing when your parents do it or when you’re watching a movie

“EWWWWWWWWWWW” “YUUCK”

“COOTIES EW”

“okay class! go and pick a partner”

🌚 🌝

Your whole family knows Shawn. Shawn’s whole family knows you

Uncles, aunts, cousins and grandparents. THEY ALL KNOW SHAWN.

Your family is so familiar to having Shawn around the house so when he’s not there they ask “where’s Shawn?”

High school rolls in and you’re both invited to your first ever high school party

“Y/n do I wear a tux to these parties?” “Idiot”

He ended up wearing Capri shorts and his Birkenstocks

“Please tell me you aren’t wearing socks with your birkenstocks” “well…”

You play 7 minutes in heaven and shawn goes in with a girl

When he goes out, the girl looks so weirded out by shawn

“Well..what happened?”

“She was leaning for a kiss and I got nervous I just screamed at her”

you try alcohol for the first time together in your room; you raided wine in your parents collection

you both spit it out right after

“POISON!!!”

16 year old you is wondering how tall Shawn got over the summer because you have to tilt your head up to look at him

He’s also gotten cuter over the summer no more braces and thank god he stopped wearing those birkenstocks

he’s still wearing those baggy khaki pants

The insults have upgraded

“You stupid lanky dickhead” “fuck you y/n”

You both swear like sailors now

You’re by your lockers and he just salsa dances and sing songs “look who got an A on chemistry byotch”

You’re both each other’s first kiss you rather have it be your best friend than be it someone else who won’t matter in a couple of years

Also for practice because Shawn ’s been pinning over some chick named Stephanie the whole freshman year

“Come on y/n so you can tell me if I suck or not”

He sucked

“YOU KISSED ME LIKE IM A CPR DUMMY”

Sleepovers at each other’s houses

passing notes in between classes, shawn wanting to play tic tac toe

Doing homework together

Copying each other’s homework

“Pssst shawn what’s the answer to no. 5?”

“I was gonna ask you that!”

“fuck”

Shawn going up your window late at night because he’s tall enough to finally climb the tree

but also the idiot tried doing a stunt and ended up bringing down one of your pipes down with him

you guys would meet each other by the window to say good night

sometimes when he knows you feel bad he would stare at your window and write down a note saying “are you okay?” or “feel better”

You attended junior prom together

“Look at you Shawn looking so fancy in that tux”

You see Shawn’s cheeks redden “thanks y/n you look pretty”

You try to pin his boutonnière and he keeps joking around that you pricked his skin

Till you actually pricked his skin cause he was moving around too much “idiot”

Ditched after a while cause it was getting boring, you both just headed out to the local diner and ordered milkshakes

For senior prom, you had to find a date because Shawn asked someone else; you were a little sad because you’re just used to you and Shawn doing everything together

Watching the schools football games together by the bleachers

They made shawn the school mascot

“it is a sauna inside here and i can’t fucking see anything”

always going together to high school parties

fist bumping to levels by avicii (beacause it was a bop at that time tbh)

asking each others approval when you find someone hot

constructing each other’s sentences before hitting send to your crush

there’s a girl that likes shawn and she’s very confident and flirting around with him and shawn just mumbles trying to talk to her “yeah ugh no yeah totally but ugh yeah no”

You’re just watching him trying your hardest not to laugh

“pathetic”

Giving each other tips on making a move

“I watched that movie hitch and they said that if a girl lingers by the front door it means she wants you to kiss her”

“Shawn you gotta stop screaming at a girl when they try to go near you”

You tell each other who you lost your virginity to and judging so hard

“WHY BECKY?” “Sleeping simon are you serious?”

Also being each other’s person to look for support and comfort whenver you’re feeling down

Shawn would get your favorite ice cream and listen to you on your bed cuddled up to him”

“Hey shawn i got your favorite muffins. Please tell me what’s wrong with you”

Shawn would tell you to leave him alone under the covers and you would just go under the covers

Being lab partners

Shawn making you laugh when he does an impersonation of professor fink with his lab coat and goggles

“Well according to my calculations..”

GRADUATION DAY

You would be cheering for each other when you both get on stage

“LETS GO Y/N LETS GO!!!”

“THAT’S MY BEST FRIEND RIGHT THERE”

Shawn would just blast “SCHOOLS OUT FOR SUMMER” on his jeep on your way to your graduation party

He wore a fucking vest and a casual tie with converse to the party

“A vest shawn? Really?”

”yolo y/n yolo”

Booze is present and you both have had a bit too much

You see Shawn standing up on the table dancing to Daft Punk’s One More Time

You push Shawn into the pool but he’s quick to grab you leaving both of you underwater

Going to the park after and riding the swings just like when you were kids

Figuring out what colleges to apply to

both of you just staring at your acceptance letters

“Open yours first” “No! You open yours first”

“FINE I’LL READ YOURS, YOU READ MINE”

Jumping because you both got in

Luckily you both wanted to go to the same college with just different courses so the long distance friendship is off the books

You’re headed off to college to fix your dorm rooms

Shawn would be in such a school spirit he’s already wearing the college hat and hoodie

Shawn just starts playing “everybody lets go” song from dora the explorer in the car

“Here we go...”

☆ Read part 2 here ☆

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes smut #shawn mendes imagine #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes blurb #illuminate tour #magcon #magcon tour #illuminate

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