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pinkykitten · 4 years

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I was tagged by @writing-with-melon I hope my answers aren’t complete waste or if time and if so I’m sorry and I love you

Rules: Answer ten 10 questions, ask 10, and tag 10 people

1. What song automatically plays in your head when you look out the window on a long drive?

i dont really have an answer for this. i think i just automatically think about any song ive been listening to recently or any song that has been stuck in my head.

2. Do you have some snacks nearby when you write?

well i live in a two story house so the kitchen is downstairs and im usually lazy busy so since i have a mini fridge upstairs i just usually get water to drink while im writing. its kinda hard to eat and write cuz i loose focus really easily so when i am writing i am writing! i am in the zone! but if i am a little hungry ill usually snack on candy like chocolate kinder joys i love them but they r so expensive or snack on chips but i get like salt on my fingers or i like cheetos so cheetos dust and that just gets everywhere and later my hands and keyboard kinda smell like fart. 3. What do you do to combat creative burnout?

so burnout happens to me a lot so to get inspiration i either read other stories or fanfics which gets my head gears turning or i admire a piece of art or photography or a song. whats so unique and satisfying with writing you can explore and go anywhere with it, hehehe erotic if you know what i mean lol jk there are no barriers with writing just your imagination. there is inspiration any where you go and id advise to never stop writing. even if its a few short sentences or paragraphs about anything even bird poop its still progression and your mind is working and your searching for words like its all good for you bby. 4. Do you use (or like to use) prompts?

i do ill put the link here. im thinking of changing it though to do something different.

5. What is your favorite place to write?

lol boring, i know but my room. my room is really bright in the mornings and comfortable and chill and i have a candle of the pandora ride in disney that smells like the ride so its all good and relaxing and super peaceful plus i have a picture of myself the age of like 9 on my desk idk why but it encourages me and makes me focus to make sure i never get that cringy again.

6. What is a hobby or yous that you usually don’t talk about?

well i like working out HAHAHAHAHA jk that was a joke...get it...cuz i much rather be eatingokillstop. but i really like to draw which i have a art page you can see it if you click here pls look at my failed attempts to be hip and cool with the cool kids and being artsy fartsy. another hobby is i really like to do makeup and nail art, nail art is really tough guys no joke if you do it like you got wizard powers are something. maybe its bc my nails are shorter than pete davidson and ariana grande’s relationship, alright im trying to stop i swear!

7. Do you play an instrument? Which one?

no i wish though. i always wanted to learn to either play the piano or electric guitar cuz H.E.R looks so cool doing it.

8. How do you feel about your handwriting?

it sucks dont even try me. my sister can barely read it like no wonder nobody wants to steal my signature heck they can’t even read it!

9. Can you tell us of a story that marked your development as a person? As a writer?

ok sit back guys, sniff a nice amount of crack and get ready for the most cringy moment of my life but also a time when i knew i was meant to be *inhale* a fanfic writer.

so it was elementary school, i think 3rd grade and for my writing assignment we were given a prompt of idk what the heck tbh i think it was like be outside the box and im like ok imma nail this cuz im a weird child and yeah so i got my papers and pencil and i went TO TOWN on this paper. so i wrote two stories. one short story with a picture to go with it and one long story that yeah i buried years ago. so my first story was about a farmer was about that farming life. he had chickens and dairy. so i cant remember if the cheese was spoiled but doesnt matter. anywho these cheese and a chicken were alive like they could talk in the story and i gave them faces, yikes. but the whole story was the farmer was a b*tch and he was trying to eat the chicken and cheese so they hatched a plan to get away from the farmer. they did it successfully and they ran away. yay happy ending my teacher actually liked that one me too and my school mates were thinking what they heck is this girl on i made a story about how me and justin bieber made cookies for Christmas you know. so then my other story i was more proud of this one cuz it was a tone of paper, sorry trees, and this story was about how a female hippo (girl i was all about plus size and thicker girls and no body shaming) and an male ostrich were kidnapped from their own habitats and taken to become circus animals. failed version of Madagascar hey mine was before the circus movie OK THEY STOLE IT FROM MEEEEE. so they get taken and are treated to harsh punishment and the animals can talk and i think its in the point of view of the male ostrich guy thing. they are in the circus and they start to have this relationship happening. love starts blossoming its all good. im happy with this cuz i believed in love at age of 8. they find a way thru a kick butt scene of the animals escaping and the hippo and ostrich are so in love that they run away together and they have half hippo half ostrich babies and i think i named the species hipstrich or like ostppo idk but i was so proud of this story and when my teacher read it she was worried about me lol i think she thought i might like mate these two animals like secretly idk but she was like it was ok and i was like what this is frickin William Shakespeare writing or like F. Scott Fitzgerald writing. nevertheless it taught me a lesson that nobody else needs to like what im writing the main point and only thing that matters is if your proud of it and you like it and i really did. i will remember that story forever and thats what made me want to be a writer. lol sorry that was a lot.

10. @emdop I’m going to use this great question: Explain one of your WIPs in the most ridiculous way possible.

wellllll im working on my peaky blinders oc story its a lot of drugs money killing weapons jewelry rich profanities like its the show but written from my stubby hands so my oc and whatever its great and so excited to show it to you guys.

MY QUESTIONS:

1. WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO START TUMBLR?

2. IF YOU COULD CHANGE ANYTHING OF THIS WORLD, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

3. WHAT QUALITY IS IMPORTANT TO YOU?

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE OUTFIT?

5. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE?

6. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SONG IN THE WHOLE WORLD?

7. IF YOU COULD VISIT A PLACE, WHERE WOULD IT BE?

8. WHAT SHOW OR MOVIE UNIVERSE WOULD YOU WANT TO BE IN?

9. WHAT IS THE SCARIEST MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE?

10. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE IN THIS WORLD THAN ANYTHING ELSE?

im tagging: @thatlittlered, @ardentmuse, @acciosnapes, @lotsoffandomimagines, @collecting-stories, @blog-of-a-multitude-of-fandoms, @naughtyneganjdm, @lenahellgizibe and two random followers @spiritsent, @sucker-for-my-fandoms

i was tagged by @writing-with-melon again ty btw, ps i felt so much pressure lol jk 😊

Rules: Answer 5 questions, Ask 5 questions, Tag 5 people.

1. What is your favorite book?

fifty shades of grey hahaha naw my favorite book is obv you all know this is series of unfortunate events but i never usually cry period and i never cry for books ever so when i read mrs. tom thumb by melanie benjamin, its the part when her sister minnie dies i cried so hard idk it was just emotional the wording the way she described her pain it was so beautiful written yet so sad and that was just amazing to me cuz im like this book made me feel things and im like wow i would love to write a book one day and make someone feel something whether it be sadness anger happiness annoyance anything they are having an emotion and that is super powerful to do that with just words. pls go check out that book its a good read. also im a fan of the greatest showman so i really enjoyed it. there are many other books tho that i thoroughly enjoy so much.

2. What piece that you’ve written are you most proud of?

oh my god ive always wanted to be asked this question hands down i am always proud of my platonic gender neutral tony stark fic called in·con·sol·a·ble window to me i wrote it so sad and i was feeling like depressed lol when i saw peter die in infinity war like i didnt know what to do with my life tbh but im so glad that @impetrichorny requested it tysm i just like how its not based on romance or fluff or happiness it is based on when you lose someone the nightmares and sadness you go through and that there is nothing nobody can do about it except just be there for that person so i really like writing angst and something that was out of the box. ive been thinking tho of doing a part two since the fate of all the characters has changed after endgame. who knows tho.

3. What is the last song that inspired you?

well for art it would have to good news by mac miller when i did that kobe bryant memorial on my art page. i dont want to give it away though but ill just say some very powerful womens music inspired my oc writing and making.

4. How do you feel about letting people read what you write?

at first i was scared cuz i thought i wrote like trash which that feeling kinda doesnt go away like some days i feel that way others i feel confident or it depends on the request it just depends but anyways i was always insecure about my writing so when i started writing it was more like lets see how this goes if not ill delete the whole page. im glad to say it went great but in the begging it was hard cuz i kept putting myself down but i learned to accept or just understand that you keep learning with writing you always learn knew things with writing how you can explain something better or you words get more intricate and people see the improvement and you do too thats why i applaud those who dont speak english that english isnt their first language. you are doing a tremendous job and keep practicing cuz you’re gonna make it to the top. ive also learned that some days are not my days and you can take time off when youre not feeling it when you have writers block. just recollect your juices sip some tea go to the beach relax your mind a little and take as long as you need to come back and give it your all. also comments and reblogs and likes a follows those meant so much to me and encouraged me. thats why i cant express it enough how much all those mean to writers, artist, photographers, anybody who is truly trying their hard in this area of social media. its makes a person happy smile and confident in their writing but first train your mind into loving what you make not what others thing. you have to be happy with the outcome that is what truly matters and what makes your writing the best. look at me getting philosophical.

5. Do you get distracted easily? If yes with what?

yes and with porn haha i get distracted easily like very easily homeschooling was really tough for me. music distracts me, netflix, the urge to watch david dobrik or unus annus or buzzfeed unsolved on youtube, heck my farts distract me. i gotta be like troy bolton i gotta get my HEAD IN THE GAME!

MY QUESTIONS:

1. IF YOU COULD BE NAMED SOMETHING ELSE, WHAT WOULD YOU BE NAMED?

2. WHAT PERSON INSPIRES YOU THE MOST?

3. IF YOU KNEW THE WORLD WAS ENDING TOMORROW WHAT WOULD YOU DO TODAY?

4. WHAT DO YOU OFTEN THINK ABOUT IN THE SHOWER?

5. WHATS YOUR WEIRD COMBINATION FOOD?

im tagging: @thatlittlered, @ardentmuse, @acciosnapes, @lotsoffandomimagines, @collecting-stories AND WHOEVER WANTS TO DO THIS IF YOU FOLLOW ME OR LIKE MY STORIES TAG ME ILL READ YOUR ANSWERS. HOPE I DID THIS RIGHT SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING MWUAH

#ask #@writing-with-melon #rambles #writing #tips on writing #unus annus #david dobrik #netflix #buzzfeed unsolved #peaky blinders oc #kobe bryant #mac miller #tony stark #peter parker #the greatest showman #tom thumb #troy bolton #zac efron

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peachyzens · 6 years

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blogger! mingyu au

blogger! mingyu au

genre: fluffffffff summary: working in an ~aesthetic~ cafe brings all sorts of bloggers, but this one stood out the most (2,865 words) a/n: in honor of mingyu’s (and minghao’s) new instagram, i couldn’t help it, and this turned out much longer than i had planned but yay for 3 au’s in a row!!!! masterlist can be found here!

mingyu was a food blogger

always trying out new food places and taking nice pictures and writing really detailed reviews

he was actually well known in the food blogging world and he even posts his own recipes sometimes that are actually really good??!

so most people who are into that know who he is and these restaurants want him to do reviews because it really does help bring in more business!!!

so you, y/n, work in this one cafe

your friend hooked you up with a job there and you needed the money

and this cafe was actually pretty popular on its own, for it’s aesthetic appeal

it was actually a hidden cafe so it was almost an elitist type of cafe???

but anyways thats where all the cool tumblr people go

you were a barista mainly, with occasionally being the server or cashier

but you were pretty used to all the teens coming in and taking pictures of the place and stuff

and it made you pretty proud and happy because they would take pictures of the cute latte art you put on the drinks :,)

MOVING ON

mingyu has decided to finally check this place out, after hearing good reviews and getting many requests for him to check it out

so he does

and when he manages to find it and walk in, he already took some notes

“very hard to find, got lost multiple times, but nice interior!! very warm and cozy, would be a nice place to study” were what he wrote when he walked right in

and since he came in during a pretty slow time, you were the only one behind the counter so you were being the cashier, server, and barista

and highkey he made you nervous with how he was writing in a little notepad because what if he is some industry person about to shut you guys down??? can’t let that happen

so you put up your best customer service facade and smile brightly at him

“hello! welcome to mystical cafe!!! how can i help you?” you spoke out to him

“um yes hi, i’m visiting for my food blog!!” he responded back nervously, because he was dazzled by your smile

“oh really? well i’m glad you decided to visit!! what can i get started for you?”

“i’ll take whatever you recommend” he responded smoothly with a cheesy grin, one that made you feel giddy inside

“um sure! my personal favorite is a pistachio milk latte, or a roasted americano if you aren’t into sweet things! our mint mocha is another personal favorite as well” you recommended, thinking of all the drinks you were best at making so you could impress this cutie

“i’ll take that pistachio milk latte, and one of those ham and cheese croissants” he ordered, and you put it in

when you told him his total, you saw him slip a couple dollars into the tip jar before paying you

you made a mental note to make his drink EXTRA perfect because he was nice and cute

so you went to work and he took a seat not too far from the counter, but it was facing you at an odd angle

as you made his drink, you can see him at the corner of your eye get settled in as he sets his backpack down while pulling out a computer

for his latte, you put one of your most delicate and prettiest designs on top, and even garnished his croissant with some leaves

you nervously went up to his table and put his plates down, as he looked back at you with another smile

“it looks great!! thank you for making it look nice, this will look really good in pictures!!” he thanked you as he pulled out a large camera

“no problem!! it’s my specialty, the latte art” you spoke with pride, taking in the design you put on his drink

it actually was one of your best works

“i can tell, you are really talented! i’ll enjoy this a lot!” he spoke as you finally made your leave back towards the counter

and it was just you two in the cafe for a while, with the occasional customer coming in for a drink to go

and it was a really quiet and peaceful atmosphere, you were doing your thing and he was doing his

you both also took the occasional glance towards each other and would shyly smile and nod if you guys made eye contact

and he stayed there for quite a few hours, but the night time rush hit and you finally had more coworkers but it made your job busy as the main barista

so you forgot about mingyu for a while and when you looked up to his seat he was gone

and you were a bit bummed out that you didn’t get his name but you hoped that he would come back one day

so fast forward a few days

you were sweeping in the cafe and it was in the slow period, where there were just you and a few students studying

you saw two figures come in through the door and greeted them without looking before putting the broom away and heading back to the cashier

“hey we meet again!!!” a familiar voice greeted you

you looked up to see mingyu smiling brightly at you with his cute canines, accompanied by another male who took in the surroundings

“nice to see you again! what can i get for you?” you responded with a smile

“i’ll get that pistachio latte again! it was really good, how about you minghao?” he nudged his friend

“i’ll try your mint mocha” his friend spoke up, and you happily put in their orders

“alrighty, that’ll be (insert total)!! and can i get a name?” you gathered the courage to ask, normally you don’t ask for names when it was this slow but you needed to know

“it’s mingyu!! and yours?” he responded with a wink that made you a bit flustered

“i-it’s y/n…your drinks will be out in a bit!!” you spoke awkwardly, hoping your cheeks weren’t flaming red by now

meanwhile minghao raised his eyebrows at mingyu not so subtly flirting with you because yay for thirdwheeling!!!!

so they took their seats and you began making their drinks, your heart still fluttering because you finally got a name to his cute face, and his cute face keeps popping up in your mind

“were you flirting with her dude” minghao whispered to mingyu

“was it that obvious”

“maybe not to others but to me it was”

“hey she’s cute and makes a good latte, now shush and wait for your taste buds to be blessed” mingyu spoke dramatically, as he and minghao pulled out their computers to work on stuff

while mingyu was a food blogger, minghao was a photographer

so as mingyu was writing up a review minghao was in photoshop editing his latest works

and then you approached them with their drinks

this time you put a fancy leaf design in mingyu’s drink and an infinity sign in minghao’s LOL

and you all worked peacefully for hours

from then on, mingyu would always come in, either by himself or with minghao

and by this time, you had his order memorized - a pistachio latte

you two were also on more friendlier terms, with having more random conversations than the typical small talk

“you should try something else, we have plenty of other drinks??” you would say to him to which he would pout at

“but i can’t help it!!! you make a mean pistachio latte, it’s so good i don’t even want to try anything else”

you would roll your eyes at him but make it for him anyways

“one day i swear i’m purposely going to give you the wrong drink”

“you wouldn’t dare”

and your designs for him would always be different, and he would always notice it

sometimes your designs had some kind of inside joke between you two

like once, he came in looking like a mess because he had to pick up his friend from the airport but he was really thirsty and nearby

so you put an airplane just for the giggles

and when he came in the next day, he brought it up and you couldn’t help but giggle

you two basically just had a really cute worker and customer bond, even your friend that worked with you noticed

“hey that cute guy is checking you out again”

“wHAT WHAT CUTE GUY WHERE HOW DO I LOOK”

“the one over there” and they would point to mingyu

“oh mingyu? stop it that’s weird we are like close acquaintances” you would say back, and your friend would roll their eyes because THEY KNOW, WE ALL KNOW

so your coworkers actually made bets on you guys, betting that you guys would eventually fall in love and date and be all cute and gross

minghao was on the same boat

“can you stop staring at her you’re embarrassing”

“what i am not staring what are you talking about”

“you literally look like a lovesick puppy right now”

“Excuse me this is the expression of a working genius”

“yeah whatever just ask for her number already” minghao rolled his eyes

mingyu couldn’t deny that he wanted to, he found you so intriguing and wanted to get to know you more

so one day he promised himself he would ask you for your number

the next time he comes in, he is like bursting with nerves because he was FINALLY GOING TO DO IT

“h-hey y/n!!” he stuttered way to be smooth

“hey mingyu, normal pistachio latte today?” you said, already inputting in his order

“y-yeah!!!!! and can i get your number too??” you looked at him with a surprised look

“b-because of my blog! yeah, my blog. my post for this spot is almost done and i want to get your input??” he said with a nervous smile, hoping you didn’t see through his nervous facade

instead you just smiled and chuckled

“yeah of course! let me write it down, but you better write good things in that post!!!” you said with a joking smile as you wrote it down on a piece of paper

it was a good thing it was slow otherwise you wouldn’t have the time to do that

“why wouldn’t i? with your service i’d give this place a million stars!!” he smiled, dazzling you

you couldn’t deny that your heart fluttered a bit, but handed him the paper with your number on it

“thanks, i want to see the post when it’s done!!” you called out to him as he went to his normal seat

he gave you a childish salute as you rolled your eyes and went to make his drink

he pulled out his phone and sent you a text, one you would see when you went on your break

“it’s your pistachio latte’s biggest fan, aka mingyu ;-)” the text said

when you read that you couldn’t help but laugh as your coworker who was next to you gave you a weird look

so now that you guys had each others number, you ended up talking a lot more

he would text you and ask you for your hours so he could be there, and you would text him random questions about restaurants you want to try

“you know, i run a food blog, i can always take you to the best spots i found!!”

“you don’t have to, but i want to hear your recommendations!!!”

“no you have to go with me :( otherwise you won’t know whats good and get something bad then blame me”

“(eyerolling emoji) fine fine”

and that was how you found yourself in a sushi restaurant with mingyu after one of your shifts!

“so the unagi here is really good, not too saucy like some places but the sauce is the perfect balance between sweet and savory. also the salmon has beautiful marbling and you can taste the quality of their fish!!!” he would go on and on about the menu, and you would just nod back in response

you found his excitement when rambling about these things really cute though, it made you even softer for him

“you know, i like doing this!! you’re like my personal little yelp” you said as you guys walked out together, tummies happy and full

“i know! minghao gets tired of me occasionally, so i wouldn’t mind having a new partner to eat out with!!!”

so you two ended up going on food outings more often, whether it would be a place mingyu tried before or a new one you both decided to visit

one day, when you were both in the cafe and it was slow, you decided to ask mingyu something that just popped into your head

he actually changed his normal spot to one by the barista counter, so he could talk to you more and watch you work because he’s bored

“mingyu, you never sent me that blog post you made for here? actually, you never showed me your blog in general” you asked him as you wiped down the counter and looked at him from behind the counter

he anxiously gulped before meeting your curious stare

“oh yeah huh? when is your break, i’ll show you then” you checked the time and it was right about that time, much to your joy

“right now!! now pull that baby up” you said before taking the seat next to him

he nervously tapped on the keyboard before pulling it up

normally he loved showing off his blog to people who asked, it was his pride and joy

but for some reason he felt nervous showing it to you??

MAINLY because he started pouring some of his feelings into it

traces of you scattered his blog, with subtle references or even some cameos in the pictures

normal people wouldn’t notice it but you definitely would even minghao noticed

so he shifts his laptop to you and you start scrolling

you were intrigued, reading all of his posts as he just watched with a soft smile you read it with a concentrated face

you were actually amazed by his blog, it was so beautiful and everything was beautifully written

even his reviews were so detailed, it sounded like he was a professional

“wow mingyu this is so good!! why didn’t you show it to me before??” you asked him, turning to meet his stare

you lowkey felt yourself melt under his gaze but pushed it to the back of your mind

“because i was afraid you were going to find out”

“find out what??” you asked, really confused

“i was afraid you were going to read a lot of my old posts, and then read my newer ones and notice the difference”

at this point you were really confused because in the time you knew him he was the same??

“ever since i met you, i’ve become more of a hopeless romantic in these posts. if you actually read some comments they point it out, but because you pop into my mind whenever i write these posts it shows in my writing” he confesses, and you are still slightly confused about what he’s saying, before he rolls his eyes and takes the computer back

he searches for something and when he finds it his face lights up as he highlights it before handing it back to you

it was his post for the cafe you work at and highlighted was

“the amazing drinks are one thing that keeps me coming back, but what pulls me in even more is the bright barista. she is very attentive, and puts delicate details into her work, which i admire most about her. she is constantly smiling, no matter what attitude she is faced with. her smile and presence adds to the loving and comfortable aura here, which is what prevents me from leaving. her friendliness is one that creates reappearing faces, including mine. at this point, i think i come for her now more than i do for the drinks, but the drinks are another bonus! if only she knew the effects she has on me”

reading that and knowing who it was about, you couldn’t help but blush at his sweet words

you look over to meet his ever so sweet smile

“my drinks are that good huh?” you couldn’t help but crack a joke

“i basically confessed my heart and you respond with a lame joke??” he rolled his eyes dramatically

you giggled and leaned in towards him

“if you are glad to have me as your barista, i’m glad to have you as my customer. your loyalty, cheerfulness, and pure, positive self always make my days even better. not to mention you know where all the good spots for food are” you smiled and winked

he smiled back at you, before holding your hand and caressing it gently

“i guess i can say i now have an official foodie buddy now, or should i say girlfriend?”

#seventeen #mingyu #kim mingyu #mingyu au #mingyu scenario #seventeen scenarios #seventeen aus #mingyu fluff #kim mingyu scenarios

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stylessemantics · 7 years

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A Final Goodbye

This blog is turning one year old! And to celebrate it, I will be closing stylessemantics.tumblr.com! So this is my goodbye letter!

If you’re reading this, my blog is officially one year old (is it July 10th already?) Yes future me, it is! And here is why, if you even care. If you don’t then well... I can’t really blame you.

If you don’t want to read all the way to the end: Monday July 10th will be the last day I’ll be around, until exactly 11:59pm. Happy reading!

And if you’re reading this it also means you’ve clicked to read more! Thank you.

So stylessemantics is a year old. Wow. Time flies. I would know because if you’re reading this it means I’m stepping off.

I guess I should start at the beginning?

Stylessemantics was always a one year project to me. Or at least that’s how it started. I thought I could do this to sort of improve my writing skills, to try something new, to meet new people, to do something fun. And it was! I mean I don’t know if my writing got any better, to me it got a lot worse, or maybe that was just my mind getting worse. IDK.

On the road, stylessemantics turned into so much more. I would be away for a day and I’d miss it so much. I wanted to come back. It became a little safe haven where I could be me, or try to be a better version of me, and possibly failed as well, and where I had something interesting going on for once. Now I don’t want this to be a very sad letter but you guys know me, I’m the sour-patch of every party. (maybe that’s why i never get invited to any hmmm)

All jokes aside this year has been a rollercoaster in every sense of the word. (guys we got solo harry can you believe that? I still can’t) At some point I found myself thinking “I could keep stylessemantics, this doesn’t have to be a one year thing, it doesn’t have to be an experiment” and let me tell you those days were pretty much eternal. I was on a high pretty much all the time. I was so in love with tumblr. Don’t take this the wrong way, I still love it to bits and it’s turned into something kind of vital to me. But the good days didn’t last. If they had; you wouldn’t be reading this now.

So yeah, I thought about saving all my works of fiction and taking the whole blog down and well I didn’t plan well enough to make stylessemantics a sideblog that i could just password protect and secretly keep. So it was final: stylessemantics was going to be deleted. And I was okay with that for the longest time. I never thought I would be so shit at keeping promises that I’d have 15+ requests in my inbox back from 2016, still unwritten. And with an 8 chapter fic still stuck on chapter 6. And with 700 promises to AU’s and things I wanted to write. It’s safe to say those promises were made on the days I thought I would keep stylessemantics. But as of today (sunday, july 9th, 2017) it’s been a bad bad bad day. I’ve been dancing around the delete blog for the longest time but I decided that was a bit unfair.

Now I don’t think I’m anything interesting for anyone to be reading this (if you are, wow, makes me wanna reconsider staying lol) so i know a lot of people are going to like this without even reading what’s going on, but I still thought “hey I’ve made some friends... and only 3 of them know that stylessemantics was probably going to die in July” so it was a bit unfair to just up and leave. So at least there’s a letter, right?

Anyways, I guess there’s no real explanation as to why stylessemantics was a 1 year thing for me, why did i decide that and why my mind wandered between making it a 2 (3,4,5 who knows how many) year thing or not. There’s no explanation really, so I can’t fully give you one, but what I can say is that I’m insanely grateful for the good days this big ol’ blog gave me. And by that I mean you reading this. No matter what, stylessemantics was something important to me, and it changed me even if it was just a bit. So for that I’ll be forever thankful. And I say this a lot but I want you to know I mean it. All the time.

I don’t deserve it. Call it my depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues, self-love issues, whatever one of those I have (aka all) but I feel very undeserving of such a loving community. I never got a single hate comment and to be honest I was scared and tiptoeing around everything too much to get any but oh well, I’m going to act like that’s just y’all being nice to my fragile mind. For my poor mind’s sake lol.

Now I did say that 3 of my friends knew about this thing, and well they all talked me through sad days where I wanted to just erase this blog from existence and helped me get to a final decision. Stylessemantics won’t be deleted. I’m much too attached to little pieces of paper and old photos and whatever to not be extremely attached to this blog and conversations I’ve had in it and stuff like that. And I know myself well enough to know I’ll regret deleting. (i deleted my first instagram 2 weeks into college and I’m still sour about it...) I’ll regret not having at least screenshots of beautiful messages and nice song lyrics that being on tumblr have inspired and other wonderful things. That plus the fact that I’m still not 100% sure if I want to leave stylessemantics for good (can you cound how many times I’ve written stylessemantics? wow I have to stop) or not, well... The decision is that this blog won’t be deleted. It won’t be deactivated. (if i could close it without losing my tumblr url and account that would be grand, but I can’t cause this is a main blog. Iv didn’t think this through back in 2016)

This blog will still be here. Saved. Untouched. With its open inbox, open submit page and open messenger. With its masterlist still up, and with its pretty rose quartz and serenity blue theme. The only difference is that this is going to be the last post on it. I won’t be here. There will be no one responding. And maybe, one day, I’ll stumble upon something weird that will remind me of this and I’ll think “do I want to continue stylessemantics?” and maybe I’ll come back peeping my little eye emoji.

I want to make a promise that I’ll come and post the reminder of BIM and the Marcel fic and all of those requests I never got to fill. But we’ve been at this for a year. I’m simply the worst person when it comes to writing and keeping my writing promises (i was gonna say I’m the worst at keeping promises in general but even with my below-7th-level-of-hell-self-esteem and lower-than-minus-70-degrees-self-love, I can say I DO keep all my promises, just not the writing ones. whooops.)

Some promises I will keep tho:

I’ll still love every single one of you.

I’ll still be around tumblr on another account (winkwink) so I’m still reading my mutual’s works and supporting my peeps. If you spot me, come say hi, but don’t ask me to write or bring back this blog.

I’ll always be undeserving of every single ounce of love or attention I receive here or on any other blog I move to, for the remainder of my days on this earth.

I will try to better myself and my writing. (and seek professional help for my issues. Finger’s crossed)

i will try to have something new to post if I ever come back (fanfic related)

I will always love Harry.

stylessemantics will most likely be back, even if it’s just to say happy new year, or wish my own self a happy birthday (that’s sad, forget that one)

I’ll come post a selfie when I graduate college, I swear.

I’ll be around until the end of the day (July 10th) and then I’ll post this again and it will be the finishing line of this blog.

#goodbye #stylessemantics #july 10 2017 #stylessemantics is one year old #stylessemantics birthday #blog birthday #and end date

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shawnjacksonsbs · 7 years

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Pursuit of Happiness, Pt 1. 3-25-17

Pursuit of happiness is the title, mainly because its catchy, but really, I am not pursuing said happiness much these days. I suppose I should have called it what it really is that i am looking for, which is probably more accurately, “The Supporting Infrastructure for Contentment Maintenance”. That doesn’t sound nearly as interesting though, does it? Lol

Happiness is to me, an emotional idea. An idea born of two very different parents, philosophy-its mother and psychology-its father. The main maternal, philosophical attribute, I believe to be love and the paternal psychological attribute would be gratitude, more over the expression of gratitude.

This entry turned out a bit longer than I expected so I have decided to make it a two part, two-day entry, based on each “parental” side. The first of which is;

GRATITUDE and the expression thereof –

“The more you are grateful for what you have the more you will have to be grateful for” - Zig Ziglar

Truer words have never been spoken by the way, not to me at least. And i will never be able to share this enough.

I don’t know why I always lead with the “gratitude” side first, especially and even before the “love” side. In my heart, obviously, I feel like the love should be more important to maintaining happiness, but in all actuality, I have felt the gratitude and expression of it, hit me directly in a drowning pool of depression and kill it, straight through. It didn’t happen overnight, but it did and once the habit can be formed, well the rest, as they say, is history, just a more happy history for a change. Lol

Being truly grateful is kind of easy actually, but recognizing it as gratitude by expressing habitually is what makes it work. The magic starts the minute you express actual gratitude you feel for even the most minuscule things. I swear it works. It did for me anyway.

What ARE the most important things for achieving, and to maintaining happiness? I mean like, what are the real key components.

When I google searched “What is the most important thing to being happy?” I found a lot of good articles, some personal blogs, etc. I realized that a lot of what I read, I already knew, and most, is stuff I have shared in here, with you guys. Answers like;

“GET WHAT YOU WANT. Work towards what you want, you will find at the end of the day, the goals you set out to achieve, if you do achieve them. You will be calm.

Happiness is subjective. It is an effect of everything in your body - the mental, the physical, a culmination of two.”

https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-most-important-thing-to-be-happy

“Positive psychology has just scratched at the surface of the benefits of topics like meditation, gratitude and forgiveness,” Emma Seppala, Ph.D., a positive psychologist at Stanford

Transcript of “The happy secret to better work”, TED Talk Subtitles and Transcript: “We believe we should work hard in order to be happy, but could we be thinking about things backwards? In this fast-moving and very funny talk, psychologist Shawn Achor argues that, actually, happiness inspires us to be more productive”

http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work/transcript?language=en

So, most was/is/are things I already knew or know, and also some things that maybe I knew, but didn’t exactly realize how important a role they played. Like, for example, meditation, and forgiveness.

I actually found my ability to be grateful through my way of meditating, as it were. Meditation isn’t all that tricky, although it’s not exactly simple at first either, at least not for me, nor my way, which could be different from yours or anyone else for that matter. Clearing the mind while waiting for answers/solutions and the like to find their way to me, isn’t exactly like being “blank” inside my mind. A lot of my meditation is done while writing my blog. The “way” will always present itself if we know how and where to look for it.

If I am at a place in my life where I truly feel confused on a topic, it’s usually because I’m dwelling on it in the wrong light, but when I have to word the confusion in such a way, for you guys to follow along, the “right” way or thing, usually opens up for me before I even finish writing. That’s my meditation.

Forgiveness, is huge. If gratitude is at the top, then forgiveness has to be part of the building blocks. The ability to forgive those who have wronged you, including but not limited to yourself.

For those in the back, I’ll try and type a little louder-FORGIVING YOURSELF IS IMPORTANT IF YOU TRULY WANT TO BE HAPPY.

It definitely holds true for me. I really care about me now. I will never forget the damage I caused to the people I hold most dear, but somebody told me once, that if they could forgive me for what I had done to them, then what right did I have to still be upset at me. It made it feel not worth it, I guess. Like I took it away from them until I forgave me too. Make sense?

I pretty much worked my way through any all amends/forgiveness issues with in the last few years, except for one. It is, by far, one of my biggest hang ups, but I left the door open for amends, which is pretty close to forgiveness. When I accepted the fact that I was ready to be ok with my father, and with our relationship whatever it may be, regardless of how he feels, well that was the best thing I think I have ever done for me, about and/or towards someone else. I suppose to free myself from resentments is equal to forgiveness in some ways.

I also, feel like happiness is of the short, more right now variety (if I feel happy about today while in today its direct happiness), as where contentment is a longer more, overview to all the little short happy moments throughout our time alive (if I feel happy about today while in yesterday, today, AND tomorrow that’s contentment). I think they are one and both the same, but slightly different. Lol I hope I shared that right. The last couple of lines are how I feel inside, not from definitions, or articles, or anything like that but from my heart, a heart just like yours, which is generally right. Lol

TO BE CONTINUED TOMORROW… .

Until then;

“The ability to see stress as a challenge instead of as a threat… for happiness and success, and in doing so, not only create ripples of positivity, but a real revolution.” Paraphrased from psychologist Shawn Achor

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